Suggestible - Best of Suggestible 2019
Episode Date: January 9, 2020Hello it's a clip show with a premise plus so many Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. All from the very first 25 episodes of this podcast hosted by Claire Tonti & James Goose Clement.... Thanks for joining us on this adventure, happy new year and we'll be back next week you old boot!TOFOP's Australian Bushfire Appeal: gofundme.com/f/puywn-australian-bushfiresWildlife Victoria: wildlifevictoria.org.au/donate/donate-to-wildlife-victoriaLinks to all the Suggestibles: http://bit.ly/OldBoot2019Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter @suggestiblepod or visit www.planetbroadcasting.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well, here we all are.
The end of 2019.
No, Claire, the start of 2020-19.
Oh, yes, the start of 2020-19.
The year where everything's fine.
Yeah, everything's fine.
Everything, particularly in Australia, is totally fine.
Nobody's currently going to war again.
No, nothing is happening.
Nothing's on fire.
Everything is fine.
And we are trapped in a perpetual Groundhog Day movie.
How are we going to get out of it?
Oh, you're doing a premise.
I am.
Like Mason does for the week.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to get this podcast more popular, James.
Mason, like, paints a picture and he's like, James, wake up.
You've been in a coma or whatever.
And he kind of slowly, like, reveals the premise.
You're like, we're in Groundhog Day or whatever.
I'm not Mason, all right?
Jeez.
You're sure not.
If you wanted to wake up next to Mason every day,
like we bloody are in bloody Groundhog Day, then you can.
Okay, fine.
So we're in Groundhog Day, and to break the curse,
we're playing the best clips from this show that we do.
Correct, exactly.
There's the premise.
Great.
Roll the clips, Collings.
Okay, you old boot.
Hey.
Got it first. Got him. You've. Okay, you old boot. Hey. Got it first.
Got him.
Got him.
Close friend calling me an old boot.
I have.
This is a podcast.
Suggestible.
Hello.
I suggest that face app that makes you look old.
So you look at it and you go, oh, God.
Don't.
It's like looking into your future.
It's awful.
It is terrifying.
Because you know what I think it is?
What?
It's like we're all going to die.
It's like a reminder of that.
Correct.
This is you one day. Like this is all going to die. It's like a reminder of that. Correct. It's like this is you one day.
Like this is all the facade, what you look like now.
I don't think that human beings should be able to look into their future old selves.
I think it's really bad for us.
I think it's doing something to your psyche.
Anyway, I'm Claire Tonti and you're James Clement.
I am.
And this is Suggestible Pod.
And we do what on this show, James?
We suggest things, a couple of things each.
Could be a book, could be a movie, could be an app.
Staring into your own inevitable mortality.
That's right.
We're just a pair of old boots, both of us.
We're both old boots, aren't we, Claire?
It's so fun to say.
You're an old boot.
You're an old boot.
I love it.
I think it's because we did that podcast book cheat this week
and they were talking about fishing and pulling up old boots.
Oh, yeah, we did do book cheat.
People should check that out.
We did, The Old Man and the Sea.
Yeah, that's right.
There's a good recommendation, suggestible, whatever this is called.
It is.
We'll link that below.
Correct.
Well, you got in sneakily fast with your recommendation of the Face app.
That wasn't a real recommendation.
All right, gentlemen's first.
Go on, shoot.
Okay.
Your old boot.
I fly.
Got him.
Okay, As always,
gentlemen's first,
except that one time when I riled on about feminism,
which I still believe in,
by the way.
Gentlemen's first on this podcast,
James,
what is your first suggestible?
My first suggestible,
Claire,
well,
I've got so many.
I've got two.
Is Mindhunter season two.
This isn't necessarily.
It's a little bit spooky, but the thing is,
it is a show about hunting serial killers and understanding serial killers, but it's so spooky. It's a little bit spooky. But the thing is, it is a show about hunting serial killers
and understanding serial killers.
But it's more the terrifying nature of it is not the gory kills.
It's like the sitting down and talking with them and just the eerie calmness
and just them talking about the acts of these people who really existed
in real life are committed.
Like the way it kind of methodically goes through it
and the way people can kind of calmly kind of talk about them.
Then I grabbed them and I did this and then, you know what I mean?
Okay, how is that not spooky?
That's what I'm saying.
It is.
What did I say?
It is spooky.
I agree with you.
That's what I'm saying.
Hang on, so are they usually men?
So they're not women?
Usually men.
There are female serial killers that exist, but it's mostly men, yeah.
Whoa.
Do you reckon that's because there are lots of female serial killers
but they're too clever and they never get caught?
That's entirely possible, but no, Claire.
I don't have something to tell you.
I have been murdering people for hundreds of years.
I know, Claire.
I don't care.
It doesn't bother me.
It's just a hobby.
We're married, so I'm not allowed to tell anybody.
You know how it is.
Except for all the people that listen to the podcast.
That's true.
Oh, no.
My plan's been foiled all this time.
I can't believe we didn't edit this bit out.
I know.
What were we thinking?
Collings, get to it.
Too sweet.
Okay, here is the thing.
It kept you up a bit at night, right?
It did because you were away for the weekend.
You were all alone in our house.
With my dog.
You bought a baseball bat.
I bought a baseball bat, Claire.
Don't even worry about it.
I thought you were joking and then I was watching telly last night.
Glow, by the way, recommended last week.
Excellent.
And you literally had a baseball bat.
I bought a baseball bat.
Is that going to stop a serial killer?
No, probably not, but it makes me feel better.
Do you know something else that's funny?
I should point out as well, I bought a baseball bat and a bike pump because i didn't want to be the guy who goes up and goes
one baseball bat please i don't want any gloves i don't want a ball i just want this bat
you didn't tell me that i just had this realization as well that that is literally
the only sporting equipment that you own that you bought for yourself? I've got a basketball. Where?
Where's that basketball?
That's a really good question.
No, you don't have a basketball.
I like basketball.
I've played a lot of basketball.
All I'm saying is, to my original point,
the only sporting equipment I've ever seen you buy personally for yourself
other than for our son is a baseball bat,
and it has nothing to do with sport.
It's to cave someone's head in.
It's to cave someone's head in that may be a serial kill
that one day knocks on our door.
It wasn't.
Look.
Mate, you are an ocean of complexities.
I don't think I'm that complex.
I think I'm a very simple man with very base instincts.
Okay.
So you have your base all that.
But it did keep you up because I was away. But I do have this paranoia that because I've slightly raised public profile,
like I don't want anyone to know where we live.
I don't want anyone to know anything about me personally or privately.
You didn't want anyone to know your name and I outed you
and now I feel bad.
I've put you to the point where you have now bought a baseball bat.
And if it was just me, I probably wouldn't care as much
because it's, you know, like if it was just me and someone murders me,
I'm like, well, it's just me, you know, but if it was just me and someone murders me, I'm like, well,
it's just me, you know, but with a family.
You might not feel like that at the time.
I know, it's ridiculous.
And that's not me saying to people, look, listen, if it's just you,
don't even bother.
Just let people murder you.
I know that was a joke, but I really genuinely could see if a murderer
came to my house that you would be like, I'm tired. Oh, well. Okay.
Just get it over with.
It's just me.
All right.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Just make it quicker.
I mean, the world's burning up anyway.
I'll die young.
Yeah.
With relatively fresh faced.
Can I do mine now?
I'm sorry.
Yes.
Excellent.
Okay.
So I'm going to throw up the format a little bit.
We're going to move into something nice and fun.
Oh, speaking of fun, before we get on to our other recommendation,
I have another recommendation for an Instagram account.
I'll just swing back and forth.
Okay.
This one's at Celeste Barber.
Who's bloody cooking potatoes?
No one's cooking potatoes.
Celeste Barber's bloody hilarious.
If you don't know her, she's got like billions or millions of followers on Instagram.
Billions and millions.
Yeah, all of the things.
Oh, my goodness.
She is an Australian comedian who is now followed by the likes of, you know,
Gwyneth Paltrow.
Oh, I know Celeste Barber.
Yeah, because she's in that show that you love.
The Letdown, yeah.
But she just does really hilarious parodies of, you know,
model and celebrity photos, which I know out the surface doesn't sound
particularly exciting, but they are so hilarious.
And the way she uses her physicality and her body is just so brilliant.
And they're just so cheerful.
And it also reminds me that it's okay for women to not look perfect.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, and she's just got a very unique style of comedy,
which we've talked about before, right?
Often if you're unique or a bit different,
you really have to forge your own way and make your own work.
Yeah.
Which is like what you have done.
Yes, Claire.
I'm just like Celeste Barber in many ways.
You look so tired.
You've been rolling on the roller at the gym.
No, I'm looking through our Instagram.
Yeah.
I nearly died at the gym.
I fucking, I nearly died.
You nearly died.
You did the rolling.
I hate rolling.
You don't recommend doing the rolling.
I do not.
Especially if I don't do it last.
Yeah, I know.
Because you'll nearly die.
I haven't been for a couple of days.
I feel gross.
That's because you have the flu maybe. I don't have the flu. Or you do have the flu. Well, I don I know. Because you'll nearly die. I haven't been for a couple of days. I feel gross. That's because you have the flu maybe.
I don't have the flu.
Or you do have the flu.
Well, I don't know.
I got a swab and it said that I did, but I don't feel as bad.
I just feel tired.
Who are you going to believe, medical science or your own feelings, Claire?
Instead of going to the gym, I had a lamington.
Where'd you get a lamington from?
At the movies.
Oh, man.
When I saw Toy Story 4.
I thought you had a secret lamington stash that I wasn't aware of.
No, you always think I have secret stashes of food.
Because you do.
You're hiding food.
I don't know what you're up to.
I'm not hiding food.
I just eat Kit Kats in my car sometimes.
It's become a confession time.
That sounds insane.
Okay, and I've just confessed to my Kit Kat eating in the car thing,
which sounds weird.
There's nothing wrong with that.
You know how many times I sneak out for a bloody Coke Zero or Coke?
Yeah.
What has happened to you?
You never used to be onto those.
Because I'm dying, Claire, and I need energy to keep me going.
Yeah, you're dying inside because you're drinking cancerous liquid out of a can.
It really is.
It's so bad for you.
Unless we get sponsored by them.
No.
No.
Even if we get sponsored by them, it absolutely is the worst thing you can drink.
It's like drinking poison.
It is.
It's so bad for you.
Actually, I did see an empty can in the car the other day.
Yeah.
When our son was in hospital and I needed energy to not cry all day, every day.
That's true.
More than you usually do in life.
That's right.
Yeah.
Okay.
Speaking of, let's talk about the State of the Union.
See, normally the podcast with Mason is I'm breaking down
and he's like, everything's fine.
But for this, it's we're both like, ah.
Oh, we're both breaking down.
I know.
I'm secretly eating Kit Kats.
My husband's drinking poison.
We've all got the flu.
Everything's fine.
I know, I know I have the flu fine. I know I have the flu.
Now I know I have the flu because the doctor shoved this like weird cotton ball on a piece
of wire up my nose all the way back into my sinuses.
And I nearly punched him in the face when he did it.
Claire, that wasn't a doctor.
That was a man at the bus stop.
I don't know why you let him do that.
But he said it was a free consultation.
Oh, that's a really good point.
Because I look like a nice person.
Yeah, and he licked the end of it and he went, yeah, that's the flow.
I paid him in Kit Kats.
What?
Yeah, how weird is that, though?
It's such a weird feeling.
You never see anything that far up your nose.
Oh, speak for yourself, Claire.
Speak for yourself.
Drinking your Coke zero up your nose.
I have, like, maybe two a week.
Let's not talk about this like it's getting out of hand.
It was looking daily the other day.
The other day we went to the pub and you were like,
I'm not drinking.
I'm going to be really healthy.
And then you ordered two pints, not pots, pints of Coke Zero.
Diet Coke.
Or Diet Coke, even worse.
With like very little ice.
So it was just poised.
I think a beer was better for you.
No, it's not calories wise, Claire.
We're talking low calories.
Yeah, but just because you're skinny, you'll still be dead.
I'd rather be skinny and dead than drunk.
And slightly heavier than I already am.
And happy.
Like relaxed and happy.
Slightly poorly. And slightly heavier than I already am. And happy. Like relaxed and happy, slightly portly.
You'd rather be skinny and dead in your dead world with your ARs. As I get older, every time I look at a beer, I think is now,
you know how much I have to run to work up one beer?
It's crazy.
It's like eating a loaf of bread.
It's like eating four donuts.
I'd rather eat four donuts, quite frankly.
I don't really like beer that much.
I don't even really like donuts.
But a cold, cold one.
A cold beer on a hot day is great.
On a hot day after you've worked hard.
But I'd rather, look, you know me.
I like, if I want to drink, I'm doing, I'm doing cocktails, man.
I'm getting fancy cocktails.
The fruitiest cocktail in the world.
Because I want to drink something that I like.
Beer is a conspiracy.
I've talked about this.
You think everything is a conspiracy.
No, I think beer is a conspiracy. I think talked about this. You think everything is a conspiracy. No, I think beer is a conspiracy.
I think everybody's just kind of got it in their head
that it's the kind of thing that you have to drink.
You don't have to drink it.
You can drink anything else.
You can drink water.
But you don't think that people like it.
I think a lot of people don't like it and just drink it, yes.
A lot of people do.
I think it's the opposite.
Or become reliant on it.
Or it's not even. It's just like a thing that's like a habit you fall Or become reliant on it. Or it's not even.
It's just like a thing that's like a habit you fall into.
You crack one open.
Because it's not that good.
Like, it's really not.
No, but this is.
Wine is better than beer.
Scotch is better than beer.
Bourbon, some bourbon is better than beer.
This is ridiculous.
Vodka is better than beer.
No, not everything is a conspiracy.
Guinness is better than beer.
I agree that some people will like beer and some people won't. But it's not a frigging conspiracy. I'd have a Guinness is better than beer. I agree that some people will like beer and some people won't,
but it's not a frigging conspiracy.
I'd have a Guinness every day.
That's like drinking cold soup.
Have you ever had a proper Guinness?
It's incredible.
Yes, I have had a proper Guinness.
Then you haven't.
From a can with a marble in it.
Again, you got it from the man at the bus stop.
Newsflash, Guinness is beer.
It's a stout.
It's like a.
Which is a beer.
But it's like red wine, white wine.
