Stop Podcasting Yourself - Stop Podcasting Yourself - ep.8

Episode Date: April 27, 2008

Comedian Adam Pateman joins the boys for some in-depth discussions on the science of Vicki Gabereau and Bo Jackson.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hey everybody and welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself, episode 8 in an epic series of 1200? Yeah, I admire your commitment. Yeah, that's it, when 1200 is up, this podcast is done. My name is Graham Clark and with me, as always, the very hilarious Mr. Dave Shumka.

How's it going, Dave? I'm great, and yourself? I'm pretty good. Super. And sitting with us today, our guest in Dave's office studio, hilarious comedian and science world wizard, Adam Pateman. How's it going, fellas? Good.

How are you? I'm excellent. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the show. Awesome to have you. Thanks for having me. Dude, thanks for coming out. No problem. Thanks for coming early. That was good of him. Yeah to the show. Awesome to have you. Thanks for having me. Dude, thanks for coming out.

No problem. Thanks for coming early. That was good of him. Yeah, no problem. I got off. I showed up late. I got off work late. It was okay.

No one needs to know that. Totally. So, as is our way, let's start with a little get to know us. Get to know us. Let's start with our guest. I think that's the right thing to do. Yeah, what's up with you? What's new with Adam Pateman? Well, a whole lot of stuff has been going on today. I had a pretty good day. I had to do what's called an on-the-road science world show, and I had to go to Sur and like teach a bunch of kids about physics in a zany way what's the zany way uh explain because a lot of people maybe have never

been to science world before to see the demonstrations that is true i know i haven't well what we do with science world is we uh well it's just like you're teaching kids about uh you know when things spin they stay stable and uh so we did like a lot of that it's really colorful really kid-friendly boring stuff yeah i can't i can't swear it sucks but uh it was it was awesome about today is that like we have to do this thing where um we have a uh like this little miniature cannon and i put like a bunch of what's called calcium carbide in it and if you mix it with water and then you like hit it with a flint like you there's this like thing that you like you smack and then it makes the gas inside of it explode and shit and uh yeah that was coming yeah i dropped a beer but it was dory was adam even thinks he's camping so anyways i made this thing explode and

uh apparently because it was like right outside of surrey central station right so it made like this big like gunshot noise. Everybody pulled out their guns. Well, sort of. Apparently, I didn't know this until after the show, but one of the tech guys was like, yeah, five cops ran in after the part of the explosion, and they

had their hands on their guns on the side and stuff. Yeah, yeah. That was pretty exciting. That is pretty exciting. Actually, I's crazy. So that is pretty exciting. Actually, I think he's probably going to top any. I don't know if you blew any shit up today, but I didn't. No, not today. Is that?

You got more than. You said there's a lot of stuff going on. That sounded like one example of many. That was one thing that happened today. It was like a typical day on the road. But just in general, what's happening with Adam Payton? Well, I got to host your show, what, two weeks ago now? Yeah.

That was fun. That was good. Thank you for letting me do that. I heard nothing but good things. I heard you were good, too. It was excellent the week before that, as well. Adam was equally as good, and he packed the place. I didn't.

Yeah, well, that's okay. I made a Facebook event invite. I saw that. You guys are awesome. I knew a Facebook event invite. I saw that. You guys are awesome. I knew I was leaving things in good hands. We'll see if there's still a show next week. Can't wait to hear about that. Well, we'll...

I don't want to talk about it too much. Maybe it's an off-the-air thing. Yeah, maybe. Not that we're technically on the air. No, that's true. We're not actually on the air. Or, does that sentence even make sense? Because you not no one's ever on air no why is radio more legitimate air than a podcast because it's broadcast through the air airwaves penetrates

uh science world teaches about it yes airwaves am i right uh i think it's radio waves but this isn't radio waves this This is like, what? Ones and zeros? You know what this is? This is fascinating. Stop that. Okay. It's a good podcast.

All right. Dave Shumka, what's shaking with you? I had a bunch of little things happen this week. Well, let's hear about them. Well, the biggest thing that happened to me was I cut my hair. Yes, you did. Did you cut it yourself? No.

Okay. Thank you, though. No, but that's what you just said. I cut my hair. And so I thought it was going to be a dramatic thing. Like, this is the first time you cut your own hair. And the barber cut it very short. It's very short.

And it's almost military. Yeah, I hadn't intended that. No. But I usually go to this girl, a hairdresser. And you went to a barber, didn't you? Uh-oh. But the hairdresser is great, and she is, like, I hate getting my hair cut because I don't like talking to people and don't like explaining what I want. And the hairdresser, she really, like, I've gone to her for about three years, and she got me right away. Yeah, yeah.

like i've gone to her for about three years and she got me right away yeah yeah once you once you lock into a good hairdresser like i had a guy for a while and then he just skipped town and i was devastated i think i i didn't get my haircut for like nearly a year after that because he was he was the guy that understood like you said you just sat down he knew what to do it was never too short it was never too long it wasn't shitty yeah he was good you know. It was never too long. It wasn't shitty. Yeah. He was good, you know, and there was no bullshit conversations that I didn't want to have. And I followed this girl from one place to another. Yeah, yeah. She was that good. Adam Payne.

She moved from one salon to another salon. You've never found a good hairdresser? No, I did. I found a guy named Orhan, and he went from Ladner all the way to Vancouver, and I had to go out and find this guy. Oh, so you followed him, too? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I would have followed my guy to Alberta,

but he's in Alberta. I would have, but... But it's in Alberta. It's not realistic that I would go to Alberta to get my hair guy. But I found another guy. It's like moving on to a new relationship. I found somebody else.

