Stop Podcasting Yourself - Stop Podcasting Yourself - ep.11

Episode Date: May 16, 2008

Comedian and roommate Sean Proudlove teaches us the ways of American cereal and the cartoons and hockey cards of the 1970's.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hey everybody, welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is episode number 11 or owns in French. My name is Graham Clark and with me here the hilarious and wonderful Dave Shumka. How's it going Dave?

I'm wonderful. And hilarious. Thank you. and hilarious thank you and joining us here today is the very funny comedian slash producer slash future birthday boy sean proudlove how's it going sean good two out of three things you said are true you're a comedian right i was a producer yeah oh that's right you know but you produce the thing in abbotsford sometimes still right yeah once every four months once every four months that's good it's's more than Dave's doing. Yeah, that's true.

And more than I'm doing currently, actually. I do produce a podcast. Well, I guess I am on the low end of the producing scale here. I produce nothing. You co-produce it. Okay. All right.

Thanks, Dave. So yeah, this is Sean's first time down to the podcast. And what we like to start with is a little segment we call get to know us get to know us just uh tell us what's been going on you just came back like two weeks ago from an extendo tour in uh in ontario where you stayed at a hilarious house i did how was it how was the tour uh the tour was good uh the uh place the living accommodations were below uh human standards though when i say human standards i'm not you know i can live in uh muck, but this place was disgusting. It was ridiculous because we both stayed there on the first night.

Yeah. And I stayed on the floor. He secured the couch. You secured the couch, right? I did. I pissed on it, and it was mine. Which is not that far from the truth. Hard to detect.

It was just the wettest. I woke up in the morning, and the very first thing I heard was there was a lot of ruckus in the bathroom, and then Rob Pugh walking downstairs grabbing a pot out of the kitchen and then going back in the bathroom. And I'm like, I don't know what's happening, but apparently the toilet had given up flushing. Yes. So it had to be flushed using water into the tank. Yeah, it couldn't fill itself. It could over a long period of time, but with five people living there.

Yeah, there was five people in the house, right? Six, actually. Five. Okay, yeah, there was... That's right. And it was like, you know, Fight Club? Right, the dilapidated old...

But even that was more homey than... I'm actually breaking the rule because you're not supposed to talk about it. Oh, that's right. Whoops. Yeah, but I came in with a fresh new attitude, and I'm like, why don't we use a bucket instead of a pot? Because a pot took too long. You had to fill it up.

That's right. That was your innovation. I brought in a huge bucket. You put it in the bathtub and do that. But then people got lazy, and they wouldn't even flush it. So you'd have to go there. Yeah. I've never been that lazy.

They called it soup. I know. It was lazy. And then you'd have to go and fill a bucket to use the thing. It was hilarious. It's like a movie where kids wish to be adults, and then they all grow up at the same moment, and then they have to live in a house. That's what it was like.

It was big. Except not without the money. If it's yellow, let it mellow. Certainly. But if it's brown... It always mellowed. That applied in the sink, too. Did anybody pee in the sink?

I could have sometimes it was randomly clean I know when I left there though the sink had clogged up completely and it was a nice mixture of it was getting to the heavy water level but it was like a white frothy foam and somebody's beard shaving

trims on top of it. So it looked like it had rabies. But then somebody said, why don't you plunge it? Like, that's a great idea. And they plunged it, and the water went down, but the sediment of something came up. And honestly, God, it looked like diarrhea sink. And it smelled worse than anything I've ever smelled in my life.

Honestly, God, I almost sharped. Yeah, okay. But yeah. And you stayed there there for that was the last day you were there for like what three four weeks four weeks four weeks and i also got a stomach virus somewhere in the middle so you can imagine how how is the question well i thought it was food poisoning but uh then it uh when i got rid of it somebody else got the same thing. So they eliminated food poisoning. You were living in basically plague conditions. Well, I think that's what was happening.

My body was just being inoculized by the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to go through something horrible to fucking live. Now you're invincible. Most people it would have, I think, killed. But I survived. And that wasn't the last week you found out there was mice. Mice.

A comic friend was staying on the floor. Ben. Ben Mills. Ben Mills. Our friend on the road. Two minutes later, he's good about lying down. That's what the house just makes you not care about anything. But I think Ben already was.

Yeah. Yeah. If he had found, like, a tarp, he would have just rolled up in it. That's the way Ben Mills is. He's easy breezy. Mouse was sleeping on his chest. It was cute. Yeah, amongst many other things.

The garage was garbage. It was just literally where they threw the garbage in there. Yeah, they just threw the garbage in the garage. And there was smells in there. And also the fact they had no electricity. They hadn't paid electricity ever. So they kept getting bills. So we were like the threat that there'd smells in there. And also the fact they had no electricity. They hadn't paid electricity ever, so they kept getting bills. So we were like the threat that there'd be no electricity. It was like wartime conditions.

I don't think I could have stayed there if there was no electricity. I mean, I'm hard on myself because I need to grow up. Yeah. But I pay the bills. Me too. There are certain standards you live with. Clean the bathroom once a month. The garbage goes in a garbage can

they've given up makes sense so yeah so you survived and you came back and the shows were okay though right oh shows were great it's really easy out there and so anything interesting happen since you've been back I don't think so you say it's real easy out there

is it well for me too is Vancouver hard I don't think so. You say it's real easy out there. Is it? Well, for me, it is. Oh, it's really easy for you everywhere. Is Vancouver hard? Yeah, well, it's a lot of rednecks. I mean, I went to a lot of, there are rednecks everywhere. I mean, you know, they're dumb. Some of them don't watch television.

But generally, they are a little more easygoing than, I think, Vancouver for trying on their part. Right, right, right. People here are a little more easy. That's true. Not like a tremendous amount, but a little bit. Same as Calgary. Calgary's a little bit more easy as compared to Vancouver. But I think if you try, I think that's the difference.

