Suggestible - Big Sexy Santa

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. Hosted by James Clement @mrsundaymovies and Claire Tonti @clairetonti.Claire Tonti LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on Saturday Feb 11th – tickets and info here: https://www.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/claire-tonti/147276This week’s Suggestibles:10:16 Violent Night15:16 The Family Stone22:25 Who Killed Santa? A Murderville Mystery29:21 Something From Tiffany's34:58 SpiritedSend your recommendations to [e-mail], we’d love to hear them.You can also follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook @suggestiblepod and join our ‘Planet Broadcasting Great Mates OFFICIAL’ Facebook Group. So many things. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Boo, Claire. Boo. No, it's Christmas time. We spent half an hour trying to set up this audio recording so you can hand me a song to sing with you. Okay. And it is absolutely not worth it. It's also very early in the morning. And I hate this.

And I've been at a lot of Christmas events and you're so mad at me already. And I'm so sorry. You're not sorry. I've also, okay, you may remember last year I surprised James with a lovely Christmas duet and I think it went pretty well, right? I would argue that it didn't go very well. I would put that forth to you. It is now 9.20 in the morning, which is your worst time of the day.

It's the earliest time I've ever recorded anything. And I also now feel really terrified about giving you this because it's also your least favourite Christmas song. That's a big call because show me the song. Please don't hate me. I love you. I love you very much. What is this one?

Oh, this is awful. This is the worst one. This is the worst one. I know you hate this one. Which parts am I doing? You're doing the yellow highlighter. The most parts. No.

Then the green we sing together. I hate this. I know. But also Christmas joy and such. Welcome to Suggestible everybody, where we recommend you things. And once a year we subject you to a Christmas duet. Getting the Christmas spirit. I will not get in the Christmas spirit. I do have to say that we're literally doing this with like one headphone in each ear. This is the way this year has gone. And next year I promise to be better. I promise to be better prepared,

This is the way this year has gone. And next year I promise to be better. I promise to be better prepared, better on time. This can't be better. Like this is what it is. All right, let's go. Let's start. Why isn't it playing?

Oh, thank God. Here we go. How long is this? It's a little while. How long is it? Three minutes. It's fine. It's fine. Relax.

Okay, ready? I'll do my part, then you can do yours. Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree. Morning, spinning off the good. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight. I have to say, my voice is really like hitting this. I don't like any of this. Something about a convertible.

I can't read this clone in my glasses. You don't even wear glasses. I'm sorry. White blue. Santa. You have to call me dear. Yeah, Santa. Where is Santa?

It's the chimney tonight. Get in here. Come and have a good time. Why is this going very badly? No, it's going well. Think of all the fun I've missed. Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. That's like close to 8 billion people. Next year I could be just as good.

If you'll check off my Christmas list. This next line is Santa Baby, I want a yacht. Yeah. And really that's not a lot. I mean, it's a fair amount. Yeah, I know. I guess it's ironic. Been singing angels all year, Santa Baby, it's a fair amount. Yeah, I know. I guess it's ironic. Been singing angels all year.

Santa, baby, so hard. But I just got a question about that says, think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. Like, what is that even like? Again, that's nearly 8 billion people. Yeah, well, I'm thinking of all of them. Hang on. Santa cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex.

What's a duplex? It's like a condo, like a series of apartments. Sign your ex on the line, Santa cutie. And hurry down the chimney tonight. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, Why am I saying Santa, honey? Because it's your paragraph. It's your line. One little thing. I really do need. I'm doing this spoken word. Like William Shatner in the song Common People.

The deed to a platinum mine. Santa baby. To hurry down the chimney. Nice. Well done. I liked that bit. Come and trim my Christmas tree. No, you didn't trim it.

With some decorations for that Tiffany. We don't have Tiffany's in Australia. Yes, we do. No, we don't. I really do believe in you. You never bought me anything from Tiffany's, actually. Let's see if you believe in me, James Clements. Santa baby. Oh, that's your one?

Yeah, this is me. Mention one little thing. Oh. Yes, please. Is this like an updated one? I don't mean on the phone. Santa baby. So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Oh, thank God. One sec. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Are you leaving me all alone to finish? Yes. Hurry down the chimney tonight. I didn't leave you on the people room. No, but we were supposed to sing like a nice duet, like a P at the end.

This is never going to. To give the people what they want. It's not going to happen the way that you think it's going to happen. I know, but I gave you an easy song so that you would be able to do it with me. I've never sung this. I don't sing. I did it in your key so that you'd be able to like.

What do you mean my key? I don't have a key. You do, low and grumpy. But I did a really easy song so you could join in with me. This is not easy for me, Claire. Because last year you just yelled at me most of the time. This is not easy for me. This is an absolute nightmare, a living nightmare.

Well, God, your life's pretty easy. I want to have like recurring nightmares about this. It's like one of those dreams where you think you're still at school and you're like, oh, fuck. But you know what? You said to me I could have one song a year. Yeah, you can do a song. As long as I didn't surprise you anymore.

I don't have to participate. Next year, we're doing it again next year. Yeah, you can do a song. I don't have to participate. We're doing it again next year. That's it. You said I could. I'm not going to stop you, but I will not entertain it any more than I have to. Marriage is a very long time. I'm thinking of all the fellas that I have.

Is it? Not for everybody. And I would like you. Some people opt out. Some people opt out. I don't get that line. Like it's not like I'm not like this is offensive. Like I just don't get it.

What do you mean think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed? Like what does that? I think she's saying I've been very good. Oh, like I could have kissed a bunch of fellas and I haven't. Yes, I could have kissed a bunch of fellas, Santa. But instead I'm just hanging out with you and your white curly beard. If that's true, if someone was like think of all the people that I haven't kissed, I'd be like, name the people that you haven't kissed.

