supermegashow - EP 235 - Our Secret OnlyFans

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

We talk about starting an OnlyFans, Jennette, and trying to get healthy...again. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/SuperMega  To get your 15% off your first order, free shipping, a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: MeUndies.com/SUPERMEGA To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MINTMobile.com/SuperMega New customers can get a Harry’s Starter Set and a FREE Body Wash for just $3 at HARRYS.COM/SUPERMEGA.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. so this is episode 235 of the super mega cast and we're back again um honestly like i don't have any subjects or any fun little stories to talk about uh Y'all can go ahead and just click off this one. I don't know. I just...

I don't have a very... a very entertaining life at the moment. You do. Well, never mind. Anyway. But you do. You just shot a music video yesterday. I did, yeah. I shot my first music video for a song that's not out yet.

Yeah, it's a feature on Freddie Dredd's new album, right? Dude, don't spoil it, man. I'm sorry, dude. On EVE's new album. It's on EVE's new harpsichord album featuring A$AP Rocky, which I'm very excited about. Yeah, I shot a music video with Tucker and spent all Saturday building a set.

And Carson and Eef. No, just Tucker. Yeah, no, Tucker and a little crew of Carson helped and Ethan helped. Adam. And Adam. And then a guy named Moses and a guy named Madison

and a guy named Moses and a guy named Madison and a guy named Eddie. A guy, a guy, a guy. You know, I'm sensing a pattern here, Matthew. Hey, I didn't. I wasn't the one that put this crew together. First of all, that was Tucker. So you can take it. So Tucker went.

Who's the most capable? Exactly. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know how Tucker is like. What if the camera lady's on her period that day exactly she might start zooming in when she's not supposed to she might she might forget to take the lens cap off because she's having such menstrual cramps exactly you know how it works man it's like that's that's that's why the film industry is the way it is

i think guys are severely more affected affected emotional affected by their by their horniness like their decision making and their added like mind and shit changes what do you think what do you i don't know i was about to say it it affects like a dude's brain more than like a period seems like it's definitely something to contend with and it will make you more agitated but i can't see like horniness legitimately makes you do things that after you know after the classic after you uh dump dump your load in a toilet clarity yeah you just go damn it this is gross yeah yeah no it's it's it's it's it's something that clouds your it like overrides all logical thinking well it's like your brain it's like you're like the the biology going you're done go to bed yeah well it's like rest for the next pump it's like your brain just switches to them over it's like yeah the whole purpose of you existing is to to procreate

now so uh everything else that's logical fuck it you're gonna you're gonna this is you gotta have sex now but then women get to have fucking like what? 30 second full body pig like orgasms. Like a pig rolling around in the mud. Yes. Squealing and hollering. Yeah. Fucking just going off in their trough.

You know, I remember reading that shit on Wikipedia when I was like 14. I was like, women have much longer orgasms. That's not fair. That's the that's one thing. But I'm more jealous of the whole full body thing because like our orgasms are essentially just oh yeah that's the perfect way to describe it just just oh ah just like take it as shit it's very quick it's quick feels good when it's when it's going out and then it's like afterwards it's like you know you might have a little bit of blood like if you put in that much work should we at least get half a minute of of decency but no oh it's like it's like six seconds of like and not only that after after after you fucking bust your cums, your cummies.

After you splurt your cums. I hate cummies and all that shit. I hate that shit, dude. But after you split your gourd, you, uh, I don't know. Those are great terms. You just, you just also just, here's the next part, right? Women can just fucking orgasm and then they'll be like, I'm down for round two. Let's go for round three.

At least your mom. But, come on. Okay, that's good. That's good. That's good. But like. She is like that. I feel like maybe it's because I'm an unhealthy dude. But I feel like I'm like one and done for at least.

I need a, you need, you need a break. I need, for at least I need a, you need, you need a break. I need, I need, I need more than one hour, possibly two or three, possibly four.

Yeah. Maybe more. It's dude. It's like, I'm low on my juices, man. It's like, there's only so much within,

within the nuts that you can drain. I got to go drink some more milk to fill up the load. I got to, that's what it is, right? Yeah. I got to drain the piss out of my balls and I got to go drink some more milk to fill up the load. I got to, that's what it is, right? Yeah. I got to drain the piss out of my balls and I got to fill it, fill it back up with milk.

And it's, it's, you know, it's, I, I hear these stories. These guys brag. It was like,

Oh yeah, dude, I can, I can, I can, I can blow a load. I'm like 10 minutes later, do it again.

And it's like, all right, fucking Dirk Diggler. I, I can't. So. Yeah. But that's when there comes like cottage cheese coming out like a fucking like volcano like coming to life on its own like a shitty volcano like one that's like a science fair volcano that's like see i i would rather just shoot a uh a 10 foot streak of clear liquid uh with three sperm

lands on my wall or in my hair, on my forehead. And I just leave it on the wall. I had a friend actually in college. No. He came on the wall. No, it's related to that. I visited his home. And you came on his wall? Yeah.

It's like a guest book sign-in. There's one room where everybody goes in and just jerks off somewhere on the wall. He told me two times, he's like a guest book sign-in at their house. There's one room where everybody goes in and just jerks off somewhere on the wall. Well, he took me to his house. He's like, yo, you want to see something gross? And I was like, sure. And he takes me into the guest room. And he's like, my little cousin, he's like 14.

He stayed with us for a couple months. And every single day, he would jerk off and just come on the wall under the desk for some reason. What? And he showed me. He pulled the desk for some reason what and he showed me he pulled the desk back and was like check it out and it was literally disgusting dude like it was like three feet wide you have to embarrass that kid they had to bring it up no he didn't you have to when a kid's that young you need to mortify it was disgusting the entire wall is like your 14 year old cousin is coming on your wall.

It was funny, dude. And I was like, I was like, do your parents know? He's like, I don't know. I'm like, dude, that's gross, man. If I lived in the if that was my house and I found out that anyone came on my wall, I would be like, you're going to read. You're going to clean that up. You're going to you're going to you're going to repaint re wallpaper. You're going to get you're going to get on your hands and knees and lick that shit off the wall. Cause you put it there,

you're taking it off. Yeah. The words of Bob Chandler, you, you uploaded it, you unload it. So under, yeah.

