supermegashow - EP 15 - Fast Food Chronicles

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

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It's not just some podcast. Welcome to Super Megacast. I am Matt Watson and I'm here with my lovely friend. And partner. Well, not like a life partner. No, like a business partner. Well, I'll probably know you for life, but... a life partner no like a business partner well probably know you for life but oh sorry not a business partner a fun partner friend uh ryan mcgee that's that's mr ryan mcgee over there and we are here to bring you a fresh brand spanking new episode of super mega cast for all of you guys to uh feast your ears upon we got some fun

things to talk about today a bunch of fun things to talk about are you excited for all of you guys to feast your ears upon. We got some fun things to talk about today. A bunch of fun things to talk about. Are you excited for all the fun things we're going to talk about? I am excited for all the fun things we're going to talk about. First off, War Dogs is a movie that we saw recently. It's the latest movie we've seen. This movie review series is probably not going to come out for a long time, but it's going to happen eventually. So just sit back, relax, and be patient. But until it's they're still going to remain here on the podcast except

these aren't the reviews that you'll be fuck it okay anyways war dogs matt let's start out let's start off with the you know did we like it i loved it i really really enjoyed it i i liked it i i would say uh it's it's kind of like the same story in a sense as Wolf of Wall Street. It's like that same dynamic of coming from nothing or having kind of a shitty job and then building yourself up to be very rich and successful. And like all the downfalls that come with what you're doing to become rich and successful. Just one of those like Martin Scorsese type of storylines in a sense. But it's directed by the guy who did the Hangover trilogy. Todd Phillips.

Todd Phillips. Our boy Todd Phillips. I think he also did Old School. He did that movie with Zach Galifianakis and Mark. Due Date. Yeah, Due Date. Mark. Mark Wahlberg.

Wait, no, no. Who? Fucking what's his name? Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, Robert Downey Jones. Yeah, they look alike. Robert Downey Jones. Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr.? Yeah, Robert Downey Jones. Yeah, they look alike. Robert Downey Jones. Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Wahlberg. We did see, we saw Robert Downey Jr. in person for probably three seconds. Yeah, he was in disguise. He was wearing a fedora. I remember that. Can't forget that. Nope. But War Dogs was a movie that Ryan and I have been anticipating ever since we first saw

the trailer way back in, what was it, like April or something? Yeah, I like Todd Phillips' style of making a dirty comedy. Not like dirty as in vulgar or anything, but you look at this... Gritty. Yeah, gritty. I like the actors in it. Miles Teller is from my favorite movie of 2014, Whiplash.

I have not seen Whiplash. You should. I would love to. Everyone tells me I should. And of course, Jonah Hill, which has surprised audiences everywhere in his other roles. He actually, you know, he's been doing more serious roles I mean War Dogs is still a comedy but

he played more of a serious character he's not a college student trying to get some poon he did a really good job I thought he played his character perfectly in a sense that like you really I think when someone plays a character and you really hate them like with a passion

Just because they're a piece of shit Yeah yeah like that's how you know I think they played a character Really well yeah he definitely plays a piece Of shit no you know spoiler alert It's not really a spoiler at all it's just He just plays that asshole friend you know The typical asshole friend in a comedy and um He uh Jonah Hill

He likes to uh gain And lose weight I'm not sure if it's for his roles but i would assume maybe they would yeah he was big in this movie he was really fat like old jonah hill fat i his performance at first like i wasn't set on it and then like after about like 10 minutes with the character i really got used to it and it just felt natural i was like okay i believe it it's good we're good now just at first it came off like a bit like because none of the other characters were very out there and zany like his character is i'm not saying he's like cartoon well he's he's more cartoony than the other characters definitely yeah but overall like i i think it had like the perfect balance of

comedy and then hardcore drama you know what i'm saying a? A dramedy. I love dramedies. They're like, it's the best genre. I like when the stakes are high. It makes you feel like they shot on location with the movie, too. I think they did. I mean, we could probably look that up. But, like, I don't think. When they went to Jordan, like, the country in the movie, and it seemed like they can't fake that.

Doesn't look like a Hollywood set to me. And same with when they were, like were driving from Jordan to Baghdad. It all looked really convincing. Yes. I mean, obviously, they didn't go to the real Triangle of Death, but... No. Which is like, Triangle of Death, I think, is an area between Baghdad and Jordan, which is one of the most dangerous places to go through in the world.

Is it still one of the most dangerous, or are there more dangerous places now due to the recent rise? I can tell you this. Apparently, the most dangerous place in the world, from what I've read, is the DMZ between North and South Korea. Oh, really? I don't know. The most dangerous place in the world?

They don't fuck around there. Oh, okay. But anyway, I really liked War Dogs a lot, and I would probably see it again. Yeah, it's definitely not my favorite comedy of the year. It's not the best movie I've seen all year, but it is definitely something I recommend to give a watch or give a try. Oh, definitely. Give it a try. Yeah, so we both recommend it on our own accord.

