Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 257 3/22/25

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

Meghan Markle is in trouble, a man smuggles a turtle in his pants and a dude steals Dorothy’s ruby red slippers. Also, Mike is about to lose a lot of money on some bets.Watch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Hey now, welcome to the Greg Fitzsimmons show, also known as FitzDog, right? You know the show actually used to be called the Greg Fitzsimmons Experience and I thought it was too wordy so I chopped it down and I also realized that Joe had kind of kind of simultaneously come up with the same name for his show and Jimi Hendrix had come up with it 40 years earlier. Anyway, welcome to the FitzDog radio show. It is a breezy cool St. Patrick's Day here in Los Angeles. Why am I sober? Because I quit drinking 35 years ago. But let me tell you something,

St. Patrick's Day before that was a very, very big day in my existence. It started out, I guess when I was a kid, we would go to the St. Patrick's Day parade. Every year, my grandfather would march with the ancient order of Hibernians from the Bronx, and people were throwing up and pissing and fighting in the streets.

It was crazy. And my parents would bring me down. And then when I got older, I started going down to the parade myself with my buddies when we were teenagers. And I honestly think that was the first time I did standup comedy was when I would take the train. The train from the city to my house was about 20 minutes.

And I remember getting on the train like two years in a row, and obnoxiously drunk. And we're getting on the train at like 6.30 at night, so it's all these commuters from Wall Street are going back to the suburbs. They got their suits and ties and they got their New York Times opened up. And then about a dozen of us get on.

And we're, you know, all my friends were, you know, Killarine and McGovern and Bucci and all these mix and I used to walk up and down the aisles and I would roast the people on the train and my friends would be sitting there howling and I just pictured today, if I saw a 14 year old or a 15 year old that drunk drunk I would smack the shit out of this kid I was the kid you wanted to smack the shit out of but I was killing

I would destroy and and then we'd roll off the train at Tarrytown and and walk home and you know chew a bunch of bubble yum and put Visine in our eyes and pretend we weren't shit-faced luckily Luckily, our parents were also shit-faced, so nobody knew the difference. And then my father, every year on St. Patrick's Day, it would start off with a party he would have at the Friars Club, where he was a member. It was all Jewish members,

and then my father was the token Irishman. Did I say, I said Jewish, right? Yeah, they're all Jewish. My dad's a token Irish guy. And he would have a St. Patrick's Day show and it was a party and there was step dancers and fives and bagpipes and singers and people would get up and tell Irish jokes and everybody wore green and there was an open bar and all the Jews from the club would come down and they would hang out and they loved it. They'd never seen anything like this before and it and all the Jews from the club would come down and they would hang out and they loved it they'd never seen anything like this before and it was all

my dad's Irish friends and Don Buchwald was there every year and Maureen Langen and all the great New Yorkers and me and my mom would sing this old Clancy Brothers song called Four Green Fields and it's an old Irish fighting song about the four green fields with the four counties in Ireland and trying to reunite them after the English tore us apart and and we were I'm telling you there is not two worst singing voices in the history of the Americas as Pat Fitzsimmons and Greg Fitzsimmons.

We were awful. But we would do it a cappella, no music. We would stand there in front of 150 people and people would die laughing. And we played it perfectly straight. Like tears in our eyes, emotional. And people thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I started doing it when I was probably like nine years old

and I did it until my dad died. So I was probably fucking 23 when I sang it the last time with my mom. Anyway, so I say that only to say that the tradition continues and as you mostly all know I throw a St. Patrick's Day party at the Improv for like the last 15 years. I do it every year. It's not I was on St. Patrick's Day we did it on March 15th two days early this year because it was a Saturday night felt like a more fun night for people and we had a crazy good lineup the improv took such good care of us me

and my friend Laureen have a contest who makes the best Irish soda bread which sounds like an oxymoron best Irish soda bread but we both have a recipe that's gone down through the through the ages and we bring in loaves and loaves of bread and the the cooks at the Improv are nice enough to slice it up and they butter it and they toast it and they serve it to the entire crowd 200 people all get Irish soda bread and then we bring a few people on stage and they're the judges and they have a contest and My Bread won two out of three years now and so it's very proud more proud though that the mute we had live music for the first

time this year and it was my daughter Jojo and my buddy Mikey Fitzgibbon and me I was really mostly them I played a little bit of harmonica but she would they were both on guitar and they play started out with you to Sunday Bloody Sunday whole crowd was pumping their fists and singing along and then we segued into the Pogues there's a Pogues song called Dirty Old Town and my daughter sang it like a fucking angel it's the most heartbreaking sad working-class song and she sang it and Mikey played and then we brought it home with a little shout out to the Californians in the crowd they sang California dreaming the place was singing along they were clapping their hands, and then the flute solo comes

and my daughter whips out the flute and fucking nails the solo. The place went berserk, screaming, it was crazy. And she was so self-composed and confident and I'm telling you, she's got like perfect pitch. Nobody in our family knew she could sing and she's got like perfect pitch or I nobody in our family knew she could sing and she's only been taking guitar lessons for like six months playing perfect strong chords so it was anyway I could not you know you think you're proud of your kids but there's no times when you're more proud of them she was so nervous for the last week and yet she fucking did it. That's when

you're proud of your kids is when they they are thinking about quitting they want to quit and she showed up and she was brave and she was nervous throughout the whole performance did not miss a single beat nailed it and she was so happy with herself and and then Annie Letterman who was supposed to go to Alaska went to Alaska on Friday morning Did a show and then wanted to be on on my show so much That she then got on a red eye the same night back to LA for this Saturday night show and she was a doll She got there early hung out with my family,

went to the after party, like schmoozed everybody from the crowd, all my friends. Tim Dillon stopped in, closed it out, destroyed, had a great hang backstage with him and Annie and Saul Trujillo, who's a great new comic that you should know about and check out he destroyed Eric Griffin was great Dennis Govins did a nice job and the whole night was a blast so much fun so thanks if you guys came out if you didn't definitely come out next year and Bobby Lee unfortunately did not perform. He showed up. He was supposed to be the headliner and he saw a singing and He walked out. He said I don't want to go on this show So I don't know what that is, but that's what happened if you were disappointed. He wasn't there

Take it up with him not me But luckily Tim Dillon was on a plane heading to Columbus, Ohio, which was turned back to LAX when some lunatic lost his shit on the flight. So if it wasn't for that, Tim would not have been at my show. He just came down to hang out and then he was nice enough to close it out. So that was very cool. And he's Irish, not Korean. So that was good. What else? else oh yeah big shout out for my friend big J Hollingsworth big Irish J he has got a new album out called green monster that John Tobin our buddy produced out of Boston I think they recorded at Laugh

Boston it's on iTunes. It premieres today. Very funny dude. Great guy. Such such a great sense of humor. So check that out. And and I got some dates coming up. I'll be in Hamilton, Ontario at Levity on March 26th. Toronto at the Comedy Bar March 27th. Pittsburgh at the Improv March 28th to the 30th then I will be in Boston on April 4th and 5th Torrance Huntington Escondido Dayton Dayton that's a new date Tampa Florida Austin La Jolla all tickets at fits dog calm come out check out the new hour it It's great new material. Speaking of great material, my guest today is a fantastic comedian who's from the South originally. What is

he from? He's from Tennessee, I believe. He's got that thick, syrupy southern accent. Makes you think he's like a Republican, but in fact he's a bleeding-heart liberal. He's the author of the liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie Out of the Dark. He wrote a bunch of stuff, he's done a ton of specials, he there's a piece out in the LA Times today as a matter of fact a profile on him which is very flattering and very nice. He produced this documentary called Inherent Good about Andrew Yang and and he's just a pleasure. He's been on Real Time with Bill Maher. I know you're gonna love him. I certainly did and here he is

