supermegashow - A Grown Man's Hand In Ryan's Mouth | supermegashow - 021

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

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And now, the end is near, and so I face my final Sir curtain, I didn't even start did you think that the actual lyric was circus in my head? Yeah Final well my final circus. I don't know the song that well. There's like an elephant noise in the back of the song It's it's about the last performance of uh the the Ringley Brothers Yeah, they shut down by the way, so you can thank Woke America for that. We almost had the last stand-up special by Donald J. Trump happen over, uh, was it like two days ago? We almost lost a man very dear to us.

It's not a, we're a bit late because we're recording this, like the week of, but we have podcasts backlogged sometimes, especially since I'm about to head on a big old missions trip for a week. I'm excited. If you remember the story of back when I took a missions trip to North Dakota, I think it was North Dakota. Me and those wonderful Christian boys and girls painted this person's house, I think it was an indigenous person's house, mustard yellow with a sage green roof. And I thought I'd make it right.

So I'm going back and just by myself, I'm gonna go paint that house again. In the name of God. And I know they appreciate that too, because it's gonna take about a week just cause, you know. Yeah, I mean it's painting a whole house by yourself. I wanna see Rushmore as well and that's close by. Right, and when you first told that story about how, you know know you were in the youth group and you guys were doing a good deed and

the children including you got to pick the color of the house and you guys picked the mustard yellow but it wasn't until we talked about it told that story that people pointed out you know that's an ugly color so it's been weighing on you heavily for a couple years. Yeah. But I'm really proud of you making this step to go make things right. I appreciate it. Long story on you heavily for a couple years. Yeah But I'm really proud of you making this step to to go make things right. I appreciate long story short You know, we're backlogging shit. It's a business, you know We're making we're we're we're making the content for you guys to consume and there's only one way that's gonna happen And sometimes it's for us to backlog so we can become less

Not less so we can become more free to edit sketches, to work on other things for the channel. That's the biggest problem I find with doing the variety channel SuperMega has always been keeping a steady flow of kind of like entertainment content, kind of like sprinkled. So there's- Like podcast and let's play stuff.

Stream highlights and there's a lot of time that goes into like recording that and like days where it's just like, okay, we're gonna come in, record like two episodes of the podcast or something, but then, you know, that episode comes out that like that week, the next one comes out next week. By next week, we're already behind it. We need to to record another episode which means that we get behind on some other stuff just juggling all of the

Responsibilities is not something that you and I have perfected, but we are on our way We have a calendar yeah that we've been whiteboard calendar. I'm proud of us recently We've been consistently using the whiteboard calendar. That's right. And I know in the overall YouTube industry, you and I are known for like professionalism when it comes to business. Timeliness. Timeliness. So we're just trying to be even better. So, you know, we're working out the time management stuff, but I was going to ask, did you, have you picked a new color for the house? Did you pick a new color for the house yet?

How about the episode I return, I show off a picture of that house. Okay, I'm excited. And all of my hard work. Let's just say it's a little more than just a color, but that's all I'm gonna say. Okay, I'm sure also there's plenty of you right now just sinking your face into your hands going

God are they really talking about the Donald Trump assassination attempt over a week later? I know yes, we are we we got distracted from that topic to to bitch moan complained and give excuses to you But now we're back with Trump. Yeah, we're gonna bitch, moan, and complain. Not excuse. I'm gonna bitch and moan about your aim, Ryan. Your aim was sloppy there. I saw your tweet where it was like, what did it say? I said, did not realize it was loaded. My bad, or something like that.

I love that that tweet of yours performed well. And then you tweeted a second time with an even more hilarious joke and it got even more likes. You were so popular this weekend, dude. All over for the almost, almost assassination of Donald Trump. Just the regular one. The regular Donald Trump.

Not Junior. It wouldn't have been big news if it was junior No, I'm captain the head it would have been like oops well It would have been big news for you and me because we know him personally yeah, but sure you know that's the first time a tweet of mine has performed well and in months because You know people are gonna say this is cope. Okay. It's not cope. Once the algorithm changed on Twitter, it is so much harder to consistently get bangers. And this weekend was an easy time for bangers.

Cope. Calling it out, cope. Okay. Big old cope. Well, there's a famous, very famous tweet. See, I don't even have to tweet. Yeah, I know. I do, though, for my self-esteem.

So there's a very famous tweet where this guy got visited by the Secret Service for a joke tweet about wearing like a suicide vest when the IRS shows up to his door. And the tweet is just a picture of two federal agents standing in his kitchen with his tweet printed out on paper. So I just Photoshopped my tweet in place of that one and it performed well. The original poster of the tweet called me a fraud so that

it ruined my weekend. Wait, the guy who originally got called out? Yes, he retweeted it and he said, these frauds man. Annie replied to the tweet and said these frauds man. What? And then... Do you think he was, so like he's legit, he was actually just upset. He seemed to actually upset as thinking I was, I guess he thought I was actually trying to pass off his picture as my own. And.

So he just wasn't, he was born without a funny bone, unfortunately. I guess so. There are some people who, and I don't want to make fun of them, and I don't want to call too much attention to it because it is, while it's not a physical deformity, it's like a deformity of the conscience, the mind.

