Suggestible - You Can't Handle The Tetris (with Nick Mason)

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. Hosted by James Clement @mrsundaymovies and Claire Tonti @clairetonti. Featuring Nick Mason @wikipediabrown.Find Claire Tonti's new music, merch, live show info and much more at https://www.clairetonti.com/This week’s Suggestibles:01:33 Labour by Paris Paloma14:13 The Tetris Movie23:04 Set Boundaries, Find Peace (with Nick Mason)Send your recommendations to [e-mail], we’d love to hear them.You can also follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook @suggestiblepod and join our ‘Planet Broadcasting Great Mates OFFICIAL’ Facebook Group. So many things. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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My name is Claire Tonti. James Clement needs her also. We are married. We recommend you things to watch, read, and listen to. And we tell you the truth. Do we? Do we really? Yeah.

We do. We tell you the truth. We tell it like it is, but you can't handle it you the truth. Do we? Do we really? Yeah. We do. We tell you the truth. We tell it like it is. But you can't handle it. The truth. What's happening? I don't understand. I was Jack Nicholson-ing it.

That's my vibe. I'm Jack. Everyone says, Claire, why are you so like Jack Nicholson? And I say because I watched a lot of him when growing up for some reason. I actually did. Why did I watch so much Jack Nicholson? Who knows? Because you look like Jack Nicholson. I'll take. Why did I watch so much Jack Nicholson? Who knows? Because you look like Jack Nicholson.

I'll take that as a compliment. Modern day Jack Nicholson. Jowly. Jowly. Jowly. Always at the beach. Yeah, he's always with sunglasses on with his mouth open and a weird smile.

You know who I do love that I also watched a lot of? Is it the beach or at the basketball? Helen Hunt. Loved her. What's she doing now? You're thinking of that one movie that they were in together. No, I'm thinking of that, but I watched a lot of her too. I watched her in Mad About You. Loved her. What's she doing now? You're thinking of that one movie that they were in together. No, I'm thinking of that, but I watched a lot of her too. I watched her in Mad About You.

Loved that. Very comedic. So fun. It was all right. All right, yeah. Well, you would say that, Jack Nicholson. Aren't they bringing it back? You're Jack Nicholson.

Aren't they bringing that back? All right, baby. Let's go on. Let's move it forward. I'm being Jack Nicholson. He would call you baby if we were here. He'd be like, come on, baby. I hate this.

I hate this Jack Nicholson. He would call you baby if we were here. He'd be like, come on, baby. I hate this. I hate this Jack Nicholson tangent that we're on. You just hate everything in general. I do. Do you have anything to recommend this week? I certainly do. I certainly do. I'm really excited about it. Do you want to go first? Yeah, okay. What is it? So, it's a song unsurprisingly. But it comes with a whole lot of context.

Okay, so. You didn't even attempt any kind of the Jack Nicholson-isms. No. You didn't do the voice. You didn't even arch an eyebrow. I can't do an accent. You know, I can't. I can't do an impersonation.

You, on the other hand, have been walking around doing your Trump impression, and now I know you really want to do it. Well, now that you've mentioned it, no, I can't do it now that you've said it. You were doing it. Excuse me. No, I can't do it. They're sending me to prison. I've lost it. He's not going to prison. He'll be fine. You were reading our daughter Excuse me. No, I can't do it. They're sending me to prison. I've lost it.

He's not going to prison. He'll be fine. You were reading our daughter's storybook last night in the voice of Trump. I heard you. I know because you were trying to make it more exciting for yourself. She was like, stop. Yeah. Stop doing that.

Yeah. And you were like, excuse me. Excuse me. I've lost it. Yeah. You were doing We're Going on a Bear Hunt read by Trump. We're going on a bear hunt. We're gonna catch a big one, folks.

It's not good. I was doing it better. It's not good. Also, I find it triggering. Oh, I'm sorry. I just find it so... Sorry, snowflake. Too real for you? I will own snowflake. I love being... Snowflakes are beautiful. They're all unique, precious, fleeting. I think that's the point of the

insult, isn't it? It's like, you think you're suspicious? I know, but that's the whole reason why it's so stupid and why people who call people snowflakes are dumb. Everything's stupid, Claire. Well, yeah, but also no, because, you know, they fail to see the beauty in everything, including snowflakes. So if you want to call me a snowflake,

by all means, go for it. They're beautiful, magical crystal things. I love them. Alright, what's your recommendation?ake, by all means, go for it. They're beautiful magical crystal things. I love them. All right. What's your recommendation? All right. So this is not very lovely. It's ferociously feminine rage.

Oh, no. And I love it. No, but it will link in with the Christmas present you gave me. You gave me a comic book on the mental load. I did. Which is very cool. Because I wanted to add to your mental load. Yeah, it's quite funny.

Yeah, it is very much reading it being like, yep, I understand that. However, I will say before I get into this song, because it's a song by Paris Paloma who is a 22-year-old singer-songwriter from the UK and she is wonderful. I love her sound and her songwriting. Before I get into it, what I will say is I think the balance in our house of mental load has shifted. I actually think you are doing the bulk of it now.

Is that because I'm amazing? No. It's just because the pendulum has swung at the moment because I just stopped doing it and started doing music stuff. Oh, my. So you're not even saying that, wow, James, you've always been a wonderful father. You are.