Name the people that you could have kissed that you haven't. I would want to know specifically. There's a lot of elves in the North Pole. I don't think it's really Santa though, is it? Like she's singing it to like, I don't know. She's singing to Santa. But it's not really Santa, is it? It is Santa.

Well, I don't know. Maybe it's like George dressed up as Santa at her office Christmas party. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of those weird sex things and whatever. But also, is Santa a sex thing for some people? Sometimes he's a sex thing. I've got a thing this week where he's maybe a sex thing, Claire. Oh, no.

You really do like to sit on my Christmas joy, don't you? It's true. And some people like to sit on Santa, apparently. Yeah. But, like, okay, so say if it was you, for example, and you're like, think of all the men that I haven't kissed this year. I'd be like, name them. And then if you named them and I'm like, they're all duds.

Like, that would be bad for you. But if I was like, wow, those are actually really sexy, I appreciate that. You could have kissed some sexy men and you didn't. So thank you. Is there anyone particularly on the list that you would have been like, well, those are actually really sexy. I appreciate that. You could have kissed some sexy men and you didn't. So thank you. Is there anyone particularly on the list that you would have been like, thank you, I really know how much you love me now because you did kiss him. What about Channing Tatum? If I was in a room with Channing Tatum.

I would be okay if you kissed Channing Tatum, I think. Would you? Yeah, probably. If I had the opportunity. Yeah, I reckon. Good. Excellent. I'll put that in my list of things that will potentially one day never happen. But you never know, James. I don't know. Maybe if it actually did happen, I'll be that in my list of things that will potentially one day never happen. But you never know, James.

I don't know. Maybe if it actually did happen, I'll be like, wait a minute, I don't like this at all. And then I will refer you back to this Christmas episode of 2022. You're right. When we sung a duet of Santa Baby and you said that I could kiss Channing Tatum if I was ever in a room with him. It'll be in our divorce proceedings.

You're right. I present to you this evidence, an episode of Suggestible where he clearly said that she could kiss Channing Tatum. And the judge is just like, hold on, hold on. I see, but also did you just sing a Christmas show with a man who really didn't want to? Yes, I did. And also he might like just pipe in with some feelings

about the men haven't kissed line. And it's fair enough. I will award him full custody, the judge will say. Of what? Of our two dogs? Yeah, just the two. And our kids? No, but our kids will be older by this point.

I'm imagining we're in our 60s now. Oh, wow. No, I'm thinking like soon. Oh. Oh, yeah, because in my head I was like, I'm not going to be in a room with Channing Tatum in the close future. You're not going to be kissing Channing Tatum at 60. But then again, he will also be 60 plus.

This is what I'm saying. That's why in my head I was like I will have more opportunity to kiss older. That's sad though. He said I feel like he'll age like a fine wine. Maybe, but I just feel bad for you, honestly. I just don't, yeah. When in my 60s?

Are you serious, Marv? To kiss old Channing Tatum. I am going to be in my prime in my 60s. Not for you. I'm saying kissing old Channing Tatum. Would you kiss, would you like? Prefer to kiss the new, young Channing Tatum. I am going to be in my prime. Not for you. I'm saying kissing old Channing Tatum. Would you kiss, would you like. Prefer to kiss the new, young Channing Tatum. Well, what if you kiss like Jeff Bridges? Who's that? Okay. Harrison Ford. Oh yes. Oh yeah. You would kiss Harrison Ford. Oh yeah. He's grumpy. He's 80. You know I like a grumpy man.

But if you were like, I kissed Harrison Ford, I'd be like, what? Why? What do you mean? In what context? What's happening? In the context where you said that I could kiss Channing Tatum and I felt like Harrison Ford, I'm in the room with him, he's the same echelon of celebrity.

He's 80, Claire. That's quite old. Yeah, you don't understand what 80 is until you're up close and it's in your face. There is a funny episode of Sex and the City where Samantha thinks she can have sex with an 80-year-old dude and then it's the balls that get her. The balls get her, yeah. I think the balls would get you too.

Why are we? This is a terrible start for a Christmas episode. It's fine. Let's do our Christmas recommendations before Christmas is come and gone. All right. Who wants to start? Well, I brought my first recommendation, which was a Santa baby that I'm regretting now.

You can do yours next. Okay, well, I'm going to recommend. Actually, I just watched this because it just came to streaming. It's called, I'm just going to talk about this briefly because I haven't made any notes on it and I've forgotten the name of it. It's called, hang on. Oh, no. What is it called? It's called Violent on. Oh, no. What is it called?

It's called Violent Night. Oh, Lord. Speaking of sexy Santa. This Christmas episode has gone from bad to worse. Remember the year where I just shared all the Christmas things that I've ever loved? Yeah, I know. And then you burnt out literally everything you've done.

I know. So this movie, Violent Night, stars David Harbour, who you might know from Stranger Things. Yes, I know who David Harbour is. As Santa. Yes, I love him. As big, sexy Santa. He's a giant Santa, but he's real Santa, right?

Did you say big, sexy Santa? He's a big, sexy Santa. There's a real thief in this episode. Yeah, absolutely. That should be the title, colleagues, big, sexy Santa. Look at this dude. Look how big and sexy he is. Love David Harbour.

He is actually great. He's the best. Speaking of grumpy men, he's one of the good ones. Yeah, unless he's cancelled, in which case. Oh, the judge will be saying. I always got to put the caveat in that until the person gets cancelled, I think they're great. All right.

But anyway, he's not cancelled at the moment and that's good. That is good. And he stars as Santa Claus himself, right? But he's a bit burnt out. He's sick of Christmas because, like, kids just want video games and cash and he's sick of it and the Christmas spirit is waning. Anyway, he goes to deliver presents at a particular estate and there's a little girl there as well and she still believes in Christmas.