Is it them trying or am I trying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it plays a lot. I wanted to do well, so I didn't. Rednecks love me. Yeah. I'm very cerebral. Rednecks love me.

Yeah. I'm very cerebral. And then all this week, it's been Bond on television. All this week on... What is it, AMC? AMC. AMC. And it's awesome. It might be Spike.

No, because there's no ads, right? It's another movie channel. I don't know which one it's called. Like, 53's AMC. AMC, and then there's Turner Classic Movies. It's not Turner Classic Movies, is it? No, it's like Channel 38. I don't know what's called. 53's AMC. AMC, and then there's Turner Classic Movies. It's not Turner Classic Movies, is it? No, it's like Channel 38. I don't know what they are.

That's AMC. Encore Avenue. Oh, yeah, could be. Is it Encore Avenue? I think it might be Encore Avenue. So, yeah, it's been Bond every day. We were just watching Timothy Dalton. Timothy Hutton.

Yes, ordinary people. Exactly. The Caveman movie was very good. Was he it was a quest for fire no no quest for fire was long before they had a ray don chung my favorite james bond uh i think was judd wright he was good soft-spoken we watched uh yesterday they had like a countdown of the top ten best James Bond moments. Yeah. And they were showing the number one was the laser going up to the crotch. Mm-hmm.

And they interviewed all the old special effects guys. Crotch experts. And the one guy, because the way they created it was there was a light beam and then there was a guy with a blowtorch underneath the table. Yeah. Kind of making a line, right? But he couldn't see anything. So he was just waiting for the cue, and he was getting ever closer to Sean Connery's crotch.

But he's like this old guy now. He's like, I still didn't know how close I was to the crotch. It was thoroughly entertaining. Old-time movie-making. I had heard that the new Indiana Jones, they were going to do it with no CGI and all just old-timey special effects. Did they do that? No. No.

They found out it cost a lot of money. Kept killing people. Whoops. When I saw the previews, I realized, yeah, that's CGI. the previews, I realized, yeah, that's CGI. It's unfortunate because CGI sometimes is the best thing for the movie, right? It's just the movie makes sense. Like the Matrix CGI, that was perfect. Go back and watch it. And Ratatouille.

Go back and watch it. Why? Go back and watch it. I get mixed up. Why? Go back and watch it. Why? Just because I find, like, at the time, CGI stuff seemed so impressive. But if you go back, it just keeps improving so much. I watched Gladiator a couple weeks ago, and I'm like, they're not in ancient Rome. Oh, yeah. Was it bad? It was a little bad. It's funny, because I don't ever think

CGI looks convincing. Really. I always know that I'm watching Except in Beowulf, I thought that was really convincing. Yeah, it was really convincing. With their dead eyes. But yeah, what's the movie that just came out? Speed Racer.

I don't know. know no but it's cartoony cgi uh jeffrey you described that as it looks like a rainbow taking a shit i love speed racers as a kid though so yeah i'm one of the few that watched it as a child yeah yeah it was uh struck him and marine boy i don't know if any of your viewers are marine boy boy he was really speed racer but gayer and underwater it uh so he had a really cute song if you can get it on the internet put it on it's like marine boy i can't hit the pitch but uh so there was speed races marine boys was astro boy in that same time frame or did astro boy come later i think he came later. Yeah.

Because these were on when in, like, 72. See, for people who don't know, Sean's like an aficionado of all things 70s cartoon or culture. Vaguely. I'm slowly losing the memories every year. Yeah, but you have amassed quite the impressive collection of 70s kitsch. Yes. Like, more so than anybody. Even more so, I'd say, than Cliff Nesteroff. And he's got a lot.

But Sean's gone... He's gone out of... You've got... How many McDonald's uniforms? Oh, 20. 20. Like vintage full, right? I could staff two restaurants. Are you an aficionado on anything, Graham? I am an aficionado on anything graham i am an aficionado i think on um i don't know if i'm an aficionado on any one subject i but i like to think that i'm so i'd like any other comedian

not any other a lot of comedians don't ever watch comedy but i think i like to think i'm an aficionado on comedy i think i know he could tell you almost every one of Carrot Top's jokes. What, has he got two? Yeah, he's got two jokes. We watched, you watched that with me, right? The Gallagher special? Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen...

Oh, man. He was... Like, he was not... Just to say that he was the Carrot Top of his day is underestimating. Oh, really? Yeah, he was huge. Way bigger than Carrot Top ever is, was, or will be. Although, I once saw an episode of The View, I want to say in 2002, that had America's most eligible bachelors, and one of them was Carrot Top,

and they did a segment with him at his many homes. Yeah, he's super rich. He's tri-coastal. Was that before he buffed up to super- It was on the way up to- Did we talk about this before, about the episode of Gene Simmons Family Jewels? Did you see that, where he was on it? No, I saw the Ace Frehley Family Jewels.

It's not as good. It's really depressing. It's not as sad. It's really like Intervention. I saw the Bruce Kulik Family Jewels. That was Ace Frehley's replacement in Kiss. In case anybody out there isn't in the Kiss army. In the non-makeup era.

The Gene Simmons Family Jewels, there was an episode where Gene Simmons and Carrot Top... They went to Las Vegas. Right. And then they decided to go thrift store shopping at a Salvation Army and it was supposed to be this thing like Carrot Top's so funny

he can just pick up anything but they had put all these all of his things around in the store so he would pick them up and be like what about this? And I was like but that's one of your bits. It wasn't just in the store like that. Like a trunk at the end

of the aisle. Hey look at this trunk with stuff in it. I'm gonna buy this whole trunk and bring it on the road with me meanwhile marty putz is somewhere crying do you remember marty putz don't who's marty putz he was uh do you remember make me laugh yes mark cohen oh marty putz was the uh the prop comic who was always on it with uh blue vinyl pants and a blue hockey jersey that's right why doesn't that come out on DVD yet? I mean, they must have made me laugh. Yeah, four or five seasons of that, just waiting for Christmas to come.

