supermegashow - EP 168 - Artificially Intelligent Fan Fiction

Episode Date: November 15, 2019

We talk Death Stranding, a genius way to rob a house, and have a computer write fan fiction for us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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in Canada for a limited time. You're tuned in yeah why not start with that my dad used to listen to this conservative radio show that would always start with the Rocky theme and he was like I forgot what he said he's like we're being controlled by the PC

thought police I just remember it started with that wake up America He's like, we're being controlled by the PC Thought Police. I just remember it started with that. Wake up, America. It was one of those shows. My dad would listen to it every single day. Get ready to listen to Truth Radio AM. I think his name was Rocky D. AM Truth Radio.

It's always on AM, dude. It's always on AM. So it'd be like, with AM Truth Radio, the winner. We have some new news coming in Henry Clinton drinks the

blood of cancer patients dude I've been in the business of some like beta prostate commercial comes on

probably just blew out the fucking we need to fucking uh get on that AM radio trend that's big these

days fuck man you know what I'm sorry I gotta I gotta get a... Do you want some water? Yeah.

That actually sounds great. So while Ryan's grabbing those glasses of water for this delicious podcast episode, I'd like to say thanks for tuning in. This is Super Mega Cast episode 168.

I got some fun stuff to talk about today Ryan's getting water what should I talk about thank you all for the nice comments and streams on the new song I made with Kill Bill the Rapper and Freddie Dredd and Carson Tucker that's on Spotify and on my personal channel

if you want to go check that out what sorry are you plugging yourself no are you plugging yourself? No! Are you plugging your work? No no no no no no no no I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't. I was plugging a kid with a disease.

Something something Kill Bill the Rapper, something something Freddie. Did some fucking- I know you did a song with him. No I was just trying to fill time. Have water? Yeah, there. Ah, I spilled it on myself. I filled it up. Thank you, I spilled it on myself. I filled it up. Thank you.

I spilled it on myself. Because we only have little tiny mugs. I know. We don't have any glasses. I thought we had glasses at the Super Megaplex. Turns out we just have tiny little coffee mugs. They're not big coffee mugs either. They're little.

I feel like I'm on a talk show, you know? I know. You got the little mug. You got the fire in the background. I like this. This is really nice. This is a nice setup. Now we can have this setup, but we need to put it in the podcast room so so ryan put up a uh a video a looping video of a fire

on the television i think it sets the mood bro if we ever do a live action podcast that's what we gotta do just throw that up on a tv in the background we could uh actually buy from like target one of those like fires that just start and they're behind like a little painted oh the little fake ones yeah yeah i mean it's real fire are they yeah it's like you have to yeah uses gas it's think of what we used to have at our old apartment complex on the roof where we turned it on oh but it's just behind some some glass yeah it's it's a it's like a mini version of that that's cool i remember i i was freezing cold once and my my grandparents had one of those and it kept me warm and it was very nice there's like heat lamps yeah there's runs oh dude i i if la got colder i would definitely get one of those for my backyard because like it doesn't get too cold it doesn't get cold

that i it warrants not like there will be times where wearing a t-shirt, I'll just be shivering and miserable. But I don't wear heavy jackets out in LA. It's been pretty cold recently. Not cold, but it's been chilly. You definitely know fall is here. I was in my backyard and it was just... I was like, I got to go inside. It's too cold. It's too fucking cold out here.

Jesus. I just can daddle on inside. Put on a nice jacket. Took a nap, like i often do you okay say excuse me excuse me i haven't had anything to eat today i had some soda to drink though some of that soda that we have in the fridge that sounds that sounds like if i were you i would just crash nothing in my system but just soda soda cigarettes and weed that that that's that sounds like the most like the perfect combination to make me crash into like a five-hour nap i'm still going look at me i probably ate a bunch of garbage you know i had some tacos yesterday i'm actually pretty sleepy

right now i legitimately right now could go take a nap you could i could easily yeah so i feel like i need to eat something if you were to order mcdonald's right now, I could go take a nap. You could? Easily, yeah. I feel like I need to eat something. If you were to- I could order McDonald's right now. Eat something healthier, bro. McDonald's is so bad. What am I going to order that's healthier right now? There's a million things to do, bro.

Ryan, it's only 5 p.m. And Uber Eats for LA? You can order a million different things. Okay, let's look. Let's figure out what I can eat. Because I am- You haven't had anything today, have you? I made myself some mac and cheese earlier.

If I could – like if you left the room right now and I had a pillow, I could easily take a nap right now. Like I could probably be fully asleep within 10 minutes from right now. Well, we got a podcast to record, bub. But I could technically do that. And your watch is still going off no can't put that shit on silent can you i'm trying to figure out how oh yeah i think wait i think i know how hold on give me a hot fucking are you sure i shouldn't just order some mcdonald's i'm positive because then you're gonna hate yourself after you eat it it's delicious

it's not the taste it's the it's the content yeah Yeah. Am I going to... McDonald's is tricking you. I don't know what to get. Popeye's? That's probably even worse. I could get some Hawaiian barbecue. Dude, you should start... Dude, no more fast food, man. You got to get that restaurant shit delivered.

