supermegashow - EP 185 - Corona Lockdown

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

We discuss how the Corona virus might impact us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on everything from the money line to over-unders to which player will net the first goal. Make your picks and assemble a same-game parlay with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP. Plus, with FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway.

Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Hey, y'all. Hey. How's it going? It's going. Yeah? No music this time, Matt. or visit connectsontario.ca I put in. What noise? What do you think? A fart sound. Yeah. Yeah, you put a fart sound. Is that what you were thinking of in your head? Yeah. Yeah, I knew it. I know you so well.

The classic fart sound. The one that I did at the end of my Igor review. That's a classic fart sound. It's the best fart sound. That's the problem with movies, man. They never get fart sounds right. That's what makes them funny I think in movies is that they're so comically not real. Because if you hear a real fart, sometimes it's just like,

that's just going to smell like, like a dry fart. Yeah. Just an airy puff, you know, it's like, now you, you,

you have the talent though. Yours don't sound like that. Yours, yours, yours do sound like the fake ones in the movies. Good. I know. It's so good.

It makes them all funny, right? I'm not going to lie. What? Maybe this is morbid, but I think that if you passed away, I think that something that I would just randomly think about would be how fucking hilarious and cinematic your farts were. And I would just be like, he had the best fart. I would hear a funny fart in a movie and just be like,

well, I hope you know that's what I, that's what I've been throughout my whole life as a kid. You know, you think about what you're going to be remembered as, as an adult. And I'm glad that at the age of 25, I'll be remembered for my farts, my man. Well, you'll be remembered for a lot more, but like specifically with me, you'll be remembered for that. Hey, man well you'll be remembered for a lot more but like specifically with me you'll be remembered for that hey look not i mean how many people are going to be remembered

for their farts in a positive way not not many not jackson you'll remember it because for a very negative connotation i would be glad he's gone you know specifically because you don't have to smell his wretched farts anymore wretched is is a great word to describe. It's horrible. It's not even. We've talked about this on the channel at length. Jackson's farts are not. They're in a different category. It's not even funny.

It's putrid. It's just death. Speaking of putrid death, how's the quarantining going? Are you asking me? Yeah. Or just the general audience? You're self-quar yourself quarantining myself well i can't get an answer from them i can't speak directly to the audience i can that's not i am speaking directly to the audience but this is not like it's not in real time i got an oracle we can look into and

speak into the future and speak to the audience okay um self-quarantining well besides harrison using all the toilet paper for his big fat ass. I think that's the problem is his ass is just so fucking, he's so stacked back there. He's got to use so much toilet paper. Don't y'all have bidets? Yes. How is he using so much toilet paper if you have bidets? I don't know.

I don't know. I'm going to have to sit him down and be like, listen, man, we're going to ration toilet paper because I am, we are very close to running out of toilet paper. How many rolls do you have? So I don't know how many Jackson has because Jackson has his own bathroom. So that's out of the picture. But the bathroom that me, Harrison, and Carson share, I'd say maybe one and a half right now. One and a half roles, which will last us not even through the week.

I'd share because I don't have that many rolls But like I know like With the amount of rolls I have I could last like over a month Easy This sounds Because I only have three I have three rolls After this last one in my bathroom

Is nixed But you You know you use your bidet So like I'm using the bidet more Oh I blast my ass Yeah I blast my ass So there's no shit And then I just barely have to wipe

Just basically just dry off my asshole Yeah When I wipe It's just to dab away the water on my asshole because the water really does 99 residual poo you know yeah there's some leftover poo in there yeah but but that all you really need is one square i think what i'm gonna do is this i think i'm gonna i'm gonna try to find some some way to get toilet paper and hide someone in my bed that's probably the case because the the tucker brothers are known specifically

jackson and harrison are known for their for their like their their inf their their infamous for their for their shits they shit a lot all no all three of them it's not okay all three it's all three of them yeah so not only are their shits like they're usually not solid they're like magma and we can be pushing sometimes five six a day from one of them we're talking i remember harrison spent almost half an hour in our in our in our in the restroom at the office one time yeah dude they shit like crazy i could have sworn one time he was in the restroom and like almost an hour was had gone by and i was like he came out and i was like oh yeah harrison's here wait didn't he go to the restroom like an hour ago? Yeah, dude. He

takes crazy shits, man. The bathroom's like a safe space. But I'm gonna, in terms of self-quarantining, I haven't really been doing anything except for staying at home and then coming to the Super Megaplex to do work. So I don't know how much longer we're even gonna be able to do that. Traffic's wonderful

coming to the Super Megaplex. Oh, it's beautiful. No traffic in LA. No traffic in LA, dude. I never thought I'd see the day when there's no traffic in LA. I saw a video yesterday on Twitter. That was...

