supermegashow - EP 215 - Babies Can't Drown

Episode Date: October 21, 2020

In this one we talk about some TV shows, Larry King's shoulders, and whether or not babies can swim. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels. The perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go. Like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Well, well, well, Mr. President. Mm-hmm.

Looks like you've slept with my wife again. Mm-hmm. Looks like you've slept with my wife again. Mm-hmm. Now I'll have to take this gun and empty out the clip and salute you with a sign of respect of male dominance. Mr. President Trump, thank you for fucking our wives. This message is brought to you by the Republican Party. Hey, guys, welcome to episode 215 of Super Mega Cast. What's up, ladies and gents and germs and fucking freaks. Just chilling, you know, just, we're just out here big-booling today, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. We're recording this one pretty early compared to when it comes out. We are. It is being recorded like three weeks before it comes out. I know. It's because we're just that prepared. I know.

We're that ahead of the curve in our work schedule. That's exciting. We got everything that we ever promised done so we were like, man, I guess we could start working on things

like that far ahead. Yeah, but we don't get our ad reads that far ahead so we'll still have to wait to read those. But you'll get them like in real time yeah during this podcast just we currently um uh need them and i and i'm bummed because that's my favorite part of the podcast personally is the ad read so yeah because my eyes light up and all i can think about is money money money you know well i don't even care about the money as much.

It's more of I just like helping corporations and brands. Okay, okay. So for me, it's the money. For you, it's helping corporations and brands. I think we can come together and make a healthy, sustainable business. Yeah, it's a perfect business model. I want to give everything I have to corporations because they – And you essentially have.

I have, yeah, and that's what I will continue to do so uh yeah bum there's no ad reads yet there will be later in the podcast for you guys but we don't have the ad reads scripts yet so you know we're just stuck here why'd you make that face at me I was surprised that we don't have

the ad reads scripts cause I went oh sorry dude I thought you were I thought you were making like a like at me, trying to upset me. No. Are you sure? And now you're looking for one specifically. I can tell. You can see you're keeping an eye.

You're like. My intense stare. You're like, yeah. Are you trying to control me like a puppet? Are you the puppet master? I might be the puppet master. Who knows? I'm tired of these mind games, Watson.

I wish I could control your mind no i don't actually yeah if you could if you could control so i can control your your father's heart with a simple text i could break that motherfucker's heart that's not true at all dude with one text well and what would that text? It would be four simple words that would ruin his life forever. Actually, make it five words. Yeah? What would it be? I am leaving you, Dale. I don't really love you.

That is, yeah would that would cross him you want to text that to him right now yeah I don't think he has my number okay perfect alright who is this and he'll never

he'll be like what if he like tracks me down and like finds where I live some fucker from Columbia South Carolina is texting me

drives all the way up to Columbia. Alright. His number is... Let me know when you're ready. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's it. Okay, that's Dale's...

That's Dale's number. I need proof, because I can never trust... That is Dale's number. I'm not lying to you. I just gotta make sure, because sometimes I can see that you're giving me someone else's number. Who would be funnier than Dale? I don't know. Just let me... Take a peek. That's the number.

Call that number right now. I'm kidding. Go ahead. So what? I don't really love you? I don't really love you, yeah. I don't really love you? I don't really love you, yeah. I don't really love you. Damn dude. Okay, it's sent. Yeah, and I know that's my dad because he doesn't have an- he has an android.

He's one of those android freaks. Dude, my mom will always send me like videos. So my mom has an android, and she'll always like send me videos that she filmed on her android. But when they come through they're like this big They're really tiny. They're like the size of like they're like 10 pixels tall. She's a Google phone I don't know what my what my sweet mother uses, but like here if I scroll up a little bit you'll Like look at this video. She sent look how small that is and it comes in like all compressed and shit What's the video of?

What is this? It's her cats licking each other. And she said not everyone feels the need to social distance, which I responded with. Dude, your mom could run like a really like a good Instagram like for cats, like cat ladies and stuff. Oh, yeah. Looks like these two don't need don't care about social distancing. Oh, luckily I do. Vote Biden 2020.

She makes it very political and she makes this cat account like a super pro-Biden Instagram account. Dude, that's what I love. There's two things I love. I love internet cat memes and I love Joe Biden. Put them together. Put them together. Tell your mom to put them together and she's got the perfect soup. Internet gold. You've got internet gold. The perfect

soup. The perfect soup right there. Hom perfect soup. The perfect soup right there. Homelander? Yeah. The perfect soup right there, honestly. Well, unfortunately, I can't tell you what I feel about

the whole season yet, but tomorrow is when the last season, the season finale of season two of The Boys comes out. I thought this was about to be a Fortnite conversation.

No, no, no. I kind of have dipped out on Fortnite this season. In the a Fortnite conversation. No, no, no. I kind of have dipped out on Fortnite this season. In the beginning, it was whatever, fun, ha-ha. But this season was kind of, I wasn't into it. I wasn't into the superpowers

and all that kind of thing that was introduced. Yeah. Tell me about the boys. The boys, I really, season one was great. Season two was good. I'm really enjoying the show.

It's kind of like you know how like Zack Schneider tried to make superheroes dark and edgy with like Dark Knight and all that shit

yeah yeah yeah well this is like that done correctly and there's like a biting kind of there's a biting comedy towards like corporate and Disney

and stuff like that which is strange because it's an Amazon Prime show so but everyone's telling me to watch it C', which is strange because it's an Amazon Prime show. So, but... Everyone's telling me to watch it. C'est la vie. I think it's fun.

It's not like the next Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul. And I know it's like, well, you just named two shows in the same universe. Okay, I'll give you some other ones. Sopranos? That's just another crime show. That's the same universe as Breaking Bad.

I could see it going down the direction of The Walking Dead, though. It's this thing that's really good and fun to watch for its genre. The Walking Dead started off as a really fun, high production value, at least, zombie movie, but was a show. You're like, this could be a movie. I remember the first season, I was like, oh, this is sick. And and so i feel like that with the boys where depending on which direction they go they could keep it going and wear it out or they could tell their story and have it be this thing that people can because now the thing is with like game of thrones everyone you know how obsessed everyone

was right yeah you really hear anyone talking about that anymore it's not because it's just The thing is with like Game of Thrones, everyone, you know how obsessed everyone was, right? Yeah. You really hear anyone talking about that anymore? It's not because it's just fallen out of popularity. It's because that it ended on such a sour and poor note critically and through the fan base as well. And it's like in with The Walking Dead, you don't really hear too many people fanning out about it because it's kind of turned into that that show. But I guess you people are still watching. Yeah, I mean, like, but a show's success doesn't necessarily mean that everyone views it as, like,

you know, I think most people would watch it as a guilty pleasure now. They don't see it as kind of, like, something that's actually legitimately engaging in any way. I'd say a show's success wouldn't necessarily be number of viewers, but, like, I guess cultural impact, like, how much

of an impact it has like on pop culture and stuff and people's memories because I guess enough people are still watching Walking Dead and then keep producing seasons but I think they're doing the final but they're doing a spinoff show as well this is not the first spinoff show

they did Fear the Walking Dead and now there's another one I have no idea what it is I have popped in every now and then Not to watch the show But on YouTube to look up clips Where it's like Negan feeds Daryl his big meaty cock

And I'm like whoa I gotta see this It just got so goofy too Negan smashes Glenn in a group encore presentation. All right. I'm seeing this. So, okay. Season 10 is what they're on right now. It comes on today, actually.

