Stuff You Should Know - SYSK Selects: How Cremation Works
Episode Date: May 12, 2018Cremation is a burial process practiced around the world, but how exactly does it work? Josh and Chuckers take a detailed look at cremation's history, practices and controversies in this episode. Lea...rn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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On the podcast, Hey Dude, the 90s called,
David Lasher and Christine Taylor,
stars of the cult classic show, Hey Dude,
bring you back to the days of slip dresses
and choker necklaces.
We're gonna use Hey Dude as our jumping off point,
but we are going to unpack and dive back
into the decade of the 90s.
We lived it, and now we're calling on all of our friends
to come back and relive it.
Listen to Hey Dude, the 90s called
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or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Lance Bass, host of the new iHeart podcast,
Frosted Tips with Lance Bass.
Do you ever think to yourself, what advice would Lance Bass
and my favorite boy bands give me in this situation?
If you do, you've come to the right place
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And a different hot, sexy teen crush boy bander
each week to guide you through life.
Tell everybody, ya everybody, about my new podcast
and make sure to listen so we'll never, ever have to say.
Bye, bye, bye.
Listen to Frosted Tips with Lance Bass
on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hey everybody, it's me, Josh,
and for this week's SYS Case Selects,
I've chosen how cremation works.
It came out back in August of 2010,
and at the time, death was a very hot topic.
So please forgive us if we seem a little irreverent,
a little over-enthusiastic when we're talking about this,
but it's a really interesting episode,
and I still stand by it today.
Hope you enjoy.
Welcome to Stuff You Should Know from HowStuffWorks.com.
Hey, and welcome to the podcast.
I'm Josh Clark.
There's Charles W. Chuckers Bryant
with a full beard, actually.
Yeah.
So you know what that would smell like if it caught fire?
Dude, it would smell like mayonnaise.
It smelled worse than mayonnaise ever did.
Jerry's in there like, bleh.
She doesn't like the smell of burning hair, huh?
Or mayonnaise.
Burning mayonnaise would be particularly bad
if you had hair on top of it.
Burning hairy mayonnaise is the worst thing you can burn.
So, Chuck, hopefully that will never happen
while you're alive.
It could possibly happen after you're deceased,
if you're cremated, like a fella named Ralph White,
who you know about.
I have never heard of the guy.
You have, too.
Chuck, do you remember that horrid webcast we used to have?
Yes.
There was a guy.
Oh, yeah.
He was the president, past president of the Adventures
and Venturers Club, and not to be confused
with the one from South Park.
This guy was a real life adventurer,
and he was, I think he was like a cameraman
for a skydiving show called Ripcord, National Geographic.
He was there when they discovered the Titanic.
Yeah, he buddies with Jim Cameron.
Yeah, he was second director, I think, on Titanic.
Yeah, Jim Cameron was also in that club,
the little club in LA.
That's right.
Yeah, I'll bet Ralph White got Jim Cameron in.
Yeah, probably.
And are we calling him Jim now?
I didn't realize we were on that friendly basis.
Jim or Jimmy.
Well, anyway, Ralph White had a pretty cool post,
not post-mortem, he had a very cool posthumous story,
and that was he was cremated,
and his friends were so dedicated and loyal to him
that whenever they go on a travel now,
they take about a 10th, about a teaspoon
or a 10th of a teaspoon, some very small amount,
of Ralph White's cremated remains,
and scatter them wherever they go.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, I think he's in the whaling wall in Jerusalem.
He's in Lake Bacall.
He went on a space flight,
and Ralph White's posthumous adventures
kind of illustrate all the wonderful things
you can do with a cremated body,
which is one of the reasons why people choose
to be cremated.
It's highly portable, right?
Absolutely.
And it's nothing new, Chuck.
Cremation's been going on for a very long time, hasn't it?
Yeah, we won't get in, I mean,
we could rattle off every country and when they started,
but...
We really could because of this fine, fine article.
That was very detailed.
Written by a freelancer, right, Michelle Kim?
I've never heard of this person before,
but this is a really great article.
But it has been around since prehistoric times.
China's been doing it since 8,000 BC.
That's more than 10,000 years ago.
More than 10,000 years ago.
One part of the history I did find interesting, though,
and fitting since we did our Freemason cast
was the Freemasons during the French Revolution
kind of pushed for cremation
because it was the whole, not anti-religion,
but just sort of mixing it up with religion.
No, they were anti-Catholic church.
Well, yeah.
Very much against the church,
and they were saying, if you have yourself cremated,
it's kind of like sticking your thumb up your nose
to the church, right?
Well, because Catholics said you can't get cremated
for a long time.
Yeah, well, it kind of contradicts
the whole resurrection thing, you know?
I would say so.
The body's kind of got to be intact.
It's like the one thing we can't do, you know?
Let's burn it.
We can rise from the dead, but if you're burned.
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, and you don't want to come back
and find that you're nothing but ashes
because you're going to be ticked off, right?
Right.
The actual cremator, the cremation chamber,
which I like to call the cremator,
even though that's not right at all.
Right, it sounds like a Krebstar product
from the Adventures of Pete and Pete.
It does.
It was invented in the late 1800s by Professor Brunetti,
and it started in earnest in the United States
in Pennsylvania in 1876.