Anyway, terrorists bust in. They're trying to do a big heist on the estate, on this rich family, and David Harbour has to die hard Santa his way through, killing like a bunch of terrorists and stuff. So it's die Hard but with Santa. I actually. And also there's a fair amount of Home Alone in it, one specific sequence where it's just like, oh, this is Home Alone

and everyone is saying it's Home Alone as it's happening. You couldn't handle it. It's way too. But I kind of love this. It's super violent. Oh, I guess it is called Violent Christmas. It's crazy violent, yeah. But I do love this concept. Yeah super violent. Oh, I guess it is called Violent Christmas. It's crazy violent, yeah. But I do love this concept.

Yeah, it's good. I liked it. It's much better than the you recommended that horrible thing where people get trapped in a snow dome. Yeah, but it's probably could be tighter. Like it's, you know, like Die Hard is like the perfect action movie. It's just like the perfect amount of time and sequences. Like it's not like trimmed like that. but it's good and he's just terrific

as Santa and you find out about his past and what happened with his marriage and all these things and his relationship with Christmas and where he's initially from and all of this stuff. David Harper just makes a good, fun Santa and a good action kind of star as well. He definitely would make a good, he's great in Stranger Things. Yeah, there's a bit where he gets a sledgehammer and it's just great. Okay, why is that, we've talked about this before, why is that great?

Why? That he's like, I'm assuming, knocking people's heads off with sledgehammers. I don't know, it just is. So weird to me. Yeah. He's got a little bit of magic but not a lot. He's not really sure how any of it works but it does. He's got like a magic sack and they're like, how does this work?

And he's like, I don't know. I love a bewildered Santa like that. Yeah. Particularly him. I love his bewilderment. Yeah. And his confused face. Yeah.

David Harbour does a really good confused, I don't know, face. And it's great because like he doesn't hide it. Like there's a bit of the strawberries at the bar and they're just like, oh, is Christmas going or whatever? And he's like, yeah, it sucks or whatever. I'm Santa and whatever. And they're like, ha, ha, ha, and whatever. And it's through the movie, like, when they interrogate him,

they're like, who are you? And he's like, I'm Santa. And they're like, who are you really? And he's like, I just can't explain. It's just like he doesn't hide it. He's just so just fed up. He's like, I'm saying i'm santa claus just stop he's just like you your energy in a santa man that's great i really enjoyed i don't think you would enjoy it as much as me it does sound fun but i love home alone

then maybe i like it it's super again it's super violent could i hide under a cushion probably yeah it sounds like not something we would show our children. No, definitely not. Do you know what though? I do feel like that is very indicative of how Santa would feel at this point. Definitely. He's been doing it for a long time. Yeah. Really.

He's just sick of delivering like video games. He's just always just bringing out video games and he's like. It's so not magical, is it? It's not magical. I mean, it would be magical for kids though. Yeah. If you love video games. If you love video games, sure.

Like including us and who we heard singing this morning in the kitchen. He's having a great time on holidays. It's so magical. I mean, it would be magical for kids though. Yeah. If you love video games. If you love video games, sure. Like including us and who we heard singing this morning in the kitchen. He's having a great time on holidays. I'd forgotten that vibe of a kid on holidays. It's the best. It's incredible. It's the best feeling. And there's Christmas around the corner.

It's so good. Anyway, okay, cool. Violent Christmas. Violent night. Violent night. Okay, is it my turn now? It's your turn now. Here I go. Here she goes. Here I go. Oh, it's another song. Ohent Night. Violent Night. Okay, is it my turn now? It's your turn now. Here I go.

Here she goes. Here I go. Oh, it's another song. Oh, no. It's that baby. Stop hitting people with hammers. It's violent. You're okay.

Just have some yoga. John Leguizamo and he was Luigi in the most similar movie. There you go. All right, I have a kind of rom-com to recommend, The Family Stone. It's an old, old movie. Well, not that old, but it's fairly old. It's a classic though. It's really excellent. It has an amazing cast of people, including Diane Keaton,

one of my faves who I now follow on Instagram, and she's fucking hilarious. I love that woman. I remember when we saw this movie. You remember that thing? I didn't even remember. When it came out in like 2006 or whenever it was. Yeah.

And then the other day you were like, what's The Family Stone like? And I'm like, we've seen it. We saw it together. That's your encyclopedic memory in my fish brain. I do not remember anything. Anyway, let me give you a little synopsis, as James would say, of The Family Stone. An uptight, conservative businesswoman, a little synopsis, as James would say, of The Family Stone.

An uptight conservative businesswoman, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, accompanies her boyfriend to his eccentric and outgoing family's annual Christmas celebration, of whom Diane Keating plays the mother. Is it Dermot Mulroney? Uh-huh. And finds that she's a fish out of water in their free-spirited way of life. So it's set in the fictional town of Thayer, New England, and the film focuses on Everett Stone and his rambunctious liberal family. Meredith, Everett's anxious and bubbling yet refined

and educated girlfriend, as I said, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, is dreading spending the Christmas holidays with them and that's kind of what ensues. Oh. Yeah, it comes to light actually as this film progresses that Sybil, who is the mother, Diane Keating, is a breast cancer survivor and potentially her diagnosis reemerges. So there's kind of that dynamic playing out underneath it all.

There's just so much chemistry between the cast. I'd forgotten how awesome it is. It's directed by Thomas Bazooka and written by him as well, produced by Michael London. Rachel McAdams also is wonderful and plays a sister and she is really horribly mean and great and sarcastic. I remember enjoying the Rachel McAdams of it all. Yeah, she's really excellent in this and the kind of chemistry between her and then Diane Keating is just so good. And then also Claire Danes appears as the sister of Sarah Jessica Parker. And that kind of dynamic is really interesting as well.

