supermegashow - EP 125 - Calling Out The Amish

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

It's a bit of a shorter podcast, but we still make time to talk about Matt being sick, the government shutdown and the Amish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Are you ready for a blast from the past? Yeah. A shorter podcast? No! It's too bad! Ryan, I don't want a shorter podcast.

Well, it's not my decision. It's our decision. But I'm taking the heat on this one. So make sure to complain a lot at Eli Ryan McGee on Tumblr. I actually, well, this will be a bit of a shorter podcast. Don't worry. We're not going to start making them shorter. But we both have to get somewhere very soon.

And, you know, I was sick. And I also have to edit this before, you know, I leave. Oh, true, true. So we really need to. This isn't going to be like a, you know. We've got to crank it out. We're cranking that podcast generator. And it's because I've been sick this week.

You have. You've been fucking like, you were like, Ryan, I can't make it in. First of all, I just texted you and I said, hey, I'm sick. We got to move recording to tomorrow. I never called you. Two days in a row you did. Yeah, I got sick twice. I got sick once.

It just lasted two days. Let me see. I'm going to look up that text where you told me you were sick. Scroll past all the nudes I sent you. Yeah, but we were supposed to record a couple days ago. So the podcast would be out. That's also why it's a day late because I've been sick and I just got better. It could have been, you know know i woke up and i went and it could have been because i woke up at 6 a.m that morning just ate a bunch of cotton candy can you upload mafia city when you get in

it's in my let's play folder yeah want to move recording then i'm i'm gonna still try to come in later and then then I did. Then you went, yeah, tomorrow? Then I went, sounds good. Then you went, sorry. And then the next day, still sick. Fuck. I guess record tomorrow.

You can prop stay home. But if you do go in, I can still come in later to at least do the podcast i mean that didn't happen oh yeah is that how i sound in your head yeah brian is that how i sound every time i text you yeah every you're just malnourished 24 7 i am malnourished dude you get horrible sleep you're always complaining about how bad you feel. Well, maybe if I didn't wake up at 6 a.m. to eat half a bag of cotton candy, I wouldn't throw up at 8 a.m. You'd eat half a bag of cotton candy. What time did you wake up to do that? So listen, I don't know why.

I'm listening, bro. I don't know what's wrong with my body, but I'm not that hungry throughout the day. But come 5 or 6 a.m., my eyes open like like like steel doors like damn and i'm like i have to eat i'm so fucking hungry and i'll come out of bed in this like groggy sleepy state and and the only thing in my mind is like i'm like i need nourishment i need sustenance so i'll go for whatever's in my cabinets and i remember cotton candy boom bada bing it tastes like apples i went to six flags like two days prior and I bought a big-ass bag of cotton candy.

Yeah, and it was on my bedside table. So I just opened it and I was like, I'm so sleepy and I'm like, cotton candy, fuck yeah. And I'm just sitting up in bed just fucking going to town on this bag of cotton candy. Two hours later I wake up out of my mouth and then I was like, oh, I really feel like shit. So probably

they might have been correlated. Matt, there's an easy solution. What? When you wake up next time, your eyes shoot open, those steel doors of yours, they shoot open, and they reveal those encrusted blueberries, because you have them sleep in your eyes. Oh, okay.

You know, instead of getting cotton candy, you could get on your phone and order some Postmates. Get a nice nutritional meal delivered right to your door. That was good. That's where, that's, so let's talk about Postmates now. I can get a mirror? A what? I can get a mirror?

I corrected myself mid-word. You could probably order a mirror on Postmates, though. You can order a meal. I corrected myself. Can we continue the ad read now? Other than your absolute best friends or stepdad, who could you ask to bring you red wine at 4 p.m., sushi at 9 p.m., and a breakfast burrito at 7 a.m.?

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That's right. Just use the code SuperMega. All caps. I believe it's case sensitive. I think it is. So all caps. Also, that was by far the most straightforward ad read we've ever done. Wow. I'm sure everyone in the audience was like, wow, good job, guys. So go use Postmates, because like, I honestly used it yesterday to get a

what did I get? I was about to say Clucks Deluxe. Definitely didn't get that. That's back from middle and high school. Oh, and the cafeteria. Those are some shitty fucking sandwiches, dude. I liked them, though. No, I did too. I liked them too. I would take them and I'd dip them in honey mustard. Me too. But it was always like high school cafeterias had the worst honey mustard where it would

be like that real mucusy like, you know what I'm talking about? Like food coloring filled. Yeah. Like just, it wasn't like honey mustard. It was, but it's kind of like how when you eat like a cherry lollipop, it doesn't taste like cherry, but you know it's cherry. Yep. It's like that with honey mustard.

It's like, it's not honey mustard, but you know it's honey mustard. Oh man, you know what I cherry. It's like that with honey mustard. It's like, it's not honey mustard, but you know it's honey mustard. Oh, man, you know what I would do? What? You know how they used to sell those fucking almost melted cookies at the snack line? Otis Spunkmeyer? No, no, that's when they would come every month, I think. Once a month, they'd actually sell them.

Dude's last name was Spunkmeyer. But they would have these drippy-droopy, Dutch Fork High School wonderful handmade cookies. Was that the brand? Yeah. And they weren't together. They would fall apart instantly. So what I would do is I'd get a vanilla ice cream cup and I just smack the cookie right on top of the ice cream and it would be a nice cookie dough ice cream.