Yeah.
When Pennsylvania's a non-licensed state still,
which I thought was interesting.
Is it really?
Well, there's a little bit of a scandal
that we'll talk about later.
Yeah.
That apparently, the crematory business,
you either have fine upstanding people
or like scum of the earth running these places, right?
Yeah.
Let's talk about how this works, all right?
Yeah, well, I got a step for you real quick, though,
as far as its popularity.
In 1958, 3.6% of bodies were cremated,
and just a few years ago, that number is at 34%,
and they expected to be half by 2025.
Right, well, there's a lot of reasons why, right?
I mean, we're running out of land.
Sure.
There's a lot of people who think
that burials aren't so green.
Which is true.
Yeah.
But yeah, because they use really nice woods and metals,
and you have to pour cement lining,
the bodies and balm, so it's going to eventually leak out
all of those things, right?
We'll talk later about whether or not cremation is green.
And a spoiler is, it's not.
Sort of is, but it's not.
Well, it's not green, but.
It's definitely not green.
It's not brown, either.
It's not black.
It's somewhere in between.
So, Chuckers, you ready to talk?
Yeah, just the actual process is pretty
gruesome.
Initially, they store the body in a cool room
just to keep it nice and fresh for the cremation.
It's usually examined by a coroner,
and they have to sign off and say, this is good to go.
Because you can't exhume the body later on if you need to.
Yeah, exactly.
So no accidental death that hasn't been fully vetted.
Like, I imagine they wouldn't cremate someone that
had any kind of relation to a crime or anything like that,
or at least not for a long time.
And then, what happens is, they remove some things
from your body if you have the following.
Pacemaker, breast implants, silicone breast implants,
prosthesis, or cancer seeds.
The little radioactive seeds that they inject into a tumor,
and then shoot with like a laser,
or a radio frequency generator?
Yeah, none of this stuff is good for cremation.
So they remove that from your body.
But there's some things that can't be removed.
Well, they could remove it, but they tend not to.
Easy fillings, mercury fillings.
Yeah, jewelry and glasses.
Like, some people want, like, you
would be buried with your glasses on.
They want you cremated with your glasses on.
Right.
But in some countries, I didn't look this up,
so I don't know what countries.
There are laws against anybody who's
cremating a body from touching anything on the body.
Right.
Right?
You got to do it how you get it.
Right.
That's what they say on the shirts
that you can buy, I think, in the gift shop.
And then they put the body, once it's
been removed to these things, into a flammable box,
like a pine or cardboard box.
Or one made of hairy mayonnaise.
Yeah, they slide it into.
The incinerator's already preheated, by the way.
Yes, to at least 1,100 degrees Fahrenheit,
which is 593 degrees Celsius, I think,
off the top of my head.
Yeah.
And that's hot, Chuck.
It's got to be hot.
But that's not like you don't just put the body in,
and then it just burns, it just catches fire, right?
No.
They actually shoot a column of flame at the torso.
Like a jet engine.
Yeah, basically.
So once the body's in, what's it called, the retort?
It's called a retort.
They slide it in there on the old metal rollers and families.
Sometimes you can watch this process through the window
if you want.
Yeah.
And if you're Hindu, and if it's a Hindu cremation,
you can actually push go.
Right, yeah, I guess to start the column of flame, right?
Uh-huh.
You're just like, so long, and Tina?
So here comes the aunt Tina, the Hindu.
So the door is sealed up, obviously.
Like you said, they aim at your torso,
and then this is what happens.
This is the gruesome part, as you
would expect when you have a jet engine,
jet flame shot at your torso.
It ignites the container initially, obviously.
Your body starts to dry out.
All that water that's in your body leaves.
Pretty quick.
Yeah, I would imagine.
Your soft tissue tightens up, it burns up, and it vaporizes.
Your skin discolors and blisters and splits just gross.
Like a bratwurst on a grill.
Yeah, exactly.
The muscle chars, it flexes, and your limbs actually
can extend like your limbs are moving.
I looked all over the place to find discussions
about this stuff, about like a body sitting up.
That's the closest thing I saw was, does a body sit up?
I think it was a wiki answer, so it has zero credibility.
But if your muscles are contracting or tightening
or doing anything, like, yeah, your arms can go up.
Crazy.
I mean, imagine the people in 8,000 BC in China.
They're like, wait, they're not dead.
They're like waving.
Yeah, I had a goldfish.
I tried to flush one time, and I put him in,
and he started swimming again.
And then I'd put him back in the tank, and he just floated.
So it was just like the water motion that was making him look like?
Well, no, I didn't flush it.
When I put him in the toilet, he started moving.
Every single time, it was weird.
That is weird.
I'm pretty convinced he was dead, though.
Or he was by the time I froze him in a block of ice.
You'll find out when you get to heaven.
That's right.
So your muscles have charred and tightened,
and your limbs are flailing about, and your bones,
obviously, are the last thing to go, and they are calcified,
and then kind of just flake off and crumble
into little bone bits.
Yeah, and Chuck, the bones that are, or the stuff that is left,
are these charred bones that are, really, it
doesn't take a whole lot, I think, to pulverize them.
But it does take an extra step, and they actually
do hold their shape, so it'd go from a body in a box
to a charred skeleton is what it ultimately comes down to.
