supermegashow - EP 222 - Potty Mouths

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

We call Justin, tell some great bathroom stories, and Matt ruins someone's christmas. Get Honey for free at Join Honey.com/MEGACAST. That’s Purple dot com slash supermega10, promo code supermega10, for 10% off any order of $200 or more. Get started on your personalized self-care routine by going to Hawthorne.co and use promo code supermega to get 10% off your first purchase. EXPRESSVPN.com/SUPERMEGA, you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free! Fet 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/supermega  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Woo! Welcome, one and all. Yeah. Before we get into this episode...

We made a promise. We made a promise uh in the last episode i was also wrong he did i thought if you remember okay we did it we we got a matt got a cameo from dan i ordered a 100 cameo from from danny sexbang for my meemaw who was going bald and wanted to know how she could get her hair like his wig yeah Yeah. And he did respond to the cameo and sent a rather long one where he does. Pretty lengthy, yeah. He proves his hair is real and everything. But the full thing is going to be up on our Patreon.

So here's a little preview. Hi, Meemaw. How you doing? This is a message from myself and Matt. Matt tells me that you're a big fan of nsp and have been since the beginning which is amazing to me i love that we're using danny uh like to profit like like and he has no idea we're just putting him on our patreon will we make over a hundred dollars to get the money back from doing his like Like, will enough people join the Patriot? I guess so.

You motherfuckers! You're using me for money! What if one day we just get like... You're using you for money, Dan! Yeah, why can't I use you for money? Ah, fuck! I'm suing myself! I'm using myself! I didn't think about living in a capitalist society that could cause me to rethink my whole life!

And then Brent goes, Whoa, but Danny, there's no ethical consumption under capitalism. Oh, you're right. In fact, I've been reading this book written by Ronald Reagan, who was a big proponent of anti-capitalist measures. Mm-hmm. I would, uh, Ryan, actually, um, I hope Danny sues us.

Like we just get a letter in the mail from a lawyer. Like Danny just takes us to court. I mean, like, I guess he could win pretty easy. Like that probably. How? Yeah, I guess there's nothing that says we can't. You paid for it. It is yours.

It is your property. I, I exchanged money for, for that. You're not selling it.'m not selling it it happens to be and you're selling it for less than it's worth it's behind a pay so isn't that not illegal like the patreon's only five dollars a month so that's a pretty good deal to go watch a hundred dollar cameo of danny sex bank talking to my meemaw but like if you pay for something and then you charge a higher price for it, isn't that fucked up? That's scalping.

It's better to like, you know, charge people less, which is effectively what you're doing by having them just charge their time. See, what I'm doing is a good thing. I'm doing it for the people. See, I wanted people to be able to see this for $5, literally 5% of what I paid.

And because I am that I'm, I'm wholesome, man. And I care about you are a wholesome chunk. So I will let, I will let, you know, I'm willing to take the bullet on this one and do this for everyone.

My favorite part about that was that it literally said booked by Matt Watson. He didn't notice. He didn't even check. Two, two, two. So did we're supposed to do something this episode? Wasn't there supposed to be a pee-pee episode?

When was the pee-pee episode supposed to be? Wait, did we say the episode? Dude, I forgot. Yeah, we are supposed to do the pee-pee episode. We did the poo-poo episode. But is it supposed to be for 2-2-2? Let me just look up Super Megacast episode 2-2-2. To see if anything pops.

I don't think we're that big that anything will pop up. I just want to know, like, if maybe someone mentioned online, like, oh, they have to. I haven't seen anything at all. Wait, let me just search Super Mega Cast the PP episode. That'll get me my answers. The PP episode. Yep. Let's see no i'm not seeing anything man no well i mean i guess we're we're clear unless you know we'll have to make an apology episode yeah for the pp episode if we missed it yeah but we tried we tried if this was supposed to be the

pp episode or any other special episode. We're sorry. We tried. And I frankly don't want to go sit down and listen to hours of my own voice just to figure out if this one's supposed to be called the pee-pee episode. Yeah. So I hope it didn't ruin anyone's day. There's one dude out there just, God damn it! Fuck, I was waiting for this! Let me guess, you're going to talk about Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders again? No.

Yeah, actually, I got a really good impression of Donald Trump I wanted to do. I'm kidding. Basically, dude, it's almost Christmas. I mean, kinda. I mean, we're getting almost into the middle of December. I know. So quick. I know.

November's, see ya. I got a Christmas tree last night. Nice. I have to still get mine out of the closet. Oh. Are you a fake Christmas tree guy? Not usually, but I was rushed last year because I wanted to take a picture of Lego

with a Christmas tree and I couldn't go out for whatever reason. I just ended up getting that one and I wanted to take a picture with him next to the tree. And I did. For me, myself. I didn't share it with anyone. Really? Just for you? Yeah, just for me. You should frame it. I should, actually. You got some good wall space

to put some pictures of Lego on. I have so much wall space. And then, um... I could put the Super Mega posters up. So I still have that. Just with COVID, I'm not going to go out and get a tree from a tree lot or anything. Yeah, so I went to the Home Depot actually the same one that we went to in our Christmas video

yeah and I went through do they recognize you? you're the guy that bought the tree you're from Super Mega your hair's blonde now and I I like Douglas furs you know there's a lot of different types there's like noble fur Douglas fur all the you know different types I like Douglas firs. You know, there's a lot of different types. There's like noble fir, Douglas fir, all the different types.

I like Douglas fir because that's just usually what my family used to get. The big fat ones? I'm used to it. Yeah, I'm comfortable with it. So they didn't have the best selection. I'm not going to lie. They seemed a little dry and a little bit not super full. But I tried to find the best one I could.

And I did find a nice... Just point the unfulfiled side at the wall, right? Yeah. So I got a nice, like, it said 7 slash 8 foot, and in my living room where it's going, I have pretty high ceilings, right? Like, maybe like 9 feet, you'd say. Like, 9, 10 feet ceiling.