It's expensive, though. Yeah, but you got that podcast money. You're right, dude. I'll just order from restaurants for the rest of my life. I'll never go to one ever again. No, who needs to go to one when you can get it delivered to you an hour later cold? You know? Yeah, fuck.

Much better. See, you talking about like, man, you seem like you'd be tired. I feel like I was working off of just being in the moment i was too now i'm like now i'm noticing i'm like oh yeah i do feel pretty heavy right now thanks man i i genuinely apologize dude i didn't mean to it's fine that upon you because i i just realized how sleepy i was and still this moment i'm incredibly sleepy but you know we're we're only what five ish minutes into the podcast five yeah dude i was about to say like 15 no no no it says right now six minutes no seven we just hit seven seven minutes but again we cut stuff also we don't start right on the right on the dot god damn dude i I genuinely had no idea.

Yeah. Wow. We got to think of some stuff to talk about if we're going to have a podcast this week. All right. Throw out a word and I'll – Death Stranding. Okay, Death Stranding. It's a new game that come out.

It's a new game that come out. And that's all for this episode, guys. I've been playing it. Harrison has been playing it. Harrison's not here to say anything, but Matt has watched Harrison play it. I'm only about like four hours in, I'd say. What's that, like an 11th of the game?

Like a 12th of it? Yeah. That's crazy, man. It looks really cool. The graphics are cool. The story's cool. I like the soundtrack too. I just like the whole,

the world building's really cool. And the baby is my favorite part, like in the little tank. i like the soundtrack too i just like the whole uh the world building is really cool and the baby is my favorite part like in the little tank i like the idea it's it's um it's there's definitely some things that i feel like will just need to be explained later or maybe they won't be explained but i feel like generally i thought i was going to be a lot more confused by the narrative than i am like it's a pretty straight forward narrative if if you could break it down to bare bones it's very simple but it's the um it's the world building and like the little details they added to make this story like to make the story happen is what it's what matters well essentially anything bare bones like for example a great movie there will be blood bare bones you can make it sound

boring what would you describe it as uh If I was trying to make it sound boring? Yeah, just strip down everything about it and just give the basics of what the film is. Rich oil man in 1800s is mean. Is mean to other boy. Is mean to pastor.

Is that a good enough? I feel like that would make me want to watch it sounds interesting it's a good movie i watched a really good movie last night what is it called the king of new york the king of new york it was it was fucking great it's got it's uh come out it's it's it's chris christopher walken as the main character how long ago like what what at the 80s or 90s. Okay. But it's got Gus from Breaking Bad in it. Ooh. It's got Wesley Snipes.

It's got a lot of good actors. It's really fucking good. Steve Buscemi plays this one little character but just as a little cameo and he like just counts drug money. He's a little character with his little cameo?

Yeah. No, he's in like two scenes and he's just this like white drug dealer who counts drug money and he wears like a little fedora and he's like, give me a second man it's so ridiculous i love i love i love steve buscini in general oh he's incredible man he has one fucking like oh it's it's it's a heart-wrenching scene in a movie called i think the what is it called i i

don't want to say it's there's because there's a horror movie called The Messengers. And I think this movie is also called The Messenger. The Facebook Messenger movie. Yeah, it's called The Messenger. OK, but everybody's on the phone. What? What's the scene? The scene?

Well, the whole movie revolves around the cert. You know how like when uh someone dies in action uh sold it's not like you get a phone call or an email or a letter they come to your house in person it's about those people who have to go to those people's houses to inform them that their family member has passed away in war oh damn and so like a lot of the acting and stuff is just like raw just makes you like gut wrenching emotion. It just makes you feel bad. And there's one thing with like Steve Buscemi where so they go and tell I'm not going to spoil it much.

This is just like a little occurrence in the movie where they go tell him that his son is like passed away and he just starts getting like pissed off. Like because it goes through like different reactions of like he just it's kind of like denial in a sense but he turns around it's like just very angry and sad i want to watch that yeah it's it's really good i didn't know that movie existed i i liked it i think it's just one of those movies that makes you feel like shit i uh like woody harrelson's in it what's the movie where he he like gets the payphone he's like is it it's not Fargo. He's like, I'm going to come to your fucking house. I'm going to shoot you in your fucking head and I'm going to shoot your fucking kids too. What is that? You know what I'm talking about?

You've seen that scene, right? Yeah. I don't remember what it is. He's so good at playing those characters, like in Fargo. I thought you were about to just explain that movie. What's his name? He was in The Lobster. He's the main character.

Like Colin something? Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell. When Colin Farrell was in that movie about him in the phone booth and it's like he gets a call on phone he's like you can't leave this phone booth or i will kill blah blah blah blah blah do all these things and make these phone calls blah blah blah from the phone booth yeah so he's like trapped in a phone booth for the whole movie so the movie takes place in one location essentially damn there was well the main character is trapped in this one location. Essentially. Damn.

Well, the main character is trapped in this one location. There was a period of those stuff's going on around. Movies where it's like, we have your wife and now you're in the car and we're coming to you through video. So you must do all this daring driving.

Well, like the Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves movie. I can't remember the name. The Blind Side. No. Where Keanu Reeves plays the African-American. It's just Keanu Reeves movie. I can't remember the name. The Blind Side. No. Where Keanu Reeves plays the African-American. It's just Keanu Reeves in black. He plays an African-American football player.