Trey Crowder. Trey Crowder. Welcome, Trey Crowder, my guest, who's, you know, listen, he's a guy who's out there, you're banging it out on the road like me, we're working a lot of the same places, you're at the Den Theater in Chicago, and your social media presence is blowing up. Yeah yeah you know it's going okay I mean yeah I've been just really road-dogging it for a while now yeah you know so it's like a

20 side I started doing stand-up in 2010 in Knoxville Tennessee you know it was going okay for living in Knoxville and also fucking around and having kids in my mid-20s. So considering all that, I was pretty happy with how it was going. And then I went. Wait, so you were, sorry, you were, you've been married 15 years, and you've been doing stand-up 15 years,

so you basically started both at the same time? Well, me and her, I've never done stand-up without a girlfriend, and it's the same woman. We got, she was my girlfriend for like a year and a half before I got married. Yeah. So we've been married for, so my son will turn 14 this year, which means we have been married for 14 years because it was that type of situation. Sure, you're from the south. That's what you do. Well that's the other thing, I'm from a very small town in the South, and so like I was 25 at the time and like all my buddies from my hometown, you know, were like,

Oh, what took you so long? What have you been waiting on? Yeah, but also was doing stand-up and all my comic friends were like, well, that's it for you. Yeah, it's hard. We'll see you later. It's hard to be a struggling comic who's married with kids. I mean, that's a lot of distraction because everybody else is staying out

till four in the morning in a diner and drinking and obsessing during the day. And I think in a way it's good because you gotta be a businessman right out of the gate. You know, you have to learn how to handle your shit, stay on top of it. Right, yeah, I mean some guys would say to me or whatever like back in that time after a show they'd be like, you know, I think like if you didn't have like a wife and kids you might have like a shot at really doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My position on that was

always like, well that's, you know, I mean that's motivation to figure it yeah. Whatever. And my position on that was always like, well, that's, you know, I mean, that's motivation to figure it out. Yeah. Right. It's all the more reason to make it work. But then what happened is in 2016, I like went viral on the internet. It was Facebook at the time. And that got me an internet presence, which allowed me to start touring and quit the day

job and move to LA and have failed sitcoms and all that fun stuff. Hey man, failed sitcoms have a nice little check behind them though. Indeed they do, yeah. You can get in the guild and all that good stuff. Get some insurance, get a down payment on a house. Did you buy a house? Yeah, just like this past year, one of the worst times to have done so. I just couldn't get over,

cause like I said, I'm from a really small town in the South and like, I just could not get over the sticker shock of it all when we moved here, which we went to in like 2017 and it's like, I could have done it and if I had done it then, it would have been infinitely better. But then, but finally it was just like, well, you know, we got to her, we just never will.

So this past year we bought a house in Burbank. And I've been like touring like every single weekend since then. Dude, I bought a house 25 years ago in Venice Beach and at the time everybody was like, you're crazy, this market is out of control, it's so high, it always goes up. And the thing is you're going to be living there. So all that matters is what's your nut every month, can you pay that, then it doesn't matter if your prices are going up or down. Your nut stays the same. Well I was asking like fancy people when I moved out here, like the president of Warner Brothers TV

at the time and people like that, about like buying a house or whatever versus renting and even people like with a lot of people at the time said versions what you just said where it was like they're like oh this is this whole this is some kind of bubble this will have to pop soon yeah it can't go on like this forever and then it just you know I know I know people that have been priced out of the market because they've been sitting on the sidelines for ten years right thinking it's gonna dip and it just kept going right you know at the end of the day, there's nothing you can spend money on

that's any better than a house. To know you own the place, you can put a shelf up, you can knock a wall down, whatever you wanna do, it's your house. Yeah, now it is like, it's one of those like classic American, Americana type things, you know what I mean? Did you really put an above ground pool behind your house? Yeah, how did you know that? I saw, I

watched your, you know, I watched your special, I watched your clips, really enjoyed it, spent a nice afternoon. Oh. Going deep on you. I appreciate that. So you really did put an above-ground pool in? Yeah, that was at, that, the above-ground pool was at the house that we rented that we moved from to this one. Okay. So the house I bought I did not do that we put it in my landlord's yard or whatever you know we broke it down before we left but yeah we put an above ground pool back there you know we wrapped some bamboo shit around it. Gussied it up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know we're not animals. No, no. But yeah, and then it was, it never really worked out great because like we didn't, like we then went through, we ended up getting, we got like a heater for an above ground pool,

like a heating unit because like we didn't understand that, you know, the way the weather works here or whatever, like it would only get, because it gets cold again at night, you know what I mean? Even in the summertime, it like never, because in Tennessee in the summer, if you got a pool or whatever after a couple of weeks of summertime, it's just warm from then until it cools off again. And we didn't know that it wouldn't work like that here. No, it's freezing every night.

Right, yeah. And we didn't know that it wouldn't work like that here. No, it's freezing every night. Yeah, and we didn't understand that. So they went up buying a heater for an above ground pool. And then by the time we had done that, the novelty had worn off and the boys didn't even want to fuck with it anymore. But they did both learn to swim and be comfortable in water and stuff in that above ground pool. So it was useful in that way. That's good.

But yeah, I mean, I've like, my whole existence is like, being like, I'm definitely like the most trailer trashy person in like my Burbank neighborhood. Do you know what I mean? Whereas like I'm Mr. Hollywood fancy pants, you know, back home. So you don't fit in either place. Exactly, yeah, I'm kind of a man without a country.

But in my, like in our neighborhood, you know, like, I got a Jeep Wrangler, but it's got all this sun damage on it and it's all beat to shit. And like my wife immediately pulled our whole front yard up because she was gonna do something else with it, but she just hasn't. So it's sitting there all fucked the whole time. We like mow our own yard and do all that stuff,

whichever, like the other day she asked our neighbor for permission to paint the side of our neighbor's like garage or shed that's, you know, butts up against our property or whatever. And the neighbor was like, yeah, that's fine. So just, you know, let me know when you get it scheduled, you know, when the workers are gonna be here and all that, just so I know.

And, you know, we were like, what are you, what are you just so I know, and you know, we were like, what are you talking about? You know, we were just gonna do it. Yeah, right. Can you let us know when the Mexicans will be arriving so we're ready for them? We hate to be surprised by the Mexicans. We like to put it on the neighborhood Facebook page the day before, just so everybody knows how many Mexicans are gonna be in the neighborhood and at what times. That's hilarious. So did you do it yourselves? I mean we haven't yet this is literally just like last week. Oh okay. That's the that's the plan. Yeah now was she a redneck too? I mean can I say redneck? Yeah. Okay. All for it. That is like it's a weird thing because like

where I you know I grew up in like, I was a kid in the 90s in rural Tennessee that was the height of Jeff Foxworthy and all that stuff. And it was like, in my hometown, it was just a, I don't know, like people were like, you know, proud to be rednecks or whatever. They wouldn't have taken like offense to it or anything. And then, but I guess that's heavily dependent on where you're from and your sensibilities on that shit But I don't give a damn, you know, you call me anything. That's fine, but she's again Relatively speaking yet like I think she's a very she's like the most

California II white woman that I ever met back there cuz she fucking loves lululemon and you know Yeah, yoga and Starbucks and all that type of shit. She's very kind of crunchy, but at the same time, compared to out here, I mean, no, she's definitely pretty white trash. I love that Starbucks is your reference for earthy, crunchy.

Yeah, I mean, it is. It's a fast food restaurant. Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying. But it's like, we lived in my hometown. We didn't have any traffic lights or like any, we had a Dairy Queen, which, but we didn't have any McDonald's or anything like that.