Is this on?
Can you hear me?
Hello?
It's a beer.
I can hear you without the microphone.
I can hear you because I'm sitting across from you.
I'm losing my mind.
Anyway, let's get off this topic that beer is a conspiracy.
Have we run out of time now?
Speaking of marital.
Dear Lord. Marital arguments. I'm trying to out of time now? Speaking of marital arguments.
Try to think of other things that you thought were conspiracies.
We can come back to things that I think is conspiracy.
You think that the whole concept of work is a conspiracy.
Yeah, it's a trap.
And the five-day week is a lie that people have been fed at school.
Here he goes.
It's an absolute fucking scam that is ruining people.
Except for the people that need to go to an office to earn a living.
Yes, but what?
Yeah, I know.
I understand it's a necessity.
He's ranting, guys.
His eyes are getting intense.
Why is it 5-2?
Why is it not at least 3-4 or 4-3?
It should be the other way.
Why are you just saying numbers now?
What do you mean I'm saying numbers?
I'm not saying random numbers.
4-2, 6-1, 7-5.
I'm talking about the work week. It should be a four-day work week at least. 4, 2, 6, 1, 7, 5. I'm talking about work week.
It should be a four-day work week at least.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know what you meant.
Not just saying numbers.
76, 5.
Numbers are a conspiracy.
22.
Numbers are a conspiracy.
Speaking of numbers, do you want to bring it up?
I can't remember what it's called.
Oh, bloody hell.
You're the professional.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, you're really not.
You've never listened to my show.
That's a conspiracy that you are.
I listen to your show.
No, you don't.
I listen for the ads.
Yeah, exactly.
Because I buy them for you.
Or buy them, get them.
Anyway.
You don't have to listen to it.
It's fine.
All right.
I talk to you every day.
It's like when people I know are like, I listen to your show.
You don't have to listen to it.
Don't feel obliged to listen to it.
Anyway, sorry, go on.
I don't like Superman as much as you.
That's fine.
Nobody does.
All right.
That's not true.
A lot of people like Spider-Man.
More than I do.
I do like Spider-Man, actually, to be fair.
Anyway, a suggestible.
Yep.
It's called State of the Union.
It's written by Nick Hornby.
It's a TV series.
They're 10-minute episodes.
And Nicholas Hornby is one of your faves or was one of your favorites.
I like the one book video.
I liked High Fidelity.
I read some of his other books, but none of them are as good as High Fidelity.
Correct.
I feel.
And there's a lot of repeating kind of things.
There is.
Correct.
And characters and et cetera.
So The State of the Union stars Chris O'Dowd from The IT Crowd,
who I love, the comedian, and Rosamund Pike.
That's right, from Die Another Day, the Bond film from 2002
with Halle Berry and Pierce Brosnan.
Oh, I thought I was going to say Gone Girl,
which I feel is a much better reference.
No, Claire, nobody remembers Gone Girl.
Everybody remembers Die Another Day from 2002 with the invisible car.
I liked Gone Girl.
Yeah, I know.
I'm just joking.
Nobody likes Die Another Day.
No.
It's a terrible film. It is a terrible film. I liked Gone Girl. Yeah, I know. I'm just joking. Nobody likes Die Another Day. No. It's a terrible film.
It is a terrible film.
Anywho, yes, and it's really quite interesting.
It's about the two characters, Louise and Tom,
who meet in a pub immediately before their weekly marital therapy session.
So it's just before they go in.
They should just do a podcast, am I right?
It'll be good for their marital fate of the union.
Okay.
So you like it?
I do.
I don't love it.
I think some episodes, I think it starts really well and then it kind of dips a little bit,
but then it does get better.
I think it ends pretty strong as well.
I think it's probably a bit too long.
Like it's a bit too.
Do you think it's only what, 10 episodes?
Yeah.
I think there's some kind of some Philip kind of stuff in there.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's interesting you say that.
I guess because it's set in the one place, just set in a park.
That I don't have a problem with.
I think they kind of retread a lot of like old ground a few times.
But I guess that's kind of relationships as well.
Yeah, I feel like that's kind of what relationships are.
I mean, they have kids as well.
I wouldn't recommend watching it all.
Like you could easily sit and watch it all at once,
but I would say break it up a bit.
Probably do it in two or three sessions.
Yeah, I watched it all at once, I think.
Bad idea.
Oh, no, I enjoyed it because it was short
and it was something I felt like watching.
But I love that kind of stuff.
I love examining emotions and looking at relationships
and terrible rom-coms and all that stuff.
It's right in my bag.
And I love the movie Die Another Day,
which is why I recommend whatever this show is called.
Okay, of all the suggestibles that we've done on this show, Die Another Day is the number one pick.
That's what people should take away from this.
Correct.
Collings, please link it in the description.
Yeah.
It's got an invisible car.
It does.
All right.
And James, on this show, I suggest that it is gentlemen's first.
Claire, do you like video games?
Good.
You're going to love this.
Do you like the history of video games?
No.
But do you love?
I like Zelda, as previously discussed.
Claire, nobody cares about Zelda.
Ocarina of Time.
Lo-la-loo, lo-la-loo, lo-la-loo, lo-loo.
Lo-la-loo, lo-la-loo. How long are you going to let me go?
I thought you were going to cut in.
Why would I?
I was so entranced.
I was just caught up.
It's the Ocarina of Time.
I've never played it.
Did you never?
Yes, you have.
No, I haven't.
You get to gallop on a horse.
I know what it is.
It makes realistic horse sounds.
That is the entire experience of Zelda.
Sounds really good.
I'm never going to play it because that controller is also terrible,
the Nintendo 64.
Okay, anyway, you were telling me about the history of video games. The first thing.
Fake yawn.
The first thing.
Or was it?
Wish I had a bloody ocarina, so I'm going to bloody get out of here.
I'll tell you that much.
Hey, just before you go on with your crap thing,
what in the kitchen, what was that joke that you said to me before
and I really fell hook, line and sinker for it?
I said, what did I say?
I said I wanted to start a wine collection
and there was a particular brand of wine that I was interested in.
And I was really surprised because you never suggest anything.
And I was like, yeah, we can incorporate a wine rack into our home.
And you said, what's the label?
And I said, it's called Chateau de Flore.
And I still didn't get it until you looked at me and went, Chateau de Flore.
It's not my joke.
I stole it from the 12th man.
But anyway, it's neither here nor there
this guy uh he's on he's got a youtube channel it's called the gaming historian his name is
norman caruso he's based in the us i believe but basically you know a lot of people do video games
on youtube you i'm sure you're aware of that they're a bloody dime a dozen there's a lot of
people going like remember super mario brothers do you know he was originally called jump man and
before princess peach there was Princess bloody the other one.
Oh, is this Mario Kart?
It's whatever.
So basically what this guy does.
Because I like Mario Kart.
That's the other one I like.
You're not unique.
Yoshi!
I love it.
That's the whole of Mario Kart.
What's that?
That was Mario Kart.
I don't know what.
Nobody yells that.
They were like those little mushrooms that shoot and like explode people.
Great.
Well, listen, we all like Mario Kart.
Again, it's not unique.
Zelda Mario Kart, two of the most popular Nintendo franchises.
But this guy, what he does, he releases one video maybe every two months
and he does heavily researched, really well edited, edited stuff that you won't just find on Wikipedia like maybe I would do for a video sometimes.
But he does these fascinating short documentaries about the history of gaming.
Some of his more popular videos are the story of Super Mario Bros. 2.
So I don't know if you know this.
The version of Super Mario Bros. that we got in the West, I should say, is actually a different game
that they relabeled.
In Japan they had a proper version of Super Mario 2,
but it was deemed too hard for the West, so they switched it.
So it's the story behind this game that they basically skinned
to make it look like a Mario game.
They dumbed it down for us.
I wouldn't say it's dumber, but it's way different.
You don't jump on bad guys to kill them.
You can't. You jump on them and then you just kind of ride you don't jump on bad guys to kill them. You can't.
You jump on them and then you just kind of ride on them and then you've got to throw them.
It's a completely mechanically.
You ride on them?
Yeah, mechanically it's a completely different game.
Like piggybacking.
Like piggybacking, yes.
I love piggybacking.
So I think that's his most popular video.
He does a really good one on Tetris, the history of Tetris.
Oh, I love Tetris.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
It's not the music of Tetris.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
Everyone knows it. That's it. That's not the music of Tetris, Claire. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. It's not the music of Tetris. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Everyone knows it.
That's it.
That's not the music of Tetris, Claire.
I guess it is bloop, bloop, bloop.
I don't think you've listened.
Tetris is a-
Let me do it again.
Bloop, bloop, bloop.
This sound, what are you-
I'm doing the blocks falling.
What are you, the scared weird little guys?
Or what are those comedy guys where one of them does the sound effects?
I'm singing tonight.
I'm singing all day.
I hate this.
I'll sing all day every day.
Anyway, if you like anything about video games, anything at all,
small, be it large, this is a really great YouTube channel
that I've been watching for a long time,
and I think people should check it out, The Gaming Historian.
The Gaming Historian.
Now, why don't you suggest a thing,
and I'll make stupid fucking sound effects all the way through it.
How about that, Claire?
You won't, because my thing I chose specifically for you.
Welcome to Suggestable. I'm introing the show, apparently. You just pointed at me. Just throw that, Claire? You won't because my thing I chose specifically for you. Welcome to Suggestible.
I'm introing the show apparently.
You just pointed at me.
Just throw that on me like it's nothing.
Like luckily I'm a professional.
I just roll with it.
You wouldn't even notice the difference most people.
But now you're talking about it.
It's not professional.
No, it's still because people – I'm exuding a confidence
that people aren't bothered by it.
Okay, yeah.
You're so confident that your jumper says champion.
That's right.
I mean, really?
Okay, champ, I'm Claire.
I'm trying to think if I've ever won anything.
Like on merit.
I don't think I have.
No, you won that radio competition and explain to the listeners what you won.
Basically, I won Nintendo 64 in 1999 for the release of star wars episode one for doing
why james for doing a c-3po impersonation i'm proud of it i don't care i'll tell everybody
what can you do your impression yeah i'm ready okay go luke help i'm trapped my legs have been
shot off by stormtrooper just kill me here i can't do this anymore that was what i did yeah wow i had no idea you had
such acting chops oh yeah so that's why i won obviously no i didn't it was actually it was it
was a worse impersonation than that if you could believe it but the other two were way worse
so i got to win it but the other thing that i've talked about this before but the idea was that
the people who won because they're doing like one night, would come in and record like a skit for – this is with Triple M
on the crowd show – would do a skit for like the new Star Wars film
and I'm like, I hope that never happens.
I just want the Nintendo.
I don't want to do anything else.
And luckily it never eventuated because I'm sure they went,
actually this is insane and this won't go well.
So I got the Nintendo and that was it.
Well, there you go.
Let's get the ball rolling.
Let's do it.
Okay, champ.
That's going to be my new name for you.
Well, I'm happy with that.
I'm saying it ironically.
It's reflective.
No, I'll take it.
I'll take it real.
Yeah.
Are we ready to go?
I'm ready to go.
Okay.
As always, gentlemen's first.
Okay.
I have full disclaimer.
What?
I happen to be a feminist, but I keep saying gentlemen's first as a joke.
I happen to be a feminist But I keep saying
Gentlemen's first
As a joke
But someone on
Twittery
Twitters
Said to me
It should be ladies first
Because feminism
And I said
No
Gentlemen's first
Well I guess
The idea behind it
Is that you choose
Who goes first
Correct
And because I'm such
A beta cuck
Soy boy
I will accept
Whatever your decision is
He said
Haha sucked in
I'm going first this week.
My recommendation.
Yeah, you didn't see that one coming, did you, mate?
So tired.
My first recommendation.
Why would you break the formula?
The one thing that we do in this show.
Because I like to throw caution to the wind.
Absolutely.
I appreciate that.
Live by the seat of my pants.
All right.
It's not an expression. It might be.
My first recommendation is Case Histories by Kate Atkinson. Have you heard of it?
I haven't heard of neither of those things or people. Excellent. So Kate Atkinson is an author
and she has written lots of books, but this particular series is awesome.
It starts with Case Histories and it is a book where she
introduces Jackson Brody,
a former police inspector and now private investigator. The plot revolves around three
seemingly unconnected family tragedies, the disappearance of a three-year-old girl from a
garden, the murder of a husband by his wife with an axe, which I feel that might happen in this
scenario. We have an axe? Well, we might. I made Thor's hammer. Did you see that for our three-year-old?
Yeah, but an axe is not a hammer.
Sure, Thor also has an axe.
Here he goes.
It's called Yarnborn from the comics,
but also it's called Stormbreaker from the movies.
It's different.
Sorry, go on.
Oh, oh, oh, la-di-da.
Anyway, moving right along, soy boy.
And the apparently motiveless murder Of a solicitor's daughter
It is so good, James
You know how much
I love a murder mystery
You're too much
You know how much
I love a disgruntled
Lonely old detective
Well, I know
That you like looking
At a mirror
Which is the same thing
For you
Gotcha
No, don't get me
I'll get you
With an axe, apparently
No, don't do it
Or maybe I will
Who knows
Anyway This is right up your alley Yeah, I bloody love it. Or maybe I will. Who knows? Anyway.
This is right up your alley.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I bloody love it, mate.
It's one of those books that you finish reading and you immediately want to recommend to someone
else, which is why I'm recommending it to you.
When did you read this?
Oh, this week.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's all you've been up to.
Yeah.
That's the squirreled away reading, polishing my brain cells.
Hey, one other recommendation I have before you could go next.
Next week, you'll be back to Gentleman's Best.
Well, I hope so.
You don't like how I throw the format.
This is our worst episode.
It is.
It's the wrong time of the day for you.
No, I have started to sleep with a face mask on.
Yeah.
Not like a liquidy one.
Just like a soft padded one from like the $2 shop.
And it is bloody amazing.
They're good.
They're so good.
You just sleep so well.
And then I wake up and it's always like not on my face anymore.
It's like beside the bed or around my neck or something.
That's a bit dangerous.
But it's just been a joy.
So that's my other recommendation.
Because we've, throughout our, when we've lived together in the six or seven places
that we've lived in, except for this current house, there's always been a
street light like directly outside our window. Yeah, that was one thing you looked at when we
were looking for a house. It drove me crazy for such a long time. Well, even when we lived up
north where there were no streets, we didn't live on a street, we lived on a paddock, but still
there was in our yard a street light, which was directly outside the window.
