supermegashow - EP 231 - Monkey Wars

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

We talk about a new project, some apes having a war, and donuts. YES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. And that was a beautiful rendition of the Dixie Chicks in MIDI format to start the podcast. So welcome, everybody. Do you have something? Do you have something in mind?

Nah, you can just find it. Can I? Yeah. Will I be able to find something? Is that a Dixie Chicks song in MIDI file? Are you promise? If I'm searching for a fucking Dixie Chicks MIDI file. If you can't find it, then put anything else. Okay. Anything. midi file are you promise if i'm if i'm searching for a fucking dixie chicks midi file then if you

can't find it then put anything else okay anything i don't put a fart sound effect in but that sounds like we're digging on the dixie actually the chicks they changed the name to the chicks did they they got rid of dixie why uh i guess because of its uh confederate implication from the civil war because you. Down in Dixie. Dixiecrat was a cool political sounding name. A Dixiecrat? Even though they were bad. Yeah.

A Dixiecrat? Dixiecrat, back in the Civil War times. That is a Dixiecrat. I was going to say, it just sounds like some moonshiners just kind of speak. Dixiecrat. You know, all them Dixiecrats coming from the big city are going to ruin all of the jobs out here. The radical. The Dixocrats.

I forgot the word literally as I was saying it. I was like, the radical. Dude, I'm fearful of the Antifocrats. Oh, Jesus, dude. Don't even bring them up. Yeah, Dixocrat. Oh, look, their flag's the Confederate flag. Oh.

Yeah. Okay. that makes sense uh but welcome episode 231 that's right and uh that's a lot of episodes it is isn't it i think so 231 can't believe we've made it this far and

it's gonna keep going yeah it is and going what if we hit episode 500 who knows we still we're not even halfway there we're not even halfway there we're past halfway Who knows? We still, we're not even halfway there. We're not even halfway there. We're past halfway there. No, we're not. No, we're not. We're almost to 250, sorry. Soon, maybe in a couple months, we'll be there, but it's been five years

pretty much. Yeah. This is as far as we've gotten. Didn't we take some breaks sometimes, though? We did, and also there's only 52 weeks in a year? 51? Yeah, so. So that's only that many episodes a year but if you want more Jesus Christ man I'm trying to sell an ad

for us right now too bad so sad go home tell dad if you want more podcast you can go to our Patreon for 5 bucks a month and we upload a ton of episodes of super mini cast which is our 15 to 30 minute version. It's just a tiny little mini Patreon exclusive podcast.

Some, you know how they have like a exclusively Q and a thing. It's just like that. But with a podcast where we talk about, and we, we do topics that you guys pick. Yeah. So we go through all of the awful things you suggest and,

and find the one or two that weren't written by a five-year-old. I was going to be a little nicer and just say that speak to us more. Okay. Yeah, the ones that really speak to us. Yeah. I'm kidding. You've got to be 18 and over for this Patreon. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or your parents have to pay for it. You do actually. There's an 18

plus content warning. Yeah, there's a contract. Because we uploaded that meet and fuck flash game uncensored. Yep. And Justin, in one edit, put his face on the naked man that's fucking Mrs. Claus. It's a good edit. We should do more meat and fuck games for Patreon. We gotta do the Iron Giant one.

There's three of them. We gotta do it, man. There's not even a second Iron... I mean, there's a... Okay, there are technically three... The game is the sequel. No, I think there's Iron Giant, then there's the Iron Woman. And then, I think that's it in the books.

Yeah. Well, the sequel wasn't a movie. It was actually the Meat and Fuck game. It's official. It's licensed. But I could see where they think the story would have gone. Yeah. Do you remember the Cory in the House flash game? That was kind of popular.

No, I remember the game. Did we play a Cory in the House game? We did. It was awful remember the game we did we play a cory in the house game we do he's awful you know i don't know if this is well known or maybe this was just me but it's a flash game where you're cory i'm a new kid stop it sorry it's a flash game where you're cory and you have a huge cock and you just have to jerk off and like shoot cum and stuff serious that's cool in the background it's just cory cory cory in the house yeah it's a party every week baby cory cory cory check it out that's right i'm in the house you want to shake it up and change it take it all and rearrange it yeah i'm gay that's not what they say dude are you sure

i'm gay i'm gay i'm gay i'm gay gay gay gay gay gay dude imagine how forward thinking disney would have been if it's just like i'm gay and that's okay yeah i'm gay and that's okay you should be gay too children of america now that would just be that would just be infecting the mind the liberals would be like that's what my dad thinks i feel like my dad thinks that's what disney channel does now if you're a kid you should be gay should be gay. They'll be like acting when the parents are in the room. It's like, okay, here's a triangle. The parents leave, here's a triangle. You have to let the gays into your home and have sex with them.

If you're a boy, you want to be a girl now. Just shit that they think is being taught. We will hopefully eventually be able to marry primates and then move on to other subservient animals like dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, and in fact, maybe even ferrets. Ooh. Okay. Would that ever be legal in our lifetime? No.

Why so pessimistic? I don't think that's pessimism. I think that's, that's, that's just realism. Don't you want freedom and equality? Not to that extent. So you're saying too much freedom's a bad thing. I don't, I don't want to catch some guy,

like, using his ferret as a sleeve for his cock. People are going to, you know what's funny? No. Regardless if that's legal, people are still going to fuck animals. I don't want to think about that.

Why, dude? Makes me jealous. Just knowing I can't do it Yeah that shit's weird What are the cops going to do? Arrest me? That's going to be normal in about 10 years I tell you what With the way society's going Yeah have you seen California lately? Have you seen Mr. Hands?