So take that. Take it or leave it. Yeah, and I actually surprisingly. I didn't like the actress. One more thing. Sorry. The actress who played his wife, I don't think she's a good actress.

Who was she? She was... What's her name? Fuck, her name... Ana de Armas? Yes. She played Iz. Yep.

She was also in Knock Knock, which is not a... It's a horrible movie. Knock Knock? That sounds like a Kevin James movie. Or not, yeah. It's a... What's knock that's bad Kevin James movie yeah it's a it's a what's his name Eli Roth directed it and then Keanu Reeves stars in it and then it's her and then some

other girl that also starred in Green Inferno just a clusterfuck of just terrible choices Eli Roth movies yep yeah yeah but I actually surprisingly have not seen Superbad you haven't neither Neither have I. Oh, really?

I've only seen bits and pieces like when it would come on TV. I've seen little bits of it too. Should we see? I don't know. I'm afraid I won't like it. Well, I think you should still see it anyway. It's not going to like ruin anything. True.

It's not like you have like a high holding of it already. That was more for like when we were young, that was for kids that are our age now. Like the older high school to, like, early college kids. Even though I'm technically the age where I should be a graduate of college. But, you know, I failed my parents on that regard. Fucking failure, Ryan. They're very disappointed in you. Yep.

Your mom texted me earlier today and said, tell Ryan I'm very disappointed in him. Tell Ryan he could have done something else. He could have done something, you know, productive with his life. He could have been an astronaut. Well, I don't know about that. That takes like a lot of... Could have been in the military. Definitely could have done that. Anyone could do that.

Could have sold your freedom away. God, that sounds shitty. I don't mean like any... What I mean is... Gay, black or white, yellow, blue. What? That are stripes. Ryan, you know that I'm blue. You are welcome in the military, kids.

Is that a real song? No. You just came up with that on the spot? Is that surprising? It didn't make any fucking sense. It didn't have any rhythm. You should, the military, if you're listening, anyone in the US military, get Ryan an interview to be hired as like the US military jingle

writer. We will win any war because everyone will want to enlist. There was actually yesterday or last night, there was like a massive earthquake in Italy that's killed like 250 people. Really? Yeah, did you even hear about that? No. Yeah, because it wasn't American. I don't keep up with the news. I just get news notifications on my phone every day,

so. Nothing surprises me anymore. Like, why do I need to be updated by constant tragedy? That's true. Nothing fucking surprises me. I don't care. It's bad, I get it. Boo-hoo. But you have to be updated with what's going on.

Yeah, what's going on is everything's just, just. Boo-hoo. Sad or bad? Is it sad or is it bad this time, Matthew? What is the news? Let's turn on the news and see. Let's play is it sad or bad? Or it sad or is it bad this time, Matthew? What is the news? Let's turn on the news and see. Let's play Is It Sad or Bad? Or Is It Dad? That's the secret

little channel where it's just Dale doing his dances. Dale loves his dances. You want to hear a funny thing my dad did? He danced? One time my dad was in front of the TV and I was watching and I was like, hey dad, move. And he started dancing because I told him to move. Really? Classic Dale. My dad, if I stood in front of the TV, he'd be like, you're not a window.

And I'd be like, what does that mean? He'd be like, I have to explain it to my stupid son. Just get out of the way, son. I know. He's like. I can't believe you didn't get that. You call yourself a comedian? But dad, I'm not even.

I haven't picked out my. My. My dreams. Dad, I haven't picked out my prom dress yet. What was your. Oh, my God. Prom. I went to junior out my prom dress yet. What was your... Oh my god, prom. I went to junior and senior prom. I did too.

And junior prom was a blast. Senior prom sucked ass. Both proms were decent. I just like... The events surrounding them were pretty just weird. Let me paint the picture for you, okay? Are you ready? Yeah, paint it for me.

Junior year. Yeah. Ryan knows a gal that he's he's been friends with uh since uh you know sophomore year of high school ryan and a whole year yeah her uh the girl for a whole year yeah no she uh she broke up with her boyfriend recently oh and so and her boyfriend was jealous of me because we were we hung out a lot and we talked and we were like hey how you doing i actually started to develop feelings for her uh yeah while she was still in the relationship and so uh i was like hey do you want to uh go to the prom she's like no i was uh yeah sorry

um someone already asked me i was like uh-oh then it turns out that other guy invited just a bunch of girls to the prom just to like so maybe one would say yes so so like it ended out that other guy invited just a bunch of girls to the prom. Just to like, so maybe one would say yes. So like, it ended up that she was just one of the many yeses that he had. So shitty. I know, so she was like, fuck it. And then we went. And then there was a chocolate fountain with cheese and crackers and shit. Cheese in the chocolate fountain?

And crackers? No, the chocolate fountain was separate. And then they also had cheese. I love fondue. And then crackers. And then senior prom, I wore a big, dumb, gray tux. Like you're going to your grandpa's funeral? Yeah, I looked like a fucking clown.