Shining straight into the bedroom.
Yes.
I don't know.
So random.
What about in Africa?
Was there a streetlight in the house you lived in in Africa?
Actually, I couldn't tell you.
They just had that cow.
They just had a cow that would moo.
Because each family kind of had their own cow that lived in a little shack next to their house.
And that cow had a calf.
And then they separated the cow and the calf, because they obviously were going to sell the calf. And then they separated the cow and the calf
because they obviously were going to sell the calf
and then they tied the calf to the front of our house.
Yeah, because they didn't want it to keep them up all night.
And so then I've never seen the funniest images of you getting out of bed,
wrapping a pink towel around you and dragging a calf around the side of the house
on the end of a road.
The next day I'm like, Reggie, why is your cow tied up in the front of the house?
And he's like, because it's too loud.
I'm like, come and get your fucking cow or I'm going to kill it.
I think they thought that we were all like bleeding heart jokers
who were like volunteering and would never crack it,
but they hadn't reckoned with old Jim Bob over there.
He was a good guy.
He was a lovely guy, Reggie.
Well, speaking of good-hearted people,
I watched a movie from 2016 called Silence.
It's a Martin Scorsese film.
It's the movie he did after Wolf of Wall Street,
and it's based on the 1966 novel of the same name.
It stars Andrew Garfield.
You shush.
It stars Andrew Garfield, who is Spider-Man,
Adam Driver, who is Kylo Ren,
and Liam Neeson, who is Ra's al Ghul, but also Qui-Gon Jinn,
but also Schindler's List.
Is that his name, Schindler's List?
I think so.
Is Liam Neeson the one that's always like,
my daughter, you've got my daughter.
Who's got my daughter?
Who's got my daughter?
Who took my daughter?
Also, I've got a gun and I'm afraid to use it
and I'm in a long coat on a train.
If you look at the Liam Neeson posters from the last 12 years
and you took the title off it, it's just all him in a leather jacket holding a train. If you look at the Liam Neeson posters from the last 12 years and you took the title off it, it's just all him
in a leather jacket holding a gun.
Like in a hurry and there's like blue speed lines
kind of going past him.
That's every Liam Neeson poster.
Except for this one because basically
it's a fictional story
but it's based on true events of
a 17th century
two Jesuit priests from Portugal
who go to Japan to locate Liam Neeson,
who was a missionary who was sent there at a time
when if you were Christian in Japan,
because it was a predominantly Buddhist nation,
you were persecuted.
They'd murder the priests.
You'd have to pray in secret and all those kinds of things.
Christianity was outlawed,
and there were these inquisitors who would go around
and look for them in small communities
and it resonated a lot with the poor as religion often does
because it's something that when you die it's going to elevate you
and don't worry about this life because the next life it's going to be great.
You're going to have a horse and everything.
Why just a horse?
Well, it's whatever you want in your next life, isn't it?
So you want a horse? You don't even like horses. I'm not a horse. I don't's whatever you want in your next life, isn't it? So you want a horse.
You don't even like horses.
I'm not a horse.
I don't like horses.
I don't trust them.
No, you have a weird thing with horses.
I do, haven't I?
No, I like them, but I don't understand them.
The last time we saw a horse, we were going for a walk around the beach, and you saw a horse, and you were like, I don't like it.
Get away from it.
I don't like you, horse.
That did not happen.
Yes, that absolutely did happen.
And I was like, look at this majestic creature.
And it was so lovely and came over to look at us.
And you were like, I'm leaving.
I don't like this horse.
I'll bat a horse, but I can't read them.
You know, like I can read a dog.
It's the same with cats.
Like I can read a dog.
I can read other animals, birds, I guess, some birds.
Birds hate you as well.
Some birds do hate me.
But horses, I'm like, I can't.
And they're so big and they're not as smart as dogs.
People are like, they're the smartest dogs.
I looked into it.
They're not.
I mean, I'm sure some are.
They are.
They're very intuitive, emotionally intuitive.
Anyway, I don't know how we got onto this topic about how you hate horses,
but you should.
I don't hate horses.
I think you're a bad guy.
Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.
Welcome to the Bing Bong Show where we just say bing bong for 30 minutes.
Bing bong.
What's that from?
Oh, I know.
That is from that movie Inside Out, that Disney one where people are in their heads.
Yeah, I was going to jump in, but I was stretching like a cat.
You are stretching like a cat.
We are never getting a cat.
That was what you woke me up with this morning.
Yeah, I was like, we're not getting a cat.
What if I said I really wanted a cat?
P.S.
Hello, this is suggestible.
I'm Claire.
We're both kind of allergic, like a little bit allergic to cats.
Yeah.
I don't have a problem with cats.
Hey, I am physically allergic and also mentally allergic.
Oh, my goodness.
I hate cats.
I'm putting it out there.
You hate cats.
Yeah, I do.
See, I don't like cats, but I don't hate cats.
They make me sneeze and they don't really love you.
You don't know that.
No, they don't.
Some people say that of children.
If they were bigger, they would eat you.
That was what I said to you once.
No, that's what I think.
You're stealing things that I said.
I am not.
Well, who knows?
You've been together so long.
What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.
Yeah, but I do believe that.
What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.
I think some cats would definitely kill you if they were big enough,
even if they knew you. Yeah, they're always sizing you up. Yeah. And swishing their tail. What's mine is mine and what yours is mine. I think some cats would definitely kill you if they were big enough, even if they knew you.
Yeah, they're always sizing you up.
Yeah.
And swishing their tail.
They're always unhappy cats.
You can't make them happy.
I'm going to get a lot of cat feedback.
That is actually a thing as well.
My friend who is a single is on Tinder and she said that she had a friend,
she took a photo of herself with her cat and put it on Tinder thinking
that maybe that would make people less interested in her and it made people more interested
in her.
Really?
People are really into cats, mate.
Yeah.
Well, I guess they're a pretty popular pet.
I mean, they're no dogs.
No, but there's some weird sexy thing going on with cats.
I don't think that's true.
Yes, there is.
Like fur is, mate.
There's a sexy thing going on about everything.
That's a whole other subset
Anyway
Anyway
It's your turn
Yeah, so we suggest things
Catboy
We do two each
No, I'm not that
Would you be interested in dressing up as a cat?
For what purpose?
Just to spice things up
No, to commit a robbery, yes
To commit a robbery?
Oh yeah, because they'd be looking for like a real unbalanced lunatic
And I feel like nobody would ever think that I put on a cat suit
and robbed a bank.
Yeah, because that is your entire life strategy, grey man it.
Yeah.
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See app for details. Hello, welcome to Suggestible Pod. I'm Claire. James is here also. What's the
show about, James? Look, this is how it is. You like podcasts? Great. Welcome. You're here. You
made it this far. This one is all about suggesting
things that we've read, watched,
listened to, eaten, flew
over and went, hmm.
Neither of us could fly.
No, but you know when you're flying in a
plane and you look over and you go, hmm.
You never do that or you're too busy watching
something to suggest on this podcast.
Flying is the worst and you can't say anything because people
are like, why don't you look at the window?
At what?
Well, anyway.
The sky?
I can see the sky from here.
I don't need to be up in it to be looking at it.
It looks the same.
All right.
As interesting as this topic of conversation is,
get on with your bloody suggestible, mate.
All I'm saying is the sky is overrated.
You can look at it from, you don't need to spend big money.
I have such different views on this because I'm always
banging on about asking
you to go and look at the sky.
I love a pink sky.
It's ever changeable, ever changing.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, I get it.
The sky's a variety of colours.
The sky has to be an absolutely wicked, crazy colour for me to go, what?
See, I look at it every day of the week.
I even like a grey sky.
It's moody.
Listen to moody.
This guy can get out of here.
My French Sinatraatra recommended previously all right
anyway okay so my first one is a podcast called funny in failure which could be the bloody title
of your life i was gonna say this is your life james yeah that's exactly it so basically it's
an itunes i mean you're not that itunes no i'm No, I'm not. I don't have the host in front of me.
Why doesn't he have his name in the bio?
Anyway, it's an Australian podcast.
Someone would think you were a professional.
I know.
Look at my notes, all prepared, all ready for you.
I've got notes.
My notes are less, but I've still got them.
Okay, hang on.
Come on, Funny in Failure by James Clement.
I'll find the name at the end.
Come on, mate.
But it's basically about a person, a man,
who talks with comedians about their careers.
Like he's had people on the past like John Safran,
who is a popular presenter here in Australia who started on –
it was almost like a reality show in the 90s, wasn't it?
Well, it was.
It was like a reality journalism show in the 90s.
All the way up to his most recent episode,
or his second most recent with Broden Kelly, who people might know as one of the three –
sorry, there's more than three people on RTD on it
because there's multiple people behind the scenes.
Yeah, but they're the faces of it.
They're the ones you see the face of.
Broden Kelly, I'm a big fan of in his comedy in that show
but also in real life.
He's a super nice guy.
He's –
Yeah, he's awesome.
What I find really funny about Broden is he's really good
at doing really mundane, run-of-the-mill stuff that, like,
normal people do but at an absurd level but also feels real
at the same time.
Yeah, so it's very funny.
Like he does a really good dad.
He's like, I'm a dad.
I can't do it.
I definitely can't do it.
Because Auntie Donna actually is a definite recommendation
in this show. Yeah, 100%. If you haven't listened to their podcast or watched their YouTube channel, I can't do it. I definitely can't do it. Because Auntie Donna actually is a definite recommendation in this show.
Yeah, 100%.
If you haven't listened to their podcast or watched their YouTube channel,
you should definitely do it.
Or go to their live shows or listen to their music or whatever.
I love Broden, how he sings the dad song.
What's it called?
Yeah.
Chuffed.
Chuffed.
It's so good.
Yeah, he's very funny.
Exactly.
But anyway, so.
Broden.
The thing about Broden is, and a lot of comedians,
like I've met him multiple times and he's very nice
and very friendly and whatever.
But this goes into like the backstory of him becoming, you know,
a comedic actor because he started at university with some
of the other Aunty Donna guys and then he was going to be a serious actor
and how that changed.
And he was talking about how in high school,
because he's like still plays footy and if you looked at him,
you'd be like he's a regular sporty bloke or whatever.
He looks like a footy guy.
He does.
Well, and he is because he plays.
Which is Aussie rules.
But he talks about how when he was like 13, 14,
he was in the footy club room and he was told as a kid that, like,
that's the best place in the world you can be, nothing but support,
and all those kinds of things.
But he remembers looking around at the time and going,
what a pack of fuckwits.
And I have a really big problem with like sporting culture in general.
I think any culture that takes itself way too seriously,
I actually have a problem with.
But there is that kind of hyper-masculinity,
like everybody's kind of trying to outdo each other
and whip each other on the nuts with wet towels.
And often the attitude to women is pretty.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's changing and it's not everywhere.
It's definitely changing and it's not every sporting club,
but I'm saying, you know, it is.
You know, footy trip, mate.
Yeah, you see it in the media.
Get in the cheeks.
And I got, you know, I got mates like that and whatever,
who I also really like at the same time.
And also on a point to that as well,
there is still not been one Aussie rules football player in Australia
who's identified as gay.
Not one. That is crazy. I have a friend who's identified as gay. Not one.
That is crazy.
I have a friend who's a journalist who you also know.
Well, I actually haven't seen him in like five years.
But we know him.
Is he a friend?
I know him.
Anyway, and there's been a couple of times where AFL players,
Aussie rules footballers, have gone to come out and then haven't
and have gone, and they kind of pulled back because they don't want
to be the first and they don't want to be kind of targeted
because there is this thing in Australian horse football of people being targeted for their race
and various other things.
Yeah, to kind of get under their skin, right?
Definitely.
Yeah, correct.
So there is an element of footy culture.
And going back to Broider, as we were actually discussing,
he does look like a guy that would play football,
except he's bloody hilarious.
Yeah.
So fun.
You could be both, obviously, also.
Of course you can.
I've seen the footy show, Claire.
I've seen a man dress up as a woman and come out at the skit show,
the footy show, and you're like, oh, my God,
there's nothing funnier than a man dressing up as a woman.
Oh, it gets funnier every time.
But he was talking about how he was in school and then he wanted
to do theatre and he kind of chickened out the first year
and then he decided to do it.
And he said that kind of welcoming environment was so different. It was like the opposite of what he was experiencing. So that's when he kind of felled out the first year, and then he decided to do it. And he said that kind of welcoming environment was so different.
It was like the opposite of what he was experiencing.
So that's when he kind of fell in love with it.
And he talks about how Aunty Donna, which they're hugely successful,
but he's talked about how pretty much every step of the way
they've done it all by themselves.
Like they've had help from people, like, you know,
a leg up here and there and people promoting and whatever,
but it's mostly they've built everything themselves.
There's been no one person to be like, I'm going to make you a star
and whatever and I'll put you – because they've had like multiple TV deals
fall through and things like that and, you know, they've lost awards
and won awards and he just talks about the journey
and it's just fascinating.
I think if you're interested in doing something, you know –
Creatively.
Creativeness, it might be worth looking into because for me,
a lot of the stuff that I – well, Brayden's younger than me looking into. For me, a lot of the stuff that I know,
well,
Brayden's younger than me by like six years,
but a lot of the stuff that he was saying,
I'm like,
absolutely.
Yeah.
Particularly the doing it yourself.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean you,
and we've talked about this before.
There's an episode of just make the thing where we talk about your sort of how
you got into doing Mr.
Sunday movies.
Yeah.
I just don't think you ever take anything too seriously.
And if it comes through who whoop-de-loo.
Right.
Amazing.
And we're so grateful for it.
But also, as you've always said, it's so much better to be in charge
of your own ship.
And because now of things like Instagram and YouTube, you can take,
I mean, obviously they've been around for a long time,
but you have the power to take those in your own hands rather than having
to wait for a big TV network.
All right.
Anything you want to say about that before I continue with my recommendation?
No, it's called Funny and Failure by some guy.
Amazing.
Michael Cahan.
Good on you, mate.
Good on you, Michael.
You're funny and failure.
Put your name in the description of your podcast and then I choose Michael.
All right.
Don't tell him what to do.
He's successful in his own right.
He is.
Okay.