I'm surprised that the COVID This whole thing's a virus created by China That actually turns all Republicans into Democrats And thus making them support the gay communities, which are approaching into our inner cities and streets. And it's like, it's like gentrification,

but it's more like gayification. And it's, it actually turned several Republican senators actually became transgender after the COVID hit. So just that to take into account too. I like how the whole thing, it's like it totally dismisses the long-term struggle this person is having

with their identity where it's like, I just became trans one day. It's like, poof. I'm trans now. Wake up, it's like, you know what? I'm trans. Without ever having a single thought before that. It's like they woke up and the trans fairy

came in the middle of the night and sprinkled trans dust upon them and they'd be they'd just instantly become trans when they wake up that's sick dude but do you think really like what's what do you think is gonna be normalized in our life that as of right now you're like oh fuck no

hmm marrying chimps no that'd be awesome no that'd be awesome no it'd be awesome just to like read about it I do chimps gotta get they rocks off too yeah to other chimps have you seen them what about them a human woman's a lot more beautiful

than a female chimp yeah but the chimp doesn't know that they probably think a human woman's disgusting give them some credit man they probably like ugh no dude give them some credit man what's what the symmetry in this bitch's face okay can i please uh i brought this up on a recent podcast or let's play about the chimpanzee wars in the 1970s yeah it's crazy can i can i read you a little i'm gonna read the audience a little uh summary real quick chimpanzee i think it's called the gombe war listen to this i like on google it's labeled as a military conflict

it's labeled as a military because it is a military conflict this is crazy guys i don't know chimps did this the gombe chimpanzee war was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in gombe stream national park in tanzania lasting from 1974 to 1978 the two groups Dr. Jane Doolittle? Yeah. Did I say Doolittle? No. You said Goodle. And were renamed the Kahama community. of Casa Kayla. Dr. Jane Doolittle? Yeah. Did I say Doolittle? No. You said Goodle.

And were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females with their young. The Casa Kayla was left with eight adult males, 12 adult females

and their young. But what's crazy is there's like strategy and shit like throughout the years like planned and like planned attacks. There's a,

there's that whole, we've talked attacks there's a there's that whole we've talked about it before there's that whole video on YouTube where it's just like the chimpanzee wars the brutal chimpanzee wars and it's like yeah they'll like tear apart the other clans young in front of them to be like get the fuck

out of our land they'll like eat people alive oh gee listen to this war first blood don't he's covering his ears guys first blood out of our land. They'll like eat people alive. Oh, gee. Listen to this. War. First blood. Don't. He's covering his ears, guys. I'm just kidding. First blood was drawn by the Casa Kayla community on January 7, 1974, when a party of six adult Casa Kayla males

consisting of Humphrey, Fegan, Jomeo, Sherry, Everett, and Rudolph ambushed the isolated Kahama male Gotti while he was feeding on a tree this was the first time that any of the chimpanzees had been sent seen to deliberately kill a fellow male chimp

after they had slain Goatee the victorious chimp celebrated boisterously throwing and dragging branches with hoots and screams I don't know why that's so funny that's what we did back in the day cavemen and shit they haven't developed the mental capacity

to express emotion in a more complex way just throwing sticks even not that long ago think about Native American battle cries even confederate soldier battle cries where they're like

they're just fucking noises. Yeah, I guess that does harken back. It's still in our DNA. Or like the most famous Republican one. You'd hear that coming over the hill. Oh, God. Okay. And then listen to this.

After Godi fell, Day was taken out next, and then Hugh. Later on came the elderly Goliath. Throughout the war, Goliath had been relatively friendly with the Kasakala neighbors when encounters occurred. However, his kindness was not reciprocated, and he was killed. Goddamn brutal. Only three Kahama males remained, Charlie, Sniff, and Willy Wally, who was crippled from polio. They killed him. Willy Wally, who was crippled from polio. They killed him. Willy Wally disappeared and was never seen again.

The last remaining Khamma male, the young Sniff, survived for over a year. Wow. Jesus. They took over their territory. These territorial gains were not permanent, however. Oh, damn, dude. Another tribe came in and... Another fucking tribe.

That's crazy. that's insane yeah i know you i never think of communities like chimps is that smart or like that you know because a lot of animals just kind of are on autopilot but this shows that they're that chimps are thinking well i mean they're happy to i guess we see it as autopilot but like they're actually like like we see it as just given nature but like they're actually like. We see it as just given nature, but like animals fuck up like hunting. It's not like I mean, they are designed to do specific things, but it's not like, you know, I feel like just like with dogs, there are some dogs that are really smart and are just kind of like trained really well and stuff. And then there are other dogs who just probably just will never get it who are untrainable almost i would say yeah yeah i feel like maybe they're maybe they're the most

based because they're not listening they're just so beta they're not listening to the their master they're doing their own thing so they're pretty based they're not listening to kanye sorry yay yay yay yay but listen do you think wait wait do you think that um like an animal like i'm trying to think of how they think without language because when i think i hear the words in my head and like that's what it that's what thinking is like i'm talking inside my head but if you don't have language then i think it's just like primal motivation like you just see it you want they don't hear food it's just like yeah they they like their their body calls to something much like when we're hungry or whatever but we're just like oh dude i'm fucking starving bro i heard a lot i think i heard death they're just like seeing pictures like when they think it's like pictures in their head instead of a

text which is kind of jealous of that that's cool yes do blind people just think of like like sounds of like cafes or restaurants whenever they're hungry blind people can hear huh wait what'd you say i said do you think blind people think of like sounds of cafes or like restaurants when they're thinking of like or like the smell like they have the smell of stuff oh yeah so like i wonder if like when they're feeling hungry or when they're like wanting something to eat, do they like kind of picture the sound of like food being put down and shit? Cause they, cause they can't really picture it. Right.

