supermegashow - EP 197 - Lookin' Back

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

Ryan just turned 26, which leads us down a path of nostalgic conversations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're already 26. By the time this comes out, yes. But while I'm recording it, I'm not 26 yet. Can we get a big ol' happy birthday in the chat for Ryan McGee? Oh my god. Mr. Brand New 26-Year-Old? I don't like that, dude. Why don't you like it?

Why? Dude. It's just 26. No, that's the first step to edging towards 30. Like, I'm past like that, like, I don't know. It's the stupid thing to think about. Isn't 25 the first? I feel like 25 is the first step. No, 25

is kind of like, okay, halfway there. And then 26 is like, okay, now you're heading there, buddy. You're heading the 30. Climbing up that hill. That's crazy. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. At the time of recording this, you're heading there, buddy. You're heading the 30. Climbing up that hill. That's crazy. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. At the time of recording this, you're not 26 yet. I'm still 25.

You can enjoy your youth. I'm still 25. God. Also, 26 just like, it's just when you get to that next half of a decade where you're like, oh. Yeah. Okay. I feel that.

I feel that. Like, think about like 32 is a much different age than 38. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm still enjoying my youth. I can't believe I just said that. That might have been the – I should become a high school teacher. 32 is much different from 38.

With the knowledge I have. That's knowledge, man. That's good. It's wisdom, actually. I asked Harrison this the other day. it's wisdom actually I asked Harrison this the other day and I was like cause he's 27 and I was genuinely

oh shit he is see I always picture him as like 26 I know he seems younger but I was like does 27 feel old and then I realized that came off like really like I was like I didn't mean it like that dude I'm sorry he's like yeah does it feel old

uh he said yeah he said uh 27 sounds that's like a grown-up i know you know well for me 26 is the last one where it sounds like you're still young yeah but 27 then sounds like you're a grown-up i guess i've always i feel like it just changes with your perspective because when I was younger you know I was like 17 is so old oh yeah because you saw facial hair like I saw like basically the way I saw a 17 year old is how I see like a 50 year old man now yeah you know what I mean like I see a 50 year old man I'm like that's that person is aged as a young person I really didn't fathom that much time because that would be a whole lifetime for me. And I'm so young. So I would just look at teenagers and be like, wow, they're older.

They're adults. They think like adults too. But you don't. Dude, in no way when I was 18 or I'd say even 20, did I feel even now, most of the times I feel any semblance of being like an adult. Even now, most of the times I feel any semblance of being like an adult. Part of that is also probably due to the line of work you and I got lucky enough to barge into. Because when I was like 12, I thought about being 16. I was like, oh my God, I'll be able to drive.

I can have a girlfriend. I'll be like old. And now you're about to be a decade older than that. And it feels like, I don't know't know because every birthday i feel like i'm like oh uh man 24 is the one that where it feels old and my next birthday is 25 and i'm gonna be like man 25 see 25 to me right now thinking of myself as 25 i'm like holy shit that's old like i'm like 25 is i'm i'm like a grown-ass man i've been there for a year unfortunately and i felt the same way about 24 because 24 sounded old for a while but now 24 does not feel that old to me 24 feels

like young still it is and every time I think about I was born in 1996 so every time I think about being born in 96 it feels so young compared to other people because I'm like if I tell people I'm born in 96 like when I go to the bank and they ask for my birthday and I'm like, blah, blah, blah, 96, they're like, I feel like I sound so young, such a baby compared to other people.

But when time passes, when you say I was born in the 90s, people would be like, damn, ew. 90s kids, bro. Like when I think of my parents, like born in the 60s, I'm like, whoa. I know. I can't fathom the 60s. That's crazy, dude. Like our parents lived through the Vietnam War and all that stuff. Ew.

Gross. Well, it's also, it's a. The Vietnam War. It's weird that we, we don't really think about this, but isn't it cool that we lived through like the change of the millennium? What's cool about it? I don't know. I just want to cut the conversation. through like the change of the millennium. What's cool about it? I don't know.

I just want to cut the conversation. The year 2000? It's just like, it's just your response. I don't know, it just seems. It's like, it's just cool. I have one memory. Yeah. I have one memory of 1999 that I can for sure date to 1999. And it was like a week. Were you waiting for the

It was a week before 2000. And I was in my front yard with my dad and he was talking to Y2K? Yeah, it was the week right after Christmas. And I was in the front yard and I still remember the sweater I was wearing. And he was talking to my neighbor about Y2K.

Did your dad believe that something was going to happen to all technology? No, probably not. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think my parents believed in Y2K. I think it was probably the situation where it's like, maybe it might happen. How is a one going to change to a two on clocks, on digital clocks?

It's not like they already go from 1am to 2am. That's nonsense. It's funny watching episodes of TV shows that are about Y2K and stuff. The Simpsons. Simpsons, Family Guy is that one. When did Family Guy first air? Was it late 90s? Yeah, Family Guy was in the 90s.

Is that crazy? Did Family Guy come out before or after SpongeBob? SpongeBob came out in 1999. And then Family Guy came out... Hold on. I want to say Family Guy came out before or after SpongeBob? SpongeBob came out in 1999. And then Family Guy came out... Hold on. I want to say Family Guy came out in 98. Who came out first? We'll see. Let's see.

Well, Family Guy in the first or second season... 1999. They came out the same year. Oh shit. Good year for television. How many TV shows come out... Okay, think about this. How many TV shows are going to come out in 2020 that will still be a relevant TV

show two decades from now because think about 1999 we got shows like Spongebob, Family Guy, stuff like that where some of the shows that came out in 1999 are still very relevant today in 2020 I don't see it happening as much because I feel like

it was easier to stick in that culture because you know you had to be dedicated to those things you had to show up at a specific time during during a specific day of the week to catch that little bit of lore uh because i didn't you know it was much later on maybe in high school maybe middle school but i never really fucked around with it or tried it was much later on maybe in high school maybe middle school but i never really fucked around with it or tried it that much what was dvr tivo and all that i didn't really i we i had the guide where i could go and look at channels but i i remember every time i would press record it was like you have to pay this amount if you want to record it was like oh scary i was like dad he's like no no just back out you didn't do anything i'm like whoo

i remember uh my cousins had tivo and they had the guide to like the remote where you could click it and the guide would come up. And I was like, whoa. And it sounded so like. Yeah, dude. TiVo had some good ass sound effects. I will say that. I still remember TiVo sound effects. I just.

Anyways, I feel like that my point might be bullshit, but I do feel like there was a certain not trained, but it was just the way that media was presented that we had to act a certain way. So we had to like make if you wanted to watch something, you had to get dedicate yourself to it. And now you can just binge it. And I feel like things fads move a lot faster quickly because information moves moves quickly and we communicate uh a lot more quickly like more people are doing it it's not just like a select few who not when i say a select few of course this started out as like millions um but compared to what it is today it's massive youtube like i remember youtube at some point like yes it was a big uh video site and it still is but like there was a point where it felt like my parents, I had to tell my parents about YouTube.

Yeah, me too. My parents were very scared of it. Yeah. And to me, it was just looking up videos. It was like, oh, this new thing now that all the funny videos that were on probably three to four different websites. I had to go to like Funny Junk and a bunch of other shit. Dailymotion. Yep.

Because there are all these websites. Stupid Videos is another one where you- Stupid Videos. Yep. And you just had to go to those specific sites. YouTube brought it all here, baby. You can just upload whatever you want. And then people started to make more high-end content,

which you think of Smosh started out as just like singing in a webcam. Like lip-syncing to Pokemon. Yeah. With stupid faces. And they made it into a multi-million dollar like empire. Exactly. It's just crazy how when people begin to commune, fads tend to shift quickly because there's more things shared.

Yeah. And I think that's interesting too because back when YouTube started, you remember like I feel like it was a lot easier you could make the exact same thing that you made on YouTube in 2007 now and you'd get like two views. But back

then, it would blow up because there wasn't that much other content available. Cameras were expensive for a kid. Oh my God. On my birthday, all I wanted was a video camera and I had to save up for so long. I feel like it all changed when the DSLR came out.

Oh yeah. Everyone started to get a DSLR because it was kind of like a, it was like 300 bucks maybe. So it was still expensive, but it was like getting an Xbox. Well, I remember that. I remember I wanted a DSLR.