The governor fucks so hard he creates another hole. His eye hole. Hey, everybody. We are going to spoil The Walking Dead. I would hope nobody fucking cares about this show at this point, but just in case you do, we're about to spoil

something big, I guess. So just fast forward until you think it's not being spoiled anymore. Bye. Dude, I, I, I, Dude, Rick's gone, right? Yeah, well, they like left it open apparently. I watched the scene. He goes away in a helicopter.

Yeah. Bye. Yep. He just got, I love it. The main character of the show just disappears. And then like, the show's like, uh, I don't know what he wants to go do. Maybe he wants to go be in the sequel to, what is that movie that you watch him in? Where the guy holds up the signs and it says words to Keira Knightley.

It's like that love movie. Oh, Love Actually? Yeah. Yeah. I forgot he's in that, dude. Yeah, he's holding up the signs at the end to Keira Knightley. Uh-huh. What about like-

Keira Knightley, she had that model face in every movie. She would do the like that dude that's like purser lips and pirates of the caribbean shit yep i know exactly what you're talking about yeah dude that you look like kira nightly open her mouth thanks man yeah it's good man but i i guarantee what they're gonna do is they're gonna like rick rick is off the walking dead rick rhymes yeah and they're gonna rick moranis is off The Walking Dead. Rick Rimes. Yeah. And Rick Moranis is off The Sidewalk. You know what I'm saying? Doom, doom, doom.

I'm kidding. That's it. That's it. Such poor day. That sucks that someone did that, though. That's horrible, yeah. But anyways, go on. Too bad for him.

Too bad for him? They're going to bring him back in one episode. He's in Spaceballs. I love Spaceballs. Spaceballs. I also, he's in Little Shop of was in Spaceballs I love Spaceballs Spaceballs Dude I also He's in Little Shop of Horrors Which I love Honey I Shrunk the Kids

Honey yeah He's in a lot He's in a lot of shit He was also in a On Ryan Reynolds channel recently For an ad or something You know I'm guessing The person decked him

Because he had retired From acting And they were upset about that He probably The leaked audio revealed There should have been A Space Boss 2! Dude, just imagine you're that guy that's like,

I'm just going to punch a random dude on the street. And you punch this dude and run off and you get home and you turn on the news. And it's like Rick Moranis has been like knocked out in New York. And you see the video of yourself. Did they catch the guy? I don't think they did. Did they not? I don't think so.

I thought they did. I don't know. I bet you the story would probably end like we caught the guy but Rick didn't want to press any charges he said we all make our mistakes

and he went along his way that's what I was thinking whistling to himself he whistles a song to himself the I'm Rick Moranis song love that one I'm Rick Moranis

he always sings that shit dude I know I do miss him, man. He hasn't been in anything in a long time because he retired from acting when his wife died, right? Yeah, she became ill. Yeah, or maybe she didn't die, but she became ill and he was like, yeah, I'm not going to act for a long time. He was taking care of her and being with his family. Very noble.

I think he said he would take a role. He's just like, no, nothing's crossed my path. He needs a new big role on a TV show. Because I feel like actors like that... He needs to be the next Thanos. Yeah, exactly. Actors like that can come back. He needs to be Galactus, dude.

What if they got Rick Moranis as... I didn't mean to say his name like that. Rick Moranis. Rick Moranis. That's nine. Is it Moranis? Yeah, Rick Moranis. Okay, I always say Rick Moranis. Maybe this is Rick Moranis. Yeah, Rick Moranis. Okay. I always say Rick Moranis

Maybe this is Rick Moranis You know those YouTube channels that have like how to pronounce every fucking word Do they have one was like Moranis how to say I'm just gonna look up Rick Moranis Talk show and then they're gonna introduce him right? Oh, that's a really good. Oh, yeah and then they're going to introduce him, right? Oh, that's a really good... So... Yeah. It's Letterman.

Moranis. Okay, thank you, Letterman. Dude, have you seen Letterman's beard now? Like what Letterman looks like these days? Yeah. He looks... Doesn't he have his own show, like, on... Or he did on Netflix, where he just interviewed people?

It's called, like, My Next Guest Needs No... Essentially, like, Larry King, right? Yeah, essentially. Like, uh... Is Larry King still fucking putting out content? Dude, Larry King is still... He has a podcast, too. Like, he's going harder than ever.

It's the Larry... He has such a voice, man. He does. It's an iconic voice. He also has, he also has like, God, dude, his posture. He reminds me, and this is no offense to Larry King. He just reminds me of a vulture, like in his posture. Well, yeah, because like his shoulders go up.

Like if someone were to, like, if you, if you like picked up and carried Larry King to a caricature artist in LA or New York or wherever, I think he's in LA. If you just plop him down in a chair in front of a caricature artist, we all know what that caricature is going to really shape him. We know at least what they're going to make more pronounced, I guess. Like where his head is compared to where his shoulders. His head's going to be like three feet below his shoulders. Yeah, and then it's going to be the shape of his head because he has a very interestingly shaped head, I feel. He does.

I remember I used to, like my dad used to watch Larry King, but that was like when he, remember that old set he had that had like the map of the world with the little lights on it yes yeah back back back in those days what channel is larry king on i don't know or is he even on tv anymore is larry i know he does like he does youtube podcasts he had markiplier on on two of them did he yeah dude markiplier has been on lar King. Is Larry King still alive? God, poor Rick,

man. Still on air. Oh no, from in 2010. Okay. So from 1985 to 2010, he hosted the nightly interview television show from 2012 until 2020. He hosted Larry King now on Hulu and RT America. He continues to host.

Russia Today America. Yeah. Politicking with Larry King. Politicking? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Politicking. It's not a word, so it's okay. Politicking with Larry King.

But it would have been cool if it was like The Politicking with Larry King. You know what I'm saying? He's The Politicking. Or just like King's with Larry King. You know what I'm saying? They could have called it. He's the politicking. Or just like King's Court or something. You know? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Like something with King in it. Yeah, dude. As he's getting older his face is becoming a little more He's old, dude. What was he arrested for? In December 20th, 1971 I'm guessing'm guessing dude rest in peace uh rbg he looks like her dude he could play her on snl dude they should get larry king to play rbg on uh instead instead of uh kate uh mckinnon they've gotten like uh kate mckinnon to play uh

did she play mike Mike Pence at first and then they replaced it with the guy who always talks like this on SNL? I thought she used... It was like a big thing where it's like, Mike Pence is being played by a woman. Oh, dude, you know that Mike Pence saw that? Or was it Sean Spicer was being played by...

Sean Spicer was played by Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was. Everyone loved that so much. Yeah. Queen by Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was. Everyone loved that so much. Yeah. Queen. Queen McCarthy. McCarthyism, you know what I'm saying?

Wait, where? What? Larry King was arrested. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What was he arrested for on December 20th? Dude, look at his mugshot. That's what I was looking at. December 20th, 19...

79. Let me see. Was it 79 or 71? It's not giving... It's 71. It's not giving it's 71 it's not giving okay he was arrested in Miami on December 20th 1971

on charges of grand larceny stemming from a deal I'm trying to it's not telling me like why he was arrested why was Larry King arrested oh dude he has a weak chin he was dismissed by the he was unable to pay back Larry King arrested. Oh, dude, he has a weak chin.

He was dismissed by the... He was unable to pay back money he owed a financier he was doing some work for. And a judge threw out the larceny charge, because the statute of limitations had run out. And he pled no contest to one count of passing bad checks. Larry. Larry

King. Larry. Uh-oh. What, um, what is larceny? Larry Larry King Larry uh oh What um what is larceny Larceny Isn't that what does that do with money Is it just stealing money Theft of personal property Why don't they just say theft

Larceny Get the fuck out of here Dude you're larcenizing me Stop Dude a larcenizing me. Stop. Dude, a larcener came in my house and took everything. Quick, police. Someone's larcening outside of my house.