We got a Subway sandwich shop. It was like front page above the fold news. Oh, no kidding. Wow. Which we do have, it's weird that we even have a newspaper, but it's literally one dude in his house who plants a newspaper. Like it's fucking Deadwood or something. Wow. Which we do have, it's weird that we even have a newspaper, but it's literally one dude in his house who prints a newspaper. Like it's fucking Deadwood or something.

Yeah. Like one guy who saved up for a printing press in the eighties or something like that. And he's been doing it ever since. And it's just ad supported, just local. And local subscribers and stuff. Right, right. Oh, I love that.

Do you still get a copy of it? I do not. And I, well, this isn't why I was going to say because, but this is not why. But what's funny about that is like, like I said, Subway front page, above the fold nose. I got a guy who's a really good friend of mine. He was kind of like my older brother growing up,

who lives out here and is an aspiring actor and has done a bunch of commercial work and that type of thing. Or he'll show up as like the heavy on NCSI or something like that every now and then. And he's from my hometown too. And so like when he has done that, like that also is front page news, you know, we're going to watch out for NCSI, NCIS or whatever this week.

Cause this, cause local boy is going to be on there and like, you know, uh, I've, I've been on HBO multiple times. I had ABC send a crew to my hometown to do a thing there with me and because of them and all this stuff. This is for the development deal? No, this was a fucking date line special. Oh really?

Yeah, kind of highlighting just how fucked up things are in my hometown, really. Which should have foreseen them not taking very well Yeah, but either way the point is like and I've like never been acknowledged my existence in the in the paper probably because of the political nature of my You know, well, yeah I mean I get would you say your town is just solidly red or is or were you part of a small faction of liberal?

So it's weird because I guess it's kind of both because like my hometown is weird because when I was growing up there I would have described most people as apolitical. Yeah. Like in the night they were just kind of like they're all full of shit, fuck them all type of thing. But even like general elections, Clay County, Tennessee, up until 2008, don't know what that was about, but up until then it was like a blue county

in every general election. And now it's like hardcore, deep, Ruby Red Trump country. In the night, for years there was a big clothing factory there, Oshkosh Bagosh. They make the little overalls and all that stuff. country. Right. In the night there was a for years there was a big clothing factory there, Oshkosh Bagosh. They make the little overalls and all that stuff. Yeah the most whimsically named company to ever murder a whole town because they left in the 90s and it just like wrecked my town completely. Really. And it's been like depression era levels of unemployment. And also, so what I like my kitschy little thing that I say,

which is true is that the job showed up forever and the pills showed up for good at the exact same time in the nineties. Like that factory left right as Oxycontin and Percocets and all that became a thing. And the combination of that just, I mean, ruined my hometown. And then that just, I mean, ruined my hometown. And then that also, so like everything,

like the football team got shitty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like everything went just off a cliff. Did you have friends that got on opiates? Oh, I mean, my mom's like, you know, she's in recovery now, but like my mom, my mom was, I was basically raised entirely by my dad

because my mom was not only hooked on opiates, but she was also selling them too and got caught doing it and went to jail multiple times and all that shit when I was a kid. No kidding, really? Yeah, so we don't have, and then years later, and then, so we're all right now, you know, but you know, we're not like super close

cause she just wasn't, you know, she would show up to like, you know, take the guitar my grandma got me for Christmas to pawn it type of thing. Yeah, it's always like, some white trash stories are a lot of fun. Some of them are just sad. So I don't have to, but it was that type of thing. And my cousin, her, my aunt, her sister, she died.

My aunt's son, my first cousin, you know, OD'd and died. His like, I mean, and my family's like, every family in my town is like that. Like everybody's got people that are, you know, either got hooked on it and didn't make it out or ended up in jail or maybe they're okay now or not. But that's just like how it's I mean, it's just widespread. And the thing I was amazed by is like, where do all the pills come from? Because if it's a small town, there can't be a lot of pharmacies.

It's funny you say that because because the way that like the pharmaceutical companies, they like, it's been like proven now, they like targeted communities like mine for like starting the spread of this whole thing or whatever, cause it's like working class people that have a lot of aches and pains and that type of shit. And they work in mines or manufacturing jobs. Right, yeah, I mean, that's what happened to them.

She worked at that factory, fucked her back up at the factory, went to a doctor who prescribed her Percocet or whatever, and then that was just that. And that doctor had been coached by the pharmaceuticals. Yes. He had been told these are miracle drugs because the great thing is they're not addictive at all and they told people that. And so it was like a very concerted effort, but a lot of people were making a lot of money

off of it because they were just giving them out like candy. So my hometown, which I already told you, has no traffic lights and no fast food places, whatever. When I was a kid there, there was four different pharmacies in my hometown. No shit. Geraldo Rivera showed up with a camera crew because they did a raid on those pharmacies because they were all crooked and giving out pills illicitly and that type of shit. So it's like, no, there was no,

there should have been one mom and pop pharmacy, period. But there was four all in nice buildings and shit because they were just hooking everybody up. So what happens when those places get raided, get shut down, and there suddenly is a dearth of, dearth is a lack, right? Yep, dearth nailed it. Dearth is a lack of pills available.

What do people do? You know, well now, I mean, it's like, for a lot of people in a lot of places, it's like heroin and then now, fent, fent, fent and all that type of thing. Like people replace it with that, so. Is that what your mom did? No, she, so my mom got, she was real wrapped up in it in the height of all that in the late 90s and 2000s.

But she's been off of that, she's still, you know, she's still got her issues, But she's been off of that. She's still, you know, she's still got her issues. But she's been off of that and out of jail since 2011, or something like that. Oh, okay, got it, right. So, for a while. So, before the crackdowns started and the... Right, well, what's weird about that,

they had crackdowns and shit before, but then nothing would happen. Like the places would stay open, the doctors would keep their license, and like nothing would change. It was weird. Every now and then people would, there'd be some big raid and everybody would hear about it,

but then nothing at all changed. But they finally did really crack down on it, and I guess it is different now, but it's still, I mean, my town is town is still even that notwithstanding it's still pretty fucked did you ever fuck with it at all I not really but I do kind of get it because I went it during that time period when I was 18 I had my wisdom teeth cut out right and it dude this is such a like this is one of the things just like I didn't I'd never been anywhere else. I didn't understand what, what really my town and my life

and everything was like. Like I had no frame of reference for how crazy a lot of this shit was or whatever. But like there was no dentist or anything in my hometown that could, uh, that could do that. And you know, wisdom teeth cut out. So there was these people, these dentists who would come through in a van, like a traveling van or something. Really? That would come through town in a van. Whoa. Yeah. And you'd know when they were coming and you'd make an appointment and they would cut your teeth

out of your head or whatever. And so I got my wisdom teeth cut out by the the van dentist, right? And they like they You have your wisdom teeth, did you have them cut out or anything? I had one taken out. Do you know how they like Typically they tell you about like the possibility of dry sockets and stuff They're like don't drink through a straw for this amount of time. Yes. Keep them flushed and all this stuff. Because they literally none of that. Yeah.

I just showed up, they knocked me out, cut my teeth out, and then sent me on my way with a big old bottle of pills, right? Really? So, A, I was not told how to take care of any of that. So within a couple weeks, it had all gotten infected. Oh, Jesus. It was disgusting and awful. And now you got no dentist in town to deal with it.

Right. And yeah, so I had to go to the big town nearby where there's a mall and a movie theater to get that. The crazy city. Yeah, right. It really was like the city to me. But it's a place. It's called Cookville, Tennessee.

It's like halfway between Nashville and Knoxville. And there's a Cal College there. It's like a town of 30,000 people or something but it was like the major metropolitan area of Of Putnam County to me, but I went there got that all dealt with but they all like I said They also gave me a big old bottle of pills and at first I was you know I mean my shit was pretty fucked up at first so I've taken taking these pills Because they help.