That was one of his daring roles, I will say. He's done some daring stuff, but that one did take a kick. But no, the movie about that like bus where if it goes below like 50 miles per hour or something. Yeah. If it goes below a certain speed. Yeah. Speed. Okay.

Like speed. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speed. How fast do you go? Anyways, they can't dip below this speed. Oh, they made several of those. They made the bus one. They made the cruise ship one.

Wait, what? Yeah. They made straight to DVD type shit. They made one where it's a cruise ship that's heading towards they made like straight to dvd type shit they made one where it's a cruise ship that's heading towards land and like they can't stop the cruise ship so just let it crash into land it's a big ship it's not gonna i don't want to i don't want to spoil anything but it's not gonna kill if a cruise ship is beached it's not gonna kill anybody is it uh i guess it could tip over if it's going really fast. Dude, no. Those things, that's a lot of momentum.

It'll crash up on shore. Yeah, it won't kill anybody on board. And they can warn people. Yeah, I guess if it doesn't tip right. Get out of the way. I know. They'd be like, it's coming, move. But I guess the point of the movie is like, yeah, but if there's things that we can do

to prevent this from happening, we can do it. Sorry, real quick. No. There is, I've just learned about a website, Ryan. Yeah. That basically can write fan fiction for you based using a neural network processor. So I can type something in the neural network. Well, guess what comes next.

So I'm going to write a little story about you. Okay. Ryan McGee. From Super Mega. Was sitting. On the couch. With his friend. Matt.

Watson. I just got to give it a little prompt. Okay. Suddenly. Ryan. Became. little prompt. Okay. Suddenly, Ryan became erect. Ooh. Complete text. All right, let's see if this works.

At first, he thought maybe he was getting aroused, but then it dawned on him he was hard and started jerking off. As Matt watched, his friend looked over at Ryan and saw the huge bulge in his pants. Ryan said he couldn't believe that he had such a large erection. And Matt looked at him wondering where Ryan was going with this. Matt said that Ryan's hands started to move faster and faster until Ryan was going at least double hard.

Then Matt said that Ryan's erection almost came free and Ryan didn't want to stop. Matt said that Ryan's penis kept twitching uncontrollably as he was jerking off, but that Matt thought he looked just like a porn star so he didn't want to stop. Matt said that Ryan's penis kept twitching uncontrollably as he was jerking off. But that Matt thought he looked just like a porn star. So he didn't stop.

So wait, is that an AI? I just wrote that. Okay. Can I give you? Holy shit. Can I do a prompt now? That's incredible. Yeah.

Okay. I want to do a prompt. What the hell? This is fun. That was incredible. Okay. Okay. Ready?

You're going to type this in. Okay. Yeah. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done. Well, I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.

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He looked down and blushed. He looked down and blushed. That's it. Okay. Here we go. Let's see what it writes. and blushed. That's it. Okay. Here we go. Let's see what it writes. Matthew Watson of super mega fame was hanging out with his beautiful mother.

He looked down and blushed. The girl beside him said, don't look down and turned her back to the camera. It is clear this was no innocent flirtation. She's doing something inappropriate with the boy. I was so upset and disgusted that I couldn't take the camera to my room.

I called my dad to see what to do. I was furious. I called my dad and he said to me, if you don't have anything against this girl, just leave the room. And I did. My dad said something to me in the car as we were driving home. He told me I could have done something wrong, but that I shouldn't have been so angry. He said it would be much

easier to forgive her if I had that that's that's it and instead dude this is incredible holy shit let's each do one more this is okay okay so put one more in this is we got two more funny funny little stories coming up ryan mcgee arrived home he opened the front door and was met with a shock. His dog, Lego, had left him a steaming pile of feces on the kitchen floor. Ryan was furious.

Let's see where this, let's see where it takes this one. You gave it a lot to work with. I know, I know. Okay. No, no, you got to read it as you're experiencing it. Ryan McGee arrived home.

He opened the front door and was met with a shock. His dog, Lego, had left him a steaming pile of feces on the kitchen floor. Ryan was furious. He decided to post a picture of the mess on Instagram. See below. I am not a great dog, mom. I admit.

The dog was outside in the yard for hours. He had to be on a lead. He was never in any way supervised. His house was littered with trash and debris. In the picture, he looks so happy and safe with his family. I'm now thinking that I should do something to help with the dog's care. I don't have the time, resources, or

energy to care for this dog. This dog was my only family he had. I know I am a bad mommy, and I know I don't deserve to be a bad mommy. I have given this dog enough. It is up to me to do. So I give Lego up because he pooped and I'm a bad dog. You're a bad mommy. Okay. How did that first fan fiction was incredible though? I know. Okay. I got one. You want to write one out? Yeah. Let me write, let me delete it real quick. And remember the new iOS has swipe texting for those who who don't know, you can swipe text.

It's amazing. Even though Android did have it in like 2008. Matt Watson arrived home. I'll kind of use the same start. Arrived home to find Jackson and Harrison. Ooh, more characters. Harrison having sex in

the shower. Ooh. Matt ran to his room so he could hear just what was happening. Perfect. All right.