Have you always been a wonderful father? Have you always taken charge of the mental load? Hell no. However, over the last year or so, I've really noticed and I've really appreciated it because I'll tell you what people think the mental load is and then what it actually is. Because here we tell the truth. But they can handle this particular truth.

Actually, I actually don't know if everyone could handle it. So sometimes people say the mental load and they just think, oh, okay, so what I need to do is help my partner by asking them, what do you need help with? And you would think that would be a kind thing, but it's fucking bullshit. Oh, my God. Because it does not alleviate the mental load because all you're asking, you're turning your partner into a boss.

So the partner is the boss of the house, you're the employee, you kind of haphazardly go to them and like, what do you need? And then the boss has to think about it and go, well, what we need is like pasta for dinner and some meat. Can you get some apples? Oh, we also need to like get a birthday present for that party on the weekend. Oh, and we also need to book in their appointments. Can you do that? And that in itself is mental work. So when I reckon we had this chat, we had a big chat about it over the last couple of years. And we actually even did lists, didn't we? Do you remember that session where you were like, I don't have time to write a list of like the mental load.

I've got too much mental load. And I was like, well, this is indicative because exactly. But we did it and I wrote down everything I was doing. And I really think it changed a bit of what you saw as the mental load or what was happening in the house. Potentially. I don't even really remember it. But well, over time, exactly. But over time now what has happened is it's a boss-boss relationship.

We're both boss ladies. No, but so rather than coming to me and being like, what do we need to do next, you'll be like, so I've booked our son's school photographs and I've also got a present and I've replied to that parent about the particular birthday party. And I've booked in our son to this particular extracurricular thing, or I've thought about something he would like and I've sent it or, you know, so. I do this by neglecting our other child. No, you also do the same kind of thing for our daughter. And what has, what it has meant

is I no longer feel burdened to the point of rage, which is really, really awesome. And I just really want to point that out. And I know obviously people will be like, well, she's just heroing the man again for like doing a thing that women have been doing centuries. But I do think it's really worth pointing out that it's not usual. And I not usual and I don't take it for granted for a second and I think I'm awesome too. So I'm not – and women are awesome as well. I think it mostly came down to like that you got sick, you know. Yeah, I did. I got long COVID, hey, and I just couldn't do everything anymore.

That's so true. And so it kind of took me actually being physically incapable. Yeah, and you were told like you need to slow down. So I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, and why I met a profession who said you just can't keep like shouldering all of this. And so I have to remember that because sometimes now I get the guilt that I'm not doing enough but then I realize actually what we're doing

is just more equal because there's also something that happens which I don't think people always say is the mental load also comes with a boost of self-esteem and a little bit of smuggety smugness of like, and victimy a little. I will say that as well. Also it's bullshit and it's a huge thing that women have to grapple with, but there is an element too of, well, I do everything and aren't I amazing and everyone else is the worst. And sometimes you have to, you don't have any choice in the matter and it's exhausting, but then also there is a little bit of letting go of that control that is difficult. So I will say you can handle the truth because that sounds really harsh, but there is a bit of that, hey, where you do have to, as the partner who is ostensibly

doing the bulk of the mental load, you have to also be willing to let the other person kind of stuff up as well and not do it the way that you would want it done, but still have it done. It's like watching your kid put a bowl in the dishwasher and you're like, oh, it's not even good. I'm going to have to put it upside down. You didn't scrape anything out of it. Yeah.

You didn't scrape anything out of it. But what's interesting about that too is it's kind of like learnt helplessness or something. And it happens and they know statistically with newborns as well. No mother is born just innately knowing what to do with a newborn. They learn how to change nappies. They learn how to bath them. They learn how to feed them.

Weaponised incompetence, I believe. Yeah, this is exactly right. And so there's a piece in all of it where you do just have to let the partner that previously was not doing any of the mental load do it, miss appointments, forget things, which you yourself have done on the road to knowing how to be competent and all of these things. I may have never forgotten anything.

Anyway, that is all to say, back to Parasphaloma. So she's released a song very recently called Labour, which a friend of mine, Flick, sent to me and I just fell in love with it immediately. And so her songs channel the experience of womanhood. They speak into fury, grief, love, death, and power. They're mainly kind of poetry. They draw on mythical figures through art history and the romantics. It's kind of like dark folk pop, which obviously is sort of in my wheelhouse. Dark folk pop. Yeah, but this particular song is a masterpiece. One of the reasons it is is because it speaks into this exact thing,

the idea of that mental load, the labour, and particularly this is not sung by someone who has kids. It's more about someone being in a relationship where she's doing everything for their partner. And it's almost talking about a kind of coercive control relationship and the idea of what a man or that this particular toxic man in the relationship wants her to be, which is like there's a light in it, man in the relationship wants her to be, which is like there's a light in it, nymph and a servant kind of like wanting to be both sexy and, you know, this kind of like sexual being,

but also wanting them as a servant. And the idea that women sometimes do fall into that role of being, yeah, in servitude to men for history, right? Yeah. But also taking on so much of that like domestic labour that they didn't expect to be. And I think even though this song is sung by someone who's 22 and hasn't had kids yet, it very much speaks into a very familiar pattern for women where they fall in love with someone and they think they're going

to be their saviour, which is kind of another lyric in the song. And then what happens is they end up taking on all of the extra bullshit, domestic load, scrubbing dishes and like cleaning the house and doing all these additional chores. And so what they thought and what society sells them as this kind of ideal for them, They get chosen by someone. They get married. It's all going to be wonderful. And instead they ended up being just buried beneath all of the additional labour and workload that goes unseen and unpaid. And so it's just, it's so good.