I won't spoil it because it is kind of a rom-com, but I think the best bit about it is the dialogue. You know, I'm really into some great, great, great scripting. And if anyone has a dysfunctional family, which I feel like almost all of us have some kind of dysfunction going on in our families, especially at Christmas, I feel like this is kind of a perfect movie in that it encapsulates, I mean, obviously it's really heightened and Sarah Jessica Parker's kind of really uptight businesswoman vibe, you know, it's all hammed up and over the top. However, it really does a great job of showing what it's like to be in a family

with so many layers going on of complexity and old family jokes. And when you bring someone new into it who just does not fit that mould and what it's like for them and what it's like for the family and then the bickering between siblings and the sibling rivalry and all of that stuff as well, There's just so many amazing scenes. I really love it. I remember liking it. Yeah, I think it's also got heart too and I won't spoil the ending

but it does really get you in the sads too. It kind of does that favourite thing I like where it makes you laugh and makes you cry, James. Yeah, sure. Which I think is really excellent. And I'd just forgotten how much I really enjoyed it. So when I rewatched it. No, you'd not only forgotten how much you really enjoyed it.

I'd forgotten that I'd watched it at all. You'd forgotten you'd seen it in its entirety. Correct. Yes, exactly. Well, Claire, with only a 52% on of Rotten Tomatoes, I can't say that it was one of the most critically lauded movies of the year, but I can say with a budget of $18 million and a box office return of $92.9 million that it was quite the moderate hit. Oh, well, there you go. Well but I can say with a budget of $18 million and a box office return of 92.9 that it was quite the moderate hit.

Oh, well, there you go. Well, I can see why. So I'm in the middle of compiling the biggest bombs and hits of the year, so I've got box office on the brain. Box office on the brain. Box office brain. That's some alliteration there, box office brain. Box office brain.

Box office brain. Hello, I'm box office brain. I will say as well there's quite an interesting discussion. Everett's brother is gay and also deaf and his partner Patrick, so it's Patrick and Thad, are there as well at the dinner table and there's kind of an interesting discussion when they're planning to adopt a child and they kind of talk about nature versus nurture and sexual orientation and all that stuff and it gets kind of prickly.

It gets very prickly, Claire. It does. And that kind of stuff as well, right, always happens around the Christmas table. What do you do when you have a relative who's like, climate change is another thing? I don't know. Just kick them out of the family.

No tolerance. No tolerance, no acceptance. It's Christmas. There's no time for any of that. Yeah, anyway, if you're out there and your family is very different to you. No, everyone's got a kook who's just like, well, I think this. And it's like, okay. Yeah.

Go talk to your 13 fucking followers on Twitter. No one gives a shit. And I mean about anything. Ouch. That's not a political. I'm not taking your particular political stance, Claire. I see. But people know where I stand on things.

Well, what I am just saying is that if you are very different to your family or there's complexities going on around you, I just want to say a big Christmas love to you and go watch The Family Stone once you leave your family or there's complexities going on around you, I just want to say a big Christmas love to you and go watch The Family Stone once you leave your family. How big is this person you're pretending to hug? It's Santa. Oh, Santa baby. If you've got a complex family at Christmas, you'll be okay.

If your dynamic is that there's a guy there and he sucks and he's always like racism isn't real or whatever. Yeah. Then you just, you can switch off and not engage. Joe Rogan is my hero. Yay. All of that stuff. Joe Rogan's everybody's hero.

Do you reckon things are more complex too after COVID as well because people have very different views? Yeah, I think it's just, everyone's just fucking kook city on the internet, mate. That's what it is. I know a friend of mine was saying there's been a family rift because two of the family members have refused to get vaccinated and then turned up at last family Christmas and didn't tell

anyone they weren't vaccinated until they arrived. Oh, that's wild. I know. Wild. It's just all very complex. Anyway, Glenna Doyle, who you know I always love, always posts this thing at Christmas where she's just like, if you're in the bathroom taking some deep breaths and you're at your family lunch, just remember that after this,

you can go back to the life that you built for yourself with the people that you love. Exactly. And it'll all be okay. And if someone's trying to rile you up, and they will, there's always one. There's always an older guy trying to, like, rile up a younger person. Yeah, it's like you can't say anything these days. Just fucking grey rock them.

What does that mean? Grey rock means you give no response that's, like, that's emotional. You just go, oh, yeah, whatever, and they fucking hate that. Just grey rock the shit outrock them. What does that mean? Greyrock means you give no response that's emotional. You just go, oh, yeah, whatever, and they fucking hate that. Just Greyrock the shit out of them. They're looking for a fight, so don't give them the fight. Greyrock them and then say it's been wonderful to see you. Jeez, your opinions are in there. You're really good at doing that.

I'll Greyrock the shit out of someone. I can Greyrock somebody for their entire lifespan. Yeah, you can. You really hold a grudge. I forget. I forget. But you really hold it and you will. Grey can. You really hold a grudge. I forget. I forget. But you really hold it and you will. Grey Rock isn't about holding a grudge.

No, it's just not. Is it not engaging? Not engaging or just like this is a loony who's trying to whine. Not even, just someone who's trying to whine me up. Yeah. Actually, a friend of mine gave me some great advice recently and it was very obvious, which I guess is just Grey Rocking. She's just like you can decide your own vibe. So like you

can't control anyone else, but you can figure out your reaction to it. It's true. So grey rock. Grey rock. Anyway. It's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Let's go on. What's your next recommendation?

This one I think you'll enjoy, Claire. It's called Who Killed Santa? A Murderville Mystery. Krista Johnson serves as showrunner on this series. And it's actually based on the BBC series of a similar name called Murder in Successville. So Detective Terry Seattle, who's played by Will Arnett, who you might know from things. Did you ever watch?