I wanted the T3i so bad. And that's what all my like filmmaker friends had. And I wanted one so bad, but it was like at the time, I think it was four or 500 for the body and I couldn't afford that. And I saved up forever, but I was like, I can't get this.

It's too much. I just remember when the next one came out, the body price went down. I think I ended up getting my first one when the T4i came out and I ended up getting a T3 or T2i. I got one of the past models because they become cheaper when it comes out. And I'd be like, I'll get the body by itself. And I remember, dude, I remember going on eBay and saving up for lenses. Like I remember my first 50 millimeter lens and I'm like, holy shit, this, this because usually it comes the stock lens is

rather wide and it and you can do a lot with it that 18 to 55 yeah but like when you get that set 50 millimeter I don't know there's that was great and then I got a super wide angle lens which I just remember testing out different lenses

I love lenses experimenting T3 eyes you can get them now for like 170. Yeah. Well, for some websites, some websites have them for like $1,500. What? Don't do that. I don't. I don't.

It sounds like a black magic camera. Yeah. But no, like the I've never used one. I've wanted to. Oh, black magic's awesome. Well, have you used? Did you shoot a music video with Black Magic? What did you shoot the music videos on that you did?

Red. Red Dragon. All of them you shot? No. Bill and Rabs, which hopefully should be out by this podcast. Maybe not. We used a Red Dragon. That was a 6K. Keep an eye out. Subscribe to Lazy Eye just so you can catch the music videos. That was a 6K Red Dragon. It was the Epic.

I think that's what it was called. And that thing was a machine. It was this, it's heavy as fuck. And it has these vents on the side. There's blowout heat because it's so. Yeah, it's doing a lot. The SD cards are, it has its own special type that are like this big. I remember being in high school and researching that because my dream cameras i really wanted to work with a red but you know i'm not i didn't have that much of income my income was 200 something bucks every few weeks

because of food lion yeah same height of uh uh like having a job but uh i oh shit i'm losing it what was i talking you wanted to work with a red oh yeah i wanted to work with a red and i remember specifically that's what led me into looking up black magic because black magic was like we're the cheaper version of of a red we promise and it's and there's there's just something so beautiful about a red camera there were classes it's like the one that's like oh because in see when when uh daniel and i won the best picture for the campus movie fest uh you got to go to California. You had to pay for it at the school. We tried to ask the school, hey, could you pay for a trip?

Because you pay for a lot of other stuff. And they're like, oh, well. I tried to do the exact same thing. I tried to ask the school to pay for it. I'm like, hey, I won campus movie fest. And they want me to come out to LA for the little short film to be screened in a festival. And that's really cool.

I remember where I saw it too. I remember that memory, dude. That was at the Universal City Walk at the AMC Theater. So I saw my movie. I've gone there multiple times living here now to see movies. And I remember it was a movie theater on the right.

It might have been one of the first or second ones on the right. And I remember I got to see my movie on the big screen and then I got to stand down there. And Daniel and I, with a bunch of other filmmakers, did like a short Q&A to other kids who were interested. Fuck, man, I miss going to the movies. I haven't been able to go to the movies in so long. I remember I couldn't go to the Campus Movie Fest LA thing because it was too expensive and the school wouldn't pay for it, but

I went on a tangent, but anyways, go on. I have to get back to Red. I'll get back to the Red. I was just saying with the Campus Movie Fest, luckily, the same month, I got to come out to LA to hang out with you guys. I miss the Campus Movie Fest thing, but it worked out. Well, at the Campus Movie Fest thing, the thing that I was going to talk about is they had a whole workshop kind of advertising the red camera and showing what people are doing with the red camera.

That's every like young filmmaker's like dream is to work with one. And I was what I was blown away by the most was first of all, the quality is like unreal. Yeah, it's stupid. And my my computer, I have a a very very good computer and it can barely process that footage i think um louis on fx louis ck show they did i remember daniel specifically looked into the red one of the reasons was because he really liked louis ck and so did i and this is before all that shit happened daniel you know he luckily did not he didn't see any of that yeah through daniel's existence louis ck remained who he was

up until that happened because daniel wasn't around when louis ck uh did his no-nos good example of ignorance is bliss i guess yeah but uh so he i just I just remember looking at the red camera, looking at the shots in Louis, looking at other people's short films on Vimeo and really want to work with one. What I'm trying to say, Matt, is you and I should rent a camera and shoot something. We should do a video. We got to do something with the red. I want to do that. I've been talking to you about this has been an idea for a while. I want to do that. I've been talking to you about this has been an idea for a while. You and I want to do this kind of I don't want to give it away, but there's a certain episodic sketch thing dealing with a beloved character. Sorry, a beloved historic figure that you and I both cherish. Absolutely. And I would love to do that. Ryan, at least Ryan's portrayal of his spot on um it's martin luther king uh the red i gotta grow my hair out for the role the biggest thing about the red was how quickly the battery dies and how quickly it fills up the sd card because the sd cards were i had 64s and i had 128s and i had to rent those

separately because when you get a red you have to like first of all the the case that i rented it that it came in was like it came in like three massive containers that i had to put on a dolly and then um the sd cards like the 64s would fill up in like five minutes because it was 6k footage so you'd maybe be able to get like two three four shots and then it's full all of a sudden you got to dump it yeah and then for freddy's for f all of a sudden. You got to dump it. Yeah. And then for Freddy's video that got to go, that one, we used a red, but we downgraded to the 4K red because, or the 4.6K because after doing the 6K one, we were like. You're uploading it to YouTube. Yeah.

It's like, we don't need for this. We don't need a 6K camera. Yeah. And the 4.6 one is smaller. So it was easier to, we had to rent a separate ronin though like the one that we have the stabilizer separate lenses or does it so uh it depends on who you rent it from some come with different lenses or you can rent like a better one but uh we rented a the big ronin stabilizer and that thing killed my back but what sucks about

what's hard is you know you have to hold the stabilizer and hold the killed my back but what sucks about what's hard is you know you have to hold the stabilizer and hold the camera and the camera's so heavy but you also have to be focusing the lens so it's like so hard it fucking i was sore for like three days after using it the biggest cameras i've worked with was when uh we worked with mark because i remember, Jesus, if there was a camera, C300, he would he would pick it up because there he and we all in the in the household are very passionate about just shooting whatever. I mean, evidence, of course, of that would be a lot of the cringy little sketches we ended up. Yeah. lot of the cringy little sketches we ended up doing yeah um but i just remembered like there were tucker came over one time and it was just an astonishment at just like damn you really have every camera i want to work with right now we use the the main one we use was the c300 right yes

and then there was the it was something the other ones there are ones. There was like three, I think, big deal cameras that were epic. Very epic. Grumps had a C300 too. And I know for Power Hour, what Tucker used to use was a C300 for the stationary shot. And then for the other shot, he would just use his Sony A7S. And I have, personally, the cameras I have is I have a Sony A6500, which I love that the Sony Alpha

series is awesome. But my new favorite camera is the Panasonic GH5 and we have some of those at the office. I've been looking to get a camera and I was going to ask you what specific camera you, because I've been out of like the researching cameras game since like college so

have i i know carson's like i guess syndigo era stuff carson is the only reason i got back into it was because carson's so obsessed with cameras and i was like oh but what's what's i remember like messing with all the settings like looking up lenses and stuff i loved it i did i uh i don't know if you did this but back when i did have a dslr you could get this thing called sina something but it was to make the image flat so whatever color correcting you could do you could have more information to work with yeah it's like it's like a color profile where you download it onto the i remember being so scared to fuck up my camera yeah because i was reading this fucked up my camera, it doesn't work anymore.

I'm like, am I going to download a virus onto my camera? But no, it worked fine. I loved it. You know what you should do? You should take

one of the GH5s home. Do we have a few? We have three. Yeah. Take one home and fuck with it. It's really fun. I just want to film some shit.