Fuck. Police, please. Someone came and larcened everything in my house. Please. Goddamn, dude. That's a stupid word. I saw a live police chase the other night. Really?

I saw a spotlight in the sky, and I was on the phone with Justin. And Justin just went on Twitter and looked up like I guess police chase or the area or whatever. And all of a sudden it came up with like police chase happening right now. And so all of a sudden he sends me a link and I get to watch this. And I can see the spotlight from where I am. It's super close, like two miles away, if that. And they're going around and it was the weirdest fucking police chase because he just pulls into a 7-Eleven parking lot. And then like there's these other two guys standing next to a taxi cab. And then they like hold hands for a little bit for some reason and then they

hug and then they put their arms up and then one guy lays on the ground and then they all three get cuffed it was the weirdest fucking thing what i can't explain it was i was just like watching because he wasn't going like super fast he was going like it's like a 30 mile per hour like i love the car chase where they're still following the speed it's like it's like dude if you're if you're being chased by helicopters and the police you might as well just just speed dude once a helicopter got you you're done when that helicopter when that eye in the sky has get you in there get you in there oh yeah scope of vision you're fucked you're fucked once the helicopters got you because they're not gonna let you go they can't like what i guess you can pray that the helicopter runs out of gas

and you're on a full tank but you know i mean these are criminals they don't check to make sure that their gas is fucking they're the current outlaws of this day and age they're the cowboys bandits yeah and cowboys i saw uh i saw no whatever cowboy yells used to be what about cowboy yells that's like a confederate yell right there. Yeah, but like cowboys and confederates, you know? Close enough. They're pretty similar. They're like western confederates. Like desert confederates. Like you just kind of took a confederate

and put them in the desert and re-skinned them a little bit so that they could use the same character model and not have to make a new one. Just put some new textures on them. But I saw a car chase once. I think you were there at the game company's office in 2017 when it was like a guy stole a semi truck like an 18 wheeler and yes and we were all watching yeah because it's just a fucking 18 wheeler he didn't you i was telling justin this when we were watching the chase that he's done like you do you know

how many people actually get away from the cops during a police chase? Especially one that involves a, a helicopter. Very few, very, very few. Cause the helicopters is like,

unless you can like all of a sudden duck into like some Redwood forest, like that helicopter is a good old beat on you. I saw one where a guy actually, uh, like he let the other people out of the car because he would, he was nighttime. He turns his lights off and he goes into underneath an overpass and like lets the people out. And they ran into a neighborhood and they didn't catch him.

Oh, wow. Very, very smart tactics. But what about the car? They saw the license plate, right? I'm sure they I'm sure they didn't have a license plate on. But they could have caught the car and the getaway guy. Yeah. Just not the other.

I think they did get them. But the thing is, it's I guess if it's nighttime, you could just turn your headlights off. Would be harder for the helicopter. Yeah, but streetlights and the helicopters, literal spotlight. Yeah. Down on you. That's true. Especially since like they don't have to do like it's not like they're having to like jerk around the spotlight to keep to keep it on the car.

They keep it just pretty steady where it's like, yeah, we can just because they're at a good distance. Plus, they're going at a good speed. So it's not like the they're going to constantly have to change like the light and they're like, where is he? Where is he now? Oh, fuck. He takes a right. Fuck.

I lost him. Oh my God. Do you realize how fun that'd be to control a spotlight on a helicopter? Like how much, it's not powerful, but like just how cool that would feel like you're moving this light around. And you see the little ants look up at you to see what's going on. You're like, haha, little ants. I used to see in my old apartment in Glendale, I used to see all the time out my window late at night,

there'd be the helicopters with the spotlights. That's a super common occurrence in LA. I've seen helicopters with the spotlights on looking for someone or a car chase or something dozens of times. When we used to live with Mark at that house, you could always see him off the back. Oh, we had such a beautiful view of that house. All those helicopters. Isn't it crazy to think about that we technically were like, I mean, it wasn't how you pictured

at all, like when you look at David Dobrik or Team 10, but we were in a YouTuber house at one point. We were a content house before Team 10. We were. We were probably one of the first content houses. Yeah. Where we were just putting out content on different channels.

Yeah. I'm thinking about starting a new content house if you wanted to get on that. Nah. Oh, come on, dude. It'd be you, me. So Mark was kind of like our David Dobrik. Yeah, Mark was our Logan Paul. Yeah.

That was the Team 9 house. And we were like the guys who mouth, breathe, and laugh at everything. Just standing behind him with a really expensive t-shirt on. Guys, dude. Guys, you have no idea who they are in the video. Is that like the Tucker brothers? Is that like Jackson? Like they're those influencers in the videos with us?

There's mouth breathers. Jackson does mouth breathe. Well, he was screaming a lot in the last Let's Play we were doing. God, that scared me. Dude, that really spiked my... I don't know how the fans will like that running bit. Oh, I'm sure they'll love it, dude. It didn't ever scare me.

It scared me. Like instantly. It wasn't like for me. It was just instant, instant blood pressure. Just yeah, because it's just what it did. The blood pressure for me, too. But it also scared me. It felt like it felt like being on a long car road trip with a child.

Like that's exactly what it felt like. That's a really good explanation. Just like, oh, my God. Jackson screams are so piercing. Like that's exactly what it felt like That's a really good explanation He's like oh my god Well Jackson's screams are so piercing And dude he does that when I'm driving Just randomly? Are you sure he just doesn't have a tick I just got you

He's too embarrassed by it Just kidding man I'll be driving and I'll be turning Making a left turn crossing lanes Into a parking lot and it'll be quiet And and like I literally like I'm like dude. I could crash the fucking car man. He goes That's funny that your nose your mouth when you sleep both Trying to try I think I breathe out of my nose, but apparently breathing out your mouth is bad I mean you can't control your jaw does when you're asleep I'm trying to- I think I breathe out of my nose. But apparently breathing out of your mouth is bad.

I mean, you can't control what your jaw does when you're asleep. Like your jaw just kinda goes I breathe with my mouth open when people sleep my head back. When people die in movies they go They don't go They don't tighten up their mouth. Dude if I was gonna um If I knew I was about to die, I'd be like,

I'm going to make this funny for everyone that is lucky enough to witness this. And I would just, my last breath, I'd go, oh, oh, oh. Justin has a really good thing

of like right before you die to do. He's like, I don't know if he came up with it. He might have heard it on some podcast and tried to take credit for it. Oh, he's about to be exposed. But it's like, right before you're about to die, you're like,

quickly, okay, I buried five million dollars under... And then you just die. And so you just, where's the money? So that was his enactment of it. That would suck. I know, right? That's a really good way to prank someone. What do you care for? You're dead. That's the money? So that was his enactment of it. That would suck. I know, right?

That's a really good way to prank someone. What do you care for? You're dead. That's the ultimate prank, man. You're dead. Who cares? Yeah, you're dead. Who cares?

It's a funny prank. You can pull a great prank before you die and ruin someone's life with it, but it doesn't matter because you're going to be dead. Could you imagine I just, for fun, fuck up the relationship between my child and my wife? I'm just like, she poisoned me. It's like, what do I believe? Don't trust your mother. Mother, dad said that you poisoned him and physically assaulted him when he was in the

hospital. I don't know why he would say that, but like, I'm still like a very good husband and father. So like the wife is like, why would he say that? For the rest of her life, she's going to be like, why? He loved me. I wife is like why would he say that for the rest of her life she's gonna be like why he loved me i love him i know and it creates such a fucking divide i'm trying to think between my existing wife and daughter what's the worst thing you could tell someone on on your deathbed you're gay do you have your last words like your son just you're gay and then it's like wow my dad was a bigot he thought that was funny he thought that would be funny to die on trying to just just you homophobe and then he spit on

your corpse that's what he'd do yeah if he if he did that i want to definitely be cremated no no no burial for me i mean i can have a grave stone but i don't i don't want to be pumped full of formaldehyde and put into the ground forever. I'd rather just be put in a little box with some of my ashes. A little bag of sand. Sorry, a big bag of sand. Turn me into a big bag of sand, guys. And anyone can have some.