It might have been the clown shoes. So junior prom, I don't really remember it that much. I don't even remember junior prom right now. Really? Oh, I remember it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't that long ago for you what like a year ago? very funny Ryan

no I junior prom was fun I danced my pants off had a good time and then senior prom basically I went with a girl who's my friend and then the girl I actually liked I saw her talking about

how cute this other guy was And I got really depressed Depressed? You got depressed? Yeah I was like You were depressed because of this? I was really upset so I just left prom And also my prom So they booked this venue that I guess they sold more tickets

Than the venue would allow people in So people were like we paid $50 for a prom ticket You gotta let us in And people would like refuse to leave They're like yeah sorry ticket. You gotta let us in. And people would refuse to leave. They're like, yeah, sorry guys. Some of you just need to leave prom even though you paid. What?

Yeah, no, it was a clusterfuck. So then the DJ they hired was this just white, like 40-year-old dude named DJ Kyle. And DJ Kyle put his hands up in the air and refused to play music until people left.

What a fucking cunt, dude. So guess what? Every, almost every single person at prom left and got a refund. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the

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Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Good. Did you get a refund? No, I didn't. I don't know why. I never pursued that. My dad was like

He's not my son. I felt I had a lot of true man He did not because only true men asked for refund that is true only true men But I I don't know true I felt bad for the woman kind of like organizing the prom because I heard it wasn't it wasn't her fault But it was her loss and I felt I liked her a lot and I felt bad for us I guess I just didn't really bother But I said I walked back to my car which I parked like a fucking mile away and I was kind of passed out in my

car and I felt like shit and then that was a depressing night of my life depressing it was pretty depressing depression what a depressing night it was depressing yeah if prom's one of the most depressing I didn't say it was one of the most depressing I just said it was depressing prom is depressing

when you're there. Ryan? Yeah, but then that was my senior prom, and it was fun. It was awful. Absolutely awful. They played really shitty songs, and DJ Kyle wouldn't play the tunes. Thanks, DJ Kyle. You and I are recently having to make a detour whenever we want to walk to our apartment

because we can't go through a certain alleyway anymore. We can't. Because it's become... Kind of like a homeless city. Yeah. A big group started hanging out there. There used to be no one there, and it was like a very nice, empty alley. Yeah.

We don't have a problem with homeless people, of course. It's just they brought a couch into the alleyway, and they tip it over every night in different fucking positions. It's just thrown around. So it's like hard to navigate through the alleyway to like get to where we need to go. It's just like it'll be like thrown around. We'll come outside like 20 minutes later. It'll be somewhere else in the alley like flipped upside down. And then there'll be someone sleeping under it.

And then there'll be like two people sitting on it smoking cigarettes and it's like all right we can't get through this we need to get through this area to park and it's weird because like then also more have come more have come over time yeah yeah it's like it's slowly becoming like a little a little little town a little little hooverville if you will a little shire and and like then when you drive by they just like they'll stare at you like into your soul. And it's like hey. Like that time we were pulling into the Taco Bell drive-thru and there was this dude just

standing in the way just walking and like he wouldn't get out of the way of the car. Because we were just driving straight to the drive-thru and he was just walking and like he turned around and just stopped and stared at us like what? And it was like okay. So we drove past him and then he just walked by the car and just gave us like the most evil look.

He grimaced at you. I didn't want to make eye contact because... I held eye contact with him. I want to make it awkward. No, it's like, I feel like if you make eye contact with people, you're challenging them in a sense. Yeah, but I'm in a locked car.

Like if people have that mental state where they're very aggressive. They're children basically. I guess. They're like very primitive. Like even like some dogs or whatever. Aren't you not supposed to look them directly in the eye? Just any predator, you shouldn't look in the eye.

Any big thing that can kill you, don't look it in the eye. Because it's challenging them or something, right? Yeah, something like that. They don't like eye contact. Yeah, so I feel like that with certain humans that walk a certain way and just look mad at you for no reason. But this has nothing to do with homeless people. Just another another type of observation of humans. Another another.

Yeah. Another observation of humans is one time back in South Carolina, I was getting my car fixed and I went to go get a pack of cigarettes. This was like a while ago. And there's this guy sitting outside and he's like hey can i have a cigarette i'm like sure you know i'm gonna you know it's one of those days where like i'm gonna be nice i'm gonna be talkative you know life is too short blah blah blah and so uh no this was like two years ago jesus anyways um so i was fixing out my car we

smoked we talked and he told me of like how he was a vietnam veteran and how he in his own words had all types of pussy so uh he then asked me for another favor he's like hey could you he was like fighting on the phone with his wife because his wife apparently left him on the side of the road because they got into a fight he's like yeah my wife just left me here and i need uh i need i need a ride back home i'm like'm like, okay. Sure. I'm feeling extra nice today. So he gets in my car. And then he, from the gas station, brings in like a six pack of beer. And he just opens one up and starts drinking with the window down.

That's illegal, isn't it? It is. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, dude, if cops see you, I'm fucked. I'm the one that gets shit on for that. Did you tell him that? No, because I didn't want him to get mad. It's just uncomfortable. It's like, oh, God.

