Suggestible - Best of Suggestible 2021
Episode Date: January 20, 2022Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. Hosted by James Clement @mrsundaymovies and Claire Tonti @clairetonti. Thank you so much for listening.Episode guide and links to all Suggestibles - av...ailable here!Send your recommendations to suggestiblepod@gmail.com, we’d love to hear them.You can also follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook @suggestiblepod and join our ‘Planet Broadcasting Great Mates OFFICIAL’ Facebook Group. So many things. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the best of suggestible 2021.
2021.
We hope you're having a good 2022.
I just want everybody to know that we already recorded an intro and outro.
Dad, why are you showing behind the curtain?
I'm telling everybody that you had an amazing framing device,
that you'd prepared something because Nick Mason does a similar thing
for the Weekly Planet.
But it was so good and so immersive we didn't want people to think
that the fabric of space and time had been torn
and they'd stumbled into a different reality.
So, look, for the sake of that, for the sake of clear head space,
we're going to omit that from this year.
But just know, Claire, you're going to have a full year to come
up with another framing device for next year's.
I'm going to forget again.
I'm going to forget every year because I'm slowly ageing
and operating at 10%.
Well, just put it, write it in your diary or get a tattoo
like the Memento movie, Guy Pearce.
Once upon a time in a land far, far away,
there were two old people sitting in a room talking to each other.
No, this isn't anything.
I'm going to give you a year, all right?
I'm going to give you a year.
Pass me my spectacles, she said.
No, not good.
And they turned on the microphone.
And they turned on the microphone.
And slowly weeped for a whole year.
What is this?
What are you doing?
Anyway, thank you to Roar Collings. All I'm saying is I'm feeling are you doing? Anyway, thank you to Raw Collings.
All I'm saying is I'm feeling old.
It's true.
Thank you to Raw Collings for the edit.
We'll be back at the end.
We will.
Merry Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Bing bong.
Why are you looking at me like that?
She's having a good time.
Should we tell all these listeners what's happened today?
Sure.
James has got a haircut.
Claire hates it.
Can't even hide the absolute disdain.
That's why I started to do my big bugs and then you looked at me
and started laughing because now all I can see is the haircut
over the microphone.
It's very swooshy, isn't it?
No, it's not even swooshy.
Okay, let's not talk about it.
You'll get very offended.
Okay. You look like very offended. Okay.
You look like my great auntie Mildred.
Thank you.
It is a big beehive, too.
Yeah, there's a lot of weight at the back of it.
Like there's quite a lot of, yeah.
That's my head.
Okay.
That's just like the back of my bulbous head.
All right.
Looks good.
I don't believe you.
Hello, bing bongs.
Hello.
It is Claire here.
James is here also.
We are married and we recommend you things to watch, read and listen to.
That's right.
That's right, we do.
You're going to have to look at this for months, Claire.
You don't have a choice.
I'm sorry, guys.
This is the world.
Did you think you were going to crawl your laughter by holding your nose?
Because that did the opposite.
Okay.
I've got it together.
Colleagues, you can edit some of these laughs.
Okay.
Okay.
I can hold it.
Do you want me to wear a hat?
Do you have a fedora?
Or perhaps a bonnet to fit over your big.
This is always as bad as that time when you got your hair dyed
and it was all black and shiny.
That was a trick.
And it had like a bob.
You had like a full-on bob.
That was a trick she tricked me.
And you picked me up in your old car at the front of my mum and dad's house.
And I'm like, I know.
And you looked at me and you were like, huh?
And I was like, oh, no.
No, I wasn't.
I was like, oh, no.
And actually because I didn't have time, I went and I shaved my head.
All right.
Let's get started.
Let's get started.
All right.
We do.
We don't just laugh at each other's haircuts.
Oh, we do.
We do.
Just a little.
Anyway, we recommend your stuff.
And you can go first this week,
Buffonte Buffy.
Thank you.
I just want to quickly mention that.
Yes.
Are you going to be okay?
Are you going to be okay?
It's just that because I'm at the top of the microphone,
all I can see is your hair moving up and down because it's so buffonty.
They put a lot of product in it to, like, make it extra buffonty on top.
There's a little bit of volume in it, Claire.
I'm not going to lie.
Anywho.
Should I slick it down?
I don't know.
I don't know what you could do with it.
I don't know.
Maybe you could get, I don't know, some hair oil.
Some hair oil?
Maybe you could get some old-fashioned mousse from the chemist.
Anyway, can I continue, please?
Yes, you are.
I'm a professional podcaster.
Don't look directly at me.
All right, I'll look away from you to quell my laughter.
Everything is final and normal.
You're a normal man with a normal haircut and everything is fine.
What about if I do this?
He said I'm a jealousness. This is a very odd haircut. I'm just like. with the normal haircut and everything is. What about if I do this? He's fancy.
He said I'm a jealousness and he's little.
This is a very odd haircut.
I'm just like.
Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.
Certainly is.
Certainly that time of week again.
Here we are.
Here we meet again.
That's right.
In a small room at the back of a suburban home.
That's right.
We don't talk during the week.
We save it all up.
We ignore ourselves, each other and ourselves,
and we get our kids to pass messages to each other.
We do.
In a very passive aggressive way.
Anyway, do you know what we're doing this week on Suggestable,
the show where we release things?
No, I don't.
Tell me.
Well, I've got a bunch of things.
I want to talk about Ted Lasso.
I want to talk about a very small little documentary,
and I want to talk about a very special piece of writing here that I've got from one young Claire Tonti which you unearthed from 1996.
And I'm like, are you sure you want me to read this?
And you're like, definitely.
And I'm like, all right.
No, I'm not sure anymore.
If you're not sure, let's save it. Let's sit on it for a week. No, I'm not sure anymore. If you're not sure, let's save it.
Let's sit on it for a week.
No, it's here now.
No, it's here.
Well, let's just get to the end of the show.
What are you talking about?
And I'll see if I can do it because I unhursed it from a box
when I was cleaning out in the cupboard,
and I haven't stopped thinking about it since because it's making me laugh
so much.
Yeah, it's like weirdly optimistic and sad.
It's just got it all.
I'm like 11, like 10.
I'm writing this and I'm 10.
It's so serious.
It's so serious.
It's such a.
It's totally.
It sounds like a suicide note.
No.
All right, okay.
Do you want me to give people a taste?
Oh, God.
This is a piece of writing that Claire wrote in 1996.
I don't think I can do it.
Life is a lot.
Life is like, sorry.
Okay, hold on.
Context.
I was like 11.
Yeah.
10?
Oh, this is better than anything I've ever written.
So, yeah, no shade.
The handwriting's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
It's in like one of those pens with different colours.
I hate how you've changed the pen colour every line.
Life is like a lot of closed doors and you have to pick the one you want
and work for the key.
One of the doors I would like to open is the door with a published book
behind it.
I would like to be a writer and a poet.
Writing a story to a human would be like singing a song for a bird. It's true. Is it?
Hey bird, hey bird, stay still. I'm going to sing a song at you. Explaining how you feel,
creating other people's emotions and keeping people listening or looking with admiration
or excitement. It's true.
That's not inaccurate.
Another door I'd like to open is education.
Being a teacher would be pretty hard but never really boring.
Disagree.
It is boring sometimes, but it is hard.
Helping others to take on life with confidence must be one of the greatest feelings in the world.
That's not inaccurate, actually.
You know when you see a kid get a thing or they get through school
and you're like, I slightly contributed to that kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, okay, this kid, okay, I really love this kid.
I can't really remember being this kid but what I.
Such a nerd.
I just really understand why I didn't have any friends in front
you had friends i was such an old soul i'm older and wiser in this piece of writing that i am
you're way sillier now and i think i might have broken you and your brain or something like what
kind of kid sits down anyway i bet they'll like talk about the things that you want to be when you're older.
Yeah, I know.
I love old libraries and books.
So maybe when I'm older, a lot older, I may become a librarian.
I don't know whether I want to get married or not.
See how that pans out.
I suppose it depends who I meet and when I meet them.
I love to act, sing and dance.
This bit is grim.
This bit makes me go, oh, I love to act, sing and dance,
but I don't think I'll ever get the chance to perform.
I like to dream that one day I might be on stage acting as the star.
And to be fair, you have done that.
You have done like musical theatre and theatre in general with like,
you know, lead roles.
Even though in reality.
Amateur theatre.
It doesn't matter.
Even though in reality I know that that is not where my talents lie.
Fuck, that is so like self-aware.
And also like debilitating. I think it would be cool to, some so, like, self-aware. And also, like, debilitating.
I know.
I think it would be cool to try.
Some kids are like, I'm going to play in the AFL.
That's Australian football.
I'm going to be a sports star.
I want to.
You know how many, it's weird because as a kid it's like there's so many people
like, I'm going to be a rock star.
I'm going to be, I'm going to play, I'm going to play up in the NBA.
I don't know a single person who has achieved any of their goals.
That's a fact.
And I think it's like maybe a byproduct of our time that we grew up in
or whatever, I don't know.
That we were told we could be anything.
Yeah, it's just not true.
And I don't mean to like step on anybody's dreams.
Well, this is what I have to say to this kid writing this.
She's very self-aware.
I think so.
And, look, you've done a lot of these things.
I remember you singing a song for a bird.
No, James.
No.
Get it right.
Writing a story to a human would be like singing a song for a bird.
This should be in the loop.
That's not actually true.
I do know people who have achieved things that they wanted to achieve.
I just think as a kid if you're like, I want to play in the NBA,
it's like, yeah, if you're fucking seven feet tall,
maybe you can play in the NBA.
Imagine if you're getting this on your desk at the gym
and you're just reading kids being like, I want to be a football player.
I'd like to be a transformer one day.
I think I might like to be a ballerina.
But you actually don't have the ability.
No, but then they're reading this.
Oh, right, yeah.
It's like the manifesto of a 55-year-old cat lady.
Yeah, it seems like, yeah, it's more like regret for things that you won't do.
It's weird too.
My talents lie.
I like libraries and old books.
Who doesn't like libraries?
There's something really cool about that.
Even though in reality I know that, that is not where my talents lie.
Jesus.
I think it would be cool to travel overseas.
The countries I would like to visit are Ireland, France, and America.
You've done that and beyond.
Correct.
Yeah.
Last bit.
My hopes and dreams will change in time as I learn to understand more
about my life.
So true.
Man, this is great.
If I wrote this, I would never want someone to read this out.
I'm not sure if I'm going to laugh.
But thank you for sharing that.
I thoroughly enjoyed that.
When I read that, it took me like 15 minutes to read it
because I was just like dying.
It's like such a rollercoaster of emotion.
It's very well written.
Like honestly, if I got this as a teacher, I'd be like, fuck,
this is like pretty good and grim.
I think this is why the teachers really always really liked me a lot,
but none of the kids did.
Nah, I bet the teachers didn't like it that much.
Yeah, I bet they didn't either.
Yeah.
Can I tell you about my recommendation now?
I'm interested.
I'm very interested to hear about this actually.
Okay, so listeners might be familiar with the author Leanne Moriarty.
Yes.
Now she is Australian and super famous for, you know,
every book she's ever written basically going a bit bonkers and bananas
and everyone adores her writing.
She is the author of things like Big Little Lies and Nine Perfect Strangers,
both of which have been turned by Reese Witherspoon into like big blockbuster TV shows
that everyone bloody loves.
With Nicole Kidman.
With Nicole Kidman.
Exactly right.
So I knew when a new Moriarty book was coming out that it would be
right up my alley and I couldn't wait to get my hot little myths on it.
You knew it was big business.
I did.
I did.
And this particular book, the first few chapters I was like,
do I like this? I'm not sure. I hope you hit her up in an email first few chapters I was like, do I like this?
I'm not sure.
I hope you hit her up in an email.
Leah Moriarty, I'm a few chapters into your book and quite frankly,
it's very unimpressive.
No, but it does that thing where as you get into it,
it suddenly grabs you by the horns and now all I want to do is sit
by myself and read it, take it everywhere with me because I'm
like into that point in the book.
All I want to do is just sit by myself.
That's it.
That's your goal in life. Just quickly, we might have an afternoon to ourselves tomorrow without the book. All I want to do is just sit by myself. That's it. That's your goal in life.
Just quickly, we might have an afternoon to ourselves tomorrow without the kids.
So one of your options was what if we just drive somewhere and just sleep in the car?
I'm like, that sounds pretty good actually.
We'll sleep and put the seats back.
I was not even joking.
Put the seats back, you know what I mean, and then fall asleep in the car.
No, it was literally –
It was fall asleep in the car.
It's not a metaphor.
No, it wasn't like go put your spidey suit on and let's get easy.
Which, by the way, I just want to clarify, it's just not my thing at all.
Like dressing up in a superhero outfit and just like any of that.
It's just I think it would ruin both things for me if I'm honest.
But anyway, sorry, go on.
That was like when, and it was a wonderful zine,
there was that sponsor reached out to us that you declined
for this very reason who did Star Wars Cabaret
and they put on like big sexy shows with like the costume designers
from the movie.
So amazing costume designers but there would be like dancers dressed
as like Boba Fett or dancers dressed as like Chewbacca.
So they'd be like sexy Chewbaccas or whatever, sexy droids,
and you were just like, no, I'm not into it.
No, I can't look at it.
And it was weird.
You have this like visceral reaction.
I feel like it's because you feel like if you saw it,
those two worlds colliding, it just would do something to your brain.
Star Wars is like all those things that are very non-sexual to me.
And I know there is like a massive fan element that like.
What about Princess Leia in her golden bikini?
I don't know.
It's just not.
I've never seen it that way.
I don't see any of it that way.
It's a weird, dirty universe.
Not in a good way.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Oh, you mean as in Sandy and Uncovered?
Like a grimy, everything's different.
It's got a grimy spaceship and like a and like a jumpsuit that's covered in oil.
And I'm just like, I don't like this place.
It sucks.
It's not for you.
Anyway, sorry, go on.
No, exactly.
There's a big slug sitting there and I'm like,
that's pretty distracting.
Like she's in the gold bikini but there's a giant slug
and he's just like.
Because that's all I'd be looking at.
I'd be like, fuck, that guy's going to swap me with his tail.
He's horrendous.
Is it because it seems stressful?
It's a very stressful universe.
It would be quite stressful to get into some business.
No, no, just in general it's stressful and confusing
and it's like the units of measurement are strange.
Why is that relevant?
Because it's like there's this thing about – this is way off topic.
There's this thing of like – there's this passing line in the first Star Wars
where Han Solo says something like my ship did the Kessel Run
in less than nine parsecs.
And a parsec in like in our world is like a measurement of like distance.
But in the Star Wars universe, I'm like,
so it did 9 parsecs in less than
9 measurements of distance?
What do you mean? What does that
mean? And it's just, I don't like it.
And if you look at a panel of a ship,
there's no display screens.
It's just different coloured
buttons. And I'm like, what does any of this do?
None of this is labelled. There's no
screen. it's just
it's very stressful so what you're saying is all of that stuff while not sexual at all also would
get you out of the mood because you're too worried about measurements and buttons like when they go
to their ship and like the door opens up their ship I'm like you didn't even press anything
like how did it open is it He doesn't have a key.
Did he put his hand in his pockets and like has he got like some kind
of device on him that it registers when he's close?
Can you just walk up to any ship?
And when they go to like the cockpit, they don't put a key in.
They just hit one of the buttons and it just like fires up
and it's confusing.
So what you're saying is Princess Le leia and i'm not in this universe
because princess leia is there in a sexy bikini and she's like oh james let's go for it and you're
like no i'm busy it's all very confusing work out the ship i can't can't work out the ship and she's
like yeah but come on it's quiet you're covered in like slug grease. I'm not interested. This is not my thing. All right.
Good to know.
I don't know how we got there.
So the book.
Stupid universe.
So go on.
So stupid.
Okay.
I just find that so funny that that's how your brain works.
Yeah.
Stressful.
Actually, you know what's quite interesting about this?
I was listening to a podcast the other day that was talking about the barriers to sex for women, basically. Okay, sure. And one of them is exactly that,
the mental load. Like a comfort, like. No, it's, it's because that's why hotel rooms are better
because for women, and this is such a big generalization or for the partner who does
the bulk of the domestic stuff, there is nothing less sexy than thinking about your dishes and the floor is dirty
and you've got to go play that thing and you've got
to clean the bathroom and like all of that stuff,
which is why like a clean, calm room and someone doing the dishes
is actually like foreplay for a lot of women.
So if you like went into the bedroom and like you whipped back the sheets
and there was just a pile of dirty dishes in there,
that for you would not be like appealing.
I thought you were genuinely going to say and the sheets had been changed
and I would just fall over.
It's just up there.
It's like plates and one of them is like chipped so that like there is a chip
in the bed somewhere even if you took the plates out.
There'd be just like a bit of ceramic in there that you roll onto.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Liam Moriarty.
I don't know how we got onto that.
But that's a heads up, a Christmas present for anyone out there.
Bloody do some chores and you never know what might happen.
Yeah.
All right.
So anyway, you can go first this week.
Oh, my God, I would love to go first because what I've looked at this week
is I went and saw Raya and the Last Dragon.
I went to a Disney premiere.
Ooh, with our son.
I did.
I took him along and the whole way he was like, why aren't we there yet?
And I'm like, because we're driving there.
And then we got there, we had to line up.
And he's like, why are we lining up?
And I'm like, because we've got to go inside.
And then when we got inside, you know, they give you a popcorn
and a free drink at these premieres sometimes.
Oh, my goodness.
And then he's like, why are we standing out the front?
And I'm like, this is pro-sit.
We can't just walk in.
There's like several steps.
And everybody's like, ah.
But anyway, he really liked it.
Basically, it was a world where, I'm going to explain this badly,
but there was a world where there was dragons, right,
and the dragons had to, they did this thing where they got rid of all the dark.
You're doing that squished up old man face that you do.
And I've got my hands in the air because I'm trying to picture it in my mind.
So there was too many dragons.
There was a lot of dragons.
There were good dragons protecting the kingdom of where they lived, right?
But then there was like these dark, globby forces kind of take things over.
So the dragons managed to drive them back.
But in doing so, the dragons themselves were eliminated.
So there was only one dragon left.
And that dragon used like this dragon gemstone.
But then the dragon, then it's like 500 years later,
but the kingdom's been divided, right?
This feels very complicated.
Yeah, it is a bit complicated.
So, yeah, so the kingdom is divided now 500 years ago
and they're like, and then the crystal gets shattered.
They're like, oh, no, the crystal gets shattered.
And then all the darkness comes out of the earth and it's like,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And this girl called Raya has to like unite the pieces of
the crystal because the googly monsters, when they touch people, they turn them to stone.
And so everybody's been turned to stone and she has to go through the kingdoms and like
meet people on the way and find the last dragon and also bring the crystal back together.
And every time the dragon touches the crystal, it gives it a brand new dragon power.
And it's about like friendships and trust and unity and magic.
And mostly about like, it's mostly mostly about like it's mostly about trusting people
and basically like you're different than me but, hey,
let's work together, let's put aside our differences for a common good.
It's a pretty solid adult story.
And it seems like it's good for like 37-year-old men too.
Yeah.
There's a dragon and there's a crystal and the crystal is bright
and there's kingdoms and the kingdoms are beautiful.
I just had this flash of memory.
When we first started dating and you would tell me things about movies
and I would just sit there in awe just like nodding along.
In awe where you're like, he knows so much about movies.
And now I'm like.
You're probably like, he's so knowledgeable.
What else does he know?
Nothing.
Literally nothing.
No plenty.
All right, so my first kind of one that is terrible is a show called Colony on Netflix. Oh yeah. What's that? Okay. So I started watching it because
I thought it'd be right up your alley and I just felt like watching a post-apocalyptic kind of movie
with aliens sort of vibe. I feel like this is a thing I looked at and then went, nah.
Yeah, so it's only three seasons.
They cancelled it after three seasons.
So I've only got through like the first half of the first season.
Oh, my God, that guy from Lost or whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a TV series and it's basically set after an alien invasion
of the Red Hats, whoever they are.
But it's about insulin?
Oh, no, that's episode.
Sorry.
Anyway, go on.
James is going to tell me about the show that he doesn't watch.
Anyway, so basically from what I can tell, it's about a family of four.
It's on mute so I can't hear what's happening,
but they seem very distressed about something.
No, sorry, go on.
Can I goddamn explain my own show?
You made the show?
Yeah.
You should have made a better show.
Look, it's not very good.
However, I kind of was watching it and got kind of into it.
What is interesting, and this is a tiny spoiler,
the husband in this is like an ex sort of CIA kind of guy.
You always are.
Yeah.
I'm not in that life anymore.
Yeah, exactly.
And that wife's like, you exactly. And they basically, yeah.
And that wife's like, you told me you'd given it up.
He's like, what am I supposed to do for my family?
This is what I do best.
Yeah, because basically they threaten him and they say,
if you don't do this then we will not, like,
help you to find your son and your family will be in danger
or something.
What am I supposed to do?
You'll get all taken to the factory.
So he has to go and help them actually fight.
There's a group of people who are like the resistance.
I'm the best at what I do.
Yeah, and this ex-CIA guy is charged with taking down the resistance group.
Wow.
Twist, his wife, is part of the resistance.
Oh, my God.
Does he know?
No, not initially.
I don't know if they find out.
I think she does. How could you, does he know? No, not initially. I don't know if they find out. I think she does.
How could you compromise us like this?
You should know it better than anybody
that I always stand up for the right
this goes against everything. Don't you know
my job is dangerous. I'm
the CIA.
I feel like you've watched a lot of shows
like this, James. I have, yeah. Anyway. I'm going to be
honest with you. I hate everything about this
thing that you said.
Sounds boring and generic.
Look, it's not.
And just like a show that either it's on for like a season
or it goes for ten years and you're like, shit,
that went for ten years?
But three years apparently this one.
I did get into it for a little bit.
But what lost me on it actually was how boring it was.
In the end. No, that was the other way.
In the end.
No, I don't know.
Maybe I'll watch a little bit more of it and I'll see.
But it does just feel like a bad version of a lot of these kind
of films that we've seen.
Like a bad version of Greenland or something.
I liked Greenland.
Yeah, I know, but like a bad version.
Anyway, so that's my anti-recommendation.
Wow, we're doing anti-recommendations now.