Matt, you don't eat good enough. This is high school, Matt. I'm eating much better. In fact, I'm eating... Are you? Not much. Unfortunately. I'm back to trying to get healthy. I really, I really like, I had a big wake up call in terms of like both my physical

and mental health of just going, Jesus Christ, no. Good. And I need to do better by my body. Because if I help the physical form, then the mental form will only... Improve. Ryan, your body is your temple. You understand?

Exactly. You shouldn't let anyone in it except me. Watch it. By the end of the year, I'm going to be looking like Chris Pratt's fat fucking uncle. Which is also more fit than I am right now. Really? I mean, you're a good looking dude. We're not getting it.

We've had this conversation a million times on the podcast where I'm just like, Ryan, you're hot. And everyone's like, cool, man. Go do my meds, Ryan. You look nice too, man. I lost a bunch of weight. I got to gain it back. If I can just get some of that fat in my face, that's what I want.

I just want my face to fill out more. Right now, I look like a malnourished child. There's a lot of people who'd want to slam into that. What do you mean? Slash, crash their car into me when I'm walking down the sidewalk? They're like, that's Matt from Supermega. Because they think you're a stop sign. I'm a streetlight pole.

I'm just tall and skinny. Sorry, officer. I thought he was a stop sign. Why didn't you stop? When he gives them a ticket. When I wear red outside, all the cars stop behind me because they think I'm a stop sign. Yeah, dude. That's good for you, though.

Do you have an octagonal body shape? No, my head. I got a weird shaped head, dude. No, you don't. Yes, I do. If I ever went bald. I have that long ass Tom Hanks head. What are you talking about long ass Tom Hanks head?

It's an oval. Every head is an oval. It's like a long oval. Every head is an oval. That's a head shape. I get that, but I feel like mine's a little on the long side. I don't know. Why the long face, Ryan?

No, dude, but you have a perfectly fine head. You know what my head looks like? No. My head looks like an inflated balloon that's a little too inflated. You see what I'm talking about? What? Like, look, it's so... What inflated balloon?

It comes to a point at my chin, but then it like... And then I got this big honking nose that's like a bird bee. It's a nose, dude. But look at my nostrils. They're like elongated. Dude, when you're 80 and your nose is the size of fucking Jameel... What is it called? Jameel Temple back in South Carolina.

Jaleel White? What's Jameel Temple? How the fuck you talk... Ryan, have you never been to Jameel Temple? I don't know what this is, and the viewers don't know because it's another obscure Jameel Temple? I don't know what this is and the viewers don't know because it's another obscure South Carolina reference. I don't even know what this is. Look, I'm looking it up. Jameel Temple.

Jameel Shrine Temple. That's not what I want. Yeah, Shrine in Seven Oaks, South Carolina. I don't even know where the fuck Seven Oaks is. I didn't know it was a fucking shrine. Why is it a shrine to? I'm seeing pictures of this dude with tigers and shit. That's the Jameel Temple in South Carolina off 7-0. I, uh...

So that's, it's a big building. We should just, like, redo the description on iTunes for our podcast. The first thing is, like, two boys talk about South Carolina and other things. It's where I grew up for 20 years. Cut me some slack. No, I agree. I'm talking to the fans at this point. Yeah, fuck you guys.

Just kidding. Fuck you for talking about where you grew up and connecting things because you lived there a majority of your life and now you live in this strange metropolitan area that doesn't make sense to you quite yet. And you're still trying to figure out and so you're finding similarities

to try to remind you of home so you don't spiral into a deep state of depression. Damn. But also we're just trying to connect to you normal folk because Ryan and I, we're megastar billionaire celebrities from YouTube. We're just like everyone else. We're just trying to think of poor people things that you guys would do, like dip honey mustard.

We chew our wheat just like everyone else. Can we become like millionaires and then just be the biggest fucking assholes about it? We can be assholes right now and not even be millionaires. Yeah, absolutely. Are we? I don't know. Are we millionaires? No.

Definitely not. That'd be cool, but... I know who is a millionaire. Who? Okay. Try to guess who it is. He's dumb and thinks he can rap. Rhymes with spice gum. Jackseptice i was gonna actually say logan paul angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain it's hard to find people that can help

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you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Dude, okay, just this is is gonna be the small bit and i swear to god i hope i don't go on his radar because i because i'd piss my pants i'd be scared um don't tell him that i'm i'm we in my shorts um i just had an observation the other day because like one of those drama videos was up on my fuck it i'll watch it it was the whole drama thing that was going on with like Ricegum and Jake Paul I couldn't quite place it what like what Ricegum sounds like but I but I think I think I told you and like he sounds like he's gasping for his last breath with every word he utters like I can't explain it.

I know exactly what you're talking about. He's like, he's exerting all of himself for every single word he spouts. It sounds so anxious, his speech. It sounds like really anxious, everything he says. Like, he's very, it sounds like someone that's on stage, and they have like the stage jitters. Yeah. But you know what, Ricegum?

You doing you. You doing your best. Not really. You don't even try to do your best. But you doing you. And congratulations for being a famous YouTuber like us. Yeah, he's... Except we're not as big as you.

So if you do say anything, make sure to say that. Tag us too so we can get some followers. Don't. I'm peeing my shorts thinking about it. Anyways. I don't think that these youtubers care about beef from people our size of course they're like who the fuck are these guys no one cares about them they'd be punching down yeah and we were punching up we would also own him yeah we would i would fight rice gum in the ring would you um he'd kick my ass and then everyone would be like, Matt Watson got his ass kicked by Rice. He looks like he has a goofy way of moving.

