supermegashow - EP 192 - The Cult of SuperMega

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

Matt discovers the truth about the star he bought, we play charades, and we're starting a cult. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit angie.com that's a-n-g-i.com we're gonna get we're gonna get fucking crunk on some aspirin dude yeah we are dude again take a couple aspirin and get fucked up so excited dude you got your aspirin i got mine you look very comfortable today Those are the pants that I liked. You wore them again. Was it because I said I liked them?

I wore them because I was like, I'll get another compliment from Ryan. And I brought them up again. They feel good, though. They're very comfy. Look how stretchy they are. I know. I might have to steal them. Are you sure they're stretchy enough for me? Well, I don't know how stretchy they'll be.

Yeah, they'd fit you. These would work on you. What's up, dude? You know, just living off bananas and blow. Alright. That's a song. Is it? By who? Ween. Ooh, who's Ween? Ocean Man.

Okay. What you doing over there? Dude, I want to make these things, but they have... The atlets? Atlets? What are they called? Aglets? Aglets?

So, okay, hear me out. Ready? I only know that from Zack and Cody. This is a genius idea. I'm not kidding. Okay. Magnetic aglets. Nope, not magnetic aglets.

That is a good idea, too. But basically, you've got a pair of shorts. Cyanide aglets. No, not magnetic aglets. That is a good idea too, but basically you've got a pair of shorts. Aglets. No, not cyanide. Look, the end of the aglets have a little bit of flint in them. Okay. So like, let's say I'm lost in the woods. I need to make a fire. I can go start a little fire. Yeah.

I can go smack them together. And then just in case the fire gets too big, you have your penis and you can pee it out. That is one option, yeah. Or if you're a lady, you don't even have to pull anything out. And spray piss everywhere. Just lift your leg and... Just fire hose it.

Oh, God, didn't give you the fun ability like you gave to us. Gotcha. Too bad. So sad, go home, tell dad. Oh, well, I guess I can just whip it out and have precision. Precision with my pee. I can write my name. Yeah.

In the snow? Easily. A woman, it's just going to look like a big spray of piss. I know. God. What was God thinking? I don't know. I don't know.

God should have at least given them some kind of control over that. It's unfortunate he didn't. Imagine if they could have control over it. It's unfortunate you didn't, but... Imagine if, like, they could, like, have control over it. It was like this, like, rotating sphere. Like the eye of Sauron with the light. Anyway. Welcome to episode 192 of Super MegaCat. Oh, my God.

It's 192. That's crazy. Yeah, it is. Creeping closer to 200 by the second. Fuck, yeah. Every little second that passes is one second closer to episode 200, which will be no more special than any other episode.

Or will it? Who knows? Find out when we get there. We're gonna hype it up so much, guys, in the next few episodes. Get ready. It's gonna get so hyped. You're gonna get excited. You think Bob Saget's still putting ads on our stuff? You know, I told that moron Bob to stop putting his shit on our podcast, but he might still be throwing his ads on our stuff you know i told i told i told that moron bob to stop putting this

shit on our podcast but he might still be throwing the his ads on our podcast i don't know yeah you know he wants to be friends with us and he's like hey super mega guys can i just throw on like an ad or two you know just a short little like hey i'm bob saget listen to me please and we go okay okay buddy we but only so many only so many times in a row we can have you having your own advertisement because we got bigger businesses to support, to be honest, than Bob Saget's podcast. Well, what's frustrating to me is he kind of did this under the pretense that he liked us so much and he didn't even necessarily want to promote anything. At first, we didn't even know he was going to promote his podcast.

The very first time the podcast ad went out for the Bob Saget podcast, we did not realize. We thought it was just going to be a personalized shout-out. And then he didn't even mention us. He just said, hey guys, I have my own podcast. So we did feel a little betrayed that Bob Saget did that. I mean, in the ad,

if I remember correctly, he was supposed to say something along the lines of, you might have heard me talked about on the Super Megacast or something like that. Or he was supposed to mention us to some capacity. I thought it was just gonna be a shout out, like a cameo type shout out. He didn't mention us once, though. It was all just for his own podcast, which he started suspiciously after we started ours. Yeah. So that's all I got to say about that.

Just hopping on the podcast bandwagon. And I could tell I listen to the podcast and it's almost an exact carbon copy clone started ours. Yeah. So that's all I got to say about that. Just hopping on the podcast bandwagon. And I could tell, I listen to the podcast and it's almost an exact carbon copy clone of ours. So I'm a little disappointed, Bob. Would not recommend the podcast. Talked about the same stuff in our podcast. He talked about the poop,

the poops and farts. Yeah. And the penis stuff that we talked in that one podcast. It was the exact same conversation. So really bad podcast, guys. I wouldn't listen to it. Immature.

Just really crass. Try hard. Really crass try hard stuff. But we are back once again. And I'm a little pissed off, actually. At Bob? Not at Bob. Well, I am pissed off at Bob.

But, you know, it came to my attention that Ryan McGee. Uh-oh. Did I do something wrong? No, Ryan, you didn't do anything wrong. Okay. Chinese astronomers did. Okay? Oh, yeah.

It's not actually Ryan. You didn't buy the star. You got swindled. I got fucking swindled, dude. Can you take him to court? I might because I i so people people on uh reddit found the star from the last episode for those who are just skipping around random episodes in episode 191 the last one i bought ryan his very own star and i named it ryan mcgee

and by the way i do have to say the certificate never came in the mail it never showed up it's not coming the mail it's supposed to come to the office or your place my place i ordered it to my house never showed up so that is uh huh said within a week right i think it said within like three to four business days maybe covet 19 who knows yeah i guess i could you know well i'd expect them if they're gonna swindle me out of my money and false sell me a star the least they could do is send me a piece of paper in the mail you know yeah but there's a star called G Scorpi also named

not Ryan Fouyue but it doesn't say also named Ryan McGee no according to Wikipedia G Scorpi also named Fouyue is a star in the constellation of Scorpius anything about it being named Ryan McGee there or you being the owner of that star, Matt? On the Wikipedia?

Don't you think you should be given due credit? Well, it'd be really fucking cool if the Wikipedia page would load so I could give a couple facts about this and I could actually go and see if it is, in fact, named Ryan McGee as one of the other names. See, if I go to the Wikipedia page and it says

alternatively known as Ryan McGee, I would absolutely love that. And that'd be okay. But how does that happen? I mean, you can show them proof. You can send Wikipedia your certificate that says you own that star and you named it Ryan McGee.gee and so at least under the uh

pseudonyms you could just you know have something in there okay regard regarding super mega or ryan mcgee it's 126 light years from the sun and uh let me tell you about the nomenclature okay um it bore the traditional name Fu Yue in ancient China, and Fu Yue was a former slave that became a high-ranking minister to the Shang Dynasty ruler Wu Ding. So, yeah, a little pissed off that, you know, of the trillions of stars that they could sell that aren't claimed, they had to sell me one that was already claimed.

Because, you know, not every star is claimed. No, there's trillions with with a t yeah there's poop tillions exactly i want to go that's what i was trying to say last podcast i really really uh please to just make it feel like i didn't waste money if you guys have wikipedia editing powers at least just throw somewhere in there like like uh this make a section where it's because you know there's nomenclature property you see also i don't know the's, like, in pop culture. Because you do have the certificate. I have the certificate proving that's my star. That's your star.

Yeah, I paid for it. So maybe there could be a section if it's, like, in pop culture and you expand it. It's like – Exactly. In the popular podcast, Super Megacast, in episode 191, Matthew Watson, podcast host, an American Let's Player, purchased the star and owns the rights to the star. And named it Ryan McGee and owns the star to this day. Just copy exactly what you just said with my stutters and everything. Well, do it so someone will accept it at least.