That's great.
No, we're not.
Because my list is crazy long for that.
No, we're not doing – no, we're positive on this show.
And look, I do kind of enjoy it.
And you enjoy it.
Yeah, exactly.
Because the female characters in it, there are some really great ones
and the wife in it particularly is quite badass and great.
Great.
I really enjoyed that.
It's terrific.
There is a ridiculous scene though where she gets –
I think this is what turned me off.
She joins
the resistance and then
she ends up going on like a mission where someone
gets shot and it's the first time she's ever seen someone
killed. So she sees this guy get
shot on the road and she's like
super traumatised by it. I know what happens. There's that
high pitched noise and
like all the sound drops and there's a
muffled voice person going
whatever. There's a person bleeding out and then the sound goes and it comes back and then all the sound drops and there's a muffled voice person going, whatever. There's a person bleeding out and then the sound goes and it comes back
and then all the and it starts up again.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, correct.
That was very close.
Thanks.
Accurate.
It's almost like you've watched a lot of these, James.
Look, I've seen every episode, all right?
It's my favourite show of 2004, which sounds like when it was made.
Look, it's not that bad.
I'm enjoying it.
Anyway, but this is what got me because then she sees that.
She gets home.
Her husband doesn't know that she's like in the resistance
and seen someone killed basically.
And instead like but she gets all kind of weird and she sees him
and as soon as she sees him, she immediately decides,
I know what I want to do after I've just seen someone.
Sex.
I knew it.
Yeah, and the sex scene goes for like two minutes.
Nice.
And it's just, it's so ridiculous.
That is way, that's way too long.
Who has sex for two minutes?
It's ridiculous.
No, but there's no, it's just like this weird scene where like she clearly,
like what woman in their right mind has been married to someone for 20 years,
sees someone murdered and then immediately goes,
I know what I want to do when I get home.
She just wants to take her mind off everything.
Oh, God.
Anyway, I don't know.
It just, but I guess.
And then the end is like, what came over you?
Which is like, I don't know, I just wanted to take my mind off something.
He's like, it sounds to me like you're keeping secrets.
That's exactly the line he said.
He's like, oh, I'm not complaining.
But that seems like, that is genuinely what he said.
Wow, this show sounds amazing and that's why I've seen every episode
of The Prison Wall.
The Colony.
The Colony.
Which is, yeah, anyway.
I told you this is my job.
I told you that.
I'm sure he says that line.
You made a promise you'd never go back to that life.
Yeah, but things are different now.
Ever since the war came down, our son's on the other side of the wall.
Let's have sex.
Two minutes, though.
All right.
Yeah, because that was also what happens.
He sees some terrible thing and then comes home and immediately has sex
with their teen.
Nice.
Imagine if they both saw terrible things at the same time.
Jesus.
They put holes in each other's heads just clashing into each other.
Imagine.
All right.
Can I quickly do my good recommendation that I love?
They just run into each other and explode.
Their atoms merge and split.
The whole town is eviscerated.
Anyway, sorry.
Now, I would watch that TV show.
Me too.
I totally would.
Oh, and that kind of segues really well into my recommendation.
This one is called Vigil.
Now, it is available in Australia on Binge, but it is a BBC show,
so I'm sure you can get it in lots and lots of places.
There's six episodes.
They're currently dropping one a week here, which is driving me bonkers
because I just want to binge it.
Do you want me to just steal it off the internet?
No, don't tell people we do that.
No, I said, do you want me to?
And you say no.
I say, definitely not, James.
And then I wink and I go, I will.
I'll steal it.
I will.
No, you wouldn't do that.
You're not a pirate of the internet waves.
It's true.
But anyway, sorry.
Go on.
Okay, so Suran Jones.
I think that's how you say her name.
Suran Jones.
It stars Suran Jones.
She plays DCI Amy Silver, a detective given the task
in investigating the death of a naval officer on board,
and stay with me with this, a British submarine carrying nuclear weapons.
Okay, so on the outset I heard the premise and I thought,
I definitely don't want to watch this because I'm not
that into submarine stuff.
I love underwater things, but submarines I find boring
because they look the same inside, right?
Do you enjoy the mid-'90s Kelsey Grammar-led comedy Down Periscope?
Always.
I love Kelsey Grammar.
I love Kramer.
Not Kramer.
You love Kramer?
You love the guy who plays Kramer, that famously racist man?
No, I don't love him.
I love Frasier.
Frasier. I love Frasier.
To Micah Richards' credit,
he's very good as Kramer.
I mean, he's also an excellent racist.
Maybe he's changed. Anyway, so go on.
He's got such strange
vertical hair. Yes,
back to Vigil. So it's set
on a submarine and I started watching it
because I got recommended to me
by another podcast and also it's the makers of The Line of Duty.
So come on.
It's going to be good.
So it becomes clear very quickly that DCI Amy has experienced trauma
herself and is still dealing with her past while stuck deep underwater
with a very hostile crew and a captain who doesn't want her
to unearth the secrets of the submarine.
I'm sorry.
So did she come on board after the murder or she's there for the murder?
No, no, after the murder.
So someone is murdered.
Now, they are carrying nuclear weapons on this submarine
and so they have to remain completely hidden.
So the submarine is kind of circling the ocean
and it's whole idea is that it doesn't exist.
So because it's carrying like the nuclear weapons for the UK basically.
She gets like somebody to come to her house and go,
Mum, we have a special assignment.
She goes, can't you see that it's my day off or whatever?
And they're like, you don't understand.
This is the most secret thing.
Have you seen this?
And she's like, why don't you just tell me?
And she's like, you better come down to the station or whatever.
When she gets down there, there's a guy and he's like, listen,
here's the situation.
Obviously this is very classified information,
but we have a secret submarine that's got nuclear coats on it.
We need you to go down to the submarine, find out what you can.
You've only got 24 hours or something.
Is that right?
He nailed it.
I could write television.
I was just really enjoying that bit.
I was going to interrupt and I thought I'm just going to see,
to make this a natural conclusion.
I could do the whole show.
You probably could actually now you know the premise.
I'll just clarify your question after you did that hilarious bit.
Was there a question in there?
Yeah.
Okay.
So one of the stars of Line of Duty is actually the guy that gets murdered
within the first like five minutes.
Like the main guy?
So you think that he's going to be like starring in the show
and I was like, ooh, excellent, I love this dude,
and then he gets murdered. Yeah. And initially it's like he's going to be like starring in the show and I was like, ooh, excellent, I love this dude, and then he gets murdered.
Yeah.
And initially it's like he just is found dead in his cabin
and so then it's suspicious and they can't.
Yeah, bad.
Yeah, exactly.
And so they send the detective down and they can only send her down
because there's not a lot of room in the submarine.
It's very tight quarters and obviously there's not many beds
and they only want her to be there for three days so she can sign off to figure
out what happened and then head back up to land or whatever.
But then it quickly becomes apparent that there is a lot more
to this submarine and all of the kind of hostile stuff
that's happening on there.
And her partner in crime and also romantic partner,
Kirsten Longacre, who is played by Rose Leslie, who people will recognise
from Game of Thrones.
You know nothing, John.
She's real life also married to Kit Harington.
Yeah, she is.
I know.
Gosh, she's great.
Well, she plays, so they're actually romantically involved as well
with DCI Amy, but they're also like partners investigating.
And so she's doing all the investigating on land
and uncovers a series
of cover-ups by the Navy and MI5, which become really difficult to manage
and she starts getting threatened.
And I won't go into too much detail because I don't want to do spoilers,
but there's espionage and intrigue and mysterious deaths
and it's just really gripping.
And if you want something that is like super far from being stuck
in your goddamn house with your goddamn kids,
with your goddamn husband.
Stuck underwater.
Yeah, I know, but it's also on land as well.
Okay.
And it's just a really great story and it gets far-fetched
and ridiculous in points.
Do you reckon they're going to do more than one season?
It's kind of your run out of like are they going to go
to a different enclosed space for the next murder?
I feel like Saran Jones is so excellent as the DCI in this that I feel
like I would watch her in anything, like investigate anything.
And they've got a really good dynamic, the two of them together,
so I would love it if they made another series.
It sounds good, honestly.
You could just change the setting like completely.
Yeah, totally.
Set it in space, whatever. Yeah, exactly. You've got change the setting like completely. Yeah, totally. Set it in space, whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
You've got to go to a secret space station.
You've got three days.
I can't believe I said 24 hours.
I nearly didn't say 24 hours because that's too short for a show.
Yes.
I got caught up.
You did.
Well, it actually turns out that this is a little spoiler.
She ends up having to stay longer than three days and she gets stuck down there and she suffers from claustrophobia
because of an incident that happened in her past.
Yeah.
And she's stuck in a submarine where a murder happened.
That's why you're the best person for the job.
I swore I'd never do another submarine murder investigation.
So funny.
It sounds good, honestly.
It sounds good.
It's really good and I think good, honestly. It sounds good.
It's really good and I think you would like it because you love like stuck in space dramas, right?
And the submarine is kind of the same thing.
It's not gravitation but it's very close quarters with the same people
that are stuck there for a set period of time and they can't leave
and because there's kind of the military involved
and there's power structures and obviously also it's quite dangerous.
The ship is often nearly sinking all the time for some reason.
So there's always these kind of this undercurrent of like the captain
of the ship being like, no, don't come here and investigate the murder.
We're about to explode.
And she's like, you need to give me time.
I have to interview my suspects.
And he's like, your suspects are saving the ship.
And they're like, get her out of here.
Didn't you hear me?
Combine it to her quarters.
The submarines are about to explode.
Get out of here.
Yeah.
Wow, incredible.
Yeah, it's great.
It's ridiculous.
That's great.
Anyway, so that's it.
Sounds great.
Everybody enjoy Murder Submarine on BBC iPlayer or whatever it's on.
Cool.
All right, your turn.
Shall we go to the next thing?
Yes.
I've got one that I do that Mason brought up and I was like,
oh, I was saving this for this.
So I kind of didn't say much.
I was like, I agree, I did enjoy that, but I'll talk about that on Suggestible.
It's called The Kid Detective.
It's directed by Evan Morgan.
It stars Adam Brody.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Is it about a baby goat that is a detective?
Yeah.
Dressed in like a little Sherlock Holmes hat with a little monocle About a baby goat that is a detective. Yeah, yeah.
Dressed in like a little Sherlock Holmes hat with a little monocle and he goes investigating little goatee crimes.
Do you mean monocle or do you mean microscope?
I've got it wrong too.
Microscope.
What's it called?
Isn't it a monocle?
Oh, magnifying glass.
Magnifying glass.
Oh, yes.
I thought Sherlock Holmes had a monocle.
No, he's got a magnifying glass.
Oh, is it tied to his face with a chain?
It's not tied to your face.
It's tied to your coat so if it falls off, it doesn't hit the ground.
Oh, is that what you do with your magnifying glass?
Do you think it's tied to your face?
Do you think it's like pinned into your head?
I'd never thought about it, but yes, I think so.
I think you might know.
I thought it was tied to like your ear.
Okay, that would make sense, I guess.
Like around your ear?
When you think about it, though, they're pretty dumb.
Like you can see why they went out of fashion.
Yeah, if you really dig it.
They're so stupid.
Do you have to hold it up to your eye?
No, because you kind of squint and you can like, which is, I know,
it's ridiculous.
What, you squint and hold it in place and have to keep your face,
I'm like doing the face at home.
Yeah, exactly.
I wish you could see it.
But it's mostly just like if you just quickly need to read something
or whatever, I'd imagine.
But it reminds me of like the penny farthing.
It's just like fucking get rid of this.
Whenever I see someone on a penny farthing,
I just want to kick the fucking front wheel out of it.
Just like I just hate them.
And anyone on a penny farthing wants to be like,
look, it's me, I'm on a penny farthing.
I'm like, not if I kick the fucking wheel out of your way.
Anyway, I hate it. I hate the penny farthing. I'm like, not if I kick the fucking wheel out your wife's bed. Anyway, I hate it.
I hate the penny farthing.
What has it done to you?
It's dead for a reason.
Would you rather ride a penny farthing or stick a duck in your bum?
Don't take the duck in the bum if you don't mind.
What about wear a monocle or have a bionicle?
Like a Lego bionicle? Like a bionic leg. I'd wear a monocle or have a bionicle. Like a Lego bionicle?
Like a leg, a bionic leg.
I'd wear a monocle.
Leg technology isn't there yet, if I'm honest.
Okay, I've thought about this.
Okay, I have a bone to pick with you.
All right, here we go.
I have a bone.
This is the perfect place and form.
I enjoy talking about the seasons changing.
I get really into it.
You do a lot.
I feel like autumn is like the season where like, and this is very gendered,
women especially go crazy for autumn.
Do they?
We bloody love it.
We love the shit out of it.
We love the colours.
We love the light.
We love the like hot drinks and the like just all the delicious like spiced pumpkin things and just cinnamony buns at Easter.
We just everything.
We love it.
We love it.
The crisp cool nights with like you can have like a trans-seasonal
lovely cardi.
Oh, the joy.
Is that a cardigan?
A light scarf.
A cardigan you can remove the sleeves off in case it gets hot
because it's autumn?
No, it's just like a lighter cardigan because it's like crisp and cool
and the air smells of like delightful wood smoke.
It was like 31 on Saturday.
I was like, what is going on?
Yeah, I know.
31 degrees Celsius.
Climate change?
Yeah, that's probably it.
Anyway, and my bone is that I feel like you don't appreciate it
when I talk about the seasons.
Listen to me, Claire.
The seasons can do whatever they want.
We have an understanding where the seasons doesn't talk about me
and I don't talk about them, all right?
The seasons isn't a fan of the work that I do.
And, look, to be fair, I'm probably more a fan of the seasons.
But it's, you know, we have a mutual understanding.
I think the seasons loves you.
I think you just ignore them for a long time.
And if you had your way, you would live in a climate-controlled room.
Yes, I would.
I tell you this, though, because I didn't realize we have central heating now,
which I've never had, and, oh, my God, it's an absolute game-changer.
And I just realized I was just cold for like 35 years.
Because my family had like growing up, they had like one heater in like the room
where the TV is, and then every other room in the house is just freezing.
And that was just how I lived my life.
So, yeah, I would live in a climate control.
I love it.
It comes up through the floor.
It takes like a minute to warm up and you're like, ooh.
I can walk around in my bloody jocks, mate, and I'm loving it.
It's so bad for the environment.
It's so bad, yeah.
But you only have to put it on for a little bit and then you turn it off
and it keeps the heat.
That's true, actually.
That is true. Anyway, what are you recommending? Seasons. All right, excellent. Yes for the environment. It's so bad, yeah. But you only have to put on for a little bit and then you turn it off and it keeps the heat. That's true, actually. That is true.
It's not too bad.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, what are you recommending?
Seasons.
All right, excellent.
Yes, the seasons.
We are the seasons.
No.
So can I go on to my next thing now?
I would love to hear what you're going to say next, Claire.
It's like the season's changing and I'm like, oh, I'm so excited
because I love the way the seasons shift and the colours in the sky.
Can you just, well, you're really going to hate my next recommendation.
Oh, is it a poem about the sky?
No, it's not about the sky.
It is a poem though.
And if you say poetry, I'll punch you in the noggin.
I wasn't going to, but now I'm thinking it.
So I want everybody to know that I'm not going to say it.
I'm thinking that the entire time.
All right.
All right.
It is from Mary Oliver, who is one of my favourite poets.
Let's all listen to various poetries.
Just this one poetry.
You are so.
I'm jazzing everybody up.
All right.
Get ready, everyone. All right. Get ready, everyone.
All right.
And in five, four.
Stop.
Now you're going to make me feel.
Three.
Are you going to make me feel weird?
Two and a half.
Can you just let me be?
Two and a quarter.
All right.
You're going to hate this poem, but I'm reading it for other people.
No, I like it.
I'm not thinking that thing I said I was thinking.
Fine.
Anyway, this is by Mary Oliver from Twelve Moons, Little Brown,
written in 1979.
Sleeping in the forest, I thought the earth remembered me.
She took me back so tenderly, arranging her dark skirts,
her pockets full of lichens and seeds.
I slept as never before, a stone on the riverbed.
Nothing between me and the white fire of the stars.
But my thoughts, and they floated, light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees.
All night I heard the small kingdoms breathing around me,
the insects and the birds who do their work in the darkness.
All night I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling with a luminous doom.
By morning I had vanished at least a dozen times into something better.
My goodness.
Shut up.
It's breathtaking.
You're the worst.
I enjoyed the poem, Claire.
No, you don't.
You don't.
Anyway.
It's a night or something.
It's just I think it's really beautiful and there's just something
about it I just was really drawn to, which I'm always drawn
to Mary Oliver's poetry because she writes a lot about the experience
of being in nature and connectedness with the living world.
And I think there is something really grounding about that
and that her writing because she was also a really free thinker
and just an all-around incredibly sort of strong and interesting person
but also someone that wrote about how life,
this is going to sound really corny, so you're going to laugh at me.
Let's do it.
No, I'm not going to laugh.
You are going to laugh.
I'm going to agree with you, whatever you say,
because that's what it's all about.
What is happening?
Who even are you?
I don't even know who you
are anymore. But life is so magic.
You don't have the time to
do things like this though.
It's like getting up in the morning and looking at
the sky and you're like, skin is embellished.
Or maybe sleep in.
Morning light is just so
incredibly
beautiful. And often
we can miss it. And if you miss that stuff, you miss, I think, the point of it all, you know?
I guess.
Don't worry because there are people listening to this who are like this.
They're like, oh, my God, you are speaking my language.
So even though you think you're going, you think, like, that I'm.
I know that you think that I think that I don't like this.
You hate this.
I don't hate it.
I think it's great.
Any joy you can get.
It's like the essence of what the world is.
It's the essence of you and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
It is or whatever.
Mary Oliver.
Anyway, okay, so this is actually a 32-minute short film on Netflix
called Two Distant Strangers.
It's been Oscar nominated.
Oscar's going to be weird this year because four movies came out last year
and one of them was Bad Boys for Life, which is not a good series of films.
People like them.
But anyway, whatever.
It's a science fiction drama film.
A science fiction drama.
It's written by Traven Free, who's written on The Daily Show
and directed by himself and Martin Desmond Rowe.
And it stars Joey, our badass.
But two of the S's are dollar signs.
So I don't know how you say that.
Bad-ass.
Dollar sign, dollar sign. I don't know how you say that. Bad ass. Dollar sign, dollar sign?
I don't know.
I have a real problem with the word ass.
Well, yeah, because it's a R.
Because I don't know how to say it.
Do I say arse?
I say arse.
Arse.
But that's A-R-S-E.
Yes.
So ass.
I feel like it's ass.
Bad ass is American.
Bad ass.
Bad ass.
Bad ass.
I mean, I guess that's how we say it, but it's not how it's spelt.
An ass is actually an animal, not a bottom.
That's true.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
If you're thinking it's a bottom, it's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
I like saying that to you.
It's a really pleasant thing to say.
Zaria Simone and there's someone else in it who I didn't put in.
James.
James.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
It's not a bottom.
We should, you know, it would be a great game show.
They show up with an ambiguous picture and then we're like, what's this?
Is it or is it not a bottom?
And you've got to guess.
For ten points, is this not a bottom?
That's correct.
That is not a bottom.
What other things would look like a bottom?
Oh, I know.
Close up of an arm where you squish your arm and it looks like a bottom.
Yes, yes, yes.
Two sausages.
Two sausages. Is this a bottom? Like lined up next your arm and it looks like a bottom? Yes, yes, yes. Two sausages. Two sausages.
Is this a bottom?
Like lined up next to each other.
Is it a bottom?
Well, there's that app I remember from Silicon Valley
where it could tell you something was a hot dog or not.
So you hold up something and it'll tell you whether it's a –
so you could do that for bottoms.
It'd be like it's an app called Not a Bottom.
Genius.
It tells you whether or not something is a bottom or not.
That's it.
We're going to make our millions and retire, James.
That's true. On Not a Bottom. Anyway, it. We're going to make our millions and retire, James. That's true.
On Not a Bottom.
Anyway, it's about a book called Not a Bottom.
Not a Bottom.
Not a Bottom.
All right.
Good stuff.
I could probably squeeze in a quick one if you want as well.
Yes, squeeze it in.
I finished up, and to much popular demand,
people want to know about this, I'm sure,
the Love is Blind reunion special,
which is the only reality show
that I've watched in the past two years.
I think other than Love on the Spectrum, which is like a legitimately good one.
Oh, that's so beautiful.
So for those people who don't know, it was a 10 episode or 11 episode,
I think it was 10 episode Netflix series where they split up the men
and the women and they went into a house and they'd go into pods
and they'd talk to each other through a wall.
They couldn't see each other.
That's why it was called Love in Blind.
Listeners, you can't see James' expression.
We've already talked about it in the show.
We have.
They had to decide whether they would get married without seeing each other,
and the ones who decided then they would come out of the pods
and then they'd kind of go and they'd go all the way up to when they'd get married
and they'd all get dressed up and they'd stand on the altar with all their families
and then they'd decide on the spot whether or not they were going to marry the other person
or break their heart.
It was fucking hilarious.
Anyway, no, it wasn't.
Some of it was tragic.
Some of it was funny.
Some of them it's just like, why are you doing this?
This is a terrible idea.
You started watching it and you were like, why am I watching this?
And you watched the whole thing.
I watched the whole thing.
Anyway, so I didn't realize there was a reunion special.
So this one you're catching up with a couple, some you love,
some you don't love, some you know, some are together
and you're just like, what is this?
Why are you guys still together?
It's been two years, you clearly hate each other.
What the fuck is going on?
Some of them who like are now single, you kind of see how they're going
and some are like doing better than others and still, you know,
still kind of out there and putting themselves out there and whatever.
And there's just, there's one couple in particular that's just like,
what is this?
And this guy's an absolute buffoon.
And the woman that he's dating is also like,
she's a real like firecracker as well.
And they clearly, they just, they just don't mesh.
They've got this real like love-hate kind of situation.
He's kind of a dope and she's like really fiery.
And one of the first things he says was, is like i've been you know really looking after myself now and now
now i like take care of my hygiene and i'm like what the fuck is happening he's like he's like 32
years old and then he's going through like his skincare regime or whatever and he brings like
a different woman to the reunion party as the as opposed to the woman that he was dating
and and then so there's this big blowout and the woman he brought is like,
why would you bring me to this?