What I want is I want my ashes to be available to the public. I want super mega viewers all around the world to take a pilgrimage to my mother's house. Can I sell, like, as merch, could I sell little tiny vials of your ashes? That would be big news if you did that. Do you give me permission?

Yes. Yeah, I do. Not as a joke. Not as a joke. I give you permission to sell vials of my ashes because. What if your mom doesn't give me your ashes? Mom, this is, this is, this accounts. No, he was joking.

No, this is an official testament from, from the words of my mouth. I can share this with like a judge or something. If a judge or a jury's listening to this, this is my true intentions. I, Matthew Watson, when I pass away, I would like to be cremated and I would like for my ashes to be in possession of Ryan McGee. All of your for my ashes to be in possession of Ryan McGee. All of your ashes. No, not in possession of Ryan McGee. I want Ryan McGee to have possession of my ashes.

Let's say 50% of your ashes. Okay. Give 50% to your family, like your sister, mom, dad, whatever. Give it to mom. But then the remaining ashes you can bottle up into little vials and sell them on the Super Mega website. The remaining ashes you can bottle up into little vials and sell them on the Super Mega website. Or I could like put two grains of sand in there and then like just like, whoa, that's a little mat. Oh, yeah.

Can you collect all the mats? You can carry around a little vial and like have it on a necklace. I'd be like, yeah, there's a little mat right there. I like that idea, though. There is like cool things where you can actually turn jewelry into like little vials and stuff that you put like your loved one's ashes. Yeah, there's there's I know there's rings that you can make out of someone's ashes. And there's necklaces. Which is is really cool. But at the same time, it's a little freaky to me because I'd be like, I'm wearing I'm wearing my, you know, significant my dead significant other, my mom or something. And if I, here's the thing about the ring.

If I, if I made it, if I made my. Yeah. Do you just want to bring it up after the ad read? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So what I was saying is if I, if I turned like my wife into a ring and I, and I wore it, like it, it's beautiful.

It's very symbolic. But then like every time I do something dirty with that hand, like jerk off or like itch my ass, I'm going to feel bad. Well then. Because I'm putting them into like bad places. Then how about you put it in a ring and then like you put it on your like bedside table or within the drawer in a nice little place.

So you just have it. And then during events or if you go to go out with the family or you go to a nice formal event, it's like a nice decorative piece as well. Yes, yes. But it has a lot of meaning. It's like a dresser. And for the important times in your life. Would you, if it was my dying wish would you if i said i want i want i want to be made into a ring for you to wear i'd wear it i'd do it thanks man i wear you too if

that's what you wanted yeah i mean i don't i mean i don't care honestly i'll be dead like fuck my body fuck my dead corpse if i can yeah You give me permission. Yeah. So if I get arrested for this and I'm in the courtroom. Necrophilia is still a crime. Why? I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Because you're fucking the government's property. What if that's what it was? Not because of how morally wrong it is, but just because it's like, this is the

government's property. What are you doing with it? You're molesting the government's property. Yeah, that's not cool. But just for the record on recording, if this is played in a courtroom, I have permission to have sex with your body. You have personal permission, but you don't have lawful permission. Well, you have, okay. I can't give you lawful permission.

If, okay. How about this? I'm consenting, but I can also quit Super Mega. Give me about five years to become the police chief. Give me another five years to become like a senator or something. You could do that in five years? And then give me another five years to enact a law to where necrophilia is now legal.

So give me a total of 15 years. I'll be back on Super Mega afterwards, but give me 15 years and we can make this happen. I'll keep the channel warm for you while you're on your quest to make necrophilia legal. while you're on your quest to make necrophilia legal. Just get a... We should give Jackson and Carson their own little Let's Play series. Okay. And I just won't even be on the channel.

I'll just be in... Every now and then I'll walk and be like, hey, guys. People... Like, I've seen people ask before, like, if one of us left Super Mega or something, would the other one continue it with someone new or by themselves? No.

No, because it's not Super Mega at that point. You just start something new at that point instead of – because, dude, like, it wouldn't – if you weren't part of Super Mega, Ryan, I couldn't continue – it wouldn't be Super Mega anymore. I know. It's the same deal with why we parted from Syndigo and the Syndigo name. Exactly. You know? Yeah. It's not the same deal with why we parted from Syndigo and the Syndigo name. Exactly. You know? Yeah. It's not the same. When you have TV shows and then a cast member dies and they continue it on, it's because there's like much more than just like, I don't know, what that cast member brought to the show.

There's all the other cast members. There's the writers, directors. There's the showrunners. There's everyone that's involved. cast mates, there's the writers, directors, there's the showrunners, there's everyone that's involved. But in terms of like this case, it's literally just something made by like

two friends. And then when one friend leaves, because it's gone. The dynamic is gone. Yeah. Because the thing that made the channel was the dynamic. It's the personalities. And then that's gone. Who's calling the office? I don't know. People probably can't hear it. But it's obnoxious this phone's ringing in the

other room who would be calling this house uh last time uh the phone rang I picked it up it was the Trump campaign all right um hung up on that one and then the time before that it was it was like spectrum internet wanting to upgrade some shit the only calls this house gets are spam calls. Because this house has a phone number, but it's a... We don't use it. It's not like a phone. It's just for the security system. You know what I'm saying?

I know what you're saying. I was looking at your tattoo. We should go get tattoos soon. Dude, I forget that I have tattoos. Yeah, your tattoos aren't in places that you normally see. I never see them. So, like, this one, like, unless I, like, do that, I don't see the one on my leg.

And the one on my back, I never see. Unless I am looking in a mirror. Is it weird that you'll never be able to look at your tattoo with your own two eyes, just, like, directly? Yeah. You know? You'll never see it how... You'll never see how other people see it, because you'll always see it in a mirror. see it how other people see it because you always see it in a mirror

yeah but it's a part of my body and that's I think the main like that's why I like tattoos I like the designs and everything but I also like that it's like

it just it uh it's just a part of you at that point right it's like a part of your fucking skin which I think is really cool

which is what's so cool when people like our friend Chad have PewDiePie tattooed on them yeah but then they essentially have like a birthmark yeah you know I got Burke defect I shave a PewDiePie is brofist logo I want to get more tattoos soon and I was talking to my friend Lindsey and she was like well what if you what if you get these tattoos and regret them later I was like well I don't think I regret them for two reasons.

Because once I have it, what good is there regretting it, right? Because it's going to be like, well, it's here. Second, like, even if I don't like the tattoo later on, it's kind of cool because it's like, oh, that's symbolic of that time in my life when I got it. So even when I'm 80, I can look back at that tattoo and be like, I remember like this time in my life when I got that. I can't believe I got a hand tattoo on a whim. At least it's small.

I kind of want to get a finger tattoo right there. Oh, what would you get? Little cartoon eyeballs. Ooh, like two eyeballs? Two little cartoon eyeballs. I don't know. I have a lot of tattoo ideas, but I don't, I'm gonna get a big ass chest piece.

Yeah? Dude, how surprised would you be if I came in one day with Ryan, unbutton my shirt, and I just have you as a huge chess piece? But I use like a piece of fan art that's really good, but also like the proportions are all off. Yeah, where like the top of the head, like my forehead is way smaller, but they got everything else correct. Yeah, so it's like the shading and detail is amazing, but the proportions are off.