I'll read you just a couple of the lyrics to kind of give you a sense of it. It's on Spotify. So you can. Spotify. It's really great. It's very intense. So you can. Spotify. It's really great. It's very intense. It's a lot of rage. And the video clip is also excellent.

It's really disturbing. She's kind of eating like something bloody. There's like blood kind of going over. She's like staring at her partner, obviously, who's across the room. And it's in this kind of medieval candlelit dining room. It's very disturbing, but I just love it. So these are some of the lyrics. Apologies from my tongue and never yours. Busy lapping from a flowing cup and stabbing me with

your fork. I know you're a smart man and weaponize the false incompetence and its dominance under a guise. This is really heartbreaking to me too. If we had a daughter, I'd watch and could not save her. The emotional torture from the head of your high table. She'd do what you taught her. She'd meet the same cruel fate. So now I've got to run so I can undo this mistake. At least I've got to try. The capillaries in my eyes are bursting. If I love died, would that be the worst thing?

For somebody I thought was my saviour, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour. Yeah, it's just like then the bridge is like all day, every day, therapist, mother, maid, nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant, just an appendage, live to attend him so that he never lifts a finger. 24-7 baby machine so he can live out his picket fence dreams. It's not an act of love if you make her, you make me do too much labour. My goodness. I know.

It's great though. This sounds like a shot at me personally and I am not having it. But it's not at all. No, Claire, I take that personally. This woman who doesn't know me is clearly out to get me. No, but that's I guess what I wanted to premise this with, that it's not at all. But I do think it's a very familiar story that we see in a lot of playing out in all kinds of different ways in relationships.

And it's also just a banger. Like it's a really catchy song. I know it sounds quite dark but it's also just really well produced and I really enjoyed it. So her name is Paris Paloma. She's got lots of other music as well but that's her latest single and, yeah, it's just like. You love it.

I love it. It's great. It's really great. And I think, yeah, she does like this kind of chorus towards the end where it's just like repeated chanting of that bridge. And it does start to feel like this chorus of women through history just kind of shouting that they've had enough of the burden, which I feel like is happening around me. We see it everywhere in Iran, the biggest women's-led revolution in history. You know, women just had a bloody gutful.

Yeah. Women have just had a bloody gutful. Yeah. And I really appreciate the fact that I'm married to someone who listens and understands that and is constantly saying things to me like, I've been reading this article about feminist theory, which you actually do. I just want to point out I've never said or thought anything and I resent the accusation. No, but I really appreciate it because you're constantly trying to understand more about all of it. And I really appreciate it because I think our relationship is better for it

and I'm certainly not full of rage like I used to be, which is great. Actually, that's not true. I am full of rage for womanhood as a collective. Yeah. And obviously what's happening to the planet and everything. So no, I am still full of rage but just personally. But you tolerate me slightly more. No, I tolerate you heaps. I put up with it. No, I love you. You're great but just personally. But you tolerate me slightly more. No, I tolerate you heaps.

I put up with it. No, I love you. You're great. Okay, that's it. Your turn. Ooh, Claire, are you familiar with Tetris? The most popular video game of all time? That's not how it goes.

That's not it either. It absolutely is it. Really? No, isn't it? Don't they have like, they have a bloop bit. It's blooping and then the blocks fall. Listen to this. Blooping.

That's blooping. Blue. Yeah, okay. Yours was probably closer, but that's more blooping. No, no. Not closer. The thing I said was right. Closer.

Yours was nothing and mine was correct, Claire. Oh, right. Geez. How's that for feminist theory? Anyway, Tetris. There's a new movie called Tetris. What about the falling blocks? Well, then when I first heard that, I went, oh, no.

Here comes another terrible adaptation of something that shouldn't be adapted. Like the time they adapted the board game Battleship into the movie Battleship. But that makes more sense. At least this is some kind of storyline. Do you think I'm joking about that Battleship thing, by the way? No, I certainly don't.

Liam Neeson is in it, Claire. Rihanna is in it, Claire. Was he stolen and did he have to kick down a door with a gun? Something like that. Taylor Kitsch is in it, Claire. I don't know who that is. Was his daughter stolen and did he have to kick down a door with a gun? Something like that. Taylor Kitsch is in as Claire. I don't know who that is. Don't worry about it. He was Gambit.

Anyway, there's a movie out. It's written by Noah Pink and it's directed by John S. Bard. And it doesn't actually tell, it's not an adaptation of the game Tetris, which is Falling Blocks. Here's the synopsis. Here he goes. Hank Rogers discovers Tetris, which is Falling Blocks. Here's the synopsis. Here he goes. Hank Rogers discovers Tetris in 1988 and then risks everything by travelling to the Soviet Union where he joins forces

with the inventor Alexei Pajitnov to bring the game to the masses. It stars Taron Egerton, as you might know, as the Rocket Man. You know him? Rocket Man. He was in the Rocket Man movie. He played Elton John. Yes, he's great. He was also in King's Man. Rocket Man. He was in the Rocket Man movie. He played Elton John. Yes, he's great. He was also in King's Man.