Go home and just like film shit in your backyard or fuck around. Make some Twitter videos. film lego film lego that's right it has been i can't remember the last time i tweeted um dude make some twitter videos i should man go get the gh5 take a tripod home we have three when was the last time i hold on gh5s is what i recommend though because they're just about the misfits podcast on the april 29th is the last time i tweeted but the gh5 is awesome it's it's been considered the best filmmaking camera on the market lens that it comes with is that fine to work with or would you okay the lens we have it what's amazing about the gh5

is the stabilization when i walk with it it looks like it's on a stabilizer okay it's that good and then the lens has incredible i really like the autofocus it has great continuous autofocus um and you can really get in depth with the uh settings and like the color profiles and stuff what uh what's the this sounds so stupid what's the f-stop on the lens by the way the one that we have yeah um i don't it's not super low but i think it goes up to you know i can fucking get it right now look because sometimes my i don't know i bought a new lens for it with my money i got the camera all right this is uh I only asked because there was a stage back in maybe early college or between

high school and college where I was, when I was doing the lens stuff, I was really into kind of getting low light lenses and filming stuff more at like a, a dusk time of day. Cause usually you'd get a lot of disgusting noise. Yeah. If you didn't have a good uh lens that could uh handle

that couldn't handle low light sorry i'm staring at this camera it's pretty this is a 12 to 60 mil uh actually i'm not sure what the f-stop goes to let me hold it yeah i got it back i accidentally have i have the ronin plate on the bottom of that the ronin how dare you sorry bro that's a fucking awesome camera though um is it out of battery it does 4k 60 too is it out of battery uh i don't think it's a battery in it oh okay or it is just out of battery no battery um it's it's fucking awesome though. I can't recommend it enough. Feels solid. Ad re-break. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well.

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That's a N G I.com. Introducing Tim's new savory pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go. Like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. I got a prime lens for it recently for shooting some stuff at home.

And I got a... I want to get a macro lens soon. for it recently for shooting some stuff at home. I want to get a macro lens soon. I wish you had the macro lens for the ladies. I know. The praying mantises, which update guys. Bugs do as bugs do. Yeah, they passed away.

Somehow all at the same time. And what I'm wondering is if they died from... So, basically, I got a bunch of bugs to feed them. And I got, like, millipedes and stuff that I had found myself. Because they just needed bugs. and as they were getting bigger the smaller bugs weren't doing it anymore because they needed bigger you know things to eat so I went outside for an hour

and I got a ton of like millipedes did you watch them like eat the millipedes and stuff? yeah yeah yeah and then they all died shortly after so I'm kind of like uh oh did I kill them? I feel like you know what their diet is well online said like any bugs.

Online was like just anything that moves bugs. So I don't know. I feel like it's just a simple case of the sometimes you buy a few fish and have to expect one of them to be belly up by the end of the first day. That's the thing is like I took good care of him. But at the same time, bugs are not easy to keep alive. And also. They're our fish. took good care of him but at the same time my bugs are are not easy to keep alive and also uh there are fish they're not in the they weren't in the best climate because these these specific types of bugs require like strong humidity strong heat and what i would do is is every day i'd put

them in uh the bathroom and turn the shower on multiple you you also have multiple people that take showers throughout the day and they're usually when I was over, they were either in like on top of the shower. So it would be like the top of the room or the humidity gathers or they would be kind of where you would feed them, which is like the windowsill. Yeah, the window in the kitchen. But yeah, you kept them mostly in a humid environment. You couldn't leave the shower running all the time. Yeah, but I bet I'm sad that they passed uh but they all passed at the same time so i i wonder what could have caused that maybe they got maybe i don't know it could have even been like bringing in bugs from

outside could have introduced them to like a disease little bug disease killed them or something bug covid 19 r.i.p the ladies uh cars Carson and I did scan them with his high quality scanner. He said they look really cool. They're beautiful. So like where are they? I have them. Oh they're on Carson's computer but I have a little. I have them all still. I'm going to go bury them soon. Dig a little grave. Make a little

tiny caskets out of little matchboxes. Bury them. Have a little service for them. A little memorial. Oh I wanted to go back. Get into like building miniature sets. little match boxes, bury them, have a little service for them, a little memorial. Oh, I wanted to go back. You should get into like building miniature sets, like build like a little miniature graveyard in your backyard for the ladies. Little miniature grave.

You could, that could get you into model planes and ships and bottles. I told you, we talked about this in the last podcast and I wanted to get into it, but I, I forgot. And I'm now remembering it. My dream,

my dream, dream, dream for when I'm old and retired is to have a basement that I can build a big train set, a big train set, like a big model town. And like the type where it's elevated. The type that was in store little. Yeah, exactly. And like, there's the whole train set with rivers. And like, there's, and I want to build like a whole world with like a story and stuff.

Just go down there and play around. Cause when i was a kid i loved playing with trains and doing that so now it's like when i'm an adult i can do it even better you should then get a pet mouse and make a little red pet like mouse shirt and name them stort little and then let them run around on the train set i like that i like that he'd shit on everything. Yes. Let me go back real quick to, we were talking about TV shows released in 1999. Way back. Like, but I didn't realize how many big shows came out in 1999 that we still have.

Like what? Are still popular. Sopranos, Law and Order, Family Guy. Sopranos isn't around anymore. Well, I mean like ones that are still big. Sopranos, Law and Order and order family guy spongebob freaks and geeks futurama futurama was 99 too futurama is a great show and even 98 that 70s show will and grace sex in the city dawson's creek king of queens cowboy bebop no that 70s

show premiered in 99 98 okay for some reason i i thought that show would have premiered more when i was i thought 2000s i didn't know it actually came out in the 90s no i definitely like picture i honestly thought it was gonna be early 90s for some reason that's everybody show yeah i never really watched it that much it was it was always when it was like big it was always too mature for me i guess so i didn't and then when you were old enough it was too corny for you know what i mean it's that like balance where if you don't if it then, you know, at a certain point, you'll mature past it. I'm sure many of you have seen my hysterical satire of that 70s show on Format 24, that

90s show. Very, very good. Very funny video. Does the camera go, yep. Hey, dude. And then we filmed in my mom's car sitting in the garage the theme song and then um i remember we went to the grocery store and asked this like stoner employee if he could just say one line for the camera and he did and it's like blurry and like when you watch

it you can just tell it's just some dude we asked to say one line that has no idea what's going on we just asked him to say no and shake his he's like no and then i make i make the context what was he saying no to well uh i believe the context of the video was uh i'm barely in it's my two other friends i filmed and and they one of them kills the other one's fish so then he goes to the grocery store to ask if uh if they have any fish and that's when the guy says no and then he goes to the grocery store to ask if uh if they have any fish and that's when the guy says no and then he goes outside and gets hit by a car and that was the end of the video oh shit you know when you were younger making videos like you didn't think of the how it's gonna end you just were like these are events that happen yeah just events and then it's like

uh i guess we could end it uh just get hit by a car and then it goes black it's like, ah, I guess we could end it. Just get hit by a car. And then it goes black. It's like, there was one short film. I remember when I was in maybe elementary school. I don't think it was middle school. It was probably like late elementary school, fourth or fifth grade. I actually, I can't find it for the life of me. I've tried the search for it, but it's this 45 minute long edited cut movie that my cousin Connor and I made where the whole premise is we're trying to hunt for Bigfoot. And Oh yeah.

You told me about this. Yeah. And we, we ended up going to Bill Gates's house for some reason in the movie and finding out that pedophile ring. No, we found out that Bill Gates had a,

had a daughter who he thought was a son. And, uh, and then we left and we went to go find Bigfoot and then we accidentally burnt the forest down and that's how it ends. Damn. Okay. With us killing Bigfoot.

I like that. i wish dude i i want to i want to see this i really want to see this if i can find it i remember having fire effect i've read the underwater pyramid yeah so you know you're in for the same level of creativity and well that shit was very creative i had i tried to make a full-length movie when i was a kid and i spent a very long time on it with some friends and I filmed it pretty out, like the scenes pretty out of order and there was no overarching plot for it. In our heads there was, but like when you, when you think about it, there really wasn't. And I think I got like 25 minutes into it. Uh, but it really just made no sense.

