Suggestible - Best of Suggestible 2022

Starting point is 00:00:00 We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures, or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. It's me, Claire. Join us at yorku. You're up, Wade. Okay. Claire, what are we doing here? What is this? James, I'm sick of constantly doing what we do on Suggestible every week, which is suggest stuff to each other, I guess, poems and that. Yep. And you're not asleep in the other room and Mason just happens to be here and we need an intro. That's not what's happening?

Starting point is 00:01:01 You're this close to a divorce, mate. Oh, no. I'm filing the paperwork, mate. This is just how Claire talks to me. This is very typical of you. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? Because it's me, Claire. Anyway. I'm sick of it, so I've decided this week we'll just put out a best of. Okay.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Yeah. That's fine then? Yeah, I reckon. Great. Then we'll do – there'll be an outro or whatever, and this will resolve itself, this thing, right? It might have bloody resolved itself in the family court, mate. I'd tell you that much.

Starting point is 00:01:30 All right. Colleagues put together this best of. Let's roll the tape. It's digital. It's not a physical tape, is it, Claire? Is it? This idiot. This bloke's an idiot.

Starting point is 00:01:42 Bing bong, ba-da-ba-bing, bing bong, bada bing bing bong. Enough of your nonsense. Podcasting is the most serious of art forms. I don't like the way you make a mockery of it. This is my art. I'm not mockerying. What are you doing? You're holding a bottle of diet soft drink. This is an audio medium. Don't be doing any visual shenanigans. This wasn't for you This is for me Because it's got sediment in the bottom And I'm mixing it up

Starting point is 00:02:08 Alright okay Anyway let's get on with things Hello Nothing but professionalism This is Suggestible Podcast A podcast where we recommend you things To watch, read and listen to My name is Claire Chanty

Starting point is 00:02:17 James Clement is here also What up dog Oh no please What do you mean Please not My favourite thing to say Please don't To our son is, what up, dog? It's your boy, Dad.

Starting point is 00:02:31 He is starting to really take on board your mannerisms. I think he did one of those things where, you know, when you feel like, my dad, like, what's the answer for breakfast or whatever? And it's like, my dad always says, and he wrote, what up, dog? It's your boy, Dad. Yeah, he did. James, how do we begin? How are you?

Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm fine. How's your hair situation? It's shorter. I know. I really like it. A video went out this week where my hair was longer in the video. People said, maybe, maybe I drank an old Pepsi. I don't want to spoil that video.

Starting point is 00:03:01 It's on the Phantom Menace marketing campaign. I can't believe you did that. Getting a lot of comments Phantom Menace marketing campaign. I cannot believe you did that. Getting a lot of comments on my hair, Claire. A lot of positive word of mouth. I'm waiting for you to suddenly grow like a weird gross out of my head. No, man. I'm not going to die. Do you know why?

Starting point is 00:03:14 Why? Because I'm going to die in a much stupider way. All right. Well, we're all going to die, James. I mean, drinking an old can of Pepsi is pretty stupid, but I think I can do something even stupider. Yeah, like to be fair, respect Steve Evans, an incredible person. He definitely died how he lived.

Starting point is 00:03:26 Yep. With a stingray straight to the heart. I reckon I'm going to like be walking across a bridge and I'll fart and I'll fall off. Like it'll propel me slightly and I'll fall. Yep, I could see that. And then I'll have to tell people that I just fell, but you'll always know.

Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah, of course. That I did a big fart. Your farts always sound a little bit like someone stepped on a duck as well. And they're quite cheerful, like trumpety. Ah! Yeah. Sonny's also doing his thing at the moment. I don't know what to do about it.

Starting point is 00:03:52 He's farting and then like using his hands to propel the stench towards me. And he's doing it with this like funny little face. And I just don't know if he's going to go to someone else's house and slash his teacher. I think it's just kids that just do a bunch of that shit. I don't know. And he's going to go to someone else's house slash his teacher. I think it's just kids that just do a bunch of that shit. I don't know. And he's going to fart and, like, propel us at my teacher, at his teacher or at a friend's house.

Starting point is 00:04:12 I always say to him, like, it's fine to do it here, but don't be farting at other people's houses at the dinner table and blowing it in their face. Put on normal person manners when you go somewhere else, which is what I do, to be fair. Yeah, that is true. All right. Shall we get started? Not this dilly-dally. Would you like me to kick off this what I do, to be fair. Yeah, that is true. All right. Shall we get started?

Starting point is 00:04:26 Not this dilly-dally. Would you like me to kick off this week? Yes, kick it off. Kick it off. We've got two time-travelling shows this week to recommend, Claire. That is one of your other loves, isn't it? I do love a good time-travelled tale. Do you secretly want to time-travel?

Starting point is 00:04:39 No, Claire, I've talked about this. I don't want the responsibility or the ramifications of a time-travel. Even if you time travelled even slightly, even if you just popped into whatever era, all it would take was to like some kind of knock-on effect where there would be a different sperm and then everything's out. You throw one person out by a different sperm. Are you saying like because a different sperm as in like you would have sex

Starting point is 00:05:00 with someone and that would be a different sperm? No, I'm saying you could shove somebody and it would probably mean that if they would have a child, they would have sex with someone and that would be different sperm. No, I'm saying you could shove somebody and it would probably mean that if they would have a child, they would have a different sperm or they would knock somebody else who would then have this. So what you're assuming is, is biologically accurate that you've got sperm inside you that's just like rattling around and if someone pushes you slightly, the sperm. It's highly unlikely that Marty McFly went back in time, right,

Starting point is 00:05:26 and still managed to be born, seeing as he fully interacted with his parents, interrupted all sorts of erections and rejections, Claire, and as a result of that he was still born. Not still born. He was still managed to be born. Yes. Impossible, Claire.

Starting point is 00:05:42 It's an impossible situation. Could you just phrase ejections and erections? You heard me. Ejections and erections. Unless, of course. Rejections and erections. There we go. I've got it.

Starting point is 00:05:54 Third time lucky. Unless, of course, and we don't know this concerning time travel, unless everything has a predetermined path, in which case that time travel was always supposed to happen. I see. But the idea of Back to the Future is that you're changing the past, but then again maybe there are predetermined points of history and people that are supposed to be born.

Starting point is 00:06:12 Anyways. Oh, goodness. I just don't think you understand sperm because I think it's not what the position of the sperm is. It's the quality of the sperm. Yes, I know, but you'd have to get to have. And being rattled around. But each of us, every single person, even through IVF or whatever, It's the quality of the sperm. Yes, I know, but you'd have to get to have. And being rattled around a bit is not going to affect that.

Starting point is 00:06:29 But each of us, every single person, even through IVF or whatever, won some kind of sperm race. This is what I'm saying. But I'm saying that could easily be interrupted. The sperm that wins, maybe it was just the best one on the day. Maybe you just happened to be swimming in a certain direction when things happened. No, it's the speed. It's the quality.

Starting point is 00:06:44 It's the quality of each individual sperm. Yeah, but one gets through. And if you put through a different sperm, you'd get a different child. Yeah, I know. But what you're saying, okay, the premise of your, I can't believe we're talking about this, but the premise of your whole thing was that someone got pushed by someone who had time travelled.

Starting point is 00:07:02 And because they were pushed slightly, the sperm in their balls rattled around and therefore a different sperm wins the race. Yes. For the egg. Yes. At a certain point after they've been pushed, they then go and have a shag. Because every single, there's a knock-on effect for that. Yes, but what I'm saying to you is I don't think a push

Starting point is 00:07:22 can change the sperm that wins. You thought I would fart myself off a bridge. So I don't think you know the power of a push. I'm no expert. I'm no doctor. But I will say I'm an expert. I think it's about the quality of the sperm. And that is a bit like saying like there's a group of runners.

Starting point is 00:07:41 If you push someone over slightly and then they start their race, they're still gonna run and the person that wins is gonna just be the fastest it says here that in each milliliter of sperm there is approximately 100 million of them in there right what so you're telling me that cannot be right that's that does not sound right. That's so much. 100 million sperms? Yeah. What? That can't be right in one ejaculation. A fertile male human ejaculates between 2 and 5 milliliters of semen on average, or on average a teaspoon.

Starting point is 00:08:15 In each milliliter there is normally about 100 million sperm. If the concentration falls below 20 million sperm per milliliter So you have to win a race You have to win a race. 100 million sperm. You have to beat 100 million other sperm. Impossible, Claire.

Starting point is 00:08:32 Each of us shouldn't be here. It doesn't make any sense. That's insane. I know. That's insane. Even if it was 10,000, even if it was 100, it would still be incredibly difficult. I know.

Starting point is 00:08:45 So what you're saying is that 100 million, that the push will affect it. I don't think so. I just think it will be like who's the fastest, sperm in there. Exactly, who's the fastest, but it all depends on also starting position. But they all got pushed at the same time. No, no, but there's also starting. They're not frozen exactly in the same spot. They're swimming around in there. I thought they were in a little starting line. No, they, but there's also starting, they're not frozen exactly in the same spot. They're swimming around in there.

Starting point is 00:09:05 I thought they were in a little starting line. No, they're ducking and diving, Claire. And there's no trial. They're not lined up in order of speed. Every now and then a bad sperm gets through as well. You see a guy and you're like, this guy sucks. It could be a bad sperm situation. It's a Stephen Bradbury of sperms, who I love, by the way,

Starting point is 00:09:24 but everyone else falls down and that sperm gets there. $100 million. Yeah. The chance of us existing is so minuscule. It's ridiculous. Enjoy your bloody lives, guys. It's a fucking fluke that you hear it all. Yep.

Starting point is 00:09:37 Stop getting miserable. No, you're allowed to be miserable. Nobody chose to be born. You can be miserable. That's fine. Man, $100 million. $100,000. What is it?

Starting point is 00:09:45 100 million. And that's only in one shot. Apparently. But again, even if that's way off, this is what Google says. But even if it's like. Wow. Also, wear those condom-y things if you're. Oh, wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:09:58 You know. It says here, animal, average number of sperm per ejaculate. A man, it says 280 and then a pig, it says 80. So is it much lower than a man? What? Is it possible that on this show we're not experts and we're leading people very astray? Yes.

Starting point is 00:10:15 I feel like we've ventured far out of our knowledge territory. For the nearly 5,000 sperm that make it to the utero-tubal junction. I thought 5,000. No, no, for the who make it. A thousand of them reach the inside of the fallopian tube. From there, a thousand sperm entering the tube, only 200 actually reach the egg. In the end, one lucky sperm out of 200 penetrates the egg.

Starting point is 00:10:35 Going back, how many initially in the- I think it's still that millions of things that I said. 100 million. Yeah. That is like insane amount. They must be so tiny. Yes. Well, they are.

Starting point is 00:10:47 Yes. You know, gosh, you learn something new every day. You certainly do. Anyway, should I continue this thing that I was talking about? Yeah, we should get back to the thing we were actually discussing. Do you remember the book The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger? I did read that and I also remember the film. Yes.

Starting point is 00:11:04 With Bruce Banner. With Bruce Banner. With Bruce Banner. What's his name? Oh, now you've thrown me off. Eric Banner and Rachel McAdams. Correct. I just did a Portmanteau. You did.

Starting point is 00:11:13 And I have one of his famous characters and his name. Correct. So that was actually, that was a 2003 book. It was adapted into a 2009 movie. I've seen bits and pieces of it. It's not great. I've read the book. It's not great. I've read the book. It's pretty good.

Starting point is 00:11:26 I remember it being quite good. Have you read the book? Yes, I have. I just said to you I had. Okay, great. The sperm didn't win in your race. That's certainly true. Just look at me.

Starting point is 00:11:34 Look at my brothers and look at me. Anyway, I'm cunning. I'm like a rat. That's my skill. You were born with webbed feet. Jeez. Actually, people, I did mention my feet the other day. People were like, what's wrong with these feet?

Starting point is 00:11:49 Tell us about your feet. I'll never tell. Anyways, so the second adaptation, there's a second adaptation of this. They're basically like the feet in that movie Luca. That's right. And you still are a bad swimmer. I'm a terrible swimmer. It's my short arms, Claire.

Starting point is 00:12:06 I'm not built for swimming. I'm built for winning a sperm race. Anyways, so there's a second. She's broken. I broke you. Or you broke yourself. I don't know. Sperm race. Anyways. I got my little boots on. I'm getting ready to go. I don't know. Spam race.

Starting point is 00:12:26 Anyway. I got my little boots on. I'm getting ready to go. I'm getting better. Imagine if you're the second spam that misses. You don't know, though. There's no consciousness there. They're all wiggling at the little egg and then suddenly one goes boop

Starting point is 00:12:40 and cracks it. I know. And that's it. That's over. Sometimes two, sometimes more. That is true. But, yeah, generally. God. And that's it. That's over. Sometimes two, sometimes more. That is true. But yeah, generally. God, you wouldn't, how you'd be devastated.

Starting point is 00:12:49 A hundred million. You know you wouldn't be because you don't exist. You're nothing. I don't know. You're not like a person driving a little spacecraft in there. How do you know? Well, that was the thing. I think we both had this conversation.

Starting point is 00:13:00 We've got to get on with this. We do. We both had this conversation where I think we both had the idea that the sperm is the person and the egg is like the house when we were kids. Anyway, that was recently debunked for us, wasn't it? Correct. Massively. No. Oh, my gosh.

Starting point is 00:13:14 Anyways. All right. What's your next recommendation? All right. Okay. We're running like a very long time. Anyway, I have two recommendations. This time, this episode is a tale of two Marthas, James.

Starting point is 00:13:24 Oh, my God. I know. I've got two two Marthas, James. Oh, my God. I know. I've got two different Marthas to recommend. Why did you say that name? Was it really the name? Why did you say that name? It's from Batman v Superman. Because it turns out that Superman's mother's name is Martha.

Starting point is 00:13:37 No. And Batman's mother's name, guess what? Martha. Also Martha. What? And that's a big turning point, the crux of that movie. Wow. Is when Batman's going to stab Superman with a big kryptonite spear

Starting point is 00:13:48 and Superman goes, save Martha. And he goes, why did you say that name? It's really funny. It's like it's supposed to be like dramatic and emotional. And they find like there's a connection where Batman realises like, oh, my God, just like me, he's got a mother. But it's really just like this is a strange scene. That's so weird.

Starting point is 00:14:08 And why would the writers make their mothers both called Martha? And why does that mean that they would like each other more? Clearly they both had mothers. Everyone has a mother. Because Batman wasn't recognising the humanity in Superman. He was like he's an alien and if there's a 1% chance that he could destroy the planet, I've got to stab this guy with a kryptonite spear. Hang on, hang on.

Starting point is 00:14:25 Pause. Is Martha the alien mother or the regular Earth mother? No, why would his alien mother be called Martha? I don't know. What's her name? Minkleton. Oh, my God. That's a great question.

Starting point is 00:14:37 What is her mother's name? His father's name is Kal-El and her name is. Well, isn't this just always the way? Yeah. Women don't even get a bloody name. And you know Kal-El and he's always showing up in a cave. Is she getting to show up in the cave? No. Inequality.

Starting point is 00:14:55 Okay. She did get to show up in the Superman sequels because Marlon Brando got written out of them. So they just went, who else do we have? Okay. Well, the woman that doesn't have a name apparently. Exactly. I thought you knew everything about Superman and Superman X-Men. Well, the woman that doesn't have a name apparently. Exactly. I thought you knew everything about Superman and Superman X-Men. Lara.

Starting point is 00:15:08 I did know that. Her name's Lara. Lara. That's like a regular name. He gets a school space name. So she could be called Martha? Yeah, but Martha's not a space name, is it? Oh, I guess Lara's like Lara Croft.

Starting point is 00:15:18 What did you say that name? Well. You should watch Batman v Superman one day. I know I have to. Now that I've opened up this can of worms of Martha's. It goes for four hours. I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha now. Arthur Curry.

Starting point is 00:15:33 Aquaman's real name. Anyway. Did you know that? No, I did not. Would you laugh if I did? That would make it really weird. I would be very surprised. Because I don't really remember anything.

Starting point is 00:15:42 It is strange, though, when you look at, like, Jason Momoa is Aquaman and you're like, his name in the movie is Arthur. Like, it doesn't fit. God, it's almost like these movies are dumb. What? What did you say? Come at me.

Starting point is 00:15:55 Why did you say that? I'm sick of them. I said it to you in the kitchen and you were like, don't say that to anyone on the internet because it's our job. But you asked me if I'd seen the Thor movie. No. And I was like, I can't even remember. You said that because we had the Thor trailers this week.

Starting point is 00:16:08 And I liked Thor Ragnarok. And even then, I just can't be doing it anymore. I feel like there are more pressing things. I need to listen to more depressing things. I understand. You've got to listen to depressing things about the climate or whatever you do. Correct.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Exactly. Listen to the daily podcast. What's that thing? All right. So the two Martha's. I'm so excited. Okay. So this is the week of alliteration for me.

Starting point is 00:16:27 Why do you say that, Claire? Okay, because this potentially might be one of the best books I've ever read. Oh, what's it called? A friend of mine, Jess, recommended it to me. It's called Sorrow and Bliss, and it's by Meg Mason. Wait, I thought you said there was going to be Martha in it. There is. Hold on to your hat.

Starting point is 00:16:41 Okay. The main character's name is Martha. How did you say that name? Why did you say that name? You've got to see the image of it. He's wearing a big Batman helmet. He's got a big spear. I'm putting it out there.

Starting point is 00:17:07 It's dumb. Yeah, no, it is. Everybody knows that. It's so dumb. I know some people take that very seriously. I know. I'm sorry if I've offended you. It is very funny.

Starting point is 00:17:19 What I love is that they're so serious. Yeah, I know. They're so serious. That's one of the things I love about, like, the Zack Snyder Superman or Batman know. It's so serious. That's one of the things I love about like the Zack Snyder Superman and Batman movies. They're very serious. And there's a guy in a bat suit.

Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah. It's like Ben Affleck and he's 46 years old. He's screaming. It's really good. Oh, who, by the way, is now engaged to J-Lo. Congratulations to them. They're engaged. Yep.

Starting point is 00:17:42 Get the fuck out of here. I did not see that. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Wow. Late in life romance. Kind of mirroring that movie that I watched where she was starring recently. Is it – what's that movie, Marry Me? Did I talk about that?

Starting point is 00:17:53 Yeah, you did. Yeah. With Owen Wilson. I loved it. It was great. I watched that while I was delirious and sick. It was a perfect thing to watch. Okay, anyway.

Starting point is 00:18:00 Back to the book. My book. Can I get back to the book? Please. Yeah. Yeah, I just cannot recommend it enough. So, yeah, it's Sorrow and Bliss. I just want to give it to everybody I know.

Starting point is 00:18:11 That's awesome. Yeah, it's one of those and it's just so beautiful. I've got a quote if you want me to read it. Oh, my God, I love quotes. All right, this is sort of. You know what my favorite quote is though? Why did you say that, Sarah? It's the greatest quote in cinematic history I don't know if I can read my quote now

Starting point is 00:18:30 God I always choose such fucking depressing things No that's good Our review is about how depressing you are That I got this week It's so fucking depressing I just realised I'm looking at this quote going God this is so depressing.

Starting point is 00:18:45 Nah, let's go. All right. Everyone likes what they like. That's right. And it's because I'm quite cheerful in my natural disposition. I actually love really depressing dark things, whereas you, in your natural demeanour, are quite, you know. I'm horrible.

Starting point is 00:18:59 Cynical and horrible, except you actually just really love laughing at dumb things. It's true. So, you know, I feel like you probably are doing you better. But anyway, here we go. Let's soldier on with my depressing quote. Martha, you said afterwards lying next to me, everything is broken. Wow.

Starting point is 00:19:19 Is that the quote? Is that the whole quote? Fuck, why'd you pick that? I was sick when I chose this quote. Yeah. All right, let me read it again. I can't get through this now. Everything is broken and messed up and completely fine,

Starting point is 00:19:34 and that is what life is. It's only the ratios that change, usually on their own. As soon as you think that's it, it's going to be like this forever, they change again. That is what life was and how it continued for three years after that. The ratios changing on their own. Broken, completely fine. A holiday, leaking pipe, new sheets, happy birthday. A technician between nine and three, a bird flew into the window. I want to die. Please. Jesus. I can't breathe. I think it's a lunch thing. I love you.

Starting point is 00:20:06 I can't do this. Both of us thinking it would be like that forever. It's a pretty depressing question. That is pretty depressing. You ain't kidding. I know. So. Actually, I've got a different one.

Starting point is 00:20:18 Maybe I'll just read that. Sure. Can I do that? Yeah, absolutely. So wait, the main characters, this is Patrick. Patrick. Patrick. Patrick and Martha. All right, so the context of this quote is that Martha and her sister are communicating only in photos of Kate Moss.

Starting point is 00:20:37 Okay. On their mobiles because. I do that, not with Kate Moss. You know, it happens a lot with Mason like we'll mention somebody and then we find like different gifts of that person anyway so go on I love that anyway who would like to go first I'm gonna go first because Claire it's septurtles and I've been missing out this entire time and I will not sit by and let you sabotage Sep Turtles yet again. With egg timber. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:21:07 Ridiculous. Anyways, Sep Turtles continues with a movie recommendation. Now there's been seven Ninja Turtle movies in total probably, give or take, right? Sure. There was three live action, a fourth which was a semi-sequel, a requel if you will, to number three. Then there was the two Michael Bay live action, a fourth, which was a semi-sequel, a requel, if you will, to number three.

Starting point is 00:21:26 Then there was the two Michael Bay live action ones that came afterwards with horrible creatures. And then this latest one is a Netflix exclusive called Rise of the Ninja Turtles, which is actually, Claire, a sequel to the series of the same name that began in 2018. Now, here's the thing. They're based on the characters created, and you know this I'm sure, by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Turtles this time, they're put to the test when a mysterious stranger named Casey Jones arrives from the future and he says, hello, I'm from the future,

Starting point is 00:21:58 to warn the mutant brothers of an impending invasion of the most dangerous alien force in the galaxy, the Krang. Pause. Does this often happen a lot? That force in the galaxy, the Krang. Pause. Does this often happen a lot? That sounds like the plot of The Terminator. Yeah, it's somewhat of the plot of The Terminator. All right, that's all. Unpause.

Starting point is 00:22:13 Okay. We didn't pause, though, did we? Yeah, that's how my son plays. I was watching him with his mate and they go like, pause, can you do my shoelaces? I need a snack. All right, pause. And then they unpause it when they're ready to go.

Starting point is 00:22:25 This isn't a game, Claire. Sub-Turtles is not a game. Life is a game. Life is a game. So what I like about the Ninja Turtles is that each time there's a new incarnation, it's like a reinvention, right? So in this version, each of the characters, and I hadn't seen the series that it was based on,

Starting point is 00:22:39 which also you don't need to. You absolutely could. It's a good series from all accounts. But each of them has a mystical ability this time around. Like Raphael's got like a big like hologram like armored suit. Leonardo's got the thing that he's got. Michelangelo's got mystical abilities, et cetera, and so forth, right? Now, this is normally something that I wouldn't necessarily be into giving them like magical powers, but I thought it worked really well. And in addition to that, they often change the team dynamic and the art style and the

Starting point is 00:23:07 voice actors and all of these different things. And this time around, you're not going to believe this, Raphael is the leader of the Ninja Turtles, where normally it is Leonardo. And he's wearing a bonnet. That's right. He's wearing a bonnet. He's wearing a little Bo Peep bonnet. And he sits on a little tuffet and he says, where's the Foot Clan, he says.

Starting point is 00:23:23 But Claire, here's the other thing. What else was I going to say? I can't remember. So Leonardo's trying to like he's coming into his own. He's learning to work together as a team and become a leader, right? He's also voiced by Ben Schwartz who voices Sonic as well, who I don't think voiced him in the series. I'm fairly confident.