The sound of them being put down. They can't think in pictures like a deaf person would. That's true. Well, I wonder what you like, if you're, if you've been blind since birth which if there's any listeners who have this is i'm curious like when you think about things that you obviously have never seen maybe you felt though like what does it look like like do you see it like because when you see stuff in your head it's in your brain not in your actual eyes yeah so even if your eyes weren't functioning you could still visualize things in your brain but i wonder how visualizing is if

you've never seen color if you've never you know where's like i want to hold up once my uncle's colorblind and i have some in my family uh and when i was a kid i thought it meant that colors were just like uh just everything was black and white but it's just like a lot of colors look like a really dull red or green that's crazy dude color blindness this is interesting uh it says uh while blind why people blind since birth do indeed dream in visual images they do they do it less often and less intensely than sighted people instead they dream more often and more intensely in sound smells and touch sensations. On a related note,

brain scans have found that all humans dream in visual images before they are born. Whoa! That's crazy. Yeah, that's cool. Well, I guess because when you lose one sense, the other ones become heightened. Yeah, like Batman. That's why they do that shit and like, oh, it's a fancy restaurant.

The lights are off. Like Daredevil. I meant daredevil yeah he's blind is he yeah damn that's his thing i'm a blind lawyer who fights crime at night he's a blind lawyer yeah that's that's very admirable yeah you know and he fights crime at night in a little red devil costume he's busy yeah he's he's doing a lot of good for the community then. Taking down Kingpin, you know. Protecting the innocent. Taking out. And defending the innocent in court. Whatever the dude's name who has perfect aim.

Bullseye. He was played by, what was his name? Colin. Not Colin. Wait, maybe. Colin Kaepernick? No, no, no. Who's the guy that was in like in Bruges?

Who's that one? He was in. I don't know i was in the lobster oh colin farrell yeah okay colin farrell i was thinking of i don't know why firth came colin farrell so like colin farrell plays bullseye in the in the daredevil movie the uh i wouldn't have predicted them what's his name of that bro bro bro bro bro what's his name the um uh the ben, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. What's his name? The, um, Ben Affleck played Daredevil. And Michael, what's the dude from Green Mile's name? What, the big guy? Yeah, the big dude. I forgot his name. My mouse.

Michael something, Michael. Michael Big Man. Okay. Well, he played Kingpin. Ooh. Ooh, he'd make a good villain. That movie is so fucking sad. Oh, no.

What if he didn't? Oh, God. Just another B. Oh, no. It's John Candy. Well, I'm about to find out. Is Ryan a racist? Michael Clark Duncan.

It's Michael Clark Duncan. Oh, okay. He plays Wilson Fisk, the king the king john favreau is in daredevil dude john favreau has been dipping his hands in marvel since the he played franklin foggy nelson dude he dipped his hands in the jungle book too and chef have you seen chef then they gotta rewatch no i don't want to god so bad did you watch the lion king john febro version yep was it bad i don't like it no i didn't like it oh yes it is bad yes it's awful damn dude you don't spray three different takes well let's give myself three

different takes are you wearing me undies right now i see you are i am they don't sponsor this episode though so i don't want to say their name but too bad we already i like this i like this particular design it's like yeah it's like paint splattered everywhere yeah oh speaking of like senses last night i was watching a bunch of videos on savants and like the guy that is the guy that inspired rain man i watched like interviews with him and stuff and you know he's like he's odd he's really autistic but he's genius too and but like he can't do like he can't like tie his shoes or anything but he can you can give him a date like january 2nd 1943 and instantly he'll be like it was a Wednesday damn yeah there's like um there's a oh what was it fuck I dropped it I was gonna make a joke and then I lost it damn I know you took an

L my man I did I wish I could remember it was gonna be it was gonna be something off of Rain Man something with uhants. Brain Man? No. No, that's a documentary about another savant that I was reading about. Brain Man? Named Ken Tennant. Something like that. And I saw him on, he was on David Letterman.

But he can do the same thing with dates. But he memorized in just a couple weeks pie to like 22,000 places and recited it flawlessly. It took him five hours. I remember what I was going to say. Yeah. I was going to say, I watched a video about a savant who could, who could smoke good meats. Okay.

Smoking meats. Smoking the meat. Now we're going to smoke the meat. Baby rays. Smoking the meats now we're gonna smoke the meats baby rays smoking the meats with sweet baby rays dude what if he's like what if like his shit's amazing

like impeccable it's like the best dude if anyone if like I don't believe the reptilian shit but if anyone is it's him keep bringing it up

you're gonna get fucking offed you're gonna get jacked off so I found out uh that youtuber matt watson has figured us out so go jack him off pay him in hand jobs pay him off in one hand job a night through the pants hand jobs god damn it's always through they just send it like a person there's like a team. They always have burn marks on their butt. Somewhere in like rough denim jeans. Ooh. Ooh. What was I saying right before this though, before we got into this?

Oh, Savant's. So you can ask him like what's 47 times 353,000. Instantly can say the answer. And he said it's because we have synesthesia. Shapes, right? Yeah. Each number, he just sees a different shape in his head. And when you put them together, he just, that's the answer the answer and it's because apparently he's the next form of human he's yeah yeah he's

he i hope he had children to spread his genes like that shows that shows that like we're capable of of being that hyper intelligent but they said that you know your brain is split in two halves his is just one so they said that he uses like 90% of his brain but just imagine that and he learned Icelandic in four weeks or something it's insane and he has synesthesia so like every I have synesthesia do you have synesthesia?

I don't know what that is it's when your brain it's kind of like cross wires where like every letter has a color every letter has a color, every number has a color, like different sound pitches have colors. I don't know. I feel like when you said that, I just think of like kind of elementary school. Like I see the color A being filled in with like just literally like yellow. Like, I don't know.

I don't see it as a color. Like the letter A as a color, I guess. Yeah. Well, some people- It's just a shape. It's like their brains, the wires cross or some shit. And it's like, well, he's, I mean, that's how he knows music and stuff. He's like, I taste the music.