I don't know what he's going to do. He's in my car now. I lost. Well, he doesn't care, though. He's like, yeah, I don't care. So he finished one and put it on the ground nice and gently. So blah, blah, blah. He opened another one, started drinking.

I'm like, where are we going? He's like, pull into this neighborhood. So he directs me to the neighborhood and then we park outside of a house and he's I'm like is this your house he's like yes I'm like okay so then he calls someone gets in a fight with god knows who then he's like actually no pull up a little more the president of the United States what if it was and so we pull up to another house then he just gets out i'm like is this the place yeah hold on one second i'm like okay i just want to get you to where you are i'm trying to be a nice

person and uh he starts he he unzips his fly and starts urinating on the front lawn oh god of this uh person's house are you serious yeah and i'm just sitting there in amazement honestly i think i've just given up at this point and then he walks back gets in the car and I'm like hey I'm just gonna drop you off he's like yeah that's fine so I just drop him off at a waffle house and that's the story of whatever this guy's name is let's call him Brenjamin

I guarantee right now Brenjamin's a multi-millionaire he's sitting in his mansion he's a mogul he's listening to super mega cast like oh my god it was him i gotta thank him like a check comes in the mail for like three million dollars next week that would change my life brinjamin and it's like signed from brinjamin to ryan mcgee from brinjamin but there's a wink at the end of brinjamin because he's like that's not his real name but he's like hey you talked

about me and then you can't cash the check because he signed it fraudulently. It says Benjamin with a wink. And they're like, whoa, we can't accept this check. That's not a real name. But what if legally that was his signature? Then you have to go and be like, hey, man, I need you to get your name changed. Instead of just rewriting the check, he has to go get his name legally changed. It's a Benjamin winky face. Benjamin.

How hard is it to get your name legally changed? How long is that process like? I don't know. I'd imagine it would be as hard as getting a divorce. That's pretty hard. Yeah. How hard is it to get your name legally changed? How long is that process like? I don't know. I'd imagine it would be as hard as getting a divorce. That's pretty hard. Yeah. Because it's like, I don't know, dude.

I feel like not a lot of people change their names, but it's when people change their names. Usually it's really crazy people that change their name. There was a dude that changed his name to, fuck, what was it? He tried to sue Jackass. Yeah. Some dude changed his name to jackass and um because he was like a comedian he legally changed his name to jackass because the government let him do that and then after like the jackass movies became really successful he sued jackass saying they were stealing money from him by like he didn't win right please no no no he didn't win

um but sometimes people win in that in those shitty circumstances like people will sue mcdonald's for their coffee being too hot it It's so fucking stupid, dude. Because I worked fast food for a few years. And I honestly, I do recommend working fast food because for a lot of you entitled millennials, I think that working fast food or just working service kind of shows you what people are like. Because it kind of shattered my illusion that everyone's like nice. You and I both worked with customer service because I worked at a grocery store and you a grocery store and you were so we had like I think it's a really good experience Yeah, because like looking back. I think was a great experience because you get to see that people fucking suck

Yeah, and and it kind of opens your eyes, and it you know kind of hardens you a little bit to reality I guess and here's here's the thing and it teaches you you know you're always taught if you're nice to people They'll be nice back type of thing yeah your job is to be nice to people so you're nice to people like almost 100 of the time people are nice to you probably i'd say 60 to 50 of the time otherwise they're not rude but they're neutral yeah just and it's just it just shows you it's almost like you're in a zoo, I'd say. And you're just kind of like watching people and how they act. Yeah.

That's what I did. Like at a cash register, I would just. People watching. Yeah. And then when I had the deal with the front end, because then I got off the cash register and was like in charge of all the people at the cash registers. I forget what that title was. But like, God, some of the customers and some of their fucking complaints.

what that title was but like god some of the customers and some of their fucking complaints people like god there's just so many fucking entitled just people that that see people in the service industry as just shit humans and and i that i use i worked at chick-fil-a and i had to deal with a lot of like older white people that were really really wealthy that just didn't give a shit they just want they wanted their chick-fil-a as you lived in a plantation Charleston I did I lived in Charleston South Carolina, so I got a lot of those old Charleston people speak Oh with a southern drawl yeah that little southern charm accent. They'll come through and be like Yes, I'd like a chick-fil-a chicken sandwich, please But I remember this this one girl

Or this woman called and said that her sandwich was so hot when she took a bite that she had to be hospitalized for like third degree burns in her mouth. We're like, when was this? And she was like two hours ago. And it's like, then how are you fucking calling us on the phone? It's like people are so stupid. And I remember there was this one dude who always came to the drive-thru. And I got to do the voice. This is how you order.

He'd go. I'd be like, thank you for choosing Chick-fil-A. This is Matt. How may I serve you today? And he'd be like, he'd get really close up do the voice. This is how he'd order. He'd go, I'd be like, thank you for choosing Chick-fil-A. This is Matt. How may I serve you today? And he'd be like, he'd get really close up to the receiver and he'd be like, yes, I would like one Chick-fil-A chicken. Or no, it was he ordered a char. Yeah, you go.

