Stop Podcasting Yourself - Stop Podcasting Yourself - ep.9

Episode Date: May 2, 2008

Comedian/Dreamboat Ivan Decker joins the boys for some serious discussion about Jean-Claude Van Damme, Iron Man and Grand Theft Auto (y'know, nerd stuff), drop-kicking stools, and TV's Screech.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! All right, everybody, and welcome to episode nine of Stop Podcasting Yourself. We were saying get to know us so much that I thought the show was called Get to Know Us, but it's not. It's called Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is the hilarious and talented Mr. Dave Shumka. How's it going?

Good. What? What? Come on. What happened to that high energy? Oh, yeah. How's it going? Good. What? What? Come on, what happened to that high energy? Oh, it's super great. It's great to be here. I live here. You live here. It is great to be here. And sitting with us today are in studio slash office slash spare guest room when your parents show up, I think. No? My parents live in town. Oh, that's right. Mr. Ivan Decker is here with us today, comedian and former Bell Canada employee.

Is that right? Is it Bell? Yes. Yeah. Welcome. Thank you. Great to be here. Good to have you here.

Man, this is going to be lightning in a bottle. I was telling Ivan I believe he's our youngest guest ever. How old are you? 22. 22 years old. Double deuce. The double deuce. The big one, maybe. I don't know.

Is it big? No, I think 22 is like the age that doesn't matter. It's like 21, something happens. 23, I think blink 182 weighed in on that one pretty heavily. Nobody likes it when you're 23. What's my age again? Yeah, yeah. 24, nothing.

25, quarter century. 26, go fuck yourself. 27, nobody gives a shit. 28, 29, then 30, right? And then nothing until 40, 50. And then every year after 100 becomes awesome. But 33 is a big age because isn't that when like... Oh, Jesus?

Jesus, and then like Janis Joplin died at 33, too. The triple trade. So that's when Jesus died. Oh, Janis Joplin. And Jimi Hendrix, I think he was 33. No, that was 27. All right. Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain.

Kurt Cobain was how old? 33? 27. Oh, 27 is the age. No, he was older than 27. I know they were all the same age when they died. It was Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, and Lucille Ball. How old was Elvis when he died?

A young Lucille Ball. Elvis was always in his 40s. Always in his 40s? One of my... A guy in my... Really? Kurt Cobain died when he was 27? Oh, okay. You know that... What is it? was in his 40s one of my a guy in my really Kurt Cobain died when he was 27 oh okay

you know that that what is it it's like a painting I think it's called the Boulevard of Broken Dreams yeah yeah where it's Humphrey Bogart

and Marilyn Monroe like is that the one with James Dean yeah yeah yeah there's another one that a guy in my in my dorm

oh please tell me I know where this is going it was Forever 27 and it was uh a bunch of famous people dead famous people same diner drinking the same uh no it was a different room i think and uh it was jimmy hendrix maybe it was janice joblin and jim morrison and kurt cobain was just walking through the door.

Hey, I'm the new guy. That's one of my favorite genres of art is the celebrities, the person who knows how to draw celebrities really well, putting them in a room together, montage. It was a very big, I don't know if it still is, but I know somebody that had a poster with like, everybody from classic movies. And it's like in a bar and they're all at the bar, but all facing forward.

You'll be able to find an image for it, I'm pretty sure. I'm sure I will. Well, there's that mural on, it's like 4th Avenue here in Vancouver. I forget, is it like a speaker store? And it's got everybody. It's got Jack Nicholson. Yeah, why is Nick Nicholson on there? It's like it's a bunch of musicians,

and then like in the corner, Jack Nicholson's there. Like, I've done some stuff. I've guessed it on some albums. I like it when there's a street artist who will do your portrait and they always have the same stuff that they can draw. They can draw Scarface, Tupac,

Robert De Niro. Can you buy those pictures? Because I don't want a picture of me. That's tacky. Yeah, they sell those pictures. Yeah, I would buy the Tupac one. I think they just have the same Tupac one. One guy drew it.

Because I had my picture drawn at the flea market, and the guy had the Tupac. He had all the standards. Scarface, Tupac. Bob Marley, always smoking pot. What's that? There's never one of bob marley not with a joint it's always like yeah that's right and the picture that he drew i've actually got it on my myspace of you your face yeah it's he drew me and it looks like i'm a woman with a

mustache on and then i'm about 13 13 the only thing he nailed was the hat I was wearing that day which is an unusual hat for you because you're known for this I'm a cap guy but I was wearing a baseball hat but but seriously when I showed it to my roommate John Prado I said

what do you think and he like until like two days later when I said he said so who do you think that's supposed to be of and I was like no that's me that's why I have it and he did like until like two days later when i said he said so who do you think that's supposed to be of and i was like no that's me that's why i have it and he's like oh jesus that's not even close and sean proud love has a portrait of him in your house you've seen it yeah i like it a lot when i saw it i thought it was a picture of a young sean proud love and his mother but it was actually a picture of sean proud love and his mother, but it was actually a picture of Sean Proudlove and his brother. So that when the guy drew that picture,

you obviously looked at it immediately and were like, no, not at all. Not even close. Did he still charge you for it? Of course. Oh, yeah. That's kind of ridiculous. Time is money, I guess. But the greatest thing is now when I go back,

when I kind of cycle back through my memories, I can recall people walking by, looking at the picture, and doing that. Shaking their head. Just going like, mm-mm, not even close. Just standing behind it,

giving the thumbs down. Well, I remember one girl's eyes really bulged out, and I was like, I didn't know why until I saw it, and I was like, oh, because she was trying to signal to me,

like, just get up and walk away. Yeah. Just run halfway through. This guy clearly doesn't know what he's doing add speed lines and smoke i didn't know you paid for that because there have been a few artist depictions of you uh by fans yeah and uh then i saw that on your myspace and i just assumed you felt bad for a crippled fan

uh if only it was that awesome. No, I actually paid for that. Because I was there and I was at the flea market and I bought everything I wanted to buy. And I had an extra $10. And this was literally the decision between getting the drawing done or getting a flea market chair massage. And exactly. That's what I said. I was like, whoops-a-daisy.