I remember, what was the one guy that they had, Bruce Baum? Wouldn't he come on? Because he had a huge, thick mustache. And he would do, he was a prop comic, Bruce Baum. Yeah, yeah. Not as proppy, but he would do. Right, right, right. Yeah, he was of the Dave Coulier era.

Yeah, he was kind of... He guested on a lot of TV shows in the early 90s. Yeah, because he was wacky. He looked a little bit like David Crosby. He looks a lot like David Crosby, actually. Or that Cheeto guy. I can't remember who was that guy. Cheeto?

Chester Cheetah. No, Chester Cheetah, yes. No, there was a... I can't remember his name. He. Cheetos? Chester Cheetah. No, Chester Cheetah, yes. No, there was a, I can't remember his name. He's even older and looked exactly the same. The reason I asked you. Wilford Remley? No, I think he threw glitter, too. The reason I asked.

Oh, you mean, not Gary Glitter, you know, throws the glitter. Zach Galifianakis. No. Exactly. He is a modern day Zach Galifianakis. Not Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor is another guy modern day Zach Almanacis. Not Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor is another guy.

I can't remember his name. I can't believe I went the distance and it wasn't even the right guy. Say something for next week's. I'll drop a line for you guys. Let's talk about it. But there's another guy that's very similar. I'm thinking of putting on the blog when I put all the pictures of the stuff we talk about. I'm just actually researching stuff and putting corrections and oh yeah like acts well like the time that

we thought that jonathan winters was dead yeah and then you found out yeah you said very much alive he was very much but the reason i asked you if you were an aficionado on anything is because i am an aficionado in one thing only what What's that? The late 80s, early 90s NHL hockey. Really? Yeah. Now, you know, I know you know your hockey. So, is there any way we can quiz? Do you know enough about that era of hockey to quiz his ability?

When is it again? Late 80s? Late 80s or early 90s. Basically. If you can specifically do the year 1989, that would help a lot. Just let me dig through my hockey cards here and get ready. No, I couldn't even. Nothing off the bat.

But you also, is it you or your brother that collects the hockey cards? We both did as a kid, and then I ended up selling them all for cigarettes. I took them in. I saw an ad in the thing that says, hey, we buy hockey cards? We both did as a kid and then I ended up selling them all for cigarettes. I took them in and I saw an ad in the thing that says, hey, we buy hockey cards because I needed money

for smokes. I took, I don't know, a billion dollar collection down there and sold it for $30. Honestly, it was like too huge. It was stupid.

I gave away like, I don't know, 20 Wayne Gretzky rookie cards, stuff like that. Really? Oh, Jesus. That was in my prime of buying.

Just for smokes? Yeah, I gave it up for smokes. It was only $30. I think it was you. You bought some cards and you were going to give it to your brother. And they were old with the mustache. Every player had that mustache? Yeah, so good.

No helmets? No helmets. A lot of the pictures were just taken, not on action. They were just in a thing. every player had that so good no helmets? no helmets a lot of the pictures were just taken not on action they were just like in a thing so they'd have their jersey on

but they'd see their 1970 slacks on yeah they'd still be wearing their pants it was perfect yeah old

you know old like 50 year old dudes but they were like you know 30 right back when people used to smoke and drink the only cards that I still have i used to collect cards but i was i never collected i collected some hockey cards and some baseball cards but i collected the full set of elf the

television show cards when you say you were in the set there was over 200 and you still have them don't you that my mom has them yeah your mom, he always says, my mom has them. I don't have them with me, but I do still have them. I have a lot at my parents' house, too. But if they touch them, you'll freak out. I would freak out. I would know instinctively that they touch them. No, I kept, like, I had a binder full of anything I thought was important,

and then just a box of just loose cards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I bought a binder at the flea market about six months ago, a complete set of, they were 1990, 1995, full set of professional bowling association bowling cards, and they are the best cards. I don't ever give them away. That was about the era

where there were cards for everything and the bottom just fell out of the market. Yeah, no, I had elf cards. I collected a lot of superhero cards. I believe I bought

a full, maybe two boxes of CFL cards. Oh, see, they weren't very popular. No, still not. You still could. Even if you had a Doug Flutie rookie. They were like cards you cut off.

Even as a rookie, he was 35 years old. They were like cards you cut off of a cereal box. That's how good CFL cards are. Gigantic, huge ones with bad scissor marks. They'd be like on some bad post cereal. That was my favorite, when it would be like special collector cards, and you had to cut them out. It was like the color on the one side and then brown on the other side with the black uh print

you know and i would buy cereal based on that i was easily swayed in the cereal i was a child good lord it uh for a prize toy i would eat something called uh brownos or something like that uh browno chunks oh yeah wait there's a good prize. Did you ever eat the cereal? It was a cereal. It's really only from my memory because I haven't had it since I was a kid called Cookie Crisp.

Yeah. Yeah? Did you have it? You punk. Take a breath. Take a breath. Take a breath. Relax.

Take a breath. Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp. You'd have brought it up. Yeah. No, honestly, because before, I mean mean now you can get any product anywhere from the states but when i was a kid they would advertise those but you could not

get them here and it absolutely would drive me nutty because i wanted uh cookie criss so bad in fact i remember uh i demanded we go to port angeles and victoria so that i literally got off the boat there walked into a safewayway, bought them, and then shoveled them in my face and went, these are crap. Yeah, they're crap. These are not cookies in any way, shape, or form. When you would see them in the commercial, I think what they did was they made like a huge cereal bowl and actually put real cookies in it and poured a gigantic thing of milk

on it. It is. But then when you ate them, they didn't look like a cookie. They were all lacquered. No, there were no cookies at all. Because we did the same thing in the summer when we went down to Spokane or Montana. We had the whole time, all I was thinking from the second I got the cookie crisp, I would be this close to cookie crisp.