Like I can see it. Do you taste the music? No. I see the color shit, but I don't taste the music. Wish I could taste it. Can you see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch though

um yeah it makes sense it does make sense I could see that it's the it's the cinnamon swirls in every bite

it's also the snack that smiles back no that's goldfish oh fuck they're gonna drop us as a sponsor now I fucked that up at goldfish.com slash super mega

if they were pranksters they could make that and that would get them some cool publicity because we're so famous yeah we're we're skyrocketing to fame i i go out everywhere now in a hat and sunglasses because i'm afraid people are gonna point at me and go it's the super mega one. It's the one from super mega. Even though, I mean, even through when I wear a hat, sunglasses and my mask, I get chased down the street. Yeah. By, by these, these 19 year old 4chan boys that are saying, Matthew, Matthew, do funny

scream. Matt, you watch him from super mega. Yep. And then in the other direction as I'm running, there's a group of beautiful women who are also running towards me. And they're not wearing any panties. Really? Yep. What are they wearing?

Slacks? They're wearing slacks with no panties. Oh, nice. So when the time comes to have sex, there's no no struggling awkward struggling of trying to remove the the underpants because they're already off because they anticipated that i was gonna have sex with the slacks drop down because they go yep yep nice and then the bra uh i still have to undo that myself and that's tricky on fashioning a bra i don't it's sometimes sometimes i just i have you know how i have like that little blow torch lighter i put that in my pocket to help me just kind of singe through it real quick if i'm

struggling i just like if i'm like fuck no it goes like ah i'll be oh sorry those are my nails like you're making out with a girl and trying to undo the bra and you just like slip a little like torch light oh sorry i was scratching your back What the fuck Oh Third degree burn Almost there Almost there We should do a video

Where I put a bra on See Cause you know like A lot of people are like Oh you're Like you're only smooth If you can Undo someone's bra

Like on the first try When you like reach around While you're making out We should do a video See how good we are I'll try to take a bra off you In one try You try to take one off me See how smooth we are you just want to see me in a bra

don't you it's fucking sick dude that's the fifth video idea this week about me in a bra it's got like i think there's more you know there are more other ideas out there i mean it's a good idea name it name name name all of them um name every single one pooping for 24 hours straight live stream for charity yeah for charity two hour minecraft live stream where we dig down the whole time

that wouldn't take two hours but then we just sit and talk for the rest of the time we have to dig with our hands though oh once you hit stone and shit that's gonna take a while yeah that's why it might be two hours um start at the top of a mountain too uh we could uh review uh the percy jackson books the Percy Jackson books in a series? We could go to the tropics to Pina Coladas. Shorty, I could take you there.

Shorty, I could take you there. Or we can go through the slums where killers get hung. Shorty, I could take you there. You know I could take you. Could take you. Could take you. Could take you. Shorty, I can take you there. You know I could take you, could take you, could take you, could take you. Shorty, I can take you there. To the ad reads. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect

with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can

take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook.

19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit ConnectsOntario.ca. What a hilarious collection of ads. Matt's not even in his chair yet because... You should have fucking started without me. I did, though.

What are you going to do about it? You know I fucking hate that. What are you going to do about it? It pisses me the hell off, and I told you this. Sorry. When you start the podcast, there's some fucking conversation before I've been able to sit down and get in my battle station. It pisses me off.

Well, I'm just setting it up so people understand while you're not ready, dude. Drink some water. Then maybe wait five seconds. Drink some water, dude. Okay ready, dude. Drink some water. Maybe wait five seconds. Drink some water, dude. Okay, now Matt's drinking some water. We're almost back. Is that good? Feel better now?

Put the, like, goom, goom, goom. Yeah. Goom. Come on. Goom, goom, goom. I'm better. Okay. Sorry about that.

No problem. You know, sometimes blood sugar gets low and I just kind of, you gotta have your Snickers. Yeah. You know, I was, I'm not me when I'm hangry, you know, but we're just, I'm, I'm excited to drop this song and music video, mostly the music video. Oh yeah. Let's talk about that.

Let's talk about that. So I don't think it's, it's not released yet. Nope. We got, Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that. So I don't think it's, it's not released yet. Nope. We got, it's almost released though. Almost though. And that's not, that's not one of those super mega promises. No, it's like, we'll do that. It should be days. Hopefully we actually have it completed. Like as of recording this podcast on Monday, we are, what was that? Is that a vibration? It was actually Crank Gameplay Snapchatting me. Okay, good.

He keeps sending me his little buttholes. Little pink little buttholes. What was I saying? The sketch. The music video. Oh yeah, the music video. It just

feels good to be doing that shit again. It does because now we're backlogged for like over a month with Let's Plays and it's like we just man, we just spent so i feel like we just wasted so much time not doing live action yeah and our like because that's what we

got known for that's our favorite thing to do and that's what makes us the happiest so it's like we always felt like we didn't have like we whenever we came in it's like fuck we were kind of back on videos and we were kind of bad at being able to have the motivation but and brain power to record those let's plays 2021 baby we're kind of returning to syndigo kids of problem style roots with with making sketch comedy fake commercials all that great shit people love and music videos this video really gives me just kind of like the tone seems like um not old internet but i would say like those kids with problems like like what we would have done back when i switched from over from syndicate kids with problems yeah and we have a lot more planned uh that we're going to be shooting with tucker

uh hopefully in the coming weeks let's hope we got ideas we We got fresh beats. As long as no one gets COVID, we're good to go. Yeah. Good to shoot some new shit. And I hope you guys enjoy it because we worked really hard on it. And we just had a good time. We had a fun time just writing it and recording it and filming it. Really fun time shooting it. That was a really fun day.

You know, I'm not scared to say it. I had fun with you. Yeah, I had a good time. I had fun like you. Yeah, I had a good time. I had fun. Like a kid has fun. I had the same kind of fun a kid would have, you know, back on like a playground, except with my boy Matt. It did feel like that. It was like playground style fun.