At the flea market, do they have a flea circus? No, I don't even think that's what i said i was like whoops a daisy at the flea market do they have a flea circus no i don't even think that's a thing that's not a real it was like a little thing they'd set up with like strings that would control the little diving board and the trapeze or whatever there's a motorized ferris wheel it's really small and be like yeah can you see the place and the kids would would be like Maybe No you can't They're like sea monkeys Alright Sea monkeys

Well this has been a long intro Yeah but it's been raucous Oh yeah We've earned it We've come a long way baby Rock and roll I guess Shall we get to know us Let's get to know us

Let's get to know our guest I have a decker What's Get to know us. That's my favorite intro song ever. It is pretty good. Ivan,

let's get to know you. What's... What's shaking? What's new? What's been going on this week? Did a lot of push-ups. No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

Don't fake your way through this. I went to... Like, on the way here, I was trying to get an overheard. So i went to like on the way here i was trying to get uh an overheard so i went to starbucks and uh don't do the overheard now no we're not there yet i know and it was like there was no time to overhear anything because there was a homeless woman in there uh getting arrested

oh really because i guess she had done drugs in the bathroom and then she was like going crazy and there's just this huge crowd of people. And there was those, they're called the downtown ambassadors. Yeah, yeah, the guys with the red caps. They got the red jackets, and they ride bikes. They can tell you where the nearest cafe crepe is. Yeah, exactly. That's their job.

But then they behave like they're police, but they don't have guns, and then the real cop shows up and takes care of things, and they just both kind of stand there like they're on a field trip. Like, oh, wow, this is crazy. Yeah, this guy's really good at his job. I love my work. What were those guys that came to town that had the red berets? You know what I'm talking about? The red berets.

Jean-Claude Van Damme from Street Fighter. Yeah. Guile. Yeah, it was Guile. Damme from Street Fighter. Yeah. Guile. It was Guile. Colonel Guile. The Guiles. Guile Squadron. Colonel Guile.

Who were the guys who had the Red Berets? I don't know. No, they came to town. The Legionnaires. That was a different Jean-Claude Van Damme. And he wore one of those silly... The Quest. Yes.

BuzzFudge. Let's not just keep naming Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. Did you see the clip from the movie I showed last week? The Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle? No. It has a picture of him on the cover of the box very prominently.

And it was called No Retreat, No Surrender. And there's a picture of a kid kind of in the background. It turns out the movie is entirely about that kid. And Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a bodyguard for about four minutes. There was... Oh, jeez. I remember I used to be a big Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

Or big Jean-Claude Van Damme fan. I used to be a movie. Remember Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dave Shumka? And I looked him up on IMDb, and I think one of his first roles, oh, jeez, I'm going to get this wrong, but it was a terrible movie, obviously. I never saw it. But it was, the name of it had something to do with South America,

and his character was in it for about three seconds, and it was like gay breakdancer or something. No. Are you talking about Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo? No. Because he's in that. Oh, really? As a breakdancer.

But not as a breakdancer. There's a crowd scene. Jai Harris showed me this, and it is one of the funnier clips I've ever seen. It's a huge thing they're on the beach and there's a big crowd around the break dancers and there's this one guy who doesn't seem to be able to keep the time of the music at all and he's really muscly he's wearing like a tiny uh kind of uh underwear bathing suit situation and he's dancing back and forth and uh jay harris is like who's that? Who's that? And I'm looking really close, and he's like, that's right.

Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeah, maybe it was two movies that he got. Maybe he started out as a breakdancer. Maybe. Check your facts. We'll see if it works. We'll put this on the recap. Here's a...

Did you finish your druggie thing? Oh, yeah. And did you ever tell us who the Red Berets were? Well, no, okay, there was this organization, they started in New York,

and they were all, they were called like... The Yankees. They never were Red Berets. Well, maybe the, maybe the great Babe Ruth did

when he got drunk and he was making fun of French people. Here's the thing. There was this group of guys in New York City. They weren't the Yankees or any other... 9-11 relief workers. Red Cross.

Was it Red Cross? I was like, Red Cross for $400. You're going to go online and you're going to find out that it's this group. And they wore tight white t-shirts and red berets. Were they a rock group? Yes. Were they white supremacists? It was cheapap Trick,

is what I'm trying to say. They're from Chicago. Oh, no, it was the band Chicago. That's what I meant. They're also from Chicago. Maybe it was Boston. They're from Canada. No, it was Chilliwack.

Okay, listen. We'll figure this out after the podcast, but they're called something anyways. They're this group of volunteer guys. I'm taking off my sweater because it's really hot in here um volunteer guys that go around and do like even less than the downtown ambassadors and because they're not official in any way ladies cross the street we saw one at a protest of the olympics and he was just standing there doing fuck all like he was i

was as much keeping the peace as he was and And then there were protesters getting out of hand. He just stood there. And I'm like, well, you could take the beret off and just go home. You don't need to stand there and pretend you're Jean-Claude Van Damme and Legionnaire or whatever. Anyways, that went nowhere. But basically, well, yeah, what happened was the homeless woman, she went kind of crazy. And then they sort of calmed her down. And then they just kind of

searched her or the cop did all this while the downtown ambassadors uh we're pointing out the closest cafe one of them still wearing his helmet uh inside like two blocks up and to the left that's right he's telling everybody everybody calm down i know where the cafe crepes are all right i always get them confused with the people in Metro Town who are the guides who wear rollerblades. No, that's Superstore and they're price checkers. Sorry. That's right. But then they conned her down, they searched her

and then they just walked her to the door and let her go. Just do that outside. It's kind of like if a pigeon flies into a store. Yeah, you just get her. Like, really? You're not going to charge her with anything? They just put an apron over her head and just walk her to the door and then

go. Throw her in her pillowcase. Trying to like... Trying to lead her out with cigarette butts. Just come on. Somebody's sweeping her with a broom. Come on, go. Go, go.

That would be awesome. So that's it. That's all that happened all week. Come on, go, go, go. That would be awesome. So that's it. That's all that happened all week was just right before the show. No, Dave, let's go to you. We can all go around in a circle. I think a few things happened to... I know one thing that happened to both Ivan and myself. Here it goes.

But we'll get to that in a moment. Let's talk about last week after we recorded our show with Adam Pateman. Oh, hey, yeah. had uh quite the adventure the debauched adventure yeah well you tell your version i'll i'll add it in as it goes along usually after the show graham and i uh go our separate ways not in a bad way we don't there's usually some bad there. There's some tension. Yeah. There's always some unresolved tension. Yeah.

Sexual. But last week... This makes the show so listenable. The show... We finished recording the show at about 7 on a Saturday. And so we decided to get something to eat. And Adam Pateman came along. And my lovely girlfriend, Abby, came along. Who is her own person.

abby came along who is her own person uh she uh we we went down to king's way and to ken's chinese restaurant yeah where graham is a celebrity yeah and uh see i knew that they some of the people that worked at the old ken's before it moved would recognize me and it took a while but the one waitress came over and her opening gambit was, you're not as fat, was her starting line. So kudos. Yeah, so kudos on that. And also the little advertisement they had inside was quite hilarious because it was the Ken's Chinese sign. And then these giant Chinese people standing on either side. Remember that?

Do you not recall that at all? Is it the one that i took the picture of with my camera yeah yeah yeah well i certainly remember that it's been the wallpaper on my phone oh is it yeah it's really funny and maybe i didn't get it uh but we were the only white people there and we were also the only people eating without chopsticks yeah they didn't even bring the chopsticks it was forks all around and i didn't even notice it until the food came in. I was like, wait a minute. Did they just make that call?

