supermegashow - EP 147 - Subscribe to Dolan Dark (ft. Dolan Dark)

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

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Welcome back everyone to episode 146 of the Super Megacast. Nope, that was last week. Well, fuck. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I can do this again. Wanna redo it? Yeah, but I'm gonna keep in the fuck up of course. That's okay. Welcome back everyone to episode 147 of the Super Megacast because I edit the odd episodes.

That's right and I edit the even ones. So I'm here with my good friend Matt Watson. That's me and this is my good friend Ryan McGee. Yes, but we also have a special special guest over here. I'll let him introduce himself. Go for it. I'm Dolan Duck and I make memes. That's the most like apt description. Literally sums it up. And you probably

know him he was on epic rap battles of history he was the third Dolan twin before he was exiled and now he's here he's here for the week for E3 and was it strictly just for E3 that you came? Oh, yeah, because I got flown out by Ubisoft. Oh, really? Which is cool. God. Even though I'm not even a proper gamer.

Did you get to do something with him? Yeah, I have to do... I got to play Watch Dogs and two of the new games. Watch Dogs Legion? Yeah, I think. Oh, that's sick. Do you have to say it was good when you talk about it? No, they don't.

I mean, they flew you out here. They were very gracious. Like, oh, wow, okay, he didn't like the game. Cool. There's nothing, yeah, there was nothing like, make sure you say it's good or anything. It was just like, because I got to do two game videos on it and then two Instagram posts.

Yeah. It's just like, you can just say the post is sponsored. You know, that's it. But, yeah, they were both were both like actually good games so did you like watchdogs too did you i didn't play okay did you okay the legions is pretty sick i'm giving them free promotion right here i should you know hey maybe that is everybody spam them and tell them to give dolan some more money you know that's all we're gonna bleep out the company name so nobody knows you won't know we'll replace it with a funny sound if you want us to bleep it out

i mean it'll be pretty obvious when we're talking about the game like no well i'll bleep out the game too yeah we'll put funny cartoon sound effects yeah exactly just boings and that's fine like do you think that would that make you feel better you think no it's good because like i would have done because i'm getting so they want me to do two game videos and had to do some social posts and then obviously because it's a sponsor you get reimbursed for it like i would have done it just for the flight so oh yeah that's a sweet deal i wish companies would we would be nice to us like that fly us out somewhere well one company was nice enough to let us play their zombie game that's true we just did our very first like paid brand deal for a game at e3 it was fun we got to go we got to go play this this new zombie game i don't know if that video is out yet it's the one

that it's the from the people that made like sniper sniper elite games rebellion i think uh i didn't see it it was uh it was it was fun dead army zombie dead arm something something was zombies wow so we pay them and they don't even know the name of the game we're not paid to know the name It was fun though. Dead Army, zombie Dead Army, something. Something with zombies. Wow, so we pay them and they don't even know the name of the game? We're not paid to know the name of the game. That's true. Or be good at it. That's true. They also didn't say we had to say anything good about it.

I'm sure they did. But I want to because I actually did enjoy it. I had fun doing it. It does also help when people get sponsors. They almost always do that. This game's actually good you know like yeah yeah yeah it's like we haven't had any zombie games in about in about a decade yeah there's that call of duty one i'm not being facetious they know that they made a zombie

game they made a zombie game to because they knew it would be popular to some extent do you reckon it's kind of like superhero movies where it's just going to exist for 10 years? No, it's going to exist forever. Just like superhero movies, zombie movies. And then every 20 years, there'll be one that's actually good sort of thing. Yeah, exactly.

And they'll remake it 20 years later. I like how in games right now, though, it's the trend to like, you're playing against zombies, but they try everything in their power to make it seem like it's not zombies. Like in The Last of Us, they're like, these playing against zombies but they try everything in their power to make it seem like it's not zombies like in The Last of Us they're like these aren't zombies these are people that were infected with it with it with a like a mushroom spore type of virus

yep you know like it's not they don't actually say specifically zombie cuz zombie sounds goofy it's like store brand and name brand you know they got if got to find some little slight change, like Dr. Pepper. They have like Dr. Thun. Like every single grocery store has its own version of Dr. Pepper, Coke, Sprite. And they're not always bad because I actually read that Walmart, for their great value shit, they literally just buy the actual product and just relabel it as their own.

Or they get the same company to produce one for them because they have some deal with them. That's what I always thought about with store brand shit. Because they'll have store brand Lucky Charms, store brand coffee, store brand everything. Is there just a Kroger factory that

just makes all of these bland things? I'm sorry. Dolan doesn't know what Lucky Charms are. Excuse me. You guys have so much cereal, but I always see- Lucky Charms has the goofy Irish mascot. I know the mess, but I don't know the actual cereal.

You've got the Tony the Tiger, Captain Crunch. Yeah, yeah. And there must be some others. There's a million others. There's a, so Captain, or not Captain Crunch. What the actual cereals are. There's Big Tom. Big Tom, yeah. Big Tom's really big. It's like one of the biggest ones.

It's a Big Tom. It's like a chocolate cereal. Okay. But basically, it's like cat food pieces. That's the best way I can describe it. It looks like cat food. It has no flavor. It's just little white cat food pieces. Which one are we talking about?

Lucky Chunks. Lucky Chunks, yeah. Cat, just kind of a, think of Honey Nut Cheerios without the honey. Yeah. Just a Cheerio. And they're shaped like cat food? They're not actually that tasty. You've got to put sugar on them.

Well, there is a catch. There's a caveat. There's a catch. That was a bit more fancy. I said catch. What did you say? Caveat. Caveat?

Caveat. Whichever one you want to pronounce it as. It's fine. I didn't know the meaning of that. I've always known that word. I just didn't know what it meant. We can get back to it. Sorry.

They have little, they're not regular marshmallows. They seem, freeze-dried marshmallows that seem to be like pulverized with sugar. Yeah. They're so sweet. Isn't it a thing with a lot of American cereals? Like there's a lot of marshmallow-based cereals. They're not even marshmallows. Because if you've ever had a marshmallow, that's not the same thing as what's in cereal. Isn't it just like a marshmallow? You wouldn't's a lot of marshmallow based cereals they're not even marshmallows because like if you ever had a marshmallow that's not the same thing as what's

in cereal it's like a marshmallow you wouldn't want a soggy marshmallow pretty much yeah it's a marshmallow that hasn't been expanded i guess it's a crunchy marshmallow it's a stale marshmallow they're so good though like marshmallows and cereal and stale marshmallows like you know yeah i didn't sell that well it's good though it's not my favorite like i think my top two favorite like children cereals do you know what uh cinnamon toast crunch um yes it's the taste you can see yeah um and then there's uh they stole their name from cinnamon toast kin actually yeah that's what i was thinking that's crazy he tried to sue them but he lost and then one that i like because i'm a child is uh fruity pebbles do fruity how can you not like fruity pebbles

we do have fruit loops dude okay fruit loops fruit loops with marshmallows is my favorite cereal of all time like recently they were like oh there's some marshmallows in there and I'm like alright I'll get it and it's so much sugar which is probably why I have so many cavities every time I see the dentist but it's actually

like legitimately really good and I'll just like wake up at 3am andm. And you guys have two balls. Oh, yeah They have Coco Pops Coco Pops Not Coco Pops ricey snap pick rice crispy. That's what they're cool for you. They call them ricey's and yeah I said the elves and everything. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Yep, exactly. I think they just change it to make it more rice-y. Rice-y. Different country. I mean, you know how Burger King's called Hungry Jack's?

Yeah, it's Hungry Jack in Australia. I had no idea. There's a few. Apparently some McDonald's are just called Macca's. Yeah, that's what they say in Australia. That's the slang. Macca's. That's the slang, but there's actually McDonald's that have Macca's as a sign. Whoa, that's what they say in Australia. That's the slang for it. Maccas. That's the slang,

but there's actually McDonald's that have Maccas as a sign. Whoa. I want one of those. Put it up in our office. All right. I mean, we do have to make our kitchen Armenian themed. That's right.

Yeah, we lost an odds are in the design of our office to where now we have to make sure our kitchen, when you go into it, has this Armenian theme. So I'm thinking like old Armenian, like food store signs. Like a loud sports car engine. Yeah.

You know, like the big flag right over the sink. There should be a motion thing wherever, whenever you walk in, it's the revving of an engine. We're just biased. We're from Glendale. So this part of LA has a lot of- Is it the Apostle era? and it's the revving of an engine. We're just biased. We're from Glendale. This part of L.A. has a lot of... Is it a fossil era? No.

There's nice parts of it. It's pretty costly in Glendale. It's actually blown up in the last two decades. Yes, but there are certain areas. For instance, if you live more in the vicinity of the city, it's going to, of course, cost more. But if you live more in the vicinity of the city it's going to of course cost more but if you live more

in the suburban areas if you go to not Santa Monica but like I guess Van Nuys or what's below Sherman Oaks Sherman Oaks

Van Nuys yeah that's where Workaholics was filmed I always thought it was Venice Beach oh no no that's another place

there is Venice which is super expensive but then so there's Santa Monica and then up above that is where van nuys is and below that is sherman oaks to the right is burbank glendale west hollywood i guess right and down where west hollywood and yeah all that good shit all right you guys you just gotta i made this into a geography test i didn't mean we're gonna quiz you on it at the end of the podcast Yeah I thought you meant Venice Beach

That's what I thought when I first moved here I thought Venice was Van Nuys I always heard, well the boardwalk rights Like the big tourist attraction I honestly thought it was a shithole Oh you went? Well that's why it's fun It's trashy

Did you go to Hollywood Boulevard too? I didn't actually I went to Sunset Boulevard literally just to get in and out. Okay. Mmm Wait, what do you think about in and out? Burgers were really good for the price chips with the worst chips over the head off right the fries were the worst fries I've ever had that's usually everyone's takeaway where it's like this is a good burger for the price they give it to me Yeah, a lot of people. You can get animal style. Did you get them like. Yeah, animal style.

That's the way to go. Did you get them floppy or well done? Can you ask for that? You can ask for them to get well done so they're crispy. I literally just think I get a double double combo, whatever the hell you call it. That's what I get. I get a double double animal style. I get the fries animal style.

So. But it's not. It's not. I don't. We don't like it. Not that much. I still just like. With animal style.

I still just eatable. They're not like amazing. Yeah, exactly. And you just kind of throw that like slop on top. If you eat that garbage on top of fries, they're not good fries. Like, I didn't want to triple the fat content of the fries because the burger probably already had so much. I've never had animal style. Wait, really?