Starting point is 00:23:39 But he's great. Their voice acting is really good. I also like the art style of this. It's very different to anything that's been seen before. And I would say also this art design might not necessarily be for everybody because, you know, I don't like the 2014 reboot art style of the Ninja Turtles. It's not so much the art style, Claire. It's more that they're nine feet tall.

Starting point is 00:23:59 Like they're giant. They all look like the Hulk, right? It's so weird to me because they're turtles. They're turtles, exactly. Look at this. Turtles are slow-moving little creatures. Yeah, that's the joke though, Claire. That's the joke, Claire.

Starting point is 00:24:12 I know. That's the joke. That was the original concept. So look at these absolute freaks. Actually, I shouldn't be knocking the Ninja Turtles. I bloody love the Ninja Turtles. Yeah. Look how big they are.

Starting point is 00:24:22 This is from the 2019 series. It's ridiculous. They're all too big they are. This is from the 2019 series. It's ridiculous. They're all too big. I think it's only the size. If you shrunk them down, I think it totally works. They're huge though. Yeah, they're too big. Yeah, they're too big.

Starting point is 00:24:34 And there's also just a golf topic in this movie. And look, it is possible for things to be too big. I agree, Claire. I completely agree. I wouldn't know, but I completely agree. But the thing is, in that movie also, they're completely bulletproof. There's a moment where one of them gets hit with bullets and they're like, oh, good, we're bulletproof. And I'm like, well, what are we doing then?

Starting point is 00:24:54 What's the point of any of this if you're bulletproof? Another one like throws a shipping container, like an entire shipping container. That's not possible, Claire. That's not possible. It means that they're too big. They're too big and they're too Hulk-like. They're too indestructible. Where's the danger? Where's the sense of danger, Claire? Anyways, it's a really tight story. The action is really great and dynamic and fluid. Also, the dynamic between all of them works really well. One of

Starting point is 00:25:17 the key components of the Ninja Turtles, Claire, and I think you know this more than anybody, it's just like the Sex and the City characters. You've got to get that dynamic right. You know what I mean? You've got to get that brotherly camaraderie in addition to that little bit of rivalry, a little bit of like, you know, a little bit of bickering and that. I feel like this nails that. Seth Rogen's actually working on a movie that's going to be coming

Starting point is 00:25:37 out mid-next year and he's also going to lean into like the teenage aspect of it, which I think could be really interesting, but I don't know. I like the Ninja Turtles. I like most of the incarnations except for the one. They're too big, Claire. What were they thinking? Come on.

Starting point is 00:25:53 What were they thinking, Claire? I don't know what they were thinking. Ridiculous. They weren't thinking. They weren't thinking. Exactly. Thank you. They weren't thinking.

Starting point is 00:26:00 They were thinking nothing. I tell you what. They were thinking, I know what would be great. I'll make these Ninja Turtles extra big to annoy James. I tell you what, Claire. I could do some turtles every day for the rest of my life and I'd recommend this Ninja Turtles thing. And I would never say that that was a good idea, ever.

Starting point is 00:26:17 You could never get me to say it. You could waterboard me. You could put me in Guantanamo Bay and you could, like, put electric clamps on my nipples and I would never say that that is a good idea. The concept is ridiculous. They're too big, Claire. And you know that better than anybody. This Ninja Turtles thing, tell me.

Starting point is 00:26:36 It's running rampant through our house at the moment. Yes, it really is. Where is the chicken and the egg scenario here in this egg timber? Yeah. Did you start the love of Ninja Turtles and pass it to our son or is it the fact that our son has deep dived into Ninja Turtles and now you are remembering your insane obsession? I got him some of the episodes of the cartoon,

Starting point is 00:26:55 like the first five of the original cartoon. I mean that show is like very in quality wildly, but those first five episodes, it's like a really tight like narrative. It's pretty good. Like they kid a fire bunch of the Ninja Turtles stuff because you need to, it's like a really tight narrative. It's pretty good. Like they kid a firebunch of the New Shield of stuff because you need to because it's a flipping cartoon, man. And they're not too big and I think that's one of the good things about it. Yeah, I love that cartoon series.

Starting point is 00:27:13 Everybody loves that cartoon. It was so good. It was really good and I totally get it. So you're saying our son got into them and then you kind of were a freak. I think you watched this movie. I think we watched this movie and he was like, tell me everything about this. And when he means everything, he means your brain version

Starting point is 00:27:31 of everything, which is like every single detail to The Cows Come Home. He wakes up in the morning and he will tell me some obscure fact about the shredder that was from like the 1980s particular one. He's right. With the extra, I don't know, additional different costumes. My mum recently dropped around a tub of an ice cream container full of Ninja Turtle cards that I had when I was a kid.

Starting point is 00:27:51 Oh, my God. We were playing Ninja Turtle Snap. It felt like bloody forever. My life is just a series of sleeping and Ninja Turtles and making snacks. Also, there's like six cards in that Snap set. I know. But every time we were playing Snap with them and every time he'd pull them down,

Starting point is 00:28:12 he'd think I wouldn't notice, but he'd be like, and then he'd like read each of the characters. I don't know, whatever it is. Cheese Man. Like whatever. Cheese Man. All these weird looking villains. Rat King.

Starting point is 00:28:23 Leatherhead. Okay. Well, Cheese Man is really not that far stretch from Leatherhead. It absolutely is a big stretch. Anyway, but all of those and he just like whispering to himself, like he's kind of learning some kind of like, I don't know, periodic table. Anyway, yeah, we've got Ninja Turtles, Rain Man 2 in the house.

Starting point is 00:28:42 Look at this absolute freak. Look at the size of him. He's too big, Claire. Can I move on from the two big Ninja Turtles? Yeah, all right. Am I allowed? I like that elevator scene from that movie. Maybe we'll just stay on this for another 15 minutes of the show

Starting point is 00:28:55 and the listeners can just settle in for James yelling, too big, Claire. Look at that. Yeah, they are. It's the Hulk. That's the Hulk. They made the Hulk with a shell. You know who else is bulletproof?

Starting point is 00:29:06 Fucking Hulk Claire. Ridiculous. What were they thinking? Here's Leonardo from 1990. How conservative is that size-wise? But also muscular-wise. Muscular-wise. What I don't really understand is they look hulking.

Starting point is 00:29:20 Yeah. They're all kind of hunchbacked and big, two muscles. I completely agree. Too many of the muscles as well. I agree with you. I'm on board. Now Subturtles will obviously continue next week. Oh lord I thought it was over. This is the original sketch for Ninja Turtles.

Starting point is 00:29:33 Yeah you told me. It's a joke Claire. It's an audio medium. They can't see it. They can see it. Can we move along? Just looking at the size of these freaks. Alright well while you keep looking at that I'll talk about the thing I want to talk about. Take them down like 40%.

Starting point is 00:29:47 40%, that would be fine. Can we move on? And they also stole the design. This is the original, the guy they just stole from some dude who didn't make the artwork. He's now just staring at his phone, googling images of giant Ninja Turtles. Just upset. I know you might think this is a bit, but he's really upset about it.

Starting point is 00:30:02 I am upset. He's like deeply annoyed. Nobody thinks it's a bit. Nobody thinks it's a bit. Nobody thinks it's a bit. Everyone knows how serious I am. Some people might think it was a bit, but no, the anger is so real. Yeah. It's so real.

Starting point is 00:30:13 Well, that's quite a good segue actually. Into your Ninja Turtles one. Yeah, for the breakdancing segue. It's true. Yeah, because I have brought in something from Ninja Turtles. If you say that Vanilla Ice song, Claire, I swear to God. No, James. Of course I have.

Starting point is 00:30:30 It's the Ninja Rap. I knew it. It's the Vanilla Ice Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, The Secret of the Ooze, the original motion picture soundtrack. Yes. Oh, my gosh. And so what I thought I would treat you to because of copyright, copyright or copyright. Yeah. I'm going to rap for you.

Starting point is 00:30:47 Please don't. I'm going to do it. No, I'm going to do it. Do not. I'm going to do it. You asked me. Claire. You didn't stipulate I couldn't rap.

Starting point is 00:30:54 You said before the show sometimes you do things and you're like, I don't feel embarrassed in the moment, but then I look back a year later and I'm like, why did I do that? So I'm here from the future to say i don't i've already i don't want this well you have to take it you asked me to bring in a ninja turtle thing this is what i'm doing you ready okay yo is the green machine gonna rock the town without being seen have you ever seen a turtle get down? Slamming and jamming to the new young sound. Yeah. Everybody, let's move.

Starting point is 00:31:29 Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove. Gonna rock. And roll these plays with the power of the Ninja Turtle Bass. Iceman, you know. You know what I'm saying. I'm not playing. Devastate the show while the turtles are saying, Ninja, Ninja, rap. Ninja, Ninja, rap.

Starting point is 00:31:44 Go, go, go, go, go. No, it's go, go rap go go go go no it's go go go go and then it's go ninja go ninja I watched this movie

Starting point is 00:31:50 like a thousand times when I was a kid and I actually watched it this week I watched it with our son it was one of my favourite movies it's terrible

Starting point is 00:31:58 like it's one of those things where I'm like it can't be that bad because I watched the original Ninja Turtles movie and it's still good second one awful like there's a lot of things that like oh I watched the original Ninja Turtles movie and it's still good. Second one, awful.

Starting point is 00:32:10 Like there's a lot of things that like, oh, I see what they're going for and I like this character or the animatronics are good, but it's just bad. It's so bad. It's not as bad as three, but one is still good and I didn't show El San Juan because it's brutal. There's a lot. So I'm like, you can handle this one. This one's all right.

Starting point is 00:32:24 So what, can you explain to me why they rap? That's a great question, Claire. Because they actually break dance or something in the movie. Okay, so there's a moment where they go for a final confrontation with the Foot Clan, including Shredder, Tatsu, and Toka and Reza, which are Shredder's mutants that he's created to fight the turtles. It's like his version of Bebop and Rocksteady, right? And they're in the warehouse district.

Starting point is 00:32:48 And you're like, oh, no, they're not going to survive this, Claire. Anyway, they get thrown through a wall and they land in the middle of a Vanilla Ice concert. Now, you might be like, are you joking? Is this a joke? No. And everybody pauses. There's a record scratch and everyone's like, what's going on?

Starting point is 00:33:10 Who are these turtles? We've never seen them before because they live in the sewer. You know, they're secret and they're ninjas. And so Vanilla Ice, in his infinite wisdom, he improvs this ninja turtle rap and it gets everybody pumped up, enough for them to defeat Toka and Reza and turn them back. Is that these lyrics here? Villains, you better run and hide because one day you might not slide.

Starting point is 00:33:34 So choose, your weapons don't slip. Vanilla's in control with the flex of the mic grip. Rocking the crowd the way it should be rocked with the Miami drop that you like a lot. You know it's you like a lot. You know it's hitting like a ninja turtle. When the bass kicks in, you better check your level. The power of the ninja is strong.

Starting point is 00:33:56 Fighting the crooks till they're all gone. Now you're going to love this, Claire. I know you love. Go ninja, go ninja, go. Hilarious. I know you love Vanilla Ice's Ninja Rap. I do. But you probably didn't know that in 2005 Vanilla Ice released a sequel to the song called Ninja Rap 2 and here's the image.

Starting point is 00:34:18 For those who can't see, James has shown me a picture of him on Google. He's got a white backwards cap on. He's looking good. He's looking very pensive for someone that's written Ninja Turtle rap to. I'd be way prouder of myself. Yeah, I mean these lyrics, whoo, mate. In it to win it with a team of four Ninja Turtles that you've got to adore. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:39 You've got to. To be fair though, I've listened to this a lot. He loves the Ninja rap. He loves the Ninja rap. He loves the ninja rap. Oh, my God, I love it. Okay, so I did it. I did my Ninja Turtle assignment. That was the biggest load of bullshit.

Starting point is 00:34:53 You know when you have to do a book report and it's on Moby Dick and you're like, wow, 302 pages, you know? And what I learned from this book is just having a quick glance at the back. Here's a Vanilla Ice rap about Moby Dick. Hey, I think I actually nailed that. You managed to really share the story. I did the heavy lifting on that, all right. You didn't even know what it was from.

Starting point is 00:35:19 I had to explain the context. It was from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. You didn't know. You were like, how did it happen though? You have poisoned septurtles with your lack of effort. Oh, look, at least I didn't already do one that you'd already read. That's true. Which is your assignment.

Starting point is 00:35:35 Speaking of. Now, Claire, I've brought a poem. I shouldn't have done that when you were drinking. You're having a big sip of water. It could have been a big spit-take moment. But I've actually brought in what, I don't know whether you've heard of this, but this poem was actually called The Official Poem of 2016 by BBC slash Public Radio International.

Starting point is 00:35:57 Oh, you really have brought in a poem? Yes, this isn't a joke, Claire. Oh, jeez. It's only short. Do you mind if I read it? All right. Are you sure? I'm not sure. This isn't a joke you mind if I read it? All right. Are you sure? I'm not sure.

Starting point is 00:36:06 This isn't a joke. I literally have a poem. All right. I saw this on Twitter and it really spoke to me genuinely. I'm not even kidding and I'm going to read it right now. All right. Okay. Oh, God.

Starting point is 00:36:18 All right. It's called Good Bones by Maggie Smith, not the actor Maggie Smith, the poet and writer Maggie Smith. Okay. I feel like you're better at reading poetry than I am. This is not my wheelhouse at all. Okay. Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short and I've shortened mine in a thousand delicious ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways, I'll keep from my children. The world is at least 50% terrible, and that's a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children. For every bird, there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a

Starting point is 00:36:57 lake. Life is short, and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you though i keep this from my children i'm trying to sell them the world any decent realtor walking you through a real shithole chirps on about good bones this place could be beautiful right you could make this place beautiful oh i love that poem you know it i should yeah i figured you would know it? It's so famous. Yeah, it's beautiful. I figured you would know it, yeah. But I saw it on Twitter and I'm like, Jesus Christ. It's like horrifying and beautiful and I'd never heard of it obviously and, yeah, it was amazing. It really hits you.

Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah. Yeah. What did it make you think about? Well, it made me think about how, yeah, a lot of things are terrible and a lot of your job as a parent, as the poem mentioned, this is a pretty surface level evaluation, is like keeping those things from your kids, not making them like blind to the dangers of the world, but sheltering them from a lot of it until maybe they are ready for it, if that makes sense.

Starting point is 00:37:57 Or you think that they're ready for it because they're going to get hit with it eventually and it's about kind of like revealing that information kind of slowly over time and, you know, kind of giving them the skills to navigate the world and, you know, realise that people aren't or people don't always have good intentions and some do but you don't know often, you know. You kind of just have to take a punt sometimes either way, you know. Yeah, and that's the thing of being human, right? It certainly is.

Starting point is 00:38:27 Like the world, as beautiful it is, it's also as terrible. So this was, I wasn't going to say, so Good Bones apparently, it went viral in the aftermath of the Orlando nightclub shooting and she wanted to find a way to channel the angst created watching her children growing up in an increasingly conflicted world. So that was kind of the initial idea behind it for like such a terrible and tragic and violent event and kind of, yeah, trying to get something, you know, and this is what came from it.

Starting point is 00:38:57 Anyway, I thought it was genuinely amazing. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I've always loved that poem. I'm not surprised it speaks to you because it basically says your premise, which is the world is terrible. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I've always loved that poem. I'm not surprised it speaks to you because it basically says your premise which is the world is terrible. Yeah, and I just love also the bit about how like life is short

Starting point is 00:39:12 and I've shortened mine. Yes, correct. Where you tell like your kids to be a certain way and eat a certain way. Yeah, and you're like and, you know. And I think about like some of the stupid things. In like a thousand, what is it, a thousand delicious ill-advised ways. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Or something. And totally and actually that that's also a part of the stupid things. In like a thousand delicious ill-advised ways or something. And totally and actually that that's also a part of it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:29 That at a certain point you're allowed to make decisions that sometimes will be bad for you but they kind of can sometimes be really great in the moment. You should wear sunscreen from when you're very young. Correct. It might not necessarily be something like heroin, which is something I have not tried, but it can be as simple as wearing sunscreen.

Starting point is 00:39:47 Correct, exactly. But, yeah, it is that whole idea, isn't it, that this world that we have, there's just so much about it that's so horrible that you still exist in it and you can still see what's so beautiful about it. Exactly. And she also said, to see people from walks of life reading and sharing this poem as a medicine in the midst of tragedy is my definition of success.

Starting point is 00:40:06 So there you go. James, who even are you? Now I love poetry. I finally, I wish there was somebody in my life who could have introduced poetry to me. It took a viral tweet for me to be brought into the world of poetry and I'll be forever thankful to that particular viral tweet for this and nobody else. Can I?

Starting point is 00:40:29 I'm going to have to strike this to you. What? I've already read this poem on Suggestions. No, you haven't. Is that true? Yes, I certainly have. Oh, my God. Probably is a good one.

Starting point is 00:40:43 And I wasn't going to tell you because I felt bad because I'm so delighted that you brought it in and that it speaks to you and I loved your take on it and I loved your reading of it and it was so great but I brought it in no I don't think so yes definitely no I saw it on twitter so but I will take that as a win for poetry. Now that you mention it, I do remember that. And you did say to me, oh, my God, I actually love that poem. Wow, there you go. I like one poem.

Starting point is 00:41:16 Anyway, send your poems. Send your weird depressing poems to suggestablepod at gmail.com. I am so delighted that I somehow kind of like secretly implanted that poem in your head. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Claire. I just want to clarify I do not remember the poem until I saw a tweet and that's what really lit it up for me. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:41:37 Yeah, that's true. It doesn't light up until you see it on your medium of choice. Thank God for Elon Musk for purchasing Twitter. Where he brought in a poem. Actually, I'm so glad. Do you know how glad I am? My whole little heart has like fully exploded with happiness. Well, I'm glad.

Starting point is 00:41:56 You brought a poem in. It's made me so happy. Yum, yum. Anyway, back to this. And I can't remember if I've talked about this before, but I'll just mention it again. The How to Fail Pockets with Elizabeth Day, where she interviews Brene Brown, came out very recently in her current season of the show. And it is such a great episode

Starting point is 00:42:13 and such a wonderful trajectory sort of arc going back over what Brene Brown's kind of career has been like. And when she was selling books that no one would publish from the boot of her car and some guy was like, ooh, your book's really great, let me use it in my lecture theatre and he said, but who's this publisher? And she said, oh, it's self-published. And he said, oh, I don't ever use self-published text in my classroom. What did he think was happening when she was selling her book from the back of her car?

Starting point is 00:42:43 Well, no, he was like a colleague of hers in the university. So he liked the book until it was sold? Yeah. How many books did he publish? Well, I don't know. Who knows? Maybe many, maybe none. I don't know this dude.

Starting point is 00:42:55 I don't know him. Yeah. But I hope he's dead. Sorry, please go on. Well, there you go. Anyway, but now she's obviously Brene Brown, one of the most famous, important writers on social, emotional. He's dead.

Starting point is 00:43:07 The science behind. Anyway, let me start again. You went for a swim. You went for a swim. It fries your brain. Is that what happened? Because I feel like I'm just keeling over. I'm like struggling through a cement.

Starting point is 00:43:20 Let me tell you, Claire, I'm having a hell of a time listening to this story. I'm sorry. Hey, everybody who's listening. we all agree, don't we? Yeah, we love Claire. We love what she's saying. You can do it. Wow. It's great that we can hear some of our listeners.

Starting point is 00:43:35 Every now and then it sneaks through. Are you okay? You know, things have really gone bad. Claire, you need to. You need your husband to pretend to be tiny people. No, I'm real. And I'm not tiny. It's just that I'm far away.

Starting point is 00:43:52 Anyways, I think you've gone off track here. You're getting a bit giddy. And I'm actually losing concentration here. I might actually switch off. So you better, you need to get it together. What was I talking about, Brene Brown? You were talking about Brene Brown. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:05 Sorry. Do you want me to stop? She's a shame researcher, James. Well, you don't need to tell me. She researches leadership and shame and resilience and all the things and she's a really incredible science sort of – anyway, she's really great. Which is academic scientific mind. Yes, that's what I was going for.

Starting point is 00:44:29 She's excellent but she's also really Texan and funny and down to earth and she just reminds you, as I'm always reminded of, that everyone looks like they've got their shit together and nobody does. Yep, that's right. Scratch the surface. Which I find really comforting. I know, right? And that's right. Scratch the surface. Which I find really comforting. I know, right? And that's it.

Starting point is 00:44:47 All right. Okay. So I am really excited to talk about a music thing because you know what I'm like. I'm in my enthusiasm for music vibe currently. And I found a new artist. Well, she's not new. She's been around for a very long time. I love her.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Her name is Casey. I'll start that again. I've got Casey from the Ninja Turtles in my head from you. What's his last name? Jones. Jones, that's right. No, her name is Kathy Davey. Now, Kathy Davey was born in 1979 and is an Irish singer-songwriter.

Starting point is 00:45:15 She has released one extended play, Come Over, in 2004 and four albums since then, my favourite of which is one called The Nameless that she released in 2010. Yes, she's in 2010. Yes, she's so amazing. It's so glorious. And because, you know, I'm really into songwriting at the moment with this album, I've been listening to artists where it's just getting very, very specific. And I guess that's the writing skill in general, being able to describe. And the thing I love about music is not only are you describing a specific moment or feeling, you're then creating this whole energy and sound around that feeling. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:49 So it kind of takes you away on a journey by listening to that piece of music. And that's what I find really fascinating. Do you have a song like that? Probably, but I'd have to think about it. Alex Lloyd? I do like Alex Lloyd. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:03 But I wouldn't say that would be like. One like that. Yeah. The one from our wedding, Come Lloyd? I do like Alex Lloyd. Yeah. But I wouldn't say that would be like. One like that. Yeah. The one from our wedding, Come and Get Your Love by Redbone. Yeah. Is kind of great. Which I was going to say, but that was before Guardians of the Galaxy, but I don't, maybe it wasn't.

Starting point is 00:46:15 No, it wasn't. It definitely wasn't. No. No, because we got married in 2014. No, it came out and then you played that song to me so many times and you loved that album. Remember we were dancing around in our flat to it. Oh, our flat when we were happy.

Starting point is 00:46:27 You only like music that comes. That's true. That was before. I only like music when someone's like, this is in a movie. I'm like, oh, it's in a movie. It must be a good song then. Genuinely, all your song references, most of them come from Phil's, which there's nothing wrong with that either.

Starting point is 00:46:38 Or television. Because they're usually really great theme songs and really great. That's true. Like the Ninja Turtles thing. They're chosen for TV and film for a very good reason. The other one I love is the one we did our wedding nights to, If I Should Fall, that cover by Dion. That's true. They're chosen for TV and film for a very good reason. The other one I love is the one we did our wedding notes to, If I Should Fall, that cover by Dion. That's true.

Starting point is 00:46:49 And that is not from a movie. No. That's from a podcast. That's from Stephen Tobolowsky's podcast. He played it on it, which is a great podcast. Is that how you found it? I actually didn't know that. It's a Springsteen song, I think.

Starting point is 00:47:02 It is a Springsteen song, yeah, because you can't find that version on Spotify. You only get it on YouTube. But it a Springsteen song, I think. It is a Springsteen song, yeah, because you can't find that version on Spotify. You can only get it on YouTube. But it's just, oh, it's glorious. So go look up that song, actually. That's what we danced to. I don't need to look it up, Claire. I know that song.

Starting point is 00:47:12 I introduced you to that song. Do you know, James, there's not just two of us in the room. There's all these other legends out there who are listening who we think are excellent. And there's little James under the table. You remember this little James? I am because you played it to me while I was brushing my teeth the other night and laughed along as you do to your own jokes.

Starting point is 00:47:28 It wasn't my joke. It was a collective joke. Also, Little James is not a joke. Isn't that right, Little James? Yeah. He's here. There he is. Hi, Little James.