I always have to ask for chopsticks whenever I go to places because they always assume. Everybody else was chopsticking it up. We were the only ones. But the Chinese restaurant, it's usually on the table when you get there. We had nothing on the table, and then they brought forks. And by Chinese, I mean Asian. Yeah. Reset it.

Get the three forks we have in the bag. We should have all... Refused to eat. Well, no, we should have paired off. I should have given you my fork, and then you should have tried to use them as chopsticks with the opposite end. Too nice. I don't understand how these things work. I'm so racially insensitive.

But afterwards, whose idea was it that we should have a deep-fried chocolate bar? It started innocently enough. We were talking about the Templeton restaurant downtown in Vancouver. Very good restaurant, by the way. And they have deep-fried chocolate bars on the dessert menu. And I restaurant, by the way. They have deep-fried chocolate bars on the dessert menu.

I was just talking about it. I think Adam Pateman really rooted on the cause. He was a rebel rouser the whole night. He was like, where can we get it? I suggested you can get them at Wingnuts in Vancouver. Right. You can get them at, I believe,

Fritz. The fry house which does it there yeah is it still open fritz there's the one on davy like next to the pizza place the one on commercial certainly did it but anyway i volunteered that maybe we could just do it ourselves and we sure did yeah i didn't even know like you had the presence of mind that we had to batter it first I thought we were just going to throw it into oil And just see what the fuck happened But you knew that we had to put something around it

So we stopped at Max And we picked up some chocolate bars I had a Mars You had a Mars Abby had a Snickers And Adam picked Reese's Peanut Butter Cups He didn't seem to understand the whole concept, but he was convinced that it would work

because he was giving us science lessons all night. He does work at the world of science. It's true. So we brought them home, and I whipped up some pancake batter, and we covered them all in pancake batter, and I made mine first, and it was liquid hot.

I don't remember it being very good. But it wasn't bad. Is that what they deep fry stuff? I don't know. You have to dip it in something to create an outer chill. Otherwise it's going to be melting chocolate all over your hot oil. We deep fried them in a pan.

In a pan of oil. That's not very deep. We just fried them. a pan. In a pan of oil. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not very deep. So we just fried them. Yeah, but it's chocolate bar deep. Yeah. So there. All right.

So then we did that. And then the next morning. Yeah, Graham was feeling gross. It felt like somebody had stuck a knitting needle in my stomach. And I felt really, really awful and I realized that I'm allergic to peanuts and that Abby and Adam had jumped in the vat before

I had and so there was residual peanut action. So I paid for that dearly and... No details necessary. But it's just immense amounts of pain. I'm not allergic to anything. I'm allergic to everything.

I've never had allergies. I think there's stuff that I am allergic to, but I've never found out. I've never had it analyzed. I just say I don't like stuff. Yeah. I just say I'm allergic to stuff I don't like. Oh, yeah, I know. At restaurants, you have to say allergic or else they make a face and nobody wants that face.

Yeah, because one time I remember I got a Greek salad and I said, can I get it without feta? And the girl wanted to kill me. What are you allergic to? Oh, you mean the list? No, but you're not allergic to feta? No, I just didn't want it. But like I was saying. Yeah, no, it's all right.

I just didn't feel like it. Sometimes you feel like feta. Do you guys order a Greek salad? Because they didn't have regular... You're wasting everyone's time. It was a Greek restaurant, and they didn't have any other salad on the menu. I'm allergic to Greeks. Oh, really?

Well, I just don't like them. So, Eddie, you get a mild reaction during the Olympics. You're just like, just some... Get those fuckers out of town. So that was fun. That was a fun night. Did you deep fry anything else? My wristwatch?

You should have deep fried some Pop Rocks, and then it would have been exciting. Oh, we ate a chocolate Pop Rocks bar last week, too. So I was buzzing all night. That was some crazy... That was high as a kite. That was a sugar high craziness. Chocolate adventures. What happened to you this week?

What did happen? Because I'm trying to remember Sunday. Oh, you know what? I broke a diarrhea. I had some bad times in the bathroom. See, I broke my usual policy, which is not to do a show on Sunday night. Take a break.

Because you're a Seventh-day Adventist. Exactly. And I like to sit around and I like to relax. I'm a Christian scientist. What's that? I'm a Christian scientist. Are you? Is that the study?

So I don't accept blood transfusions. But you do accept miracles. Yeah. And I have a poster of Jesus at 33. In a bar with Janis Joplin. And Mitch Hedberg is just walking through the door. Yeah, exactly. That's going to be, you know, that that's...

Who will be this generation's Boulevard of Broken Dreams? Yeah. Who is it? Is it Tupac and Biggie? It could be Britney. Yeah. No, she's turning around, buddy. She's getting her shit together now. She's turning that Biggie? It could be Britney. Yeah. No, she's turning around, buddy. Yeah, she's getting her shit together now.

She's turning that beat around. It'll be Miley Cyrus. Whoa. No, she seems nice. Yeah. But that Hannah Montana, I don't like her at all. Her dad's got a mullet. Had.

Had. Well, I saw an episode where he wore a wig. To play Billy Ray Cyrus. To play young Billy Ray Cyrus. It just becomes like so meta like it's just like he's playing she's playing herself but not and he's playing himself but also not and then he's wearing a wig all of a sudden he's playing a guy who's a real guy but that was also him she's able to convince her friends that she's hannah montana, no, no, that she's not Hannah Montana.

That's – And they're not – not that they're ever suspicious. Well, I love that that's – like, you know, when you watch, like, Superman, there's, like, you know, you have to make that leap of faith in order to watch the show that everybody will be fooled by a pair of glasses. Right. But then everything else in Superman is, you know, it's, like, fantastic, right? He's flying. He's fighting aliens and all this crazy shit. But Hannah Montana, you go for that leap where nobody's going to recognize her because of a blonde wig. And then the rest is just mundane reality where she's just like, she has a problem at school.

She's going to deal with the teacher. Nothing else is fantastic. So really, it just cuts back to everybody around her is functionally retarded. Have you ever watched Hannah Montana? No, I've never seen the show. Yeah, me neither. I know that they're both the same person. I thought you said you watched an episode.

No, I just know a lot about it. Yeah, okay. I know that she releases albums as Hannah Montana and as Miley Cyrus and sells both of them. Yeah, and she toured as both, and she used a body double. Wow. Which must have been pretty hot and the 13 year old so yeah so i broke my thing of not doing shows on sunday i did a show on sunday and then the rest of the week i've been all off kilter because i did too much too much

too many shows i've been doing shows every night. Can't handle it. You need that rest. You're telling me. So, yeah, shows every night. Oh, and then last night we found out at Lime Restaurant that they are now discontinuing live entertainment at the Lime. So there will be no show after this next week. Well, I mean, there will be a show. It just won't be at Lime. We'll find another place. The Laugh Gallery must live on. Well, it's like a cockroach. You can't kill that shit. Yeah Lime. We'll find another place. The Laugh Gallery must live on. Well, it's like a cockroach.