And you either rake or sweep the remaining bone material
into something called a cremulator.
Cremulator.
And that's a grinder that grinds up everything
and pulverizes it into this fine, grainy, well, actually
coarse, grainy powder ash.
Yeah, they described it as, ash is sort of a weird word,
because it's not like charred ash from your fire.
It's more like gravel, they said, like little tiny bits
of gravel.
Right, because it's pulverized bone, right?
Yeah.
And it usually takes about two to three hours,
depending on the kind of crematory, I guess, whatever
machine you put it in.
Yeah, there's different kinds.
Right.
And how big your bones are, too.
That has something to do with it, too.
But also, I found that it depends on the level of,
well, there's something called the EnerTech 4.
You should go on to matthewscrematorium.com.
They have specs, and it's just weird,
because these guys are, like, selling their crematorium.
Right.
And here's all the specs for them.
This thing is like state-of-the-art EnerTech 4
is, and it burns the body in no more than 75 minutes.
Really?
That's pretty good.
That must have been the modern ones that they say
are all, like, automated now.
Well, they also sell them ones that burn a body in four hours.
Oh, really?
So it's, like, low end to high end.
Oh, OK.
You know what I mean?
Pay for what you get.
Yeah.
And at the end of this whole process,
you're going to end up with about three to nine pounds of ash.
And actually, that's where it depends on your bones.
They say it doesn't matter, like, how fat you are,
because I think that burns away pretty easily.
Yeah, I would think so.
It's like your bone structure.
Yeah.
Bone's tough to burn.
I guess so.
Hey, dude, the 90s called David Lasher and Christine Taylor
stars of the cult classic show, Hey Dude,
bring you back to the days of slip dresses and choker
necklaces.
We're going to use Hey Dude as our jumping off point,
but we are going to unpack and dive back
into the decade of the 90s.
We lived it, and now we're calling on all of our friends
to come back and relive it.
It's a podcast packed with interviews, co-stars,
friends, and nonstop references to the best decade ever.
Do you remember going to Blockbuster?
Do you remember Nintendo 64?
Do you remember getting Frosted Tips?
Was that a cereal?
No, it was hair.
Do you remember AOL Instant Messenger and the dial-up
sound like poltergeist?
So leave a code on your best friend's beeper,
because you'll want to be there when the nostalgia starts
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Each episode will rival the feeling
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Listen to Hey Dude, the 90s called on the iHeart radio app,
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So Chuck, these things, we said that they are preheated
to about 1,100 degrees, right?
But they get up to about 2,000.
Yeah.
So you can't just build this thing.
You can't build an inner tech or whatever you're building
out of regular brick or cement or something like that.
I think it'd explode the first time you tried to do this.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
So they just specialize composite brick material.
And actually, over time, the interior
will be eaten away by the heat, and the expansion
and contraction will actually lose surface.
So apparently, what's recommended
is after the bricks lose about half of their width,
they have to be replaced.
Yeah, and it sounds kind of crude,
but the way it's described in the article
and the way I've heard it described
is it's sort of like a pizza oven.
Yeah.
They're made of similar things.
Right.
Cook a pizza.
Cook a body.
Cook a body.
So these things go for 250,000 down to 80,000, something
like that.
And they use natural gas or propane or propane accessories
or diesel, I've seen.
But they used to burn coal.
Yeah.
And I imagine that was a real pain.
Oh, yeah.
Incinerate a body.
Back in the 60s, I think, they were still using coal.
Gotta keep stoking that fire.
Right.
Another thing I thought was cool was,
and I started thinking, too, when you burn a fire,
obviously, you see ash is kind of floating all over the place.
And I thought, well, surely they've
got to account for that when you're burning a body.
And they do.
They ignite a second flame in a side chamber,
and that burns off dust that's trying to escape the retort.
And some of them even shoot water out
at the top to make sure none of the dust escapes
out of the top of the plume, I guess.
It's called wet scrubbing.
Wet scrubbing?
Yes.
Yeah, well, what else did we do?
Oh, that was the a fluoride thing, right?
Scrubbing the inside of the.
And carbon sequestration.
Yeah.
My brain is getting too full these days.
Mine, too.
We need to stop doing the show.
I know.
And after it's all done, you can actually get remains,
cremated remains.
And I found that they say that you shouldn't
call them cremains.
That's what the CANA says.
Why?
They just say it's sort of a crude thing
that people, non-industry people, say, let's just shorten it.
And they're like, they think it's disrespectful.
Gotcha.
So we won't say the word cremains.
But you can have your cremated remains mailed to you
via USPS if you want.
But that's it in the United States.
You can't do it via FedEx or UPS.
Or you can't if they know what's in the box.
And I couldn't find out why.
There's no explanation on UPSs or FedEx site.
They just say, you can't.
We won't ship that.
They also won't ship a disinterred body.
Well, thank goodness for that.
I guess.
But the only thing I could, the only suggestion
I could find why they wouldn't do that is you can't ensure
cremated remains.
Oh, yeah, that's probably it.
Which I imagine they insure everything somehow.
And they want to get with a lawsuit.
Right.
Because people get mad when you lose there.
Yeah, probably so.