Starting point is 00:47:36 Oh, he's put his headphones back in. I don't know what he's up to. He's not listening to this show, but I don't trust him. I'll never tell him that. Maybe he's listening to a song that describes a specific feeling. No, I'm not. Well, there you go. He's not. Oh, he's not listening to this show, but I don't trust him. I'll never tell him that. Maybe he's listening to a song that describes a specific feeling. No, I'm not. Well, there you go. He's not.

Starting point is 00:47:49 Oh, he's not. He's not into music, Little James. No. Oh, Little James, I have a question for you later. What? What are you doing tonight after dinner? I'm busy. Are you too busy for me?

Starting point is 00:48:00 Yes. I'm sharpening knives. Oh, no. I just have a fantasy about you and Little James together. Little James, no. It's not happening. A little version of me leaping about. I don't want to hear that.

Starting point is 00:48:15 Okay, this got way too creepy. I'm so sorry. We can take that out. You can blame Little James for that. Collings, take this out. It's no good. Anyway, so that's my recommendation, The Nameless by Kathy Davey, who is a pig rescuer and also an amazing artist.

Starting point is 00:48:26 Great. Love her. Amazing. So cool. And Irish. And we know we have some amazing Irish listeners out there. Name one. Ah.

Starting point is 00:48:33 Declan O'Shaughnessy. Perfect. Bing bong, bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bing bing bong, bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, boric hit, Claire, because as you know. There's not even any calories in them. There was 100 calories per packet of Smart Sweets, Claire, which is my first recommendation. They're not awful. Some of them are awful, granted, but the cola ones are good. The sour gummies are good.

Starting point is 00:49:20 They've got little watermelon pieces that are good. No. Yes, Claire. No, by good do you mean like horribly chewy but in a really unpleasant way? No, no. So what you need, Claire. They haven't invested in the mouthfeel. You know the phrase mouthfeel? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:31 I really get obsessed with that. I watched a documentary about Doritos. I'm feeling. And they talk about the excellence of mouthfeel and how the crunch and all that stuff can take many, many years for people to formulate and work on. Doritos are terrible for you, Claire. This is a bad example.

Starting point is 00:49:46 Use a natural example from nature like glass or celery. No, I'm saying that designers who build these synthetic foods spend a lot of time on mouthful and they haven't spent enough time on your pretend lollies. I disagree. And I'll say this as well. It's interesting because a lot of stuff that we purchase, they've got these little inbuilt things in them to give you more of a satisfying feeling, like a more expensive car. They really put the time and effort into like the click of the door handle

Starting point is 00:50:10 because you want that kind of like a rich person's click. It probably goes click. I don't know. I don't have one of those. But you know what I mean? Let's say a little voice just goes click. Yeah, exactly. You're very rich.

Starting point is 00:50:22 Whenever you get in. Don't worry. You're rich because you're great, not because you're lucky. Or your parents are rich. Using all the Earth's resources, but that's okay. You're rich. We should design cars. That'd be great.

Starting point is 00:50:35 Imagine if you opened up a packet of Tim Tams and it just went. Or it just went, don't do it. It's a terrible idea. You're like, yeah. You think like, I'll just have one, but you do it. It's a terrible idea. You're like, yeah. You think like, oh, just have one, but you won't. You're weak. What was the Tim Tam ad with the genie?

Starting point is 00:50:52 I remember that. Oh, the genie. I met him once. The genie? Yeah, the genie. What do you mean you met the genie? Because I played the genie in the Tim Tam ad. No, you didn't. For those people who don't know, oh, this is just where we suggest things.

Starting point is 00:51:02 And this week I'm suggesting this ad from 40 years ago. Hello, you didn't introduce, I'm Claire Tonti, James Clement, he's here as well, and we're married. Yes, yes, yes. Anyway, there's a person and they're like, oh, my God, I found this lamp. And they're sitting on the couch like in a shared house in like the late 90s or whenever this was.

Starting point is 00:51:17 And they rub the lamp and a genie comes out and is like, three wishes. And he's also the lead singer of what's that band called? I don't know. A Thousand Something. It's like an Australian rap group. I don't know. Hang on.

Starting point is 00:51:32 I'm not the Hilltop Hoods. No. That's the only Australian hip-hop band I know which is sort of rap but not really. Yeah, they're always. I don't really know. Every time you say Genie, I always think in my head I'm singing Genie from down under, which is a term of all ABC kids show.

Starting point is 00:51:47 Actually, I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met that guy. The genie from down under guy? No, the guy that I think, yeah, yeah, yes, I met the genie from down under. Not the genie from the Tim Tam ad. So actually we've both met genies. Mine is better.

Starting point is 00:52:03 I'm trying to furiously find this guy. This is really boring for everyone else. 1,200 techniques. Do you remember the band 1,200 Techniques? No, sing me a song. You're the piano man. No, I won't do it. Sing me a song tonight.

Starting point is 00:52:14 Yeah, anyway, don't even worry about it. Listen. All right. Anyway, so a woman, she wishes for an infinite pack of Tim Tams and that's the end of the show, I guess. Claire, what are you recommending this week? I cannot believe I got stuck on this. I can't believe it either.

Starting point is 00:52:28 That happens all the time, right? Yeah. You just fall down a rabbit hole. You don't remember this song? Oh, I love this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is an era for sure.

Starting point is 00:52:43 All right, this is cool. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, I love that. Oh, yeah, I'm really in the right now. It right, this is cool. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, I loved that. Oh, yeah, I'm really in the right now. It might be a different guy. There's a hot, remember those, all those like festival songs that were around for a while? Yeah, I do. It was like drinking tinnies with the boys on the field. They were all about drinking tinnies.

Starting point is 00:52:58 Sitting on my shoulders, drinking in the rollies, something in a something, looking at the stage. I don't know. I didn't really go to that many festivals. I don't like the Lou situation. I agree. know. I didn't really go to that many festivals. I don't like the Louie situation. I agree. And again, it might be a different guy. But anyways, Mason, what are you up to? We're just moving forward.

Starting point is 00:53:12 Good God. We're moving forward. Okay, my first recommendation. Excellent. Well, the singers are on a musical little bent. I'm going to tell you about my latest musical crush. I'm obsessed with this band. I was playing it when you came in and you were like,

Starting point is 00:53:25 you're not going to play that to me? And I said, no, but I'm going to tell you about them. So they're three sisters. They're called The Staves. He was from the Tim Tam commercial. It's the same guy. His name's Nympha. And he was the lead singer from 1200 Techniques

Starting point is 00:53:40 and he also appeared as the genie. He also was in the movie Queen of the Damned, which is a sequel to Interview with the Vampire. I knew it. He's 43. Why? The way that your brain works constantly astounds me. Useless information.

Starting point is 00:54:00 Do you remember that? Why would I know that? I know, but you can't remember the name of the street that is adjacent to the one you grew up in. Why would I need to know that? I need to know the guy from the lead singer of 1200 Techniques is the same guy from the GD Tim Tam commercial, but not the one from overseas, the Australian one in the late 90s.

Starting point is 00:54:18 Yeah, you know that gorilla video that you made with the Koopa Pee Dee? You mean? Is that his name? It sounds like Koopa Pee Dee. What's his name? Now you've broken my brain. I don't know. Koopa Pee Dee. You mean? Is that his name? It sounds like Koopa Pee Dee. What's his name? Now you've broken my brain. I don't know footballers. Kuda Pee Dee.

Starting point is 00:54:29 I don't know footballers. I don't know. Anyway, that guy, Koopa Pee Dee and the gorilla. Yeah. The super lucky hat. For some reason in my head I was like, that would make a really great new video with the genie from the Tim Tam ads.

Starting point is 00:54:42 No, it wouldn't. They're completely different. And the gorilla all kind of dancing together. I don't know why, but in my head I was like, that's a lovely, joyful thing. Listen, Claire, this is clearly your passion project, so you should do it, if anything. Anyways, music.

Starting point is 00:54:54 I couldn't live up to the fame of that video. That has to be my favourite one of any of the videos you've ever made, including that one where you spent a long time making the animation. Well, that is what lockdown will do to a fella, won't it? All right. Well, I've got something, you know, because it's the season of love, and you know that, Claire, because I don't believe in Valentine's Day. I celebrate love all year round.

Starting point is 00:55:14 All right. Except for Valentine's Day. Have you told them yet about what you gave them for Valentine's Day? I haven't. Well, I was going to give that to you on our other spin-off show, our even less successful podcast, Suggestible in the City. But, yeah, I did get you a special necklace. It's the best.

Starting point is 00:55:28 I mean, you can tell. No, you should tell them. You should tell them. It's made my day. It's made my year, actually. Everybody knows the famous Carrie necklace from Sex and the City. Well, I got one in the style of that, but instead of saying Carrie, it says Clary.

Starting point is 00:55:45 And what's great about it is if you ever choose to wear it out, which you shouldn't. I've done once and no one said anything. Oh, I was going to say you'd have to explain this thing and then people would go, oh. I wore it to school drop-off once and I just wanted to see if anyone would say anything. Yeah. And I wore it, I guess, like once and I just wanted to see if anyone would say anything. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:05 And I wore it, I guess like not ironically, I don't know, I just wore it. Not a single person said anything. Yeah. And I just like walked around. I was hoping someone would say something so I could be like, it's just a joke, it's not real. So people could be looking and going, what the fuck is going on there?

Starting point is 00:56:21 Yeah, people would be like, Jesus, what's going on there? Anyway, it was an excellent gift and I really appreciate it. Well, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much, sir. No worries. I loved it. What kind of novelty necklace can I get you next year? Who knows?

Starting point is 00:56:33 Now, I'm back in 100% for a little show, one of my favourite shows on television. It's called Love is Blind. We're back for season two on Netflix. I worked my way all through season one, It's called Love is Blind. We're back for season two on Netflix. I worked my way all through season one, which I'm sure you're familiar with, Claire. I've never watched an episode, but you, I know, got very invested. Okay, so this is what it is. You get 15 men, you get 15 women.

Starting point is 00:56:56 They live in separate spaces. They can't see each other. I mean, the men and the women are in separate spaces. And then they go into dating pods where they talk to the other person that they're trying to date. But the thing is, because love is blind in this case, they've all had their eyes pulled out. So they're all screaming in agony whilst trying to find love.

Starting point is 00:57:16 No, they can't see the other person because there's like a divider between. So the idea is that you build a connection based on like personality, I suppose, which leads to all sorts of crazy situations. Let me tell you that much, Claire. And the thing is like it's interesting for me as I'm not a big reality show guy at all and I don't know what it is about this particular one and why I'm watching it. But you're watching people date and you're like, yeah, that works.

Starting point is 00:57:40 You can see why they would get together and all. That seems a bit fast but, you know, at the same time, who am I to judge? They seem genuinely into each other and that's cool. Do you know what I mean? There's other people you're like, oh, man, I would not do that. What is wrong with you? Oh, don't say that.

Starting point is 00:57:52 That person doesn't even like you or whatever. I can see where this is going to go. I mean, even if you do get married, you've fucked up here royally. I mean, I could check your Instagram. I bet if I checked right now I'd know that you weren't actually together now, but I won't do that because I don't want to spoil it for myself. Anyways, and sometimes like a person will be like, oh, you know, I don't really connect with this person or whatever.

Starting point is 00:58:13 I feel like it's, you know, I don't know, I'm looking for something now and then when I saw them and I'm like, you're a fucking idiot. That's why because your personality sucks. This is actually a really good situation that you're in. This is the best you'll ever do and you'll ruin it. You're ruining it for yourself or whatever. And there's one guy in particular I remember who's like, you joke too much.

Starting point is 00:58:30 You tease me and I want compliments. And I'm like, look at this fucking sook. Get over it, mate. Get over it, I say to him, Claire. That's what I say. And then there's another moment which goes, I'm about halfway through where this girl's like, oh, I saw you talking to so-and-so or whatever. You were quite involved because they were together.

Starting point is 00:58:48 And she's like, I saw you talking to someone else. And he's like, I was just talking about capitalism. And I'm like, wow, this guy really speaks to me as a human being. Okay. I will also say I really like this reality TV watching side of you. Cool. Can't wait for season three. Apparently they already filmed it in 2021.

Starting point is 00:59:05 Did you start watching this ironically? I don't know. It was just on. I remember. I watched this. You did start watching it ironically. I probably did. And then you really go.

Starting point is 00:59:13 Oh, yeah. And then I was like, oh, watch two. Look at me. And then I was like, I watched every episode. Yeah. And now you're. And then I forgot. You've loved it so much.

Starting point is 00:59:21 You've forgotten. And now you're just watching it as a fan. Yeah. Anyways, it's heartbreak time on Love Is Blind season two, Claire. I didn't think I was going to come back to it. You know what I mean? I was about halfway through. Don't break my heart. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 00:59:33 So for those people who don't know, please stay with me if you haven't seen Love Is Blind or you don't need to do it in reality TV because it's not really my thing either. But anyways. Uncry these tears. You can't uncry tears. But basically the premise of the show is, I'll just quickly recap. Claire, this is really distracting. I cannot do this while you're singing Unbreak My Heart.

Starting point is 00:59:56 I know, but I thought I should bring back. Also, heartbreak. You heal from it and you learn and you move on and you grow. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I know. I just was singing Toni Braxton for fun. I'm sick of Toni Braxton. I'm just bringing back for one episode because you've told me

Starting point is 01:00:13 that I can't keep interrupting you because it's very disrespectful and you've put lots of effort into your reviews. That's what I said. I said it's very disrespectful and you will not interrupt me for even a second. No, but I know I'm not supposed to because it's not very kind and it's annoying, but I'm just bringing it back just for today. I closed that door.

Starting point is 01:00:30 Because I had a lot of banana bread. How did this dog? She's a beagle. She probably opened it. She's very clever. It's fine. Let's just record. No, because she runs amok.

Starting point is 01:00:43 Let's go back to where I was being adorable and interrupting you. Oh, yeah. What were you doing? What were you up to? So the show is basically 15 couples meet and they're in separate sections of a house. They basically date with a wall between them. They don't know who they're going to get engaged to if they decide

Starting point is 01:00:59 to get engaged. So it's basically an experiment based on can you get to know somebody? Is love truly blind, et cetera, and so forth. Anyways, it like dips after the engagements, do you know what I mean? After the, after the different, you know, the people get together, it's like, Ooh, what's going to happen? Ooh, who's rejected or whatever. Then it's like four or five episodes of people being like, we're in the real world. This is crazy. Can you believe this experiment that we've been on? What a journey. We're getting married in a week. This is crazy. This is my family. This is crazy. It's like, fuck all that. It's boring.

Starting point is 01:01:25 It's boring. Because then when you get to the second last episode, you get the second best episode of the series, which is fucking heart stomping time, Claire. My goodness. What they have to do, they walk up the aisle, both of them, right? And then they get there and then they say their vows at each other. And then one of them or both of them might be like, I'm not doing this. I'm not getting married.

Starting point is 01:01:46 Guess what? We all got dressed up for this wedding and whatever and planned all, but guess what? You're a lunatic. I don't like you. And then it's out. And there was a lot of couples that like broke up and I'm like, good, this is fun.

Starting point is 01:01:55 I'm enjoying this. You know what I mean? That shouldn't have happened. Like that was a, that's a terrible person. You don't want to, you don't want to be involved in any of that. But the reunion this year, my God, Claire, my God, it just made the whole thing worth it, right? So there was this dude from the start who like when he'd meet people in Love is Blind, he's like, oh, like he tried to figure out what people look like or how big

Starting point is 01:02:16 they were. He was kind of obsessed with that. He'd be like, oh, do you like exercise? You know, do you enjoy exercise? Do you enjoy keeping fit? Or hey, if I took you to like a music festival, do you reckon I could lift you on my shoulders or whatever? Do you reckon that? Do you enjoy exercise? Do you enjoy keeping fit? Or, hey, if I took you to like a music festival, do you reckon I could lift you on my shoulders or whatever? Do you reckon that's something that I could do? And people are like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Was he asking all these questions about how heavy I am or whatever? Anyways, he ended up getting engaged to this lovely woman. I'm not going to spoil who or whatever, but no one cares, I guess,

Starting point is 01:02:41 at this point. And it's really weird because he spends the rest of the episodes just talking to camera and talking to other people and being like, I don't know, we've got this really cool connection and she's fun and we understand each other and we've got like a similar background and there's this real deep connection which I don't have because I'm always looking at things superficially. But then he's also like, but I just don't want to bang this chick.

Starting point is 01:03:02 I just look at her and I'm like, I don't want to, she's like my aunt, I don't want to bang this chick. And also look at her and I'm like, I don't want to, she's like, my aunt, I don't want to bang this chick. And also, and this is how he's talking, right? And anyway, you look at this woman, she's like a fucking 10 and he's like a four. Like it's crazy, right? It doesn't make any sense. And I think he's probably thrown off because recently she lost a lot

Starting point is 01:03:19 of weight, so maybe he's just like, oh, what if she goes back to before she had a lot of weight or whatever. You know what I mean? He's just terrible. Anyway, she finds, I'm just recapping the show at this point, I guess. She finds out that he's been just talking shit to everybody. Because even guys in the other group are just like, hey, tell her that he's been saying all this shit. And apparently a bunch of stuff that he said also didn't make the cut. So the reunion time rolls around.

Starting point is 01:03:42 He's out of the gate. He's fucking furious, right? Because also she rejected him at the altar. You missed the most rolls around. He's out of the gate. He's fucking furious, right? Because also she rejected him at the altar. You missed the most important bit. No, it's not. That's not the most important bit. That's why I skipped it. So she rejects him at the altar.

Starting point is 01:03:52 Yes, because she found out because people were just like, hey, this dude is a fucking idiot. Okay, pause. Yeah. I have to tell everyone one of the reasons James is ranting about Love is Blind, which is not usually the calibre of shows that we watch, is that I was on the couch yesterday and James came in like he'd seen a ghost. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:10 He came in and he just did the symbol for like my mind is blown. I felt like he had witnessed something miraculous. It was like a murder. And terrifying and awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought to myself, what is this man of calibre and depth watching? I'm not any of those things. And he said, you should have seen the fucking Love is Blind reunion special.

Starting point is 01:04:35 What? Anyway, he gets the reunion. They're all sitting on the couches, right, and a couple of them are married, most of them aren't. And everybody's pretty, like, civil. Hang on, pause. Some of them actually get married. Yeah, a couple of them actually get, most of them aren't, and everybody's pretty, like, civil. Hang on, pause. Some of them actually get married. Yeah, a couple of them actually get married.

Starting point is 01:04:47 For real, and they stay together. Yeah, and they stay, and it's been a year. How long between when they? Year between filmed it and the reunion. Okay, all right. Right, and so they're just hashing it out, right, on the couch, and from the get-go, cameras start rolling, and he goes fucking nuclear, like, immediately,

Starting point is 01:05:03 and he starts interrupting and talking over everybody and being like, this is what's going on with your relationship. This is what the problem with you is. Hey, you know what I think? Maybe if you had have done this because I don't think you respect this about this person. And everyone's just like, can you just fucking calm down? Like what you think is, like the way your brain works is the way that you think everybody else's work. But you're broken.

Starting point is 01:05:22 Like your brain is broken and you're just lashing out at everybody. And so everybody, he turns on everybody, everybody turns on him and his ex-fiance is just sitting there like, I dodged a bullet here, like thank Christ, this dude, right? Anyway, I haven't mentioned this and it's not really relevant, but this is hosted by Nick and Vanessa Lachey. Nick Lachey was in 98 Degrees. Do you remember him?

Starting point is 01:05:45 He was once married to Jessica Simpson. They're barely in it. It doesn't matter. But anyway, they're back at the reunion, and then they fucking turn on him. Like, Vanessa Lachey's like, you're a fucking idiot. Like, she literally swears at him. Like, what is wrong with you? Why are you like this?

Starting point is 01:06:04 And there's one point he goes, I don't even find anybody attractive in this room. So what? What am I? Who cares if I'm actually a shallow? That's the real world, isn't it? So I want to bang somebody. I want somebody who's attractive or whatever.

Starting point is 01:06:15 The only person I find attractive in this room is Vanessa Lachey. And she's sitting right there with her husband, Nick Lachey, of 98 Degrees. It was insane. And what is also the craziest thing is, like, he's not a catch, like, on any level. Like, if you, like, and again, these things can be edited, and he talks about how, like, you know, I was edited unfairly,

Starting point is 01:06:39 but they just let this guy run his mouth. He's, like, he talks through the whole thing. It's, like, an hour long and probably 40 minutes of just him just getting real aggressive at everybody. Do you think the producers, though, worked him into a frenzy? Maybe. Do you think they set that up? Because they usually do.

Starting point is 01:06:55 I think it's, oh, look, it's definitely manipulated on some level. Like this guy, I don't know, I mean, I don't know whether they worded him up before or be like, you know, just go all out or whatever, but he just tries to burn everything down. And it's just hilarious. I loved it. It was really good.

Starting point is 01:07:14 We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.

Starting point is 01:07:42 Great. Okay, let's move on to something fun. Yeah. great okay let's talk about something fun yeah okay so i am so delighted to remind everyone in case anyone forgot that british is so fun and i loved it i loved it i'm probably the only one in the world who loved it i think everyone bloody loved it anyway season one if you don't remember was just like a feast for the eyes. It's a bit like Pride and Prejudice but updated for the modern day. Ooh, modern music.

Starting point is 01:08:09 And it's based on a book series. Now, the first season starred Phoebe Dynevor. Anyway. God, I can't talk today. As Daphne Bridgerton. And her leading man, Simon Bassett, the Duke of Hastings, was played by the internet's favourite human being, Regé-Jean-Paul Page.

Starting point is 01:08:32 That's right. Paul Page. Let me try that again, colleagues. Good God, you can take all this out. Leading man, Regé-Jean Page. I did it. Wow. I did it.

Starting point is 01:08:41 Anyway, season two has come back in the last month or so. And all your favourites are there. All your favourites are there. Some of your favourites. Now, Bridgerton is famous for building up a whole lot of, like, wonderful sexy tension with also, like, incredible costuming, just, like, all the colour and all the delicious fun and gossip and just brilliant.

Starting point is 01:09:01 And season two, I feel, delivers and is just as good. Some people would argue that it's a little less, well, it's quite a lot less raunchy and therefore they preferred season one. I, however, think that they are both equally as excellent. Oh. Yes, and I really loved it. Now, Luterton season two, instead of following Daphne's storyline because she, spoiler alert, marries the Duke of Hastings

Starting point is 01:09:25 and is like happily entrenched with a child and la, la, la. Very good. It now follows her brother, Anthony Bridgerton, played wonderfully by Jonathan Bailey, and his quest to find a viscountess. So he's kind of like the head of the Bridgerton household. And because their father passed away, in the very first episode, it sets up that he was actually there

Starting point is 01:09:45 when his dad died and his dad was bitten by a bee sting. And so it kind of. He died from a bee. Yeah, he died from a bee. An allergic reaction. An allergic reaction anyway. And his mother was pregnant at the time. There's a whole kind of drama.

Starting point is 01:09:56 So it has a few flashbacks to that and kind of fleshes out his character a lot more. Because in the first season he was in it insofar that he was kind of having a secret love affair with an opera singer um but he was very I guess sort of closed emotionally and more of a you know like a fun party guy and couldn't ever commit to her and it becomes very clear why because he has a whole lot of issues based around the fact that he was so young when his dad died and he had to take on all this responsibility

Starting point is 01:10:25 and he saw love as being a means to be hurt because his mother, he saw his mother go through agony because her and her husband were so in love. And so he kind of resigned himself to the fact that he would never hurt someone like that or hurt himself like that. So he would never love. Wow. It sounds very Mr Darcy.