You can't kill that shit. Yeah. Yeah. It'll keep going. No way. Not now. Not ever. So anyways, yeah.

So that was something we found out after a long night of drinking last night. So yeah, show up at Lime on... Oh, what's the date going to be? May... May... What is it today, the 1st? So May... My watch says it's the 31st of April.

So does mine. My watch does not know. It's May 1st. So show up May 7th at Lime on Commercial Drive, and it'll be a big brouhaha in a good way. Brouhaha, woo-haha. All right, well, let's... No, no, no, I got more.

Oh, Jesus. Let's go. Well, I'd just like to point out that from now on, we're going to be drinking joke beer during the show. Yeah, so we're drinking today's show brought to you by Untouchable Pale Ale, Speakeasy San Francisco. Yeah, it's a... Gangster beer.

Yeah, a gangster-themed beer during Prohibition times. Yeah, it's more fun when you think that you're breaking the law. Yeah. That's what this company realized. This podcast is illegal. iTunes wouldn't accept it. But we brought it to iTunes anyways. On the back it says, shh, like, don't tell anyone about this beer.

And there's a pair of eyes on the bottle that are looking pretty shifty. I think drinking probably would have been at its most fun during Prohibition. Totally. There's no doubt about it. the speaking i think drinking probably would have been at its most fun during prohibition totally there's no doubt about it like if if drinking now was illegal like if we were just sitting around and totally breaking the law and like well we wouldn't be talking like this we'd be all like hey what did you do this week and you'd be talking about and uh 23 skidoo 23 skidoo hey how you doing what's the rumpus there, Graham Clark? And that would be the whole... And we would only have 30 listeners

because we'd be on some illegal broadband station that you could only get on a ham radio or whatever. You'd have to crank it. It's steam-powered. We missed a good time. Things are fun when they're illegal. That's why I recently bought a slave. That's why I gave murder a try.

Oh, that's got to be so wacky. A big thing that happened to both Ivan Decker and myself this week. I just say it's big because I imagine it consumed a lot of your time. Oh, it certainly did and has and will in the future. The new Grand Theft Auto video game arrived in stores. Oh, right. Here we go. Yeah. The Grand Theft Auto video game arrived in stores. Oh, right. Here we go. Yeah. And Ivan and I were talking last night about how we just love the little details about it.

Like the way you fly off a motorcycle if you crash it. Or the way when you hijack or carjack someone, they come after you. Sometimes they come after you. Sometimes they come after you and they try to get back in their car. If you drive away, they'll keep holding onto your car and you'll just drag them behind you. Wow. Good times.

Did you get it? How'd you get it? I thought they were lined up at midnight. I've been lined up at midnight. Tell that. I went down at about 11.30 30 i got there and the line was like a common street people long yeah uh i was glad to be associated with those people also i like what you said last night on stage uh quite i think accidentally but it was quite the freudian slip where you said uh because video games are

better than girls is what you said and i think right away realized that that was not in your best interest to say. Yeah, I didn't mean to say that. But there were people there with their girlfriends who came along. Not for long. Yeah, exactly. I don't know why they would even be associated with that. But there was a couple of girls that were by themselves. Now, that's got to be the worst for them.

Because whoever's on either side of them in the lineup is going to try and hit on them. I'm sure that girls are into this game. I'm all for equal rights. But are girls into a game like this? I assume girls play these games. They must. Right? I think they watch their boyfriends play.

Yeah, I think there were probably like girls sitting there. My assumption was that she was buying it for like it's her boyfriend's birthday. Her boyfriend is super obese. They cannot leave the house. He's trapped in his home. He's an invalid. And she doesn't understand the word enabler she doesn't get it

just the conversations in the lineup were so terrible people were like what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get the game I don't know start the beginning and they'll be like I'm gonna get a gun and shoot a cop I'm like okay I love the

that's my favorite brand of nerd is the nerd with the violent, the latent violent tendencies that could never exist in the real world. Yeah, exactly. Like the guy, he collects knives, couldn't use them. Like if he got in a knife fight, would slice off his left hand almost immediately. Just drops it and sticks his foot to the floor he's got a subscription to like kung fu monthly and yeah he's just he's got armor and all this crazy shit posters of guns on his wall yeah and he plays those games till like five in the morning

and then but you know that if it's somebody at the bar was like move out of my seat he'd be like fuck me i gotta get out of here like he wouldn't put up a fight at all. I thought you meant your favorite kind of nerd was the talkative lineup nerd. Oh, God. Well, the talkative lineup nerd is... I was talking to somebody today... Because it's his only time out of the house. Well, and I was talking to somebody today,

and they're like, we think we're going to go see Iron Man opening night, which I guess would be technically tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow night. Although, when you're listening to this, if you downloaded it the day of its release, it would be today. Yeah, or if you're downloading it a week from now, you'll fondly remember when Iron Man opened in the theater. Friday, May 2nd.

But I said, I was like, you don't go on opening night, because there is going to be one guy. You know there's going to be at least one guy, and they're my favorite guy at this type of event who's made the costume yeah shows up is a real splash for all of five minutes when he first walks in then has to sit in extreme discomfort for the hour and 45 minutes he sits down you see the cardboard buckling he's just sweating i didn't think of a way to barely sit in his crazy iron he's gonna lean into the seat he leaves the helmet on he can't see the movie it's just fogging up the whole time he's like how much iron stuff do you think he's gonna have you see their sweat stains bleeding through the cardboard how familiar are you with Iron Man the character? Very. Well, I'm a bit of a comic book nerd, so.

Oh. Poor Kwa. Poor Kwa. Oh, because he's not one of your major figures in comic lore. He's not, except that he's one of the very few comic book characters that had, like, an awesome song written about him. So that's pretty cool. Which one? It was Rhythm as a Dancer.

That was about him? I knew there was something familiar about that song. You know who my favorite comic book character is? Mr. Vane. The tagline on that? He knows what he wants and he wants it. He wants you. Oh.

Ivan's too young to remember that. You don't know? You don't remember that? No, the only comic book... I had these cards when I was growing up called Marvel Masterpieces. I remember those. I had a full set. All of them.

Number one through... They were gorgeous. My favorite was the Spider-Man one. Yeah, Spider-Man was great. But there were so many comic book people in in there where i was like who the hell like there was a guy one of them was named skin yeah uh and he looked like mr fantastic like he could stretch but i guess he couldn't go back to human shape like he was just permanently permanently elongated oh that's unfortunate it's gotta be i be. I like Mr. Boombastic, a.k.a. Shaggy.