Do you want to go take it up with the website and say, hey, could you resell me another star? Or are you saying, no, that's my star. I bought it fair and square. That's my star. I bought that star fair and square. I'm not going to get swindled again. I'm not going to go buy another one and be like, this will be the one and then find out that it already has a name. You know?

Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. He needs to get his stars in order. Yeah, he needs to get his stars in a row. He needs to. It's like you have two car dealerships. stars in a row he needs to it's like it's like you have two car dealerships like you have uh let's say you have a mini cruiser lot right and then a ford lot it would be like someone in the ford lot selling a mini cruiser from the mini cruiser lot it doesn't work that way yeah it's

absolutely ridiculous and imagine imagine if you if you go you go to the Ford lot and you buy that Mini Cruiser from them and then you find out – Mini Cruiser? I meant Mini Cooper. Oh, Mini Cooper. Sorry. No, no, no, no. I got it wrong. A Mini Cruiser is a combination between a PT Cruiser and a Mini Cooper.

Okay, sure. So just imagine whatever that looks like. Yeah. So I buy it – I didn't fuck up. That's right. No, you're good. I buy it from the Ford dealership and then they come and they repo my car because they're like you actually you know yeah you bought

it but it doesn't actually belong to you because it belongs to that dealership and it was illegally sold to you by the ford people it belongs to the mini cruiser dealership exactly so uh that's essentially what happened to me and it has been a tough week since i found out about that um and i know it's been tough for you too because you know know, you wanted your very own star. I think that what matters though is public opinion. I don't care if some jackass on Wikipedia says it belonged to a Chinese slave. That star in the sky is

Ryan McGee. Did the star belong to the slave? Well, it was named after the Chinese slave. Why that specific star? They couldn't have chosen another star to name the slave after? Yeah, the one next to it maybe? He became a minister or something yeah and under a Chinese that's divine I think that lays more claim than your than your human money but did they buy the star God did Fu Yue buy the star himself I don't he was a slave and a minister so he probably didn't buy the star himself he didn't have the money to buy the star at the time. That's why it was dedicated. I had the money and I bought the star. Where did my money go? It's gone. It's not in my bank account anymore.

Okay, I have a question. Rich jackasses. I have a question. Yeah. You know the Rocky statue of Sylvester Stallone? No. Well, you know how... Okay, there's a statue of him in Philadelphia or whatever. Really? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know that.

Great. It's like a statue of him. It's like you could say it's his statue. If you bought it, would it be his statue or your statue? Well, if I bought it, then I would own it. Yeah, but it's a statue of Sylvester. It's Rocky. Well, you know, someone could do a painting of Rocky and I could buy it rightfully and it would be mine

just because it's his likelihood doesn't mean he owns it. Just like with the star, that slave may lay claim to that star, but you purchased it, so it's rightfully your star. It's my star, yeah. Absolutely my star.

Do you know that in, I think, Kosovo, they loved clinton so much that they built there's a statue of bill clinton they're like a big ass yeah but does bill have a star i don't think bill does have a star go look up the bill clinton star and see if there's a single star in the universe i don't think that that he owns bill clinton star by the way, I found out, Ryan, that for $15,000 we can get on a Zoom call with Hillary Clinton. So, $15,000.

Do you think we could ask her stuff? Well, actually, it's funny you mentioned Bill Clinton Starr because the whole impeachment thing was done by Ken Starr and the whole thing was called the Starr Report. It's kind of funny.

Oh, History Channel is working on a documentary series with Bill Clinton. Is it about him? A whole show about Bill. A sitcom about Bill. It's just called Bill. And it's him living in a house with old HRC. And Monica's always causing trouble between the two of them. And she always shows up in the dress

with the cum stain. He's like, oh, she's here with the cum stain dressing in. She's in the kitchen trying to seduce him and he hears Hillary go, honey, I'm home. And he has to push her into the cabinet and shut the door. And she's like, who are you talking to? No one. And then one time she sees like the

cum kind of seeping a little out of the closet. She's like, what's that? Frosting for the cake I made you see? And he licks it and he goes, and the audience, he almost throws up, but he does the whole delicious. Oh, can I try it? Oh, it's not, it's, it's, it's not ready yet. I want you to, I want you to taste it when it's perfect.

When it's perfect. I want you to taste it when it's perfect. When it's perfect. I want you to taste it when it's perfect. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. to find people that can help you for a big project or a small? Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've

combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com.

That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order please? Can I get a Big Mac, McWrap, McFlurry, and a McDouble? Keep it rare, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder of cheese, a flat fish, oh please McGruder's, a McMuffin, and a large coffee A hamburger, cheeseburger, hash brown, hotcakes Vanilla cone shake, and a hot bar of sundae I just, last night we were talking about doing stand-up sets.

You were over at my house for Harrison's birthday. Yeah. And we're talking about how purposely bombing a stand-up set would be so funny, but... Not like with an explosive device. No, that wouldn't be funny at all. I'm talking about bombing in the sense of you're just bombing on stage. But Ryan Miss Herbin thought I said

vomit on stage. So then we crafted the idea of doing a stand-up set where it's fine. It's a fine stand-up set, but the whole time you're just holding back vomiting so hard. You can't really speak because you're just trying to

a stand-up set where all you do is get up on stage vomit into a bucket and then walk off. And then kick the bucket into the audience. Okay, that's I like that idea a lot more splash zone first few rows in the beginning you're like there's a splash zone folks and

everyone's like it's like aha it's it's funny then you throw up and then everyone's put off and then even to to put salt in the wound you can't get on them or even if you want could i be could i be would that be assault on my part if i did that or would that just would the cops be like oh that was hilarious i think you could pro i i these liberals need to stop being such big babies yeah it's like that's a cop with a stutter as long as if it's in california yeah then then they deserved it but i think that because you could definitely sue for that and i guarantee you'd be able to find a lawyer that would count that as a soul because you were assaulted with vomit.

Or a bucket if you got hit by the bucket. That's true. That's true. That's absolutely true. And my words if you found them offensive. Could you say something really mean to me and then I file a lawsuit for like verbal assault and I try to argue that you assaulted me with words? There is. Like I know that you can assault.

Like you can verbally assault someone but but legally, what is it? You can make that harassment. That's a harassment case, but I don't think you can strictly get in trouble for like, fuck you! Hey, okay, come with me, and you arrest someone. It's like... I think it's like, oh, fuck, we need to separate these two.

That's an harassment case. Do you want to file a restraining order? Or something like that. I don't know. So I've heard of verbal assault, but I haven't heard of verbal of pepper. What? A verbal of pepper? Verbal assault and verbal of pepper.

Damn good. Got it? That's good. I'm going to put in a laugh track. Are you? Here I am. Here I am. Here I am. Just a little bit.

Stop picking at your scab wounds. I have no scabs on me. I was playing with my leg hair. It's all your bed bugs again. I have no bed bugs. I was playing with my leg hair. Your pussy legs scarred with bed bugs. My pussy legs? Yeah, because they have so many bed bug

bites on them. I don't have a single bed bug bite on my body. I don't see how you can prove it. Prove it. How do you prove that I have bed bug bites on my body? What? How can you prove that? With my eyes. I can see that they're there. Yeah, but you can't prove to the audience that I have bed bug bites on my body? What? How can you prove that? With my eyes. I can see that they're there. Yeah, but you can't prove to the audience that I had bed bug bites.

Oh, they trust me. Well, they trust me a little more, I think. I don't know. That's weird. How come you have six toes? I don't have six toes. Oh, they're like 50% of the audience. I would almost say 95% of the audience now agrees with me or thinks that it's a fact that you have six toes. I have ten toes, actually.

