supermegashow - EP 120 - SuperBeta

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

We talk Christian Rap, our morning routines, Soulja Boy's newest endeavor, and Matt tests Ryan's immunity to the beta male smile. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Hey guys, welcome back to Talking Show. I'm Matt Watson. And I'm Ryan McGee and we haven't done this in a while. Yeah. But it's good to be back.

Live action and everything. You can see me waving right now. Wow, look at that. That's pretty sweet. Now when we upload this, people are going to be like, See, they tried to bring it back, but I guess they forgot to turn the camera on, so they just uploaded it as a podcast. But now since I said that, they're in on the joke, and they won't do it. It's almost as bad as when we shot

a mail video yesterday, and I forgot to turn on the microphone. Oh, no harm, no foul. I mean, we still have the audio. It's almost as bad as when we shot a mail video yesterday and I forgot to turn on the microphone. Oh, no harm, no foul. I mean, we still have the audio. It's just not as crisp as the other ones, but... It'll sound like it's coming from, like, an old cell phone from, like, when AT&T was around. No, sorry, when Singular was around. I forgot.

Oh, my God. Dude, old brands that were part of our childhood that don't exist, like Wachovia, the bank. Remember that one? Yep. Wachovia. There was a, I was about to say Sprint. Sprint still exists. There was another phone one that doesn't exist anymore.

What was it? You know what I'm talking about? No. Like what specifically? Like, is it food? No, a phone one. Oh, a phone. Is Motorola still a thing?

Is Nokia still a thing? Yeah, Nokia's still a thing. Motorola. Somehow, Nokia's still a thing. Dude, Nokia's awesome. Like, I wish I could just have an old little Nokia. No, I don't, but it would be sick if I had one just for calling, that I could just have, like, for a business phone, a little old Nokia phone, like one of the little brick ones.

I'd like a flip phone just to be like, I'm not gonna look at social media for the weekend, ones. I'd like a flip phone just to be like, I'm not going to look at social media for the weekend. I'm just going to have a flip phone so I can receive calls and texts. Can you still use a flip phone? I'm sure you can find a flip phone. Like, does that work still? Those pay-as-you-go phones.

Oh, yeah. Dude, I'm just going to start using one of those from now on. Like, for business, let's just use burner phones. For big old prank calls. We should get a burner phone just for prank calls. have you gotten a burner phone for a prank call before no i should though that's smart i used to love doing prank calls and i was the biggest fear when you're young and doing prank calls is like oh god they're gonna catch me they're gonna call the police and the police are gonna show up and the police are gonna like show up at your house and like arrest you for making prank calls dude i'm sure people have been arrested it's gonna go

on my permanent record. Like I'm going to get like arrested. I mean, I've done my fair share of prank calls in the day. I've, I've, I mean, Google 411,

it's the classic way to do it, which they got rid of it. Cause I think too many people were doing prank calls with it. Guys, word of advice. You want to do prank calls, get a burner phone, non-traceable.

That's why drug dealers use them, but you're using them in a much more wholesome way. So instead of selling drugs, bring laughter and joy to people's yeah you're bringing laughter and joy to yourself and your friends that are sleeping over at your house when you decide to do prank calls that's always when they're ruining the calls and telling you to say stuff even though the other person can hear the now say i know i don't shut up like i got it. Oh, my God. Oh, shit, dude. Dude, speaking of this, I used to, you know, I used to do as a kid. Did you ever go ding dong ditching?

No. It was so much fun. Like, I would just, I wouldn't do it. I would watch my friend do it because my friend would always do crazy stuff. I'm like, I don't want to get in trouble, but I'll watch you. So we'd go around his neighborhood and I'd hide in a tree and I'd watch him run to a house and ring the doorbell and go hide in the bushes. And some just like old man walk out and be like, oh, damn it.

Shut the door. And we go to the next house and do it. And then the cops drove through his street. I remember late at night. Wait, really? Yeah, someone called the cops. Someone called the cops. Well, I mean, also like for people who ding dong ditch, you know, the homeowner might also feel like you're a burglar casing the place.

That could be true because you told me that burglars do do that. Yeah. I put it considerably on a space for two people. Except they don't really ding-dong ditch. They'll just stay there. And if someone opens the door, they'll be like, yeah, lawn service. Oh, it's wrong address. Can I see your card?

Yeah. I've seen videos of people get caught before where they're like saying that they're there to like pick something up or like you're like oh sorry wrong house yeah pretty clever is it the wrong house no oh i saw the best video it was like hey is larry home you know this isn't larry's house i i saw this video where this guy was like trying to open this someone's door and the person just like rips the door open really fast to like catch them and they start running and the guy tackles him He's like dude. I was just trying dude. Listen. I stopped dude, dude. Hold on. Wait. Wait. It's not what it was He's like yeah boy, like slaps him in the face on the ground and he has him like pinned to the ground He's like dude. What the hell?

My door is broken. I was just testing on yours to see if it would work. I see that video. It's so funny. Because I remember that excuse. And he just keeps making excuses. He's like, no, you didn't. It's like, yeah, if my door is broken, I'm going to go to a stranger's door and then start trying to open it to be like. I was just making sure. Yeah, and he says that too.

I love, you always know they're lying because they'll throw two different excuses in. A, I was just making sure yours was working. And then B, I was, then B, mine's broken. Mine's broken, just wanted to make sure yours was okay. Yeah, what a good neighbor. Some guy that he's never seen before trying to make sure his door works. I thought you don't come over and try to... You can't jostle a door open.

Unless it's fucked up. But if a door's locked, you're not going to fucking... This is a shitty made door. What if it was just a really nice guy and he really was just trying to innocently do that. And then this guy beat him up and pinned him to the ground. So his cries of like, dude, what the hell? That was actually real. And he was just a nice guy trying to see if the guy's door was broken.

