Stuff You Should Know - Short Stuff: The History of Paternity Testing
Episode Date: November 6, 2019Paternity testing. It wasn't science for many years, yet they still tried to do it. Learn all about it in 12 minutes. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnys...tudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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But you might have an Airbnb to find out what your place could be earning at air bnb.ca
Hey and welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh. There's Chuck. There's Dave be quiet. Let's go
So we're talking about paternity testing in the history of paternity testing
Which is amazing because it's all pretty new as far as really being able to do paternity testing
Yeah, well you and I grew up in a world where I mean pretty much is from the moment we realized that that would be an issue
That somebody would need to solve it was pretty much solved because if we we grew up in a world where you could genetically test for paternity
Like testing markers on white blood cells and produce basically a 99.99%
Accurate assessment of whether somebody was the father of a child or not correct
Prior to us coming of age in this age of genetic paternity testing, however
It was a real problem Chuck. Yeah, like a long-standing problem apparently. Yeah, should we talk about the story of st. Anthony?
I was hoping you'd ask
12th century priest st. Anthony at one point a woman came to him and she said, you know what my jealous husband
Thinks that he's not the father. He thinks I stepped out and cuckolded him. Yeah, and
He's threatening to kill me and this child
And so Anthony went to the family and said I'm gonna do a test. It's called a paternity test
And he went to the little baby and said who's your daddy? Yeah, and the baby pointed
To the jealous husband. This is an infant and said that is my father
This is an infant end of story
so
St. Anthony said ha cha cha and like left as he was known to do and became a saint shortly after that's right
The end of this episode
No, it's not the end because a very smart person named
Nara millenich who's a history professor at Barnard College
Has authored a book called paternity colon the elusive quest for the father
where it really and Dave ruse our old pal wrote this article and
And and did he talk to Nara? I
Believe so. Yeah, and even interviewed her and she really got down on this topic of
researching the history of paternity and it's pretty interesting because
In the early days like all early days of science and when there was a lot of pseudoscience going on
Yeah, they were doing all kinds of wacky stuff
Yeah, because again people were like, what are we what are we gonna do?
We have no idea how to prove how to prove paternity or disprove paternity and there is a lot of people who really want
An answer to this so because the need was so great
Quacks were allowed to kind of fill the void for a little while, especially apparently in the 1920s. There was a
The nation was gripped in a panic that babies were being switched in maternity wards at hospitals too
So it wasn't just the idea that your wife stepped out on you or had an affair
With another man and that this wasn't your child like men and women wanted to be able to prove a child was theirs
But there was just no way to do that scientifically. So like you said pseudoscience said hey, we'll try this for a little while
Yeah, and so a quack might step in and say we need to look at the roof of the mouth
because
We want to determine if they've eaten any Captain Crunch peanut butter cereal
Yeah, it's just the flesh bloody flesh dangling from the roof of the mouth. No, they thought the ridges on the roof of the
Mouth had patterns sort of like a fingerprint that were passed from father to child
Mm-hmm complete bunk. Yeah, but imagine that exam. I'll bet that wasn't fun
I don't know block draw
anyone
Yeah, like how are they gonna see the roof of your mouth?
Gonna feel around or maybe do an impression test that does not sound pleasant
What someone's sticking their fingers in the roof of your mouth. Yeah and feeling yeah seems calming to me
What?
Eugenics comes next
And that is like hey, let's look at your let's measure your nose and ears and feel your hair and
We'll determine that way if this is your father, right and be really racist about it, right?
And then a dude came along in the 1920s named Dr. Albert Abrams and his
His bunk science machine the ocelophore
Ooh nice pronunciation Charles. Yes. So Dr. Abrams not only came up with the ocelophore
I'm gonna say it a different way the ocelophore. Okay
He came up with what the ocelophore measures which makes the whole thing totally made up
But he said that if you measure blood with an ocelophore
No, I'm not gonna say it either way
You will get what's called the electronic reactions of Abrams
Which is a measure of the electrical
movement or
electrical
vibrations in blood and
That the vibrations in the blood was related to your ethnic heritage. That's right
And if you're Irish, you're gonna vibrate your blood will at 15 ohms to your Jewish seven ohms
Everybody knows that and on down the line
And so this was the only thing going at the time so judges turn to Abrams in particular judge named Thomas Graham
In San Francisco
He hired him to determine a very high-profile paternity case involving a guy named Paul Vitori
Who was not gonna minute wait a minute on behalf of all listeners Chuck. Oh, I'm sorry
That's how you're gonna say Paul Vitori Paul Vitori. Thank you
And he said I'm not gonna pay child support for my infant daughter. It's not my daughter
so they brought in Abrams to court and
They did the little blood vibration and said you are the father because your vibe your blood is vibrating at the correct
Rate yeah, and that was that and everybody said this is a gross miscarriage of justice and the judge is like
What else are you gonna do?