I do too. Yeah, but you got that sprawling kind of, you got the lankiness. He doesn't have the lankiness. I'm taller than him. I've met him, so. You did. You shook his hand and said, I'm a big fan. I did.

At VidCon like three years ago. Yeah, like three years ago I saw him and I was like, yo, Rice, I'm a huge fan. I did. At VidCon like three years ago. Yeah, like three years ago I saw him and I was like, yo, Rice, I'm a huge fan. I shook his hand. And then in the middle of shaking his hand, some little like teen-year-old Vine kid came up and they dapped each other and then I walked away. What's the kid's name?

Like Mark Jacobs or whatever? Marco Rubio. Yeah, Marco Rubio came up to Rice Gums and said, Rice, I'm trying to get that bill passed on the Senate floor. Thanks. Your notes were great. Oh, no problem, Marco. This government shutdown is fucking stupid.

Dude, it is the longest one in U.S. history now. It is. And I like how some people's thing is like, oh, they're going to get paid eventually. It shouldn't even be shut down in the first place. I saw someone on Twitter that was like, I saw Susie made a status, and one person responded and was like, well, they can just use their credit cards in the meantime. And someone was like, yeah, but some people have credit card limits. He's like, well, they can just use their credit cards in the meantime. And someone was like, yeah, but some people have credit card loans.

He's like, well, they can just take out a loan from the bank. And someone was like, well, the bank charges interest on loans. And he's like, well, I'm just saying there's alternatives. Like, dude, well, they shouldn't even shut down in the first place. My mom, because she like, this isn't, I don't think this is good. I'll ask her if it's okay. But like, she works for the federal government. And so she affected by this. Yeah.

She, she got her, I think she gets her last full paycheck like this week and then they're just going to cut it in half the week after that or like two weeks after that. And then she doesn't know what's going to happen. One of her friends hasn't been paid since December 28th. Fuck. Yeah. And some people are like legitimately living paycheck by paycheck. Yeah.

No, I saw this isn't like 88% of America living paycheck by paycheck. Yeah. No, I saw this isn't like... 88% of America lives paycheck to paycheck. Just fucking stop. Look, I get it. The wall is a beautiful wall. It's beautiful. It would look wonderful. But sometimes you don't need that diamond necklace.

You don't need to show off that diamond necklace. Sometimes you get a nice little set of earrings that work just as well. Yeah, exactly. That don't cost as much. And I know that Donald Trump listens to this podcast. He's going to go, all right, open it back up. Why the fuck would I buy earrings instead of a wall? Open the government.

Those Super Mega boys, they hit the nail on the head. They're great. We love them. Open the government. And he like goes on. He does a presidential address and he's like, Matt Watson and Ryan McGee from Super Mega have convinced me to open the government.

Seriously, maybe I am biased because it's affecting my mom. So cut the shit out and fucking get back to work. It's affecting us. We don't get paid. The government steals our money every time the shutdown is. But legitimately, it would make my mom's life a little easier and less stressful if the government were to work the way it was supposed to.

Shout out to everyone listening that is a federal government employee that is going without pay or is on back pay right now. We're here for you guys. I mean, I don't know how we're physically there for you. But in morale and spirit keep doing what you're doing fucking it sucks we love you guys we hope that maybe our podcast or our videos can can bring you some joy in this time of shittiness yeah thanks i'm packing up everything in my apartment because seriously though that it it's really unfortunate and uh we feel for you guys.

So, I mean, honestly, I'm just pissed because they can't buy merch now. Yeah. That's, like, the only reason I'm mad. It's like, God, we were going to do a merch sale, but now they're not going to be able to afford it. No, but for real, that actually sucks. So, sorry, guys. Yeah. We love you.

Let us know in the comments if you're affected, how it's affecting you, and how you feel about it. Really light up those comments. It's got a massive flame war going with politics. Okay. I'm down. That's my favorite thing. Actually, please don't do that, guys. We don't want the comments turning into a... Well, I mean if you want.

Like, we don't control the comments. We don't... All I'm saying is this goofy wall shit isn't worth people not being paid for several weeks and then not knowing when they're going to be paid. I get it that they're eventually going to be compensated for the time lost. But that. Some. There's such thing as, you know.

Rent. Too little, too late. And also rent. Too much, too late. A landlord's not going to care. He's not going to be like, oh, just pay me in the next few months. It's like a landlord. And there's bills that have to be paid on time.

You know. It's like, yeah, maybe you'll get back pay in like two months but it's like what about right now what about paying for groceries and the lights to stay on and shit it's cold in a lot of cities what about gas oh boohoo what are you trying to tell me that thousands of people are working without pay much like the t the the the um come on you got it. Three letters. T. You got the first one. T. Two more. Terms of service? TOS? Nope.

The TMS? Come on, Ryan. The PMS? The guys at the airport. TSAs? Yes. The guys that always touch my penis every single time I go through. I don't know what it is.

I must have metal in my penis. Because they think it's a fucking 12-gauge shotgun in your pants. It's just that big. I go through and they're like, sir, I'm going to have to touch your groin area. They check me right after you because they think I'm hiding a shell. It's just an empty casing. Yep. Let them go.