It's because that wizard on the box puts a spell on you. It was a criminal. It was a cookie crook. It was a cookie crook. And a dogok and a dog yeah right that's what it was yeah i swear it was a wizard yeah the wizard was on alphabets i remember there was a yeah they had a creepy little wizard when he was a creepy little but we could get those in canada yeah yeah i loved him when i was but to this day i still i buy my brother lives in Seattle. So every time I go down, I stock up on peanut butter Twix and take five chocolate bars.

I get sugar babies. Sugar babies when I get down there. Have you ever had sugar babies? No. They're like little round caramel things. They're not fantastic, but you can't get them up here, so I buy them. Sugar babies, Milk Duds, which you can only get at the movie theater. It's awesome when you go down there and just look at all the different chocolate.

Do you get Red Vines? Anything. It's all the same stuff we have, just different names and groups. Red Vines, we don't have anything like Red Vines up here. That's like a huge licorice thing that you peel off the... Yeah, yeah. In Wayne's World 2, the Murphmobile had Red Vines. Yeah.

A dispenser. When I was a kid at baseball and i got a thing like they should have one cent licorice right back when you fucking penny would buy something and pardon my language there it uh don't worry about it at that moment but the uh you can get one cent licorice and you'd go up but they're all stuck together and uh like that gum that you had to pull strips off of remember uh big League Chew? Big League Chew, yeah. Somebody's going to give you a piece, you try and pull them off a piece

instead of giving them a chunk. But you would go there and order like 50 and the people's heads would just drop because they'd have to peel off 50 of the pieces and they'd get really angry at you if you ordered anything over five. But it was like a penny a piece of liquor. See, there used to be a place in Banff

that was called like Ye Olde Mountain Candy Shop or something and they had like that. You could buy still for two cents you could get a thing and I always would get I did it like four or five times in a row. I'd get sponge toffee and then always be immediately disappointed after I

ate it. Oh that's right. This is the thing. The inside of a crunchy bar. And that's the worst. Because you put it in and it just melts right away. Did you ever have to do... Have to. Did you ever go to Max or 7-Eleven where they had to make the Slurpee for you? Yeah.

You had to... And the Big Gulp. Circle K was the one that I went to. Can I get a mix? You had to approach them delicately, like, do you guys do that? We used to steal cigarettes when they did that because they'd have to turn their back to – when 7-Eleven's first game.

So they'd turn their back to pour your big gulp and Slurpee, and that's when cigarettes were right there. And that's when we all shoveled them in. One person – I mean, honestly, it was like nine of us. One guy's buying a large Slurpee, and we'd clean the entire rack of cigarette sets. That's awesome. Wow. You really cleaned up your act. I did.

Teens will be teens. And now they hide cigarettes under cloak and dagger so that you wouldn't even know they exist. Oh, but I know. Yeah. And yet, porno is still out in the open. But you know, here's a thing. Here's a note to anybody who's still

buying porno. I like that we're calling it porno. As opposed to? Porn. Okay. I don't know. Porno sounds more classy. Yeah, it sounds like I went to Europe and bought some porno. It's P-O-R-N-E-A-U-X. Play porno. Who buys porno anymore?

With the internet? Seriously? Who's renting porn? That's what I want to know. Moms and dads. You think? Why not? Yeah.

They don't understand. Let's hear it for porno. And a shakeout. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Are there any moms listening? No. Okay. let's hear it for porn to shake out happy mother's day happy mother's day are there any moms listening no okay whole new viewership so uh are we still we just kind of anything interesting happened to yourself this week dave um check my hair yeah it's grown back but there seems to be a patch missing. No?

No. Is that what I'm looking at? No, what you're looking at is how clean it looks. Okay. I haven't washed my hair in two weeks. Why? Yeah. I'm curious.

I was wondering why there's a piece of sugar crisp in it. My whole life, I washed it every day. Yeah. And I heard that's not so good for it so here's the thing and i also heard that if you uh just rinse it it'll start washing itself but the first two weeks it'll be really greasy but uh my first two weeks have been pretty uh great here's the thing i think and i'm only gonna go out on limb because i tried this experiment myself a few years ago under the advice of larry vaccios oh classy yeah and larry vaccio this is this is the full

story of how it goes larry vaccio sold me on this concept he was like don't wash your hair because it'll promote natural oils or whatever it'll clean itself is what he said and it'll stop you from going bald right and i was like was like, okay, sure. It sounds great. And his justification was, have you ever seen a bald homeless guy? And I was like, I guess I haven't. In that moment, I was like, maybe I haven't. I've never taken note of a bald homeless guy.

So I stopped washing my hair for probably about a month. And my hair got so fucking greasy. Did you rinse it? Yes, I took showers. Like, I... Like, what do you mean? Rinse it with water? Yeah.

Yes. No, I didn't just stop showering. Well, you can take a shower without putting your head under. No, I wasn't doing that. I was... Yeah, I was rinsing it, and it got so greasy. I was wearing a coffee shop at the time that my boss came in and said, if you don't wash your hair, you're fired.

Wow. Yeah. And so then I... Took her two weeks to do that? What's that? Two weeks to do that? A month. A month.

Well, I'm not done washing my hair forever. No, but here's the thing. The second that I washed my hair and then was walking out on the street, right away, the first thing I saw was a bald homeless guy. I was like, oh, okay. So it does happen.

I also would... You broke the curse. But I don't believe that. I think you shouldn't shampoo and condition every day, but you also have, you have some nice thick hair. You and Sean both... No, no, I have very fine hair. You don't.

No, no, no, no, I do. No, it's standing up on its own right now. I haven't washed it in two weeks. Here's the thing. No, Dave, you want to talk about thin hair. This up here, this little, this is elephant, baby elephant hair. And you and Sean both have. That's because it's going overtime on the beard.

It's like, put all going overtime on the beard. Put all your forcing in the beard. But you and Sean both have very thick hair. I do not have very thick hair. Okay, well, you have thickish hair. Not even. Well, I don't know if I'm sold on this concept of not shampooing. But I'm not... I will shampoo less, but it's an experiment for now.