I always got to get you with that one. Dude, you got me, man. It was a helicopter, a traffic helicopter filming the freeway at 5 p.m and cars just flying no traffic whatsoever and it was like this is los angeles rush hour i know we're happy though but that isn't that just people that are good or losing their jobs because of this a lot of people are losing jobs i saw unemployment could go up to 20%. And let me also reiterate real quick. We are recording this the... Okay, yeah. What's today's date?

The 18th. The 18th. The 18th at 2.21pm. Yes. So, just like with last week's episode, so much changed from the time we recorded it to the time it dropped. This isn't coming out for over a week, this podcast. A week from today, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, literally a week from today.

So, we're one week behind, and you know how fast things are moving the coronavirus changed so fucking much just from the time that we did the last one to the time it dropped so i don't even by the time this drops we could be fully on lockdown where we can't even meet up at the super megaplex i mean we weren't really testing people because the u.s has still has a lot of problems with testing facilities they're trying to get better. But, I mean, like just today it was reported that, what, New York confirms, like, how many new cases? Over, like, a thousand-something new cases?

The city itself or something? Jesus Christ. Well, it's the state, but, I mean, come on. Damn, that's insane. Overnight, over a thousand new cases. But those are cases that have already existed. So you have to keep in mind, it's going to be exponential. And those people walking around spreading it.

Yeah. I mean, when you got to think the reason there's not a lot of like kind of there's a lot of fear mongering and stuff right now, of course. And one thing that I've been seeing is like, well, I don't see it. I don't I don't know anybody who's really sick. Like, yeah, that's because we haven't been testing people. Wait for the test to come in. Just like New York's testing more people now. So you see a huge rise.

These aren't like new cases that these people weren't just infected today. These are people who have been infected. The number is going to rise because we haven't been testing. And when you test, we're going to get confirmation of who is infected. That's just how it goes. And the thing is also, what's the infection rate? Like three point something. So it's like every person is going to infect an on average like three people or something like that.

Is it three? I think it's three point something. Isn't the flu one for one? This is a higher infection rate from the flu. And that's the thing is my dad's always like, well, Matthew, you know, I think everyone's blowing this out of proportion. I'm like, it's a pandemic.

Like, yes, of course the media is always going to- We're trying to save our population who is above the age of 60 and those who also deal with things like lung cancer, type one diabetes. I don't get it. Cause it's like dad- A lot of health concerns.

If my grandpa gets this, he will die 100%. It's like, I think a lot of people's grandparents would die. Okay, boomer. It's just, I don't understand the, so many people that are so like against believing the coronavirus or, it's a lot of the same people that are that way with climate change. It's like, oh, coronavirus, I'm not going to buy into all this panic. It's like, it's a lot of the same people that are that way with climate change it's like oh coronavirus is i'm not gonna buy into all this panic it's like it's a real pandemic dude because there are people who are like um what about people that are immunocompromised yes but there are

people who are over exaggerating the situation oh for sure 100 which leads to higher panic i think the the problem is that while people are panic buying, like when they're panic buying, it's not like we're not running out of toilet paper in the United States. We're not running out of water. Like people are buying water, but that's the dumbest one for me.

When they go to buy water bottles, like the water supply is not going to go away. We're still going to have water. Like you don't need to hoard water bottles. Put the water bottles in the freezer so they last longer. Like I'm just going to start freezing gallons of water. We got to save the water, freeze it so it stays healthy.

Worst case scenario, you just have to boil tap water if the water were to get bad, right? Yeah. But I don't think the water would get bad. The water won't be affected. I can understand going out and buying a bunch of like bread and canned foods though. But like toilet paper, it's like how many rolls does like the average household go through? Let's say a week. Like for you, let's say.

How many would you say you go through? I'm an outlier in this situation. But this is good. This is like worst case scenario. How much does your – like we're thinking of, let's think of worst case scenario household. This is a household of three or four grown men who take evil shits every day, multiple times.

Four or five, maybe four or five rolls a day. Not a day, a week, a week, four to five rolls a week. I probably, yeah.

So think about, I am genuinely worried because we have very little toilet paper left I'm like what are we going to do once we don't have it hey this is the rise of the bidets baby it is the rise of the bidets us bidet boys are just walking around going toilet paper what are you talking about my asshole is squeaky clean baby

there are people now going over like with dirty assholes because they're running out of toilet paper we have clean ass and they're not running out of toilet paper stop bulk buying this shit man save it for people that actually really need it a lot more like you can buy toilet paper but you just don't need to you could stock up but you don't need to stock up like i see the pictures of the people with the shopping carts of like like five uh 24 packs and it's like fuck you dude just stock up twice as much that's it just stock up twice as much that's it just stock up twice as much i feel like that that's a fine number just get just you know you

usually get one pack and then you're like oh this will last us the the next two weeks just get another one that's what i would say i'd say get get two squares fold it i'm looking at one shut the fuck up man well i'm looking at a dirty asshole right now fold it no you're not it's clean you probably do have a very clean asshole yeah I blast water up there you don't just blast it don't you like keep the water in