I was a really big fan, and they've never really done anything with him since. He's called Plastic Man, and he was a guy who wore like... He would be like the type of character that hipster kids would love now if they rediscovered... Maybe they do i haven't read comics for a long time but if somebody had the gumption to write that comic book again because he was like this smarmy really funny character and he wore cool sunglasses but he could stretch like that was his whole thing but he was like the funny superhero and i bet you he would catch on again because he's really hip hipsters like sunglasses

hipsters like things that are well does he wear tight pants because if he doesn't wear tight pants he doesn't wear pants no he doesn't he wears like a singlet because his legs go all crazy bendy pants wouldn't

he wears yoga gear how do they design a suit that stretches with these people I'm actually pretty excited about Iron Man because I saw the first trailer and then I refused to watch any more trailers because I know whether I want to see a movie or not. I just know.

Yeah. No, I'm the same way. Sometimes I'm confused when I end up at a movie and I'm like, I didn't think this was going to be good at all. And then it's not. And they spoil all the jokes and all the action. So I only watched the first trailer and I don't know anything about no Iron Man comics. Okay.

I don't know who he is. I don't know nothing about no Iron Man comics. So I'm excited to see the movie because I'm going in clean slate. Cool. I'm excited to see the movie because I'm going in clean slate. Cool. Well, I think you'll like it because he, as is the case with a lot of the Marvel characters, he's got some kind of imperfection in his thing.

He's an alcoholic. And so that's kind of an interesting... I said while drinking a beer. Also brought to you by red stripe brood in jamaica um mon do jesus um we're gonna edit that out uh we gonna or what are we gonna do we're gonna do uh you usually do overheard let's do some overheards overheard uh overheard um you've heard it before, Ivan. You know how this goes.

Oh, of course. Big fan. Do you want to start it off? Do you have one? I've got a few. One of them is a real overheard. One of them is an overseen. Oh, that's cool.

I got an overseen as well. And then I also have a news story, but that's unnecessary. That's cool. But anyway, the overheard. Let's start with the overheard. I sort of have to preface a little bit. Have you guys ever been in a situation where you're like, you overhear something that is so obviously a lie,

but the person's friends don't know, and you almost want to just stand up and walk over to them and be like, um, bullshit. No, that didn't happen. It's impossible. But this girl, I was at a sushi place, and it was the one on Davy that's really sort of close-packed. You're sitting at a sushi place And it was the one On David

That's like really Sort of close pack Like you're sitting At a table But the other people Are like right there So I'm listening To this whole conversation

And this girl Was talking about How she was on a date With a guy And they were Out for hamburgers And she was eating The hamburger

And there was no Toothpick in the burger So she bit it, and the patty flew out and went right into his shirt pocket. That's a great story. Did it really happen? I highly doubt it. It happened in the pages of Archie magazine, and Jughead was in the background going,

lickety lips, because that's how Jughead would do it's lickety lips uh that's really funny what about archie it was so where are they gonna make that a movie remember do you you probably don't recall this but i was a fan of archie and there was they did a uh tv movie called back to riverdale where it was it postulated what would it be like if Archie, A, wasn't a comic book, but like real life, and B, what if they were adults returning for a high school reunion? And this was, these were some of the plot twists in it. Archie comes back, he's got a son, and Betty and Veronica, still undecided.

About what? Undecided over whether or not they're lesbians? Still. Oh, over Archie. Is Archie single? Yeah, he's divorced. Who's the son with? Is it with Betty and Veronica?

No, he left Riverdale. He wasn't with either of them. The third. The third. Rap Archie. And then Jughead comes back with his son, and Big Ethel is super hot. And there's a dance number at the gym where Jughead shows his son how they do it.

I think they rap at one point. His son is a giant hamburger. Did Sisko choreograph the dance session? Or is that She's All That? She's All That. But really, I think it was the one foray where they're like, let's make this a new movie. And then they're like, oh, this is new movie and then like they were like oh this is terrible it was like an abc film um film just called it a film it was cinema definitely fine fine all right um here's the thing that i it wasn't really

overheard because it was said directly yours is really good isn't it which one you're overheard you were bragging earlier no i wasn't okay never mind go ahead? You were bragging earlier. No, I wasn't. Okay, never mind. Go ahead. When was I bragging? During the podcast? No, no, no. Before the podcast.

Did I say what it was? Nope. Oh, I just said I had one that I thought... Oh, the one that I saw on the way over here was really good. Save it, because I've got a weak one. Okay, we'll balance it out. But when I was doing a show, I did a show on Tuesday, and somebody who liked the show, the DJ that was working on the show, was that a show at the Hennessy?

DJ Tanner. DJ Tanner was there. He was like, I've got to go wake up San Francisco. But he came over, and he said, he was like, I really enjoyed your set, man. That was really funny. Like, I liked liked 85 of your jokes and i liked uh i like that he put a percentage that felt nice i've never gotten above 60 no well no shoot for the money keep studying

those djs they're big on percentages not even the dj right i think we all know which dj um my overheard is something i overheard myself say that was way like weird that was odd i was like oh i wish i hadn't said that uh it's me every day i did a show at uh a uh at shivana's on mond. Sure. An improv show. Well, I did stand up, but it was an improv show. And I was with Todd Allen. Yeah. Comedian Todd Allen.

Of the Late Late Show, Todd Allen. Of the Late Late Show. We were talking about Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I said, I never really understood the name. The title of the show. And I immediately was like, okay, well. My opinion is now that... Completely null and void.

Yeah. Because I... And he explained it to me and I'm like, well, yeah, I do get it, but... What didn't you understand about it? I just don't know who the you is is it the audience or is it larry david i think it wasn't it supposed to be it wasn't supposed to be the world around larry david wasn't that it oh do i have it wrong i don't know if anyone taught todd allen explained it to you he was like well larry david's uh like the opposite of

enthusiastic well yeah no i got that that's what i meant the world around i think it's just a phrase Todd Allen explained it to you? He was like, well, Larry David's like the opposite of enthusiastic. Well, yeah, no, I got that. That's what I meant. The world around. I think it's just a phrase that's very cat-like. Just get Larry David on the phone. We're big here. Stop pausing on yourself.

We can get him. But I felt like it was such a stupid question. And Todd was a sweetheart for even entertaining it. But I was like, I felt like I just asked him, what do they call them? Curly fries? Why do they call them curly fries? Seriously. Because they're fried.

They're twisty. Yeah, because they're fried potatoes. You had another one. You said an oversaw? I haven't ever seen from my favorite place. It counts as overheard. For ridiculous things

are the comments on the internet. I was reading an article this morning about how they said that if there was life on Mars, that spells disaster for us because they're hypothesizing that Earth is going to become like Mars and we're all going to die.