So he could let him know. Nice guys finish last, dude. That's what they say, man. That's why they'll treat you like trash, you know? I love that he made... Treat you the way they want you to. He made a straight up like incel song. Nigahiga and that...

That other guy. Prissy little white man. Hey, don't talk about me that way. I forgot, like they made like a legitimate like just incel anthem without probably even realizing it back then. Nice guys finish last that's while I'll treat you like trash

it's not what I really want to do. How do we all know that song? Like I didn't even watch that video back then but I just know the song. It is very incel-y. You know? It's like I'm a nice guy why didn't you want to date me? Is that the comedic turn of the song? Is that he's incel-y? I don't remember. Is there even a comedic turn to it?

Or is it literally just about how. Make you go moo's what nigahiga says or ryan higa do you remember when he was he was the king of youtube man he dominated came out with like a 45 minute movie like the like the nigahiga movie where like he he turned out to be a spy or some shit dude did you really just spoil the Negahiga movie? Are you kidding me right now? I came in here to record a podcast and have a good time, and you go spoiling that for me. Dude, remember when Smosh uploaded the Smosh movie,

and it was just them walking around their neighborhood for an hour and 45 minutes? Oh, I do remember that. I got really excited because they teased, like, a Smosh movie, and they uploaded it, and it was like, and then it was just, like, nothing. Well, look at them now. Broken apart, so. And they did make a real movie yeah two wait didn't they make i think they just made one oh i mean they they made like little like series like the show about them working at the kids pizza place yeah which actually turned into a pizzagate thing which was weird that they

took that turn but it wasn't a bad show, you know? Yeah. It's just like, I think when they were intimate, like, this channel was better. Like, when they started seeing other people. Yeah, it was. It was kind of. I don't know. You could definitely tell on camera the time when they were intimate with each other and then the time when they weren't anymore.

It was, like, very visible between the two of them and a little awkward. Yeah, like, the difference between, like, you could tell when they were living together like they would wake up every morning and nuzzle each other's necks and anthony would go can i make another pokemon joke and we go sure baby then he'd go pikachu go poop poop and then ian go that good i'm sorry that's really funny even get out of bed make a pot of coffee for the two of them. He'd bring Anthony breakfast in bed. Give him a little kiss on the nose. He'd give him little Eskimo kisses.

Yeah. And then they'd write a script for the new video. And it would just be so good. But, you know, Anthony. They'd be cackling like a couple of hyenas. Yeah. No more, though. Rest in peace to both of them.

Yeah. It's unfortunate what happened. The whole petrol explosion thing. Yeah. Happens more though. Rest in peace to both of them. It's unfortunate what happened. The whole petrol explosion thing. Happens though. I'm glad Fred's back on top though as number one YouTuber now. What is Fred up to these days? He sold his channel and now kids run it.

It's just kids that make shows and upload them to his channel. And it's called Fred? It's called Fred still, but it's the channel. Is it like the Fred channel? Is it kind of like TBS? TBS isn't a person. It's a channel. Now it's the channel is it like it's not even fred channel is it kind of like tbs as in like tbs isn't a person it's a channel now it's like the fred channel tbs is a mr tbs turner broadcasting something that is name yeah that's his full name his name is turner broadcasting something i had to shoot a promo for turner when i was a kid would be station

turner broadcast station probably The S most likely stands for Station. But I had to I had to shoot a Your load. Yes, but I was in a play. I was also 11 years old at the time. Unable to shoot loads quite yet, but I could shoot

the load of acting. So I was on stage and I was a pirate and they asked me to just say you're watching uh turner something something and i did and then i never saw it because i didn't have cable growing up it's out there somewhere you're a little pirate suit yeah doing a promo for like like a channel bumper for like turner who's turner the channel the network tbs yeah you were on the tbs i don't know if it was tbs. I know that there used to be the Turner channel, or like Turner was a channel or something.

I didn't have cable, so I didn't know. I just knew it was, they came with cameras and did it. Or maybe they were just trying to make us feel more important than we were as kids, so they faked it. Yeah. But, I mean, they were real camera crews. I had to go arg like a pirate or some shit like that, like Captain, I think I was like Captain Hook,

but I had to use my finger as the hook. I don't know, dude. I did a bunch of acting as a kid. It was fun. Like plays, not movies. Wish I'd done movies. That would have been something. But here I am doing Let's Plays.

You were in Rampage. I was, yeah. You did the motion capture for the monkey. I think you're funny, huh? Oh, sorry. The motion capture for the crocodile. I did the motion capture for Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the cg scenes because we have such a similar physique yeah they said duane said i want matthew watson to be my mocap model for the cg scenes i did the score for that movie so it was really

fucking good you outdid yourself with that one people said it was like han zimmer but not stupid and fucking dumb you know han zimmer doesn't actually make his own music. That was a really cold attack on Hans Zimmer. I'm just going to let you know. I'm not saying he's a person. I'm saying my music, if you were to compare his music to mine, it would be awful.

Oh, it is. I actually found out that apparently he doesn't make any of the music. Basically, he goes on Fuity loops and like hires some interns he just uses built-in loops on fruity loops people haven't caught him yet um he actually i'm pretty sure other people make it and they just pay to put the name on it the hon zimmer name really so he has like ghost music makes that like public yeah i'm pretty sure it is i don't remember who told me that but apparently he just doesn't make his own music

anymore. He just kind of like it's a brand. The Hans Zimmer brand. Except John Williams actually does do the scores for shit. John Williams, classic. Yeah, John Williams? He does stuff for like little kids TV shows every now and then too. Really?

Yeah. Look at his like IMDB page. It's like chock full of shit. Maybe not little kid shows but also maybe. Who knows. They might be giants got really into making kids music. Who might be giants? They might be giants. Who? They. Those two guys in the back of the room looking at us?