So I had to go to this barber. The reason I couldn't go to this barber. The reason I couldn't go to my hairdresser is she's a little out of my price range at the moment. And so I went to my barber. Not my barber. A barber. But technically you're a barber at this point. Yeah.

On a technical level, now you're a barber. He is a French man. And he... Is it at like an old timeyy barber shop it's at uh eighth in maine oh okay i know at barber barber mcgee's yeah and he mumbles more than i do and so we had some trouble understanding each other and thus my hair is very short yeah it's very short all right he said uh what do you want? And I said, you know, on the sides, I'd like it short.

I want to look like a 1950s football player. That's what he heard. He understood short as four, which is a setting on the Clippers. No way. Is that really what happened? That's not a barbering. And he said, four? Sure.

Because I don't know the settings on the Clippers. But that's asinine for him to assume that don't know the settings on the Clippers. But that's asinine for him to assume that you would know the settings on a Clippers. A lot of people do. They're like, just give me a three? Yeah. Why couldn't they just do that themselves? They could save a lot of money by buying Clippers and just knowing their number. Yeah, but then you need a second mirror.

Yeah. That's really hard to come by, too. Yeah. If you break both of those, 14 years bad luck. No, I think it's uh exponential really yeah it's 49 years bad luck well or whatever the power exponential is um so you're not gonna do that again i guess i probably will unless i get another 40 bucks but here's what you gotta do because this is what i did when i the guy that i had

before you have to find somebody who's like starting their own thing like out of their house because that's where it's cheap and they're also awesome but they've given up on the working on a salon because you have to rent those chairs and it's expensive and it's kind of shitty so if somebody's like i'm cutting hair out of my apartment or whatever you're probably going to get the best haircut that you can. It's probably going to be like $20 because they can't set salon prices. But I'm not. The reason I couldn't get a good haircut from this guy is because I'm not good at talking to strangers.

But you don't know that this guy's capable of a good haircut. What does a barber do? He cuts hair, but if he's old school then like guys only had like two different haircuts yeah i asked until like the 70s or like i asked for the junior executive and you got it but you got the junior executive circa 1957 i got the junior gi you got the elvis in the army i got got Private Benjamin Wait that was a woman It's long and blonde Yeah

That's the thing that didn't make sense about that movie Don't women have to get their hair cut short If they're in the military I don't know Jane did didn't she She got buzzed Pauly Shore did Pauly Shore's not a woman though

But Private Benjamin and also Bill Murray in Stripes didn't have to shave his head at all. They just let him have his hair exactly the length that it was. But that wasn't really the military that was a Bill Murray movie. Well, it was a movie. I know, but we're debating.

Well, we're debating. Wait, wasn't Private Benjamin where she carries around the troop from Beverly Hills? Oh, wait, that's Troop Beverly Hills. Never mind. And I don't think she carried them around. I don't know what that means. Is that a movie?

Maybe it was Shelley Long, not Goldie Hawn. It rhymes. We're doing great. Hey, Graham. What's up, Dave? How was your week? Here's the thing. Jumping off on the Goldie Hawn thing, I had one of those days today.

Have you ever had a day where you turn on the TV and you just kind of leave it on while you're doing whatever? And then you go out and then you come back in and then you go out. And somehow, through some weird vortex, the same movie is playing in the exact same place at all like different points during the day because that's what it was almost famous was playing like on a loop on much music all day yeah they do that sometimes where they do like a like a not a tournament no what is that called a marathon okay it was an unreal tournament they do that with ferris bueller's day off like it's so popular that they put it on TBS all day long. And then there's battles against each other.

Like a tournament. And then it goes up against Christmas Story. I love the idea of an almost famous tournament. Versus Ferris Bueller's Day Off. But it was that scene where on the bus, they're all on the bus singing the Tiny Dancer song. I saw that four times today. Lucky.

Because I've been up since like 7.30. Why did you leave the house? I did. But every time I came back in, I just left the TV on. And when I come back in, it was that scene again. And then I'd leave and come back in. That's what that is. Yeah, it was fucking crazy.

Do you leave the TV on when you leave the house? Not all the time. But my roommate is currently on the East Coast. And there's been four or five break-ins in my building in the last six or seven months. And so I don't like to leave the place unmanned completely. So I leave a light on and the TV on. And kill Mother Earth. And I put a dummy in the window.

Screw you, one-time challenge. I'll call it, I'll get it. I'm alone, and then it's connected to a record player, and it dances in front of the train set. Yeah, all these cardboard cutouts. Oh, he must be home. He must be home and dancing incessantly. With the wet bandits. Yeah, the wet bandits are not going to be able to turn on the faucets for this one.

Oh, by the way, can I just say, I was watching Home Alone 2 the other weekend. It was on late at night. And that movie, the first one made very little sense, but the second one was completely devoid of any logic. Yeah, it was a kid all of a sudden, too. That was the third one. But the second one, they go to New York, and he checks into a hotel, and the concierge thinks that something...

Was it Rob Schneider? No, Rob Schneider's in it, but Tim Curry was there. Oh, yeah, in New York. It was so fucking... So, that's what I got up to this week. I leave the TV on all day because I have a dog. And if he hears something outside, he'll start barking. So I leave the TV on to kind of create a white noise.

That'll kind of calm him down. Yeah, to distract him. But I came back the other day and on... I forget. I think it was Guiding Light was on in the middle of the day. And it is the worst soap opera. I can't believe it's still. I don't know if that. Could it still be on?