Do you know Will Arnett? I do know Will Arnett. Do you? I think so. Remind me. Can you picture him? He sounds very familiar though. Yeah, well, he's a famous person.

That's probably why he sounds familiar to you. Okay. This is Will Arnett. Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course. From Arrested Development. He's liking on many things. Yeah, he's amazing. He pops up all the time.

Anyway. Comedic. Very. Well, yes, of course. From Arrested Development. He's liking on many things. Yeah, he's amazing. He pops up all the time. Anyway. Comedic. Very. Well, this is comedic. He plays Detective Terry Seattle. And this is a series that was like six or seven episodes on Netflix at the start of the year, and they just released this Christmas special. And what they do, it's an improv murder mystery.

So everybody is scripted, including Will Arnett, though he can go off script because he's always paired with a real celebrity who has to come in and solve a murder, except they don't know any of the lines. So they come in and they're like, what's the situation? And they're like, I don't know what's happening or whatever. So this episode stars Jason Bateman, who's also, do you know him? Yes, I do. He's from Ozark.

So he's come in as himself to solve this murder mystery, and then later in the episode, Maya Rudolph, who's also incredible. Do you know her? No. You definitely do. Oh, just Google her and show me a photo again. I will Google her, Claire. As you do, and then you turn your little camera.

And then I turn the laptop around. And I go, I know her. And everyone goes, this is boring because it's an audio medium. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, I love her. Bridesmaids. She's in Bridesmaids. So funny.

Yeah, yeah. Anyways, so this particular episode, they have to find out Oh, I love her, Bridesmaids. She's in Bridesmaids, exactly. So funny. Yeah, yeah. Hilarious. So this particular episode they have to find out who killed Santa Claus and they have to figure it out before morning arrives because all the presents have to be delivered to an orphanage and whatever. So it's just unravelling a series of clues and doing interviews. It's like real-life clue, right, with the celebrities trying to improv and and determine what's going on where all these clues kind of come up in their in their in their face and it's it's like it's silly and chaotic and will arnett is amazing like he's he's obviously like an

excellent comedic talent but he's also like his improv skills are amazing him and jason bateman also know each other because they were on Arrested Development together, but he doesn't break character. Like he stays as this grizzled detective like the entire time. There's some other celebrity cameos that kind of pop up along the way. And the reveal of who the murderer is, because at the end they have to stand in a room and then decide who they think it is. It's great. It just gets, it's really, I don't want to spoil, I kind of want to spoil it, but I won't spoil it. It's just really silly and dumb and it's just dumb and funny and stupid and you can see them breaking like as they're doing it, like they're all kind of trying to keep it together.

And it's just, it's just, this is nice and fun and I like it. It's going to be fun. It sounds great actually. Yeah, you might like it. Is it better or worse than David Harbour hitting people with a sledgehammer? They're different. I would say they're both good in their own ways. Oh, interesting.

Both equally great. That's right. All right. Well, that's a little bit more joyful. Yeah. Christmas joy. I'm working my way up to the most joyful thing of all. Oh, all right.

I see. A sexy Santa outfit? No. Ba-dum, ba-dum, Santa right. I see. A sexy Santa outfit? No. Santa baby. No. Actually, I'm going to talk about a show where Santa kidnaps a bunch of children and makes them work in a coal mine. That's not true.

That's just bringing up horrible memories for me of, as you know, do you remember the scariest villain for me? I don't know what you're going to say yet. That dude from the child snatcher. Yes, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I don't know what it is about that guy, but he's terrifying to me. He's more terrifying than anything. Yeah?

I mean, I haven't watched that many horror movies. Also, I think it's the stringy hair. It's the bulbous nose. It's the weird offering the sweets, and then they get it, and it's a trap. I hate it. I hate him. Children could overpower that man.

You get enough children. You get four children, you overpower that guy. Maybe that's what he is. He's like so weaselly. I know, but I hate it. I hate him. Children could overpower that man. You get enough children. You get four children, you overpower that guy. Maybe that's why he's just like so weaselly. I know, but I hate that guy. Has he got a big hook hand or something? No, he doesn't. He's just really pasty. He doesn't even have a hook hand.

He's just like, no, maybe. I don't think so. I think he's just got like droopy like black hair. I don't know. He freaks me out. He got me right at that particular point in my childhood, and I don't know why, but that particular character. He's not even that spooky.'t know. He freaks me out. He got me right at that particular point in my childhood, and I don't know why, but that particular character. He's not even that spooky.

I know. I'm looking at him here. Don't show me. No. Look at this guy. Oh, no, you're ruining my Christmas job. He's just like a. He looks like a weird clown.

I know. He's just got a big neck. He looks like anemic Professor Snape. And Professor Snape already looks anemic. I know. I know. I know. I know. I don't know.

It's not logical. This guy drank a strong coffee. It'd kill him. Anyways, go on. Yes, please, a double espresso. Oh, I'm dead. I'm not like, yeah, I'm not like a, you know, I'm not a particularly physically, you know, I could pick this guy up and if i could break him over my knee

like i'm bane you did save me from the river did i tell that story last week on the podcast i thought you meant the other time i saved you from the river where that guy approached us when we were crossing a bridge and there was that guy who was all tweaked out. And you just went, no. No, we were in the city and we were walking to an event or something and a guy, obviously many alcohols, having a real rough time. He was not in his right mind. But you didn't say anything other than no. You were just like, no.

You don't remember this, but I saw him making a beeline for us. He was walking straight for you. And I said, I don't remember, I said, just stand behind me. And then he went up and I just put my hand out like he was a dog and I went, no. And he went, okay. And he just kind of, and that was it. It was terrible.