Are we just talking the upper hair or the lower hair? Do you use separate shampoo on the lower hair? I shampoo, I condition. I use fruitier stuff down below. That's it. I want people to go, what, is that a bowl of fruit? Yeah, what is that, fruit salad down there?

I smell fruit. I would like to point out that today's show is brought to you by another hilarious joke beer. This one is called La Messagere. La Messagere. It's from Quebec. It's gluten-free for any celiacs listening. And it's made with, what is it, buckwheat and rice?

Rice, yes. Buckwheat and rice. And I thought the logo was Joan of Arc riding a horse because of the movie The Messenger starring Mila Jovovich as Joan of Arc. Yes, check it out. Made with Joan of Anarch. Although it appears she's transporting beer. Is she? There's a little barrel of something.

Oh, she is. She's transporting beer. So probably not Joan of Arc. Or that is the horse equivalent of the St. Bernard. Could be that. When I bought this, I went to the liquor store on Commercial Drive. Then I went to La Grotta Fromagia. Sandwich?

I had a delicious sandwich. Have you had a sandwich from there? I don't know. What was that? It's on Commercial and, like, what, second? First? Yeah, about there. The best? Almost too much flavor. Goddamn sandwiches.

I asked for everything on it, and that was too much stuff. It's everything. Everything, that's dangerous. There's a spider on this. I'm eating it. But then I went back to my car, which was parked at the liquor store, and there was like a 50-year-old guy. I wish I had stuck around and tried to overhear something, but he was –

You should have. It's kind of your job. He had $10 in his hand, and he was trying to get people to buy booze for him. But he was – Oh, no, but he'd probably been turfed from the liquor store, right? Or maybe – well, wouldn't you go to another liquor store, or would you just stick around? Or maybe it's like big again, where he doesn't realize that he's a 50-year-old man. He didn't look homeless, and when people wouldn't do it for him, it looked like he was cursing them out.

So I wish I had heard that. You should have taken his money and got him non-alcoholic beer. Life hates you, hobo. Beat it. Life hates you, hobo. Well, while we're on the topic of overhearing things, let's roll right into... Did you do your week of stuff? I don't know.

It doesn't matter. We've been... We'll record again soon. Yeah, totally. But let's roll into Overheard. Overheard! Alright, so Overheard. We'll throw

it to our guests to do the first Overheard of the podcast. Go ahead, John. What did you overhear? Now, normally I'm good with privacy, and I don't interrupt or listen to people's conversations like you guys do all the time. Right. But I did when I was at Safeway.

I just walked by these two people, and I caught their dialogue, and it made me laugh for weeks. It was kind of a white, trashy couple, and the girl grabbed some pudding. Did she call it pudding? white trashy couple and the girl had grabbed some puddin and she had she called put no no you know it was the the pre-made the jello type mm-hmm and she's like I want some pudding he's like we got pudding at home she's like I don't want the candy gotta make I want put a spoon in it and I walked by and I laughed all the way down I'm. I'm still angry that I didn't follow them around because they were only halfway in the store. And it was just one of those things where I'm like, oh, to enter their lives.

I want the kind you can put a spoon in. I want hickory sticks. It's not the kind you make at home. But it looked like they had to put something back to get it. It was one of those things. We can't get the soap if we get it. We got pudding at home. I want to put a spoon in.

That's okay. I'm off shampoo. She knew what was going to happen and what she would say. That's beautiful. I wish I had more from them. Yeah, because sometimes you do. You just hear a glimpse and you're like, I got things to do, but I wish I could just see your life. I took my card around the corner

and I couldn't stop it. Man, that's great. Dave? Got an overheard? Yeah, I do have an overheard. The other day, this could have gone probably into my get to know us, but

I went to go see the rock band Cake. How was it? It was good. I band Cake. Oh, how was it? It was good. I like Cake. Yeah, I like Cake too, but I for some reason I thought it was uncool to go to them. Why would you care about that?

I do care. You do? Yes. Are you afraid that people are going to call you uncool? Oh, God, yes. Wow. Because get used to it. That's what I say. But there's kind of a frat boy following for that band. Why?

Because of that one song? No, just because there seemed to be a lot of frat boys there. There was a lot of guys with caps on with sunglasses over the brim, and it wasn't even sunny that day. Yeah, that's a look that denotes frat boy. Sunglasses over the baseball cap. You have greasy hair. You should have just slid right in.

It's not greasy. You guys didn't say greasy when I axed you about it. No, you're right. It's shiny. Shiny with grease. No, well, I used It's shiny. Shiny with grease. But, no, I used to like Cake very much and I could play a lot of their

songs on the guitar. So you gave up on liking Cake because you thought it was uncool to like Cake? Yes. That's weird. Maybe I just felt that they weren't a relevant band anymore. But Vampire Weekend is?

Do I like Vampire Weekend? I don't know. I don't know what your qualifications of relevant. By your definition, the next winner of American Idol will be incredibly relevant. Will you be a fan? Remind me what my definition is? I don't know I'm asking you what your definition is.

I will be a fan if it's David Archuleta. I don't know what that means, but it sounds funny because I was thinking of David Arquette, which always makes me laugh. It's David Cox Archuleta. So yeah, we went to the cake show.

And you enjoyed it? Are you a fan now again of cake? Oh, no, I surely, thoroughly enjoyed it. Good. Did they sing all the hits? Yep. Short skirt, long jacket? Uh-huh.

That's kind of where they started falling off. So did they sing the early stuff? I'm a fan. I like their stuff. They haven't put out an album for a long time. No, they did a thing of B-sides recently. Oh, I haven't heard that. Or whatever.

All kind of sounds the same. She's Go to Heaven? Yep. Yeah? And what I like about them is that you don't have to be a good singer to sing along. No. It's good in-the-car music. You know Cake, right?

Yeah. Which is a hard, as a songwriter, it's a hard thing to accomplish, to write songs that anyone can sing. Yeah. So? Well, one thing that happened is I went to buy a beer at the show, and they had run out before Cake even started. Where was this?