It looks like it's just a student film. They just have a bunch of equipment that's been volunteered. And it's all out on location and it looks like it was produced for Shaw Cable 4. That's the thing about if you ever have a day when you don't when you're not at work

and you watch a show like that like Guiding Light or Regis or The View I feel awful about myself. When I'm at home and that stuff's on, I feel really terrible. Anyways. I hear you.

Anyways, so yeah. So that's pretty much what went on. I think I did another show this week, but I don't really. I did two shows this week that were both canceled because people didn't show up. Wow both canceled because people didn't show up. Wow.

Because the audience didn't show up. And I'm starting to wonder if maybe it's me. No, I think it's the shows that you've been booked on. Okay. What was the one? I know what the one was. What was the other one? I don't know.

One night of the week. I did last Saturday. Yeah, I know what that one is. And then last night, Friday. I don't know what that one is. It's okay. We're not allowed to say then last night, Friday. I don't know what that one is. It's okay. We're not allowed to say the name of the show? I don't know the... We don't want to be slanderous on the show!

It's not good for the show if we mention that no one showed up. But it didn't used to be a Friday show. It used to be a Saturday show, and that might be the reason why. I'm flummoxed. But I think it also could be that i'm not funny oh dave let's uh let's plow right ahead you want to what do you want to get into now i think uh

uh precedent is set that we usually slip into overheard all right All right. Let's lay down a big old hot patch of overheard. Let's start a sentence and then put ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Let's do overheard. Let's. Okay.

You leave that in because that was funny. All right. All right. Overheard. Overheard. Adam Pateman, you know the segment. You know how it rolls. Oh, yeah. You want to start this off? Sure. What did you overhear? overheard overheard adam pateman you know you know the segment you know how it rolls oh yeah

do you want to you want to start this off sure what did you overhear um well does it does it count if it was like a month ago everything everything all right did you overhear it i did over here it counts i was i was like part of it as well but then it became an overheard but here's how it goes i was uh this is another science world thing, though. And kids are awesome at overheards. Yeah. Oh, God, dude. You must have a pocket full of overheards. I have a few. Children are silly.

Let's just say they're silly. Yeah, kids are silly. I was teaching a bunch of kids about sound. Like, sound is vibration. What is the difference between low pitch and high pitch? Why do you say that in that voice? If it's airwaves. Well, this is different.

These are sound waves. Why do you say it in such a silly voice? Do the kids like it when you say things in a silly voice? Yeah, if I change my pitch as I'm talking about pitch, then it's more interesting. I'm sure. It's kind of confusing over here. That's why they're always staring at the wall.

Okay. But here's what i was okay they'll start playing double dutch when you're talking we're tired of his craziness which you guys bring you're not far off but i was teaching this i was like they came in they were sitting down i was waiting for a bunch of other kids to show up and i was trying to kill time with these kids so i was like i don't know how it got brought up but i asked the the class if they'd ever heard of Madonna. I know.

And I was like, do you know who Madonna is? And they were like, pretty much unanimously like, no. But this one kid was like, really? Really? Yeah, exactly. Like, you would think that's crazy. But yeah, no kids had any clue who she was because they were born in 1999. So anyways uh like one kid was just like no like really loud and then so of course like one kid decided he would make that kid look like an idiot so he's

like oh my god you don't know who madonna is you don't watch the sun silk commercials yeah but he seriously said this like you don't know who madonna is he's like a baseball player like i was just looking at this kid. I'm like, you're wrong. Look at all the parents in the room. They're like, what an idiot. But if you showed that kid a picture of just Madonna's arm, he'd be like, that is a baseball player's arm. Because she has abnormally muscular and a Kabbalah bracelet. Actually, she was a baseball player in a league of their own.

That is true. Maybe he saw a league of their own. Thought she was a man. You guys know who Rosie O'Donnell is? Yeah, from a league of their own. Baseball player. They're all unanimous in that. Old-timey baseball player.

That's also where Gina Davis really shined. Lead role. I liked Gina Davis in that. Me too. I liked Gina Davis in general. I could do with more Gina Davis. I think she's an unsung uh star i think i don't think a lot no it's crazy about gina davis is she got tired of acting and unlike so many actors

that just would get tired of acting take drugs and not take up she took up archery and became like a huge archery champ how do you know that oh everyone knows that dude it's huge no no it's common knowledge yeah How did that get around, though? She almost made the Olympic team that time. Yeah, she was huge. I did not know that. She was never huge. She's pretty tall. And that helps?

I think. Longer arms. Have you ever done archery before? Short arms do not help you in that arena. Well, I wouldn't know. I've always had huge long arms. I was done on Zelda. Not in speed, but in appearance.

What's your favorite exhibit at Science World? My favorite, let me tell you. Giant Hamburger? Oh, Giant Hamburger. That was the movie theater inside it. The thing where you, I think it's based on Soundwaves, where you talk, you whisper at one end, and then like 50 feet away, there's someone who can hear it. Is that when you're out?

It's gone now. They took that out in like 2002. Wrong. No. It's true. No, I did it at that. There's a thing and then it would like vibrate across the room, but it's gone now. I did it at that science show.

Yeah, it's like the one thing. Oh, that thing. The concave. The whisper dish. Because there used to be this other thing. It was like this big spine that went across the room. You talk on one end and you could see your voice vibrate across the room. Oh, no, no, no.

Now that's gone. But the whisper dish, yeah, that's still there. Yeah, I like that. What across the room. Oh, no, no, no. Now that's gone. But the whispered issue, that's still there. Yeah, I like that. What's your favorite? Oh, God, I hate that place, though. For the record, I don't hate science work. But I don't know. This is all on the record.