like don't you like kind of let the water sit inside your asshole for a minute and then release it yeah it's called douching dude I'm cleaning my asshole to the extreme cause you're a douche I also just like the way it feels if you have any gas that you can't get out you can do it and it like you're giving so you're essentially doing like kind of like a like an enema yeah and it was probably not good

because i'm using i'm putting that water up my asshole so it's that could probably be infected because your ass does absorb that type of shit well that's what i i've always wondered like how does your how do you not get sick from shit you know because if your ass can absorb things so easily it's like it's just somehow just not how are our veins not filled with shit exactly well if we were smarter went to school more i'm sure we'd figure we'd know scientists in the commons uh go on wik Commons. And give us the answer to that one. Why don't we bleed shit, scientists? Yeah.

Why no poo-poo in my veins? Yeah. I did an enema once. An enema? An enema. Enema. I did an enema once. Zack and Cody in the commercials.

Whoa. I did an enema once, and I don't know why, but it hurt. After I put the water up my bum bum, it hurt so fucking bad. Why? I think it's when I, it was the peak of the enema. Oh, yeah. And I'm guessing that's what it was, but it felt like there was fire inside of my bowels. And I let it free in the toilet, and was still i was in so much pain it much my

abdomen just felt like i got punched so either i did something really wrong or uh it was just a you know how females feel with those with those cramps i know well that's the thing i i'd like to think of myself as a true female ally now because you know how you like when i went through the colon thing you and i have both experienced some sort of abdominal pain equal to that of what women feel every month when it comes to youtubers i think we're at the top of the list of of allies with with women because think about this you know how when some women get pregnant they'll make their their husbands do the the whole thing with them so they can like like oh you, you have to eat this diet with me. Like you don't know what this pain's like. Guess what?

Yeah. I picture a guy wearing a sweater and he's balding and he wears glasses. Talking about me? What? Are you wearing a sweater? No. Oh no, I'm not wearing a sweater.

But dude, the thing is like a knitted sweater. Like I picture the character. Have you seen the other guys? Yeah. Do you know what guy I'm talking about? The guy who has the character, have you seen the other guys? Yeah Do you know what guy I'm talking about? The guy who has the hot wife That's like, please fuck my wife

That's who I picture, who gets the baby bumps and shit I gotta be pregnant with my wife That's the thing, we don't have to do that Because we've gone through the pain, bro I went through a week of the most excruciating pain in my life In my asshole And I had to do the same thing that women that women that give birth have to do the, the,

the sits baths where they have to do the special baths. And I just sit on the little donut pillow. I thought you just said cyst bath. I was like, what? I take a bath in a bunch of cysts. No, a bunch of,

it was a sits bath. It's where you have to like, I had to sit in the bath a certain way and put Epsom salt in the water and do it like four times a day. Really sucked. But I've done all the things that women have to do after they give birth so you know how it is future wife guess what uh i don't want to hear you complain about pregnancy one bit because i've had surgery on my asshole so

we're allies here at super mega allies to women to to men to animals to everyone now I'm not calling people who don't define themselves as male or female animals I'm saying that we're also like we're a fan of like dogs and cats and like everything

well everyone's an animal technically so by saying we're allies with animals we're allies with everyone everyone everything I'm allies with animals. We're allies with everyone. You know, everyone, everything. I'm allies with trees. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well.

I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process.

Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. We've had apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder of cheese and play a fish show, please. Make grittas and McMuffin and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, hash brown, hotcakes.

Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm an ally. I love trees. Plants, dude. Trees are fucking awesome. Trees are big. They're fucking sick, dude.

They're huge. Some of them. Some of them are small. Some of them are fake like that one. The one sitting right next to me. Yeah. Fake fuck. Fake ass fake ass stupid ass fake ass bitch looking like oh come on he doesn't even work hard to achieve that shit he just got put together in a factory from a fucking factory yeah do you know what type of tree he would be though if he were real nope starts with an F. A fern. A ficus. A philanthropist.

Not a philanthropist. That's a type of plant. It's not a type of plant. How would you know? You don't know plants. I know a lot about plants, dude. I have quite the knowledge of plants. Fica.

It's three letters. See, I said ficus, but then I made it fica. It's three letters. The first one's F. The last one's G. Fig. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Right when I said that, I was like, oh, hoping that's not going the other direction. Fig Newton. Hey, can I get a Newton?

Yeah. Wait, what? Fig Newton? I've been saying it wrong this whole time. I'm sorry. There were no ill intentions. I just misheard it as as a child i always thought that's what they were like seriously my husband can

vouch for me we both say oh damn oh dude fucking what are we gonna do about this coronavirus man oh nothing you we can do what are we gonna do now and I. Apparently, if you and I go to a trip to hell, we can play Satan in a rock off and win the cure to the coronavirus. Why don't we make that movie right now? Shoot it in a day where it's like, oh, no. And we have to go down to hell, battle Satan. In a rock off. But he's played by a. What? You know what I'm talking uh, what are we talking about?