Enough to fit you tall boys, that's for sure. And enough to definitely fit a tall Christmas tree. So, you know, I get get that tree i carry it over and uh this guy comes over and he asked me my name because he has to write it on the little like card that's on the tree uh so he does he writes matt and then they they throw my my tree through the thing and put all the the binding like string on it and then they're like all all right, uh, do you want us to help you put on your car? I was like, yeah, sure. So I look and I see, I see my name, uh, on the tag and they carried out to my car. And, um, this very nice man spends like 15 minutes trying to help tie it up. It just took a really long time, but that was fine. I didn't mind it

cause he was doing it and it was nice. Um. But then about like seven or eight minutes into that, I was like, this tree like eight feet. It doesn't look eight feet. And then I was like, wait a second. Did they put the wrong tree on your car? And I look at the tag and it doesn't say Matt. It says Mark. And I was like, fuck, wait, Mark Fischbach?

It was Markiplier's Christmas tree. They accidentally gave me Markiplier's Christmas tree. They accidentally gave me Markiplier's Christmas tree. No, but basically, like, he had already spent like seven minutes tying it. And I was like, I'm not going to make him untie it and take it back. So you took Mark's Christmas tree. Yeah, so I just took Mark's Christmas tree. Mark specifically chose that tree. I know know but he

got an eight foot tree now also i paid for an eight foot tree that was a six foot tree so or maybe they're like well we can't seem to find your tree mark well we got this small one that was supposed to go to matt or the larger one you can pay a little extra and so now he has to pay like a few extra bucks you know i hope they gave it to him for free because uh dude I'm serious but the name was so scribbled it didn't even look like Mark I had to like look at it for a second to like make sure it actually said Mark it was like M-A

it had been like two little like angular scribbles so you stole this man's Christmas tree I did yeah because dude I didn't want to make the poor employee you know who else steals Christmas trees? who? the Grinch the Grinch steals Christmas trees Matthew are you continuing the Grinch now because I stole Mark's Christmas tree? I'm just saying, you know, put one to one. If it quacks like a duck, it fucks like a duck.

It's a duck. I got in the car and I was like... Is that the saying? Is that the saying? If it fucks like a duck? No, if it quacks like a duck, if it fucks like a duck, it's a duck. Only one way to find out, though. You gotta fuck that duck.

Yeah, exactly. I got in the car and I was like, guys, that's not our Christmas tree on top. That's Mark's. And they're like, well, I guess it's meant to be. And I feel like they're just like, all right, Mark, go pick out another one. But I wanted that one. You stole his tree. I feel bad that I stole Mark's tree.

You know when families go to like a Christmas tree farm? There were no families there. So who was Mark? I don't see anyone that could have been Mark. Maybe the family didn't come out together because it would be a little more dangerous in this year of the pandemic to go out as a full family.

So they sent the big strong dad. Dad Mark. Father Mark. Daddy Mark. What if that's like someone's like Grinch origin story, though? Like, you know, you know, in the Grinch, like how he loves Christmas. But then like this dude's going to start stealing other people's Christmas trees. Well, he's just going to or it's going to start a chain event where he's going to steal someone's Christmas tree. Then someone else is going to steal someone's Christmas tree.

It's going to end with someone getting shot in the head. Exactly. It's all because I was I was too scared to say, hey, man, I just realized this tree someone's Christmas tree. It's going to end with someone getting shot in the head. Exactly. It's all because I was too scared to say, hey man, I just realized this tree is not my tree. And it made it even worse because I was the one that carried it over to the car. Sounds like a holiday lifetime movie. But what

happened when he takes home the wrong tree? You took home the wrong tree. Like the tree talks to me. This isn't the tree I got. It looks very pretty, though. I put it in the stand and Carson and I threw some rainbow lights and some white lights on it. And it's much shorter than expected, but it's a nice little tree.

It's a nice tree. I paid for it. Why not brown lights, Matt? Brown lights would look so not good on a Christmas tree. And white lights look good on a Christmas tree? Better than brown lights would look so not good on a Christmas tree. And white lights look good on a Christmas tree? Well, it's... Better than brown lights? What it comes down to is...

You put red lights, I'm sure. Well, what it comes down to is the... Blue lights, green lights. On the spectrum of what's pleasing to... Purple lights. Like, you know, I've never actually seen a brown light. Can you make a brown light? I don't know if you can make a brown light.

Like, have you ever seen a gray light? Can you make a brown light? I don't think... I've never seen a brown light. You can make a brown light? Can you make a brown light? I don't know if you can make a brown light. Have you ever seen a gray light? Can you make a brown light? I don't think... I've never seen a brown light. You can make a brown light. You can make a brown light. You put brown film over a light source. But what does brown light look like? Would the brown not even matter? Would the brown make a white light more yellow

looking? I don't know. I don't know color theory. I don't know what brown light would look like. I'm a big dummy. We should light all of the rooms in the office with brown light. Speaking of being a big dummy, hold on. I have a right to wrong. Hold on. Oh, no. Did you take Mark's tree, too? No, no.

You took the second one he picked out? Like, God, well, at least I got this one. Hold up. Hold on one second. What is it, man? What'd you do? What did you goof? Did you goof something up big time? Are you going to have to atone for some sins? Yes.

Well, one sin in particular. Oh, geez. So just let me. The Magna Carta is a document guaranteeing English political liberties that was drafted at Runnymede, a meadow by the river, Thames, and signed by King John on June 15th, 1215. 1215, under pressure from his rebellious barons. When I said that it was the precursor to the Constitution, I was wrong in the sense that it came anywhere near the Constitution. 500 years. But I was right in the fact that certain ideals from that British document were taken into consideration through the Articles of Confederation and then the Constitution.

Yeah, man. It's all the same shit, man. Who gives a fuck? I'm sorry. And if I fuck that up, I have another apology to make. Next video. Well, if I ever talk about anything historic just assume that I'm talking about Lord of the Rings for all

intents and purposes there's no nowhere on our show's branding or advertising that says it's full of facts if we were a history podcast maybe I'd feel a little more that would be a big deal we're literally like just two friends that are just sitting in shooting the shit.