Starting point is 01:10:44 It completely is. I don't have time for love. I'm it sounds very Mr Darcy. It completely is. I don't have time for love. I'm too busy being proper and protecting myself. Exactly. Enter the Sharma sisters. So Kate, played by Simone Ashley, and Edwina, Sharithra Chardhan, and they sort of enter the scene as the new family. So everyone else are recurring characters,

Starting point is 01:11:02 but these two come in and immediately sparks fly. Wow. Everyone's like, wow. Is that what everyone's saying? Wow. Wow, look at these two. Well, in the very first episode, Kate is very headstrong and very smart and she's 26, so she's a little bit older.

Starting point is 01:11:16 Oh, over the hill. All in the world. Give it up. She's like an avid horse rider, which is frowned upon in the British universe. Women can't be on horses, especially alone. Anyway. Side saddle or regular saddle?

Starting point is 01:11:28 No, regular saddle. Oh, my God. She's really breaking all the barriers. Why? And so she's like riding and riding away on the horse and then he like sees her and thinks that she's distressed or something and it turns out she just races him and beats him. And then he's kind of met his match.

Starting point is 01:11:41 Oh. And so the second book is apparently one of the most anticipated for this remake because it's very Elizabeth, Mr Darcy-esque. I'm seeing a lot of parallels there. Very much so. Especially the bees thing. Didn't that happen in Pride and Prejudice? There's that bee attack, isn't there?

Starting point is 01:11:58 No. At the start, kills like half the people in that book. The first ten pages are just like, and there were so many bees and the bees just kept coming into the room. Pride and prejudice. Yeah. Bee catastrophe. It turns out there was a.

Starting point is 01:12:14 Bee invasion. Yeah. Turns out there was a man shoveling bees into the room. Turns out they all had a lot of bees in their bonnets. Am I right? Very good. Thank you. Can I get a high five?

Starting point is 01:12:23 That wasn't just a rhyme. You did the right thing. That was good. Thank you. Can I get a high five? That wasn't just a rhyme. You did the right thing. That was good. I know. Most of my jokes, if anyone hasn't noticed, aren't really jokes. No. They're mainly me making an accidental joke or rhyming. Does it make you laugh?

Starting point is 01:12:36 Or just repeating a phrase in a slightly different intonation. Oh, I love that. And yes, it absolutely does make me laugh. Then don't even worry about it. I was making fun of you, one of my favourite pastimes. Anyway, let's get back to the world of Bridgestone because the world is gloomy enough. Let's get back into some sexy dancing.

Starting point is 01:12:51 Do the bees show up again? Yes, she gets stung. Oh, my God, I love it. And that's where the first one where she gets stung on her bosom and he has a panic attack and she puts his hand on the bee sting and it's like it's just a bee sting because it happens in the same spot as his dad passed away. And she doesn't know at the time why he has this massive freak out

Starting point is 01:13:11 and they have all this like heavy breathing and like tension and then later and she finds out that's how his dad died. Anyway, so she helps him to unpack all his emotional baggage while also arguing with his kids. Is he allergic to bees? No, and she's not either. How do you know? Is he stung by any bees? No, and she's not either. How do you know? Is he stung by any bees?

Starting point is 01:13:27 No, that's true. He wasn't in the show. Who knows? Wow. Anyway. Didn't his father carry an EpiPen? No, not back in the day. Should have, though.

Starting point is 01:13:35 Yeah, but Bridgerton's modernised. All right, you're just ruining. I'm not ruining. I'm just asking questions. I'm just the guy who asks questions. All right. Anyway, sorry, go on. Anyway.

Starting point is 01:13:44 All right, what's your next one? Anyway, sorry, go on. Anyway. All right, what's your next one? Well, Claire, now I feel like an idiot because I don't have any kind of heartfelt book that any of my siblings read. That's the pace of this show, James. I recommend something beautifully written and heartfelt and then you recommend horror. Yeah, that's right. No, this isn't horror.

Starting point is 01:14:00 Or some kind of toasty in future. No, not this week, Claire. This week I'm recommending a Netflix movie. It's called The Sea Beast. Oh, I heard that you watched this. I did. On the weekend. We had a movie night while you were out gallivanting around town.

Starting point is 01:14:13 Who knows what you were up to. You know, Claire, I'm on the sea beast diet. You see beasts and you eat them? What does that even mean? It doesn't mean anything. I don't know why you said that. But anyway. You're in a really silly mood.

Starting point is 01:14:28 Claire, this is a movie directed by Chris Williams. You might be like, who's Chris Williams? Well, he directed the movie Big Hero 6. He also co-directed the movie Moana. He also directed the movie The Sea Beast. And I'm on the Sea Beast diet, Claire, because this story is about a young girl. It doesn't make any sense.

Starting point is 01:14:45 A young girl who stows away on a ship of a legendary sea monster hunter turning his life upside down as they venture into uncharted waters. It does sound a little like Moana. It is a bit of Moana. You're welcome. There's no songs, though. Zero songs. Oh, what's their point even?

Starting point is 01:15:02 Nah, it's good. This stars Carl Urban. People might know recently from The Boys. He was dreaded and dreaded 2020, 2012. 2020, 2012. He was in the Lord of the Rings movies. Also the son of Keith Urban. He's not

Starting point is 01:15:16 the son of Keith Urban. No. Do you know Carl Urban? Great Aussie country rock icon. Name one Keith Urban song. Married to Nicole Kidman. Name one Keith Urban song. Married to Nicole Kidman. Name a Keith Urban song. My name is Keith Urban and I like to wear a turban occasionally. If he wore a turban.

Starting point is 01:15:33 I'm drinking some bourbon. He can't drink bourbon. Keith Urban is sober because he's a known drug addict. So he lives a very straight-edged life. And if he wore a turban to one of his country and western shows, somebody would probably shoot him. My name is Keith Urban and I don't wear a turban. I also don't drink bourbon.

Starting point is 01:15:54 I'm still learning. And I love freedom. This is Carl Urban. You know Carl Urban? Yes, I do. He's cool. He's great. He is cool.

Starting point is 01:16:02 What else has he in? The three things that I named. Oh, yes. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was singing Keith Urban's song in my head. He's cool. He's great. He is cool. What else has he in? The three things that I named. Oh, yes. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was singing Keith Urban's song in my head. His iconic song. His bones in Star Trek. Here are some pictures of some roles that Keith Urban's son has played.

Starting point is 01:16:15 Yes. I reckon. He's New Zealand. He was in Lord of the Rings. Yes, I said that. Yes. God damn it, Claire. Gotcha.

Starting point is 01:16:22 Gotcha. He was in Thor Ragnarok as well. Who else rhymes with Urban? Turban, Rubban, Curban, Slurban, Furban. God damn it, Claire. Gotcha. He was in Thor Ragnarok as well. How do I see urban? Turban, rubban, curban, slurban, furban. No, can't think of anything else. Durban? Durban? That's not a word.

Starting point is 01:16:34 Urban, bourban, turban. That's it. Zurban? Flurban. Eurban. Zurban. What word rhymes? Suburban?

Starting point is 01:16:47 Oh, suburban. How could I not have thought of that? Wow. Incredible. My name is Keith Urban and I like to wear a turban. I also drink bourbon but not really. No, he doesn't. And I don't live in, I'm not suburban.

Starting point is 01:17:02 He might be suburban. I really stuffed that up. He probably lives on a ranch that he doesn't run. Yeah, he definitely does. I'm on RhymeZone.com. What other words? You've got suburban, bourbon, durban, turban, interurban, urban with an E. And then there are 100 ratings.

Starting point is 01:17:19 Right. We're going down to 92 here. Okay. Certain, version, burden. No, but that's not quite right, is it? Ridiculous. You can't have a 92% rhyming rating. It either rhymes or it doesn't. But, you know, if you were writing a song, you would kind of put those words in because

Starting point is 01:17:32 they have a similar rhyme. Yeah, you could give it the inflection. Yeah. You could. Anyway, God bless you, Keith Urban, whatever the songs are that you do. It also stars Zaris Angel Hattor. It stars Jared Harris also. Now, have you ever seen any of the movies How Many Dragons Are There?

Starting point is 01:17:51 Yes, I've seen that one. What's it called? There's So Many Dragons. There's So Many Dragons. Is this enough dragons for you? How to wear. How to train your dragons. How to train your dragons.

Starting point is 01:17:59 How to wear your dragons. Drink bourbon in a turban. That's right. Yes. Now, this is basically for a lack of a – comprehensively, if I was just to like in a nutshell, it's how to train your dragon but sea creatures. It's also a bit like, as you mentioned, it's a little bit Moana.

Starting point is 01:18:15 It's Pirates of the Caribbean-esque. It's about like – it's got like mythical creatures and big spectacular sea battles and monarchy – the monarchy ruining everything but maybe it's capitalism, Claire. Oh, no. Maybe it's capitalism. Not capitalism.

Starting point is 01:18:29 It's quite whimsical though and it's very funny. It's got good message. It's got good heart. And, again, like Netflix have done some really, like got some really great animated films like this I loved. I loved Mitchell's versus the Machines. I can probably think of a third example if I spin my wheels long enough and I haven't.

Starting point is 01:18:48 But if you're, yeah, I think if you're looking for like a good, you know, a pretty solid animated movie to watch with your kids or even if you dislike animated movies, you know, pretty fun storytelling of like mythical beasts and the like, maybe you should check this out. Why? While you're there, see if you can figure out another word that rhymes with urban.

Starting point is 01:19:06 Correct. That we haven't thought about. Exactly. Assertion? That's not quite right, is it? No. Herman? Herman.

Starting point is 01:19:15 This is a little Keith Urban for you. Nice. I'm Keith Urban. I like Uma Thurman. I also don't wear a turban. I hate this. Sometimes I don't drink bourbon, but mostly not. I don't ever actually anymore.

Starting point is 01:19:36 Do you consider this song a subversion? I'm often sort of a suburban. I'm not about gay conversion, which is good. That's good. I'm often sort of a suburban. I'm not about gay conversion, which is good. That's good. I'm constantly learning. This is great. About being Keith Urban. All right, we need to stop this.

Starting point is 01:19:54 Okay. I've noticed it in this Keith Urban song. He's certainly not singing very much. I know. It's the number one popular Keith Urban song in Spotify, but he's not in it. Maybe it's one of those ones that we've sampled. 151 million.

Starting point is 01:20:07 Incredible. 8.3 million monthly listens. Yeah, that's all me because I love whatever that song was. Anyway, it's on Netflix. It's free because Netflix is free. Just steal an account from somebody else, look through your neighbor's window, figure out the password. This is terrible.

Starting point is 01:20:21 Watch it. It's free. Netflix don't mind. They love bleeding money. Goodness gracious. I don't know if you've heard of a little band called Florence and the Machine. What are you saying? Florence.

Starting point is 01:20:36 Actually, I can't say it now. I can't say her name. Florence and the Machine. Gotcha. Good. Florence and the Machine. I got there. Florence and the Machine.

Starting point is 01:20:44 Have you heard of them, James? Yes, I have. Can you name one song? The song that goes, Oh, whatever. What is that? I don't know. That sounded like an elephant going to the toilet.

Starting point is 01:20:56 Look, I just picture Florence and the Machine and she's in like a big flowy 70 dress and she's got her bangs and she's waving her arms on stage. She's waving her arms. Yeah, but no, you don't have any songs? Got that song that goes, we built this city. We built this city. What about you've got the love, you've got the love. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:21:15 Yeah, I know that song. What about the dark days are over, the dark days are gone. You know the famous Lungs album she did that was bloody amazing? Don't know it. All right. Anyway, so you do know that they're very famous though. Sure. Anyway, I'm going to tell you about her because she's just dropped a new album

Starting point is 01:21:32 and it is so exciting and I've gone on a huge deep dive into her back catalogue of interviews and you know how much I love an interview with a musician. It's true. Anyway, so just a little history for anyone, well, mainly just for James because everyone else in the world bloody knows who they are. Florence and the Machine are an English indie rock band that formed in East London in 2007. There was very much a scene back then.

Starting point is 01:21:54 Absolutely. There's also a really cool song she released ages ago called King, which is one of the first she wrote for the album, and that's about she watched a lot of horror movies to get in the headspace for this. So recording and writing and producing in the studio, she'd projected all these horror movies onto the walls and you can hear it in the sound kind of clips that they've got

Starting point is 01:22:14 through every song. So you can hear the movies in the background. Yeah. It's like, ah, I'm being murdered. Ah, it's Jason. I'm in the movie Jason X, the one in space. Is that a horror movie? Which one?

Starting point is 01:22:29 Jason X. Yeah. Yeah. Jason X is the one where they go to space. What? They go to space. It's set in the future. They find Jason's body and it gets reanimated and then it gets super upgraded with nanotechnology.

Starting point is 01:22:41 I hate this. I hate this so much. I'm not to tell you. No, there's just a lot of like eerie, creepy sounds that they've obviously sampled. And it's terrifying because especially King, the actual film clip is so cool and weird. And she kind of comes in as a spectre and then murders her husband

Starting point is 01:23:00 or partner basically. Oh, no, you were telling me. You were showing me this. Yeah, and then she's like dancing with all these like dancers who are kind of dressed like medieval witches. It's so cool. Anyway, I just think she's incredibly powerful as a performer and also as a vocalist and she's just so cool and awesome.

Starting point is 01:23:17 It's interesting that did she ever address that temporary split with the Machine during the Rage Against the Machine period of the band? Was that like something that maybe there's been a – Is it a joke? Is it a joke that you're trying to – What? What are you talking about? Just answer my question.

Starting point is 01:23:33 Are you making a pun? You're making it funny. You're familiar with the band Rage Against the Machine. Yes, I know. Was that a joke? Was this a weird funny joke? They do the song that goes, we built this city. We built this city. We built this city.

Starting point is 01:23:46 She briefly mentions the rage against the machine split. It's quite awkward actually. I feel sorry for them. She really throws them under the bus. You know what? I'm sick of rages against machines since they recently went political. You know what I mean? It used to be just about the music.

Starting point is 01:24:02 Yeah, I know. Everyone's a sellout, aren't they? No, no, no, but they didn't used to talk about politics and now it's all about politics, music. Yeah, I know. Everyone's a sellout, aren't they? No, no, no, but they didn't used to talk about politics and now it's all about politics, Claire. Oh, I see. Yes, it's actually true. Listen to this. There was a dancing plague in 1518, which hundreds of citizens

Starting point is 01:24:16 of Strasbourg, then a free city within the Holy Roman Empire, now called France, danced uncontrollably and apparently unwillingly for days on end. The mania lasted for about two months before ending as mysteriously as it began. Okay. And look, there's pictures of them dancing. Look.

Starting point is 01:24:35 Like little goblins. So they didn't sleep? No, apparently not. They just danced for two months because you didn't die. I mean, maybe they took drugs or something. I don't know. That sounds like absolute bullshit, to be honest. Well, it sounds like bullshit to you because you don't like dancing.

Starting point is 01:24:48 But maybe even worse, James, imagine you don't like dancing and then you were just flailing about. I don't like dancing so much. And everyone could see your terrible dance moves. That's true. But I don't like dancing so much that that would not affect me. My anti-dancing immune system would suppress it. And I simply would not dance.

Starting point is 01:25:04 Here is the fact about you. You dance like you can't hear the music. Yeah. I dance like I don't want to be there, which is true. No, but you dance like when you actually do dance. Like we went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and you were dancing like you couldn't hear the music. But I appreciated that you would dance with me.

Starting point is 01:25:23 Yeah, well, I also thought you were tired. You didn't even want to dance. You're like, let's just sit down. The music was very loud. It was very loud. I know, but also I was tired. I'm just so tired currently. Anyway, moving along, Dance Fever album, Florence and the Machine

Starting point is 01:25:37 is very cool. Your turn. That computer noise that everybody heard just then, that was actually your computer if you're listening to that at home. Your computer did that. That wasn't my computer, was it, then, that was actually your computer if you're listening to that at home. Your computer did that. That wasn't my computer, was it, Claire? It was absolutely your computer. No, if you were listening at home, that was your computer at home.

Starting point is 01:25:50 You're so annoying. I was trying to skip over it. I actually also have a song to recommend. You reminded me of songs that everybody loves, classics from the past. All right. Hey, why do you always assume that it's going to be like a weird joke or a fake thing? Because usually it is.

Starting point is 01:26:02 Okay, can you at least give me the credit for once that it's not going to be something like that? And then you had a poem that turned out to be a poem I'd already read. That was a real genuine effort. You threw it in my face and I'm making another conscious effort to reach out to you on a musical level. Okay. Okay, can I play just a little bit of it?

Starting point is 01:26:16 You might be familiar with this. Last time you ended up just playing me someone, what's his face, tap dancing, Chris Hemsworth. Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth, yes. One of them. Both of them. Neither of them were tap dancing but they were dancing. This is from like 1996 I want to say.

Starting point is 01:26:29 Anyway. It's going to be like. What is this? What is this? Why are you dancing? Peaches. I love peaches. I like this song.

Starting point is 01:26:58 It's the song Peaches, Claire, by the President of the United States. Are you familiar with this song? I am. I love this song. I actually genuinely really like this song. It's just a song about peaches. That's not a real thing. I just remembered that song and then I played it. Mason, Claire, fuck. Listen, I do have a real thing.

Starting point is 01:27:20 That is a good song. Dog. I watched a movie called Dog. It's directed by Reed Carlin and also Channing Tatum. Oh, the Chans. Who also stars in the movie, what's it called? Sexy Men's Strip Teens. It's called Dog, Claire.

Starting point is 01:27:36 The movie's Dog. I said it already. I thought you meant the other Channing Tatum movie where he stars in it called Magic Mike. This is the movie Dog. They're doing Magic Mike 3, did you know? I didn't know. Did you? You're a fan of the Magic Mike movies? I don't know if you are, Claire. This is the movie Dog. They're doing Magic Mike 3, did you know? I didn't know. You're a fan of the Magic Mike movies? I don't know if you are actually.

Starting point is 01:27:49 I thought I would be. I watched the first one. I didn't mind the first one. I do like the dancing. Very fun. Like it. But then by the second one I was like, clearly the storyline is really lacking. People got a lot of time for Magical Michael.

Starting point is 01:28:01 You need to cut him some slack, mate. I liked the first one. I just wasn't that into the second one. Okay, fair enough. But the first one was a just wasn't that into the second one. Okay, fair enough. But the first one was a fun time. Apparently the stage show is actually amazing. Yeah, I bet it bloody is, mate. No, but I know people are like, but it's actually quite empowering

Starting point is 01:28:13 and feminist apparently and I didn't see it. But, you know, good on him. Good on him. Anyway, they're doing a third one. He's great. So he's coming back for Magic Mike's final. All right, cool. But that is not what we're talking about.

Starting point is 01:28:23 Is he in this movie? Yes, he's in it. He stars in it. He's in the movie.'s final showing of Dog. All right, cool, but that is not what we're talking about. Is he in this movie? Yes, he's in it. He stars in it. He's in Dog. This is the movie Dog. Anyway. Is he playing a dog that does striptease? Oh, God.

Starting point is 01:28:33 No, I don't think so. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. That's very funny. That's very funny. That's very funny. That's very funny. That's very good. You've broken your own brain. Rook-a-roo, you're harrowing. You're a rat-tongue.

Starting point is 01:28:56 You're a rat-tongue. Anyway. Anyways. I watched a movie. It's on Stan. It's a Stan exclusive, but you can catch it overseas, I believe, in cinemas. Stan is our Australian streaming service. It's on Stan. It's a Stan exclusive, but you can catch it overseas, I believe, in cinemas. Stan is our Australian streaming service. It's called Gold.

Starting point is 01:29:08 It's directed by Anthony Hayes, who directed Cargo. Did you ever watch the Martin Freeman Australian zombie movie? You know Martin Freeman from The Office? There's gold in them hills. Yes, there are gold in there. That's what this is about. So it starts. So, yeah, Anthony Hayes, did you see the Martin Freeman Cargo zombie Australian movie? Oh, sorry, you asked me that already, didn't gold in there. This is what this is about. So it starts. So, yeah, Anthony, did you see the Martin Freeman Cargo

Starting point is 01:29:26 zombie Australian movie? Oh, sorry, you asked me that already, didn't you? Yes. My brain checked out for a minute. I was singing the soundtrack from All About Love. Yeah, we were all here. About time. About time.

Starting point is 01:29:36 All of us heard it. You did it out loud. There's gold in them hills. Did you watch that movie? So don't lose faith. Did you watch that movie? So don't lose faith. Did you watch that movie or not, Claire? Which movie? I forgot.

Starting point is 01:29:51 Cargo. No, I didn't. Oh, it was very good. Anyway, he's done a few movies, but this is his latest. It stars Zachary Ephron. I did see, okay. Australia's Iron. Yes, I did see this on the app.

Starting point is 01:30:03 They did a very good job of featuring Zac Efron's face. Oh, his big gold face. Dirty, looking like he's been in a gold mine or something. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he is a gold mine, let me tell you. That's true. It also stars Anthony Hayes and also Susie Porter, who has been in heaps of Australian stuff, but she was,

Starting point is 01:30:20 when I first saw her, she was in two hands. Excellent. That is such a good movie. I have another question for you. Is it about gold in the hills? No. Is a rat catcher also in the movie? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:33 So basically we have rats in our house. Massive ones. And on podcast, it just kept me up all night last night barking and like staring at the floor. So we got a rat to come out and we're expecting like, I don't know, a grizzled old man with like a hooked hand and a net or something. But he's like this super handsome like fucking Zac Efron looking dude,

Starting point is 01:30:54 except he's like six foot two. And I came inside, I'm like, you fucking see this guy? Like he looks like Zac Efron. I actually think that you reacted more than I did. I just didn't expect it. Because I just wasn't really that phased by it. And you were like, he looks like Zac Efron. I actually think that you reacted more than I did. I did. I just didn't expect it. Because I just wasn't really that phased by it. And you were like, oh, my goodness. My panties are in a twist.

Starting point is 01:31:11 And you were like, he doesn't look like Zac Efron. I'm like, he looks exactly like, he looks like modern day bearded Zac Efron. If Zac Efron owned a rat catching business. Yeah. He also does other things. He does pet control. He does a number of things. He does.

Starting point is 01:31:23 Yeah, exactly. But so, yeah. No, it didn't start him. But it started a guy of things. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. No, it didn't star him, but it starred a guy who looks like him, that being the actual Zac Efron. So it's filmed in Australia in the Australian Outback. And what you're going to love about this, Claire, and I didn't know this going in, it's post-apocalyptic. Didn't know it going in.

Starting point is 01:31:38 Okay. We are nothing if not extremely consistent. It's true. I'm so sorry. I did not know it was post-apocalyptic going in. Also, it sort of doesn't matter whether it is or isn't. Is this also because Zac Efron is living in Byron Bay currently? He's doing also, yeah, it probably is.

Starting point is 01:31:55 Yeah, that's definitely, well, actually it was supposed to be Sam Worthington. So he dropped out for whatever reason and Zac Efron took it, which is great. I mean, I like Sam Worthington. He kind of gets a bit of heat, but, you know, I also like Zac Efron. Yeah. You know, because he was in like the most popular movie of all time

Starting point is 01:32:10 and then people are like, look at this famous guy, and most of the world's like, nah, we don't really want to look at this guy that much actually. But I like him. I actually do like Sam Worthington. Anyway, so that is exactly what it is. I will say with Efron that he went from shiny, shiny, shiny in High School Musical. To gross. And really true. No, I reckon he's got way better looking over time. I will say with Efron that he went from shiny, shiny, shiny. Yeah. In High School Musical.

Starting point is 01:32:25 To gross. And really, no, I reckon he's got way better looking over time. I agree, yeah. As obviously I'm older, he's older. But it's just he's managed to transition. Yeah. Because he is very talented. Well, I mean, he's always been very talented, you know,

Starting point is 01:32:38 and I think I know he like looks back on like his early high school musical stuff and he's like, oh, gross or whatever. But like he's very talented. He's like extremely talented. He's one of those people that can also do comedy. Yeah, exactly. Which is excellent. What is that movie that he's in with Matthew Perry?