What's your favorite? Well, nostalgically, I like the giant tree that you can get inside of. Because I remember being in it when I was six. And now I'm 23. And it's like nothing has changed. That's pretty cool. You can get up in it. Except it's a lot now I'm 23, and it's like nothing has changed. That's pretty cool. You can get up in it. Except it's a lot tighter, probably.

Yeah, it's more scooch. It's more scoochy. The outgoing message on your voicemail, that was recorded somewhere at Science World, was it not? No, no, no. That was my downstairs roommate. He did something on his computer where he modulated his own voice. Oh, okay. I thought that was just a...

Sorry. No. It's a robot-sounding voice. Have you ever called this voice? Yeah. I called it today. My dad got so mad at me for having that. He's like, that's not a very adult-sounding answering machine.

You should change it. How are the pits? Good? The pits are good. Do you ever have a day where you forget whether you put on deodorant or not every other day that's what i call tuesdays thursdays saturdays and sometimes mondays um do you have a favorite exhibit oh remember what i did yeah giant hamburger okay is that your favorite exhibit it just plays movies did you watch the movies no i just like it I just like it. It's a giant hamburger. It reminds me of a big hamburger.

For those listeners that aren't from Vancouver, they're going to be like, what the hell? There are no listeners from not Vancouver. And if there are. Are there? We could widen the world. Can we talk for one second? Can we go skew for one second and say that we got, the other day, our first bit of fan mail ever in the history of this show?

Yeah, sure. Why not? Can we not? Technically, I've gotten emails. Well, you never told me. From Abby. Oh, well, yeah. I've seen that she commented on.

But this is from a non-Abby, non-related-to-us person. Someone who must have found it on their own. Found it on their own and listened to it. And so big shout out to Sarah Bino. And that's right, people who are listening, send us an email and your birthday and we'll say hello on your birthday. That's our guarantee to you. Or your birth week.

I'll call you on your birthday. We started a Facebook group this week. We didn't? Didn't Abby do it? Yeah, Abby started it. Good for her. this week and we didn't didn't abby do it uh yeah abby started it good for her and then i invited a bunch of people to it and now our listenership has i don't know quintupled more really i haven't even sent out the the thing on my i'm waiting that's gonna be the next skyrocket for a good episode

dude this is it this is the one'm feeling juiced about this one. I'm going to send it out. I was waiting to see what the maximum build was we were going to get off the first round, and then I'm going to fire it out. I'm like a 500 friend buddy. I'll knock that shit out of the park. I didn't even send it to all my friends. I just sent it to the people who I think would have been interested. I think it's time now just to

send it out to 100%. Just fucking see who catches you don't know you don't know it's true it's true there are some can you do like everybody all at once like yeah probably get them all but some of those people are related to me yeah okay he doesn't yeah yeah yeah uh what did i want to say something about science world when we we science world puts on a comedy show still uh they were they were for a while i'm i don't know it's kind of up in the air now there might be one in june all right well i'm not uh pressuring you to get on it yet uh but science world puts on a comedy

show and we went there and uh graham and i were booked on the show and we had a little time to spend before the show and explore science world and there was uh there was one one thing i know what thing yeah i know that was about uh it was about robot or um limbs like uh extra limbs oh you mean the message board yeah amputated limbs this is like an overheard. Oh, yeah. Is this going to be an overheard? No. Oh, that's good, though. Someone put up a Post-it note? Yeah, amputated limbs.

And I guess the people had been asked to write if they know anyone who has an amputated limb or an artificial limb. And someone was like, glass eye. And someone had written, my grandpa's fake leg. And someone wrote, wide set robot vagina. Yeah, we collect those because every day we have like five or six ones that are like,

I'm a flying dick. Because they're all like 14-year-olds that come through. So like every single one of them will write like the same dirty thing. And then so we have like, we have a wall of flying dicks. We have a wall covered in like pictures of like penises and stuff oh yeah give a kid a marker yeah exactly but teach

a kid to mark a hill of cocks for a lifetime dave what did you over here uh this was actually today i was watching the uh pre-game show for the Montreal Canadiens versus the Philadelphia Flyers. And it was lights out. It's me hawking it up. It was lights out in Montreal before the game, trying to get the fans pumped. And I overheard the music playing in the background. And it was Phil Collins in the air tonight. In the air tonight!

Yes. I do feel in the air tonight yes i do and i was like ah that's so that's why is that how's that gonna get anyone pumped and then the drums kick in yeah anyway i guess you had to be there which song is it which song is it? Which song is it? How does that song go? I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh, okay. I know the song. Oh, no. We have a very beautiful voice. We do. That was like you were totally focused on that, too.

It was very earnest. Ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-bum-ba-bum. I hear... What did you overhear there, sweetheart? I'll tell you this. Uh, I'll tell you the one that I overheard the other day. I went down, I was at, uh, the CBC radio studio.

Why? I did an interview with, uh, local, and I guess Canadian legend, Vicki Gaborow. Ooh, the row. The row, the gabst, the gabberabadidum. No one calls her that. Vic Gab. Vic Gab. Vic Gab. She's awesome, first of all.

That was probably the most fun I've ever had being interviewed because she's delightful. She's still on the radio? No, she's retired, but she was filling in for somebody for a show called The Sunday Edition. So I did an interview with her. What day is that on? I think it's been moved to monday um i was in there and they had like a little i guess maybe it's an everyday thing at cbc but they had like a little kind of uh buffet thing set up right by the entrance where i guess you know just crew members would come and grab a donut or whatever and uh it was one of

those things where somebody was trying to make a joke to his buddy that would have been fine if the the noise had just kind of continued around you know if everybody just kept talking and the phone kept ringing but for some reason it was that moment where everything just died for a second and he said it just a little too loud because i was in the reception area and i just heard the one guy come up and say oh are there any donuts left and then the other guy saying to him in a very kind of joking way is i don't know you fat fuck but but it was at that moment where everything died down and i was like oh jesus i shouldn't have heard that. The Crown Corporation.