You're laying down right now. Well, I am laying down. I just want to point that out. It's actually pretty comfortable. You've been laying down in the past. That can't be good for your neck, right? It's not on my neck. It's on all the weight is being put into my arm right here, which I have bent at a 90

degree angle. So it's holding it up. My neck's actually in a very comfortable position. It's not like strained forward but dude what about the manifest destiny? Is that what it was called?

Manifest I think manifest manifest destiny was just the idea of manifesting your own destiny out out west.

It was the idea that God when we were moving out west people were God God was giving them the which is the American dream the right to right to take land and move forward. Well, I mean, we gave them the land after we.

We gave them casinos. What's the big deal? Got it. Well, I don't get why they're so mad. I don't either, honestly. I mean, I can't gamble legally in south carolina oh man yeah that's you know so there's native american reservation in south carolina but where's the casinos you know see they got the short end of the stick because you know they're

they're in a state where they can't do that. So it's like, God damn sucks. What is, what is the, Oh, I know what it is. Isn't it like, isn't the reason that native American reservations tend to have casinos because they are, they have their own, uh, jurisdiction and like laws essentially. So they're kind of, I think they're exempt from certain like us fiscal laws so that's why they do casinos

that doesn't seem fair, yeah I know what the fuck I would love to go to a Native American reservation I want to know the one guy that like walked past a slave plantation and just went this doesn't seem right something's off about this.

I don't like what I'm seeing here. Yeah, this is kind of bad. Oh, well. Honey, so I was walking by the slave plantation. Yeah, the slave plantation again. I was looking and it seems kind of bad. Yeah, I was going to say bad. I was going to say bad.

That's how it all started. That man was Abe Lincoln. He's talking to Mary Todd. Abe Lincoln, I'm pretty sure slept with a man every night and not with his wife. I thought that was just like something she wrote about. Is that a rumor?

Are you being a little rumor weed about our boy Abraham Lincoln? It's probably not true. Unless he has a sex tape or a photograph. Well, they can't have a sex tape. They can have a sex photograph at the time. They'd have to pose for the photograph for an awful long time. And they couldn't be

in motion or else it would be all blurry. So Abe's topping, right? So they'd have to pause. Yeah, so Abe's topping and he has to hold it. How long would he have to hold it? OK. How long would people have to hold for photographs? Here's the problem.

If he if he went soft while that that was happening, his where his penis would be would just be this arc, this blurred arc of where it started here and then went down there. How long did it take? We did one with Justin, remember, at the Renaissance Fair? Two. But was that like an 18 something on cause this would be like 18 let's say this would be in his younger years so like

1830s 40s something like that if you want historical information that's accurate listen to the super mega cast that's accurate. Listen to the Super Mega Cast. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can

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Uh, fix an image that was captured with a camera, but at least eight hours or even several days of exposure in the camera were acquired and the earliest results were very crude. This is in the 1820s. What? But like, how long did it take to take a photo in 1860? This would be kind of near his end. Golden era, man. Wait, the common exposure time was 15 to 30 seconds. Oh, okay. We're also shot.

These took longer. So let's say they would have to hold a sex position, go back a few decades, let's say maybe a minute or something. Let's say 15 seconds to a minute. He'd have to hold that position. So not too long. He could stay hard that long, I think. Yeah.

You know? But the one we did with Justin, that was fun. Yes. We had to stand still for like 30 seconds and it turned out so nice. We looked weird. He got to keep it, right? Justin? Yeah. That son of a bitch. Did he keep it or did we keep it? I think he kept it.

I can call him right now and find out. Yeah, because I don't know where it is if we kept it. And if he doesn't have it, that means he lost it because he doesn't cherish those memories. And those memories are definitely to be cherished. Yeah. His first time at the Renaissance Fair with his good friends. Hey, buddy, you're on the podcast.

Oh, boy. No, we got... What is that supposed to mean? Hey, man, I'm in the hospital with my grandpa right now i mean i mean you went oh boy i mean it's fine dude what's up okay we want people enthusiastic about our brand working for us but we'll talk about this yeah we'll talk about anyways remember that um photo we took at the renaissance fair where it took a while because of the exposure and we had to come back and pick it up later at a later

time period. Do you have that? Who has that? The glass thing? You do. Me? Yeah, you. Me as in me Ryan.

Ryan McGee, yes. Not Matt. Or you. It was in, yes. Not Matt. No. I never heard that. Or you. It was in that fucking, that bag that you, well, I don't know if you still carry it with you all the time, but the bag you used to have, the purse. My purse, yeah, my man purse. Damn, down to the exact location. I have no idea where that is, dude. I love Justin's memory so clearly.

He's like, oh, in this bag, you have that. Dude, I was about to say, because I thought for some reason you took it, because it was like your trip out here. No, I took... Well, I didn't throw away anything if it was like a glass frame or anything. Or was it just a piece of paper? I took the fucking copies of the disposable pictures we took when we went to... That is true.

The Hollywood... The Steve Irwin store. And the wax museum The little glass thing And this was not even like what This was like a year and a half ago You got some explaining to do Almost two years ago

It was May 2019 I gotta find that shit I don't know where it is Damn dude I need that shit It's in a video Okay Justin You helped pinpoint the problem which is me are you looking for the actual glass thing

or just the picture itself the actual glass thing are they separate no he means like do you just want to see the picture oh no no I know where the picture is I just want to see the glass thing yeah well see if you can find your man purse cause that was the last place I know where the picture is. I just want the glass thing. Yeah. Well, see if you can find your man purse, because that was the last place I saw it.

What the fuck, Justin? I mean, it's not even a... It's just a bag. It's like a satchel. It's a shoulder bag. It's like a mini messenger bag. Shoulder bag, yeah. They're huge right now. What?