I love, I went through the airport recently um and like congratulations thank you thank you we're about to be flying a shit ton yeah i need to do we need to get that like california new driver's license type thing because soon the like our regular driver's license won't um work oh work for air travel! So we need to get that solved soon. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Well, tour's cancelled, guys. Fuck. What if they just don't let us fly on the tour? Like, sorry. I mean, we're gonna

have our passports. Oh, yeah, passport works, too. I look like such a little goober in my passport. I got, like, a stupid little watermelon head. Got kind of a bowl cut, and I have this very soft smile. Mine is in college where I had that, like, chin strap thing. Chin strap, right. That's my favorite iteration.

And my short hair. Yeah. That's, like, freshman year of college. Oh, that's like, uh, it's like, like, like, mid-syndigo days. Yeah, or sophomore year of college, actually, I think. Mine's from when I was, like, 14. I got it because I was going on a mission trip to Jamaica. You haven't had the renew it since 14.

No, it's good for 10 years. Oh yeah. You're not 24. I got it in 2012, 22. So I get it in renewed in 2022. My like,

my current license is good until 2027. Mine expires. I'll be 31. I think this year at some point. So I need to go ahead and take care of that. I just got to get a new license anyway. Cause you don't have a California one. No,

I saw my South Carolina one. And if I get pulled over in California with my South Carolina one, they'll be like... You're breaking the law right now. Technically, yeah. Actually, I really am because I don't even have my license. I'm not going to keep this in. I don't have my license on me. It's not like a felony.

It's like I'm admitting to a felony. Okay. I'm just lazy with the DMV. Okay, I'll keep it in then. They're going to give me a ticket and I'm going to try to fight it and they'll pull up this clip as evidence in court. And then right now I'm sitting in the courtroom listening to myself speak and everyone's looking at me like, oh, this is awkward. Here, I'll throw this in. Fuck you, judge.

Judge stupid. Nope, nope. Piece of shit. Nope. I'll shit in your mouth. If it's still playing in the courtroom right now, I'm so sorry, your honor. That was my friend or my business associate. Who after he becomes innocent will go to your house and shit, your honor. That was my friend, or my business associate. Who, after he becomes innocent, will go to your house and shit in your mouth.

In your children's mouths. No, I won't. God, could you imagine this playing in court? It's still going right now. And the judge is looking at me as we speak. We're making eye contact. Just imagine that. And I'm sitting there just like, two months prior, just like, what the fuck was I thinking?

I'm like, just turn it off. Turn off the clip. Turn off the clip now, guys, evidence presenters. There's nothing more. Bang your goofy hammer and end the court case. Stop insulting the judge. Yes, I'm innocent, but you don't have to fucking call them that. I shouldn't even be swearing.

The jury's going to be like, oh, he's a bad person. He's swearing. I don't know. It's California. You know what California is. They made God illegal. California is a land of just ruin, dismay, corruption, poverty. Is destitution a word?

I don't know. Sounds like a word that would represent like brokenness. Yeah. Destitute. That's a word. So destitution could also be a word. Yeah. English is goofy, man. Yeah. Destitute. That's a word. So destitution could also be a word. Yeah. English is goofy, man.

Stupid. California is not epic. California is not. Everyone who moves to California gets infected with liberalism. And AIDS. They all just care about themselves and how they look and how they talk and how successful they are and how much money and how successful they are and how much money they make so they can have a sustainable income and live life just like everyone else

wait speaking of uh-huh well actually it has nothing to do with that cool you say you just wanted to change topics could have just said that well let's can i can i change that yeah 100 i think it'd be something you want to talk about. Okay. Well, what did we do on Friday night? Wine and cheese night? Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, we got to do more of that. That was a really good night.

Let's talk about wine and cheese night. So it was me, Ryan, and the Tucker bros, Jackson and Harrison. We all went over to Ryan's place. We got some, we did some research on some wine and cheese pairings. We bought a couple bottles of wine. Harrison did all that. Yeah, well, Harrison did. Let's give him the credit. Let's give the boy some credit. He knows his wine. He knows his food. He knows his cheeses. You got a goofy one with an orange at the bottom?

It didn't have an orange at the bottom. It was an orange wine. Oh, an orange. Not made with oranges. I thought there were like bits in the bottom or something. It was like a raw, unfiltered wine. So it's called an orange wine. I thought there was something in the bottom of the bottle for some reason. It was just pulp from the grapes. Okay.

I think they don't take the skin off from the grapes and that's what makes it that way. But he like went out and went to the, like got a bunch of organic wines. Yeah, they were weird. And then he got a bunch of really good cheeses. Top quality. You know me and cheese. I know you love cheese. God.

Y'all were saying, oh, that's too much cheese. All I was like, I want, you know what sucks? I didn't wrap'all were saying, oh, that's too much cheese. You know what sucks? I didn't wrap up the cheese so it wasn't cooked for the next day. Ryan! It was such good cheese. It was. It was. There was that one covered in mold. I don't know what it was, but it was so good. Yep. The stinky cheese? Yeah. The truffle cheese was good. Oh, man. The brie was

good. The parmesan or whatever. Yeah. The cheddar. It was also good. So we just had wine and cheese night and then we'd like, Jackson and jackson and i played jackson harrison and i would switch turns playing like halo we just chatted up outside it was super fun it was a nice we uh get together my my hangover the next morning i did not drink enough water and we we went through what five bottles of wine that night yeah between the four of us and like i i don't know why dude you saw me the next day you i was laying on the floor you were and i was just like please bring me out you had a mirror right across from you so you could have looked at yourself i did and i had the dark circles under my eyes were so dark and my hair

was all messed up and i wanted to die okay so here's the thing i feel like most people my age can drink and hangovers don't even phase them. I don't think I've ever had a hangover. You're so lucky, dude. I don't know why. I just don't. It feels like you have the worst flu. I feel as if the same as if I smoked weed the night before. It's like it's very... And didn't drink enough water.