It's like, oh, yeah, you're running around. Because our style of filming, we just have a general idea and then we just, it builds as we film, which I like. We'll give the idea. We had no idea kind of where we were filming. We literally just ran around. That whole video was unplanned. Actually, we did the song like the same day and just drove all around Burbank and found

areas to shoot in that were visually pleasing. We just, we just have an idea, throw it to Tucker. The idea feeds through his brain and comes out his eyes through the camera. It's beautiful. And then it goes into your eyes everybody he's actually looking it over right now yeah as we speak right in the other room doing

some color correction because apparently mine wasn't good enough think about that i absolutely trust him on color correction or sound editing or really anything sorry in production stuff over you okay oh hold on editing, or really anything in production stuff over anything. You okay? Hold on. This is a big one. That's huge. Put that in the trash can. Okay, hold up.

Is it moving? Yes. There's three of them. They came from the inside of it. Ow, it's... Oh, shit! It's a paper towel. They came from the inside of it. Ow, it's... Oh, shit. I got paper towels. I got paper towels. Here, here.

Hold up, hold up. Ooh. Here, paper towels to clean that up. Oh, thank you. Jesus Christ. Look at that. That's thick. You see the blood is congealed?

Damn. Oh, my God. Penis and coffee. Penis and coffee. I can't wake up without my penis and coffee. Is that a new song I did right there? Right there. Dude. Guys, we're about to be millionaires. Penis and coffee.

I have a penis. Dude, it always makes you laugh when you when you laugh a little too hard so you like to make up for it you do like that fake it's like such

it's like the only save you can do well because it's like I mean it's like when you when your voice cracks it's like I'm aware that it cracked I might as well just call it out I might as well just make a point of it your voice cracked earlier today yeah it did when we were recording the song and it fucked up the take.

And that's the one I'm keeping in. Sorry. No, it's not. I'm going to embarrass you. There's still one more sound effect and then the song's pretty much done. It's, well, we got to put all the fart sound effects

in penis and coffee. That's true. You know? I got my penis and coffee. I got my penis in coffee. Okay. Then I got my penis on coffee. I got my penis in coffee. Okay. Then I got my penis on coffee, which is your penis resting on top.

My penis Brown, like some toffee. Cause the coffee, these are the great ideas you guys can be expecting. See, this is how we do it guys. This is exactly how we do it. And now she ride me just like a jockey.

When I'm sipping on my, when i'm sipping on some penis and coffee when she she got my stick and my balls she playing hockey he's just he's having sex as well because the the coffee made his penis so attractive because when when a lady sees a man take a sip of coffee, he goes, okay, he has his life put together. He must know what's going on. Yeah. You know, they say that coffee drinkers are more intelligent

than non-coffee drinkers. You don't drink coffee, right? No. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Why don't you drink coffee? Don't like it. You still like the taste? Yeah it you still like the taste yeah don't like the taste it's something that definitely uh grew on me because i remember always wanting to drink coffee

like when i was in like middle school i'd be like oh man i want to drink coffee so well it smells so good smells amazing but it tastes a lot nothing like how it smells to me yeah but you're like you're just like, Oh man, I want to drink my, like my parents have a big pot of coffee in the morning. I always wanted it every now and then, like on a Friday morning, sometimes they'd be like,

you can have a cup of coffee. And I'd like load it with cream and sugar until it's like almost white. And I loved it. And yeah, it's just like, technically I could have been drinking coffee back then, but it felt like I'm not old enough. I can't drink coffee yet.

Like the creamer was like an adult product. You're like, yeah. And then using that cream. I know. And then I started in high school because I needed it. And then basically I've just been drinking coffee ever since. Drink it every morning. I got my coffee right here.

I honestly go maybe one day out of every month without drinking coffee. That's it. It just helps me wake up. But I love coffee. I love the taste. I love the smell. I love how it makes me feel. So.

Well, it's nice to hear that you love coffee. Because I love more ad reads. It's too soon. Nope. It's way too soon. Just got to put them in back to back, baby. Boom. It's five minutes in between ad reads, It's too soon. Nope. It's way too soon. Just got to put them in back to back, baby. Boom.

It's five minutes in between ad reads, dude. But fine, fine, fine. We'll wait a little bit more. We'll wait a little bit longer. But I'm going to come back in with a little hook. Okay.

Later. Oh. I'll come in with a hook. Gotcha. Later I'll get you with one. Yeah. You don't like coffee even when it's got the cream and sugar? Not when I'm listening to these ad reads.

God damn it. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a Big Mac McWrap McFlurry and a McDouble? Keep it real, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy and 10 McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire. And a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it?

Let me get a quarter pound of a cheese and flatfish. Oh, please. Make good as a McMuffin and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, hash brown, hotcakes. Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar. Sunday. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Okay, they're out of the way.

They're gone. All done with those. Dispensed. Be gone. Foul brands. I mean, like good. No, it's plain words. Yeah.

I've been getting Dunkin' Donuts coffee lately just because I was staying in an Airbnb while the Tucker brothers were finishing quarantining at my place. And it was like a couple blocks away from a Dunkin' Donuts. So every morning, pull up at the Dunkin', say, can I get a large iced coffee with two cream and two sugar? And then maybe I'll get a strawberry frosted donut or their snack and bacon.

A pink strawberry frosted donut? Yeah, that's my favorite donut, 100%. Like the ones Homer Simpson eats, like a cartoon or Ian. And the ones Smosh uses? Yeah. Used? My favorite donuts are

the pink frosting ones the strawberry frosting ones with sprinkles and maple long johns I think they're called maple bars daddy

my favorite oh god dude wow I saw the definition on your balls there that was a big moose knuckle

you like it or is one side your balls and the other the penis or those are really your balls there. That was a big moose knuckle. You like it? Or is one side your balls and the other the penis? Or are those really your balls? One ball, two balls. Jesus! And then here's just my smushed penis up here. Dude, my balls are so small. Look at that. Compared... Wow. Well, compared to everyone, I have

small balls. I just have very... It's like two little marbles. They're nice. They're very small. They're nice balls. What were you talking about? You laughed at me once because my balls were so small. But I brought it on myself. I was like, look how small my balls are. It was during Drunk Drawing. I think I was just funny because it was just a pair of nuts in my face.