You called it a purse. Well, I called it a purse because I knew people would make fun of me, so I tried to. That was more of a joke. I never called it my purse. I always said it was my bag. I wouldn't make fun of you for it. I wear a shoulder bag a lot. Well, I don't wear it anymore because only if I don't have pockets.

But I feel like we're getting off topic. How's your day going, Justin? That's fine. What you been up to? I just got done editing an episode of Jet Set Radio. Ooh! We recorded the finale, so that series is

ending soon. Yeah, I put a sketch in about us selling an assault rifle, I think. Yeah. I mean, you're spoiling the edit. Justin. It's okay. They never noticed the edits anyway, Justin. Justin. It's okay. Justin.

They never noticed the edits anyway, Justin. Justin, in the finale episode. Right. In the finale episode, Justin, I come in with a big glass of chocolate milk. And I'm like so into it. And I drink it really fast. And I just want you to know and the people listening that right after we finished the finale of Jet Set Radio, I went and projectile vomited that chocolate milk into the toilet.

Yeah. Jesus. I mean, I was leaving at the time. I just walked by the bathroom and went, gross, and then just left. Yeah, like I'm there like choking and like, and Ryan's like, hey man, are you okay? It's gross. It was pretty gross. It was gross.

I'm used to you throwing up though. What? I don't throw up around you that much. I mean, certainly more than most of my friends. I'd say I've been around you throwing up more than any of my friends throwing up. Yeah.

Well, Japan was... Justin hasn't thrown up. Justin's been a good boy. You've never thrown up in front of me. Justin doesn't drink alcohol. I never had to clean up Justin's throw up off of my carpet and put his nose in it. You never had to clean mine off your carpet. I've never thrown up on your carpet. Not yet. I always keep it in the

toilet. True. That is true. The future. Except for one time. There was one time outside of Nobu with our We'll get into that in a bit. I have to put my focus towards this boy and tell him we wish him a happy rest of his day.

Yeah, Justin, keep up the hard work. Hey, thanks, bro. Yeah, I will for sure. Yeah, and go check out Justin's hit new film, Kicking Things, playing on Nothing But Lag's channel. Yeah. Which isn't Justin. It's, you know, Nothing But Lag. We don't know who Nothing But Lag lag is very mysterious person that doesn't face

it's weird that you would plug that with me on the phone but since I don't I mean you know you could plug my stuff and not his well nothing but lag I think his humor it will just get back to editing okay buddy okay smooches I think his humor, it will just get back to editing. Okay, buddy. All right. Yeah. Okay. All right. Smooches. Yeah. Bye.

Yeah. Uh, that, that were just reminds me of, of, of a story. Um, a very, uh, morally sound man named Chad Roberts, AKA anything for views, um, was visiting Los Angeles and he, he texted me and said he wanted to hang out and you unfortunately were in South Carolina. So Jackson and I went to hang out with Chad. Good. And we did him. It was Chad and Scott and we went and walked to, uh, and Prezzo too. And we went and we walked around, uh, Hollywood for a bit. then jackson's like hey we're kind of close to a tiki bar and you know jackson so we ended up in this tiki bar uh and tiki drinks tend to be very strong

and uh we each had about three and we're pretty drunk and then chad's like ah oh i i i'm going to a dinner at nobu with uta uh so like UTA is, is, is a talent agency. Yeah. You're a very prestigious. What's the, what's the, you stand for? United talent agency. Okay. United.

They're like in the top three in the world. Yeah. So very prestigious. And Chad's like, I, I, I knew a lot of people that were, it was actually a dinner for the misfits. It was like a celebration for, they got a Spotify deal or something. And all of the execs that you and I know were there. Yeah.

And Chad's like, hey, you guys want to come to Nobu? And I mean, he just invited us. I don't think he was supposed to. But Nobu is a really nice restaurant. Yes. Like that's where like the Kardashians go. That's like a really expensive Japanese restaurant. So I was like, sure sure I'll go to Nobu

so we get there and it's like this room's big big table with so many people and All the food was free. They just start bringing out like Like appetizers and just like they bring out two cocktails for everyone at a time so they put two down in front of me and they'd be like on fire and stuff and I drank a lot of those cocktails because because i was like hey they're free and uh and uh yeah they love to get people drunk yeah and then i went outside with some of the misfits guys and they're like do you guys want to smoke a joint because you know how those all about i went out when i was when i was in australia you were sleeping and i went out with chad and

we just fucking they met up with some other uh people and they were just people ordering drinks and then oh it's crazy it was australian yeah australians do it a little different they party hardy as the stepmothers would say exactly so i was a little toasty from from all those cocktails and then uh i was like so i'll smoke a joint and uh i took a couple puffs and then um you got crossed as fuck yeah and i go back inside i'm just sitting there and i'm like who who is everyone who is everyone uh and then can you at least enjoy your meal like did you get hungry at least oh yeah the appetizers were fantastic it was it was all like rich people food you know like food that i would never eat like fr Fritos. Yeah, like Frito casserole.

No, it was all shit though. Like I didn't even know what it was. It'd be like some slice of fish with like some... What is this, fish? Star-shaped fruit. Only rich people eat fish. What the fuck is fish? Wait, this is in the ocean?

This is from the ocean? Crazy. You can eat is in the ocean? This is from the ocean? Crazy. You can eat things from the ocean? But I went outside. Moral of the story is... He threw up. Well, that's not the moral of the story. Oh, yeah. I went outside and I was sitting waiting for Carson Tucker to come

pick me and Jackson up. That's probably the one time I was unable to make it to a bathroom because I was on the sidewalk. You just threw up on the sidewalk. And I'm really hoping that the UTA executives didn't just look over and see me crumpled in a heap on a bench vomiting. I think you and I have done something worse, though, on the streets of Hollywood. What did we do on the streets of Hollywood?