It was terrible. Yeah. Anyway. But he was like. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. It was not a, I wasn't, I'm not like, wow, what a hero. No, he wasn't all there.

It was just like, oh, this is. No, I was talking about when I dropped my daughter's water bottle into the river. Yes, and I dragged her out of the river. And I tried to get it out with my feet. And then you gave me one of your, I gave you one of my hands and you were like, it's not happening. You have to give me both. Give me both of your hands.

And then you dragged me out of the river. I could lift you out of the river. Like a piece of meat. You're like, oh. Yeah. I feel like, did I tell that story last have to give me both. Give me both of your hands. And then you dragged me out of the river like a piece of meat. You're like, oh. Yeah, I feel like, did I tell that story last week? I think so. Oh, okay. Well, that's what happened. That's what happened.

You dragged me up the riverbank. Yeah. And our kids were watching horrified. Luckily, I kept my cool. You absolutely did not keep your cool. You panicked the entire time. I was panicking so bad. But it was so slippery.

So every time I tried to get a footing, I was just sliding further and further into the mighty Yarra River, which, by the way, was fairly high and you can't see anything in there. So you just don't know what submerged logs and all kinds of things. The only thing I could see in there was you. And the frozen water bottle. Yeah. Anyway, my turn.

Blaze. Okay, so I have a very perfect Christmas rom-com. Wow. It's not, I wouldn't say it's like the caliber of The Holiday, one of my all-time faves with hottest Jude Law of all time. That movie sucks. The Holiday? Yep.

No, it's excellent. Everyone thinks it's bad. No, they don't. I'm just on the internet and everyone's like, this movie sucks now. Everyone's cancelled in it. Yeah. No, Kate Winslet's not cancelled. No, it says they're all cancelled. Oh, you're the worst. So's cancelled in it. Yeah. No, Kate Winslet's not cancelled.

No, it says they're all cancelled. Oh, you're the worst. So they all did a terrible thing. Whatever. I can't even say what it is. It's so terrible. You're the worst. Yeah, go on.

Can I keep continuing now? All right, everyone agrees the holiday is one of the all-time best. The one that is cancelled is Love Actually. When you rewatch that again, it's just like old men wanting to have sex with hot women. That's what I love about the holiday, not the holiday, the Love Actually. When you rewatch that again, it's just like old men wanting to have sex with hot women. That's what I love about The Holiday. Not The Holiday. The Love Actually. It's like this.

Wow. This is. Yeah. Jesus. And one of the storylines is literally like a porn film. Yeah. It's just. That's probably the least problematic one.

Yeah. Which is really bizarre. Anyway. By the by. We're talking about something from Tiffany's with Zoe Deutsch. Zoe Deutsch. I got Zoe Deutsch. Anyway, she's really great.

I love Zoe Deutsch. She plays. For a nepo baby. What does that mean? It's a nepotism baby. Oh, you were ranting about that in the kitchen. No, I wasn't ranting. I was like, look at that.

There was that article that came out. It's like all these famous people are related to people. It's like, yeah, no shit. Of course they are. That's happened forever. Yeah, I know. Anyway, let me get back to something from Tiffany's. Oh, we love Carrie Fisher. She's so talented. Yeah. You know. Anyway, let me get back to something. Carrie Fisher. Oh, we love Carrie Fisher.

I love you, Carrie Fisher. She's so talented. Yeah. You know. Anyway, and so is her mother, Debbie Reynolds. It's true. That documentary. Both cancelled, though.

Both cancelled by life. God. Well, yeah, they are both dead. They are. Do not talk about our favourite people in such terrible terms. I apologise. Both of those women are icons and heroes of mine. Anyway, that documentary with the two of them is sheer gold.

Is that what you're talking about this week? No, but I just want to say this point. Debbie Reynolds is my spirit animal because she has had like arthritis and a whole lot of health problems and was like clearly struggling. But as soon as the stage lights hit the stage, that woman turned on like a torch. She's like, damn. And it was so amazing to watch this woman who's just been

in like the entertainment biz for so many years and just clearly so talented that she just exploded on stage and then she comes off and like hobbling and can't walk. I just find that endlessly amazing. It's like that Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett concert and he has Alzheimer's but she brought him up on stage and suddenly that part of his brain that had music in it just lit up and he couldn't even remember her name until he got on stage and it was just amazing.

It makes me cry. Anyway, back to something from T.W.D. Yeah, back for something relevant. Okay, so it's a 2022 American romantic comedy. Now it's directed by Daryl Ween, a screenplay by Tamara Chesna, and it's actually produced by Hello Sunshine, which is Reese Witherspoon's production company. She's always doing a production.

And she just gets what women want and women need on television. She's got what women want on DVD. And this movie is not groundbreaking. It has a fairly standard plot line in terms of, like, chemistry, meat, obstacles happen. But it's at Christmastime. It's set in New York. The lead character, played by Zoe Deutsch, is like a baker, restaurateur.

She's dating this guy who's clearly not that great but a little bit flaky and horrible to her. They've been dating for about three years. He has an accident. He falls on the road and the love interest played by Kendrick Sampson, who is excellent in this, is with his daughter at that time and sees her boyfriend have this accident. They both have a little bag from Tiffany's and accidentally pick

up the wrong one. One of them has an engagement ring in it. What? And the other one has a pair of earrings. And so there's a switcheroo like in all good rom-coms and accidentally Kendrick Sampson's character gives his girlfriend the earrings at Christmas. I'm not going to lie.

I've completely lost track of who's who and what jewellery is what, but please continue. All right. No, no, don't. So Zoe Deutsch gets given. I shouldn't have said anything. I don't care. All right, well, Zoe Deutsch's character gets given.