But then I can pair nuts with everyone else and I have very small balls. Well. Which means I have more testosterone. That is true. Matt's literally a fucking beta. Yeah. We were talking about something before that though. That is true. That's literally a fucking beta. Yeah. We were talking about something before that, though.

Before the balls, I thought. Before the balls? We were. Before the balls. What distracted us? Man, this is why we shouldn't smoke weed before recording a podcast. That's very true. Because we forget everything we're talking about.

Wait, you were stretching your pants up. Yep, that distracted you. You were stretching your pants up. Donuts, your favorite donuts. My favorite donuts are jelly. Well, okay. I have like four that come to mind and they're the most basic. And I love them. Regular glazed, small white powdered donuts. Those are great.

I love traditional or like old fashioned or whatever. That don't have the glaze and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. The sour cream. No, no. They have like a glaze, but it's like a sour cream.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sour cream. Sour cream. Cream cheese. Donuts. Yeah. Sour cream.

Okay. And then honestly, just like chocolate covered custard filled. Custard filled. Ooh. Yeah. Just classic donuts. Custard filled used to be my favorite. And cream filled.

When I was a kid, if I could get like a custard or cream filled, I would go for it. And I love jelly donuts too. Like, give me some raspberry jelly. In the back of my throat. And then I can like put all the jelly on my tongue. People are like, Jesus fucking Christ. You're sitting inside the Dunkin' Donuts doing that. jesus fucking you're sitting inside the dunkin donuts doing that you spit it back into the donut you spit it back in the donut and take a bite

that's so putrid uh sure people out there like your mom come on smelly shut up man there's nothing more she's not smelly she just had her birthday and you're gonna do this to her i'm sorry oh i'm 25 now no one cares yeah i'm kidding i care thanks man whatever started super mega hung out with you and we had voodoo chips together yeah that's my birthday batch strawberry cake we watched insane clown posse then whatever it's called part of it then the the other person there didn't want to watch no the other person was um i don't want to give it like i don't want people to make a big deal it's elon musk but yeah he was trying to give us uh we called him over because we needed financial advice from the stock market stuff.

Kept telling us to put our shit into Dogecoin with him. Yeah. So we did, we put a couple hundred thousand in Dogecoin. Yeah. Actually, the amount that he put in, we put in 50% of that. Like, so. And I know. We went half and half.

Well, part of our conversation was we wanted to invest more in Bitcoin. And I don't know if you guys saw the news that Elon Musk just bought $1.5 billion of Bitcoin. That's crazy. Last night. So that actually, Ryan and I each paid 25% of that. It's beautiful. Yeah.

So hopefully we're going to make some gains on our investments. The returns will be profitable. Maybe this year I can go out, get some more walks, order some weights, and I can get some more gains. Dude, I've been really wanting to work out. see i always oh damn god damn you got big muscles

you'd be one of those guys that starts posting pictures of himself flexing like i know like without your shirt on maybe back in the uh old you'd like the 2015 youtube days for me 2014 yeah you know what i'm looking at up at the camera going yeah yeah yeah that's my favorite stuff to do fan art of of you when i draw was that your stomach it was i thought there was like a thing that picked up on the mic yeah because yours picked up on the mic that one time i think it was just last episode no it was two episodes ago maybe damn that was loud you hungry yeah i haven't eaten at all. I ate. I haven't been eating recently.

Oh, I ate. I had your mom's pussy. Come on, man. When you apologize, we'll continue. Fuck, is he serious? Sorry. Ryan, I'm sorry. Are you cool?

Yeah. Sorry, I just had to go throw some boiling water on my face to cool myself off. Okay, well, I'm sorry. You know how heated I get. I know, I know. Came back with a cool pair of shades, I will say. What are you talking about? See, I was about to take a picture, but I don't want to give you extra work when you're editing the podcast.

I mean, I already got to put in sound effects, you know. You want me to take a picture? Can you? Guys, this is what I'm looking at right now. Can you get like a profile shot? Wait, let me move the trash out of the way so we look a little more adult. I put some candles front and center too so it looks really nice.

There is Ryan McGee recording the Super Mega Podcast. Look on screen. Text it to me. Actually, just put it in the drive or some shit. If you're an audio listener. Dude, that made me flinch. Sorry.

I'm going to get two for flinching now. Dude, did you have that friend that would do that shit? They'd make you flinch. Did they punch too hard? And then, yeah, the friend that always punched too hard. I had a friend that fucking punched so hard. And he'd be like, ah! Or the friends who figured out when they punched with a knuckle, it hurt even worse.

I had a friend that always hurt me. Fuck. And thought it was funny and I couldn't get him to stop. So he purposely slapped my nuts all the time. Like, doo! Which I hate that shit, dude. See what this could be? This could be tight.

I have the same thing, dude. We're getting old. The flab? That's why we gotta start getting that plastic surgery, man. No, that's why we need to start fucking that plastic surgery man no that's why we need to start fucking take pumping some iron taking care of our body yeah well i whenever i start working out i always lose it because i think i do too much i think like it's too much of a change where now i'm just gonna maybe it's just like hey every day i have to promise myself i'll do 10

push-ups even i just want to get like i just want to get like simple weights and just start like doing routines like if i'm watching a show i'll just fucking do it bro hit up the amazon.com they got plenty of weights or i want the ones like i go to dig the you know i don't want the bow flex brand i guess but i want i want the style of that where it's like you lock them in and then you can take out different weights or whatever i thought you had weights you don't have weights no i don't man i gotta start lifting weights i just have a cardiovascular machine dude can we have a weight lifting contest on super mega yeah so you can lift the most weights of course let's do it i think i could probably lift the most weights i think so too i think i think you uh undersell yourself and how strong you are i see you lifting boxes i can't lift weights better than you.