Yeah. Because I always have my burgers gross, as you would probably say they are. It's just plain. Plain with cheese or plain with ketchup because i because obviously i was sick i couldn't really taste for a few days which sucked because like the one big thing i wanted to do in america was try like every single fast food place that we didn't have here didn't have in new zealand so i think we had jack in the box i like jack in the box yeah i feel like it was cheap and they had curly fries is that yeah and they were actually good you know like 30 people died in the 90s from food poisoning from jack-in-the-box really

yeah it's pretty gnarly it's pretty sick that's fun I haven't tried chick-fil-a though I heard they were like they're good chick plays good it's really good I heard they were in kind of controversy because they they're always kind of controversy they don't like the gays type they're like clothes on Sundays I I heard they were in kind of controversy. They're always kind of in controversy. They don't like the gays type of thing. They're like closed on Sundays sort of shit. I used to work there. Okay.

Back in high school when I was a good little Christian boy. Yeah. I mean, I still am, Mom. And I worked there for like two and a half years. Growing up in South Carolina and being Christian boys, it being closed on Sunday, you'd be like, wow, this place shows respect where no other restaurant does. And it gives good food these old dudes will always come on me like i just want to tell you something it is so respectable that y'all are closed on sundays

i hope y'all never stop doing that and i'm like all right well that has nothing to do with me but i just like that i get a day off they'd always come like tell it directly more of a tip like oh you know they don't tip they didn't know no tip at chick-fil-a there was actually a a thing like a thing where if anyone ever tipped you you were like obligated you had to go give it to the restaurant that's also a new thing is we don't have tipping in new zealand at all okay oh yeah which i thought i find tipping a bit of a weird system but i was like asking all my american friends like when i come over here what do i tip what do i not tip so fast food you never tip right no you tip usually you only tip if it's like

a or like a sit down or like something kind of it's when they bring the food to you is when you tip not always though because like usually if the receipt just hasn't on i always feel obligated so like at e3 oh yeah i got i just got a beer from a cart and i had a tip thing. I'm like, I don't want to leave that blank. I'd say you tip with delivery. You don't tip with takeout. You tip when you sit down at the restaurant usually. You don't tip at fast food. You tip the people that park your cars if you go to a place that does...

What if you sit down at a fast food place? Because I went to... No. No, no, no, no. You never tip at a fast food place unless you feel nice and you put it in a charity box or something. They're much lower people. I went to IHOP actually for breakfast. It was actually genuinely good. IHOP you tip.

Genuinely good. Because IHOP's not technically fast food. Okay, yeah, well, I did tip. Okay. For a second, your eyes got real big. I was like, oh, no, I got to go fix something. I ran that four days back. I'm sorry.

No, because it was really cheap breakfast like it's cheap a full thing two pancakes actually good breakfast because i thought it was fast food and then when i went to pay i put the money down like i put a tip you know what is it 15 15 to 20 yeah so i think i put like 15 tip and then she came back and gave me back the change. Like that was the tip. And I was like, oh, no, you keep that? Yeah, they will always give you back the change because they never want to insinuate that they're going to break apart. Take all your money.

Yeah, exactly. So they'll bring it back to you and then you tip from there usually. Or if you pay with card. I didn't realize like so visiting America, would you say there's a lot of anxiety around like if you go out like because you don't know the tipping rules are you i think i'm good now okay just initially was just um yeah i was a bit spooked like i don't want to you know you don't want to be an arsehole and tip too low but then again it was like does that service like say because i had breakfast at the hotel i'm at we got we got the buff oh we got the buffet right and the the waiter bought us juice like once that was it like but the receipt

still had like the tip section it shows you like what percent you know it will be like 15 18 20 percent yeah what amounts to tip and i was like does that really warrant another six bucks from this already ridiculously expensive buffet breakfast tipping honestly is like stupid well that was i'll do it because it would suck to the people that work but the next thing i was gonna ask in terms of when uh visiting the states would you say like tipping definitely does add a lot to like travel costs so like it's more expensive for one to visit the states than it would for like other places or does it feel pretty balanced la because it's really really expensive here compared to well that here in new york so don't include tax until you yeah i hate that it's so stupid so like i went out to lunch and i got

like some you know kind of flashy area not really no in la like a flashy place yeah it was like you know 18 bucks for a burger sandwich sort of shit that sounds like five guys yeah and then then they add the tax and then they add the 15 um so it's always like so much more than like what it actually there's also a food tax yeah la has its own like food tax and when i went to had like we add an extra two percent for our employees health care or something some some weird shit but anyway it was like a 17 it gets marked up to what about 2021 us dollars which is about about 30 new zealand dollars i'm just like i just paid 30 new zealand dollars for something that would have cost 12 new zealand dollars back

home yeah that's insane man like at least just super fucking and then seeing all the homeless i'm like no fucking wonder like the prices for everything are ridiculous yeah are you wait is this your first time in america yeah very first time time. Oh, shit. I've only ever been to Australia like four times. Unfortunately, L.A. is what represents the States. There's cooler parts of America. Yeah. I guess if I knew someone that knew all the best areas in L.A., it might have been better.

I mean, it was still cool, like really cool to see the place, but I'm very, very glad I didn't pay for the trip because I would be very disappointed. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of – it's glad i didn't pay for the trip because i would be very disappointed yeah yeah i mean there's a lot of it's like i didn't think la was cool until living here for like three years when i actually started to discover things which is a lot of hidden gems i guess there's like really cool it's like once you start to get to know it there's a lot of cool stuff san francisco's the best tokyo before yes that was cool it's right by skid row though yeah that's also the thing about la is how

you'll have a really nice street and then two streets like down is like this homeless shithole and that happened so i i booked an uber to i just typed in little tokyo and it it just gave the uber the direction to like the middle of little tokyo and she just pulls up on this like it's like this deserted road with all this like construction shit, like really dodgy looking. And she's like, is this where you want to get out? I was like, no. Maybe. Could you, could you, I mean, could you maybe go up a bit?

And she goes up like one road, turns right, and there's just a little Tokyo, like this really nice place. Yeah, that's how downtown, I mean, that's how like LA is in general. Yeah, that's how downtown, I mean that's how like LA is in general. There'll be like a really expensive sushi restaurant next to a really upscale like shoe store. I mean you go one street over and there's like 50 tents and like someone tweaking out in the middle of the street. Little Tokyo has some of the best food. Monzo is good. We've been to a place Hama? Hama Sushi. Yeah, we went to one that had two two dollar beers

oh shit i gave you a pint of sapporo for two dollars i didn't know that awesome i'm gonna have to figure out where that is find out yeah that's like tucked away it was like upstairs oh shit it was near some cyber cafe too cyber cafe okay okay i yes that's just the weird thing about laos there's no like there was no consistency between streets it's super spread out too at least when i've gone to because the only cities i've gone to is like the big australian ones like melbourne the gold coast and then auckland and stuff but they're pretty consistent you know you're not gonna take one wrong turn and be in like a garbage hole it'll just yeah it's more like the center city will be the you know the most busy

spots and as it spreads out it gets different areas dispersed a bit but here is just like the streets are so empty too because there's the city's so big it's so spread out like you're in new york city and which is the same way by the way with like the streets like nice one bad one okay yeah but but then uh it's so compact compared to la.A. L.A.'s like... That's even in downtown Columbia, though, where you'll have the university streets. Then right behind the university streets is public housing that is like a low-income area. Yeah. Specifically because college students rent out those properties. And so the low-income people pretty much afford the same as much as college students can.

the low income people pretty much afford the same as much as college students can. And so you'll get like a very rich high end dorm with a pool on the roof and stuff like that. And then you'll go down about five blocks and then it's just kind of like- Broken down houses and shit. Yeah, so if this is your first time in America and sorry, hold on, let me redo that no I'm sorry

nope I'm the one editing baby cut it out don't keep it in I lost my train of thought don't keep that in your new train of thought god damn it man alright Dolan I always lose my train of thought what's up with that that ever happened to you guys ah damn yeah

I could have transitioned that to a good conversation I just did well I do lose my train of thought yeah that does happen that is interesting like it just happened a few seconds what do you think about that do you do you lose your train of thought dolan yeah a lot i'm very and i always always forget like key words when i'm trying to have a discussion i'm just like what word was i trying to think of i mean you just like sit there in silence just now when i talked about how there was no consistency between LA streets, I was sitting there for a whole minute trying to think what that word was. Consistency?

Yeah, I was like, what is that word? Yeah. Fuck. I always forget words all the time in like the middle of recording videos. And I'll be sit there and I'll like just sound words out that have the same beginning letter. And I'll get closer and closer. I just sit there like a moron just trying to think of the word

well it's better than going it's the concave concave convex you didn't know concave and convex and people slaughtered you for that well I got them mixed up at some point yeah you got them mixed up and people were like what a fucking idiot holy shit

what a stupid piece of scum concave is like a cave. You go in. So that's why it is. Okay. I thought I did. I get it that I just concave that. Okay. So I got vexes is is when it's just brain fart then I don't know. Or people are just gaslighting

you. That is true. I don't know. I don't know these days. The big thing now is gaslighting people. It is. I saw someone online thought that I was a sociopath. Because you are. But you're bringing it up so people will come to your defense because you're a sociopath. God damn it, Ryan. Everyone likes to be like an armchair psychologist. Someone was like, Matt, Matt, Matt, the way Matt jokes with Ryan, the way he gaslights him. Do you know what gaslighting is? Isn't that when you convince...

Exactly. So like if i convinced ryan uh something that's just not true but i like do my best to convince him it's true or you like get mad at him for something that he didn't exactly so i we do that a lot when we record on podcasts and shit but it's obviously joking like make people think they're going crazy yeah and i just think that he has a sociopath complex because for instance if if you texted me um hey i'm gonna arrive at your place at six you show up at my place and all of a sudden i'm like i didn't read it but i don't want to admit to it i'll be like no i never got that text and me delete me the act of deleting the text and showing it to him is gaslighting because it's rewriting history yeah in your favor we'll just gaslight him a lot

we actually already did on this podcast, we made up a cereal name. Big Tom's. We just made that up. I did question that a bit. I know. I was like, damn, all right. I felt like if I've heard of fucking Tony the Tiger,

I've probably heard of Big Tom's. Big Tom's chocolate cereal. I was suspicious. I mean, someone could steal the idea now and make it. That is true. Or we could just go with it and run with it and make big tons.

We could make our own cereal, yeah. How hard would it be to make our own cereal? FDA approved. I mean, by the sounds of America, just put fucking marshmallows. Yeah, just get some like cat food and throw marshmallows in it. Like, yeah, it's a cereal. You do dog food. That's your big selling point.