Okay. Let's generate it. It's generating. Oh, this one's short. No, keep scrolling. I get a load more. Matt Watson arrived home to find Jackson and Harrison having sex in the shower. Matt ran to his room so he could hear just what was happening.

Harrison then stripped naked and began performing oral sex on Jackson. Jackson then told Matt to get a knife from the kitchen and cut his throat. Jesus Christ. Wait, really? Yeah, Jackson then stabbed him with the knife and said that he was going to kill him with it if he did not let Harrison do it with her. Jackson then took her panties and put them on before heading out the back door to the front. Matt and Harrison followed them out and found them lying on the road. Jackson told Matt that she wanted to kill him and Harrison with the knife.

Matt pleaded with Jackson not to do it, but she still did. Matt tried to get Jackson to stop, but she refused and said she wanted to kill them both. Matt then grabbed Harrison and forced her to the side of the road while Jackson fled the area. Damn, that's like a

fever dream. I know. I like how that started with like Harrison starts getting his brother to suck him off and then all of a sudden this like murder thing comes out jackson goes by her wants me to cut my throat jackson goes by her i guess so it dude that made no fucking that was incredible that was fucking glorious i think that first one was the one that made the most sense though yeah that one was just like from start to finish. Like just absolutely flawless.

Oh, God, there's so many good. I'm just going to give it one sentence. Ryan McGee has become erect. He has no problem with that and neither does anyone else. His girlfriend has no problems with it either. But no one else seems to either. They've been dating for almost a year now. She's a good guy. The problem is that he is so incredibly hard to please that he often gets into arguments with her that end up getting him suspended from his job. And he's been kicked off a few more times because of them. I would recommend that you give this man

the benefit of the doubt until the end. He's a good guy with good intentions. Did you write this, Ryan? No. He might also want to keep an eye out for his friend, but it's not really his fault. Wait, is that about me? You might also want to keep an eye out for his friend, but it's not really his fault. The most bizarre part of this situation is that the guy who was going to be taking care of him was on his way to work the next day. The police department was on full lockdown. Damn.

Let me give one simple more one more i'm just to match it with because you did a simple sentence give me a simple sentence bro okay matt's no should i just say ann watson's i gotta bring my mother into this pussy stinks oh my god that's what i'm gonna say okay here we go ann watson's pussy stinks in her first appearance in the series penny meets the penny meets the girl who will be her love interest and the only person who will have a relationship with her and the gang as a whole her character is a lot more developed what the fuck is this her character is a lot more developed and we got fuck is this? Her character is a lot more developed and we got to know her a lot more. What is it writing?

Penny is not a slut and neither is she an easy target. She will not be able to just go in for the kiss and then immediately turn her back on it when she finds out she doesn't like it. We saw Penny's character grow over time. We saw her get into trouble.

We saw her have to work through some of her personal issues that had been lingering on her for years. She will not be able to be a victim forever. The only way to survive is to fight. Penny is an equal. She will not allow herself to be dominated by anyone ever. And she'll do everything she can to keep herself out of danger and keep.

Dude, that was like a Netflix series synopsis. I love how everything else is about penny but the first sentence in this story is and watson's pussy state now you don't know that you don't know that it's like it's like if a famous uh author just randomly like about his ex-wife was like, a trap smelled like fish and clams. Anyways, Sierra started walking towards the grim house. Okay, I put what's nine plus ten. Yeah. What the fuck?

Dude, you put numbers in there. It does not know what to do. The answer, the number nine it's the sum of the numbers from one to 99 but how much the number of nine on a phone comes out to be nine digits nine one zero one two three four five six seven eight nine it's the sum of the nine digits now the number of numbers from one to nine can't be a whole number the numbers can't even be an odd and it's a number that's even so it's impossible to add nine in a whole number. The numbers can't even be an odd and it's a number that's even. So it's impossible to add nine in a whole number no matter what kind of phone you're talking on.

No. So that means there's an even number that doesn't fit into that nine. That's the only one and the only number that's a nine or a 9.1. That's a nine. That's a 9.1. That's a 9.1. And it's this is incredible. That was the website. Something else.

Let me see. Are you about to give people the website so they can go do it themselves yeah and post it in the comment section below it's called talk to transformer.com everyone in the comments just start with one sentence and then you guys should tell a story yeah oh my god you can be like when i started watching the super mega cast i thought i was in for a good time and then uh dude let it complete your story we should let it do our ad reads we'll do points and let it fill in the rest i like that you don't like that idea no the brands won't like it i promise you that who says says the says the brands ladies gentlemen, I hate to do this, but my clothes are in the washer in the other room, and I need to transfer them to the dryer. Ryan, would you mind telling a delightful story while I do that?

Okay. You don't have to. Like a true story? Whatever you want. You can just talk. Okay. You don't have to, though true story whatever you want you can just talk okay you don't have to though I will

how long will it take you I just have to take a I have to fold a couple clothes out of the dryer and then throw the ones in the washer

into the dryer okay that's fun yeah I can do it I'll try to go as fast as I can yeah actually I won't even

fold clothes I'll just lay them out alright okay I need some water man I have As fast as I can. Yeah. Actually, I won't even fold clothes. I'll just lay them out. All right. Okay. I need some water, man. I have... You gotta go take care of your clothes. I'm gonna take care of business.