Rocket Man. Nikita Efremov. Ayane. Toby Jones, who you might know. He's like a guy. He's like, hello, I'm Toby Jones. Anyway, so here's the thing about Tetris, Claire. Yes.

It's the perfect game. When you look at it, you immediately understand it. It's just the perfect balance of like geometry and fun and like satisfaction when all the blocks disappear when you get the blocks and they come down or whatever. That's so true. And even me who doesn't like video games, I understand it. I've played a lot of it.

I enjoyed it. And that's the thing about Tetris. That's why it's so universally appealing. Like a game can sell well. Like an Elden Ring, for example, which I know is your favourite game. But not everybody can play Elden Ring, Claire. Not everybody is as good as Elden Ring as you are. But Tetris, you can literally hand it to anybody

and it's immediately, even like more so than like Mario, you know. Yeah. Immediately understand. It's like Wii bowling but better, some would even say. Correct. Anyway, so what's interesting about it was it was made by a single man in the Soviet Union, which, of course, was the pre-fall of the Berlin Wall under intense

communist scrutiny, Claire. Ooh, I see. Though really it wasn't really communism, was it, Claire, when you've still got a ruling class with the boot on the neck of its workers, Claire. Right. Which basically means, though, made under the Soviet Union means any profit from this game goes to the state.

So the guy who made the most popular game of all time. Makes no money. Doesn't really make any money from it. So what happens is a media billionaire from the UK, this is a true story, he bought the rights to Tetris to distribute it, sort of, right? And was doing so, selling off the rights to various companies. But also he didn't strictly buy the rights. Russia also didn't know what they had because they didn't have video games at this point.

So they didn't know they were selling like the biggest video game of all time. And they also didn't know that he was just selling the rights off to anybody, even things that he didn't, even the parts of it that he didn't own. Because when you distribute a video game, it goes to different platforms. For example, Tetris might go to a computer, Claire. It might go to a home console system. It will go to the arcade. And one of the big points of contention for this movie is that the handheld rights to Tetris,

as in the Game Boy. So this game was revealed before Nintendo released its Game Boy, right? And it was decided that Nintendo wanted to package Tetris with it because of this guy, Hank Rogers, who came across it. The American guy, I guess, is the protagonist, right? Because nobody knew Nintendo had made the Game Boy. So they're like, well, we don't need the handheld rights because there is no handheld gaming that's like this at this point. Because the Game Boy, even though it looks like absolute

shit, Claire, I know you've gone off in another world thinking about Elden Ring, but it was a revolutionary piece of technology. Packaging Tetris with it meant that anybody could play it. Everybody would want a Game Boy. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. You could give one to your grandma, for example, which I know you did. I did. So Hank Rogers becomes aware of this, purchases some of the rights from the guy who purchases the rights from Soviet Union, and he wants to put it on the Game Boy. But that means to do so, he has to actually go to the Soviet Union and like ink out another deal with a Soviet

Union government, which is in the process of falling apart. And all the higher up officials know that it's coming apart and they're just trying to get what's theirs. By that, I mean, just steal like as much money as they can before the whole government collapses and they then shift into democracy or alleged democracy. Because is Russia really a democracy, Claire? You tell me. i don't know no so it tells that story it's a fascinating tale it's like it's just it's like a dramatization of

how tetris came to from the rut from russia to the west and it's also at its best when it doesn't like embellish on the story like towards the end they sign the rights and the and like the ussr like you better get out of here because people are going to be coming after you and there's like a car chase to the airport and they just make it and whatever. None of that shit happens and I think it was completely unnecessary. So the stuff where they just talk about like the specifics of it and the contract law behind it and who was trying to screw who

and the money involved and the original creator and all of that, that's the interesting stuff. So this is on Apple Plus if you do want to check it out. I think you might even like it, Claire. Maybe. I think you would, Claire, but the thing is the gaming historian who I've talked about before has a great YouTube channel where he's got like an hour-long documentary if you want more

of like a less like dramatic. It is a very like dramatic story considering that it's Tetris, but if you watch the movie and you're looking for something like what's true and what's not about this, No Car Chase, for example, you might want to check out that video. But, yeah, Tetris. It was pretty good. It's a movie about Tetris.

Sounds like it's actually really good. So it's more like a documentary. No, it's a dramatisation. Yeah, but it's a dramatisation of the real story. You know like the Facebook movie? Yes. It's like that. Yes, yes.

But it's Tetris. Yes. And there's a car chase in it for no reason. Well, there you go. I actually don the Facebook movie? Yes. It's like that. Yes. But it's Tetris. Yes. And there's a car chase in it for no reason. Yes. Well, there you go. I actually don't mind a car chase. There's a moment where they, I've talked about this in the Weekly Planet, where they reveal the Game Boy because there's a secret bit of tech and they're like, you can't tell anybody about this. And they take the cover

off and it's a Game Boy and it's like, oh my god, it's a Game Boy. Where you look at it now and you're like. I loved a bloody Game Boy. They were bloody great. But it's revealed. Weren't they? Even the feel of them, so good. Well, the Game Boy was amazing and they managed to sell it for $89. Yeah, it had like a real heft to it. And by stripping the colour out of it,

it means it only ran on four batteries and could last for like 20 hours. Yeah. Whereas like I had an Atari Lynx, which I got much later when they were like very much on the way out. Heavier, bigger, took eight batteries. So the Nintendo have been always really good at using old technology to package it in a new way. Like even the Switch, right, that's old technology.