At the Vogue. Oh yeah, not a surprise. Kind of closed, that place. Haunted. Oh really? Yeah. And what else happened? Oh, as we were walking out, I hit a wall. I hit a glass window. I thought it was an open door

and I walked right into a glass thing. But the one thing I did over here was, and I was listening before the show, and there was really nothing. Golden. Nothing golden. But between songs, someone yelled, more cowbell. Nice. Is that going the way of groovy baby or very nice? It's is that going the way of uh groovy baby or very nice that's it's probably

already gone that way yeah i think it's uh it's it's passed into that into the ether not right ah wow but uh yeah somebody yelled out more cowbell yeah and i do i that's why maybe cake is uncool is because i don't know if the audience I think a lot of people were like yeah good call I was like I could use more cowbell but the lead singer actually uses a vibra slap not a cowbell

really? oh there you go that's why they're playing the vogue I think big time cowbell equals big equals electric cowbells you know you gotta go you know blue oyster cult isn't playing the vogue right because they're busy at the theater for the performing arts um my overheard i hung out uh this past weekend down in Yaletown, which is not my stomping grounds at all. If anyone's not from Vancouver.

Yaletown is like the very yuppie-ish, loft-centric, rich part of town. And we went down to the, what do you call the big grocery store down there? Urban Fair. Urban Fair. It's super expensive. With the Proud Love Pizza. With the Proud Love Pizza. With the Proud Love Pizza. We've got to tell that story before we go on.

It makes me angry every time. Tell the story. It's funny. Phil Hanley, fellow comic, said he saw a Proud Love flavored pizza at Urban Fair. And I'm like, no way. That's ridiculous. He's like, no, I saw it. And I'm like, well, I'm going to go down there.

But he swore up and down that he saw it. He swore up and down that he saw it. And I said, okay, well, I'm going to go down there and make sure I find out what flavor a Proud Love pizza is. Because maybe I don't like the toppings and maybe it's not Proud Love quality there for me. Did you bring a camera with you too? I did.

I did bring a camera down and film it. And when I went there, I couldn't find the pizza. I thought it was like a pizza place, little slices, like it was a slice or something. And she's like, we don't sell them. I'm like, oh, that's weird. And I'm like, do you have any pizzas? She's like, yeah, in the frozen section so i wander over there and lo and behold there's a pizza there it said proud love for a half a second

it was like a stephen king thing like you just were blurry there and then i looked and it said proud love or i thought it said proud love then it said provolone provolone but it really looks like proud love honest to god if you look at Provolone and Proud Love at the same... Because it was that digital print, right? Yeah. Where everything's like block letters. So it did actually look... Because I saw it, and it did actually look like Proud Love, but it was Provolone.

It fooled me for a half second. For a split second once at the Superstore, I thought I saw a shumka pizza. Oh, not pizza, a pasta. But it turns out it just said fagatini. Another. The words, they look exactly the same. They look exactly the same.

So yeah, I was down in that neighborhood and I was sitting on a bench down by the water and literally I have about three pages worth of overheards. But they will be broken up over time. But have about three pages worth of overheards. But they will be broken up over time. But this was my favorite one of the day,

was this couple were walking their little dogs, and as they were walking, this person on a bicycle went past them, and the lady said to the guy, I've heard of a lot of dogs being killed by bicycles. And the guy, without missing a beat, goes, I know a Dachshund that was killed that way. Oh, my God. Yeah, no.

That is a scene down there. If you're in the Vancouver area and you have a Sunday, Saturday afternoon off, park yourself on a bench down in Yale Town, right by the water. You are going to see a non-stop procession of the most pretentious, hilarious, lots of rollerblades, lots of miniature dogs.

We should say that bicycles don't kill dogs. Unless you retrofit them, then they'll fucking mow them down. My dog was once hit by a bicycle, almost. There was a bicycle approaching. This grandpa we're talking about? Yeah. And it was at a park, and the bicycle came towards him.

And he should have known to get out of the way, But instead he ran right at it and stopped. And the bicycle stopped. And it stopped right on his hand. Like the woman ended up stopping on his hand. And it bled. I remember it because it was my birthday. That was my dad did that to our family dog quite a few years ago. He was trying to show my youngest brother how to skate backwards

and in doing so skated over the dog with with blades yes on ice you what was your dog doing on ice he was a rambunctious go-getter and uh here's the thing i want to do are we are we good are we overheards anybody else want to throw in another overheard? Bucket. Bucket. I heard your dad was sending a message to the kids that day, don't mess with dad. Dad, don't mess with dad.

I will put on the skates. I will skate up and down you. It was a horrible scene, too, because my dad came in and he was just like, we got to call the vet. Did your dog lose a paw? No, no, we got to call the vet. I was like, what? Did your dog lose a paw? No, no, no, no. He got a hook.

Dogs are... Just hear him skittering across the floor. Skitter, skitter, clank. Skitter, skitter, clank. Here's something that we haven't... I wrote these down ages ago, and as I was trying to put together, cobble together some sort of set list last night, I came across these, because it was a while ago I wrote these down ages ago, and as I was trying to put together, cobble together some sort of set list last night, I came across these, because it was a while ago I wrote these down,

something we haven't done for a while, which we did before was Take It or Leave It. Now we did Blanchett or Winslet. And Paxton or Pullman. Paxton or Pullman. I wanted to do Nolte or Busey. Do you want me to sing it? Yes, I would. I said it's Nolte or Busey.

It's Nolte or Busey or Do you want me to sing it? Yes, I would. I said it's naughty, oh Busey, it's naughty, oh Busey, oh naughty. Are you ready to play? Oh, have you come up with words? Yeah, I got a bunch. I got a bunch. Alright, so here's, this is how the game's played. I say, I say a couple things. It's not really

a game, because everybody loses. Yeah, everybody loses, including the listeners. But I say a couple things. It's not really a game. Everybody loses. Including the listeners. But I say a thing, and you tell me if it's more Nick Nolte or more Gary Busey. Alright? Here we go. Nebraska. Nebraska.