No fucking way. You're strong as fuck. We won't do a lift up thing. We'll do a bench press. When you hold me, I feel how strong you are. I like those big strong arms. Do you feel how sturdy it is when I hold you? Do you want to be held right now?

It's like cuddling with a rock. Do you want to remember what it's like to be held? I don't know. I haven't eaten. You want to be held right now to have a... It's like cuddling with a rock. Do you want to remember what it's like to be held? Okay, let's see. I don't know. I've lost... I haven't eaten. Maybe I'm so weak. You good?

Got me? I have gained weight, though. Yeah, you do. God, that's rock solid. I could start doing that. Yeah. Bobbing me up and down like a little baby? That was actually comfortable.

I'm not going to lie. Like, does it actually feel like you're in a sustained hammock? Do you feel like you're... It's really nice, like does it actually feel like you're in like a sustained hammock like do you feel like it's really nice yeah do you feel like you're rested in i was a little tense though like you can rest if you want it's it's it's always like you know you guys still be a little tense yeah yeah yeah on someone's back even you know man i'm gonna exclusively start traveling by back i kind of like uh paying dudes to the idea of piggyback rides not not me having them but you know the it's like always the classic like romantic romanticization whatever the fuck in like uh your brain when you think of like a new relationship or piggyback rides i don't know

like giving giving the girl like a piggyback ride she's giving you a kiss on the cheek at the same time yeah her arms are around you her legs are like constantly trying to kick you in the nuts and you're like stop that hurts dude and also you guys uh baking a cake and she takes a little frosting and puts it on your nose yeah then she then she like bites like tries to like nip the frosting off and then she actually bites a chunk of your nose pulls the skin right off screaming skin comes clean off she's like surprised her eyes go wide she has a little blood on her lip it was then that she knew what she had chunk of your nose off. Pulls the skin right off. She starts screaming. Skin comes clean off. She's like surprised her eyes go wide. She has a little blood

on her lip. It was then that she knew what she had to do. She had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through. So. I see what you were doing there. I mean,

it didn't even make sense, but I just had to drop it. That's Danny Phantom, right? It is. Okay. That's what I thought, man. How about Danny Nofapton? And it's Danny Phantom, but he's that's what I thought man how about Danny NoFapton and it's Danny Phantom but he's trying his best not to masturbate

so he gets more superpowers did he make a deal with a genie that if he didn't masturbate he gets more superpowers or something no it's just how it works have you ever read any post on NoFap Ryan?

no fuck that shit dude Have you ever read any post on NoFap, Ryan? No. What? Fuck that shit, dude. I need to fap, bro. Bro. Yeah, that's such an old internet word. Fap?

Or prawn, P-R-0-N. Just fapping around. Just fapping to some prawn. Fapping my way over to Australia soon. Oh, look, I'm going to fap on over to germany i remember uh yeah man i did know i was big into no fap in high school i thought it even if it was placebo it made me feel good like i was like accomplishing something but also like you didn't feel like a little bottle rocket ready to burn no no i was like i was like man i have more energy today my vision's clear we're like always on edge like like hey max shut up like punching someone in frequently

busting my pants bro i got to like day 60 once of nofap in high school i i was a little loser man well i'm not saying if you do nofap you're a loser i was just a little loser and i was like always reading nofap it's good just like with weed you have to take some breaks from weed you gotta take some breaks you know from alcohol if you drink a good bit you gotta take breaks from these fun things so that they remain fun cause if they become a

constant part of your life it can create problems listen man if you haven't stressed in life it's always gonna be a constant part of your life that's the one constant that doesn't change but if it becomes like an addiction, then it's, then it, it can be psychologically damaging to you, future relationships and the way you see the world. What percentage of men do you think are addicted to porn in the U.S.? 30%?

I'd say it's over 50. Okay. Maybe 50%. Like, do you know any dude that doesn't look at porn? No. Well, besides Jim, but that's for legal reasons he's not allowed to sign a contract he signed a fucking contract he has to he has to abide by it so i watch probably his fault though 12 hours of porn a week really no i'm kidding no were you like really because i do that too that's strange i feel like i i watch a lot more

i'm a connoisseur i'm a connoisseur pornography porn's so fucked up but you know it's it porn's like the one like thing that everyone is just like okay um it's like you can like say slurs you can like get away with anything pretty much and everyone is a society it's kind of like well we won't mention it we won't keep it quiet but like everyone does it you can say slurs in porn yeah oh yeah like they get fucking disgusting there's one there's one particular point you said me where i was surprised of the uh audacity of uh the script the little woman uh you know i do like connoisseuring pornography in the sense of i like finding funny porn like porn that's just awful in the sense of like the production just sucks porn that's cringy or embarrassing and you know i don't want to go on websites like

e-fucked because those actually they have like fucked up compilation yeah e-fucked has like sad porn like like girls having like people regretting what they're doing in the middle of filming the yeah and it's like i don't want to watch that that makes me sad i want to watch some dude uh who's dressed up as a clown sucking like his friend's dick yeah or like i saw one video where it's like this french couple fucking and then out of the blue like it's all regular out of the blue the very end when he pulls out she just she brings in just a plate of spaghetti and he comes all over it and it's like this French couple fucking and then out of the blue, like it's all regular, out of the blue, the very end when he pulls out, she just, she brings in just a plate of spaghetti

and he comes all over it. And it's like, there was no lead up to it. It was just that. So the very end, she just, you know, probably ate it too.

Ugh. A little protein on your spaghetti, buddy. That's disgusting. Trying to think, dude, the weirdest one I ever found was the one, the, I think I talked about it on Only only plays like five years ago or four years ago whatever the old little old man

oh yes yeah i know what you're talking about i know what you're talking about it is he's like an alien pretty much that's how you described him yeah he's freaking freaky. And then, you know, that's how I found Tom Pearl. Ooh, nice. Where is that on the Super Mega Iceberg, Tom Pearl? I don't know. Have you seen any of the Super Mega Icebergs people have made? I have. I didn't read it all the way, but I need to.