It was my, my friend finds like a wishing stone and, uh, goes back in time and then goes forward in time and then joins the army. And I played an Iraqi civilian. So that was real fun. That's the thing that I love about, I guess, like nostalgic filmmaking when I think of like when i was younger and making uh little short films is that even when you read the book i the book i wrote uh for in elementary school there's that constant theme of and then and then and then and then and then and not like this happens so this happens because this happens so this happens it's just and then

and then we go to bill gates's house and then we we, we find out he has a son and then we leave. And then we go find Bigfoot in the forest and then the forest burns down. Cause you didn't really know how to tell a story. I just, it's just so when you see, you can still see videos made like that today. If you really dig down deep on YouTube is, but it is, it is a treasure to find a video of like a kid making a short film and you, it's kind of cringe, but that cringe is nostalgic. If that makes sense. Oh yeah. Yeah. Super nostalgic. Like there's a, that's weird to say there's a nostalgia in the cringe in like that unaware. I think it's cause you're looking back at when you were like that, you know? Um, cause, cause like sometimes i'll stumble upon youtube videos of people that are

uh trying to make like a comedy sketch and obviously it misses the mark completely but you know that like to them and their friends it's hysterical yeah and it's like it's pure in that aspect where it's like they're gonna look back and remember that and love it uh aspect where it's like they're gonna look back and remember that and love it uh just like how i look back at my fucking old channels and and i cringe my ass off when i watch them and luckily they're still there for everyone to enjoy in 2020 i i kind of wish i had that same curse i kind of want to go back and because i uploaded a lot of shit onto google videos i did too i that's where i started but then i quick quickly switched over to YouTube and I wish I could get back onto that channel they didn't change the videos over they

took down when Google got YouTube or whatever they deleted all of Google videos videos so I wish I could see them I was really into claymation like that was like my big thing at the time and I had some claymation videos on there and my very first video pivot stick figure

like doing all that because you could actually uh basically because in pivot you can change the background color just change it to green and i could do like a real life me and my cartoon stick man friend you know it was just so much fun i miss dueling with lightsabers and putting little flashes in with guns and being like, whoa, I'm a secret agent. Why don't we just revert back to that? I mean, we're just a bigger form of that. No, but just take our channel with 800,000 subs now and just upload that kind of shit. Like a 20 second clip of us dueling with lightsabers.

Like Ryan versus Dorkman type of shit. You like fighting like a pivot stick figure animation? You remember Ryan versus Dorkman, right? No. What? What's Ryan versus Dorkman? No, come on. I've never seen Ryan versus Dorkman.

You've never fucking seen Ryan versus Dorkman? That sounds sick. Dude, stop with the Betamail smile. It's been too long. No, my jowls are agape out of surprise, not out of submission. I found a picture recently of Jackson doing the beta male smile just to throw that out there. Well, he does it on a day-to-day basis. Yeah.

Anyway, Ryan vs. Dorkman was a famous lightsaber duel series where it was like fans that were really good at After Effects. Like way back before. This is like before Corridor Digital oh I thought this was you no no no now do you know what it is? no I don't but I was gonna say I thought that you had a series they made Orion vs. Dorkman 2 I've never heard of it

I do remember that old YouTube video that blew up where it was like the guy like the little stick figure like in his computer came to life and like started destroying everything and he like fought with like the firefox and like aol guy okay i'm gonna put this information out there and if anyone can find them i don't know their name all i remember is way back in the day there was this comedic duo probably one guy had light hair one guy had dark hair one was taller than the other of course and they weren't like famous or anything

like they're not known today but the first video i found and i've tried to search youtube for this video it was like a mentos video like mentos and coke video where it turned into a lightsaber that's all i remember of that video, where it turned into a lightsaber. That's all I remember of that video, but it led me into kind of getting into them. And I remember they ended up getting really nice cameras and getting like a crew. And they actually like had, I think a web show or they were pitching a show to a certain channel and none of it ended up working, but God damn, if I could ever remember what they were, what, who they were,

because like they did have sets and like they did hire actors and certain later stuff. And it was high quality quote unquote. It was, it was a guy. Okay. It was a guy with dark hair that honestly looked, looks very similar to Matthew Lillard. That's what this guy looks like.

The one of the guys in the duo, but I will never remember their name. And this was back probably early 2000s. Dude. Or like, sorry, late, like when YouTube was first around in like 2000, anywhere between 2007 and 2010, maybe, or 2009. It's like a Mentos and Diet Coke thing

turning into a lightsaber. It's the most 2007 YouTube video. But a lot of people did that idea. So when I go back and I don't think they titled the video Mentos versus lightsaber because I think the lightsaber was the surprise or the gag in the video. So it was just a regular. I think they were dressed up as maybe scientists or something. We're going to figure out what happens. Wait.

Is that. happens wait is that uh let me let me tell you i might know what you're talking about because weezer made a music video uh back when i was in middle school for their song pork and beans which the whole premise of the music video was old internet video old internet videos and there's one where they're all dressed up as scientists uh hold on let me skip a little bit wait wait wait is that it at all like is it based on that I don't I don't know maybe I thought I just remember them putting a Mentos in the coke and then a lightsaber

thing comes out I think I used to love there's a couple channels I used to love I just looked it up Waverly Films was one I used to love I thought they were so funny and then there was these okay they were not big but it was these it was these two kids that were my age at the time. And I wish I could get in contact with them now because they were like such a big inspiration to me. They called themselves like Mash Brothers, I think. And they had like a thousand subs.

Mash Brothers? Yeah. And the kid's name was Adam. That's all I remember. And we talked sometimes. And I wish that I could get in touch with them now because I love their videos And I wish I could go back and watch them, but I can't find them So if anyone knows who those guys are I remember they had a video

where He like There's an ABBA song in it, and I remember they were both Part of this other channel called the animation empire where they would like make animated shorts and they would get featured on there and i had one that got featured on that channel so i wonder if like that's a starting point this i remember this adam kid i looked up to him i thought he was cool made good short films but he was super small like a thousand subs so he was like my dream it's one of the problems with early youtube channels too is like the weird names yeah you give them that it's like this this sketch duo or whatever that i'm thinking of

they had a name but it wasn't like smosh you know it had to been probably some i i wouldn't even be able to guess it was probably three separate words that were random and sounded funny or something yep i'm so sad because i remember trying to look it up. I tried to look it up all the time. And I remember these two. If I saw a video with them in it, I would be like, that's them. But I don't know who it is.

Uh, I recently went back through, uh, I found like a playlist of all of my old favorites, um, from format 24. The most recent favorite was Bed Intruder's song.

He's climbing your windows, he's snatching your people up. The rap of my life by thecomputernerd01, who I loved when I was younger. Remember that guy? Wasn't he in the same vein of Shane Dawson-y type? Yeah. To me, he was very much more edgy.

Yeah. Even though Shane has his past, this guy seems less, there was less production behind the stuff that he did in the beginning. Yeah, it's like in his backyard. No, no. I'm thinking of Make Me Mad something. They were friends. Make Me Bad 35.

Make Me Bad is who I'm talking about. What did Computer Nerd look like? They were friends. They were the same. They did videos together. This is Computer Nerd. They look very, hold on. Wait.

Yes, okay, him. I do remember him, but I was more of a fan of Make Me Bad. Yeah, I like. Does he still do stuff? Uh uh-huh does yeah he has short hair now he's a very handsome dude i used to watch you whatever your fucking name is i made a lot i like a lot of fruity loops beats never give up beat rap beat uh some smosh videos uh y'all okay i just gotta say his name's damien yeah oh look at him that's so weird I remember when everyone had

coconut haircuts and he I had a coconut haircut yeah I did too and so did he back in the day I wanna point out that I was ahead of the curve on being cool with music I have an Apex Twin song in my likes from when I was in middle school so that's pretty cool

you know what vibe Damien gives me looking at him more? What? He kind of gives me like a one of the cooler older kids in a youth group vibe. I'm looking at photos of him.

Dude, that was me for a while. I was one of the cooler older kids in a youth group. I have songs from Over the Hedge, Rock in the Suburbs in my likes. Funny Cats, that's a video. Spoon Man by Soundgarden. Hillary Clinton farts. Dude, look at this. I have this in my likes from middle school. Hillary Clinton farts.

Your opponents are saying that that's really part of a larger pattern with you. That you often avoid taking first impressions on controversial issues. Did she fart? Wait. Did she fart? It's fake, but it's great. Come on, come on. It's not fake. No, you should have said it was real.