It probably means that we'll be finished. And then the first comment underneath, they have a comment section, the first comment underneath, like, they have a comment section, the first comment underneath was, like, a guy was like, yeah, these people, like, people need to really understand that we're, like, just an anthill in a big universe. And he had, it was, like, this big, long paragraph.

Comment number two, Mars is gay. The end of that comment. Mars is gay. Comment number one. But then you can rate the comments, and the one, and, like, The end of that comment. Mars is gay. Comment number one. First. But then you can rate the comments, and the one, and, like, the paragraph had, like, negative two, and then Mars is gay had, like, plus seven. So seven other people have been like, yeah, Mars is gay. Fuck that place.

I'm with this guy. Oh, that is funny. You're not going to let it keep us down? oh that is funny you're gonna let it keep us down I just love the internet because it gives it like you say it just gives like an equal platform to the smartest guy in the room and the guy

who wants to punch the smartest guy in the room he's got a computer totally just the anonymous douchebaggery of fucking comments I don't think my overseen is gonna top that but we'll see it was actually while I was walking here and it was one of those moments

where I was carrying two things of beer and I put them down because I had to have a good chuggle. But you know how people have a tendency to write things on stop signs, right? Or put like stickers. Stop podcasting yourself though, right? Right, yeah. We should do that for advertising. Yeah.

It's not a bad idea. It's not. Okay, let's try that. But somebody had done it with felt pen very crudely, and I only just glanced up at it, and it said, stop. Hammer time. That's fantastic. It felt pretty good to see that.

Also on the walk over here, incidentally, the Communist Party is alive and well in your neighborhood, my friend. There's a guy driving around in a truck, like a homemade truck with pictures of famous communists on the side. Well, today is May Day, which is the communist holiday. Today's May Day? May 1st? Yeah. Oh, that's why he's driving around in a communist truck. Okay.

I thought communisms didn't have holidays. Communisms? Is that what they're called? Communisms? Communisms, good. One thing, speaking of the internet and random shit you can find,

we, random S word for poo you can find. Random S word for poo. Sorry. Someone posted this on the local comedy forum. Oh, yeah, we should totally talk about that.

You're talking about the Craigslist thing. Someone posted well, on Craigslist, there's the missed connections. Can we, is there any way we can bring it up so that we can actually read it? Alright. Yeah, we found this one thing. Someone posted this on thecomedycouch.com.

Yeah, and it was... If you don't know, Craigslist has a whole section on Craigslist to do with relationships. And one of the things is... What is it? Missed encounters? Misconnections. It's the equivalent of the Georgia Strait I saw you. Yeah, it's basically if you're too nervous to get someone's, make contact with people.

But this, to me, like, honestly, when it comes to I saw you, it's like, I understand, like, if you're like, I made a mistake, I had to get off the bus, I didn't get to say hi, that I understand, but the thing, like, we were talking, I was too nervous, so I'll put this thing in on the random. We had a connection for 10 minutes, and I didn't even get a name or a phone number. Like, if you're that, if you're so nervous, what are you going to do on the date? I had a connection for ten minutes and I didn't even get a name or a phone number. If you're so nervous, what are you going to do on the date? Like, how are you going to, if you do get a date?

I'm sorry I had to leave early. I shit myself. I S-word for poop myself. I think that the I Saw You's were originally designed for like, hey, you left your watch on the bench and I have it. Like, that makes sense. But all this penis and vagina talk. Or, you know, thanks for helping me move my couch. Yeah.

I saw you, stranger, touching my couch. So, but this one happened last night at one. Yeah, at your show. Someone, do we want, I don't think we need to read the whole thing, but someone. It says, well, it just says, you, cute and funny comedian, in quotes, A, I thought I noticed you in the beginning when my eyes exchanged glances with your very beautiful brown eyes. This was at the point when brown eyes, plural. Brown eyes, not brown. He had an eye patch.

He was bent over. He had an eye patch. That was funny because Jane and I this morning were trying to figure out and right away when it said cute and funny comedians, she thought it was about her. And then I said, it says brown eyes, and it's a girl looking for a guy. So it's not you, Jane. Jane has been the subject of one of these before. She's been the subject of a couple. Oh, really?

Yeah. And one of them guys showed up at the show. Well, because I think she told other comedians she told darcy and darcy was like hey yeah you should totally come down so that guy showed up and he was like he had contact info he went he found the ad oh you could reply anybody could reply i could reply to this right now and say i am uh i am a in quotes let's's get our S on in quotes. I could show you my O in quotes. I'll be picking you up on the B in quotes.

But yeah, it says we have a mutual friend. Get back to me if you want through here or her. And then so that was, you know, that's fine. We know who the comedian in question was. But then there was another one. There was an addendum one where somehow Jenny Apps, who was the one who posted this, realized that this next one would pertain to another comedian. And I didn't know that.

Dave told me later that the follow-up one, and you have to read this one. We'll censor his name. I'm looking for a mulatto male. Which we were, let's stop right there. We did a hilarious bit on the phone where I said mulatto. I thought that was the type of envelope. And then you said, no, that's mulatto.

Or manila. And then what was the other one? The cookie. Oh, that was a cookie. And you said that, what is that called? A mulatto. A mulatto. And then the manila. Or possibly a malamar. was the other one the cookie oh that was a cookie and you said that what is that called a milano a milano and then the manila possibly and then i thought oh i thought that was the daughter from

who's the boss oh no that's elisa milano so mulatto had a lot of hilarious but they misspelled it has a u in it usually uh this one has an i in it uh Because I believe it derives from mule. I thought it was a kind of coffee. I'm looking for mulatto male, and then in parentheses, half white, half black. And it has to be around the year 1955. I don't want to get messed up with no reefer addicts. To quote Back to the Future. 23 to 24 years of age, roughly 180 pounds, and 5'10". His name is blank.

We met at... Blank, let's say... I don't think we need to say anything. I'm going to bleep you. Oh, really? That would be great. I can't wait to hear myself bleep We met at

Can we say where they met? His name was Coo Coo Coo I'm even bleeping that Why? Why? Why? That last part was funny

I know but with With the first part bleeped It has no context You're right That's true We met at So his name is Coo Coo See you can bleep that.

That's three bleeps in a row. I've never been bleeped on the show. It's going to be fun. You've got to do a creative bleep. Like, just play it backwards. No, you've got to do the cuckoo clock. You know, I'm going to do whatever takes the least amount of effort. No, do the cuckoo clock.

Okay. This whole thing. We met at Tommy's Bar and Grill two years ago. She blipped that as well. He is my son's father and took off when I told him I was pregnant. Haven't been able to track him down since I am posting just in case someone who knows him reads this. Please get back to me. He has a beautiful son who is one now.