Yeah, it's a deformity of like, I would even say like the essence of what being human is. Yeah, so unfortunately there are those who were born without the funny bone. He was one of them. Yeah, and you know, he had some buddies or I'm assuming they were buddies. A lot of blue check marks replying. Calling me out one guy said... For fake news? He showed a screenshot of a you know he showed a screenshot of the original tweet and he said you will never be the goat and I got 3,000 likes and I wasn't gonna have that I

responded and I said let's just say that's not what your mother said last night you didn't respond yeah I did you did you say exactly I said let's just say that's not what your mother said last night did they respond yeah very very angry and then there was another there was another super mega viewer that basically took over the fight from that point on. For you. Yeah, and they were telling him, they were like,

because the guy responded to me with a picture of. The original tweet. Well no, but then after I said that, he responded with a picture of his tweet, and then my response, circling the likes to show that his had more likes. Did it have more like it did? Yeah, and then someone replied you get I did get ratio by a blue check by a do nothing like they were nobody

It's a blue check mark. They're a stranger though. Yeah, and Their account were they like some political commentator was no some dude No, just some blue check mark, dude. And what happened after that was this viewer said to them You obviously photoshopped that that's so lame and he said no I didn't I hope your cat dies you effing arse lure and then I responded and I said this dude really thinks we won't notice that he photoshopped the likes on his own tweet. Come on, man. And uh. So you're just fucking with him. It's fun, it's fun. I mean, I will say like, back when I used to peruse and post on Twitter, I would get in some altercations.

Some spats. With some more than not right wing people. It was usually typically like, I do something as callous and heinous as making fun of a billionaire on a social media platform they own. You know, where, I don't know. And people seem to not like it. I was very crude though in my verbiage. If I remember, weren't you, you were on a vacation and you would have some drinks when you made that tweet,

right? Yes, yes. Don't worry, it's okay, I have my fair share of very embarrassing drunken tweets. Very embarrassing drunken tweets. And the internet's forever. So, yeah, I have been contemplating more and more giving up Twitter.

It feels nice, I will say. I've heard, I've, and more giving up Twitter. It feels nice. Yeah, I've heard. I've heard. And I look at Twitter way too much and I've found that it just feels bad. It feels like it just clouds my mood and my day. And the more I check it, the more I want to check it. And after Elon Musk took over Twitter,

and I'm not saying this is a result of him specifically, but I feel like it has gotten so much more negative, like overall, just, it's always been a complete shit. It's turned into like a very toxic cesspool. Like when people make fun of, I'm not saying like Twitter used to be like a bastion of, Well now it's a bastion of a good old page. Well now it's a bastion of free speech.

Sure, yeah. But I just feel like it has definitely took a turn into, I would say, just it's more vulgar. There's more things that come across people's timelines that people have told me where it's just like it's like violence and like a bunch a lot of violence and sex are being promoted to people which I feel like typically like maybe in the old days if you were getting like that stuff suggested it's probably because you were looking at a shit ton of it you're looking right like you're looking at stuff in that gore right and then boobies lesbian boobs which are which look a little different than straight boobs as a straight man I can tell when

I look at them it's definitely there's there's there's something there that's different but but now it seems for some reason apparently that it's almost like the worst person's for you page has become everyone's for you page. That is so... this. So much this, Ryan. Because... That's what it sounds like at least. No, 100%. Because I use Twitter and I just look at the stuff on my for you page. I'm not like going and searching up anything controversial or anything. And for example, I get a video of a woman just being brutally beaten by two men and she's like begging them to stop. They're beating her. And the caption is like, what y'all think

she did to deserve this? And it had like 90,000 likes. And then I get recommended legitimate racism all the time. I'll get legitimately racist memes. And what's worse though is not even racist memes. I get legitimately racist tweets. And when I say racist, I'm not being a little- You're not liking any racist tweets, right? To get those recommended to you.

I know likes are hidden now, so. No, I wouldn't like anything. There's plausible deniability. And when I'm not I know likes are hidden now. So no, I wouldn't like anything And there's plausible deniability and when I'm saying racist tweets, I'm not I'm not being a sensitive snowflake here I'm talking about tweets talking about how an entire ethnic group is You know thieves and Inherently liars and violent so I'm getting that kind of stuff. I Don't want to get into it. It's always the white people. They're always thieves and murderers.

When will the racism stop? I don't know if it ever will, Ryan. Rise up, Cracker Army. Cracker Nation. What's up, Cracker Nation? Here we go for like the the third Kotaku article. It's like YouTubers youtuber group super mega asked their white fan base to quote in quotes rise up after assassination to attempt on Donald Trump right Ask their audience which they refer to as cracker nation to rise up Days after the attempted assassination of Donald J. Trump Yeah up days after the attempted assassination of Donald J. Trump. Yeah, I did see someone Photoshop a very realistic Kotaku headline of us after the previous episode

where we talked about a fake Kotaku article. And I will say, when I saw it, it gave me my heart skipped a beat. Did you see that? Where it's like YouTubers demand their fan base scream the N-word in public. It was saying like we're in hot water after this new challenge where we have our fans yelling N-word. And it looked pretty real.

And I was like, oh, okay, I see. Sounded pretty real too. Well, we shouldn't have done a whole meetup days after releasing that episode because it probably wasn't the best time for a fan meetup, you know days after releasing that episode Probably wasn't the best time for a fan meetup. No, no, no, and I get it They're trying to be in on of the joke But as we discussed in one of our previous podcast some people are more inclined not to understand social cues or jokes and stuff So yeah, I could see why a few people might have thought we were serious. It doesn't make it. Okay

Well, it by any stretch of by any stretch of the statement or whatever. It doesn't make it okay. You can understand that it wasn't our fault. Yes, and I think that if anyone actually blames you and I, then that's a low IQ move because when we say, oh, we're going to do a challenge where our fans have to yell the N word as loud as they can. Obviously that's a joke. And when we did the fan meetup, it was almost like a domino effect where once one person did it, it just kind of just set off almost an exponential growth of everyone else doing

it until it was like a flock of seagulls, of racist seagulls. No luckily it was like, you know, because as you said, it was a domino effect. You couldn't really make out exactly what they were saying in unison. After about- Because it was- Eight seconds, yeah. Like think of someone saying plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, plant,

but like, you know, it's, so, I don't know, there was still a public disturbance charge that was levied and a hate crime. Which we're working on getting the hate crime when dismissed. Yeah. Or instigating a hate crime, I guess, was what it technically said.