So he was like jerking it under the desk. It was like, it was like to hide it, I guess, you know? Okay. It was disgusting. It was just streaks.

Interesting. The socks were my, were my way of, of quote unquote hiding it. Cause I still would have to do, you know, laundry, laundry would still have to do, you know, laundry. Laundry would still have to get done, so you just throw them in the hamper and there's no tissues in the garbage can. There was a period where it was very obvious what I was doing because there would be, like, nothing but tissues.

And I'm like, sorry. Mom walks in your room and it's just, like, nothing but just wadded up toilet paper. My nose was running. Yeah, exactly. Man, I just felt congested last night. You have to fake it all day. Hey, speaking of congestion, man, I don't, I mean, next podcast episode, I might sound a little different.

Actually, no, probably not. My nose will probably still be swollen. So I'll probably be like that more on the next episode. You're going to have like a funny little like bandage on your nose. No bandages. No? They said I just walk out the same day with no bandages or anything okay i'm getting a septoplasty uh later this week for my nose so i can finally breathe um because it's like i've done it before here's my left nostril here's my right nostril

it's disgusting yeah that's the best i can fucking breathe out of it like it's gonna be great you're finally gonna be able to breathe well again and not Yeah, that's the best I can fucking breathe out of it. It's going to be great. You're finally going to be able to breathe well again. And not just that, that's also going to benefit your sleep. Oh, so well, dude. Because the problem, the reason you're having trouble sleeping right is because of your breathing. Specifically. Yeah, that's what they think is like the main thing. And I think that that contributes to narcolepsy and all that sleep shit I have.

Because I don't get enough air when i sleep i think and uh i think that they said i have sleep apnea but i feel like they might have just mistook my difficulty breathing as sleep apnea on the sleep test because i don't have any of the other really like major symptoms of sleep apnea other than the interrupted sleep from my breathing, which I think is just because I'm not getting enough air. So it makes like you wake up, I wake up. Well, I don't wake up like gasping for breath. I think I just don't get enough. So my body, I just wake up because it's like, but I wake up like 10, 20 times a night now. So I'm ready to just get my nose holes open wide.

So, cause I don't breathe through my nose when I sleep. I always have to breathe through my mouth and it's annoying. I think everyone breathes through their nose and mouth when they sleep. Cause they just go, I can't breathe through my nose when I sleep though. Like if you had to only rely on one nostril,

like if you had your mouth taped like this and you had to only breathe for like 10 minutes out of only one nostril to survive, you could probably – That sucks. It would suck. You could probably do it. I would like – I would not be able to do it. I'd die if it was my right nostril. But yeah, I'm going in.

They're taking apart the inside of my nose like a bunch of Legos and putting it back together. It's good. But they're going to take a piece – like one of the Legos, toss it out, rearrange some. Probably not going to feel too good the first few days. Well, luckily. Just a lot of probably, I'd imagine, pressure. Yeah, they said it's going to be like a lot of pressure, like swollen. And then it's going to be a lot of drippage.

A lot of drippage. Dude, you're going to have to. Sorry, I'm so bored. But anyways, you're going to have to. Sorry, I'm so bored. But anyways, you're going to have to plug up your nose with some nose plugs or something. Yeah, they said that. Cork that shit up. They got to put me under, dude. Because they're going to put you under the desk to pay for it.

Wink, wink. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, insurance doesn't. Insurance, luckily, you know, America is great because without insurance, this would cost $7,000. And with insurance, now I only have to pay $4,000. But luckily, they let you pay in Bitcoin. Yeah, I paid them a-

0.5 Bitcoin for my- Less than that. Yeah, like what, 0.25? No. Less. Like 0.15, I don't know know i love that uh i don't fucking know i don't keep up with the market one of the guys that was on my shoot yesterday was telling me how back in like 2010 he had like hundreds of bitcoin and he would use it to buy stuff online uh and he's like yeah i had hundreds and hundreds of bitcoin and i'm like if i would just save that shit he didn't if he forgot and didn't touch it And I'm like, if he just saved that shit.

If he didn't, if he forgot and didn't touch it, he'd be like a huge multimillionaire now. Yeah. That is just, for those of you who are listening to the podcast. Tucker's brother too, has a ton lost on a hard drive somewhere. Sucks to suck.

You just can't get it back if you don't know how to get the password. Well, anyone who's lost big in the stock market in the comment section, ha ha. Stupid. Dummy dum dum. Yeah, maybe you guys should just save your money. Put it in a Roth IRA or something.

I don't know. A SEP. Maybe a money market account perhaps. Yeah, maybe put it into an investment portfolio instead of that stupid crypto bullshit. Fucking dumbasses. That stock market shit. Dude, I'm going to go invest in Disney. Fucking dumbasses. That stock market shit. Dude, I'm gonna go invest in

Disney. Bugger off. How about invest in these nuts? More like. Yeah. It's a much better return on your investment. Yeah, I'm gonna invest more of my time into your mom. Ooh. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I got about five dollars I'm about to invest

in an all day special with your mom's pussy. Oh shit, let me, shit Matt. Let me check the, oh I'm late5 I'm about to invest in an all-day special with your mom's pussy. Oh, shit. Let me, shit, Matt. Let me check the, oh, I'm late. I'm late for your mom's pussy appointment. Oh, damn, dude. I thought she rescheduled that one because she was too worn out from last time. Oh, no, no.

We got to get at least three in a week. Okay. If you're only doing two, then you might as well not even be, you know. No point. Yeah. Does insurance cover that or is that just out of pocket out of pocket you know you're whipping it out of your pocket insurance does not cover she has to pay in full i wish that oh dude we should make a new pair of

pants that doesn't have a zipper brand new pants dude the brand new pants uh because like you know the zippers are already far away like the release of is someone here it sounded like someone was just creeping outside the door hey I see a shadow or maybe I'm imagining it I'm just gonna just steal whatever you want

just go just don't hurt us we're recording a podcast there's nothing in here worth stealing besides expensive microphones and our hearts. If it's a very handsome burglar, then maybe. He just walks in. He's so handsome. We'll let him get away with it.

