supermegashow - EP 114 - Freaks and Frights

Episode Date: October 27, 2018

We talk getting freaky with spirits, how Matt and Ross got hepatitis, and rift on some conspiracy theories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Hey, guys. Before we get this episode started off, we just have an announcement to make. It's kind of a serious announcement, and we want to let you know that we're both okay. But Matt and I have both found out that our penises are not as big as we thought they were.

It's a bit of a rough time. It's a bit of a hit to the channel. Yeah. We were a bit overconfident and we overstepped that kind of level of confidence. But we just want to let you know this is going to be the same podcast, just different sized penises. So if we want to get back to the funny ha-has of the episode, we can do that. Okay. Welcome to Super Megacast episode 114. This is the Halloween edition, Spooky Megacast. Oh yeah, this is the scary episode.

Yeah, we got some scary, so we're going to talk about conspiracy theories and scary things. Uh-huh. Halloween. Mm-hmm. Some people say Halloween, some people say Halloween. Go on. You say Halloween. Yes. I say Halloween. Halloween. Some people say Halloween. Some people say Halloween. Go on. You say Halloween. Yes. I say Halloween. Halloween. Why is that? I mean, I think it is

Halloween because it's like Hallows-y. Oh, Hallows-y. Yeah. It's like Halloween. I don't know. I heard you say Halloween yesterday and you said Halloween and I was like, that's interesting. Well, I say Halloween. That just sounds more natural. No, a lot of people say that. This is Halloween. This is Halloween. This is Halloween.

Guys, we're here for this episode of this podcast. We are. We're here. We wouldn't be anywhere else. There is an open bag of Doritos on the floor. There is a big bag of open Doritos. That's been there for a couple weeks now. Has it? I think Aaron was in here recording.

He was eating a big bag of nacho cheese party-sized Doritos. So that's a big bag that's gone to waste now. Well, he takes a bag out of his trunk for every recording. It's weird. They're just piling up in here. But anyway, guys, welcome back. Hope everyone's having a lovely week, a lovely day, whenever you're listening to this.

Or night, yeah. You could be listening to this while you fall asleep. It's going to spook you to the core, so you might not be able to sleep after listening to this one. Yeah, yeah. We're going to really scare you. Yeah. Boo! Uh-oh.

Got him. Yep. So our first scary topic of the day, Matt, is it's going to be ghosts. Okay. Spooky. Yeah. Have you ever experienced a ghost, Matthewew if i ever experienced a ghost um or has a ghost ever experienced you maybe uh maybe a ghost has experienced me in a delightful

little way you know i'm saying oh that is scary you have been pleasured by a ghost no but ghost busters one uh there's a blow job ghost oh gave the dude a blow job or a hand job what if you were just like asleep in bed and a ghost just came up and blew you how would you like what would you do if you just started experiencing like a hand job but there was nothing there i'd look up like can ghosts give me stds and go to there's got to be ghost experts that know this shit where it's like, yeah. Well, not if it's a demon, but if it's a regular spirit, they're more connected to the human realm, which means they do also carry diseases. Now, they're not the same as physical symptoms, but they do carry a lifelong burden of depression and sadness.

A spooky transmitted disease? Yeah. A scary transmitted disease? Yeah. A scary trans... What if the doctors just called STDs that? We. A scary transmitted disease? Yeah. A scary trans... What if the doctors just called STDs that? We got a scary transmitted disease here.

I'm afraid you've got an STD. A scary transmitted disease. That's what it stands for? Yeah, isn't it? I mean, just look at it. It's scary. That's just... It just looks like a rash. Ugh. Doctor. Ew. Ew. Ew! Like, it's like cheese dog. You know, a lot of, doctor. Ew. Ew. It's like it's like cheese dog.

You know, a lot of a lot of people actually have STDs. It's actually it is normal, isn't it? Having an STD. Here's the thing. Look at the number of people who have. OK, it's not technically normal, but it's very close to normal because of how many people have STDs. Yes.

What's the number? Probably like a third of the population has to have an STD. Isn't it like one in five adults have HIV or herpes? Not HIV, herpes? I don't know. It's like a crazy scary number. I found out. I looked it up one time on the podcast because we were talking about sexually transmitted diseases.

It was scary, dude. It was like, what the hell? And now I don't know. Did I bring my phone in here? I don't think you brought your phone in here. Maybe I didn't. Guys, that is the scariest thing we could talk about of all is STDs. So make sure you wrap up your junk.

Wrap it up. Some people live a perfectly good life with an STD, Matthew. You sound like you're defending getting STDs. I'm not saying you should get an STD, but I'm saying that you shouldn't fucking go off the rails if you do. You just gotta be a more responsible person. Right? And inform all of your sexual partners yeah if you have an std and just know that like your decisions led to this somehow yeah you know and you got to take account and be like oh how

did this although you could just put your trust 100% in someone and they fail you completely. Or you could have sat on a toilet seat when you had a cut on your bum bum and got hepatitis C. Yes, yes. Or you could be walking barefoot on the sidewalks of Los Angeles and gotten...

Get hepatitis. Because, okay, so let's talk about a recent scare that Ross and I had. And no, Ross and I did not sleep together. I wish I could have my phone out so we actually, like, don't make up shit on the spot. Hey, it's the scary episode. It's scarier if we make shit up.