But that's boring stuff, you know? That's just, yeah, I don't really wanna talk about that. But what I do wanna talk about are the- The bullet zipping past Donald Trump's head There was a photo didn't just sit past Ryan It gave him a little on the ears one that zipped past then there was one that nicked him in the year It's one that gave him a little kiss on the ear and went hello went by

God, I don't know why like when that happened I was just kind of like when I I saw that, you texted me. I was crying. You were crying in tears and you texted me. You texted me and it happened and I didn't believe you at first just because everything is so crazy. Am I not believable?

You're not a trustworthy person from the start. You lie through your teeth all the time. But in this particular case especially, I was like, there's no way. There's no fucking way. Someone, someone, there was, because this is a conversation you and I have had in a past episode, I'm sure, where I think I question like why hasn't there been any quote-unquote historically recent assassination attempts on a president. Because like, sure sure security is heightened

but technology is also heightened and that's I think we also got into a conversation about oh I could see someone strapping a drone with like a bomb or a gun or something and doing some sort of machining that way like the fear of like a more like the progression of terror attacks yeah yeah more creative yeah more more creative sure Yeah, more creative, sure. Creative is not a good word. You know what I mean. They think outside the box, but not in like an innovative way.

Yeah. Just keep going. Yeah. That was a bad choice. I'm just getting a sip. Has nothing to do with me trying to figure out a but......figure out a way out of... The former president almost was... ...was iced.

Yeah, but like, we've had this conversation, I think it's... ...it's actually pretty insane how long we've gone... ...without like, an assassination attempt or... ...you know, people are gonna say, oh, assassination attempts happen all the time, you just don't hear about them because they're unsuccessful and they're Trump, you know, they're, hey. They're Trumped. They get Trumped every time. Yeah, they get Trumped. But, cause like, I don't know.

It's weird that in that discussion, we were talking about like the technology that was maybe preventing it from happening. But at the end of the day, it was just some 20-year-old jumped up on a roof and took a rifle and started shooting. With like an iron sight rifle. There was no intense planning.

There was no, I don't know how to explain it. This is exactly what would have happened decades ago. Yeah, it's literally like JFK. It's just a rifle from a high up vantage point. But nobody, was it the grassy knoll? You know, more like the assy knoll. What do you think about that one? That was pretty good.

Do I need to work on it? It's all right. Can I replace knoll with something? Hole? Okay, the assy hole. There it is, there it is. Okay. He got blown away on the assy hole.

Okay, okay. Jacksepticeye. Gay FK, Gay F Gay. Got blown away by P farty Osballs on the assy hole. Was that good? And a lot of people suggest that maybe it was actually the PI gay instead of P fart. Oh, but like could you believe it when they assassinated? Like when they announced it on the news? I wasn't done with my joke. Oh, when they announced... Like how many times like how many times did you have

to check to see from what source you were reading this from? Well- Or was it like, oh damn, that happened. I got on my phone, I got a news alert that said, it was like, former President Trump rushed off stage at Pennsylvania event after loud noises heard. Which I don't understand why they don't ever use, I get it.

Well, it was so early on still. This was like minutes after, so they didn't know what was going on. Do you see those I get it. Well, it was so early on still this was like minutes after so they didn't know what was Going on. Do you see those posts where it's like Elon Musk even quote retweeted one of them where it's like This is what the the news is feeding you like saying like they're yeah You a false narrative where it's like a bunch of headlines that say Donald Trump was rushed off stage due to loud popping noises, right? I don't think that that was a them trying to get away from the fact that there was a gun.

I think it's, this just happened, it's breaking news. They can't solidify facts. They can't. Like there's a shooting or an assassination attempt without, cause like I'm sure the news, like I'm sure people have been caught before, not caught before, but it's happened where it's like, gunshots were heard and it's like, oh, it's local fireworks.

Okay, we need to retract that, blah, blah, blah. And yeah, I mean, these are big news organizations that I know some might laugh at this, but it's like they need to verify sources before they publish something. And in a race for everyone to publish something, you don't wanna be the one person that says it's gunshots when it's not,

because then it looks really bad on you. So they have to verify it first. I wish that things wouldn't rush so quickly with the news cycle. I wish they would wait to get facts first. First to hear it, it doesn't matter. Yeah, but basically it said the loud noises thing and then I saw videos on Twitter and I was like,

oh shit, he's ducking down. And then I saw blood and I was like, wait, he must have hit himself when he went down? Like when the Secret Service tackled him right they cut his ear or something I And then when I saw that it was like he got nicked by a bullet. I was like oh, holy shit You saw the diagram yeah, I don't even know if that's real I mean like if that regardless like factual the bullet was like an inch from his head

So we were very close to another, a very different podcast episode today. And I hate to fucking admit it. I, you know me. I hate, and you probably hate to admit it too, that is a badass political photo. The picture is very badass. That like, he secured the election with that picture. I think so, unfortunately. I think, I think it's a very big juxtaposition between a current sitting president bumbling through his words and failing at the debate. Like a big public spectacular failure to where Obama had to tweet about it and a bunch of political people had to come tweet about it. Oh yeah. And then of course it wasn't ambiguous. And then put that up next to which a lot of people of

course doing with like Donald Trump like a rock star with his fist in the air after an assassination attempt. And I'm not and I'm not trying to be like oh he deserves to be president cuz that's so badass. I don't want anyone to misconstrue what I'm saying. I'm just saying, looking at things, one president looks more quote unquote tough than the other and through history, people seem to want to vote a president in who is like either tough or charismatic from the past.

And unfortunately to his base, he's very charismatic. I meant not even to his base. He's a very fun individual to watch babble. He says the darnedest things. Look at why SNL and all these news programs, and not even, sorry, fuck the news programs. That's why SNL or just like anybody within comedy has a field day with shit that he says.