What is wrong with you?
Because I thought we were friends or whatever.
And she's like, what?
No, why do you think I'm here?
And it was really funny.
And I'm like, I want to see this guy again every day
for the rest of my life.
It's hilarious.
He just looks like an anvil just kind of walking around like, what doesn't she like me?
Cause you're stupid.
You do stupid things.
You're a stupid person.
That's so mean.
Yeah.
Uh, does it bother you that they like choose people and play on their mental health in
order to create good television?
There's a couple of couples, like one in particular, who is like these guys legitimately seem like they like each other,
which is nice.
You know what I mean?
And every other person who is in the game show is just like staring
at them just like this fucking thing.
Like they like each other and they look happy.
Yeah.
But they look like legitimately happy.
Like it's really, it's quite nice.
So there's one out of like 40, however many were in it.
Wow. All right. But you recommended like 40, however many were in it. Wow.
All right.
But you recommended it?
No, don't watch it.
Do you know what I realised?
This is unsurprisingly what I love about reality TV
because I don't watch a lot of it at all.
I don't really get it.
When I do like it, it's because it's hopeful and inspiring.
Yeah, well, there's a little bit of that in it.
Speedcubes, I watched that.
I was actually talking about that today. Yeah, you were. That's cool. Apparently there's one on glass of that in it. Speedcubes. I watched that. I was actually talking about that today.
Yeah, you were.
That's cool.
Apparently there's one on glassblowing that's really amazing.
Oh, really?
Oh, glassblowing is amazing.
Yeah.
We saw glassblowing in Venice somewhere.
We did and they blew horses and all kinds of stuff.
Those Italians.
We're cut out for you.
Yeah, you were.
Yeah, you know, Italian stallions.
Big breath, you know what I mean?
Yeah, you would.
Yeah, you know, Italian stallions.
Big breath, you know what I mean?
Do you remember when we went to Venice at that particular spot?
Yes. 2008.
Yes.
And there was this amazing Venetian glass jewellery store
and I snuck in there, I snuck in and I bought you a bracelet,
Venetian glass, and then I hid it in my backpack
and we carried it all around Europe and then back to London. I lived there and just before, and then I hid it in my backpack and we carried it all
around Europe and then back to London.
I lived there.
And just before you went home, I gave it to you and you're like, oh my God, this is amazing.
And then you lost it.
I mean, you left it in a bar.
Anyway, I'm just asking, do you remember that?
I still think I knew exactly what you were going to say as soon as you bought the Venetian
glass, I got this like stabbing anxiety because
I still remember it and I loved it so much.
It was good.
Just these beautiful round things.
The guy helped me like distract you while I like picked it out or whatever.
Yeah.
And it was probably 80 euro which was a lot then and now.
It was a lot of money.
Oh, my God.
I just am the worst with stuff like that.
I just lose things so easily.
I don't know why you took it off.
I don't.
Or did you?
It must have fallen off.
I think the class broke.
I mean, you sold me a piece of crap.
No.
I loved it so much.
I'm really horrible at moving.
It wasn't meant to be.
It wasn't meant to be.
I loved it.
I'm like, I love you.
Well.
I kept you.
That's true.
You had to leave something at a bar.
Anyway, not running a tight ship this week.
My second recommendation is a show called Mare of Easttown.
Oh.
Yeah.
So it's Mare, M-A-R-E.
Oh, this one.
Yep, yep, yep.
So this is created by Brad Inglesby and it's on HBO.
It stars Kate Winslet.
It's really current.
It only just came out in April.
So Kate Winslet is a detective called Mare and she's investigating a murder
in a small town near Philadelphia.
Oh.
Yes, correct.
Kate Winslet's character is known as kind of like a local hero
because she once helped their high school basketball team
to win the championship with like a winning shot.
Oh, yeah, that's something I would do.
Correct.
But I would do a dunk.
You would.
I would do a slam dunk on the buzzer.
Yes, okay.
And they'd say three points and I'd say make it ten
and they'd say all right.
All right.
Can I go on?
Sorry.
Can I continue?
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Shorty McShortison.
Kate Winslet.
You've never bloody done a slam dunk in your life, mate.
I'm told you.
You can't even bloody reach the ring.
I'll wind it back down for you now that I've fixed it.
I'm doing slam dunks all day.
All day, every day.
Yeah, anyway.
Right, exactly.
Speaking of that.
We all have dreams.
We're doing Space Jam next week for Caravan of Garbage.
Oh.
Which is a bad movie.
It's a bad movie.
It's not good.
Anyway, sorry, go on.
Not a shock.
And she's really good in it.
She plays a very different character to her usual kind of character in this.
But then she goes on a date and it's just so funny to me
because she puts a little tiny bit of makeup on.
Like it's very little for the character
and she's immediately unbelievably stunning.
That makes sense because she's a famous actor.
Yeah, but she's just such a beautiful looking person.
Is everyone in the bar like, whoa, looking good, Kate Winslet?
She's like, shut up, I'm just a small town girl.
Don't even talk to me.
No, it's not even like that because she's not wearing heels or anything.
She's wearing pants or whatever.
So it's really supposed to be quite a downplay,
like what a regular person would wear if they were going on like a weeknight
out for a drink with someone.
But it's just because she's, you know, naturally got those cheekbones.
Got that look.
Got that look about her like a bombshell.
There was a reason James Cameron cast her in the movie Titanic.
Titanic 2, Titanic.
There was only one Titanic.
No, that's Titanic 2.
It's when the boat rises back up again, comes back together,
and they all sing as skeletons on the deck.
I was a robot boat the whole time.
And Jack comes back and yells at Rose,
why didn't you just let me on the door so I wouldn't die?
She's like, they did it on Mythbusters and they worked out
that I couldn't have actually saved you on the boat.
They did it on Mythbusters, Jack.
I'll never forget you.
And she pushes him down again.
I'll never forget you. Oh, God him down again. I'll never forget you.
Oh, God, I saw that movie four times in the cinemas.
You know what?
It's my level of love of Leonardo DiCaprio.
You know what?
What?
It's a fucking great movie.
It's a fucking great movie.
Thank you.
I mean, no.
It's got everything.
It really is.
You know why I know it's got everything?
Why?
Because when I saw it at the time at the cinemas with my family,
everybody got something out of it.
What, you think a posh girl can't drink?
You think I can't drink?
Oh, I love that scene out of the deck, some of the Scottish things
that she, like, goes up on her toes.
That's right, yeah.
Anyway, continue.
What were you saying?
It's crazy that boat's a robot.
But they show all the inner workings.
And my dad, this is a very, like, dad thing to love.
He's like, I love the inner workings of the Titanic.
You've seen the piston shifting and all those kinds of things.
And I'm like, well, I liked the action and adventure.
It's got something for everybody.
It's got something for everybody.
He's your dad with love.
He loves steam trains.
He does.
He's a big fan.
He really is.
But it is.
It's got something for everyone.
It's a good movie.
It's funny.
The chemistry's great.
It's very well cast. Bloody amazing costume. It's got something for everyone. It's a good movie. It's funny. The chemistry's great. It's very well cast.
Bloody amazing costume.
Billy Zane.
I know.
I love Billy Zane.
He nails it.
We recently did a commentary for The Phantom with Billy Zane.
It's not a good movie, but I love Billy Zane.
I love Billy Zane too.
And also, I mean, he's a bad dude in this, but I also really like him.
It's also quite interesting from a historical perspective.
Totally.
It's very accurate to like they rebuild a bunch of shit.
Yeah, and it's like a long movie.
It's real long.
But it's really great.
And then the way they do the whole like sinking thing, God,
it gives me vertigo.
You think they're not going to hit the iceberg every time you watch it.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Why is that?
I don't know because it looks like they're not going to hit it,
but they did hit it.
I know.
Why is that?
I don't know because it looks like they're not going to hit it,
but they did hit it.
I know.
And one of my – it kind of scares me right to my cockles because one of my deepest fears is deep ocean.
Yeah.
Because what the fuck is in there?
We don't know what's in there.
It's so deep.
It's just a bunch of fish.
There's so many things in there.
It's just a bunch of fish.
Don't worry about it.
No, they're giant fish.
They're big fish and weird tentacly things.
And then those weird fish with like the googly eyes that glow
in the dark weirdly with like giant teeth.
And then there's like a giant squid and also just kilometres
of ocean floor that apparently there's nothing there.
But of course there's stuff there.
It's the ocean.
This is why you love the movie The Meg for some reason.
Yes.
Even though The Meg is a bad movie.
Yeah, but it's about the mealodon, like the giant shark,
because we don't know.
There's probably more Megalodons there.
There's no Megalodons, Claire.
All I'm saying is.
They ran out of Megalodons.
The way I feel about the deep ocean, it's very connected
into how I feel about, like, the vastness of space.
I feel like it's very similar.
Well, James Cameron has, like, a love.
What are we doing here?
It doesn't matter.
He has a love of the ocean and part of the reason he made this movie,
Titanic, because he spent a lot of time in submarines.
He loves like single-person submarines going underwater because he made
The Abyss before that was an underwater movie.
The next Avatar movies are all set underwater as well.
Yeah.
Why?
He loves underwater.
He's done a bunch of documentaries about being underwater.
That's where he's been.
If you're like, why isn't James Cameron making movies?
Because he's just been underwater for 20 years.
That's why.
What's he looking at under there?
I don't know because he made Titanic in 97.
I think it was 97.
And then he made Avatar in 2009 and he hasn't made anything since
because he's underwater.
And he's done a bunch of docs and underwater shit.
That's why.
Didn't he make, he made Tintin that I tried to watch.
No, that was Steven Spielberg.
Oh, I always confuse those dudes.
Yeah.
I always confuse them, but they're not the same.
They're different men.
Aren't they white bearded dudes though?
Both white bearded dudes, yes.
That's why I confuse them because they basically look the same.
Yeah.
And they make big films.
I should show you the alternate ending to Titanic because it's terrible
and there's a very good reason why they cut it.
Was it happy?
No.
Okay, so I'll explain it but everyone should watch it, right?
So you know how the old woman at the end, she's on the back of the boat
and she drops the diamond thing?
Oh, yeah, and she goes, oh.
Yeah, she does that, right?
I don't know why she makes that weird sound, but yes.
What happens is they all run to the back of the boat
because they think she's going to kill herself.
They're like, don't kill yourself, Rose.
Also, she looks nothing like Rose.
They should have cast her better.
But anyway, and then they realise she's holding the diamond, right?
Oh, yeah.
And they're like, don't drop it because I'm Bill Paxton
and I'm after this diamond.
That's my story in this.
And she puts her hand out and he holds the diamond in his hand
and then she drops it into the water and they just let it fall down
and then they all start laughing hysterically.
And it's just bizarre.
It's so weird.
Why would they find that funny?
Isn't it worth like a bisquillion dollars?
It's worth so much money, yeah.
It's the heart of the ocean.
Yeah.
It's the heart.
It's the heart of the ocean.
It's the heart of the ocean.
Oh, it's much better that she just does that.
Yeah, exactly.
And Bill Paxton never gets what he wants, which is money.
Yeah, that's the whole point of that movie, isn't it?
All he wants.
I forgot about that.
So just give it to Bill Paxton.
What do you care?
I know.
It's a little bit selfish, right?
It's very selfish.
Because, like, Jack doesn't care.
You bloody left him to die in the ocean.
He doesn't care for your gem.
He doesn't care at all.
He doesn't want it.
But I think that was her letting go, wasn't it?
Was that it?
Yeah, yeah.
But, like, what kind of how rich are you that you can throw away,
like, a bazillions of dollars just for just for like your own kind of cathartic
She's dying.
She doesn't care.
She doesn't care.
What about your kids though?
Like that could set up a lot of people.
No.
That could buy a lot of vaccines now.
You can actually, if you crank the sound up during that scene
when it's shot from underwater, you can hear the old woman saying,
and this is kind of garbled,
but she's like, fuck Bill Paxton.
Which is crazy because that's not even the name of the guy,
the character.
She just hates Bill Paxton.
RIP.
RIP, by the way.
Incredible.
Anyhoo.
What is the show you recommend?
All right.
Okay.
It's not a show.
Oh.
It is.
It's the Mikey of Furniture. Oh, God. You picked? All right. Okay. It's not a show. Oh. It is. It's the My Key of Furniture.
Oh, God.
You picked the worst thing.
Okay.
I'm really fixated, listeners, at the moment.
I don't know if anyone else is in lockdown, but we are in lockdown
and all we're doing is staring at our four walls.
Well, I am.
I don't even know if James notices what kind of bloody furniture
is in our house.
Probably doesn't.
Sometimes he'll say things like to me like, that looks good,
and I'll be like, that's been there for two years.
And I'll be like, this son, this kid of ours, he has?
Correct.
Yeah, exactly.
And I'll be like, his name is Squogden.
Squogden, yeah.
And, you know, you did sire him.
That is true.
Many moons ago.
Technically sire him.
But it's good that you've noticed him now.
I feel like that was possibly what happened 100 years ago.
When we're like, oh, there's another one here.
Who are you, Blimpton?
Blimpton.
He's nice.
You know, his family has like 10 people in them.
They needed to because people died so much.
Anyway, so I know exactly what you're talking about with this IQ.
This is that drawers thing, that type of thing you brought.
Okay, so if, like me, you have small children, and if, like me, you have small children and if, like me,
they have like an inordinate amount of toys that just are overtaking
your house in mountainous piles and there's just tiny,
teeny little bits of things that just exist everywhere
and your kids are like bowerbirds.
They're just like putting little piles of crap all in corners
of your freaking house and then you're standing on Lego
and then you've got like buckets of toys but they've got
like miscellaneous weird things in them and sometimes you might find
like a weird, I don't know, half an orange in the bottom of them
or something and just like weird little stickers
but also little vouchers and all kinds of paraphernalia
and it's just taking over your life and it's really
annoying because then your said child will do something like go i really need this blue truck
and i must have it and they won't do anything else until they find the fucking blue truck
and then you spend the whole freaking hour searching for this one thing that they decided
that morning is the thing that they want well Well, I've got your solution right here.
Is it a bin?
I'll put you in the bin in a minute.
Oh, no.
I will.
I'll put you in there.
No, you are so bored by this, James.
But it is a set of furniture from Ikea.
Now, I'm not always really into Ikea furniture.
I think it's a bit squishy.
It tends to wibble and then you want to chuck it away.
And it's also like junk a lot of the time.
Like, yeah, it's awkward to put together and it's just crap.
Yeah.
Well, and it's not that bad, but it doesn't last very long.
This furniture, however, is very sturdy.
It is reinforced because I think it's designed specifically for kids.
And it's the Trofast brand, which is bloody awesome.
And it was a pretty easy assemble, wasn't it?
Yeah, it's actually really easy and quite satisfying.
You don't need a drill.
As soon as I see a drill or something that needs a lot of drilling work,
my brain just shuts down.
I think it's the biggest scam on earth that they send you a flat pack of junk
that you have to put together.
Yeah.
I know, not that you ever put them together.
No, I do put them together.
Actually, you do because I get halfway through them and I think,
I can't do it, and then you come in.
And then I go, I'm a man, and I come in and I go, I've got a screwdriver.
And then you sometimes stick the screwdriver up your bum.
Sometimes.
No, not really.
That's unrelated.
Yeah, yeah.
That's for later times.
You fall on a screwdriver once and then you never live it down.
Your wife had to take you to the emergency room
and then you have to explain it was all because of the trofast IKEA furniture.
I feel bad for people who, because your brother's doctor
does experience this, of people coming with things stuck inside them.
Yeah.
And like all the excuses that they have, it's mostly like I fell on it.
But what if you actually did fall on something and then you're just like,
I know you don't believe me, but I literally fell on this bottle.
I didn't put this in there for pleasure.
I had a naked wet bottom and I slipped directly onto this bottle.
I had an oiled up wet bottom from a massage that I had.
That must have happened because everything has happened to someone.
I mean, at least once.
Yeah.
I mean, I sliced a bit off my bum.
You did?
I did when I was a kid.
I was swinging on a swing set and there was in the backyard
and it was someone's house and the cap had come off the handle
of one of the swings.
It looked like a seesaw swing.
And I was swinging over the top of it and it sliced off a bit
of my bum cheek.
It had to get sewed back on.
Yep.
It was real painful.
I've had a lot of weird injuries.
It's true.
Someone pointed that out to me recently.
I'm not quite sure why.
Who knows? It's true. Someone pointed that out to me recently. I'm not quite sure why. Who knows?
It's because you're dumb.
We were having a discussion about how to store Lego and I'm just like,
just chuck it all in.
And you're like, no, it should be colour coded.
And I'm like, it shouldn't be.
If anything, it shouldn't be colour coded because if you're looking
for a specific bit, you're not looking for colours,
you're looking for a.
So I think if we are going to sort it, which we shouldn't
because it's insanity.
Which we are.
No, because that's exactly...
This is the thing, James.
That is how the real Lego masters do it.
No, that's the part of the fun of Lego, having a massive tub of Lego
and you dig through it.
You're like, ah, and you might be looking for a bit
but you find a slightly different bit or whatever.
So I think it should be, if we do sort it, which we shouldn't,
it should be by type, not by colour.
All right.
I think there are going to be a lot of people who disagree with you
and Lego should be sorted into nice, organised.
But I agree with you.
Maybe it could be bits or colours.
I'm an artist, James.
It shouldn't be sorted.
I like to sort my Lego.
Also, I just feel like at the moment that would be a nice task for me to do.
Big tub of Lego. Big tub of Lego. Also, I just feel like at the moment that would be a nice task for me to do. Big tub of Lego.
Big tub of Lego.
I hate that because then you can never find anything.
You rifle through it and you're not.
That's the point.
And then our son gets bored.
Lego is just busy work.
That's the point, Claire.
It's to distract kids for like as long as you can.
Yeah, but it'll be easier to distract them if they have to like sort the Lego out
and then you can make better
creations I'd be curious to know what people think about Lego etc anyway the thing about Lego is like
it's you know it's it can be for any age obviously but it's for children come on come on Darren
McDonald you know who I'm talking about hours and hours building Lego with his son and then like
you had a dream about this type of Lego that you then went and built.
It's true.
And I had a solution that I dreamt about.
But no, I'm just joking.
I actually love Lego.
And I say Darren McDonald because Martin McGowan,
who you interviewed, has a room in his house dedicated to Lego.
He does specifically.
He sent us a video that he made of it and you can put yourself into it.
But there's no magical things in there.
It has to be because he was like, oh, no, you can't put a pirate ship.
It's a real city.
My favourite thing about that is have we talked about this on the show?
Probably, but let's talk about it.
Yeah, it's set out like a proper city and there's like a bank
and like a jail at an airport.
And I'm like, why don't you put in an X-wing?
And he's like, no, you can't put an X-Wing in because it's not,
it's a real world.
And I'm like, what if you put in like a pirate ship?
And he's like, no, it's like a proper community.
And I'm like, you do Lego boring, man.
Yeah, because there are literally no rules.
You're the kind of guy who glues your Lego together.
Anyway, but that's the beauty of Lego is that it can be any version
of it you want.
Correct.
All right, done with your Lego talking?
I'm always done with my Lego talking.
Excellent.
Wait a minute.
Oh, God, I think you've officially lost your mind.
The Lego's talking at you.
My name's Lego and I'm red.
My name's Lego and I'm blue.
My name's Lego and I'm green and we're building a spaceship today
but we don't belong in the same tub because I think they should be sorted
by colour.
Anyway.
Anyhoo.
What's next?
All right.
So after last week's episode, if you haven't listened to last week's episode,
we had an argument about Lego and I've been told by the many,
many emails that I have received, I got more emails this last week
than I have in the entire, like, I don't know,
time we've been doing Suggestible.
Really?
No, as in like more in one week than I ever had.
Yeah, correct.
I reckon, yeah, we got so many.
And, right, so there are people in many camps.
Also, to clarify, it is not Legos.
It is called Lego.
As a lovely listener.
Nobody said Legos.
Who said Legos?
One of us must have.
I would never.
Okay, can I just for fun because this has made me giggle so much,
can I read you some of the titles of the emails?
Absolutely you can.
It's so funny.
All right.
Sorting Legos, Lego alternative, Lego debacle,
recommending a masterpiece of Lego.
Wow.
Lego with an exclamation mark.
The great Lego debate, how I sought my Lego in capital letters,
tro-fast, tro-furious.
Both of you are right about Lego.
No.
Thanks, Noah.
That was from our listener, Noah, and I appreciate that, mate.
Okay, so some people are in the camp that I'm an absolute Lego novice.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I got quite a few tweets and all of them agreed with me, every single one.
Isn't that just very convenient for you?
They tagged you in it as well.
They tagged it in you as well.
I ignored them.
I didn't reply to any of them.
Actually, to be fair, most people who were emailing in did say
that sorting them by colour and shape, if you are going to sort them,
is the way to sort them.
A very, I think.
What?
Yes.
Colour and shape.
Yeah, like if you're going to sort them, you sort them by both.
No, and if you really need to sort them, you sort them by type first
and then by colour. So you're also right. Why do you need to sort them, you sort them by type first and then by colour.
So you're also right.
Why do you need to sort them though?
Because they're messy, James.
That's the point.
All right.
Okay.
So I wanted to show you Ken's epic Lego room.
I'd love to see it.
We'll put it on Twitter or somewhere because it's like.
If Ken gives us permission.
Yeah, because it's so awesome.
So this is a letter from Ken.
Claire, James, long-time listener, love all your shows
and all your suggestions.
You guys recently mentioned Lego and Ikea Trofas,
two of my life passions.
Oh, Ken, I'm with you, mate.
I completely agree with Claire that they're a great solution
for organising all the kids' junk.
We use them in our toy room and our Lego room.
Here's Ken's Lego room here.
So look, Ken.
It is a masterpiece.
Look at this thing.
Look, look. Holy shit. Look at all the drawers. Look at this thing. Look, look.
Holy shit.
Look at all the drawers.
Look at all the, mate, we have to put this on Twitter.
He's got a Lego sign and all.
Yeah, it's so awesome.
James is correct that the proper way to sort Lego bricks is by type, not colour.