Piss. Or maybe that was just me i don't remember we were walking with justin and then we just went off behind some dumpster and like pissed that was behind a dumpster yeah it was very close to the walkway that's true it was it was only it wasn't like the sidewalk but uh you know it's it's feeling a lot of people throw up because of the alcohol around bars. But you don't want people pissing or we didn't piss on the sidewalk, first of all. And there was no here's the thing. Here's the thing. You know, my classic on the sidewalk, because I feel like in South Carolina, there are so

many stops I could go to to go take a piss, you know. But if you walk around Hollywood, it's like I don't want to go to this fucking bougie bar. This business isn't going to let me is not going to let me use it unless I pay for something. For a $20 cocktail. The, these drugstores don't have restrooms for some reason. Yeah, dude. I do remember that now. I also, another time I did, I, I peed on the back of a Doll's Kill.

That, that, that store during one of the protests this summer, marching, I really had to pee. So I went behind Dollarscale and I peed all over the back. And then someone on a building across the street could see me from the roof. It was the protest about the whole, like, Milan movie. Yeah. Yeah. Huge turnout. And basically, like.

How the songs were taken out of it. That was the main thing people were upset about. And someone could see me and they yelled at me like stop pissing on that building and then i ran do you think they saw your penis no i was that sexual assault if they saw your they saw my back my back was facing your naked back no i was not fully i stood fully naked so i could take a piss i'm behind this building i like fold my clothes up and set them aside take a piss And I remember the moment and it was in middle school. Like it's,

it's cause you know how you have memories where it's like, I learned a lesson and you only remember that memory because it's a lesson you learned. I remember the moment I found out it was weird to pull my pants all the way down to pee. It was junior year of high school. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Dude, no, no, no. I was about to go so hard. It was, it was an year of high school. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Dude, no, no, no. I was about to go through so hard. It was,

it was an elementary school. It was probably like third. No, no, it was, it was early elementary school. It was probably like first grade or kindergarten, but I would usually go to the urinal and just pull my pants down.

Yeah. Everyone did that. But then one time two or, uh, it was like two girls just ran into the bathroom and then looked at me as i had my pants down and i looked back and then they they just laughed they laughed at me oh my god and like i don't know because they because they didn't i guess they didn't expect a boy to just his his ass just facing them i guess because they're they they thought the bathroom was empty

because i think it was like after school. It was like YMCA type shit. Yeah, yeah. But I remember that embarrassment caused me to always then make sure my butt wasn't showing when I was peeing. If that hadn't happened, man, you might still be in like a public urinal. What would you do if you went to like the arc light and you saw a grown man with his pants all the way down? It's hairy. Hey, you know, once shit's open again, you and I, like next time we go out, we should both stand next to each other in urinals and do that.

We should just be like odds are for the next week, whenever you're at a urinal. You have to all the way down. Whenever you're peeing, you can't use a stall. If you have to poop, you can use a stall. No, you have to use the urinal if you have to poop. We've all seen shit in the urinals, right? It's classic. We haven't shit in the urinals.

No, I've never seen shit in the urinals. Still, if I did that, just had my pants all the way. Would that be wrong? Like, would people be like, hey, pull your pants up? Or would they just be like, I guess that's how he pees. I don't know if anyone would actually have the guts. Yeah, they probably would. They'd be like, hey, hey, pull your pants up? Or would they just be like, I guess that's how he pees. I don't know if anyone would actually have the guts. Yeah, they probably would. They'd be like, hey, man, pull your pants.

It also depends on, like. I'm just picturing it. And you should just be. Look at the person that says it. Pause and then just go. Just scoff and then go back to pissing. Just go. You fart, but some of the shit just sprays down your leg a little bit.

I love going into public bathrooms and when there's a lot of people and just doing that thing with our mouths. Like, oh, I like if I'm in a stall, I'm just, you always do it when I'm like, I'll be at the urinal and like, you'll be washing your hands and just be like... Like, you know, everyone hears it because bathrooms are always quiet. No one talks in a bathroom. You know, it's like, how many

words are spoken a day in a public bathroom? Not too many. It's very, it's not a place for conversation. No. But here's a place for some ad reads. Man, pretty good ad reads. Yeah. Back to the bathroom talk. Back to the potty talk um might as well be the piss episode yeah i mean we're talking about piss i mean i went to i went to high school with this kid um that one day was like i'm gonna take a shit in the urinal and he he went and did it and i wasn't there for this. Like he exclaimed this? Yeah. Like he stood up on a table and just exclaimed?

Not on the table but he let people know. Okay. He was just like, he would be like every now and then as people were passing him in the hallway he'd bump into them and be like so it would be like this. Take my shit. You know like Breaking Bad when like

he'll like Victor or Hector, whatever his name is will like come up to him in a public restaurant and be like 2pm side of the highway it's like does that while people are eating their lunch drinking out of their little milk cartons right before third block urinal bathroom

yeah but he did it and he got a little crowd to come watch what so they gathered around watching like cheered him on as he got a little crowd to come watch. What? So they gathered around, watched him, and, like, cheered him on as he took a shit in the urinal. But the thing is, they're all standing around. The act of shitting isn't monumentous. At the end of the day, they're just watching a dude shit.

They could have done the same. They could have just... It would have been the same thing if he's like, hey, after school, everyone out in the backwoods,s come with me and everyone just got a circle around this boy in the woods after school and just watched him Take a shit on the ground. It's the same shit. What do you mean? You got a crowd of people? I blocked this out of my memory but basically this one kid saw it and you can imagine the janitor was not too happy

and then this kid the word got around the school and the teachers and the administration were pissed did they solve who it was? did they solve who it was? eventually yes there was a snitch

couldn't have been camera stuff did they solve who no no no well eventually yes he did get caught there was a snitch yep there was this one couldn't have been couldn't have been camera stuff nope it was I remember who it was it was this one kid

that definitely was only in there by accident for this oh um very like quiet kid um but

I mean honestly I mean good cause a janitor had to go in there and clean up some kid's log of shit in the urinal. No, I don't blame the kid for snitching. But basically, they made it like a public thing at the school.