So that was the other day. But I wanted to tell you one from Toronto when Sean Proudlove and I were on the subway. Future guest Sean Proudlove. Future guest Sean Proudlove. We were on the subway, and this guy got on the train with this girl, and he was decked out head to toe in boston celtics regalia and he and the girl both had uh green painted fingernails uh-huh for some reason um anyways he obviously spent the afternoon with her she's trying to get her in bed and at one point uh she's not paying attention to him at all and And she says to him, yeah, I'm listening.

I'm just putting on my lipstick. And then turns away from him. And I'm like, dude, just give up now. And then two stops later, she got off. And he's stuck now with green fingernail polish on his fingers. But then a group of four girls get on, and he decides this is round two. He is not going to give up on his uh search for vagina so they're all talking and then he decides to interject in their conversation and this is one

of my favorite things when somebody interjects with something totally wrong it's the bestest most hilarious so at one point they're trying to figure something out and he interjects and goes i think what you guys are talking about is Leonard Skinner. And then the girl goes, actually, we were talking about Leonard Cohen. And it was so funny that I was standing up and I fell over on the train and made an ass out of myself. But it was really the funniest thing. When you started with Leonard Skinner, I was going to jump in with Leonard Cohen. Like, that's the craziest thing that could happen.

But that's actually what she said. Wow. Actually, we were talking about Leonard Cohen. Going back to your earlier thing about Vicki Gaborow. Yeah. That reminded me of a couple of years ago at the Vancouver Comedy Festival. years ago at the vancouver comedy festival there's always a bunch of um of of american comics who preface all their jokes with uh do you guys have that up here yeah right yeah yeah yeah because they don't know what products we have in canada and uh then zach galifianakis went on at the end

of the night it was at the tom lee theater, yeah. And he had lived in Vancouver, and he was making fun of all the other comedians for not knowing the local references. Good for him. And he has this joke that my girlfriend looks a little bit like Charlize Theron and a lot like Patrick Ewing. Right. And he changed it to my girlfriend looks a little bit like Charlize Theron

and a lot like Vicky Gabbro. Vicky Gabbro. And I bet you'd kill it. Gangbusters. This is the thing, though, I know as a fact, because I remember talking to Zach, he was a huge fan of the Vicky Gabbro show. Yeah, because he would be filming that TV show he was on.

He'd be in his trailer, and that's when Vicky Gabbro was on. It was on at like 11 o'clock in the morning. And so he'd watch it every trailer and that's when vicky gabbro was on it was on at like 11 o'clock in the morning and so he'd watch it every day and ended up like being like a big fan and i actually brought that up with her and i said i actually know a guy this actor from america that was up here for a while he's a big fan of yours named zach galvanakis and the greatest twist of it all is that she'd never heard of him she was like oh, oh, well, that's good. That's in no way a great twist. Is it not? Why would Vicki Gaborow have heard of him? Because she's got her finger on the

pulse, Dave. Wrong. Wrong? Really? She's got her finger on her bangs. Ouch. I don't like that. Take that, Vicki Gaborow. Oh, no, I didn't mean it in that way. I mean, she has bangs. I wasn't making a finger bang joke. No, yes you were.

Yes you were. Bullshit. I thought I was scandalizing her making one of her bangs. I didn't know I made that joke. You didn't know that you made a finger bang joke. That's its own overheard that just happened naturally.

Hold on a second. Can I use the washroom, guys? Yeah, please. How about we just say we'll be right back. Hold on, can I use the washroom, guys? Yeah, please. Is that a bad thing to ask? Please. Oh, my God. How about we just say, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. Pop Rocks Minute. That sound means, of course, it's time for Pop Rocks Minute. But first, if I can interject, we went out of the room for a moment.

We all had a bathroom break. You can tell through the magic of podcasting and editing but we did and here's the thing we went out dave closed the door to keep the dog out to keep the dog out but what he did was he kept a weird smell in which i i can only assume is the smell of the three of us combined but i noticed that almost everywhere if it's dudes hanging out there's like an odiferous fucking cloud forms. But I never walk into a room full of girls. And if I do, it's usually a pleasant smell.

Mangoes. Or like you don't even notice because you're in a room full of girls. Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, well, this smells good. This is right. But this, what the fuck? None of us farted. Do you fart?

I didn't fart. I'm incapable. We literally just whatever odor is it's emanating it's like when you like you you're listening to the radio and stuff and like you turn up the music like periodically in the car and then you get out of the car you turn off the engine you go away to do stuff for a couple hours you come back and you get in in the fucking music super loud and you're like oh so we've been turning up so our smell builds up over time. Do you wear cologne ever? I don't.

You? I actually did today. It was for the first time in like a week. I found the bottle in my medicine cabinet. For the first time in like a week. Oh, really? It's been five years for me. By week, I actually meant month.

It's been since junior high when I used to wear Brut for me. I got really, really cheap cologne. I got it. That's making me sound even better. I got really cheap cologne. So it can't be me, guys. Abby used to put it in my head that maybe I should wear cologne. Although I smell great.