The other cool thing about USPS, though,
is that they make sure to point out
that it's got to be a sift-proof box.
You don't want ashes leaking out the side.
And you have to have someone who's got a sign for it.
Right, so usually if you don't get an urn or whatever,
when you get your cremated remains,
the crematorium will have them in basically a plastic bag
inside maybe a plastic lined box designed
to hold this kind of thing, right?
Yeah, and there may be just very small remnants
of other people with your remains.
Like they do the best job they can.
They burn one body at a time.
Like if you're on the up and up, as a good cremator
should be.
But inevitably, when you're talking about ash
and you're sweeping it out, there
might be a little bit of Joe mixed in with Harry,
if you know what I mean.
Well, I know what you mean.
So Chuck, also I guess the industry standard
is just like you don't want to switch babies in a hospital.
At the other end of life, you don't
want to switch cremated remains of dead people, right?
That's a good policy.
So apparently, they'll stick a tag in your mouth,
like a metal disc, or they'll put it
somewhere on your person so that when you're melted down,
this thing's still there so you can be identified.
You've got paperwork that goes with you from the moment
you come to the crematorium to the moment you leave that's
supposed to be with you every step of the way.
And basically, all of this is supposed
to avoid a mix-up, right?
It's supposed to.
It doesn't always, especially when the crematorium operator
or owner isn't on the up and up, as you said.
And there's been plenty of examples of that,
haven't there been?
Yeah, I was a little alarmed to find out
how little regulation goes on in some states.
Yeah, only until the Tri-State Crematorium
scandal of, I think, 2002 did Georgia close its loopholes
and now all crematoriums have to be licensed by the state.
Yeah, in Georgia, and I actually got a different number here.
She said 23 of the 50 states licensed.
I've actually got only eight do not license is what I found.
Oh, that's better.
But if you look, all of these examples in this article
are in the 2000s, so I wonder if that
caused a sweeping expansion or crematorium regulation reform.
I would say so, because what happened in Georgia,
we'll tell you in a sec, but if you see this on the news
and you're in, like, Pennsylvania,
they don't want that kind of news hitting their state.
So I would imagine it probably spurred some action.
It hit Pennsylvania, bud.
Yeah, it did.
We'll talk about the Georgia guy first.
Yeah, Ray Brent Marsh pleaded guilty and apologized.
He owned a crematorium in Noble, Georgia,
and neither stuck nor I know where that is, so don't ask.
I think it's probably in the Northwest,
because it's where Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama
come together, which is why I call it tri-state crematorium.
You're serving all three states.
Sure.
And in all three states, the bodies of the beloved deceased
were basically half buried out in the backyard,
because the cremator broke down and they just never got it
fixed.
Yeah, the incinerator broke.
And so I think 336 bodies in total were found.
And I found that originally they could only
charge him with accepting money and fraud
for services not rendered.
Yeah, there was no law in the books.
They hit him with some other stuff, though.
What else did they do?
I think it must have come out after this article.
He was actually charged with almost 800 counts
of theft and abuse of a corpse.
So they actually charged him with stealing these corpses.
You don't want to go to prison with an abuse of a corpse
wrap on your head.
They'll find out about that.
Yeah, and he was sentenced to 8,000 years in prison
and plea bargain that down to 12 years somehow.
Did you say 8,000 years?
Yeah.
That was almost a spit take.
Yeah, you were drinking your beep drink
and you almost spit it out.
So yeah, 8,000 down to 12, which is pretty good deal for him.
There was a $36 million settlement from 58 funeral homes
that sent bodies to this guy.
So they sued the funeral homes.
And then they brought a suit, an $80 million
civil suit settlement against this guy and his father's estate.
And they probably don't have that kind of dose.
So they're probably going to do what
happens when that happens, which is you go up
to the insurance company.
Oh, yeah.
The Georgia Farm Bureau.
If the guy didn't even get around
to having the incinerator fixed, he
didn't have 80 million.
He's got 300 bodies in his backyard, but yeah.
So he's in jail right now, as far as I know.
Oh, yeah.
Almost for 8,000 years.
I know.
That's a long sentence.
You said Pennsylvania didn't want that to happen.
Probably not.
It did in 2005.
What happened there?
There was a guy who ran a crematorium,
and he had to deal with the local women's hospital
to cremate the remains of preterm babies, basically
aborted fetuses. This guy's job was to incinerate them.
That's probably not a fun contract to sign.
No, I wouldn't think so.
Even if that's the way you make your money,
you can't feel great about closing that deal.
Right.
Yeah, you don't go out for a big fat steak after that one.
Exactly.
The authorities, I guess, were tipped off,
and they went into his garage and found in boxes
the remains of 300 fetuses.
Actually, 19 of them were post-term.
Really?
So they were born children that he was supposed to cremate,
and they didn't.
But they could only get them on 19 counts,
because they were unborn.
Right.
So they weren't technically human beings
under the eyes of the law, so he didn't get anything for those.
But for the 19, he got in some trouble.
But he had them in boxes in his garage, too,
which is apparently the MO of the shady crematorium
operator.
Yeah, I hope they threw the book at him.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure they did.
Makes me angry.
Can't you tell how angry I am?