What if we walk out at the end? It's like, hi, man. Goodbye. Open the door. It's like, everything's gone. And then they catch him. They leave a note. It's like, thanks.

Sorry, didn't want to interrupt. But then we find him and he goes to court and like we sue him and he's like, they said that I could. And then they plug this audio and they're like, he gets to keep it all. Is that a verbal? Is that what a verbal contract is? Are verbal contracts even legally binding? I don't think so.

Is a handshake legally binding? I don't know. Technically, a verbal contract is what the police do when they are supposed to do when they arrest someone, right? That's a verbal contract. Yeah, the do when they are supposed to do when they arrest someone. Right. That's a verbal contract. Yeah. The Miranda.

Miranda Cosgrove rides. They just sing the iCarly theme song. Dude, they're doing a reboot. iCarly. Yeah. Just without Jeanette McCurdy. No Sam. Because she was all like, fuck that show.

Fuck this one producer who she did not name, which we all know who he is of the show. Did she? Yeah. She was like, this one producer was just abusive and very mean. It could have not been him. Well, there's several dudes that work at Nickelodeon that I've heard about that are not good. One of the guys, for instance. It's got to be Dan, dude. It's got to be.

Otherwise, she'd fucking defend. She's like, I'm not. I know he gets a lot of flack. Like, if he was a decent guy, I feel like when she would be saying that, she she would be like i hear a lot of the jokes that people are saying online and it's unfair i'm not talking about him there are other people in nickelodeon that that that made my time a living hell but part of me is because she didn't defend well gibby guy that played he was like the feet thing is weird he was on a podcast talking about and he was like that that shit looking back is weird he said that was weird and he said they asked him if he knew anything about the Dan Schneider stuff.

And he said if it happened, he never was aware of it. Bullshit. But he said, but he also was like, but I mean, I don't know. It's possible. I don't know. I'm kidding. I'm not trying to throw shade at Gibby. I've watched a documentary on Dan.

It's some weird shit. Also, Nickelodeon doesn't have a good track record with high. Like, for instance, one producer, I think he was a producer some high up there he worked on a lot of shows he went to jail for uh child pornography and also i think some stuff beyond that uh rocko's dude rocko's modern life was that even that was nickelodeon but he went to jail did that show did a pedo uh not rocko uh i think it ran in stimpy who's oh ren and stimpy whoops sorry rocko That was Nickelodeon. But he went to jail. Wasn't the guy who created that show a pedo? Not Rocco. What? I'm thinking of Ren and Stimpy.

Oh, Ren and Stimpy. Whoops, sorry, Rocco. The guy's like, you motherfucker! Because the people that might have clicked off right after that because they had to get going. I'll title the episode, Creator of Rocco's Modern Life, a Pedophile? Exclamation point? Question mark. Real? creator of Rocco's modern life a pedophile exclamation point question mark real hey the question mark is what makes it legal right because because you're you're like I'm not accusing

them I'm like is he a pedophile I love that shit where it's like I'm not bad mouth apparently he's not it was it was Ren and Stimpy that was my bad he's apparently a big groom Rocco's pretty epic right yeah he's epic as far as I know okay Nickelodeon did they apparently a big groomer. Rocco's pretty epic, right? Yeah. He's epic. As far as I know. Okay. Nickelodeon did, they had a big guy go to prison for child stuff.

The big guy? How big? He was fat. Oh, my God. How embarrassing. But as soon as he got out, they rehired him. Like, back to his old role after he got out. And they just made him do a contract where it's like, oh, you can't come in contact with children,

but you can still come back to work. Okay. At Nickelodeon. Uh-huh. Where they make shows for kids and where all their shows start. Yeah. Star Kids. Okay. You would think from a PR perspective,

you wouldn't want to hire the pedophile. But SpongeBob. That's true. Well, he didn't work on SpongeBob. No, I'm just saying. He actually had voice lines in an iCarly episode. The guy. Take it off.

Okay. We're definitely going to have to cut that. That's not what it says in the script. I'm going to have to, the line was, uh, Freddie, Freddie,

come to the front desk, please. Your mother is here. That's not what, what we put in the script. So try that one again. Dude, even when I was a kid, the actor, I forget his name, who played Freddy.

Do you know his name? Who cares? Anyways. Nathan. Nathan Kress. Barnett. Nathan Barnett. He did some great makeup.

Nathan Kress. Big Christian. But I always thought like he was like a very Nickelodeon actor like it was like Nickelodeon and then no I feel bad what if eventually he like sees this and he's upset with me. You know he's a big fan of Super Mega. No he's not none of them even know who we are besides Jeanette McCurdy who you shared an Uber with

you had to tell her you told her about Super Mega it's the first thing before I said anything else I said hey Jeanette hey Super Mega, Super Mega, right? And she goes, what? And I said, Super Mega, your favorite YouTube channel. She was scared. But now she remembers me forever.

Jeanette was super. She was in a lot of the headlines and recommended stuff for like a good week, maybe two weeks, probably a week. It was just because she went on Jordan Peterson's daughter's podcast. She did? Yeah, and talked about just mental health. I think she said she's just done with acting. Good.

Dude, if I, like after her on the Eric Andre showre show i'd be done with like i'd be like i'm done with hollywood that would have got me back in she she just having fun she did not seem happy about that energy she seemed like she took it with stride you know you can tell she was very uncomfortable he's like up her face and he's drenched in sweat she's like okay okay she was very short she's a very uh apparently she's a very just shy person. But every time we hang out, she's just so quiet. Yeah.

It's probably, well, no, I'm not gonna make that joke. Skip that. Do you think if I asked Miranda Cosgrove out on a, on a date, she'd say yes.