Go Nolte. I'm going to go Nolte, too. You are both correct. That's where Nick Nolte. You're going to go Nolte? I'm going to go Nolte, too. No reason. You are both correct. That's where Nick Nolte was born. He was born in Nebraska. Where was Busey born? I'm going to say California.

I don't have that information. Yeah, I think you're right, actually, because I think he went to Hollywood High. Okay. I'm making that up. Here's one. Was in the original pilot for Hawaii 5-0 He was in the original pilot Not the pilot that went to air

But he was in the original pilot for Hawaii 5-0 Nolte I'm gonna go Busey He's got that weird chin That one's going to Sean That's a Busey Yeah He's got that Hawaii 5-0 chin

They all have that weird chin on that show I don't know why Like the dimple chin? No, just that narrow When he was young, he had a narrow chin. No, you're right. You're thinking of Jake Busey. No. Speaking of which, don't we have his toenail clippings

in our house? We have Nick Nolte's. Yeah. In a bag. Did I tell that story before? Not on air. I've heard the story from numerous sources. Yeah, we did this show at a place that's now... Deviate? Closed, yeah. Deviate. Because place that's now closed. Yeah, DV8. Because it caught on fire.

It was a kitchen fire. It was terrible. We did, there was a Sunday show. Yeah. And it wasn't a very good show, but there was, one night there was like maybe three people in the audience. And for some reason the show

must go on because i wouldn't be the person i am today if i didn't do a show for three people right those years ago so they were doing the show and everybody's doing horribly and then this crazy guy walks in with a hat a big crazy hat and uh and a trench coat was he in a wheelchair no he was walking okay in the version i heard he was in a he wasn't in a wheelchair no No, he was walking. Okay. In the version I heard, he was in a wheelchair. He wasn't in a wheelchair. No, he was definitely walking. He walked in with an assistant who was holding him up. But they sat down, and this guy right away starts eating a sandwich.

He is brought in under his trench coat. He's trying to secretly eat this sandwich. They don't order anything. And while I'm on stage, I'm bombed. Of course I'm bombed. There's only three people in the place. But then I hear this weird noise

that's like a cucklip, cucklip. And I was like, what the fuck could that be? And Jai Harris, who was running the show at the time, I believe, came up to me after the show

and he's like, that's fucking, that's Nick Nolte. That's Nick Nolte. And I was like, that's that's Nick Nolte. That's Nick Nolte. And I was like, that's not fucking Nick Nolte. And I went over, and I looked right at his face, and I'm like, oh, no, it is most definitely Nick Nolte. And he was in the middle of clipping his fingernails at the table with a giant pair of fingernail

clippers, which he then left on the table, and he took, he left all his fingernail clippings, Jai Harris scooped them up in a plastic bag I still have them to this day but somebody pointed out when I told this story recently they were like so he was so cavalier that he would leave behind a giant pair of fingernail clippers but he was too cheap to buy

a sandwich at the establishment when I was in a rock band we had one song uh it was a very good song it was called danger the movie uh we were an instrumental band so we could give songs any name because they really had no narrative uh and we always pictured that nick nolte would be the the lead character in the movie called Danger the Movie. Sounds about right.

Lieutenant Frank Danger. Harvey Danger. Something Danger. Lieutenant Harvey Danger. And we originally wanted to have Nick Nolte soundbites in the song. Why didn't you do that? We couldn't sit through enough of his movies. Oh, really?

We watched Blue Chips. Of course. Blue Chips is the number one that comes to mind. And then we watched Mulholland Falls. Not to be confused with Mulholland Drive. Mulholland Falls. Yeah, what's the... It had... I can't give you.

Okay. It's an old-timey... It takes place in the... Yeah, it takes place and he's wearing a fedora. I've seen it. But which one was which? Mulholland Drive was the David Lynch one? Was the David Lynch one, yeah.

Okay. Mulholland Falls had John Malkovich and Jennifer Connelly topless. And she really has a beautiful set of breasts. Hey, good for her. Yeah, let's hear it. As does Nick Nolte now. And forget my point. Anyway. Let's bust it back yeah amen brother here we go divorced

multiple times i think they're both both is correct good call good call on the trick question i couldn't see that going any other way here's an interesting considered for the role of hans solo in star wars oh oh, Nick Nolte. Yeah, I'd say Nolte. Did you know that? It's the Patton Oswalt joke. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, he does a great bit about what Nick Nolte would be like as Han Solo.

Oh, as Han Solo. Oh, that's really funny. Oh, hell, Chewbacca. Then he clips his toenails. Ka-chunk. Okay, who said, if you feel you have a film that's valid, you stick your ass on the line? Wait, who's who? Can I get the mix-up?

Nick Busey. Busey. Busey? Gary Busey? How many of you are Busey? G. Buse. Both incorrect. Nolte.

Nolte. Okay, who said, if you take shortcuts, you get cut short? Busey. Are you sure? I'm going to say Busey half the time. I'm going to go with Busey on this one. That was Busey, correct. That was a thrilling round, I think, of Nolte or Busey.

Because I think they look identical. In my mind, they look quite similar. I think they used to. I think mind, they look quite similar. I think they used to. I think Nolte hasn't aged well. Busey, though, has aged beautifully. He's got it all figured out. He's the Ralph Macchio of Busey's. Have you...

I was actually thinking, one time on the bus, speaking of clipping toenails, I saw a gentleman clipping his fingernails. Yeah. And it was probably the grossest thing I've ever seen anyone do on the bus, except another time I saw someone eating corn on the cob. On the bus? On the bus. I don't know if I, is that true? Yes, it was, I think it was.

