supermegashow - EP 208 - Hang Tight

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

We talk about Ryan's make-up phobia, chimp religion, and adrenaline junkies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hey, man. What's up? How's it hanging? Low into the left. I knew it. In my head, I was like something to the left.

And there it is. Actually, high into the right, more like for me. It's not hanging low. And then how are you doing? I'm doing good. I'm doing good, actually. How's your week been? My week's been pretty good, actually.

Overall, it's been great. We were talking to Brent recently at Brent's house about just every week we sit down at the podcast. And it's like, so what's new, man? And it's like, well, because of quarantine and COVID, literally nothing's new. Literally nothing. But, well, I mean, I guess something new for me is that I started playing a game called Judgment. Because you're playing Yakuza 0. Yes, I am.

And I think I tried Yakuza 0, but like, is that the one that starts off with the orphanage or is that 6? That's 6? Okay. yakuza zero but like is that the one that starts off with the orphanage or is that six that's six okay then then i think i tried six and i was like i don't know what the fuck's going on well that's why i like who are these people you don't need to know any of the story so uh i just i just hopped on judgment which is made by the same people and it takes place in the same universe you play like as a private detective and there's a i'm having a blast it's one of those games where like i don't know i blast through games like ghost of tsushima um well any game you give me i guess i'll i'll essentially just kind of work my way through in 48 hours and waste uh waste some good brain power on on just staring at a screen and and getting collectibles. But this game seems like it could give me a lot

because there's a lot of side missions, friends I can make. The story and cut, well, mainly the cut scenes are long. Yeah, same in Yakuza 0. The cut scenes are like 20 minutes sometimes, but God, they're good. Every now and then, it's a pretty slow burning story, but every now and then it's like, pretty slow burning story but every now and then it's like

woohoo what's that district that the game's based in Judgment's based in Camarocho Camarocho yeah yeah yeah and it's like

I was walking around just in the world and no joke there are some places where it's like a one to one scale of Shinjuku

well yeah it's based off Kabukicho which we went to in the Japan vlogs and like they'll have like some of the exact same buildings like everything is one scale of Shinjuku. Well, yeah, it's based off Kabukicho, which we went to in the Japan vlogs. And they'll have some of the exact same buildings. Everything is... I was telling you, the hotel across the street from that family mart. Except in that

open plaza, they put tables and chairs and a tent, like something's going on. Which I guess they might do. There's statues and green stuff there. But it's the same... The second I went in there, I was like, oh, this is that plaza. The one that has the vr arcade yep and then like i'll turn right down that street and then i'll take another left and i'll be like there should be a uh like a sushi-ish usually there's a sushi restaurant at this corner and bada boom it's the same design corner not a sushi

restaurant but it's still like that's the corner there's a shop there uh it's it's nice and i think one of my favorite parts uh of the game is simply just after you do a mission and you're low on health, just going to a restaurant and ordering some food and sitting down and just looking at those delicious pictures of whether it's curry or a sashimi plate, green tea. And they're real pictures, so it makes me hungry. It feels like you're back. It's like the closest thing right now. I know. Because we can't go to Japan, so it's like, oh, we can play a game that's pretty realistic

where we can walk around in Japan. I can kick people's butts. The combat's super fun. Oh, it's amazing. It doesn't get boring at all to me. And believe it or not, I'm actually like, I'm pretty good at Yakuza 0. I've had like no trouble yet. And I'm on chapter 12 out of

17. I've had no trouble yet. I mean, you are playing with, are you going to cancel Christian out of this? No, no, no, no. I'm playing with Christian, but I've had no problems. Like, I haven't really had. You should play it for the channel. I want to. The only problem is it's just so heavily story based that there have to be like 20 minutes where

you just don't say a word. We just have to like sit and just watch. Or we do it at Kingdom Hearts and we just skip the cutscene. No, no way. It's so fucking good. See, I'd actually respect this game. You should stream it then. Stream one of the Yakuza games.

I might stream Yakuza 0 because it's fun. I've been having a fucking blast and I'm excited to actually beat it because this will be the first game that's big I ever beat. You find out Christian does the whole big brother, little brother thing and he just gives you an off controller. I'm just like using just a... I'm actually pretty good at this game. Man, I can't believe how good I am. I haven't had any trouble yet.

Dude, I actually beat Dark Souls last night. Because Christian beats Dark Souls like that. All of a sudden it's like, yeah, I beat sekiro no death run which which christian is trying to he is doing i heard him screaming from the other room so i'm guessing it didn't go too that's not something i'm gonna try to do that shit isn't fun to me because then it's just like you'll you'll you'll waste 20 like 10 hours and then you'll die because of some stupid reason i heard if you get stuck on a wall you really i was on the couch here i guess he died um right before this podcast started i made an oopsie you did which i'm looking at right now a bunch of water you you toppled over our our make-believe aquarium

yeah we got a make-believe aquarium that has real water in it and never like we're gonna use it for something and then i just set it kind of under the table and then I was just walking. I was like, hey, I'm gonna go use the bathroom before we start the podcast. Kicked it, tips over, pours like a gallon of water. Yeah, a good gallon of water. At least a gallon, if not more. Probably like a like a four foot long radius. Yeah.

On the carpet. So. But you stepped on some towels to hopefully soak up a good bit of that water and soak it up good yeah yeah so not not not nothing yeah nothing to to call mom about well i mean that's all i guess i have for this podcast in terms of tie i have nothing else to talk about same so uh let's do some ad reads and let's wrap it up you know that's the thing about covid though is it's like i don't have any inspiration for conversation because like normally we'll come in and it's like dude all these these crazy i have all these stories from the last week of like real world

things that happen now it's like uh so i played some video games uh i smoked some weed well i can't wait until this shit's over and we can i think it'll be a golden era of the podcast when this is over dude we i went to a restaurant last night we're gonna be out so much yes god but that's probably not gonna be until i'd say mid next year i don't know maybe early next year if we can get like a vaccine and get 70 of the population to legit actually you know get it then we might have a fighting chance at having why do people think that okay i keep hearing so much shit lately about, like, microchips and, like,

that the vaccine is going to put microchips in us or something. Well, that's what, like, the people that are anti-vaccine are saying. Bill Gates wants to put microchips in you. I don't know how I feel about that one. 5G is going to make your brain explode. Like, I'm all cool with vaccines. Microchips freak me out a little bit. I'm like,

we still use a broken ass system for our nuclear launch shit so i don't think we're microchipping anyone anytime doesn't it work on like like isn't the nuclear launch system like isn't it like some system for like the 80s but there's a reason because you can't hack into it right but i don't. I feel like we are a good bit away from our government microchipping us, creating 350 million or so microchips. That's a hefty bit of technology. I just feel like our government's fine with spying on us the way they are. But what's the point? What's the point of microchipping? For dumb people to get scared over...