What is that? What do you guy, the guy, the guy, the guy that does that song? Who does that song? That went down to Georgia. He was looking for a shoulder show to stay. Sorry. The Clintons went down to Georgia. They were looking for some votes to steal. That's a, that's a video on YouTube.

Jax and I have a big playlist of Clinton songs where people do parodies of the Clintons, but as songs. So the Clintons went down to Georgia is a good one. They were looking for some votes to steal. I don't need no office blowjob. They're bad. It's always some guy with a mediocre impression. There's bimbo number five instead of... Need no office blow job. They're bad. They're bad.

It's always some guy with a mediocre impression. There's, there's bimbo number five instead of, uh. From the day I was blown. Da da da da da. You know, that, that, that type of stuff. The blues. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Bimbo number five goes, my name is Bill and I'm a sexaholic. And then the song starts, it goes one, two, three, four, five. Oh yeah. Everybody come along. Let's go have sex. And then a little bit of Monica. Jackson, you were playing those pretty loud in the office when we were moving in. Oh, yeah.

I put them over the speakers. Absolutely. That's good shit. What is some other one? Oh, there's get sticky with it. Get sticky with it. There's a really. Do you think Bill Clinton's fornicated with an underage girl

probably well there's a lot of rumors you know do I have any concrete why don't you go tell him you think that's wrong I don't have access to Bill Clinton how do you know do you think no matter how hard I tried if I really tried as hard as I possibly could

I could talk to Bill Clinton? Hillary Clinton went on The Breakfast Club. Well, she went on The Breakfast Club for a certain reason. That is true. Because she wanted to show off her hot sauce. Now, you know, people are going to say you're pandering to the black voters. Is it working? Oh, my God.

What a response. Is it working? It's a go. Jesus. Oh, man. Yeah What a response. Is it working? It's a gun. Jesus. Oh, man. Yeah, Bill. Dude. You know how I love the hot sauce on the collard greens?

You know, they say the top 1% of true blacks love their hot sauce. Bernie, cool it down. What? I also like enchiladas. I could see Biden going on the breakfast club and being like, Back in my day, there was this guy named Corn Pop, dark fella, loved hot sauce. All the little black kids would love come play with my leg hair. They loved it.

I forgot he said that. Oh, man. Did he, dude? Corn Pop was in a fight. I had a chain around my wrist. And I said, I'm going to take you out back and pull some jankum stankum on you, Corn Pop. Dude, fuck it. The Corn Pop.

Sorry. He's senile, dude. It's a funny name. It's so funny. So you know how Joe Biden said he will commit to picking a woman as his vice president? What if he picked Hillary Clinton? He wouldn't. What if he did, though?

He wouldn't. He's going to choose Michelle Obama, JK. He's going to choose Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris. But Kamala Harris. Think so? 100%. Who else do you think he's going to take?

Warren? No. Probably, is it Kamala? Kamala. I'm going to say Kamala because it sounds like camel and I like that. Okay. It's racist. You mean the person who dropped out right at the beginning of the race? Yeah. Because they were doing so poorly?

Yeah, but like, I'm not trying to say anything, but she looks good on his ballot. Absolutely. Well, Biden-Harris. hey at least never mind i can't say it's not gonna be biden clinton i can tell you that dude biden clinton would be hysterical by hey he said he would get a republic maybe he gets a republican what if it's biden palin what if he shoots himself in the foot? Biden. I mean, he's already shot himself in the foot. Democratic.

I don't know. You know, fast forward to when there's a me. Picture this. Me saying this. Yeah, Biden. Biden's not going to win. I mean, the Democrats are being stupid. Fast forward to the end of the election.

This song plays with a bunch of like thumbs up buying buying 2020 memes. That's what people did with Trump. Well, I got a lot of boomers in my responses to a lot of verified boomers because I tweeted about Joe Biden and all of a sudden all the checkmark boomers came out where one of them just responded to me with a picture of joe biden wearing sunglasses and it just said deal with it yep yep yep oh i love it dude i don't get these i don't get these boomers obsession with like joe biden wearing sunglasses have you seen the one creepy one where he's like smile is huge i actually like the way someone edited that one because it looks creepy it looks like a like a jeff the killer type image except with joe biden dude don't talk about it.

Have you seen that picture? The one that I'm talking about? I have. Yeah, yeah. Because. One where his eyes are really small. Yeah. Because people like, they got this obsession with Joe Biden wearing sunglasses.