I'm seeing some coloured bricks in there, though.
Am I incorrect in those drawers?
Yeah, but listen.
But the easier method is sorting by colour.
Something to consider is how often the kids will mix them up, which is always.
So we just went by colour.
I thought I'd share a quick pic of our Lego room,
which uses all Trofast to sort our Lego collection.
Thanks for the entertainment, Kenny from Chicago.
I love that.
What a ledge.
I'm a big fan.
I know.
So he actually, and he looks like a Lego vision.
I know.
He sorts them by colour, mate.
Yeah.
And that's it.
That's all I wanted to say.
Is that just that one?
No, I'm going to share some more.
I could read five right now.
All right.
Okay.
Can I?
Sorry.
This is from David.
Sorry, Claire, but James is 100% right about Lego.
You should just dump it all in one bun or, if you must sort it,
by size, shape, not colour.
Dominic says, Lego was organised in order of preference.
No organisation, number two, organised by Lego type, number three, colour. Dominic says, Lego was organised in order of preference. No organisation, number two,
organised by Lego type, number three, colour. Earthbenderofsector2814 says, just listen to
your latest suggestible episode on Lego absolutely should not be organised. I hope you've taken a
hard stance on this and are being really stubborn about it and it causes a lot of fights. KP Murphy
says, sorry, but the idea of separating and storing Legos by colour seems literally insane to me.
You'd have to redo it every time your kids play with them.
If anything, by kind of Legos makes more sense,
but honestly also pointless.
Big smiley laughing face.
Gabe says, Legos should not be sorted.
But like James says, if you're going to sort them
in the least helpful way possible,
sort them by colour because when you're looking for a specific Lego piece,
you're looking for the size and not the colour.
All right.
Can I play you something now?
Yes.
Anyways, I'm going to recommend, we talked about it briefly last week,
the TV series called Lego Masters.
Now, this is the Australian one.
I've yet to watch the Will Arnett one in the US. It's hosted by comedian and radio host Hamish Blake of Hamish and Andy fame and
Ryan McNaught, who's also known as Brick Man, who's like a Lego brick master. So he's kind of
like the Gordon Ramsay of Lego, except he's not horrible. He's not a horrible person. Anyway,
if you don't know, it's a Lego building competition. Think MasterChef,
but it's Lego. So there's different challenges and they give them a different set of hours.
It might be like, might be six hours. It might be 14 hours, whatever. And they're ranked on story,
creativity, and technical ability. Sometimes they'll have to do a rebuild, but there's one
where they get a parrot and it's like, break this parrot down and make it into something else. And
you have to use every bit of the parrot. You know what I mean?
There might be a theme that they have to follow. It might be like space or
building a something. I couldn't think of a second thing. So it's like animals and buildings and like
people and amusement parks and whatever. And it's really fun. And like a lot of things,
it's ultimately pointless, but I think that's, what's good about it. It it's really fun and like a lot of things it's ultimately pointless.
But I think that's what's good about it.
It's like really light and really positive and there's kind
of one kind of like villainous kind of guy I guess in the first season.
But I've been told though by a friend of ours that that kind
of doesn't happen so much in later seasons.
Just this guy who just doesn't learn lessons for the entire show
until he gets eliminated.
He's just like, yeah, I'm the best here.
But he consistently proves that he is absolutely not.
It's quite amusing.
It's terrific.
And I've been watching it with our son.
We've been doing like one a day or one every two days.
They're about an hour each.
I think the premiere is like an hour and a half or whatever.
But it's also been inspiring him to like make more stuff.
And afterwards we go upstairs and we build some Lego together
and we map out a little plan and then we come downstairs
and you judge our Lego plan.
It's just great.
And look, again, I haven't seen the American one,
so maybe that would be more suited if you are, you know,
somewhere else in the world.
But if you are interested, it's on Nine Now,
which is a local app from Australia,
which again, you have to use a VPN. Nine Now is based on our free-to-air channel, Channel Nine.
But this particular app is the home of shows that were cancelled in 2016. I've got a list here,
that it's constantly like shilling in the seven ad breaks that they have during the show.
like shilling in the seven ad breaks that they have during the show.
I'm talking about Rush Hour, the TV series.
I'm talking about Lethal Weapon, the TV series.
I'm talking about the show Up All Night, speaking of Will Arnett.
I'm talking about the show Council of Dads. I'm talking about the show Allegiance.
Claire, which of those are real?
Tell me.
None of them.
They're all real.
They're all real shows.
But they're no longer.
Yeah, they've all been cancelled.
What is that about?
They've just bought all these shows?
Yeah, they bought all this old crap and just like,
you like the Training Day TV series that got cancelled
because Bill Pullman died?
I'm like, no, not really.
Bill Pullman died?
He died like three, four years ago, yeah.
I really liked him. I didn't notice about him. My favourite movie, While You not really. Bill Pullman died. He died like three, four years ago. Yeah. I really liked him.
He's my favourite movie, While You Were Sleeping.
No, is he?
Yeah.
He's in Titanic.
Talking about Bill Pullman?
Yeah.
You're thinking of Bill Paxton.
This is the mistake that everybody, including myself, makes.
I even went before I said Bill Pullman.
I'm like, is it Bill Paxton?
Is it Bill Pullman? I'm just checking. I thought it said Bill Pullman. I'm like, is it Bill Paxton? Is it Bill Pullman?
I'm just checking.
I thought it was Bill Pullman.
It might actually be Bill Paxton.
It is Bill Paxton.
Are you sure?
No, Bill Pullman.
It's Bill Pullman.
Yeah, I know, but I meant to say Bill Paxton.
I said the wrong Bill.
Fuck.
What's hilarious about that is that I don't know very many things about anyone,
but I feel like I would know if Bill Pullman died
because I love his character.
I can't believe I said Bill Pullman.
That's so embarrassing.
Oh, God.
I do that all the time and even when I don't do it,
I do it as a joke that I get it wrong but I just consistently get it wrong.
Anyway, those are all shows.
Rush Hour, the TV series.. Rush Hour, the TV series.
Lead the Web, the TV series.
Up All Night.
Council of Dads.
Allegiance.
Whoa.
Training Day sequel series.
Not to alarm anyone but Bill Pullman is definitely still alive.
He is.
He was in Independence Day 2.
Correct.
Anyways, I do want to talk about Squid Game which is a Netflix,
a Korean Netflix series. I want to talk about that next, which is a Netflix, a Korean Netflix series.
I want to talk about that next week because we don't have enough time.
But, my God.
So if you want to hear about Squid Game, come back next week
so I can talk about Squid Game.
Oh, God, I couldn't even handle it being in the background
while I was working.
It's funny because you were like, can you not watch this here?
And just as you said that, I'm like, fine, and I moved.
And then it just, like, went insane. So I don't know how you not watch this here? And just as you said that, I'm like, fine, and I moved. And then it just like went insane.
So I don't know how you would have had – like it was just like
it really kicked off.
I could tell.
It was so creepy and I just could feel the vibe and I was like,
I can't work with you.
I loved it.
I was trying so hard because I wanted you to stay in the room
because I like when you're around while I'm working or something.
Not when I'm watching the Korean TV series Squid Game.
Oh, Lord.
All right.
Anyways, I'm just going to let the dog out while you read a letter maybe.
Oh, no, I want you to hear this.
So we'll pause the time.
He's letting her out.
Okay, you ready?
Bill Paxton as well.
I can't believe I said that.
I can't believe you said that.
All right, what's next?
I said that.
I can't believe you said that.
All right, what's next?
He's the only actor to be killed by a Terminator, by a Predator,
and by an alien.
He wasn't killed by a Robocop, though, I believe.
I see.
They do look very similar, Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman.
I can see why you do that.
They are very similar. All right, your mind palace has a tiny, tiny floor.
Everybody has that floor except for you apparently.
No, because I only know people.
I don't have a very encyclopedic knowledge.
He was in the movie Twister.
He was.
I love Twister.
Do you remember the cow in Twister?
I should watch that again.
Yes, I do.
Introducing Uber Teen Accounts,
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Your teen can request a ride with top-rated drivers and you can track every trip on the live map in the Uber app. Well, well, well, well, well.
Hello, James.
Hello.
Welcome back to this show that we do.
It's called...
Suggestible Part.
Hey, shut up and listen.
Oh, no.
Don't be so rude. That's what I wanted to call it. And I think we should. It's called. Suggestible. Hey, shut up and listen. Oh, no. Don't be so rude.
That's what I wanted to call it.
And I think we should still call it that.
Change it.
It's fine.
Just make the logo a bit more aggressive.
It's just someone pointing.
You know that guy, like Uncle Sam?
But it's you.
You're the aggressive one.
It's like, listen to this.
Shut up.
You listen to this.
Look, I'm fragile today, James.
I understand.
I'm a fragile lady in a dressing gown.
Is that because the world?
On the edge of her sanity.
Wow, the world's falling apart.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, excellent.
Yeah, I know.
Hello.
Hey, what's up?
Hello.
Hey, shut up and listen.
James is drinking a kombucha, so I will just introduce myself.
I'm Claire.
I've already introduced myself.
James is here also.
We are married, and this is to Jessica, where we recommend you things that you probably won't ever watch, read, or listen to. James here also. We are married and this is to Jessica where we recommend you things
that you probably won't ever watch, read, or listen to.
That's right.
You better believe it.
However, we really appreciate your recommendation.
We really do.
Let me tell you.
We got a few doozies up our wazoo today.
Did we?
I don't even quite sure what that means but it amused me so I said it.
I made myself today, I don't know if you noticed,
I made myself some zucchini pasta today for lunch, James.
I remember.
And then you said this is enough for dinner and then you ate so much
that there was enough for dinner.
This is why I never make this dish because I love it so much.
It's so delicious and I was having a mental health day and I thought,
you know what is good for your mental health?
Cooking.
Always lifts my spirits and I haven't had time to go to the shops
or meal plan or anything.
And so what bucks me up is some delicious food
and I haven't had any buck ups with food.
So I was like, fuck it.
No one else in this house will like this zucchini pasta,
but I'm just going to the shop and I'm buying the ingredients
and I'm making it.
That is true because nobody else got a chance to eat any.
Well, he did offer you some.
He said he didn't want any because you're low carb.
Oh, my goodness.
Anyhoo, so I'm just going to tell you what my zucchini pasta was
because it was a big delicious pan full of joy and five extra kilos,
but, you know, who's counting?
Have you got any left?
No.
I didn't get a single bit of this pasta.
But I'll tell you about it.
Oh, I'd love to hear about it.
I mean, I saw it.
So this recipe is from my sister and also Jamie Oliver,
who I saw making it today on Instagram and that was what inspired me to make it.
So one zucchini grated.
Can you do it in a Jamie Oliver voice?
One zucchini grated.
Just like put it in the bowl then and then wiggle it around a little bit
and it'll be delicious, mate.
Oh, everybody loves a bit of zucchini.
I'm just going to pop out to my garden.
I've got everything in my garden.
If you have to use fresh ingredients, I'll come to your house,
I'll cut your throat.
I'm Jamie Oliver.
Well, that escalated quickly.
That's what he's like.
Okay, three cloves of garlic diced, one lemon with zest grated,
parmesan cheese grated, spaghetti, olive oil, salt and pepper.
So you put your pasta on to boil and you boil it away.
You make sure the water is super bubbly with a bit of salt
and you throw it in.
It has to be spaghetti, none of this fettuccine,
none of this, you know, toily pasta, none of these shells.
Spaghetti.
Okay.
We never eat spaghetti because we have kids who can't really manage it
on their forks. I didn't manage it very well.
So I was like, God damn it, we're just going to have some fucking spaghetti.
Okay.
Moving on.
We're going to have some spaghetti.
I'm going to come to your house.
I'm going to step on your bollocks.
It's Jamie Oliver.
All right.
Back to my Jamie Oliver there.
All right.
So then you get your zucchini and you grate it.
You grate it fast.
You grate the whole zucchini.
Do you have to grate it fast?
Yeah, you do.
You've got to grate it. And then you get your lemon. You zest it. You zest it because you've got fast. You grate the whole zucchini. Do you have to grate it fast? Yeah, yeah, you do. You've got to grate it.
And then you get your lemon, you zest it.
You zest it because you've got such a zest for life, mate,
that you zest in your lemony deliciousness all over the place.
And, oh, lovely bubbly or whatever he says.
I'm British.
This isn't massacring their accent at all.
Okay, so next you cook until warm.
It looks like cock but it says cook because it's a handwritten note
in this recipe book.
Cook until warm but remove from heat before zucchini.
Get soggy.
You don't want no soggy zucchini, mate.
You want them crisp and hard.
I don't know what I'm trying to say.
You can see why you put cock in your recipe.
Oh, I don't know what that was.
That was me snorting because I love life so much.
You could have said it was me.
You could have said Jo snorted that.
No, more about authenticity, mate.
Authenticity.
Authenticity.
With an F.
Authenticity.
Authenticity.
Okay.
So then, now I'm sounding like Russell Brand.
Or nobody British ever because this is the worst accent in the world.
This is really accurate.
And if you're British, I'm horribly, horribly apologetic.
I hope in ten years you get cancelled for this.
Yes.
No, it's going to come out.
Look, we're convicts.
They booted us.
We're descended from convicts.
They booted us out of their country.
We can make fun of their accent.
I'm not even making fun of it.
I'm genuinely just trying to do it.
Just to clarify, I'm making fun of it though.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, good.
You are.
You were saying that, I don't know what, you're making fun of my garden.
My garden is great.
I grow my zucchinis in there and then I'll grow some mint.
I'll put it in my pasta.
I tried to fix school food in America but I couldn't.
I got a real sale on TV in there and then I went to my garden.
I cried into a basil leaf.
Anyway, go on.
I think he did great things.
No, he didn't.
He didn't fix shit.
All right.
Anyway, he did a recipe book.
I have to say my 15-minute meals recipe book is bloody brilliant.
I mean no one cooked anything in there for 15 minutes.
You know how many people have turned this off because it's pretty good.
I'm so sorry.
Anyway, I've got to finish.
I've started now.
I've got to finish it.
I'm so sorry, guys.
Okay.
Drain pasta until well done and add some zucchini.
Yeah.
So you drain your pasta until it's al dente, you know,
so it's like slightly springy and delicious.
Sure, yeah, I get you.
None of these soggy spaghetts around these traps.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
I've gone off the deep end, mate.
Oh, God.
Going off the deep end is my kind of thing.
I don't like this anymore.
Oh.
What?
I was having some fun.
Yeah, you keep going.
I thought you thought I was funny.
Yeah, no.
But it can never do annoying.
But that being said, maybe it'll come back around again.
Yeah, you're good at that.
That's what I often do.
You do a bit so long that it becomes like a mollusk on my brain.
I can't get rid of it.
Anyway, drain pasta and then add to zucchini.
Stir it all through with your lemon zest.
You add some olive oil.
You season with salt and pepper.
Fresh chilli.
Lovely, jubbly, bubbly, bubbly.
Then you serve it with your fresh parmesan and you stir through your fresh mint leaves
and then it's deliciously oh so.
And that is the key, mate.
You have a cheeky half a glass of red wine,
which is what I did at lunchtime today.
Never do that usually.
Thought I'd be Italian.
See if it would buck me up.
Made me sleepy.
Didn't work, did it?
No.
Pretty much ate that whole plate, that whole bloody fucking giant pan
I made today.
Day drinking.
Unbelievable. There you go. And today. Day drinking. Unbelievable.
There you go.
And that is zucchini pasta.
Mmm.
Well, I must say it looks really good.
All right, you sexy beast.
Jesus.
Doesn't he sometimes aggressively call people that?
I don't know what he's about.
Anyway, I actually quite enjoy him.
He seems all right.
It's your bloody turn, mate.
I've just massacred the British culture.
Britain doesn't have culture.
Chin-chin-a-dee, chin-chin-a-dee, chin-chin-a-roo.
It was a bit Dick Van Dyke.
My pasta was delicious like Louis Thoreau.
That's my second recommendation.
Like Louis Thoreau?
I'm just, yeah.
A documentary?
A Louis Thoreau documentary?
No, it's a podcast.
Okay. It's a delightful podcast. Iau documentary? No, it's a podcast. Okay.
It's a delightful podcast.
I will leave the room if you keep doing this.
I'm not even joking.
May I remind you that you suggested it.
Yeah, I know, but I'm still going to leave.
You suggested that I do an accent.
You think I'm joking.
Okay, listeners, we've been married for many years and if James knows anything,
he knows that I am terrible at accents, impressions.
I'm terrible.
I'm just terrible at it.
I think it's more your personality.
Sorry, me on the other hand.
I can't do anything about that.
I have, you know, some people think my personality is tolerable.
I'd love to meet them one day, but what were you saying?
Tolerable. I'd love to meet them one day. But what were you saying? Tolerable.
That's it.
I have a podcast recommendation for Louis Theroux.
Do you want to do that?
No.
Okay.
Well, I watched a movie.
It's on Netflix.
What up?
It's directed by Joe Penner.
I probably pronounced it wrong.
It stars Anna Kendrick, Tony Collette, Daniel Dae Kim.
I know who that is.
He's great.
He's from Lost. Oh, yes, I do. Yes, yes, I know him. Yep, I like him. I know who that is. He's great. He's from Lost.
Oh, yes, I do.
Yes, yes, I know him.
And Shamir Anderson.
And it's basically, it's a mission to Mars, right?
It's a rocket ship takes off.
It's got Anna Kendrick, Tony Collette and Daniel Dae Kim.
They're astronauts.
And we're like, we're loving going to Mars.
We're going to do some colonisation stuff.
It's a two-year round trip, right?
Everything's going well.
They're bonding.
They're handshaking.
All of those things.
Hang on a second.
Hang on a second.
Is this a movie set in space?
Yeah, well, they're in a spaceship, so yes.
All right, you're going back to classic James recommendations.
Now you like this one.
It's got Tony Collette, Claire.
I know, I know.
As a space captain.
I'm just merely pointing out, if the listeners have not already pointed it out to themselves
in their brain and it turned off when I was doing
my terrible Jamie Oliver impression that you are yet again recommending
another movie set in space.
It just popped up on Netflix.
All right.
And people are like, it's good, and I checked it out, and it is good.
I did like it.
Okay.
Also, I am a sucker for a space movie.
Everything's going well.
Suddenly.
Aliens. No. It's very realistic. I don't know what else happens space. Everything's going well. Suddenly. Aliens.
No.
It's very.
I don't know what else happens.
Satellite crashes in.
No, it's realistic-esque.
It's called Stalway because they accidentally took another person to space.
Serial killer.
No, he's just a guy.
Alien.
No, he's a guy.
He's a regular man.
And so now there's four of them on this two-year trip to Mars.
I have to point out something else. Do they sit in a room and stare at the sun until their
faces start to melt off?
I'm leaving.
No, come back.
I'm going.
Come back. I can't carry this on my own.
You've got to ask her.
No, I'm having a fragile day. Get back in here right now.
That's your one warning. That's your one warning. You think I'm
joking? I'm not going to come back. No, he really left the room. Well, that sounds awesome. I'm
totally going to watch that. A bit of escapism. Will you now? Sorry. All right. Now, I wish it
was a visual medium,
not because you could see me then in my dressing gown,
but because James was doing a funny face and a little fist.
I was, wasn't I?
You did.
You looked like a little leprechaun, a little grey-haired leprechaun.
I do look a bit like a leprechaun.
What's next, Claire?
All right, Barry.
Let's go.
I don't even know what that's got to do.
Are you trying to pretend that's not your accent so I don't leave the room?
Yeah, I was.
You just did an accent there too.
No, this is Louis.
But it's funny when I do it.
Is it Louis?
Here's something you're going to love.
It's from the Vox YouTube channel which do a lot of good in-depth reporting,
not always but every now and then.
Do you know what I mean?
They'll be like, hey, check this out and you're like, oh, okay,
or sometimes they'll be like, check this out. And
you're like, ah, no, no, thank you. But this particular video was called, and you're going
to love this, Why Doors? Yes. Open and shut. No, Claire. In video games are so hard to get right.
Okay. Oh my gosh. And the thing about it is they're complicated. You think in a video game,
it's easy. You put a door in, you go up, your character opens it or whatever. But there's different levels of doors that you might put in
a video game. And this 12 minute video goes through them all. There's four levels and I'm
going to give them to you now, but you should watch the video. Okay. Collins, we'll link it below.
What is happening here? Okay. What is actually happening here?
The first option is no doors. So for example, you come to a doorframe, there's nothing there. So the
character can just walk through it.
There's no interaction required.
Second one is doors that open automatically.
So your character doesn't have to physically interact with it
and they might just slide up like you might see in the game Halo,
for example.
Yes, I know that's what you're going to say.
I wanted to get in just before that.
I've literally fallen asleep with my eyes open.
The third option is where there's some slight interaction
where you might, like like press towards the door like
make a gesture and the door will flip open and the third is this gesture oh that's quite rude
and the fourth one is where the character fully interacts with the door work walks up
holds the handle turns it and has sex with the door and you can do that that's the thing is what
you have to consider and i'd never thought about this in games, is doors not only dependent on like opening and closing,
it's how the characters interact with them.
If it's multiple characters and not just one,
if there's someone standing on the other side of the door,
how does that affect the physics of the door?
The door also often has to open and shut both ways
because that makes it easy for interaction,
which is not something a door does in real life.
They also have to be slightly higher than a door frame would be in real life. So if it's a third person,
the camera can follow you through the door and not get kind of stuck like towards the roof when
you go through. So all of these factors go into making a door and it's a nightmare to put a door
in a video game. And I just never thought about it. And I'm like, that's very interesting. And I can tell by the look on your face that you think it is also very
interesting and you're writing me a note, you're holding it up,
it says, James, I love what you've done here and I have so much respect
for your opinions and what you bring to the show.
Thank you for writing that.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, and she drew a little love heart around it.
It's perfect.
Anyways, that's the show.
I have to say.
Doors.
How about snores?
Whoa.
Actually, full disclosure, I really didn't think I would find
any of that interesting and most of the time I didn't.
But I kind of do.
You know why?
Because, James, I'm really interested in just make the things.
Yeah.
And I always find those tiny little things when someone's making something,
it kind of makes me feel better because I always used to think that like I hit
against all these stupid little problems and it was my fault because I just
wasn't good enough.