Nice. Business. Cool, brother. Hey, everybody. How's it going? It's me. We haven't had this one-on-one time in a while. I just like to say, I feel like I might have come off as harsh in a past movie review I gave about a certain movie called Jojo Rabbit. I still recommended it, of course, and I said that it was

a really good movie, but I've honestly seen it. I saw it another time of course, and I said that it was a really good movie, but I've honestly seen it. I saw it another time in theaters, and I think it's definitely one of those movies that makes you feel good. You don't get too many Holocaust movies that can actually make you – well, it's not a Holocaust movie. I guess the World War II movie centered in Germany dealing with the nazis and you know what's going on in the background anyways i just want to say that if you were on the fence on it um i i still suggest if it's in a theater go seeing it if if it's even still out or by just uh watching it because it's a very cute, uh, nice little film. Um, so yeah, anyways, uh, so yeah, I've been playing death stranding. Um, as I said, I'm only four hours in, uh, I'm enjoying it so far, but I don't, I have no idea what I will think, you know, 40, 40 to 50 hours, uh, continued, continued uh who knows if i'll give you an update but uh just thought i'd say

uh right now i i i couldn't recommend it to everyone i don't think it's a game that necessarily um is trying to be recommended like to be for everyone uh but uh i think i think you'd know it's one of those games where it's like you'd'd know if you'd like it, or at least, you'd know if you're intrigued, if you're like a little bit intrigued by it. And you're like, I guess I think I could have fun walking a bunch and micromanaging, uh, deliveries and just being, just having a chill time. Uh, cause there's not that much, not that much that, that keeps you on your, I mean, there's some stuff that keeps you on your i mean there's some stuff that keeps you on your toes but it's easy to deal with anyways that's a rant that's a dumb rant and i've said everything that any other fucking review has said so yippee i hope all of y'all are having a good day or night or whatever is going on wherever you are in the world. If you're thirsty, go get yourself some water.

Pause it right here. Go get yourself some water. And yeah, I feel like everyone could benefit from a nice glass of water. Notice how I said glass and not bottle. Because, you know, we're using a lot of plastic. And I know you're thinking, man, I surely can't make a difference. Well, I, I bet you can, instead of buying those 24, whatever bottled packs of water and throwing them in your fridge, get a nice little filter for your tap or even a Brita

filter, you know? Uh, it, it, I know it's expensive, uh, at first first and i know but over time i think i feel like it's definitely cheaper than buying a a three or four dollar two to four dollar pack of water but who am i to judge you know i mean i just did i didn't mean to though i was just saying that's more of like, I guess I was trying to talk myself into, into trying to cut back on having so much to recycle. Cause I buy what is it called? Vitamin zero, the lemonade stuff. Cause it's not too sweet. You know, lemonade, a lot of it's nice to have sweet

lemonade every now and then when you're having like a burger and then you're outside on a nice hot day but sometimes you just want that mild watery bullshit and uh feel like that brand does it well um what else can we talk about ladies and and gentlemen? Can I get some volunteers? Raise your hand. You're an idiot if you did. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Maybe.

He sure is taking a long time with that. He could be just standing outside of the door listening in and going, yep, that's me. I don't know. Maybe he's calling his mommy because I don't think he called his mom today which which is unfortunate i mean i i'm bad about calling my mom or texting my mom or really calling or texting anybody for that matter but uh oh i i hear him calling my name uh here comes matt uh oh i'm sorry he's taking a while i just want to let you know i'll be done in a second yeah it's a shit ton of clothes okay no it's fine i believe you i trust you as a friend you can take a break i'll take this challenge

really yeah you sure yeah i've been i've you know there's been some silences but i feel like it's You can take a break. I'll take this challenge. Really? Yeah. You sure? Yeah. I've been, you know, there's been some silences, but I feel like it's all about the experience of a one-on-one with the audience. That's good. Yeah. Okay, I'll be back. Okay. So I wasn't really saying anything of substance.

So let's change the subject. What is there to talk about hmm hmm anyone anyone playing Minecraft yeah that's cool what do you do

yeah this conversation shit's not going to work out. I can't, I can't fake a conversation with you guys. I can fake it. I can fake a conversation with someone else and then upload it. So you guys can hear it. I feel like that would be more entertaining. I'm just kind of twiddling my thumbs and shaking my feet right now. Let's see what's popular. I'll commentate on some popular things that are going on right now. Are you ready? I'll go to Twitter and then trending.

No Queermos Milicos. What? Oh, no. Oh, okay oh okay never mind i said that wrong so it's it's a um it's a it's a it's something to do with chili i'm not going to get into that i'm i was like sorry anyways no kiermos and i don't know that last word. So I can't really commentate on that. I have no, I don't know anything about it. Um, okay. Uh, what's going on with Steven Miller leaked Steven Miller email show that Southern poverty law center calls an affinity for white nationalism. Uh, I don't, I don't know about that okay let's let's just go on to on to for you these these are probably better things like little shitty ads for movies and stuff um deciding what to watch first is top priority for some disney oh my god uh this is all shitty everything's stupid and i'm smarter than everything lol dude

uh oh yeah the new sonic shit the new sonic design look at them they did a job they did they they fixed sonic's design uh in a movie starring was it james Marsden? It's definitely not John Marsden because he's in Red Dead Redemption, LOL. But I think James Marsden and Jim Carrey. Still not – I would have – I don't think I'm going to go see it. I wish they just made the whole movie a 3D movie and went back to the classic comics, you know, of Robotnik terrorizing a village of animals. And that's probably going to be like people are, it's going to happen at the end of this movie, but it did happen. I mean, like the whole movie is like animated and it would be so bright and flashy.