Why do you like wearing a... See, you're trying to come up with something right there. I can see your brain. No, man, I had a stroke. That's mean. You can't make fun of me for a medical condition. No, you didn't have a stroke. You were trying to think of something. What are you trying to tell me I didn't have a stroke for?

Do you know what a stroke is? Prove that I had a stroke. I know exactly what a stroke is. Well, I don't feel comfortable anymore. Because you're making fun of my medical condition. So let's change the subject. Jesus Christ. Imagine doing a podcast with someone that's like so- they're like that hard to work with.

Welcome. with someone that's like so like they're like that hard to work welcome i like i like i like uh having a conversation with someone and just give them a look halfway through just a quick like see how they react sometimes you and i give each other behind the scenes looks when we're saying stuff and people on the podcast listening to it of course we'll never know never we're just kind of like you know there, there'll be some like raised eyes. That was a good joke. That was a good joke. Either that or, you know, when we're trying to gaslight our audience and make them go insane. I'll be like, I'll give you the old eyebrow raise.

It's like, what I'm saying is like, let's like go along with it. Yeah. You know, you know how it goes, bro. Exactly. You know exactly how it goes. So my, um. Because the end goal of this whole thing is to form a, some sort of like cult.

Essentially, yes. Yeah. Because what's more dedicated than a cult? You know, it's nice having a fan base and it does, you know, stroke my ego,

but nothing will do it quite the same as if we have a group of people willing to die for us. Yeah. And we're not going to, that's not the end goal.

Yeah. No one's going to, well, not everyone would die for us. Yes. I would prefer if the men could become castrated alongside us. Yeah. I mean, we'll take the burden of giving the earth more children.

You and I will take that burden. We'll take the burden of sex. Yeah. Off of the hands of our guys. Every man must have his his have his have his balls or vagina removed yeah and we will uh i don't want you guys to have to worry about that we'll take the burden of sex i can't believe people fell for that shit they did that that was a waco yeah he's like all right all you married couples can move in, but sex is wrong, so I'll take the burden of that, okay?

I'll take the burden. I'll be the one to... I don't want to do it, but... I'm going to open the seals. I don't want to have to be the one to do it, but you know what? I will take the burden of sex, and I'll have sex with all your wives. I will. I will.

Oh, fuck. Thank you, sir. Thank you, David. Thank you. Our hero. He's having sex with my wife, so I don't have to. David Koresh is having sex with my wife! Yes!

My child is going to be one of the 24 judges that sits at the table during the condemnation of humanity! Yeah! Well, that's a little preview of what our cult could be like. Yeah. Except, David Koresh, we would be two David Koreshs. It would be Matt and Ryan from Super Mega. We could change our name would be to David Koresh it would be Matt and Ryan from super mega we could change our name to Ryan and Matt

Koresh we could you know if we started a cult we could just both he already has still a claim to a cult there they're still David correct whatever they call it date Davidians Davidians yeah something Davidians it's like branch

Davidians branch Davidians yeah yeah we'll make the I got done watching that fucking show Davidians. Something Davidians. It's like Branch Davidians. Branch Davidians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll make the. I got done watching that fucking show. Oh, the Netflix series. I still think the documentaries I have seen about it are way more entertaining. Yeah, for sure. So I'm going to go back and watch one of those again.

It's not like to wash the taste out of the miniseries of my mouth, but there's so much where it's like, you're doing TV show stuff here. Yeah. But it's like, I kind of just wanted to see a simplified story with actor. I don't know. I was in the mood for kind of like, like a Snickers bar, but for my eyes. Okay. Yeah.

I guess. Or a Snickers ice cream sandwich, but for my eyes. Sure. That makes sense. I, uh, I watched the first episode and I didn't I wasn't really into it. It didn't catch me. I didn't enjoy it. It seemed like they were going for that

style of recreation show where it's recreating some crazy event like Waco and they want to build characters and stuff, but they kind of missed the mark a little bit, I think. It was just kind of boring and not very fun I wish that I feel like it lacked

a vision you know it was just very kind of like plain yeah it was plain and I've watched documentaries on Waco and I've found those to be very interesting we drove through Waco when we were on tour in Texas also talking about cults there was a if I could ever write

a short TV series it'd be so cool to do one about Heaven's Gate but like a really well done one about Heaven's Gate because they all had themselves castrated and they all killed themselves wearing the same Nikes and hoodie and everything

Adidas tracksuits so they could go join the UFO Adidas tracksuits? Yeah. So they could go join the UFO. Are they red Adidas tracksuits? No. Purple. Purple. Purple hoodie, black pants, and then Nike shoes. I forgot what they were, but they went and they joined the UFO. And fedoras.

They all had fedoras. Well, our cult had fedoras. They all had to have silk fedoras. Silk fedoras? Yeah. Those will run up the price tag in the cult. Hey, more money for us. We can extra upcharge it. We can be like, hey, it's silk fedoras. But. Those will run up the price tag in the cult. Hey, more money for us. We can extra upcharge it.

We can be like, hey, it's silk fedoras. But it's not actual. Yeah. These are our blessed fedoras made from the fabric of our holy gardens. Oh. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Like in we grew the textiles. We grew the silk ourselves in the garden. And God blessed it. He told me that he blessed it. He told me that he blessed it. He told us that he blessed it. Well, in our cult, who is God? Is God, you know, is God the title? Like, is this like a cult based on Christianity?

No, every other religion is false. We're the right one. Every other religion is kind of on the right path, but we're on the correct path. We're the ones, we are the two messengers that God sent down to earth to spread the true message and only a few people out of all of the billions of damned souls will be able to hear the call. God actually thought Jesus was a

big simp and a mistake and so he sent us to kind of correct the errors and those simp Christians that follow Jesus. They are such simps, dude. They're simps for God. Hey, there we go.

We got our next music video. Yeah. Simp for Jesus. How would people simp for Jesus if he was a Twitch streamer? How would they simp for him? Man, I don't know, dude, because I imagine Jesus would wear a lot of clothing, like a lot of cloak. Like a robe. Like a robe.

A cloak? Not a cloak. A cloak. Makes him sound like he's evil. Like a nice, you know, Middle Eastern robe. Do you think Jesus would put like a dyed streak in his hair, like dye his hair? Like a big red streak in his hair, a big like neon green one? Yeah.

And he has those big colorful headphones, like the big headset? With cat ears on them. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then like if he, every 50 subs he gets, he does the, whatever that face is, what's it called? The crossed eyes, tongue out shit. Ah, hey gal.

That one. Yeah. He does that face. Dude, imagine Jesus. And then he starts an OnlyFans to spread the word. I mean, that could be the second coming. You ever think about this? The second coming could just be a girl on Twitch

that's actually Jesus, but it's just a girl on Twitch. But Jesus got really nice, like, stuff. Well, the thing is, you know, Jesus said when he returns, he could return as someone else and we'll never know. Exactly. So it could be a hot, a fine, a fine piece of ass on Twitch. He could be Joe Biden. He could be Joe Biden. He could be Joe Biden.

Jesus very much. And we're all making fun of Jesus. Dude, he could be. He could be. Are we making fun of Jesus when we're making fun of slow-mo Joe? Dude, we got guys. Oh, I just called him slow-mo Joe. Get out there and vote for Joe Biden.

Slow-mo Jesus. Vote for Joe Biden, guys. I think that's the message here. Yeah. You ever think that Jesus could just be someone you know? Nope. Oh. Okay.

What if I was Jesus, Ryan? What if I... You wouldn't know. Yeah, you sinned a lot. What? If you were Jesus, you'd be sinning a lot. Well, no one said Jesus was perfect, Ryan, and times have changed, so. Jesus was perfect.