No, it turns out making a thing is basically just coming up against a whole
lot of bullshit little tiny problems yep exactly
you have to solve one after another what i'd love for you to do also you started and you're not
gonna believe this everybody the game breathe of the wild zelda breathe of the wild yes i did
oh no it's breath of the wild but um because you loved ocarina of time as a child and you're like
maybe there's something you can play with our son and you started playing with it and you're like oh my god this is the best thing i've ever seen but
you're also like is this violent should i be playing this with my son and you're really at
a conundrum because it seems like you're swept up in the world of hyrule but you're wondering
whether or not this is the game for you at this point in time anyway it's a great game apparently
really excited to play it, but I'm just torn
because the first, I was really into it while I was swimming and getting apples and doing all the
bizzo, riding a horse. But then I had to hit this big red goblin with a stick that I'd collected
myself. And while if I was alone, I would have been like, I'm hitting you goblin. I'm hitting
you man. I'm sorry. I'm an angry woman stuck in a bloody video game of my own making.
Not really.
Choosing.
I don't know.
Choosing.
And I would have done it.
But my five-year-old son is there and all I do is tell him how much I don't like fighting.
And you were like, you didn't tell me there was fighting in this game.
And I'm like, he's holding a fucking sword on the cover of the box, Claire.
Yeah, but I thought that was for like slashing branches.
That's what the game was.
He played Ocarina of Time.
He's got a sword and a horse and all of those things.
Yeah, I know.
But that game is so, again, I haven't played it,
but that game is so much more than just fighting.
There's exploration and cooking and any point on the map
that you can see you can technically get to.
Again, I haven't played it, but people love it.
Yeah, and see, I think I will.
I thought I would go back to it.
The problem with me is with video games is that I just like
to do that stuff in real life.
Oh, well, you can't right now.
I like to go swimming and I like to go walking in the bush
and I like to cook.
Life is a real video game.
So why would I do that on a screen when I could do that in person?
However, I can't really go everywhere all the time.
Why would you watch a murder mystery when you could murder a person
in real life?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Why read a book when you could eat a book?
I don't know.
You know what I mean?
I'm tired.
Yes, I know.
Okay, I think, you know what, I'm going to play it this week.
Your dismissal of the art form of video gaming is quite frankly
embarrassing and naive, quite frankly. Oh, okay. Are you right gaming is quite frankly embarrassing and naive.
Quite frankly.
Oh, okay.
Are you right there, quite frankly?
Is that your name now?
Are you calling me quite frankly?
Well, my grandfather's name, whose name wasn't Frank, was called Frank.
Like it wasn't his real name. It wasn't Frank.
People were like, this guy's name is Frank.
And I'm like, why?
And they're like, I don't know.
And I'm like, it's weird that his name is Frank, don't you think?
But his name's not really Frank.
And everyone's like, I don't know.
And I'm like, nobody wants to explain any of this.
It's not even a nickname.
Mother Grandpa, his real name was John.
People called him Jack.
And I'm like, why?
And they're like, it's his nickname.
And I'm like, it's not a nickname.
It's just a different name. I'm not against that? And they're like, it's his nickname. And I'm like, it's not a nickname. It's just a different name.
I'm not against that.
You can change your name.
But what is the story behind this?
Nothing apparently.
It's just what they called him.
I don't get it.
I don't understand.
Just a different era.
What's your name?
Frank.
Is it really?
I don't know, whatever.
I actually was teaching with a woman at school who told me that,
that she had to find her birth certificate to get her passport
and her name was Helen, not Mary.
What?
And she didn't know.
See, that's what I'm talking about.
And it wasn't until she found her birth certificate.
I find that really amusing.
But it's like a nickname I get, but just like another name.
Yeah, it's got like Helen and Mary.
There's no connection there.
Don't get it.
So what happened?
They call her Helen on the birth certificate and then they're like,
let's call her Mary.
There was probably another person who went to that church who had that name
so they just renamed them or whatever.
I don't know what people used to do.
Think about doing it.
Yeah.
Do documents.
It's wild.
What's your name?
Frank.
Is it?
Exactly.
Except if I'm doing anything official.
Frank, you've got a letter, but it says James on it.
Well, no.
Yes, my name is James, but why am I calling you Frank?
That's true.
His name was James.
Or was it?
Anyway.
What have you been up to, Claire?
I know you've been working on your new podcast.
You've been driving yourself crazy, going around in some random circles.
Oh, man. Yeah, I've been working on your new podcast. You've been driving yourself crazy going around in some random circles. Oh, man.
Yeah, I've been working on this new show.
And if anyone listened to my old show, Just Make the Thing,
you will know that I am really bad at creativity.
And I have a really mean person that lives in my head that tells me
that everything I make is terrible.
And you know what?
I just want to say thank you for the position.
I really.
Is it an honour?
Yeah, it really is.
Look, it doesn't pay well, but it's an absolute blessing.
I've decided to name the person in my head Maud.
Maud is a good name.
She's a real arsehole.
Yeah, just tell her to shut up.
Whenever Maud's doing these things, shut the fuck up, Maud.
It's not a word.
The problem with Maud is that she just sneaks in just when I'm having fun.
I'm making a thing and I'm thinking, this is fun.
There's no real rush.
I can make it in my own time.
It's all good.
And if no one listens to it, that's fine.
And she comes in and goes, you're shit and everything.
Talks like that?
Jesus Christ.
No, no, Maud's a little bit more, she's just a maniac.
Yeah, I have a voice in my head and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
Shut up.
I'm trying to like do it.
I'm working.
Shut up.
What's the voice in your head?
Is your voice in your head more about just like making fun of people?
It's all me.
So it's like meh, meh.
I'm like, shut up, idiot.
Just grumpy?
Shut up.
I know I'm not good at anything.
Shut up.
I'm still putting this out.
I know. So Jerry Seinfeld that I always. I'm still putting this out. I know.
Jerry Seinfeld that I always talk about that interview he did with Tim Ferriss
because he just nailed the feeling that I get anyway when I'm trying
to write something which is that everything you write is terrible
and mostly mediocre.
Yep.
And he said you just have to be okay with your mediocrity.
Well.
And put it out anyway and push through that.
That's right.
And then hopefully you get better.
Correct.
And my newsletter, I've been loving doing that.
It's been great.
I've just been sending it out.
It's on every Friday.
You can sign up if you like.
I was going to say, before we talk about all the things that we recommend on the show,
Claire, they can sign up for that, can't they?
Where would they sign up though?
They can sign up in the link in the bio.
My goodness.
And there's also in the bio, in my Instagram at Claire20. But also, Colleen's will put a little link in the bio. My goodness. And there's also in the bio, in my Instagram, at Claire20.
But also, Colleen's will put a little link in the show notes for you.
Put a little.
There you go.
And if you sign up, you can access all the back catalogue as well
when you get the first one that you get.
Sometimes it lands in your junk mail,
so you've just got to scurry around for it to confirm it.
It's not junk.
It's solid gold.
And every week. Except that Maud said it's not Claire. Shut up, Maud. It's not junk. It's solid gold. And every week.
Except that Maud said it's not clear.
Shut up, Maud.
It's not.
It's terrible.
Shut up, Maud.
Actually, Maud doesn't really speak like that.
I can't wait until you meet someone called Maud.
I'll just see your eyes narrowed.
Just like this one there.
Also, if everybody signs up, once a week somebody wins $5,000.
Cool hard cash.
Who's getting them this cool hard cash?
That's up to you.
What?
Don't put that out into the universe.
I don't have any cool hard cash.
Why is it cool and hard?
I keep my cash in the microwave.
Oh, my God, that sounds terrible.
Room temperature cash only for me.
That's not room temperature, is it?
Anyway, we should recommend things.
We both watched a thing this week, didn't we?
We certainly did.
You started it and then I finished it and then you finished it.
Yes, you did.
I thought we were going to watch it together.
We don't watch anything together.
No, because I always fall asleep.
That's the main problem.
And then you wake me up and go, Claire, Claire, you've fallen asleep.
Go to bed, you.
You go to bed.
Idiot.
Hey, maybe you are bored.
Yeah, you know what you're doing?
I'm asleep on the couch and you come over and whisper in my ear sweet nothings
about how your name is Maud and how I'm terrible at everything
and should never try anything because no one on the level is to do it.
That's me.
Pachow.
You got me.
This show, though, it's called Trying.
It's on Apple+.
It's the bloody story of my life.
Am I right? Yeah, I'm not bloody wrong. It's on Apple+. It's the bloody store of my life. Am I right?
Yeah, I'm not bloody wrong.
It's on Apple+, for the 14 people who have Apple+.
If you buy an Apple device, they give it to you for a year.
So that's good, isn't it?
That's how we get it.
That's how we do it.
Every six months, they release a show and then I go,
this is really good.
This is a really good show.
Like the morning show?
Yeah, that was all right.
Mythic Quest I really like, which is coming back soon.
They just had a new special as well.
Was it a Mythic Quest?
Yes.
I don't know what.
That's not a joke.
You just said it in a slightly different way.
Anyway, this show was created by Andy Walter.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You want to say it in another way?
Was it a mythic quest?
No more.
I guess it was.
Okay, so Robert Harding recommended Holly McNish to me.
She's amazing.
She is a poet and she does kind of those like slam.
She does not.
She does not.
But she does slam poetry.
So, you know, there's kind of, have you ever seen those rap battles?
Yes. Well, there's also poetry, have you ever seen those rap battles? Yes.
Well, there's also poetry battles that they do.
I know.
And they're really, I know it's not really up your alley.
No, no.
But I think you would really love her poetry.
Yeah, I'd have to go on.
No, you actually.
Are you going to read one?
No, I'm not going to read one.
I'm going to get Collings to play a part of one at the end of the show.
Well, I'll have to listen.
There's so many good ones.
There's one called Nobody Told Me that I'll get Colleen to play
and it's all about Megatron.
Megatron the Transformer?
Correct, yes.
Okay, which version of Megatron?
The one that transforms into a jet, the one that transforms into a tank
or the one that transforms into a hangar?
Can you hear Rain Man from Transformers?
Can I finish?
Is it Megatron from Beast Wars who might be a different Megatron
but he changes into a dinosaur?
It's time for me and you to hang out together alone.
You go talk to Maud.
You see what she thinks about Megatron.
I'm slowly going insane.
No, can I finish telling you why it's about Megatron?
What about Megatron?
Okay, so it's about becoming a mother and about her son
who is obsessed with Megatron and how he thinks Megatron is a superhero,
but she talks about how she's actually the superhero
because of what happened to her body during childbirth.
So Megatron's a bad guy.
What is she talking about?
Well, you have to listen to the poetry.
Okay.
Because our son likes Megatron too.
Megatron's a villain.
He's not a superhero.
Well.
You sure you don't mean Optimus Prime?
Yeah, maybe.
No, but it's called Megatron. No, but it's called Megatron.
I'm sure it's called Megatron.
I don't know.
Maybe she's referring to Optimus Prime because Optimus Prime was originally
a worker called Orion.
No, it's Megatron.
It was called Orion Pax and then he was transformed into the leader
of the Autobot Resistance and he's the last Prime and got the Matrix
of Leadership, but Megatron.
Sorry, go on.
What can you tell me about this poem about Megatron?
So annoying.
I don't know how Collings is going to edit my rage out on this episode.
Good luck.
Something that I have to talk about that is, you know,
of immediate importance.
I have found out this week that I part my hair on the side and it's wrong and it makes me
old. It makes me old and not cool. No, your face makes you old. Your hair just accents it.
Okay. Yeah. Well, well, well, well. But I just didn't know. Look, I have to say,
full disclaimer, I've never been cool. It's never been my forte, never, not even in primary school,
not even in high school, not for a minute.
It was never in my radar.
That's cool.
Have I ever been cool?
I think if I have to think about it, I probably haven't been cool.
What have you got?
No, hang on.
I have to talk about this back.
That means I can part my hair in the middle again.
No, no, no.
Yeah, I've got my hair long.
Okay, you were saying you weren't cool and I am going to tell you right now,
you were sort of in a coolish group.
I, on the other hand, was nowhere near being cool.
I was not.
I wasn't even cool adjacent.
I was bottom tier and that's cool because, like,
you know how I know I was bottom tier?
Because somebody told you.
My favourite novel in year nine was Isabel Carmody
and I got put into the advanced
English class where I had to go and do a presentation for the year tens in their
English class. Like they put me into the English class and I was so thrilled about it. I didn't,
I got up and did this whole presentation on Isabel Carmody's novel over Newton.
And I had thought that everyone would know what I was talking about when I made jokes
about the main character because clearly everyone should have read
Over Newton by Isabel Carmody.
I know, exactly.
I did not know this story.
Of course no one had bloody read it.
And so there was just like silence and as I was reading my little nerdy report,
my little heart just like sunk into my shoes.
Yeah, and you know what happened?
All those girls are all dead.
Anyway.
It's fine.
And that's fine.
I'm fine with not being called.
The thing is, like, who wants to peak at school?
Anybody I know who peaks at school is a piece of shit and they're not doing anything.
They are doing literally nothing.
Because they went, this is it.
I'm on the track.
Because everything comes easy. So you don't have to try.
You're either good looking or you're cool and whatever.
And then that shit doesn't mean anything in the real world.
I mean, it helps to be like good looking, I think it does.
But if you're just an obnoxious cool person, guess what?
No one gives a fuck.
People just think you're an asshole.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean anything.
If you're cool and snarky and
mean, people fucking hate you.
They don't care.
That's why you see those friendship groups.
They all marry each other.
All the cool groups.
You had girls at your school
who had a school reunion
adjacent to your school
reunion because they
didn't agree with certain things that were going on.
It's like no one gives a fuck.
No, it wasn't even that.
Nobody cares.
It wasn't even that.
It was my 10-year school reunion, which I didn't go to
because why the hell would I want to relive the hell that was high school?
You can do your report again.
On the Overnewn Chronicles, which I stand by.
It was an excellent series.
Anyway, so dystopian.
You would love it.
Yeah, I would. Anyway, no, so my school reunion was You would love it. Yeah, I would.
Anyway, no, so my school reunion was organised.
It was like 10-year reunion.
I didn't go.
But I bumped into an old friend I went to school with and she was like,
oh, did you hear that the cool group in inverted commas boycotted the 10-year
reunion and made their own one that only the cool people in inverted commas
could go to?
That's so fucking lame.
That is the lamest thing I've ever heard.
I'm trying to fix the purpose of the reunion because that's basically
their weekend every Saturday, I'm assuming.
It's so sad.
I don't even know.
Look, anyway, I don't want to, look, everyone's like.
That's so, like, I hear that and I'm like, that's grim.
Like, it's not even like, like, you're an idiot, obviously,
all of those people. No, they are. It's fine. I don't want to say that. They are. I'm you're an idiot, obviously, all of those people.
No, they are.
It's fine.
I don't want to say that.
They are.
I'm saying it.
I don't know any of these people.
We just were talking about radical empathy and now we're telling people
they're idiots.
But they just mean like we're having the cool school reunion.
Guess what?
No one gives a fuck.
That's so dumb.
Look, but that's also life, right?
Like life is hard and becoming an adult is hard and people's like different
points in where they saw themselves being and, you know,
their friendship groups, all that stuff.
Go for your life.
If they want to have their reunion, great.
I don't have to go to either of them and I'm very happy.
Yeah.
All I'm saying is, James, I thought that I had a pretty, you know,
up with a haircut.
Oh, yeah.
I always thought you did.
I didn't do. Turns out, no. Turns with it haircut. Oh, yeah. I always thought you did. I didn't do.
Turns out, no.
Turns out it's totally lame.
Yeah, well, look.
It's middle aged.
You can't.
Okay, so now I have to part my hair in the middle,
but I have a big forehead and it looks ridiculous.
You've got a big forehead, mate.
My face is like 80% forehead.
See, I think the problem with this is the moment that I discovered
the side part, I really felt like with this is the moment that I discovered the side part,
I really felt like it came into my own.
And then I had the realisation this week that that makes me the same as those people
that I used to make fun of who were stuck in the 80s with their 80s hair
and now they're in their 50s but they've got to look from the 80s.
Don't chase trends.
It'll destroy you.
Just do what you think looks good and don't be chasing, like,
age-appropriate trends because you're going to end up looking ridiculous.
Do you know?
No, well, I don't.
Yeah, I know.
However, I'm sure but that same advice could be applied to people
who are still wearing their mullets from the 80s.
No, I mean there's a difference between having a mullet.
I don't know.
There's a difference between, like, having a mullet still and not, like, a new mullet as in you's a difference between having a mullet. I think mullets are back in now. I'm really confused. There's a difference between like having a mullet still and not like a new mullet as
in you're a person who had a mullet and still has a mullet.
Also, God bless you if you've still got that hair.
You should have a mullet if you had a mullet in the 80s.
Full respect.
Yeah, but like, honestly, just do whatever, man.
Do whatever you want.
Actually, that is the main thing, isn't it?
Okay, you've made me feel better.
And then when you go to your 20-year school reunion, which, by the way, mine is this year.
Jesus, you're so old.
Yeah, I know, I'm so old.
I'm going to dye my head jet black and they're going to be like,
this guy looks exactly the same.
All right, we have rambled for way too long.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, we get started.
Colleen, please cut all this out.
What nonsense.
Put this up top if you could.
Hi, we're going to ramble for like 12 to 13 minutes about school reunions
and being cool
and side parts and whatever and middle parts which is what i shouldn't be doing my whole life
but if you can there's a time code if you want to skip to the actual content but look if you
want to hear us like talk about how cool we are at school and you'll love it all right so but this
week i'm talking about sentimental in the city with carolina donah and my favourite, Dolly Alderton from the Hilo podcast.
Awesome.
Yes, and I talked about it in my newsletter and I'm going to talk
about it here because it is just pure joy.
It's unadulterated fandom for the show that was Sex in the City
and they talk about each of the character arcs and also
because they're both writers, they talk about it from the perspective
of the writer's room because the writer's room in Sex and the City
was made up of mostly young single women who lived in Manhattan at the time.
Yeah, right.
And so a lot of the characters are based on their real lives,
which I think is why.
Is that why it feels like for the most part real?
Yes.
Why the movies feel like absolute shit.
Oh, God.
I don't know.
And they're going to do the first movie and just like skim over the second movie
because as really diehard fans of the Sex
in the City will feel.
The first movie is fine.
It's fine.
The second movie is a train wreck and horribly racist and awful.
It's also not even true to the characters.
All right.
Who are the two gay characters that they're friends with who get married
at the start?
Anthony and the other one, the bald guy.
And there's an episode where they,
because there's an episode specifically where they go to hook them up, right?
Stanford.
Stanford.
I've seen every episode of Sex and the City.
What of it?
But, and the point made in that episode is like,
just because we're two gay guys doesn't mean that we're instantly going
to like hit it off, you know what I mean?
Exactly, which I think is absolutely fair enough.
And then that movie opens up with those guys getting married
and I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Yeah, and then from there it just gets worse and worse and worse.
And then they bring Aiden back in and he's got a family
and they ruin him because he cheats on his wife.
Which is so not in character.
This is not, that's what Aiden would do.
Can we just stop, please?
The whole point of this is this wonderful sentimental piece
about how incredible the writing is.
And now you're bringing in this horrible movie that there is so much in that show that is just so well done and the writing is so great.
And there's obviously episodes that aren't great and are problematic.
But in general.
How can Carrie meet her Tinder date when there's the coronavirus?
Oh, my God.
I can't wait for relevant social issues.
Oh, goodness. And lots of soft focus camera work.
They need to pull back on that. What is going on with this filter? It's out of control.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh look, I think-
Should kill big though. Give them that heart attack that they've been threatening.
Oh God.
Killing dead, mate. Have it on screen. I'd love it. Oh my God, I'd love it.
Anyway.
And another thing I want to throw out there to people,
the new series of Sex and the City called, and now look at fucking this.
And just like that.
Yeah, just like that.
It's do you want, would people be interested in us doing, like,
weekly recaps as, like, a separate episode for this?
I can put it in the feed.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Because we're both fans.
We've both seen every episode.
In a way, I'm a bigger fan and I'm more of a feminist,
so I think my take is unique in a way that Claire's is not.
So, yeah, let us know and maybe we'll do it.
And even if you don't want us to do it, we can still do it
and you don't have to listen to it.
No, because we'll probably do it at home anyway.
That's right.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Well, well, well, well.
If it isn't another podcast. It's another podcast, a suggestible podcast. That's right. Well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well, well. If it isn't another podcast.
It's another podcast, a suggestible podcast.
That's right.
That's the podcast.
We're on the podcast.
Do you consider this a beautiful day for podcasting?
I thought you were going to say, do I consider this a beautiful podcast?
Do you?
And my answer is, yeah.
Can a podcast be considered beautiful?
Yeah, well, this is a thing because it's an audio medium.
I think beautiful is not only visual.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
James, beauty is not only skin deep.
That's what I'm saying.
I was saying that.
Don't turn this on me.
All right.
Don't imply if somebody cannot see something, it is not beautiful.
Well, I can see you.
Do you not consider the wind a beautiful thing?
You know I do.
Do you not consider a rainbow when you've got your eyes shut a beautiful thing?
What do you mean?
You're confusing me
I see rainbows with my own eyeballs
You know what song I love?
What's that?
Red and yellow and pink and green
That song straight up sucks
Purple and orange and blue
I can see a rainbow
That's a really good song
No, it's not
Anyway, enough diddle-daddle-fiddle-faddle
Thank God
Enough chippity-choppity, lippity, loppity.
Good.
Enough squiggity, wiggity.
This is Just For Podcast.
My name is Claire.
James is here also.
We are married and we recommend you things to watch, read and listen to.
That's right.
And if there's even a hint of a song, Claire will sing that song sometimes in its entirety.
So just be aware of that going forward.
If life could be a musical.
It would be an absolute hell.
Shaboom, shaboom.
Oh, if life could be a dream.
Not even the same song.
Like it wasn't even close.
I sometimes people have said that I remind them of a Sesame Street character.
Because you're a fucking Muppet.
Wow.
Ouch.
That hurt my feelings.
If you weren't so grey, I would feel sorry for myself.
But I don't think you have anything to be saying to anybody, Mr Grey Man.