Harsh. Usually. No, I don't think she did. She just put it in my head that she liked cologne. You know what's weird? I smell like meat. She's jumping hints. But that was five years ago, and I have two completely full bottles of cologne. I smell like some sort of meat.

But not in a bad way. I just smell like if you smelled me and then you smelled meat in a dark room with a blindfold, you wouldn't know which was which. No, but you're right, though. The combination of smells from all of us is like, like I said, in that really spontaneous moment before we came back to this room

which we're recreating right now to the power of it's a yeah it's a unique snowflake of smells yeah exactly

from each of us it's a combination of each of us and it'll never be recreated again every group of guys that get together creates a different scent

it's impossible to duplicate this has been only dogs can pick it up this has been Pop Rocks Minute no Pop Rocks Minute Pop Rocks Minute. No, Pop Rocks Minute.

Okay, let's do it. Should we get a knife? No, let's just snap this bitch. Here's the thing. Should we do the real Pop Rocks first? Well, I don't know. Let's start with the bar. Okay, here's the thing.

We did Pop Rocks Minute. It's been a while since we did it. where we just chatted about Pop Rocks naturally. There's not that much to talk about. It isn't, really. But until I found this. This is a Pop Rocks real milk chocolate chocolate bar. And it says on it, it's milk chocolate with a kick. Oh.

And I think here, you know, let's just take a peruse of the ingredients. I love it. Ingredients, milk chocolate in brackets. What milk chocolate is made out of, Pop Rockets. Or Pop Rocks, in brackets, everything that it's made out of. And that's it. That's the ingredients, chocolates and Pop Rocks. Nice. Let's take a look at what it looks like.

Oh, it's a speckled brick. It's in threes. It's in threes. Oh, that's perfect. It was made for this podcast. All right. There's one going to Adam, one going to Dave, and one for myself. Are we going to mix this in?

Are we going to do this and mix it up? No, let's try this. Let's see how the combination of chocolate and Pop Rock. The Pop Rocks square that I got has a Pop Rocks logo. Same here. Mine as well. Okay. By relief.

All right. On three, everybody. One, two, Dave, go on ahead. Three. Oh, that is gross. I don't know if it's gross. It's really crunchy. Yeah, it is really crunchy. But not...

It's not very good chocolate. I like it. Seriously. Really? It's bargain basement chocolate. The thing is, when it's got chocolate, there's a coating on the back of your throat. So the snaps kind of like stay in your throat. It's going to be there for an exclamation. I already had a coating on the back of my throat. Whoa.

Oh, what? Zing. Against myself. Here's the thing. That's really gross is now it does feel like it's in my head. Yeah. No, exactly. It's like coated like on my soft palate. So I feel like it's in my head. Exactly. It's like coated on my soft palate so I feel like

I'm being shot with miniature bullets. I can't tell if it's coming through the microphones because I can hear it in my head anyway. Yeah, no, that's definitely... It's still in my head. Pop Rocks Minute. Celebrity. Celebrity.

All right. Well, that was a great Pop Rocks Minute. Next week we'll be doing Corn Nuts Minute. Are we going to do Corn Nuts Minute? No. Why not? Because there's a lot of flavors. The point of Pop Rocks was that

I don't get it. You can hear the You can hear Corn Nuts is one of the crunchiest snacks. Yeah, I had some today. Did you? It's funny, they're not nuts. I don't know why they're called Corn's funny. They're not nuts. I don't know why they're called nuts. They're a grain.

Yeah. Totally, totally, totally, totally. But that sound, of course, that happened 20 seconds ago, means it's time for celebrity odds. Damn streusels. And Adam Pateman's going to lead the charge this week. Yeah, I brought nothing but Adam. Oh, okay.

I got a couple, but they're weak. But let's go, Adam. Let's go, Adam. I thought of these 20 minutes. I got a couple, but they're weak. But let's go Adam. Let's go Adam. I thought of these 20 minutes before I got here. But okay, here we go. Odds that... Is it Apple Paltrow? Yeah.

No, probably Martin. Oh, maybe Apple Martin. Apple Martin Paltrow. Wait, which one? Apple Paltrow is the kid? Yeah. Okay. She's not married to a guy? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

She's not married to a guy named Apple. No, okay. Because I got confused when you started saying Martin. Yeah, Chris Martin's the baby daddy. Okay. So odds that Apple Paltrow will go to outer space. Because it's going to be when Apple grows up, you think they'll be able to do space travel by tourists? So what is the case?

You should see the look on her face. We don't get it. Okay, the odds that Apple Paltrow will be able to go into outer space. Isn't there usually a layer of hilarity? Okay, then I'm moving on to the next one. All right. All right. of hilarity. Okay, then I'm moving on to the next one. Alright. Alright. Okay, odds that they're going to make a remake of the movie Good Burger

by the year 2074. And? Is there a layer? Okay, and it won't be as many, and it will be starring the one of the offspring of a Kennedy. I'm going to say that the odds are in the 20%.

I'm going to say 45 to 1. Yeah, the odds are not good. That's pretty good. I think they're going to remake Good Burger. Because the thing is, they're going to run out of movies on a long enough time. They already have, really. Yeah. They've already remade some pretty crap films.

Yeah. But you know what the thing is? They remake a lot of movies that are already good. They should remake movies that were shitty the first go around and see if you can't make them good. Yeah. Like Good Burger. Yeah. Like Good Burger maybe is a really good movie.

If they were to remake it. If they were to handle it and if it was in 3D. It's got a lot of adventure. Oh, yeah. That'll probably work by 2074. I think everything's going to be in 3D. Hello, madam. Do you have another one?