Oh, man. They're not fact-checking us. So for, y'all can fact-check us, but. Please don't. Might be important for this specific thing. Okay, so after Drunk Drawing Live, the first show ross was very drunk ross had had two bottles of wine all to himself i i tried to help a little bit ryan tried to help harrison had a few sips but overall ross down the majority of those bottles of wine all by himself yep and

he was very very drunk i think he also had a shot of rum or something. He had some beer as well. He mixed all kinds of alcohol that night. He was making a witch's brew. The show ends and Ross is very gone. You can see it on his face. Sometimes you look at someone and you're like, wow, they're drunk just because you can see the look on their face. He's just not there. His eyelids

are heavy. He's stumbling around. We're outside the venue after everyone's left and there's a food truck selling mac and cheese. And Ross is like, oh, I get some mac and cheese. Because when he gets drunk, his Australian accent comes out. Cheese and maccas. Or whatever they say. Some stupid Australian bullshit.

So we go and we buy Ross some mac and cheese. And he sits down with it on the bench. And he's like, oh, there's onions on this. I'm allergic to onions. So he starts trying to, to like wipe the onions off and then just knocks the whole thing on the ground upside down on the sidewalk of la and he freaks out so he scoops it all up back into the container off of the los angeles sidewalk and that is la sidewalks that's nasty yeah that is, LA sidewalks, that's nasty. Yeah. That is disgusting. They're gross.

They smell like pee pee. And he just starts eating it, like from the sidewalk. And I didn't realize, I took a bite because I thought that I was eating from a section that didn't fall on the ground. And Harrison ate some too. Turns out that it had all fallen on the ground. So I ate some off the sidewalk too. And then the next day

i'm telling the story and ryan's like you know you can get you can get herpes from that and i was like what and he's like yeah there's like an epidemic in los angeles where the sidewalks are infested with but it's not herpes is it hepatitis i think it's hepatitis some bad std with nh it's like uh they have to bleach the sidewalks because there's so much of it. And I freaked out. I was like, oh no. Am I going to get hepatitis from eating mac and cheese?

Did you start looking up hepatitis pics? I did. I was freaking out. I was like, I swear to Christ if I get an STD from eating macaroni and cheese off the sidewalk. You're going to kill Ross. I'm going to kill Ross. That was a reality. You were fixing to mangle Ross's corpse. I was going to mangle him and turn him into a corpse.

And then mangle his corpse. Yes. I was pissed off. And I call Ross up later that day. I'm like, hey Ross. I'm just, as a friend, I feel like I should tell you this. You might have an STD. Because we ate the mac and cheese off the sidewalk.

And he was like, are you fucking kidding me? Um, and, and then he got mad at me. I was like, Ross, I'm just trying to do my duty as a friend and inform you.

I could just let you go on. I mean, even though it might be somewhat ill informed, I'm just trying to help a brother out. I mean, Brent and Ryan were very adamant about this whole hepatitis sidewalk thing. And I looked it up and it's real. I don't know if it's in LA.

Is it LA or is it somewhere? It's LA, man. They got to bleach the sidewalks in front of storefronts because you're not supposed to walk barefoot on the sidewalks because of all the hepatitis. Damn. How does it even get on the sidewalk? How does hepatitis just get on the sidewalk? Someone accidentally just spilled a barrel of it on the sidewalk. It's a hepatitis truck going by and it crashed.

And it just spilled hepatitis everywhere. That's how superheroes are made. Hepatitis man? Either a hepatitis truck. It crashes and spills acid onto a poor child who then becomes hepatitis man. It spills just liquid hepatitis. Hepatitis man! Covered in boils!

Can't get out of bed! Is that what hepatitis does it covers you in boils i sounds like that sounds like a fucking plague that sounds like a biblical plague dude listen if you get dunked in a barrel of liquid hepatitis you're probably gonna get boils okay you know it's like if i just contract hepatitis maybe not but if i'm dunked in like liquid hepatitis i'm breaking out in some kind of nasty skin condition. That should be the name of this podcast. Liquid hepatitis. It sounds so gross.

Hepatitis, man. And then in parentheses, ooh, spooky. Okay. I like that title. Don't. But Ross and I don't have, well, I haven't been tested. But I would like to believe I don't have hepatitis from that. We better not pass it to anyone else.

Well, Ross consulted a microbiologist and she said you can't get it that way. Okay. So that article was just bullshit. No. What? There is hepatitis on the sidewalks. I just don't think you can get it from it coming in contact with mac and cheese

and then me eating it. Okay. I'd have to put my penis on the sidewalk and scrape it around a little bit. The foreskin a little bit? I'd have to regrow my foreskin. I don't have a foreskin either. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Fuck you!

We have our little helmets. You still have that if you're uncircumcised. No, but that's all you see. All you see is the helmet head of the penis. Yeah, you don't... We don't even have a shaft anymore. They got rid of that. All we have is the head of the penis. Yeah, you don't... We don't even have a shaft anymore. They got rid of that. All we have is the head of the penis.

It's not like a vampire right before he goes... We don't have that cape. If you're uncircumcised, get your penis tattooed to be a vampire and you can get what I'm saying. There are a lot of uncircumcised people, right? Oh, yeah. A majority of the world is uncircumcised. Really? Yeah.

I'm in the minority here? Unfortunately. Our parents robbed that from us. Why is my penis cut off at a young age? They didn't even baptize me at a young age and they cut my penis off? They literally just cut my whole shaft off and reattached the head to the balls. That's all they did. And I just recently found out that that's not how circumcision is.

Yeah, then they permanently stitched googly eyes on it, which is weird. Yeah, but I can't do anything about that, can I, Ryan? No. And I don't appreciate you sharing that personal information with everyone. My parents painted mine like Spider-Man. Well, that's weird. What? That's not normal.