You're probably right.
You told me yesterday that you went to the gym and you worked out
and the trainer filmed you.
Yeah, which I do not care for, quite frankly.
No.
And then what happened?
Then you said, oh, no, I look like some.
I just look like some old guy.
And he goes, no, it's inspirational.
It's like I'm some fucking, which I know it's supposed to be a couple of,
but it's like, which also 50 is not that old.
No, it's really not.
But just like, nah, even
someone like you could do it.
But let's flip it around.
On the positive, you lifted a really, really, really heavy thing.
I certainly did.
And it was really, really, really impressive.
Correct.
And as a result, I'm more muscular than ever somehow.
Somehow, who knows?
And you have to comment on it every day.
Every day, every goddamn day.
Every goddamn day because you are beautiful.
Even if you can't see me.
And full circle, maybe not like this podcast.
That's right.
Who knows?
Should we do our first recommendations?
We absolutely should.
Do you want to kick us off?
La, la, la, la, la.
You have to put your.
La, la, la, la, la.
I've got a little bit of flair.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Do, do, do, do.
Put a hot filter on. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Do, do, do, do. Put in my heart, build around.
Welcome to Suggestible, the show where Claire will sing at you
even if you don't want to.
But at least you don't have to live with it every day like I do.
James will make a kombucha.
Or not make.
You'd never make anything.
But you'll drink a kombucha any day of the week.
Your feet liquid that you enjoy.
Why would I make a kombucha when I could buy it?
Do you know that kombucha comes from this thing that's kind of like a jello-like
bacteria substance called like scaly or something?
Everything's gross and poisonous or whatever.
I'll Google you a picture of kombucha bacteria.
It's not going to help.
I don't care.
I've seen it.
I don't give a shit.
All right.
It's probably good for you.
This is a just for podcast.
We recommend you stuff to watch, read, and listen to.
I'm Claire.
Jay's the also.
We are married, and let's bloody get this show on the proverbial road.
I agree.
Am I right?
Why don't you tell me what you've been watch, reading, or listening to?
No, I'm busy.
I'm Googling kombucha.
All right.
Well, while you're doing that, I'll start.
And I won't listen to you.
I'm going to talk about the Fear Street trilogy.
Are you familiar with the Fear Street books?
No.
There are some R.L.
Stein books that started in the very late 80s.
How do I not know that?
Because I love Goosebumps.
Yeah.
So what they, the reason you might not have read them is because as Goosebumps were taking
off, that was the age that you were.
And these were like for old kids.
So there was like more gore and horror and terror and people being murdered and stuff,
right?
So all three of these movies were directed by Lee Janjak.
Janjak?
I don't know.
But anyway, which is an incredible feat because it's three.
I'm interrupting you.
Just look at that.
It's called Scoby.
I don't care.
It's bacteria in a jar.
Yeah, it looks like a chocolate mousse or something.
Are you insane?
Look at this one. Yeah, it looks like a tiramisu.
It's got like mould sitting on the top of it.
It's like it's disgusting.
Anyway.
You eat yogurt.
What do you think yogurt is?
Yeah, good point.
I'm sorry, continue.
Yeah, so she managed to direct these three movies back to back
and they're all interwoven, right?
Again, based on the R.L.
Stein books of the same name.
The overall story centres around teenagers who work to break the curse
that has been over their city for hundreds of years.
So the idea was initially, again, shoot these back-to-back,
which again is incredible.
It's incredible.
It's a really difficult thing to do.
Movie trilogies try it every now and then.
I could shoot you in the back if you like.
What?
Pew-pew!
Pew-pew-pew-pew!
You said shoot back-to-back.
If you're going to interrupt, it. What? Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. You said shoot back to back.
If you're going to interrupt.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
It has to be a good joke, Claire.
The rule is if you're going to derail, I guess it can be annoying.
Wait, wait, wait.
I guess this is.
The joke, is it taking you this?
I mean, we're nearly up to 100 episodes.
I don't know how many we've done.
I think this is 101.
Oh, God.
We didn't do anything fun for it or anything.
No, we did a great show.
That's fun. I don't think it's 101. Oh, God. We didn't do anything fun for it or anything. No, we did a great show and that's fun.
I don't think it's 100, surely.
I'm pretty sure it is.
All right.
Well, happy 100.
Right in.
Let us know what's 100.
I'm looking at, no, it's like 78.
Rob Collings has been, no, your numbering system is wrong
because Collings has been numbering them in Big Sandwich
and we're over 100.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, oh, shit.
If I'd known it was 100, I would have done something fun.
I wouldn't.
I knew and I didn't say anything.
Anyways, yeah, so the first one's set in 1994,
second one's set in 1978 and the third one's set in 1666.
Ooh, step back in time.
You get some characters.
All our confusion when nothing is new.
There's nothing to it.
I will leave.
Step back in.
R.L. Stine.
What's happening?
I said step back in R.L. Stine.
Oh, very good.
I will leave the room.
You think I won't?
I will literally leave the room and not come back.
And that will be the show.
And it will be a lesson to everybody, to you and to everybody listening
who encourages your nonsense and shenanigans.
I'm not here for it.
Why is the line now is that you'll leave the room?
You just keep doing that.
You've done that a couple of times.
Everyone knows you don't really mean it.
Just try me. See if I see what happens.
No, I don't want you to leave the room. Anybody who listens to my more successful
show, The Weekly Planet, knows that I run on pure spite.
I know. I've been married to you for many years. I know you run on pure spite. I know that you will
hold like a grudge up against someone for so many years that they will have forgotten about the whole incident
and then you will get them.
I could walk out and just not do the show again, just pure spite.
Even though I enjoy doing it, I'll be like, no,
I'm just not going to do it because I know it makes somebody else
slightly more unhappy.
Well, not even, just a little bit unhappy.
I'll wear that.
Okay, fine.
Anyway.
Just before you continue, can you at least acknowledge my wonderful joke,
step back in Narelle's time?
It was pretty good.
It was a pretty good joke.
Just came out of nowhere.
It was really incredible.
It surprised me.
Okay, continue.
I don't know where these ideas come from.
Okay, I'm going to stop you right there, Sunny Bob.
I've had a lot of vegetables today, so I'm sorry about the general smell in the studio.
You can't smell anything.
All right.
Okay.
Well, colleagues get that out.
No one needs to know.
I guess.
I don't know why you said it then.
I don't know either.
Even if I was, I wouldn't have brought that up because I'm a gentleman.
I think that's a very silly move.
I can tell.
I had a fistful of chocolate chips before we started.
A fistful?
The only chocolate in our house house because otherwise we'll eat it
is some chocolate chips I bought for baking.
I got some terrible protein bars.
Oh, no, they're awful.
Anyway, so I just jammed a fistful in.
No, I don't want to eat one of those.
They're rocky road.
Oh, no, I don't like, no, I'm not into it.
I just want regular chocolate chip cooking chips. Anyway, where was I going with this? I don't like, no, I'm not into it. I just want regular chocolate chip cooking chips.
Anyway, where was I going with this?
I don't know.
I'm on my phone.
So you keep going until you're finished and then I'll come back.
I'm interested.
No, please don't do this.
I'm interested.
I'm listening.
You're so annoying.
Oh, am I?
Don't go on your phone.
Am I now?
You know how I hate that.
You know how I hate that.
I hate that. Sorry, go I hate that. I hate that.
Sorry, go on.
You ate some chocolate and you're farting up a storm.
Go on.
I didn't say farting.
I just said it smelled a bit.
What else would it be?
I had a lot of vegetables today.
What's happening?
Do you know vegans and vegetarians fart a lot?
Everybody farts.
Yeah, I know.
I had this exact conversation with my son today who keeps trying to shock me
by saying like poo and fart jokes and I just keep going deadpan back at him.
Yeah, everybody farts, everybody poos, and then I like kill the joke.
But now, oh, brah, yeah.
Yeah, for him.
But not for us because it's endlessly amusing.
Great.
Cool.
Okay.
Can I talk about mine now?
Sure.
That was really boring.
But what's next?
My niece, I'm so sorry.
Let's be nice to each other again.
This is the tone.
You've said it.
And I'm this close to walking out, Claire.
All right.
I'll be nice now.
Do you remember Midnight Chicken, James, the book,
the recipe book that I talk about a lot that I love?
Do I remember that book you never stopped talking about?
Ella Rich Bridger.
Yeah, well, I bloody love her.
Anyway, she has written a poetry book.
Well, not written.
It's an anthology of poetry.
It's called Set Me On Fire.
Don't Say Poetry or I can hear in your brain what you're going to do.
I would never say I think that.
James over there.
I didn't say anything.
I've never said anything.
All right.
Anyway, it's a beautiful anthology of a lot of poetry
that you may not have heard of.
Oh.
Which is really lovely.
Which would be all of it.
Go on.
Anyway, it's a collection of fresh, vibrant voices from poets
all over the globe, both living and dead,
with an intuitive, accessible feelings-first format.
These are poems for the moments when you really need to know
that someone else has been there too.
So this poem is about eating and kissing and having too many feelings,
about being outside and inside and loving someone so much
you think you might die.
Oh, my God, I'm overwhelmed by being inside.
I've got so many feelings.
I'm going to go outside.
Oh, my God, my feelings are also, that's too much out here.
Maybe I'll just stand in the doorway.
Oh, there we go.
The perfect balance.
They're about breakups and getting back together and, oh, God,
it's complicated, don't ask me moments.
They're about wanting and waiting and having, about grieving and life
after death and the end of the world.
They are, in other words, about being alive, James.
Sounds amazing.
Was that a poem or was that just like a description?
No, that's just a description from the website.
But I wanted to read it out because I felt like you would immediately hate it.
My brain shut off when you started doing that.
That's why I couldn't tell it was a poem.
It's not a poem.
You going to read one?
No, I'm not going to read one.
What are you recommending this book for then?
Because it's really great and I think it would make a really good gift
for Mother's Day if you're in Australia and Monday is Mother's Day.
So there you go.
That's it.
Your turn.
That's incredible.
I love poetry.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful book description with us.
Really, it was very moving.
Last one I've got.
Cool.
All right.
Cool.
All right, so I watched a documentary from 2019.
It's on Apple TV Plus television channel.
Why did you say it like that?
I don't know what it's called.
But it's also the directorial debut of Bryce Dallas Howard,
who people might know more commonly for acting.
She was in one episode of Black Mirror.
She heads up the Jurassic World franchise, Running Around in Heels.
Yes, yes.
She's in the best Spider-Man film, Spider-Man 3.
Not the best, but, you know, she's good in it.
Is she also in an episode of Black Mirror?
You said that, Black Mirror.
Yes.
You did say that.
It's about where everybody's ranking each other on a file.
Yeah, yeah, I always remember that because I feel like that's
very similar to the Uber ratings.
Yes, that was the idea.
You got the subtext.
Well done.
Shut up.
I am nothing if not very clever.
What have society, what have technology too far?
He stopped making it.
What's his name?
Charlie Brooker was like, everything's too sad.
I'm going to stop making Black Mirror.
Because we actually feel like we're living in a Black Mirror.
Yeah, there's Black Mirror knockoffs and I don't care for it.
But anyway, so this documentary is about dads around the world.
So it's like stay-at-home dads, single dads, immunocompromised dads,
same-sex parents, dads with sick kids, and it kind of jumps from story
to story about dads that not always but more often than not
in kind of uncommon or what wouldn't be seen as traditional roles, do you know what I mean,
in family roles.
And it kind of explores that.
And the whole thing is intercut with celebrities,
famous people telling kind of their stories just to camera
about what it's like to be a dad and their experiences of it.
So it's got like Judd Apatow, Jimmy Fallon, Kenan Thompson,
Conan O'Brien, Will Smith. So it's really interesting though. I think both sections work and it's kind of
balanced really well because it's like, yeah, celebrities are funny and whatever, and they'll
do a little joke and whatever. But then it cuts to like a real thing of like, there's a guy in
Japan who got sick. So he decided to stay home and look after his kids. And then he got better.
And then he was like, I'm just going to do this,
which was really uncommon.
Yeah, especially in Japan.
They've got really traditional roles.
Women basically do the bulk of all of the child raising.
Yeah, but he's like, I love it and I will never go back
and this is something I find really fulfilling and he's like,
now I'm much more sillier and all these kinds of things.
And it's just, yeah, it's interesting because it looks at, you know,
it doesn't take aim at like traditional stuff by any stretch
but it just shows that like you can have, you know,
more involvement if you want to, do you know what I mean,
which is also depending on your circumstances.
There's a lot of people they do visit, it's like I'm so tired
and, you know, it's not meant to be a situation and whatever.
So that's definitely a part of it. Uh,
there's a few really great, uh, quotes, uh, from it, which I'll just mention a couple of my
favorites, uh, Jimmy Kimmel on the birth of, um, on his wife giving birth. I think I said this to
you where it's like, she, she's Batman and, and you're not even Robin. You're one of the tires
on the Batmobile. That's quite funny because you do.
You just feel helpless just standing there.
Like everybody in the room has a role like except you.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I thought about that before.
You just kind of stand there and you hold your hand and you, like,
say good job and whatever, but it's like, yeah, that's all you can kind of do
and you kind of feel like a moron being there.
But also you want
to be there at least you know what i mean yeah yeah i didn't feel like you were a tire on the
batmobile no well you were doing your own thing so i don't think i was the concern but we've talked
about this story before it's really funny a friend of mine who's a teacher um a woman that he works
with was telling the story about how when she was in the middle of labour,
I might have told this on here, but who cares, the nurse handed him like a cloth,
like a damp cloth to kind of, you know, to mop her brow.
And he goes, oh, thank you.
And he wipes his own face.
And she's like, never.
Like, let him forget it.
Which is so funny.
But also I can see like in the moment it's stressful, never, like, let it, forget it, which is so funny. But also I can see, like, in the moment it's stressful,
you know what I mean?
And, like, I can see how you would, you just,
you'll kind of lose track of, because I remember the last kid
that we had or you had was a caesarean,
if you're comfortable with me saying this.
Yeah, it's fine, yeah.
And I'm coming into the room and they're like, okay,
she's around this way and there's just this, like,
it looked like a circus tent in the middle of the room. And there's just tarps everywhere and there's nurses and doctors.
And I didn't even know where the fuck you were, like among it.
Like they're leading me around and I'm like, I don't even know where I'm going.
And it's like one room.
And they're like guiding me by the elbow.
And I'm like, what's happening?
I just remember because I was lying down.
Yeah, all I could see is like blue sheets and the doctors are all talking to me and then i just
see your head pop up in a shower cap yeah exactly just like hi it's me i'm here and you had that
look on your face where where you always do when things are really terrible but you're trying to be really upbeat. And you were like, hey, how you doing?
But what I wanted to say about the whole Batmobile tyre thing was
that it's interesting that you feel like that because there is no,
like the idea when the pandemic hit, the idea that you couldn't be there.
Yeah.
Oh, now I'm going to cry.
couldn't be there.
Yeah.
Oh, now I'm going to cry.
Made me terrified because you are the person that keeps me calm and makes me feel centred and grounded and safe.
Even when I'm like, hey, I'm here too.
Look at your little dumb face.
Not dumb, just beautiful.
I just, I'm going to cry because those moments,
Not dumb, just beautiful. I just, I'm going to cry because those moments,
I'm at my most vulnerable and they really can be frightening.
I know women have really positive experiences too,
but for me they were both times were frightening in different ways
and you being there was the only face I wanted to see,
other than the professionals.
Yes, of course.
But like genuinely it meant the world to me that you were there.
Well, yeah, because you've got someone who can go into bat for you, I guess.
Oh, but also you can't underestimate.
I was speaking to a midwife recently who said one of the major things
for women when they're giving birth is that they feel safe.
Yeah.
And you make me feel safe.
Oh, cool.
And I am.
Yay.
But anyway, so yeah, so even though you might feel like you're,
what is that saying, useless as tits on a ball or something?
I know for so many of my friends and for me anyway,
you there as my person just and holding my hand,
even though at the time it might seem like I'm not even noticing because I'm just in excruciating pain
was the thing that kept me going.
Like a magician show.
Yeah, totally.
That's what happened the second time.
Jesus, I'm tough.
I know.
That's amazing.
Like I don't know how you did it twice in two different
and equally terrifying scenarios.
It was crazy.
I just remember being on my phone out the front and then they're like,
because I saw the room and it was like an empty room and I'm like,
and they're like, just sit here.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool.
And so I'm just on my phone as they're like tying you down to the bed
or whatever they do.
And then coming in and I'm just like, oh, shit, this is the room.
I didn't even, this just looked like an empty room.
I didn't realize that this was the room.
I just didn't expect it.
This is where it's happening.
This is where my wife's being sawn in half.
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. God. Yeah. Well, that documentary sounds amazing. I just, we had a great chat after
you. Yeah, it's cool. I really liked it. Yeah. This reminds me, I'll tell one of my favorite
teaching stories, even though it's like got nothing to do with this, but I just, it just
always stuck with me. I taught this kid
a few years back when I was teaching and he was great. He was just like a real, like odd duck
kind of kid. And you know, he had friends and stuff or whatever, but he was, he was a nice kid
and he had like fun ideas and he was like a bit dark and a bit weird, but he was, it was cool.
He was interesting. And that's what I liked about him. Someone had died.
Someone's parent had died or something.
I can't remember.
So you've got to do like a grief thing, you know what I mean, where you might talk about death and what it means
and if you've experienced anything like that, et cetera, and so forth.
Anyway, he goes, he puts his head up and he goes,
and he kind of talked like this.
He was like, when I was little uh when i was a baby uh a man
i was in my grandma's house and a man climbed him through the window
and murdered my grandma and and and now i'm worried he's gonna come back and murder me
and i'm like what the fuck excuse me and? And I'm like, okay.
I'm going to just, like, put a pin in that.
I can't just be like, do you want to fucking elaborate on that?
What do you mean?
Your grandma was murdered?
What are you, Harry Potter?
What the fuck are we talking about?
Anyway, so before I got a chance to speak to the parents,
so now the kids must have told, like, gone home and told the mum
because that's something you ring for and be like, hey,
what the fuck's up with this thing?
Did this thing happen?
And they came in and they're like, his mum, his grandma wasn't murdered.
Like, I don't know why he said that.
She's still alive.
She's still alive.
I'm like, and she's like, I'm so sorry.
And I'm like, we don't know, like, why he's – and I'm like, he's fine.
He's great.
You don't need to – honestly, you don't need to worry about it.
He's, like, a nice kid.
Because I think that other kid who was, like, quite sporty and, like,
like you'd expect from, like, more than, I guess,
for lack of a better word, normal.
And he was, like, a bit of an odd bod.
But, again, that's why I liked him.
And just the, like, we don't know why he's like this.
And I'm like, fucking relax.
He's all right.
Don't worry about it.
He'll be all right.
And he probably is.
And that's the thing, though, right?
Like at the end of the day, it'd be so bloody boring if we're all different.
If we're all the same.
Yeah, the thing you said.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, like I wonder what.
I don't know why he said that.
Like there was no, like, lead up, which is why I'm like, is this true?
Like because it just came out of the blue.
I don't know like why he said it.
That's my favourite thing.
And he looked like it happened.
Like his face, like he really sold it.
Oh, God.
But that's the cool thing about being a kid.
Everything is so vivid for you, you know, like it's so vivid
and there's a line between what's real and what isn't that is quite blurry
and that line you're kind of walking where things are in your imagination
but maybe they're real or maybe they're not and you sort of know they're not
but maybe they're not.
I just love that time in your life and speaking to kids when they're in that is just so cool.
Yeah.
Because they blur things and I just love it and they make me giggle.
Anyway, he's a great kid.
I loved him.
What a legend.
Bing bong, big, big, big bong, ba-da-bong.
Wow, there's some big, big mongs this week.
I'm bringing them back by popular request.
Apparently people love them so much, James.
You got one message.
Let's calm down.
There was another person that seconded the motion
and therefore I will do them in perpetuity forever.
I appreciate a commitment to a dumb thing.
That's what I'm all about.
Well, you know, I've made a commitment to a dumb thing.
Oh, he laughs.
That was good.
That was a good joke.
Do you know what gets me every time?
And hello, listeners.
This is a suggestible podcast where we recommend you things to watch,
read, and listen to.
My name is Claire.
James is here also.
We are married.
What up?
And now I'm going to continue with the banter.
Yes.
Because I got that out of the way.
I love when we're sitting around the kitchen table and we play that game
where we have to try and make the other person laugh,
and the first person to laugh obviously loses.
And the rules are that you have to stare at the person's face.
You cannot make any sounds.
Yes.
You just have to do a face thing.
And I can make you laugh every bloody time.
I don't think I've ever won one.
I know.
Why is that?
Because you look fucking strange.
I do.
I have a really frightening face strange. I do. I have a really brightening face.
I really do.
I can manipulate into pretty terrifying facial shapes.
Yeah, it's very Sesame Street-esque, I feel, my face.
It just kind of morphs.
I look very different from different angles.
I've had a lot of time to think and look down about the different angles
of my face.
Do you ever see a photo of yourself and you're like, Jesus.
Yes, all the time.
Look around like that.
What are you talking about?
You look like a very fit, regular man.
I look a million years old.
You do not.
Yeah.
You do not.
The only thing that makes you look old is your graying hair and aging face.
Yeah, exactly.
With my hair as well, it's like 20 years beyond what it should be of my age.
You know what I mean?
I mean, to be fair, you started growing grey at 14,
so really it's doing pretty well.
I guess.
All things considered.
Sorry, it's our daughter.
Bing bong, bing bong, bing bing bong.
It's suggestible time, everybody.
It certainly is.
Hello, James.
How are you?
Love life.
How are you? Oh, it's a lie. He's dead inside, guys. It's his hit time, everybody. It certainly is. Hello, James. How are you? Love life. How are you?
Oh, it's a lie.
He's dead inside, guys.
He's hit rock bottom this week.
Have I?
No, that's me.
This is, oh, okay, I was going to say.
I'm just projecting.
I live down here, mate.
I live in the filth, rock bottom.
You're like the troll that lives under the bridge in the Billy Goat Gruff story
and everyone's walking across the bridge and you're like, I want to eat you and I'm going to live under the bridge in the Billy Goat Gruff story. And everyone's walking across the bridge and you're like,
I want to eat you and I'm going to live under the bridge again.