Like, oh yeah, well, here's a picture of Joe Biden wearing fucking sunglasses. He's just trolling. Dude, they got me. They got me pretty good. It's one of those things where you, I don't know. Trolling has its place in video games like Call of Duty and Fortnite, but in politics, it usually isn't great

to gaslight a nation. My favorite thing is this dude who responded to my tweet with the Biden deal with it. Like, I looked at his bio. He's like someone in the Democratic Party, like an official, responding to a YouTuber's tweet with a picture of Joe Biden with sunglasses

with meme text saying, deal with it. And I i'm like i do the responses were so fucking funny though joe biden is gonna be the nominee more than likely let's see trump's definitely gonna be the oh which hey what's the deal with voting during a quarantine yeah what's the deal with voting during a quarantine? Yeah. What's the deal with that? Are they going to have to postpone the election? What's up with that? Well, they postponed, like, some of the primaries, but then some of the states were like,

go vote, go vote, go vote. I mean, presidential election. Oh, like, would they postpone the actual? If they're talking about this shit going until August, the election's in November. That's true. That's true. Yeah, they postponed that means

campaigning happens hardcore in the latter half of the year yeah because we're pretty close to getting down to the wire where it's trump versus nominee and you can't have your trump rallies or your campaign like little whatever the fuck you want campaign rallies if if there's a quarantine going this is interesting the way it's it's that's a huge gathering of people you don't want it is and it's interesting the timing of of like how this is affecting the election you know because it's definitely affecting the election i can't see them postponing the actual election though what would they do you can't have americans going out and voting if there's like oh that's a that's a good point but that that that would be if if it was still this bad they'd have to create a very

i don't know online shit can't trust that you can't really trust any voting method it's just all fucked oops i won again whoopsies i didn't even mean to that time i just did it by accident so at this point though do you think trump will win again yeah i think so too honestly i think trump is probably gonna democratic party still just doesn't have their shit together not to say that the republican party does but at least the republican party as of now is standing behind you know trump but during this crisis there is there is this could change everything yeah there's a president wants stability or crisis to help out this is not the right crisis he needs he he i think you know as a president

you want war time right you want you want you want little people together you you don't want this fucking virus that's just gonna make you like point out the the harsh realities of uh our health care system and the way we have uh our just how unprepared we are just our just how we're economically not set up for this i guess no country is no one's really set up for a crisis like this i mean look at then again there are countries who have dealt with this a lot better well that's the thing is like no is anyone truly prepared for a pandemic like country? No. But I think there's no excuse that America should be this ill prepared. Should have a leader that said there are seven, about seven cases and will be down to zero in about a week. And now there are over 2000 confirmed cases in the United States in less than three weeks after saying that.

Yeah. And not only been less than three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like until it really blew up. I remember it was just over. It was just one day.

One random day. It was like, oh, yeah. Until it really blew up. I remember it was just over. It was just one random day. It was like, uh-oh. That's because a lot of tests went. And I think that not only just on Trump, but I think like just how we're so ill-prepared and as touted as like one of the,

like, if we're being touted as having the best healthcare in the world, which is what Trump says, and touted as being the most prepared out of any country it's like that's statistically not true

there's other countries that have it really bad but they're doing a really really good job with how they're handling it and I think that we're going to get fucked so bad by this and you can't say hey we're doing better than Italy Italy is not the dream team of who you should be looking at of how you handle.

Italy is not claiming to be like one of the Italy's not one of the top power. Italy did the wrong thing. Italy is an example of what could happen here if we act as they did. No one's saying like you can point to other countries who handle it worse. But like the thing is, we we had a warning. I also think for being such a powerful country in the world that has so much money and so many resources, we should be doing a lot better right now with this. Like, there's just no excuse for us to be this ill-prepared. Canada and U.S. talking about closing down all borders, baby.

They did this morning. They officially closed the borders. They did, except for centrals, I think, or officials or something like that. I woke up to a notification that was saying that they're closing all the Canadian borders. Dan, but yeah. I mean, sorry we're talking about this so much. I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing about politics

and coronavirus, but it's a big deal right now. Okay, I'm a little, I got a little emotional last night because I'm not going to give too many specifics, but there are people in my family who uh this isn't hitting them well uh financially uh in terms of their the job that they have to sustain a household um you know they if you work uh let's say retail restaurants hotel industry you know the the what is it called? There's like a,

it's the something service. It's when you're serving others, not just customer service, but I guess when you're dealing with hospitality, like the hospitality services, there's a lot of people, you're not this like huge, smart fucking person that knows more than the CDC. You know, you don't know more than the scientists working on this disease and trying to warn the public. You going out and doing your spring break bullshit. Whoever does that. You who are going out and just saying, this is no big deal. I'm going to go out.