You go to the fair. I'd like to get my son's penis painted. Is he circumcised? Yep, okay. All right. Do you want the minion? Do you want spider-man? You want the tiger? Son you want the tiger or the minion? I would like the minion It's 24 year old you And you got to sit down and remove your slacks Blood on my sock now that'sacks. Is there blood on my sock? Now that's spooky.

Look, there's blood on my sock. I don't know where it came from. Your vagina. Shut the hell up, Ryan. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality,

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I see that lost look on your face. It's the same expression when you're trying to make a joke but you don't know where to go and you get this like very lost innocent look on your face and your lips are pursed because you're just waiting to say whatever. Like pursed?

Yeah, you're waiting to spit out just the next thing comes. Finish it, finish it. From my vagina because I'm about to give birth to a. Come on. You interrupted me and I forgot. Am I supposed to come up with something on the spot here? Rekindle that fire. Rekindle that fire.

Okay. Matt has blood on his sock. Okay. Which then made me go go vaginas make blood so why not just comment on that it's the only place blood comes so then ryan said from your vagina to also demasculate matt yeah so and it works demasculate whatever demasculinize demat yeah i don't know. And then afterwards, my head went, oh, that's a period joke. People aren't going to like that.

And then I was like, okay, maybe I'll just switch it on childbirth last second. And I'm like, because you're giving birth. And that's where I got lost because I'm like, well, now I don't know where it's going. I could have just stopped at the period bit, but I had to try to make it safe. So now I've just dug myself into two different holes well like it's one hole but another canal leads to another six foot hole that I've dug

kind of like what not unlike what Zero kind of did for Caveman in holes digging two holes at once I remember that there's an important lesson in life don't go around digging someone else's holes. That's true.

And also, don't be a bad boy, because they'll take you to Camp Greenwood. Yeah. Camp Green Lake. And they're going to take a bad boy. Make him dig six feet. Five feet. That's in the song.

Oh, make him dig five feet. Make him dig five feet. And there's dirt in the shovel. We'll give him a beat. Oh, well, you got gotta find something never found before if not you just gotta dig some more you

gotta go dig them holes what? oh speaking of holes okay I'll talk about something scary I remember when I was I was probably like 12

or 13 my next door neighbor invited me over. Did he kidnap you? He did. He held me hostage. And he beat me and whipped me. But his son, he was like four years older than me. And his friend was over.

And I remember they invited me over. And they wanted to show me this hole they had dug. And it was not just a hole but it was a tunnel they had somehow dug underground that came out like six or seven feet on the other side of the yard I know it's actually really impressive

that they had done that but they dug like a legit tunnel that went underground but this thing was narrow I'm talking like two feet wide by like one foot tall. And they wanted me to climb through it. Like I think that they wanted me to like test it. They like climbed through it and I did. And I was like so tightly enclosed in this hole under like this tunnel underground.

And looking back, that shit was terrifying. I don't know why I did that. If it collapsed, I could have died. But yeah, for all you claustrophobia, climbed through a very small hole that's scary yeah i don't know why i did that that was stupid don't do that and then and then one of the kids peed in the hole so while you were in it no just afterwards did you ask him to i don't know why i was like dude you just ruined the hole no one's gonna climb through that anymore it's like oh it drives up it's like well yeah but there's a dried piss in there i'm gonna get hepatitis

that's how you get hepatitis dried piss in a hole in the ground so if you ever see a hole in the ground with dried piss don't go in that you're gonna get hepatitis are you ready for a halloween story matt no i'm ready this is called ryan's trick-or-treating adventure no i just like that ryan's trick-or-treating ryan's trick-or-treating okay ryan's trick-or-treating adventure. No, scratch that. Ryan's trick-or-treating. Ryan's trick-or-treating. Okay, Ryan's trick-or-treating. This was back, I want to say, freshman year of high school. Freshman year of high school.

You were still trick-or-treating in ninth grade? Probably. I didn't until I was 16, guys. 16 was my last year, and I had hit my growth spurt by then, so everyone was like, people denied me candy. And I was like, you asshole. So you were a junior in high school? No, I was a sophomore. Oh, okay.

But people would still be like, you're too tall. I'm not giving you candy. I'm like, fuck you. Okay, okay. Not cool. Continue. So, freshman year of high school. I was in this kind of friend group

the best way I can describe it is these two friends had a falling out and I filled in the puzzle piece for one of the other guys actually I would hang out with both of them they'd constantly talk shit about each other but in my head I'm like oh they're gonna be friends again so they were just hanging out with me

kind of like I'm mad at this person I need someone to vent to because I can't vent to them about it because I'm mad at them type of thing. And one of them had just invited a bunch of people to go trick or treating. And one of the girls I had a really big crush on that they invited. So I was like, this is my chance. And I was talking to my friend about like, do you think I have a chance with this girl? Like, do you think there's any realm of possibility?

Like, should I even try to pursue this? And he was like, yeah, of course you should. You should definitely do that. I was like, okay. So everyone comes over and by by everyone I mean this girl, one of her friends, the two friends that hate each other, and me. So that's the group. And so we start trick-or-treating.

I'm like, okay, so I'm going to just try to talk to this girl. So I go up and try to talk to the girl, and everything's going fine. And it seems like we're hitting it off right? Little Ryan McGee's knocking it out of the damn ballpark I'm just like yo what's your favorite color? That's not mine mine's blue. What's your favorite animal?