Yes. You know, I saw a trailer for a movie she's in now. With, uh, uh, uh, Spider-Man. What's his name? Tobey Maguire? Andrew Garfield? Other one.

Tom Holland? Yeah. Tom Holland and Miranda Cosgrove in love. Wait, what? Are you sure you're not thinking of Chaos Walking or whatever the one with Daisy Ridley from the Star Wars movies definitely Miranda Cosgrove because I watched the trailer and I was like oh

wait what's Miranda Cosgrove is in a movie with Tom Holland what casting director allowed this to happen I don't know are you sure it's not Daisy Ridley in a blonde wig I promise it's Miranda Cosgrove there's no mistaking I Carly Miranda it's on Netflix now I in a blonde wig. I promise it's Miranda Cosgrove. There's no mistaking iCarly. Miranda Cosgrove.

It's on Netflix now. I need to start binging it. It's on Netflix? It's a show? No, no, no. iCarly's on Netflix now. Is it called North Hollywood? What's this?

Yeah, North Hollywood. That's it. Okay, North Hollywood. She plays Rachel. Man, Tom Holland ain't in this shit. Shit, wait. Who is it then? I fucked up.

Why did I think it was Tom Holland? Ryan McLaughlin is in it. Dude, I swear that I thought it was Tom Holland. There's a guy that looks like Tom Holland. You're probably thinking of Thomas Barbusca who plays Alter Boy.

I don't know. I don't know. Well, she's in a movie. She's in a movie about... Were you thinking of this dude? Is that the dude you thought Tom Holland was? No. I watched the trailer the other night. that the dude you thought Tom Holland was no I watched the trailer late at night is this who you thought Tom Holland was

I think that might be him yeah I showed I zoomed in on a picture of the African American oh I don't know

if he's American so the yeah the black man I don't know what to I know that feels like I feel like I'm in a trap every time yeah

there's like no like right way these days where i can say that i can't just call them out by their color i can't just say the black what the hell well my father certainly does um but speaking of movies dude i watched two pretty good movies this week. Oh, shit. I watched Minari with Steven Yeun. I love Steven Yeun because I was introduced to him in The Walking Dead. He's the only thing I've seen him in besides Walking Dead. He's great. Amazing.

And after The Walking Dead, I saw him in something else. But then the big thing that I really liked him in was Burning, which you and I need to swap places because you need to see Burning and I need to see Minari now. Because you love Minari and I love Burning. I watched Minari twice this week. Didn't ask. It's a really good movie. Steven Yeun is incredible. As always. If you don't want to be spoiled by the Walking Dead shit,

then fast forward a little. I'm not going to give you a time code. Deal with it. Those motherfuckers! Those fucking bastards! I was on the episode just before. The, uh, well, see, I'd only seen The Walking Dead, so I was never really, like, that into Steven Yeun, because I was just like, oh, you know, it's just walking dead. It's probably a gif that he got killed off.

I mean, that he got fucked off. Yeah. That scene was really sad, though, I will say. The one that you just beeped out. Yeah. That scene was really sad, though. I will say. The one that you just beeped out. Yeah. What happened? Very sad.

Yeah. Really upsetting. I watched it and I was like, Jesus. Yeah, they really went overboard with that one. They kind of went really overboard with that one. Yeah, they didn't really give him a final line or anything. It's like, whoo! I mean, final line dictated.

I mean, that's spoiler-esque. I don't know. It's The Walking Dead. People, like, it's so far gone now. Hold on one second. Yeah, no, Minari is fucking incredible. It's worth a watch. It's, I watched it on Amazon Video, but it's about a Korean family that immigrates to Arkansas in the 1980s.

And it's just about their family life falling apart. And it's just fucking good. Fantastic movie. The music is, the soundtrack is one of my favorite parts. It's just one of those movies that has just like a soundtrack that just hits so hard.

And it repeats throughout the movie. So like you get a feel for like that one specific tune that they keep playing. Oh yeah. And then it just starts to hit. And then I watched American Psycho for the first time the other night. I'd never the first time i'd never seen any of it christian

bale is so fun to watch in that movie he's such a fucking good character because i actually it was not a good character in the movie you know he's a bad character he's a bad boy real bad boy um but i got i got home from the from the day of of construction on Saturday, the set. And I was like, I'm going to watch American psycho, which is, you know, what's really weird about it. No. Shortly into the movie,

I realized that Tucker had been referencing that movie earlier in the day. And I just completely by coincidence. What was he referencing? Uh, the business card scene. It's like eggshell bone, like that stuff. And I,

I heard him and Adam, uh, like joking around about that. I had no idea what it was when I got home and I watched it and I was like

no way fucking film students over here right right yeah I've seen American Psycho have you ever seen Stanley Kubrick no

Rosebud am I right oh chaplain anyone anybody ever seen A Trip to the Moon movie sucks ass A Trip to the moon it's horrible imagine seeing it back then though imagine how terrifying you would have been it's terrifying

now dude the fucking that moon with the ship in its eye yeah it's the thing of my nightmares but some old movies still hold up like uh i forget his name always because he's employee of the month no no it starts with a b i think it's not bernie it's like fuck me dude he was the movie's called the general it's like one of my favorite older films yeah buster keaton that's it okay wait is the general the one where he's on a train and you for a great low rate you can get on no no no no no go to the general safe come on dude no it's it's it's about a i think it's i think that's the general hold up the general safe sometime? Come on, dude. No, it's about a... I think that's the general. Hold up. The general.