Because all I see, I see people on, like, my relatives on Facebook freaking out, but it's like, well, why would anyone accept a microchip? Like, I haven't heard any benefits of what a microchip would do. And I also haven't heard anyone talking about actually microchipping anybody. Except Bill Gates. He's like, microchip like what's the what i haven't heard any benefits of what a microchip would do and i also haven't heard anyone talking about actually microchipping anybody except bill gates microchip people it's like i'm not getting a microchip because bill gates said so the only instance i've read or seen kind of like anything similar to a microchipping is more in terms of like it's like people will be able to just scan their thumb or hands to buy stuff in the future. They'll like put their cards essentially in there. That's really sick.

They'll cut open a sliver of their palm and they'll stick the card in that. So it's like a little card. The whole credit card. So it's just like sticking through their skin. Like, hold on. Let me scan it again. It's like moist and dripping from just like pus. Horribly infected. Hey, hold on. Oh, you it again. It's like moist and dripping from just like pus. Horribly infected.

Hey, hold on. Let me, let me. Oh, you don't have the tap type? No, no. Hold on. By the way, my fucking, okay, so I will say something. Say it. I will.

Wells Fargo can go suck a big, big penis. And you know why? Because I was about to go home. I'm running empty. I'm going to get some gas. I put my gloves on. I put my mask on. I get out.

You know, whoop, whoop. Car declined. I'm like, fuck. Whoop, whoop. Car declined. Fuck. And so I call wells fargo no actually before that i look on the wells fargo app and i'm like okay there's something in the app inbox which nobody fucking

checks oh nobody checks that shit and it was a message that said hey we might have uh caught some suspicious behavior with your card so we're canceling it and sending you a new one. And I'm like, so I look at the date and it's like, we're canceling it on the 24th. And it was the 24th. And I'm just like, I don't have enough to like get home. I need to get gas. And so I called them and I was pretty livid. I was like, why?

They're like, well, suspicious activity. And I have an inkling I know what this suspicious activity is what well recently wells fargo sent me another text that was like here are two suspicious uh uh purchases and it's from a specific billing company that works with adult entertainment i knew it i knew it i knew it did OnlyFans really fuck me over? Now I have to go and re-put all of my card information because I wanted to buy porn? Is that it? You just wanted a nut in the privacy of your home?

Like, first of all, why can't they, like, call you or get a confirmation from you that you want a new card? Why do they have to cancel it and send a new one in the mail? Well, mine does the opposite. I have Wells Fargo too, and when they detect something, they'll lock my card, but they'll send me a text, and I have to say yes or no. I finally got a text that said yes or no, but I did not get that for any of this other suspicious bullshit that it claimed.

Someone keeps fucking scamming my debit card and going to gas stations in Long Beach and taking out $100 gift cards. And this is the second time it's happened. You should probably get a new card. No, I did. I have gotten a new card. It still happens. So it's like, what the fuck? So I'm trying to get that figured out. Have you called them?

Yeah, I have. Have they said what that is? Well, usually it's like, if my card info got lifted by like a skimmer, like those machines, then they can put it on like a fake credit card and then use that. So I canceled my card and got a new one.

And then like two weeks later, it happened again. So they took 500 bucks from me this time. So now I got to call Wells Fargo and get all that figured out. You left a man stranded at a gas station because he just wanted to buy, just buy porn. Only Fans is great. I know, I know exactly what it is.

This is God's punishment for you for looking at pornography. Well... See? If you hadn't looked at pornography, you wouldn't have been stranded at the gas station. Look, the way I see OnlyFans is, you know, in the past, you'd buy a porn subscription like, I guess, Pornhub or, what is it, the Beef Bros. I don't know what they're called. The Bang Bros.

I love the Beef Bros. The Beef Bros. my favorite site when i get home from work i can't wait to take off my pants and crank it to the beef bros website but uh yeah you you subscribe there you make a member i guess you make i've never created an account for any of those sites but it just seems like a waste of money because i've never liked uh high production porn I've always find it off-putting, like when they wear a bunch of makeup and wear funny goofy outfits. We don't like anyone wearing makeup. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not

like, no makeup. It's like, just don't cake it on. Like, don't be a 50-year-old woman with Botox and a porn with like tears of mascara running down your face because you're being fucked to oblivion. Like, I'm just not into it. know some people are i'm not but anyways um and with only fans it's like oh i can support these real people that probably need this money and i get my and i get

my and i get my laughs off and by laughs i mean my my strokes and by strokes i mean when i'm masturbating. Hey, mom, stop looking at my bank account and trying to decipher what's OnlyFans. It's going to look it up like, Ryan, what's OnlyFans? Yeah, dude. She still listens to the podcast. Really? Yeah.

And she- God bless her. God bless her. I know. Every now and then, though, she keeps trying to be like, you know, actually, I read this study that on planes, like it's actually, if it's a short flight, it's COVID, it's not that bad. And I'm like, mom, are you kidding? It's the airports. I'm worried about the airports. Yeah, it's not the planes.

The planes actually have, apparently planes have some of the cleanest air because they're filtering so much air and it's circulating around. I just feel like my mom doesn't read, read like, it's going to sound mean because I know she listens to this, but I don't feel like she reads things for herself. If you know what I mean?