I'd like one Chick-fil-A char grilled chicken sandwich. And instead of the crisp waffle potato fries, I would like a signature side salad with classic buttermilk ranch dressing, and then a tall glass of water to wash that down. And every time he'd come through, I'd be like, guys, guys, it's him! So other people could hear it. And then I'd be like, the best part about this dude is he would start to yell. If like, I'd be like, I'd mess with him.

I'd be like, what was that? A char-grilled Chick-fil-A chicken. And then after like the second time, he'd be like, a char-grilled chicken and then after like the second time he'd be like a char-grilled chick-fil-a chicken yeah like not not in really a mean way but more than just like a and then he would pull around to the window and he'd always just be a huge dick in real life he'd just like count his coins and just not even look at me and just kind of drop them into my hand and not say i don't know dude it's it's a stupid thing to get pissed over, but I would always get bothered when people would come through and they just like, wouldn't make eye contact and they won't say thank you. They won't like acknowledge you. It's like, it's,

I don't know. It's a stupid thing to get mad over, but I get really pissed when people don't say thank you. If I like hold, if I like go out of my way to hold the door for someone and they just walk right through in their own world, it's like, eh, that's kind of shitty. I got a question. I got an answer. What was the biggest complaint? Chick-fil-A? Yeah. Biggest complaint that someone had.

The biggest complaint of one time or overall? Like, the amount of this one complaint was higher than the amount of any other complaint given. So, when you work, I think this is the way for most restaurants, just most cash registers. I think you can probably, because you work at cash registers when the drawer is shut it can't be open unless you open it with a key or make a transaction right yeah okay so or well we did we had this

like button combination but sometimes you would need the like front end assistance key yeah we didn't have that we had to either make a transaction or we had to have a manager come unlock the drawer so I remember it was within my first few months working there because they tell you how much change to get back,

and then it's up to you to do the math in your head. So I give this woman her change, and the drawer shuts, and she stands there, big line behind her, and she sifts through the change and goes, you forgot to give me a penny. And I'm just like, yeah? Yeah, I'm short one cent. And I'm just like, yeah? Yeah. I'm short one cent. And I'm just like, let me go get my manager from the back.

It's Southern pride at this point, right? Yeah. So I have to go back. I have another story about that, too. So I go back and I have to fucking get my manager from the back with a long line and go unlock the drawer so I can give her her penny. And that actually happened about three different times while I worked at Chick-fil-A. It's so shitty. It's like, how often do you, like, who even uses pennies? I haven't used a penny

in like two years. I never use pennies. Unless, like, I know that I'll have exact change, like, if I'm in the car and it has change in my cup holder, I don't carry around pennies with me. Pennies, I just like, toss them. They get lost. I've lost more pennies than used pennies. That's a fact. I think that's a fact for everyone.

Ryan, if you actually saved all your pennies you'd be a lot richer. Another story about like southern pride. It's like a really big thing. I was going to work with my buddy Jose who, it's a guy who I made like those old We Sell Drugs videos and stuff with. Great guy, but

he worked at Chick-fil-A with me. That's how we met. And we were on our way to work one day, and we stopped at McDonald's to get breakfast, and there was this, like, big, old, fat, white dude, um, very southern white dude in front of us in line, and he's like, I want the big breakfast combo. Alright, sir, it's gonna be this much. And he's like, well, no, that's gonna be this much. It says it on the menu, and you're charging me three cents more. Sir, uh, price has changed, uh, overnight and we haven't updated the menu yet. Well, that's three cents. I'm not paying.

I'm not paying it. You're taking it off. That is, I think that is like a lot. If like the price tag says that, then you can't charge them more. It was the morning and it changed last night. And like, yeah, I totally get that. I'm saying like physically the price tag. that, then you can't charge them more for what it says. It was the morning, and it changed last night. And, like, yeah, I totally get that. I get that. I'm saying, like, physically the price tag.

That's his only defense. But he's being stubborn for no reason. Yeah, because it's like three cents. And he's like, I'm not paying that three cents. It's like, holy fuck, dude. It's three pennies. And he just, like, turned around and looked at me and Jose, and he's like, Christ. Like, we're in agreement with him.

And we're just like, dude, you're holding up the line I'll fucking pay the three cents you should have done that he would have been like I mean I have I have three I have three pennies I'll fucking pay it it's not a big deal no I have I have three cents I can pay it if I wanted to then pay it

no then I'll pay it I just want to fucking get my food dude I want my food for the price that it's promised! Well, you're being a big baby. Go home and suck- No, you're being a big baby. No, I'm being a grown adult, offering to pay for- No, you're being a grown adult. I'm not freaking out over three cents.

You're the one freaking out over three cents. At that point, I would just probably grab his nuts. With like one- one strong clutch. He'd be like, Now you're the one grabbing my nuts! Yeah, I am, and I'd pull his trousers down and suck them off right there in the McDonald's. Yay! You have any good shitty service stories? I'm sure you got plenty working at a grocery store in South Carolina.