And I'm not, I don't think I, I don't think I sin a lot. Plus, I think Jesus would be a lot cuter than you. Oh, thank you. So that rules us both off then, both off the list for being Jesus. Yeah. Maybe it's Brett. Dude, what if it is Brett? Maybe it's Tom Pearl. Maybe Tom Pearl is the second comment. It's not Tom

Pearl. And you know exactly why it's not Tom Pearl. Spread the word. He would do good in Catholicism, though, as a priest. I want you to eat the body with me. Take this shit as it is my blood. Oh, priest. I want you to eat the body with me. Take this shit as it is my blood.

Oh man, I miss communion, dude. Not the act of it, but just the wine. Are you just referencing an act of which Tom Pearl is mimicking communion, but instead of them dipping the bread in wine, they're dipping the bread in his diarrhea?

Well, he's just eating his diarrhea. In front of a congregation? Yes, yes. And he's wearing robes. What did the congregation think of this? Are they like yelling and like, woo!

Or are they just kind of like, yes. Yeah, like that. They have their arms up. Yes, eat it. Eat the poop. Eat the poop. Yeah, you know.

But I do miss communion. I could go for a big old cup of wine, like a chalice of wine. Not a cup, a chalice of wine. And get some wafers. Just doink. Not the wafers for me. I could go for a big old cup of wine, like a chalice of wine. Not a cup, a chalice of wine. And get some wafers. Just doink.

Not the wafers for me. I need that good bread. That's what I'm talking about. The little, oh, you're talking about real bread. Loaves of bread. See, my church knew. You know, we're not getting these wafers. You know, Jesus didn't show up with wafers, did he?

How do you know? Were you there? Yeah. In the paintings, it shows him with bread and fish. A good hearty loaf of bread. Did they dip the fish in wine, too? No. Now that would be gross. Well, the thing about bread will absorb the wine.

Fish, it's just gonna kind of... I don't know. People cook some steaks in wine. I'm sure there's some fish... But dipping something in wine is different from sautéing a steak. I need to go buy some red wine. I need to get myself a hearty loaf of bread and just have myself a good night tonight. Ooh, that's not, on the way home, I might have to pick up a bottle of wine. Yeah.

And a loaf, I don't want to. I shouldn't. Yeah, I shouldn't either. I'm trying to not drink as much. I'm trying to be healthier. I was just saying, I'm trying to go out, like not trying to go to the grocery store. Like in my head, I'm like, well, if I forgot it, fuck me. I'll have to remember.

Let this be a lesson for next time. Don't forget it next time. I just, I am ready for this to be over. It ain't. I know. There's still like 20 more minutes left. Just kidding. Talking about coronavirus.

Quarantine. I'm ready for it to be over. Isn't there the possibility that this is like the... Just kidding. Talking about coronavirus. Quarantine. I'm ready for it to be over. It is. Isn't there the possibility that this is like the, just the new what it is of going out for years? Oh, don't. Like, is this the new? No, like, I don't think people will stay in lockdown just because people are people. You know what I'm saying? Is this just going to be like,

well, this is just kind of how dangerous it is right now on planet Earth for humans. And we're just going to have to fucking deal with it. Because I don't want to deal with it. What's also making it worse and harder is like now that the weather's warming up and it's getting warm

outside. Doesn't sunlight kill it or some shit? It's not like a vampire. Didn't they say like heat kind of? I think heat is not good for viruses. It's harder for them to survive, I think, in the heat. But seriously, man, I just, it's getting warm outside. I'll open up my window and it smells like summer's rolling around. I'm like, I just want to be outside.

I want to go around. I want to go outside and go to a bar. LA's lifting up, right? They're lightening up soon. They're opening some businesses for curbside pickup, but that's it. Oh, I thought they were like opening No, they're not opening anything. Have they said that they're

extending it past May 15th yet? I don't know actually because Are they like opening up curbside stuff and they're like, for another week, we'll see what happens. I don't know, actually, because... Are they opening up curbside stuff and they're like, for another week, we'll see what happens. I don't know, because I haven't heard anything yet. Because usually they announced it way before this. Yeah. But it seems like it's still May 15th.

Wait, so on May 16th, are we just going to be able to... Are things opening back up? I mean, they shouldn't yet, obviously. I don't think that... If you still look at the numbers and everything, it's not time, unfortunately. As badly as I want it to be, it's not. And the people protesting against that,

yeah, you have a right to protest, but in my opinion, you guys are being dumbasses. It's a virus. It's a pandemic that's killing thousands of people i don't get the protests against the virus i get i get like protests against like i don't know i get not that i agree with it but there is a the the sect that are small businesses and shit that are struggling and they're just kind of like well we're just gonna fail I guess, for the betterment of the people. And I think that's just a harsh bullet for a lot of people to take.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, definitely. I just want to be able to go to the public pool and go swim a few laps, man. Give the lifeguards some jobs. Oh, my God. Yesterday. Oops, I'm drowning.

It was Harrison's birthday, And we went on a nice drive And I drove up to Ventura County And I drove specifically to the city of Ventura Because I'd never been there And it was just a really nice little surf town Like a nice little California seaside town And I went, and you can't go on the beach But I drove on a road that goes right by the water And I had the windows down And I could smell the can't go on the beach, but I drove on a small, like a road that goes right by the water.

And I had the windows down and I could smell the ocean, like feel the sea spray. I was driving. I was like, oh my God, I just want to go to the fucking beach. I know. I can't. But there were people. There were people surfing and stuff. There's a lot of people at the beach, aren't there?

Like you can go to Santa Monica, isn't it? Like pretty busy still or whatever. Not that I know of. I thought they closed them all off. Not necessarily Santa Monica. Huntington. Is it Huntington? Huntington Beach is open, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not them all off. Not necessarily all closed off. Is it Huntington? Huntington Beach is open, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not going to go down there. Of course not. There's too many people. It's dumb. But from my car, the ocean was very nice. Hasn't New York said that a lot of the people that, like, there's still somewhat of like 600 people that are infected a day, essentially, and most of those people of those people are, like, people that are staying at home and shit.

I don't know. Which would be... I think I saw a clip of him saying that. They all live on top of each other in New York, though. New York, of course, like, would be the worst place for a virus because... Because if it's in one apartment complex, it's just going to spread throughout the complex. Yeah, because all apartments there are so small and cramped together, you know? I think that's with any apartment.

I guess homes are secluded areas and stuff like that, but when you live in an apartment complex or a condo, when there's constant goings in and outs, think of staying at a hotel. There's only so often

that they're going to clean after someone touches something. Yeah. It's freaky stuff. We haven't gotten it yet, fingers crossed. Who knows? Maybe we have. only so often that they're going to clean after someone touches something, you know? Yeah. It's freaky stuff. We haven't gotten it yet, fingers crossed. Who knows? Maybe we have, and we're just asymptomatic. That's true.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. I had fun with you yesterday. That was fun when you came over. Yeah. Some steak for dinner. It was really nice to say happy birthday to Harrison. Please play Possibly. Is it something I would want too? It's a roll of toilet paper. Oh, he didn't tell me about that.

So yeah. Speaking of which, how are we doing here? What do you mean? On toilet paper. You can't go take any poops, I don't think. We've been saying, actually, it's lasted a lot longer than we thought. Because I remember several episodes ago, we're like, there's enough for a couple more. And we've been able to stretch it, you know, quite a few weeks. But I think we're about there's there's enough for a couple more and we've been able to stretch it you know quite quite a few quite a few weeks but i think we're about at the the limit here but i don't

think toilet paper is hard to get anymore so at this no it's all at 7-eleven and shits we're just being like oh no we can't it is hard to get it like some grocery stores though i still like there's a grocery store i went to uh what a few weeks back uh they were all out of toilet paper still they had some paper towels i think but they were mostly just out of it i guess they still haven't gotten the hang of how much they should order yeah because there's a lot of hoarders i hate you oh i took part the other night i was outside my house on the phone with my mother and an 8 p.m hit and you know what happens at eight a couple podcasts ago remember when we were starting and

we heard we heard people like the whoo yeah yeah i know it at eight o'clock every day everyone in la yells out their window yeah really not just la but like across the country so it's happening in like 12 minutes uh 20 or 18 minutes yeah so if we go outside in 18 minutes, you'll hear people do it again. It's at eight o'clock every day. I took, I took part in it. I went outside.