He's the little dude for car insurance. You're still going for it. Can you get a great low rate? You can get online. I think it's... Yeah. Go to the general. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just like a... Even the jackass dudes talk about buster keaton because it's like his like buster keaton was slapstick humor it was much it was very chaplain-esque except i know who he is i like i know his name i just don't know if i like i can't picture him he's very famous for having like bug like emotionless buggy eyes that kind of like i mean i say emotionless he did there was a lot of emotion but he had like this type of face a lot mopey i guess i would describe it oh yay i see his face yeah interesting looking dude he's like he's like very unconventionally handsome i mean i've i

haven't watched anything like on the scale of minari but i watched the emperor's new groove yesterday and then before that uh me and justin and kelly and our friend layton were watching uh all the harry potter movies oh really all of them like in a row yeah so right now so we watched the philosopher's stone which is the first one and then i think on yeah okay i can't remember if i said this on the podcast i watched i watched 500 days of summer for the first time that was sad it's sad in a good way but it's like in a like i actually just was just frustrated with the main character throughout the whole film like he constantly like made me cringe into myself a little like the stuff when he would like try to play his music louder when she was passing his desk i'm like dude it's very chill

out it's very much like uh i get what we've all been there you know it's like one of those things where it's like you cringe because it's like oh i've been there well it's because like the it's it's all about the i mean there's been video essays about it and it's a very popular phrase the manic pixie dream girl which is essentially the girl that you crush on that you think will fill in all the holes of your life where you have not filled in any yourself. Therefore, all of your expectations lead to going into them. And so you're disappointed when it doesn't work out the way you want. And then you feel like life is, you know, life sucks. Great advice, people.

If look, look, read up on that theory theory because you might be like, oh, shit. I definitely. It's hard to not get into it sometimes because it's just emotions. I feel like everyone goes through once. Emotions are emotions. You know, we all, whether you're in a relationship or not, I feel like you generate crushes and you generate feelings just in different relationships. I've fucking been there. I learned a lot, though.

Oh, yeah. Very crucial learning experience in my life I think helped me value myself more I've definitely learned a lot from my past relationships I don't think I've had one of those instances

there's still a lot of time though I'm only in my late 20s now I think the one that taught me the most was these ad reads. Ooh. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.

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only at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Those were kind of good. Those were, yeah. All right, you know. It was decent. Yeah. I mean, decent is a good way.

Just decent. Y'all should go, you know, support the podcast by, I don't know, whatever you want to do. Hey, Paul! What movie's that from? The American Psycho. I was just talking about it. No, sorry. I just, it's sucho I was just talking about it sorry it's such a

he's talking about Huey Lewis such an off oh you're talking it's the one with Jared Leto where he kills Jared Leto

it's like hey Paul and he's like he goes and then he yeah that movie I really Jared Leto's very pretty

he is dude so actually such that he's a fucking narcissistic weirdo yeah oh yeah cause Jared Leto's a he's a fucking narcissistic weirdo yeah oh yeah Jared Leto is a good actor sometimes sometimes he has the potential to be a good

actor and he's a good musician too but no go on sorry do you not like 30 seconds to Mars 30 seconds to Mars dude I just think there is this point where 30 seconds to Mars it's good 30 seconds to Mars dude no it's fine I just think I just like

there's there is this point where I just can't enjoy something if someone goes a little too uh like

I don't it's not like I'm looking down on them but after the whole like cult shit and like the bullshit Joker stuff I don't know

there's just there comes a point where it's like okay you're kind of cringe and you need to you need to figure out just kind of your life i guess what i was maybe he has and i'm just being a dick but i don't probably not he's he's a little he just seems like a like a sad man who wants everyone to love him but nobody close to him

does can we pay the money to go to one of his retreats and like talk to him and stuff but vlog the whole experience of us going to Jared Leto's cult? The whole time we get there and we realize that it's just like three course meals of him pissing into our mouths each day. Dude, it's Jared Leto. That's the Joker, baby. I'd let him do it. You know what's funny?

Like the first like 20 minutes of the movie Suicide Squad? No. In um No, in American Psycho I thought for some reason in my head Like the first like 20 minutes of the movie. Suicide Squad? No. In, um. Minari? No, in American Psycho. I thought, for some reason in my head, I just got this dumb shit confused where I was like, I got Jared Leto and Heath Ledger confused. So I remember looking and being like, watching his character, I'm like, oh man, it's too

bad he died. And when I looked up, I was like, how did Jared Leto die? And when I was like, oh, now I'm thinking of heath ledger yeah heath ledger that that was an unfortunate passing dude now i got jared leto's music stuck in my head bury me bury me it's good it's good shit dude that shit was in guitar hero world tour and this kid I had a youtube rivalry with uh when in middle school uploaded a video of him unboxing that and got

a hundred thousand views in one day and I was just and then he uploaded a video of him doing a drum cover of of uh that song by 30 seconds to mars little fucker he did it on expert and it was amazing. Then he told me in secret, oh yeah, I had auto

base on, so I'm not actually hitting the base. What? And that got 100,000 views too, and I was like... There should be some visual indicator if you're using auto base. Well, he's filming on a shitty camcorder and he's filming himself from the back, so you can't see his foot. Well, I'm saying like a visual indicator

on screen to let people know you're being a little bitch. Yeah, you're being a little fucking – Because I can't do the foot pedal. A little piss baby. The foot pedal is fun, and it's – It's fun? I can't get the rhythm down. It's hard.

It's funny because I can do drums where I can do – It's like three different rhythms at once, but I can't do piano for the life of me, which is like just sometimes just two at once. I've only played the violin, i played in recorder in elementary school everyone played the recorder that shit was dope come on we the that's what it sounded like. Classroom of kids. You don't know the rhythm. So you're just like, you're like, I have to hit the next note. I think. I remember we got, we got, we got like bands on ours. So like we'd have our recorder and it would be like, every time you like mastered a new level,

you should take like a different color string of yarn and like wrap it around the end so like some kids have like six and i was like damn and i had like one because i was really bad at the recorder and there were those kids that get up to me like through the fire and the flames guitar hero 3 um but goddamn dude that shit sucked i also liked that the recorders were like reused from other students so i remember they would just uh put them all in a dishwasher you just go home and wash it yourself you bitch that mine was always my backpack i the recorder is honestly it's like it's like a children's instrument but it's it's an easy ass good instrument you know we should get some and i'd love to get really good at the recorder

sorry i just remembered something and like i remember it and i'm just like why though it was in elementary school and it has to and because we're thinking of recorders and old time you know stuff we did in elementary school i don't know if they did it in your elementary school but there was always like one language class that it's like hey just start to learn this language and in my elementary school it was french and so you would just learn basic colors letters i forgot it all you got french that's awesome i don't get spanish so we were learning french and i remember in one of the classes the teacher decided it would be a good idea to because it would help us learn, I guess, to watch all of the Lion King in French, no subtitled. So we're just like, yeah, he's just like, I don't want to do anything.