Just like women bathrooms are the most disgusting compared to men's. Oh my god, yes! They're so gross. No one believes me. Girl bathrooms are way gross disgusting compared to men's. Oh my god, yes! They're so gross. No one believes me. Girl bathrooms are way grosser than male bathrooms. Like, there are more cases of shit splattered on the wall in female restrooms than male restrooms. There are more cases

of female products not being disposed of properly and just strung about wherever they could throw them. There's more pee on the toilet seats than women. No, because they hover over the seats. They don't want to sit and piss. Yeah. So then they pee everywhere

because it's harder for them to aim. Can't they just make the fucking toilet paper things? I do that. Yeah. Like you take some toilet paper when you sit down and make like a nice little seat. Yeah. But like the thing is,

I remember on like two separate occasions at Chick-fil-A, a woman had defecated her slacks and like a responsible adult had taken off her underwear, which was filled with fecal matter and her pants and, you know, she didn't want to throw it in the

trash can. That'd be too much work. Of course. Instead, she got behind the toilet and stuffed them behind the toilet. No one's gonna find it there, Ryan. And another woman, I don't know if it was intentional, if she was psychotic, but she had shit in her pants and her hands and she had smeared it all over

the bathroom stall and the wall and the toilet and stuff. So that was a grown woman that did that. And also another time, this big woman came in and a big Madea looking lady she comes in and i was like wow it's like 20 minutes before we closed i was like huh something smells like pee and then i i looked at this woman and her pants were just drenched in piss did she know she didn't

know she didn't know i think she was mentally ill or something but she or she was just really big but i don't know how you wouldn't know you pissed yourself She orders food perfectly normal Goes and sits down at a seat Sits there until the restaurant closes Gets up and leaves There's a puddle in the seat Yeah well not really a puddle Cause she had already peed It was just damp

Yeah it was moist And I was just And I had to clean up the seat and shit And sorry one more story about piss It's just all flooding back to me This kid This kid There was like the playpen at

chick-fil-a and to get into the playpen you had to climb up like a vertical tunnel that had like uh alternating steps i guess they weren't really steps you kind of like had to snake your way up it but if you're a kid you can do it but behind each step was like a big space uh or behind the first step was a big hollow space no one could get to. A kid whips out his dick and just fills that thing with piss one day. Oh my god. And we can't get it out. So, true story.

And I didn't know what to do, so I just sprayed a bunch of Febreze in it and left it. And it's still to this day probably filled with piss. Really? I mean, it's dry by now, but there's no way to get in there and clean it unless they remodeled the thing And another time I took a shit down a fucking down the slide Why?

Oh my god And they would send like Jose in to go clean it up And um and but but they're like hey if you clean up bodily fluids you get a free dessert Thanks Really? Yeah I'm sure you want a poop looking like an ice cream cone. Like a chocolate ice cream cone.

Yeah. Hey, I just cleaned up some. Oh, God. But they'd be like, oh, you can get some free fries. I just cleaned up a kid's fry vomit. I don't want free fries. Because this little kid came in. He had just gotten his.

Their waffle fries are good, though. Oh, they're delicious. Chick-fil-A is unbelievably delicious. But this kid had just got his yellow belt in karate, and he comes in, and he's like, I want fries! And his mom's like, I'll get you some fries, sweetie. And he gets a large fry and, like, eats it all and then just hurls it all over the floor, and I had to go clean that up.

It's disgusting. And there's a lot of people puked in Chick-fil-A. Oh. Well, you don't like vomit. You're not one for vomit. I eat vomit. And I heard a kid puke once and it scared me. Did it give you PTSD?

I got triggered by that vomit. You got PTSD triggered from that. I got PTSD's nuts. I can tell you that right now. Mike didn't even pick that up. Nope. I pooted though. Ryan farted.

I did. Big fucking surprise, dude. I am a big fucking surprise. Surprise. I want you on my birthday cake next year. Ryan. Huh? I want a big birthday cake and I want you to pop out of it. I would if you paid for it. With little nipple tassels and stuff? If you paid for it, I'd do it. If you paid for a giant birthday cake. It's a birthday

surprise, though. I don't want to spend it on... You're not gonna buy it for me. I never said for you to buy the cake. I just want you to pop out of it. Get other people to get me a big cake. I'll get Brent to buy it. Yeah, get Brent to buy it. No, no, no. If that's the case, I want Brent in there with you. cake. I just want you to pop out of it. Get other people to get me a big cake. I'll get Brent to buy it. Yeah, get Brent to buy it. No, no, no. If that's the case, I want Brent in there with you. Okay. I want you both naked,

naked nipple tassels and I want you covered in Vaseline. And I want you to both be wearing like one diaper. Okay. And I want you guys to pop out and just, surprise! What you wearing? Hey, what you wearing? Fucking love Brent. Brent is so awesome He's the best manager

He was scooting around The office today Yeah, you got a great Little clip of him scootering It's only for me to enjoy I wanna enjoy it too It's really funny It's just like a still shot

And then Brent just rides by On the scooter You know who Brent is He's the manager of Game Grumps He's so fucking awesome He's also our lawyer And he's a sweet Wonderful little man

And he has a Twitter I think it's like The Brent Lilly on Twitter Go check him out He's cool fucking awesome. He's also our lawyer, and he's a sweet, wonderful little man. And he has a Twitter. I think it's like the Brent Lilly on Twitter. Go check him out. He's cool. We love him. Never loved a man like I've loved Brent. What about your dad? What about your sister?