Yeah. So, and I just get that right here between. I heard ribs are the most painful place to get tattooed because of the Jackson? Sorry, I thought I saw someone No, there is someone outside the door. Okay, it's Jackson. I got scared for a second. I saw like a

like just a big black figure up against the door. Is he just listening in on us? I was trying to do the scare thing yesterday. We were just talking about that. That one got me. Which one? The one where it's just like a painting in the door. Oh, yeah.

It's like, fuck. I get mad with that shit all the time. Yeah, because it's... That's my favorite way to scare people is like, when they're doing something, I'll go in a corner, and I'll be somewhere, and then I'll just stare at them, and stay still. And you don't scream or anything.

It's even scarier. It's scarier because it's the concept of – honestly, I think it's an evolutionary thing. Something's been watching me this whole time? Like a predator is like watching me. It's a predator watching me. But it's – I think that's where that comes from. You know, like if you're a monkey way back in the day and all of a sudden you see a tiger staring at you through the bushes, it's going to elicit.

You're going to freak out. Yeah. So. Bye, Jackson. Bye, Jackson. But basically. Bye. Jackson, is the coffee here?

Yeah. Yes. A glass of coffee. Give me a glass of coffee, Garcon. But I think that's probably where that comes from. Like back in our DNA back when we were little monkeys and we'd see a big tiger. Oh, oh, dude, a monkey getting killed by a tiger is one of the funniest things to me. comes from. Like, back in our DNA, back when we were little monkeys and we'd see a big tiger. Dude, a monkey getting killed by a tiger is one of the funniest things to me.

Have you seen this? Many times in person. It's just funny. The way they hoot and holler. Have you seen monkeys killing each other, though? Dude, it's brutal. We've all seen that video where it's like, the most brutal chimpanzee colony. You know that video that I'm talking about? It's been, like, sent out to everyone. I haven't. You know that video that I'm talking about? It's been like sent out

to everyone. I haven't watched it. Have you actually watched it, Jackson? Yeah. What do you think about it? Kind of boring? You thought it was boring when the monkey was eating the brain of the other monkey who was still alive? I haven't seen the video. Or when they were ripping the limbs off of the baby monkeys? I was expecting

some more. Yeah, okay. Oh, this is good, dude. Sorry. It's actually a really good video. Yeah, I was like, it's kind of boring. I was expecting some more. Yeah, okay. Oh, this is good, dude. Sorry. It's actually a really good video. Yeah, I was like... It's great. It's kind of boring. I was like, really? Yeah, it's a little too bland for my taste.

That's a nice interesting glass. Is that a TikTok dance? Jackson fetched me some coffee. This is a Soulja Boy dance. Yeah, that's from Swag Daddy. Is it? Yeah, Soulja Boy. I know you're stirring it up.

It's called cooking, Ryan. Cooking. Now you're cooking. We should all get good at it. Yeah, it's the dance in 2010 where a bunch of dudes, they wouldn't get it. Show me the you. Show me that one. Soulja Boy, you.

Crank that Soulja. You. Yeah. Soulja Boy kind of created TikTok dances, you know? No one else had ever created a dance before, and he was the first one to come along, do that, and then TikTok stole it. And with that, thank you for coming into this episode of the Super Mega Cast, and we hope else had ever created a dance before. And he was the first one to come along and do that. And then TikTok stole it. And with that, thank you for coming into this episode of the Super Mega Cast. And we hope that you guys have a good day.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Psych. The podcast wasn't ending. Got you guys. It was just another ad read. I know you guys were excited that the podcast was done, but guess what? It wasn't done.

Idiots. Stupid idiots. Stupid videos. I know you guys were excited to that the podcast was done, but guess what it wasn't done idiots stupid idiots stupid videos calm Glad we both remember that Is that website still around you think? Is someone still paying for the hosting and like I can't imagine that website gets too many hits these funny junk still around yes Definitely really definitely stupid videos still around? Yes, definitely. Really? Definitely.

Stupidvideos.com Oh, there's a video in 2016 called Goodbye Stupid Videos. Stupid videos. Yes. Wait, I remember them having.com, like.com. Maybe that was another site. I don't know. I do remember.com, but that might have been from some shit else.

Oh, I found an article called Stupid Videos Relaunch. It's more like YouTube than... Oh, this is from 2006. Never mind. Man, dude, is it really gone now? Yeah. Fuck. What a legendary website, man.

This right here, this is the next tattoo I'm getting. Remember this one? Yeah, yep. Yep. I do remember this video God dude that shit was so good. I remember this one. I remember watching this with my cousin in the late afternoon one day in 2006 and cracking up. Oh, man. I've got skills. I've got game.

Ah. Mmm. Oh. Ole. Those are the same fart sound effects from the fart machine. Yep. God damn. Oh, this is the one that I remember, too.

Do you remember this one? Yes, with the old lady with the steering wheel? Yeah, of course, of course I remember it, dude. Oh, wait. We- we- we watch the same videos, man. Here we go. Just trip down memory lane, can you see? Yeah, well I can see, dude.

Dude, this is- this is a classic one. ...the top of the wheel. Yep. She's got the wheel? Yep. She's got the steering wheel, even though she's in the passenger seat. What? And then it just ends there. Okay, that's... Okay, cool. Why do they literally...

The video just ends before the punchline. I don't know. I'm gonna look at the... There are eight likes and six dislikes on this video. Probably because it ends, like, halfway through the sketch. Dude, but stupid videos was uh i mean it's true that videos were stupid but back then that was like that type of content like 2005 2006 like that kind of shit was uh back when we were we little young it's like that was

that was rare on the internet you know there wasn't as much as there was because youtube Because YouTube was created in 2006. And then it came. I want to be the very best that no one ever was. To catch them is my real quest. To train them. I guess, is it test or quest? It doesn't matter. It's my true quest. To train them is my cause.

Doo doo doo doo. I will travel across the lands searching far and wide. I can't believe they sued them. Teach Pokemon to understand the power that's inside. Like, Pokemon gotta catch a monster. Brian, it's done. It's you and me. It's done. It's you and me that's enough Should I ask Ian about that lawsuit?

Sorry I Wouldn't know more about that lawsuit. I Know it's gone. It sucks, and then they did they did the parody song about Right, they made a parody song. Yeah, dude I remember when that I remember watching the Pokemon video when I was still on YouTube Yeah, what's not the first video to ever hit a million views? I don't know I think I think that was the first video to ever hit a million Well, look it up see if you're lying or if you just as you normally do. Dude, I don't fucking lie

I'm not spewing bullshit from my trap, dude. First video to get one million views. I'll just call Ian right now. What's a Pokemon? They were the first channel to get a million subs. I know that. So today's marketing moment is a Nike ad featuring Brazilian soccer star Rinald the Rinald Dino that was uploaded to YouTube in

2005 it became the first video to ever reach 1 million views on YouTube and spearheaded the concept of a viral video that's much video no 2005 Nike like commercial Oh what dude this one apparently 2005 Nike commercial. Oh. What? Dude. This one, apparently. That's the first video that got a million views? Yeah. There's some dude trying on some Nikes. That's dope, dude.

Have you ever seen the first video ever uploaded to YouTube? I think it's called Me at the Zoo. Have you seen that one? Yes. Where it's just really poor quality and the guys like standing in front of like a animal exhibit and he's talking but it's super low quality it's history it's history it is it's the first video ever uploaded to youtube

how many videos are on youtube I wonder so many are being added every second every hour I think I was gonna give a statistic that I used to, and then I just realized I don't have it anymore. You have a phone right next to you. You can look it up yourself, numbnuts.