Oh, Fred. Here's Fred. Here's the Fred era. Hey, it's Fred. You and I always discuss how we were jealous that he had Fred shirts. Yep. And now here we are with super mega shirts now it's Lucas Lucas something

Crookshank and I know that because I used to have dreams I was hanging out with Fred I used to have dreams that I would meet Ian and Anthony and I was like I'd wake up like oh I think one of the Fred videos I remember laughing hysterically to when I was like I'd wake up like oh I think one of the one of the Fred videos I remember laughing hysterically to when I was younger was the there was one particular one about his meds

or something it was one of the early his meds yeah Fred loses it loses his meds that's one of the classics screaming dude oh my god he was popping off not on pills my friends showed me Fred uh and I remember I remember Fred goes, one of his most popular ones, or Fred goes to the pool. I saw the night it came out at my friend's house because we were super into Fred. And he's like, yo, there's a new Fred video tonight. Dude, I want to talk more about early YouTube. But the ad genie's back. Only got small amounts of time

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Well, that are not really small. I think MakeMeBad35 still has like 60-something thousand followers on Twitter. That could have been also. Popularity just changes a lot, it seems. The size and number, yeah. It's crazy to see people. popularity just changes a lot it seems the size and number it's crazy to see people i think the one person i'm astonished by because it seems like they have stuck to their like true essence like their brand has managed to be the same throughout is jenna marbles i've never watched

jenna marbles once i've i've watched her a few times i don't know what she even does but like i i i out of curiosity have popped in every now and then through the many but it seems like she still keeps like that just general vibe it's just general vibe i know it's it's it's uh it's something where i bring it up because like you you notice shane dawson there's they're not just phases because everyone has phases but there are huge tonal shifts in his content in the types of content he made I mean look at the shift even in our own content you and I started making sketch comedy and we don't really do it that much anymore you know we're doing this like new form right Right. Right. Podcasting. That's plain. Which we want to still,

we've all, we always say we want to get back into it. And I, and I really do. It's just, it honestly is harder than ever right now. Yeah. Whether it's because of the lack of motivation due to what's going on right now. I don't know.

There's just a lot to, to say about. My fucking Smosh would make a sketch every week. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, looking back and I think that they would agree. I,

I, I do feel like there came a lack of not thought. Cause when you look at all their past sketches, they are sketch. They're like smosh is known for its own brand of comedy we all we all know it as a you know the pink frosted strawberry donut versus versus corn dog whatever you know it's that and it's it's my damn neighbor stole my flamingo and you know it's that that's what shut neighbor stole my flamingo. And you know, it's that, that's what.

Shut up. It was, I think I, I personally started, I like, I was still into it at this point, but I started to fall off of Smosh with like teleporting, teleporting, teleporting fat guy. Yeah. That's when I was, that's when my decline started. And then, of course, the full decline of my interest was like, I think just not when Anthony left, but when it started to be more sitcom-y. It's when I started just to get older, I think. And then like you have a specific memory of this duo of two guys and how it made you feel then. And then for whatever reason, it's not doing the same for you anymore, whether you've gotten older or they've changed.

Uh, and I don't hold them accountable for it. No. Yeah. So then it's like, you just kind of move on from it. Um, I've actually been thinking about making a subreddit where I'm going to bitch about it.

Uh, come on. I don't want to, I don't want to, no, no, you're inciting violence. No,

I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't want to fucking read shit. I mean, good for Ian, you're inciting violence. No, I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't want to fucking read shit. I mean, good for Ian. Like, even after Anthony left, it is cool to see how much he's been able to, like, still do with it. With all the different channels. And there's a cast now.

I'm not taking any of that away by saying, like, I personally. Oh, yeah. Ended up shifting to new. I stopped watching Fred. I stopped watching Shane Dawson when I was younger. It's like, you just, your tastes change over time.

And I think, you know, there's always going to be that core audience because the, it's this weird thing where your core audience never ages. If that makes sense. They age with you. Like there, there are people in the comments and I read them and it's so cool to where your core audience never ages if that makes sense with you like there are people in the comments and i read them it's so cool to see it's like i started watching you when i uh graduated high school i'm like holy and now i'm in college i'm like that's such a different period in life when they started when you think about like when i think about where i

was in high school and then that shift to being a sophomore in college it was a big kind of mental bridge I've seen people say they started watching us in middle school now they're in college and I'm like Jesus Christ oh because some people were around eighth grade for kids with problems or syndigo and stuff yeah and that always blows my mind that that blows a load right in my face yeah it does it's crazy because i can connect like there's i'm getting all sappy but when i bro it's just when you can relate to people and i feel like a lot of the times that's lost in social media like truly relating to like someone um legitimately and not through a wall of humor or anything like that like there's just pure just kind of like connection yeah and it's just a nice feeling when you when you when you

get a little that and you in your heart my brother we get a lot of emails um and i know i know we're really bad about responding to emails uh from you guys. The main reason is because our email is so flooded with spam, not from you guys, but just in general. And also, a lot of people sign our email up for porn sites and mailing lists. Our email is loaded with shit.

If you ever send us a really nice email, know that we do read those. We just don't always respond because it is hard to respond to everything uh but you get like there's some just i i've i've read certain emails before and like letters in in the po box oh we keep the letters because it's here to my eyes yeah because it's so like fuck man that's so fucking nice it's it's it's just a part of that where part of the reason it makes me feel like that way is, as I was saying, is I can nostalgically connect with that person's point of view. I remember looking up to people and being, and I hate to say this about myself because I don't see it, but it's interesting to see other people say, at least say that they see it of us.

it's interesting to see other people say say at least at least say that they see it of us where um you know that we in in some ways inspire them and that is also like a big take it's like how i i don't want to be you know in charge of inspiring people you know yeah i don't want to be a role model that's that's not why i got into I don't want, I don't want to be a leader or someone who inspires, but like there's, it does feel good. It's cause I just like, I like to make the content and I like to just do what we do. Yeah. Sometimes it's, it gets lost where I'll read a majority of negative comments, um, on YouTube, on Twitter, Reddit on twitter reddit anywhere any social media platform and they'll get to me and it puts me in like a spiral of just kind of like not wanting to connect mentally with the mindset of like a fan or someone right an audience member or to say more respectfully but but it i it is important to

recognize like the admiration that we receive and the time people spend watching our content and uh you know giving us whether it's their their attention just just simply by watching the videos or by, but like just the idea that people continuously will just give us a part of their day. I know. And I think you and I both have pretty bad imposter syndrome where it's like, why do we have, like, why do people watch us? Like, I don't understand it. Because I'll look around at all these other people on YouTube.

I'm like, hey, I get it for them. But like for us, I don't necessarily get it. I'm just the same person in a different social environment. Like I'm the, I feel like the same person that was like at a party, just kind of standing there at USC. You remember, you know,

that feeling of just standing there at a college party. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like I can, I remember that. that and i that that's me but now for some reason out of out of you know work on my part yes but a lot of it is luck and due to that you know now i'm sitting in this you know office that we're able to have because of it. Yeah. And it's crazy. It's, it's weird. It's, it's, it's just like, oh shit,

this stuff just doesn't happen. Like, it's not just like, oh, I made a, I made a video and now I can, now I can buy an office to where we can do that for a living. Well, it feels even, it feels really weird for me too, because both have uh we both got here uh from different branching paths that merge together and uh it's wild it's just wild to think about that i was in college and you were in college and then we both dropped out to work with this big youtuber and then did our own thing and worked with other big YouTubers and we lost a friend and just like the whole journey has been wild. Uh, and so, and what I actually did the other night, this is, I have never done this before. I was laying in bed and, uh, I was thinking back to high school

and basically I was like, I want to try this, uh, see how much I remember. So I, it took me about 35 minutes straight, but I laid in bed and I started from an average day. Uh, I, I think I chose like a, like a Thursday in my senior year of high school. And I woke up in my, in my mind, I woke up and I did everything that I would see how much you could just do. Yeah. Uh, as if like I was actually there and doing it and i woke up i took a shower went downstairs got breakfast you know got in my car pool uh to go get on the school bus uh and then i came home and i you know i did the whole school day like the class is in order that i remember um and then i remember you're obviously not laying in bed for like an hour and

a half in science class no no no no it took me like 35 minutes but uh then i got home and i got dressed and i went to work and i remember uh how my work was before it was remodeled and like the people that i used to work with and then like closing up that night and then going home and getting on my computer for a bit and going to bed to repeat it and i remember after i had my eye like 35 minutes and going through this whole thing and being able to remember all of it. I opened my eyes and I was in my room now and I looked around and I was like, whoa, no, it, it, it hit me. I was like, it's like, it's the sinking pit in your heart where you're just, for me, it's like this weird, just kind of like you, it's not fear.