But then, fast forward a week or two or whatever it is later, and it's like this is pretty much okay now. And I'm still taking these pills and just playing Dreamcast in my room. Cause they're pretty awesome. They're awesome. And then I ran out, like I was up finally,

and I went to, like I was up finally, and I went to, I'm so white trash, I also have a cousin named Trey, so my cousin Trey, I went to his trailer, cousin Trey's trailer, and that night to play Halo or some shit, and I'd run out of my pills, and his dad had a lingering back issue. So he had a script, you know, and I knew that and I never brought it up before.

But I get down there that night and I'm like, hey, you know what we should do? We should like go in the kitchen or the medicine cabinet or whatever. We should like grab some of your dad's pills, you know? And he immediately was like, what the fuck, no. Because he had fucked me. And I genuinely, in my head at that moment, I was like, why are you being a dick about this? You know what I mean?

That's how I felt about it. I was like, they're right there. Fucking, it'll be fun. Why are you being an asshole? And he, the whole time, was like, dude, what's wrong with you? He's like, we're not gonna steal my dad's pills. So I like left in anger.

Really? Yeah, and, but he refused to do it so we didn't do it. So I had no access to him. And then after that, I mean, I probably could have called my mom, but I didn't want to do that. So. So you already knew your mom was in trouble

with these kinds of pills. And yet that wasn't like a red flag to you not to mess around with them? I mean, it was, but once I, again, I got them, I knew it could really fuck your shit up. But I, we, none of us yet knew the reality of like how they were presented, meaning like I knew that it happened to her,

but a doctor had given me these, right? So I was like, so that's fine. And I'm saying by the time I got to the end of it, in retrospect I realized like clearly, my brain, I wasn't thinking about it right. Because that's what I'm saying, it's like I didn't, so it fucks up the way you think. It slides right in there. Yeah, it changes the way you think. It slides right in there.

Yeah, it changes the way you think and look at it. And then it rewires your brain once it gets in. And then I couldn't get in, a couple days later, I was like, what the fuck was that about? I realized how crazy that was. And that was my closest ever dalliance. But if he had been on board with that, I mean, I might be like all of my cousins.

Well, I got into a thing where I got shoulder surgery and I'd always, I've been off alcohol for 35 years. I quit when I was like 25 years old, and 23 years old when I quit, 24. But I always took a lot of pills back then, did a lot of coke, and then I would occasionally take pills for pain, and when I did, I really responded. I was like, wow, this feels, as an addict, I just felt it. So I got shoulder surgery about 10 years ago,

and they prescribed me some Percocets, or I can't remember, it was hydrocodone, and then I had a second doctor. So the surgeon wrote me a script, then my general practitioner wrote me a script, and then I went to like a therapist who wrote, so I was getting them from three places, and then I had a friend who could get them from a doctor.

So I went like for six months where I was taking like three or four a day day and I was in such denial that I was getting into trouble with this. Right. Because the problem is... I had shoulder surgery, I have a problem, doctors told me to do this. Right, right. And the problem is it gets into your receptors, your endorphin receptors or your whatever the chemical that makes you feel good. Yeah, dopamine receptors. Yeah, dopamine receptors. It clogs them up so that now the normal dopamine your body produces doesn't get in because

the drugs are in there and it's synthetic. And so to withdraw means to not feel anything good until those clear themselves out which is why it's so Impossible to get off of them, right? Well, how long ago was that did you say like probably eight years ago? right because that the other the other side of this is like I these like mythical doctors you just show up and it's like You know like that famous milani bit about like I'll, I'll just go there. And I say, sometimes I get nervous on airplanes and they'll give you Xanax or whatever. And like my buddy, Joe Zimmerman had a bit about like, he said he went to the doctor

and told him he's like, I think I have ADHD, you know, like talking about Adderall. And the doctor was like, well, let me ask you one question. Do you have insurance? And he was like, yeah, I do. And the doctor goes, yeah, you got it. Right. And he's like, I hear people talk. And again, in my hometown, I know it was like that, but I've never had that experience. Like, I'm like nearly on my deathbed coughing with some sort of horrible bronchial infection or something like that. And I can't, and you know, they'll, maybe they just can tell. Maybe they just know. Like he's from a fucking addicts bloodline like we can't trust it but they just never got a camo hat on like when many opiates yes exactly like but when

I'd like need something you know like legit cough syrup or something that I can't get it yeah because they're so you know they're so wary right right right then I hear people talk about it's like every doctor I go to it's just like you have these you should have these here's some of these. Yeah, no I was in South Africa for Christmas and I had a really... This year? Yeah, for three weeks and I got a really bad chest cold on my way over and I started being able to like not breathe so I went to the pharmacy and I asked for I go give me your strongest cough medicine and they gave me this bottle, it it said, coating on it. Right. And I knew I shouldn't fuck around with it, but I took it, and it did feel... It works. It fucking worked, and it felt really good.

I still, even after everything with my family and all that, I feel like, especially, you know, as you get older and everything, if you're really fucked up, if you're like, you're sick for real, you can't stop coughing, or like, you know, you're in genuine pain, you know, I think that responsible adults should be able to get and take that, and it's up to them to not get, you know, hooked on it again, especially now, but it's like, it was just misrepresented to a lot of people. Yeah. So your dad took over, was because did he have a did you have a stepmom or did he have a girlfriend or he just kind of stood up and took care of you? He had one girlfriend right after they they split up when I was seven he had a

girlfriend when I was probably eight or nine and then that was it from there he got yeah he ran the the video store in my little town which was a converted single wide trailer. Yeah. That he put these letters on, it said Crowder's on the side. So it was Crowder's video. But again, it was the video store in that town. So we rented, and buddy, you know, the back room with the curtain where the big box pornos are at. Like that's what kept the lights on really. Oh yeah.

All these Christians having to come in there one at a time and go out there and get their, you know. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. And but we so. He was so he was like a long haired, like weed smoking jean jacket wearing fucking, you know, rock and roll hippie dude. Like you didn't fuck with the Lord. So I didn't grow up in church which is weird for there. Yeah.

And he liked, you know, he liked fucking David Lynch movies and David Bowie and that type of thing. So that's what started, you asked me if I'm like from a pocket or a faction of, you know, queers but like I'm, but I am kind of, I mean like a lot of people at the end of the day I am sort of the way that I was raised to be, really. Because again, he was very much an outlier in that town, and like I said, he didn't send me to church. A big part of that, I think, for him, his brother, his only sibling, his brother, my

uncle Tim, is gay. And so like... Oh right, that was a big effect on you in terms of not liking the way the church treated gay people. Right. So yeah, well I kind of didn't even grow up going to... When I was real little I went to church and thought nothing up. It's like, oh, you know, coloring books with Jesus in them or whatever. Then because my dad, my parents got divorced and it was just my dad, he didn't make us

go to church. By the time I went back to church, because I had friends who were like, oh, we're going to take a trip to Nashville shores or whatever the church is. I was like, oh, we're gonna take a trip to Nashville Shores or whatever the church is. I was like, well, that sounds fun. And I tried church out at like 12, 13 or whatever. I knew that my Uncle Tim was gay and I would like, you know, hear the homo-sexuality being an abomination and that type of shit at that age. And that's when I was just like, well, I don't wanna fuck with that.

And when I told my dad, you know, he was just like, hell yeah, I don't fuck with it either. You know, turn the scooter back up. So your dad was totally cool with his brother. There was no- Oh no, they were very close. My dad died of pancreatic cancer in 2013. So he's been gone for a long time now.