What do you mean? Like when COVID happened, I just was on the subreddits and I was reading articles about it and I was trying to understand as much as I could about it and like how dangerous it could potentially be. Yeah. The spread of it. I feel like my mom hears like, I don't know what she hears in her head of what COVID is.

I mean, she's taking all the right precautions. But when I talk to her, it's almost like it doesn't exist sometimes because she's trying to make excuses. And I get it. She wants to see her son. And I want to see my family you know it's no walk in the park that I this is the first year that I'm not visiting South Carolina because I miss my friends and family from back home but uh I just I don't want to have any any deaths on my conscience I don't want to have any any even infections on my conscience I don't want to go home and see my family and then hear one of them got infected.

And I'd never know if I was the one that gave it to him. But then in my head, it would always be like, was I the one? If I didn't go. Was I the one that killed grandma? Exactly. And I don't want to kill Oma. I love Oma. Oma is a wonderful person.

I don't want to kill my mom or my dad either or my step parents. Jim actually. Jim could get it. It's okay. Jim could get it. Well, actually, he couldn't. He has diabetes. He'd die pretty quickly.

So, which makes me actually wonder, it's like, what is my mom's intent on wanting to visit California, the most infected state in the United States? It would probably be because she wants to actually get it, go back and then potentially find a new husband. Well, let me tell you something. Divorce is expensive. What? 20, 30 grand?

Exactly. She doesn't want to have to pay that. Till death do us part. You know how much money is in life insurance in life there's no shame in the partner dying divorce is shameful god's gonna look at you and say gross that's not what i intended you should have worked it out you should have worked it out i know he beat you five times no okay jim didn't beat my mom i'm saying not five times a week at least yeah like at least he would twice a month maybe yeah but basically uh but but god would be upset uh you would never

speak to your mom again for doing something like divorce god would never speak to you again yeah she'd go to hell she'd go to hell they say you know god forgives all but not divorce not divorce that's the one that's the one sin god doesn't forgive rape murder murder yeah but divorce no no no god god does not like that so what easier way than you know it kind of fell into your mom's lap with the pandemic she's like wow i can just give just like how my mom fell in the gym's lap nice dude yes okay for a second i thought it was like it's supposed to be the other way around and i was like nope jim has the penis your mom doesn't yes so it should be he she should be that's rightcile does not have a penis. Jim does have a penis, though.

You could call it that. Something like that. It's a penis-like object. It's a penis-like growth. It's a phallic bit of flesh that does the same function as a penis. However, probably scientifically cannot be classified as a penis. Or as Chris Chan calls it, my ugly growth. The unclit? Penis is the ugly growth.

But you haven't caught up on the documentary yet, so. No, I'm still on the makeup episode, Matt. Like 37, I think it is. That's farther than 37. Is it? Yeah. Dude, you gotta catch up, man. I'm sure it's just 37. You know, Samuel's farther than 37 is it? yeah dude you gotta catch up man I'm sure it's just 37

it was late 30s I thought oh you're just 37 but you gotta catch up man it's good right now maybe I could I'll get through it

I'll get through it I just like every time I watch the documentary usually I'm eating something and as I said with the makeup stuff eat and then watch yeah

well the makeup the makeup's not enough I have a question you know assholes never think they're assholes but like in this instance am I just an asshole for not liking makeup or is it just something like I feel like I can't control my reaction and how

I feel and all that shit but like is that just what an asshole feels like? I don't think it's, I don't think you're an asshole. I think, if I was being realistic, I think it's, uh, I think it's dumb. But I don't think you're being an asshole. You know? Yeah.

You think it's dumb. Yeah, yeah, I think it's dumb. Just like how I think a lot of the things you do are dumb. Like, speak. I guess, I guess, yeah. That's your opinion. Yeah. I'm going to start wearing makeup just to bother you.

I'm going to come and work with like seven layers of lipstick so it's like dripping down my chain. It would bother me. Hey, Ryan. So, yeah, it's dumb from your perspective. I mean, that's a bit of an attack to make yourself look better, but I don't know why you decided to say it. No, it's not an attack. I mean, you're saying that how I feel is...

I just think grow up, it's makeup. See, it's that line of thinking. It's like I can't just grow up. It's just like I get this shutter feel. So if you're on a date with a woman... So like some people don't mind throwing up. I think your aversion to being – You're comparing makeup to vomit though.

They're about the same thing. One, I would say like throw up is just your own body. You're afraid of your own body. 90% of women put throw up on their face every day? Well, you can't equate them to like that. That would be stupid. Well, you just said they're the same thing. That's what a dumbass does.

Well, you just said they're the same thing though. They're not the same thing. You just said they were the same thing. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. You just said they're the same thing. That's what a dumbass does. Well, you just said they're the same thing, though. They're not the same thing. You just said they were the same thing. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. You said they're about the same thing. I don't know what you're talking about.

Ryan, you gaslighting fuck. No, I'm not. I'm not gaslighting you. I didn't say they're the same thing. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Why are you telling me I said something that I didn't?

Why are you gaslighting me? I'm not gaslighting anybody. Yes, you are. They're about the same thing. You give me that smirk. I don't know what you're talking about matt i have no idea what you're talking about i'm i'm actually pretty fucking livid right now you fucking asshole fuck you can i see how mad i am yeah i see how fucking mad i am

i don't think i could sorry i'm trying i'm trying to smile while giving off an angry voice. You see how mad I am? It's hard. You can't do it. That's what it looks like. Dude, I'm... You fucker. You still look mad. You bitch.

Like, just plain just... Dude, I'm so pissed. Yeah, you cunt. I can't do it. It's too hard. Anyways, that was us trying to look angry. Wait, can you say can you be really happy with a really upset look?

I'm so happy right now. It's hard. It's really hard. Matt, I love you so much. It just sounds stupid. It does. It sounds dumb. But anyways, back to it. Of course, there are some differences between throw up and makeup. I don't see them that much.

A little bit. But at what point, I guess, do you have to take ownership over not liking something? Because I deal with it. It's not like I hang out with people and I'm like, oh, you're wearing makeup. It's like I keep it to myself. I brought my girlfriend around once and she had makeup and Ryan just punched her straight in the jaw. Which she deserved it. Well, I don't know, actually.