I don't know what to call it. I don't think it's, I don't think it's sinking. I think it's more of just it takes my breath away I know that I feel light in the chest when you see the Grand Canyon it's astonishing like when you see

when you're a kid and you see a huge cruise ship in person for the first time exactly I think it's just a big grandeur like whoa now this is life compared to that and it did make me appreciate not having to do schoolwork after a shower sometimes i'll just get out and just look in the mirror and like the you know that that video is probably the interview that i did when i was

like a senior in high school when i can i'm still you know that's me you know to other people it's like that's just a different stage of Ryan. That's me. So when I'm looking at it, yeah, that's, yeah, I just, I can see just how much I've aged and not only just physically, but like just the way I look at myself. Yeah. Like the way you look at yourself is different. The way you look at the world, I guess could be different, but you're still just that i can't break out of it i i can't break out of the like i can't just be

like i can't turn i guess it's weird because it's it's fear in myself and like turning myself like my name into a brand i guess yeah it's like fear of losing yourself yeah and i don't think that'll ever happen for you though yeah because you the fact that you're afraid of that, I think says a lot. It's fucking flies, dude. There's still flies flying around. But the fact, I think the fact that like you're even aware, because the people that happens to, they're not scared of that. You know, like the people that end up just becoming a brand and lose themselves, like that, those people were never scared of that happening.

Well, part of the weird thing is you can read comments, right? And this is going back to like why it's important also for creators to, it will not be, I don't even have an answer for that. And do you, is it important for creators to respond to comments or read the comments? Like, is that just a part of their job to keep track of that? I think it depends on what if it causes a mental strain is like, then you could be like, well, you know, your boss yelling at you at food line is mental strain. No, I would argue that. And your, and your, and your job can't be, you know, just a dessert every time. Like what, like I struggle with that because I'm like oh shit do i have like should i be more that's how i felt i thought that i i thought that

like it was like my duty to read the comments and to read what people were saying on reddit and stuff um i i think like it's good to check in on the comments and respond sometimes. But I think that also it depends on like what it does to you. Like if you enjoy reading the comments, then that's one thing. But I think like if it gets to the point where like it ruins your day and reading the comments, you do it out of more out of a compulsion than doing it because that's what happened to me personally. My biggest stage was when I worked for Grumps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's so much criticism and you want, I think there's this human nature side of it where it's like, oh, people are saying things about me on the internet. I want to see what they're saying. You know, it's like, you see people whispering about things. It's gossip. It's like, for instance, if all of a sudden it's I told you, it's like you like you see people with bad things. It's gossip. It's like it's like, for instance, if all of a sudden it's I told you is like, oh, Jackson told me he liked your outfit the other day.

Jackson told me something pretty cool the other day about you. And he's like, oh, what? What did Jackson say about me? You know, that's that's that, you know, that feels nice. But if you hear me say Jackson said something pretty shitty about you the other day like that'll just stop you in your tracks and I'm gonna want to know what he said yeah your heart's gonna just

if you see a group of people whispering about you you're gonna want to know what they're saying exactly you know it's just that's just what it is it's human nature man and I think the hardest thing about this job is like realizing that it's always going to happen and you have to kind of like learn to not pay it's a part of the

environment yeah it's a part of the online environment like no one like even though for us at grumps it seemed to be magnified because of the certain communities that existed and sometimes went out, you know, just the also them having a larger population. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. An audience. It's just I think we just have in a weird way as content creators, we just have to accept the negativity. And I don't want to say that that means we should allow negativity to happen.

It'll happen whether we want it to or not. As long as there's anonymity, if I said that correctly. You did. The difference is it's not whether you allow it to happen or not. It's whether you allow it to affect your mental state. Because it's always going to exist. Yeah, it's always. Here's the thing.

Whether you and I read the comments or read Reddit or read 4chan or anything like that, those posts, those negative comments, they will still be there. Whether I see it or not does not affect if it will be there. does not affect if it'll be there however for my day to be going well if i see that stuff it will make my day not be going well and it will affect me and then also it'll tilt your work day too yes and the next time i'm going to actually record something that stuff's gonna be on my mind so i'm gonna be acting differently i'm going to be uh not just playing myself i'm gonna be more self-conscious when it gets to that point we i think what we've always done is usually call it out in a sense or we try yeah but try to we try to um incorporate it in the content because it's just like well i mean it's there there's nothing we can do about it which i like i do like doing but uh i did see some people saying that like, uh, the only, uh, what they don't like about that is all of the people that genuinely support us that don't comment that,

that do comment nice things. And then they're like, well, you guys just focus on the, uh, the few small people that are loud about being negative, which I, I do get.

Yeah. Because I guess it, you know, is kind of annoying. Yeah. But, uh, I don't. Because I guess it, you know, is kind of annoying. Yeah. But I don't know. I'm trying,

I'm trying to distance myself more from, from the comments and, and just online because I got to a point for me personally, where I would check it 20 times a day before bed. And it, I realized I was doing it. It was like a habit, like wake up first thing I'd go through comments first thing. And that's a horrible way to start my day.

It's like you, you remember being addicted to nicotine, right? Yeah. That kind of like, it's like that. It's an addiction. I need to, I need to check this. There's like this with any addiction. I feel like there's a light sense of anxiety, right? Yeah.

I would get anxious if I wasn't checking the comments. The only way to solve it is to get the fix. Cause it would be for me to update. It's like, Oh, if I, if I don't see everything that's going on, if I'm not reading the comments, I'd get anxious. And it's like, oh, the way to fix that is read the comments. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. But then 20 minutes later, I'm like, oh, I got to check the comments again. And at the end of the day, it's a part of the community.

And that's never going to change. And I think it's just, I'm trying to talk myself into this mindset as we speak, even that it's important not to let it weigh or have it any more, have any more weight than positive comments or even neutral comments. They're all comments. All comments are made by people who have, you know, given you their time, positive or negative. They're going to be there regardless. And if I come across one, I just need to try to get in the mindset of like, that's just another bad comment. I'm going to see more and there's

nothing I can do about it right now. Yeah. I had a really big talk with Harrison and Carson last Friday. Cause I was, I was super stressed out about comments and stuff. And I was driving and I was talking about this and they they they made me feel pretty good because they were telling me they were like you can't let that stuff affect what you were doing you know otherwise i mean like with trolls and stuff that's what they want you know and if you let them like uh look at chris chan well like i feel like i can i can see a i guess spot like someone who's trying to trying to obviously evoke a reaction yeah but then again like we also have that fan base where because we do it to them they'll say stuff to just get a rise out of us maybe

you know what i mean yeah yeah i do but it's um so it's like i could see that yeah like i'm we're some we're sometimes playing into that here's the thing to an extent for resident evil as an example uh resident evil 3 yeah not two not two three going into a recording to add the masturbation joke matt fuck you're right but going into a recording session. You had the masturbation joke, Matt. Fuck, you're right. But going into a recording session, like, imagine going into, like, our next recording session and never reading one comment.

You know, I feel like we'd be a lot happier and we'd play the game a lot. But then a part of me is, would we be more ignorant and then people would hate the series

even more than if we bitched and bitched about it and at least corrected it. Those are all what-ifs. No, I know. But I'm saying those are the what ifs that go through my mind when like I get that anxious feeling when I see like the, the negative shit. One thing that, uh, when I was in therapy, I thought was fascinating was I would say

stuff like that. And my therapist would always be like, there's more what ifs you're throwing out. Those are all what ifs. Yeah. There's always going to be what ifs always, no matter like what angle you choose. So it's like, oh, I can read the negative comments. And then, you know, my mind will be focused on that while I'm recording. And there's still what ifs there.

And even if I don't read it, then there's going to be other what ifs that seem just as bad. I don't know. You just got to do what works for your mental health. Your brain will not just do rational what ifs. It'll start to just create a stack of them of like the worst case scenarios your brain always goes to worst case scenarios always always it's on high alert that's what anxiety does anxiety always throws you to the worst case scenario because yeah it's like trying to protect you it's trying to make you like prepared for uh the worst

thing to happen so it's like oh i get in one fight with my girlfriend all of a sudden it's like your mind jumps to like oh we're gonna break up we're gonna but it's like worst case scenario all the time yeah that's what i hate about anxiety what will this uh sexual interaction i have with my dad like what what will that like what will that cause onto the family exactly and like it's important just to focus on the beautiful moment I was really hoping you could pull through that one I know I couldn't I'm sorry oh I wish I could I'll tell you for the first second you were saying that though

I thought you were being legit I was like because everything was so seriously no you want to talk about this on the podcast? my dad and I have a purely platonic relationship. There is tension. I told him that. I friend zoned him back in high school.