Yeah, just dehydrated. But I don't get like that, oh, headache and all sounds suck. Yeah, it sucks, dude. I don't get that stereotypical hangover i think i just get dehydrated and jackson doesn't get that's the lick of it jackson's like never had one really and then a lot of my friends never get them but i get them like as you age around the time when you hit like 24 25 is when you're supposed to start getting them more um and like harrison he's 25 so he gets them really bad so maybe i'll start getting them and i'm glad someone

else gets them i'm not happy that he gets hangovers, but I'm like, at least someone can share my pain the next day. Because I'll have two glasses of wine. Is there no way to stop a hangover? No, you just have to wait. You can't drink a bunch of water and stuff? It helps, but you kind of just have to wait. You were chugging Pedialyte, so. Yeah, one way to get rid of a hangover apparently is just drink more alcohol.

Take a shower? Take a cold shower? But the last thing you want to do when you're hungover just drink more alcohol. Take a shower. Take a cold shower. But the last thing you want to do when you're hungover is drink more alcohol. Apparently my grandma would do... Heroin. Get you sober. Apparently. From a hangover? Yeah. I don't think that works like that.

Look it up. I'm pretty sure the comedown from heroin is worse than a hangover. Coke will get you sober. I don't think it will. I think you'll just be really hyped up and still have the hangover. Methamphetamine. Methamphetamine absolutely won't. You'll have a crippling addiction. Also, speaking of which, did you know

I saw a new study recently on the most addictive substances in the world? Nicotine is number two. It's heroin, nicotine, alcohol. We both on that nicotine game. I wish on that nicotine game. I wish I wasn't.

I'm going to quit. You said that. But I'm going to call you out, Matt, because you deserve to be called out. You went down to threes, right? How long ago was that? Well, the only place to buy threes was closed. See, you're already defending yourself before the news is even out.

You went back to sixes, boy. Fives. Sorry, five. Five percent nicotine from three. Ooh. You went back to sixes, boy. Fives. Sorry, five. Five percent nicotine from three. I'm just going to quit cold turkey. I'm not going to wean off. That's what I need to do with cigarettes. I think I just need to take a weekend and kind of have one of those detox

weekends. You know what you could do? To get me started. We could take a week in camping where there's no cigarettes and you cannot smoke. That is true. And you'll just be out in nature. And you'll be too busy walking around and goofing off to even think about cigarettes. But then when you get back, you'll just be out in nature and you'll be too busy walking around and goofing off to even think about cigarettes but then when you get back you'll be tempted do it in your natural

habitat don't puff those bad boy sticks fuck I just got really hungry I only have 688 calories watching that weight doing weight watchers no I'm doing you texted me last night and you were like Matt I just ran 2 miles in 5 minutes and I was texting you like, dude, congrats.

That's amazing. When I saw that, I was like, Matt. Well, I didn't think about it. Because my response was like, Matt, nobody has ever run two miles in five minutes. Probably not. I guarantee someone has run two miles in five minutes. No, that's impossible. Dude.

There's no way someone's run two miles in five minutes. There's guys that can run like 25 miles per hour. Those long-legged guys. Hold on. Okay. From different countries, they can run. Fastest mile ran. What's the fastest mile ran?

Okay. Is the current men's record, which means it's the top one. Anyways, is three minutes and 43 seconds. Okay. While women's record is four minutes and 43 seconds. Okay. While women's record is four minutes and 12 seconds. Another point proving men are superior. Looks like someone was built with better physical characteristics. Looks like it.

So mega cast is a men's rights activist podcast now. Super MRA cast. Dude, we should just, what if on the next show we just walked out wearing meninist shirts meninist i always think of meninites when you say that oh like the weird like amish but not amish people yeah i went camping once as a kid and there was a whole group of meninites camping next to us they dress all weird and i can say that because they don't listen to our podcast because they're not allowed. Because I don't think they can use electric. Dude, I just realized something.

What? The one group of people we can relentlessly make fun of and never get any blowback for is Amish people because they'll never hear it. You realize that? That is true. We can say whatever the fuck we want about Amish people. It's just people defending Amish people. Who cares? They're not Amish. Yeah.

They don't know how Amish people feel. And probably Amish people are just like, they're all about, remember Weird Al's song, they're all about civility. They'll just smile at us and they'll turn the other cheek. And they really don't care. In fact, they'll wish us well because they'll be laughing their head off when we're burning in hell. Absolutely they will. And that's the thing. They don't want to be contacted by that electronic world.

So if we're making fun of Amish people, no one's going to go tell them because they don't want to know that. The electronic world is sinful as it is. Us saying sinful things through electronics is no news to them. Yeah. So we can, let's just say something about Amish people. They seem nice. I mean, I honestly don't have anything bad to say about Amish people. They probably smell bad.

Oh, yeah. Probably don't shave their pubis. Girl, that Amish pussy's stanky. Damn. Fan that shit out before I enter. I bet Amish girls got hairy asses. You know they do. Hairy asses?

Yeah. Do they? Yeah. Ryan, you think Amish girls shave their bush? No. Why would there be a bush in the ass? Girls grow ass hair. Yeah, of course they do.

But, like, if they've never shaved, they'll have a bush in the ass. I don't think girls regularly shave their ass. Do they? Uh, I think they do. I think most. Really? Honestly, I don't know. I'm not a woman. I don't shave my ass. I shaved my ass once, and it was horrible.