I mean, it's Sonic. Sorry, I'm talking about the Sonic design and how even though they changed it and it looks better, I still wish they made a fully animated Sonic movie. I know. I'm just moving the last thing. Oh, okay. Okay, so you're still working? Yeah. But yeah.

So Matt has, you know, I tried watching the Grinch animated movie. Didn't win me over. Then again, if today I was a kid and I decided to watch the Jim Carrey's Grinch, I don't think it would have the same. I think a lot of it has to do with nostalgia and me being a fool who lives mostly in the past. who lives mostly in the past and uh but but i like jim carrey's grinch because it's it's it's just not as in like a fucking cinematic masterpiece but of just what it is like just

you look at it and it's it's it's a movie it's a movie based on a Dr. Seuss thing, but we're still in that time where they didn't want to do like a 3D animated, I guess, or they didn't want to. They just wanted to stick to live action. I still have a little bit of not love, but not even respect, but just admiration for the fact that everyone working on the cat in the hat showed up every day on set on set and was just like, yep, this is good. Yep. This is what we're making. This is good. This looks good. They looked at the dailies. They were going, this is what Dr. Seuss had in mind for the cat in the hat.

And for that, I watch it and I'm every time I'm just like, wow. Yeah. 100%. I, you can just tell that everyone just had a ball. It looks like it was fun to make. Even in the,

even in the bloopers on the DVD. So you think like Dr. Seuss for children on the DVD bloopers, they have like bleeped out curse words and stuff. It was like, I'll get it right. I'll get it right. You know, that type of love to out curse words and stuff. It was like, fuck, I'll get it right. I'll get it right. You know, that type of shit.

I would have loved to have been there on that. I was just like, whoa. I was like, they're cursing. You have a thing on your eyebrow. Other one. It's huge. It's like a fuzzy. Did you get it?

Yeah, it's gone. Okay, got it. It looked like a large cotton. Oh, it probably was from my pants or something from the laundry. Yeah. Well, I did all my laundry, see? Yeah, I see it. It's a lot of it.

I had to fucking lay it all out because I haven't had clean laundry. This is going to make me sound like a disgusting human. It's been a while. I'll just say it. How about I just say that? How long has it been since you've had clean laundry? It's been a while. How long has it been since you've had clean laundry? It's been a while. How long has it been since you've had clean laundry, Matthew?

I honestly can't say. I can't put a number on it. Okay, can we just play hot or cold, and you can tell me if it feels right or not? I don't even really know. A month. Oh, oops. Higher or lower than a month?

I would say lower. I would say the last time I did laundry was about a month ago. When's the last time? Okay, at what point did laundry need to be done? How many weeks ago? Okay, that's a much better question. I would say. Sorry, I don't know how to make that.

I'm trying to get this to stop. Isn't there just a silent function on the watch? I don't know how to pull the fucking screen down. I would say, Ryan, let's see. I would say probably three weeks. Three weeks? So I've been. Just in dirty clothes not dirty clothes not dirty

why would you wear clothes once and just not wear it again does it really get that dirty well that's if i found a shirt and smelled good didn't have any stains or anything like i can wear it again sometimes i do that the problem is i don't have a dryer i know everyone everybody rewears pants multiple days in a row i promise good and the thing is i don't have a dryer i have a washer in my house but i don't have a dryer yet and um stop what is you have you have to how do i easily be able to silence you've had this thing for over a week is he texting i'm trying to texting you no he's sending things on instagram i'm trying to figure out how do i scroll to make the thing calm down fuck me man it's not a phone it's a what did you not like no earlier out how to work it earlier i had something that came down because if you're in a movie i can bet that's probably like in the theater i bet you that's

not fun for well i'm not gonna do that in a theater ryan you're not gonna bring the apple watch no i'm not i'd figure out how to have it silenced first there we go i pull up got it it's on silent mode okay beautiful um yeah dude what was i saying bought laundry yeah yeah i have it but three weeks so i had to make sure when i took them out i didn't like wrinkle them or anything i had a lot of clothes that were clean they were so wrinkled i was like fuck i can't wear that so i had to make sure i took those out nice and careful straight lay them all straight on each other so my shirts don't wrinkle and i get home They were just so wrinkled. I was like, fuck, I can't wear that. So I had to make sure I took those out nice and carefully. Lay them all straight on each other so my shirts don't wrinkle. When I get home, I'll take them home.

I'll hang them up. You'll be glad to know that I mispronounced something while you were gone. What did you mispronounce? I looked at trending because I was like, let's look at trending topics. And there was this one thing. I can't find it anymore. Hold on. Okay.