Starting point is 01:32:54 Oh, 17 Again. It's a great movie. I always liked 17 Again. I really enjoyed that movie. He's really fun at that. Yeah, I really liked it. It's so interesting. Yeah, so he's just got a really great comedic timing.

Starting point is 01:33:04 And he's also in like a couple of rom-coms on Netflix, I think. Yeah, he's done like Bits and Pieces and he's in Neighbours. Have you ever seen that Neighbours movie with Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne? Yeah, he's clearly, like he's funny. He was in Baywatch with The Rock, which is apparently not a good movie. I wonder if he's like short with Big Head. I think he's short with Big Head. Many movie stars are.

Starting point is 01:33:24 I don't think he's, let me big head. I think he's short with big head. Many movie stars are. Let me check. Zac Efron height. Normally the height is exaggerated by a couple of inches, but it says he's 173 centimetres, so he's shorter than me because I'm 5'9". So he's probably 5'7", maybe. All right, so he's a couple of centimetres. He's like four centimetres taller than me. Oh, you'll probably find that you're taller centimeters taller than me. Oh, my goodness.

Starting point is 01:33:45 You'll probably find that you're taller than Zac Efron. Yeah, I will. I usually think I'm taller than I am. It's my inflated ego. Yeah. All right, my turn again. It's been rumoured that he wears shoe lifts or elevator shoes. Oh, there you go.

Starting point is 01:33:59 Does he do the – who's taller, Zac Efron or Tom Cruise? They'd probably be similar, I reckon. Yeah, that's what I'm wondering because does he have to also play roles with women who are tiny to make him look bigger? Yeah, maybe. Most people in Hollywood are tiny. It's just the way of the world. It must be the framing of the camera.

Starting point is 01:34:17 Who knows? Actually, on The Phantom Menace, the set of The Phantom Menace, they built The Phantom Menace, right, sets, and a lot of the, to a certain extent, like they build, you know, like six feet or seven feet and then the rest is blue screen or whatever. But the problem is when Liam Neeson came on set, Liam Neeson's like 100 feet tall. So they then had to like great expense like extend these sets

Starting point is 01:34:39 because Liam Neeson is one of the few people in Hollywood who's like a literal giant. Is that why he's always playing movies where people have to, he beats up everybody? Yes. Because he's giant? And there's also a rumor about. He's very good in love actually though. He's good.

Starting point is 01:34:54 He's 193 centimeters. So yeah, he's big. Who is? Liam Neeson. Oh, Liam Neeson. He said Tom Cruise. How big is Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise, I don't know, four foot two.

Starting point is 01:35:03 I want to know. Who's taller? Tom Cruise or Zac Efron? Probably like five probably like 5'6", 5'7". We can find this out. We can't. We don't have any definitive information on it. What do you mean? He's probably about, we don't know.

Starting point is 01:35:14 It says 1.7 metres. Yeah, he could be, but he could be shorter. That's like officially, that's his official Google height. All right, yeah, it's just come up. It's weird. It's a very exact height, 1.7. There's no, like, little – surely there's, like, little – so there's no – you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:35:32 Like, there's usually dot points there. When I say Liam Neeson's really tall, he's 6'4", which is tall, but, like, if you saw a 6' tall guy, you're not, like – From Hollywood. Yeah, that's, like, extraordinary Hollywood tall. Like, real person tall, that's tall, but it's not, like, turn your head and be like, God, this is a giant tall guy. Dustin Hoffman is that's tall, but it's not like turn your head, my God, this is a giant tall.

Starting point is 01:35:46 Dustin Hoffman is 1.67. Yeah, he's tiny. So Tom Cruise is taller than Dustin Hoffman. He might be. But Brad Pitt is 1.8, which is the same height as Nicole Kidman. I'm finding this really fascinating. If Brad Pitt is 1.8 because he's probably not. All right.

Starting point is 01:35:59 Also because he's inflated too. They're all inflated. So weird. Celebrities are weird, man. Yeah. Oh, they're weird. Anyway. Anyway, as a man who is six foot, so it's, you know, whatever. He's totally not. Do you sometimes think I'm taller than you, but no.

Starting point is 01:36:15 No, you're like half a head shorter than me. I just love how Mace are your co-host on your other more successful podcast. It makes me cry every time I say it. Nick Mason, everyone thinks that you're regular man height, so Nick Mason is not a short person, except that you're a littler person, so he's littler than you. Because Mason's probably 5'7", maybe. Yeah, yeah. So people think I'm fucking giant, but I'm like 5'9", maybe 5'10 in shoes.

Starting point is 01:36:39 That's the rule of podcasting. Everyone's tiny. Yeah, that's right. You have to be. You have to be truthful about it. This isn't Hollywood. No, this is podcasting. Everyone's tiny. Yeah, that's right. You have to be. You have to be truthful about it. This isn't Hollywood. No, this isn't podcasting, mate. Everyone gets to the kernels of truth.

Starting point is 01:36:50 That's it. So the second thing I have, I promised a book. Is it celebrityheights.com? That's not a book. That's a website that I like to spend an inordinate amount of time on. We should play a game just who's tall and who. But then obviously, as you say, we don't actually know if they're actually there are sites dedicated to like different pictures different shoes standing next to different people for references i literally just brought that up just then trying to find

Starting point is 01:37:12 like heights i just went down this really brief like a rabbit hole why is that so interesting i have no idea why that's no the most interesting thing to me is that they're lying like the truth is not that interesting. You know, if they were like Tom Cruise is like 5'5 or whatever. Yeah. I'd be like, okay. But now I'm like, how tall is he really? Is he taller than me?

Starting point is 01:37:34 I hope not. That's so funny. You know? Yeah, I know. George Clooney, apparently very small as well. Very tiny. Yes, tiny, big head. Tiny, tiny guy. And Jason Statham. Jason Statham, very short. Tiny, big head. Yeah, tiny, big head. Tiny, tiny guy. And Jason Statham.

Starting point is 01:37:45 Jason Statham, very short. Tiny, big head. Yeah, tiny, big head. Yeah, interesting. So maybe Nicole Kidman, she's 1.8. That's not that tall. I would say. I think she's giant.

Starting point is 01:37:55 I'm guessing. I'm guessing she probably is exactly 1.8, you know? Yeah. If not taller. Yeah. Because I think it's different for women. Yeah, it totally is. Oh, completely.

Starting point is 01:38:06 Because she's sort of known as being very tall. But at one point, no, she's not that tall. No. For women. I mean, I guess, I don't know. Anyway, let's move on. Anyway, how tall are you? Email in.

Starting point is 01:38:17 Tell us. We'll arrange our listeners. All ten of them in our order. Smallest, largest. Come on, Claire. We've got more than ten listeners. We do. And we value of largest. Come on, Claire. We've got more than ten listeners. We do. And we value you immensely.

Starting point is 01:38:28 Come on, Claire. Every one of you. You guys are the best. We literally have the best listeners. I always get the best emails. And we love our short kings out there. Have you heard that expression? What does that mean?

Starting point is 01:38:35 Short kings if you're small but you're not like it's not a big deal. You know what I mean? You can be whatever height. It's called short king. It's all about confidence. Would you say this about if you were dating a man, say a short man. It's like a bald thing as well. Yeah, I guess it is.

Starting point is 01:38:47 But like it's how you carry yourself, you know. Right. There's an episode of Sex and the City on that. Exactly. And just like that, let's get off this fucking topic. Okay, my short king. Short king of my life. I know.

Starting point is 01:39:04 Would I take another couple of inches? Sure. My brother. Your brother is upset. My brother is like one of the like very intelligent ducks of his class, doctor, just like very smart and incredibly. Very tan. Very tan.

Starting point is 01:39:20 There's a butt coming though. You can feel it if you're listening to this. No, but what makes me laugh so much is because like he's very photogenic as well. Oh, yeah. Just like a human being that people like would photograph and no matter what angle, he just always manages to look good in photos. I look like a ghost in photos. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 01:39:36 The chins that come out in photos of me. I mean maybe they exist in real life but honestly it's just getting worse. My whole face is sliding into my neck and I'm not coping with it. But I am because I'm a feminist and it's not about what I look like, it's what I do and who I am. And you're making the right alarm. My brother, of all these things, he has an asthmatic. He has a lot of allergies and he took a lot of like cortisone

Starting point is 01:39:59 or whatever as a kid to like help with his asthma and he reckons it stunted his growth. I don't think so. He's like quite a good athlete too and he just never grew tall. I think he's just like. He's got quite big hands and feet. But I think like your family, like my family, is the biggest fucking roll of the dice of how tall you're going to be.

Starting point is 01:40:17 Like my two brothers, I'm the shortest. My little brother is like 6'2", 6'3". He's massive, yeah. My other brother's probably 6 foot, you know. Yeah. And look'3". He's massive, yeah. My other brother's probably 6'4", you know. Yeah. And look at me. It's short, Keith. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:40:30 Not really. But, yeah, it is interesting, isn't it? I don't know. And that's like my family too. I mean, your grandpa was like one of the tallest people I've ever met. Yeah, he was the tallest man from his era. He was towering over everyone. It was amazing.

Starting point is 01:40:39 But your grandma was so tiny. She was. So that's probably where the height thing happened. Yeah, my family, that's true. You could roll the dice. And now I do have some quite short uncles. It's true. So I feel like my brother always thought he was going to be tall.

Starting point is 01:40:51 Well, he told me. I remember because I'm like 10 years older than him. He's like, I'm going to be taller than you one day. And I'm like, okay. But he's not. And it's too late now. He can't catch me. Yeah, because you've known him since he was like 12 or something.

Starting point is 01:41:03 We might actually be the same height. I have no idea. Anyway, I just find that it's really funny anyway. Anyway, because you've known him since he was like 12 or something. We might actually be the same height. I have no idea. Anyway, I just find that it's really funny anyway. Anyway. Anyway, I hope he hears this. Do you want to start a song? Do we ever. Well, well, well.

Starting point is 01:41:13 Yes, I certainly do. All right. So I have lots of books actually, which is very exciting. And I'm going to do the first one. Oh, God. This is us. I finally got some time to read some books in my own little hot little hands. Now, what I have for you, James, what are you looking at here?

Starting point is 01:41:28 That's my book. Is it the Christmas present I gave you that you did not open? I haven't read it yet. No, you haven't. I like Trent Dalton, though. I like his other book called Books. I know you do, and it's also called Love Stories, and I wrote in a description that was very lovely and thoughtful,

Starting point is 01:41:43 and you have not cracked it open at all. I didn't know you wrote a description. Yes, you haven't even read it. Let me read it now. I'll read it out. No, it's really, no, it's too embarrassing. It's private. It's private.

Starting point is 01:41:54 It's a private inscription, but it's lovely. It's romantic and it'll make you cry when you finally bloody open it. I don't cry. Anyway. I only cry when Luke Skywalker shows up in the Mandalorian. Anyway. Like a man. I thought I would do that thing where I recommend't cry. Anyway. I only cry when Luke Skywalker shows up in the Mandalorian. Anyway. Like a man. I thought I would do that thing where I recommend you a thing

Starting point is 01:42:08 and I buy you a thing and you don't open it. And so then I force you to listen to it on the show. That's right. Here we go. What do we got? Anyway, I'm going to read this bit and then you're going to read the whole thing and you're going to feel terrible that you didn't open my cruises present over the summer when we were stuck inside doing nothing.

Starting point is 01:42:21 Joke's on you. I don't feel anything. Here we go. It's called The Crossing. All right. See this restless city. See the way that dad in the business shirt and tie reaches his right arm out to grip the left hand of his daughter.

Starting point is 01:42:31 Hang on. I'm sorry. That dog is up to mischief in the other room, our puppy. I need to put her out because there's a bunch of stuff in there that she's just going to chew through. All right. I don't trust that dog. You just ruined the moment.

Starting point is 01:42:43 No, I was never in a dog. What are you up to? Now I'm regretting thinking about reading this out. Oh, no. I feel like maybe you just need to read it alone. I apologise. Please continue. No, I'm regretting this now.

Starting point is 01:42:55 No, no. I thought it was going to be good and now I'm regretting it. No. I have serious regrets. It's only magical. I'm going to cry. Oh, God, maybe you're not. All right.

Starting point is 01:43:02 Anyway, I'll just read it. The Crossing. See this restless city. See the way that dad in the business shirt and tie reaches his right arm out to grip the left hand of his daughter, waiting for the little green man to flash and tell them when to walk across Adelaide Street and into Queen Street Mall. The girl's in her school uniform and looks about 12.

Starting point is 01:43:23 And if she's anything like my 12-year-old daughter, she probably doesn't hug her old man as much as she used to. But look at them at the traffic lights. He's reaching for her hand instinctively because there are fast-moving cars about and at least six grumbling council buses. He's probably been doing that protective reach for her hand ever since she could run.

Starting point is 01:43:43 Nothing more terrifying than a wide-eyed toddler on the loose and approaching the ever-enticing push button of a busy traffic-like crossing. It's true. She'd probably refuse his hand if her friends were about, but there are only strangers here. So he knows he can hold her hand tight and she knows she can let him. And for the next 10 seconds of that dad's life, he knows for certain that she's safe and

Starting point is 01:44:05 she's secure. And he's so clearly and definitely doing the one thing he's certain now that he was put on this earth to do, to be a father for her. And I know for a fact he wishes he could stop time here and now because he knows that she will grow. He wishes he could change the world and the way it spins. But he knows the only person with the power to change the world is her. She will grow. He wishes he could change the world and the way it spins. But he knows the only person with the power to change the world is her. She will grow because she must. She will soon discover the music of the Smiths and she will teensplain Johnny Marr's guitar playing to her father like she was the first person in the world to ever truly appreciate it. She will take two or three puffs on a joint at her friend Kayla's 17th birthday party

Starting point is 01:44:46 and realise she gets a better high from the words of Emily Bronte. Her first car will be a second hand red Toyota Yaris and she will fall in love with a boy named Arizona who plays bass in a punk band called Forked Tongue and that boy will break her heart. She'll work hard for no money and then she'll work hard for lots of money and she will meet someone true and then one perfect and quiet afternoon she'll ask her father to walk her down the aisle of Our Ladies of Victory's church in Bowen Hills and they will hold each other's hands as tightly as they hold them now at this crossing. But there'll be no flashing green man to tell them when to walk down that aisle safely and securely.

Starting point is 01:45:26 They'll have to make that decision for themselves, daughter and dad together. He would do anything for her, but at the end of that church aisle, he'll have to do the one thing he never really ever wanted to do for her, let go of her hand. But for now, for the next 10 seconds of that father's life, she can stay right there in his grip. She can stay. Then comes the inevitable push-button buzz of life and she lets go of his hand. She lets go of him. And she's off, two paces ahead of dad as she crosses the street and the little green man rushes more than anyone because the little green man knows that life's too short and moves too fast for fathers. And that particular one in the business shirt and tie

Starting point is 01:46:10 crossing the street has about as much chance of keeping up with his daughter as he does of stopping time. Oh my God, Claire, what are you doing to me opening the year with that? You are killing me. You're breaking my heart, Claire. You're breaking my little heart. Read the bloody book, mate. I'll read the book. I want to read it. I just haven't. Do you know why?

Starting point is 01:46:31 Because I've been playing Transformers every day. I know. I know. When have I had a chance to sit down and read a book? I don't know. Anyway. I've been listening to political commentary and being like, oh, my God, I hate this. I know.

Starting point is 01:46:43 And that's why I think you should read this book. If anyone's feeling miserable about the world, just read it. It's just full of- Oh, it's heartbreaking, Claire. I hated that. Why would you read it? Oh, what? No.

Starting point is 01:46:53 It's just- It's so beautiful. All right. Anyway, so that's my recommendation. God, Claire, you're killing me. You could have saved that to the end. Terrific. Well, Claire, I can't believe you snuck in two great things into one segment.

Starting point is 01:47:04 Thank you very much. It should be. Speaking, Claire, I can't believe you snuck in two great things into one segment. Thank you very much. It should be. Speaking of history, this is interesting to you. So there's actually hasn't been a new Mario Strikers game in about 15 years. Oh, God. Here we go. But here we go, Claire, because the third game in the Mario Strikers

Starting point is 01:47:19 series was recently released. Mario Strikers, for people who don't know, is basically four on four soccer on the Nintendo Switch. But guess what, Claire? What, James? It's all the Mario characters. I'm talking Mario. I'm talking Luigi. I'm talking Bowser. I'm talking Peach. I'm talking Rosalina. I'm talking Toad. I'm talking Yoshi. I'm talking Donkey Kong. How long does this go for? I'm talking Wario. I'm talking Waluigi. Those are all the characters. There might be some in downloadable content down the line.

Starting point is 01:47:50 Now, this game was actually developed by Next Level Games, and you might be like, what are they famous for? I don't know that name. And yes, Claire, you're right, because they actually did the last Luigi's Mansion game, number three, from a few years back. They also did Captain America Super Soldier from 2011, the tie-in Captain America game to the movie Captain America. There was also a Punch years back. They also did Captain America Super Soldier from 2011, the tie-in Captain America game to the movie Captain America. There was also a Punch-Out.

Starting point is 01:48:08 Remember the series Punch-Out on the Super Nintendo? This was a relaunch of that, which they did in 2009. So, yeah, as you are probably imagining, they have actually worked in-house at Nintendo before. Now, this time around. How long does this go for? This time around, right, you need to hear this. As I mentioned, it's four on four,

Starting point is 01:48:26 and you can actually do up to eight players, multiplayer, if you are keen. And as our son said, and I'm sure he's told you, you know what the rules are in this game, Claire? Do you know what they are? Yes. No, tell me what they are. There are no rules, Claire.

Starting point is 01:48:38 That's what he says. There are no rules. But guess what? There are some rules and here are the rules. There are no out of bounds. Do you know why? Why? Because the fence and boundary are electrocuted. So if somebody's running and they got the ball,

Starting point is 01:48:49 you can like knock them and they fall into the electric fence. Can I just say I tried to play this game and I felt like I was going to have a seizure. Yeah. I actually just had to say no. I just say no now. No, thank you. It's too much. But I bet you like this part.

Starting point is 01:49:02 You can actually also use classic Mario items on the field. Turtle shells, for example. You can throw a green turtle shell. You might use a banana peel like you might use in a Mario Kart. You throw down a banana peel. You use a Bob-omb. They do a big explosion. Why is it called a Bob-omb?

Starting point is 01:49:17 It's just what they're called, Claire. They're called Bob-ombs. Bob-omb this whole thing. Yeah, and also you can also use a classic, obviously, mushroom boost to make yourself run just that little bit faster. Now here's something that's unique to this game. Wait, I have a question first. Yeah. And also you can also use a classic, obviously mushroom boost to make yourself run just that little bit faster. Now here's something that's unique to this game. Oh wait, I have a question first. Yeah. Can I stab myself in the eye? You absolutely can. You at any point in time, you can stab yourself in the eye. Now here's something that I think sets apart this from other Mario soccer games. Potentially I haven't played the other ones. You get a pack

Starting point is 01:49:40 of Tim Tams? I wish there's a glowing orb that comes down from the ceiling, right, and it lands in the center of the arena. Speaking of, the arena is split into two. Each player can choose a different half of the arena. So someone might pick, like, you know, a Super Mario world or whatever where it's all green lands and acres and hills. On the other side, you've got Bowser's Castle, Claire. They're mixing it up. There's volcanic rock.

Starting point is 01:50:03 There's lava. So that's good like the aesthetic of it is uh it's quite interesting but anyway glowing orbs drop down you're gonna get that orb as quickly as possible because if you can get hold of that orb and then get inside of your half of the soccer pitch you can do something which is called a hyper strike which is a timed goal where if you hit it just perfectly your character will do a special predetermined currently just predetermined i'm just hanging out in the ceiling now yeah yeah yeah predetermined asking myself why did i get myself into this situation and when it's going to be over the move also correlates with the character and then i'll

Starting point is 01:50:41 do a big kick and then if you time it rightly, you'll get that goal. If you miss, you'll probably miss the goal. But you know, you can get lucky. You can get lucky every now and then. All right. I have another question. Oh, sorry, go on. I have one more question. My son insisted on telling me that sometimes Peach makes people fall in love with her so

Starting point is 01:50:57 that they miss their goal. Yeah, that's true. That's part of her hyper strike. That is correct. I really hate that. What? Because it's sexist. It's not sexist.

Starting point is 01:51:05 Does any of the men make them like her fall in love with them or other men fall in love with them? It's a great question. Thank you for asking. No. Waluigi. It's very gendered. Waluigi is a lover and he has a rose in his mouth

Starting point is 01:51:17 while he's doing his particular hyperstrike. Yeah, but does Peach become overcome? No. Exactly. He's not a sexy man. Have you seen Waluigi? Yeah, no good. He overcome? No. Exactly. He's not a sexy man. Have you seen Waluigi? Yeah, no good. He's a creep.

Starting point is 01:51:28 No good. What is so Peach sexy? No, no. God, Claire, what is wrong with you? See, exactly. It's so messed up. Why have that in a kid's game? And clearly my son was like, albeit this is a bit weird,

Starting point is 01:51:38 because he kept saying it to me over and over until I was eventually like, yeah, it's so weird. Why is she doing that? Why can't she just be good at the soccer? Why does she have to overcome someone with her feminine wiles? It's a great question, Claire. Why can't she just overcome them with her skills? Yeah, that's great.

Starting point is 01:51:52 On the pitch. You're absolutely right. I don't disagree with that. Bloody sexist. She's actually a really, because all the players have different abilities, and I find her a really well-balanced player. She's got a bit of speed. They're all balanced differently.

Starting point is 01:52:04 Mario is obviously an all-rounder. Bowser is like he's big and he's strong, but he's slow, you know? They all have their advantages. But I don't disagree with what you're saying. These gender norms in Super Mario games, they've tried to move away from them, but you still- Yeah, there's always that people saving Peach all the time. Exactly. It's really annoying. Mario Odyssey, it's fine, because at the end, if they switch it up, I'm not going to spoil that game, but it switches it up at the end

Starting point is 01:52:25 of Mario Odyssey. What a game. Everyone should play Mario Odyssey. Anyways, all in all, it's fine as a game. It's fine. It's a fun little kids multiplayer experience. I wouldn't play it otherwise. It's soccer.

Starting point is 01:52:39 Is this over now? Only available on the Nintendo Switch. This is not sponsored. Speaking of, hang on, speaking of, their games are too expensive. They never on the Nintendo Switch. It is not sponsored. Hang on. Speaking of, their games are too expensive. They never drop them in price. There's a Mario game, even if it's 40,000 years old, it's always full price. That's not very nice. I agree. But then again, I don't really care. That's interesting that you say that because we stole money from your wallet to buy this game. How could you? I don't have any real

Starting point is 01:53:03 money anymore. That's right. And you know what else you don't need money for? Review buy this game. How could you? I don't have any real money anymore. That's right. And you know what else you don't need money for? Reviewing this show. Escaping this room. No, you need money for that. Claire, we've got to do something before we go, okay? Okay. You are going to watch the new trailer for Thor Love and Thunder.

Starting point is 01:53:17 Oh, whoa. And then, so we're just going to pause this here, and then you're going to tell people what you think of it. Would you like me to send you the link? Okay. All right. I'll come around and we'll watch it and then we'll come back and discuss it afterwards, okay?

Starting point is 01:53:28 Okay. Here we go. Oh, God. You didn't tell me this was happening. Why? Why do I have to watch this? Because you make me sing songs. Oh, what?

Starting point is 01:53:38 No, but now what if I don't like it? So am I supposed to give my impression in real time? No, you don't have to give it in real time. Can I tell the people what's happening? No, they've seen it? They've all seen it. Have they? Yes. Not everyone.