Did you hear people? Yeah. Was it a lot of people? I was in my neighborhood. I heard, I heard them all over. Like I'm going to still just sound like what I did last time. Let's go do it.

Hey, you guys, I think it's actually, I thought someone said it's like a, for healthcare workers or something because that's when they change shifts. Well, now I feel bad, Matt. It is. I think that's when healthcare workers change shifts. So it's like everyone like yells in like appreciation.

And then, you know, the person has had the worst day of their life and they're like, well, at least I can hear, you know, the people supporting me. And I'm like, ooh, ooh. least I can hear you know the people supporting me and they go home that night and give up they're like I can't do it anymore after that I was like if they had heard a nice supportive scream they're like you know what I can keep going and save lives but that was that was it but in I'll set an alarm hold on uh set my alarm for 759 can you not cough while I'm talking to Siri? Thank you. No, I can't. Set my alarm for 7.59.

Set my... Set my alarm for... Stop! What's going on? Set my alarm for 7.59. Nine. Okay. She set the alarm for 7.59.

So when it's time you know we can get up and do a little little hooting and hollering for our healthcare workers shall we uh put on

like shall we take big speakers out there and put the sound of rabbits being slaughtered playing very loudly over the speaker system probably not I don't think the neighbors

would like that quick way to get our lease terminated but if anyone is in a hostage situation it would probably force them to come out how? so that's good that's what they did with Waco

I figured that it would work here they did that at Waco? yeah they set up speaker systems and had loud rock music playing or the sound of slaughtered rabbits or rabbits being slaughtered. Oh, to drive them crazy to come out? Yeah. That's what they do to

forced insomnia. Terrorists and stuff. But the... Didn't they use a Britney Spears song? Yeah, they used the Sesame Street song. They used some Freddie Dredd. They used Blonde Boys. Blonde Boys apparently is uploaded to Spotify by someone. I saw that.

That's not us on Spotify that uploaded that. I don't know how to get that taken down. But if you're listening, if you upload that to Spotify, please take it down. It's just kind of like, I don't know, syndico is like over. And so it's weird that people are kind of taking advantage of that. Someone's making money off of it. Yeah. Definitely taking advantage of that situation. I don't know. Maybe they're not. It's like maybe that's not their intent.

I'm not saying that they went out and were like I'm going to take advantage of this business that's now gone that means a lot to these two people. It's like no he probably was just like ooh I want to this isn't on Spotify I'm going to put it up for my friends and was just like oh i want to i want to this isn't on spotify i'm gonna put it up for my friends and other people who want to listen to it

yeah yeah and i get it's annoying it's on spotify it's not on spotify um there's a reason it's not on spotify yeah first of all the sample isn't cleared i don't think yeah like the sample is uh from another artist uh and we felt weird profiting off of it. In fact, we actually, we never made a single penny off of Blonde Boys. Do we not? No. Oh, I wouldn't know. Because the whole channel's demonetized.

Yeah, like, I don't think we ever did. The channel's been demonetized. I don't know. There was something that happened where it just all, I think it was shortly after Daniel passed that either I went through all the videos or something happened. It's just D-Mite just doesn't make any money? Or if it is being monetized, that was set up under like Daniel's account. Yeah. So like I don't, I have no idea what's up with it.

If there's money, I don't know where it is. And it's all mine. No. What if this. Okay. How mad would you be if you found this whole time I had access and I was just taking the money every month. What a horrible fucking thing. It would be very bad.

Very mean. Very heartless little thing. Get over it. But yeah. It's too bad, isn't it? It would be too bad. Yeah. But you're not doing it.

Because you're a good guy. Yeah. No matter what you want to betray. Yeah. I'm a good guy. Yeah. No matter what you want to betray. Yeah, I'm a good guy. But like kind of a weasley good guy. You're a good guy at heart. Like Ron?

But you're like a little weasel. Is that how you see me? No. You see me as a good guy at heart, but I'm a little weasel? No. Why would I see you like that? Unless you have any reason for, you know, to be. Because I'm stealing the money

i'm coming clean it's been bearing on my soul for far too long i always knew you were a thief i never made a single cent off kids with problems ever not a single single damn penny yeah you gave it all to me it was very very nice well that was my way of making myself feel better for taking but damn dude i am excited to get out there and do some hooting and hollering of making myself feel better for taking this in to go mine. But damn, dude. I am excited to get out there and do some hooting and hollering. Me too. I really want some sweet tea, actually. I mean, it hasn't been too long.

You want some sweet tea? I do. I want some sweet tea. We got some in the fridge because we ordered Chick-fil-A. We were like, let's get a fucking gallon of sweet tea. Is this a flea bite? What? That's a bed bug bite, Ryan.

You're covered in them. No. Let me see. Is it hard? I don't know. I'm not good at identifying bug bites. Could be a spider. Also, it could be fucking mosquitoes because they're out like a motherfucker.

Oh, yeah. See, they don't have to obey quarantine. Mosquitoes can go and do whatever the fuck they want. That's not fair to me. I hate it. Oh, yeah. You were talking about forced insomnia. I started taking medicine to help me sleep at night.

Not like pills or anything, but I just I need to sleep better because I didn't realize it's not normal to wake up like eight times a night. Yeah. Because most people I talked to were like, oh, I don't even wake up once during the night or I wake up once. At worst, it would be like once. Is that how you are? Yeah. So I wake up seven or eight, nine, sometimes 10, 11, 12 times a night. Really?

Yeah. And I thought it was normal. And then I'm like, no wonder I'm tired all the time. I'm like, I don't get REM sleep because I just fucking, or if I do get it, do I end up waking up? What wakes you up? Do you never like enter that REM sleep or you're woken up before you can enter it or like? Yeah. Well, I mean, if I'm constantly waking up in the night, you know, like have you ever ever seen the graph of, like, your sleep cycle where there's, like, a wake and then there's REM, like, down there?

Like, I can't hit that as much as I should be hitting it if I'm always coming back up. And it just fucking sucks, man. I don't know how to stay asleep at night because it not even— Is the medication helping? What? Is the medication helping? The first night I did, the second night I slept terribly. And tonight would be night three, but it's...

Are we going to do that sleep study? Yeah, I do want to do a sleep study once they're open again, just because I have so many questions about my sleep and it's killing me. And I hate being tired all the time. Like today before we came to the office, I took a nap and it was this feverish two-hour nap where i woke up every probably 8 to 15 minutes but when i woke up i'd still be asleep like i can't describe it i just felt like i was in this lucid but yet still asleep state and i wasn't actually sleeping or i wasn't actually getting rest i was doing the act of sleeping and i was dreaming and everything and feeling asleep you dream a lot i have so such that might be why i wake up so much during the

night because my dreams make me wake up because i don't wake up for any specific reason i just wake up and then i go back to sleep and i wake up and i go back to sleep and when i do wake up i'm only up for like a minute sometimes 10 minutes max but it's just so annoying i i i miss getting a full night's sleep before i headed over here and i could tell your little voice was yeah yeah yeah baby because i just don't get it's like i sleep but i don't get rest um pretty deep isn't it i sleep but i don't get rest because i could sleep for 16 hours and still feel tired and i could like i it doesn't matter i could sleep for four hours i could sleep for 16 hours and still feel tired. It doesn't matter. I could sleep for four hours.