That's like previous generations video game technology, which becomes cheaper, but they package it in a way where it's just more accessible. Like the Switch means you take the controllers off and then you can suddenly play two players. It's genuinely more accessible. Like the Switch means, you know, you take the controllers off and then you can suddenly play two players. It's genuinely a brilliant idea. Yeah. And they've always, not always, but they've mostly been good at that.

There's been a few stumbling blocks. The Nintendo Virtual Boy I know you're familiar with. The Wii U. What were they thinking, Claire? Oh, who knows? The GameCube. Let us not descend into more discussion of video games, please, A great console.

It's a great console but they made some bad choices along the way. Can I talk about my second one now? Yeah, sure. All right. Did you watch the Tetris movie too? No, I did not. You should watch it. Should I?

Would I like it? You won't watch it. I won't watch it. No, I actually will. I think it sounds really interesting. I love an origin story like that, particularly of something that is sort of so part of the culture that you don't know anything about. Like you just assume it just arrived.

Yeah. You know, you don't really understand why it was there or what the significance of it was. And some rich people get their comeuppance. That is really satisfying. Boy, is it. Boy, is it so satisfying. All right. What do you got?

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So I have a book. My beautiful friend, Flick, who I mentioned already. She's been on your podcast. She sent me that song, and now she's also given me a book, my beautiful friend Flick, who I mentioned already. She's been on your podcast. She sent me that song and now she's also given me a book, which I really appreciate. She did go on Tons and I'm currently working on the new season of Tons actually. Oh, my God. Am I in it?

Little things to come for that. Am I in that season? No. Why not? You could be. You've already done episodes. I bet I could. We don't want to do a whole other episode on Tetris and video game lore.

This book is called Set Boundaries. You can have me on and I could talk about how much of a good husband I am. Oh, God. Far out. All right. Can I go now? Oh, please. You're welcome to leave at any point.

Great. Excellent. You can take 100% of the mental load then. Hells yeah. I'll go live on an island. Set Boundaries and Find Peace is a guide to reclaiming yourself and it's by Nedra Glover-Tawab. Now, I'll read a little bit about it. It says, end the struggle, speak up for what you need and experience the freedom of being

truly yourself and setting healthy boundaries. So she's a licensed counselor, sought after relationship expert and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram, Nedra Glover demystifies this complex topic for today's world. So look, I think it's a great one that you can dip in and out of. It particularly talks about things like being a people pleaser and what that means. I know that boundaries is something that, you know, people have been talking about for a while now. It's sort of like this buzzword that everyone hears, I just need more boundaries.

And sometimes because of that, it can start to sound a bit naff and eye-rolly, but actually it really is a game changer. And it's interesting to me because you're someone who's always had really firm boundaries, I think, as the way that you walk around the world. You just kind of know what you will do and won't do. And it doesn't mean that you're not kind to people and you don't go out of your way when you can for people, but you also just say, no, I know that I need a lot of time by myself. I like to be home a lot. I like to do the things that I enjoy. And I don't like you and I won't do it. No, but you know, you're not a people pleaser is what I would say. And I have been in the past quite a people pleaser and I'm learning or to unlearn all of that behavior really. I think partly because I found been in the past quite a people pleaser and I'm learning to unlearn all of that behaviour really.

I think partly because I found like over the last year this music thing and I just I have so little time to do it other than, you know, around parenting and work commitments that I really just have had to be selfish. Yeah. And I've read that a lot about artists and particularly men. They seem to, through history, be able to just be incredibly selfish and make what they want to make and carve out that time for themselves and they don't feel guilty about it.

They just go, I'm an artist and I'm doing it. And so then women around them historically have had, or their families, but mostly women, let's be real, have had to pick up the slack of everything that happens around their career as an artist or as a, you know, working career man or whatever. And it's happened because someone else will do it all for them. And so for me this year, setting boundaries and saying to people,

I can't do that because I need to go to bed early, because vocally I need to be well. Yep. Because of also my health, I just haven't been able to work and be a friend in the same kind of level that I used to be. Yeah. And for some friends that's been fine and for other friends I think that's been difficult and I'm still trying to work through how to be still present and available for people and still, you know,

I love those friends but I also know that my time is finite and I also need time to rest. Absolutely. Just because you've got downtime doesn't mean you should take every second of it and then, you know, apply it to someone. Yeah, exactly. And so this book's been really helpful for that in terms of teaching you what a good healthy boundary is and what to say to people to be able

to carve out that time for yourself and then understanding that being with people pleaser isn't actually helping anyone. Oh, my God, Nick. What's happened? Is this a dumb ass party? Oh, no. I was talking about healthy boundaries and Maceo's come in and ruined it. This is a regular party, not a dumb ass party.

No. I'll set up a mic. All right. We're almost at the end of the show, Maceo. party. No. I'll set up a mic. All right. We're almost at the end of the show, Maceo. Oh, good. You've cracked it. You've come on in. You've ruined my – I'm reading this book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace.

Wow. Would that be good for you? No, because I'd have to think about my life. I don't want to be doing that. No, thank you. I was saying to James that you and him both have very firm boundaries in that you don't really do anything you don't want to do. Oh, yeah, that's actually a good point.

Yeah, which, you know, I respect. I'm getting better at that. If one of us is like, hey, come and do a podcast, the other one might be like, no, I will not. I won't. I won't. But only because you want it to happen. And I say no.