It's because it's so goofy and out there and zany and stupid and ridiculous. And yes, a lot of the time it's hurtful, but I don't think that really comes into play. He's never really thinking of like, oh shit, I shouldn't hurt these people. So we gotta leave some of the criticisms at bay because some of these criticisms

people are never gonna fucking give a shit about. Yeah. Well it's like, if, I guess from like a middle American voter perspective, you see how old the current president is, and then you see the other guy survive an assassination attempt where he's got his fist in the air,

the American flag behind him, it's pointing up at him like he's a god. He's got blood all over his face. Not saying it's propaganda, but like. It works as great propaganda. I guess what I'm saying is like, I don't think that it was like staged by the Republican party to make him look better

as like some people were like, at first like, it's fake, it's a it's a it's a It's a stunt in my head. I'm like there's I Get it. We don't want we don't want this reality to exist where Or certain people don't wear a candidate that they don't like and they they see as harmful is then Propagated up as some like martyr essentially. I mean he's not, he didn't die, he got clipped. Tell that to his ear, Ryan.

Okay, well it's just like, what was I saying? You don't want, you were saying propaganda martyr. Those are words. Dude did we both just get hit with some kind of like sonic weapon that like fried our brains and completely, it's them. Okay. It's the Republicans. They just hit us with a supersonic weapon.

And inside Matt's brain while I'm talking, blah blah blah, blah blah blah. No I was fully listening, but when you said what was I saying, I also just suddenly blanked out. Kind of like when you're trying to think of dinner, you're like, what do I want? And then you can't think of it because of a, there's a term for it where it's like there's so many options you can't decide, like it's too much for your brain To like me information overload sure why not over stimulation? Yeah, you know your mother gave me a little over stimulation last night I'm just kidding nice really yeah, that's good. Thanks, man. Not as good as these ad reads though. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"]

Welcome back from the ad reads everyone. Matt told a funny joke about my mom. And I don't think he got the round of applause he deserved. Or wanted. Thank you I really appreciate that because usually when I hit you with a your mom joke We got to leave room for the applause buddy. Oh, yeah, yeah through the applause put it that's very rude Especially people are very congratulatory of your joke. I know Luke just put it here Your mom also said it was long last night. Let the, let it finish because they couldn't cut me.

Okay, for those who couldn't tell because there was a lot of cheering. Matt made another your mom joke that I think the crowd unfortunately was so loud and from from cheering or laughter yelling I can't really tell a whole slew of it. Would you mind saying that again? Sure, sure. You looked at me we were both a little surprised by how long the applause was lasting for and we both kind of at the same time said it's long. Yeah. And then there even we paused and I said that's what your mother said to me last perfect Wow thanks guys that's that that that brightened my day. It should make you feel better. It does it does And I got I got it I got to be real with you man

I forgot to mention It's we're 30 minutes in and I forgot to mention the elephant in the room The bandages on my face So people are probably watching this up to this point going, what the fuck? He's, ew. Yeah, but every now and then you do have your eras where you just have patches on your face. Yeah. Like the one time you had a cyst on your face.

Well, this is related to that actually. It's kind of like, it's the scar tissue relating to the surgery that helped with the cyst, and now this is a surgery that's helping with the scar tissue that was left over from the cyst. Yeah, I have two bandages on the side of my face that faces the camera and the reason the bandages are there is because there's an incredibly massive bruise here and then here is it there's like a very bright red fucking area because little super mega throwback, but in the super mega goes to E3 2019 video, Noob Dude had a disgustingly large zit on his face.

It was in character. Yeah, and it was actually great. It fit perfectly, because when you look at that character, and you see this, almost like that character from Fairly Oddparents, Boyle. It was like that. And it wasn't just an exit though, it was cystic acne.

And I'm sure many of you viewers and listeners have dealt with cystic acne, and you've seen our fans. And it was really, really bad. And I had to get it surgically cut out of my face. And it left quite the scar that has only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I went to a dermatologist and she goes, they cut it out of your face and it left quite the scar that has only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I went to a dermatologist and she goes, they cut it out of your face? I'm so sorry that happened to you.

They should never have done that. And she was like in disbelief that that happened. So they did the, they did a thing where they just like stuck needles under my skin, broke up the scar tissue, injected it with this type of collagen stimulating thing, and then lasered this other part of your neck. You're gonna go to your next doctor and they're gonna be like, wait, you allowed them to fix the scar tissue from the cyst? Oh, fuck.

That scar tissue was very beneficial for the skin and for the area of healing. We gotta put the cyst back in and- They still have it saved. Do they? Yeah, they just set it aside in a little cooler just in case they eat it. It's been half a decade, but you never know when you might need that cyst again. Yeah, when men get snipped. They save all the sperm.

They drain the sperm. Yeah, they drain all the sperm. That's leftover and then they save it. So if they want to have a child again after they've been snipped, they can sew it back up. They save all the souls of the little unborn children that were stored in this ball sack before all this took place. And they pour them back in. Which you can't have it reversed. You can't have vasectomies reversed. You can't have whatever the other one for vaginas is called. Yeah, you can hysterectomy? What's the vagina one called?

Pussy, tube tying. But dudes, get the little snip, you can have that reversed. They snip your vas deferens. Yeah, they do. And. Yeah, they do. And then women, it's hysterectomy? No, hysterectomy is the full removal of your uterus.