How many Let's Plays are on YouTube? We've contributed over a thousand Let's Plays to YouTube, dude. Isn't that awesome? I think so. I think it's pretty cool. You know what our goal, like our purpose in life is, Ryan? If you ever wonder what your purpose in life is, just know that it's, you know, in dark times like right now with the coronavirus. Stop that beta male smile.

Sorry, sorry. You know, we're medicine. We're medicine to a lot of people. So you're making people smile. Even though you and I are horribly depressed and hate ourselves, we're making other people smile. So that's all that matters. Yeah. Let me see how many

The how many cups in a quart? I don't know that Do you remember after you remember making like gallon man or whatever in school? Where it was like the man made out of like cups and courts and how many videos are on YouTube? Let's see Holy shit 300 hours of video were uploaded to YouTube every Let's see. Holy shit! 300 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute. 300 hours? Yeah. That's- fuck, man. 5 billion videos are watched every single

day. Total number of people who use YouTube is 1.3 billion. So... Goddamn, dude. And we have our cute little fan base, our cute little collective. Jesus Christ. The longest video on YouTube, well this is from 2011, this article, but 571 hours. Damn dude, do you remember when you couldn't upload videos past 10 minutes?

Yeah, well I remember feeling all cool because I got to upgrade my account way back in the day and then you could put like custom thumbnails on. Yep. You had to like unlock custom thumbnails and also you could unlock past 10 minutes. It was like gamifying it in a sense but all it was was signing up for AdSense right? Yeah. And also. Or something else at the time. I think their servers weren't obviously not as good so it was like nothing past

10 minutes please. You remember the video response days? Yep. The RE. I remember I do remember on Format24 nothing past 10 minutes please you remember the video response days yep the the re i remember uh i do remember on format 24 if i made longer videos always having the hardest time being like fuck i have to trim it down so it's right under 10 minutes because my videos like 11 or 12 minutes sometimes so i'd be like what do i cut out fuck um thank god that's not the thing anymore no you can upload however long you want four hours five hours our's Plays would just be like three minutes now. Imagine, dude, can we just start doing a Let's Play series where every episode is just three minutes?

Yeah. Upload ten episodes of it a day? I'm down. Let's do it. We just record for three minutes. You know, the ad conversion on that would be huge. I believe it would be. What game should we play?

Dark Souls, but every episode's only three minutes. No, every time we die, we end would be. What game should we play? Dark Souls, but every episode's only three minutes. No, every time we die, we end the episode. What if we did that? Like, Dark Souls, but literally every time we die, we end the episode.

God damn it. That would be funny. There'd be episodes that are like 20 seconds long. I know. There'd be episodes because there'd be like a span of like 10 episodes

where we're just trying to fight this one boss where it's like, oh, fuck it, see you in the next episode. And they're each only like 2 minutes like max I wanted to do I've said this before I thought it'd be fun to do a series

where it's where I play Dark Souls I've never played it so it's like the series is Matt you play Darth Vader Matt plays Dark Souls like for the very first time and it would be horrible it'd be atrocious the gameplay but I don't know I don't think I'd be goodrocious the gameplay but I don't know

I don't think I'd be good enough to play Dark Souls you don't have enough you know who's fucking amazing at Dark Souls is Christian he can beat those games in like two days the only games I played were from them were

Bloodborne and then Sekiro. Oh I forgot they did I forgot it's the same people, Sekiro. From software. Yeah from software. All the games like they have a very stylistic like their games all look the same in the

sense of like almost like they use the same engine. They probably do but it's like you can look at Demon's Souls, Dark Souls and Bloodborne and Sekiro and be like oh yeah I can tell these are made by the same company. Yeah. Those are games I want to get into. I just can't get myself into it because I know that it's just not good enough.

I don't believe in myself enough to play a Dark Souls game. Well, I think that they work in the same way in terms of your progression that a very difficult platformer works in, in the way that it's really just throwing yourself at it until you win. That's all, you know, eventually you'll get there. You'll learn like, oh, I need them. You'll learn little tips. You'll look up videos that'll have little hints and tricks to help you out but i feel like anyone if they wanted to could could uh if they worked they worked at it could could beat dark souls i bet you you could what was that what was that thing you said once where you're like if my father was given one week to beat this video game or else i would die do you

think what game was it see here's the the thing. Maybe he would eventually beat it. It was like, it was the whole concept where, for some reason I come up with stupid little things in my head where it's like, what if someone had me at gunpoint or something in this crazy situation and my dad was like, you have to beat Sekiro in a week. Your dad has to beat Sekiro in a week?

Or your son dies without any like outside YouTube help. You think you'd be able to do it? No. I'd be dead. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, no, but your dad has a history in gaming. He used to play that mini game in the Rocket Power game. Yeah, that is true.

What game was it? Darts? It was like some like a target where there's a bunch of targets and then they're smaller and you just aim for them. I love that is true. What game was it? Darts? It was like some like target where there's a bunch of targets and they're smaller. I love that, dude. Your dad's so awesome. Your dad's just so pure. Yeah, I love him.

Like you got a good daddy. I know. I'm lucky. Not too many people have good daddies. I definitely have a good daddy. I know. And we don't even rag on your dad because it's not funny just because he's so nice. I know.

That's the thing. Like my dad's nice too, but like it's just't even rag on your dad because it's not funny just because he's so nice I know that's the thing like my dad's nice too but like it's just funny to rag on Dale because Dale kind of makes it easy sometimes yeah he's he made it easy for you there was a good solid year where he there was nothing but essentially him asking

you to clown on him yeah essentially and he fed it too he did he threatened to kick your ass in a very early episode of Super Mega he did to clown on him. Yeah, essentially. And he fed it too. He did? He did. Like he threatened to kick your ass in a very early episode of Super Mega. He did.

Let's see. Has he responded to my text? No. No. I don't really like you. I haven't talked to him in like two weeks. So the thing about my dad

is my dad won't call me. I only like, I always have to call my dad to talk to him. So like if I don't call him like three weeks go by and I'll call him and be like I always have to call my dad to talk to him so like if I don't call him like three weeks go by and I'll call him and be like son I haven't talked to you in so long yeah because you haven't contacted me but but I get that I'm usually the one that calls my parents but I think that's more

on their end in terms of like I don't want to bother him I don't yeah busy that's how my mom is my mom won't ever call me anymore, except for when I'm recording. That's the only time my mom ever calls me is when I'm on a podcast or when I'm recording. Has my mom ever interrupted with a call before? I don't think so. The show?

Damn, that's never happened. I feel bad because I know, like my mom, she'll have a rough day at work and she's like, I just want to say hello to my son. And it's like, hey, mom, I'm playing Minecraft, you stupid cunt. It's like, ah, fuck. Okay, Matthew. This message comes from TD.

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we're just going to regret all the jokes about our parents. We're just going to feel genuinely bad about them. Like when they're dead? Yeah. No. Oh, they won't care because they'll be dead. Sometimes I think about that. Not that they won't care, but, like, I think my mom takes it with stride. No, our parents are very good sports. We're a little more venomous with your family, though. I know. Well, but I think my mom takes it with stride. No, our parents are very good sports.

We're a little more venomous with your family, though. I know. Okay, yeah, so my parents are good sports. Well, you're more venomous with your family. Yeah, I know. That whole song about your dad. I know. I've been thinking about making a sequel to that one.

Really? Called I'm Sorry, Dad, to make it up to them. Will the fan base get mad at you? Because they get mad at me whenever I talk something sexual about your sister when I'm only giving her compliments. People get legitimately mad when you start sexualizing my sister. I know there was one episode where people got so butthurt.