I don't know what point that is. I think it's the point in which I try to, like, tell other people they shouldn't wear makeup around me because it bothers me. You know what I mean? I guess when it starts impacting other people. Like, I guess keep it to yourself. Like, yeah, that's fine. That's what I've done all the time. Once you bring it to, like, it impacts other people around you, that's probably where it becomes asshole-ish.

Would I be an asshole, like, say I had a boyfriend, and he got done with his dance recital, and he had bright red lipstick on, and he went in for a kiss, and I was like, ooh, I don't know, maybe wipe the makeup off. Would I be an asshole in that situation? It depends on how you go about it. This happened to me actually one time. It was my girlfriend at the time though. Not, Oh, okay. Not, not Jake. I talk about it. Okay, good. Um, but, uh, this was like my senior

year of high school. Uh, I was dating someone who was on the dance team at our school. And, you know, a part of the dance team is you put on like a bunch of makeup, which is red lipstick and all this bullshit, whatever. And so afterwards, you know, it was whatever. And she leaned in for a kiss and I was like, and she's like, what? Oh, you don't like makeup. You don't like the like it's not the it's mainly the red lipstick. Like I don't like the thought of someone like putting their lips on me and then like that leaving a mark.

It's the same vibe if like someone was eating a bowl of clam chowder and then gave me a kiss and clam chowder was like left on my cheek. Where do you think it stems from? Where do you think it came from? I don't know. I really don't.

There was this time where I was a young boy and I think some of my step cousins who were who were females. I like calling them female. They were females. They, I think, put makeup on me and then I went downstairs and all the southern men and people laughed and pointed. And then I was like and then i wiped it off i don't think i earned ptsd from that hey man when you're a kid things can give you ptsd that you can't explain that so it sounds like you had a traumatic event involving makeup and being seen as a homosexual by yeah but this gets people to be like yeah but ryan put on makeup

and then you'll realize it's not that bad but But it's like... You start wearing it every day. Like, I actually really like it. I've put on makeup before, like for sketches. The clown one? Yeah. Yeah, like, and I don't, I just don't like it. I don't like, I guess it's the cakiness. I don't like the feeling of makeup on me because, like, when I put on makeup for a sketch or something,

I really hate the way it feels. I'm like, wow, how do people do this? It just feels like there's stuff all over my face and I want to just wipe it off. I guess get used to it if you put it on every day, but like, uh, let's do, let's do the makeup challenge every day for a month. You and I full, beautiful drag makeup. What's like, they're like, okay, Ryan, you judge people based on if they wear makeup or not, but what if it was skin color they can't change that oh man if i see someone with a different skin color i just go i shudder wow but like what is the what is what is the step of like me being i guess what i'm trying to like is me being inherently kind of to heavy makeup the same feeling that like really hardcore republicans feel when they see a gay couple kissing it's like i don't mind them kissing i just don't want to be around it

but i can be i'll be nice but i won't like it you know what i mean like am i a bigot you know what I mean like am I a bigot well putting on makeup's a choice being gay's not Matt come on I'm just kidding dude I was just busting your balls with that one of course being gay's a choice I guess I'm trying to find out where is that line

of like when something inherent like I'm trying to figure out if I'm inherently bigoted in a way that scares me if it's just like I just don't like makeup if it's that simple can people twist this into making me into canceling me for this

no being gay is an identity wearing makeup is not an identity unless you're Jeffree Star I know this I know that but I'm saying like along the spectrum of things to dislike and that you can be inherently like well makeup is closely tied to a lot of gender identity things so i see i could see how people could say oh he is he's this

he's he's he's homophobic Republican sees when he sees two men kissing. Even though, yes, I know being gay isn't a choice. I'm very aware of the fact. I'm saying, is it that same feeling? Like, am I experiencing what a bigot feels? Except it's just with something as simple as makeup. I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to understand the bigot feels except it's just with something as simple as makeup i don't know i don't know

i'm trying to understand the republican and we should kiss in front of them and see because because if if because at the end of the day if i just learn that they're just scared of gay people like i'm scared of makeup or other people are scared of other people with other races then i can just be like guys they can't help it they just don't like people of different skin color or boys they're just scared just like how i don't like makeup you know you become like super far right yeah just because of this makeup it's the makeup argument you know hypothetically has its own wikipedia page yep wait a second it's the ad fairy uh-oh oh Oh, God. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain.

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At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. I read something this morning that really kind of blew me away. What? Is that scientists have been studying chimps and they think that they're starting to form their own religions. Like, they're starting to, like, develop, like, religion.

Because they've noticed chimps start to do, like, certain rituals and stuff, like, when it, like, rains or something. Or, like, they make, like, little temples and, like, put things there and stuff. They make little temples? Yeah. I was just reading about it, actually. actually like fucking new footage shows chimpanzees engaging in bizarre and bizarre behavior which might be a form of a sacred ritual that could show the beginnings of a kind of religious belief this might sound stupid but is there a potential you know after humans are wiped out from some fucking disease that when when our genes are cut from the line, like a gorilla or like the other apes of the world will then hundreds of thousands to millions of years later become the dominant quote unquote human species.

Will it work out to be like that? It could, I guess. They make vocal, like they're very vocal. They're making the grunts that cavemen make. Like a gorilla, I've said this before, a gorilla is just simply the ogre to humans. They're very vocal. They're making the grunts that cavemen make. A gorilla, I've said this before, a gorilla is just simply the ogre to humans. Absolutely. They're just a giant troll. It's a big, dumb human.

It's just a big, dumb human. Yeah. With more strength. And sex appeal. Chimps and stuff like that. Baboons, they're like goblins. Yes. That's fucking, that's smart.

That's genius. Yes, that's fucking, that's smart, that's genius. And I think that monkeys and chimps and shit could definitely one day evolve to speak and be as smart as us. Why do we? Like, why do humans? Well, they wouldn't be speaking English. No, it'd be their own monkey language. Yeah.