You're supposed to lie and just say it's yours too Damn dude Ryan you're fucking hitting home runs here. I know and then the friend that told me I should go for it came from behind me and gave her a big ol' smooch on the mouth. Whoa! And then everyone started

walking ahead and I'm like, what? And so, basically what it turned out, which I wasn't aware of, was these two friends made amends. And one of the friends was liking the girl's friend. And so the girl's friend brought the girl that I liked along with her friends was liking the girl's friend and so the girl's friend brought the girl that i liked along with her but then the girl's friend also liked the my friend's friend who was

also my friend you lost me okay so basically okay this is this is this is hard to explain it turned okay so the girl i liked right yeah she was she was with that other girl who was invited by the one of one of the friends got you who liked her okay oh so it turned out to be a double date scenario that i wasn't aware of oh ryan so basically the whole night it was the couples. Literally. I remember how far away we were probably five car lengths away with me walking in the back with my little trick or treat bag, just walking by yourself. I didn't have a car.

I couldn't drive home. What was I going to do? Just so I was just walking behind like these, these two couples now, like high school, kind of like flirtatious couples. And I'm just like, well, this is a fun night. This is something else. Did you get some good candy? I got some good candy.

That's good. Yeah. It was a very, very, very, very unfortunate night for me, though. That sucks, dude. I'm sorry. I really took a hit to my self-esteem. I know. And then I was like, to my friend, I was like, what the F?

And we were, we just stopped talking we need a redemption Ryan we gotta get him on super mega and we gotta ask him what the F he was thinking he's the same person that introduced me to Smosh on YouTube so okay so he did do some good in the beginning

then he crushed your heart that fucking sucks dude I'm sorry sorry about the confusing who's who. It's okay. I can't use names, of course. I drew it out in my head with like a little like, one of those like... All you need is the picture of me walking alone five car lengths back from two happy couples from which I

thought we were just gonna be in one big group having fun. But high schoolers are horny! So they wanna be with the girls. That's true. Oh, man. I was just thinking back to last year's Spooky Megacast. And I remember it was episode 66, Madea 2, where we had reviewed Madea Boo 2 on Madea Halloween. Yeah, he didn't come out with a third one this year. I was just about to say, I just realized I'm disappointed.

Tyler Perry did not release a third Madea's Halloween movie this year. Aren't they making a third one? Not that, to my knowledge. Look it up on IMDb. Very well could be. Tyler Perry did not release a third Madea's Halloween movie this year aren't they making a third one? to my knowledge very well could be I hope he just drops in like April let me see Madea Halloween

3 I mean we gotta go see every Madea movie that comes out will there be a Madea Halloween 3? Uh-oh. Oh, wait. Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral 2019. All right, we got to go to that.

Yeah. We got to go see Madea's Family Funeral. All I'm saying is if Madea Boone... Boone? Who did that? There was a Discord notification. Oh. All I'm saying is, if Madea Boone... Boone? Who did that? There was a Discord notification. All I'm saying is, if Boo3 came out, a Madea Halloween Boo3 came out, it would be so scary.

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That underwear is soft, so I can only imagine what those lounge pants are like. Let me tell you, you'll be in fall heaven when you cover your entire bottom half with fabric that's three times softer than cotton. It really is three times softer than cotton.

It's really soft. I own, I probably have like 12 pairs of MeUndies at this point because the folks at MeUndies are so sweet and they keep sending us free undies. Like most of my underwear now is MeUndies and it is. Why would you ever go back to? I can, dude. I put on a pair and then I look at my nasty Hanes, whitey tighties and I'm like, ew, why would I ever go back to those?

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guarantee. Guys, there is no reason you shouldn't be getting this freaking underwear. It helps the channel out. It's fucking, it feels nice. Underwear is something that you should use every day. You should, yeah. That's why I said should. I don't want to judge anybody.

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Well, that's one ad read out of the way. And you know what, Matt? I'm going to put you on the spot. Fuck. What is your favorite Halloween song? There's so many to choose from. Spooky Scary Skeletons. It's fun.

Yep. Spooky Scary Skeletons. We used to come out on the back porch when we used to live with Mark. Daniel would start singing that song as you were walking up. It offended me. At first, he wouldn't even tell you. He'd just do it to make me laugh. But then he'd start doing it out loud to get at you.

Yeah, and I'd do it. And I would still laugh because it was funny. Yeah, but then he'd start doing it out loud to, to get at you. Yeah. And I, and I, I would still laugh because it was funny. Yeah. Cause I, I'm so lanky and skinny. They just sing the, you're not the only people that have ever done that.

I didn't sing it. I did. I did later. Yeah. You did later. You go spooky, scary skeletons. And I get really mad.

And when I look at you and go, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, those are our theme songs I'm trying to beef up dude I've been going to the gym and there ain't nothing scary about that I'm sore you could die in the gym

a lot of people die in the gym died in the gym? well actually I was there with Ross the other night and I was binge pressing and basically like the way this binge press at the gym we go to works is it's on like a track that's like uh vertically going up so you're not just like free lifting a bar it's like

connected to it and you lift it up and it has these notches for you to put it on when you're done for it to like hang on i saw you smile you thought about not i did you know i did you know i did sorry about that um and basically it slipped and i am okay ryan just put suck the microphone like a cock this is how you just put it in your mouth i did that's gross do you think how many people's breath goes on that you know i don't care yeah you don't give a shit i almost dropped the whole uh bar with the weights on it on my neck like it slipped and i caught it that would have fucking like broken my neck and killed me it would have you'd have been dead but you're not dead you're alive i'm here to be on episode 114 113

could have been the last episode of super mega cast but here i am You know what's hilarious? What? In 150 years, everyone that's alive right now will be either ashes or buried in the ground. That's not true. Technology is going to advance while we're alive and they're going to be able to put our minds into a supercomputer. Yeah.