This one wasn't even funny. This one went too far. Like they were like mad at how you'd sexualize my sister. I was talking about her breasts. I had given you permission to talk about myize my sister i was talking about her breasts i was i had given you permission to talk about my sister you talked about her you brought up her breasts first or something i don't think i brought up my sister's but i think you brought up my sister's breasts and then it stemmed a conversation that i joined in yeah but uh yeah we're i do feel

like there was i just can't imagine being sam and feeling so uncomfortable listening to this audio you think sam's uncomfortable when she listens to those words? First of all, she doesn't. Second of all, when she listens to it, I can see now she goes, that's gross. That's it? Matt, that's disgusting. Turn that off. I don't want to hear that.

That's exactly what she would do. Oh, my God. Matt, why does he say things like that? Oh, my God. That's nasty. And then her husband would think it's really funny. Like, he would be like, oh, that's gross. But, like, deep down, he'd be like, that's funny.

He'd be like, that's hilarious. That's good. Dude, when Ryan talks about my wife's breasts, I find it funny. It's interesting now that all my entire extended family has heard the song about me having sex with my dad. So, and I'm not excommunicated yet. So I guess that is a good thing. You know, my aunts, my aunts actually thought it was really funny. They really enjoyed it.

Well, they, it was more of a, it was more of like a, like, like they had like a voodoo doll of Dale. And they were all sitting around it in a circle laughing at the video poking it with pins. People always ask me why did I make that song? People. Okay. Actually, here's the thing. Whenever I meet somebody new.

Yeah. Is it a good conversation starter? That always comes up. Like every time I hang out with somebody new, every time, the first time we hang out, like towards maybe usually towards the end, like, so I had a question. What's with that? That song really okay every time i meet someone new like for me they don't mention like of course because i haven't made a song but they go well you're the guy who beat sekiro on a let's play channel right i'm like yeah that's me baby well you beat cuphead in 10 episodes i did

i did i did damn damn i respect you but like when i met george for the first time he brought that up Well, you beat Cuphead in 10 episodes. I did. I did. I did. Damn. Damn. I respect you. But like when I met George for the first time, he brought that up. He's like, yeah, so what's with that song about your dad? And everyone brings it up. And I'll give a blanket statement right now. I was bored in my room. My roommates were gone.

And I said, you know what? I'm going to make the most fucked up song I can without, well, fucked up within the room. I'm going to make the most fucked. I locked myself in my room with only one goal in mind to make the most fucked up song I could think of. Yeah. Go on.

Well, I did. I was like, I'm just gonna make a fucked up song tonight. And, and you also knew it was going to bother your dad. Well, that's, that was a big part of it. Yeah. up song tonight and and you also knew it was gonna bother your dad well that's that was a big part of it yeah a big part of it was that it was it was funny to me because the content of that is so vulgar and i knew my dad might eventually hear it and it's just something my dad would despise so he does he does yeah and that's why it was funny you didn't dare singing at the charleston show when he was there no because remember't dare. Because remember when I said, like, I'm going to sing it, I saw him in the back of the audience stand up.

Really? Yeah, he stood up in his chair. He was about to walk out, or do you think he was making a joke? Making a joke. I think he was making a joke. I don't think he'd, like, legitimately, fuck you, like, during the live show. He brought his cousin, who doesn't know about our content.

Oh, they were on a date. I forgot about that. Oh, yeah. He brought his cousin who doesn't know about our content. Oh, they were on a date. I forgot about that. Oh, yeah. Poor Dale, man. I feel like there will come a day in like 20, probably like three years actually, probably

like two months where I'm like, God, I wish I'd never made all those jokes about my poor sweet parents. He's hoping you knock someone up so that you will feel the pain of a child that disrespects you constantly. My child. Okay, here's something that's guaranteed if we have kids. When they're teenagers, they're going to fight with us. And every time we try to tell them, like, be parents, we're like, you can't do this because that's inappropriate or something. They'll go, oh, yeah?

Well, on your YouTube videos, you said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I know what I said. They're going to use everything they can against us dad did you really say this during a let's play did you really say cracker during

jet set radio episode 2 did you did you really make this insensitive joke yeah well I don't feel like

I can talk to you anymore no don't no like that was I was a I was just a stupid fucking youtuber you know our kids

are gonna try to cancel us like our kids are gonna cancel us within the household I still don't know if I'm ever gonna have a fucking kid dude I don't either I used to have like back when I was in the south and I was like going to college or you know I was in high school

in my head I was always like you know one day I'm gonna have kids you know it'll be nice to experience Christmas and Halloween and all the and like I still kind of – that sounds nice. But I just – I can't fathom being responsible for a human life. And I don't trust myself with that. I don't trust myself with that. Yeah.

Currently. Yeah, because that's the thing is it's like also with the way the world is right now, I don't want to – I don't really want to have to deal with taking care of a kid among everything else. Raising a kid to grow up in a world that sucks, dude. Especially by the time they're older, things could just be completely fucking climate change. Those are our personal opinions, though. Anyone who's deciding to have kids now, don't be like— Go for it. Don't be like, so I'm thinking of having a kid?

And when I heard you guys talk on the podcast of how much of a waste it would be to bring our kids up in this time, it really got me thinking. Honestly, get an abortion. That's all I can say. No, but... I offer free abortions to every man, but the abortions

are double the cost for all women. How it should be. I just... I personally don't really want kids because... It sounds selfish, but it's the two decades of responsibility. You get one life.

You literally – you give up your life for two decades. But to a lot of people, that's worth it. Yeah, to a lot of people, that's fulfilling. But other people like us find creating YouTube content and Let's Plays fulfilling. is fulfilling see i'd rather be 40 uh making let's plays still that get 2 000 views over the course of a month of my friend ryan then uh seeing the the joy of my child uh loses first tooth or ride the first time without training wheels yeah i don't i just don't i i don't like kids i'm not pulled to it really yeah like i don't babies are cute but kids are just annoying dude like the screaming the shitting they're pure

nasty primal you know they're very just fucking like their brain tells them to do something and they do it like there's no thinking when a baby deer is born it knows how to walk immediately yeah like it you know like a baby play the saxophone baby do you know babies can swim

by instinct babies apparently if you put a baby in water it can swim no okay then that is not true then Jackson was fucking with me when he told me that JACKSON! thank god I- I-

okay guys cuz don't go put a baby in water hey Jackson! is Jackson here? Carson, did- did you tell me that babies can swim? who said that babies can swim? who told Matt that? Okay, Carson, come here, come here. No, you know, you throw a baby in a pool, it's not going to swim. It's not going to swim, Carson! Carson.

That's why babies drown when they- that's why they need floaties! If you wait too long. If you wait too long? What do you- too long is when they drown. What is too long when you leave a baby in a pool? Who told you this? Who told you if you throw a baby in a body of water, they swim? Please tell me you were just goofing on this boy. Guys, if you have a baby, put it in a pool and see.

Don't. You heard it right here. Babies can't drown can babies swim unless they're being held under hey guess what

what most human babies demonstrate an innate swimming or diving reflex from birth until the age of approximately six months however babies this young

can't actually swim due to their lack of body features and strength boom but they they demonstrate so you raised your eyebrows reading the opening statement, Matt,

and then you read the end and then you kind of got a little more... You clammed up a little more. Yeah, and it'll... Ryan, have you ever seen the cover of the Nirvana album? It's the same thing. Dude, it's the same thing

as if, like, you pinch a baby, it reacts. A baby's gonna react if it's in a new environment. It's gonna flail. There's no way it's gonna be able to, like to start to backstroke and climb itself out of a pool. People give water birth. Yeah, but they don't just give the water birth and then leave the baby in the tub. I remember taking swimming lessons when I was you.