I know, but there is. You got to admit, you do lead into it. You lead him on. There's a lot of tension. I see the way you rub his leg when you guys are sitting together. I pat his leg. I never rub. No, at that family picnic, I saw you put your hand right there.

At least you cannot put your hand More than halfway up another guy's thigh That was fully in the second half And I saw what you're thinking Well his package wasn't on that side So you were looking I wasn't looking It doesn't matter

Even if my package is on this side Through sound I could hear the sound waves bounce off of the curves You used your son echo location To detect where his penis was in his pants. Yep, it's on the right side. Only this podcast we can go from having some deep personal conversation. People always say that they're like within two minutes they can go from talking about like the most existential or like political stuff to like talking about just shitting their pants and like eating it uh well it's how our stupid brains work man that's why you and i work well as a duo bounces yeah it's like throwing a bouncy ball down a long hallway i know as hard as you can that's what i like like honestly i never take the time to like uh appreciate it but i do

appreciate just our natural chemistry, like as friends. Oh, me too. It's funny because like. It's weird to talk about it so analytically. Yeah, but it's true. It's true. It's funny because, you know, I have so many friends, Ryan. Yeah.

Yeah. No, but the thing is, it's like I have the best chemistry with you than anyone else I know. But I've only met you. I know. You're in my recent history. Right. Were you looking me up? No, but we've only known each other for over five years now. A little bit.

It'll be... Oh, shit. Oh, shit. When was five years? This month. Five years ago is when I first met you. June or May? June.

Okay. I'm sorry. May, May, May, May, May. May. May, May, May. Okay. Yeah. That's when I first came to LA.

Okay. I think it was like May 23rd or something. And you stayed extra long. I did. I extended it. Stayed for like three more weeks? Mm-hmm. My mom wasn't too happy.

She's like, son, are you? I remember just all the the like the anxieties you had about moving out i remember just there was a point you said no i said no you said no i remember that daniel and i legitimately if you could only listen into the conversation fly on the wall dude we were flies on the wall and we were just saying how we were like he's stupid he's so stupid well i was i was because i know i was it was a really emotional decision for me but i can understand why it was hard you know because i was i wasn't really in the same boat i didn't really have too many connections i did have a girlfriend at the time it was it was hard for me to like leave all my friends and my girlfriend

my family and drop out of college after one year when I had this idea for years of what I wanted to do with life. And then all of a sudden this other opportunity comes that would completely change all of that. And I have to leave everyone behind and go out to live with people that I really didn't know. I'd only met for a couple of weeks. So it was stupid for me to say no, absolutely. And I'm so glad that I ended up changing my mind. But like that was. I remember that. I can't.

I still can't believe you. You went. Let me. You said. I think you said yes. And then I did. And then I said yes again. And then I remember.

I think when you said yes again, I was a little harsh. I remember telling Daniel. I'm like, he's just going to go back and say no. He's going to fucking go back and forth. You didn't. You didn't. I remember telling Daniel, I'm like, he's just going to go back and say, no, he's going to fucking go back and forth. You didn't, you didn't. I remember Mark, Mark told me Mark was like,

when I said yes, the second time after saying no, Mark was like, uh, I remember he told me, he's like, that's, that needs to be your final answer,

right? Like you can't, you can't go change that again. I was like, yep, that's it. And it was the best decision I ever made. I think.

Let's move it out here. So far. So far. I mean far to your current knowledge hindsight's 20-20 who knows what the future holds the worst thing I ever did was move out to California the worst thing I ever did was be your friend you fucking fuck

yeah dude I was listening to a song same night that I was looking back at high school I was listening to a song same night that I was looking back at high school I was listening to a song I got a pocket full of such I'm kidding you

I can't imagine you like taking a drive and listening to that who sings that Natasha or whatever her name was dude for some reason that was the only video file

on my family's computer back in the day wait what was the music video for that wait really yeah what was the music

I never saw the music it was like a 144p version of of Pocket Full of Sunshine and in the iTunes library it was the only video

and I think it had been like illegally downloaded from LimeWire by my sister because it the iTunes library, it was the only video. And I think it had been like illegally downloaded from LimeWire by my sister. Because it was so bad. And it was just like... No, that's a different song. Wait. I got a pocket full of sunshine. It was Pocket Full of Sunshine.

Oh, wow. Take me away. I was listening to a song that I was I was very when I was trying to make up my mind what to do I remember I listened to this one song over and over that was a very sad song I was trying to figure out what to do when I was moving

I listened to it the other night and I was like it made me cry just because of the emotions there's certain songs. I will not name the song, you know, exactly. But I will name the artist where like. Every day I'm shuffled. Oh, God.

It's funny because in my head, it's just this pure, just depressing point. I cry. It makes me cry. I'm a joker. It's a sun kill moon. it makes me cry I'm gonna joke it's uh oh Sun Kill Moon because you know yeah

yeah I have a song also that's in the same vein I will only if I listen to them it's one every few years I will like it's hard for me

to just fucking go back and like listen to a some some tracks yeah some meaty tracks it's just too so heavily associated in your brain with something I have a song by Red House Painters that is the same thing for me that I

can't I listen to it maybe once a year once or twice and when I usually cry when I do like a pussy but bitch I know but there's also songs from other relationships I can't listen back to and clean your room Um, but there's also songs, uh, from other relationships. I can't listen back and clean your room.

Uh, there's songs from like past relationships and stuff, friendships that when I hear make me really sad. Um, just cause it's like, Oh, I remember how I felt during that time. And like that, that feeling is now dead. That's like, that's why I specifically do this because you recommended it and i seriously i want to recommend people do this because it's this great feeling if you have spotify or any music app where you can make playlists of songs even youtube even youtube create monthly playlists for songs because i found myself i i've only done it in the past little over a year but i can go back to 2019 like even even uh late probably i think november and december of 2018 and kind of hear this just still getting that emotional

feeling because music connects you with that kind of i love it because i started it january 2018 and i've kept it up so now i can go back uh all the way to like every month so now that it's when this comes out June I'll go back and listen to June 2018 and then July June 2019 and I'll kind of like compare how if Spotify is still around like when I'm 30 like and I still do that

playlist shit like it's gonna really just be like holy fuck I was I was turning 26 and I remember like that kind of time i can go back and look exactly when i was going through a breakup or when i was feeling a certain way about something in my life and i can listen to that music like oh yeah or when i was feeling really high and happy i can find certain songs oh man and i was listening to this song that makes me cry the other night and when the top comment was it's ironic when people who gave it's a quote

it's ironic when people who gave you the best memories end up just becoming a memory. And I just like teared up when I read that. I was like, oh, oh, God. But it's. That is sad, dude. Like, I'm thinking of like exes that I that I have. Tentacion? Yeah.

No. Well, he's a memory too. One particular like my high school sweetheart, so to speak. And we're on friendly terms. We like there's every now and then it's a memory too. One particular, like my high school sweetheart, so to speak. And we're on friendly terms. We like, there's every now and then it's just like a, hey, how are you? Yeah. I'm doing well. I have a dog now.

Oh, cool. Let me see. That's a cute dog. My dog's doing well. And that's it. Yeah. And then months, maybe even like close to a year goes by. And then the same interaction.

It's like, hey, I hope you've been doing well. Yeah. No, I, same thing. goes by and then the same interaction it's like hey i hope you've been doing well yeah no i same thing but i remember like that person that specific person is linked to so many meaningful memories from my at least from my perspective it could have been fucking dog shit from her perspective but at least from my perspective it's just like i'm thinking of like homecoming dance like the sadie hawkins dance i'm thinking of prom i'm thinking of the homecoming dance, like the Sadie Hawkins dance. I'm thinking of prom. I'm thinking of the transition of high school to college and having to travel to Charleston to go visit her because she was in like the dorms near. I can't remember what street it was, which is funny because I didn't even know you at the time, but we were in the same city.

Yeah. But just like there's so many emotions. Yeah. Emotions linked to to that that are still there in your head and your heart but like they don't they're not alive and to bring them back to life which is weird because and it doesn't mean like oh my god my my my love has been reignited for this person it's it's it's just a sweet melanchancholic nostalgia. Somber. Yeah.

Definitely melancholy. I wish there was like a better word for like sad nostalgia. Yeah. Like sad but happy nostalgia. Because I guess nostalgia is sad inherently like by definition, but. It's in a sense tragic because it is. It's remembering better past times. Times that are good that you no longer have. And it's weird because like, for instance, I'm not on bad terms with like exes and stuff.