We can't do any like this is just as good a guess as any but what's funny is this was in the 1920s. I believe right?
Yeah, within a decade
There would actually be a scientific basis for testing blood to determine paternity one way or the other and Chuck
We're gonna talk about that right after this message break
Hey friends when you're staying at an Airbnb
You might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn?
So I was pretty surprised to hear about Lisa in Manitoba who got the idea to Airbnb the backyard guest house over childhood home now
The extra income helps pay her mortgage. So yeah, you might not realize it
But you might have an Airbnb to find out what your place could be earning at air
Bnb.ca
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Thank you very much. So we we tease science finally coming into the picture
And it came through with blood types basically they figured out that there was such thing as blood types
Which by the way, we did a really great live show on blood types before. Yeah, that was a good one
I see so
And my father-in-law shouted out that I'm pregnant
Oh, that's right. Yeah from the from the audience while we were testing my blood. Yeah, we tested blood on stage
Yeah, and got he got bigger laughs than I did the entire show
But anyway, the the the fact that blood types were proven somebody figured out that oh wait
You inherit your blood types from your parents
So we can go a pretty far away in ruling somebody in or out as the possible father of a child
Yeah, not a hundred percent obviously or ninety nine point nine nine, but there are some things we know
If the baby has a B blood type and you know the mother has type a blood type then the father's got to have either B or a B
And so they could really narrow it down in a scientific way like a hundred times more than they ever could in the past
Yep, and this came like really to the public for
Which is a phrase I just made up uh-huh during a Charlie Chaplin paternity case Charlie Chaplin
The beloved Charlie Chaplin was sued for paternity by his longtime assistant Joan Barry
Yeah, he had a knack for
the young ladies and lovin' them and leaving them and
Joan Barry was 23 when Chaplin was 54 and she said this little baby Carol Ann is Charlie's daughter and
I'm kind of tired of this pattern that he's developed of
Getting young women pregnant and then leaving them in the cold
I'm gonna take him to court and
They took him to court and they used science and they showed that he was not the father of Carol Ann, right?
So that was it, right?
No, no, you'd think he'd be off the hook and that would have been the case had that had this case been tried 10 15 years later
But instead the jury said well, okay, he's not biologically the father
But because of his close relationship with Joan, he is Carol Ann's father for all intents and purposes
So we're you're still going to be allowed to sue him for child support. That's right of the 12-person jury
There were 11 women and one man and they roundly said sorry Charlie
Right, and he just sat there silently. Yeah, that's right and walked into a wall. Yeah, his facial expression said it all though
So I think what when 1953 13 years later
California law said
Actually, we're not gonna decide this by jury like that if we take a scientific test and it shows that someone's not the father
Then they're not the father right
We're just gonna leave it at that and then after California passed that law other states said, you know, it's not a bad idea all together
So we're gonna do that too. That's right
and then the whole thing just like we were saying all of it just went to the wayside when they figured out genetic testing first in the
80s
But then by the 90s it had been developed enough and the tests had become cheap enough that it was very much widespread and used
Routinely and had completely supplanted blood typing as the test for paternity
So much so and it's gotten so cheap that mori povich has an ongoing thing on his mori show the daytime talk show
Oh, yeah, where yeah, he routinely tests and then reveals on air the results of paternity tests for guests
And like plays it up. There's all sorts of drama and apparently they have mugs and t-shirts with the catchphrase
You are not the father emblazoned on it. Wow. Hi drama and every every day
Connie Chung gets up and looks herself in the mirror and she's like I've got dignity enough for the both of us
Always forget they're married. Yeah, because of things like the coffee mugs that say you are not the father
It kind of distances the two in your mind, you know, you got povich
Yeah, that's right. So obviously it like you said it got so cheap that you can get these tests now for
Around 15 bucks or less, which is a great deal. But then of course you got to pay the lab fees
That's where they get you with the add-ons exactly over $100 to to get that lab tested because you can
Go to your local drugstore, but that's not going to tell you anything. It's not like a pregnancy test
No
No, you still have to have it read by a tea leave reader. That's right
I think that's it right Chuck. Yeah, I've never taken a paternity test nor have I
Hooray hooray Chuck
If you want to know more about paternity testing in the history of it
Go check out this article by Dave ruse on how stuff works and since I said that that means it's the end of
This short stuff short stuff
Because I
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