My son deserves to know his family. This just got sad. It did. But bring it back to hilarious by telling the story of the show that you did with said individual. Oh, I was there as well. Yeah. I've only seen him perform a couple times. And if this is the same gentleman with the same name...

It is a common name, admittedly. Okay, can I do the cuckoo sound? You can edit it in a cuckoo. If it's that, and you put it over top, that'll sound really funny. It's going to be you doing the bleep sound. I think that would be really funny and confusing. It would be confusing. Yeah, so we...

Ivan and I have both seen him perform a couple times, and the last time we saw him... I can't believe I haven't, but maybe I have and I don't seen him perform a couple times, and the last time we saw him... I can't believe I haven't, but maybe I have and I don't remember. I've only ever seen him at Darby's. Okay. And he... Girl, the Who posted this, if you're listening.

Yeah. We know where he hangs out. It's on 4th and McDonald's. I'm almost certain you're not listening. But if she decided to go through a Craigslist personal she may be combing anything and everything in the internet probably typing uh listening to every podcast yeah the uh in the tri-county area baby daddy podcast and i don't want no mama baby mama drama we saw we saw him do his act which uh consisted at the very beginning, he planted a seed in which

he took, there were a bunch of stools on stage, and he put one stool on top of another stool, and then he said, I'll come back to this later. But he gave it a name. He said, this is, it was like Chester or something. Oh, really? He was like, this is my buddy Cliff. We'll come back to this later. Yeah.

So you're already titillated. Oh, yes. Locked in. And then he did his act, and at the very end, he drop-kicked the two stools. And everyone was very off-putting.

Everyone was flabbergasted. What just happened? You know that in his mind, because it's a contest at Darby's uh for the winner gets money uh so he was obviously like this is my ticket to win but we should say at this point uh that anybody who listens to the podcast who isn't in the world of comedy should know that comedy especially stand-up has an open-door policy to any level of insanity that you want to bring to the stage

that somehow you've Rupert Pupkin-ed yourself. Have you ever seen King of Comedy? Rupert Pupkin? Is he the redhead from Harry Potter? No, that's Rupert Gint. Grint. Oh, Grint! That's the sound I make when I can't quite fart, but I almost do. A Grint. Grint. Oh, Grint. That's the sound I make when I can't quite fart, but I almost do.

A Grint. Grint. That'll be the sound for bleeping out. Oh, it's going to be. Going Grint. That's the way that you bleep out. His name is Grint, Grint. Grint and Grinterson.

Okay, anyways. A lot of crazies in comedy yeah and so but like we could fill an entire hour podcast of just that yeah stories now that uh i mean that you don't need to brag about that because we've filled 50 minutes with nothing so far no i, I'm saying, but we could do just, we could probably almost even do a monthly podcast of just what's the craziest thing you saw on stage this month. Oh, that would be great. You're going to get emails about that one. You know what? I beg for emails.

If we can get one. We still only had one. Send your requests, too. We still only had one. Yeah, well, I'll give the address later. All right, the address will be coming up. I think, are we, do we need to, where are we going now? Well, I also want to point out that she knows he's 180 pounds,

probably because she's felt him on top of her. She should have said, 180 pounds, such and such a height, remarkable drop kicker. That would have really oh and after the drop kick uh everyone was flabbergasted bum puzzled even and we uh and then he did a bit that was uh would you call it a bit he he said who wants to see me do a back flip and everybody's like no and like everyone instantly did the physics calculations their head and went he will die i don't want to see a broken neck but here's the thing and then he didn't do it you may or may not know but when i was in the seattle comedy competition one of the guys that

made it right through to the finals was a guy whose big bit included like as a punchline was him doing a backflip well that's funny yeah no it's one that's why he made it to the finals that's you gotta admit yeah uh but one night we were in this club in seattle that has a very low roof and he said like i we were all making fun right we were all joking before the show we're like well i guess the big closers out and he was so fucking pissed said that he was so angry so that you knew his secret so we said they know they've never seen me do so we were all just like well don't we're not saying don't do it because we don't like it which we don't we don't want to see you we don't. But we don't think that you should do it.

We don't want to see you break your neck. And so then during his set, then he did it, and he totally stuck the landing. And for the last probably 40 seconds of his act was him gloating to us. What? What? What? You thought I couldn't do it? So he won the finals.

And everybody in the audience was like, I don't – why is he getting so angry? He stuck the landing. It was great. He's the Carrie Strug of comedy. And yeah, he did. He made it to the finals. If you're out there, you know who you are. Speaking of idiots, I want to bring the news story

up that I read. It's very quick and stupid. We've got plenty of time. Do we? I think it was... I want to A guy, I don't know. What do I care? I think it was, I want to say Atlanta. I'm not sure. But somewhere in the States.

I only read the headline. Basically, a man went into a bank and tried to cash a check for $360 billion. In 10s and 20s. He had the check and it wasn't even made out to him. He said, he's like, I got it from my girlfriend's mom To start a record label 360 billion Which would make him

If he catched it the richest man in the world I want to start a record label Cause this is the time to get into the record industry That's off the ground money I know it takes a lot to get a business off the ground Have you ever heard the story About the guy That he went into business

Counterfeiting Like coins Oh catch me if you can Yeah I saw that No the movie blank check That's what he's talking about Where the kid gets a blank check, builds a water slide next to his parents' house.

They don't know it's him. He uses a Macintosh computer to alter his voice. Wait, that was It Can Happen to You. What happened to that? That was the Brian Bonsal vehicle. I just watched Richie Rich the other day. It was on TV. It is a really, it's like a phenomenally bad movie.

It's like King Ralph for kids. I like it when the butler. That would be like Gene Chalit's review. It's King Ralph for kids, but like enthusiastically. This is a good thing. The scene in that movie where the butler like beats the guy up because his name's Herbert and everybody calls him Herb and that's the big joke. He's like, no, it's Herbert.

No, the butler's name is Hershey. Is it Hershey? Yeah. I think in the movie it was Herbert. You're thinking of earlier pre-podcast when we were mispronouncing Sherbert. No, it was with Macaulay Culkin. The Macaulay Culkin one, right?

Yeah. The Richie Rich movie. But anyway, he fights, he like beats up this biker in a bathroom and then his line when he walks away that he throws down is, never mess with a guy that has very sensitive teeth that is a good line where are you and wherever you are keep warm right I think he's doing fine are you do you think

because it's built them yeah but he's made a bit of a comeback a couple years ago speaking of comebacks i've read a rather uh angry blog about screech did you read that yeah yeah can i can i go on the the record as saying that guy is like one of the worst humans i've ever been should we bleep his name here bleep it when i say his name but but bleep it with this. Screech! I'm not going to do that. That's a lot of work. Yeah, anyways, he is one of the worst human beings ever.