Yeah. Go away. They're like they're eight foot and they look yeah. Yeah but they made um they made like a lot of seriously get the fuck out seriously you guys are weird you're freaking me out go you're too tall go walk away all right thank you yeah shut the door behind you don't don't don't hit yourself on the way out um they might be giants to the theme song for malcolm in the middle and they started doing like mickey's clubhouse or something and they have made whole albums for kids, like just kids music about like science.

And now they won't play their most treasured song at any concert. Yeah, I saw them live and I was just praying they would play the Malcolm Middle theme song and they didn't play it. And I was like, man, that's an American classic. Did you hear that they were like tired of it or something? No, I just don't. Maybe it's like a licensing issue or they don't want to be known just for that. I don't know.

I get that. It's a great, it's a good song, the full song. I know all the words to the full Malcolm the Middle theme song. Little Matt Watson trivia. Now go. Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. And you're not boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. And you're not so big. You're not. I'll skip this part. You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now.

And you're not so big. Life is unfair. But I. Hold on. Let me do a different part. Life is a test. But I confess. I like this mess I've made so

far. Is that a banjo? It was the little like, it sounds like a banjo. It's the thing they do. It's like, you know what I'm talking about? The organ thing was like, I don't know how to describe it with my mouth.

There's only so much my mouth can do in terms of musical instruments. You're telling me. Stop. Cut it out. There's only so much my mouth can do in terms of you're telling me stop cut it out there's only so much my mouth can do in terms of musical instruments you're telling me but he's gonna flash the fucking beta male smile at me you're just like man i just gotta break him real quick to snap him out yeah dude it's like it's like are you sitting there silently i know if i well usually it's like a test to see like is it still gonna get them and i'll flash the beta male smile and then you just i get that it's almost like it's like an instant gratification thing i want to hear that ryan mcgee laugh so i just there it is yeah i

got a little one see it's like it's like it's like's, you know how they gave crows, like, some system where it's like, if they put a coin in a machine, it would give them food, and they figured it out, and they did it until they ran out of food? Yeah. I'm like that crow that just figured out I could put that coin in that machine. That's such a cool video. It is pretty crazy. I think it's a raven.

Ravens, yeah. Ravens are also fucking smart. They actually taught Raven Simone how to put a coin into a machine. That was a good one, dude. Thanks, man. I really liked that one. I brought my egg in. I really did like that one.

Oh, my penis is chubby. I did it again. Moment of silence. Flash the beta male smile. You actually started laughing before I really started. Did you know it was coming? Yeah, of course. How'd you know it was coming?

Because you could see the tension in your mouth, like in your face. Like the muscles. You can tell by the look in your eyes when you're thinking of something. It's like the look a young child who's playing with like a tortured frog or animal would look at it you're like okay i'm gonna try this now you could use it like you know how when someone's lying you can see it on their face you can use an example like that is that a personal example do you torture frogs as a kid no there it is ryan was laughing because he actually did do the torture the frogs and he was lying yeah you're right i did it's a fact i fucked them too they deserved it fuck frogs

i'll just lean into it 100 sure i mean i killed and fucked frogs and I mean it completely derailed my uh the joke I was making on you like I was like well I don't have anything to say anymore you're like oh you fuck them too you stole my ammo and you multiplied it but you aimed it at yourself and then I got hit in a crossfire so

it's like I took a loaded 12 gauge shotgun put it in my mouth blew my brains out and skull fragments clipped your cheeks. Pretty much. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. You want to test that out?

Sure. Super mega vlog? Mythbusters. All right. So. Here it comes. Today on Mythbusters, we're going to see if. Well, first of all, let me start by saying God's not real.

I'm a proud atheist. Second thing, let me leak these photos of myself fingering my ass online. Did he leak those himself? No, they just got leaked. Why was he fingering his asshole? I guess he's into that. Nothing wrong with a finger in the pooper. Listen, it helps sometimes.

Sure, of course. I'm not saying from personal. I'm just saying a lot of people are into it. Not personal. Okay. I mean, be proud of it. I'm proud of it. Aaron talks about it.

Yeah. Aaron says, you know what? Sometimes a finger in the butt will make you go nut. I came up with that rhyme. Five in the pink. Ten in the pink. Ten in the pink butt. Twenty.

You got your feet in there, too. You got to get like a... Forty in the pink? 10 in the pink. 20? You got your feet in there, too? You gotta get like a... 40 in the stink, dude. You're just hanging out of there like this. You don't have 40 digits, though. Like your hog died. How do you have 40 digits? What are you talking about?

You said 40. Yeah. Count your toes in front of me. You're gonna be with me, dude. Oh, I am, too? Yeah, you're like... I thought you were talking about yourself, and I was like, we don't have 40 fingers. No, like both of us dangling

from someone's, dude. Oh, both of us hanging like bats from someone's asshole. Yeah, dude. That's hilarious. Listen, if someone's got an ass, I'd be willing to try that. I would definitely try that. It's a lot of weight to carry though. How's everybody doing? Yeah, you're gonna get a response, Ryan.

We just hear someone hiding. Good. Sorry, I just wanted to observe the podcast recording. Also, apparently it blows people's minds when they find out we don't record this sitting across from each other at a table. We're just on the same couch. Wait, what do you mean? Does it actually blow people's minds? People are like, I thought you guys were at a table this whole time.