Do some dog food. Throw some sugar in there. Some food coloring. Parmesan cheese powder. Is there actually a gamer flavored? Gamer flavored? Yeah, it's gamer flavored stuff dude so they're like gamer cereal yeah i was gonna say gamer themed cereal like speaking like gamer milk little controllers little like yo i don't think there is gamer symbols that's that's smart man yeah that's that's really smart and i know they don't have that in new zealand so maybe you should go back and try starting that up because uh sounds Sounds like Microsoft should start theirs and you'd get Banjo-Kazooie and Master Chief and Minecraft Mark and all.

Minecraft Mark. And then that's it because that's the only games they have. Yeah. I mean, you're good if you have Minecraft. Yeah. I'm glad Minecraft memes haven't died down. They're actually at their peak right now. I know because four years ago i was like

oh man these minecraft memes are funny but you know in like a year it's gonna be so old and it's like now it's 2019 and we're halfway through 2019 those minecraft memes since the beginning though back then it was a lot of them would be like minecraft parody you know when you get the little kids singing like charity yeah yeah songs which by the way you can't do memes of anymore because record companies that oh yeah they'll just claim hungry you i had two seconds of a god's plan parody minecraft parody obviously probably called steve's plan i'm just i'm assuming it probably was anyway umg claims it for composition two seconds out of like a 40 second video oh we we did a best of 2018 video which was almost like three hours

long and in the very beginning i used this music for like five to ten seconds that i was told by someone was like open open source or not open source uh public domain because it's using like a lot of cartoons and tv shows yeah so i use it and then like just a week later it's like now they're monetizing your video and you'll never make money off it. Did you get it from YouTube? I did. Yeah, I've heard that before. But I looked up the-

It'll say copyright free. You're like, oh cool, and then it's actually not. And then they just claim it like a week later. Yeah, it's super frustrating so that I don't know whoever owns that song's getting all the money to that now. So you've- Rightfully so, they made the song. Exactly. Huh? Well they did the whole three-hour video too. Of course now. Rightfully so. They made the song, right? Exactly. Huh?

Well, they did the whole three-hour video too. Of course. Yeah, they did. They might as well have. I wish they added a sort of percentage-based thing. Yeah, it's like, oh, that would be too much work on YouTube. I would not even say I had like a two-minute video. I used like 10 seconds or five seconds of a song.

I wouldn't mind giving like 10% or 20% even. Yeah, just so they're not taking the whole thing because it's like that song does not make the video i would not have used it and we could have used something else would have been just fine say you had like a 100 second long video you use five seconds of audio they are technically claiming all your revenue for not even five percent technically yeah it's two and a half percent of your video because obviously you have the visuals too so they're getting like the full amount and just for the audio yeah it's ridiculous do you get demonetized a lot actually not too often it does vary i'll have a week where everything will get the same there's a period we were so bad for

it's like every video and then they kind of like chilled out a little bit it's getting a bit worse these days yeah it started picking back up again where we'll get like two or three videos a week i'm trying to do a time constraint meme because you know memes will be dead in a week we got to jump on that shit yeah if i miss like in la i've probably missed like 20 memes just by not being able to edit but like you know if i'm trying to upload to cash in on this meme that I like, if it gets delayed 24 hours because of demonetization, people could beat me to the idea. Absolutely.

Their views are going to be halved because, yeah, it's all about being on time sort of thing as well. What are you editing? Sony Vegas and After Effects. Okay. Weird combination. That combination, but... That is, yeah.

Can't be fucked learning Premiere. Did you ever try learning... Wait, so you never... So you didn't learn Premiere. I like Premiere a lot more. So we're in the opposite. We're in the opposite. Wait, have you ever tried Sony?

I used Vegas for a while. I heard Sony was... Vegas is still really good for just like clipping and syncing audio. Okay. I don't know how Premiere is, but After Effects is a fucking nightmare if you're trying to like... Oh, anythingcing audio. Okay. I don't know how Premiere is, but After Effects is a fucking nightmare if you're trying to like... Oh, anything with audio.

Yeah, fuck that. It's almost like when they made that program, they're like, no one needs sound. Does Premiere not show waveforms? No, Premiere does. I don't know why After Effects does that. Yeah, so I usually, what I do is I'll piece the thing together

in Sony Vegas and then the edited part will be rendered out separately in After Effects. Which – I use Sony Vegas as the final render. Yeah. Well, I like Premiere for the reason that you can edit in Premiere and then click a clip and take it straight into After Effects. That does seem pretty cool.

Yeah. And it keeps it, like, together sort of thing. I love Premiere, but I also – I have a love-hate relationship. I hate it. It's such a horrible program, but at the same time, it's like the best i can use it's just a horrible there's like no good ones unless you're going to use one of those like film ones like avid but it's like why would i use that for me it's weird because it's hard to complain to a mass group of people like why you're frustrated with the fact that they change how legacy titles show up and how the title

system works in uh premiere because no everyone's like that's just how you titles show up and how the title system works in Premiere? Because everyone's like, that's just how you add text on screen. That's a little thing. I want to rip my hair out every time because to create titles, there used to be this kind of somewhat complex window so you could change the legging, the kerning, the font, the size, everything about it.

And so it would come up with a window where it gave you all of these controls But now they've made it so the default way to put titles into premiere is more the like iMovie Dumbed down version of that it makes doing like subtitles a fucking nightmare because you keep opening up all these I know oh my god. You just like having to time everything I I think I've done like five game videos now because I was like, you know It's always good to branch out sort of shit Yeah, cuz you know meme like just how

You know YouTube's like cracking down on a lot of third party content. I was like, well memes might not be around forever But anyway, I was like, okay. I'll subtitle my videos. I tried subtitling for like 30 seconds I was like fuck this it's gonna like oh 30 do that when you do that triple the time it took to edit because it's just so slow and it's insane yes i was like i'm just not gonna subtitle until unless you literally can't hear what i'm saying so yeah that's what we do like if we do like an outdoor shot it's kind of far away it's like and people have like different speakers and shit so we'll do that the worst things i i didn't like okay not the worst they're not the worst things but i did not like editing them and you'll so we'll do that. The worst things I didn't like. Okay, not the worst. They're not the worst things, but I did not like editing them.

And you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I think you should already know what I'm talking about. I already know what you're talking about. It's when we used to edit for The Markiplier. It was his compilations were every kind of, we would have to edit the compilations, but not only that, we would have to subtitle it. But not only that, we would have to edit the compilations, but not only that, we would have to subtitle it. But not only that, we would have to animate the subtitles as well.

So, like, make the subtitles, like, real snazzy, where they, like, jump around the screen. What the fuck? And, like, make words shake and get big. Yeah, it's like, that was the most tedious process. I learned a lot from that process. I did. I did learn a lot, which I'm glad I learned from.

Did you have to do it for your video? No, just the compilations. I think I remember watching one where you put one of my images oh I did I forgot he said because he didn't want us to like type the word fuck out because I think something about like so we'd use PH UK or do like do duck and show a picture

and I remember like I was like oh watching it and be like that text looks so tediously done it's a lot of keyframing a lot of people who don't edit it won't really realize just, like, that small shit just... A lot of people don't realize, like, how much time that kind of stuff takes or, like, how much work has to go into, like, tiny-ass edits. Because I look at your edits and I'm like, like, you'll do, like, a 10-second meme, but I look at it and I'm like, -"God damn it, that would take me, like, five hours in like most memes there's usually like you know like two-thirds will be the original video then

one third will be like an edited thing and it's always like he's got down to a science five second you know five seconds of footage will take like three hours to actually i'm pointing at the mic oh sorry sorry sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Can you say that again? What? Sorry. I'm just making sure it's more pointed at your mouth. All right. Yeah, cool. Sorry about that.

You were saying how long it'll take to do like an edit where it's like five seconds. Oh, yeah. It's just like a lot of people will be watching and just be like, eh, and not realize that like just five seconds had like like three hours of work into it because you get like you know you have to motion track and match all the colors and just you know just small shit that no one's really gonna your motion tracking so good so like i mean it's it's not really hard when no you're a huge inspiration when it comes to like after effects and shit i'm like the thing is after effects does do most of the job for you. It's just fixing the hiccups. Fixing a little shit, yeah. Like, technically, it's easier than Sony Vegas and other, you know,

when you motion track by keyframing yourself. It's obviously way easier than that because it does... Yeah, do it for you, but then you've got to tweak it to make it... But obviously, yeah, it's still... I don't know. I can appreciate good tracking, but then at the same time, it's like... Do you want to do that for five hours for a Minecraft meme? It's like...

Yeah, also just like you appreciate good tracking but at the same time it's not actually that difficult. It's just tedious. But then again, that's most that's pretty much all editing really. Yeah, editing is just tedious. It's like time consuming and... It's rewarding. Majority is not hard to do, you know yeah doing those really big youtube poop things like you know mountain doing stuff oh yeah but that takes that's insane because that's like a pepsi man video yeah that's obviously time consuming as well but he's using like

20 different effects and 20 different sources of knowledge to create this certain specific thing like having that much knowledge is just like admirable i wish i could i just can't find myself like i don't know where to start never ever do that because i would just get impatient with how long it would take to read yeah exactly and um it's like i i think that stuff pays off though like i i really enjoy the feeling of like looking at something that's done after you've edited it like if you put a lot of work into it oh yeah but like it's just tedious i think i still do if i do a big project like if i spend a lot of hours on a project that i'm proud of i'll probably re-watch it like so many times i do that too until i'm sick of it and never watch it again but well that's what i think that's where the best shit comes when you

re-watch it because there'll be whether it was stuff in syn synagogue or stuff with super mega and yes some things have aged but when i was editing something as you said you just watch it over and over and over again and then some jokes landed really good the first time but not the fifth or sixth time and so you decide i'll cut that and trim it and then or you could it can be change it make it different like yeah if you hear the same joke 20 times you're not gonna think it's funny that's true you says i i have had that with memes sometimes you know like you self-doubt is this even funny and then you put it out and it gets a really good reception yeah because it goes like i only imagine you can edit you know my name's jeff so many times before you're like is this still bring that back into video no i i i'm we fully support that in fact damn daniel is still probably my favorite meme of all time yeah uh 21 was just used as an intro of one of our episodes

It was yeah on the 21st episode of something like in like my name Jeff has been going ironically for like three years now I think max Started bringing it back and I was like I'm jumping on that train and I just I'll just sprinkle it occasionally, you know Just a few months will go by no gifs and then okay I'll just sprinkle it occasionally, you know. Just a few months will go by, no GIFs. He lost like a bet in this betting game where he had to get the wave form of my name Jeff tattooed on him. I'm not going to do it. And he backed out.