Uncle Tim is still around, but they were very close. And they're like six years apart too, but I mean, they were tight. And how did the town react to your uncle's? That's another thing that's weird about my... it's like it's a weird place because like it is very fucking crazy white trash redneck in so many ways. But at the same time, like before that aforementioned factory left in the 90s, right, my uncle and his partner, my other uncle, my uncle Tim and my uncle Mike, right, they owned a deli together on the town square called the New Day Deli that they ran together.

The New Day Deli? The New Day Deli, yeahi that they ran together. And everybody knew they were a gay couple. And it was like, the deli did well, it was popular. Like a lot of people out there, and it was fighting like nobody ever threw a brick through his window or nothing like that. But they did call it the New Gay Deli behind their back.

I'm sure that's of course they did. Yeah, well, definitely, cause I mean, I got, I got, you know, fucking like uncle, like nephew. Cause like I also, I read, I liked books and shit. Super gay. Yeah. You know, so like that plus a gay uncle is like, I got a lot of it, but, but like I said-

Like mean-spirited or teasing? I mean, both. There were some like real redneck dumb ass motherfuckers who I think also just kind of resented me because I was also like the smart kid in my school. I liked books but I like made good grades and I was like I was I was a smart kid in my school which I realized now looking back I realized that's like being the straightest dude at a share concert or something like it's not yeah the bar is pretty low it's not that

impressive but I but I didn't know that and at at the time, I thought I was hot shit intellectually. I graduated that school truly believing that I was good will hunting. I thought I was that type of genius. And so, frankly, to be fair to them, I was definitely pretty pompous. And I didn't think I was smarter than everybody. I was utterly convinced of the fact that I was way smarter than everybody else around me

You know, do you think part of it was just that there is there a culture there where? Studying is not acceptable or cool. Yeah. Well, it's definitely not cool I mean, it's like acceptable I guess but like I yeah people like but the cool kids are more into sports a hundred percent That's the only thing that's cool is playing sports. So like and I played sports and also let a lot of athletes Cheat off of me right like cheat off my homework and stuff. So like My school was so small. There's no clicks like you see in High school movies now people for click right? No, there No, there's literally just, you're either popular, or popular-ish, or you're not.

Yeah. Like that's all there is. And I was one of the, I was in like the popular group because my best friends were the captain of the football team in the homecoming. Because you let them cheat. Because I let them copy off of me and also because I was funny and all that shit.

And I was on the teams but I was not good. But that's how I survived, but in middle school, socially I mean. But in middle school and shit. Yeah, I mean people, like I said, I used to get just ripped. People would like, they would literally be like, Trey fucking, you know what he thinks is fun? He's reading. He reads books for fun.

That's what, like that type of shit. Yeah, yeah. And would call me gay. What about the girls? Did you get any girls? They were like, sorry to say it, they were like the worst about that. Uh-huh. Like there was this group of girls, it's so so pathetic, but I got like kind of bullied by a group of girls. They would chant because of the like reading for fun thing and all that stuff, they chant you know Trey is gay my name rhymes with gay Trey and I've got a gay uncle Trey is gay Trey is gay and not in the happy way that's how they would that's what they really yeah and that was a good like the dudes were cool mostly so were you a virgin until you got out of high school no I where I was

a little bit off a stray yes very yes very yes. Also this again some of the shit that's true about my background is wild how white trash it is the girl that I lost my virginity to later her dad would murder my uncle in cold blood for a completely unrelated thing. Different uncle? Yes, not uncle Tim, but my uncle Bubbles. Rest in peace. This is your father's brother? No, it Uncle Tim, but Uncle Bubbles, rest in peace. This is your father's brother? No, it's my mom's. It was my aunt's husband. My uncle and my aunt were together my whole life. He was always great to me, but he was like, both of those dudes were not great. My Uncle Bubbles was in and out of prison my whole childhood

and was like a motherfucker. Just any kind of redneck criminality bullshit you come up with, he was involved with. But the dude, the girl that I lost my virginity to, her dad, the guy that killed him, he also was a huge piece of shit. So like a drug deal gone wrong or something. It's way dumber than that. It's like, uh, they, my younger cousin and her, me and her, I was already gone when all this happened. And me and her had nothing to do with each other in a long, long, long time. I'm completely separate from this, but it's a small town. Her younger sister and

my younger cousin, my uncle's son, had been a couple. And then like, there was drama between them cheating and a breakup and whatever else. and that led the dads to start shit with each other over a high school relationship Yeah, so he killed a guy over his child's breakup Yes, but I think look man. I should this was like 20 something years ago Okay, so we should put okay, we should put allegedly in front of a leg this. Right, right. Because I don't want because this is like we're talking about murder and slander and stuff. I know I haven't said any names here but still I mean other than Bubbles. But I guess the story was they were talking

a lot of shit to each other in the whole thing. Bubbles was like I'll come out there motherfucker and like went to his house and had a gun on him and he's now on this guy's property with a gun and then the dude shoots him which is the right to stand your right yeah exactly that's a the version of it that I always was given to believe you know I don't know exactly how it shook out but just you know crazy white trash shit but that but his daughter that lost my virginity too I think I was 16, like halfway to 17 or something, because I finally figured out, I also on top of all this, I was a fat kid, right?

No. Yeah, big time. Oh God. And in high school- Way to bury the lead on that one, you should have told me that earlier. I was a fat dork, and I'm still a doughy motherfucker, but I mean, I was like a fat kid,

and in high school around that time, I got a big growth spurt. And also, if this is true, realized that liquids had calories in them because I did not know that. And like I said, I was the smart kid in my school, too. But I didn't realize that I thought only food could make you fat. So soda you're talking about. I was drinking, so like the year before I actually lost weight, I had like tried

to just stop eating as much. I was basically starving myself and I wasn't losing any weight. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? I was very frustrated by it. And one day I came home from school and I did the same thing I did every day when I got home from school,

which is I went to the refrigerator and I pulled out the bottle of Sunny D, right? And just, you know, took three, four big plugs of it, shoved it back in there. This day when I shoved it back in there, the back of the bottle was facing me, the nutrition information. I shoved it back in there, went to close the door and I was like, what the fuck? And I like grabbed it and looked at it and I was like, no way. And it said, you know, one serving of Sunny D is 180 calories or whatever it was. And I was like, why did somebody tell me this is crazy? And so then I stopped drinking everything but water or booze if I was at a party. But I stopped drinking it.

It's sodas, sugary drinks, any of that shit. And I had a growth spurt. So like sophomore to junior year, those two things combined, I lost like 40 pounds and shot up six inches. So that helped a lot. I was still a fucking, you know, smart kid nerd or whatever. Yeah. I'm guessing this girl you lost your virginity to wasn't slim either. No, not particularly. Yeah. Well, Salina slim, you know. Salina Slim. Yeah. That was actually her dad's name. He was a riverboat gambler and a criminal. Salina Slim. That's not true. So your dad, were you guys close then? Very. Do you have siblings? Yeah, I have one younger sister.