Oh, because of Don's animation? Yeah, the drawing. No, we're just in a well-lit room sitting on the same tan couch. Describe it. It's like a very boxed-in couch. The arms... I like it. I like the fact that it's boxed in. The armrests of the couch are as high as the back of the couch, so it's like a box

with one wall taken down. And then it's really soft. It's a really nice couch. I really do love this. Have you ever taken a nap on this couch? Yes, multiple times. It's so nice. You come in here, you put the AC on. Put the AC on, turn off all the lights. Except for one. No, no, that one actually works really well. Those two in the corner

work as a nice ambient just to create a nice little thing. And also, if you're down for it, you can bring your little personalized speaker or turn on some music. Do you sleep with white noise? I have to sleep with something going on. Yeah?

I hate having to fall asleep to silence. Really? So either if... I'll either put some YouTube video on that I see is longer than 20 or 30 minutes to make sure it's still playing when I'm going to bed because sometimes it takes me a bit, or I'll turn on this super loud-ass box fan

that I have in my room. That's the best. I gotta sleep with a fan. fan that i have in my room that's the best i gotta sleep with a fan i don't have to but it's like i prefer a loud ass like yeah but every now and then it'll fuck me up because it's actually like so loud and to the right just the right volume level or decibel where it's like i don't hear my alarm in the morning sometimes and i'll wake up and I'll be well rested the moment I wake up and I'm well rested something is wrong I realize that

like I'm like oh I feel good then I'm like fuck why do I feel good like I shouldn't feel good I feel like I got a full night's sleep exactly dude I like my like I hate when you sleep through your alarm I did it this morning so I set my alarm for 8.50 and I was like I'll snooze for 10 minutes and wake up at 9 i woke up and my alarm was going off and it was 10 a.m and

i was like fuck i'm supposed to be at work right now and then uh like when you wake up to a phone call from like someone that you work with and then you realize what time it is you're like uh-oh do i make an excuse or do i just say I slept in by accident? There's nothing you can do if you slept in by accident. I know. Can, can you really get, can I get punished for it?

Yes. Yeah, I can. It's my, it's my alarm clock's fault though. Not me. Yeah. How do you,

how do I sleep through my, like, how do I turn my alarm off? Not hit snooze, but turn my alarm off. Like without remembering I did that. Cause I was so tired. Like my brain is supposed to know, Oh, the lights are on now and the alarm's going off i had blackout curtains so oh yeah i

probably need to cut that shit out the moment okay here's the thing when i used to have blackout curtains or i still do but when i have them all the way drawn it's hard for me to get up but in the mornings if i have them if i have to make sure the sunlight gets in my body will get it will get a taste of that circadian rhythm. Was that what it's called? Circadian rhythm, yeah. Yeah, it'll get a taste of that sunlight and a little bit. Some magic happens where my body wakes up a little more naturally.

Well, I don't think even, like, I feel like it's, I don't think it's healthy to sleep with blackout curtains apparently because it's like it fucks with your, because your body needs the light to like gradually and naturally know when it's time to wake up. Yeah joke because of blackout curtains i have slept until 6 p.m it happened recently didn't it okay well i was two weeks three weeks ago yeah yeah i slept it was on the weekend so no harm no foul it was saturday and i slept until 6 p.m and my day was ruined like it feels nice in the moment kind of when you're like oh i'm sleeping so long so long. It's like, what am I going to do? Stay up till 2 and then try to go to bed but not be able to because I've only been awake for half of the day? Yeah, but then you wake up at 6 and then you get out of bed for the first time. And you feel like garbage.

Like, sleeping that long, you never feel good. You feel just as bad, if not worse, as if you didn't get enough sleep. You know what, Matt? What? I want you to take me through an average work week morning waking up waking up is you what do you what's your average wake up during the weekday like okay uh well i'm supposed to wake up at nine to be you don't have to include times to make to make it to get us in trouble with with our jobs we can just say our actions sure i wake up at a reasonable

time i wake up i thank god i'm alive because in my sleep i could have died that's a that's from a guy i used to work with at chick-fil-a who made christian rap i'll go into that in a little bit just remind me yeah first of all um basically i uh i wake up hit snooze on my alarm three or four slap that shit you're like i go well i purposely set i have alarms you've seen it i have like five different alarms for the morning because i'm like i want to i want my body to be kind of woken up at this time and then i want to slowly gradually wake myself up to where it's like i actually have names for it let me show you let me show you mate apparently i think snoozing actually makes it harder to wake up but i still do it anyway i'm like ah just it'll feel

it's it's it's one of those like well i just do it to make sure i wake up because i don't if i don't have five alarms look I have my first alarm is called Rise and Shine with a little sunshine emoji. That's cute. Second alarm is Please Get Up. My next alarm is Seriously Get Up. The other one is Wake the Fuck Up. And then the last one

is Get to Work, Cunt. Oh yeah, you really just drive it at home. I like how much it increases you. With a little angry emoji. Oh yeah, I mean that's it i i like how it the first one is like rise and shine i know smiling and then the lap con i know the last one is just get to work cunt yeah i i should do that so when the because i like when i'm so sleepy i guess i i lose track of time and like i don't really gauge like how late into the hour or two hour period it is before i'm at work but that's a good way to do it because i'll be like oh i set this when i was

awake sober not sleep drunk yeah it's like i swear sleep drunkness is real because i'll just like turn my alarm off like whatever and and and you can set it so it's every weekday so you can just turn that on that's what i do i't have to turn it off until it's on. See, I have my alarm go off at a certain time, and then I just keep hitting snooze, and that doesn't work, because I can just always keep hitting snooze. I'm just going to do that instead. Yeah. But basically, I wake up once I roll out of bed. Okay.

Some mornings, I get out of bed a little too late, and I got to rush to work, so I don't have time to shower. But usually, what I do is get up. You like to shower in the morning. I do. It refreshes me i start the day off right you know i can i could style my hair from from a clean slate i get up i uh get in the shower i bathe myself do you dance i do a little dance make a little love get down tonight there it is i uh get out make myself usually before i get in the shower i'll get the

coffee brewing. So then when I get out, it's cooled down a little bit so it's not piping hot. Drink a little bit of covfefe. Then I'll get dressed. You'll put on a dress? I put on my work dress. And then I basically, from there, depending on the time, maybe I'll chill on the couch for a little bit, read the news. Text some people, whatever.