In Lake Elsinore, California, Josh, in 2003,
a dodgy owner was selling body parts for medical research,
like heads to people, which means that he
was cutting these heads off.
Oh, yeah.
And he was sentenced to 20 years in prison.
And does that say, just say, prison?
And then in Mississippi, there was a really nice guy,
named Mark Seep, who was mixing human remains together,
giving out wrong ashes, dumping them into trash bins.
And he was found guilty and put in jail, too.
Yeah, did you say that Ray Brent Marsh was giving people
wood ash and cement?
I didn't mention that.
But yeah, that's what he did.
Yeah, because I mean, it's not like he was just like,
oh, I got nothing.
They burned up entirely.
He was like, here's some cement and an urn.
Yeah.
Thanks for the money.
Yeah, I understand a guy's incinerator burning,
and maybe not having the money to fix it.
But I bet you anything, he may have made enough money
to get it fixed after that, and was like, hey,
I'm kind of onto something here.
We don't actually have to do this.
This is pure profit.
Yeah, exactly.
So Chuck, before we get into things
that you can do with the remains of a loved one, right?
Yeah.
Can we talk about it, whether or not it's green?
I got a couple of stats here that I think are important.
Yeah.
So a lot of people are like a natural burial or a regular
burial is not very green.
And it's expensive, too, between like $7,000 and $10,000.
But then they also say, I don't want
to go entirely green, which is bio-cremation, which
is alkaline hydrosis.
We talked about that before.
And what you can do with the dead body, remember?
It turns you into oil that's poured down the drain.
That's pretty awesome.
It is.
So this has to be something in between, though, right?
For the conscientious person who maybe kind of believes
in an afterlife and wants to do more with his body.
How do you kind of believe in an afterlife?
It's a vague knowing.
I wonder where you end up to kind of believe.
It's like a tick-sucking, like hot dog pack.
So in 2009, Reuters was doing this article on bio-cremation.
They were talking about how green is regular cremation.
And it's not green at all.
Like you think about it, you're using tons of natural gas.
Not tons.
It's hyperbolic.
But you're using a lot of natural gas or diesel or whatever.
You're using a lot of electricity that takes both.
So apparently, a standard cremation
releases about 880 pounds of CO2, just one body.
And that's the big enemy.
And it uses enough energy to basically power
a 500-mile road trip.
Really?
So not one and the same.
These are two separate things.
So it uses the energy to get you across country 500 miles.
And it's depending on the size of your country.
And it releases 880 pounds of CO2 into the air.
I wonder what that compares to footprint-wise to standard
burial.
I think it's.
Is it still better?
I don't know.
And I think it's just entirely different ways
where I think maybe a natural or a regular traditional burial
is more polluting, like directly polluting
into the ground.
And that kind of thing is using up resources
where a cremation has less of an impact over time.
But immediately, it's a lot of input.
It requires a lot of input.
Gotcha.
That's my concept of it.
Right.
I wouldn't mind being burned.
Which country was it where they burn you on top of the wood
by the banks of the river?
That's India.
Yeah, I like that.
That's how I would want to go.
Well, buddy, if you live in India and you're in Hindu,
that's exactly how you have to go.
That was a perfect segue to the religion.
I guess so.
You said Hindus, they mandate cremation.
Yeah, they're the only religion that does.
Yeah, and it's called, I'm going to go ahead and give it
a whirl here, Anthem Sankar, which is last rite.
Nice.
You want to hit the other one?
Antiesti.
Yeah, Antiesti, I think.
Which is last sacrifice.
Yeah, and those are one of the 16 life rituals.
I guess it would be the last one.
Actually, I'll probably be corrected.
Maybe one after that, the whole rebirth and all that.
Maybe.
But I guess the smoke gets the body to the next life.
I bet it's one of the last four.
I'll bet it is.
I'll wager on that.
And they, yeah, like you said, they're Hindus.
So they say you dispose of this body and it ushers you
and helps you be reborn into the next life
when you're ready-made.
And while Hinduism is the only religion that mandates,
you have that's how your body is disposed of.
Sikhism and Jainism are both kind of strongly adors it,
although they don't require it, right?
Right.
And you were saying that they cremate people in India
along the banks of the river.
Most of their cremations, from what I understand,
are open-air cremations.
See, I like that idea.
There's a city called Varanasi, which apparently is the holy
city to be cremated in.
And you are cremated out in the open along the banks of the
Ganges.
That's nice.
But they do have an electric crematorium.
But since there's a billion people who live in India and
all would want electricity, this place suffers power out.
That's it, really?
Yeah.
Man, that's sad.
If you are a Christian, Jewish, or you're Muslim, Josh,
they generally frown upon it or outright prohibit it,
depending on which religion it is.
Yeah, Islam prohibits it.
Yeah, they want you buried that day, the same day you die,
preferably.
Right.
So in Judaism, Chuck, I don't think it's actually restricted.
I think you can if you want to.
But among Orthodox and conservative Jews, the memory
of the Holocaust is still, understandably, smart to the
point where they're like, why would you want to be cremated?
This is, you know, there's legacy is still around.
So there's a lot of Jews who don't want to be cremated,
even though their religion doesn't prohibit it.
Right, understandably.
Protestants, actually, is where you're going to be fine some
more open minds to cremation.