Good. They made it like a thing, like someone did this in the urinal. And if you know... Every day on the morning announcements. So, this is day three of still not finding out who pooed in the urinal. There's a whole South Park episode about this. Yeah, laugh. Laugh about it. Literally, there's a South Park episode about this exact thing. three of still not finding out who pooed in the urinal yeah laugh laugh about it literally was a South Park episode about this exact thing

but you know he went to the office and he told and then I do remember walking by the office like two days later and seeing him with his parents in the office and I was like oh shit I know exactly why he's in the office and he had to write like a two page apology letter to the chair.

So what's this woods story? Oh yeah, I was camping on a church trip when I was a kid. So a kid was like, hey, come watch me take a picture. No, it wasn't, he didn't, he got me and some guys, he was like, guys, guys, guys, come here, to follow me in the woods. And we go into the woods

and we hike like a mile into the woods down this trail. And we come to this like ravine where there And we go into the woods and we hike like a mile into the woods down this trail and we come to this like ravine where there's a bridge on the other side but like a huge valley between he's like stay here just stay here. He goes on the bridge and poops off. He disappears like five minutes later he emerges on the other side drops his pants into shit straight into the valley

just a log just logs of shit just dropping and rolling down a mountain and then he ran back. Did you guys see that? he ran back sound effects as his cheeks are just spreading just shit across his legs I also remember

the next day we all went hiking and he again shit but this time he just did it in the middle of the hiking trail like ahead of us and cause he wanted to prank us like we'd walk up like oh man there's poop right there yeah so uh that was look i i i blocked that out but i did watch him shit off the edge of a like a bridge all right i'm not gonna lie i laughed really hard of course of course it was

very funny it was like oh like that video of the guy that does like the front flip into the lake or he jumps into the lake but right before he lands, he shits or something. Yeah, that's actually a very impressive video. The control of his sphincter, the muscles. Very impressive. Yeah, but that's enough for about the poop. Enough poop and potty stuff. Hey, the bingo board.

Poop, Breaking Bad. I haven't seen the bingo board poop breaking bad i haven't seen the bingo board in so long i don't think i don't think they kept up with it yeah i remember earlier this year seeing that go around twitter and stuff and we actually like at the first month by coincidence ticked off a lot of those just by pure coincidence but you got to think about it i mean the bingo boards create like they're the creator's life like has gotten you know covid's hit they probably have school they have paparazzi outside because they created the super mega how come you didn't mark this off the bingo board hey this counts this counts nudity come on last night i i got up at like 5 a.m to uh go get a glass of water from the kitchen

and oh man it just it made me feel so good walking out into my living room and just seeing the Christmas tree there, like with the little twinkly lights. I need to get the candles. I need to get the fucking Christmas tree candles and I need to set up my tree and I need to set up some lights because I need it to feel festive in my place.

I've been, sometime this week, I'm going to go Christmas decoration shopping because everyone else in my house is leaving for Christmas for like a month. So I'm just going to be by myself, which I've never been alone in my house. leaving for Christmas for like a month. So I'm just going to be by myself. Which I've never been alone in my house. So I'm very excited about that. Wait a second.

What? Do you have to shit? No. So yeah, I have to. So Ryan just ran out of the room. He had a moment where he squinted his eyes like he just realized something and then just ran. I tried to fart. I don't have to shit.

I just remembered something. You remembered something? He's going in. I heard a door open. Wait. What'd you leave at home? Oh! Yeah, your little Christmas present or one of them.

Yeah. I'll take a picture of me with him. I love that you actually like that. I do. Because I would have never bought one for myself. It's one of those things, yeah, you want, but you're not going to, when you're shopping at Target, be like, yeah, I'll throw this in my cart.

Aw, that's cute. Very cute. Dude, can you do another Facebook profile picture with that wig, but you have Baby Yoda? I took a pic. I'll send you. You can put it in the YouTube version of the podcast, Matt.

Now you have something to add. Look on the screen, guys. Look on the screen. He's cute. It's not bad quality. No, it's actually. You said it was 16 bucks, too. Yeah, that's cheaper than a super mega shirt.

Does it make noise? Does it? Hold on. Hold on. Yeah, I know. mega shirt does it make noise does it hold on hold on yeah i know is that your phone case now i know sorry he was he was just saying some things he was just telling me some things not about anyone well you were looking at me not about anyone particular side glancing at me while you're saying yeah i know i know what's what i did now dude we should just with just a mentally torment jackson on the office, we should start, like, every time

he walks in a room, be whispering and then just stop. We should be like... Just use the bass in our voice so it's like... Hey, what's up? Because he'll hear the... You know? Or, like, I'll just go, like, whisper something in your ear and, like, at the same time, we both look at him real quick.

And then just, like, I keep whispering and then you're just like, are you serious? Did I tell you? Okay. quick and then just like I keep whispering and then and then you're just like are you serious did I tell you okay so there was a time and I I was in class and I was interested in the sounds the I could hear from another room so like another teacher talking so like I would try I try it one time I tried to mimic the sound and I think one of the teachers actually went over to the next room to be like hey you're talking a little too loud and I felt bad and I think one of the teachers actually went over to the next room to be like, hey, you're talking a little too loud. And I felt bad and I stopped doing it because I was like, was that me?

Because the dude might have been talking loud because I was using it to do it, but I was in the class and I felt like she thought that was actually him. Sounds like they're in here. Very low-passed audio right there. I'm going to, for one of these episodes of the podcast, I'm going to put an extreme low-pass on our audio, and we'll never mention it, so it just sounds like the listener is one room over.

So it's like... Actually, I'll do that for the rest of the podcast. Fuck it. I'm really excited to go get some Christmas decorations, so I want to really go out this year and put the lights up and put the wreaths on my front door. Are you done? Yeah, I'm really excited to go get some Christmas decorations. So I want to like really go out this year and put the lights up and put the wreaths on my front door. Are you done?