My first one is a very sneaky quick one.
You know how I like to do that to you.
I like it.
It's a recipe for chocolate shell ice cream topping.
Oh, my goodness.
I found this because I follow Jennifer Garner on Instagram, which do you some favor.
She's freaking hilarious.
Jennifer Garner, hilariously amazing.
She's great.
Yeah.
She does this sort of ridiculously failed cookie shows and they're really terribly filmed
in her own kitchen, but they're just so funny.
Her timing is hilarious.
Anyway, this recipe was in the New York Times.
It's seven ounces of bitter sweet chocolate,
two tablespoons of coconut oil.
That is it.
You just melt it together and then it becomes like your own ice magic,
which I don't know if you have that in the US or wherever you are.
Basically, it's chocolate topping for your ice cream except it goes hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's delicious.
No, it's not.
But this sounds better.
Yeah.
Ice magic is terrible.
Because actual ice magic is bad.
But this is delicious and it's kind of gone viral on the internet.
So do yourself a favour.
If you're having a movie night, go melt yourself some bittersweet chocolate
with two tablespoons of coconut oil, pour it over your ice cream.
Delish.
I love Jennifer Garner and I love her almost,
it seems like infinite tolerance for Ben Affleck.
I love you.
Yeah, of course I love you.
But if I had to choose.
She is hot.
I'll give you that.
No, I just think she's genuinely nice.
She seems really cool.
And she runs her own business too.
She's really fast.
We've talked about her before when she was interviewed on the podcast
with David Tennant.
Yes.
And she just was running her own businesses and works super hard
and is a mum as well and really into gardening and cooking and all the things that I love.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
She's like what Gwyneth Paltrow does but real.
Yeah.
Look, I love Gwyneth too.
I respect her very much.
Whatever she's doing, sticking up – sticking jade eggs up her bajuts.
She is actually.
That's a quote.
I'm well aware of all the shit that she's up to.
Actually, some of her Goop podcasts are great. The one with Brene Brown is actually. That's a quote. I'm well aware of all the shit that she's up to.
Some of her Goop podcasts are great.
The one with Brene Brown is excellent.
A lot of them are a little bit too airy-fairy for me.
Anyway, that's my first recommendation.
Our dog is trying to eat that fly now.
Okay, so there is a thing about podcast dogs.
She loves to catch flies.
She's like the Mr. Miyagi.
She just ate that fly.
Yeah, she's been eating flies all day, mate.
I know, yeah.
I know, and I sort of kind of like I respect it.
I respect it too.
It's awesome because it's always annoying me and then she just eats the fly.
It's also good for you because you used to be the one in the family
to eat the fly before we got the dog.
So it's been really good.
It took her a while to –
Like the amount of time that you freed up.
It took me a while to teach her.
Yeah.
It's a lot of like running around on all fours snapping at flies,
but she eventually got it.
Now I don't have to swallow flies anymore.
Crazy.
Like that old lady in the song.
Yeah, good song.
Isn't that, there was an old lady that swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she followed a fly.
Perhaps she'll die.
I don't think you'll die if you swallow flies.
I should know.
I swallowed a lot in my time.
Swallow flies are the most delicious.
I was going to talk about the great, I was going to talk about the great hack,
but it's like, you get it.
Facebook's ruining everybody's lives and data's being mined
and none of our thoughts are our own and the world's fucking ruined.
So forget all that.
Go eat some chocolate shell ice cream and eat some flies.
Something I'd heard of but never seen, it's called Invader Zim
and it's this show that only ran for 27 episodes from like 2001 to very early 2002.
So it was promptly cancelled.
So long ago that I was in school when this thing came out, if you can believe that.
It's like darkly funny and it's really weird and niche and like well ahead of its time.
It also was one of the first shows, and it did it before Futurama because I looked into
this, where they incorporate 3d animation into 2d animation and that's like people do that all
the time now it's in everything yeah but anyway i'm thinking i have to interrupt you all i'm
thinking about because you were talking about monsters is that show don't you open that trap
door because there's something dumb sorry and that's where my brain is but alien do you know
that man every day it's basically this claymation show called trapdoor i loved it that's where my brain has been. Do you know how that show ended? But Alien. Do you know how that show ended? That looks like a man.
Do you know how every day, it's basically this Claymotion show called Trapdoor.
I loved it.
That's why, because you were talking about like Rugrats, that's where my brain went.
I tuned out.
I'm sorry.
That's fine.
And every day, the Trapdoor, like don't open the Trapdoor, because he worked with this monster upstairs.
And every day the Trapdoor would open and a monster would come out.
And the very last episode he quit.
He's like, I'm leaving.
And I'm like, oh my, he's actually leaving.
I remember that. Oh my God, my brain has exploded in a nostalgia bubble and i'm like he's free he's
free of that like monster that then like you know keeps him upstairs that that lives upstairs that
you never really see but then after the credits he comes back and he's like you didn't really
think i'd go and i'm like oh burke you were free you could have gone anywhere you could have lived
your dream now you're back what are you you doing? The trap door's just going to open again.
Anyway, colleagues, put that down below as well.
Anyway.
We do love that show.
But that's nothing compared to the horrors that lurk beneath the trap door.
For there is always something down there in the dark waiting to come out.
Don't you open that trapdoor!
You're a fool if you dare!
Stay away from that trapdoor!
Because there's something down there.
It's suggestible pod time.
It is. It always is. It's always a suggestible pod time. It is. It always is.
It's always a suggestible pod time on this podcast.
And that's why we do a show where we say, hey, we've been watching some things.
We've been reading some things.
We've been doing some things.
We've been saying some things.
Correct.
We've been walking some things.
We've been talking some things.
We've been chalking some things.
We're like your personal shoppers for Netflix and other assorted things,
including eatable things, which I have this week.
I also have a cold.
I'm Claire.
You're James.
We're married.
Should we get on with recommending them some stuff?
They don't want to hear this banter.
I think we should.
Have you ever had a personal shopper?
No.
You have me and your mother.
You're laughing because that's actually very true.
I buy all my own clothes now because, Claire, your mother. You're laughing because that's actually very true.
I buy all my own clothes now because, Claire,
I'll have you know that you can just buy them online and you don't have to interact with anybody.
Yeah, which is why you've ended up with two pairs of cargo pants
and military boots that make you look like a GI Joe
that you're about to look like.
They're really comfortable.
And then with the farm, you wear like checkered farm shirts,
so then you look like you're about to work on a farm
except you've never worked a manual labour day in your life. They're not military boots. They're just boots. You wear like checkered farm shirts, so then you look like you're about to work on a farm,
except you've never worked a manual labor day in your life. They're not military boots.
They're just boots, like hiking boots.
They're getting around boots.
Okay, let me paint a picture for you, Lister.
They are black with laces.
They're not black.
They're like ankle boots.
They're grey.
Okay, well, charcoal.
And they're like lace up all the way.
His dad, who actually did work as a farmer and knows things,
said to him, why didn't you go to Bunnings and get the workman's boots
that have a zip on the sides so you don't have to keep lacing them up
like a fool?
And you said, I hadn't thought of that.
No, I did think of that.
Because?
Because I don't want to buy my-
You've never worked a day in your life.
My shoes from Bunnings, fucking Bunnings of all places.
It's a hardware chain.
Bunnings should change its name to Dropkick City.
What? I love Bunnings. Anyway,. It's a hardware chain. Bunnings should change its name to Dropkick City. What?
I love Bunnings.
Anyway, off topic.
Right.
B.S.
This episode is definitely not sponsored by Bunnings,
though I do love them.
I love Bunnings.
It's my happy place.
Okay, side note, extra story about to prove my point.
I don't know how we got into this, but I will continue.
You rang me the other day because I asked you to mow the lawn,
and you rang me and said,
I can't find the lawnmower.
And I said, it's in the shed.
And you said, we have a shed?
No, I knew we had a shed, but I'd forgotten.
No, because you never go in there because all of the tools that we own are mine.
And I have set the whole thing up.
You don't even know what's in there.
To clarify, when you said we have a shed, I didn't didn't then go what i remembered at that point we had a shed so i did forget but when you reminded
me i did remember that you had never literally can you admit that you had never actually looked
in that i've looked in that shed it's just got like potting mix and like a rake and shit and
the shovel and a lawn aerator i don't do any of that shit and like. And tools and a shovel and a lawn aerator.
I don't do any of that shit.
And like big secateurs and a hammer and my tool kit.
You know why I don't like doing any of that shit?
And a lawnmower and hay for the garden.
Because my family for probably like 2,000 years did that shit.
And I'm like, you know what?
I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
I'm staying indoors.
I don't want to get out there.
You know why?
Because also I don't care.
Like let everything overgrow. Good. It should. Why does everything have to be neat and tidy? Why do we have to mow our lawns every week or whatever? Why do you have to cut your beard and order ridiculous clothes
online? Anyway, this is beside the point. Let's get on with your suggestible, my friend, my soft
hand friend. I got very calloused hands, Claire. From working out in a gym.
In my indoor gym.
But, okay, so are you familiar with Calvin and Hobbes?
I'm sure you are.
No.
You know how much I don't know about him. You know Calvin and Hobbes.
It's a cartoon.
It started in the 80s.
It ended in like the early 2000s, I want to say.
No.
It's by Bill Watterson.
It's about a little boy called Calvin.
He's got spiky hair and he's got a pretend tiger friend
and they go on adventures.
It's not Calvin the chipmunk. No, it's not Calvin. You're thinking of Alvin and the
chipmunks. Which is an excellent cartoon and show, by the way. No, it's not. I love that,
Theodore with the glasses. You know Calvin and Hobbes? This is Calvin and Hobbes. Oh yeah,
I've kind of seen it around. I've never watched it. Bill Watterson created it. It's got a tiger.
He's blonde. Yeah. Anyway, Mason recommended this comic to me last year, and the second volume has come out this year.
It's called Spencer and Locke.
It's by David Perpose.
I like how you said that, Perpose.
That's his name.
I Perpose that you find out where the shed is.
Ha-ha!
I don't know why I'm sounding like Mason now.
Sorry.
I know.
I have a cold.
Now I know where it is, but if I ever forget, I'll know who to call.
Okay, anyway, go back to your stuffed tiger and your little boy story.
Okay, so but this – Jesus Christ.
You're mean when you're sick.
I know.
I just haven't seen the light of day.
I haven't got out of my garden today.
Yeah, you know what?
Get out there and dig yourself a grave and bloody lie down, mate.
I'll tell you that much.
I'll tell you that much.
Maybe I will. Yeah. Anyway. Who will mow your lawn then? Spencer and – I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you that much. Maybe I will.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Who will mow your lawn then?
Spencer and Locke.
I don't know one ever.
But Spencer and Locke, right, it's basically kind of like a knockoff of Calvin and Hobbes
where what if Spencer and Locke, when he was a kid, this boy was like he had bad parents.
Like he wasn't treated very well and his parents were mean and like abused him or whatever.
And he grew up and he kept the imaginary tiger as a mate.
But it's really worth reading.
So, yeah, Mason recommended that like a year ago,
but I thought it would be a good thing to bring up here.
That legitimately sounds like something that I would like.
It's really good.
And better than Snoopy.
It also says something.
Like Calvin Hobbes says things about things that you like about going outdoors
and appreciating things and not doing things just because everybody else does them and things like that.
Calvin Hobbes is actually really great.
Those are all my favorite things.
Yeah.
You say them in such a flat way.
Well, you know.
The great outdoors is wonderful.
You're going camping soon.
Don't even start, Claire.
Do not even start.
You should wear your military style boots and your cargo pants.
Maybe I will. Here is the problem with cargo pants that this is another reason why you only,
you used to wear cargo pants all the time when we first started dating
and then you stopped wearing them because I used to come with you to buy all your clothes.
You've only just started them again.
Let me finish.
The reason that cargo pants are the worst idea in the world is that if you don't like ironing,
which you don't, and you don't have a wife that will do for you,
which you certainly don't because I like to mow the lawn instead,
you need to iron the pockets.
And so what you do now is wash the pants and now the pockets
are all weird and sticky-uppy.
Yeah, the thing is, Claire, you don't have to iron anything.
And because I don't work a real job, I don't have to do jack shit,
and so I don't.
I haven't picked up an iron.
I pick up an iron maybe once a year to iron a shirt for bloody for going to a wedding that I don't want to do jack shit and so I don't. I haven't picked up an iron. I pick up an iron maybe once a year to iron a shirt for bloody
for going to a wedding that I don't want to go to.
Like that's the extent of my ironing, Claire.
Ironing is an absolute rort and a waste of time and I don't know why.
That's why I don't understand why you bought cargo pants.
Because they're good and they're comfy and they're slim fitting
and they're tapered at the bottom.
Do you put anything in those giant pockets?
I do, actually.
I put my wallet in there.
It's better than sitting on your back pocket.
You can throw out your spine or whatever if you do it for a long enough time.
Okay.
Anyway, what's your crap thing?
Enjoy your cargo pants.
What?
I've got many great things, the first of which is pizza toast.
Oh, my God.
You didn't invent pizza toast, did you?
No, I didn't, but I thought I did.
So back in the 90s when I would come home from school and we had like tomato sauce
and cheese and that was about it in the fridge, I used to toast my toast
and then put tomato sauce or ketchup and then dried herbs, a bit of basil,
then cheddar, and then you put it under the grill.
And the whole point of it, the key is that you have to toast the bread first.
It comes out like the best version of pizza except if you actually ordered pizza.
But when you're a kid, you can't.
And it's delicious and great.
I agree.
Is there anything better than melted cheese?
I don't think so.
Yeah, regular cheese is pretty good.
Nah, it's got to be melted.
Melted is definitely superior to regular cheese.
Really? Depends on the context. Oh, Lord. Anyway, I'm superior to regular cheese. Really.
Depends on the context.
Oh, Lord.
Anyway, I'm going to continue on.
So that was my recommendation for food, pizza toast, guys.
Everybody knows that one already.
You may as well have said I recommend water with ice.
A lot of people like, no, people were reminded.
They were brought back just in similarly how you did it with your little boy
in Tiger Nostalgia Walk that you just did before.
I can't remember the name of it.
Hobbs?
Yeah, Hobbs.
Hobbs, there we go.
Anyway, I'm bringing back pizza toast.
Anyhoo.
Thank you for listening to Suggestable.