Talking about bananas and shit. But I guess in the creation of a language, will it always become more complex as it goes on to describe to help you describe more things or can't like would there have been a point or would it have been possible for humans as we were going through um evolution to just have just kept on just going oh just speaking through emotion uh evoked through our vocal range rather than words describing specific objects nouns verbs that would have held us back i think i think the fact that we evolved to be able to express more is why we were able to advance so far can other species do the same though and like how long does it take for a speed like we like gorillas can't talk of course could you you can't train a gorilla to speak words right it doesn't have the same like yeah does

actual like vocal cords and shit that it would require why did we develop that was it because like evolution was just like oh they're trying to speak let's help them out a bit. I think because. Form words, even though evolution isn't an omnipotent being that can decide what a word is. Well, the Texas accent. The ones that could form better sounds with their throats would be the ones who could survive. Because they could, they'd be able to communicate things better, which would help help them survive and then they just kept going until next thing you know you got you

got podcasters wait have have gorillas been around since like the caveman era some version of gorillas because like there's so many different species of like early human too like it wasn't just like one early gorilla look like they all look pretty similar but like early humans are kind of goofy looking you can definitely see where we came from though you can see certain early humans you can see the chimp kind of like jowl

protrusion and then you can see it slowly turn more into like a human kind of look we get bigger craniums to fit our big old brains the face flattens a little bit and you're like hey hey, that's a person. So I looked up the word early gorilla and it says, early gorilla is an indica slash sativa

variety from philosopher seeds and can be cultivated outdoors. Yo, you wanna smoke some early gorilla? I wanna... Literally, I look up early gorilla and it's just pictures of weed. Oh, shit. Is this what an early gorilla and it's just pictures of weed. Oh, shit. Is this what an early gorilla looked like?

Just a big plant? No, just like a big version of what, you know. That's a funny fucking looking thing. Whoa, dude, you want to see what the first primates looked like? What? Looks like a rat. And didn't they start off as like fucking amphibians or some shit? I guess we all came out of the ocean, dude.

Start off as single cell organisms or some, I don't know. Guys, we didn't study to become scientists. So for those people correcting us, good on you. Do you think, wait, did life, wait, did all life on the planet come from like one cell that split into two? And then that just went like this? Or was it all of a sudden like a bunch of cells all over and then all of those split? I don't know. I'm not hypothesizing.

I'm asking you for the answer. Well, as a scientist with a doctorate degree. Hey, we're all scientists. Remember in science class in middle school, they're like, you're a scientist. If you do the steps of the scientific process, you are a scientist. That is a good thing to teach kids. It expands the mind. Because they're like, I am a scientist. I can do this. Science is simply just observing the environment around you and making, not even making predictions. It's literally just observing the environment around making those observations but then we can use those observations to build tests and then we use you know to build

hypotheses for shit and it's it's it's it's great we we have developed a lot of ways to explain things like time time is a wonderful thing doesn't exist it doesn't i was thinking about time fucks me up when i think about it just because it's like the only reason time quote unquote exists i guess is because of us aging through what what ages us is it oxygen in the air like there's something that like ages our skin to i can't remember what it was but i guess it's just our lifespan our lifespan is what gives us the want and need to develop these ideas

because if we were omnipotent we wouldn't care not omnipotent sorry if we were eternal we wouldn't care about time because time wouldn't exist it's like oh you live forever like a god we wouldn't have a clock be here by whatever it's just like show up and then you just show up like no one's late for

anything since you can't be like oh i mean where are they i sound like a middle school stoner but it's like what is time you know it's like what is it it's just crazy because it's like time is just a concept to help us better understand and articulate i guess it's not a thing it's like – Time is just a concept to help us better understand and articulate, I guess, the passing – It's not a thing. It's not like a – Well, to us, time is real because it's the passage of time in which there's growth. It's what binds us to this dimension. Growth and –

Birth and death. That's how we want to – that's how we like to categorize things, I think, is just because we have time to explain death and life and shit that's how it started i feel or maybe it just started because some guy was like oh this bitch that i'm cheating on my wife with is always late to the cave i okay meet me when the sun is at the top okay i don't know why the woman sounds like that. Because she's also an ape. Well, women had deeper voices back then. Scientifically proven.

But time, so like, further dimensions, like you step outside of time, and then... But since time doesn't exist, it's nothing you step outside of. Yeah, but in other dimensions,

could you just like go to a previous point in time-space? Like, isn't that the whole point? Didn't they explain that in Interstellar where they drew a circle or a line maybe? Like a wormhole, yeah. Where it's like you go from this long point to this long point.

But if you fold a piece of paper, you stick the pencil through it. Yeah. I read about wormholes on Wikipedia one afternoon when I was bored at home and I understood like 2% of it. But it was cool. It's really cool. I mean, if they of it but it was cool it's really cool I mean if they exist what was cool about it? well like what did you find interesting

about it? basically that it's these points where you can like travel from one point in space time to another one that can be like billions of light years away like instantly so it's fast travel yeah it's essentially fast travel where it's like and when I watch a simulation what it would look like to go through one and it was really cool the whole world

like everything's just like and then you're out and it's like whoa do you ever have those moments like i was in bed last night and i was just like ah i'm fully aware of everything that's going on and then i'm like but one day my eyes are gonna close and I'm gonna be like I'm dying and then I just won't exist and I'm like I don't know I'm I'm that there's like that kind of I think it's a natural fear to have of death but like every every now and then at night I'll just think there is a moment and it's inevitable like there is a moment where I'm going to just die um hopefully it's old age um unfortunately it's probably going to just die. Hopefully it's old age. Unfortunately, it's probably going to be some sort of illness or some, I tripped on a banana peel in the morning when I'm 80 years old.

I'd say, I was about to make a joke about it, but I'm like, I guarantee like some kid who's listening to this, like their grandfather has died from slipping on a banana peel. What a way to go. I'd be fine if that was how i died honestly i would hope that people would make a joke out of it at the funeral yeah they'd be like so i'm so sorry how did you die you're not gonna believe this but i slipped on a banana peel like i knew this kid growing up where his grandpa fought in like the korean war he fought in like the World War II. He served as like a police officer for like 20 years and he died because he slipped on an ice cube. So it's like you like live through all this crazy shit and then like a fucking ice cube on the ground is what finally takes you out. You and I were watching compilations and I watched a good bit of them with Justin too last night of the near-death compilations.