Yeah. I don't know anything about female anatomy. Except for where the clitoris is at the bottom of the vagina, between the vagina and the butthole. Took us a while to figure that out, but let's just say moans of pleasure last night kind of steered us in the right direction Matt and I were both at a brothel together I just want to a brothel with hot babes it was a business with hot babes from ages 40 to 60 yes exclusively 40 to 60 the clientele it's hard for them to get young young people in there just because of only fans has taken up

Right, I mean the clientele, but I appreciate traditional. You know type of type of things. We're supporting traditional media brothels exactly Support a traditional pussy. Yeah, exactly none of that none of that neo pussy that that that neo sex type type shit those those those 3d printed Vaginas that people are using nowadays. Oh god. Ew doesn't even look like a vagina How do you like I'm gonna look up a 3d printed vagina? You know what's crazy. It's not even good um What I It's not even gonna... What? I've been drinking a lot of water. I need to use the restroom real quick. Okay, don't take too long

Well, hopefully Ryan will be back in a moment and You know Kind of need to also pee. So we're gonna take a quick break. We're not going to ads though. Not this time. No, no, no. We're going to go to something else. What it is right now, I'm not quite sure.

But here it is. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there's nothing, yeah, those pussies don't look that good. Yeah. You okay though? Yeah. Yeah. That could be better. Were you const...

Do you have a UTI maybe? I heard grunting when you were in there and I don't know if passing... I just think my colon is having issues again, I think. Oh, okay. So, I think it was just- Yeah, it just sounded like you were in a lot of pain. Yeah. And heavy breathing and stuff.

I appreciate you looking after me, but... No need. I'm all good. You know? Well... That's a lie. Why? Look, you were brave enough to come out about your face thing. Disgusting little face thing, whatever, whatever it was called again, a cyst? Cystic fibrosis or something?

No, not cystic fibrosis. That kills you at like 30. Hahaha. It's where your lungs make too much mucus. Fuck. I thought I should finally come clean about why I'm... People have noticed that I might be talking slightly different than normal, which I don't think I am. I haven't noticed. Through any stretch.

But today... I went... Wait, wait, wait. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I think... I think fuck it at this point. Why not? Like open and honest, right? Yeah. Open and honest discussions lead to growth.

Yeah. I went to the dentist today. And I got two fillings. Right over here and I hate to say it I let the dentist fingers inside of my mouth that's not the worst part it was a male dentist. And I know, I know, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Like I like men's fingers in my mouths. I don't. But if but this is just something that's going to come out. There are a lot of people in the office, there are other people that could come out. And people should know at this point, there's no sense in

hiding it. But I went to the dentist and got two fillings. And I might have had a man's fingers in my mouth. Maybe multiple men's fingers in my mouth. They might have been blowing air and stuff into my mouth as well. Listen, you don't have to be ashamed. Okay? And I haven't told you this, but fuck it. Last week I had the same thing happen to me.

I went to the dentist and I had a temporary crown taken off and replaced with a permanent crown and there were two men's hands in my mouth for multiple minutes. I think a lot of us have had a man's hands, a professional man's hands in our mouth and I think even our audience there's, I mean put in the comment section below if you've had a, if you've had a grown man's hands inside of your mouth, maybe, maybe two man's hands all at once, as in not two man hands, as in one belonging to one man and then the other hand belonging to another man. Right, right. Sometimes there are three to four hands in my mouth at a time.

Well, for me... And the assistant was male too. See, yeah, that's... I was laying there and there was a... you know, they made me wear these sunglasses. Did they make you put the sunglasses on? Really? So there was just bright light in your face then nothing could do? They just said, look up and don't blink and I did They said it's the help. It's the help the numbing agent I didn't know how that helped me staring into the bright light helped but I wasn't gonna question him

He's a he's a medical professional. Yeah, did I go to school for 20 years to learn anything about this stuff? No No, I'm gonna trust my doctor, you know for 20 years to learn anything about this stuff? No. No, I'm gonna trust my doctor. You know, it's normal to have a man's hand in your mouth. It's normal. That's what we're getting at here, okay? Like no one should be ashamed of that. In fact, if there were more people that wanted to in the comment section below talk about their experiences of having a man's hand inside of their mouth, then maybe that would make me and Matt feel a little more welcome. Not saying you have to because I know that experience isn't the best for others. My least favorite

part is instead of, you know usually at the end of a dentist appointment they go okay you're all good. Mm-hmm. Like the typical okay you're we're all good. And you get the lollipop usually? Yeah, except they just gave me a raspberry. What? And not like the fruit. Oh. They both took turns giving me raspberries on my tummy.

Oh, on your tummy? On my stomach. They were both taking turns. Who has fillings? And I went, I do, I do. Who's gonna give us a $50 tip? I went, I can't, I can't, because it's expensive. Right.

It's expensive. And we don't have dental insurance. And I noticed that they kept going. It was like, no, no, maybe that $50 tip. I'm like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, stops, OK, OK, OK. And then I ended up. Did you get the $50 tip? Yeah, they have it.

So yeah, I gave them a $50 tip and left with zero lollipops in hand. But still the feelings of the men's fingers in my mouth. So at this point... Which a dentist shouldn't... No, a dentist should never go in your mouth. Right? There's tools for that. A dentist should never put his fingers in your mouth. I see all the tools they have lined up.

You're telling me one of those tools doesn't help with should never put his fingers in your mouth. I see all the tools they have lined up. You're telling me one of those tools doesn't help with not getting their hands inside of your mouth? Imagine going to the dentist. And he has to do a procedure, just no tools, just hands with no gloves, just starts going in and wiggling the tooth and scraping it with his fingernail. Like, we're gonna get that cavity taken care of. Dude, the fucking, cleaning scraping it with his fingernail. Like, where do you get that cavity taken care of?

Dude, the fucking, cleaning the teeth with a fingernail instead of a tool, oh God. The fucking, the raspberries on the tummy. Like, all right, you're all good. Pfft. Stop! Who's got feelings? Who's got feelings?

Me, me! Who's gonna get a little $50 tip? You are, you are, hee hee hee. I do love the lollipops. Was that a good scene? That was a fantastic scene. I thought it was a good little trip. The lollipops are great.