Okay, well, what do you mean about this layers thing? No, well, you just do it. Okay, you add a layer. Yeah, we'll fix it. Okay, this will be a double whammy. Do you have any celebrity odds there, Dave? I didn't know we were doing celebrity odds today. Okay'll fix it. Okay, this will be a double whammy. Do you have any celebrity odds there, Dave? I didn't know we were doing celebrity odds today. Okay, then here we go.

This will be a double whammy. You add the second layer. Here we go. Jesus. That Saskatchewan will become its own nation for their economy boom from exporting wicked awesome shades. Shades? Shades.

Like sunglasses. Oh. I said it in the 80s. Why do you think that Saskatchewan's making shades? Well, no, I think in the future, there's a theme. They're all about being in the future. I think that Saskatchewan might,

there's a possibility, maybe. When you said Saskatchewan, I immediately went to, because for one thing, there's no celebrity in that odd. Oh, yeah, there is. That is, you're right. But no, Saskatchewan is popular's popular enough oh you're fucking right see that's why i shouldn't come up with these 20

minutes before saskatchewan will and it's famous though saskatchewan is very well known will secede from canada because of their huge shade economy provided by great the great blues rock group wide mouth mason okay okay there's your celebrity that's how that's how you uh by the great blues rock group Widemouth Mason. Widemouth Mason. Okay, there's your celebrity. That's how you... Okay, see, I'm new at this, guys. I'm new at this. Okay, I'll throw in one. I'll throw in one.

But wait, what are the odds? Please. What are the odds? What are the odds on that? I don't know. Very long. It's a long shot out of... Oh, fine.

Okay, here's one. All right. Going way back. Sinead O'Connor will speak out against China's ongoing occupation of Tibet, and even her cat will ignore her. What are the odds on that? Sure.

Cats ignore stuff. I assume it's already happened. I'm sure she's speaking out against it to everyone she knows right now. The joke there was that nobody cares. But nobody cares. Four to one odds. And cats generally ignore you no matter what. I would say that those odds are like two to one on the fact

that nobody cares what Sinead O'Connor has to say about you. Especially cats because cats don't really care about much. So we could say that those odds are even. One to one. Let's do it. Who would make that bet, though? You just get your money back. Two to one. At least double up your money. At least.

No one would invest in that. I got a couple. This is courtesy of Mike Wolfe. He gave me some celebrity names. He told me the other night that... One of the names he jotted down for celebrity names for me. Right, he told me the other night that... And one of the names he jotted down for me, Bo Jackson. So, let's see.

Remember Bo Jackson? Yeah. He was his generation's Deion Sanders. Exactly. This guy, alright, Bo Jackson. We'll see some 15-year-old graffiti in a bathroom stall that says, Bo blows, and he'll just smile.

That has happened. That probably has. So it's negative 5 to 1. Negative 5 to 1. That's already happened. It would be like, I guess, 15-year-old graffiti. Yeah. 1993, sure.

What about Bo Jackson after a long time out of the spotlight reappears at some trendy LA bar snorting coke and the headline in the tabloids reads blow nose.

Referring to the human body part of the nose. Right. Because it doesn't work on... It works either way, though. I think that's... If it happened... That's where it would go, right? Yeah.

But I don't think it's very likely that he would get let into a trendy bar. But... I know you're right. That's true. I remember there used to be a Saturday morning cartoon with Bo Jackson. It was called Pro Stars. Pro Stars. Pro Stars?

It was All Stars. Pro Stars. Pro Stars. Because it was based on the cereal. It was based on the cereal. That's right. That had Bo Jackson, Wayne Gretzky, and Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan.

Yes, it was. Michael Jordan had a flying basketball that he held on to. But Bo Jackson was clearly the star of that because he could do, what, three sports? Two. That's it? He might have been a vigorous swimmer. We don't know. He would swing this giant bat that would hit.

It was so big that it would have hit every single baseball player on the field. Yeah, he played baseball and football. Yeah. What third sport did you think he was involved in? Well, in the Bo Knows commercials, he would do everything. Well, yeah. But Bo don't know hockey. Well, that's probably why he got let down on the track.

That's why he brought in Gretzky. Here's the thing. Ping pong? That was one of the... And we are very unwitting to this, but growing up in that era, that was a whole show based around a breakfast cereal. Yeah. And the Transformers was a whole show based around a toy.

Right. Which is now a movie, which is now going back to a toy again. And so in the future, I don't know, are there kids now that are being sold things that are just based on like, here's the thing we came up with, we're going to build a whole show. I'm sure, based on like a toothpaste. I don't know what kids are into today. Montana. Oh, I've got an odd for her.

Hannah Montana, once her star fades a bit, will sign a deal with Montana's Steakhouse. Her star will have to fade quite a bit. It's gonna. Well, yeah, obviously. Did you hear there was a controversy about her showing her bra? Oh, she's a hottie.

She is not. Isn't she like 14? Never mind. There was a controversy thing because she's all you know she's squeaky clean right yeah she's all american girl yeah there's a photo of her on the internet of her showing her bra yeah i've seen it yeah i bet you have but uh wait was that that wasn't hannah montana that was miley cy. Oh, you're right. Hannah Montana would never do that. Graham and I were talking about how there's so many shows these days aimed at tweens. Oh, the tweens, man. What do you mean tweens?

What's a tween? You're Hannah Montana. It's in between. Yes. Twin people in the band Ween. Yes, twin Weens. Dean and Jean Ween as twins. Yes.