Seems pretty epic. I mean, it's kind of epic. Is it accurate? Maybe. I don't know. I only saw one, and I read it back in the day. I haven't. I saw the timelines people made.

I did see that. I requested it via tweet and people made some good ones. Like the eras. Yeah, like every little era. I didn't see any that had the Ryan's colon era though. Well, that was a short. Well, that actually lasted a good bit. There's like the Wanda era

oh true we have Wanda outside yep there's Dirk there's Ming those eras in the middle of a let's play did Wanda ever interrupt

a let's play and we were like no no no okay she was just outside in a nest Wanda for those who don't remember

was our next door neighbor for some reason I was fucking thinking of uh I was I thought the name of our person was Wanda back at our apartment complex. The person who kept getting mad at us. Catherine?

Catherine, yeah. Fuck Catherine. Did she ever interrupt Let's Plays? Yes. Okay. Dude, Catherine fucking sucked. I gotta go back. I wonder what, I wanna.

I despised Catherine. Well, security did knock on our door when we were filming with the Finn Wolfhard yeah and I wonder who called it could it have been Catherine? probably Catherine directly below us I don't know if we talked about this at the time

because we were like oh god Catherine's gonna sue us but this woman lived underneath us named Catherine pretty sure in the Let's Plays we were like I think we talked about Catherine I think we talked about catherine i think we talked about catherine but she was this like what she's been like 50 years old redhead uh kind of just very uh when you when you think of like just like stereotype middle-aged woman um and she always said that she said we were too loud with our footsteps and stuff.

She complained about Lego a lot, which I understand, you know, in an apartment building, you know, I'm heavy footed. So I do do that. But you know,

we genuinely made an effort to make it better. And she kept complaining and like, she would, like she wouldn't come to us because she had my number. It's like, just text me, like say we're being loud. You need to quiet it down.

But she always had to file a complaint. And, uh, there's a history. Oh me. Like, say we're being loud. You need to quiet it down. But she always had to file a complaint. And- So there's a history. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She did not like us. And then the one time I went, oh yeah, she left a note on the door.

No, no, no. She didn't. She came up. She came up. She knocked on the door when you were out of town. And I opened it and I was like- You went down. We told the story on the podcast

where you went like down into like where the husband was. She took us to her. She took me to her apartment to yell at me. She was like, will you come down to my apartment in a minute? And her husband was like

sitting in a couch or whatever. I don't know why she just didn't talk to me there. She's like, she's like in a minute, come down to my apartment. And I was like, is she going to kill me?

I come in, he's just sitting there like, well, it looks like she just like gave him a drip of morphine and she was trying to sell a drip of morphine. And she was trying to sell me some oriental rug. But she was also complaining about the noise. At the same time, yeah.

She was complaining about Lego specifically. I can't help it. You know, well, now she doesn't have to worry about Lego. I wonder what she's up to. Living life, hopefully. She actually got fired while we were. Or she quit. We don't know the actual story.

No, I heard she got fired. Did you hear that? Mm-hmm. From a reliable source. Did you hear that? Mm-hmm. Oh. From a reliable source. What was her name? I don't know. Blonde girl, you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. Yeah, her. She told me. Dude, but do you remember before Catherine, the saga with the Armenian dudes? With the hoverboard shit? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we saw him at a gas station with a duffel bag, and then he just fucking hoverboard yeah yeah yeah and we saw him at a gas station like with a duffel bag and then he just fucking hoverboarded away yeah that that was definitely something illegal but

this armenian dude lived below us who was always on a hoverboard i think we've talked about him definitely yeah we definitely do you remember he'd always like take the broom and like what the fuck we're not even walking around i don't like just be like kind of like watching something on pretty low volume but i think it's because they always explained it that the walls are we're so they are but yeah if you live in an apartment building you have to expect there's going to be some level of noise it's it's a you're it's one of the things about living in an apartment i've lived in multiple apartments and i i just expected you know to hear stuff people walking around in the morning getting ready for work and stuff.

Which I did. Or getting ready for their night. The people that lived above me in the apartment I moved into after you and I moved out with each other, every morning at like 5, 6 a.m., I could hear them getting up, getting ready for work. And they had kids. So the kids would be running around. And that was frustrating. You could always hear when people were running around. Yeah.

And, you know, whenever I got really self-conscious about noise. So whenever I had guests over and they'd like walk in late and they're like, I'm like, stop, stop, stop shaking. Can you just walk on your. Yeah. I always had to ask guests. I'm like, oh, walk real light because I don't want to get the person below me left an angry letter on my door once saying that she hopes I get evicted. And you didn't know, unfortunately for her. her no i she just she didn't like the note it's all like these middle-aged women move into apartment and expect serene solitude i'm gonna have my personal garden i mean it's like small

space it's a shitty apartment so you hear some footsteps every now and then and it's like also where we lived you just people were revving their engine it wasn't a very like it was quiet for the most part just come up and talk to me yeah you know like just like you don't need to send a direct report like especially if i know you if you don't know me then maybe you know i understand they don't want to have the confrontation it's easier to send a report but like if you know me like katherine it's like just come up and knock what i did my next door neighbors right now i gave them all my phone number and i was like if if i'm ever playing music too loud or or too loud in the backyard at nighttime or something just send me a text and see i just stand in front of my neighbors ring doorbells and breathe heavily

and hold up signs what is this what was that the cameo came in. Of who? For Patreon. Who was that? Donald Trump. Okay, good, good, good. Go subscribe to our Patreon, y'all. Yeah. You'll get plenty of shout outs from celebrities. And on that note. Let's end it.

Let's end it. Goodbye, everybody. See ya. See you in the next one. Goodbye. Goodbye. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain.

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