They don't have any literature that says you should do this,
but they're definitely more understanding about it than
other religions.
Right, and we talked about the Catholic Church having a
problem with it because of its association with subversiveness
toward the church.
But in the 60s, the Catholic Church said, hey, we've never
really prohibited it.
You can get cremated if you want.
And apparently, they gave it a boost.
That and the Hula Burger.
People really catered to the Catholics in the 60s.
30%, I found.
Canada says that 30% of Catholics are cremated now.
So that's quite a boost, I would say.
Right.
The Mormons also, they're not big on cremation, although
they don't prohibit it.
And in countries where it's traditional, they're like,
yeah, please, go ahead.
But the Orthodox, Eastern Orthodox Church says, nay.
Nay.
Nay.
Good point.
Thanks.
Whistling.
On the podcast, Hey Dude, the 90s called David Lasher and
Christine Taylor, stars of the cult classic show, Hey Dude,
bring you back to the days of slip dresses and
choker necklaces.
We're going to use Hey Dude as our jumping off point, but we
are going to unpack and dive back into the decade of the 90s.
We lived it, and now we're calling on all of our friends
to come back and relive it.
It's a podcast packed with interviews, co-stars, friends,
and nonstop references to the best decade ever.
Do you remember going to Blockbuster?
Do you remember Nintendo 64?
Do you remember getting Frosted Tips?
Was that a cereal?
No, it was hair.
Do you remember AOL Instant Messenger and the dial-up sound
like poltergeist?
So leave a code on your best friend's beeper, because you'll
want to be there when the nostalgia starts flowing.
Each episode will rival the feeling of taking out the
cartridge from your Game Boy, blowing on it and popping it
back in as we take you back to the 90s.
Listen to Hey Dude, the 90s called on the I Heart Radio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Lance Bass, host of the new I Heart Podcast, Frosted
Tips with Lance Bass.
The hardest thing can be knowing who to turn to when
questions arise or times get tough, or you're at the end
of the road.
Ah, OK, I see what you're doing.
Do you ever think to yourself, what advice would Lance
Bass and my favorite boy bands give me in this situation?
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Um, hey, that's me.
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Um, where are we now with some, can we talk about finally what you can do with your remains?
I think it's high time, don't you?
Not what you can do with your remains, because you clearly can't do anything.
That's not what you can do with your remains.
They like to keep you in an urn, and they have these little cemetery-like buildings
called a columbarium, and they just hold ashes from what I understand.
Like your urn.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like a vault.
So, some people choose that.
That costs some dough, obviously.
Uh, go ahead and tell us about your hero.
I know you want to mention that.
Who, Hunter T?
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, he was mixed with fireworks and shot out of a cannon, a 153 foot cannon, also
called the Memorial Tower, and apparently it's, it was an organization called Heavens
Above Fireworks that did this, and anybody can do it.
And Johnny Depp paid for the whole party, right?
Yeah, and from what I saw, it was, if it was this British company, he would have paid about
the equivalent of $3,000 US for a large fireworks display.
That's what they charge.
Since you mentioned money, actually, I did see the average cremation cost is about $1,600
bucks.
Yeah.
And the average funeral.
It's about $5,000.
Yeah.
In this article, it's $10,000 decided.
Let's say somewhere between $5,000 and $10,000.
Let's.
Uh, but back to things you can do, we would be remiss if we didn't mention to our nerd
friends that Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek fame, was, everyone knows this,
he was shot into space.
So was Timothy Leary.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
By the same company, Celestus.
Oh, really?
And they're still in business as far as I know.
I bet they are.
And then you've got Lifegem, which we've talked about, I think, again on the webcast.
You can take your cremated remains and have them compressed into a synthetic diamond.
You can have your remains mixed into paint.
And I guess that's not so much you can have, but you can probably just do that.
It depends.
Like, there's, there's, there's actually a guy who does something called Ash Portraits.
Oh, really?
He paints the picture.
He does it just with the person's ashes, but he'll also mix it in with oil or whatever.
Interesting.
But he does portraits of the deceased.
I want to be remembered as dogs playing poker.
That'd be pretty awesome.
That'd be really cool.
What else can you do?
You can, oh, you can become part of the Coral Reef.
I know there's companies that do that.
There's a company called Eternal Reefs, I think, is the big one.
Well, that's a pretty obvious name, don't you think?
And well, they actually, they make different sized reefs.
And what they do is they mix your remains with cement.
And like, so the big one, it can accommodate up to four family members.
So if your family went down in a plane and you just feel like shelling out for one, you
know, Coral Reef, they've got you covered.
It's like seven grand.
Really?
Uh-huh.
And it's pretty big size.
And it's cool looking.
I mean, it looks like an artificial reef.
And then you take it out and dump it overboard and fish live amongst your, your family members
who I really, really hope love scuba diving.
Yeah, exactly.
You remember Keith Richards a couple of years ago?
He's still alive.
Well, no, his dad passed away and he said that he snorted his father with cocaine.
And then, I mean, apparently he said this in an interview, then that came out and he
was like, no, no, no, no, no, I was just kidding around.
I, of course, I didn't snort my father.
Yeah.
I think he snorted his father.
Yeah, I think he did too.
Sounds like a cute little thing.