People are like, excuse me?
Like, sorry.
This really happened today actually.
That's why we bring it up.
I hide under a local bridge and I come out and I'm like,
rah!
The troll!
Sorry, what?
And everyone's like up at the shops and you're like a 38-year-old man.
Yep.
Walk on by and they're like, oh, it's the local troll.
Look at this guy.
And you're like.
Also, I'll just have some apples, please.
There's some apples, but there's some fruit.
Thanks.
Also, I need a loaf of bread.
Oh, no, don't have a loaf of bread.
Look, if you dress as a troll, no judgment.
What are we doing this week?
Oh, yes.
This is just for fun. On the show that we do. First, I have to explain a troll, no judgment. What are we doing this week? Oh, yes. This is just for fun.
On the show that we do.
First, I have to explain the show to the listeners.
This is your first episode.
And if it is, I'm so sorry.
This intro has been terrible.
Never apologize.
That's my motto.
As the local troll.
Never apologize.
We have to distinguish as well.
We don't mean troll as in online person that insults everybody.
No, no, no.
We mean the green goblin-esque character.
Is that green?
With big ears.
Generally green.
Yes.
Anyway, enough of this troll nonsense.
This is the Gentleman Podcast where we recommend you things to watch,
read, and listen to.
I am Claire James here also.
We are married and that's about it.
If you want something else.
Sure.
Turn off now.
Don't.
We need every support, every piece of support that we can get.
Every goddamn piece of support.
And if you disappear, I will find where you live
and I will hide under the bridge near your house.
And when you come past, I will demand that you resubscribe
to this podcast.
I just had this really funny idea of this like troll on holiday.
Yeah.
And that's just you.
I'm in a Hawaiian shirt.
I got a little briefcase or a little suitcase or whatever on wheels.
You're just like taking yourself photos under all different bridges.
Just not getting sun.
Just sitting under a bridge.
Yeah, but in different locations.
Different locations.
Yeah.
Anyways, Claire, what are you suggesting this week
on the show Suggesting Balls?
All right.
I'm really excited.
I've been waiting for this for a while.
Oh, my God.
This book.
As you know, I am now on a campaign to get the partners of the people
who listen to this show better presents.
I understand.
Correct.
So I'm suggesting things that I like as presents in the hope
that maybe your partner is similar to me.
Can I just say this is unfair because that means
that I can't get you these presents.
Oh, no.
Mostly they're things that I've already bought myself.
Okay, good.
Or you've bought me.
I'm at a massive disadvantage here is all I'm saying.
But anyway, sorry.
Go on.
Keep your little trolly ears out.
I'll be sending some recommendations for me that I haven't bought yet.
Okay.
Just keep it out.
Keep a little Spidey feelers out there like a little Spider-Man.
Like your special video that came out this week that did.
Not too shabby. It's the amazing Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone loves a Spider-Man, like your special video that came out this week that did. Not too shabby.
It's the amazing Spider-Man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone loves a Spider-Man.
It's true.
Everyone loves a man in Lycra.
It's true.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got to have the legs for it.
It's kind of like it's not one of those things you just throw on,
you know what I mean?
But sorry, go on.
Do you need slim legs or muscular legs?
Slim legs.
All right, you'd be fine then.
I'd be fine.
My legs would be fine, but the rest of you, I don't know whether it would work.
You look great in lycra.
Let's talk about this off show.
All right, no, I'm joking.
I'm joking, everyone.
Calm down.
She's not joking.
That's, yeah, anyway.
Hey, everybody.
We're going to be talking about the Tooth Fairy and Sandra
and all these other things.
If you've got kids in the car, we don't want to know any of the secrets.
Do you know what I mean?
So there's a time code below.
Correct.
We also talk for a long time, so I'm going to introduce the show now.
We're Suggestible Podcast, a podcast where we talk about many things
and review things.
I'm Claire.
James is here also.
We are married, and for some reason today we rant about the Tooth Fairy
for a long time.
That's right.
On with the show.
Jim Jam, I have a surprise for you.
Oh, no.
This doesn't sound good.
You'll like it.
You'll like it a lot.
I don't like surprises and I don't like anything,
so I don't know how this could pan out well.
All right.
I fixed your basketball ring for you.
Did you?
I did.
That is a good surprise.
How did you do it?
I told you.
I wound the thing up.
How did you do it? And I wound it all wound the thing up. How did you do it?
And I wound it all the way up.
Okay, listeners, this is not interesting to anyone else.
However, I will say we have a basketball ring in our backyard
that has two different heights.
And James got stuck at the low height for kids.
And he was like, ah, shit, I don't know what to do about this.
And then I knew it was the kind of thing that you would leave forever.
It's true.
And I was like, man, I only like doing really big dunks.
I don't like doing these small dunks.
Do you know what I mean?
Dunks?
Yeah.
When have you ever done a slam dunk?
Well, you've never seen me, but when you go to bed, I come out and do slam dunks.
Yeah, I've never seen a lot of things.
I don't see the tooth fairy either.
Just because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, Claire.
It's called faith.
It's called faith.
Do you know?
God, ever heard of him?
Okay, Jesus.
I'm not getting into existentialism right now.
What I will say on the tooth fairy, our son lost a tooth yesterday.
Yes, he did.
He's so deadpan about it too.
He just pulled it right out.
Pulled it out of his head.
Like, no worries.
Like, it's only a little bit wobbly.
He just pulls it out.
Like a serial killer.
I know.
It's really bloody impressive in a way and also
a bit terrifying. I used to let it hang on to like the very
last... Yeah, me too. Like a
thread and then sometimes I do that thing where you
tie the tooth to the doorknob. I tried
that once. It didn't work. I just banged my head on the
door.
It was
really painful and silly.
Wait, so it yanked your whole head into the
door. Was your tooth even loose?
Yeah, but I just obviously hadn't tied it properly around my teeth,
like tied it up.
I don't know how you would have done that.
It's me.
I've done a lot of things.
I broke my own arm by doing a karate kick once.
Yeah.
I fell on my own foot and broke my arm and my head.
I got a hook in my eye.
I broke my teeth on a brick.
That's true.
Okay, look, but you always say.
So you really can't believe that I would bang my head on a door.
Yeah, you're right.
It's a good point.
I just don't understand the logistics of it.
But you always say I broke my arm doing a karate kick.
Were you doing a karate kick or were you doing a regular kick?
No, I jumped up.
Okay, look, I'm not saying it looked like a karate kick,
but in my mind I jumped up to do a kick where you kick like a karate kick.
We were being like karate kids.
Yeah, but karate kids.
Were you being the Hilary Swank karate kid?
I was also in year eight, so it was probably a little old to be trying this out
in my friend's front room on carpet.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen,
I don't think I've ever told you this, my younger brother,
who's now a fully grown man, the one that Mason doesn't like.
Correct.
He, when he was a kid, he did a karate kick and he put his leg up
but then he fell and he did like the full splits.
What, like four?
By accident.
And he was fine.
Like it was fine.
It was just like the look of shock.
Like oh shit.
That's really hard to do.
Yeah, I know.
I don't think he knew he could do it.
And he probably hasn't done it since.
I wonder if he could do it now.
He definitely could.
It was a complete accident.
Anyway, this is.
I feel like though.
Yeah, this is on a side note.
I was telling a quick story about the tooth fairy.
So our son, the serial killer.
No, he's not a serial killer.
He's wonderful.
He pulled his own teeth out.
He's very kind and funny.
Anyway, we're sitting eating breakfast and deadpan.
I said, oh, mate, the tooth fairy came last night.
And he was like, yeah, she did.
She took the tooth back to her queen.
What?
No, I've never.
And I was like, so I was like, oh, I'm going to ask some more questions
about this one.
Yeah, what's this?
We've literally never talked about the tooth fairy or a queen.
So I just sort of was eating my cereal next to her.
Didn't make a big deal because if you make a big deal, it won't add to anything. I love it. So I just sort of was eating my cereal next to her. Didn't make a big deal because if you make a big deal,
it won't add to your everything.
I love it.
So I just was like, all right, so who's the queen?
And he's like, the queen of the fairies, mum.
Just deadpan, queen of the fairies.
I was like, all right.
So the queen of the fairies, is there multiple tooth fairies then?
Yes.
See, that's what I asked him.
So I was trying really hard not to like get into it.
I was like, okay, so do you mean like is the queen like the queen
of the tooth fairies or?
Like all fairies.
No, and he's like, no, mum, of all fairies.
What's the hierarchy?
Like where does the tooth fairy like in relation to like an enchanted
woodland fairy?
Look, I didn't get into that level of it because then I wanted to know
what he thought the tooth fairy was going to do with his tooth.
Yeah.
And he looked at me and just went, nah, I don't want to answer that.
And then just kept doing his way of things.
You know what, that's a really good, like I think it's a good question.
I do too.
What is it doing?
I suggested maybe she builds her house out of the teeth.
Yeah, see, that's weird.
What else is she doing with them?
A house of teeth.
Yeah, well, what else would you do with them?
A house of rotting children's teeth.
No, but they don't rot because they're like bone.
Yeah.
They're just, you know, well, why not?
Be sustainable.
She's tiny, isn't she?
Anyway, I don't know how we got off this topic.
It's really very boring to anyone else.
We are suggestible podcast.
Just get some fucking bricks, man.
Like what the fuck's wrong with you?
Make a brick house.
Who's making tiny bricks?
Then pebbles.
But, you know, if you've got a whole lot of children's teeth,
surely it's a cheaper option.
I mean, housing prices, James.
Yeah, but you're also sending people out in the world on dangerous missions
to go into people's houses and steal teeth for money.
So you're not even stealing them when really you could just use rocks.
Yeah, but I don't think the teeth, she's stealing the teeth for to build the houses.
I think she's stealing the teeth for the children and then she just happens
to also then have some teeth left over and she's like,
well, what am I going to do with all these?
I don't know, build my own palace.
She's doing the children a favour.
Correct.
She's bringing them money.
I like it.
Look, fairy is a weird thing.
Of all the fantastical like people that break into your house
and give you things, the tooth fairy is easily the strangest.
See, I don't know about that.
I disagree.
I always loved the tooth fairy.
I love it.
I bet if you really like.
It's more plausible.
It's more plausible than a bloody bunny running around with chocolate eggs
or like a scent, like an old man who somehow gets toys that are very specific
to every child in the world.
The tooth fairy, much more believable.
It's not about believability.
She only has to take a tooth and put a dollar there.
It doesn't matter.
Also, as I was carrying a sack of coins, it's not about believability.
That's not my issue with it.
It's just odd.
It's a weird thing to do.
Yeah.
Okay.
Why does it not surprise you?
And who made this up?
What the fuck?
What kind of weird?
That's the thing with all these like fables and shit people make up.
And then you just have to run with these lies to your children until they go,
what's the deal with this?
And you're like, yeah, it's bullshit.
And they're like, what?
Why?
And you're like, I don't fucking know.
It's just the thing we all agreed that we all do apparently.
We just lie to children until you figure it out.
Or you figure it out, then you don't tell us,
and then we're all lying to each other.
It's fucking insanity.
It doesn't make any sense.
Why can't it be your parents, you lost a tooth, you're getting older,
here's a fucking coin.
Click him a coin.
It's the same with presents.
You're getting older.
Here's a fucking present.
Good on you.
Have some turkey.
I don't know.
It's fucking bullshit, man.
Does it not surprise me on any level that you are of, like,
said Grinch of Christmas.
Now you're the Grinch of the tooth fairy. Man, I love the magic of it all or whatever.
Like, I enjoy that.
It's true.
However, you do know that our son knows.
What?
He knows already.
He knew when he was, like, three and a half or something.
Didn't he just say to you that Santa's not real?
Did he?
Yeah, he said to you, I know it's you, Dad.
He said it to you.
He didn't say that.
He did.
He was like three and a half because he's so like switched on and, you know,
he knows what's what.
To be fair, I figured it out really early and I just didn't tell anyone.
It's just like no one needs to know this.
I feel like he may have been humoring me about the tooth fairy.
Anyway.
Anyway, what are we doing?
That was a really very boring call so You can cut all of that out.
This is just a podcast.
This is a podcast where we review things and occasionally review the Tooth Fairy
as well, apparently.
Do a better job than Tooth Fairy.
All of children's magical, wonderful dreams.
At least if you were a fairy shop and be like, what's up?
And then you could, like, have a conversation.
That would be fucking wild.
Like, that would be amazing, right?
Yeah, but it's not real, James.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, I know.
We should put a disclaimer at the start of this if any parents are listening
with their kids.
There's so much faith like around this nonsense thing.
I just, you know what I mean?
Like India's got a.
It's the magic of childhood.
Okay, fair enough.
It's the magic of childhood.
All right, what are you up to?
All right, excellent.
So, James.
Yeah.
Did you know that this week is the beginning of December,
which introduces the most wonderful time of the year?
Have you written out a song, song lyrics?
What is this?
Yeah, so this is an ambush.
Are you really going to sing a song?
No, I'm going to make you do it.
I'm absolutely not doing this.
Yeah, baby, it's cold outside.
It's really fun.
We're going to load it up.
We're going to get everyone in the mood.
Everyone needs a bit of a buck up.
This is the PC version by John Legend, by the way.
The PC version.
It's PC gone mad.
I've highlighted, I've started highlighting it, your lyrics in yellow,
and then I stopped.
But you get the idea.
It's just the bit in the brackets.
This is for you.
This is an awful thing to do to another person.
Yeah, I know.
I love it.
All right, let's get started.
My confidence is shaken.
Oh, you have to listen.
You have to put your headphones on.
Why?
So that you can hear the backing track.
Are you sure I can't put earplugs in?
The enlistors will want to wish they could put earplugs in.
I don't actually know if I can hear this.
Let me see.
Let me play it and see if you can hear it.
Can you hear it?
What do you mean?
I cannot hear it. You're lying. I can't hear it. I don't know what to tell you. You should if you can hear it. Can you hear it? What do you mean? I cannot hear it.
You're lying.
I can't hear it.
I don't know what to tell you.
Well, you should be able to hear it.
It's the same as when we listen to people's voice memos.
Try it now.
I can't hear it.
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
Why don't you listen to it?
Well, you have to be able to.
Okay, what?
Hang on.
Let me try this.
What?
I set it all up.
There we go.
Try it now.
Okay.
Yeah, I can hear it.
Ha-ha. Excellent. There we go. Just play it now. Okay. Yeah, I can do it. Ha-ha.
Excellent.
Are we ready?
Bring some Christmas joy, James.
Absolutely will not.
Let's do it.
Oh, my God.
I love this so much.
I'm going to stuff up the start.
I don't even know when to come in.
But that's all right.
Yeah.
Big bad feels of Christmas time.
I really can't stay.
You've got to do your line. I've got to go
away. I'm going to get a
gun. This evening
has been. I wish somebody
threw me down a well. So very nice.
Time set with you is
paradise. My mother
will start to
worry. I'll call the car and tell him to hurry.
My daddy will be facing the floor.
What is he going to wait for?
So really, I'd better scurry.
Your driver, his name is Murray.
But maybe just a half a dream for.
Oh, we're both adults, so he's keeping score.
What does my friend think?
I think they should rejoice.
I think they should rejoice.
If I have one more drink.
It's your body and your choice.
Oh, you really know how to cast a spell.
One look at you and then I fail.
What's your line?
I ought to say no, no, sir.
I don't know where I'm at.
At least I'm going to say that I tried.
You're going to talk about Murray again.
I really can't stay.
I've lost where I must stay.
Baby, it's cold outside.
Okay, are you ready?
I'm not.
I'm not ready for this.
This is like when you haven't studied for a test in a dream.
And then you wake, and then you're in a class and you're naked.
Simply should go.
And they're like, it's algebra.
Text me when you get home.
Text me when...
I'm supposed to say no.
There's a line in the test. That's respectable. Gosh me when you get home. Text me when... I'm supposed to say no. There's a line in it that says, gosh, your lips look delicious.
This bathroom has been so wet and warm.
You're really screwing this up.
How am I?
My sister will be suspicious.
What?
My brother will be there at the door.
What is this about?
My gossipy neighbour's wishes.
But maybe just a cigarette more.
You know, I wish I had this.
I've got to get home.
I need to buy a cigarette.
I'll put it out on my lawn.
Say lend me your coat.
No, I'm not doing this.
You've really been grand.
Oh, don't you see?
How long is this song?
It's almost done.
Is it?
Ready?
Because it feels like it's been going my whole life.
There's not to be talk tomorrow.
At least there will be plenty of flight.
Ma'am, I really can't stay.
Baby, it's cold.
Baby, it's cold Baby, it's cold outside
Well, you thoroughly stuffed that up
and nobody's in the Christmas mood now.
Well, I hope so.
Should I have done the regular version?
Would that have helped?
Oh, you know what you could have done?
Yes.
You could have thrown me down a well, like I suggested.
That was awful. I hated that so much. Well, have thrown me down a well, like I suggested. That was awful.
I hated that so much.
Well, it was so awful because you didn't say anything.
You just kept, like, panicking.
Do you think by me attempting to sing this,
it would have made it better for me?
Yes.
I'm going to listen to this.
It would have been a Christmas gift, a Christmas miracle.
You know how you hate Halloween and watching spooky?
Yes.
This is my version of that.
I know, but I thought you would get into the spirit.
Nobody listening to this, except for people I guess who are similar to you,
would enjoy being handed lyrics to a song they don't like or know
and then being expected to sing it off the top,
especially when they cannot sing and do not want to sing.
Well, actually, someone in the Great Mates group said
that you had a beautiful singing voice.
Disagree.
This is like they used to do this thing at like the primary schools.
They always think teachers want to get involved in things.
They're like, oh, look, it's on stage.
Bring the teacher on.
And I remember once they were like, we're doing a,
I can't remember what it was.
It was some kind of, it was a song or something.
They're like, come on, you've got to come up.
I'm like, yep.
And I literally just walked out the door and I stood outside for 20 minutes.
I thought you might even at least come up with some, like,
witty things to say in between.
Between what?
Between lyrics like, I ought to say no, no, no, sir.
And then you say, you really ought to go, go, go,
because you're being PC, mate.
None of this, like, usual one where it's like, come in,
it's nice and warm,
have another drink, all the things.
My sister will be suspicious.
My brother will be there at the door.
Whose siblings are like, I'm watching who you're dating?
Get fucked.
It's none of your business.
Well, anyway.
This is a weird song and I don't like it.
I was really hoping that you would say your line,
my sister will be suspicious and then you will say, well, gosh,
your lips look delicious.
I did say that during.
I was like, what a weird lyric.
Oh, well, maybe it doesn't work.
And Colleen, you can take it out.
No, Colleen.
And I can just keep it for posterity.
Anyway, I hope that puts everyone in the Christmassy mood.
So listen, if everybody's around that, you know, you want to put on some Christmas cheer
at your family or work, holiday, party, Christmas, just throw this on.
Just put this on and people will be like, what is this?
What, the art version with you just like groaning through most of it
and panicking.
I hated that.
Oh, my God, I love that so much.
All right, listeners, I hope you know that I did that mainly just for me.
Oh, really?
No, they don't know that at all.
Oh, man, that is an absolute nightmare scenario.
Let's get on with this actual show that we're doing. That is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Are you okay? I'm not okay. Oh, man, that is an absolute nightmare scenario. Let's get on with this actual show that we're doing.
That is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Are you okay?
I'm not okay.
Oh, no.
What are we talking about?
I'm so sorry.
What are we talking about this week?
Just say funny things.
This is the second show in a row where I go.
Oh, no.
I think when you try not to laugh You gotta just laugh
You gotta just laugh
You gotta just laugh
Because that was all the things that you hate
It's everything that I hate
I don't know how you managed to do it
Alright, come on, get on with it
So I have an email
I love emails
I know, you can email the show too If you so choose I can, get on with it. So I have an email. I love emails.
I know you can email the show too if you so choose.
I'll do it right now.
No, you can't. Dear Suggestible.
Oh, God, here he goes.
Fuck you both.
Oh, jeez.
Your two woke, your opinions are different than my opinions,
and I don't like that.
We actually very rarely get any emails like that because our listeners are legends.
That's why I'm sending one.
That's why I'm sending this one.
Oh, okay, and then I can read it out. That's why I'm sending one. That's why I'm sending this one. Oh, okay.
And then I can read it out.
That's because the lunatics got to filter because they got to filter
through my YouTube channel and then they got to filter
through the weekly planner to get to here.
And they got to make it to this little tiny heartwarming pocket
of the internet.
Not that that's the only place we get audience members from
because often it's the partner of somebody who's like,
I hate the weekly planner.
They're like, well, the guy who does the weekly planner has a wife
that you would like.
So you should listen to this.
And to be fair, if you do have a said wife or husband or partner
or friend or parent that you think would love this show
because they don't get the Weekly Planet, please recommend it to them.
We would love that.
I get a few emails actually from people saying that,
that they got their partner or their brother or sister or something onto it.
But I tolerate James and Claire.
Do you like a very cynical man and a woman that's a little bit like a Muppet?
I wouldn't even argue that I'm not that cynical because sometimes I meet a person
and I'm like, fucking this guy.
My God.
No, this little secret.
This guy is a storm cloud of a human being.
Oh, my God.
That must literally be Eeyore.
You've just bumped into Eeyore.
I have bumped into Eeyore.
Okay.
Or a mirror.
Anyway, sorry, Dawn.
I can't tell if that was that funny or if I'm just really mad.
It was really funny.
Okay, here's one thing.
I will say, listeners, it's a little secret about old Jim Bob over funny. I'm funny. That's really funny. Okay, here's one thing I will say, listeners.
It's a little secret about old Jim Bob over there.
Here we go.
He's a big old softy softy.
No, I'm hard.
And he pretends he's all tough and he's all cynical and he's all,
fuck this and I don't like that and the sky's overrated.
The sky's overrated.
Actually, he's got a little softy caramely centre and he's super,
super lovely and he's a great dad. Disagree. No, it's so true. You've got a little softy caramely center and he's super, super lovely and he's a great dad.
Disagree.
No, it's so true.
You've got a big heart.
Well, I'll tell you a secret.
Covered by a lot of cynicism and coal.
Anyway, can I read this bloody email?