I can't really think about lollipops right now. Well, I get frustrated that every single time, it's like every time I get one, it's like the dentist has to be an asshole and remind me that, you know, you know that there's a dentist for adults too and you know you'd fit in the chair better and I don't know he's just he always I like my dentist I've liked him since I was a kid I don't know why.

How are you going to keep the high score on Frogger if you change dentists? And every time I go in they're playing Ice Age 2 on the TV. One of your favorites. And also they have a little like play. In fact if I remember last time sorry, but yeah Yeah, if I remember last time two dentist appointments ago you actually missed the appointment Entirely because you got so so engulfed in ice age two yeah I showed up and I was actually Diego's storyline you love Diego's storyline in ice age two

Yeah, and also all the scenes with uh... Scrat? Scrat. You know when he's trying to get that freaking acorn. Yeah. I literally sat through my entire appointment just in the waiting room watching Ice Age. You were not a manny stan for Ice Age 2. You loved him in Ice Age. Ice Age 2 I just felt like they just changed his character too much. You know? But Sid was fine? Sid's always great.

But Diego's your favorite? Diego's obviously my favorite. Well, tied with Scrat. But they have like a playpen area too. You know, Drake and Josh got to be in an Ice Age movie. What? Drake and Josh got to be in an Ice Age movie. And so did Nicki Minaj.

And Queen Latifah. All in the same scene. And Drake! Really? I think he voiced a mammoth? voted Nicki Minaj and Queen Latifah. All in the same scene. And Drake. Really? I think he voiced a mammoth. Maybe I'm wrong. I think Drake voiced, I'd never, let me, let's see.

You don't want to get any Drake facts wrong, dude, because the Drake Army is out in full force right now. And if you get a Drake fact wrong, they're coming for your ass. He did not voice a mammoth in Ice Age 2 yeah he did he uh he voiced the character Ethan god-awful name think about this dude Aubrey Grammoth hmm okay that sounds a bit better right than Ethan yeah they should they should.

He doesn't strike me as an Ethan. No not at all. He's a cool dude and I think that Aubrey Grammoth, because it rhymes with mammoth, would have worked a lot better than Ethan. Yes. There's a character on Lost named Ethan and he's the biggest fucking dweeb. It's actually played by Tom Cruise's cousin who looks like Tom Cruise with fetal alcohol syndrome. That's the best way I could describe the way he looks. Sounds a bit mean, but... It is a bit mean and if Tom Cruise's cousin that plays Ethan on Lost is watching this,

I would like to formally extend an apology for what I just said. It's not just him coming after you. I wonder if Tom Cruise got his whole family involved. Scientology is what I'm referring to. Yeah, I don't want to make any jokes about Scientology on this episode and actually I don't think... Also we need to, very important, use the transcript website thing to search the channel for any mention of Scientology in the past because we need to wipe that

like today. I'm in some trouble. I'm in some shit Well, then we should probably Let's go to ads real quick Yeah, but like I was saying, there was like a dead cat strung up by the neck outside my front door and Scientology, they like sending messages but we should get back into the podcast now. Is that the group that was throwing poop at your window? Yes, human poop I can tell.

I tasted it to complete. Or are they just squatting, scooping and throwing? I saw one of the guys doing that and they had a t-shirt with my face on it calling me a traitor. Is that the guy you said looked oddly similar to John Travolta? Yeah, but there's no way. Right? There's no way he would know. I know he's a Scientologist, but I don't I feel like he's more of a Scientologist for show and I don't know if he really gets involved in that side of Scientology.

I personally, real quick, don't know anyone who would be a Scientologist for show. You know, who thinks... It makes your image look great. Makes me look good. Makes me look like a devout, religious, beautiful... I don't know. Makes me look smart, you know? I know about science. I'm a Scientologist. Yep. When I tell people I'm a Scientologist, I watch their facial expression go to... they go... You know scientists around the globe were just like, God, why do they choose that name? Damn it.

Fuck. I like that. Well, now scientists are being the scientists in general science in general as a subject is being proven to be a religion by none other than Candace Owens. Thank you. Thank you, Candace, for saying what we were all thinking. And Eminem just dropped a new album and he directly disses Candice Owens in it. I have to say you may not, I'm talking to you directly not like you guys may not like you know

I'm talking to you Matt Watson. To me? To Matt Watson? Okay yeah. You may not like his album but I was reading some of the stuff and he still can write really fun entertaining lyrics. Granted I didn't hear any of these performed. I was just reading the lyrics sheet from his new album, but he still looks... it still looks like he has a ton of fun in the writers room. I don't know. Let me... I would just hate to be Christopher Reeves this week. He disses Christopher Reeves on every single track. Christopher Reeves and Caitlyn Jenner. Every song mentions them. I listened to the whole thing when it came

out. Caitlyn Jenner of course, that makes sense. I don't know what Christopher Reeves did. Because she killed someone. Right, but I think Christopher Reeves maybe dissed Eminem before he passed. There's no way Christopher, like you can't have a beef with Superman. No dude, the entire thing is making fun of Christopher Reeves being a quadriplegic.

It was a horsing accident. I know, and there's a part when he says something about Christopher Reeves' luck, and there's like a horse in the background, like, mm, it dude, it's crazy. That sounds fun to me. He died 20 years ago. Sounds like a fun album.

So actually one of the tracks is from 20 years ago dissing Christopher Reeves and Christopher Reeves died before it dropped so he had to shelve it because he was like I'm not going to release it now that he died. And now? Now it's out. And listen, the album has got some themes and some tones but overall, I... Is it a goofy fun time? It's very goofy. That's all I expect out giggle is it a goofy fun time it's very goofy

and I always expect that M&M is a goofy fun time specifically the the you know just several minutes into the album starts a song with fuck blind people deaf people suck and so to cripples dumb quadriplegic fucks I'm Christopher Reeves is luck I'm guessing the point of a lot of these lyrics is Trying to get canceled. I try to get canceled, but it also seems like he's doing like the kind of Retrospective of the old Slim Shady. It's about like he's he's killing him because it doesn't work in this in today's climate Yeah, yeah, but I think is a good idea for an album, especially since his songs like They're not clean like his songs like I need there are these people people dog on him

Cuz he cuz he has that corny kind of like ah Yeah, yeah, you know, I just that too. He has that like cornyness but like his songs were never for like the the faint of heart. It was always getting, I would say, like Fox News or the like kind of like up in arms. Not even that, not even within their own industry, he was starting beef with everyone.