Of course, I'm going to back out. I have to be punished somehow. We don't know the punishment. Who put the bid up? Our editor, Justin. Justin, yeah. I respect him. Who do you got, Justin?

It was out of 100, too. What do you mean? So it's this game where basically it's like ryan what are the odds you know you gotta you know for the next 10 minutes the podcast just suck my toes okay uh uh 50 because you know he set the number 50 because i don't want to doesn't really want to do it the higher the number is 50 so 51 to 50 or any number then we will count down and then we have to choose at the same time a number 1 through 50 at the end of that countdown. And we both say it at the same time.

If it's the same number, I have to do it. If it's different, then I don't have to do it. So it's like, Ryan, what are the odds you've got to suck my toes right now? 50. 3, 2, 1, 12. See? So he doesn't have to do it. I said 12, he said 26.

But if he said 12 too, or if I said 26. Then there's one little change you can make is the number two. Two means that, for instance, I'll give you something, Matt. What are the odds you take your shoes off? Oh, man. Two. Two? Oh, no. Okay. So now if we both say two two he has to take his shoes off if we say

if i say one and he says two or if he says one and i say two i take my shoes off it's just that so 50 50 yes yeah so it's like if it's like a really bad one you don't want to do you can flip it back on and be like two which we've we've had some because then because then you force gamble you're gambling you can force the person to back out then because they'll take out their question with the gif thing you're like i could have yeah i wouldn't mind a gif to do but it would be funny to see him get one exactly exactly like two and then he probably would have backed out if i did two absolutely you can always back out when they flip it on you still it's it's shameful yeah you know i still have think, we still have to come up with a punishment that Justin has to perform. Okay, yeah.

On you for not getting a gif. On me, yeah, exactly. Maybe he can brand you with gif instead. Oh, yeah, the waveform is like a metal, like an iron brand. I was thinking just the actual Channing Tatum face, not the waveform. Oh, like kind of like a resistance piece of it. You do it while I'm sleeping. I have no choice. Yeah. Yeah? Dude, getting branded sounds like one of like a like a resistance you do it while I'm sleeping. I have no choice

Yeah, yeah, do I getting branded? It sounds like one of the worst things they did I want a jackass jackass or Noah's now man when they like brand the dig on his ass like 50 times Yeah, I cover where I saw him why the guy had so much knowledge But apparently you have to press it for like less than a second and it will leave it like an actual good Scott Well, you know a good sky a good little brand sc for, like, less than a second, and it will leave, like, an actual good scar. Well, you know, a good scar. A good-looking brand scar. No one wants an actual scar, but, you know, like, a good, you know, no branding scar is good, but, you know. But then there's videos of people pressing it for, like, eight seconds.

Yeah, and it's, like, you can't stay still when that happens. All you have to do is, like, ruin their muscles and, you know, everything. But they get, like, third-degree burns. Yeah, third-degree burns burns and give them like probably they'll probably need medical attention or they'll get oh yeah

like yeah that'll get infected you'll fucking die from that but yeah I can't remember what I saw but it was like a quick half a second press and it actually left

yeah like a good brand we could all get them together so yeah if you if you need punishment ideas I've just given you

Justin let's brand them I don't I'd rather get the waveform tattooed than get Brandon with his face. Well, it's too late for that. You already said you backed out of it. With Channing Tatum's face. That is true. Yeah, that's better than the waveform, right?

Because the waveform, when they look at that, everybody will know, that's the waveform for my name and Jeff. But if they look at Channing Tatum's face, they won't know what that is. How would they know it was the waveform? Because you just know it by looking at it. It's common knowledge, man. My name and Jeff couldn't be like, damn, Daniel. It's going to be like the little- I would get the way for him. Because you just know it by looking at it. It's common knowledge, man. My name's Jeff. Couldn't it be like, damn, Daniel? It's going to be like the little, I would get the damn Daniel one.

Because it goes, my name Jeff. Damn, Daniel. It's very different. Damn, Daniel. But there's probably a lot of other things that could be other than my name Jeff. I think it's very recognizable. You look at that and you're like,

that's one of those things. Everyone knows it. It's like the M in McDonald's. It's that recognizable. It's like a cross. You look at the cross and you're like, that's one of those things. Everyone knows it. It's like the M in McDonald's. It's like the red in Coke. It's like a cross. You look at the cross and you're like, Christianity. You look at that waveform and you're like, my name's Jeff. You know it right off the bat.

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And I'm wearing me undies right now just by coincidence because they're so soft that my brain just wanted me to put them on. So, yeah. Wow, Matt, I'm also in my place of living recording a podcast ad on my phone. Isn't that crazy? So let's talk about Robinhood.

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Sign up at megacast.robinhood.com. So remember to sign up today at megacast.robinhood.com to get your free stock. Whoa. End ad read segment. You have any tattoos? No. What about yourself? I got one.

I have two. I have a little thing from the Simpsons. I have a triangle tattoo on here, and then I have a tattoo of the Iron Giant on my right shoulder. That's pretty cute. Any, like, backstory to them? I just thought that would be cool. Always wanted a tattoo. I've always wanted this one, and that's my easy backstory.

What's his name? Blinky. It is Blinky. Yeah. Yeah, I used to be a Simpsons. The one right there is just kind of like an in memoriam tattoo. An homage. An homage to Daniel because he had the same tattoo in the same place.

And then the Iron Giant just because I used to watch it all the time with my dad and I wanted something to kind of have there. And then my mom got jealous so I have to come up with an idea for her. Really? I could have her put some red lipstick on. And kiss the Iron Giant and tattoo that. Exactly. Exactly? I could have her put some red lipstick on. And kiss the Iron Giant and tattoo that. Exactly. Exactly what I was thinking. I still think you should put like an Obey hat and like a

Adidas tracksuit on. Because my mom loves Adidas tracksuits. No, your mom would look fantastic in an Adidas tracksuit. If I got her one, do you think she'd actually wear it? Yeah. Would she? Yes. I need to know her sizes then. If you give me her sizes, I will. I'll ship it to her. I don't know my mom's sizes. You don't know your mom's sizes will. I'll ship it to her. I don't know my mom's sizes. You don't know your mom's sizes?

Do you know your mom's sizes? Of course I know my mom's sizes. But your mom's... I'm not going to give that on the podcast. Which mom's pant size? I'm not going to give that on the podcast. My mom wouldn't appreciate that. But I do know...

I can give you whatever you need. I'm sorry, what? Matt's like, do I move on from this? I was like... Does he lose his slide? What a... Like you slip. Yeah, I would...

Shut up, Ryan. I always said like, I would only ever get a tattoo if it was like does he lose his slide what uh like you sleep yeah i would shut up i always said like i would only ever get a tattoo if it was like like someone close to me also had a tattoo and like you know or maybe they passed away or something you know something really deep and meaningful yeah or you know with what i currently do memes and all that shit you know if five years down the line because you know it's so volatile if like it's still going things are still strong then maybe i get like a small like duck silhouette or some shit yeah oh yeah because like you know it's changed my entire life but i feel like now is it a little too soon yeah yeah because there's a point when it's like in in like in a like looking back and there's a point where

it's almost like ego boosting where it's like it's my youtube channel logo oh yeah i definitely wouldn't want like it to be you know to be like right here get your profile picture like right on the side of your neck oh it would literally just be like maybe like a rubber duck you know like that's cute i like that so at least i guess if you got even if i got it now it wouldn't be like regretful because oh totally like a giant back tattoo i think i've talked about this on cold ones actually but you know you might release this before that episode comes out. Oh, is that not out yet? No.

Well, this isn't coming out until next Friday. Next Friday. You'll be into it, I think. Yes! Take that, Max and Chad. Fuck you. We've been directly competing with them for some time. They've always been jealous at the massive views we are able to...

They said SuperMega. What a good name for a youtube channel oh my god we get upwards of 40 000 no we we don't know podcasts usually like first few days what over a hundred thousand you're being very generous look at no watch it it does like within the first two days i know i know i know you think pepsi and coca-cola are watching and you're like no we get now we Millions of views on the first day. Do they get good legacy views? Yeah.

The legacy views, I think, is where the podcast does well. It's not the initial week or even two weeks, really. Because people like podcasts, it drops. They're not going to watch it right away. It's like an hour, 40 minutes or something. So they'll be like, oh, I'll watch this like tonight or like on the weekend. And then people just go through the playlist. And then that comes up like way later, like years later.

But yeah, how is it? How is it like making memes as your career now? I don't know how to answer it. It's a pretty big question. Like pretty big. Like how? What do you mean? Like what does it mean to you?

That's even deeper. What does making memes mean to you as a career? It's obviously, I guess just having the fact that I make money for the internet. It's pretty cool, yeah. So you're just in it for the money. Yeah, okay. You guys heard it here first, right? Dolan Dark, ingenuine, only cares about the money.

First thing he says is money. I see those dollar signs in his eyes. Guys, he doesn't actually like Minecraft You know what big shock actually despise me Now it's just like I guess it's it's a new wave thing right, you know, like my parents still kind of obviously understand it to a degree because I've think most like if you're in this line of work the parents will be like they have a fan base That likes what they do and that's probably what they see they make videos and people like it

Same with extended family, you know, it's like yeah. Yeah. What do you do? And you're like, you know, they could think what I say I do is actually a front, you know I'm actually you know, I could technically be a drug dealer and be like no I make memes On the internet for money, you know sort of thing like that's gonna be the new front for things is like just just funneling fake views into something funneling fake views into like a youtube channel and then the money that they launder through it they're like oh I got this from the youtube channel but it was actually from like being a drug mule or you know selling selling drugs yeah pretty crazy dude that's not what we are yeah of course not we want to get that clear that's not what we are. Yeah, of course not. We want to get that clear, written, signed, and stamped.

But yeah, it's weird in the sense that I thought occasionally... Oh, sorry. What's that? Nothing. Something secret? It was just a gun. She just pulls out a gun. Sorry.

I just start holding it. She's a beauty, isn't she sorry we not meant to derail you um oh like thinking okay in five years would i still enjoy making memes sort of thing well you know can i see myself being 30 years old and still making memes i kind of i love how usually it's like you think of a guy at a cubicle. It's like, where will I be in five years? Will I still be at this desk? But in your world, you're like, where will I be making memes in five years? Will I still enjoy the memes? You might have a fucking luxury mansion from all these memes.