They're crazy. Those get my palms sweaty some of them are just like that wasn't even near death it was just like this guy being a jackass on a tall building like he doesn't slip or anything he just kind of like look I'm on a tall building near death I'm epic you know but

I do love watching those cause there's so just look up near death experience compilations on YouTube how to sit back in the living room with all the dudes and we'll just like watch for like two hours just like planes going narrowly over someone filming or like someone skiing down a mountain like with an avalanche chasing them

do you think people who do the like those videos in Russia where they're on those buildings or cranes do you think there's a part of those i don't know for some reason i'm like is that linked to sociopathy in any way the fear of like not like oh i'm not gonna die i'm just gonna hang from this with one arm it's like a normal person would just be like fuck no i die but then it's like no we just have we just have bigger balls no i bet it's adrenaline seeking

and like adrenaline on that level i imagine is like a drug you know because like if you're hanging from the side of a fucking skyscraper by one hand that's gotta be so insane that i imagine like an unfortunate man who who slipped and fell yes which that's the risk he didn't slip sorry he just he just wasn't strong enough that's why you get that's why it's like a drug though because that can happen and it's not happening. So you're that close to death. So it's like, I guess that amount of adrenaline literally feels like you're like taking meth.

You're like, whoa! And when you're a kid, you like climbing trees. And when you're an adult and don't have a job, why not just go and climb a giant crane? I saw this video of these teenagers in like Moscow climbing up this suspension bridge where they're just like walking up with gopros on their helmets like walking up the suspension cable like all the way to the top

and i was like no no no no and it just even thinking about it my hands are wet right now just thinking about it makes makes my hands just sweaty just thinking about hanging from a crane or well what's what sucks about or what what i think a lot of people don't think about is like when you're hanging from a crane over like a busy fucking street you're think a lot of those people don't think about is like when you're hanging from a crane over like a busy fucking street, you're putting a lot of people in danger. Because let's say you're a dumbass first to do that. And then you do slip. If you land on a fucking car with people in it or you land on somebody. That's why I'm like, do you, some of those people, I don't know.

I don't think it's sociopathy. I think it's just dumbasses. Yeah. That are seeking a thrill. Because if you don't care about others or yourself... I don't think it's sociopaths. I think they're just dumbasses and they're not thinking. There has to be some of them that are sociopaths.

True psychopaths. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Just like there's sociopathic podcasters. Like you? What? No. We're being honest.

I'm not a sociopath, Ryan. I'm a psychopath. Don't get them confused that means i can kill and not feel anything sociopath means i just don't care about people's emotions i can't feel emotions but psychopath means i'm trying to picture you killing someone after your reaction of spilling a gallon of water on a carpet like i'm trying to picture your reaction of like trying to kill oh Oh, oh, ah, shit. You think I could kill you?

I don't think you could. I think you could if I had a gun to you maybe, or if like I was trying to kill you, then you'd have no other choice. But I don't think you have it in you to just right on kill someone. No, I mean, if I had to, I mean, guns the easiest way, but that's loud. I can see you, for instance,

not telling me a car is coming and letting it hit me. Like, I can see you do that. But for you putting your own hands on someone and killing them, I don't see that. You see. You know, I could see you negligently and purposely causing my death. But, you know, I could see you actually killing somebody. But I'm saying that you're not a murderer. You couldn't murder someone with your bare hands.

You know, if you see, like, a piano falling from the top of a building, I think you'd go, and you'd forget, you know, you'd be like, you wouldn't go, Ryan, look out! You'd just be like, I probably would. I'd probably let out such a loud scream. I'd push you and I'd jump out. No, that scream would make me, like, stand in place and be like, what? And then I'd get hit out such a loud scream. I'd push you and I'd jump out. No, no. That scream would make me like stand in place and be like, what?

And then I'd get hit by the piano. I mean like it crashes and like your head pops up through it and your teeth are like piano keys. Are all the piano keys. And you have little birds flying around. I wish, man. Ad reads. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way?

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The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Now you can welcome me back. Well, I was about to welcome you back and all of a sudden I got this feeling in my stomach where it's like, go sit on a toilet. But it's fine. I'll end the podcast. I'll end the podcast. I'll finish the podcast. 21 minutes? Yeah.

20 more minutes? I'm also very hungry. Are you hungry? Yeah, I haven't eaten anything since like 6.37 yesterday. PM? Yeah. Damn. Bro, you're pushing 24 hours on no food. It's part of the intermittent fasting shit.

Oh. I usually try to do one or two 24 hour- For religious reasons, right? Yeah. Right. But no, I'm actually, I can't remember if I've, I think I talked about this on the podcast. I don't want to talk too much into it. Cause if I end up like not actually going through with it all the way, I ended up gaining all the weight back,

you know, feel extra bad. Yeah. And then people remind you, I read, I am doing well. I sent you a before and after picture of simply just two weeks from Ryan. Send me a picture of him standing in the mirror with no shirt on and it's his

side profile and the two week comparison. Boom. You can, you could see a noticeable difference in that Tom Tom, the bloats going down his stomach and the titties. Yeah, absolutely. Big difference. I, well, I read this tip, uh, that was on, uh, I used to subscribe to some Reddit. I forgot what it was. I need to resubscribe to it, but it's like life hacks or like pro tips. I think it's just life pro tips. LPT. And it was like when starting a new like lifestyle change or

improvement like a new diet or an exercise thing, it's like don't tell people about it until you're like 30 days in. Yeah. That way if you fail, you don't look like a dumbass. Also, telling people gives you... Makes me feel accountable though. Like when I tell someone then it's like shit. That's how I feel.

Now I have to stick to it. Because if I don't, then I'm a lazy asshole. It also gives me, like... But also, there's that weird thing where when you tell people, you also kind of get this weird, like, validation from it. It kind of almost tricks your brain a little bit into being like, I'm doing good. Well, I specifically have it set up.