Go on Reddit, something like that. Watch some Super mega um that's funny that's a funny channel it's a great channel and then variety channel it's a great variety channel yeah from that point on then i will just get my car keys go to my car and then uh start the long drive to work so okay then i get in Brent goes hey supposed to be at work two hours ago and I'm like yeah about that shut up you old fogey and then you

spit a spitball at him and then you throw a brick through his glass window on his office shatters his glass table as well you know

men who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones Brent that's all I'll say about that that sounds like a decent morning during the weekday

yeah it is I do go hunting on Wednesdays okay for what things like what anything living in the woods like animals living things yeah what about the

Christian rap dude you were talking about earlier I worked with this guy and he I found he worked in the

kitchen and I found out he produced his own Christian rap and he had an album that he burned to some CDs a CD-ROM

as the kids called it not a CD so like a CD-R we're talking or cd dash wr or rw rw for rewrite yep so it was it was it was an r well if it was rewritable why wouldn't it be rr that's a joke anyways go on no it wasn't um then how did i catch it because you realized your mistake very soon after.

Mm-hmm. Yep. It's the beta male smile. He's doing it, folks. Got a little laugh. I'm scared you're going to become immune to it. Anyway. You throw me one more beta male smile, I'll make this recording session hell.

God damn it, Ryan. Why did you have to do that? I do that yeah I didn't know what that meant I warned you that's not fair I warned you completely and it was up to you to test if that hits me if that comes over here I'm getting out of the room it might not even smell in fact it's just staying in my pants because it shot out like as quick as a bullet like 300 feet per second i can smell it now is it bad should i you'll live i'm gonna cover up my coffee so that your ass particles don't infest my coffee okay but basically he made christian rap and he he gave my friend uh jose one of the cds and we played it in the car and we were just blown away by how great it was yeah how great it was and um how much closer it made you feel to god yeah there were four tracks on the album

and do you remember the titles i do but i also sorry the track i do but i don't necessarily want to give too much info because i don't want people to go uh you know try to um i just don't people harassing him because he was a nice guy and uh he's doing his own thing and i respect that matt what did we learn about nice guys they finish last yeah so and they see that's why i don't want him to get harassed yeah i don't want to just send a no i 100 get it yeah but i remember there was one song that starts and and it starts kind of deep. And he says, God placed this on my heart. But he kind of slurs his words, so it sounds exactly like he says, God pisses on my heart.

He's like, God pisses on my heart. And, like, every time I hear it, damn, I just want to talk about, like, the song. Because I actually know almost all the words to one of them. And by doing so, I would reveal, like, people would be able to look it up. But, damn, it's good. I don't know where my CD is now. Next time I go to Charleston for Christmas. not even listening to it on the road have i ever played it for you yeah yeah yeah i played a few we're in columbia yeah it's it's good it's good shit you liked it right how could you describe it if you had to describe it so people can get a better picture i mean maybe i could ask him i could i could hit him up and be like hey can i share your music on twitter god Twitter then he's gonna go to our channel and he's gonna see us

like kinda I'm not making fun of him at all it's interesting music and it was very my high school years I played that a shit ton driving into work my friend Jose and I we would blast that out of our cars like pulling into work and shit and I knew it was gonna be a good day when I got on

to work and I saw Jose pulling up blasting And I knew it was going to be a good day when I got on to work. And I saw Jose pulling up blasting that. I'm like, it's going to be a good nine-hour shift. And we played on our phones. We were back in the kitchen and stuff. I remember he wanted me to make a music video. He really wanted me to make a music video for all of his songs. And he wanted a four-song music video.

Why didn't you ask him to perform it live at Chick-fil-A? He did. He did it at a barbershop or something. Wait, what? Yeah, I yeah i was gonna go jose and i were gonna go but uh we fell through i don't think it actually happened you fell through what does that mean no i think like the we fell through a floor okay there it is yeah you like that it's good right i don't think i i think he like it got canceled or something but uh-huh damn it was good It was really good stuff. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well.

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this is part of the ad read now me undies is paying for this time where you're fighting me over this okay me undies here we go giving you a fucking ad read. Are you happy, guys? Is this what you wanted? MeUndie honestly is the best, though. They send us free underwear every month. I love MeUndies. And I absolutely love MeUndies. Oh, God.

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Wish you would turn my calls. I think you should start skateboarding. It's just a word of advice from me. I think it would be cool for you. Is this just a random fucking thing i'm starting it's called starting the conversation on a podcast okay okay there you know what we're not talking about skateboards then they're not cool enough start rollerblading what a fucking off-hand way to start a conversation you know what matt you look like you like water parks i I do like water parks. There it is. What? I do. That's not a joke.

I love water parks. No, I know you do. But I'm just saying. It's like the difference. It's like you should snow. You should skateboard, right? And then just silence. And then just, man, you look like the kind of guy that loves water parks.

Dude, I fucking do. We got to hit up a water park as soon as it's warm. Can we? Can we film a vlog at a water park? Yeah, I'd want to do that song. Take some GoPros. Can we break in a water park during the winter it's warm. Can we film a vlog at a water park? Yeah, I'd want to do that song, take some GoPros. Can we break in a water park during the winter and slide down the frozen slides? Fuck yeah, that'd be so sick.