Because... Bristle. It gets all bristly. It was like sandpaper on my ass. It was the worst. But back to making fun of Amish people. They're stinky. They're stupid. We hate them. Ha ha.

And see, they'll never even hear this. Doesn't that feel empowering to be able to call out the Amish? Punching down on people who can never respond? Yeah. Well, they could respond if they wanted. Nothing's stopping them. That is true. You know, they could just go out and get a phone or a keyboard.

And then there's going to be that one guy in the comments. He's like, I'm Amish. It's like, no, you're not. When they go on vacation, they just go out into civilized world and go, hmm, look at all these sinners. Do Amish people do that? Over there?

Do you think Amish people go on vacation to like the rest of the world? Isn't there this, there's this TV show that took a bunch of Amish people out into the real world. I'm going to be honest, dude. Amish is a strange way of life because it's like we have all of these luxuries and things

to make life easier now. And they just say no to them. They're like, no, no. Air conditioning. Well, think about it. They don't have Twitter, which means that their young population isn't as anxious as our population, as the mass population. That's probably true, honestly.

They don't have as much anxiety. Yeah. Their millennials are not the same. It's easier to cheat on your spouse. Commit a crime easier. No cameras watching. Are there Amish police? Do they have their own law enforcement?

Do they have to follow county laws? Do they have police cars going up and down their Amish roads? They're police buggies. Horse drawn police buggies. Now I'm interested in learning about Amish society me too if anyone knows a good documentary about Amish society that doesn't really poke fun at it but maybe also pokes fun at it but mainly shares what

shares the daily lives and is actually entertaining share that in the comment section below well the thing was don't just look up good good Amish documentary because I can do that I want I want you to have seen it and for you to have recommended it to me. Yeah.

The thing is, like, what I was saying is, oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you? No. I'm going back to a previous point. Like, back then, in the time they're, like, basing their lives off of, what, like, 16, 1700s? Yeah. It's like, we've advanced as people since then with technology and to make life the sole purpose of making life easier.

And they're just like, nah, we don't want to use any of that stuff. It's like, okay. You know what they can still do though? What? They can still. Marry their cousin. They can still have a bee farm. Anybody can have a bee farm.

I could have a bee farm. And produce some honey. That's a good deal, isn't it? Just like how the other kind of honey, which is a business, can get you good deals. So you're going to go into an ad read from talking about the Amish? You've probably heard me talk. You've probably heard us talk about the free browser extension that automatically helps us save money on all our favorite sites.

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month. Maybe Matt, right? Yeah, I actually, no joke. Uh, I needed something to put my pocket change in cause I use my pocket change to fill up my little water jug at the grocery store. It's only 35 cents for a gallon of water. So I'm using my change for that. And I need something to put it in. So I was looking at little coin banks and honey. Let me, it showed me a cheaper option. That's pretty much the exact same thing.

And I saved like two or three bucks on it. Look at that. Looky there. Did you know that more than 10 million people are using honey to save money? Yes. Did you also know that honey is over 100,000 five-star reviews on the Google Chrome store? I did, Ryan. Well, how about that Time Magazine says it's basically free money? Holy shit. I you also know that Honey has over 100,000 five-star reviews on the Google Chrome store? I did, Ryan. Well, how about that Time Magazine

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It's actually useful. Honestly, I'm not saying that what we tell you to back out of it, back out of it, back out of it. Amish people are epic full circle. You have such a talent for, for,

for sliding into those ad reads. Like, like it's like, it's for sliding into those ad reads. Like, like it's like, it's your damn job. Like butter. Oh, it is your damn job, but yeah.

Thank you. You know what I mean? I don't know what you mean. You're so good at it. Thank you. Like that time we told that like 10 minute story and you literally made the climax of the story we were writing an ad read. Oh,

Ryan's wizard on the mountain. Yeah. And he comes down and tells him about the shoes that he bought from StockX. That was a good one. That was pretty funny, I'm being honest. Some people were split on that. Some people were like, do they really just fucking end the story with that ad read? That is the end of the story.

What are you talking about? And some people were like, damn, that was good. Like, they liked it. I thought it was funny. That's part of the story. So what if it was? The wizard came down and advertised StockX. I know.

That was the ad read. What's so hard to understand about this story? That's the plot, guys. You see in movies how they advertise like Pepsi or like Sony or Dolby or something. It's the same thing. Yep. You know, they paid us. They said, listen, when you tell Ryan's ranch story, you have to include a StockX ad read.

So we wanted to wait until the end. I don't know if you've seen any movies lately, man. What? Have you seen any movies lately? Have I seen any movies lately? Yeah. wait until the end. Have you seen any movies lately, Matt? What? Have you seen any movies lately? Have I seen any movies lately? Yeah. I saw The Favorite. We talked about that on the last podcast.

We both already talked about it. Have you seen a movie since then? No, I haven't. Oh. I'm a dumbass. Have you watched any shows or anything? It's not Family Guy's Trump episode, Matt. Okay, I'm going to talk about that.

Oh, boy. I watched the newest episode of Family Guy where Peter Griffin goes to work for Donald J. Trump in the White House. And you laughed your ass off. What a funny situation Seth MacFarlane has created. I could not believe the tears coming out of my eyes and how much in pain my sides were in. Wasn't a good episode, I assume? No, it was fantastic. I'm talking about how funny it was. I had to pause it probably four times. Top three funniest bits.