Like, I call Justin every night, and I told him I'm doing this. I have to tell him... specifically have it set up like i call justin every night and i told him i'm doing this i have to i have to tell him basically give him the rundown of what i did like how like how much i ate and then if i worked out or not and then it's gotten like i'll call him okay give me the update buddy i'm like okay well justin i ate i you know my goal is 1500,500 calories and I ate 1,900. But I happen to work out and burn 500. It adds 500. It means I'm still in a good deficit. So it's like shit like that.

I feel like it helps. So right now, the main thing. So here's what I'm doing. It's very simple. It's just I cut calories, like a good bit of my calories. Usually I think to maintain my weight, it's probably twenty five hundred to twenty seven hundred calories I cut. So now I I'm only having fifteen hundred calories in a day. I struggle to reach a thousand on most days.

It is hard to reach a big calorie goal if you're not eating high caloric foods and you don't tend to do that. I just don't eat a lot in general. I don't know why. My body's just like, food, don't need it. For me, it's tough because I'm used to eating like 3,000 plus a day. Dude, I fucking wish for like two months we could just swap like appetites. Like that would fix everything you know yeah i wake up and just eat a big breakfast discipline that's that's what makes getting healthy an

achievement is that it actually takes work it's not supposed to be easy no it's not because good things never come easy except for prostitutes very easy so i cut down to 1500 calories i work out and that doesn't mean like a heavy workout that can mean like 20 minutes on an elliptical or 30 minutes taking a light jog uh do that five time five days out of seven you know out of the week and then i'll do intermittent fasting sparsely throughout the week as well do you burn more calories if you were to go like running in the heat than running on an elliptical? I don't know, but I do know that exercise,

while it is important and it is a good key factor in a healthy lifestyle, it is not the main factor in you losing weight. And you gaining muscle, yes, of course, but like dieting is the big way that you lose weight it's by cutting the amount that you intake it's not like working out does help and

i'd say it it bet you benefit a lot from working out and dieting but if you're just working out and you're still eating like shit you're not going to see much of a difference. But vice versa, if you change the way you eat and don't work out, you will notice a difference. It's probably harder to work out too if you eat like shit still because you don't feel good, so it's hard to get motivated to work out. You've got to use the foods you eat as energy. You've got to not let it settle, I guess. When you think about your body, literally it's a machine.

It's like a series of systems and machines and like you get out what you put in so you gotta see that's why i only consume celery nowadays because what i want to get out is a massive ejaculate load yeah so that's why i only do that and i feel great um when i come it's like the life the life power being sucked out of me because the load's just so big that's usually about now when i come it's about two cups of semen um right when i said i just imagine like like your mom just sitting in her like desk at work like listening to this and she's like oh she's probably listening to us in the car i would imagine or maybe cecile look out with headphones in i don't know i said that justin what if when i said that she's listening the car like a semi-truck actually was barreling towards her and I saved her life good because I would have been down a mother I only have two well what's funny that's gonna break her heart hearing that

she's like what she your stepmom Kristen isn't your real mom pretty close actually hurts my feelings every time I hear the word mom related to Kristen. Just call her Kristen. Just call her Kristen. Not stepmom. She's not a mom. She didn't mother you until elementary school. You sucked from my tits. You came out of my pussy.

I'm your true mother. Call Jim daddy. Never. How would Jim react if you, like, went home and were like, hey, daddy. What the hell? I'll test that out Hey daddy. What the hell? I'll, I'll test that out next time I see him. I'll,

I'll, I'll give him a, a nice ball squeeze too. Hey daddy. Like just a clown horn noise. You know, what's weird. Uh,

speaking of coincidence is like me screaming that while saving your mother's life. Of course. Thank you for that though. Of course. I was, uh, yesterday at the office. Remember I was telling you, like, oh, there's a fire at this spot a couple miles from my house.

And it's funny because there was actually a fire there, like, last year in the same spot. And I went and I checked. And the fire that was in that same spot was a year ago to the date. So I was just like... Who's there causing an annual fire? I don't know. It's just... Do you think it's just a dry spot?

Well, no. Yesterday was because a car crashed. Oh, thank... Yo, Jackson. In here with the coffee. Thank you. What kind of coffee? Is it just black coffee?

Black coffee. Ooh. If you need any creamer, I can grab it. That'll help me. Dude, that's going to make me shit. He needs to get some... He needs to get some doo-doo out. Thank you, man.

You know what? Just for that, Jackson, you get a little monologue to talk about just what you out. You know what? Just for that, Jackson, you get a little monologue to talk about what you're interested in, what you've been doing, how you've been. You can come sit here with me on my chair, Jackson. So we can't interrupt him, but Jackson, you gotta... We're gonna give you 45 seconds.

No, actually, I'm gonna time you. I'm gonna time you with a stopwatch. As a thank you, you get 45 seconds. Should we give him a whole minute? Well, it's just coffee. You're right. You can promote your stuff, whatever you want to promote, Jackson. You can promote it for 45 seconds. Just talk like what you've been doing, how you've been doing.

Remember, you want to be a fist away from the microphone. So that's about good. Jackson. My hands are Trump's tiny hands. When do I start it? Okay, wait. Jackson, three, two, one, go. Okay, so for those of you who don't know me, my name is Jackson Tucker.

That's J-A-C-K-S-O-N-T-U-C-K-E-R. And I am an employee here at SuperMega, not unionized, and I'm currently working on creating my own content. Now, my bosses are trying to kind of squash this because they don't want the competition, but I stream on Twitch. it's twitch.tv forward slash Jackson A. Tucker soon I'll hopefully be getting partner over there I'm going to be applying for that

fairly soon I also am launching a YouTube channel finishing up the very first video for that over the next few days so that should be launching next week or two youtube.com slash Jackson A. Tucker thank you so much and with three seconds to spare should be launching in the next week or two. YouTube.com slash Jackson A. Tucker. Thank you so much. And with three seconds to spare.