It's not the apocalypse. I'm young. The problem is that you are elongating the problem, which fucks up the economy, which then makes people lose jobs. And it's just we want to. You've heard this many times, and I know people roll their eyes because they've heard it. But I'm sorry. It's true. We need to fucking flatten the goddamn curve before like we

really overload our health care system and then we're economically in the slumps longer than we need to yeah and i saw today what did the uh inspector not the inspector general the health inspector what you know i'm talking about uh the health the general surgeon general is that what it is yeah said that it's gonna be like it was like two weeks of quarantine is not gonna be enough yeah so um what what i'm what i'm just bracing for right now is and i'm sure maybe it's already happened by the time this podcast comes out be responsible be responsible because that's the thing is even if you're not worried about getting it don't be a spreader because like we haven't gone out we live in la that we've like i we were invited to a party even like less than a week ago.

We decided not to go. It's like I don't want to. But you guys are traveling. You guys are going out of your house. Yeah. We're leave. I'm going from my from my car to an office of only two other people. Yeah.

This is a very small like I think if we have to like be on a mandatory quarantine, we as a business and we as people will take the necessary cautions. Right now, they haven't put that full – what's it called? Shelter in place lockdown, which the Bay Area just did. Did New York do it? They've been doing it for a few days. Yeah. They're doing it until like April 7th. Yeah.

So I'm only assuming Los Angeles is going to do that soon. they're doing it to like april 7th yeah so i'm only assuming los angeles is gonna do that soon so uh who knows we might have to start doing the podcast from over discord for a while uh but we're trying to backlog right now trying to get stuff uh done and handled uh so that we hopefully won't be dry during this if anything bigger happens and um granted like we are not being affected as much as you know like service workers are uh but if we we're a little concerned there could be a point where we can't even like meet up to record games and shit but we're gonna try to find workarounds like if we are quarantined we'll maybe do some streams well it's easy for us because of the job that we have we have it easy compared to a lot of people. I have a friend who she just got promoted to full-time,

and she's like, I'm finally making enough money to pay rent easily and stuff. And now all of a sudden she's bumped down to two days a week pay and two days a week of work from home. But because she works in the casting industry, nothing's happening. So she's like not making any money right now. And I saw unemployment could go up to like 20%,

which that's like, people are freaking out about unemployment when it's at like 4%. 20% is huge. Well, that's, it's a lot of jobs.

Think about, it's going to wreck the service industry. Come on, restaurants. Come on, how often do you eat, huh?

As long as Brent's safe huh as long as Brent's safe as long as God these last few podcasts are gonna be nothing about being quarantined in the coronavirus and new updates of it I'm sorry but that's just it's it's the it's the time capsule that we are in right now yeah because looking back we'll be like oh these are the podcasts when the coronavirus was going on ooh right now it's what we're doing and it sounds probably some to some of you very very vanilla because it might sound like we're talking about the same thing over and over. But how about this, ladies and gentlemen? I threw in another fun sound effect for him.

So he's livening it up. You watch that Glenn Beck video where he's like – The what video? The Glenn Beck video where he's trying to like give that real stern. I hate Glenn Beck. Yeah, but have you seen the video where he's giving like the stern speech on like punishing your children? He's like, push them. Punish them.

Push them. Yell at them. Show them who's boss. It's a very famous classic clip. It's very funny. I hate Glenn Beck so much. Dude, lay off the man. In middle school, I knew this one kid that was obsessed with beck and like went to one of his book signings and

brought the book to school and like carried it around because he had it signed by glenn beck what were they going to do if he came out shoot him i don't know what this tweet is for glenn beck tweeted this i thought glenn beck doesn't do shit anymore shoot him represent representative thomas massey says a sheriff was posted outside a Kentucky man's home because he tested positive for COVID-19 if they can do this in Kentucky what are we in for as a country

did Glenn Beck have a big switch didn't he like switch over sides or something did he I thought Glenn Beck had a big like oh I'm not a Republican anymore or something. Did he? I thought Glenn Beck had a big, uh, like, Oh, I'm not a Republican anymore or something like that.

I remember. Yeah. Another one of his tweets, uh, while we're all self quarantining, how many left wing policies are being pushed through as solutions? Okay. Nevermind.

I take that back. Obviously that did not happen. That actually is worrying. Like what kind of policies and things in laws are going to get pushed through while everyone's distracted. Because it's a perfect time for them to throw shit into bills because no one's paying attention. You know? Even during a pandemic, Trump has given no grace. I fully redact what I said about him.

Didn't he change? No. Push them. Yell at them. Show them who he change? No. Push them. Yell at them. Show them who's boss. Yeah. Fuck them! All the producers in the studio were just like, Glenn? Cut, cut, cut!

The dump. Dude, that was the best advice I'd ever heard. Thank you, Clint, thank you. I had to turn it off because we had to save the American people. This advice is too good for common knowledge. We have to protect this advice for us. I, I, I, I, I, um, um. Are a stuttering baboon who's a

buffoon in the loon? Me ben? Tobias, I could have put the piece of the end together. I was like, loon-ee-ben. Oh, loony ben. By the way, I figured out what that thing was in the Animal Crossing episode that I was thinking of something wagon.