Yeah, I'm done. I'm sorry. A little too long. Let's go back in the other room. Tell me, Mr. McGee. Okay. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Oh, so the new season of 90 Day Fiancé started yesterday.

How is it? And it's new couples. And there's this one couple is there an is there a is there a rose and ed of this season not that i've there is there is a guy dating a girl from the philippines but she gets introduced the next episode but there is this guy from tunisia who looks so much like you and certain shots and angles. Like me? My friend pointed it out because we were watching last night,

and they were like, that looks like Ryan. And it does. Like, from certain angles, like, he really does. It looks like, like, an alternate Ryan. And now that I saw, like, I can't. Is it just some dude with, like, his eyes very close together on his head? He's got really big, beautiful eyes. He's got eyes that are, like, close together, and then he's got a beard, and then he's got eyes that are like close together and then he's got a beard

and then he's got hair that he doesn't even that he may brush but doesn't like put anything in. He's creepy though. You're way more, you're like 50 times more attractive than he is. He's like ugly Ryan. But still enough still looks enough like me for you to be reminded of me. You can see like enough

like you know resemblances here and there. Just the general you're not ugly though. You know that. You're a little heartthrob. I got my little Ryan McGee collage on my wall above my bed with all the little cutout pictures of your face. And like cutouts from magazines

and from your interviews and everything. When's a magazine going to interview us? You've been interviewed by a magazine. Yes. You were interviewed by Rolling Stones for Ouch. Yeah, I know. It did get printed. I just never got to see it.

Imagine. Whoever's out there and has the, I forget which month it is, they can find it. I want to be interviewed by a real magazine for Super Mega. I want us to both. Esquire? Yeah, I would love to sit down by a real magazine for Super Mega. I want us to both... Esquire? Yeah, like I would love to sit down for a magazine with you and be interviewed. Playboy? They still write articles, right? Oh, dude, I would love to be interviewed by Playboy. About the two

biggest Playboys in the San Fernando Valley. That would be so fucking cool, man. Fucking sit down and be like, yeah, so they're Let's Players. They play video games. Why haven't we been brought on a talk show yet you know tiny meat gang has gone on a talk show i'm sure maybe um logan paul's been on a talk show from impulsive joe rogan i'm naming people who are widely more successful and and

and famous than that's probably the answer right there. Yeah. Logan Paul's fighting Floyd Mayweather. Did you see that? Is it boxing or like MMA? Well, Floyd Mayweather's a boxer, right? Yeah, but like there have been things where it's like Conor McGregor, for example, he's known for MMA, but then he'll go box someone who's known for boxing

and someone will, you know, it's just kind of like,'m so it's like I feel like it's an athlete thing maybe like a mindset where I'm so good at this I can use that and my knowledge on this particular skill to help hone this other one that I need to practice on I get why Logan Paul is boxing because, A, he emits a lot of testosterone. It's his kind of thing. Him and his brother Jake. And the money. Jake just won a big boxing match against Nate.

Yeah. Last name. I'm not going to lie. I actually watched a little bit of that. And Jake Paul's actually a really good boxer. Yeah? Yeah. They trained. He got a KO and i was like oh wow uh but floyd mayweather like in one match made 275 million

dollars in one night maybe i'll just knock i mean the thing is we become boxers i mean wouldn't it be worth it like in logan paul's head he's going fuck the guy first all you know i think i think we all can not we all can agree i've been maybe people are open to it i've been growing close with him lately so that's kind of hurts to hear you say that about one of my friends but like picture just being like hey here's millions of dollars and you're gonna get knocked out okay like he's lost a fight before he's he's he's he lost a ksi right yeah the losers still get money yeah a lot of money like a lot of fucking money um but i don't think it's all about ego i guess when it comes to caring about if you won or lost and persona also floyd mayweather i don't think

has ever lost has he never i don't think he's ever lost that's what i heard last night let me god let me look at that we we're doing more research on these facts than we did about the Magna Carta in the last episode dude has Floyd Mayweather ever lost let's see he never lost a single bout that's wait the

one fight Floyd Mayweather really lost but judges gave it to him anyway. Huh. Oh, to keep his streak? Yeah, how much? Isn't that cheating? Yes.

Dude, what if Logan Paul beats Floyd Mayweather? Maybe. He's only 5'8". Hey, we laughed at Trump. We laughed at Jake Paul. They think he could be like a billionaire by now they don't know his net worth Floyd Mayweather imagine making a billion dollars for

throwing hands I mean get really talented at it would you for a video ever let like a professional boxer like knock you out I'd fight back but yeah I would like I wouldn't do anything like when I say like I just wouldn't want to stand there like I'd fight back, but yeah. I would, like, I wouldn't do anything.

Like, when I say, like, I just wouldn't want to stand there. Like, I'd want to at least, like, square up. We should do a video where we get a professional boxer. And, like, see what it's like to be fucking donked on by someone. Both of us against him. Or her. Both of us against a professional boxer. A double team!

Where it's, like, both of us on one team. I'll probably get knocked out. Just one tap to the head and your brain's like it would be like real life john wick we get you me justin and jackson and harrison and all of us and we can all go in in on this person at once and they can just be like but there's no they're allowed to like no no punches held back like they can do a full like knockout punch on one of us yeah the only thing i'd be scared of is because we're all in such close proximity someone gets punched, their head hits someone in the mouth, breaks their teeth. That's why we

wear fucking guards and pads. That's, oh yeah. No. I want to do bare hand combat. No. Dude, I watched some of that on YouTube recently. I was bored. What? Like Russian hand-to-hand MMA where it's not like box. It's literally

just dudes with like no gloves on just bare fists and it was in a warehouse filled with straw with a spotlight and all these dudes gathered around and it was like professional but like underground still and the dudes were just fucking punch like bare fists just like punching and fighting but they were like following rules it was intense it's like uh those videos of like what's that one guy that we saw in Russia that would drink a shit ton? What's his name? He'd be like, ah. Oh, Ape Tour.