I would love it.
I would love it.
I would love it.
All right.
So this email is from Deanna.
Hello, my brother recently told me about your wonderful podcast.
Oh, my goodness.
I have a brother.
Oh, your brother, De Diana, is a bloody legend.
And I'm already loving listening.
Oh, my God.
On your last episode, Claire mentioned American Dirt.
And I thought you might be interested in further reading on the subject.
You would be correct.
The Beast, Riding the Rails and Dodging Narcos on the Migrant Trail by Oscar Martinez is
from a Salvadorian journalist who spent a year travelling with migrants and learning their stories.
I feel like we never really hear publishing buzz
for investigative journalism books, especially in translation,
but this is such a powerful piece.
He published in 2010 and I can only imagine what an updated piece
would be like.
Anyway, thanks for all the content, Deanna.
Oh, interesting.
So like an actual like real-life account.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, which would be brilliant because I know
there was some criticism of American Dirt for being a bit too,
I don't know.
Fictionalised.
Fictionalised and not necessarily really true of the migrant experience.
So anyway, brilliant.
I'm totally going to check that out.
Thank you, Deanna, and thank you to your wonderful brother
for recommending the show.
I really appreciate that.
Thank you to both of you.
Absolutely.
You guys are all legends.
Man, I wish I had a wonderful brother.
That'd be great.
But unfortunately, I have two very average brothers.
Not in height, though.
They're much taller than you.
Not much taller.
One is a little bit taller and one is much taller.
So I guess on average, they're both much taller.
They're both much taller than you.
But I can deadlift 110 kilo quite easily, Claire, in multiple reps.
For an old guy.
For an old guy, it's pretty good, mate.
It's inspirational.
It's very inspirational.
All right.
That's so lovely.
And you can also email us with some suggestions,
just like the wonderful Eric from Nottingham has.
Oh, my God.
Nottingham.
Eric of Nottingham.
Eric of Nottingham.
I know he sounds like he's dressed in a little Robin Hood outfit.
That's the only thing I know about Nottingham.
It's true.
I know Eric.
I love that Disney cartoon with the fox dresses.
Don't even start with that shit, please.
I don't know if you know about this.
I know.
You know I know because people keep tweeting at me about the fox dresses
made Marion.
It's because Mason is in love with the fox.
She's very beautiful.
She has lovely eyelashes.
I wouldn't know. I honestly can't see fox. She's very beautiful. She has lovely eyes. I wouldn't know.
I honestly can't see it.
It makes no sense.
Well, apparently you're into her and if she was real,
I would be in trouble.
Can I just quickly show you something?
This is something that came up in the Reddit.
There's a clip from Hey Hey It's Saturday.
Yep, that's up there.
Mason and I also talk a lot about Hey Hey It's Saturday.
I don't know if you know that.
I've seen that one where it's the guy like looking
back or something at Maid Marian.
Is it this one? I haven't
seen that one.
So for those who don't know, it's me and Maid Marian.
This is drawn in
MS Paint and we're not
in the same location but we're looking up at the
stars crying and Maid Marian
is saying, can we pretend that airplanes
in the night sky are like shooting stars?
And then I'm saying I can really use a wish right now,
which is that Rihanna song.
It's so weird and niche.
I just think that's really funny.
And also more of a reflection of the way that Mason feels
about Maid Marian.
Is that real?
What?
Does he really have a crush on Maid Marian?
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, yeah.
Fair enough.
I have a bit of a crush on the fox.
Perfect.
You guys should talk about it all the time.
He's foxy.
And they're also, I'm dreading it because they're remaking it,
but with like, you know the way they did like Zootopia?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so I'm just like, I don't want this fucking movie to come out.
The amount of people who are going to send me shit is just like.
And they can't remake that because it's just a classic.
They're going to ruin it.
They do it all.
You know what?
It's not, like, amazing as a movie either.
Like, it's okay.
Yes, it is.
I love it.
It's all right.
I love it.
No, no, no.
I totally disagree.
It is such a good movie.
It's in that weird Disney era where they didn't really know what they were doing.
No, it's so good.
There's a lot of ones that aren't so great, but that one, it's a classic.
The songs are so great.
The vibe of it is so good.
There's so many great jokes in there.
The little rabbits are so cute with the little turtles.
The little coins.
The little coins and, like, the funny, like, lion prince guy.
And I just, the snake. It's just great.
It's a real classic.
The definitive version of Robin Hood is Robin Hood,
Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner.
Everybody knows that.
Poor Eric from Nottingham.
We have hijacked his email.
What was his question?
We haven't started reading his email yet.
What have we got?
Poor Eric from Nottingham.
Should we do any letters while you're setting that up?
Should I do a review?
Well, it's all set up, but you can do your review.
That's how we traditionally do this.
That is true.
So people, they leave reviews for us if they're feeling particularly kind,
don't they?
Correct. You can do it in-app.
You open it up.
If you want to give five stars, we'd really appreciate it.
If you want to share this podcast with a friend, grab their phone,
download it.
Or your partner.
That's fine too.
Anybody you know. And don't be like, if I play it ten times, download it. Or your partner. That's fine too. Anybody you know.
And don't be like, if I play it 10 times, does it help?
No.
I don't need any of that.
I appreciate it.
No, make somebody else listen to it.
Make them.
Grab them and shake them and say, listen to this and shake them
until they agree.
Get them to subscribe.
That would be nice.
Also don't if they don't like it.
That's fine too.
But reviews also help. Like I said, in-app. This is from Matthias who says like it. That's fine too. But reviews also help.
Like I said, in-app.
This is from Matthias who says,
it's good just leaving a five-star review
so James has something to read at the end of the show.
It's true.
Appreciate it, Matthias.
But it's not the end of the show, is it?
No, because we also have a lovely audio letter.
Let's let it play.
All right, so suggestiblepod at gmail.com.
You can email in your audio letter there
with a recommendation or a story or what have you.
And this week's one is from Georgia and Lottie.
Let's do it.
Hi, Claire and James.
I'm Georgia.
And I'm Lottie.
And we are a couple of queers from Cardiff,
a couple of gays about town, here with a suggestible for you.
Recently I watched the BBC series series two-part series called three families about
um changing the the strict abortion law in northern ireland and it was really good and i
really enjoyed it um and also side note uh we made the lemon pie from claire's uh newsletter Claire's newsletter last week and hmm, not sure if it was
my fault but
it did not go very well.
I was suspicious
from the get go. I thought there's no way
that this is going to turn out to be a lemon pie
and well, I was
correct. So
make that recipe if
you really want some lemony scrambled
eggs, I guess.
We shall be making a different recipe lemon pie next week.
We'll update you in due course.
Love the show.
Have a great day.
Love you.
Bye.
For a second, I thought it was a real conversation.
I was going to be like, oh, you're welcome.
Thanks.
Oh, no, they're not here.
Oh, Georgia and Lottie.
I'm so sorry. Okay, so I have a disclaimer. Thanks. Oh, no, they're not here. Oh, Georgia and Lottie. I'm so sorry.
Okay, so I have a disclaimer to make.
What are you looking at?
Whose fault is this?
It's totally mine.
Why is it your fault?
All right, okay.
Two prongs.
Two prongs to this apology.
One, if you don't read my newsletter, you bloody should.
Anyway, that wasn't one of my prongs.
That was me just yelling at you.
So my newsletter comes out every Friday,
and I have a recipe that goes with each one.
Sure.
And normally...
Where can you sign up for that?
There's a link in the bio.
Excellent.
In the show notes.
And you can also just find it on my Instagram bio too.
There's a link there.
You can sign up.
Just be careful.
Sometimes the confirmation email goes to spam.
So just check your spam.
Check your spam.
Anywho, so yes, back to Georgia and the beautiful Lottie.
Georgia's not beautiful?
No.
And also, I'm so very clever and smart.
Beautiful Georgia and Lottie.
So I put 25 minutes down because I'd handwritten the Lemon Impossible Pie
in my scrapbook and I didn't write in the time.
And I just scratched my head and went, I'm pretty sure it's 25 minutes. And I was in the time and I just I just scratched my head I went I'm pretty
sure it's 25 minutes and I was in a hurry and I just wrote in 25 minutes but then when I went
back and looked it up which I should have done it's actually an hour oh my god so you just made
yeah no wonder it turned out like lemon I know do you reckon they're gonna do you reckon you've
broken the trust and they're gonna give it another go I go. I hope so. I think they should. I think they should.
It's also your mum's recipe. Don't blame my mum for your mistake. How dare you? There is also,
I am actually in this week's newsletter going to put in another recipe for lemon impossible pie,
if they want to try that one, because it's got, it's slightly different and you actually have to
whip the egg whites. Because the reason it's lemon impossible pie is that you put all the
ingredients together and then it bakes and it comes up with like a sort of pastry-esque layer,
a filling, and then a crisp layer on top. The other prong to my apology is that it's not going
to be like a lovely lemon pie that you would like a lemon meringue pie. It's like a quick fix. It's
a quick fix. It only takes 25 minutes to bake. An hour, an hour, an hour. Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway.
Anyway, yeah.
So it's not going to be like a British incredibly amazing lemon meringue pie. It's no British bake-off situation.
No, but it is a good weeknight impossible pie.
Sure.
Kind of pudding, lemon pudding.
Anyway, Georgia and Lottie, you guys sound bloody awesome.
We think you're top.
Yeah, thanks for calling in.
Are you still there?
Hang on, no, it's not real.
I forgot.
I forgot again.
Cool.
Excellent.
Well, I have a fun voice memo that I thought you might want to listen to.
I don't have my headphones, Claire.
Sorry, why don't you just put mine on?
I've already heard it.
Or you mean mine on?
Yeah.
There you go, my friend.
I'm sure I'm passing you the headphones on this audio medium.
I presume you've listened to this.
I have listened to it already.
Have you plugged it into the computer?
I have.
I've done all the things.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Hello, James and Claire.
How are you guys doing?
Still at 40%.
That is great to hear.
I'm less.
My name is Tristan and I just recently got hired as a paramedic in Canada,
which is very exciting and also terrifying at the same time.
You guys will definitely be helping me stay awake during my drives home
for my night shifts to make sure I don't crash into the ditch.
So here's a question for you two.
Even though you two have very different interests,
what are some activities you guys like doing together?
Claire, I love the new podcast.
Your first guest was super amazing and super interesting to listen to.
And I hope to spark those conversations with my friends
when I get to see them after this bloody lockdown ends.
Anyways, you guys are great, and here's a five-second guitar solo
that completely made up, completely original.
Just enjoy.
I'm going to get a guitar solo.
Top of my head, you know, super original.
All right, see you guys.
That's the Becca theme, Claire.
I don't even know what that is.
Is this show Becca from the 90s with Ted Danson?
Oh, yes.
Mason and I have been doing a lot of Becca talk recently on the podcast,
but that was great.
Thanks, Tristan.
All of that was really cool.
Oh, it was so lovely.
Tristan, what a legend.
And what are some activities that we do?
Did he say together?
Together, yeah.
Yeah, what do we do together?
I like walking.
So we both kind of like walking.
But it's harder with a baby.
We find it harder to do things together.
One will be like, okay, you watch the kids and I'll go and do a thing
or whatever or vice versa.
But no, that's one thing I like doing together.
Yeah, going for a bushwalk and taking the pram and the dog and getting out.
Or not even.
Not even.
Which never happens.
But that's often what we do even if like we do get my mum
or your parents to babysit.
We'll go out for dinner and they go for a walk.
Yeah, that's true.
We just like walking together, hey.
And we used to like running together when we ran.
Yes, but I don't run as much anymore because I'm doing different forms
of cardio.
I'm trying to keep my knees intact.
Intact.
I know, me too.
The other thing, I actually just really love doing this show.
Yeah, me too.
We get to sit down together.
I know.
We used to watch a lot of movies together, like at the cinemas
because you worked at the cinemas so we'd just kind of see.
There was like with Mason I'd see the movie Paycheck, for example,
but with you like we'd go watch some art whatever.
Art house film. No, in a good go watch some art whatever. Art house film.
No, in a good way.
It was good.
I loved it.
And, yeah, so we used to do a lot of that.
We did.
And, you know, the other thing we love to do, which we haven't done
because pandemic and babies got in the way, we go for a really lovely,
like full-on lovely dinner.
Fuck yeah.
Like a delicious dinner and a few cocktails in the city or something.
Yeah.
And just splash out on a big fancy dinner, which we don't do very often.
Last week we managed to get out, which was good.
We did.
We went and had Vietnamese and that was so good.
I can't decide if it was so good because it was just so good
or whether because we just never do it.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter either way.
But you posted a picture from it on your Instagram.
I did.
I did.
Just thanking you as well for just being generally awesome.
Yeah.
And also, did you appreciate the wordplay on the Foe King?
Well, yes, I did.
That was the name of the place that we went to.
And yes, I very much did.
Exactly.
No, it was very good.
But, yeah, that's kind of what we do.
And thank you, Tristan.
That cheered me right up, that voice memo.
Anyway, yeah, thank you so much.
And you can also get a voice memo on the show just in-app.
Send it to suggestapod.gmail.com.
Or a regular email.
Or just a regular one too.
But we have to read it in a funny voice.
Tell us what kind of funny voice you want us to read your email in.
Correct.
It could be Cockney.
Hello, Weekly Planet.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
And now all of the British listeners have turned on.
I don't know if you're familiar with our Tom Holland impersonation
who plays Spider-Man.
Hello, I'm Tom Holland.
No, it's like this, hello, I'm Tom Holland.
No, I can't post it.
Hello, I'm Tom Holland.
Oh, Mr. Feige, don't fire me from Spider-Man, please.
Don't send me back up the chimney.
That's not what he sounds like.
We just think it's really funny that he's like a little British boy.
I do know that.
I'm just trying to navigate Hollywood.
It's our favourite bit.
I've seen that in the animation.
Yeah.
I love that.
I love that so much.
All right.
I've got some doozy letters, but I'll save them.
Your turn.
Review.
I'm happy to do this right now because this is more about a review for the show.
And I'll tell you this much, Claire, it's the best thing you can do in life is review this show.
It is.
It's good karma.
Everyone needs some karma.
Call your parents, your loved ones, give this podcast a review.
Just do it in app.
It's as easy as that.
It really helps.
This is from Monarch Music who says, may I suggest?
Great pod.
Love you guys.
But an idea for an episode of Suggestible where instead of suggesting movies to others to watch or read, you can bring Maceo.
I forgot how to spell his name.
No, you got it.
And some of Claire's friends and you guys suggest him people to date.
Two smiley faces.
Look, I wouldn't want to get into the personal life of one Nick Mason.
But, you know, so that's just we probably won't do that.
I'd imagine.
No. Maybe single,. I don't know.
Maybe he's single.
Maybe he isn't.
Who knows?
Who knows with that dude?
Maybe he's married.
Maybe he's got his own family.
Maybe he does.
We don't know.
He just turns up like a little sprite every week.
Exactly.
He sprites away.
Actually, we do have a suspicion that he lives in our garden
on a little toadstool.
With a little hat and a little pipe.
Yes, that's right.
Yeah, he would.
I could see him doing that.
I reckon our son thinks he's a little bit magical.
Why's that?
Because he's very funny and I think he turns up all the time
and he's just like, ooh, this little man coming in.
He's coming in.
He's coming in.
He's awesome.
Not that small, by the way.
No, he's not.
No, he's definitely not small at all.
But he's great and we love him
and he's excellent. And he made us
a plate of, like he
stayed for dinner and made
a face out of his food. He did. And our son
loved it. He had a good time.
He did. Alright, that's it.
Yes, and or you can just write
us a letter because we love that too.
Yeah, we're big fans. Yeah, so hit subscribe in all your podo apps and rate and review.
That would be awesome too.
And we've been Chessful Pods.
That's right.
That's it from us this week.
What do you think we'll do next week?
Do you think anything exciting will happen?
Based on our previous lives, probably not.
Interesting.
Got anything off of the week?
Actually, it's 2021.
Who bloody knows what will happen.
Martians might land by next week.
Well, didn't they capture footage of a UFO recently or whatever?
Yeah.
What I love about it is now they're like, you know,
there might be UFOs and everyone's like, who cares?
Fuck off.
Like nobody cares.
I don't care at all.
Aliens.
Is there?
All right.
I don't care.
I don't care.
Yeah, but this is there? All right. I don't care. I don't care.
Yeah, but this is the thing.
There isn't much that you would say you cared about.
Yeah.
You know, it would be a very, like, big move from your standard character if you went, aliens, how interesting.
Look, man, if they came down and there was a picture
and one of them had a press conference or whatever,
I'd probably scroll through Twitter to see what was going on
and what hashtags were trending.
And then I'd be like, this is a marketing campaign or something.
Do you know what I mean?
I call total bullshit.
Me and Maud together are calling bullshit on you today.
Again, I don't care what Maud says.
Tell Maud to shut her mouth.
I'm not interested in her opinions.
Now they're going to be like, who are we talking about?
No, I call total BS on that, Jim Jam.
You know why?
Why?
Because you love space.
You love space with the cool, like, no, with a burning passion.
Space isn't like that, though.
Like a little boy holding a packet of chips.
No, space isn't.
You love it.
I like sci-fi, real space.
There's nothing out there, mate, like nothing close.
Can we get the quote?
Can we get the quote?
There's something out there obviously.
Just move it right to NASA and say don't worry about it anymore.
James said there's nothing out there.
I don't think there's going to be like a green man in like a white jumpsuit
who's going to come down and be like, join the Galactic Federation
and here's bloody interstellar travel or whatever.
But is that what you want?
Yeah, something cool. If he just comes down and is like, I'm a squid Federation and here's bloody interstellar travel or whatever. But is that what you want? Yeah, something cool.
If it just comes down as like I'm a squid and I'm from like great squid, man,
that's really interesting.
Go back to the fucking ocean world you live in.
So what you're saying, so you don't think there's going to be
like an interesting life form?
No, because unless there is the theory that humans are actually, you know,
aliens as well.
That would make a lot of sense.
I was reflecting again today on how bad we are for the planet. Anyway. theory that humans are actually, you know, aliens as well. That would make a lot of sense.
I was reflecting again today on how bad we are for the planet anyway.
Yeah, or primates are, I guess, you know, a species that arrived.
Isn't that that theory about octopuses as well?
Yeah, but I don't think that's, I think that's just because they're just so incredibly amazing.
The situation that we, like, evolved to on this planet,
it's so unlikely for it to happen and let alone
happen within like shouting distance of another planet you know what i mean like it's so specific
and random or god did it whatever that like it would be unlikely that someone comes down and
is like hello my name's i'm just like you're supposed to green head or whatever it's just not
likely to happen.
That being said, 2021, maybe that will happen and people will message me like,
you idiot.
There's a guy who came down, he spoke English, he had a galactic space gun
and everybody, whatever.
At this point, that's my theory.
That's where I'm at.
It never occurred to me that you would just really secretly love it if, like,
there were parallel universes and an alien came down in a proper spaceship
with a proper helmet to like welcome you back to his home planet.
I don't want none of that.
I don't want to go to your weird home planet.
I don't care.
Yeah, you do.
No, I don't.
I don't want to go to space.
I don't even want to go to France again, let alone space.
Hello, everybody.
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Suggestible Best Of.
We certainly do. That's what we think. We also think we'll episode of Suggestible Best Of. We certainly do.
That's what we think.
We also think we'll be back on about the 27th of January.
I didn't give the people what they want, which is bing bongs,
so I'll do them now.
Bing bong, bing bongs to you.
Oh, Colleen's would have put in a bunch of bing bongs, I'd reckon.
I reckon that's what he's done.
Yeah, thank you again to him for doing this wonderful edit.
Thank you to everybody for listening.
We hope you can stick around for 2022.
My goodness, can you believe it 2022. My goodness. Can you believe
it's 2020 part two? Can you believe it? Can't. Can't believe anything. I'm too old. I'm an old
lady. Who knows what this year has in store? Hopefully nothing. All right. Thanks, everybody.
See you on the 27th-ish, maybe. Maybe. Bye. Bye. I really can't stay. You've got to do your line.
Bye.
Bye.
I really can't stay.
You've got to do your line. Oh, baby.
I've got to go away.
I'm going to get a gun.
This evening has been.
I wish somebody threw me down a well.
So very nice.
Time spent with you is paradise.
Oh, paradise.
My mother will start to worry.
I'll call the car, tell him to hurry.
My daddy will be facing the floor.
Where's the other way? So really, I'd better scurry. worry. I'll call the car, tell him to hurry. My daddy will be facing the floor.
So really I'd better scurry. Your driver, his name
is Murray. But maybe just to have
a drink. Oh, we're both
adults, so he's keeping score. What do my friends
think? I think they should rejoice.
I think they should rejoice. If I have one more
drink. It's your body and your choice.
Oh, you really know
how to cast a spell.
One look at you and then I fail.
What's your line?
I ought to say no, no, sir.
I don't know where I'm at.
At least I'm going to say that I tried.
You're going to talk about Murray again.
I really can't stay.
I've lost where I'm at.
Baby, it's cold outside.
Okay, are you ready?
I'm not.
I'm not ready for this.
This is like when you haven't studied for a test in a dream.
And then you wake, and then you're in a class and you're naked.
Simply should go.
And they're like, it's algebra.
Text me when you get home.
Text me when...
I'm supposed to say no.
There's a line in the test.
That's disrespectful.
Gosh, your lips look delicious.
This welcome has been
a slow, bad, and warm.
You're really
screwing this up. How am I?
My sister will be
suspicious. What?
My brother will be there at the
door. What is this about?
My gossipy neighbour's
vicious.
But maybe just a cigarette more.
You know, I've got to get home.
I need a bite of cigarette.
I'll put it out of my eye.
Say lend me your coat.
No, I'm not doing this.
You've really been grand.
Oh, don't you see?
How long is this song?
It's almost done.
Is it?
Ready?
Because it feels like it's been going my whole life.
Tomorrow.
At least there will be plenty of flight.
Man, I really can't stay.
Baby, it's cold.
Baby, it's cold outside.
Well, you thoroughly stuffed that up and nobody's in the Christmas mood now.
Well, I hope so.
Should I have done the regular version?
Would that have helped?
Oh, you know what you could have done?
Yes.
You could have thrown me down a well, like I suggested.
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