Did you see his penis porno? Yeah, and if he ever comes back to Vancouver, I'm going to issue this right now. I challenge Screech to a fist fight in the street. He'll charge you money for that. No, I'm fine with that. I will pay 50 bucks to fight Screech to the feet. As long as it's to the death. His death.

Yeah, it's only going to be his death. There's no way I'm going to lose that fight. Well, because I'll help. Yeah, and everybody with a conscience will jump in. Yeah, he's... Tear him asunder. He tear him asunder he's the worst he's the worst he's not a very good comedian he charged i i was introduced to him way back when he played at yuck yucks i was introduced to him by one of the staff at yuck yucks that was the name of the guy yuck yucks was manon uh and he brought me over and he said to him he's

like uh dustin this is graham clark a local he brought me over and he said to him he's like uh dustin this is graham clark a local vancouver comedian and i want to get my photo taken with him and so i got my photo taken with him i was hey hey cool and he was like ten dollars and i was like oh no like didn't you just hear the exchange where i was introduced to you as like a fellow comic and and he goes well you know how it is and I'm like I really don't I have no idea how it is to be that much of a douche how is it to be Dustin Diamond

and like a douche bag like douche bag extraordinaire that was probably him that wrote Mars is Gay I bet you that's extraordinary I've seen his porno apparently like the scripts that he's selling are just Xerox copies of... You heard about that, right?

No. After his show, this is how fucking hard up and what a bag of shit he is. After his show, he'll sell t-shirts and he'll sell you a photo of you. Oh, and that's the thing. And it's a joke that I do on stage actually sometimes. Is in the photo, I made a very deadpan face. And he's aping it up in the photo. So it looks like he's having his picture taken with me.

Yeah. Which is great. And it's still up on my bulletin board at home. But the thing is, he will sell scripts. Which he says on stage, I will sell you original scripts from Saved by the Bell. He's just got a cleaning house and I got all these scripts. But they're just photocopied. He's got tons of them.

He's got millions of them. And he'll just sell these photocopied scripts. And they're like $20. That's ridiculous. He is the worst. And the fact that he's a part of comedy, where we all like to hang out and live and tell our jokes, is the worst. He should never be allowed. And he's way famous-er than us.

Yeah, and I can't wait until... How's he going to die? How old is he? He's probably approaching the death age. I think he's past 27. But he may still be 33. I think he's probably older than 33. Although, I was looking up Mark Polagosalar earlier.

Yeah, which I like. I imagine that guy's a right on guy. And he's only 1975, so he's probably 32, 33. Yeah. So imagine, like, here's my image. So Screech, your day's going to come. Totally. Imagine, though.

If you're listening. Yeah, you're done but it yeah I'm gonna kill you in a fistfight I'm gonna kill you in a fist fight have you seen the photo of him on the internet where he's wearing the toque and the glasses he looks like it is the douchebag is headshot possible that is fabulous yeah no and nothing about him is fabulous. Yeah, I forget what I was going to say about him. Oh, well.

Well, he's the worst. Yeah, he's pretty good. Yeah. A.C. Slater, on the other hand, you know that guy. I don't know, Mary Lopez? I think he's probably all right. I think he's doing pretty well for himself. No, he's awesome.

He was on Bike Cops, which was the best show ever. Oh, Bike Cops. And he was on Pacific Blue, wasn't that what it was called? He did a Dancing with the Stars season. Yeah, no, he's awesome. He was on Bike Cops, which was the best show ever. Oh, Bike Cops. And he was on Pacific Blue, wasn't that what it was called? He did a Dancing with the Stars season. Yeah, no, he's awesome. What's that? He may have won Dancing with the Stars. And he was also on some entertainment show as a correspondent.

He's like an extra correspondent. Yeah, he's straight up. Yeah. He's got the goods. Screech is the only one of that cast who turned out to be a fucknut. I wonder about Lark Voorhees no man she went on she was on like

Bold and the Beautiful or something I watched that clip from that soap opera from last week that does look like it's a shot on a security camera it's garbage it's really bad I think it's on at 130 or 2 on global so if anyone's got channel 11 if your TV goes that high, I recommend...

What if there are people that listen to this that aren't from Vancouver? I find that hard to believe. What if there's one guy from Romania? He's probably just enjoying the free English lessons. A few people told me this week that they enjoyed the podcast. Really? Yeah. Who?

My friend Dan Werb, a friend dan werb aka woodhands who's a musician and you're giving shout outs right now yeah yeah yeah why not why not can we do that's a that's a segment we could do shout outs or just shout out to people that we like i'm gonna inaugurate it you go ahead here Do some more shout-outs. Hey, Daniel. I remember elementary school. You should come back to town, and then maybe we can record a podcast together. Also, Connor Holler, who runs the Bronx Cheer Show at Cafe Montmartre. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very funny. He told me he listens to the podcast, and I appreciate that. Maybe he can be on the show. That's a good shout-out. Honestly, if you listen to this show you have uh you have a really sarah bino is going to be on the show 85 chance of being on the show yeah we're gonna wear graham's 80 for 85 funny 85 funny 50 of the time those are some stats you can live by my my friend. Well, DJs are known for their statistic abilities. Let's wrap this up. Okay.

Well, thanks everyone for listening. If you want to contact us, we are available 24-7 at stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com. And you can see some of the stuff we referenced. some of the stuff we referenced we'll post pictures of the obscure references we made at

stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com I love that that's my favorite part is the blog it really makes me laugh so Ivan tell us about

your show that you do each and every Sunday Ivan does a show every Sunday every Sunday every Sunday night at the Jupiter Lounge on Butte and Davie.

Yeah, super comfy seats. Upstairs. Good hilarious jokes. So no wheelchairs. A patio if you're a smoker, right? Can they still smoke on the patios? The back patio, I believe, although if the government finds out. Back door galore.

We're in trouble. So don't tell the government if you come. Yeah, it's a good show. So people should show up. Five hours get in, show up. Always the best comedians in Vancouver. Always? Really?

Well, maybe not always. Okay. But sometimes. And this Wednesday, last show at Lime-a-roo. Much more important than the Jupiter. No, no. Not true. On an equal level. No. If you're going to come to a show this week, go there. Last show at Lime-a-roo. Much more important than Jupiter. Not true. On an equal level.

No. If you're going to come to a show this week, go there. Last show at Lime this Wednesday 9.30. I'm going to wear a shiny silver suit. Not lying about it. I don't have the pants, but I'll find them. I'm wearing a jacket, though. Shiny silver. Fucking awesome.

Black slacks. F-word for coitus. I like that F word for love making shiny but yeah it's gonna be great and

Dave anything to plug that very same night I'll be at a different show earlier yeah and then you'll come up late which has been the way

forever but thanks a lot everybody for listening I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. And come back next week and listen again. Stop podcasting yourself, everybody. Thank you.