Ape Tour. He's Norwegian, yeah. Oh, whatever. Well, also there's like videos of like a Russian dude like coming out of like an ice hole and eating ice cream. A Russian dude like coming out of like an ice hole and eating ice cream. I've seen those videos of Russian dudes like swimming underneath the ice and then coming up and just having like a sip of beer. And it's like they're just like, what the how? Because like I get I get that they're clearly very cold, but they're like keeping a straight face. But I feel like at some point it's so cold you can't keep a straight face.

But maybe they're just dumb. They're probably really drunk. It's so cold they're like keeping a straight face. But I feel like at some point it's so cold you can't keep a straight face. Maybe they're just numb. They're probably really drunk. It's so cold they're numb. Is that why Russia drinks so much? Because it keeps them warm internally? Because when you take a shot of vodka you feel that warmth go through your chest. And when you're drunk in general

you feel warm and rosy. But actually the irony is that it lowers your body temperature. No. Alcohol lowers your body temperature no alcohol lowers your body temperature that's why it's so dangerous that's why hypothermia is dangerous that's probably the most

informational thing I've said on this whole podcast ever hypothermia is dangerous Matt Watson 2020 because when you get really cold and mountain lions oh yeah I fuck mountain lions you fuck mountain lions I have not fucked mountain lions. Oh, yeah. I fuck mountain lions. Yeah.

You fuck mountain lions? No, I did not. I have not fucked mountain lions. So that shit's scary, though. I get my ass torn up by a mountain lion, if you know what I'm saying. But basically, you know, you get so cold that you feel like you're hot. Your brain, like, tricks you. So you take all your clothes off because you're so hot and then you die.

Hypothermia doesn't seem like the worst way to go you kind of just get warm and sleepy and then no it's probably being very cold is painful okay yeah but like when then when you're in the mode of falling asleep yeah like it's not like a death where you're being hacked away or eaten alive by a bear you're not being burned slowly although people say it burns off the nerve so it's actually not that bad. Yeah, but there's still 11 or 12 seconds before that. I'm sure if you were able to ask

someone who's been burned alive and survived, so did it hurt? I'm sure their answer wouldn't be like, well, luckily, it burned the nerves off pretty quickly. 60 minutes interview. So, did it hurt? With Diane, whatever. 60 minutes interview. So, did it hurt? With Diane, whatever her name is.

Tell me, did it hurt? Yes, it hurt very bad. A lot. It hurt excruciatingly painful. Was it hot? I want to transition my career into being an interviewer. You can do that. I'm going to be the next.

With your own podcast. Bye, Super Megacast. I'm going to be the next All Gas No Brakes. I love All Gas No Brakes. I wish he'd come on our podcast. I wish he'd come on my chest. He's a funny man.

What I like about him is he doesn't even really have to ask that many questions. He just lets people talk and they just keep going. And it's just like people, if you just give them a microphone, let them talk, they'll just keep going. That's, have you ever seen Grizzly Man? By Werner Herzog, dude. Werner Herzog. Dude that went out to live with bears and they ate him.

Yeah. Yeah. I've not seen the. He does a lot of that in that film. Like where he'll have someone say something and there's no music or whatever and then they'll stop saying their thing and then he'll just back the camera up and then just hold on them and so they have to say something or or they just cut right after the awkward silence because but they they do get interviewer

like interviewees to say some weird like kind of kind of like, oh, Jesus Christ type shit in that film. I have seen it. I watched it on PBS once. It's a documentary, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I did. I didn't know if there was like a, like a live action.

Timothy Treadwell. Yeah. I watched it with my dad years ago. I watched another Werner Herzog. How do you say it? Herzog. Yeah. I watched another documentary he made recently that was pretty good where he goes and he

interviews Gorbachev and just like talks to Gorbachev and gets him like a birthday cake and shit. It was really fascinating because I didn't even realize Gorbachev was still alive. And getting birthday cakes. Dude, did you ever see the ads he was in? Like after he was done with politics. Was he in like Budweiser ads? No, he's in like a Pizza Hut ad where like he's in a restaurant. in? Like, after he was done with politics. Was he in, like, Budweiser ads? No, he's in, like, a Pizza Hut ad where, like, he's in a restaurant.

They're like, that's Gorbachev. What? And then, dude, he's in a Louis Vuitton ad, too. Like, there's, like, a... Like, look up Gorbachev Pizza Hut. Or maybe it's Domino's, but it's legitimately... Yeah, Gorbachev Pizza Hut. Hold up.

Just watch that real quick it's like a minute long why? I mean, Trump kind of did this in reverse, right? Yeah. But I just love, there's also, I think there's a Louis Vuitton like ad. I think he did this when he was the president even. I love Chipotle. I wish the laws would allow for that because that would be awesome those laws that say

you can't do that kind of shit but he did do it he did it for beans as well he did that whole campaign ad for Goya beans did he even have to put hashtag ad Goya beans didn't pay him

he just advertised Goya beansans didn't pay him. He wasn't paid for it. He just advertised Goya Beans because it was a political thing. Pretty legal. Fuck. Oh, no. We talked about him. Fuck. Look, he was also in a Louis Vuitton ad, like with the Louis Vuitton bag.

I guess, dude, the funny thing is that he was the last president of the Soviet Union. And he signed the paper that of the soviet union and and he signed the paper that like this uh like dissolve the soviet union and like his whole thing was communism and and then now he's in like pizza hud ads and like louis vuitton and stuff for for a bag made by uh people that sells for like six thousand dollars hey people are liars because they only got a lifetime to live i mean if i got asked to be in a Pizza Hut commercial, I'd absolutely do it. I'd be like, yes, of course. I want to be in commercials, man.

You and I should start being in commercials. We were in several commercials this podcast. True, but I want them on TV. Imagine we're the new Sonic guys, sitting in the car together, cracking banter back and forth while we eat our onion rings. I'm down. Sonic? Sonic. You guys are, uh... Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs

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