Zoe Deutsch's character opens up her Christmas present and her boyfriend thinks it's going to be earrings because that's what he bought her, but it's actually engagement ring. And instead of being like, oh no, that's strange and an accident, he just goes along with it. And so she thinks he's proposed to her. And is she happy with this? And she's sort of semi happy, but you get the feeling he's actually a jerk and he really is a jerk as you find out later on. And her love interest, which is Kendrick Sampson, where like they kind of meet because he helped her boyfriend. They meet in the hospital.

They have all this like zingy chemistry and he's a really nice guy. And you find out that his wife died and like a couple of years ago around Christmas time. And that's really. Why did he buy an engagement ring then? Well, cause he's got a girlfriend too and he wanted to give his daughter a mother. Right. And so he goes to propose to this woman but it turns out she's not very nice either and they're not really suited to each other.

Oh, no. I know. And so that's how it kind of unfolds. It's probably a little problematic in spots but really it's gorgeous and exactly what you want from a rom-com. Christmas-y, there's some bread baking in it. There's just like gorgeous scenes of like Christmas lights and all the things.

And Zoe Deutsch's hilarious and funny and adorable outfits are on point. It's lovely. Claire, you're not going to want to hear this. Okay. I'm just looking online. Yes. Everybody in this movie is cancelled. They did a similar thing to the cast.

I'm getting a sense that most people are getting cancelled. Yeah. They did a similar thing to the cast. I'm getting a sense that most people are getting cancelled. Yeah, they did a similar thing. I can't even say it again because it's so, it's just awful. Honestly, it breaks my heart to see this, to see what they've done. What have they done? I can't tell you, Claire. Oh, God.

It's just heartbreak. All right, okay. Yeah. Are we done now? Are you done? No, I've got one more. Trashing my Chris's recommendation. This is one that I think you will enjoy.

Oh. Maybe not. I don't know. Okay. It's called Spirited. It's directed by Sean Anders. Right. Why are you talking like that?

Are you okay? Ryan Reynolds. I'm not doing this. Spencer. Why are you talking like that? This is a synopsis. Why are you talking like that? This is a musical version of

Charles Dickens' story. You know, like Christmas Carol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this. I actually could see this. Yes, I see it. Of a miserly misanthrope who's taken on a magical journey. Right. Sounds like you. Yes. So it's basically

Will Ferrell plays like the guy who has to take the guy on the magical journey. Yes, yes, yes. It's a spoiler alert who he is, but you work it out pretty quickly who he actually is, who this guy is, who he is, because, you know, it's a Christmas carol, right? Except it's modern day and a Christmas carol really happened in real life.

So they go to Ryan Reynolds and they're like, this is the worst guy in the world. We can change him with Christmas ghosts and shit. And it's like how they do it is it's a production. It's like the way they get someone on side. They're like a, it's like a production. Like I said, production. Are you okay, Sija?

Are you okay? I was trying to think of another word for production. We're really crawling over the line. So basically it's all like rehearsals and costumes and all this kind of stuff to get somebody to become a good person in the spirit of Christmas and in doing so they affect the lives of X number of people, right? But the thing is it's also a musical.

There's a number of musical numbers in this. This is my thing. Ryan Reynolds in a musical? Yeah, and Will Ferrell. They're both really good. Holy moly. They're so great. They're good together as well.

I feel like Will Ferrell hasn't done like a movie that I've really enjoyed in a while. I agree. But this one I did. Also, Ryan Reynolds knows what a Christmas Carol is. So they come to him and he's just like, I'm not having any of this. And I refuse to participate. That sounds like exactly what you would say if a spooky ghost turned up.

You would be like, no, I'm done. He's just like, move it along. No, thank you. Or they're like, look at this memory. You would be like, no, I'm done. He's just like, move it along. No, thank you. Or they're like, look at this memory. And he's like, no. So they journey through like his past, his present, and his future, how these things go. They explore Will Ferrell's character where he has been

and Ferrell. I think I said Ferrell. You did Ferrell. He's a little Ferrell. Of where he was in the past and what he wants to be in the modern day. Again, big musical numbers and they're pretty good. I also say.

Do they sing Santa Baby? No, they sing original show tunes, Claire. It's probably a bit long. I didn't find it a bit long. People have said that it's probably a bit long because it's probably like two and a half hours. I didn't find that at all. I thought it was, I didn't think it dragged at all.

I thought it was, I thought it was great. On point. It's probably too much for kids. It's probably also confusing if they don't know what a Christmas carol is. It's maybe John the Muppets one or the Disney, the 30 minute Disney one. I don't know. But it's delightful. And I had a great time, Claire.

Wow. It's on Apple TV+. Unfortunately though, James, I have something to tell you. Oh no. They're all cancelled. What did they do? Oh, I can't tell you. It to tell you. Oh, no. They're all cancelled. What did they do? Oh, I can't tell you. It's too awful.

Oh, no. It's too awful. All I will say is they're all done. They're all done. All of them. That's terrible news. Even Will Ferrell. I believe you.

Because he is Ferrell. It's Christmas and I believe you. Anyways, I was going to give it two bells up. Wowza. That's a lot for you. But now I give it no bells up because they're all cancelled. Also, Spirited is on. No, sorry.

And the other one, Who Killed Santa? It's a Netflix show. And the other one about the David Harbour's Santa, that's on whatever because it's on streaming. I should say as well, back to my Christmassy notes, the Family Stone is available on lots of places actually now. Wow, that's really helpful. And Something from Tiffany's is available on Amazon Prime.

Wow. Yeah, there you go. Great. It's really worth it. It's really fun. Claire, did you know that you can send this show a review by doing it in it? No. And I'll probably read it out.

Can I just say, all the people that do this throughout the year, you're our bloody favourites and we love you. As I always say, James, we have the best listeners. And as I always say, stop patronising them. They don't appreciate it. No, I'm not patronising them. As you know, I'm being sincere. That's my stick.