I could sleep for 16 and feel the exact same. Bad. No good. Dirty, rotten. Great-great-grandfather. Stinky. What? I just want to be able to sleep.

Too bad. Well, yeah, it is too bad because I can't I love sleeping though I stop sticking your tongue out at me while I'm talking about this dude I'm talking about something that's plaguing my life and causing me distress stop dude he did the thing the iron giant does where he puts his hands up next to his head

and he goes that that that that that's enough that's enough stop putting stop it see you listeners can't see what he's doing but I think he's antagonizing me okay now he's pretending to suck on a penis yeah cause it's hot it is pretty hot

I won't deny that I won't say it's not hot god damn that's hot what are you shaking your arms up and down we playing charades now okay let's play charades. Let's play charades. Okay, okay.

Hold on, let me think of something. Let me think of something. Is it a movie? No, let me think of something. Let me think of something. Jeez. Stay in your seat. You got to stay in your seat.

I am going to stay in my seat. I'm just moving the mic a little bit. All right. Let's see. Okay. Getting warmed up. Yeah. I'm getting my creative muscles.

I'm flexing. Flexing. I'm getting those juices flowing through that big creative brain of yours. I'm going to slap my forehead to rattle my thoughts around, you know? Don't you have to do that, you know? Yeah. Sometimes the thoughts, they get stuck. So you got to really knock them. it's like jelly you get them out oh

okay oh there's some over there too you gotta knock some out the back they get stuck all around those little suckers yeah stick to things um go okay one oh no I mean, the first thing you know, I'm just ignore me. Okay. Praying. He's praying. Drinking. You're drinking. Oh, did you die? Jonestown? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Jonestown. I got that real fast. That was one word.

Fantastic, dude. Oh, that's what the one was. That's right. I forgot to play charades. Okay. I forgot how to play charades. Okay. I'm going to give you one, okay? Mm-hmm. I'm going to make it a little tricky for you, okay?

Okay, okay. Two words. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Rotating. Filming. It's the category. Film.

Movies. Film. Fishing film fishing no it was film was that right with film tv yes tv okay okay two words it's a tv show okay or it's someone's name on tv washing rinsing car car wash, washing. You're washing. Now you're getting head, and now you're drawing a box. And now you're, okay. Yeah, you're rubbing. Yeah, is this all in one thing? Like this and this is just one word?

One of the words? Yeah. You're washing, and then you're getting a blow job. You're receiving oral sex. Check it out. Yeah. A box. Yeah.

You're drawing a box. Now you're drawing something. Now you're putting pants on. SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes. There it is. See, I did sponge and then bob you know like yeah

something's bobbing I got it eventually square it's when you cut out the square I looked and I was like square yeah when I put those

pants on you knew it you knew it I'm not very good at charades I don't do it oh I got one I got one for you

okay picking your nose no well thank you for calling that one out Ryan very embarrassing for me it's my allergies

my allergies have been fucking awful dude i'm not picking my nose how was i supposed to know that wasn't what what it was go on you had one okay okay um this might be the most insane thing people are listening okay ready i'm not being able to see you do performance so it's just us yelling out things i don't know how to tell the game it's a person okay okay it's a person a celebrity cool celebrity two words doja cat what the fuck it's not doja cat what seth rogan no dude what was that face? Who is that? It's Keaton Jones, dude. What is Keaton Jones?

It's Keaton Jones. How is that supposed to be Keaton Jones? I was crying. Dude, it's good old Keaton Jones, man. I wish I could have stayed for the movie, but I just left. That felt like a piece of a conversation from like 30 minutes ago that you just cut out of that one and just paste it into the middle of this one. It's like the middle. It's like, yeah, I wish I could stay for the movie, but I had to leave.

Yeah, we watched Rebel without a car. I didn't finish it. I went to bed. I got sleepy. Good. How much more did you watch? When I went away, was everyone else like, okay, I can use that as my out now? No.

People started to trickle? We took it inside, though, and ate cake for Harrison's birthday. Delicious cake. It had a bunch of and ate cake for Harrison's birthday. Delicious cake. It had a bunch of strawberries on it. It was delicious. Our friend Annabelle made a nice strawberry

if I picked the strawberries off I'm sure I would have loved it. Yeah bro. Also I didn't stay long enough to have any of the cake. I know you left before cake bro. It was really disappointing.

It was fun though. We set up a projector in our backyard and projected a movie on the side of my house laid in the grass also we got a little pool

like a like a 10 foot pool like a little inflatable one from Walmart and filled it up with the hose and had a couple glasses of wine

and we all chilled in the pool very fun you were just you were just chilling there yeah ooh was that your butthole? Could you see it?

Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to see if it was possible to show it from this angle. Yeah, you did show your butthole to me. Okay. It did work. Yeah. Classic Matt Watson butthole peek.

Damn. You know, I'm always getting my friends with that one. Yeah. Classic. Like, yo, look over here. Oh, it's my butthole. It's his asshole. Gotcha.

Oldest trick in the book. Oldest trick in the book oldest trick in the book oh I also saw Drive for the first time yeah we did well you saw Drive for the first time but we all watched Drive

yeah Ryan came over and we watched Drive cause I've never seen it and I've heard about it a million bajillion times and everyone's like you have to watch Drive and there is

you know it's weird because while you're watching it you do like see a lot of the things know it's weird because while you're watching it you do like see a lot of the things where it's like ah ha ha ha you know you get it you get why people like it but you get why people make fun of people who like scream it at the mountaintops that it's the best

cinematic experience that's ever been yeah cause what I've gathered people like film bros are like it's the best movie ever made yeah and like you might have notos are like, it's the best movie ever made. Yeah. And like die on it. You might have not heard about this movie. It's called Drive. It was amazing though, I will say.

I loved it. Yes. Such a good movie. I absolutely loved it. So good. So good. I really, really, really, really enjoyed it. Yeah.

I'm glad. I loved the music. And I knew all the songs. knew all the songs yeah i knew all the songs ahead of time just because i've heard them you know i've had like friends play them forever and i just didn't know they were from drive yeah so it was fun seeing some music that i knew and that it wasn't like this uh like fast and furious furious like need for speed like it wasn't all about like him driving there might have been like two exciting instances of something happening with a car maybe yeah dude but like it was i love how in the beginning of the movie and i just uh it's such a

good subtle sense of humor where you know he's about to get the car for the job and the for the opening kind of heist and he's passing all these like muscle cars and he's souped up like need for speed cars and then he's like yeah for this you're gonna be using a corolla or something like that it was just like hey and he just kind of uses like a family vehicle to pull it off and he's not using like some he does get a cooler car later on so that's where like people get that image of it from but like i think when it was first advertised a lot of people were upset due to the marketing because they thought it was going to be like this high action driving movie but now now uh fast and furious i think pump they can yeah they can

they can they have that they have that corner they can just take it I love LA movies too it's one of my favorite genres now I just love watching movies that take place in LA because

I don't know it's like oh it's my home it's cool watching events unfold like where I walk around and get groceries

and I love it's so cheesy but I love watching an LA movie like I know where that is oh I know where that is ooh like oh that's that's the mountain that's the mountain that's the mountain yeah so i

love watching like la movies and and stuff like that just because it's it's fun it's a trivia uh there's apparently like a new show on netflix that takes place in charleston was shot in charleston so i want to watch it because my dad's like son you'd you'd recognize all sorts of places if you watch it did they film on king street i think so probably no no it'd be too busy for them to film don't you think not during coronavirus oh shit or they could just shut it down because charleston's becoming a big just the south in general is becoming like a big shooting place for for movies yeah like atlanta is really big not the show well the show is big but uh atlanta and savannah well for a while it has been like even though the hunger games movies were there was a lot of

was north carolina right yeah yeah walking dead films in georgia oh oh oh shit did my alarm go off what the it's going off right now but but it's silent. I hear people screaming outside. Gotta go scream. Wait. Woo! Nice. And we did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.