Real funny, because my sister had the sex change, Ryan. My sister didn't actually have a sex change. She just got married to a man. Oh, that's unfortunate. There's nothing wrong with getting a sex change. She just got married to a man. Oh, that's unfortunate. There's nothing wrong with getting a sex change. She's just a part of the problem. Yeah, she changed her last name and everything, so. Ah, dude, I gotta change her last name in my phone.

That's weird. Well, what's the, like, marriage? Like, what's the benefit of it other than, like, I get to, you become technically, technical family and you get to, like, visit them in the hospital during dire circumstances and like legal benefits i guess are there like tax write-offs when it comes to having a spouse yeah that's why that was one of the big things about uh that was a big thing during the gay marriage fight like it wasn't just a gay marriage fight great gay marriage war no battle of the great gay marriage that was one of the things about gay marriage was you know it wasn't just about having the same of course the biggest part was about having the same rights and being able to marry whoever you that's the pinnacle of the movement yeah but there

was also a big thing about benefits you know people it's like when you're married to a spouse you get certain benefits that involve i don't know what they involve it involves money stuff though i don't know if it's like well it like and the hospital thing yeah that kind of thing too and it's like say you've basically been you say you've you have this partner you've been your partner for 60 years and you're both gay and it's like they're in the hospital dying and it's like sorry immediate family only

and you can't go in and see them there are stories of that that fucking sucks I know it was bullshit but now you know i would never forgive someone for that i would i would i would race hell about that for the rest of my life oh yeah i would never be okay with that if i didn't get to see like my dying partner because they're like sorry immediate family only and it's like just because i don't have a government piece of paper saying that i'm legally bound to them i can't go see them but now everyone can get a

government piece of paper yeah and be and be uh looked upon by the government and be filed in their filing cabinet of marriages you think they have just like one big filing cabinet just packed with papers like marriages yeah then they have another one for the for divorces a little paper shredder that just says divorce on it and they just drop the files into it god that's the thing though like marriage like there are benefits but it's hard to want marriage when divorce is you know the rates are so high and you always go i'm gonna be with someone gonna make sure we never get divorced what do you think most marriages start out they're not gonna start out going you know this is gonna end one day

they're like they're they're full-on just yeah this is gonna last we're gonna do this we love each other and it ends well people like, they're full on just, yeah, this is going to last. We're going to do this. We love each other. And it ends. Well, people find out they're not compatible because I think a lot of people get married. Because I think a lot of people get married while they're in a very glamorous phase of the relationship. The honeymoon state. Yeah, that's why I think it's very important to not date someone for just a year and then get married. Because if you're going to spend your life with them, spending a few more years dating isn't going to change anything well there also goes the

whole thing like is monogamy something that humans are meant for like as a species i don't know anything about that because i buy no i'm like i'm just talking real like biologically you know we're supposed to spread our seed type of thing yeah like Do you think that plays any role today in our like minds like underneath? I think that's why people cheat. Yeah. I think that's a big reason why people cheat. Why people are unfaithful and stuff. Like of course there's the emotional stuff like that but

it also has to deal with just kind of being horny. I'm horny right now Ryan. Then come over here and cheat on your girlfriend Okay I'm pulling my trousers down I'm preeing dude That joke's on so many channels

It's on Game Grumps, Super Mega What was that? That was my flip flop It sounded like a terrifying screech I thought it was like a radio signal coming in from outside the door From our recording studio i'm like it's the fbi about to kick down our door yeah how dare you boys talk about the government you're under arrest for being gay in the future do you see yourself married yeah do you see yourself with kids yeah i do well what's what's well i can't i can't what's the what's the what's the what's the

draw for you because like i used to really want kids. I used to really, I don't know. I would always be like, man, I can't wait to trick-or-treating stuff. I can't wait to buy presents and surprise them and be a dad. I lost that completely recently. I think a lot of that has the possibility to come back as you become older and more mature and start to like settle down with life i feel part of that might come back more but part of it's not being adventurous for me it's not like i want to do more with my life i mean

that's part of it part of it's like i have no open like my mind it's just like i can't see myself wanting to spend that much time and effort on that yeah no i mean i that's a totally valid opinion and that who knows maybe 10 years from now i'll change my mind you might have a wife who really wants kids and you love her and you're gonna be like okay yeah i'll have a kid yeah i mean i don't i honestly thinking back now i i kind of take back what i said i do see myself getting married i don't know well it's hard to think about right now because you're young we're living we're very young i'm 20 you're 22 yeah and we're living in like a phase in our lives where we have so much freedom yeah and and it's hard to comprehend like another lifestyle where we are bound down by you know having a spouse and having a child because once you have a child,

there's no getting out of that. There's no like, no, there's no like, oh, I'll only be responsible for him for a little bit. It doesn't go away. When you have a kid, you have a kid until you die. Yeah. So it's like, that's a massive fucking responsibility. And, you know, people like, I think a lot of people get married too early and have kids too early and end up very miserable. And I think that if I do end up. Some people end up very happy. Yeah, absolutely. And if you can, go you.