So your dad, I just can't believe your dad was able to step up like that and raise two kids on his own and Put you through college and grad school or I mean not put you maybe didn't pay for it No, I supported you through it Yeah Yeah and also all like comedy and stuff too because like I said cuz he ran the video store and she yeah his His dad my grandfather was like really the patriarch of the family and he was an old gearhead who like built and raced stock cars in the 50s and 60s and shit and now he owned a garage and a car lot and all that shit. All of which also closed when the factory left. He was like a real

man's man type dude and but he had the position of like he knew I was smart and make good grades and he was like that's good you're're not gonna do any like grease monkey shit. He was like, you can do whatever you wanna do. But what he meant by that was like, I could be a lawyer or a doctor, you know, I could do some fancy businessman stuff or whatever, because I was smart. And so when I'm like a teenager or whatever

and I tell him I wanna do comedy and showbiz, you know, he's just like, he's like, fucking what? He's like, no, you've got a golden ticket. You're throwing it away. What are you doing? Yeah. But my dad the whole time was like, I think it'd be cool as hell boy. Like he, he was very on board with it. Yeah. And so he was, he couldn't have been more supportive. We had no money. And yeah, I mean, I put, you know, I had like a bunch of

grants and scholarships and stuff to get through college. And I worked the whole time too, but like But like emotionally and all that he couldn't have been more supportive. He was like Yeah, I mean my sister talk all the time about how like we're Statistical outliers in a lot of ways like we're like background and everything and we're how we are not dead or in jail or hooked On drugs all that type of shit. Yeah, but like I mean the truth is, that's pretty much entirely because of my dad. Like, if my dad had not done that and been that way, then I, you know, I probably would be, you know, turned out the same way as a lot of my cousins did.

And so you grew up on a, sort of on the border of Kentucky and Tennessee? Yeah. And what is the difference between those two states? Because a lot of us don't know. Well, I mean, where I'm at, so like that's north middle Tennessee and south middle Kentucky. I mean, fucking literally nothing. Yeah. Like this side of the line, it's, you know, big blue and this side of the line is go vols. And that's, that's really about it. But generally, Kentucky is a lot more nuanced of a state, in my opinion, than Tennessee is. Parts of Kentucky are very, like East Kentucky coal country shit is like hillbilly as hell

and it's very much like the South. And the part that I grew up across from, it's the fucking South. But as you get up into Kentucky, and also they, you know, they were neutral in the Civil War and all that. They weren't part of the Confederacy. Oh, that's right. That's right. They were one of the three or four. They were a slave state, but we're not part they didn't secede. Yeah, not in the Confederacy. So it's like, you know, it's a so their slaves weren't as tightly guarded.

They were like free range. Right. I actually think it's more like they just, because they were cool with, because they didn't succeed at first, the union was just like for a minute they were like, we'll let them have slaves for a second until they couldn't anymore. So because of all that. But then you got like Lexington. Right. Louisville, Lexington, all that up there is like, it's a-

Horse country. Yeah, right. There's people with money and horses and stuff. It's more basketball than football oriented. And like Louisville, I was just in Louisville and like, I like Louisville a lot, but it's- Love Louisville. It doesn't, it does not feel like, you know,

like a Southern city or anything to me. But parts of Kentucky, whereas, I mean, Tennessee is just, I mean, it's the fucking south all the way through it. Except Nashville. Well, yeah, but I've found that even Nashville is where frat boys from Ohio go to cosplay as a redneck or whatever. You know what I mean? They got a whole kitschy fucking cowboy hat and boots type yee-haw thing that they catered to.

And all the women are there on bachelorette parties dressed up in Daisy Duke shorts and cowboy boots. Right and they do all that because of how you know it's like we're going to the south for a thing. Right. But I mean yes the city you know like Memphis is fucking black as hell obviously. Yeah. And not at all redneck but still southern in a black southern type of way. And like, there's, I've found that most states in this country, the cities are, you know, different than the other parts. Like when I drive, there's parts of California I drive through that look like, I mean, maybe not topographically, but culturally look like, you know, parts of middle of nowhere

in Tennessee. Right, right. So yeah. So which brings us to your politics coming out of there. What's it like when you go on the road? I mean I assume you attract most of your audience. Yeah. But there also must be a certain percentage of passive people. Say you're playing Chattanooga, Tennessee, which I think is coming up on your calendar. It is, yeah. Then you go into a place like that, say 20% of the people come in because it's the Chattanooga

Comedy Club, and they don't know your politics. Do you get pushback, and how do you deal with that? Yeah, that whole thing is definitely a thorn in my side, because I even in front of my like regular if I know it's just all my people right I still don't I would say 80 plus percent of the stuff that I try to do is not like overtly political or whatever but I have this thing in my hair it's like I want to give you know I want to give them what I think they came for. It's like a thing.

Well, cause your internet following is much more political. It's very, yeah. Right. Right. And so what I typically try to do generally is like, I'll start right out the gate with like 10-ish minutes of stuff that's pretty overtly political, you know, to just, so people that came to see me are like, oh, he's doing the thing. He did the thing.

And then after that, I just talk about whatever I want to. But I try to have a read on what you're talking about. And sometimes it works out better than others where it's like, sometimes I'm in a club because I also I'll do like in Chattanooga, that's like a smaller ish theater. Like sometimes it's theaters and not clubs yeah and uh those people they're not getting a lot of like passive right just regular it those are those people i'm actively fans are fans of mine are there to see me so i'm not worried about it

yeah and then in some clubs i you know if i have a sense that that i'm getting a good number of those people i you know i try to fucking rein it back in yeah I don't want to I don't want does it happen though. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it happens Yeah, how do you deal with that? Well, I say it's happened luckily so far. It's happened in a way It's like you know every now and then I'll walk a table sure something and I think quietly. Well. Yes so far I have a child love. I love quietly walking right yeah, that's fine with me. Yeah, but I I Which I love. I love quietly walking at a table. Right. Yeah, that's fine with me. But I haven't... I mean the type of heckling I get and stuff usually is like drunk fans of mine that are like overly excited. So you know, yeah, because I found that... first of all, I respect that you still do it at all because I know a lot of comics,

they talk a good game when they're in LA or New York and then they go down to the Houston Improv and and all sudden they're not doing the same material and it's like well your material should be strong enough that you can do it no matter where you are your jokes should work they should be you know mathematically good jokes and so I think it's important that you do that and I think that there's more of a fear of backlash than a reality of it I think it's important that you do that. And I think that there's more of a fear of backlash than a reality of it. I think it's pretty rare that somebody with a MAGA hat

is gonna yell up, you know, make America great again, like after one of your jokes. Like most people just go with it. They may not like it, they may leave, but they don't really yell that much. No, I agree. I mean, that's been my experience too. And yeah, I tried it, like I said, a lot of like,

again, the stuff I do at the very top, if I'm on a tour show, and for my people, the first five or 10 minutes is probably, is gonna be, you know, pretty overt. But a lot of the stuff that I talk, and I've always been this way too, like even that's nothing too that's wild is like, so I started in Knoxville and then in the surrounding areas,

Chattanooga, Nashville, Atlanta, all that stuff. 15 years ago. And back then, like the most fucking whatever edgy or punk rock type thing you could do would be like bits that I guess people would call woke now. But you know, making fun of the Bible, shitting on the Bible,

or doing a pro-abortion joke, or pro-gay jokes and that type of thing. And it was like, you know, again, that made you a fucking firebrand then and there. You were like pushing the envelope. And so I did that. Now it's like a completely different everything. Just the context and, you know, now it's like pandery or whatever. But I try to do things that are like, like I got a whole big chunk right now that I'm

doing about the idea of woke schools, right? Woke public schools. And I talk about my, I went to a public school and how not woke it was. My sons go to a public school out here and it is woke, right? And it's the type of stuff that I really do think that like generally it is like it's talking about stuff but it's something that I would do in front of a mixed audience or general audience. I was in Springfield, Missouri early recently and Kyle Kanane was at the club I was at the next night. And so the night before I went and did spots on his show, you know, and it's,

it's his audience, but they, but they don't, most of them don't know who I am or whatever. And I did a bunch of tried a bunch of that new stuff that, uh, you know, cause I want to make sure that it's like, yeah, that it's not just, I hate the idea of, I mean, pandering one, but claptor especially, like I try to, cause I think there's, it's not just, I hate the idea of, I mean pandering one, but claptor especially. Yeah. Like I try to, right. Because I think there's, it's kind of, it can be two different things. Like you could, you know, you can like, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. There's some stuff I do every now and then that I know is kind of pandery, but I still do think that it's funny or like