You know, you can think because, you know, what you don't want is to be one of those like hello fellow kids sort of things So I'm wondering you know would you ever get too old where you're out of touch with what's popular? And then what you're making you don't enjoy you're just doing it to fit in I would not want to like Become that like I would stop if that's what I ended up Are there older people that you guys know that you guys know of in the community that are self-aware of it and kind of make their own. I think it was PewDiePie is a good example because he's almost, he's either 30 or turning 30. And obviously he's still going really strong.

And like, I don't really think of him as like old or out of touch sort of thing. Yeah, well, I mean, I think it depends on like, for instance, with Felix, he, like his life is that pretty much. So like that's his like livelihood. So he's always on the internet and he's always seeing the new shit yeah I think you'd be out of touch if you I don't think it's due with age I think just has to do with how much you're like exposed to it and

like growing up like being older does put some people off but then again like you know say PewDiePie in 10 years would he still be doing it and would people still be watching like a 40 year old man making I wondered due to your age i feel like you do have to can you have to change i mean look at he changed when he got older so you just have to you know we're still in like adapt a new generation of this shit like we don't really because you know youtube's only been around just over a decade now so it's like a whole other deck you know everything is new we're finding out what's going to happen yeah it's freaky because i'm like oh man i don't know what we're going to be doing in five years let alone two months so it's like i it's it's two months hopefully we haven't gone out of business

hopefully the office is all established we put furniture in their recording studio we haven't bankrupted ourselves and i guess people watch keemstar and he's like you know he's may as well be 40 he's like 36 or something he's a kid and everything is he with it i don't really keep track of well he's kind of like he's out of touch but in touch at the same time because you know he obviously uses his job he's good with riling things up he's good with but then obviously he's got a lot of like boomer humor if you could coin it that you know i mean look at his twitter yeah it's like very like oh yeah it's very hot on this dude's definitely almost i have to bring it up every time i still think one of the funniest things i've seen is the guy that looks exactly like uh keemstar there's the one on the train tracks and there's the one on the like on the side of the road on

the car yeah exactly i saw that one day on twitter and it was like damn keemstar snapped with this because it's so silent and then the guy just like Looks like everything about it the timing the way it's filmed. It's just perfect Max posted it and it was the level one level 99 And it's like that when he was doing his like very infamous rant video about Alex and then like right before he says it it cuts just like Like the distorted bass level 100 box. i'm fairly sure max must have got a block for that one i just heard through like the grapevine that keem hated that video no key i saw

he was blocking people that were tweeting it at him they were like hey keem is this you he's blocking people does do you have you talked with keem the keem star before yeah i'm probably gonna get hate because whenever i've been a reddit and Keemstar's mentioned people just hate him like hate him completely but you know reddit's kind of like I think a lot of people hate Keemstar yeah I like these people very entertained by him but I I used to I used to despise him when because I used to mean the shit I mean I still mean quite often yeah that there is one there's that legendary one where you respond to his tweet and you were like something about like how you're like this tweet will get more likes than your original tweet.

Oh, yeah. And then it like tripled it or something. He tweeted something like, I can't remember the context, but he was saying something. He was insulting me and he was like. Oh, yeah, because you guys had that war for a while. I could tweet about PewDiePie picking his nose and they would care more about that than if Dolan Duck was hit by a car and died. You know, because he's saying like it was. cuz I like more people would care that I said this yeah Yeah, and then I was like well if I'm so irrelevant. Why does my reply have more likes than your that's what it was

Like it was read a four times the light boys like I can't gonna come back in like that That that is how do you gamble like that cuz like that he would have destroyed you after that it was like well cuz people people like that because like that he would have destroyed you after that it was like well because people people i all i knew is a lot of people follow keemstar but a lot of people didn't like him and i was like i knew i had a decent loyal fan base i was like come on and they did and they did this must have been 2017 but yeah it was funny i come back um yeah like two hours later it had like the same amount of likes and then i think yeah it tripled it or some shit it was just so funny just to I really want to find this real quick

so funny you gotta laugh at it one more time did you know that cause he's coining it he's catching it on it now but you know the whole

lawn gnome meme yeah that was me that started didn't he not like it the white meme so you know how everyone calls him

a lawn gnome now I know yeah yeah yeah like I was legit the first person you started that. You started the gnome thing? He's got some- wow that's- And then Ian obviously popularized it. Right right. High nobs cause he like literally put him as a gnome

A gnome in the content card. And then the other one was I think a lot of people would call him a rat and that was that was Colossal's crazy that started the rat insult because you know it gets called a rat gnome a lot yeah yeah yeah i see a lot of pictures where he's so beautiful it's so beautiful you ever have stuff come up on screen on the podcast at all yeah we can we'll throw it up right here yeah make sure the screenshot there it is it's a good winning moment yeah

put a little trumpet for 2016 holy dude i know i look at things i'm like that was long that was a long time ago it's crazy it seems like for some reason like life really sped up in 2015 and 16 like or i it just kind of like when was it when we it's after i moved here specifically got into more internet related content as well i think so the days blend into it oh they do when you don't have like a conventional job like maybe not as much with you guys but but because, like, a lot of times, I'll just be sitting in my house doing nothing, waking up at, you know, wake up at, like, midday. You guys are obviously more productive.

So, like, when you're waking up late, the day is just... Notice how we stayed silent to make sure. We were like, yeah, dude, we are. We'll take these compliments. Thanks, Tom. It's embarrassing to me that's, like, sleeping into, like, you know, two...

Yeah, who sleeps in until 2, Matt? I don't know. Dolan does. I'll sleep into like 5 or 6 sometimes. Up p.m.? Yeah. Would you have gone to bed real late though? No, dude.

There's legit times I'll go to bed at like 10 and wake up at 6. You will go to bed at 10, wake up at like noon or 1, stay up for 2 hours, take like a 4-hour nap. Yeah, yeah. I legit do that you sleep for 14 hours i might have cancer you sleep most of the time it does sound like that sounds like there's something horribly wrong most people sleep most of the time of course i have a real fuck you one at the moment where so my normal schedule is like because obviously i always usually have to post for like american time too. So like 5 a.m. My time is like 10 a.m.

ish onwards. 10 a.m. L.A. Time. Because you guys are like a whole day behind. Yeah. But so I normally have to say. Rub it in, dude.

It's a whole day behind. I'm in the future. I usually have to stay up to like 4 or 5 a.m. Finishing the meme and posting it that time to hit hit the perfect hour when people are waking up. Yes, new dollar dark meme! So there really is something to do with dropping something at a specific time. And then occasionally it'll be like...

What did you find the best time is? It's roughly 5am my time. Okay, so 10am is... There's like a website that'll show you. It's 5 to like 9am my time. You know, there's probably an exact hour. I know PewDiePie posts at like 90 in my time you know there's there's probably an exact hour i know pootie pie posts at like three in my time but he's pootie pie yeah you can do whatever you can do whatever you want like it's it's it's in that awkward area where i'm definitely not gonna wake up at 5 a.m that early but i'll fuck that i'm also like staying

up to 5 6 a.m is also like pushing it we used to do that a lot to edit and make videos and shit. We'd be up until like 7 and then sleep until like 4. I mean, you know me. I'm a night owl, so I'm usually up not as late these days because I'm still like getting my sleep schedule back on track. I like that because I can call you at 4 a.m. and I'm like, there's no way he's coming. Oh, yeah, he will. And then it's like you're like, hello? I mean, I know.

It's like a media answer. You're like, hey, dude. Whereas if you call me during the day, you get, hey. get hey what's up dude like a very low energy during the day but the night's like say hey dude you want to talk about something but like uh fuck man i um yeah i'm gonna go grab a drink sorry is that what you were gonna say no i'm just real high real quick well you you left us on you left us on a cliffhanger. Did you actually have something to bring up? I did, and then I lost the train of thought again. What did he hit before?

Marijuana. Marijuana. You can actually do it like that. Yeah. I just assumed it was a jewel or whatever. Oh. Do you smoke marijuana? It's just on record.

Oh, wait, it's legal here, isn it yeah um i'm more like what do you call it like a social smoker well okay i mean i don't smoke cigarettes but like you know if if the if it's there and it's offered i'll do it you know i guess it's kind of freeloading in the sense but you know like i've never gone in my way to buy it okay because i also don't what is it in new zealand super illegal right not super illegal but not it's not like japan illegal coming like it's gonna become legal soon i think they're doing a referendum or something for it oh cool soon but nice um yeah i can't remember the exact thing it's counted as but it's not very it's like class c drugs so like if you have a small amount

on you you probably wouldn't they might even let you off it's it's like classy drug so like if you have a small amount on you You probably wouldn't they might even let you off. It's like a class one isn't it here not anymore Well not in California not in California, but I put it in the same category as like meth and heroin Yes, they used to uh or depending on the area. It's a political thing. It's all about like money and shit, okay? Okay, look shit okay okay look dad but yeah america's so like yeah just interesting to say the least yeah it's a weird country it's weird it's a goofy fucking country okay i always like i always like asking people who are from different countries this and this is not to derive any hate on the man directly, but it's just fun to see what another's perspective is.

Watching our election process and Trump being elected, what does it look like from your side of the world? Like, if you saw that in America, because I can look at foreign nations and be like, Oh, that was weird when something happens over there. But I didn't, you Dolan, he's going to call you a libtard. Yeah. No matter which way you respond. Here we go.

Oh God. Oh fuck. Was it just like, Oh, that's, that's crazy. Those darn Americans. But didn't you think the same thing when he actually started getting.

Yeah. I, yeah, absolutely. We're just, I wonder what, like how, what it looks like to the outside

world because it's like what i can tell is it's the new norm now here so it's like majority thinks he's a moron yeah and was just like what the hell i've asked people in other countries before and almost unanimously they think it's uh it's goofy like it just regardless if you like him or not you yeah it's goofy i would love to see a television star that goofy rise to power somewhere for me to visualize that. I don't really follow him enough. I genuinely think he's a moron, but I didn't really care if he won against Hillary. I wanted him to win because I didn't like Hillary, and I thought it was funny. Here we go.

Get ready, boys. Dolan Dark, part of the alt-right. We can't be friends with you anymore since you said that, by the way. I only wanted him to win because I knew the memes the memes were the selling point but you got to remember he said he only cares about the money this is his this is the point in the podcast where you have to remind people he lives in a different country too yeah because people are like your vote matter then it's oh wait a second well that's the thing it's like when i was it was funny to you when i was yeah when i was memeing trump people were like you're just mad hillary didn't win libtard i was like i didn't want her to win you know like i don't care man like leave me alone

but it was yeah i my thoughts were just like i wanted to win because it was funny do you have to do you have to stop making memes of him at a certain extent because every like the when you find like the whole the whole comic like the whole comedy oh yeah every time we bring up donald trump there's people i just avoid like if i meme donald trump usually it's not really at his expense maybe i'll meme like you know how he's he'll just make like pro trump ads you know he had all those like sound bites he was popular for yeah like i i'll mean them but i wouldn't give a political stance you know my like there was that one meme where he holds up that. Yeah, the signature.