This. No, Kiermos. Malikos. Malikos. find it anymore hold on okay this no queremos uh malicos malicos i i went no queer most so you have that to listen to okay that'd be fun yeah fun at least i i let's learn spanish man no i want our goal to be by the end of 2020 we're doing this podcast entirely in spanish even though it's one of the easier languages to learn for for an american one of the most spoken languages on earth man we'd have a brand new audience easier to learn you think german or spanish oh i don't know for an american speaker probably german okay i don't know actually i've heard german can be really hard that's jackson he took that in uh college see i thought german was more on the easy side because it was like more linked to English. It is.

Like words are just what they are in English. Strogan Dassen. Jackson has a minor in German. Just like how like McDonald's in English is also McDonald's in Japanese. Yeah. And Chinese. Yeah. And Russian.

It's one of those words that just can go throughout any language like no no yeah everyone knows what you mean when you go no no but not yes even if someone yelled there's no yes because it's c yes um da da but no is very, no is universal, isn't it? Pretty much. What's no in Korean? I have no idea. Uh, it'll go to the translator. Wait, wait, wait. I think yes.

And Chinese is no, no, no. And Chinese no is boo. I think, well, they're idiots, but I think it's boo boo oh god well anyone that wants to have a fucking conversation with me has to say no i won't deal with anyone else so it's like a refugee coming up begging for help another language and you're like nope nope no no No. No. Nyet. Nyet. No in Russian. See, I feel like you just know what no is regardless. Yeah, if the Russian guy's nyet, you're like, oh, okay.

Stop. Like, it's very. It's like hard consonants. It's like, oh, okay. No. Like the tone, they say it and it's like. Sorry, I thought there was a little earthquake for a second. No, something out.

Someone's in our. I don't know who that would be a burglar probably you're ever scared of like while we're recording someone's just gonna jump through the window i would hope they would plan a little more and they're not just like well this is how i get break into houses just fucking booking it through a window sorry sorry and their goal is to do that and then if someone is home they keep like i i tripped i tripped like like tripped. I tripped. Like, like you're on this second story.

That's actually not a bad idea because think about this. I was climbing a tree. I was trying to pick some apples and I, and I tripped on one of the branches. No, seriously,

think about this. If you're in your house and you find someone secretly being quiet in your house hiding, then you know their burglary, their case sucks. Yeah.

It's like, what are you doing? Exactly. Is not uh stephanie's house exactly yeah people always try to be like oh sorry i thought this i see that all that's their go-to it's it's like if you get caught like on a ring it's like this isn't this isn't uh mark's house it's like it's like no it's not please leave are you because i thought mark lived here see like i'm friends with mark and then they try to like make the story bigger and it's like yeah yeah i just keep asking him questions but you just go what's mark like but basically he's a cool guy it's just like keep up like an hour straight yeah uh what hair color does he have while the police are on the way blonde what's his uh what what race is he uh um i the the white the white the

white the white one here's the problem all right because like if you were to blow through a window and be on the ground covered in glass then if someone ran in and be like i don't know what happened i fucking because no one's gonna be like i don't know what happened i fucking because no one's gonna be like oh he's breaking in like he actually that that was some kind of whoa what happened but if no a this just happened right as you were pulling in that's true one of those classic i didn't think of the cartoon character shay poles i didn't think about the that that option if someone comes home while you're burglarizing man burglars suck don't fucking do that yeah but they i think a lot of it has to do from supporting some type of drug habit

right yeah for money there's either that or just there's people that just like stealing really yeah uh kleptos kleptomaniacs. Kleptomaniac. They really called maniacs. Whoever came up with that was not happy with someone stealing their shit. Someone stole shit and was like, oh, I get to name this word. You're gonna be a maniac. You're a kleptomaniac.

You're a fucking maniac, dude. And it's like, dude, come on. That's not that crazy. It's like, well, that's too bad. Marie. Marie steals spoons. So what's the deal with kleptomaniacism? Is it like the thrill? Yeah. Of taking something?

It's like a little adrenaline rush, but one that you're also guilty for. So you're like addicted to it though, essentially. Yeah. I've never stolen anything from a store. It's like an itch that you want to scratch. That's how a lot of people describe a lot of when you think of like psychological crime. It's always like this itch that needs to be

scratched and blah, blah, blah. I gotta murder this woman because it's an itch that needs to be scratched. A psychopath. Yeah. Why? Have you ever stolen anything from a store before? No. I mean, I've taken stuff off the shelf uh on the clock at food lion like food like some pringles that's fine i'm talking about like have you ever

gone and shoplifted no i haven't either i'm too scared It's just I'd be really scared of getting caught. And then I'd be like, oh, no. Because for me at the time, I'm just like, I don't want to wait in line and pay for this because I could always like bring it out after and just ring it up. You know, but then later you just never be like, there's one time I was now. No, I think one time someone came in and threw all the trash away and I was like, oh, well, I guess I don't have to pay for that. I was going to pay for it. I mean, it's a massive corporation. One can of Pringles.