Patty wagon. Patty wagon, yeah. But Jerry wagon does sound like a real thing. Yeah, it does. It really does sound like a real fucking thing. For those who don't know, in the Animal Crossing episode, I was trying to think of like, there's something like a police I was looking up cop car wagon slang and it didn't come up. I was looking up a Jerry, hold on, cop

car wagon slang. Dude, I swear up I was looking up Jerry hold on cop car dude I swear Jerry Jerry wagon still a thing if it's the first thing that comes up I swear to God I was looking at it yeah there was like panda car panda car meat wagon white girl speed screen I

want to see my meat wagon wait what white girl speed screen what is that white girl speed screen? What is that? White girl speed screen? What? SPF 100. Pigasaurus Rex? What is this? Wow, Pigasaurus Rex! Urban Thesaurus dot, yeah, okay, fuck off.

Urban Thesaurus. Yeah, that sounds good. That's like a shittier version of Urban Dictionary. Well, Urban Dictionary's not the funniest website in general. Is it a comical website? Well, I guess. Or is it a site that boomers go to to look up like raffle? Yeah, it's that.

There's just like I remember Urban Dictionary was the funniest shit back in like middle school. You go on Urban Dictionary. You look up these weird words and it's like. The sound it makes when you poop in a bathroom at the school and it echoes. It's like... I mean, there's like some sample sentence. Yeah. You ever like search your own name on Urban Dictionary?

My like full name? No, just... Oh, yeah, like names, meanings, except in this, it's like sarcastic and shit. Wait, is Super Mega on Urban Dictionary? You know, we have a Know Your Meme page. Do you know that? Do we? We have a Know Your Meme page. Do you know that? Do we?

We have a Know Your... It's very outdated. It hasn't been updated in a while. Here, let me look up... Oh, here we go. Today's word is beer bug. Coronavirus, a disease originating in China which shares the same name as a shitty Mexican beer.

Chad caught the beer bug, so has to self-isolate for 14 days at home. I'm going to look up Super mega on Urban Dictionary. Super mega. Here we go. A gay married couple who play video games on YouTube. If you're under the age of 12, make sure to check them out. They're family friendly to the max.

The sentence, the example sentence is super mega isn't straight. Don't worry, that's not, I don't think it is. I think it's just my smoker's cough. Here we go. Oh, there's several, there's several definitions of super mega on Urban Dictionary. Okay, let's hear them. Here's the second one. Two funny YouTube men who do

let's plays, live action videos, songs, podcasts, and more. Also proudly sponsored by the most comfortable underwear around meundies.com. Okay. Let's see if there's any, that looks podcasts, and more. Also proudly sponsored by the most comfortable underwear around MeUndies.com. Let's see if there's any... That looks like that's it. The first definition was posted on my 23rd birthday. Or

22nd birthday, actually. A gay married couple who play video games on YouTube. If you're under the age of 12, make sure to check them out. They're family friendly to the max that's pretty mean I'm actually scared to type and search my own name on

Urban Dictionary right now what does this mean a floating hospital ship with 1000 beds US comfort will be dispatched to NYC by US government they're gonna put a bunch of people on a big boat? What? No way. I guess like a big

floating hospital. Really? Keep them offshore. They're just gonna put it in the harbors like okay everyone's going on this big old boat. That's cool. Um. Maybe not that. I don't know. But it's I'm just in my head I'm thinking of something that looks pretty fucking cool.

Carnival Cruise ship? That's pretty much what cruises are anyway right now. Here. I looked up my name on Urban Dictionary. Matt Watson. He's a twink. The sentence, using the sentence, whoa, is that Matt Watson of Super Mega? Ryan, I'm going to look you up on Urban Dictionary if that's cool.

Okay. Ryan McGee. Probably nothing. Oh, really? That's not what I see right here. What do you see? Oh, you got a big one, dude. You have several definitions. Oh, really?

One of the two funny boys from a relatively small channel known as Super Meg... Thank you. The second failure of the duo is known as Matt Watson small channel known as Super Meg- Thank you. The second failure of the duo is known as Matt Watson, a.k.a. Brat Watson. The group themselves are known, but not particularly acknowledged for the editing of other videos, such others being Game Grumps and Oni Gay, I mean, Plays. Ryan McGee's fetish is Ann Watson. Get that mic pointed at your mouth. Oh, sorry. Shit. Shit.

And here's the other one. Ryan McGee, a YouTube persona with a disgusting sense of humor who co-hosts his Let's Play slash Sketch channel with his buddy and lover Matt Watson. His interests bread, milk, cigarettes, video games, and the Iron Giant. Yeah. I mean, that gets me. The bread.

What's the bread from? All the money I'm making. Oh, yeah. The bread. Bread. Okay. Yeah. Oh, no, the bread. Bread, okay, yeah. You know. Oh, no. Is it that time? It's that time of day for the guy next door to come out with his leaf blower. Like a fucking sponge bottle.