I made one where it was like, it's now legal to kiss your homies. And then like him and Kim Jong-un. Go off into the back with like love music playing. Like I love that shit. It's usually like the harmless shit that the only hate would get is if like some real niche, like far right people found it was just like why are you saying he's yeah i like i like to imagine that like so he can like profit off the memes he becomes he like really starts pushing trump 2020 on his

twitter and then dolan becomes like huge like political figure just like this huge i mean you would love another four years of it wouldn't you i'm announcing do Dolan Dark as my VP Wouldn't it be fun for you guys? I mean if your country goes on flames as long as I'm getting memos Yeah you know if we can meme it and make fun it gives us stuff to talk about on the podcast Yeah Trump 2020 Why not guys?

I'm making Mike Pence's ad Dolan Dark is my new vice president He makes the best memes Yeah oh I think i i i don't want to say i'm 100 certain but i am more than not certain that he is going to win another four years that's right that's because you took all the fucking business money and donated it you look at all this shit out the podcast like political no no we keep it in yeah unless if there's anything you don't want in that you said just, just let us know. OK, but 2020 Trump winning again.

Yeah. Why do you think it's going to happen? Oh, I was on Reddit and like there are a lot of people that are pointing out polls of how all these Democratic nominees are supposed to be in the future. Future nominees, I guess, are gaining more traction than him in all the states that he won or flipped and like those are just gonna flip back or whatever and all these they always flip all the all these polls they're like look at this and it's on r slash politics i think because i was searching popular and it was like looking at saying that is proof that he's not gonna get no no i'm just saying i'm just i'm just saying over that put too much confidence in the polls and then knock out and vote exactly it was this

poll thing that was like hillary has a 97 chance of no on election day i remember i woke up on election day that's what i'm talking about people are falling into the same trap as they did the last time of like trying to like believe that this stuff is gonna happen we're just like no like let's be honest i genuinely believed he would not win I did too on election morning I was like I remember I said I was like I'm pretty like I'm like 90% sure I went out for dinner and came back and it was just like a whole different vibe in the apartment we're like so he's going to represent us right like yep this so Donald Trump is going to represent our country as a whole but Because even back then, he was just like the goofy businessman guy. He still is the goofy businessman guy.

No, he's your president, right? I want you to give a little more respect. Secret service, bust down your door. I don't know if they care anymore. Let's say some really illegal shit about the president. See if they actually respond to it. All right, so make some kind of threat against the president. I don't really.

I feel like your video would get taken. Whether for his life or his... Do his life. Yeah. And you're a foreigner, too. Or his family's life. They don't care if you're a foreigner. His family's life. I feel like I'll get stopped at the border. We heard this really funny podcast. You guys haven't even released the podcast. The Secret Service is, like, enjoying it with, like, their fucking AirPods

listening in. They're like, damn, this is a funny pod... Oh, wait a second. He just said that bad thing. Or it's like... We heard what you said in the podcast, though. It hasn't even aired yet. They're're like, damn, this is a funny pod. Oh, wait a second. He just said that bad thing. Or it's like, we heard what you said in the podcast. I'm like, that hasn't even aired yet. They're just like, fuck, he's on to us. They're like, they're in the other room with that. This is good. This is good shit.

So we just actually all finished E3 at the time of recording this. What was everybody's favorite part of E3? Besides, of course, getting to play those games by Ubisoft, but what was the other was your other favorite? Literally, the only game I cared about was Crash Team Racing. Did you ever play that as a kid? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't it was I didn't well, I sorry I did. Okay. Well, what you got just knock it off I just never I didn't even know the game existed at the time when I was younger Yeah, basically my friend gave it a childhood game that like I still played, I didn't even know the game existed at the time when I was younger. Yeah.

Basically it was like a childhood game that like, I still played with friends occasionally, you know, PS1, like 20 years old, but I'd still play it with friends. Oh, I didn't have a PS, I had a PlayStation 2. I had a PS console too, but we were like, let's get all the PS1 games because PS2 are too expensive. But yeah, I literally just played that twice and that was the only game I played because the lines weren't that big. And then I wasn't going to wait three hours to play Pokemon Sword and Shield. God, that line was insane.

That and the Luigi's Mansion 3 line. I wanted to do both those things. I wanted to do Luigi's Mansion because the actual... Did you sit in that line? No. Because they like built a mansion in E3. Yeah, the actual mansion looked amazing. Did you happen to watch the direct?

Yeah. The thing afterwards with the people that went inside and they were- No, I didn't see that. No, uh, they basically was like- I love Nintendo shit though when they're that awkward. It's fun. There was a girl and a guy that were like walking through the Nintendo mansion like, you know, trying to sell it to people, but it was just like- Oh, you're talking about the ad where it's like, it's the couple that goes into the mansion. No, it was like, um-

Or was it a live, like- It was the man. It was like him or was it alive? It was a lot. It was like the okay. I thought you were talking about the awkward ad because the ad was also awkward The whole direct was awkward. They're always awkward. It's just like but it's like it's usually like awkward but like in a cute charmingly Yeah, you know like the about the Doug Bowser Bowser. Yeah, you know that was like that was bad, but he was like Yeah, no, it's cute. Yeah, you know they you know They they had the best E3 so you like he's like what I thought I bet you were confused by the duck hunt silhouette It's like I thought I thought that was pretty funny though. Not the actual him saying that I thought him saying that was hysterical

I actually laughed myself to sleep when they the banjo reveal with the fucking duck I like that if you imagine if they actually did that and didn't put banjo in the game yeah I was like I was hoping they did that just the ultimate fuck you I would have fucking loved that when's Master Chief

coming to Smash when's Minecraft Steve coming to Smash I want Crush Bandicoot to Smash see you don't realize this you have influence over these things

if you make Minecraft Steve like get into Smash isn't he actually like a minor possibility yeah but that's why we need you to like help promote that imagine like because then they'll see oh people want to perform as minecraft the reveal i

was i did ironically have this new idea you know the when it jumps down and then it's revealed that it was the fucking duck hunt dog yeah i was like how can i make minecraft steve into that exact same shape and then have him like fold out you know so it's actually him and smash but the problem is is i'm on a shitty laptop so i can't edit that and by the time i get home i feel like the memes probably you know it's oh yeah it's already been almost a week and then i obviously posted like a year and it's like i had like a refresh it's like oh this is now it has a second layer of funniness because it's so old. Yeah, maybe. Marketing 101, baby.

That's what we do, right? To be fair, that actually does actually help memes work to an extent. If you're like two weeks after it's died down, it's old. But if you do it in like a few months, it's like so old that it's given you life. My name is Jeff. Oh, that's its own. Yeah, that's actually a bad example yeah that's it that that's actually that's a bad example i'm sorry that's in its own it's a false equivalence it's like the god

yeah i mean there's other ones on the side there's there's these nuts there's damn daniel there's 21 basically all the memes that were never funny and then they came back ironically funny like those are the those are the ones that stay around the most because you know you got a knuckles people brought back ironically but it was kind of funny when it first came out so it doesn't have that i remember legitimately laughing at one of the videos yeah no it was funny all right racist just just picturing all of these because what i would do is when i when i when i look at something i picture the reality of it and so the reality is there are like a bunch of grown men and children all

sitting in a chair awkwardly with the five controls are standing around in like a silent room and with that goofy helmet on there's one foot tall fucking little like knuckles character yeah and they all come together as a hive mind to uh to just to troll to sexually extort females in the gaming place. That's just what being a gamer is all about. I'm sorry, did I hear you say the actually unfunny memes become ironically funny when referring to my name, Jeff, and 21 and shit? Yeah. You don't think those are funny?

You don't think those are actually funny? Like when they first came out? Again, he's proving that he only cares about the money. He doesn't think they're funny at all. It's all a big gotcha podcast. The first time I saw Dee's nuts. Stop gaslighting me, man. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. See, can you see why people would call him a sociopath? I mean, he is. Yeah. You heard it from the man himself. You heard it from the doc. His words hold a lot of weight. Matt, you as a sociopath is loving this because you're like, as long as I make sure that people

think it's a joke and start making it a joke, people will never actually think I'm a sociopath. I was going to mention that earlier about the armchair psychologist, but obviously I forgot because, you know, we're all retarded. Yeah. But what I what I like the most is when I don't know if you've seen it, but like say there's like, like an interaction between a guy and a girl on like a Twitch stream or something. And then the whole chat's just like, cringe, that was cringe. That was, you know, like, it's all these guys who are trying to like hyperanalyze the situation. And then you're watching it and they're like, it's literally just a conversation with some mild flirting. Yeah.

And all these gamer guys are like, that's cringe, you know, like, because they have. They'll post it to our cringe too. And then people are like, what are you talking about? That was just two people talking. I don't think they a lot of them understand how interactions would work like that

there was this one I saw where it was this I saw it too girls streaming and this guy he was hell bent on just kind of like basically there was a bet

they had where like if he won the game she would have sex with him but then she backed out of it and he's just like come on I haven't I haven't had sex in so long was this on's just like come on i haven't i haven't had

sex in so long and shit like that yeah was it recent i haven't actually seen it it was on it was on our cringe probably about two weeks three weeks ago basically he was he was a very horny young man who claimed to have not had sex in a long time and he's like you always do this why would you do that like there's like a history of it's like you always say you're gonna have sex me and you don't you always don't have sex you're always not having sex with me the hell what's up with that Jerry talking to a 17 year old girl you're not having sex with me Jerry that's illegal yeah but not in the state of alabama it's 14 good old jerry jerry's not he's still 14 in alabama yeah why would you be surprised god bless man god bless god's favorite

state of alabama if you're in alabama listening to this mary was probably 14 when mary was 14 that's probably that's why it has a it has biblical context. Are you a virgin, Mary? Yeah. Yes. She's not a – okay. She remained a virgin, I guess. Maybe the whole thing was Alabama's known for their incest. I think it's both those things, right? Yeah. Alabama is definitely – Maybe it was a big cover-up because it was relative.

I asked two people once that were a couple – I was in a very southern state and I said, are you guys cousins? Turned out, they were cousins. They were first cousins. Or second cousins? Second cousins. Right, okay.

It's cousins where it's like almost removed enough where it's like, eh. It still isn't, it's still something you shouldn't probably be proud of.