Everyone, yeah. But Christopher Reeves is probably rolling over in his grave this week and that was if he brought his wheelchair that was a completely unintentional pun and I'm act we both came to the same point I'm very proud of us for that one that was pretty good yeah like that come on Luke maybe a little applause for that one that one I think the applause should be awarded to me since I was the one that took the successful you anyone can lay up a basketball but to dunk it takes a lot of skill

But I was I was going to you notice I paused when I said rolling for emphasis Yeah, but like then you're just setting yourself up for your own joke. It seems a little callous and good and selfish Especially when it's a duo pot, then you did a great job. I know I know That's why there's an applause going on right now. It has been since we asked for one. Yes. I wish it would stop but Luke you don't even like it's a long one you can just cut it just cut it here. Thank you. Wow it's still going really quietly isn't it? Yeah just actually actually all the way off like not even volume on delete delete the audio like blade and then delete the audio clip

So it's still stay, you know played blade Love him Dude but it's uh, you know what that means what blade in Premiere Sure Adobe Premiere. Yeah, okay when you it's the cutting tool. Okay. And you want to cut- I was making sure Sometimes. Just I've been editing for over a decade and I- you teach me today about the blade tool like- What? I believe it. What the hell dude? Nothing, nothing. Never mind, dude. Dude, you're coming at me like Eminem with Christopher Reeves I'm coming at you like Matt's penis on Cecile's face

No, come on. It doesn't work when you do it. Why not? It only works when I do it when you do it It doesn't work. You could have you could have said it about yourself and my mom. It's still the same joke Yeah, but I already get those out of the way, you know, not for an audience. I do it to your face right, and it hurts my feelings every single time but I to do it to your face. Right, and it hurts my feelings every single time, but I bite my tongue and I, you know, hold it in because I'm a gentleman. And when you, you know, do it on the podcast,

you know, it's funny, it's comedy bits, but when you then take it upon yourself to make the jokes I'm supposed to be making, it's just not cool. It's jacking my swag. I, you got really boring and I lost track of what you were saying. Could you restart from the top?

Yeah. And it hurts my feelings every single time. But I bite my tongue and I hold it in because I'm a gentleman. And when you do it on the podcast, it's funny. It's comedy bits. But when you then take it upon yourself to make the jokes I'm supposed to be making, it's just not cool. OK, thank you.

Yeah. Here's a story for you. Now this is a story all about how my... You did the story. Okay, sorry. You did the story. Fuck. I was talking to someone last night about funeral,

visitation is what they're called, right? Mm-hmm. It's visitation? Yeah. Okay, because this person was telling me, my friend was like, it's not called that, it's called a viewing. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure visitation is a funeral term. I'm pretty sure they're like synonymous.

Yeah, yeah. I just remember. I could go to Google to double check for you if it would make you feel better. I don't wanna look like an idiot again. I feel like every single episode of supermega show so far I've looked like a fucking buffoon except for the first episode I looked very intelligent a

Visitation is a gathering of friends and family that usually takes place before a funeral to allow people to pay their respects and offer condolences visitations can also be called wakes or Viewings my friend is gonna fucking cry when I tell him. Your friend was just dead, just like didn't back down at all. No pun intended. Full force was just very snarky, like it's not kind of viewing, I mean it's not kind of visitation, it's awake and I was like why did I think visitation then? Like that was like burning in my brain, it's like no it's not kind of visitation. It's awake and I was like Why did I think visitation then like that was like burn into my brain?

It's like no, it's not called that and I dropped it there and I went okay wake and then I continued on with the Story that I and now you can come to him. There's three potential things that they can actually be called dumbass And you only say you only knew one of the three Mass. And you only say, you only knew one of the three. Fucking. And then say the R slur. Oh, I will. And also, they only knew the one that was the most, the only one syllable.

Like the easiest one for a baby to pronounce. Wake. Wake. Visitation is the hardest to pronounce. The most advanced. Viewing. Wake. Visitation.

Visitation. That's four syllables. Yep. And it starts with a very hard to pronounce letter. Visitation. That's four syllables. Yep. And it starts with a very hard to pronounce letter. Viewing. Letter. Wake. Wake.

A fucking, an animal could make that sound. I went to a wake. Whoever calls it a wake, pussy. Yeah, when I- It's a visitation. To me, wake is the big fucking waves I'm whipping up with my motorboat, you know? See the wake in the water.

Mm-hmm. And when they say no wake warning, the big fucking waves I'm whipping up with my motorboat. You know? You're awake in the water. Mm-hmm, and when they say no wake warning, like there's a no wake notice on the lake when I'm driving my boat, I just fucking step on it. Brrr, like a big old brrr, you know? Shit! Brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr, That wasn't my story. The story was, I had a memory last night of something that I've just. People have memories all the time, so it's not that rare of an occurrence.

But this is rare for me. Okay. After Creator Clash, I stopped having those. And this is the first one that's happened in a while. And it was a story that my mom had told me. And I've always just, I remember hearing it and thinking it was weird at the time, but I've never really thought more on it until last night

when I really realized how not normal I think this is. And the, for reference, the conversation began because I was talking about taxidermy. So, my mom knew someone way back in the day My mom knew someone way back in the day whose son was killed in a drug deal gone wrong. College aged guy. Did they stuff him and fluff him? Well, my mom went to the visitation and was surprised to show up at, this visitation was more of like a celebration

instead of like a very sad thing. My mom walks in and she sees all of his friends and family members there and then she sees him also there sitting up in a chair with sunglasses on. The body had literally been like taxidermied for this, sitting up in a chair in the middle of the room. It's a lot of work to dress a body for a funeral.