But they can't hear it during the podcast, I guess. They can, they can. Last time I was editing and he did it, I could hear it. That's pretty loud. Stop it! Hey! Cut it out! Dude, he's not going to stop stop i don't know how to stop we'll go next door and tell the guy that the landscapers uh uh have been coughing and they have coronavirus so he fires

them all where is he how close is he right now to the to the window a few yards a few yards yeah several yards you want to go yell at him hey listen I know you're trying to support your family in this time of economic need but we're trying to record a funny podcast so why don't you bugger off and belch in his face like that yeah I will

after I do I'll go so the smell blows right in his nose we have several we have a neighbor across from the super megaplex who they're like I guess it's their kids but they look like they're probably like 22 year old

jacked Armenian dudes that are like really really really rich I fuck with them and every time we go outside they stare at us like what the fuck are these guys, like, doing here? And Ryan will just loudly be like, I'll stare at them and I'll do it. And then I'll just start walking. They're ripped, dude.

Those are the guys that, like, spend all day drinking protein and working out and committing crimes. Yeah, but it's funny because, like, it's so easy to fuck with people like that. Their house is nice. You just go, and they're like, why do you make that noise? I didn't. I tooted. Oops. Nice penis. What?

Yeah, well, we'll just like yell some shit out, but then not look. So they're like, did that come from them? I mean, like, just I'll do plausible non-ability. Be like, what are you talking about? I just start little fights like that. plausible liability be like what are you talking about I just start little fights like that and because you and I are registered

open carries we'll just stop you know it's like we'll pick fights and then we'll show our guns all you gotta do is pull the shirt up and flash that those are the type of people I hate the most when it's like the reason they have a gun is so they can start fights and if it gets too out of hand for them they can be like oh

I got a gun oh you're gonna're going to run away now, huh? Well, little bitches like that deserve to be stomped. They're still going to go to jail. Well, they're not going to get stomped, right? Because they have a fucking pistol. Stomped by the law. Well, that's the thing. The boot of the law, the boot of the American justice system.

You can't just shoot, even in a fight, I don't think you can just shoot someone, you know? You can't have a, even in a fight, I don't think you can just shoot someone, you know? You can't have a gun unless you have a... But even if you have an open carry thing, if you're going to fight with someone and shoot them, you're still going to go

to jail for that, right? Oh, if it's self-defense? I feel like it has to be so specific, though. Like, you can't just be in a fight and then be like, oh, you're both fighting

and then pull out a gun and shoot somebody. You're going to hate my rule. I think the moment you get into a fight, all bets are off. Well, this is why I'm scared to actually fight with you. There's no rules. No, like in a legitimate fight, not in a play fight. Well, I mean, if you and I ever got into a real fight, you know, I get what you're saying with the no rules.

But you know what? Because the other person who's fighting you probably doesn't isn't planned by the any rules the thing is if they drop you to the cement there is a chance that you could one just die have serious brain injuries like there are people you see videos on hold my feeding tube of people getting in the fights and like they start stiffening up and having seizures and shit and it's just like no i'm not gonna chance that if if anyone i'm not saying i could win a fight but i'm gonna do everything i can to win dirty so you're going 100 going for the eyes and the throat yeah nuts eyes throat anything in a fight with you i and if i see someone like shacking up to punch me i'm just gonna my first thought isn't gonna be like okay i gotta dodge

this but then i gotta make sure i just kick him in the balls as hard as the ball is really hard like just continuously. And then you run away. Then I'm gonna run because at some point their adrenaline they're gonna start running after me but then the adrenaline's gonna subside

and they're gonna have to collapse because it's gonna hurt so much. Dude if we got in a real fight would you be fair with me though? In a real fight? I'd be fair with you in a real fight. I don't think you and I would ever be in a real fight.

But if we did I think I'd make an I'd play by the rules in a fight there. We're mad at each other, but it's Ryan. I can't, can't twist his balls off of him.

I say yes because you're my friend and I know that you wouldn't, I know that, like, morally, you and I do have, like, those types of rules.

But I'm saying, if you get in a fight with a stranger at a bar, you don't know who you're fucking with. That's true. Really, dude, win a fight, I'm pretty sure,

dude, if you just punch someone in the throat, they're done. Actually, that's, don't, you can kill someone by doing that. I'm pretty sure, dude, if you just punch someone in the throat, they're done. Actually, you can kill someone by doing that. Don't do that. Hey. You can make someone swallow their fucking larynx. The number one rule is just don't start a fight because you never know how the other person will finish it.

People got knives and guns. That guy is really having fun with the leaf blower. Speaking of starting fights, we should probably go out there and start a fight with his dumb ass. Yeah. And before we go, instead of music, because I'm on this, I'm on this train of not putting in music

in this episode. In the last episode, I put a brand new song. People probably complained about it. I liked it. It's by Dan Mason. But here's another sound effect I get. Matt, you can choose the last sound effect

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