No. How are you, Mason? I'm doing all right. Thank you. I'm good. No. How are you, Mason? I'm doing all right. Thank you. I'm good. That is good. Anything happening today? Well, I'm on holiday, which is nice.

On a holiday? Yeah. A holiday with dogs and kids. I'm on holiday, so very little, but the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is on, so I'm going to see some comedy shows tonight. Ooh, fun. Yeah, that should be good. Yeah, cool.

Yeah. I haven't gone. I usually love going. I really need to get out there. I was looking at some stuff to go and see. What are you seeing tonight? Any recommendations? I don't know yet.

I'm just going to get out there and see what's good. I want to go see Laura Davis again. I bloody loved her show. Laura Davis' show was great. Yeah. Who did I see last night? I saw Jordan Barr. She was very funny.

Cool. Other things. Deanne Smith was very funny. Oh, cool. From Canada. You saw Rodney Rood. You saw Rodney Rood. Saw Rodney Rood. Carl Barron.

Who's the other guy that's like Rodney Rood? Yeah. Chris Franklin. Maybe not him. Something like that, yes. Someone who I don't know. Yeah. Excellent.

Big Kev? No. No. He's dead. Kevin Bloody Wilson. That's him, yes. There you go. He nailed it.

Definitely alive. I'm definitely going to Jess Perkins' show too. I'm excited. I haven't seen her. Well, get in quick because tickets are selling. I've already bought my ticks. Got my little tickies already. I actually bought you a ticket, so just letting you know.

Well, I don't want to go. I'm setting a healthy boundary. Nice. I don't want to be seeing Jess Perkins. You've learned from this stupid book it's saying. Hey, guys, don't speak about Nedra like that. She's wonderful. She's very helpful.

No, he said the book is stupid. He didn't say she's stupid. And that's based on my healthy fear of books. Right, okay. But it's a good book, would you say? I would say it is a really good book. I'll give you some recommendations for doing a little boundary thing. Okay.

So setting some time for yourself every day. Mayso, this is what you should do. Do a wake-up stretch for two minutes. Is that a boundary thing? Yeah, yeah. It's like boundaries is also setting yourself things that are just for your own self-care, not like taking on other people's stuff straight away, just setting some time aside for you.

Do a stretch in the sun. So meditate or sit quietly for two minutes. So don't do a stretch for anyone else. Only do a stretch for yourself. Do a poop in a litter box. Okay, this is another thing you should do. Read something inspirational for two minutes. Oh.

I know. Write down thoughts and one thing you're grateful for. Then recite a positive affirmation or intention for the day. Can't I just go on my phone, Claire? God. Is there one that says go on my phone? See, what's happened here is the energy has changed, Claire, and you've realised midway through this list of things

that out of context they're quite silly. They're probably good. They're probably good. Yeah, but we're going to make fun of them. They're so silly. So there's one that's like, I can't even. People pleasing. Erica had a lot of people to please.

Sure. Sure. Yeah. So in trying to please everyone, however, she was left with little energy to care for herself. So what she needs to do is learn how to care for herself by all of those things, reciting positive affirmations apparently will really help.

And the other thing that Erica has come down with is a superhero syndrome. What does that mean? But that's relevant to us, I think. Yeah, well, it's our world. It's important. It's in brackets, I can do it all syndrome. Parents were murdered. But Erica can't.

No one can do it all. And it says believing we can leads to burnout. Poor Erica. She's so burnt out. I hope she's all right. Yeah, I don't think she is. I don't think she's set enough boundaries for herself. Well, that's her problem.

And she's just really struck down with superhero syndrome. I've heard it's really difficult. She's like wearing little capes everywhere. She's always fighting a giant robot downtown. She is. It's really hard. She considered just building a suit out of nanotechnology that does everything for her.

Yeah. Because then she'd have plenty of time. And she could even send the suit off to do the work while she did some cat stretches or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's funny. I'm trying to read these out. Are there two?

Is this random? Are you just opening random pages? This is like what happens like out of context when we try to explain our podcast to any kind of real person where we're like, yeah, or we try to explain a superhero universe or something like that out of context, people are like, hmm. What? What? And adults do this. Well of context, people are like, hmm. What? What?

And adults do this. Well, they're not supposed to, but. Okay, give us one more. No, I can't. I can't. No, this is genuinely like a good idea. We're going to be serious. For serious.

Let's be real. I can be serious, Claire. I'm putting on my serious face. This just seems really obvious to me now. So boundaries to consider. I say no to things I don't like. Yeah. Which is like everything you guys do all the time.

We basically say no to everything. I don't like anything. Yeah, and it's true. I say no to things that rob me of valuable time. Yep. That's everything you do already. So why am I bringing this book to you guys? Stop for us.

There's other people listening to this probably. Oh, you don't do this though. I spend time around healthy people. No, we don't do that. So why am I bringing this book to you guys? You don't need it. It's not for us. There's other people listening to this probably. Oh, you don't do this though. I spend time around healthy people. Nah, we don't do that. Just all broken freaks. Yeah. You do also do this, I would say. I reduce my interactions with people who drain my energy. And by people,

I think that means everyone you know. Almost anyone, yeah. Yeah, that's true, yeah. So that's good. What are other things? I protect my energy against people who threaten my sanity. Well, you live with me and two tiny children, so you don't do that. But I do have that defense, so, you know. That is true, exactly. Well, some of these are very sincere and I don't want to read them

in front of Mason. Because he doesn't have a sincere bone in his body. Okay, this is a- Read the advice, Claire. I dare you. You have the guts. How many are there? There's a few.