Mm-hmm, so I was just really thinking about that a lot last night and I was like, that is really not normal, is it? What? Like, there's wakes where the casket will be open and you can see their face, but this is like a party situation, no casket, where he is sitting up in a chair like he's alive with sunglasses on to cover up the fact that his eyes are.

I feel like I've seen some people where it's like, they'll do up the body, not in a disrespectful way, but it'll be like, oh look, he's sitting in his favorite chair like they'll bring like the grandfather's favorite chair that he always normal I've I've never heard of it. I If I went to an event, I wouldn't be comfortable Personally with a dead body of somebody you know Just chilling and like a like a lazy boy with sunglasses on and feet kicked up with some some Nike shoes on but it because I've I've been to two funerals with an open casket mm-hmm and they're you know they're never you know they got they

got some nice cute little blush on their eyelashes are all straight you know they look gorgeous right especially the red blush, my grandmother had such a, it was a fabulous shade. And most people couldn't see it because the arms are by the side, but they had painted the nails just a fabulous shade of pink. And I even, I reached in and I pulled my grandma's arm up so I could see the shade to show it off to my mom. And she's going, what are you doing? You know, there know there's you know she's full of formaldehyde you you

broke the arm off but I was young and it was a great shade yeah um seeing a dead body like that it has been preserved and fixed up for a visitation let that one go, are you? I'm really upset about it. The fact that he even interrupted your conversation to correct you. Yeah, it's like- Then knowing you were right all along. That must feel good though.

Yes, it feels amazing. I'm surprised you're not even texting this person right now. It's orgasmic. You're saving it for a call or maybe an in-person. Oh, in-person. I'm gonna save it for- So they can't fucking run. Next time I see them in person. Because they didn't need to correct me either because in- in person. Oh in person. I'm gonna save it for next time I see them in person because

They didn't need to correct me either because in and I guess who it is and he'll bleep it out. Yeah Of all people mm-hmm, and you know what he didn't need to correct me because You know if you're smart a speaker of the English language Contextual clues you know exactly what I'm talking. You might not be smart enough to understand that word. This person's not stupid. They're a learned person. Very learned, so. But how many funerals have they been to?

I don't think any. Right? Maybe one? Yeah. But anyway, seeing, like I remember seeing my grandma's about to be their own. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. When I smoke them. Yeah.

When I saw my grandma's body at her funeral in 2005, I just found it was so weird, because it looks like them, but it doesn't. Because something is very different now. And I remember touching my grandma's face. Probably wasn't supposed to do that. But I think you can lean down and kiss their hands. I'm not gonna get yelled at by like the funeral director like, hey!

No, because uh. No touching. Because uh, I don't know if they'd get mad. Hands off the merchandise. Because it's not their, it's property of the state at one point. When does it become property of the state? The moment they're deceased and it becomes a body? I think so. Doesn't it become property of the state at one point. When does it become property of the state? The moment they're deceased and it becomes a body? I think so.

Doesn't it become property of the state? I think it does. Because whose property, for a temporary time, because when the authorities have it, before it's turned over, I'm getting a phone call. Do you want to bet it's from my sister? Oh, look at that, it's from my sister. Oh wow. You want to answer it? Yep. sister? Oh, look at that. It's from my sister. Oh wow

You want to answer it? Yeah. Oh and the call just she okay. Oh, no, no, no, it's still going still going here Put on speaker Hello Excuse me? Hello? You have once again decided to call during a podcast recording and I can't help but think at this point that it's on purpose and you're trying to make us look foolish. I don't think you guys, do you guys do stuff on a regular interval? Do we do things on a regular interval? We're working day in day out, 9 to 5, 7 days a week. It's 7am right now. 7 o'clock, what do you mean? a week it's 7 a.m. right now see it is 7 o'clock yeah see where we're working overtime that's how hard we work we

worked all night we're doing two streams to make up this week so I know she kept up with us but anyways the only the only reason I'm answering the call is because Matt's solid was you went ugh and then handed the phone to me. So this is all I thought to do was at least give you some sort of reprimand for interrupting such a hilarious podcast and work. I can't do it myself.

Hi Sam, I'm I'm Ryan is more man than me as as as proven scientifically by testosterone levels, so he has to handle a lot of my Yes, I know your birthdays in two days yes, of course it's already in the mail I Know and your birthday was- I know and your birthday was like two days ago. But I have to go keep recording the podcast but I also got a notification that the shipping is gonna be delayed but it's on the way right now so happy birthday. Happy birthday mom.

Yeah but back to dead bodies. Yeah. What about them? We were talking about- They're cold. They are. That was what bothered me. It was hard and cold.

I remember touching my grandma's face and I guess- Like what? Like when you- Leaves like an indentation in her forehead like you were poking it like it was some like with a stick like some dead animal on the side of the road like move like what I like the idea of like my mom is wiping away tears and I poke the face and I leave a huge indentation right in the middle of the forehead and it just stays and my mom is like a fingerprint hole and my mom doesn't see me do it and I'm just like.

That was what threw me off though was how hard and cold it was. I was like, ew. Yeah. And I said that out loud. I said, ew, mom, I want to go home and went home, stopped at McDonald's on the way home. I got a happy meal and my mom missed the rest of the funeral because I just didn't really want to be there. There's just, I got a happy meal, and my mom missed the rest of the funeral, because I just didn't really want to be there. There's just, I get it, I'm not a big fan of open casket stuff, because I-

Fine, you're not coming to mine. Okay. Thank you everyone, goodbye! Thanks for watching!