And remember, you don't have to mow your lawn or talk to your wife.
What?
You do, however, have to eat pizza, toast, and wear cargo pants apparently.
But if you do mow the lawn, it's a good excuse to not talk to your wife.
This has been going on for way too long.
I can't mow the lawn, mama.
It's suggestible, pod.
It's the only podcast that you're currently listening to,
unless you're dual listening to podcasts,
in which case you're an absolute madman.
And people can live their lives however they like.
Yeah, but that's offensive and unacceptable and you shouldn't do it.
That's where I draw the line.
Why not?
You can mix your medium so you can read a book and listen to something
is what I'm saying.
No, no.
I am the definitive dictator of this show and I say one thing at a time.
You Gen Xers are all the same, mate.
No, no.
And I am the queen of doing many things at a time,
but you never do them properly. You're also not a Gen genetics. One thing at a time. I thought you would flip out
on that. Yeah, I know. I turned 34 this week and even your mother thought that I was 35 because
you have been like incepting the idea that I'm 35 and just a year older than I am for like 10 years.
just a year older than I am for like 10 years.
Everybody's confused now.
Everybody is confused.
Anyway, get on with your recommendation.
Okay, the first part. I don't have a lot of time left.
I'm old.
As people may have gathered from this conversation,
that I have made a habit over the years of being as annoying as possible.
It's like one of my greatest strengths,
just to be an incredibly annoying human being on a day-to-day basis.
One would say it's your gift, your only gift.
Yeah, I would not deal with that.
I've probably toned it down over the years, don't get me wrong, but it's still in me.
You know what I mean?
I still like to use it.
It's fun.
So this is why my first recommendation, suggestible if you will speak to me, it's called Untitled
Goose Game.
It's by actually a melbourne uh
video game studio called house house it's out on multiple platforms so here's the description
if you're unaware of what this is it says featuring a horrible goose that's you a town
full of people trying to get on with their day and a dedicated honk button so basically it looks
like this storybook world when you open it up like your head pops out of a little, a little hedge and you'll wander around and you just
bother people. So like you steal the hat off a farmer, like grab all his stuff and throw it into
the lake, like scare people. So they're like, when they're hammering something, they hit their own
hand and fall over. I wish listening, you could see the hand actions that are going with this
description. I have to say, I don't like video games except for Zelda, as previously mentioned, and Mario Kart.
This may be now on the list of my favorite video games.
You won't play it, though.
I think you're well beyond being able to use the controller now.
I love it.
I actually had a visceral reaction when I saw the goose pull a tulip out of the garden
because a tulip takes like freaking six months to grow.
Oh no.
You have to put it in early at the exact right time and then they only flower for like a
few weeks before they go a wiltier growth.
Yeah, exactly.
So if someone pulled my tulip out of the ground.
He puts it back though.
I would kick that goose up its wazoo over the fence.
Goose are, they're rude and annoying animals, but it's fun to be one.
Oh, your dog loves them. He thinks they're watchdogs. He said when he was on the farm, he used to have geese as watchdogs. Over the fence. Goose are rude and annoying animals, but it's fun to be one.
Your dad loves them.
He thinks they're watchdogs.
He said when he was on the farm he used to have geese as watchdogs.
He also had dogs though, so I don't know what he's talking about there.
He had that little tiny dog.
You can't have two different types of watchdogs.
It's offensive.
He had a chihuahua that was like this tiny, tiny dog that would just round up sheep.
And it was a terrible dog.
It hated everybody but him.
But him.
Yeah, I feel like he trained it that way. I'm like, why did you get this dog? I never met it, but I'm like, why did you get this dog? round up shape. And it was a terrible dog. It hated everybody but him. But him. Yeah.
I feel like he trained it that way.
I'm like, why did you get this dog?
I never met it, but I'm like, why did you get this dog?
Your dad has the same trait as you.
He likes to bother people.
That's true.
He is annoying.
You are a goose.
He likes the long con kind of prank as well.
Yeah.
Your middle name is Goose.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
Jimmy Annoying Goose.
That's my name.
Anyway, look, Untitled Goose Game.
It's really cool.
And it's fun that it's a Melbourne studio. I think that's really cool. Bloody check it out if you love Goose. Untitled Goose. That's my name. Anyway, look, Untitled Goose Game. It's really cool and it's fun that it's a Melbourne studio. I think
that's really cool. Bloody check it out if
you love Goose. Untitled Goose Game.
I also enjoy that title. It's cool.
Me too. Alright, my turn?
Oh well. Can I do my recommendation?
I would love you to. That's what we're here for.
Alright, excellent. So, I went
to see an incredible musical
last night that you were supposed to see and then our son
got sick and you sacrificed yourself again because the first time we got tickets for it he got sick and
we both stayed home yes and then last night oh god well like one of us has to go to this yeah
and you to be fair were pretty wrecked and tired yeah and i think also it's one of those things
where you would have found somebody to go with easier than i would have so i was part of it i'm
like oh god who do i call do i call my friend Joe? He's not going to want to see this.
Oh, no, not Barry.
He sucks.
Barry doesn't suck.
He's a lovely man.
Anyway, well, you were right because I found a friend very quickly.
Yes, like immediately.
Yeah, correct.
Not that I have more friends than you, just that your friends don't like doing things
like seeing musicals.
Anyway, this particular one, it tells the remarkable true story of thousands of stranded passengers in the aftermath of September 11
and the terrorist attacks that happened in 2001
when the Twin Towers were hit by a plane.
Basically, American airspace for the first time in history
was completely shut down.
And so within an instant, they had to make a call
to ground all of the planes and they were grounded in Canada.
They shot them out of the air.
Yeah.
No, God.
So that was 250 aircraft diverted to 17 different airports
and this musical tells the story of one particular airport.
So it's based around the stories of 7,000 passengers
from all over the world who were stranded in a place called Newfoundland on an island off the far northeast coast
of Canada.
What year was it established?
The town?
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I'll look it up.
It's actually called Gander, the small town.
Because I want to make a very specific joke.
Right.
Okay.
So Gander had a massive airport that was no longer in use.
The actual town of Gander had a population of 9,000.
So if you imagine they had six traffic lights. I can't imagine that, Claire. Six traffic lights?
They're a tiny town, right? I mean, it's more traffic lights than the town that we live in.
So within a couple of hours, they had 7,000 people land from 95 different countries all
over the world who spoke all different languages of different backgrounds and faiths. People who were Hindi, people who only ate kosher, people who were Muslim, people who
spoke French and German and English and Chinese. And there were African people as well who came
there too who didn't speak any English. It's just so remote there. So the only reason they had a big
enough airport to hold the 38 planes was that it used to be a stopover because back in the day planes couldn't make it all the way across the ocean
without refuelling.
It's true.
Yeah.
Look it up, people.
Planes were different than now.
Oh, you're so annoying.
No, it's true, Claire.
I'm agreeing with you.
Exactly.
Planes couldn't just fly over things they needed to stop for.
Okay.
Like Newfoundland, which, by the way, established in 1497, more like Oldfoundland.
Got them.
Is that why you went?
Yes.
That's the only reason you looked up the-
Because if it was like 1967, I'd be like, well,
I can't really use that joke now, can I?
Oh, God, you go to many lengths.
Yeah, for a crap joke.
For a crap joke.
Anyway, so I'll start rambling.
If you get a chance to see that, if your city is showing Come From Away,
I would recommend it with a thousand thumbs up.
It's so good.
That's a lot of thumbs up.
Off you go.
I have many thumbs.
That's true.
And ambidextrous.
No, that's two hands, isn't it?
You're thinking of thumb-by-desk-trix.
Thumb-by-destrous.
Yeah.
My weird cousin with a thumb for a head.
Imagine if he had a thumb for a head. Have you ever seen the picture of the guy? Good old Thumbo. The guy who looks like a thumb for a head. Imagine if he had a thumb for a head.
Have you ever seen the picture of the guy?
Good old Thumbo.
The guy who looks like a thumb?
No.
Okay, I'm going to recommend this.
Is this like someone that you know?
No, no, it's just a picture of a guy that's just got a particular angle
where he just kind of looks like a thumb.
What do you mean?
That's it.
Like his head looks like a thumb.
The way that the angle, it's angled.
Yeah, it just looks a bit like a thumb.
Okay, can you, colleagues, can you also link that picture of the thumb man?
I mean, I don't want to be making fun of this.
Or my cousin, you know, who looks like a good old thumb bow.
Yeah.
Anyway, thumbs are very useful.
I don't want to be making fun of people because of a bad photo.
I'm sure he's very handsome in real life.
I'm sure he is.
As handsome as Justin Trudeau, in fact.
Not as black-faced.
Okay, so.
So that's cool.
All right, we've only got 22 minutes left.
22 minutes left.
We've got heaps of time.
No, I mean eight minutes to go.
Oh, let's just take a break.
Oh, God.
I'm going to have a nap.
Yeah, this is your nap time.
I'm keeping you from your nap, guys.
I really love that.
I know, this is tragic.
I was up too early because when you go to the gym in the morning,
it means I have to get up.
All right, stop banging on.
And it's an absolute nightmare.
Okay, so the last thing I'm going to talk about is something
that we watched together.
It's called Book Smart.
It's by Olivia Wilde, director Olivia Wilde,
who people might know from the movie Tron,
from the movie Cowboys and Aliens.
From her starring role in House.
From House, the TV show House.
She was Dr. Remy 13 Hadley.
Is that what?
Okay.
Yeah, that was her name in House, and I really liked her character.
Which episode of House was it where someone comes in with a disease
and they think that they've nailed it, so they cure it,
and then they turn around and the person's, like, foaming at the mouth
and they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they're like, this isn't rabies at all.
This is a super virus or whatever.
And then House is like, I don't know what to do.
And they're like, House, listen up, House.
You've been right every single other week.
But this time, your practice is, and we're shutting you down, House.
And then he's like, I've just had an epiphany.
And then they save the day.
And then they're like, you just made it through this time, House.
But you're bloody lucky it worked out for you.
Because they've bought a director's house.
They're going to come down on your house.
All right.
All right.
So which episode is that? You're lame at your point. Which episode is that which episode is that though this is so specific james i'd have
to look it up you'd have to look it up every single episode of house someone could google
all of that and tell me that'd be great all right book smart so olivia wild i think maybe i've loved
this one of the reasons being it is very rare a A, to see a film with two female characters
and their friendship at this age, and they're not particularly model-esque.
They're not kind of all sexy or whatever.
They're very smart.
Their friendship is really intense.
They build each other up a lot.
They build each other up a lot.
They're really confident
It's not like
Oh we're
Normally
The way this kind of story goes
Is that
They're outcasts
And bumbling nerds
And then they
And everybody hates them
Which there is I guess
An element of that
But they're normally
Like down on themselves
And they feel really sad
They've got braces and glasses
And then inevitably
They end up getting a makeover
And then the hot man
Hot
Sure
Kid falls to them or whatever.
That doesn't happen in this.
They're very confident.
They back each other.
They're really smart.
There's a scene where they both start talking in Mandarin to each other
because you can tell how intelligent they are.
They're also really sharply funny.
And for me to see the kind of friendship that I know
and experience all the time because women,
female friendships like that, we talk so fast to each other see the kind of friendship that I know and experience all the time because women female
friendships like that we talk so fast to each other and the way they talk to each other and
then the comedy of errors and the like subtleties just it made me want to cry because I have so
many smart funny friends who are women right yeah I very rarely see them depicted on screen
well they're not actors are are they, your friend?
No, shut up.
I know it's easy for you to laugh at it.
No, no, I know what you mean. It's the same when I saw Wonder Woman.
It's the same feeling I get when I see Captain Marvel, right?
It is so rare for women to not only be funny and smart,
but also be goofy and gross.
They get to be really gross in this as well.
Yeah.
And that doesn't happen very often for women on screen.
So that's our recommendation.
Off you go.
Your turn.
All right, Claire.
Do you, knowing that you have, have you seen the movie Yesterday?
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed very much in the forefront.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
That is true, yes.
Oh, I'm married to Jimmy Goose Clements.
That was terrible.
I didn't enjoy that.
I'm sorry.
I hope nobody else did.
But listen up, everybody.
The movie yesterday.
Suddenly.
Oh, God.
I wish this podcast was 12 minutes long because then it would be over.
So this is a movie directed by Danny Boyle,
who's one of my favourite directors.
He directed the movie Sunshine, which is one of my favourite movies of all time.
It's a sci-fi movie in space where you've got to go and reignite the sun.
If you haven't seen it, check it out.
It's really good.
It sounds ridiculous.
You've never talked about it.
I know.
I should talk about it more.
It's also Mason's favourite movie, and if you ask him on Twitter,
he'll definitely agree.
Everyone's at some point an annoying
goose in a video game. That's very true.
I was doing it just today. Anyway, I would recommend
I probably wouldn't go see it at the movies
but it's a good date night movie and I
really would recommend settling in
and watching it on a cold night. And I
love music. Oh, here
he goes. Okay, can I do mine now?
Fine, Claire. I mean, that was ours.
I brought that to us together. Alright, okay. Well, Claire. I mean, that was ours. I brought that to us together.
Oh, together.
All right.
Okay, well, excellent.
I get an extra one then.
What?
Woo-hoo.
Okay, thanks.
You won't even believe.
This is a bit of sizzle for next week.
You're not even going to believe the recommendation we've got lined up next week.
You're going to lose it.
You're going to lose your tiny mind.
Tiny minds, Claire.
That's not how you get people to come back by insulting them.
You say pandering things to them.
Like we've got the best listeners in the world.
This wouldn't be possible without any of you.
This is really a show about you, the listener.
That's what you're going to do.
Trust me, Claire.
You're an expert.
I am.
You are.
Happy 35th birthday, Claire, by the way.
I'm 30 freaking four.
I'm ready.
Are you ready?
I wasn't ready.
You asked me before the show, I'm eating a walnut or something.
Well, tough.
I've started the ball rolling already.
My name is Claire.
You're James.
We recommend you things.
I'm excited to recommend things.
Yeah.
There's four flies in the studio as well today.
It's so annoying.
I know, but it's okay.
They don't make any noise.
That is lovely. Just know that they're bothering me this entire time. You're very bothered. Anyway,
on that note, what will you watch or read or listen to that has been unbothering you this week?