I mean, at least put subtitles on like we're I mean, we can barely read. I like to think that like elementary school is at the point of just barely knowing like the colors, like somehow watching a movie in full French dialogue is somehow going to help them. Oh, yeah. They'll understand some of this, right? No, they're going to understand none of it. Because also when you're learning French in school, it's like Francais. Yeah. Bonjour.

And the movie's like. That's how the frogs speak. Our teacher loved it when we called her mademoiselle. Mademoiselle. Not madame. Cool. She said it made her sound old. When she had gray hair, she was old.

She's an old bitch. We're kids. Fat old bitch. She's old compared to us. And I also think that. She wasn't fat, though. Yeah. Well, that ass was.

I do remember that. She was tight. Yes, she was. Well, I, no, not like, no, Matt, not like that. That's illegal. What do you mean that's illegal? For her, not me. Well, not anymore.

What? I'm talking about you waited until you were 18 to have sex with your teacher. Oh, okay. The respectable thing to do. Unlike someone we know. I actually ended up like getting a handjob from one of my professors in college. He taught geology. Yeah.

It's pretty cool. And he said, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I was going to make a great joke. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Rock hard because geology. He said, let me show you something that's harder than a rock if your friend goes through something and they say they don't want to talk about it anymore is your first your first so your first reaction is just to continue going comedy even though even though twice in a row i said i don't want to talk about it anymore we're under the comedy podcast section on streaming

services so i just thought it would be a funny joke, but I'm sorry if that, I'm sorry that you were upset. I think the joke's on us. That we're under the comedy podcast. We actually do have a friend that had sex with his teacher in high school. Did we? Who? Jackson.

No. Oh, no. What? So what were we talking about? That's funny. Dude, you're the one farting now i know like i never fart on the podcast but today it's it's the day it's the day of farts dude i feel i feel decent today man i've been working out on a regular basis i've been getting here a little bit later than you when i come here you are already sitting there with the weights just fucking you're in in a good mood, too. I did some, too, for the first time. Because I see you and the Tucker brothers fucking pumping iron.

And Harrison's jacked. Carson's getting there. Jackson getting there as well. Yeah. And you guys are all just like so inspiring to see. Because we built a little gym in the Super Megaplex garage with like a weight bench and some weights. And a shitty bike for some reason that i we didn't ask for a bike i don't think but i don't need cardio my doctor told me

he's like he's like do minimal cardio when you work out because i need a lot of i need to do more cardio i've been mainly like the only cardio i'm doing right now is jumping jacks i need to do more my doctor said i just need to focus on a like high intensity like weight stuff and then yes he said do cardio still because it's good for your cardiovascular system but like he said the way my metabolism body works like if I do

regular amounts of cardio I will just burn off calories too fast to the point where it's like that was for me I wish I wish we could trade

I see I just want to get rid of this dude I'm for those who don't know I'm he's grabbing his penis no I'm grabbing my's grabbing his penis.

No, I'm grabbing my stomach. My penis isn't that big. You haven't gotten that excited yet. But I'm grabbing all of my fat. And look how much that is, Matt. I want all of this to go. Dude, it is going to go. Don't get discouraged. I've been bigger.

I've been much bigger than this. Take this, dude. What? Way bigger? Well, I'm just trying to feel better. I'm been bigger I've been much bigger than this take this dude what way bigger well I'm just trying I mean I'm gonna be honest I have been way bigger I have been 230 pounds that was that moment where right when you said way bigger I was just like no like two lovely uncles era I think right now I'm like you're looking great man one there's no way you could say you're fat I'm tubby i'm a tubby little dumpster baby you little dumpster i just want to gain some i want some abs and some pecs and some i just want to get casey fray like shoulders you gotta just like can i have casey fray get some weight and

do that do that do that a bit work out your back shit i just want to i'm talking like i like I've actually done much, but I haven't done anything to where any physical results have been noticeable. But eventually, in time, hopefully that'll happen. Unless I'm just being a baby and not working out the right way. I just remember that. You remember that one month I gained 20 pounds? Yeah. Which was because I hadn't gained any weight for like two years, but I gained 20 pounds one month because I started making those protein shakes, which I never want to even think of again. But honestly, I should – I made these protein shakes.

I probably talked about them back in 2017 or 2018 when I was doing it. Did you do like workouts at all? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was working out too. So I worked out and drank these every day and I gained 20 pounds. And it was noticeable. Like I had – you can go back to certain mailroom videos and I have like actual meat on my bones.

But then it went away because I stopped doing it. But I would just make these protein shakes where I got this super high caloric protein powder that was like full of vitamins and calories already. And then I was like, all right, I'm going to make a protein shake. But how can I like just put on as much weight as possible, as fast as possible? So instead of milk or water, I used heavy cream. And then I put like bananas peanut butter dates uh the heavy cream dude is what really did it it i calculated it uh each shake was like 3600 calories oh fuck and it was it was impossible to drink a was so thick b it was like three sips and you're like so full already because it's just straight like heavy cream and protein. I was like,

I almost threw up several times trying to finish one. It would take me like an hour and a half just to drink one. It's like a four course meal pretty much. I'm used to eating meals that are like 100 calories, not 3,600. That's not good. Like today, I ate

you didn't have much of yours, did you? I ate some more after you. Okay. Because I, I don't know. It's just I, I'm one of those monkey brain nimrods who gets excited about the thought about biting in and tearing through meat and eating it. Like when I'm craving, like when I'm hungry, I'm like, I just want to bite into like a big chicken leg. Or I want to like take a steak and just like just take a big old bite. And I get cravings for meat.