That's what that's what sent Food Lion under, dude. I don't know. I don't know if I want this in there because I actually still visit people at that Food Lion. Dude, no one's going to give a shit that you had a can of Pringles at Food Lion like six years ago. Are you sure? Dude, who's going to's gonna be like oh the fuck that's why we went under that can of Pringles that's $2.40

from 2013 god damn it Ryan you piece of shit you're never allowed back in here I'm calling the police sour cream and onion Pringles it was a good it was a good,

it was a good taste. I took some, I did take some stuff from Chick-fil-A. What did you take? I had some cookies. I feel like if you're making the food,

then it's like not, does it, does it feel so much as stealing? When I worked at Chick-fil-A. Because I'm not stealing from Foodline, I'm stealing from Pringles.

Well. Pringles is never going to want us to be sponsored. No, they, they, the opposite. They're like, we us to be sponsored. No, they the opposite. They're like, we were so irresistible that he stole them. That's good.

Me admitting to theft. How? I mean, that's a crime. There's a I mean, when I worked at Chick-fil-A in high school, occasionally what I what I pocket a cookie at the end of the night or grab a few chicken nuggets that were getting thrown out because the food usually would get thrown out if there was extra. So it's like, you know, I'm hungry. It ain't hurting the multi-billion dollar corporation if I snag a few chicken nuggets instead of them going to rot in the trash. Instead, they can give me nutrients, one of the employees of the company.

So it's helping the company altogether because I'm getting nutrients so I'm stronger, so I can keep working. See, I rationalize that one really well. Is there really like a law in place where like if you steal something after one to two years, it's like, well, I guess it's yours. What's that called? Well, that's when people go into the other people. Oh, squatting rights. That's squatting rights. Dude, I'm going to start living in your house. Those videos piss me off, dude. I hate those videos. Yeah. So what is it basically?

If you can live somewhere. People will go on vacation and come home and another family is like moved into their home and they have to go through like legal proceedings to get them out. Because they're like, oh, well, we were here so long that legally we can. What? What's so stupid? So. So technically. I could.

If I secretly like lived in your rat rap it's not in every state but let's say if we had one that had the squatters right shit if i were to live in your house for like two years without you knowing like see you have to be without me there oh because then i still have the right i was about to say like if someone could just it's all about dibs like mine now it's like one of those things. That's dumb, though. But what if you own the house? What if, like, you paid for and owned the house? Do we have to fight that out in court?

That's stupid as fuck, dude. I don't know. I don't know that much about it. I just know that whenever I see videos, it pisses me off. That's crazy, dude. You know what else is crazy? Bananas? Ad reads.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Matthew Watson. Oh. Yeah? me off that's crazy dude you know what else is crazy bananas ad reads oh yeah yeah matthew watson oh yeah what you spend a third of your life in sheets don't you want them to be insanely comfortable i absolutely do want them to be comfortable because making your home beautiful is the ultimate form of self-care in this holiday, maybe it's time to gift the ones you love or yourself with something a little cozier, like bedding, loungewear, towels, and more. And lucky for all of you listening, Brooklinen is delivering comfort all season long. Home of the internet's favorite sheets, Brooklinen's got over 50,000 five-star reviews and counting. Half a million happy sleepers and counting. That's a lot of sleepers, y'all. Happy sleepers.

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To give a good atteries. Ryan, I have. Sorry. Stop. I have Brooklinen sheets on my bed. Really? And I have their comforter. Duvet.

Stop. I have their duvet cover. Duvet? I have the duvet cover. I really actually I use Brooklyn and sheets and their duvet cover and the pillowcase. And I fucking love it. Am I allowed to swear on this? No.

You got to bleep it out. I'll bleep it out. in their pillowcase and I f***ing love it. Am I allowed to swear on this? No. You gotta bleep it out. I'll bleep it out. But when Bill stayed with me recently, I gave him my Brooklyn and Sheetz

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Brooke Lennon. Everything you need to live your most comfortable life. Or check it out in the description. Yeah, nice. We got one more hot hot hot sponsorship coming your way this episode is also brought to you by stance they make those comfy comfy socks you guys like to put on your feet or your hands if you're feeling that they're the the brand you know matt that that changed the game when it comes to socks that's right ryan the brand's creativity

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Sorry, yeah, yeah. I thought we were both going to go stance. Yeah. It's fine. No, it's my fault. If you're one of the millions of people who've fallen in love with stance, you already know why the sock world and your feet haven't been the same since. The designs are incredible. They're insanely comfortable and their durability is unmatched

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super mega. Because if they're not Stance, they're just socks. Aww. The boy's throwing a fart sound at the end of the ad read? We don't appreciate that, and we're going to take them to court. Because no one messes with us. Mr. McGee, how do you plead to count one? Guilty, I did it.

But it was funny, wasn't it, Judge? It was pretty fun. Oh, no! He goes to jail, too. i keep slapping my head because it itches and i don't want to itch it why not because i don't want to flake up yeah i don't want to irritate my scalp so i'm just trying to oh that's pretty nice the thing my scalp is just very dry right now since shaving my head yeah incredibly dry i've been i thought you have that new shit i do i've been putting oil in i just gotta i got to use a little bit more. I get a very dry scalp.

Okay. I need me some head, shoulders, knees, and toes. How about some head, shoulders, knees, and hoes? How about just some head? And hoes. Some head from hoes. Head from bros. How about some head from bros?

Yeah. Fuck, man. How you doing? You serious i mean if you're down i'm kidding we can't put this in the podcast though right well we'll end it but like if you're still yeah i'll try okay yeah fuck