Oh god, that would... It'd be like... Die! You know those videos? We'd shoot out of there. There'd be no water to slow us down, only ice to make us go faster. It's like those videos where the guys go down the water slides with no water when it's closed and they like slam into the pool, like the dry pool. Would you ever go down the water slides with no water when it's closed and they like slam into the pool

Like the dry pool would you do would you ever go down a water slide with no water at the bottom? No, why not? Cuz if you if you if you fucking yeah Come on crack crack I flashed you the smile. I saw you had to squint your eyes. You're using a lot this time I flashed you the smile I saw you had to squint your eyes You're using it a lot this time Usually you only pull it out once every few podcasts Now you're doing it multiple times in one No

No okay She got a little bit of a chuckle I got it it's just fun for me It's how I get pleasure It's the only way my brain can get dopamine These days Family reunions No dude honestly All the pussy you get there dude It's the only way my brain can get dopamine these days. Family reunions. No, dude.

Honestly, like... All the pussy you get there, dude. What if I went to one of your family reunions and just, like, in the span of the week and just fucked, like, every one of your cousins? All but one are men, so... That's a lot, though. That's a lot of cousins to fuck yeah I'm in your family not mine are you into men? am I into men?

yeah no are you in men? yeah you came out of your dad yeah that's pretty gay isn't it but my dad was never inside of me yeah same isn't it like very if you think about it Ryan you're gay because you came out of your dad's nuts no you ever thought about that? Ryan, you're gay because you came out of your dad's nuts.

No. You ever thought about that? No. Yeah, you're gay. No I'm not! Boys, what's going on in here? Dad, is it true I came out of your nuts? You fucking piece of shit, Dad!

Son! Fuck you! That's how you were made! Ugh! Now can I see them? I want to see where i came out of i want to see my my grassroots beginning oh here you go son here's my nuts oh oh they're so goddamn fucking awesome like tears like so awesome god i came out of there i'm gonna keep like in my

bedroom wall like the house I live or like the dorm I had in college the house I grew up in and then my dad's nuts and it's like these are all the places I grew up and came from small beginnings you know on like Wikipedia how it usually starts with their birth

I wish every article started with like George Washington came out of his dad's nutsack on this day he was then born like where they would include the day of conception i was about to say like everyone like like that'd be funny for like talk about the day jesus came out of uh joseph's nutsack but he didn't because uh i just peed myself oh, there's a lot of pee. Wow. You're fine. Just sit in it for a bit.

It'll dry. Um, I really do want to make a sketch where Mary is just trying to convince Joseph. She's like, no, God. God got me pregnant. And he's, like, at the bar with his friends. He's like, yo, your girl said what? He's like, yeah, she said God got her pregnant. Dude, I just, like, that's really funny to me.

That Joseph was cucked by God? God cucked Joseph. Well, in this theoretical of why it's so funny, God's not real. And she came up with a religion just to hide the fact that she cheated on her fiance. No, dude, what if, like, Jesus his whole life, like, just to avoid the truth coming out, she had to tell her child he was the son of God. You're the son of God. From the time he was born, you believe that?

You're the son of God. So in the end, he was killed and crucified just because his mom cheated on her husband. Well, that's what the Jewish people believe. There's 100% what the Jewish people have to believe. Actually, anyone that's not a Christian, that's what they believe, I guess. No, Muslims believe in Jesus and that he died for all of our sins. Okay, well, I think that it's just so funny that like... God got me pregnant.

Do you think he just accepted it to make his life easier? Or do you think he had some doubts? Like, God knocked you up, huh? Dude, Mary could have been an ugly person. She could have been gross. She could have had five horns. I don't want you ten eyes of the virgin mary two big noses two big noses two are they like next to each other it was like one on the back no

one's on the back of her fucking head and then her mouth is the size of a of a can of beans like it protrudes out oh like like in a character creator if you could pull the mouth forward yeah forward to the amount of a that would amount to the size of a can of beans horizontally yes okay that's a big mouth man if you look if you look like that maybe he was like so that means the jewish people believe poor j man. He only thought he was the son of God because his mom cheated and then just taught him that from birth. So he truly believed it. And in the end, he got him killed. This podcast is going to make your mom cry.

Mom, I'm not saying I believe this. I'm just saying what if this is the hypothetical, you know? What if the... Mom, I'm just talking about what the Jewish people believe. Okay? So don't get mad at me. In the Jewish Bible bible it it says what about the muslim bible we just call everything the blank bible

buddhist bible muslim bible scientology bible they all have their own bible they all have their own special book i seriously think we should sell super is it part of a series yeah is it all it all takes place in the same universe. It's like an anthology series where you learn the story of Christianity and then you read the Jewish people's side of the story and it's like, he wasn't the Messiah? So we're all still fucked? Well, I'm pretty sure.

Isn't that just the Old Testament? Huh? Well, they also have other teachings other than the New Testament and Judaism. They have separate beliefs than Christianity in general. They just use the Old Testament like that's the Torah. Yeah. But they have other teachings other than the New Testament and Judaism. They have separate beliefs than Christianity in general. They just use the Old Testament like that's the Torah. Yeah, but like they have other teachings and stuff that are separate from that of Christianity or else we'd have... No, they believe Christ is Lord, right? No.

What do you mean? Jews don't believe in Christ? Dude, if we just took a step out, you know, you got Judaism, got that one old good old testament, and you got Christianity, we got that new testament. Got that new testament, baby. Then we got Mormonism, which has the new new testament. Then we have, uh... McGeeism, which has the new new new testament. Which has the only testament.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's just, it's it's just it's just these nuts over and over and over again if you wrote your own bible i don't know what that's not a hypothetical that's just like what if you wrote your own bible what i meant to say was what would you teach in it if you wrote your own bible ryan how to just just live a chill life don't don't uh smoke cigarettes drink milk yeah are those the commandments yeah two commandments two commandments smoke cigarettes drink milk yeah don't spill milk on your laptop don't spill milk on the day of the sabbath otherwise you're going straight to hell so oh i got this shit off Amazon.