there's a funny joke in it, you know? Well, I just think so. But like claptor is like, it's just saying something that people agree with. Right, right. And there's no joke at all. And I try genuinely very hard to not do that. And I also think that the way you broach the subject, you know, obviously some people are more likable than others. So if you're a likable comic, you can usually take the crowd places that they wouldn't normally go. Right. But it's also about not yelling out platitudes and going, walking on and go, well Trump's a fucking asshole and here's why. It's like no, go to the

here's why. And then if they want to extrapolate whatever they want from it they can. Obviously your point of view is gonna come through, but you're not making them sign on to the premise at the beginning or reject the premise at the beginning. You know there's ways of doing it and I do a lot of anti-gun jokes in the deep south and I see people and I know my rhythm has to be a little faster at that beginning. When I'm introducing that I'm anti-gun, don't give them a window or they will take it. Right, yeah. I mean I got, I mean, I got a, like, so I have a thing, I talk about my son's school or whatever, and I talk about how they have a land acknowledgement, like an office or whatever, which is where,

and I genuinely think that a lot of people in other places, like, don't know what that is, right? So I say, it's like, that's like where they started, start the day off by saying, we acknowledge that the land we are on was unjustly taken away from the indigenous peoples of the insert tribes here depending on where you're at geographically right a lot of times my crowd people will like clap for that you know just because like that's a great thing to do yeah but what I say right after that is like which I mean I get what they're doing but I can't help but find it a little bit funny because I feel like the underlying implication of

that is I mean don't even wrong we're still gonna keep it back all of our stuff's here yeah we're just giving a shout out so it's like I sometimes people will like I'm explaining it and people will like clap at that part but then the the joke itself is like making fun of performative wokeness or whatever do you know what I mean oh yeah yeah and it's also like I have an abortion joke that seems like it's going to be pro-choice and it's actually kind of an indictment of how lazy people are about getting an abortion, you know, and how entitled they are to the abortion instead of like way. And so, and I love catching women in that trap.

Or I'll say like, or I'll say like, God is whatever you want God to be. God's a manifestation of whatever you think the higher power is. And like, God can be a man or a woman. Like my God's a woman. And then women clap and I go, she got big tits and she's quiet.

And you just see their, their friend there the smile turns into a frown. Right, yes. No, yeah, I love that and I try to do versions of that, you know, type of thing. All right, I want to get into fast dogs with, oh, for Trey, Trey Crowler. I wrote crawler. Yeah, Trey Crowder. We got it right. So I want to talk a little bit about the sitcoms because you've had three deals now. Are they all the same idea and different executions of it? The three deals that I had, yes, were. I also sold another sitcom that I worked on with some other people that had nothing to do

with any of that. None of which ended up going. But I had three development deals that ended up in network sitcoms that, yes, were the classic, like, comedian gets a sitcom about it. So semi-autobiographical. Last time I had some version of like, I'm moving back to a version of my hometown.

Fish out of water, right, right. And he's a fish out of water water even though he's from here. And that's kind of set up. And then I sold the show to Amazon that I didn't have a development deal for that I just worked with these people on and it had nothing to do with me. It was like a country music show. The ones from the deals were yeah, same versions of the same thing. Yeah. But the ones from the deals were yeah same yeah. Yeah. Versions of the same thing. Yeah. Well that's good. I mean everybody says they're

looking at everybody in development says we're looking for a strong point of view and it's like well you fucking have one you should have a show. Tell me about it. I've been thinking that for a long time. You hear the stuff about the point of view and it's like well my point of view it's like people, executives and stuff I mean, I think they like the idea of it or something, and then they don't know exactly how to deal with the reality of the whole thing. You know what I mean?

They just don't really know what to do. Cause it's so, the world I'm trying to represent, especially in shows that are like set in like versions of my hometown, it's just so fucking alien to these like Hollywood studio executives, you know? Like they don't, I mean, they can't't connect with it but they don't understand why I think it's funnier though it's Mayberry right they'll be like is this right it's like fucking you know pill addicted white trash Mayberry it's like yeah fucking you

know the Mayberry in hell right there and they're just you know then it they just they don't get things, but also they'll be like, is this real? You should tone this down. And they'll be like, I already did tone that down before I even put it in there. Like that type of shit is what I just kept running into. All right, top three southern comedians of all time.

Jesus, of all time? Man, that's hard, you put me on the spot. I mean I... Alright, modern comedians. I mean my guy, I love him. I'm gonna put Roy Wood Jr. at the top right now. I love Roy from Alabama. I think he's awesome. And these are, if you asked me tomorrow I'd have a different, but the first ones that like popped into my head, I guess. Let's see, I also, I mean look, again, I grew up loving Foxworth. He's like the Redneck Seinfeld or whatever. Like he's like our guy. He's amazing. So I owe a lot to him. I'm gonna see you next week. Probably Ron White, you know.

Yeah, fuck yeah. How about Theo Avon? Are you friends with him? Yeah, no one loved Theo. Yes, he's great. Right. Yeah, again, I just, you know, thought of those three guys first, but I think Theo's one of the funniest human beings alive. So fucking funny, I mean... He's crazy funny. Yeah, he really is. He's just like got something special, you can't fake that kind of funny. And then, what about Andy Griffith? The, like, the actor or the show or the... Well he was comedian. Yes he was. Yeah. That's right you're right. Yes I mean I know the football bit. What it was was football. Yeah. Yeah I don't I've always I've always

heard that he was like a pretty big dick. Oh really? Yes right. Yeah. That's hilarious. I'm just not saying it's true I don't know but allegedly that's what I'd heard I met this like old boys like a roadie for fucking Southern rock band. Yeah, who had a story about Meeting him when he was a kid and Andy Griffith when he's like eight and Andy Griffith telling me to go fuck himself But that's not the only I've heard other stuff like that too, so I wonder what What uh Opie has to say about him. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Ron Howard? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good question. I've never heard him talk about him. He doesn't talk shit about people. That's why he's lasted so long in this business. Right. Are we gonna do a thing now called Fastballs with Fits? Okay. You ready? Yeah.

See how my swing is? Probably not great. What's the last fist fight you've had? College in a bar over a stupid girlfriend I had at the time who she was being obnoxious and started you know and some dude told her to stop and I told him to you know go fuck himself or whatever and we just I had a bunch of guys and he had a bunch of guys and so it just devolves into a fucking one of those like cartoon smoke cloud, may lays like immediately, but briefly before, you know,

bouncers jump in and throw us all out. I don't even remember what she did, but remembering that girl, like it was definitely her fault. The way that party started, I thought you were going to say, so I punched her in the face. Much better story.

No, no, in retrospect, I mean, I would have been alright with that if one of them had done it. You know, she kind of, looking back, she did not deserve it. But at the time, you know, what was I going to do? But yeah, that was in fucking Panama City, Florida. Where else? Was it a spring break thing? Yes, spring break at the...

Oh, everybody's looking for a fight. Right. Well, the problem is... The Tiki Bar at the Sandpiper Beacon. Shout out to one of the most trashiest degenerate places on earth. The problem is with Spring Break is that guys have this vision of going down there. They've seen movies and there's tons of chicks in bikinis. And you get there and you realize

there's five guys for every girl and they're mostly football teams. Yes. So you don't stand a chance. Right that's true. The dudes that I was with in that bar they were they were football players and the other guys probably were too so it's also one of those things where it's like if these dudes hadn't been with me I might have just been like get your fucking shit together. Yeah right. Don't talk shit to that guy. You see how big that guy is? Yeah you look at him and go what's with this bitch? Yeah right. Don't talk shit to that guy. You see how big that guy is? Yeah, you look at him and go, what's with this bitch? Yeah, right.