Starting point is 01:53:48 I haven't bloody seen it. You won't breathe it in if you don't. Okay, fine. Okay, small boy running very fast, getting bigger in dumb hat. Oh, now he's burying his pick. I mean, he's pretty hot, isn't he? It's a good song. I mean, he's pretty hot, isn't he? It's a good song.

Starting point is 01:54:12 Who's the woman who grabbed onto his axe thing? It's a mystery, Claire. If you hadn't read the comics, you would know, but you have not. No, it's Jane Foster. It's Natalie Portman. Oh, I love Natalie Portman. She becomes Thor. Oh, that's cool. Good on her.

Starting point is 01:54:24 What did you think, Claire? It's not a pick or an axe. It's a hammer, isn't it? No, it is an axe. His hammer was shattered but it was reforged clearly because Natalie Portman is wielding it. Oh, I see. He's got a – his axe is called Stormbreaker.

Starting point is 01:54:38 I see. He built an infinity war so he could defeat Thanos. I see. Thanos. And it's a little like a Rocky sort of like montage. He's getting fit because remember he was out of shape. Yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Yeah, I'd forgotten.

Starting point is 01:54:51 Now he's trim again. He's got a little tum-tum and now he's getting all trim again. Exactly. I mean, he's a very good-looking man. You know what? A lot of people have been saying that. I just don't see it though, you know. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 01:55:04 I don't get it. Oh, look, it's niche. It's niche. Very niche. Yeah. Maybe for some people. Chris Hemsworth. Who knew?

Starting point is 01:55:10 Who knew? Who knew? Who knew? Look, that actually looked really fun. Yeah. I actually am really into that. I was expecting not to be into it. Here's my normie take on it.

Starting point is 01:55:19 Here we go. All right. Initially, I was like, ugh, can't be bothered. I don't like the bashy, crashy battles. I find it boring. I find, what's the point? Everyone wins in the end. There's just a lot of smashing.

Starting point is 01:55:30 Who cares? Who the fucking cares? Nobody does. Okay. Well, lots of people do. I don't care. It's boring and I fall asleep. But that looks like, I love a redemption story.

Starting point is 01:55:39 Yeah. And kind of like a fun, let's not take ourselves too seriously. And actually it reminded me, that's why I have enjoyed the Thor movies because – How many of the Thor movies have you actually seen? I don't know, but a few. And the Guardians are the same. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:55:53 I've enjoyed that vibe. It's the Tiger – Tiger Watiti? Tiger Watiti, yeah. Yeah, I really enjoyed his vibe and it was mainly the soundtrack. Yeah, totally. That makes a big difference, yeah. Yeah, so that looks kind of fun and the world looked kind of fun and cool and quite intricate.

Starting point is 01:56:09 So I'm kind of interested to see it. Then we will see it. Shockingly. We will see it in July together. Maybe you'll get through this one because you tried to watch Spider-Man No Way Home and you were just like, there's too many fucking Spider-Men in this. I hate it.

Starting point is 01:56:23 There's too many Spider-Men. Everyone's fighting. Everyone's, I'm the Vox Pus. I was a doctor and now I've got a thing in my brain. I don't know. Who's that one? I'm old, Spider-Man. I'm new, Spider-Man.

Starting point is 01:56:35 I'm Tony, Tobey Maguire. I'm Tony Maguire. I'm Tobey Maguire. I'm here in a weird jacket looking pretty old. Yeah, that was the first thing you said. You're like, he looks old. I'm like, yeah, he's like 46 years old. I mean, he looks pretty good.

Starting point is 01:56:50 He is good for 46. But, you know, I don't know. Andrew Garfield, though. I mean, I love him. But I would much prefer to watch him in a musical. Fair enough. Like Tick, Tick, Boom. I think he'd probably prefer that as well.

Starting point is 01:56:59 Yeah. That's not true. He likes Spider-Man. I mean, I don't know. Could everyone get over Spider-Man? What's going on there? No, people love that movie. It made a billion dollars. I just don't understand. I mean, I don't know. Could everyone get over Spider-Man? What's going on there? No, people love that movie. It made a billion dollars.

Starting point is 01:57:07 I just don't understand. Okay, here's my hot take. You need to have an investment in like all the other Spider-Man movies though as well. But I've watched most of them. No, but you don't care. You don't care about to talk in the choir. I liked the first version of the Tom Holland Spider-Man.

Starting point is 01:57:19 I liked that movie. It was really good. And I like Zendaya. I just. You didn't watch the one where he went to Europe on a little European adventure? There's too many. There's too many, or I've said it. There's too many Marvel movies. There's too many.

Starting point is 01:57:32 There's only like 22 or something currently out. Plus all the TV shows. I have been talking about Marvel movies on the periphery of my life for like 20 years now. And every bloody couple of months you're like, at this trailer oh it's come out oh i'm so excited it's another man in a suit yeah he's gonna have a little battle and

Starting point is 01:57:54 then there's some references to comics that i don't understand and look at his special powers and then it's everything's fine in the end can i recommend recommend to you at the very least? Oh, he's got some friends. They've all come together. They've all come together, yeah. Pew, pew, pew. Oh, I'm so sad. I think it's interesting. Everything's broken and the world's about to be taken over by a blue man. But it's actually not.

Starting point is 01:58:14 That's like every movie. There's a lot of blue men trying to take over the world. My mother. My son's dead. My mother's dead. My father's dead. I see what you're saying. But there's a parallel universe and now a version of me has come

Starting point is 01:58:31 out of the sky that looks like me but more like Tobey Maguire and I'm Spider-Man. You're Spider-Man. Everyone's Spider-Man. Where's Aunt May? Oh, my uncle's dead. I don't know. I hate it.

Starting point is 01:58:42 I'm over it. There's too many. There's just too fucking many of these movies. I can't handle it anymore. My brain is actually fried. If I could recommend one movie I think you would actually enjoy, aside from the quote I've been doing, shouting, why don't you watch the new Morbius movie?

Starting point is 01:59:00 Fuck no. Oh, my God. Because Morbius. If you have to say Morbius one more time. Unlike a regular vampire. He's a vampire doctor. He's a vampire. He's a doctor.

Starting point is 01:59:11 Via science as opposed to magic. And that's a very compelling idea of a man who turns himself into a vampire through using back blood and electricity or whatever happens. It's so stupid. Yeah, that's a brutal movie to watch. God. But I don't understand.

Starting point is 01:59:30 There's so many layers to that that I don't understand. I think it's evolving, though. I think it is in a period of, like, they're trying different things and kind of seeing and, you know, and I think it needs to evolve because of what you're talking about. What do you mean? The same movies with the same characters need to evolve? No, no, I think it is evolving.

Starting point is 01:59:47 I don't know what it's going to look like, but it needs to evolve also because it will lose people if it's just like one of these fucking things. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, they've evolved the whole time. Yeah, some more than others. But you can't evolve away from the fact that they're all the same fucking characters over and over again.

Starting point is 02:00:05 No, I think that's unfair. And I also think that like. You just told me there was like how many Spider-Man movies? In total, I don't know, 110. Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, I think the appeal of that movie is that you got them all together. But I think like outside of that and it's like an okay movie, but like the idea of seeing those three together is like.

Starting point is 02:00:24 You lost your time, mate. It was really fun to see. You got very sweaty. It was fun. No, I did not. You weren't even there. You weren't even there. I can imagine.

Starting point is 02:00:31 It was like when you watched the first version of the Superman movie and your hands were still sweaty. The Superman Returns. Yeah, that everyone hates but you loved at the time. I like, yeah, I'd still like that movie even though it was directed by an alleged sex criminal. Ah, that's fun. Oh, man. Anyways, what fun we've had this week. I'm sorry I made fun of your movie even though it's directed by an alleged sex criminal. Ah, that's fun. Anyways, what fun we've had this week.

Starting point is 02:00:47 I'm sorry I made fun of your movie. I don't give a shit. I didn't make them. Let me sit alone and listen to Marla Marlo and read my book about depressing women. Yeah, absolutely. Honestly, I'm like, I'm not, I didn't make these movies. They're not for everybody.

Starting point is 02:01:03 It's fine. But I've enjoyed, see, the thing for me, right, is as just like a regular punter. Yeah. I've really enjoyed them over the years. Yeah. And I've really seen what, particularly the Marvel ones, because we're paid by Marvel. I've seen.

Starting point is 02:01:16 Yeah. That's right. I've seen, I've really enjoyed them. I got really invested in them. I really liked them. I was annoyed that they didn't give more of the women their own movies but they've kind of rectified some of that. George Black Widow?

Starting point is 02:01:29 Yes, I did. I really enjoyed it. I liked it a lot. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. And I really liked Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman. I know it's not Marvel but I really enjoyed Wonder Woman as well. It's just that at a certain point how many movies is too many movies? No amount of movies is too many movies.

Starting point is 02:01:48 Anyway, maybe I'll come round to it again like your jokes. Actually, I'll tell you what, if anyone can get me over the line, it's a Chris Hemsworth thing. Well, that's true. I was going to say me. But yes, also you. But yeah, no, I think you might like this new one. Anyways, Claire, it's trailer reaction time.

Starting point is 02:02:03 Oh, God. As I know as it often is. Now this one you're going to love because I know you might like this new one. Anyways, Claire, it's trailer reaction time. Oh, God. As I know, as it often is. Now, this one you're going to love because I know you're a big fan of the original and I know you're a big fan of 3D. I hate 3D. You are going to watch Avatar, The Way of Water, the official trailer. Yes. Do I need 3D goggles?

Starting point is 02:02:19 No, you don't. It's only a minute 40. Oh, God. You're going to watch it and then we're going to come back and talk about it. Is this the one that you watched and it made you seasick or something? Yes, Claire. Because you're old and you can't handle 3D anymore? All right, the way of water, the way of snorter.

Starting point is 02:02:32 I meant snoring. That wasn't funny. So, Colleen, delete that joke. It wasn't a good one. Ah, it looks like a video game. No, Claire, it's real. Why are they skipping? Okay, I kind of actually really love this.

Starting point is 02:02:46 I know that you didn't like Avatar, but it's kind of beautiful world. It's not that I don't like it. It's a beautiful world. I just kind of didn't love the story, but it's an amazing world building. It just looks beautiful, right? Oh, blue waters with people. Oh, she looks very happy to see some fishies. Oh, I hate this part, though.

Starting point is 02:03:05 This is like the military bit. This is not anything. Why are they holding weapons? Oh, no, there's a war. Oh, no, she's riding some kind of water dragon. All right, he's holding hands with a whale. All right, I know you want me to hate this, but I love that. No, that's not why I show these.

Starting point is 02:03:24 I want your general, your honest opinion. I love that. I thought beautiful. But you also hate movies that recreate the environment. So is it because it's an alien planet you're okay with? Could you look at like The Lion King, which also I did not like. No, I hated that movie. Where they're like recreating nature.

Starting point is 02:03:41 Yes. You're like, just go outside. That's exactly right. But this, I don't know why I don't hate that. I feel like I should hate it. You know why? Because you're right, it's an alien planet. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:03:51 But I think the reason I do love it is because it's the theme of Avatar, which I know is really corny but I also think is really important, is that idea of our connection to the land and the earth. And because it's an alien kind of planet, we can look at that theme like Fern Gully, which I also bloody loved, and it's that commentary, right, about and I think because it's removed, it then makes you think about our own planet. Exactly.

Starting point is 02:04:20 And the beauty of our own planet because you're removed from it. It helps for some reason. I think it's a bit like you can't have two realistic looking CGI people because it just doesn't work. It's uncanny valley, yeah. Yeah, but because it's like removed, it makes you look at things differently. I don't know. I liked that.

Starting point is 02:04:39 Good. Did you want me to hate it? No, not at all. Like this is never to like get you to like, well, it's just I want your genuine reaction to things. All right. If people enjoy this segment where I spring a trailer on Claire every week and she has to watch it and talk about it, please let us know.

Starting point is 02:04:52 All right. That would be great. I feel like I didn't have any. Do you know why? Because I got totes of mosh. They got me. A family is a fortress. Green eyes staring at each other.

Starting point is 02:05:02 I loved it. I loved it. Hold hands of the whale. Yes. Hold hands with the whale. Yes, hold hands with the whale. Thank God. We're finally there. Thank God. Wow.

Starting point is 02:05:10 And also because the juxtaposition of like the horrible military bullshit, and I'm so sick of all of that. Can we just throw all of that into space? Into the ocean. I agree. I just had this idea in the middle of the night, and don't get me wrong, but I do think I'm a genius. I've cracked it.

Starting point is 02:05:24 I've cracked out all our problems. I can't wait for this. We just have to put all of the guns, explosive, nuclear weapons, all of the pollution, the entire Great Pacific garbage patch into a giant cannon and shoot it into space. And what happens if it doesn't make it to space? All the human beings just have to get all the rubbish and put them in one place and then we'll shoot it into the sky in a black hole.

Starting point is 02:05:48 And then our planet will be fine. Yeah, great. You know there's not a black hole near Earth. Yeah, I know, but you shoot it far enough, they can do things. Let it get Elon Musk on it. It can get some kind of penile-shaped spaceship. Can we get someone good on it as opposed to Elon Musk? Yeah, but we need him distracted.

Starting point is 02:06:04 He's got Twitter now. You know? I don't know. I don't want to get into it. I don't want to get into that. Anyway, all I'm saying is that's what we need to do. It's not feasible because if it does, say that rocket exploded. I'm a genius.

Starting point is 02:06:15 I refuse to hear any reprisals on how excellent my plan is. There's no profit in it, so the people wouldn't do it. Anyways, do you know what there is profit in? This podcast, if it continues to grow from its five-star reviews, which you can actually do in-app. Thank you. This is from Suggestive Pineapple. Can you believe this review?

Starting point is 02:06:30 What a sexy name, Suggestive Pineapple. Hi, I'm the spiky pineapple. This one's directed to you specifically more than me. Actually. It's titled Rage Machine. I don't know. Having sex with a pineapple would be very uncomfortable. It's the least sexable fruit, I feel.

Starting point is 02:06:44 It's very spiky. Anyway, Suggestive Pineapple says, has anyone else noticed that Claire has had more raging outbursts since doing this podcast with James? Anyway, five stars. It's interesting. Something to think about. Yeah, it's interesting.

Starting point is 02:06:57 It's almost like a woman's on the edge. It is a bit like that. She's on the edge. She's about to. She has great ideas, like putting all the fruit into space or whatever you were talking about before. All the suggestive pineapples. Do we have any email this week?

Starting point is 02:07:11 Correct, we do. All right, that's the end of the show this week, everybody. No, I have a great email. Oh, well, I've got another recommendation. Oh, cool. Okay. Fire away. Are you familiar with Transformers Devastation?

Starting point is 02:07:25 Transformers Devastation is an action hack and slash video game based on the Transformers franchise developed by Platinum Games. They recently was a minor controversy because of their new game, Bayonetta, and it's published by Activision. This was released in 2015, and I never finished it, Claire. I never finished it because we had kids, and I got stuck on 11, and I'm like, I'm sick of infighting all these insecticons, I said, and I turned it off. Anyway, our son's been asking about ages, like, what's this?

Starting point is 02:07:50 And I'm like, it's too hard. You won't like it. Anyway, so I turned down the challenge on it and he just like blasted through it. It's a single player game. That's his one criticism. Every time he plays it, he's like, this game should have two player, he says. And these are the Autobots you can play as optimus prime bumblebee side swipe wheel jack and do you want to take a guess on the last one that's right it's grimlock no there's no transformer called poo um now

Starting point is 02:08:17 obviously as we know it transforms into a poo and then back into a toilet. Is he a triple changer? Like does he turn into a robot man form? Yeah. So he's a triple changer. He's a triple changer. That's great. So it's a robot and a toilet and a poo. Is that right?

Starting point is 02:08:37 That is 1,000% accurate. Okay. That is how I want to play this. But his name is also poo. Is that right? Okay. That's it. Anyway to play this. But his name is also Pooh. Is that right? Okay. That's it. Anyway, obviously.

Starting point is 02:08:46 You've nailed it. Obviously fairly soft but not too soft. Like it's not a runny Pooh. It has to hold its shape. Of course he does. It is a robot. He's got a robot in there. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:08:56 Now often when Transformers change into something, though, they might keep like a mechanical form. So it's hard to replicate organic material. Yes. Does it look like a metal Pooh or does it look like a poo you would find? It looks like a robot, like a poo that you would imagine a robot taking out. So it's kind of like all. Taking out?

Starting point is 02:09:13 Of what? As in like their bottom. Like do robots poo? No. But if they did, that's what this poo looks like, like kind of like amalgamation of all their parts. Okay, let's break this down. What is the benefit of a transformer looking like a poo?

Starting point is 02:09:29 A robot poo that doesn't exist? It's an approximation of what you'd think it would look like. Does that mean you drop it behind like a Decepticon and you'd be like, who did this? I don't know who did this poo. Yes. Because we don't poo, do we? It's disguise.

Starting point is 02:09:47 Wouldn't it be better to change into like a tank? Everyone avoids dog poo. It looks a bit like dog poo. But it's not though. It's got a film around it. It's got a film around it. Like a brown film. Inside is like crushed up robot.

Starting point is 02:10:01 But on the inside is like brown poo. You've gone mad. And then people would avoid it. But then all of a sudden inside it's like brown poo. You've gone mad. And then people would avoid it, but then all of a sudden, a bittatong, it's actually a robot. It like kills you or blasts you with a thing. And then it's like actually no, back into a poo. Occasionally a toilet because also sometimes. Why the toilet?

Starting point is 02:10:18 Because if you're not, if you're inside, it's less likely for there to be a dog poo except if you live in our house with a puppy at the moment. So you'd have to hire something else, so you'd hire the toilet. Yeah, but there already is a toilet in all homes. So where's the toilet? And if you live there, you're going to know if a second toilet turns up. Yeah, but, James, you're overthinking this.

Starting point is 02:10:39 Am I? Or are you underthinking it? People are just thinking, oh, how convenient, a second toilet in their kitchen. And then they would use that toilet, a toilet they found in their kitchen. Potentially. That would just go straight to the floor, presumably. Yeah, that would be awkward.

Starting point is 02:10:55 This is insane. This is the worst thing you've ever said. I mean, the toilet form is not one they use a lot as a triple changer. It's mainly poo to robot. Back it up. This show, we should cancel it. And not because we've peaked. This is obviously a trough.

Starting point is 02:11:16 Poo to robot. Poo to robot. Anyways. Transformers, more than meets the eye. Oh, I love it. In this case, it's a Pooh. Now, obviously, each of the characters have their own benefits and drawbacks.

Starting point is 02:11:33 Bumblebee is smaller, which means he's quicker, but his attacks are weaker. Optimus Prime is more of a middle ground. Grimlock, slow but really heavy attacks. It's also cel-shaded, which means it looks a lot like the 80s cartoon and also brought back all of the voice cast who were still alive. So I'm talking a Peter Cullen. I'm talking a Frank

Starting point is 02:11:50 Welker. Voices of Megatron and Optimus Prime. And in addition to that, due to licensing issues, and I don't know what's happening with the Transformers brand at the moment, has been removed from digital stores and has been since 2017. So if you want this game, you're going to have to go track down a physical fucking copy

Starting point is 02:12:06 like a caveman, Claire. But it's good and it's worth it. I remember Transformers. And if you're like me, just turn the difficult down and just blast through it or whatever. Right. Cool. A lot of characters show up. In the first five minutes, you're like, I'm fighting Devastator.

Starting point is 02:12:23 Incredible. But not like the shit one from the second Michael Bay movie, the one from the original cartoon. He's green and he's purple and not a poo. Claire. I'm going to read my email now. Can I do that? Sure.

Starting point is 02:12:37 From Tana Moore. So you can write in to suggestabout.gmail.com just like Tana Moore has. Hello, James and Claire. I wrote in over six months ago and suggested that the two of you watch the Amazon show The Wilds. Well, I'm back with a new thing that's actually even better than that show. What? It's a book this time.

Starting point is 02:12:53 It's called Project Hail Mary. I've read that. I recommend it on this show, Claire. Oh, well, there you go. This person like you also hasn't listened to the homework instructions. I know. I'd love to hear another perspective actually. Yeah, so he says it's easily the best book he's ever read.

Starting point is 02:13:08 Wow. It was so good that he's listening to it again and I restarted listening to it as soon as I finished it and I'm going to be doing a term paper on it for one of my uni classes this fall as well. The two-line no-spoiler summary, for those that don't remember, is that the sun is dying. Oh, it's James' favourite topic.

Starting point is 02:13:25 It's my favourite thing when the sun's dying. And the planet needs a Hail Mary pass to save the planet. It involves very real science, humans first travel to other stars, and what it's truly about is the friends that you make along the way. Oh, that's so true. That summary probably doesn't do it justice, but it's genuinely one of the best books I've ever read. Hopefully you can find time to read it.

Starting point is 02:13:44 Well, James already has. Thanks for everything the two of you do. Tana Moore. So, yeah, so The Martian, it's a good book. The second book, it's about the moon or something. It's not great. I did read it and I'm like, I don't enjoy this very much. Third book, this one, it's his best book, I think, absolutely.

Starting point is 02:13:59 Ah, great. Okay. Project Hail Mary. Project Hail Mary. I think they're adapting it as well. I think I've talked about this before. Yeah, pretty cool stuff. I'm in book Reddit.

Starting point is 02:14:09 Sometimes I'm looking in book Reddit. I'm like, what's going on in book Reddit? This book always comes up. People are like, I fucking love this book. I love it. I'll kill anyone who says otherwise. Right. I need to read this book.

Starting point is 02:14:18 I'm going to do it. Do you like The World is Dying and Science and stuff? Yeah, it's sort of a similar topic to what I recommended today too, so you know. You couldn't handle a book like this, Claire. I can handle it. It's too intellectual for you. Oh, goodness gracious me.

Starting point is 02:14:31 All right. You homework task, read this book before next week. Fine. I will. I actually will. Don't say that, Claire. Don't say that. I will.

Starting point is 02:14:41 Yes, I will. All right. I'm very offended that you didn't enjoy my Ninja Turtle rap. I think it was a great offering and I thank you for your offering of a poem. You didn't mean that. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. What's happening? I thought you killed his back.

Starting point is 02:14:57 Oh, no. It's circling. It's got a knife. Should we stop? No, it's fine. It's the killer fly. We've got to get on with it, Claire. What else are we, you know? You've just cracked open a drink's the killer fly. We've got to get on with it, Claire. What else are we, you know?

Starting point is 02:15:05 You've just cracked open a drink. That's right. I've got a cool beverage. You've personified. Is that the right word for it? A fly. I don't know what you're going to say. Oh, yeah, sorry.

Starting point is 02:15:15 Hello. This is Suggestible, a podcast where we recommend you things to watch, read, and listen to. My name is Claire Tonti. James Clement is here also. We are married. I always sing bing bong at the start inexplicably. And then we get cracking with some recommendations. I think it's very inexplicable.

Starting point is 02:15:29 Is it? You've gone mad. I've gone mad. I have. I remember last week. I love holding your feet to the fire, Claire, for a thing that you haven't done. Oh, God, because you know I'm not consistent ever. I know.

Starting point is 02:15:40 So I like doing that. This is what I like doing. So last week we ended Sub Turtles on a real low when you were asked to bring in something. I feel like maybe it was actually real high. And you disrespected everybody who listens to this show. You disrespected me. And worst of all, you disrespected yourself.