So I got like half a rotisserie chicken and it was delicious. I got some natural protein. The Tucker brothers bought. Oh, they supplied you with some natural protein after that workout. I saw you natural protein. The Tucker brothers bought – Oh, they supplied you with some natural protein after that workout. I saw you guys. You know what I'm saying? They bought like this whey protein stuff. Is it good?

I haven't tried it yet. Honestly, for some reason, I remember back in the day, Daniel, I think, tried some – like Daniel and I were trying to like work out, you know, how everyone goes through stages. This might just be another stage that I quit. Well, that's why I'm trying to jump on it at the same time as you, because I feel like I've been wanting to for so long and just haven't. I'm like, I'm about to start. I'm about to start. But I'm scared once I finally am like, oh, I'm starting.

You guys are going to be done with it. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm 26. If not now, then when? Yeah, I got to start treating my body like a temple. You know what I just ordered off of Amazon? I ordered some sunscreen lotion to put on my face I was just about to say dude

because that is the two things that age you the fastest you're smoking I think also drinking too well like basically any kind of drug you'll be proud of me dude I started drinking casual well not really like I'll have

one cider every now and then through the week my dude but sometimes i just come home and i just pull out the the stella artois cider man like after a long day of work just to crack one back i like i get why dads do it in every every move it's like after a long day it's nice to to get buzzed and unwind as long as you don't take it too far exactly Exactly. Like someone in this room. It's not Ryan. Get out, Jim. Jim, go.

Smoking, drinking, and the sun. The sun fucking will age you like crazy. So if you put on sunscreen, it's like that's the best way to combat aging while you're young. You'll age so much better because you won't get wrinkles as much. You won't get saggy. I feel like stress is going to be the thing that ages me the most. I'm just, I wouldn't say I'm stressed every day. Well, you got blessed with perfect skin genetically.

You know what that means, Matt? There's a great tumble coming. There's a storm coming. No, dude, you just got great skin. It's smooth as hell. I'm looking at it from here. It's like a porcelain doll. No, no, no. Yeah, dude. Dude, when's the last time you had acne? A single zit. No, I'll get those every now and then. Sometimes they'll be like in my

nose. Sometimes they'll be like right here on my cheek. I don't, I cannot remember. I remember one time you had a zit and you were like freaking out about it and that's the last time I can remember and that was years ago. I just started breaking out a little bit, but it's going away i only break out now the only place i break out is on the sides of my face like right where my cheekbone is okay and that's where i had that cyst on my face too well all of my acne goes to goes to my bum bum so hey better that than the face that is true you

know because people aren't looking at your bum bum all day that is true the only person looking at my bum bum is myself and sometimes you yeah i see it i look at it sometimes tucker and justin because we film super megan i pull my pants down a lot yeah justin has had to censor some bum bum justin had to censor my penis justin has he had to censor my penis yet i think so i think he's seen my penis has he seen your penis there's definitely's definitely plenty of footage of both of our penis and balls. And Jackson. Actually everyone that's affiliated with Super

Mega, there is plenty of gigabytes of footage of our penis, balls, and butthole. Which is weird because we did upload like some of, we tried this for a bit but no one subscribed because we didn't want to advertise it or anything. But we uploaded some of the uncensored like vlogs and stuff to like a funny little

joke OnlyFans account but no one found it. And the video where we were sword fighting when we had the boners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we added the sword sound effect. Yes.

Yes, dude. That was good. But if anyone finds that if anyone's able to find it. Then you went and ruined it by coming and you didn't even warn me that was going to happen.

I was just having fun. It's just a natural reaction. I know. But I mean, the cartoon sound effects Justin added when you started coming was hilarious. I'm not going to lie. This is totally me when I'm driving. But it's like,

dude, you could make a good bit of money off of OnlyFans. You as an in general. Oh, okay. I was like, me? I think you could make a good bit of money off of OnlyFans. You as an in general. Oh, okay. I was like, me? I think you could. Dude, I just, I can't, I can't be like a content creator that's like. What? Goofy.

Ha ha. And then also it's like, yeah, you know, Superbadguy make a little music. Oh, I also jerk off. Eric Andre has one. Yeah, but he doesn't post frank javsi has one does frank javsi post himself naked i don't know let me see what he posts i have to go subscribe to him yeah well i've noticed actually only fans is finally getting what they want where they're getting actual creators on there that are posting non-lewd things and using it like a patreon

do you think only fans will ever be able to break away from that stigma of being associated only as a porn website? I don't know. Because that's like just what they're known as. I just followed Frank. My name is Frank. I like to make music and videos. I'm in Los Angeles. And it says he has one post where it also says nothing has been found.

So I subscribed, but whatever. It's fine. Damn, dude. Frank with OnlyFans. Yeah. Eric Andre. It's fine. Damn, dude. Frank with the OnlyFans. Yeah. Eric Andre. Let me see. Let me go to Eric Andre's profile real quick.

Is it free? Yeah, it's free. I'm guessing they did this. You know what this is? I bet OnlyFans was like, hey, we want to get more regular creators on here. Like everyday creators that aren't posting pornography. So we'll give you a lot of money to make a free OnlyFans profile. Get people

involved. I can just search them, right? Yeah. Dude, I love that the word American Dream has Eric Andre in it. Let me see. Like in order. American Dream. It sits in there like exactly in order the letters man will i see any

ball sack on his only fans he did this one picture where he's covering up his balls and you see his butt well i've i've already seen eric andre's penis many times oh he likes he used he used to post on instagram i remember he got striked uh idubbbubbbz just posted an NFT of his ball sack. Who did? iDubbbz. An NFT? Mm-hmm. What is that?

The crypto art. I'm going to look up iDubbbz. Just go to his Twitter. It's just a picture of him stretching his ball sack out over the light, and it's an NFT that you can buy with Ethereum. Is it? Okay. Ian Carter. Ian Carter.

Ian Carter. Oh, shit. Damn. That's pinned. Yeah. No, he's trying to. I mean, NFTs make a shit ton of money. Too Mad just made two NFTs, one of each of his breasts.