There's a six-feet under episode where these people snort the remains of this girl.
Really?
I love that one.
It was a good one.
I do have some stats for you, though, what people seem to like to do, 38% keep the ashes
at their home, 37% bury the ashes, 21% do the scatter, very popular.
I thought it'd be more popular than that, though.
The most popular one is water scattering and number two is scattering somewhere on family
property.
Oh, really?
Yeah, 3% are put in the columbarium and you might notice, Josh, that adds up to 99%.
Yeah, there's 1% that go unclaimed.
So sad.
It is sad.
And apparently, the people who own crematoriums find it sad too because even though after a
set period of time in states that regulate this kind of stuff, which did we say the Federal
Trade Commission regulates mortuaries, there's no federal oversight for any crematorium.
Comes out of the state.
But in states where there are regulations, they still say you can throw these out after
a set period of time, but most crematoriums, the up and up ones, will hang onto these things
for decades because, again, it's a small box, but I mean, they don't want to just throw
it away.
It's a person.
And it's only 1%, so I don't imagine they're overflowing with unclaimed remains.
I would hope not.
But since you did mention the scattering, we should talk about some of the laws about
scattering because you can't just scatter anywhere.
No.
The National Park Service has no official stance on scattering remains.
They leave it up to each individual park.
But most of the parks say, unless there's a grave area, like a designated grave area,
you can't scatter ashes here.
Well, it also said they kind of turned a blind eye.
They know it goes on.
And I'm sure some ashes in Yosemite Park are like, how are you going to tell the difference
between that and like fire ash or dirt or whatever.
But state parks, they say, actually the National Forest Service doesn't regulate anything on
their land.
So that's where you would probably want to go, like avoid the National Park and just
stay in the National Forest.
Or go to your state park that was a beloved state park because there are a little more
lacks than the national parks.
If you want to do water scattering or ocean scattering, the EPA says you got to be three
miles away from the coastline.
Very prudish.
And California is like, that's way too much.
They still have a restriction, but it's 500 feet, right?
Yeah, pretty close.
And people don't always follow regulations, right?
So you want to tell about the Cubs fan?
Yeah, this is kind of a nice story.
Steve Goodman died of leukemia in 1984.
Die Hard Cubbies fans, sadly did not get to see the Cubs win a World Series.
As likely neither will you and I.
And four years later, his buddy snuck in before opening day and threw the ashes into the wind
out over the field.
Nice.
Pretty cool.
That is pretty cool.
Did you ever hear of Graham Parsons' story?
Yeah, his body was stolen, right?
Yeah, his friends.
He said that he wanted to be cremated and scattered on Caprock in Joshua Tree National
Park, right?
And his parents found out he was dead and had his body shipped back for a private funeral.
And his friends found out that they weren't going to be invited, so they stole him.
Right.
And took him out to Joshua Tree and opened the casket, threw some gasoline on him and
set him on fire, five gallons of gas, right?
And it didn't work, because we've said what it takes.
So he was half cremated by the time the cops showed up.
He's sort of melty.
And just like Georgia, back then there was nothing about, there were no penalties for
stealing a corpse, so they got them for theft of a casket, I think.
That was, did you see that movie?
Uh-uh.
Max Phil played the guy that his buddy, uh-uh, was not very good.
I did stay in that hotel, though, actually, I meant to mention that in the Route 66.
Yeah, the Joshua Tree Inn.
Not in his room, though.
And before we move on from scattering, Josh, we have to mention, because we like to mention
our movies, the excellent, excellent scene from the Big Lebowski, the scattering scene
in the end of Big Lebowski.
When all of them just blew back all over them?
It was Steve Busumi that died, right?
I think so.
Yeah, he threw him out in the wind and they blew back in their face over the ocean.
It was good.
It was very good.
Uh, Chuck, if I am dead and I'm being cremated and I'm part of 75% of the population, what
country am I in?
Uh, Sweden?
Switzerland.
Switzerland.
Let's get this to the piece.
If I've been cremated and I am part of just a meager 3% of the population, what country
am I in?
Ghana?
That's right.
Ghana.
And in between, or actually higher than that, Hong Kong is 83%.
Places like the Czech Republic and Singapore and the U.K. are sort of mid to high 70s.
Uh, China and the Netherlands are about half.
And Italy, as far as European countries was, I'm sorry, Ireland was 6%, Italy was 7%.
I bet that has something to do with the Catholic thing.
I would think so for sure.
The U.S. is about 30%, right?
Yeah.
I think that's about right.
I think it's sort of a large Protestant population.
Right.
And Hindu.
And there's also pet cremation.
Yeah.
If you want to get into a burgeoning industry that went from pretty much nothing to, it's
a $3 billion industry, it's the latest stat, get into pet cremation.
And the people at Matthew's crematorium supply, they make pet cremators too.
They do humans and pets?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And animals too.
Apparently there's different types.
Oh, really?
So I guess one you could fit a horse into and one are made for dogs or something.
All right.
You know, I would support, or I would be more likely to go into one of those because they
say that some of the pet-only crematoriums are a little dodgy.
Yeah.
They're totally unregulated.
Yeah.
So they're just like burning your pets together and you don't know that the ashes you get.
And if you're serious enough about your pet to get your pet cremated, then you probably
want your pet's ashes.