Starting point is 02:15:55 Okay, I disagree. Did you or did you not ask me to bring in something Ninja Turtles-like? You said anything. Unbelievable. And I think that I actually was very in the vein and brand of Claire Totti by bringing in a rap and then rapping. That's like going to somebody's birthday and forgetting

Starting point is 02:16:11 and then you're like, oh, what do I have? And you go into your pockets and you pull out a receipt. How long have you known me? A million years. Like 17 years or something. You know I am a last-minute loosey-goosey woman, but inexplicably, as the word seems to be of this episode, I tend to usually pull everything together at the last minute

Starting point is 02:16:33 and it's awesome. That's funny you should say that because last week, and we have it on record, so Colleen hopefully, who edits this, can put in a clip. We got a letter, a lovely email from somebody who said you should, about Project Hail Mary, a book that I've read. You said- You forgot to remind me.

Starting point is 02:16:50 Oh, I forgot to remind you. And you said, I'm going to read that this week. And I said, no, you're not. And you said, no, I will. Anyway, colleagues, here's the clip. Put it in here. You couldn't handle a book like this, Claire. I can handle it. It's too intellectual for you. Oh, goodness gracious. All right. You homework task, read book like this, Claire. I can handle it. It's too intellectual for you. Oh, goodness gracious me. All right. You homework task, read this book before next week.

Starting point is 02:17:10 Fine. I will. I actually will. Don't say that, Claire. Don't say that. I will. Yes, I will. And anyway, so now it's next week.

Starting point is 02:17:20 Our time has moved forward. It is Lydia. And how was the book that you definitely read, Claire? Oh, no. Let's see you ninja rap your way out of this one. My name is Claire and I love to share many things about gardening. There's no rap. There's no rap.

Starting point is 02:17:36 Oh, I haven't read the book. Oh, this is real cooked. I'm really sorry. Do you know what is so crazy about this is that not only did I not read the book, I did not remember anything about what you were going to say until the end of the statement where you reminded me. And you knew. And at no point during the week did you even remotely suggest it. Well, no, actually, I was listening to last week's episode today because I thought at some point

Starting point is 02:18:06 because you were going to recommend something that you didn't do, so I was going to remind you of, hey, you've got a thing left over. That's why I thought you were going to remind me because I've got that and I was going to be like, sweet, sweet, sweet. But as I was listening, I heard that part and I'm like, oh. I said to myself like this. You're always laughing like that just weirdly alone in a room. I'm going to give you an out, okay?

Starting point is 02:18:29 Oh, by shaming me publicly on a podcast first. Yes, that's right. So you can double down and say you're going to read it by next week. Yes. Or you could say I will not read this book. God damn it, I'm going to read the bloody book. I'm going to do it. I have to do it.

Starting point is 02:18:46 You're so busy. It's my pride. Just say no. No, I have to read it now. I say no to so much shit. I say no to literally everything. I know, but that's because you're a miserable son of a bitch. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 02:18:57 And I am a positive person. I am time hopeful. I always think I can do more than I can. Do you feel positive? I'm always like. Do you feel good now? Yes. No, I feel shackled.

Starting point is 02:19:06 I feel shackled. You feel good making a declaration. I don't even remember what the bloody book is called. Exactly. Well, I'm going to leave that up to you. No. It's called Project Hail Mary. Oh, Lord.

Starting point is 02:19:16 This is a Project Hail Mary. It certainly is. But there's a Hail Mary pass happening. I can tell I'm going to save it. You're not even going to like it. Project Hail Mary. Luckily for you, I read very quickly. Yeah, that's very lucky for me.

Starting point is 02:19:27 I feel so fortunate. You should. In all of this. You should. Anyways, let's get on with it. Bing ba ding bong, bing bong. It's digestible time, everybody. Wow, finally.

Starting point is 02:19:38 That's what I say. It's my favorite time of the week, Claire. I feel like it's your least favorite time and you're just humoring me for being here. No, Claire, the least favorite time of this is when the show finishes for me. That's the least favourite time, you know? Yeah, I guess so. This is the early time of the week where I actually speak to you. That's true.

Starting point is 02:19:57 Because I know obviously you couldn't be speaking to me too much this week. Oh, by the way, this is just suggestible. I'm James. This is Claire. We're married and we suggest things and whatever. This is not a very good intro. No, it's a very good intro. Now, you obviously couldn't be speaking to me much this week because you are very busy reading the book Project Hail Mary.

Starting point is 02:20:13 Oh, shit! Now, for those people who don't know, two weeks ago... How is it already a week has passed? A week is. I feel like time has sped up and the space-time continuum has gone weird and I feel like it's been a lot shorter than a week since we last recorded. There are certainly some similarities in what you're saying to the book project, Hail Mary. I mean, you would know that if you read it. Oh, the smugness.

Starting point is 02:20:40 You've been holding this. You've been looking at me, making my breakfast, drinking my coffee, sitting at the kitchen bench. I have been watching you. I have. I've been like, look what she's doing. She's not reading Project Hail Mary. No.

Starting point is 02:20:54 She doubled down. So two weeks ago, and Colleen, she didn't have to put this clip in because she put this clip in last week. Claire said that she would read Project Hail Mary. She said she would definitely do it last Last week, she didn't, obviously. And so we talked about it and I said, this is your chance to just say, I'm not going to read it and that's fine and walk away. But no, and here's the clip.

Starting point is 02:21:14 This is you doubling down. So you can double down and say you're going to read it by next week. Yes. Or you could say, I will not read this book. God damn it, I'm going to read the bloody book. I'm going to do it. As you can see, you insisted. Thank you for putting that in Collings. And now here's an opportunity for you. There's another out. Just say you're not going to read it. No, I'm definitely reading it. No, I am. I am leaning in. After this is finished, I am not going to go and watch the delightful documentary I was planning to watch on Netflix. I am leaning in. After this is finished, I am not going to go and watch the delightful documentary I was planning to watch on Netflix.

Starting point is 02:21:46 I am going to download this miserable book onto my Kindle and I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it now because if I don't do it tonight, I won't do it. You can't read it. I will forget. I just like will completely forget. I'm going to write Hail Mary on my face, on the mirror, and it just flitted out of my mind like a bird.

Starting point is 02:22:06 Claire, we don't need to have this conversation. We had this conversation last week. So we don't need to have this conversation again. It's like the poor listeners are living in Groundhog Day. Yeah, poor them. But because it's Spooky's time of the year, and I'm not just talking about tax time, we've both brought in a spooky recommendation.

Starting point is 02:22:22 But before we go to that. Can I go spooky every time? Yeah, you absolutely can. And on top of that. Spooky. We just wanted to check back in and see how you're going with reading Project Hail Mary. So I have to also say this to you. I remembered this week that I needed to read it.

Starting point is 02:22:38 Okay. Did I open it? No. Did I download it on the Kindle? No. This is not a win. But did I think about it a lot and feel guilty that I wasn't reading it? You're damn right I did.

Starting point is 02:22:48 This is absolutely not a win. So it is on the road. It is in the case. What kind of? Listeners, stick with it. I know there's many other things you can be listening to on the internet with much more riveting story arcs. I will read this book.

Starting point is 02:23:00 It's not happening today. It's over. Listen, I'm going to give you one more week and it's over. It's finished. You don't get to decide when it's over. If there I'm going to give you one more week and it's over. It's finished. We're not dragging this out. If there's one thing you know, I do not abide long running jokes. You know that. You love a long running joke. You have long running

Starting point is 02:23:15 jokes that happened in the womb. You're like, now how old are you? 39? I'm 42. And you're still holding on to that long running joke. So I will read this goddamn Hail Mary book when I damn well please and no one, including the patriarchy, will tell me what to do and when I should read this book. Time is a construct, as I've discussed with you before.

Starting point is 02:23:36 It is in my future to read this book. Is it this week? No. I just want to – okay, so – That is neither here nor further. Are you feeling guilty? Fither nor fither. Are you feeling guilty?

Starting point is 02:23:44 Fiddle or piddle. Or is time a construct? I don't know how to afford this conversation. Let's move on. Let's get on with our recommendation. No, I just want to nail down your feelings on this because you threw a bunch of stuff out there, so you're feeling guiltier about it,

Starting point is 02:23:53 but you're also proud that you thought of it. Yeah, I am. And it's the patriarchy. I didn't forget about it. And time is a construct. So, you know, that's not all the same through life. You know that, right? Yes, and it's about people who understand people like me

Starting point is 02:24:07 will understand exactly what I'm saying. No. It's the structure. It's the vibe. It's Mabo. It's the patriarchy. There's no time for anything. Just say you're not going to do it.

Starting point is 02:24:18 I'm doing it. Just opt out. James, I will do it. Before I die, I will read this goddamn book. No. I will. I absolutely will. At one point I die, I will read this goddamn book. No. I will. I absolutely will. At one point I was like, could I just lie?

Starting point is 02:24:30 I would have quizzed you. I would have absolutely quizzed you. You would not have gotten away with that, giving me the false book report. I am going to read this book. You already gave me a book report on it. Anyway, psych. What does that even mean, psych? I don't know.

Starting point is 02:24:43 Who knows? Does anyone know anything? I don't know. Who knows? Does anyone know anything? I don't know. Probably not. All I'm saying is, James, cut a woman some goddamn slack and let's move on. It's so boring. No one is interested anymore.

Starting point is 02:24:55 I will read it though. Yeah. No, people love people who break lies. Break lies? Break lies. Make lies. Break truths. I'm not lying.

Starting point is 02:25:04 Our son does that all the time when I'm like, oh, mate, we can't go yet. He's like, you lied. You lied to me. And I'm like, I just said we were leaving at 9 and it's now 9.05. Please put your shoes on. Everything will be fine. But you lied. You said it was 9.

Starting point is 02:25:20 Also, he catches me all the time when I'm just on the bed looking at my phone. Yeah. I say I'm going to have a shower and then I go and like send emails from the bedroom and he comes in and he's like, what? Just a goddamn second? Just, yeah. He's talking to someone who's never looked at a clock. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:25:36 So anyway, what's the spooky recommendation that you made this week? He told me this week he was really going to knock my socks off. Like physically punch you so you'd fly out of your socks? No, I think it was to surprise me with the fact about Mario, which I was not surprised by. Yeah, he's loving Mario Odyssey at the moment. Great guy. That is all he talks about.

Starting point is 02:25:57 And you, ad nauseum, you talk about film and that's it. It's true. God, I'm just stuck. Can we just do this now then? Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. Halloween. My turn first? Let's do God, I'm just stuck. Can we just do this now then? Oh, yeah. Okay. Sorry. Halloween. My turn first?

Starting point is 02:26:06 My turn first. I'm so excited. All right. I want to talk about Practical Magic, the movie. You've talked about Practical Magic. No, I haven't. Yes, you have. Let me go back to the episode.

Starting point is 02:26:15 No. Okay. Well, I'll come up. It's definitely come up. Has it? Well, I'm talking about it again because I love it. I haven't done it for Halloween. I'm sure I haven't.

Starting point is 02:26:23 Anyway, people love to revisit a cult classic movie that flopped at the box office starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. That's very, very witchy and wonderful. So just in case people aren't familiar, it's based on the 1995 novel of the same name by Alice Hoffman and it's directed by Griffin Dunn and obviously stars Sandra and Nicole with Stockard Channing, Diane West, Aidan Quinn and Goran Viznikic. Goran Viznikic.

Starting point is 02:26:49 That guy. Yes. And the storyline is so wonderful. Stockard Channing? What the fuck name is that? Well, who knows? Don't make fun of people's names, Steve. I will.

Starting point is 02:26:57 Just because you've got the world's most boring name. Yeah. Honestly. Let me tell you the story of this wonderful movie. In the small Massachusetts town, the Owens family. What are you doing? You're reading from my notes. No.

Starting point is 02:27:11 Keep going. You're reading my notes. I'm just guessing what you're going to say. Keep going, please. You're so annoying. Keep going. Are you reading from my notes? How would I read from your notes?

Starting point is 02:27:17 Because they're in my phone, in Google, in the shared Google drive. I don't have access to any of your notes. Please continue. So annoying. You're really annoying me now. Anyway, Gillian and Sally Owens are taken in by their aunts, Frances and Jet, after both their parents succumb to the Owens curse. Now, the Owens curse turned out to be a curse that was performed

Starting point is 02:27:40 by their ancestor where eventually the line of women, whoever they fall in love with, the person dies. Sick. Basically. Yes, correct. Exactly. More like impractical magic, am I right? Very impractical.

Starting point is 02:27:53 As children, Sally and Gillian are frequently ridiculed by the town's school children after witnessing their aunts cast a love spell for a woman obsessed with their beloved. Sally casts a spell on herself to ensure she will only fall in love with a man who possesses certain impossible traits with the goal that she will never fall in love. Meanwhile, Jillian, Nicole Kidman's character, goes the opposite. She goes sexy time hard and sleeps with lots of men and is just like constantly flying around the world

Starting point is 02:28:19 like having sex with terrible people and dating. It's got even Rachel Wood in it from various things but Westworld. Well, there you go. Wait, so is Nicole Kidman murdering men in this? No, but they just happen to die and she's very kind of blasé about, well, because of the curse. So she's murdering men. She's a murderer.

Starting point is 02:28:37 She's a serial killer. It's Halloween. This is a praying mantis woman. It's Halloween. Listen, I hate to be one of these guys who's like, what about men, Claire? I hate to be one of these guys who's like, what about men, Claire? I hate to be one of these guys. But imagine if this story was two men, warlocks,

Starting point is 02:28:50 weird-looking warlock dudes, and they're bros, and they're from a family of warlocks of when they sleep with. I know what you're saying. It's so boring. It's such a boring story. I know. You're like, what if they were to. What do you mean about every fucking slasher movie forever

Starting point is 02:29:02 that just murders women all of the time? Yeah, but what if, though, as I'm saying? That's my point. No, every bloody horror movie from here till Timbuktu has been made with like torturing women. I'm flipping it, Claire. It's not even an interesting concept. A lot of people don't think.

Starting point is 02:29:14 They don't think, Claire, but I like to think, you know? I'm outside the box. Everyone knows you're not outside the box. Everyone knows you are thoroughly inside the box. You are the most white bread person. You love the most mainstream things. You just pitched the movie Practical Magic and you're calling me white bread. Look, you just happen to love the most popular franchises globally. Claire, you don't even know half the weird shit that I watch that I never talk about.

Starting point is 02:29:39 Yeah, I don't want to know. I don't know what kind of weird rabbit man hole you... Just because I have to watch four Dwayne The johnson movies a year that makes me angry it makes me so angry and i please let's not go down the rabbit hole i already have and listen to you feel all your feelings while you're making a thumbnail about the rock for like an hour and i realized in that moment that i've married you and i've made an error no i didn't I actually find it really joyful when you find that kind of when your brain opens up because it doesn't always happen and suddenly you open up your mind palace and you're like, look at all the weird shit that's in here. And then you kind of see my face and you're like, oh, I better quickly.

Starting point is 02:30:15 Yeah, I'm going to reel that back in. Pack all of that back in. No, keep putting it out. No, I will not. I like all of that. People get a full blast of me like on the internet. It's like, I think it's my weirdest stuff where in real life I'm like, hello, I'm normal.

Starting point is 02:30:26 No, everyone knows you're not normal. At the surface people would be like, he's probably normal. No. No? No. Who's talking shit about me? No, I can tell. No.

Starting point is 02:30:36 Because you barely ever see anyone. That's not true. I see a lot of people. You're there for like 10 minutes and you ghost. I see a lot of people. Yeah. Always looking at people. Always watching.

Starting point is 02:30:44 Yeah, through the window. Like a normal man. With. Always looking at people. Always watching. Yeah, through the window. Like a normal man. With sunglasses on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, completely. No, but normals are overrated. Yeah, I guess so. Normal doesn't really exist.

Starting point is 02:30:54 No, no, people don't know. I'm normal. Listen, Claire, I watched a movie. It's the spookiest time of year. You're going to be so smart. You're so Fred. Look, I'm an artist, James. I've been working on my album.

Starting point is 02:31:04 I don't have time. Yes, yes, yes. I don't have time to be so smart. You're so Fred. Look, I'm an artist, James. I've been working on my album. I don't have time. Yes, yes, yes. I don't have time to be watching obscure spooky time things. I have to watch a bunch of this and for the weekly plan. That's how committed I am to the spookiest time of the year and not tax time. No, of course, now we're into the segment of the show where you tell us about Project Hail Mary,

Starting point is 02:31:19 a book that you've been reading for the past several weeks. Update. Update, everyone. You purchased it. I purchased it. I know because I got the receipts. I got the email. weeks. Update. Update, everyone. You purchased it. I purchased it on the Kindle. I know because I got the receipt. I got the email. It's there.

Starting point is 02:31:29 So as I said, it's a journey. It's a process. It's a vibe. It's Mabo. It's coming. You're comparing. It's coming. I'm making slow progress.

Starting point is 02:31:38 You're reading Project Hail Mary to Indigenous rights in Australia with the word Mabo. No, I was referencing the wonderful Australian movie The Castle. No, Claire, that's in poor taste. That's in poor taste. I didn't mean that. I was referencing The Castle, you know, where he's like it's the vibes. I'm cancelling you, Claire.

Starting point is 02:31:53 Oh, Lord. That's right. Good. Then I could go back to bed. I'm very tired today. You shouldn't have drunk so much. I didn't drink anything. It was just I got very excited and I had two different parties to go to

Starting point is 02:32:03 and when I get really excited, I get an excited hangover because I was so enthusiastic and so excited about the costume and then I got to bed and I didn't really sleep. I've never had an excited hangover. I don't get excited. So I've just got – That's bloody true. Yeah, I'm just like this.

Starting point is 02:32:20 I'm just like this all the time and I'm tired. So it's this and then I'm more tired. Okay, yeah. So your baseline is me on a very bad day. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, cool. Well, anyway, I don't know if anyone else relates to this, but sometimes I get so excited that the next day I get sore muscles

Starting point is 02:32:33 from how excited I was about my costume. I get that from doing chin-ups, Claire, and doing squats and deadlifts. I don't even need to do that. I just use my enthusiasm. Gyms are overrated. Gyms are overrated. I think all the best bodybuilders don't even lift weights. They're just incredibly enthusiastic.

Starting point is 02:32:50 And they're just buzzing like a hummingbird all day. I was like, Arnie's very enthusiastic about life. It's true. About eggs, apparently. Loves eggs. Loves eggs. Loves protein. He did say milk was for babies. He did say that once.

Starting point is 02:32:58 Milk is for babies. That's what he said. I love how he says babies. Babies. He doesn't say it like that. Babies. That's how he says it. No, he doesn't. That's how you imagine he said it. How does he say babies then? I don't babies. Babies. He doesn't say it like that. Babies. That's how he says it. No, he doesn't.

Starting point is 02:33:05 That's how you imagine he said it. How does he say babies then? I don't know. Babies. I don't know. He would have to say it, babies. I'm going to Google him saying babies. Okay, fine.

Starting point is 02:33:14 During the show. Google him saying babies. I'll have a look for it. All right. While you're doing that, can I talk about my next thing? I would love to. My first thing. Okay, now I know we wanted to find out whether Arnold could tell,

Starting point is 02:33:23 Arnold says babies. Yes. And I have found that. Here's a clip. All right. Okay, now I know we wanted to find out whether Arnold could tell, Arnold says babies. Yes. And I have found that. Here's a clip. All right. Okay, wait, before you play it, I'm going to say how I think it sounds, okay? Okay. Babies.

Starting point is 02:33:32 All right. Yeah, okay. Here we go. He's holding a baby. Baby. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama! Mama!

Starting point is 02:33:50 That's not him saying babies, he's saying mama and it's like a weird dream where he's looking at his own face. It's the movie Junior, Claire. But surely he would say baby in that movie. No, that's just a clip I found. I do actually have it but I've used a fake you, a website called Fake You where it synthesises speech. Oh, that's very clever. And I just a clip I found. I do actually have it, but I've used a fake you. It's called fake you where it synthesizes speech. Oh, that's very clever.

Starting point is 02:34:09 How did you do that while I was talking about Kathy Davies? I'm just really good at doing useless things. Babies. Babies. Babies. That's very close. Babies. No, it's not close at all.

Starting point is 02:34:20 That is very close. Babies. Babies. Yeah, that's he saying it. Babies. That's very close. Also, that is, toies. Yeah, that's he saying it. Babies. That's very close. Also, that is, to be fair, that is synthesized speech. Exactly.

Starting point is 02:34:30 He would definitely have a little bit more air in it. He wouldn't. I'll be back. See? I'll be babies. It's the same. No, it's not. Oh, excellent.

Starting point is 02:34:37 I'm really glad. I am satisfied. We can finish now. If I smoked it, I'd have a cigarette. That was great. Great. Okay, go on with your recommendation. What sad thing are you telling us about this week?

Starting point is 02:34:47 Bing bong, bing bing. Bong bing bing, bong bong bong. I don't know what happened at the end there. Very interesting. I know. I'm experimenting with my bing bongs. Hello. Are you going to talk at the same time as me or the whole time?

Starting point is 02:35:00 It's not very professional. Not the whole time. All right. It's bound to happen, though. It is a podcast. That's what they do. But Colleen's well edited it out. He's not very professional. Not the whole time. It's bound to happen though. It is a podcast. That's what they do. But Collings will edit it out. He'll separate our voice using the appropriate audio equipment. Long suffering Collings I edit out. No one likes a podcast that waffles. My name is Claire

Starting point is 02:35:16 Tonti. James Clements is here also. We are married. This is a suggestible podcast where we recommend you things to watch, read and listen to. And I'm excited to be here on this day of days, an auspicious day. Well, I can imagine you would be excited because you've probably read Project Hail Mary by this point in time. Look, everyone. Look, I've been tweeted many a time. I appreciate all of you.

Starting point is 02:35:37 Just quit, Claire. Everyone, I have read four pages. That's nothing. You're not even going to remember that. You're going to have to reread them. Yeah, look, I've started. I've broken the back. I've broken the back.

Starting point is 02:35:50 No, you have not. You don't know I've broken the back, man. James, James, James, James. Just audio book it. It's a journey. Or don't. It's a journey. It's a journey.

Starting point is 02:36:01 It's a whole process. And everyone is here for me What do you think? At the start Oh I don't like it I don't like it at all Just quit then It's so boring to me

Starting point is 02:36:10 Also like I get it He's like being I don't know I don't know Exconded by aliens I don't know Yeah it sounds like

Starting point is 02:36:18 You really get it Yeah that's exactly what He had like All these tubes in him When he woke up And then his The tube came out of his penis And he was like, oh, that's painful. I'm like, you've never had childbirth or anything, weird guy

Starting point is 02:36:30 who can't remember things about your own life. I don't know. Look, I'm withholding my judgment. I'm in music land. Are you? I don't have a lot of things for other things other than music land. Well, that's really exciting, Claire. I know.

Starting point is 02:36:43 It's not very helpful for a podcast. Have you actually read anything this week, though? I'm getting the wheelie thing, the fiddly wheelie one. Oh, the wheel. Give me the wheel. No, too bad, too sad. Nah, give me another one then. Give me that weird little.

Starting point is 02:36:53 Which one are you going to have? I'll take the weird little bike chain. We have a box of fiddle things. They know. All right. They know. I bought them. I told you the story of these, right?

Starting point is 02:37:01 I bought them for my kids in my class. Yeah, no, I know. So instead we use them. What does that say about us? I know. I my kids in my class. Yeah, no, I know. So instead we use them. What does that say about us? I know. I know that. They're really enjoyable though. They certainly are.

Starting point is 02:37:09 Now let's get on with it. All right, get on with the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have you got? Just quit. I will never quit. I will always read a really bad book. It's not actually bad.

Starting point is 02:37:26 And everyone's going to tweet me now and be like, it's excellent. I'm offending a lot of people. And I'm sure it's really great. He had a tube in his penis. I don't know. Your turn to review a thing. Do you think you'd read it if it was called he had a tube in his penis? No, I wouldn't.

Starting point is 02:37:44 Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bong. I bet you think you're pretty cool. Always, James. Always. Hello. It's suggestible time again. My name is- No, my man's having a brewski. It's my bloody fifth for the day. Am I right? He's having a sugar-free cola. Nothing. Oh, no, sugar-free orange one? No, I'm having a brewski. Who knows?