Check this out. It's these time-changing crystals that lets you travel through time. Uh-huh. It basically, it will send us to an alternate timeline. Can I rub them together? No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh, nothing happened. Just don't fuck around with these crystals, man. I won't. Serious shit. Okay. You know how much money these cost? I drained the bank account for these because it's a business expense.

Your bank account or the Super Mega Bank account? Man, that's my money too. We can use them for the business. I talked about it on the podcast. That's a business expense. Yeah, right. Ryan, did you hear about Soulja Boy's new gaming console? I did. new gaming console i did and i also saw that like in a weird thing like danny brown streamed himself

dancing to the dream daddy music yeah yeah yeah so like it's a it's a it's a kind of a big confusing time isn't it yeah you got soldier boy with his own game console because i saw that on twitter but i didn't click it did you read up on it it? Yeah, I did. What's the deal with it? So Soulja Boy just bought this. Up in this O. He goes on like Alibaba or something and he buys these little like cheap Chinese emulator. Like, you know those like knockoff game consoles that are like 30 games in one.

Yeah. He just bought those and he's just selling them as the Soulja Boy console. But like we could do it and have the same console as him, but just the super mega console. But he was tweeting how he's trying to make moves in the tech industry and stuff. Yeah, I got my own video game console. I can play up to 30 games. YouTube.com slash Soulja Boy.

I love Soulja Boy, though, for real. He's such an idol of mine. He asked me out to dinner last week, but I said no, I got plans. You should have said yeah, man. No, Josh Brolin wants to have a dinner party. To reschedule with Soldier Boy? Nah. I got to touch him.

I touched him. I touched his Gucci bag. This is real. You actually got to touch him. I really have touched Soldier Boy. I was front row at a concert. Very, very front row. And I reached up and he touched my hand

and I touched his Gucci bag. Really expensive. I love that shirt. You like this shirt? Yeah, I saw the material on it. Did you see my face become perplexed when I was staring at it? A little bit.

I was like, hmm. I got a terrible headache today. Yeah, I got one forming. Yeah, I got it. Right now I'm in the stage of the headache where it's like it's birthing, so like your whole head just, it doesn't hurt, but your whole head feels like a brick. Like you can feel how solid your head is.

Oh, I know that. It doesn't feel very open for thought. Ryan. What? Speaking of solid. And my name's Ryan, not Brian. Let's get that straight. I said Ryan.

I didn't say Brian. Okay? I'm sorry people have been calling you Brian because I know it upsets you, but you don't have to take it out on me. Sorry, all this talk. I thought I just saw Ninja Brian over in the corner over there. What? No, no, no. I didn't see it. I didn't see him.

You scared the fuck out of me, dude. I didn't see him. Holy shit, man. I thought I saw him. Sorry. I'm saying I didn't see him. Holy shit, man. I thought I saw him. Sorry.

But I was saying all this talk about Soldier Boy's big moves in the tech industry got me thinking about StockX. Can you and I... Oh. Oh, yeah. I'll say what I was going to bring up after this ad read. Ever wonder how to get the hottest new sneakers? The ones that barely hit shelves? The answer is StockX,

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Tell them the other deals you can get. It even allows you to buy and sell pre-owned, excellent condition luxury handbags and watches from brands like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci, Rolex, Omega. Damn. Now listen to this s***. StockX uses the same principles as the stock market to make buying and selling as safe and easy as possible. Whoa!

That sounds cool. StockX also provides real-time market data for intelligent buying and selling. That worked out perfectly. Best of all, StockX has removed all risk from buying and selling online. There's total anemone between buyer and seller. StockX is in the middle. She never have to deal with the random buyer or seller again. What's all these people

getting in our shit? What's he doing? What's Brent doing? What's Brent looking at us? He's looking at me. He looks angry. Did I do something? Brent, we're doing an ad read. Yeah. Do you want to say how great StockX is? Yeah, Brent says he uses it all the time so you can go to stock x.com slash megacast what is it ryan that's stock x.com slash megacast

brent says that he loves his new pair of yeezys and new jordans you got it ryan guess what guess what freaking comes out tonight or guess what's at the time of this drop of the podcast guess what's out Avengers 4 no Super Smash Brothers Ultimate for Nintendo Switch

and what I'm more excited for call me a fool but it's my favorite game series besides Animal Crossing Katamari Reroll for the Switch would you say it goes my favorite game series besides animal crossing katamari re-roll for the switch would you say it goes animal crossing katamari and then pikmin animal crossing and katamari are like i've never been able to decide i'd probably have to say animal crossing but katamari is right i don't know dude it's too fucking hard because every time i start thinking about i start thinking about how much i shut up every time i start thinking about I start thinking about how much I Shut up! Every time I start thinking about how much I like Animal Crossing

I think about Katamari and then I think about those memories And they feel fond but I'm like Do the Animal Crossing memories feel fonder But then I'm like but Katamari means so much To me I just don't fucking know Honestly Animal Crossing probably is a little Bit higher up than Katamari

I'm sorry it is I don't know but Katamari just is so much more unique. Where you taking? Fuck. What are you on, dude? Can I get some? Got a bottle that I can chuck in my mouth? What if I just had a mental breakdown? Like that was what triggered it. Dude, my doctor, he prescribes me like these, these dissolvable bottles, so I can just take the

whole bottle at once. That's not safe, Ryan. Of what? What? Bottle of what? Bottle of medicine. That's what he said. That's what he said.

I'm gonna prescribe you this bottle of medicine. Just general pills. Don't mind the effects. Doctor, can I get some drugs? Yeah, just some general drugs. There you go. I'll prescribe you three drugs. Thanks, doc.