I just wouldn't tell people. I think when it's like third or fourth cousins is when there's almost so little connection. Right? Because you know, you're totally connected

to so many people. Right, but at the same time you're still dating and kissing if a cousin is in the name even if it's just a little bit it's like it's just it's you know it's like my fourth cousin like even though that's so far removed you still say cousin the fact that cousins in there only have yeah there's like there's a little wall you got to jump over to get to that point y'all would both show up to the same family reunion potentially exactly i mean you'd bring the kids you know that's how a lot of people meet in alabama what probably yeah i mean that's not i've read i read something recently

sorry to interrupt no you're fine it was like i think it was one of those you know people always do confessions i should have read it it was something like these people had just moved in and their parents were finally going to meet each other and then it turned out they were they were cousins and they had like just got married like what would you do in that situation when you've been with someone for like three years you know doing everything you do in a relationship and then you find out does it make it harder depends on the person but for me personally yes but you know like what would you do like you've you love this person and you're like ready to start a life with them and then it's like by the way your cousin i might just have to wait wait when you say how

cousins are we talking a cousin is a cousin that's true i know i that's what i just said yeah sorry like would they slide that's really trying to be like, now, what is a cousin? Define the word cousin. Who knows what a cousin really is? Cousin. Noun. A cousin's just a construct, you know? It's nothing more than that.

It's a social construct. That's what a cousin is. Created by those that deem us unworthy. Exactly. There's nothing wrong with cousin fucking. You're not brother and sister. It's okay. Even if you were brother and sister, it's not the biggest deal.

You may share a little bit of blood. But come on. You can share a passionate night too. You know what I'm saying? Put her there. Put that fist there. Yeah. Come on.

Sorry I touched you a little bit. I'm not fisting you for that one. You're not going to bro fist me? Maybe if we were related, you know. Yeah. If we were cousins, then maybe a little bit of that. But damn. I don't know.

What would you do in this situation? Yeah, I want to know what you would do. If you both were in love with each other. You were in love with this person. What if he's bringing this up because this is him. He was the poster of that. This is one of those things where my friend is wondering when it's really me. Yeah, so my friend apparently got married to his cousin.

What would you guys do so my friend started uh sexting with his mother and um uh what do you think about what advice would you guys give yeah to get more to get more photos because because apparently the mom's a fucking bitch and doesn't want to talk late at night sorry what did you guys watch game of thrones i did not. I did. I feel like you're big-timing me right here. No. No, I did. Big time. You should coin that as a friend. I'm rewatching it a second time to go, how did it go so fucking horribly?

I was just gonna mention like- Some spoilers for Game of Thrones ahead. Fast forward to this time code to not get spoiled. The whole cousin thing, you could be like, well, Targaryens did it. Yeah, Targaryens did it, Lannisters did it. Someone is out there justifying it with that. They may be fictional characters,

but Targaryens did it, we can do it. Exactly, and they were the Holy Family. They were the protectors of the realm for a longstanding few generations. Then came technically the Baratheons, but everyone knows it's Lannister blood. Okay. Everyone knows, Matt. Come on, Matt. No, I just forgot. I knew it.

Sorry for spoiling. Who cares? Watch this podcast. It doesn't matter anymore. It's a horrible... Honestly, I think... I'm on season five right now, and I'm like, it's still going fairly strong. Season five and season four were amazing. I'm like it's still going yes fairly strong Oh, don't are amazing five to six were like good. I don't still really great, but there was some weak storylines

Stephen was like Kind of shooting the beard But it was like where they go the episode where they go over the wall is where I finally was like this is too stupid I still I still liked the interactions the whole thing that happened was dumb, but I was like, eh, maybe the final season will justify this. The character interaction is still good, and then the eighth season was just like, shit everywhere. Horrible. The last two episodes are the worst episodes in Game of Thrones.

That sucks. I will stand behind that. The last two episodes are the worst episodes in all of Thrones. That sucks. Like, I will stand behind that. The last two episodes are the worst episodes in all of the eight seasons. Have you seen the IMDB ratings? Yeah, it's horrible. For the first seven seasons,

they're all, like, above, around nine, and then first three episodes of... They got pretty good reviews. The second episode got pretty good reviews in the first one.

And the second season was... Second episode was probably one of the better ones, but then they undid every... I mean, even then. Three still got a lot of good critical. It was still a good.

Reviews. Enjoyable, like action wise. But then once it ended, you're like, wait a minute. That's, you know,

who cares about the rest? And then the score just goes straight down to like 4.2. Holy shit. Think about this. You have, you have a story where okay think about so you have your beginning and then your middle and then your end oh really it's like i was for those who were on the podcast i was showing like kind of like the beginning was long and all right

i was showing the size it was like very fleshed out and the middle was also very fleshed out and even more so because it's setting up the resolution which is the answer to all of these things. And then the ending they crunched it down to what apparently should have been at the at the least ten seasons. And then at most thirteen seasons. So they they crammed it all into seven and eight which are each only six episodes. I felt like if they'd made those two seasons ten episodes and They crammed it all into seven and eight, which are each only six episodes. Six and seven episodes. I felt like if they'd made those two seasons ten episodes and done another ten episode season, I feel like they could have done a way better job, even with nine.

Yeah, they could have done a much better job and at least a good conclusion. I still wish they just went to ten seasons. Yeah. Because there's a lot. For example, it's going to sound weird when I explain it like this, Matt, because like there's a lot like for example that it's gonna sound weird when i explain it like this max you're like oh they crammed that much in the last episode should have been a whole season holy shit you know what show which i love i wish that the final season of breaking bad it had maybe like two more episodes towards the end

because I feel like I still think that was a perfect show I love Breaking Bad are you watching Better Call Saul at all? do you like it? definitely it's a slow burner it's super slow but it's so good it's one of those things that not everyone's going to get into

but if you enjoyed Breaking Bad I love it I have the barrel collector's edition thing breaking bad yeah i just wish they like the perfect 10 like it's so good is that your favorite show of all time yeah probably that or malcolm yeah and i honestly would have said though that if game of thrones ended strongly that would have competed with breaking bad for me right game my ratings used to be i think game of thrones I put as a 10, Breaking Bad as a 9, but that's just because I was like,

liked action a lot more. And then I think when it was season six, they did some stupid shit with Arya in Game of Thrones. Season five is the start of that stupid shit. Season six is where they... I was like, I can't justify giving it a 10. I was like, dropped it to a 9.

Then I re-watched Breaking Bad. I was like, that was the most perfect finale. It's so so fucking good if you sit down and watch it all you could have ever dude such a good finale the the episode before the finale is like the best episode oh it's so fucking good yeah ozzy man yeah everyone knows the name that's yeah that's how good it is it's it's the highest rated episode of television in history i think right i actually what i wish the only reason i wish it had two like two more episodes was i don't want to spoil anything for now but like towards the end when it shows yeah when it shows him in like his final phase where he's like on the run and everything that just felt so kind of like quick that i wish we could have just seen more where

it's like in two episodes he grows a beard is up in the snow has to go back down i wish we could have seen more of that because that's what i really wanted probably around half a season i think yeah that would have been incredible i think it would have made the ending feel a little more deserved it already felt so deserved i only wish they did that so i could see more to dreider because like there was only so much he could do i guess showing his day-to-day but even then i feel like i feel like two episodes maybe would have been perfect i don't think you know a more. I feel like it would have gone too boring to watch, like him being... They'd have to definitely add some more.

I guess I was more... I was more interested in... That phase of him? Me too. And we didn't really get to see it. That's his final phase. And I'm not saying like a whole six episodes of him in the cabin,

but explore what his life is and maybe, uh, have some new characters come about that are just for this last little bit. That shit was sad. The ending of that show. It's so good though. It's perfect the way it is.

I love it. A lot of like plot points were based on like a, what is it? Juice X. Deus Ex Machina. Oh, that's how it's pronounced. Yeah.

Well, you know, like, like the whole, when he's about to give himself up and then elliot and gretchen come up on tv and you just there's quite a lot of plot points which are completely based on circumstance sort of thing but you're like you like let it slide because it's good tv yeah because you're like it's still so good that's what you call like good television is because like normally this shit wouldn't happen in real life but when it does

it makes it grander the word the one that i was kind of iffy on was that the plane crash one when yeah i actually still like that's still kind of what i did like was how he actually mentions it if you remember he actually mentions it to jesse's like i think it's in the next season following it's like you'll never believe what I saw at the bar, you know, Jane's dad, before he crashed the plane. The fact that they acknowledge this really ridiculous circumstance.

Yeah. Walt saying it was a ridiculous circumstance. I felt kind of. That's true. Yeah. It's like made it. That kind of passes it up a little. It also helps that it's not just a plane crash that goes like,

it affects the town. If you remember, he gets pepper sprayed because he, he uses it. He uses the fact that, that what it rained hellfire down on his house or something like that and it was also and there were buttons and stuff it was a cold opening for four episodes too you know like the pink bear yeah well that's what irked me is that they placed so much importance on a certain part of the story that i thought it was going to flesh out but it was another part of the story that seemed like a b plot yeah flushing out but i do have to say i don't know if this is like confirmed but a lot of people think that that bear is foreshadowing for

what happens at the end of season three toy story three yeah we're gonna say to guys but toy story three but the end of season four movie coming out that, we're so we're not we're so excited aftermath of Jesse. Yeah Yo, yeah, oh, yeah, which his story is just brutally depressing I thought we were so my toy story and you start talking about Jesse was a cowgirl and I was like, yeah They're bringing they're merging the worlds. They're in the same universe child's play really when it really went off on the marketing and killing this What they did they did one on killing a cowboy, killing a spaceman, and killing a slinky

dog in the posters. Oh, they did? I thought you were joking, but I remembered, like, oh, no, they actually put... But it wasn't all at once. It was over the course of, like, a month. They were like, oh, this did well. They could legally do it because they've changed, like, the color of what he chose and stuff, right? Oh, really? Yeah. oh really yeah they did like a really i thought that was a really cool marketing campaign

i was like oh shit i can't believe they actually did that shit's like weird but obviously made it obviously obvious there's stuffing in it there's probably some handshaking under the table too because they're both coming out so it's kind of like oh you know chucky just seems like it's it's all in good fun yeah so it's just one of those horror movies that's supposed to be one of those it's one of those, so what did you think of Chucky? It was fun! One of those fun horror movies. It's when people go, ah! And then follow it up with

it was fun, which is like, that's exactly what you want out of a horror movie, I'm sure. I went to the little mixer for it, and it was fun. Did you sell out? Did you see the film? Oops! No, I did not see the film. They didn't even show them the film. no i did not see the film but i uh didn't even show them the film they didn't show me the goddamn film it was fun though they had like the dolls everywhere and

stuff and i got to meet the kid from it which was cool did you play with them the kid or the dolls i played with the dolls yeah uh with the kid yeah me and him we we played dolls it was fantastic it was it was just what they paid me to do. I came in babysat, essentially. Okay. It was fun, though. And they made so many Chucky movies in the past. There's like Bride of Chucky, Cult of Chucky, Child's Play. It's like a franchise like Halloween and Friday the 13th and Summer on Elm Street, right?