Starting point is 02:38:11 You're interrupting my intro of the show, James. I apologize. Sorry if my drinking a brewski is getting in the way of that. Just regular normal man stuff that I'm doing over here. You're getting odder as you get older. Disagree. I don't know if you know this about you. It's getting worse. Yeah, I should hang out with more people.

Starting point is 02:38:23 You really should. Anyway, my name is Claire. 20 James Clement is here also. We are married. We recommend you things to watch, read, and listen to. And, yeah, it's just, well, that's the show. James goes. I go.

Starting point is 02:38:35 We argue a bit. Sometimes he drinks a drink. Sometimes he does a burp. Depends how many brewskis I've had. Claire, would you like to go first? Before you go first, have you read Project Hail Mary, the book that you said you read? Okay.

Starting point is 02:38:46 So absolutely not. All right. Listen. Enough of this. I can't. Enough of this. I know. Back out.

Starting point is 02:38:55 So I'm in. No, I can't back out. Then pick a date because this is just going to go on forever. Okay. And I hate that. I hate a recurring date. I know you do. Pick a date.

Starting point is 02:39:03 You love a recurring date. Pick a date. I can't. As you know, time is a construct. You can pick a year from now. I find time really hard. Time is not a construct. I hate a recurring day. I know you do. Pick a date. You love a recurring day. Pick a date. As you know, time is a construct. You can pick a year from now. I find time really hard. Time is not a construct. Time is a construct.

Starting point is 02:39:09 I will find a day where I'll just read it. That's the way I am. No. You pick a date. The day will come. Pick a date. The universe, the stars will align and I will just read it. Pick a date.

Starting point is 02:39:18 I'm not picking a date. Pick a date. You can't force me into anything. Pick one. Pick any date. It's really annoying. Pick any date. It could be 10 years from now.

Starting point is 02:39:24 Pick a date. It's really annoying. Pick any date. It could be 10 years from now. Pick a date. Fine. I will read it by the 20th of February 2025. Everybody mark that down. All right? That's in like three years. Doesn't matter. Two years.

Starting point is 02:39:39 It's good to have a hard date. That means it's over. It makes me feel cornered and stressed with a hard date. Alright, it's done. Colleen, mark that in your calendar you probably have. Yeah, his robotic mind. That's right. He's lodged it in there somewhere. He knows exactly. He'll probably email me on the exact date. But I'll have read it before then. No, you won't. I'm not going to bring it up again. I have been appreciating the people who have been reminding me on Twitter to do it. Thank you very much to you. I'm not going to bring it up again. I've been appreciating the people who have been reminding me on Twitter to do it. Thank you very much to you.

Starting point is 02:40:05 I'm not going to bring it up again. You'll hear from me in 2025. Please continue with your first recommendation. We'll have to read a book for work. I'm interviewing Holly Ringland and it's a big interview, so I have to read her book. You're interviewing Molly Ringworm? I'm not talking.

Starting point is 02:40:19 You don't understand. She's a brilliant author. It's happening on Friday. I have to read her book by then. It's very stressful. Anyway. Molly Ringworm sounds like an animated character from an 80s like sex education class. Hi, I'm Molly Ringworm. In this story, are you imagining her? It's not her name. Are you imagining Molly Ringworm to be a ringworm? Well, a ringworm isn't actually a worm. What is it? It's like a, it's like athlete's foot. It's like a, it's like a fungus. isn't actually a worm. What is it? It's like athlete's foot.

Starting point is 02:40:45 It's like a fungus. It's like a circular like. Like a welt. No, it's like a, not even. A rash. Like a small eczema. Yeah. That's fun.

Starting point is 02:40:57 A small eczema. I'm having a sugar-free ginger beer. Nobody cares, Claire. Crack a brewski with me. Just loosen up. Let's cheers. We've never done that on Suggestion before. No, you have to look at each other in the eye.

Starting point is 02:41:08 It's bad. It's sex with seven years or something. Is it? Well, that's what happened then, I guess. Am I right, everyone? I always hate that tradition. Okay, here's one of the many reasons why I'm considering whether or not I have ADHD. And one of them is eye contact.

Starting point is 02:41:23 I find eye contact excruciating. I don't know how long to look into someone's eyes for. I don't know if I should. And then if I do, I really lock in and I can't look away and I'm really asking lots of questions. Otherwise, I just avoid it altogether. I find it really incredibly difficult. And one of the things I find difficult is there's that tradition

Starting point is 02:41:41 where if you don't cheers and you're cursed with 70s bad sex, so some people when they do cheers stare at you because they think it's like a superstition thing and they really look you in the eye. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. But other people don't do it. And I don't understand when to do it or not to do it. Just don't look at anybody in the eyes, I reckon.

Starting point is 02:41:59 We shouldn't have to. Social niceties are really confusing. Also, when do you hug someone? You don you hug someone versus when you high-five them, when you shake their hand, when you just do a weird shoulder raise? I have no idea. And at what point in someone's friendship do you move from hugging them or just like waving at them to hugging them? Some people like kiss on their cheek and then they hug.

Starting point is 02:42:20 How do you know? And then do you hug them every time you see them? Exactly. How do you know? And then is it weird if you don't hug them? I don't know. And then COVID happened and then we were elbowing and for the love of God, I don't know what to do anymore.

Starting point is 02:42:32 Yeah. Look, I don't know, man. I don't hug anybody unless someone goes to hug me. Yeah, I know, but I like hugging people. I'm a real hugger. Yeah, that's fine. You can hug me if you want once a week. I hug you a lot, but you always, I get a time allocation.

Starting point is 02:42:47 I'm like, I have to ask permission, which is also important. Ask for consent. You say yes. I hug you for the allocated time. And then you're like. This is not true. All right, good. You're done.

Starting point is 02:42:57 This is not true. I can sense you. You're like, how long is this having to go for? No, that's you. That's on you. You're kicking it down in your head. Absolutely not. Do you know what makes me giggle a lot?

Starting point is 02:43:05 The fact that our daughter is a little like me and likes to hug and she will often ask to give our son a kiss and hug and he will always say no. And because I'm teaching them about boundaries, I'm like, that's fine. And then she always tries to anyway and I say no. You cannot. That's good. He said no.

Starting point is 02:43:25 Yeah. I cannot imagine a scenario where someone would ask to hug me and and I say no, you cannot. That's good. He said no. Yeah. I cannot imagine a scenario where someone would ask to hug me and I would say no. Really? Yes. I can think of so many examples of times I would not hug a person. I know but, yeah, you're right actually. There are quite a few.

Starting point is 02:43:39 Here's when you hug a person, right? Yeah. This is the rule I think generally. I don't know. When you see him day to day, maybe you're doing a school pickup, maybe you catch up, run into a friend in the street, whatever, who you see often. You don't have to hug them.

Starting point is 02:43:52 But if you're going to see someone you don't often see, you're not seeing them every day, give them a hug if they're a close friend. If you invite people around who maybe you do see every day to like an event or whatever, everyone's dressed up, having a good time, maybe give them a hug maybe. All right. Actually, that's good advice. But there are some people in my life, I would say someone like a Nick Mason,

Starting point is 02:44:11 never hug me. There's not a hugger. He hates handshaking too. Yeah. I never literally. He hates handshaking me. Whenever I do it, he's like, stop doing that. He hates it.

Starting point is 02:44:20 He's like, oh, I don't like this. I have never handshook or hugged Nick Mason. Never. Really? Because I respect his boundaries. I know. I know what he's like, oh, I don't like this. I have never handshook or hugged Nick Mason. Never. Really? Because I respect his boundaries. I know. I know what he's like. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:44:29 He just doesn't like that and that's cool. Fair enough. So I wave at him. Maybe he's lonely. Maybe you should ask him. Maybe I should. Maybe he wants a hug. Maybe he thinks the same thing as you.

Starting point is 02:44:37 Well, there you go. Maybe I should check in with Nick Mason and see what he reckons. I agree. He often sees me in my pajamas because, you know, he comes at all times of night. He certainly does. Anyway. Okay, shall we move along?

Starting point is 02:44:48 Yes. Bing bong, bing bong. Bing bong, bing bong. Boo, Claire. Boo. No, it's Christmas time. We spent half an hour trying to set up this audio recording so you can hand me a song to sing with you.

Starting point is 02:45:03 Okay. And it is absolutely not worth it. It's also very early in the morning. And I hate this. And I've been at a lot of Christmas events and you're so mad at me already. And I'm so sorry. You're not sorry. I've also, okay, you may remember last year I surprised James

Starting point is 02:45:18 with a lovely Christmas duet and I think it went pretty well, right? I would argue that it didn't go very well. I would put that forth to you. It is now 9.20 in the morning, which is your worst time of the day. It's the earliest time I've ever recorded anything. And I also now feel really terrified about giving you this because it's also your least favourite Christmas song. That's a big call because show me the song.

Starting point is 02:45:42 Please don't hate me. I love you. I love you. I love you very much. What is this one? Oh, this is awful. This is the worst one. This is the worst one. I know you hate this one.

Starting point is 02:45:54 Which parts am I doing? You're doing the yellow highlighter. That's the most parts. No, then the green we sing together. I hate this. I know. But also Christmas joy and such. Welcome to Suggestible, everybody, where we recommend you things

Starting point is 02:46:09 and once a year we subject you to a Christmas duet. Get in the Christmas spirit. I will not get in the Christmas spirit. I do have to say, though, we're literally doing this with like one headphone in each ear. This is the way this year has gone. And next year I promise to be better. I promise to be better prepared, better on time.

Starting point is 02:46:27 This can't be better. Like this is what it is. All right, let's go. Let's start. Why isn't it playing? Oh, thank God. Here we go. How long is this?

Starting point is 02:46:39 It's a little while. How long is it? Three minutes. It's fine. It's fine. Relax. Okay, ready? I'll do my part then i have to say my morning voice is really like hitting this.

Starting point is 02:47:08 I don't like any of this. Something about a convertible. I can't read this, Chloe. I need my glasses. You don't even wear glasses. I'm sorry. A white blue. Santa.

Starting point is 02:47:21 You have to call me dear. Yeah, Santa. Where is Santa? It's the chimney tonight Come and have a good time No it's going well Think of all Fun I've missed

Starting point is 02:47:37 Think of all the fellas that I Haven't kissed That's like close to 8 billion people. Next year I could be just as good if you'll check off my Christmas list. This next line is Santa Baby, I want a yacht. Yeah. And really that's not a lot. I mean, it's a fair amount.

Starting point is 02:48:03 Yeah, I know. I guess it's ironic. Been singing angels all year. Santa, baby, so how dare you? But I've just got a question about that says, think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. Like, what is that even like? Again, that's nearly 8 billion people.

Starting point is 02:48:17 Yeah, well, I'm thinking of all of them. Hang on. Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex. What's a duplex? It's like a condo, like a series of apartment buildings. Sign your ex on the line, Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, You said it was your first person. Why am I saying Santa, honey? Because it's your paragraph. It's your line. One little thing.

Starting point is 02:48:47 I really do need. I'm doing this spoken word. Like William Shatner in the song Common People. The deed to a platinum mine. Santa baby. To hurry down the chimney. That's well done. I liked that bit. Come and trim my Christmas tree.

Starting point is 02:49:07 No, no, no. Trim it. With some decorations for that Tiffany. We don't have Tiffany's in Australia. Yes, we do. No, we don't. I really do believe in you. You never bought me anything from Tiffany's, actually.

Starting point is 02:49:21 Let's see if you believe in me, James Clement. Santa baby. Oh, that's your one? Yeah, this is me. Mention one little thing. Oh. Some glee. Yes, please.

Starting point is 02:49:33 Is this like an updated one? I don't mean on the phone. Santa baby. So hurry down the chimney tonight. Oh, thank God. One more time. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Oh, thank God. It's one thing. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Are you leaving me all alone to finish?

Starting point is 02:49:51 Yes. Hurry down the chimney tonight. I didn't leave you on the phone. You were in the room. No, but we were supposed to sing like a nice duet, like a P at the end. This is never going to. To give the people what they want. It's not going to happen the way that you think it's going to happen.

Starting point is 02:50:06 I know, but I gave you an easy song so that you would be able to do it with me. I've never sung this. I don't sing. And I did it in your key so that you'd be able to like. What do you mean my key? I don't have a key. You do, low and grumpy.

Starting point is 02:50:21 But I did a really easy song so you could join in with me. This is not easy for me, Claire. Because last year you just yelled at me most in with me. This is not easy for me, Claire. Because last year you just yelled at me most of the time. This is not easy for me. This is an absolute nightmare, a living nightmare. Well, God, your life's pretty easy. I want to have like recurring nightmares about this. It's like one of those dreams where you think you're still at school

Starting point is 02:50:38 and you're like, oh, fuck. You said to me I could have one song a year. Yeah, you can do a song. I long as I didn't surprise you anymore. I don't have to participate. We're doing it again next year. That's it. You said I could. I'm not going to stop you, but I'm not going to.

Starting point is 02:50:53 I will not entertain it any more than I have to. Marriage is a very long time. I'm thinking of all the fellas that I have kissed. Not for everybody. And I would like you to please think of me. Some people opt out. Some people opt out. I don't get that line. Like, it's not like, I'm people opt out. Some people opt out. I don't get that line.

Starting point is 02:51:06 Like, it's not like, I'm not like, this is offensive. Like, I just don't get it. What do you mean think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed? Like, what does that? I think she's saying I've been very good. Oh, like I could have kissed a bunch of fellas and I haven't. Yes, I could have kissed a bunch of fellas, Santa. But instead I'm just hanging out with you and your white curly beard.

Starting point is 02:51:23 If that's true, if someone was like, think of all the people that I haven't kissed, I'd be like, name the people that you haven't kissed. Name the people that you could have kissed that you haven't. I would want to know specifically. There's a lot of elves in the North Pole. I don't think it's really Santa, though, is it? Like she's singing it to like, I don't know.

Starting point is 02:51:41 She's singing to Santa. But it's not really Santa, is it? It is Santa. Well, I don't know. Maybe it's like George. But it's not really Santa, is it? It is Santa. Well, I don't know. Maybe it's like George dressed up as Santa at her office Christmas party. Yeah, it's like one of those weird sex things and whatever. But also, is Santa a sex thing for some people? Sometimes he's a sex thing.

Starting point is 02:51:57 I've got a thing this week where he's maybe a sex thing, Claire. Oh, no. You really do like to sit on my Christmas joy, don't you? It's true. And some people like to sit on Santa, apparently. Yeah. But, like, okay, so say if it was you, for example, and you're like, think of all the men that I haven't kissed this year.

Starting point is 02:52:14 I'd be like, name them. And then if you named them and I'm like, they're all duds. Like, that would be bad for you. But if I was like, wow, those are actually really sexy, I appreciate that. You could have kissed some sexy men and you didn't. So thank you. Is there anyone particularly on the list that you would have was like, wow, those are actually really sexy, I appreciate that. You could have kissed some sexy men and you didn't. So thank you. Is there anyone particularly on the list that you would have been like,

Starting point is 02:52:32 thank you, I really know how much you love me now because you did kiss him. What about Channing Tatum? If I was in a room with Channing Tatum. I would be okay if you kissed Channing Tatum, I think. Would you? Yeah, probably. If I had the opportunity. Yeah, I reckon. Good.

Starting point is 02:52:40 Excellent. I'll put that in my list of things that will potentially one day never happen. But you never know, James. I don't know. Maybe if it actually did happen, I'll be like, wait a minute, I don't like this at all. And then I will refer you back to this Christmas episode of 2022. When we sung a duet of Santa Baby and you said that I could kiss Channing Tatum if I was ever in a room with him. It'll be in our divorce proceedings. You're on. I present to you this evidence. An episode of Suggestible where he clearly said that she could kiss Channing Tatum if I was ever in a room with him. It'll be in our divorce proceedings. Your Honour, I present to you this evidence, an episode of Suggestible, where he clearly said that she could kiss Channing Tatum. And the judge is just like, hold on, hold on.

Starting point is 02:53:12 I see. But also, did you just sing a Christmas shoo-up with a man who really didn't want to? Yes, I did. And also he might like just pipe in with some feelings about the men haven't kissed line. And it's fair enough. I will award him full custody, the judge will say. Of what? Of our two dogs? pipe in with some feelings about the men haven't kissed line. And it's fair enough.

Starting point is 02:53:27 I will award him full custody, the judge will say. Of what? Of our two dogs? Yeah, just the two. And our kids? No, but our kids will be older by this point. I'm imagining we're in our 60s now. Oh, wow. No, I'm thinking like soon.

Starting point is 02:53:36 Oh, yeah, because in my head I was like, I'm not going to be in a room with Channing Tatum in the close future. You're not going to be kissing Channing Tatum at 60. But then again, he will also be 60 plus. This is what I'm not going to be in a room with Channing Tatum in the close future. You're not going to be kissing Channing Tatum at 60. But then again, he will also be 60 plus. This is what I'm saying. That's why in my head I was like, I will have more opportunity. That's sad. That's sad though.

Starting point is 02:53:52 He said, I feel like he'll age like a fine wine. Maybe, but I just feel bad for you, honestly. I just don't, yeah. When I'm in my 60s. Are you serious, Marv? To kiss old Channing Tatum. I am going to be in my prime in my 60s. No, not for you.

Starting point is 02:54:04 I'm saying kissing old Channing Tatum. Would you kiss, would you like. Prefer to kiss the new, young Channing Tatum? I am going to be in my prime in my 60s. No, not for you. I'm saying kissing old Channing Tatum. Would you kiss, would you like. Prefer to kiss the new, young Channing Tatum. Well, what if you kiss not like, if you kiss like Jeff Bridges. Who's that? Okay. Harrison Ford. Oh, yes.

Starting point is 02:54:17 Oh, yeah. You would kiss Harrison Ford. Oh, yeah. He's grumpy. You know I like a grumpy man. But if you were like, I kissed Harrison Ford, I'd be like, what? Why? What do you mean?

Starting point is 02:54:29 In what context? What's happening? In the context where you said that I could kiss Channing Tatum and I felt like Harrison Ford, I'm in the room with him, he's the same echelon of celebrity. He's 80, Claire. That's quite old. Yeah, you don't understand what 80 is until you're up close

Starting point is 02:54:45 and it's in your face. There is a funny episode of Sex and the City where Samantha thinks she can have sex with an 80-year-old dude and then it's the balls that get her. The balls get her, yeah. I think the balls would get you too. This is a terrible start for a Christmas episode. It's fine. Let's do our Christmas recommendations before Christmas is come and gone.

Starting point is 02:55:04 All right. Okay, James, I'm making you do the worst thing before Christmas is come and gone. All right. Okay, James, I'm making you do the worst thing ever. I'm really sorry. Thank you for letting me redo this. This is the opposite of a Christmas gift by many magnitudes. Because I made the last one and it was too low. And it's okay. You only have to sing Santa Baby one more time in your whole life.

Starting point is 02:55:22 I doubt that. Will you actually sing it with me now? I will do it the same way I always do it. Angrily. Alright, let's do it. Let's like just let's start it. It's going to be good. Is it? Yes. Alright. It's going to be fine. I don't believe you. Alright, let's just get through it, okay? Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree.

Starting point is 02:55:48 What's a sable? For me. Yeah, good question. I don't know. Been an awful good girl, Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight. Awful good girl. That doesn't really make sense, does it? It's like two off-posing things.

Starting point is 02:56:05 Okay, so this is Santa Baby, a 54 convertible too. Yeah. 54 convertibles, Claire. What are you, Jay Leno? That's too many. Light blue. I don't know where I'm up to. You wait up for me, dear.

Starting point is 02:56:18 I'll have it. Santa Baby, so hurry down this chimney. It's supposed to be the chimney. No. However I say it is. Alrighty, here we go. Think of all the fun I've missed. Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed.

Starting point is 02:56:38 You're just shaking your head. It's that weird line again. Next year I could be just as good. If you'll check off my Christmas list. Santa baby, I want a yacht. And that's not a lot. It's a lot. It's really expensive.

Starting point is 02:56:56 It's really not that. Isn't that being ironic? It's like, I want a yacht. It's not that much. You've been singing angels all year apparently. I've been singing angels all year. apparently. I've been singing angels all year. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney. Why do you have such a problem with fellas that I haven't kissed?

Starting point is 02:57:12 I feel like that's funny. Well, I don't have a problem with them, I guess. Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex. You are very cute. And checks. Not Santa, you. Oh. Sign your X on the line, Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Starting point is 02:57:30 Hang on. I don't understand why he's signing an X. Does that mean Santa can't sign his own name? I guess. Santa, honey, one little thing I... Come on, James. What is your commitment? No, I'm not commi...

Starting point is 02:57:42 I'm sitting down. That is my commitment. To the D, to a platinum mine, Santa baby, hurry chimney. Yeah, yeah. They're just two awful people. If it even is two people in this song, or is it the same person singing the song? I'm not sure. I don't know.

Starting point is 02:57:59 Come and trim my Christmas tree. That's a really weird one. With some decorations bought at Tiffany's. And as I said, you've never bought me anything from Tiffany's. I really do believe in you. Let's see if you believe in me. I bought you something from Bevels Jewelers. Says a baby.

Starting point is 02:58:23 Oh, my dream. They get to mention one little thing. Yes. Some bling. Isn't Tiffany's the bling? Yeah, no. I don't mean on the phone. No, she's asking you.

Starting point is 02:58:34 Some bling. I don't mean on the phone. Yeah. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Hurry down the chimney. How does this feel longer than the first time we did it? Tonight. Because I made you redo it again.

Starting point is 02:58:55 Add more words to this? No, it's the same length. Thank you very much. It was a better key. Last one was too low and grumpy. This one was better. Oh, because you wanted to do it in my key. Yeah, but this time I did it in my key.

Starting point is 02:59:06 I like to think that that was equally good for me on both times. I think I did both equally well. I feel like you were funnier last time. Thank you. What the fuck? Well, I hope you enjoyed the best of suggestible, the bestibles. I know you did, Claire, didn't you? I wasn't listening.

Starting point is 02:59:23 What? I was drinking. Oh, no. You can't be drinking. It's the middle of the day. What are you doing? What are you doing? But we'll be back for Suggestible soon, won't we, Claire?

Starting point is 02:59:32 Yeah. Yeah, so that's really exciting. Stick around to see if we'll get divorced. Stick around to see if that's going to happen. Stick around for more poems and shapes we recommend to each other. I don't know. I don't know what we do over here. Yeah, we could recommend, though.

Starting point is 02:59:47 What's that? Well, you've got a live show coming up, don't you? An album launch. Yeah. Which is happening. Covers only, just Oasis covers. That's not true. You should know that because you're in it.

Starting point is 02:59:57 Not any good albums either. The later ones. I'll just bring it up your website where this is happening. I'm going to do standing on the shoulder of giants from back to front. There's been a venue and date change, but it's going to be happening on Saturday, February 11th at 1pm at the Brunswick Ballroom. If I'm awake by then, am I right?

Starting point is 03:00:18 Yeah. James, hubby. Nice. So if you want to come down to Claire's show, that would be great. My show. That's right. Launching a new album, Matrescence, where it's going to be all original songs and it's going to be amazing. I've heard your album and I think it's pretty good.

Starting point is 03:00:32 Pretty good, right? Yep, it's pretty good. It's about shapes and planes or something, isn't it? Yeah, shapes and planes. That's what it's called. All right, thanks, everybody. We'll see you soon because it's the new year. It was me the whole time.

Starting point is 03:00:44 It was myself. What? Yeah, that's right. We'll see you soon because it's the new year. It was me the whole time. It was myself. What? Yeah, that's right. I didn't even know. I high-fived and everything. I didn't even notice. Ha-ha. We can wait for clean water solutions.

Starting point is 03:00:57 Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.

Suggestible - Best of Suggestible 2022

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