Well, I was about to call you Mason. Well, Claire, I've been watching on Netflix. It's
called Living With Yourself and it stars, it's a black comedy, and it stars Paul Rudd.
You love everything with Paul Rudd.
You have a massive man boner for him.
Man boner.
I think that's just a boner.
No, but it's a boner for a man.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's fair enough.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like him.
He's good.
Yeah, I do too.
And he's somehow 50.
In this show he's 37.
I'm like, yeah, probably.
Have you ever seen the movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton? No. It's somehow 50. In this show, he's 37. I'm like, yeah, probably. Have you ever seen the movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton?
No.
It's like that.
Have you ever seen the movie The Sixth Day with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
No.
It's like that.
They're very similar, actually.
All right.
Okay.
Can I talk about mine now?
Sure, yeah.
Well, I thought I could talk about a thing that we're both sort of watching at the moment.
I'm about halfway through now.
It's called Modern Love Story.
Ooh, it's so good.
It's Love Story set in New York, but it's not love stories like you'd be.
They're not any conventional love stories.
It's not your bloody Romeo and Juliet.
No, do you know where it came from, mate?
It's from an article or?
No, no, you gooseberry.
It's based on true stories or something, isn't it?
Oh, God, no.
So it's based on a column called Modern Love.
So it is based on an article.
No, no, not just one article.
It's a column in the New York Times.
That's what I mean.
It's obviously multiple stories, Claire. No, listen to me. You listen to me.
The Modern Love was a column in the New York Times. It's now a podcast and they've just turned it into a TV show on Amazon Prime. And it's all about relationships, feelings, love and
betrayal. But it's also based on these incredibly beautiful essays.
And you can actually go online to the New York Times.
They have them all there.
Okay.
Because they're all true stories.
So each, so this one has eight episodes.
Yes.
And they're each, they're beautifully crafted.
Yeah.
But they're each based on a true story.
Yeah.
I think so, yeah.
I think you'll sort of see a reflection of you somewhere in it.
Except if you like Paul Rudd because he is not in it.
No, but, you know, you can go and watch the movie about
living with two Paul Rudds, James' dream.
It's a TV series, Claire.
Man burner time.
I don't know why I said that.
It's so gross.
All right.
It's man burner time, everyone.
You just stole my suggestion.
Well, I wanted to talk about it together.
Oh, it's so cool.
Did it make you think about us, James?
It did a little bit, yeah, because, you know, in every kind of story,
you could definitely pick out elements of things that have happened
in our lives, I would say.
I reckon the Devs.
Except maybe the doorman one.
Yeah.
The doorman one.
Yeah, the doorman one.
Yeah.
I think the Dev Patel episode just reminded me of us in the way they
interact with each other.
Yeah, right.
When they met.
That was how when he meets this girl that he like just falls head over heels
with in love at the very beginning.
And that was the feeling that, you know, when you just zing with someone
and then that was how I felt when I met you.
Wouldn't know.
Anyway, but it's just and it reminded me of like our first date
and that's what's so beautiful about it.
And they go to the zoo.
We love going to the zoo.
That's what I mean.
That reminds me because we love going to the zoo and looking at the animals and you're
like, oh, the animal kingdom.
I bloody love the zoo.
I bloody love it.
You planned a beautiful date for me at the zoo.
I did.
It was so romantic.
Anyway, cool.
I didn't really.
I was just like, do you want to go to the zoo?
That was the extent of, do you want to get an ice cream at the zoo?
No, you didn't.
You planned snacks. Did I? Which you know I i love you do love snacks no i know that you need snacks otherwise you'll turn
yeah i know my friends have like kind of cottoned on to that as well my son is exactly the same he
needs snacks at all times anyways i know you wanted to recommend something correct i did you
want to recommend your skinny little knees why are you going on about that today all i've been walking around the house and all he keeps saying is Did you want to recommend your skinny little knees? Why are you going on about that today?
All I've been walking around the house and all he keeps saying is,
what are you doing with your skinny little knees?
They're not even that skinny.
You've got skinnier legs than me.
You've got skinny little knees.
You're like a chicken-legged man.
You're a bit more balanced now, but when we first started dating,
you were doing all upper body weights, mate, and nothing below. No leg day.
No leg day.
So you had like two little toothpick legs.
And jet black hair. And jet black hair.
And jet black hair.
You were the red streak when we first met.
I did, yeah.
Pretty cool stuff.
You were like 21.
I looked terrible.
Freshly 21.
It's all right.
I had that weird short fringe.
I remember.
We both looked weird.
Remember that photo that was taken of us on the night we met
and we've hidden it away and I've lost it now because it was so awful.
It'll show up again.
Every like six years it shows up and we both look at it and go,
oh my God. So awful. What's six years it shows up and we both look at it and go, oh, my God.
So awful.
What's next for you, skinny little knees?
All right.
I feel like I'm coming around to it.
The thing that is happening that always happens with you is that you start
calling me something and I get really annoyed by it and then over time
it becomes affectionate and then I like it.
And then it sometimes gets annoying again.
Yeah, but now I'm starting to be like, yeah,
do have skin a little bit.
People will be able to chart the progression of this on the show,
no doubt.
It's all right, you old egg.
I used to call you egg a lot.
That's true.
What was next?
Oh, yeah, I'm recommending another thing.
That's you.
Oops.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
No, we don't wish you a Merry Christmas.
It's the time of the year when Christmas is upon us.
Oh, my goodness.
Christmas comes earlier every year.
Next it's going to be hot cross buns in the store.
It should come even earlier.
I love the carols.
I love the lights.
I love the decorations.
I love the two early Christmas trees up in the shopping centres.
I'm very excited.
I love the way that you don't have to go to a shopping centre anymore
for Christmas.
You can just like buy stuff online.
Then you don't have to elbow an old lady off a balcony to get to the last
whatever.
Yeah, you're that kind of person.
You're the Grinch of Christmas.
As I've said to you before, the Grinch of Christmas is just the Grinch.
You can apply that to other things.
You could say you're the Grinch of sports.
You're the Grinch of eating red apples.
Right.
You're the Grinch of life, specifically Christmas.
Anyway, I'm Claire, you're James,
and this is a podcast
about recommending you things to watch, read and listen to.
That's right.
What have you got for us this week, Grinch of all things? You fucking grub.
Jesus.
I don't usually start the show like this. I'm sorry, listeners.
That's okay.
Anyway, get on with it, mate.
The first thing I thought I could talk about.
I am sorry. That was forceful.
I'm okay, Claire. Look, the thing about me is, the thing about the Grinch is, he's got a very small heart The first thing I thought I could talk about. I am sorry. That was forceful. I'm okay, Claire.
Look, the thing about me is, the thing about the Grinch is he's got a very small heart.
He's miserable and angry all the time.
Or doesn't he come good?
You have a soul that's black and a heart of rocks.
Doesn't he come good at the end?
Isn't that the point of the Grinch?
I think he does, yeah.
Great.
I'm waiting.
One day.
I just knocked the mic as well.
It's not happening.
I'm not doing that.
Okay, so the first thing I want to talk about, look, we're probably going to do a big episode
on this on The Weekly Planet, my other more successful podcast.
But it's Watchmen, the TV series.
Success doesn't equal quality.
That's true, but in this case it doesn't.
So, wow, you are on fire, Claire,
for things that you find funny that hurt my feelings this week.
That's my favorite.
That's the whole basis of our marriage.
So the Watchmen, the TV series, it's a sequel to the 1986 Alan Moore graphic novel.
It's not a sequel to the movie.
It's not a sequel to all the other weird spinoff stuff that's been going on.
You probably haven't, you haven't read many comics.
I'm assuming you haven't read Watchmen, one of the seminal, it's called one of the greatest
pieces of literature of all time.
I've read Asterix.
Not the same.
I've read a little bit of Tintin.
Yeah, again, these are not relevant to what I'm talking about today.
There's only kind of one key element that's changed from the comic,
which I won't spoil, which is in that movie.
It involves a giant squid.
But anyway.
That's one of my scariest creatures.
I'll quickly spoil the ending of Watchmen though, but you should read it.
Okay.
Spoiler.
Yes.
Spoiler alert.
The giant squid eats everybody.
Not exactly.
And then there's one man watching called the Watchmen.
Wouldn't it be Watchman?
Wouldn't it be Watchman?
Not Watchman?
I thought it was Watchman.
No, it be Watchman, not Watchman? I thought it was Watchman. No, it's Watchman.
There is a Watchman in it because there's a guy who repairs watches
who becomes the blue guy who turns into a god.
So it's that kind.
And then so we've got and it's just this interesting idea
behind vigilantism but then the comic was that it was hinted
that Robert Redford was going to run for president and he got in
and he's just been president for 30 years.
I like Robert Redford.
Yeah, Robert Redford's quite politically active
so it kind of made sense at the time and it still does now.
As the actual actor playing himself?
There's images of him but he hasn't shown up as of yet.
I don't think he's in it at all.
But he's playing himself though.
He's not in it but there's like images of him.
Yeah, so the actor Robert Redford is the president Redford. The actor Robert Redford is the president.
Yes, the actor Robert Redford is the president.
He's great in stuff now.
He's great in everything.
It's terrific.
That really amazing book that I read and now I can't remember what it's called
and it's also a Netflix series and it's about ageing
and it's an older couple.
Our Souls at Night.
Our Souls at Night.
I haven't seen that.
Which is hilarious because if you say it fast it sounds like Our Souls at Night. It does sound. Our Souls at Night. Our Souls at Night. I haven't seen that. Which is hilarious because if you say it fast it sounds like
Our Souls at Night.
It does sound like Our Souls.
But it's actually a really touching romantic film about love
at an older age.
Yeah.
And the book is excellent reading.
Oh, I'm going to check this out.
The Netflix show is really beautiful.
Really?
It kind of makes you cry.
It's about love.
It's great.
It's a little bit like an extended version of A Modern Love.
Yeah, okay.
You know the show we talked about on Amazon Prime?
Well, one of my favourite movies is, I mean, of a lot of people's,
is Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, which is a Robert Redford film.
And the Sundance Film Festival, which was started by Robert Redford,
is named after that movie as well.
And, yeah, so anyway, check out Our Souls at Night.
I guess that's what we're talking about now.
No, The Watchman.
I would say, yeah, Watchman, yeah. Watchman we're talking about now. No, The Watchman.
I would say, yeah, Watchman.
Watchman.
Watchman.
The Watchman.
The Watchman.
Okay, no, I genuinely think that sounds great.
I'm sorry I made fun of you.
It's just I'm in a fun mood for making fun of you today. Well, I'm in a fun mood for being respectful,
which is what I bring to this podcast.
Respectfulness and just general grumpiness.
It's true.
Grinch of the Sunday household.
Other than Our Souls at Night, which is an excellent recommendation. Just general grumpiness. It's true. Grinch of the Sunday household.
Other than assholes at night, which is an excellent recommendation.
I love saying that.
It's so funny because the movie is so serious and heartfelt.
Anyway.
I think assholes at night are pretty serious.
Yeah, only at night time though.
During the day they like to have a few laughs.
What are you doing today?
That was an asshole laugh. I know what you're doing, but like what's happening?
I had some ice cream before we went on air.
Oh, okay.
I've had a sugar high.
That's an arsehole during the day.
I'm looking at an arsehole during the day right now.
I'll tell you that much.
Is it my turn?
It's always your turn, Clare.
Excellent.
You know how I normally love to read a book?
Well, this week I haven't.
I'm literate. Look at me. I'm actually reading a book currently Well, this week I haven't. I'm literate.
Look at me.
I'm actually reading a book currently, but it's a bit of a long one,
so I'll talk about it later.
The Bible.
James, I've read that already.
I live my life by the Bible.
I don't believe you.
No, I really don't.
I married you, Satan's son.
I don't know.
I'm so sorry.
Satan's son's name is Damien Clare?
That is true.
He loves to go out and party, Damien.
He's a real guy.
Not real guy, but that's what his actual son's name is.
Is it really? It's in like mythology, yeah.
Oh really? I thought you just made that up. Like Daryl from Next Door.
Imagine if you live next door to Satan's
son. I wouldn't talk to him.
You don't talk to your neighbours anyway.
Yeah, I know, but I extra wouldn't talk to him.
And he'd try and get in with you because he'd be real slick and smooth
and I'd be like, get the fuck out of here, Satan's son.
I know what you're doing.
What if he didn't want to be anything like his dad, though?
What if he was trying to forge his own identity?
He was trying to like leave the shackles.
People aren't their parents.
They aren't.
There's actually an interesting comic by Mark Miller called American Jesus
where it's about you think it's the Messiah and then, spoiler alert,
it turns out it's the son of the devil.
And then it's like, well, is he, though, a good guy?
Because you can use this.
It doesn't matter.
Good Omens is also about that.
Sorry, go.
All right, but that is really interesting.
People are not their parents.
Good to know.
Though sometimes I look like my mother more and more every day.
It's true.
Yep, so that's an interesting conundrum too.
That's a good thing, though, Claire. Your mother's a delight. My mum's excellent and she listens to this show. Hi, Mum. You're the best. Yep, so that's an interesting conundrum too. That's a good thing though, Claire.
Your mother's a delight.
And she listens to this show.
Hi, Mum.
You're the best.
Oh, thank God I said that.
Anyway, my first recommendation is for Mike Babiglia's new stand-up special.
You might have seen some of his specials before.
I've seen all of them.
There's Thank God for Jokes, My Girlfriend's Boyfriend I Particularly Like,
and this new one, which is called The New One.
But what's interesting about this one, I guess, compared to the other ones,
because I feel like my life is kind of – we're kind of on a similar trajectory.
So by the time –
To a Netflix comedy special.
No, I'm just saying this guy, like we're hitting the same points in our lives
at similar times.
Do you really think that people would want to watch you on a Netflix comedy special?
No, I'm saying our life – we're the same age is what I'm saying.
We're doing the same things.
What would you talk about on your Netflix comedy special?
I'd talk about how much my wife makes me do a podcast I hate.
No.
Oh, it's not funny anymore, is it?
You enjoy it.
And actually, to be fair, I'd watch you in a Netflix comedy special.
Would you?
A lot of people would.
Yeah.
Well, look, okay, fine.
I'll just get one then.
Well, you're on the same trajectory as famous comedian Mike Babiglia,
apparently.
You've completely misconstrued what I said there.
We're not even in the same ballpark creatively.