Have you, yeah. And we're still going to be making Super Mega 200 years from now. Dude, if I could, I would. That'd be fun. We could be inside a computer and be like, beep, boop, welcome to Super Mega. People are like,

life is meaningful because it's so short. I'm like, fuck that. You only get one. I want to be here as long as I can. That's why it's meaningful. Fuck that. Because it's short so you gotta do as much fun shit as you can and make it worth it. Ew. Do you want to live forever?

No. I would like to. I want to live forever. I just like to live at least 200 years. I was just about to say the exact same thing. 200 years. That'd be a good lifespan. That sounds like the perfect life where you can like, I feel like at year 100, you're like, I have come into my own finally as a person and now I'm going to like live and learn more.

I just feel like at 100 years, you've seen so much. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'd like to age slower though, if that's the case. So it's like when I'm 40, I'm aged as if I'm 20. No, I wish. Okay. I age regularly until I'm 20, and then 20 slows down between 20 and 40.

Then it's like a double thing. So like for every 20 years, you age 10 years. So then when I'm 100. How about every 30 years, you age 10 years? Okay. Sounds good. So when I'm like 160, I'm actually like 80. Yeah.

You know, in the Bible, they lived to be like 900. Sure they did. Yeah. Fucking losers. I actually want to talk about conspiracy theories because I've always been a big fan of conspiracy theories. And for that, I brought a special guest. You didn't.

Come on, MatPat. What else? Thank you, MatPat. Oh my god. I don't have any ill will towards MatPat. I just think a lot of the conspiracies are goofy. Of course. I have no ill will towards him. That might have seemed like a slight.

I just made a funny fart noise. I'm sorry. What if he fights you? Like, you guys do a big boxing match. I don't know. I feel like there's a lot of... He's a handsome dude. He is.

I just feel like... I'm not trying to say anything about MatPat, but I feel like a lot of YouTubers are very vindictive, and they don't do much in revenge unless they're like Jake Paul or anything. I don't think they do much in revenge in terms of like right in front of the camera I feel like they they they pull little chess moves he's gonna he's gonna call up YouTube and

like do some behind the scenes stuff and get our channel like less monetized that Ryan guy from super mega made fart noises when talking about me and why would it demonetize that channel and he's gonna he's gonna go to YouTube and go look I'm not gonna upload another conspiracy video until until you fucking slit the throat of Ryan Ellie ass McGee more like Ryan smelly ass McGee

ow fuck stop stop just beat me with a fucking pillow I'm sorry I'll beat you with my cock next little man. Don't. No. Don't do that. I'll beat off Okay, you sure? It's not in front of me. Are you sure? Positive. I'll do it right now. What would you do if you just started jerking off in front of me? If I started getting my little willy hard and I started beating off man, what would you do? Did you ever have friends that would just like jerk off in front of you as a kid?

No. I know you did. I had this one friend that I'd like be, I was hanging out at his house and I just turn around and he's just like jerking off. And I was like, dude, what, what are you doing? Did you sit there and watch till he came? Yeah. He came right in my face.

Right in my face, dude. No, but. I just wanted to experience it. It was like Shamu's like fucking show. But he was like. I was in the splash zone, baby. I had to wear a tarp. It was weird weird though and i went home and i told my mom i was like mom my friend came in my face he was jerking off in front of me and she was like that's weird sweetheart she has a really deep voice uh but like she's such a deep soul she is man but basically let's

talk about conspiracy theories. Because that's spooky. And I don't give any credence to any conspiracy theories. Like, I don't actually really believe any big, major conspiracy theories. There's ones that I think are more plausible. Yeah. I feel like, unfortunately, it's just a... There are moments of coincidence that you have to accept.

Because coincidences happen all the fucking time. Because weird shit happens. Like, you know weird shit happens in your day-to-day life. Where you're like coincidences happen all the fucking time. This weird shit happens. Like you know weird shit happens in your day to day life where you're like well that was fucking weird. Like I will be reading a word and then hear someone say the word or hear it on TV like right when I was like shit like that. Like my stepmom took a trip to Germany one day and

then sorry like just for a day. She took a trip to Germany like years and years ago and she ended up seeing one of her like like friends also there randomly that's so weird small world it's like what's the coincidence of that happening now does that mean like there was some overarching uh plan for that to happen no it just is a fucking coincidence but i feel like i feel like unfortunately jfk it's like a coincidence that i don't know i feel like jfK is the one conspiracy theory that I can get behind. Like something weird happened there. No.

What if his head just exploded? What if? No. What if he went to like, you know how when you when you hold your nose and then blow to pop your ears? What if he was doing that and his head just popped? Like for an airplane? Yeah.

Are you trying to depressurize your fucking head? He was fine earlier in the day. Maybe he was just trying to like, you know, pop his ears. His poor wife, Jackie, did not have a good time that day. No, that was not a fun day for Jackie. She jumped on the back of the car, started picking at his little brain pieces, trying to collect them up. She got some goofy stuff on her. She might have been trying to bring him back to life.

She was going to put all the brain pieces back. Which that actually works, guys. You can do that um yeah frankenstein non-fiction so are there any conspiracy theories that you not saying you believe in but you think are more plausible than others i got one that i might get some some some uh some what's the word i'm looking for flack some flack for which i'm not not saying I believe it, but the reasoning behind it makes sense to me. Okay, I got one real quick. Okay, what do you think? I don't even think this is a conspiracy theory.