So he took a picture of his right breast and one of his left breast and sold them as a collectible set. And there's people bidding like five ethereum on that on each one well why would you you can i can see his ball sack why would i need to buy a picture of it that's how nft works it's like you own it like it's it's it's art it's like the same thing as um because it runs on the blockchain it's the same thing as like people buy art even though you can get a replica of the art. You want the. No, but that's the actual picture. It's like it's the it's still this pick. It's not with art.

There's one piece. Well, with NFTs, there's one piece. It's verified on the blockchain as the original. And when you buy it, you like your information is embedded into that and it's yours. So like you own it and then you can trade that later for a higher price. So it's literally it's the same thing as art collecting it's just on a digit it's like the just like how crypto sounds like it's in the beginning stages and they need to figure some stuff out though yeah uh i i have been doing a lot of reading on it because it's definitely

uh not great for the environment i read a big uh article on how it's bad for the environment and i also read a counter article on why people are making a bigger deal about it than it really is. A bunch of pussies? A bunch of neolib pussies? A bunch of neolibtards. I'm just kind of waiting it out. I'm just watching because

it is going to get on a more sustainable system. Yeah. Is that what you would have been like during the civil rights movement? I'm not going to say anything. I'm just watching to see if it fit you know i mean if if they get rights then that's great we all deserve them dude if but i'm not gonna speak up i don't want to i don't want my friends to not like me well i wanted to do nfts because uh i love the concept of i just love collectibles and i love the concept of being able to make something that can just somehow hold value that people can decide and trade it around.

I like that concept. Music videos on YouTube? No, dude. You can't own a music video. I like making rare collectibles and then – because I've always wanted to build a series of collectibles. And I'm like, damn, just like digital gifts as a collectible series is because we can make an NFT. We can make an NFT of us naked, dude. And someone can own us naked. You know, 2Mad, for instance, just on one of his one of his breasts, someone's already bid over five Ethereum.

Each Ethereum token is like seventeen hundred dollars right now. So let me let me put it this way in terms of tracking back to OnlyFans. Do you think it would... Do you think... Dude, I'd make more off of Twitch if I did OnlyFans. I wouldn't even have to show anything.

I'd just show my boobies. You could just make videos of yourself... of you rubbing oil all over yourself. I could have like peanut butter and sour cream. You should just get the diaper and just sit like this and just rub, rub like vegetable oil over yourself. Oh, dude. And if you just posted one of those a week, you would be rich. And then you can you can take that money, invest it into Ethereum and become an even richer man.

I'm mad at myself. Dude, you know what? This time last year, Bitcoin was $3,000. $3,000, $4,000. Now it's $51,000. It's like, God. If only I had a damn time machine. If only, if only.

Same with Ethereum. It was like $200. The bark on the trees. Soft as the sky. Soft as my thighs. Soft as these ad reads. And he cries to the moon

if only, if only. There must be no worse feeling than that moment that that dumbass woke up on that ship and realized I forgot to take her up the mountain! Was he Bill Burr? Oh shit! I forgot to take her up the mountain! Was he Bill Burr? No! Oh, shit!

I forgot to take Madame Soroni up the mountain! You know, back in my day, all you had to do was pray to your god, Zeus, whoever. But now I have to carry this fucking bitch up a mountain, strain my back out. It's ridiculous! She's got two feet! Oh, man. But honestly, like, when he wakes up on that ship and holes god damn dude that that's just got to be like the most heartbreaking feeling because he's like

there's nothing i can do what what who wakes up on a ship and holes yeah remember when there's that that moment it's like the flashback and the the family member wakes up like in the middle of the night on the ship storm and he's And he's like, wait a second. My brain was like, was there a scene? Never mind. That's fucked up. That's why my brain did that. Stanley Yelnats is.

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. He's on the Mayorsk, Alabama, off the coast of Somalia when four armed pirates show up. And Stanley... I am the Yelnats now. Yeah, Stanley Yelnats. Look at me. You know. Look at me.

That'd be a good movie crossover. I am the caveman now. I am the caveman now. Okay. Okay. Well, how does his verse start? Because I know it's... How does his verse start?

Because I know it's... All I know is like, check out the tack, the name is Caveman, huh? I don't know how it starts, though. Two shoots, two tokens in hand. I got no respect because I'm the new man. Got my shovel, shoes full of sand Check out the tack the name's caveman Boom there it is It just comes back

My favorite thing is that you couldn't remember that But that was in your brain already just sitting there It just had to be triggered The neurons the pathways had to just be You've got to go and dig those holes Broken hands And a weathered soul Emancipated for all you know

Would you guys shut the fuck up about Holes? It's just like, we probably sing it every week. Whether it's a Let's Play or a podcast, Holes is... Last time I watched Holes was at our old apartment. We lived together with Tucker. Same. Just me and him watched it. Holes is great.

It's been a while, man. It was back when we lived, like, I think. I didn't live in this... No. You didn't watch it with me and tucker that night no no i didn't watch it with you and tucker i'm saying the last time i watched it was like back in that era of time holes is i don't think i watched that in my new place my mansion my sex den well you could well it's funny because your sex den is holes themed. Should I not talk about that? No. Okay.

Well, people will just think I'm joking anyway. Stop. They'll think I'm joking. Good, good, good, good. Then we should back off of it now. We should probably back off of the entire podcast. Make me. You know, I think it's about time we wrap up this week's episode. Can I put in a little lazy sound effect again?

Why? Because I don't want to put the music on. It's like I have to re-download it and find the spot. I have to re-download it. I don't want to put it on the hard drive at work. You can put in a sound effect. What do you think? You're going to do another fart sound. You've ended like 20 episodes with a fart sound. No, I'm not.

Dude, you get to choose this time. I promise. Okay, just do a duck quacking. I'm just going to do a fart sound. I promise. Okay, just do a duck quacking. I just do a quacking. I will. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a

big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few

taps, because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's a N G I.com.