He's obviously way better and way successful than me.
Yeah, anyway, that's it.
Watch it if you want to.
What is your favorite of the Mike Babiglia? I like My Girlfriend's Boyfriend. Yeah, anyway, that's it. Watch it if you want to. What is your favourite of the Michael B. Lear?
I like My Girlfriend's Boyfriend.
Yeah, I love that too.
They're all good, so you can't really go wrong.
Yeah.
He's directed some movies, yeah.
Yeah, he's really cool.
I feel bad now that I said that you shouldn't do a Netflix comedy special.
You would be great.
It's never been a desire of mine to do stand-up.
I hate being on stage.
I know, you really do.
I'm not insulted that you think I couldn't get a multi-million dollar
Netflix comedy deal despite having never done stand-up comedy.
Well, I thought that maybe you thought you could.
No.
Well, I don't know.
I do not think that.
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
I'm not that funny.
I think you're funny.
Thanks, but.
Look at.
Got him. Well, maybe I can just stand on stage and people are going to laugh at how funny. I think you're funny. Thanks, babe. Look at. Got him.
Well, maybe I can just stand on stage and people are going to laugh at how funny look
that I am.
Great.
I'll be in the front row.
All right.
What's your crap recipe this week?
Hey, no, no recipe.
I want to talk about a show, The Crown.
The Crown.
The Crown.
You haven't seen it, so don't give that.
I have zero fucking tolerance for the royal family.
Yeah.
You know how Mason feels about the Lion King and the hierarchy?
That's how I feel about the royal family.
All right, both have equal political weight, I guess.
I'm not saying they're all evil human beings,
but I'm saying that idea of a monarchy and you're in charge
just because your fucking dad was in charge, it's absolutely asinine.
The system is broken.
And I know they don't have any real power, but quite frankly,
if they all got tipped into a volcano, my day would not change.
Anyway, what were you going to say?
However, it makes for great TV viewing.
I'd definitely watch them getting tipped into a volcano, actually.
That would make great viewing.
All right, is it my turn again?
It's your turn.
You haven't got much time, Claire.
Yeah, I know.
I'm keeping track of it.
You better hurry up.
Don't be looking at me.
Oh, my goodness.
I know. I know. I Claire. Yeah, I know. I'm keeping track of it. You better hurry up. Don't be looking at me. Oh, my goodness. I know.
I know.
I know.
I know you know.
I get so excited.
Okay, so it's the most wonderful time of the year.
I know that you are the Grinch of Christmas.
Again, it's just the Grinch.
However, every week now until Christmas,
I'm going to be recommending a Christmas theme thing,
and you can suck your balls.
Oh, that's you saved it.
Don't worry.
You really pulled back there at the end.
Well done.
For any kids listening.
I'm so sorry.
You really are that kind of person.
I just get so excited.
I got carried away.
I started with all the swears.
Anyway, I am recommending today Simply Nigella's Christmas special.
Now, it's an old one from a few years ago.
Nigella Lawson hosts it.
Obviously, it's Simply Nigella.
She's amazing.
I love Nigella Lawson.
Her recipes are always spot on.
And not only are they spot on, they're also really enjoyable to cook,
which I think is important.
She makes things pretty easy.
And when you actually follow her recipe, very enjoyable.
The chocolate pours.
You can stir it around.
I love it.
If you, like me, would like to get into the Christmas spirit
and are starting to think about what you might make for Christmas lunch.
I'm not.
Yeah, I know you are because you don't do bloody anything at Christmas time.
You just complain.
Well, we're not doing Christmas this year.
And then eat the delicious food.
Unlike last year when we did two Christmases, one after the other.
It was the best, mate.
Both at our house.
It was so good.
It was insane.
And I loved every minute, most of it, until I lost my mind a little bit.
But still, I think my personal favorite meal is a ham or a pork, a slaw,
and some kind of potato-y thing.
That, to me, is a dream on a plate.
Delicious.
Scott over at NerdSync, I'm a big fan of.
He's a good dude as well, a real-life good dude. He said this thing on a plate. Delicious. Scott over at NerdSync, I'm a big fan of. He's a good dude as well, real life good dude.
He said this thing on Twitter the other day.
He said ham is the worst meat, even if you think you like it.
It's not good.
Well, he's a fool.
No, here's the thing though.
He is a goddamn fool.
I thought about it and I'm like, I like ham, but then I thought about.
Christmas ham.
I don't think.
There is nothing better than a Christmas ham.
I don't think there is another meat that I like less than ham.
Yeah, but you like pork.
Pork is like the vegan version.
I do like pork.
And I know I'm sure there are lots of vegans and vegans,
and I do really care about the planet, and I know it's not very good for the planet.
I do, but it's so delicious.
Just let me have my ham.
You're such a killjoy.
You hate everything to do with Christmas.
Why?
Why do you just come and, like, just gloom all over my Christmas cheer?
Let me have a Christmas special with Nigella.
How about this?
When I need to be cheered up, sometimes I just go and watch Nigella's Christmas special.
Next week.
She has fairy lights while she cooks.
Next week I will recommend a Christmas something, all right?
Will you?
Yes.
Yeah, you'll probably recommend shitting in a pudding container
and putting it in the oven and then serving it up for Christmas lunch.
Here you go, everybody.
That's what I think about Christmas.
You don't need to put your shit.
Shit pudding doesn't need to be baked.
You know that more than anybody.
I don't know what's going to me again this week.
You did a line of cocaine as long as this table.
No, I ate some fruitcake before.
Oh.
That's what's happened.
Fruitcake's not even Christmas.
I know, but I bought some because you know how much I love Christmas.
I've started early.
Also fruitcake.
I've already put up our Christmas tree.
Fruitcake is the ham of cakes.
No, I know, but I really felt like it.
We're getting off topic and we're running out of time.
Amazing. Anyway, I'm done felt like it. We're getting off topic and we're running out of time.
Amazing.
Anyway, I'm done now.
But that is my recommendation. If you want to get into the Christmas spirit.
No.
And like old Christmas shitty pants over there,
then I highly recommend going to Watcher's Special.
I like the day, but everything else about Christmas can go into that volcano.
I just love all the traditions and the lights and the ginger spice
and the carols.
I love a carol.
We all love carol.
Thank you to Rock Hollings, as always, for editing this show
and editing our ramble.
I can't believe he has to do this.
Particularly editing out James' gloominess.
You can't.
I've put gloominess all peppered throughout this episode.
Do you know what?
When you die, I'm not going to put James Clement on your tombstone.
I'm just going to say Mr. Gloomy.
Yeah.
He lies Mr. Gloomy, Grinch of Christmas.
Also, everybody, just so you know, when I die, it's not an accident
and that's all I'm going to say.
So we've all got things going on when I die.
What do you mean?
Let's just say that maybe somebody took me out.
What?
Are you insinuating that I'm going to murder you?
I'm not insinuating anything.
You're insinuating I'm going to murder you.
And you would be correct.
Welcome to Suggestible.
It's the time of day that we like to suggest things to you.
Well, not for us because normally we do this during the day.
We're recording at night where we're both fading fast.
You said we weren't going to tell them.
No, I said fading fast.
Fast. Quick. High energy. Never stop. Not even for a second. where we're both fading fast. You said we weren't going to tell them. No, I said fading fast. You said fun, fast, quick, happy.
High energy, never stop, not even for a second.
Don't show your weaknesses to your listeners.
You're wearing your special glasses that you wear at night now.
I am wearing my night glasses.
Yeah, that make you look kind of cute like Harry Potter.
Thank you.
By the way, I'm Claire.
You're James.
We're married.
Yep.
Boom, end episode.
What else do you need?
What else do you want?
I know what you might want, some bloody suggestibles. Do you want me to kick things off? Yeah, it. End episode. What else do you need? What else do you want? I know what you might want, some bloody suggestibles.
Do you want me to kick things off?
Yeah, it's your turn, gentlemen's first-year-old boot.
I'm bringing it back today.
Didn't you bring it back last week?
Yeah, I'm bringing it back every week.
I'm just excited for it to be back every week forever.
Right, so I think most of the things I'm talking about today
we're both kind of going to cover together.
The first one is –
Nah, I brought extra things.
I brought extra things too. But the first one is Frozen 2, which is a movie, we're both kind of going to cover together. The first one is Frozen. Nah, I bought extra things. I bought extra things too.
But the first one is Frozen 2, which is a movie that we've both seen separately.
Into the unknown.
Do you want me to sing the rest of it?
Do I want you to sing the entire song?
No, I don't want that.
I do not want that.
Nobody wants that.
They can listen to the soundtrack if they want.
Okay, so if you didn't know, Into the Unknown,
if you have not seen Frozen 1, is kind of like the let it go of the movie.
What do you mean if they haven't seen Frozen 1?
Well, they have seen it.
Oh, stop being so mean, you old grub.
I don't even know what you're saying.
Your wrinkles look particularly stand out to you today.
My what?
Your wrinkles.
Thank you.
When you get tired, you get all wrinkly eyed.
Wrinkly eyed.
Thank you.
But look, it's a beautiful.
I love you though.
It's a beautiful movie.
Despite all your flaws.
It's a beautiful movie.
It's got good jokes.
It's well acted.
The songs are fun for the most part.
But this is a nonsense movie.
No.
It's not great.
You are a fool with low heart.
It's weird.
No. But not in like a strange, kooky way.
Weird as in like, did they really think this through that much?
But it's confusing because the elements.
Okay, so I thought with the elements there'd at least be some consistency in terms of what they are because one of them is a horse made of water.
One of them is a blue lizard that makes fire, and one of them is a horse made of water. One of them is a blue lizard that makes fire.
And one of them is just the wind.
Like, what?
What does that mean?
That's sliver wind.
James, okay, here is the problem.
You have a coal where your heart used to be.
No, I like frozen.
Yeah, I think you have a lump of coal where your heart used to be
because you're the Grinch of all things.
But even the things.
Including the frozen tooth.
Even like the things that are like.
I completely disagree with you.
This is the first time we've had a full blown argument about a film.
I doubt that.
I totally, I can't believe that you didn't see.
They completely fumbled it.
Oh my God.
You are insane.
And I really like the world that they've built.
I think it's awesome.
Shut up, you old man.
Well, I think it's bullshit.
You old Grinch. You're the Grinch of Frozen now as well. They're not even. Well, I don't know that they've built. I think it's awesome. Shut up, you old man. Well, I think it's bullshit. You old Grinch.
You're the Grinch of Frozen now as well.
They're not even – well, I don't know.
It's ridiculous.
It's a ridiculous film.
It's not ridiculous.
I would love to know from suggestible listeners,
please tweet us or Instagram us at suggestiblepod about Frozen 2
and what you thought because I think Jimmy over there is totally wrong.
All right, let's get over this.
Totally wrong. I'm so mad at you now. I All right, let's get over this. Totally wrong.
I'm so mad at you now.
I'm actually mad at you over Frozen 2.
I'm mad at you about this than about the fact you leave your socks
on the floor in the bedroom all the time.
Oh, my goodness, Claire.
What a bloody husband and wife situation.
I know.
Well, I'm mad at you for leaving the toilet seat up.
That's right.
I never do that.
Always.
Listeners, I never do that.
Gross.
Moving right along, can I talk about my thing now?
Oh, please.
All right.
James just started this podcast by burping in my ear holes.
It wasn't a real burp.
It was a fake burp.
Yeah.
Well, why is that any better?
It was gross.
Because you're a gross man.
Just before I get to actually what the show is about, I need,
I have a gripe that burp reminded me.
to actually what the show is about.
I need, I have a gripe that Burt reminded me.
I hate when you burp and then you go and like blow the burp at me.
I hate that so much. That's not true.
If anything, Claire is actually saying a thing that she does to me.
I never do that.
I'm a lady.
I don't burp.
I just fart.
No.
Well, I do.
Everybody does.
Do you know there's a book that I used to read to the kids
when I was teaching called Everybody Poops?
Yeah, everyone knows that book.
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, our son's really obsessed with all that kind of stuff.
I know.
Is he?
Yeah, isn't he?
I don't think so.
All kids are.
They think it's funny.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it is funny.
Yeah.
It's objectively funny.
I thought you meant like you caught him like staring you to the toilet
or something.
Though one of my friends did have a little boy who was scared of pooping
because he didn't want to let go of his poops.
He felt sad about it.
I'm just imagining Rose letting go of Jack at the end of Titanic.
Yeah, she said he didn't like flushing.
He was like really upset.
And I could totally see a three-year-old being like that. That's strange. Didn't want to press the button. Too sad about it. Is that
how you feel about your poops? No, not at all. Get rid of them all. Every time. No,
I don't grip them tightly and then let them go. And watch them slowly sink into the darkness.
No. Just like Jack. Speaking of letting things go, though, my first recommendation is for the movie.
Let it go.
Frozen 2 and Frozen 1.
I just want to say, I'm not going to name any names.
I had a lot of stealth, like, agreeances about Frozen 2.
Did you really?
A lot of people just made, like, just FYI, between me and you, you're right.
They wouldn't CC you in.
I'm not going to name any names.
Oh, what? Nobody said that. They wouldn't CC you in. I'm not going to name any names. Oh, what?
Nobody said that.
It was probably your brother.
Nope.
At his daughter's birthday, he agreed with you before he'd even watched the movie.
Yeah, because he knows I'm right because I have excellent taste.
You're the same person.
Well, my brother and my sister both said they loved it.
That's irrelevant to me.
Their opinions mean nothing.
Oh, my God.
Anyway.
Anyway, so I'm going to recommend – it's a new movie that came to Netflix.
I think it's getting a limited cinema release.
Or maybe it already has.
It's done a lot of festivals.
A limited cinnamon?
Yes.
A limited sprinkle of cinnamon?
Spinnerman.
It's called Marriage Story.
It's directed by Noah Baumbach.
It stars Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver.
People say I say, like, Scarlett.
You do, like, Scarlett. Like, Scarlett, mate. It's Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver People say I say like Scarlett You do like Scarlett Like Scarlett mate
Is that something other countries say or do we just say it in Australia?
No we say it weirdly
I say it weirdly in particular
No but like sculling
Is that a thing that people do in other countries?
Yeah I think it is
You know
Scull your beer mate
Yeah
Neck it down
You might say neck
Remember neck nominate
Remember that thing
But necking is also like kissing on the neck.