We've got to get to the bottom. Yeah, when I was like five. The baby's going to get to the bottom of the pool. If you don't stop. When I was like five or four, I remember my mom bottom of the pool when I was like five or four I remember my mom and dad were like you're gonna take swimming lessons you're gonna learn how to swim and the funny thing is some of it was so traumatic that like still

when I think back to it I get like a rush of anxiety even though obviously now I can swim and it's not a big deal but when I think back to it I get this sudden like scared feeling because I always loved the water no I did too but I loved the water no i i did too like i love swimming and shit i love the water but this this was the type of swimming where it's like uh like where i can't touch they were gonna they were like swim to the other side of the pool

i always thought it was so mystical and i was like i want to try it i always was like excited i think that's where my fear of drowning came from like because i my instructor held me under once like i came up but she pushed me back down and i was like i remember my dad took me under once. Like I came up, but she pushed me back down. And I was like, what? I remember my dad took me to the rec center, the YMCA, to go practice swimming. And he said, he said, Matthew, if you can go underwater and hold your breath for this long, I'll give you a gummy worm. Did you get that gummy worm? I got that gummy worm after I went swimming.

It was fantastic. You remember being at like the pool, like with friends or in my case sometimes stepbrothers and a stepsister and you'd have like holding your breath competitions. Yeah. And you just go down and like just stare at each other on like – because you go where the ladder is so you can hold and hold yourself under and you just watch. You're just waiting for them to break. How long can you hold your breath for?

Over a minute or under a minute? No, I smoke. Oh. It's going to take a bit for my lungs to heal from the smoking. I used to be able to hold it longer. You train yourself to do it for like 10 minutes, right? Yeah, dude. I'm blown away by those people that not only can hold their breath for like 10 to 20 minutes,

but can also dive like 200 feet down. Tom Cruise learned. Really? Yeah. How do you train yourself to do that? I guess, well, I guess your lungs are a muscle, right? So I guess you can. It's all about exercising.

But also, but like, wouldn't your brain run out of oxygen in 10 minutes time? Like, how do you hold your breath for fucking 10 minutes? And also the people that dive down to like 200 feet, how does the water pressure not fucking crush them? Like, because one, like I said, one cubic foot of water is 60 pounds. So if you go down 200 feet, that's that much weight on top of you, you know? I don't get it. Is there anyone in the comments that can do that shit where like, I know a lot of people

from like a lot of Pacific islands and stuff, like a lot of native islanders can do that kind of stuff because that's how they survived. Yeah. And like that's how they were raised. I guess you have to do it from a young age maybe. Yeah. But that's crazy. We should try it. We should do a video where we try to swim down 200 feet.

Because when I get in a deep swimming pool, I can't swim like eight feet down without having to go back up because it hurts. Yeah. My ears, my nose, my eyes feel like they're going to pop. It's like, how do they go 200 fucking feet? For me, that was also part of the excitement. It's like, how far can you go? Yeah.

How deep can you go? It hurts, though. Or when you go to, dude, it's creepy at the same time. If you go to Lake Murray and you just start swimming down. Oh. And the ocean, too. Because then it's just an abyss. Like, Lurk Murray is deep.

Lake Murray is deep AF. Yeah, this part's where it's like 300 abyss. Like, Lurk Murray is dirt. Lake Murray is deep AF. Yeah, this part's where it's like 300 feet deep. Yeah. And anything like that where you can just start swimming down and it's black, no. No way. I always get scared that like an alligator is going to start coming up. I'm way more scared of alligators than sharks. Really?

Yeah. Because sharks don't really attack people that often, but alligators will. Like if you're swimming in a lake, especially saltwater crocs in like Australia. Yeah. Mean motherfuckers. Like those things are looking for food where sharks, uh, what's the thing? Like they never intentionally attack humans. I'm sure sometimes they're hungry.

Yeah. But, but it's, I think it's a lot more rare to get attacked by a shark than a fucking, like if you're swimming in a lake in South Carolina and there's a lot of alligators in there. No, no, no, no. Those are dinosaurs, dude. I don't fuck with those. So are sharks. Sharks have been around longer than trees.

Yeah. That's crazy. Have they really? Yeah. They've been around longer than trees. They haven't really changed much, right? Except for getting smaller. Yeah.

Everything used to be so big. Yeah. We figured out it was because of oxygen and then like less oxygen wait really? yeah oh shit yeah because I was wondering why back then like rodents were like the size of dogs

or like dinosaurs they were so fucking big like what's that big now besides like a whale giraffe, an elephant a rhinoceros yeah but those are even small compared to a lot of the things back then so yeah you'd be surprised though if you stood next to one of those things how like you'd be you'd be pretty you'd be humbled pretty quick yeah they're big they're big elephants will

throw you with their trunk they got tusks like that's fucking cool elephants one of the weirdest looking like if i was an alien and came to Earth and looked at different species, I think elephants are one of the weirder looking ones. Mammoths were how big were mammoths? Big. Were they as big as elephants? I think they were bigger. Double the size. I think they were bigger. I want to I wonder if they're in our lifetime

if they're ever going to be able to revive any extinct species with DNA. That is crazy to think that like woolly mammoths were just ice elephants. Because elephants just live in, like, hot deserts and shit, right? Or they live in, like, the jungles. Yeah, like savannas. That's funny how, like, there's, like, different.

It's like in a video game. There's different variations. Like the Confederates and the Cowboys. Like there's ice elephants. Did you say Confederates and the Cowboys? Yeah, like I was saying earlier. Like Confederates aren't that different from Cowboys. They just re-skinned them. So you have to make a new character model yeah dude mammoths look a lot bigger yeah dude look at look at the size of that skull those tusks they would hunt those dude oh they're so cool looking dude they don't have ears like

elephants do they have uh what little ears right yeah they're kind of creepy like have you never seen ice age bro no i've of course i've seen ice age it's just like the more i stare at a mammoth the more i'm kind of freaked out by it like they're just uh very weird looking what is is like a giraffe in the same like animal family is like a horse or like a gazelle or some shit? It has to be. Let me see. Giraffe day. What is a giraffe more closely linked to, I guess?

It looks like it has to be like, well, I mean like deer and stuff. Those got to be related to horses, right? Yeah. Hold up. Family of ruminant artiodactyl mammals. Which are, like, similar to or closely related to... How about I just look up if it's a giraffe

related to horses? Because their faces look pretty similar. Is giraffe related to horses? Spelled related wrong. They're both mammals, but giraffes are closer related to okapi than other even-toed ungulates like cows and deer. Thus, giraffes are more

closely related to pigs than horses, albeit very distantly. The closest relative to horses are zebras and asses. Ha ha ha! Donkey! You know? Yeah, dude. I love, um... So that's interesting. They're more closely related to pigs. Dude, you know what?

I would have never guessed. You know what I found out was like the most closely related thing to shrimp that made me not want to eat shrimp for a long time when I was a kid? Cockroaches? Roly polies. Oh, really? Pill bugs, yeah. They're both like fossil-esque. Yeah.

What are they called? They're called something. The type? Ceplopods? Not ceplopods. That's like squids and stuff. They're called, um, fuck,opods? Not cephalopods. That's like squids and stuff. They're called... Fuck, dude.

There's a name for it. Because roly-polies, I was looking at one the other day in my yard. They look like the things in the... Like trilobites, like in the ocean. They look like those exactly. It is an isopod. Okay, isopod. That's so funny.

Yeah, it's just like a land one of those that just evolved and got real small. I used to I used to love picking those up. Dude, they're so cool, man. Finger in that butthole. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Careful, dude. Careful, dude. Whoa. There's a lot of pressure

there. Don't let go. Don't let go. We'll see you all guys next week. Uh, goodbye! Matt!