Right.
So you can handle cremation at home, just dig a shallow hole in your backyard to serve
as a fire break and do your neighbors a favor and shave your pet first before you set it
on fire.
We buried my animals growing up, my pets.
Did you?
Yeah.
We have, I think at my old house, we probably had like four or five pets buried out in the
woods.
But we lived on like two acres in the woods, it wasn't like in a neighborhood.
You didn't set any on fire?
No.
No, no, no.
Okay.
Well, that's it for cremation.
Thanks for joining us for that one, right, Chuck?
Yeah.
I think we've covered pretty much everything in there.
But if you want, it's a good, good article.
High caliber HowStuffWorks article.
Not like the rest of these Snickers.
Just type in cremation in the search bar, the jazzy search bar at HowStuffWorks.com.
Jazzy?
I'm just trying these stuff.
We've been getting lots of suggestions, by the way.
I like ubiquitous search bar.
It's pretty good.
It's not everywhere, though.
I mean, I guess it is everywhere, but it's, yeah, you're right.
So I guess it's time for Lucifer Mail.
Yeah, buddy, I got a couple today, couple of short ones.
First one is from the sauna cast, and this is a little old, but I promise this guy would
read it.
This is from Mark in EastonMD.
I know you guys won't read this on a podcast.
Those are usually the ones I read.
But I just thought I'd write to tell you what happened to me this morning in my frantic
rush to get my daughter, Ellie, to a summer camp on time.
I had to run out of the house without having breakfast.
That caused me to have to stop at a fast food joint, get one of those gross, greasy breakfast
sandwiches.
You would think it's bad enough, but it gets worse.
As I drive from the driveway, I push play on the iPad and start listening to the show
in saunas, where I started hearing about butt funk, Chuck sweating out gallons of fluid,
and having to visualize a naked Vigo Mortensen fighting in a sauna made my otherwise gross
sandwich and greasy potato things, one for the books.
By the way, the podcast that I queued up next was all about taste buds, so now I know how
I was able to taste my sandwich in the first place.
Thanks a lot, guys.
That's from Mark.
If you do happen to read this on the air, it would make Ellie and Lydia's day, and those
are his daughters.
Oh, hey, Ellie and Lydia.
So Mark, that is for you, my friend.
And then this one, I didn't even think about, but it's kind of fitting.
Do you remember when I told you about the little girl in Kent, Washington, who named her Betafish,
Chuckers Jr.?
Yeah, I saw this one.
Chuckers Jr. is no more.
Yeah.
Monday night, I put Chuckers Jr. inside his small bowl so I could clean his bowl in the
morning.
Yesterday morning, I went to make my breakfast in front of his bowl as usual, but I, to make
my breakfast, I thought she meant make his, which would be pretty cute.
I felt something sticky on my foot, and I looked down, and to my horror, I saw Chuckers
Jr. stuck to my foot all dried out, and now this horrible, apparently betas have been
known to jump out of their bowls, and I guess Chuckers Jr. jumped pretty far because his
bowl was a good foot away from the edge of the counter, yet he still ended up on the
floor.
My theory is that he probably flopped around or something onto the floor.
Can you just let the little girl think her Betafish is special?
Yeah, you're right.
Chuckers Jr. is special, Katie.
Also I found out that the bowl that he was in had only a centimeter from the top.
Centimeter?
Where's she from?
Liberia?
Yeah.
She's from Kent, Washington.
She said you're usually supposed to leave about an inch between the top of the thing,
I guess, to make it harder to jump out.
It's the same thing, right?
One centimeter equals one inch?
I think so.
It's like 40 degrees below.
She ends with this.
At least Chuckers Jr. died a healthy fish, and that's from Katie, age 13, in Kent, Washington.
Well, thanks for your optimism, Katie.
Yeah.
Kent, I'm sorry about your breakfast sandwich, although I'm hungry now.
It wasn't Kent, it was Mark.
She was from Kent.
Oh, yeah.
That's all right, though.
Mark, sorry about your breakfast sandwich.
Kent, I have no idea who you are.
If you have a really cool cremation story, we want to hear about it, so wrap it up in
an email and send it to StuffPodcast at HowStuffWorks.com.
For more on this and thousands of other topics, visit HowStuffWorks.com.
Want more HowStuffWorks?
Check out our blogs on the HowStuffWorks.com homepage.
On the podcast, Hey Dude, the 90s called, David Lasher and Christine Taylor, stars of
the cult classic show, Hey Dude, bring you back to the days of slip dresses and choker
necklaces.
We only use Hey Dude as our jumping off point, but we are going to unpack and dive back into
the decade of the 90s.
We lived it, and now we're calling on all of our friends to come back and relive it.
Listen to Hey Dude, the 90s called on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Lance Bass, host of the new iHeart podcast, Frosted Tips with Lance Bass.
Do you ever think to yourself, what advice would Lance Bass and my favorite boy bands
give me in this situation?
If you do, you've come to the right place because I'm here to help.
And a different hot sexy teen crush boy bander each week to guide you through life.
Tell everybody ya everybody about my new podcast and make sure to listen so we'll never ever
have to say bye, bye, bye.
Listen to Frosted Tips with Lance Bass on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to podcasts.