No.
Oh, is it something else?
I think so.
Is it?
Yes, it is.
Necking, yeah.
Necking.
Isn't it like giving a hickey?
Necking is when two giraffes fight.
They fight with their necks.
I don't know if you've ever seen it, but it's wild, man.
Do you know the giraffe has the same amount of bones in its neck than the human body?
Did you know that?
Not the human body, the human neck.
No, but does that mean that it can, what?
Hang on, what?
So there's less bones.
No, there's the same amount of bones in a giraffe's neck as in a human's neck.
I'm assuming they're bigger bones.
No, they're exactly the same size.
It's mostly skin.
And like wobbly flesh.
Yeah.
And so they're very bendable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In my brain I just went, well, that makes sense.
They can wrap around each other.
That's why you'd battle with the necks of the giraffe.
Yeah, you'd battle.
Well, what else are you going to hit with?
If you've got a neck that long, of course you're going to fight with it.
I'd fight you with my neck.
Oh, man.
Remember that time you used to be obsessed with that giraffe
kicking the line in that nature documentary?
Oh, he went over and over it.
Where the lion goes up to tackle the giraffe
and the giraffe just kicks the shit out of it.
It's incredible.
Anyway, I've got to talk about this movie.
Okay.
It's Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver.
Basically the story is about it's a breakdown of a marriage
and how it can maybe start or begin amicably with the best intentions
and how it can kind of evolve once there's family involved
and lawyers and moving locations and careers and money
and all of those kinds of things.
And it's that story.
It's that narrative flow.
And it's just incredible. It's probably narrative flow. And it's just incredible.
It's probably one of the best movies that I've seen this year
for the performances alone.
It's also really heartbreaking.
It's one of those ones where it's hard to watch because it feels very real.
I know.
Well, that's why I haven't watched it because I love Adam Driver
and Scarlett Johansson, that famous actress.
But I just, that terrifies me.
That whole idea just terrifies me and so I couldn't watch it.
Yeah.
The other thing is Ray Liotta, who you might know from Goodfellas
and he's done other things, but mostly whenever you see him
in an interview.
Is he a good fella?
Not really because he's a mobster.
It's not even a joke.
I don't even know why.
It's not even a play on words.
You just said.
I'll repeat it.
No.
Is he a good fella?
No. He's a mobster in the movie, in the movie Goodfellas because it's so funny. No. People... Is he a good fella? No.
Not in the... He's a mobster in the movie.
In the movie Goodfellas. I thought that was very funny.
But that... It's also like the name of the movie. Like it's the point of the movie because it's kind of like
I... Let me repeat it again and see
if you find it funny this time. No.
Is he a good fella? I will leave this room.
But...
I'm trying to break him. And the other...
And uh... Scarlett Johansson's lawyer is Laura Dern. It's true. I'm trying to break him.
Scarlett Johansson's lawyer is Laura Dern.
Oh, I love her. Who's in Big Little Lies and Jurassic Park,
two of my favourite things respectively.
Correct.
And she's great and she's, like, really good.
Is she as good as when she puts a glove on her hand
and sticks it in the triceratops poo and diagnoses it.
There is a scene just like that in this movie.
So it's at least equivalent.
So she rifles through Adam Driver's poo.
Pretty much, yeah, like metaphorically, yeah.
You know, like any relationship,
it's normally not just one person who's the problem.
Sometimes it is.
It's often much more complex.
Yeah, and people break up.
It's a reality, you know.
Calm down, Claire. You're never going to break up with me. Yeah, and people break up. It's a reality, you know. Calm down, Claire.
You're never going to break up with me.
Don't even worry about it.
Well, I have something to tell you.
Oh, no, not on a podcast.
I don't even like talking about it.
I love it.
So I was given recently by a relative of mine a book called
Love is Strong as Death.
It's just been released.
It's by one of my favourite musicians, Paul Kelly.
It's excellent and it's a collection of poems.
So it's actually not, the poems aren't written by him.
He's just collected all his favourite poems.
He's just stapled a bunch of stuff together.
No worries, Matt.
I should release a book of poems too.
No, because I think poetry, I know you don't like poetry,
but I think some-
I'm not, what?
How dare you?
You're always banging on at me about how it doesn't make sense
and you don't like it.
That is not true. And I love poetry And you don't like it That is not true
And I love poetry
Anyway
I'm not against poetry
Alright, anyway
What I like about this is that
It kind of gives you a really
Like poetry
Way to shit all over my dreams, mate
You bloody old boot
Sorry, go on
You're talking about poetry
I can't now
Because you called it poetry
Just don't think about that when you're reading your favourite passage.
I know.
You've released a story.
And now you're going to feel bad because I've chosen this poem that he put
in his anthology which is like really reminiscent of years and years
and now I can't read it.
You can read it.
Anyway, one of the poems that I wanted to recommend after watching
years and years is a poem called Home and it begins,
no one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.
You only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well.
Have you heard that poem?
No, I haven't heard that.
It's amazing.
I won't read the whole thing.
It's too long, but I'll just leave you with the end of it.
It's by Warson Shear.
Sure.
I want to go home, but home is the mouth of a shark.
Home is the barrel of a gun.
And no one would leave home unless home chased you to the shore,
unless home tells you to leave what you could not behind,
even if it's human.
No one leaves home until home is a damp voice in your ear saying,
leave, run now, I don't know what I've become.
Ooh, dramatic.
Very uplifting.
I liked it when they were screaming at each other about Frozen too.
I know.
Anyway, but it's just a really spectacular poem,
and I think that really captures the refugee kind of crisis in lots of ways
and trying to get that empathy in.
Ears and Ears has a lot of themes on that.
Okay, this is the one for you, and it's the shortest poem in the whole book.
Are you ready?
Oh, God, I hope it is.
It goes like this and I'll say it in your voice.
I didn't die waking up, I hear that.
That's it.
That's the whole poem.
Yeah, great.
Great poem.
Not a poem.
That you bloody grinch.
It's a sentence.
No, a poem can be one line.
Have you ever not heard of a haiku, you uncouth old dude?
You call it a poetry for God's sake.
Anyway, I love that.
I didn't die waking up.
I hear that.
And that makes me think of you every morning waking up going,
what is that comedian that talks about?
Life is every day or whatever.
Yeah, life is every single day.
I prefer that to whatever that crap was.
Anyway, it's Love is Strong as Death and it's a beautiful book.
People other than the Grinch of Christmas over there.
I can appreciate that.
But listen.
Can you?
Can you appreciate anything?
I don't know.
I struggle.
You can appreciate your pun about poetry.
If people want to appreciate this podcast, they can
because you can give it a five-star
review or whatever review you want, really.
This is from Jay Serback. It says,
adorable and hilarious. I find the banter between
the two hosts quite lovely. Maybe
not this week. It's bloody knives
out this week. You know what I'm talking about? I've already got three
things to check out and I just started listening.
Thanks for the Weekly Planet for tuning me
onto this. The Weekly Planet podcast,
I highly recommend that one.
It's well worth a listen.
It's also much more popular.
By like, oh, my God, by many hundreds of thousands of downloads.
Yeah, but look, just because something's popular doesn't mean it's good.
I mean, weren't we just talking about that?
Yeah, that Frozen 2.
Political piece.
I was going to say Frozen 2, yeah.
Go and check out the weekly planet or the weekly planet of poo.
Oh, that's poor, Claire.
Even by your standards, that's quite poor.
I'm tired.
It's late.
But I still got you.
No.
No, I didn't.
Not really.
All right, well, I'm going to give a recommendation.
I feel embarrassed.
Like if that's, you got me in that sense.
Like I don't feel good about what happened,
but it's not because I feel down on myself.
I feel bad for you.
So the man can't laugh.
He's laughing now.
All right.
Okay, review.
I love Mr. and Mrs. Sunday movies.
Five stars from Drew Llamas. I love Mr and Mrs Sunday movies. Five stars.
It's from Drew Llamas.
I genuinely love this show.
It's a quick, light thing with two people who obviously enjoy their time together
and discussing things they enjoy.
I feel like most married couples would be insufferable to listen to
for 30 minutes straight.
I feel like this bloody married couple is insufferable to listen to.
Just bloody finish.
But Claire and James are just the best.
Aw, thanks, mate.
Thank you, Drew Llamas.
That is so lovely.
If you would like to leave us a review and a rating,
that would make our day.
We're old and sad and tired.
I think it's one of those things where whenever I say that you're like,
you're not old, when you're like 60 you'll be like,
what was I thinking?
Now I'm old.
And then when I'm 90 I'm like, oh, man, I'm dead now.
Now I'm old. Unless your brain isn't a, I'm like, oh man, I'm dead now. Now
I'm old.
Unless your brain isn't a computer, which is your dream.
I can't wait.
One day it will be.
Did you read the thing about, they said, I think, was it in Japan? They're splicing human
and animal DNA together. Why are they doing it? Are they making hybrids like the movie
Cats? Incorrect. So they can grow human organs in animals. They're like, you want a heart?
This pig's got a heart in it.
You can grab it.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I have so many feelings about it.
We can't talk about it.
That'd be a separate podcast.
But we are suggestible parts.
Should you snatch a human heart from a pig's body?
That's what we should...
Should you?
Yes, always.
That's going to be the title of this episode.
Human heart, pig body.
I feel like I met someone like that once.
Someone ham-coloured.
Oh, very good.
I did see a whole lot of ham-coloured bike riders.
I was down the beach the other day.
Yeah, I know.
I've walked past the schools in our area after bloody,
you know, all the dads out there wearing bike helmets.
Bikramate.
Standing around talking about footy or whatever the fuck real people talk about.
Yeah, I know.
You went away on a footy weekend and you didn't go to the football with your wife.
I didn't want to.
I stayed in the hotel and I watched the boys and it was great.
I loved it.
You sounded so happy.
It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
All right, we've got to finish.
If you have a recommendation or a suggestion or a comment to make,
please tweet us at SuggestiblePod.
You can go onto Instagram at SuggestiblePod.
You can go on Facebook.
You can also email us at contactplanetbecasting.com because I answer that
or just email through the website.
Or you can chuck it in the Great Mates group as well,
the Planet Broadcasting Great Mates.
We would love that.
Definitely.
Thank you, as always, to Raw Collings for editing this,
particularly James's, drivel.
Drivel?
How dare you?
I'm being so mean tonight.
I'm sorry.
I'm insightful in many ways.
I mean, you just broke my heart when I was trying to get all deep
and meaningful and recite poetry to you.
Look, you think I'm going to sit here and let that slide?
What kind of person do you think you're married to?
Yeah, I know who I'm married to.
The Grinch.
Of everything.
Of Christmas.
Yes.
Oh, it's the back end of the show.
It's the back end of the show.
What did you think of all them clips?
I didn't hear them.
Were we fun?
Were we hilarious?
Are you talking to me?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, you.
I haven't heard them.
I have no idea what he's put in.
Ah, all right.
And you probably will never
listen that's not true i might listen one day when you're dead to remind me of you that is the
worst thing i've ever heard yeah this is the saddest thing it's just a sad it's great it's
getting in a corner by himself listening to his wife on a podcast make fun of him oh man i can't
wait to be 39 and be alone.
Is that your ideal scenario, that I die when you're 39,
so you're still young enough to go and find some other ladies?
No, I look too old and I'm too stuck in my ways.
You're really obsessed with how old you look at the moment.
I do look very old.
Well, it is 20 bloody 20, James.
It's 20, 29.
It's not 1995 anymore.
You're not wrong.
Yeah, I'm not 10 years old or whatever I was in 1995.
Yeah.
Correct.
Anyways, we'll be back next week, won't we, with a regular show.
We will.
We're also looking for topics to do for shows, aren't we?
Because we thought we'd do some topic-based ones like best British comedies,
best American whatever, crap that they make in Australia.
Best American sausages.
Best American sausages.
We could do recipes.
We could do like specific books or titles.
I think that would be really interesting if people had like things
that we might want to cover.
Would it be, James?
I don't know, Claire.
Would it be interesting?
I'm just engaging.
It's supposed to engage in podcasts.
I'm supposed to build community or whatever the fuck.
I don't know.
You don't know nothing.
I don't know nothing.
Hey, also, Happy New Year, guys.
Happy New Year.
We hope everybody's had a safe one and all that.
Correct.
And that when we do next week,
Australia hasn't all completely burnt into a giant volcano hole.
Oh, my God.
That's the dream, isn't it?
For your country to still be there.
On a hopeful note, today I saw an echidna walking along a footpath
while I was driving.
I saw an echidna the other day as well.
That means of the one billion-ish animals that have been burnt alive
in our country, we know for a fact that at least two have survived
unless it's the same one.
It might be.
And there's one more.
Gary, the echidna.
My wife, where's she gone?
Oh, thank God I'm alone.
He's my spirit animal.
He's 39.
He's out on the prowl looking for those lady echidnas.
Yeah.
Oh, do you want to mention also Tofop are actually doing a fundraiser
for the Red Cross for the Australian bushfires.
Collings will link it below.
They've raised, at the time of recording this, about $63,000 or $65,000.
Yeah, it's so amazing.
There's a lot of great charities you can donate to.
This is one of them that we've both contributed to
and we wholeheartedly endorse.
We do, exactly.
And just on another note, if you are particularly interested
in the wildlife situation, Wildlife Victoria is looking for donations
because a lot of the money has gone to New South Wales animals,
which is awesome, but our Victorian animals have got a little bit over the top.
Interstate animals, get out of here.
So, Collins, if you could put the link below to the Wildlife Victoria.
Yeah, but put it below the Topop one, obviously.
Yeah, we love them.
Those animals.
That's, we'll be back.
That's the show.
And I hope everybody's safe and happy and healthy, genuinely.
Correct, exactly.
I've got to go finish watching that Dracula Netflix show.
I've got to go look out for Gary the Echidna.
Yeah.
Mate, I heard he's single.
Get away from him.
I don't like where this is going at all.
He'd be less prickly than you.
That's a good joke.
Don't sound surprised.
Sorry.
I could come out with that occasionally.
That's a standard joke that Claire makes.
As good as any of the jokes she ever makes.
You know I never make jokes.
I just accidentally get funny by being silly.
Okay.
See you guys.
Bye.
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.
I mean, if you want.
It's up to you.
All right.
Thank you, everybody.
And thank you, Claire.
Aw.
You old boot.
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