Okay. How about there's eight more. Okay. I don't have to read them all though. No, let's read them all. I mean, if you read them all, then nobody's going to buy the book, are they? Are they long? No, they're not long enough.

Great. Okay, here's a couple. I turn off my phone when appropriate. Oh, that's actually good advice. That's really good advice. One thing that I do that ruins my life is I leave my phone like on my bedside table. Yeah, absolutely.

And in the morning before my brain has started working properly, I go, I'll just check Twitter and then my brain's ruined for the rest of the day. And because all this stuff has happened over the years while we're asleep. We're like, what? So it's already like nine memes deep and then you've got to work backwards. Well, that and also it's always like Tennessee's made it illegal to be a woman

or whatever and you're like, oh, can people take a day off from this for once? And then you have a bad mindset for the rest of the day. So now I put my phone in the lounge room. Yep. Oh, that's really good. And it's the lounge room's problem. Okay, this I think might be the best advice I've ever heard. Okay.

Are you ready for it? I sleep when I'm tired. I feel like that's great advice. I never do that. I sneak in a nap. Yeah, you do. People make fun of me. They're like, look at this guy napping.

I'm like, enjoy sitting in your office, you fucking idiot, while I'm asleep. That's so mean. Also, you have the advantage if you have a couch here if you wanted to sleep, or a bed even, a human bed. And you're alone because you set boundaries and don't interact with anyone that drains your sanity slash energy. When I was a teacher, I used to sleep. Lunchtime would sometimes sit and I'd be like, well, I'm just going to have a nap. And I'd just crawl under my desk and have a nap. Okay, but think of those people who are not working from home. They work an office job.

What are they just going down to the lobby and just laying out? That's what I'm telling. That's what I used to do as a teacher. I'd just crawl under my desk. But you also don't know if there was like a big meeting in your future. Like you would have quit before they were like, James, can we see you in the office for a minute? I was.

No, not to sleep. No, get off my couch. No. Well, I was technically leadership by the time I didn't end up schooling somehow. Oh, la-di-da. Sometimes people would come to me and go like, what do you think of this? And I'm like, oh, shit. Well, you know, there's a lot of different pedagogies.

That's what I would say basically. That's true. That's something you could use every day. All right, I'll just do one more. Okay. This one, this is just so silly to me. The unassailable one that we cannot criticize or make fun of. Let's go.

No, no, this one I think, this one is just I mind my business. Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, mind your business. Mind your business. Yeah, mind your business. Don't be looking at other people's business. That's not your business. It is annoying when you're doing something.

Agreed. There's that element of it. But you know when someone like sticks their fucking head in and it's like, hey, man, this has nothing to do with you and get the fuck out of here. I mean you would get that at work, I'd imagine. People come and complain to you occasionally about shit, don't they? Yeah, for sure.

They're like, well, what's going on? I'll take it isn't working. I don't know, man. I wish I could help. I don't know, man. I wish I could help. I don't know whether you want to tell this story. You can probably tell. Tell God. I don't have any control over any of that.

I'm not going to fine you. I don't care. The guy who started grumbling about the guy's feet on the seat. Oh, yeah. You didn't have to tell that story. Oh, no, I just had a guy on the tram the other day, like an old man, and he was – He was grousing and grumbling. He was grousing about everything.

The windows weren't open or closed to his satisfaction or what have you. He complained to you, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he sat down and then clearly somebody drew his ire and he was like, you should get your feet off the seat. And then the guy opposite him just exploded and it ended up with this other guy going, shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you.

So mind your business. It's fine. Everything's fine. Just mind your business. That's just a guy who's like everybody has got to listen to and then reached a certain age where people are just like, no, you know. Maybe he was in charge of somebody at a small business for a period of time.

Yeah. Those guys hate me. They do hate me. Like actively hate me. And they always say things to me. Real rude. Real mean. That guy once punched me in the leg because I didn't get out of his way while he was running

along the path. When you were eight months pregnant. I was pregnant too. But I mean, to be fair, I was taking up a lot of space. But because I'm entitled to. That's an insane thing. And he could have just like run on the grass. But he didn't want to do that.

Yeah. So he punched my leg and was like, move. Mind your business. And I, real quick thinking as I am, just called after him. That wasn't very polite. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't very polite. I think he's going to take that with him to his grave.

He probably will. Or has. Or has. Yeah, hopefully. Let's go for that. One more recommender. I might save this for next week actually because I've. Or has, yeah, hopefully. Let's go for that. I might save this for next week actually because I've got a list, Claire, and you'll appreciate this, Mason.

I love a list. You know, I've never eaten real food or I've stopped eating real food in my life. Yes, that's been a many-a-year thing that you've been doing. Of the most delicious not real foods that I've – Okay. Because, you know, I'm always trying new things. Are these fake foods? Is this a list of comedy fake foods? No, no, these are real foods that I've, because, you know, I'm always trying new things. Are these fake foods? Is this a list of comedy fake foods? No, no, these are real foods, like, you know, just like low-calorie snacks

you might enjoy but with some, you know, nutritious value, not just like. Claire, I think all these taste buds are dead, quite frankly. They definitely are. He doesn't understand food anymore. What about those kind of protein bars that I've got that you're loving, that are saving your life literally every day? Yeah, I do really like these. I'll talk about that next week.