What, um, let's see. Have you ever borrowed a lot of money? We talked about college. Yeah, like from anybody? Yeah. Uh, I mean, like, so not a mortgage, not a car. No, no, no. I mean, no. I've always been real proud about like, I've been like totally financially independent

since I was 18 and also something about the way that I was raised, the way that I am. I have like a deep seated aversion to asking people for stuff or for help or just for anything. Right. Right. No, I'll take care of myself. I'll be all alright type thing. So I don't think I've ever bought, you know, more than like, oh I forgot my wallet, give me 40 bucks for this.

Have you lent anybody a lot of money? I mean, you count my mom? Yeah. But I don't consider it lending because I know it's never coming back. Yeah, right. So I just give her a lot of money. So yeah. When's the last time you apologized to somebody?

My wife just got back from a trip, so probably today, but I can't remember what it would have been about. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a very like, I'm kind of, I must have some like Canadian in me or something, because I like, I'm quick to default to like, yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. I'm sure I was being a dumbass about something. It's also like I said, I don't like asking people for stuff. Part of that is I don't like to feel like I'm putting people out.

Do you know what I mean? So like on the road and shit all the time, I'll be like, hey, I'm gonna be there a little bit later and I thought I was, I'm real sorry about that. It'll be like, hey, I'm going to be there a little bit later than I thought I was. I'm real sorry about that. It'll be like that type of thing. Yeah. Like I'm constantly apologizing for little shit that I don't really need to. Okay.

But it's just part of my whole thing. So if it's like a big legit thing, I'll probably apologize too early. She probably thinks that I must not mean it because I dove into it too fast or whatever. Yeah. You know, but I'm always just like let's just please just let's just skip to the part where you know I was wrong and we move past it. Like I'm okay with having been wrong. Well that's a different kind of apology. That's, that's a, that's a, that's a pragmatic apology. Yeah. as opposed to on a deep level wanting to make amends about something. Okay, all right. Yes, right. So a very sincere, I am sorry for the way I went about this type of thing. Yeah. The first thing that comes into mind, not a fun story, is I had a friend that I made a

I made a like a remark to about how everything was coming up that his family like everything's going so great for you guys because he just mentioned getting a promotion or something else something like that when I knew but wasn't thinking about the fact that his wife had had a miscarriage recently and I said that in front of all of them you know and then me as soon as I did immediately you know and so I was like immediately I was like hey just so you know, and so I was like, immediately I was like, hey, just so you know, that was a, I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have done that. In front of everybody you apologized?

Yeah, like right off the bat as soon as I realized it. That's the first thing that popped in my head. Yeah, yeah, that's a good save. Because if you do it later, then it's like you didn't deal with it, you let him sit with those feelings for a while as opposed to remedying it immediately, even though it would be more face-saving to do it later. He did the manly thing and apologized in the moment. Yeah, I mean I'd like to think that I'm pretty good about recognizing and acknowledging when I've been wrong about something. The flip side of that is,

if I'm truly convinced that I'm right about something, buddy, you're talking about fucking righteous indignation. Nothing makes me matter than being told or accused of being wrong about a thing that I know that I'm right about. You know what I mean? Where it's like, I know that I'm on the right side of this and the other person is acting like I'm not drives me fucking insane. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Have you ever not finished a set on stage? No, I don't think so. Interesting. No, I don't think. I mean, maybe... No, I don't think so. I No, I don't think so I mean what do you have a story for that have you I got hitting the chest with an Apple while opening they might be giants at an outdoor show at a college and I said, alright take it easy everybody

I was just with some comics and shows when we were talking about if you're Larry Miller tell that story about going to that like Indiana Highway Patrolman's dinner that he was doing. He was like a corporate and they didn't tell him he didn't know this. He just shows up thinking he's the entertainment for the night but before his set starts they do a memorial service for a fallen brother in the highway patrol who had just died in like the last two weeks and his widow and two small children were there. Oh no. And they had them on stage and had a slideshow and all this stuff and they played this sad music and not a dry in the house, everybody's crying.

And at the end of it, at the end of it, he's like, all right. And now the comedy stylings of Larry Miller, right? And his point to the whole story is like, he's like, you know, the thing is like, it would never enter your mind to not do that. You know what I mean? To just be like, hey, this is your mind to not do that. You know what I mean? To just be like, hey, we're not doing this. It never occurred to me not walk up there. It's just like, well, I gotta fuck it. I gotta do it. And it's like, I was just talking with a bunch of comics this weekend about that, but it's like, you know, getting hell gig situations,

whatever. And you're like, well, I'm just gonna go eat shit for this amount of time, and then be mad about it. No, we're fucking soldiers. I was just talking to Paul before the show about how like, I don't know that I've ever missed in 35 years, I don't know that I've missed a show because I was sick.

Right. You just do it. You just, it doesn't occur to you to go, oh I can't, I can't do it. No, because all of us struggled starting out and we were so hungry and desperate for stage time that we, I've never taken it for granted ever since. Yeah, no, I, yeah, same thing. I don't think I've ever missed one. Well, when I was still in Knoxville, and so three or four years in, I came back from a Bonnaroo once,

and I was just, you know, either just whatever I ate or all the drugs and the combination thereof, it felt like food poisoning. I was fucked up bad for a couple of days. In one of those days, I was supposed to have a show and I had to tell the guys like, dude, I'm sorry, but I can't get off the couch.

And I think that's the only time in 15 years I've done that. When I have to cancel a show for like some legit reason, some like TV thing or something, you know, like I hate myself for that, you know, let alone just because I, you because I couldn't do it. Right. Alright, finally, what is the hackiest bit that you've ever done? I had early on, one of my closers was a bit about a bulldog at the time, an English bulldog. It was a bit about watching him poop, you know? And he's like real struggling.

He's up on his, you know, his like tip toes or whatever. Would you act out the tip? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And then also take my hand, my finger and put it right here and be like, and then his little, his little lipstick starts poking out his little red rocket, red rocket, you know, I'm talking about fellas. So I said, then I get like, fellas, I've taken a lot of good shits in my day. I ain't never shit my dick hard, boys. There's going to be a night, now that I've made you bring that bit up, you're going to be having a bad set in the next six weeks, and you're gonna pull that bit out at the end just to get yourself off stage. Don't miss Trey Crowder, not Crawler, as I wrote on my

script. He is just a great stand-up, your special. When did that special come out? I think the one you saw was the last one, but my next one's coming out in like two weeks. March 13th, Trash Daddy. Okay. That's called. That's great. And it's gonna be on what? On YouTube, 800 Pound Gorillas YouTube page. Or YouTube channel. Why not put it on your own channel? Because they, well, you know, they made it. They shot it and everything did they pay for it yes okay yes uh he's going to be coming to you uh march 1st in fort lauderdale march 2nd in uh tampa yeah uh the march 7th and 8th in minneapolis march 21st in portsmith then, then Boston, Binghamton, Austin, Lowell, Knoxville, Chattanooga, Eugene,

Portland, Houston, Vegas, Tulsa, La Jolla. Go to Trey, T-R-A-E, Crowder.com to get tickets. And also check out the podcast. He's got two of them. One is called the Well Read W-E-L-L-R-E-D podcast. The other one is called putting on airs. And you know, you put a lot of great material out there. I'm glad things are going so well for you. Very happy for you. We share an agent.

We do. Yes, we do. Who we love. Valentine, Slute. Yeah. But no, yeah, no, I mean, I'm a big fan and have been for a long time. I mean, I was a, you know, a comedy nerd before I ever even started, and I think still am. Yeah. So I've been a, you know, fan of yours for a long time, and I appreciate you having me. Nice to hear, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. All right. God bless. All right. Thank you. and and and and

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