Three seconds to spare. Okay. I mean, you just used it as an ad. That's fine. I wanted to know how you were doing, though. Oh. Well, you need to know

what I'm doing. No, no, your time, you use the time, you use the talking time. Well, now it's a sit-in. No, well, thank you, Jackson. Thank you, Jackson. You're being disrespectful.

We gave you 45 seconds. I will cut the mic off over here if he keeps talking. They said the sit-ins were disrespectful during all of those, you know, Gandhi, all these other people. Jackson. I have the mic. I appreciate the coffee, but we were, I think we were very fair and you agreed to the-

45 seconds of self-promotion. And you can sigh all you want, Jackson. Jackson, advertisers pay us literally tens of millions of dollars a year. Per second of the ad review. And we just gave that to you for, what, a cup of coffee? What if we start putting, like, you go through our ad agency to start putting ads in our podcast? Hey, guys, you have an ad this week from this guy named Jackson. He has his own Twitch shit.

He's got a podcast. Jackson, if you write us an ad read, we'll do it. There's zero calories in black coffee, right? Yep. So, like, I can drink this and feel good about it. Yeah. Well, if you're not pooping yourself. I don't have much in my system to poop out.

It's a stimulant. I haven't eaten in almost 24 hours. It's a good appetite suppressant. Did you know? Is it? Wait, is coffee? Yes. Wait a second.

Because I know cigarettes are a good appetite suppressant. That's because nicotine is a stimulant. I could switch the two and start drinking coffee, going out, drinking coffee, having a little bit of weed with my coffee. Yeah. Instead of smoking those tar-filled cigarettes. Dude, get a coffee maker. Find a type of coffee you like. Instead of smoking those, those are filled. Dude, get a coffee maker, find some type,

find a type of coffee you like, find some creamer you like, and then just, uh, just instead of a cigarette, go outside and have coffee because, uh, nicotine is a stimulant suppress your appetite. Caffeine is a stimulant suppress your appetite.

When you take Adderall, you know, you don't eat all day. That's cause that's a stimulant. Did you also know that caffeine, why is there like a sourness to this? That could just because it's done. It's the, it's just the brew type.

Different types of beans and different roasts have different flavors. I like coffee because at first I thought all coffee was the same. And then I realized like depending on the beans, where they're from, how they're grown, how it's roasted. Coffee has like all these different little notes. Like I taste orange. I taste hibiscus. I'm going to ask you something and then I'm going to ask Jackson something. Matt, what's a coffee you recommend?

Well, I don't really have any brands. Well, there are brands I like, but I like specifically I do Ethiopian coffee a lot. I like Kenyan coffee. African coffee is really good, but Jackson could probably blow me out of the water with this. Okay, Jackson. There's a couple really good brands I could name, but Jackson will probably. Now, Jackson, we are about to give you some more allotted time on the Super Mega Cast. Do 15 seconds to make it an even minute of speaking time.

You think that's fair? You're not going to go over. This is me helping you. This is not self-promotion. Okay, hold on. Let me get my. I not going to go over. This is me helping you. This is not self-promotion. Yeah, okay. Hold on. Let me get my I'm going to Make sure he knows when you started. You don't want to stop.

I don't want to cheap you out of your time that we give you. Wait, wait, wait. I haven't not started. And to make sure he doesn't go, I'm actually going to set a timer. I will say, I'm going to leave a few open-ended questions for Ryan that he can have a rebuttal to. Ready? And go. So, it. Don't. Ready?

Yeah, 15 seconds. And go. So, it really depends on what you like, because as Matt said, there's different kinds of beans and things like that, and it's largely based on region. I think you should get a cheap pour-over kit, like an AeroPress or something like that. Basically, Ethiopians and Kenyans are my two favorites. Ethiopians are very fruity, going to be much lighter and delicate, whereas the Kenyans... Rich.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that was Jackson. Yeah. If he really makes... If he writes an ad read for his shit, I'll read it. But he has to pay us. Okay, yeah. I think that's fair. He has to pay us equivalent to the amount the business is for their time.

So, like, if he wants to pay us less for, like, a 15-minute ad read... I'm thinking about maybe doing a poop reveal video. Okay. I might thinking about maybe doing a poop reveal video. Okay. I might do a poo reveal. We do an unboxing video except it's just like a human piece of shit in a cardboard box

and you pick, whoa. Wow. I'll do an unboxing but it's just a toilet with the lid down and when I open it up, it's like,

all right, what do we have here? Reach in and like pull it out. See, that's what the people want. See that right there, yeah. I remember when I was in,

when I was a freshman in college, I had a brownie in my backpack and i went pretty far for this this was a bit i did uh over snapchat to some friends uh before i knew you but it was it was a bit but i was like i'm gonna commit to this bit so i took the brownie and i molded it to look like a piece of shit and i went into a public bathroom and i put it in the toilet with some toilet paper and i filmed a snapchat where i found it and the toilet with some toilet paper and then I filmed a Snapchat where I found it and I reached in and pulled it out like with my bare hand and kind of like squished it around a little bit and I just sent it to everyone on my Snapchat list so everyone thought

I just reached in and grabbed like a real piece of shit out of the toilet it's gross because I still reached into a public toilet but yeah I mean you know hands can be washed I can't think of a better way because we were talking about how some people when we post stuff that doesn't have poopoo humor, they don't like it. You know, what a better way for them. Let's end this episode with with some poopoo.

So if you could add, you know, you don't need to add anything. I actually have to go take a shit right now. If you can find some sort of thing to put at the end that would make the fart. Because, you know, everyone laughs at farts. Everyone does. And people that say farts aren't funny, that's not true. Farts are funny. You're just an asshole if you don't think farts are funny.

I laugh at farts. I'm not kidding. Like, everyone thinks they're funny. And if someone's farts aren't funny, it's like, then they're a sociopath. 100% a sociopath. Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for supporting us and you guys are epic and I love all of you equally

unless you're a pedophile. Yes, pedophile fans, that's a no-no. So thank you guys so much. Love you all. Love the support. Thank you for the kind comments and kind words and we'll see you next week. Bye. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard

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