I'm glad that you can find happiness with your life. But I think that for me to have a kid and I'm not ruling out having a kid, you know, like I'm saying, I just, it's hard to see right now because it is a lot of money and a lot of responsibility. And I, I, I'm not mature enough right now to think about having a kid and I'm not mature enough to have a kid right now. I couldn't have a kid right now. I'm not financially stable. I'm not, you know, honestly, I'm not mature enough to have a kid, but I don't, I've learned this and I looked at, I've looked at people around you know just kind of like you know you've been to high school with a lot of people you meet a lot of people along the way none of these people are friends of mine or I consider them friends of mine so like I'm not

risking any offense but I think I've I've realized that you're you're never like old enough to have a kid like you're never like like you're you're your age is older but i feel like when i'm 40 i'm gonna kind of just at the heart of myself bead that i'm gonna laugh at the same shit you know oh absolutely yeah of course you know i you and i have both changed a lot in the past year so god knows how much more we're gonna fucking change changes um now we'll be doing a toy unboxing channel. Yeah, I mean, think about that, dude. I mean, a lot's fucking changed. You, you, uh, uh, you and I have started Super Mega. Yeah, just in

the last, it's only been about four, five months now. Yeah. We're almost, we're getting, we're creeping our way up to 100,000. Yeah. So, thanks to everyone who listens to our podcast and watches our videos. It's kinda weird, um, taking it back real quick, like, actually, who is it? Bion watches our videos. It's kind of weird. Taking it back real quick. Like, actually, who is it? Bionic Pig TV.

He's part of that podcast, Hot Wet Soup. He actually just had a baby last week, I think. Really? Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, he's posted about it on Twitter. What? Okay, he posted about it on Twitter.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's not secret. He posted about it on Twitter. But he just had a little baby. Congratulations. Yeah. Grayson. I'm not going to, but he's going to have a. Yeah, he's going to have a little boy, isn't he? Yep.

Little boy. Grayson from the old Cineco videos. Rodney. Rodney the frag grenade. That guy. He's about to have a little kid. Yes, he is. Everyone is growing up.

We're sitting here making dick jokes into a microphone for tens of thousands of younger people. And if you're older than us, then yep. Thanks for growing up with us, I guess. Thank you. It's kind of weird to think about too because like the podcast, say it gets 10,000 views in a week. That's like us doing it in front of an audience of 10,000 people. I don't feel like that though. Yeah, it doesn't feel like that.

No part of me feels like I'm speaking to a mass crowd. It just feels like I'm speaking to small individuals because their voices look so similar in the comment section. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's so many people, because I think a lot of the commenters kind of have the same mindset and a lot of people. Yeah. I think a lot of more mature watchers don't really leave comments because I never comment on videos. I've never commented. I only commented on videos when I was young.

Yeah. I mean, like, a part of that also is just kind of like, I guess my whole feeling. I just, I don't think I'll ever feel big, you know, in terms of YouTube popularity. Well, looking in those pants, I'll tell you that's not the case. Ooh. But on that note.

I don't think, like, it feels weird. Like, that people actually watch us, you know? Part of me wants to kind of i wonder if it's just kind of like i don't feel like i deserve this form of success kind of yeah just because i don't know there's a lot of personal stuff to go along with it but it's just right now you and i have this gaming channel it's like all this stuff but there are people out there that are very fucking talented and work their fucking asses off to produce like really high quality like fucking content and i i want to i want to i want this channel to be of high quality content and we're

we're working hard we're working really fucking hard we're working hard on a lot of channels right now and um it's not too much work it's it's a lot of work but it's not too much and it's just i think it's it's more of the feeling of you always want to get better and so you're so i don't think i'm ever going to give myself credit to be like okay i'm good now i am done i am finished because you you always strive for that point but you never get there yeah but i think that's not a bad thing yeah I think that keeps you on top of things. Because what I've noticed is that when people do reach that level of success, they always say they're left in that kind of like, what do I do now state. Yeah.

And that can last a long time. So maybe it's best not to reach that point, you know? Yeah. You're like, if that point is attainable, keep trying to go farther. Because once you reach that point where you're like, what now? You find you're not as happy as you thought you're like if that point is attainable keep trying to go farther because once you reach that point where you're like what now you find you're not as happy as you thought you would be at that point but then you then you try to find something else and the next thing you know you're fucking you're on another journey yeah that too yep anyway guys uh i think that's a that's a good place to end this podcast with uh with ryan and matt bye bye sexual nope bisexual stop it