We did it. We did it. We did it. Nice And we did it We did it We did it We did the fucking We did it We're gonna be hearing it

For the next five minutes too Yeah so I don't know Why my alarm didn't It did go off but It was on silent mode Or something But I thought Is that why you don't wake up huh

No I thought if my Phone's even on silent The alarm should still go off Yeah I thought so too I don't know why that did? No, I thought if my phone's even on silent the alarm would still go off. Yeah, I thought so too. I don't know why that did that. That's so fucking bizarre, man. But we didn't miss it. Luckily, the fellow people of Los Angeles alerted us that it was time to go outside

and scream. Yes. I wonder if that will carry on afterwards. People will still try to do it. Also, I like it because it's going gonna be just one of those little things where it's like hey do you remember like during that time like remember there was that period where everyone would just scream everyday at 8pm

like yeah when I was a kid people would yell outside at 8pm cool grandpa it is crazy like we are we're just living in such a weird timeline the world ended in 2012 and now we're in an alternate timeline It is crazy. We're just living in such a weird timeline. The world ended in 2012 and now we're in an alternate timeline.

You just realize how much you take things for granted and shit. Going out? Just, I don't know. I just want to go to a fucking restaurant with my friends and eat some good food. I remember the last restaurant I went to. I still do. I can't even remember what the last restaurant was.

It was right before quarantine. It was this place in Silver Lake and it was French, I think. No, it was Italian. It was Italian food. But kind of like different Italian food from some different part of Italy. I had some wine and it was fantastic. And this was right when, right

in the first few days when it started picking up. And then everything shut down. Potentially my last dinner out might have been this this, like barbecue place. Zeke's barbecue. Oh, the one that we went to with Markiplier a long time ago. I went there and I still like it. It's a good place.

Good place. I miss going to bars, dude. I love just going around to bars late at night and just, I like quiet bars. I don't like. Your house is a bar. It's not the same, though. Jackson made a delicious beverage. Oh, he did.

That thing was delicious. It was like a frozen... You got me pretty drunk. Yeah, I was pretty alcoholic. I just miss going to bars. I like going to dimly lit bars, sitting at a booth, talking with friends, and just having a couple drinks. Listening to some music. Taking a walk outside, feeling a breeze

yeah, it's so nice man I love bars, I thought I would hate bars when I was younger because the thought of bars scared me because I'm like, bad stuff happens or I'm going to have to talk to people I don't want to talk to bar fights, bar fights are going to happen did a food fight ever happen at your school?

no, never you always wanted it to though you're like, food fight all you wanted if you- Did a food fight ever happen at your school? No, never. Right? Like, isn't that like- You always wanted it to, though. You're like, food fight. All you wanted to hear was someone yell food fight. Yeah. And it actually happened. There were like a few occasions where like someone threw a piece of food at someone else,

but that was like its own isolated incident. I don't think- Yeah. It erupted into like everyone doing it. I want to know in the comments for this podcast, here's the question. Have y'all ever ever did your school ever have a food fight i want to know like and it can't be like the school was like we're hosting a food fight outside on the football field what a waste of food hey guys we're we're letting you use all

of our rancid food we had to throw out all the food went bad and and they don't want to tell like the district so they're like, um, vote at each other. Let us know if it's ever actually happened, like a legitimate food fight as in like one where pretty much everyone got up. A majority of the cafeteria. And food was flying. If not half.

Half is a pretty big number. Yeah, it took a long time to clean up too. Dude, a food fight sounds so much fun. I know. Like still this day, I'd love to be in a food fight. Food fight! Like just the idea of us being in a, why don't we do it in a restaurant? We get sued. That's the thing, but

it would be pretty fun to go into a restaurant and just have a big food fight. Like at a buffet? Yeah. We could rent a place out and be like, hey, instead of like having a birthday here, could we just have a food fight no absolutely not why would we let you do that

we'll clean it up no no but you let kids come here piss and throw things are gonna stain the kids will piss and throw up on your carpet sir all we're doing is... No.

I bet you spill food in your restaurant every fucking day. You can't allow us to at least have one food point? Well, people don't spill food on the walls. On the ceiling. You're a fucking asshole, sir. You're a bitch. You're a simp, dude. Get out of my restaurant.

Fuck you. Make me. Get out of my buffet. No, I have a gun. You're a simp, dude. Get out of my restaurant. Fuck you. Make me. Get out of my buffet. No, I have a gun. Help! Help! Now he's laughing maniacally at me. Call the police!

Just me standing with the gun laughing. Describing me. I'm standing here with a gun laughing. I liked, uh, I liked somebody posted some I saw on Reddit that somebody put somebody posted some Japanese Animal Crossing YouTuber that has your laugh. Like there's a Japanese YouTuber that

laughs just like you and I thought that was hilarious. It's Japanese Super Mega. I love the comment. I can't remember the name. Someone commented. It was my favorite comment. It was so good. It was they said they should get him for the Japanese dub of Super Mega. I can't remember the name. Someone commented. It was my favorite comment. It was so good. It was... They said they should get him for the Japanese dub of Super Mega.

I didn't see that. That's great. I have a friend. Surprising. Didn't see that one coming, did you, buddy? You Palestinian bastard! I bring my race into this. Sorry.

I'm sorry. I can't help it. I take it back. I can't help the way I look, Sorry. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I take it back. I can't help the way I look. I'm sorry. Okay. I have a friend named Ricky, a.k.a. Ricardo from Mexico, who he was in the Kids of Problems video.

Take me out. I went to college with him and we became good friends. He was here on an exchange and I was back in Mexico. But he loves making stupid, goofy videos like the Gus Johnson type where he plays a bunch of different characters by himself he's funnier than Gus Johnson too well that's not hard to be funnier than Gus Johnson I don't want anyone to

for a second think that I'm that we're being serious Gus is too nice to ever rag on me he's a very nice dude and he's very funny I've talked to him very few times but for the few times I have I've spoken to either him or eddie they have both been stand-up young little gentlemen i sucked them off once and god damn i'll tell you what dude carpets match the drapes does eddie like your bum smell you know he calls it

bum funk what yeah what are you talking about at universally he was like y'all got bum funk and uh i would like i don't know he he told me to reach my hands into my pants and then he would smell my hands okay i didn't know what he was doing i remember i remember seeing him doing that and i thought he was just doing some joke i didn't know that he was like eddie was legitimately smelling no he's like who has the funkiest bum because he asked me that too what the fuck he just went bumfunk right yeah the bumfunk thing I didn't I thought it was just some joke but yeah

that's weird very interesting but basically my friend Ricky makes just these like Facebook videos and he just blew up out of nowhere

and now he has like a hundred thousand subs so it's so funny seeing this this little Mexican that I know I'm kidding I'm kidding

my friend Ricky it's just so funny watching him blow up and I'm proud of him I it's just so funny watching him blow up and I'm proud of him I think is just Ricky Tafoya T-A-F-O-L-L-A and I was saying he said if he ever wants like if we need someone to do like some Spanish stuff for a video

he would kill the people can he speak Spanish no I mean that's his first language he said he learned English what's his second language that's horse shit he's American he's not American. What's his second language? English. That's horse shit. He's American. He's not American.