Which is nobody. Yeah, nobody. Which is a non-existent person. Hannah Montana is aimed at the guys from Ween. Who are twins. Yes. I think it's early teens. It's not quite like you're not 15-year-olds,

but kind of you're 13 to 11-year-old, 10-year-old to 13-year-old market. The bat mitzvah. It's short for in between. But Graham and I were talking about how now there's so many. There's Hannah Montana. There's the Naked Brothers band. The Jonas Brothers. That's not a TV show. No, but Naked Brothers band. The Jonas Brothers. That's not a TV show.

No, but there are bands spawned on the thing. And also the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Isn't there another Gene and Todd? I don't know. Drake and Josh. Drake and Josh. I can't even keep track. I try.

God knows I try. In our generation. Adam is... You work at science world you're here i don't have cable so i see stuff on backpacks and i'm like what do you think i spent a lot of time watching drake and josh i think you youtube things it's around it's it's uh what is drake and josh i don't know i don't know drake and josh i know the jonah i know the other one oh drake and josh is that the one with the fat guy? I don't know. Okay. But we were talking about how these things didn't exist in our generation, except for

Saved by the Bell. Saved by the Bell was it. And California Dreams. Student bodies. Student bodies. Oh, student bodies. That was a little after we were there, though. I know.

That was like grade eight for me, and I was just like... Was that the one with the puppets with the talking hot dogs? No, there was like a cartoon. There was cartoons in between. It's got a guy who's now on the Weather Network. No, it was the guy from Are You Afraid of the Dark? Sure. Remember, baby?

That counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a tween show. Are You Afraid of the Dark? Yeah. I think all of YTV was a tween show. Everything on there was. Goosebumps?

Goosebumps was tweeny. What I was thinking of was something that we didn't come up with the other day it was uh hang time the high school basketball show hang time i remember my brothers and i used to watch it because it would be like the theme song was like hang time get it together and then hang time and then the next one i was like why don't you kill yourself that was that i would sing it every time it would make us all laugh jesus christ uh here's the thing that uh hang time jesus christ i can't believe i i had completely forgotten about hang time but some lucky kids out there years from now are going to be doing a 3d podcast because that's what it will be and they will be talking about how awesome uh the sweet life of zack and cody was and they will be talking about how awesome The Suite Life of Zack and Cody was

and reminiscing about how great that was. So, you know, watch for that in 2022. Whenever that comes about. Thank you, Graham. Any more celebrity odds? Yeah. Adam had a Montana one, or did we do it? Ah, yeah, Montana.

Do you want to riff one? Do you want to come up with one on your own? These are unruffable. What? Really? You can't really riff something if someone's like, riff it. Okay, here's one, but it's another. This podcast was almost called Just Riffin' It.

Just Riffin' It. But the name was taken. Definite. But the name was taken. Bo Jackson will reprise his catchphrase, Bo Knows, during a gag on Family Guy that only four people will get. Odds on that? Who cares?

Who cares? Really? Actually, I forgot about this one. Oh, no. I have another overheard. Is it about a province? No, it's not. It's an overheard that I forgot.

We're not going back to St. Louis. Next time? Yeah, next time. There will be a next time. Adam Payman, we're bringing you back. Where do we want to go? We'll be right back. Welcome back.

Did I have to say that? Maybe not. I think we're solid i think we had a good silly hilarious time it was pretty good adam paintman thanks for coming out and joining us thanks for having me graham we're gonna have you back yeah and we'll do we'll do your other overheard okay great i'll save it i'll put a bookmark and make sure you don't overhear anything until then yeah please okay thank okay well uh dave it's been a pleasure well uh adam do you have anything you want oh do you have anything you want to plug we always say yeah you got a thing you want to plug ah no well i i mean if

you guys want to come to any uh any shows i i think i'm doing a show with uh erica and jp at laugh lines should i invite people to laugh lines yeah why not all right there doing a show with Erica and JP at Laugh Lines. Should I invite people to Laugh Lines? Yeah, why not? All right. There's a show with JP Madsen, Erica Sigurdsson, and myself and Ivan Decker on the 1st of May. So it's coming up soon, though. Thursday. That's in a couple days, yeah.

Yeah. So is this going to be up before then? Oh, this moves faster than the internet. Yeah, you better believe it, buddy. At the speed of the internet? Okay. Yeah, you should come to that. It's a fundraiser show.

For what? I hope I know. It's actually for... It's called the Rainbow Society. It's a jujitsu fundraiser. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's for learning jujitsu.

Yeah. Oh, really? They're poor, those jujitsu artisans. Well, I already know karate, and I've been looking to mix martial arts. I didn't need a can opener at all. We'll do capoeira and... Well, can you mix with capoeira to make it look super awesome? Oh, you can mix a lot of things.

A little coleslaw in there. I'll do capoeira and kayaking. A little cayenne powder. Maybe we should have just ended it the way I was going to end it before it got all crazy and out of control. Dave, do you have anything to plug? No, but if anyone wants to email us, stop podcasting yourself. Do it. We'll mention you. Stop podcasting yourself do it we'll mention you stop

pat stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and also thanks to sarah bino being our first person to send us a message i think that's great message i didn't get no message i do you want me to forward it to you is that is it that important yes okay i will cc it to me i don't know i just i will cc it to add a payment but uh you're you're now our number one bumper i'm not afraid to say that i that important? Yes. Okay, I will. CC it to me. I don't know, I just do it. I will CC it to Adam Pateman. You're now our number one bumper. I'm not afraid to say that. I am not afraid to say that. And join our Facebook group if you're on Facebook. Yeah, if you're on Facebook,

stop podcasting yourself at facebook.org.com and thank you for listening and you'll hear from us next week. Stop podcasting yourself.