Number three. When they drew Donald Trump, they made his hands tiny. Really? Yeah. Did they put Cheeto dust on his fingers? His face was bright orange. Dude! And best of all, there's even jokes about Donald Trump

fucking his daughter what no way what do you think the odds are of that though that he's fucked his daughter I wouldn't put it out of the realm of possibility yeah some goofy stuff's been happening

as of late in the past few years so I mean I wouldn't put it I'm not trying to judge his character I'm just trying to think it's... Some goofy stuff's been happening as of late in the past few years. So, I mean, I wouldn't put it... I'm not trying to judge his character. I'm just trying to say it's... From things that he's said... Judge him by his own words, yeah. Yeah. Like when he said to that girl at the Miss Universe pageant, who was like...

Like the 11-year-old girl? Yeah, and he's like, if you were older, I would make you my girlfriend. Well, that's not a normal thing to say to an 11 year old girl but you do you man actually don't don't do you don't do that yeah don't say that to an 11 year old girl that's weird no i'm not a fan okay i'm not okay yeah i'm not a fan 100 i am with you on this one but but the family guy episode was hysterical it was actually butt fucking awful dude dude. It was exactly what I thought it was going to be. I was like, wow.

All the jokes that we've heard before, all the... Well, the thing is, like, it's a year late to all the jokes. Did it feel like all the late night jokes put into one episode of Family Guy? All the late night jokes from a year and a half ago. Because, you know, to make a Family Guy episode, they've got to get animated and stuff. So I guarantee they wrote this back in, like,

mid-2017. That's why South Park is always on point. They can create like, what, one episode in a week? Yeah, six days. They make every episode the week after. God, that documentary's so good. If you haven't seen it, I think it's called Six Days to Air or something like that. Six Days Out or something. It's great. It's about how they make South Park

and they literally make the episode six days before it airs. It's really good and it's always topical. I think I fell out of South Park and now I'm watching the most recent season. And I think it's a good season. I still like South Park. It's a good season. South Park's a great show. I think it's done.

I think they ended with 10 episodes this season. Oh, that's a short season. I think they started doing shorter seasons. I really, in that documentary, it shows them in the writing room. And this is back in 2011. And he's like, they have a whiteboard with a bunch of notes and and trey parker's like yeah right now we're trying to figure out how to make the japanese tsunami funny but uh don't think we can really do that one because it was like two days after the japanese tsunami in 2011 they're they just they

take everything and just their writing rules are really good too like have you i think it's i'm not gonna get it verbatim but i think they said that if if you're going from one event to the other in like a story and if the words and then are in there then it's bullshit and you need to make it um because this happened and so or something like that like you don't make it and then because it's just events one event after the other. They all have to like lead into each other. That's really smart. Yeah.

That's cool. It's really good. I watched this video of them kind of explaining their writing room stuff. They animate it in Maya, I think, which is like, it's actually like a 3D realm they animate it in, with just the little, everything's like a 3D object.

They just move back and forth and stuff. So I thought it was kind of cool. It's good. Like the original South Park, the pilot was actually construction paper, right? Stop motion, wasn't it? Yeah, construction paper. Like they would just actually change each frame and move everything around. Which that's a really cool idea. Yeah.

I tried doing something like that based on South Park when I was like 12. It looked real bad. Also, when I was young I wanted to make animations but I didn't know how to do it on the computer. So I would get index cards draw each frame and then I would hold it up with my hand in front of the camera and then do the voices while I was holding it up. And I thought that it was like a legit show I was working on. Dude, what I did with the stop motion when I was a kid, I would film legitimate stop motion, except with a video camera.

It was like record, stop. So it was like, oh, same. I did that all the time. I would do that. But then when I did the voices, I'd do a close up of the person and shake them and be like like, meh, meh, meh, and actually do the voice and go back to doing stop motion. And sometimes it had to be like, oh, wait, don't stop. Hey, whoa. Like that type of shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do the same thing. Actually, I have probably three or four cassette tapes of this show I made called Random Bricks with a Z. And it was like a Lego show. And I wrote out all these characters. And my friend and I made it. And we had the most fun time.

This could be like two hours worth of those episodes. I should find that and burn them and like upload them to Super Mega. Well, Matt. What? Well, what? If I took my job seriously, as someone who talks for a living on Let's Plays and podcasts, you'd think I'd stop smoking.

Yeah, I would. Wouldn't you think so? I would think so. Fucking bastion of life here. That's my lungs. Was that their username? No, those are my lungs. That's what I call them.

Oh, the bastions of life. Just start eating cigarettes, dude. Your lungs don't get affected, and you still get that buzz. of life. Just start eating cigarettes, dude. It's not, it's, your lungs don't get affected and you still get that buzz. I want to, I want to quit soon, like legitimately.

Like, I, It's all about your mindset, dude. I know, I know. Just when you, when you're,

Do you need some motivation? Do you want us to all hold you to it and pick a date for you? No, because then at the end of the day, it's got to be for me. That's true. What if we helped you get pumped up, though?

Pumped up to stop smoking cigarettes? Yeah. I've got to build you up to it. Then I'm going to be at a party, and someone's going to be smoking. And you're going to say, when I wake up in the morning tomorrow, looking back, will I be happier if I smoked that or if I didn't? It's just a social cigarette. I mean, one can't hurt, Matt. That's going to be me. You're an addict. I mean, one can't hurt, Matt. That's gonna be me. You're an addict.