What? It was like Project something. I can't remember. Bluebeam? No, no, no. It was like about teleportation. I can't remember what it was. Oh, the Philadelphia?

Yeah, that shit. Project? That shit's scary. There's a lot of shit you can read up on that. I get super invested in it was. Oh, the Philadelphia project? That shit's scary. There's a lot of shit you can read up on that. I get super invested in it. In my head, I'm like, maybe. I know, because it's fun. It's fun to be like, maybe.

I know, I know. I know there's like, no. There's not that much of a chance that all of that shit went down. But I don't know. Basically, for those who don't know, it like, in World War II, I think. Yeah. After the Manhattan Project, they tried to, like, teleport a, or no, they tried to make, like, a Navy cruiser invisible using some, like, crazy technology that Albert Einstein

worked on. And then it apparently, like, teleported 200 miles away, 10 seconds back in time. And then everyone on board was, like, fused with the ship or mentally challenged for the rest of their lives or killed themselves later. on and then it apparently like teleported 200 miles away 10 seconds back in time and then everyone on board was like fused with the ship or mentally challenged for the rest of their lives or killed themselves later yeah and i think that's freaky it's just a good story yeah it's a great story if it's not true but uh okay one conspiracy theory i can get behind is so they say the earth is round right no i'm just kidding um I don't do the moon landing one because I can see

the reasoning would be like it'd be easy to fake it just so we beat the Soviets but wouldn't it be in the best interest of the other countries to disprove what we did as well and not fall in line like they did yeah that's true but I just say out of conspiracy theories

that's like one of the more believable ones to me oh yeah Stanley Kubrick he filmed it actually I was watching The Shining last night and Harrison was telling me about how like there's a lot of um like a lot of people think that like The Shining was his apology for faking the moon landing and there's like

there's one shot where the kid Danny is just wearing a shirt a sweater that has Apollo 11 knitted on it. And Harris is like, that's really not helping his case out. But I don't know. That one, like, maybe. There's a lot of footage you look at where it's really goofy. It's really crazy that we went to the moon in the 60s i will say this if there is if there is a factual claim by someone who i could

trust and um it became it was kind of like the start of it being general knowledge of someone going yeah we faked the moon landing back then i'd believe it i believe that we've that we'd fake the moon landing to get ahead in some way to build up aspirations and to build up um excite not excitement but just win the space race you know well wouldn't a space race but it wasn't wasn't just like it wasn't all about just being having the better technology it was also just kind of like speed first well in the time um well think about the time we were in every everyone was super competitive and also like i think, the country was just super depressed in general. Yeah, and we had to, like. Let's get your spirits up, people.

Let's go to the moon. Let's go, baby. People want to see us go to the big cookie in the sky. The big wheel of cheese up there. Remember when Wallace and Gromit took their dumb asses up there and ate cheese off the moon? Yeah. Fuck those motherfuckers. Ain't no cheese.

It's dirt. We had to beat the Soviets. Speaking of Sovietsets there's another conspiracy oh i got a good one um it's not really conspiracy theory it's just hitler in in south america no that's that's a goofy well a lot of nazis there's a whole book about it there's documentaries the reason that's a big thing is because a lot of uh a lot of nazis ended up in argentina because argentina became like a haven for nazis so like a lot of Nazis ended up in Argentina because Argentina became like a haven for Nazis. So like a lot of Nazis fled Germany and went to Argentina at the end of World War II.

And there's still like a big Nazi population in Argentina. Yeah. So a lot of people think that like, oh, Hitler faked his death and then like escaped and just went to Argentina and lived the rest of his days out there. Sitting on the beach, drinking Mai Tais with the little umbrellas in it good for him um but basically um have you ever heard of the lost cosmonauts basically it's like during the space race when the united states i think there's an easter eggs about them and like in like shows sometimes i wouldn't be surprised it's it's freaky but it's like the soviets and the americans were like you know they're fighting to be the first people in space to orbit the world, to go to the moon, shit like that. And basically there's like all of these, you know, the Soviet Union sent the first man into orbit.

They won that one. It was yuri starts with a g something and but allegedly before that there were like 20 or so other cosmonauts they'd sent up that had failed and there's like allegedly radio recordings of like their their radio transmissions back and forth where it's like no so like people picked it up like these italian guys picked it up and basically one's like someone couldn't re-enter and they kind of like bounced off the atmosphere and then just got lost like sent out into space and couldn't turn back and you can just hear them like fading out as they're like panicking as they get go off into space jesus and then one where like people burned up entering the atmosphere there's like a recording of that and apparently like a bunch of people

died um so there's an actual recording of someone drifting out into space. Allegedly. But like, well, the Soviets denied all of it, of course, because the Soviet Union, they covered everything up. Because I was just reading about this when they shot down this Korean air flight in the 80s for flying over Soviet territory. And they denied everything at first. And then once the Soviet Union fell and it just became russia they eventually like handed over all the papers for it and we're like yeah it happened here it is um so like the soviet union denies everything and of course they deny it back then because if they're in like a race to be like the first they're not and they have these like catastrophic failures where all these cosmonauts die and people

get lost in space they're not going to share that because that's going to look like a big blow in the race yeah but i totally believe that would happen because he like you know i don't imagine the first time you try to send someone to space ever it's going to go well i imagine there's a lot of trial and error there probably a lot of people died maybe americans did too and we just don't know about it yeah but here's the thing like we needed to take from the government in that instance and give the people hope essentially we needed to take from the rich to give to the needy to those who needed to be hopeful um some might call it a robin hood type event others might call it robin hood dot com robin hood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos all commission free.