Yeah, because this one isn't canonical. It's by the producers of it. It's not really with the past Chucky films. Is it like a soft reboot? Yeah, it's a complete reboot, I would think. I don't know if his name is Chucky in this. I think it's Buddy. Because on his overalls it says Buddy.

It doesn't say Chucky. I think Buddy's the doll. Chucky's the murderer, I think. Chucky's the name. Because it's a murder. What's the story of the soul of a murderer? The soul of a murderer goes into the a doll

and that's the story how does that happen in the original I can't remember how does that happen in real life is it just I honestly can't remember

I saw it once when I was a kid a long time ago it's scary I remember it viscerally because he was stabbing some lady's fingers

like a fork or something that's a horrifying movie the original and also just like the one with the little what what is it? Army men, army soldiers. What are they called?

Little soldiers? Small soldiers? Tiny... No. Small soldiers? Small dudes. I don't know. You know, the one about the...

Small soldiers. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. There's this thing where they, you know, the corncob holders? Yes. Where one of the villain of it is stabbing the kid's fingers with one of those. And I was just like, ah! It freaked me out. Oh, I used to have nightmares about it. I remember I went to Bible camp when I was in like elementary school and

every day you'd get this new like shitty little Chinese toy of like a character from this Bible series you're watching and one of them was... I can go to my office if you want more. Yeah, you can have a little extra one. There was like a purple clam with eyes on it that was like one of the characters because it was like all undersea themed and I remember

I had a dream that like came to life and wanted to be my girlfriend started like talking to me and stuff and it horrified me and I and I and I was scared yeah and I think it was like a big rubber clam and I threw it away in the dream but it like came back and it wasn't in the trash can anymore and I was trying to kill me and I got in my room it's horrifying do you do you ever realize with dreams how you'll be having a nightmare you'll wake up from it then you'll go back to sleep that nightmare will continue and no like for sometimes it's happened to me like three times four times in a row where it continues after you wake up yeah the nightmare happened to me but for me my it's the dreams that i want to

continue that i wake from and i can't go back i'm like no please go back to that dream that was such a nice moment i just want to go back there but's like, but when I'm having a nightmare and I fall asleep, it just continues it. Like, it'll be like, I get away from some dude trying to kill me and I'm in a hallway and all of a sudden I wake up and I'm like, that was scary. I'm going to go back to bed. And all of a sudden I just, I'm right back in the hallway. I'm like, fuck. Press pause, press play.

But since I'm in the dream again, it's almost like I'm kind of aware that I'm stuck. But it's still just as scary. But usually when that happens, it transforms into sleep paralysis. If I continue to have the same dream when I wake up and fall asleep paralysis. I hate that. It's happened to me like three or four times. I always keep my eyes closed. I always keep my eyes closed.

Well, the scariest one for me was until I can scream or like make some guttural sound. I do. I like and I guttural sound. I do. I'm like, I'm like, and I'm like, okay, I'm awake. Can you still see them when your eyes are closed? Cause your eyes are actually closed. Yeah. I just, I just, I just, I just see dark and sometimes I'll peek out, but like, I don't ever see any figures.

For me when it happens, it feels like I'm being electrocuted. It's like a, it's almost like a vibration throughout my whole body. Did you see shadows on your beard as well? Yeah. So the scariest one that ever happened to me was I was in high school school my friend was sleeping over and we were up in the room above the garage where there's like two couches and i was sleeping on one he was sleeping on the other and we'd watched and or something like scary fucking alien abduction shit so i was horrified before i went to bed and uh he fell asleep real fast and i'm laying there right by this like big window and i was like

oh my god i'm gonna get abducted by aliens. Because I could like see the sky. And there were like lights moving every now and then like planes. And I was like, oh. You and I saw a really fun alien abduction movie though. We did. We did. But basically what happened was.

Phoenix whatever. Phoenix Rising. I fell asleep like terrified of being abducted. Isn't that the X-Men movie that came out? I don't know. But then I woke up. And I was like fully. I had sleep paralysis and i was like it's happening i'm being abducted like this is it and i opened my eyes and and

in my sleep process i swear i saw this like gray alien looking over me like looking straight down at me and i tried to scream and i couldn't and then it just like went away and then i was horrified and i fell asleep and my friend woke me up 30 minutes later freaking out because he said like i had sleep paralysis and felt like i was being abducted by an alien and i was just like okay are are we actually no stories like that are exactly why people think they like there are aliens well it's still to this day it's freaky i'm sure just because we both watched alien movies just a freak coincidence but still that night i could not go back to sleep because i was like i don't see things when I have sleep paralysis. Because like for me, it's like I'm really tight with my eyes.

And that used to be my excuse. But you said like people say that they can see things when their eyes are closed. It's like a hallucination. I've only had sleep paralysis like once or twice. But it was like, it was one of those ones where you wake up. You know, sleep paralysis is like sometimes when you've woken up. I'm foggy and I'm still unaware if it's a dream or if i'm awake but you're like a weird subconscious state i remember waking up and then like i couldn't i don't i could

move it was one of those multi-legend basically i woke up like set up and there's just this fucking dark thing with like it sounds cliche generic but it had you know like just this dark shadowy shimmery object figure with like like piercing eyes it's always piercing eyes why eyes it's always like is it because we recognize people through their like eyes that's more but i think anyway i saw her i was like what the fuck and then i woke woke up you know like holy shit and then i was like stuck like in my bed like you know completely stiff and there was all these i it was like i could see like a third person view of myself of all these astral projected shadow creatures climbing through my window and like

surrounding me and i was just pinned down i was like trying to move my head and then i i i literally woke up because i jolted my head so far sounds horrifying i haven't had that that's i'd have to turn on all the lights and i woke up in the process of like my because i obviously i'd finally because i couldn't move broke it i finally moved my head and i woke up like like smacking my head like really fast i'm so terrified after like being able to move from sleep paralysis like i'll have my eyes closed and i'll just feel around for my light to turn on before i feel another hand just like did you guys ever try lucid dreaming no i so you know all of my dreams are lucid but i don't know it's a dream like i can control all my actions in my dreams but i never know i'm dreaming there was one time

when i was a kid where i knew i could control my dream and i remember it because i was like i'm gonna turn to a frog and i did and it And it was fun. I did that too. And actually, the coolest dreams I've ever had are always flying dreams. And lately, I've been having these dreams where I'm flying around Shanghai like a million miles per hour. But it's the moment I realize it's a dream I'll wake up. No, I have the exact same thing. But at some point, I think during high school,

because you can actively lucid dream. Yeah, there's ways to do it. You have a dream journal and all that stuff. But anyway, for like two weeks straight, every time have like a dream journal all that stuff but anyway i was like for like it's two weeks straight every time i had a dream i would like write down what happened because you know you know when you have a dream you forget it like an hour later yeah yeah um but basically there were all these little steps you could do like when you realize you're in a dream you would like oh no when you were dreaming you would cut when before you went to sleep,

you would consciously think of turning the lights on and off. So then when you entered a dream, it would be, you know, dreams are based on what you think about. So in the dream, when you flip the lights on and off, because it's a dream, the logic doesn't work. Yeah. So when the lights didn't change, you would realize you're in a dream. And then that's when you could do whatever the fuck you want.

What if you're trapped in some fucking scary dream yeah but how do you can you get out if you if you can control your dreams that well that tell us like you know people could be the people who can lose a dream you could spend the thing doing like flying around on the moon fighting unicorns and shit and then 99% of the people use it for sex it's like bruh like you can literally do you can experience anything you wanted you could like you're not you're gonna have sex in real life like otherwise you can just in your dream you can literally do fucking anything yeah i only lucid dreamed like once when i was trying it and then i woke up because i realized i was

dreaming it was like i woke up and there's just this guy in a business suit sitting on the edge of my bed he's like yo that's a ghost that's haunted. That's really spooky though. He was just like what's up? Hi, darling Love the memes. I mean he put on his business hat and walked out the door. He's through the wall He's like what's up? I was like, ah, nothing much because you know what a dream everything makes sense. Yeah And then I went to walk out the door. I was like, wait a minute Why the fuck is this this random business dude in my bed? I was like, oh i'm in a dream It's like fuck. Yeah, I finally did it. Oh and then everything started shimmering and then i woke up i was like

fuck i'm gonna have a lucid dream now because we've been talking about them yeah i was like i was just about ready to literally like fly through the roof because apparently you can just do anything yeah flying's the most fun shit to do in dreams it feels so fucking real but uh be nice anyway dolan thank you so much for coming on man like for real it's been a pleasure we wanted to have you on since the very beginning it's been a minute a day i remember us talking yeah i remember i messaged you like two and a half years ago i was like do you want to come on the podcast yeah but uh for real man thank you so much this was this was a this is like really just we we usually never go this long yeah i'm actually surprised to be fair i thought you

were gonna do the ending spiel when we got on to incest like i thought that's where you'd be like you know i was actually going to but then i was like it's it's gone you know let's see where it goes i like i like so you're like trapped here he's like god damn it's 40 minutes they're not ending i can't end it it's their show yeah i'm just like thanks for coming along guys thank you for having me yeah but seriously where can people find you pardon where can people find you um just anywhere like your handles where memes are i don't really care about self-promotion you really okay yeah just no i mean like where can like where do you live where can people find you yeah it's your address just docs you on the podcast actual address you can

go find him just go look for where memes are just go on nine gag you know okay that's his website it's it's what his name in the beginning rewind if you can't remember it that it's in the title of the episode that's right just look that up he's cool um and uh ryan do you want to plug yourself uh yeah you can find me at subway on Twitter and on Instagram I am triple three so go find me and like all my shit I'm a you can find me I'm

Denise Williams on Instagram make sure you go like all my photos and comment on them with a capital C Denise? yeah don't you spell it with a C? who am I following? my photos and comment on them capital C Denise yeah no where's their see in that don't you don't you spell it with a C who might follow him what's your handle

on Twitter Matt H Watson okay well I'm you can find me at Matt H Watson please send me actually bye everybody dude thanks so much