I'm sick. Well, here's some drugs to make you better. Here's a bottle of medicine. It has like the skull and crossbones on it. I was at a party this weekend and uh we were just doing drugs just general drugs you know yeah we just had a bag of general drugs and just so who brought the drugs

uh just like it's just like generic pills like whenever you look up drugs on google images it's like a it's like a really well taken photo but it's all just like prescription like meds like a really well-taken photo, but it's all just prescription meds.

It's like a picture of ibuprofen. Yeah, it's just like a bunch of pills. The ibuprofen I have... Notice how they don't put alcohol or cigarettes on there. I'm trying to actually... I don't know. I say this a lot, but I'm trying to quit drooling now.

I haven't done it today. Good, you should. But the ibuprofen... Ooh, nicotine withdrawal. Maybe that's why I have this headache. Dude, nicotine withdrawal fucking sucks, dude. Well, I'm about to find out. Yeah, you'll get headaches, you'll get irritable.

I know the irritability. I get really pissed off at small things. But I'm logically like... Like what? If I just beat your ass for that because logically I'm like I shouldn't be getting mad right now but then I'm still getting mad and then that makes me more mad knowing that no but I have these the ibuprofen I have

at my house looks like a cartoon drug because it's half red half blue like pill capsules from CVS it's like their generic brand works works pretty well i guess though works as good as regular drugs we should sell drugs on our merch store how long would it take for us to get like taken down if we just opened up on our merch store and just sold like drugs i don't know it seems like it's like that's when we're down on our down on our luck you know like when actors do those commercials for like stupid products

when they're down on their luck. Jamie Lee Curtis doing Activia. Yeah. Could you imagine if presidents started doing that shit? I'm George W. Bush and I approve ibuprofen. Rest in peace, daddy. That was a sad speech he gave.

When he cried? Well, the whole thing. But yes, also when he cried well the whole thing but yes also when he cried it really choked me up when he started crying i was like oh man that's sad yeah i'm like seeing anyone cry yeah especially you ryan he's buried both of his parents yes in one year i mean usually that happens though when your parents are old one dies the other one usually goes pretty quick after notice how george bush got to speak and jeb bush took the mothers that's all i'm saying you know old jeb is mommy's favorite yeah so she needed she needed him to be there isn't he not yeah didn't she like say he was like i'm mother's favorite and she's like no you're not jab

like in like an interview when he was running for president or something You're not, champ. Like in an interview when he was running for president or something. Dude, I saw this video and you know what the best cringe I've found is? What? When people... Early Super Mega? Yes. When we were in our edgy phase? Yes.

But that's not what I'm talking about. Okay. I'm talking about the type of cringe where someone uploads it to like r slash cringe, but the video isn't cringe. It's their perception of it that becomes cringe because like there was this dude and I got to show you this video. I got to find it because it is bonkers. My bro is a banana.

Bazong goes Boingo bonkers. bro is it banana bongos bonkers I was trying to come up with like a Ryan McGee it didn't really work it's fine it's fine yeah this dude he's like so he titles the thing like jealous Vietnamese co-worker beats girl for talking to

foreigner and like yeah that dude does do that and you see the beginning of the video and i gotta show you this hold on it's just how persistent he is with this girl because this dude traveled to vietnam because you'll see you'll see you'll see matt and you'll help explain it to people but i'm using my stupid fucking phone. I'll try to turn that down. In 2014, I went to Vietnam and met a Vietnamese girl.

I liked her because she was so short. She liked me because she said I was funny. We met many times during my stay. I left Vietnam eventually and we lost contact. Meaning she stopped responding. Two years later, I returned to Vietnam. Imagine two years later. I went looking for her at the same local market. After one hour of looking, I saw her.

Oh. Now he's got his camera out. He's walking. Hold on. Oh, that's weird. That is creepy! Wait, he gets like, super pushy later? Oh, god damn it!

Oh, look at Mr. Doesn't-Know-How-To-Work-His-Brand-New-Cell-Phone. Oh, shut up. No, I'm trying to get your number, dude. I'm trying to get your, so I can leave. Do you understand? Ugh. This is awkward as hell. The whole thing imagines me as just like, look, I'm trying to get your number, and she's like, I don't... Like, he flies to Vietnam just to find one girl

he hasn't talked to in two years that he met at a market? Dude, we were just talking about stalkers in an episode of Pokemon don't do that, but he's this dude He's like Thai girlfriend Mad mad I poo poo in the water This is this is weird this channel is this kind of gets to give me like a weird vibe what it is He's got money to travel apparently though Thai women meet half bearded foreigner like he's like it's all about like

Thai woman, Thai woman this and it's just a whole channel like with this weird dude or just these weird videos We'll upload Thai- we'll upload foreigner asks out Thai woman and it's Ryan going up to a Thai woman and going Hey, you want to go out on a date? And she goes, no. And then Ryan goes, you sure? And she goes, yes. And he goes, okay. And then he walks away. But we'll use his intro for his videos.

Thai girl wants my rainbow horn in Bangkok. What? Big black Bangkok's for sale. I get it, dude. I totally get it. Oh my God. Do you get it? i totally get it oh my god do you get it no what is it oh oh oh man that's funny dog dog that's so funny can't get white girls that's another video of his but like i don't understand like does he pay for these? Whoa!

Holy shit! Holy shit, the crystals worked! That's us, dude, damn! Holy shit, Matt, that's us. Hey, Matt Ryan, what's up? Is that me? That's us, dude, that's you and me. Oh shit.

Hey, dude! That was like 20 minutes ago. Holy shit. What's up, you guys wanna go get a beer? Yeah, sure. All right, let's go guys, come on. Let's go, let's grab a brew. Oh man, this is so fucking cool.

How was the time travel, boys? Deez nuts. That's a good one, dude.