He's not an American citizen. He's not a citizen? No. Then why are we talking about him? That's a good point. He's Mexican. His channel, like, I love it because I'm subscribed to him. So I'll see a video pop up.

Do you understand the video? No. Like, I'll just click on it and I'll see my friend. Using context clues, can you guess what's going on? No, I can't. I'll see it and I'll literally just be like, I'll have no idea what's going on because he'll be speaking so fast in Spanish. And I'm trying to figure out what's going on. He'll have like a t-shirt on as a wig.

See his newest video. Okay, here. 1.2 million views. Jesus Christ. I see Saban Los Otakus In La Freaky Plaza And it's just I wanna see It's just him

He's 155,000 He has a beard now Yeah he does have a beard Did he have a beard In the other one No I don't think he did We said Rick and Morty We said Rick and Morty

Goku Finito Oh the Infinity Stones Yes it is No it. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Something about Twitter.

I don't know. I don't know what he said. He said Twitteros again. Cola. He's talking about Coca-Cola. Well, that's about all I can gather from that one. Something about Twitter and Coca-Cola. Yeah.

So I'm sure they're hysterical. He's just doing that. I'm sure they're Hispanic. They are Hispanically hysterical. If you're in the mood for a Hispanically hysterical YouTube channel, check out Ricky Tafoya on YouTube. You should tell him to host a national holiday called

Cinco de Pranco. I am so sad that Cinco de Prancoo. I am so sad that Cinco de Pranko is no longer with us. Maker Studios' best work of Cinco de Pranko. If anyone out there has an archive of Cinco de Pranko, it's gone. We're getting an email from someone that wasn't cool.

I was really proud of Cinco de Pranko. You know, I worked really hard on Cinco de Pranko. We should have worked harder. I'm kidding. Well, I'm not. Re-upload your pranks. I missed Cinco de Pranko. It was Maker Studios, I'm kidding that's well I'm not re-upload your pranks I want to I missed it

go to Pranko it was Maker Studios who made some of the best content on YouTube made uh made that cause I mean he

the man behind the Tard family the Shay Tards um he helped start Maker he was one of the founder founding like people that helped start it.

I still can't get over that family name. Shane Carl? They're all Tards except him. Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm not one of the Tards. You guys are all Tards. No, it's not based on the word. What do you mean it's not based on the word?

I forget if they still call themselves that, though. I'm going to look up the Shay Tards. The Tard family? No, the Shay Tards. Dude, Shay Tards, bro. What were their names again? You know them all. It was...

Okay, hold on, hold on. Wife Tard? Mommy Tard. Okay, how could I forget? Princess Tard. Son Tard. Baby Tard. Rock Tard.

What is Rock Tard? The new baby that took the place of the other baby. That could only be one, yeah. But what about when the baby grows up? Is it still Babytard? Yeah, she still was Babytard. Oh, poor thing. And so this guy's, this other son of theirs is just Rocktard.

We could shorten it. I'll be Mattard and you'll be Rytard. I'm going to look up just the words Rocktard, all one word, Rocktard. Sounds like an inappropriate Pokemon. Best moments Rytard. I'm going to look up just the words rock, all one word, rocktard. Sounds like an inappropriate post-moments rocktard. Your whole life for the world to see, little buddy. You had no choice, baby.

I can't wait to pump a few kids out so I can just film them make millions off of it. That's great. Without their permission. I'm sure they loved it. They loved the attention. And I'm never going to put a single sin of that into a savings account. I'm sure they can conceive of the thought of millions of people watching. It's great. Without their permission. I'm sure they loved it. They love the attention. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm never going to put a, I'm sure they can conceive of the thought of millions of people watching what they're doing to them. What they think is probably like a nice fun time with dad and mom and

siblings is being monetized and broadcasted to the world. And I actually want to know, like, see if they know that they'd, they'd want to cut. You know, you say, Oh,

they provide the cut by, but no, that baby needs its own account.tard needs its own bank account and he needs to be having those rocktard bucks be put in his account i those baracktard bucks come on what baracktard i simply just added one more syllable it rhymes with it yeah do you, do you think Obama joins the family in their polygamous relationship? With Michelle and Barack. Am I Barack-tard or

Obama-tard? We've joined the Shay-tard family and Michelle-tard and we got Sasha-tard. What's the dog's name? The dog? Yeah, didn't they have the big thing, the White House dog? Is it dead yet? Actually, I have joined,

I have joined the family as well. Trump Tard. Doe Tard. No, no, Donald Trump Tard. Donald Trump Jr. It's the whole name. Eric Tard. He just goes by Eric Tard. And Baron Tard. Monica Tard. Dude, but like, I wonder what that does.

What does that do to a child's mental health? What, being called a Tard. Dude, but like, I wonder what that does. What does that do to a child's mental health? What, being called a Tard? No, well, yes, I'm sure that doesn't help, but growing up, from the moment you're born, just being filmed and monetized. I don't know, when they grow up, we should ask them. Like, what kind of sociological effects does that have on one's... When we're 40-something, we'll interview Rock Tard

when he's 27. So, Rock Tard, tell me about your life. We'll be famous interviewers by then. We'll interview Rocktard when he's 20-something. So, Rocktard, tell me about your life. We'll be famous interviewers by then. We'll have our own TV show. We'll be our own Joe Rogan. We'll be like a Joe Rogan times two. We'll both be bald and ripped. And red.

And shiny. And constant. Dude, I saw a clip recently that made me upset of Joe Rogan. What'd he do he he he was i don't want to talk about it you don't have to talk about it you can keep it inside if you want you tell me after the podcast like giving hand jobs to people in bathrooms why'd that make you mad because he he has a wife and children i didn't't know that. Yeah. That is bad. That's very bad. Goddamn. There's a leaked footage that was on like, I think I saw it on like Reddit or something. He's going to have to deal with that privately.

That should never have been public. Did he think too? Hey, what the fuck? Okay. Okay. That's not true. That's not true. He's going to have us on the Rogan experience one day

So why did you lie about me? Jamie, pull this clip up So yeah, you said these lies about me, that's slander I'm gonna sue you I'm just gonna sue you Jamie, pull up the lawsuit Oh no, it's for like 70 million dollars Jamie, pull up my balls and lick my gooch

Ah, fuck Jamie, pull my balls up Thank you, just keep them there for a while Now Jamie, come over here and stroke my shaft Oh, that's good I wish Joe would just pull his balls up Like on, be like Jamie, pull my balls up, just let them sit for the rest of the podcast

Just never mention them again, but they're just there Looming over the guest As like a masculinity move You know the only way I could have achieved these balls? Using supplements Joe Rogan supplements I think that masculinity move. Like, his balls. You know the only way I could have achieved these balls? Using supplements. Joe Rogan supplements. I think that, uh,

I feel like Joe Rogan's balls look just like Do you want balls like Joe Rogan? Do you want balls like Joe Rogan? Featuring the new Joe Rogan supplements. I bet his balls are smooth, just like his head. I bet his balls just look just like his head. They're just red and smooth and shiny. They look like they're about to explode. There's so much goddamn testosterone in them. They're just red and smooth and shiny. They look like they're about to explode. There's so much

goddamn testosterone in them. They're always like pulsating. It looks like an obvious weak spot on a giant boss in Doom or something. What's the movie where like, is it the new Godzilla where it's like in the egg

and it's like pulsating? It's like that. It's gonna blow! Like, it's going to blow. Oh, man. Well, I think talking about Joe Rogan's nutsacks is a good way to end episode 192 of the podcast. Yeah, 100%. 100%. Check us out on iTunes and Spotify.

We're always there before it's uploaded on YouTube, days ahead. So if you want to listen to it early, feel free to do that or don't whatever you want and check out our sponsors in the description and uh we'll see you guys in the next episode bye Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now

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