Were you on a bus in mexico no it was there's like a a night market in chinatown that the guy had brought corn on the cob from oh yeah okay so was it all buttery and yeah it was super gross and the bus was packed uh i'm just wondering if you guys have any other gross things you've seen on the bus oh tons i've probably done some of them you hate the bus i know who doesn't well no but like there's you know there's a level of hate on the bus where i'm like i hate it but i ride it every day you have a car so i know you don't ride it all the time you're like and i got no place to go but you don't own a bus pass oh god no no i own a bus pass i know that there was a brief period when you didn't your car you were in between cars,

your car was in the shop, and you had to ride the bus a couple times, and it was like a horrific experience. It's like a germy, and people coughing on there. Oh, yeah. During the winter, it's about the worst possible place to be. On a wet day, it is a terrible place to be. The God's honest truth, the worst thing I've ever seen on public transit wasn't in Vancouver. It was in Calgary. And this was when I was about 16, 17.

I was on the C train, which is like the Sky train except it doesn't run anywhere. Is it C, the letter C? Yeah. Okay. Not as in the C. No, because there is no C in Calgary. So I was on the train. It was kind of like the last train of the night-ish,

and there was a guy and a girl that were getting kind of makey-outy, and then a little bit more than makey-outy, and then kind of he was... How do you say this motion without sounding disgusting? You're doing a. Third base? Third base. It was a pointing.

It was a. Yeah. It was a. Well, but it was less of a. Yeah. Third base. Pipping your hand in a honey jar. Third base.

And I was only three seats away. And I saw it all. Oh, wow. Yeah. And that was the grossest thing. That guy. That's why I told you to get a camera phone. I got it all. I figured it all. Oh, wow. Yeah, and that was the grossest thing. That guy. That's why I told you to get a camera phone. I got it all figured out.

This was long before the days of the camera phone. This was when you could do that kind of thing. It wouldn't end up on YouTube. It'd be funny if they're sitting on either side of you while doing this. Seats. Just having to sit in the back seats. It's a really crowded bus, and there's only two seats, and they're on either side of you. They're reaching over me.

That's what happens on the trains. It was the original reach around. It was phenomenally disturbing to see. Yeah, I think that would qualify to me as the grossest. I think that beats corn on the cob. Oh, God, yeah. Have you I think that beats corn on the cob. Oh, God, yeah. Have you ever had the Mexican corn on the cob? I had it at Bumbershoot.

It was the best thing ever. What makes it Mexican? What's that? Is it like a dirty Sanchez? You know, Mexican corn on the cob. I gave her the Mexican corn on the cob. I supermaned that hoe. Why did you wipe this on my lip?

Is it like a corn dog? Have you seen the movie with Jack Black where he's the wrestler? Nacho Libre. You know where they're eating the corn? Like that. That prepared Mexican style. You know I don't

remember the corn eating scene. Look into it. Because it was the thing that made me interested when I was at Bumbershoot to go eat corn. It's theater of the mind. Describe it. It is, it's a corn on the cob, and it's covered in, first with butter, and then they put, like, sour cream on it, and then they put, like, chili on it, and they give it to you, and you, it's the best. It is the best goddamn thing. It's so goddamn juicy.

God damn it. Yeah, no, Bumbershoot this year. Dial it up. Corn on the cob. There's lots of good foods at Bumbershoot. Oh, man. Shortage of pigging out there. You gonna go to Bumbershoot this year?

I doubt I'll go to Bumbershoot. Maybe we'll arrange something. Wink. Maybe we will. You got nothing else to arrange. I got nothing else to arrange. You gotta to wash your hair by then, though. Yeah. No, I will not be taking a trip.

You will not notice. It's so short. You're right. Grease is the leave-in that I believe in. Grease is the word. I don't remember. I don't get that reference. Is that a reference?

Do you not get that reference? Yes, I do get that reference. I don't really understand your comedy i don't i don't really do comedy it's theater of the mind um we'll be right back and we're back awesome break um so yeah that i think i think we're gonna call this a podcast day this was pretty, I enjoyed myself. This was a good time. Pretty flow and fun. That was good.

Yeah. I think Sean could have brought it harder. I could have. But if you actually want to see Sean bring it harder, you should go see him plug it. Plug it. Yeah, well, bring it harder is obviously, you have to come to my home show. But I'm at Yucks this week, if anyone wants to pay $17 for comedy when they can watch me free everywhere else. But yeah, I'm at Yucks this week with Jane Stanton, who is always a bit of a troublemaker.

Her parents are going to be there tonight. Damn it, why do I do this? I know, they're going to be there tonight, and I'm going to make fun of them. I'm not allowed to go. Really? Yeah. She's from North Van, right?

Yes. I've never seen her. They've never seen her perform. My parents have never seen me perform, as far as I know. Really? Yeah, I didn't tell my parents. Why do you do that? I don't tell my friends or family that I do comedy.

Your brother knows. Yeah, he knows. Oh, they know now. S-word for poo. Shout out to David's brother. He's going to listen to it and he's going to appreciate that. I didn't... Well, to this day, I don't want them to come see me.

But it's bound to happen, though. I had to perform a show and my grandmother was there so imagine that imagine how imagine you doing your fucking a bus driver bit then or fucking a milkman i don't do that bit anymore really it's a little pedestrian um pedestrian is how you pronounce it uh but uh yeah my parents actually found out uh i do stand-up comedy because i have a cousin named dave shumka uh who that's lazy of your family all his all his friends are detectives too that's the weird part all his friends found him on the internet and were like you're doing stand-up comedy and uh eventually it got around that it

must be me so uh i actually have a story about a different dave shumka i'll save that for the next episode i think that's uh where it's gonna go hey everybody dave do you have anything to plug i don't i rarely do all right well uh if anyone wants to see me play basketball for the first time in 50 years... Saturday at where? Saturday I'll be at Trout Lake Community Center. I will not be in attendance. I'll be in Victoria. If anyone wants to see Graham this weekend,

he'll be in Victoria. I'll be in Victoria with my grandmother, who loves his comedy. Indeed. Thanks everybody for listening, and please come back and join us again at Stop Podcasting Yourself.