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I really have. I got a couple of free stocks on there, so I've been monitoring those. Robinhood would like to give Super Megacast listeners a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio. You could sign up at megacast.robinhood.com. That's megacast.robinhood.com that's megacast.robinhood.com and as always guys by supporting this you are helping to

support our podcast but also just keep in mind you know the stock market is something you should go in at your own risk and be careful so those people that are legitimately looking to get involved. Research.

Yeah. First, I would say a little bit like just even into Robin Hood and into investing in general. But Robin Hood is a safe, fast, good way for newcomers with little risk. So have fun, guys. Get some cash. Have a good time. Join that 1%, which Ryan and I will never be a part of. Most likely, wish that'd be sweet We'll never be a part of that think about that like I can I can I can could win the lottery True which speaking of which there's a hole in my pants that leads right to my balls

Can I see? Right there yep, that's the ball like I'm gonna move my underwear just to be like see look. It's right there. Yep. That's his balls. Like, I'm going to move my underwear just to be like, see? Look, it's a hole. Oh, yeah. Straight to my balls. Oh, yeah. There's your ball skin and a little bit of the head of your penis. That is true, yes.

I think it was smushed up in there. Yeah, well, it's smushed in there, dude. Yeah, it's tight. I got to bring it through the hole. I'm like suing. It's like suing a needle, dude. Suing a needle? Suing a needle.

Suing? You know it's suing. I'm going to suing club later so I can sue a nice, dude. Suing a needle? Suing a needle. Suing? You know it's suing. I'm going to suing club later so I can sue a nice shirt up. It's because of the way it's spelled. I know. When I think about it, it fucks me up. Every time I read it, I'm like sue. Oh, so. Sowing. Why is it spelled? Fuck off. S-O-W-I-N-G

which is also a fucking word because you sow your crops. Reap what you sow. Yep. Wait, is it SOW oh no I think it is oh shit I don't have my phone Matt look it up okay hold on

look up SOW reap what you sow it's SOW for reap what you sow haha hell yeah let's talk about more conspiracy theories. No. There's this thing called Building 7. 9-11.

Okay. Was an inside job. That's all you guys need to know. There's some crazy ones, though. A lot of cool alien shit. One of the ones that freaks me out is I watched a documentary with Aaron and Susie and Ross and Jimmy Wetzel, who looks like a pretzel. Basically about how like the governments of the world were going to come together and stage like an alien invasion to basically control people. Unfortunately, the governments of the world are too stupid and –

That's what they want you to think. And no. That is dumb. No. Like there's not like some evil genius behind Bernard Sanders. I like just calling him Bernard. I'm a Bernard, bro. There's no evil genius behind Ted Cruz or fucking Lindsey Graham.

He's called the devil or anybody. It's just it's just a bunch of people who want to have money and want to be popular. And some of them want to do good. Most of them don't. And it's all about themselves. And it's not about anything else but themselves, I think, for the most part. Oh, politicians? Yeah, of course.

It's all just like, it's just a power game. I don't think a lot of narcissistic people can come together and form a plan together like get try to get all the health care plan or try to get all the narcissists in the world to do something i don't think all the sociopathic narcissists yeah they'll all try to like swindle each other out which is what which is what happens which is why nothing can get done yeah because everyone's fucking swindling each other. We should be politicians. I'm good.

Have you thought about that? I'm good. Yeah, I was thinking about moving to Ohio and becoming a politician there. Brian, I want to... Who's... So I was looking up gay soldiers on Google the other night, and I found this guy called General Butt Naked, and he was a legitimate like guerrilla warfare soldier from like liberia who would go into battle with nothing but his shoes and his gun and he was just

called guerrilla or uh general butt naked and you can look him up he has his own wikipedia page and i thought this was the goofiest shit there's a guy named general butt naked until i found out that before every battle he would sacrifice a human child and eat their heart what yeah and now this he retired all of this how long ago was this uh not too long ago and then he retired all this and became a pastor is he still alive yeah and he's a pastor he's alive and he's a pastor wait a man who ate the hearts of children and went into battle naked with his little penis flopping everywhere and his gun in his shoes are there there pictures of him in battle naked? Yes, there are. There's pictures. I'll pull one up for you. There's pictures of General Butt naked. Would he eat

just any child's heart? Would he eat the enemy child's heart? No, he would just, before battle, he would just sacrifice a fucking kid and eat their heart. Yeah, look, he's a, this is him now. He's a pastor. Let me see him. That's him.

Is he Liberian, I think? I knew a guy from Liberia growing up and he was terrified of cats. He seems young. He is young. This is what... I think this is in the Liberian Civil War. I thought this was gonna be like when people had black and white photos and shit. Photos and shit.

Photos and shit. No. He would go into battle. He's a liberian priest jiggy jiggy jiggy wow look at this jiggy jiggy jiggy nice um want a jig oh let's get jiggy with it i can't believe it oh yeah he's only born in 71 this guy is crazy it's just a he's a former warlord that would go out naked. Whatever happened to Joseph Kony, dude? Kony 2012, my brothers. What's he up to?

His, I actually was reading up on him the other night. His army is down to like a hundred people. Wait, really? As of last year. Is he still like, is he still stomping around? No, the US stopped pursuing him because they deemed him no longer a threat to Uganda. I wonder how that's going to feel. Be like, yeah.