I am, yes. Bring me with you to every party and I'll be a little like the devil's advocate on your shoulder. I won't say a word all night. I'll just go in your ear. Like the second you say cigarette, I'll go. And then you'll do that for as long as I'm smoking it.

R.I.P. Bad news. Bad News Bears starring Billy Bob Thornton. Shitty movie, dude. Got him. Fucking awful movie. What? What about Benchwarmers? With Napoleon Dynamite. That's even better, dude. And fucking Adam Sandler's friends. Rob Schneider and

David Spade. Yep. David Spade. And was Danny McBride not in that? I don't think so. Or who was the weird one? Was that Bill Hader that was in it? Dude, be honest, I haven't seen that movie in so long. No, Nick Schwartzen. Nick Schwartzen's in it? I think he is. He's playing

at the Just for Laughs festival, and so are we, and you can still get tickets to that in Vancouver on Valentine's Day. I think they're getting close to being sold out, so are we. And you can still get tickets to that in Vancouver on Valentine's Day. I think they're getting close to being sold out, so better hurry. Ticket link's in the description. I didn't like that thing I just did. I don't know why I did that. Well, I'm keeping it. Don't. It's cringy.

I am living. Alright. Cool. Benchwarmers. I liked it when I saw it. I thought you were about to say Ben Shapiro. When I saw Ben Shapiro. Actually, I was driving the other day, and I clicked AM radio, and the first thing I hear is an annoying high-pitched voice, and then I realized it was Ben Shapiro. He was like, we have a saying in the Jewish community. It's a chutzpah.

Michael Cohen's got to get a little chutzpah. And I turned it off. Yeah. Just like a dummy would, like you would say, huh? You heard his dumb little high-pitched voice Is that what you said? So you're gonna you're gonna attack the man on the sound of his voice, but not the not the weight of his ideas Ryan, I'm attacking him on his lower testosterone levels. That's why his voice is like that.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Is Ben Shapiro a soy boy? We should get we should do what the Try Guys did and get our sperm counts tested. I guarantee you have a higher sperm count than me. Why? I feel like I have a very low sperm count. I think mine's low for another reason. Always, always draining the tub.

I'm spoofing 24-7, seven days a week. How often when I call you are you jerking off? Never. Really? Actually. Do you ever have to like, do I ever interrupt, like, the porn on your screen and it says Matt Watson calling? You have to, like, answer it? If I am masturbating and I see that you or anyone is calling me, I do not pick up.

I complete the task and I call you back. That would explain several times I can think of right now where I called you and it just hung up. Well, I'm just bad at answering my phone too. But also. But now from now on, every time you don't answer, I'm like, he's masturbating. Well, I mean, okay, here's the good. But the odds of you masturbating are probably pretty high. Here's a good test for you.

If you're calling me and all of a sudden it goes click after like three rings, that's like me going, I gotta watch it. But now you're gonna be like, I don't want to think I'm masturbating. So you're gonna have to sit there and wait for the entire phone call to go through. I don't care. I don't care if you know I'm masturbating. So you're going to have to sit there and wait for the entire phone call to go through. I don't care. I don't care if you know I'm masturbating. That's one thing about living with you. I never heard you masturbate once.

Yeah, you just bursted in one time on purpose. I do remember that. Because Daniel told you to. You looked very shocked. Yeah, I was very shocked because I was masturbating. I don't think there's like any other reaction to that. I'm in the most vulnerable position I can be

you're like you're stroking you're slapping your shaft around I am and you just bursted in the room did your parents ever catch you jerking off yeah probably I think my mom knew about it once cause she brought it up at the dinner table or some shit she was like well we know what you do in your room we can hear it and I was like wait really she said that at dinner like ages ago

you know what gave me away? What? My socks. Were you a socks bloozer? Yeah. Did you have one specific sock or was it just like firing your load, like filling up like a cupcake tin with batter? I just needed a sock, dude.

I was never a socks bloozer. I was more of a just go to the corner of my carpeted bedroom and soak the carpet. I was never a socks bloozer. I was more of a just go to the corner of my carpeted bedroom and soak the carpet. I'm just kidding. Just the one corner. No, no, I didn't. I was more of a, this t-shirt ain't gonna be worn for a

while. That's disgusting when you think about it. Mom, I'm sorry you had to do my when I was a teenager. All parents who deal with horny little boys. I remember one time my mom picked up one of my t-shirts from the laundry. She's like, what happened here? I was like, uh-uh. I was in bed and I blew my nose. At least we're not girls and fucking get caught humping pillows and shit.

Or squirting blood all over the wall. Whoa! I imagine that's the dad, like, walking in. His blood just... Because he's proud of his little girl for growing up. No, he's not. She's a woman now. He's not.

She's not daddy's little girl anymore. He has to put her in a fucking tin box. Ship her away to somewhere. To the woods. Somewhere safe. So she can infect everyone else with her period. Her witch magic. Is there anything you want to end this podcast on, Matt?

I thought that was a pretty good topic to end. Jerking off and squirting period blood. Dude, it's super mega. Yeah, dude, it's super mega. We're back, baby, 2019. Unfiltered. Uncensored and uncut. Bigger, badder, and more badass.

Wait, bigger, better, and more badass. Like Gears of War 2. Okay. I like that. So, podcast is on Spotify iTunes all that good stuff yep

no abrupt ending this time guys just the music's gonna fade out well our voices are gonna fade out or just gonna stop they're actually fading out they're getting quieter right now

are they? the music's getting loud you probably can't can't even hear me anymore okay hear me anymore. Okay.