They're great. But in the meantime, why don't people review the show enough? Do you ever worry about that, Mason? No. No? Claire, what about you? Do you worry about it? About what?

People not reviewing the show? Always. Okay, good. I'm constantly worried about it. But I'm trying to mind my business. I bet there's something in there that says don't even worry about it. Correct, exactly. Surely at this point in history there'll be like a line that's just like,

don't worry if people don't review your podcast. No, I don't. I think you should worry. You can actually do it in an app just like Superman Lives has done. Just five stars, just an app who says, Claire Tonti and her husband Nick Clements talk about content. That's very relevant. That is very true.

That is very relevant. Yeah. And have you got an email for this week, Claire? I certainly do. I have a great one. So this is from Anna V. Suggest a pod, a recipe for a perfect vacation. A recipe for a vacation?

Oh, God. Just let me get through the email. Just let me read it. For the love of God. I'm setting better boundaries. We'll just bring my oven on the plane. How can I get out of this situation and stop hanging around people that drain my sanity? I need to set better boundaries. We'll just bring my oven on the plane. How can I get out of this situation and stop hanging around people that drain my sanity?

I need to set better boundaries. Dear Claire and James, after my husband Luke tricked me into becoming a Wheatley Planet listener, I've now tricked him back and turned him into a suggestible listener. We are currently on our honeymoon in New Zealand, driving around a two-big camper van and listening to old Best Of episodes. Nice. Luke also made a special playlist for the trip

and Claire's song Free popped onto it the other day. It made me so happy on a bright day driving. Because I'm free. Do what I want. That's not my song. We'll do a different Free song. Yeah, you can go on. The worst.

Can I finish my email? I would love that actually. Man. It made me so happy on a bright day driving through endless fields of sheep. Yeah. That's all the barring that was happening in my songs. Next up is Melbourne. Do you sell your record anywhere in stores there?

That would be the ideal souvenir from this trip. Two Canadians who love you two and your pods. Whoa. Pretty nice. Well, actually, I do sell it in a shop called Run to the River. So you can buy it from there or from my website, Selma Record. My vinyl's there. Yeah.

And pretty soon I'm going to be selling them from a little country town called Bendigo. Bendigo. They reached out to me. I'm sending them to Bendigo Vinyl. The mayor of Bendigo. Bendigo Vinyl, the lovely guys that run that store. Lynette Bendigo.

They could have a couple to sell in stock. So I'm going to be sending them there and probably other places. I just had forgotten that I could actually sell them in actual shops. Yeah. So I've just been selling them on my website, which actually, if you would like to buy a said vinyl, you absolutely can, from my website, Claire20.com. And you can also buy T-shirts there as well, lyrics, booklets,

and you can download the album as well. It's all there if you would like to support said person making music. Or if you're a bad person, you can listen on Spotify. That's true. That's free. Yes. Oh, and just before we go, I also have to plug my live shows. Oh, here we go.

I've got to do it. Here we go. So I'm doing a show at the Wesleyan in Northgate on the 7th of May, 3 o'clock Sunday afternoon. You get a free lyrics booklet with your ticket with some additional goodies. Women in my life now, which is so lovely, are bringing their mother's groups and friends and things. So if you're a mum or a parent out there and wanting to connect

with other parents. Is it a kids thing as well? Can you bring kids? You can bring your kids. It's not a kids show though. Yeah. And I think people have said it's actually quite lovely to be able to bring your partner to and kind of sit and chill out.

However, if you need to bring your kids, you absolutely can bring them. If they're old enough to have a seat, then they'll need to have a ticket. Basically that's how it works. And there's also a buffet breakfast, which is really good. No, it's a three o'clock in the afternoon. It's an all-day breakfast, Claire. I don't know about that, but the Wesleyan does do lots of lovely food. So if you wanted to have lunch before or dinner after the show.

Or during. Or during. You can have food during it as well. You absolutely can. Hannah Ackfield is playing support and she's a really amazing vocalist. Zeke is going to be playing with me. It's going to be really fun. And so I'm doing two other shows, one on the 29th of April.

That's a Saturday afternoon in Yucca and Danda. And then on the Sunday, April 30th in Malwela. Wow. And then on the afternoon at the Civic Centre at 2 o'clock, both of those shows are. Fantastic. So that'll be really fun. Yeah, that's it. Come along.

Come along. All right, we'll see you next week. Got any suggestibles? Suggestible at suggestible.com. Come, suggestible at gmail.com. I'll do that next week, Mason. Oh, that's a teaser for next week. Okay, right.

Because you came in and then you brought so much content. It's true. It's over 40 minutes and I refuse to do any more than that. Yeah, correct. Exactly. I have to go reassess my boundaries book. It's all a little too obvious. Yeah.

Do you ever just like finish like talking about a thing and then you immediately put it down? Because now that you've used that content, you're on to the next content. I guess so, yeah. It must be the thing. It must be the thing that happens. Anyway, I'm going to work on better boundaries and not spending time with people that drain my sanity. And Elden Ring. And she's loving Elden Ring, actually. I don't think that's true.

Tell him that you are. No, I'm not saying anything. I'm protecting my boundaries. Okay. Bye, everyone. Bye. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. Bye everyone. Bye.