This five-star review, though, you're not going to believe it. You're going to find this hard to believe. It was written by Wamas Kalina. Wowza. Just in app. Just in app. Can you do it right there while you're listening with the ear balls? It says, great show, but time isn't a construct.

Thank you. I agree. No, you said it was. Oh. Really great show with solid suggestions that aren't just shallow pics but every time Claire says time isn't real, I die a bit inside, 10 out of 10 or 5 out of 5, whatever, which is true because even though, even if you're not measuring time, Claire, say using a clock or like a watch or a wall clock or a digital clock or a sundial, things

still move forward regardless. Time is not a construct, Claire. It is a very clear and defined rule of the universe. Oh, look, I don't know. It's a force, Claire. No one knows anything. Like Star Wars. No one really knows anything.

Everybody knows everything. It's all made up. No, this isn't made up. It's made up. Time is real. It's a force, Claire. No one knows anything. Like Star Wars. No one really knows anything. Everybody knows everything. It's all made up. No, this isn't made up. It's made up. Time is real. No. You're all living in a fantasy of time. No, it's real.

Have you not ever seen the movie Sliding Doors? Yeah. There are multiple times in reality. Yeah, but it's still time. The world is much more complex than anyone can understand. No one's actually measuring time. Everybody's measuring time. Nobody is. Literally everybody. No one really knows. It's much more complex than anyone can understand. No one's actually measuring time. Everybody's measuring time. Nobody is.

Literally everybody. No one really knows. It's all relative. It's all. What's the letter? I'm sorry, mate. What's the goddamn letter? If you would like to write a review in, not a review,

do a review in the app. If you would like to write a recommendation, we would love that or a letter, something to tell us. We would love to hear from you. Jessapod.gmail.com. Thank you so much to everyone who has written us in throughout the year. It honestly makes my day. Here is a wonderful

review. Actually, I'll stop. Why am I saying review? I just want people to tell us how great we are. No, a recommendation from Mitch Roberts. Claire, I've just Googled it. It's cancelled. He's done a terrible thing. My heart just stopped.

I thought you were going to tell me that we haven't recorded this episode or something because we're really on our last legs. Actually, this isn't even a recommendation. It's just a wonderful let up. I don't know if you remember last week I talked about the Emma Thompson movie, something Leo Brand. What's it called? I can't remember.

Get your balls out, Leo Brand or whatever. Yes. Good luck to you, Leo Brand. There you go. My brain's come back online. All right. Mitch Roberts has written in. Hi, Claire and James.

My name is Mitch. Long time, first time. I know what you did, Mitch. What prompted me to write. Oh, is he cancelled? He's cancelled, Claire. He's not. What prompted me to write this to you is that I got to meet Dame Emma Thompson

during her press tour for Good Luck to You, Leo Grand. I was part of the production of Jekyll and Hyde, the musical, at the Hayes Theatre at the time. And Sophie Hyde, pardon the pun, the director, was good friends with the guy who was playing the titular Dr Jekyll. It just so happens that Emma Thompson wanted to go see live theatre on her night off and happened to come see our weird little independent show. So Sophie Hyde directed the show in addition to this movie. Yes.

Damn. I know. She's amazing. I deep dived into it. Two things. I know, so clever. Emma and her posse then stayed back for the better half of an hour to do nothing but rave about how much she enjoyed our show.

Really? It was one of the most extraordinary experiences in my life. Nothing brings a show together quite like having Nanning McPhee in the audience. Yeah. Also, pics or it didn't happen, so I've attached them below. Let's see. My suggestible is to meet Oscar-winning actor Dame Emma Thompson. Look at this.

So cute. Damn, that's cool. And then look at this. She's right in the middle. Oh, she is. And then, oh, see if I can go across there. Look. So cute.

She's so glowy, Emma Thompson. She's very glowy. She's wearing like a beautiful pink scarf. I love balls. She's just like looks so genuine and wonderful and I love her. And she's so great in that movie too. I recommended it to a friend and she raved about it as well. It's true.

I heard you guys raving about it. Yeah, it's just everything. I loved it. Everything about body joy and celebration and aging and sex and all the wonderful things. It's just so good. And then he says, P.S., I know this is the wrong podcast, but can I be the official I'm an actor who met Emma Thompson

during my debut show, Person on the Pod? Yes. And you certainly can. Thank you so much, Mitch. You are officially uncancelled. You are. I actually have the power to do that. I've never done it before.

Wowza. But I'm doing it for you. Well, there you go. You are king of the internet. So if. I actually have the power to do that. I've never done it before. Wowza. But I'm doing it for you. Well, there you go. You are king of the internet. So if anyone's going to do it, you are. Damn. Okay, that brings us to the end of our Christmassy episode. But it's not the end of the show, Claire,

because I have to say next week is the last show of the year. Yes, it is. The last show of the year. We're going to run through all the things that we love the most. That's right. And then Collings, as his customer, he's going to do a best of show. Maybe. Maybe.

We'll see. We'll see. Who knows? It's a busy time of year, Claire. It is a busy time of year. Maybe he's not. I don't know. Thank you so much, Collings, as always, for editing this week's episode.

Thank you to everyone who has listened to this show throughout the year and written in. We think you are amazing. Well, James doesn't, but I do. And we really, really value you. We could not do this job't But I do And we really really value We could not do this job Without you guys And we just feel so privileged

Every day to be able to do it We could do it But no one It wouldn't be for anything No correct And then we'd have to go And work in a bank Oh I don't want to work in a bank

All right Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night I'd probably I don't know Santa baby Dinner dinner Work in a bank

I'm off to I'd probably plan a really like Poor heist and I get caught straight away. Well, I'm off to Keith Channing Taito apparently. Good luck. Thanks. It's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats.

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