I don't, I would do the same thing for a while. You know, we touch base every now and then. Not anymore, but sometimes I'll hear a song that reminds me of like a relationship i was in uh five six years ago yeah that was like really intense and it's like it like makes my throat get tight because i'm like damn like i'm so much farther in along in my life now and like i know completely different people it's completely i have no idea what they've been up to yeah i don't know for the past three years but they have a whole new history of life experiences that i'm not privy to privy to sorry and the same with me but still there's that strong connection or link that you had that i feel like will always remain there will always be kind of

like a soft spot for the past yeah and i think that's why when people are like i'll always have a piece of you always love you yeah it's like that you know and i think that's why when people are like i'll always have a piece of you always love you yeah it's like that you know and i think you know even though my parents are divorced and you know my mom isn't in love with my dad my dad is not in love with my mom they are you know they're in both their separate marriages now um but they're i i do feel you know when talking to them and just kind of like sometimes i just kind of question them on their experiences because now i'm getting older and i want to know because i'm thinking about when they were 20 something they were married you know yeah to each other and it's it's um i still it's crazy to at least know through experience, like they still must have that fondness because I'm not saying I'm a gift from God, but through their relationship, even though it ended in divorce, you know, they got me.

Yeah. And they're still connected, even if it's and it's not purely just like, oh, I have to deal with this person because of a child. I'm not saying they're friends but that's what's tying them together but I also feel like there's that friendly nostalgia in their hearts for that time and they will always have some sort of

respect like my dad will always respect me as my mother's son and my mom will always respect me as my father's son. I think that there's a big, I think there's a difference between being in love and then loving someone. Yeah. You know,

because I remember, uh, cause like I, I've heard of couples that get divorced and it's like, like they're not in love anymore, but they still love each other. Like as two human beings, not in the sense of like romantic love,

but the sense of like, they've had, they've been through so much together and they, you know, it's like, I feel like certain people, no matter how it ends, like you will still always love them.

You just aren't in love. Yeah. And I think a lot of relationships do end because people, I think, I think that's honestly the hardest type of breakup is where you still love the person, but you're not in love anymore. Yeah.

You know, cause that's a very real breakup. I've been in a relationship and it's, type of breakup is where you still love the person but you're not in love anymore yeah you know because that's a very real breakup i've been in a relationship and it's it's heartbreaking and it's in a different way because there is something to be said about the heartbreak of uh it's well it's in a sense the same i was going to say they're on opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of being broken up with versus doing the breaking up because there is on both, people don't understand there is heartbreak on both sides. It's like, you can't force yourself to feel this way. And it's like, I remember wanting to feel this way. Like I, like I did back in the day about this person.

And I, and just, I go back to the nostalgic times, but my brain would still separate that as the past and be like, it's still not how i feel about them when i look at them now yeah and it is and it sucks it sucks that's part of that's part of growing up though and it's also part of uh like the experience yeah the human experience it's important to realize um and i'm saying this is like a piece of advice for people. It's important. After a breakup or a death or a loss of a friend or something like that, that it's fine to still feel that way but also move on because it's not real anymore. Yeah.

It was real at one point and you always have that. And it's not real anymore so you got to keep going because you'll have it again. Yeah. It was real at one point and you always have that and it's not real anymore. So you got to keep going because you'll have it again. Yeah. You know, there's definitely that experience. Like, I mean, we talk about it rarely, but everyone knows the Daniel situation in our life. I think most people know, uh, our friend Daniel, very talented. But it's, I bring them up because I think a lot of the times those events that you talk about, they do lead to the, like a segregated nature of my memory. Like there's, right now it's, you know, there's the before Daniel and after Daniel. Yeah. Whereas before that happened, it was just kind of like, oh, I'm in California doing stuff with, with my friends. Yeah. But now there's a, like there was, there was no before and after there might've been like a before after college, you know, but there wasn't,

there were different kind of more like visual and like experience ties to those two situations. But like with, with Daniel, there was such a shift in how I changed mentally and personally. Yeah. And even, even I've, I've talked about it, like with some people, some people are like, yeah, you know, I ask them just to be open i'm like do i seem different from before and after and they're like yeah there is a change but it's not like horribly different but like people do notice that and like it there is that part which will always kind of differentiate between like the before and after the tragedy. And it's, as you said,

it is important to realize that and realize that that tragedy. And as I know, this might be the wrong advice from in certain circumstances, but that, that is a part of your life. And it's not about getting rid of it. It's not about expelling it completely yes as you would think of like a demon or something it's about finding a healthy way to integrate it into your life so you can live it day by day healthily yes yes exactly because it's like with a trauma it's not something that you can cure you know yeah it's like as much as badly as you want to be like oh done i'm over it you know you can't and not every and the thing is with like trauma specifically at least in my case while as as horrifying of a situation that that will ever be for me i i i cannot say that that in any way will outshine even the most basic of hangout sessions

i had with daniel of course like even though one has you know changed me fast you know and in an instant you know daniel daniel's experience and i with you and his experience with a lot of people, you know, you, when you're friends with someone, like I'm friends with you, your character will slowly not mold into someone different to fit them as a friend, but because you are interacting and you're experiencing life together and learning lessons together, you will kind of mold each other. Yeah. And so that will always be. Those fingerprints will always be there. mold each other yeah and so that will always fingerprints will always be there the molding he did as my friend will always outbalance the uh the the molding he did in tragedy you know yeah it's it's different and it's it's better and i i get i i have more happy days thinking about them than sad days now. Good. Yeah.

Okay. Well. Damn. That got deep. I know. That's good though. That's why I like our podcast. Yeah.

Because it's not just some stupid themed podcast. It goes from, we literally bounce from A to Z. Well, there's no plan. So the conversation goes naturally our conversation it's weird because it's a very it's definitely a natural progression in forms of uh a conversation but then there is that you know there's the well check out myspace at hashtag myspace you know part of the podcast that is there. We never know where the podcast is going to go when we sit down.

It's like, hey, let's do a podcast today. We sit down in our chairs, get the mics ready. And then it's like, oh, let's like, we never know where it's going to go. Never know. Like it's almost 200 episodes. I know. Only three more. 97, right?

Yeah. Do we know that? We know the date of when 200 will come out, right? 98, 97 and then 200 i'm sorry i wait 98 97 200 dude i almost want to cut that out that was really bad 97 no no what are you doing what is that what i meant to say what i meant to say was we're on 197 and there is only 98 and 99 and then 200. There's only two more left until 200. Okay.

That's what I meant. But I somehow said 98, 97, 200. You guys sounded like a real moron, Matthew. I know. I was a real moron in that moment. But I'm a smart cookie. I promise. Promise?

Promise. Don't worry, dude. Whatever. Don't worry. You didn't make a bad business move starting a business with me. I'm smart. Okay. Very smart. The lighting on you is beautiful right now you look like you're you're you must be annoying for you no it's actually quite nice you look like

you're in a noir it's 5 59 on friday may 29th actually i want anyways uh where's my phone hold on i'm gonna go get my phone because i want to take a camera oh it's right there it's in the chair do you see it yeah let me get where i was with the light how's that oh beautiful now let me make it black and white because black and white's the deciding factor absolutely hold on i'm editing it in real time matthew god damn this is the perfect i will say like we've never felt this kind of lighting on the podcast and it's kind of like the perfect uh wrap up to all this conversation of nostalgia and stuff i know you know it's like now some of these like beams of sunlight as the sun's setting or shining the window and this has never happened before well because black and white helps the eyes focus more on an image so like look at the difference but you see that color like it's just like that that's

just a that looks shitty ugly fucking dude and then you look black and white gives it like kind of like this kind of like artistic that looks sick hey that's why every short film is in black and white baby oh every short film that wins best picture i'm kidding do it not every put all your movies in black and white but hey it's a it's a nice little little nudge for the judges to be like, oh, wow, that's artistic. He admires cinema. Oh, man. Well, how you feeling? You want to wrap this baby up? In a big bag?

Throw it off the edge of a bridge? Okay, hold on. Let me put him in a bag. Wait, why is there a baby in the bag? I said wrap this baby. You said wrap this baby up. Oh, I put the audience and the baby in a bag. Should we take the baby out?

No, just leave them in there with the baby. Okay, let's drop it over the bridge. Ready? Okay, here we go. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined

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