It's like, no, we're bad. Nah, we're going to focus on something else. What? Who's going to come after me? What do you mean? It's like Tom and Jerry. He loves the chase. He loves the chase.

He just wants it. I was reading about Joseph Kony. He believes that he can talk to spirits and that he is the messenger of God. And he believes that one, he can talk to 13 different spirits. One of them is a Chinese phantom. I'm not kidding. Really?

Yeah. He believes in a spooky. I know. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He, uh,

I saw a picture of him, uh, wearing like a, someone Photoshop it. So he was wearing like a Supreme hat and everything. You know, it's really spooky. What?

How much time of my life i'm gonna lose to red dead redemption 2 when it comes out at 9 p.m tonight it's tonight yeah we got to record it bring it in let's record it tonight no come on ryan we need to monetize it so bad i i want to monetize the red dead redemption no i want to enjoy it like i enjoyed spider-man i do want to play Red Dead Redemption. Okay, also. I 100% completed Spider-Man. It's like that game came out like last month.

That's crazy. It's just like I burn through games too quickly. I need to start taking my time and enjoying You should play a long game like Chrono Trigger. I started playing Forza Horizon 4 or something. It's an open world driving game oh i love very relaxing like that very relaxing very beautiful i gotta send you some screenshots because that their skybox

is like one of the best skyboxes i've seen oh i want to see that skybox let me get all up in that skybox baby um i uh uh fuck hold on what were we talking about right before oh yeah i i saw this post on twitter and it was like a screenshot of an article that was like uh you can have gay cowboy sex in red dead redemption 2 and i believed it i thought that like you could actually do that because i was like you know if they're gonna like make it so like the horse's balls shrink when it gets cold which there is actual photo evidence of now i thought that they would actually let you uh have gay cowboy sex in the game and then it turns out it was just a fake twitter tweet but um i'm disappointed you can't have gay cowboy sex because if we play that on super mega all we're going to be doing is having gay sex with cowboys with cowboy not with each

other not with cowgirls either no well you can't have gay sex with a cowgirl unless you're another cowgirl. Yeah. Right? I mean, you could, Arthur can be like, I'm a girl, and then have sex with a girl and be like, lesbian. Boom. That's true. He could. So. I really would like to play Red Dead Redemption 2, though. Looks like a lot of frickin' fun. Excuse my language, but.

It will be, and I'll be enjoying it tonight. Well, I hope you, uh, you could have emailed me some screenshots. You could have preloaded it tonight well I hope you you could have pre-loaded it you could have pre-loaded it on your PS4 if you wanted I could do it right now I could go home and leave all of the I have so much work to do today it's not even funny

after this podcast I'm going to be sweating from my brow because of how much damn work I have and uh I'm just going to ditch all that and go home and pre-download Red Dead Redemption 2 why are you staring at me like that cause I wanna fuck you stop did you make me uncomfortable

I don't like those eyes those beady eyes those beady SM eyes I want my hair tie but I got the cheap hair tie so after one use it became stretchy and now I don't have anything to keep my hair back now it's just a lion's mane Ryan put your records on After one use, it became stretchy, and now I don't have anything to- You motherfucker.

Keep my hair back. Now it's just a lion's mane. Ryan, put your records on. Tell me your favorite song. You go ahead and let your hair down. Okay. Sapphire and faded jeans. I hope you get your dreams.

You go ahead, let your hair down. Thanks, baby. You're gonna find yourself somewhere. Okay, stop. I'm sorry. It's fine. I just thought you liked it. Sorry.

I thought you liked the singing, but... No, it's fine. Can I keep singing? Yeah, if you want. Sapphire and faded jeans. I hope you get your dreams. You go ahead, let your hair down. What point of the podcast is this, Matt?

This is the point where we're probably wrapping it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, I'm sitting here, I'm just like... You're like slouched over and I'm just singing. You're like, all right, let's wrap it up. Yeah. I think it's about time. Yeah.

Wasn't it spooky? I thought it was very spooky. There, there's a jump scare. That was a jump scare for everyone. Look at that waveform that's on the screen. To make it more. What a brick of a waveform. To make it more spooky.

So there, now you can't say, oh, this wasn't a spooky mega podcast. Or the poor soul that fell asleep listening to this the poor soul who's behind a wheel while listening to this driving like an 18 wheeler and just fucking flips it and kills a family it's plausible it's possible it is that you doing that could kill an entire i thought about that like whenever we'd like jump scare someone in the podcast unintentionally, like with a sound effect, like they're like, that scared me.

I'm like, what if they just jerk the wheel to the side real quick? And what if they're like in the kitchen cooking with a butcher's knife and they slice their finger off and then bleed out to death? That's, that's the new boo three thing. We got to go write this down. We got to go tell,

we got to go tell Terry, Terry Cruz. He's going to star. Comes. He's gonna star. Come on. Alright, guys. Well, I hope you have a fantastic... Johnny Depp can be Medea this time. Okay, Johnny Depp can play Medea. Scarlett Johansson will play Medea this time. And by the way, I hope you guys

are enjoying Spooky Mega. Yeah, we got lots of more to come. Lots of more. Lots of more. Dead Space. Dead Space and one-offs and some... When are we starting to release Dead Space? Today. Today? And some spooky shit coming out.

Sweet. Oh, we got something new coming out this week that people are going to... Shit their pants? They're going to shit their pants. Anyway, guys, love you. See you next week. Bye. Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween.