supermegashow - EP 239 - Death By Soy Sauce

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

Guess what?! We talk about soy sauce, Michael Jackson for the 100th time, and FORTNITE!!!!!!! Visit ExpressVPN.com/supermega to get three extra months free. Go to getneuro.com to order and better your state of mind now. Use code: SUPER for 15% of your first order. To get your 15% off your first order and free shipping go to MeUndies.com/SUPERMEGA Get 15% off at BuyRaycon.com/supermega. As a listener, you’ll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/supermega  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Turn it off. Son, I hear you listening to that bullshit. What is that?

Dad, do you want to listen to this podcast with me? These guys are really funny. Okay, this is the most recent one that came out. Oh, fuck. All right, so there's an ad for some stupid bullshit and then they're moaning? What? Some what? I didn't say that.

That's what the dad listening said. Okay, okay, okay. And that's his opinion. And he has a right to his opinion, however wrong it may be. I know, it's a very wrong opinion. Or maybe it's well-educated. There are wrong opinions. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Just like say everything to get our ads just stripped from us. Well, I mean. I'm kind of surprised they haven't yet, actually. Actually. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. How about that? We also have a contract assigned today, by the way. Regarding that.

For ads. Oh. So. We should probably read this one closely. We could send it off to Jackson to read closely. How about that? And then if we get fucked over we just get mad at Jackson. And it's not like we can't be mad at ourselves.

Exactly. You know? If we mess up and be like, well Jackson should have told us all this. You know? It's a beautiful day in sunny Los Angeles. It feels fantastic. Beautiful day in the neighborhood. Beautiful day in the... What does he say? A beautiful day of what?

In the neighborhood. A beautiful day. Won't you be my... Won't you be my neighbor? Rest in peace. I cried when he died. I remember laying in bed and the lights were off and I was sobbing and my mom had to come in and kiss me and give me hot milk and cookies

to make me feel better. Dude, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But yeah. It's hard to talk about. Everybody dies, unfortunately. Isn't that weird? You're gonna die. I'm gonna die. Whoever's listening to this right now, you're gonna die i'm gonna die whoever's listening

to this right now you're going to die yep there's no it's inevitable it is the it is the one thing in life that you cannot no matter what avoid that's what brings me solace about it i think most of the time is everyone's in the same boat not that everyone is in the same boat but also like think of all the billions of people that have already died. It's like billions of people have gone through this already. Like it's nobody can escape it except for Guy Pearce in Prometheus. And Prince Philip. Yes.

He looks like he might have – I feel like he signed – He looks like the cryptkeeper. I think what happened is he was like for power and like to become a prince he he signed it like a deal with the devil where the devil's like you will live forever but he won't have youth so he's probably like 200 at this point so he's just gonna be like oh dude you show me those pictures of him in the car he's fucking terrifying looks like a walking dead zombie wasn't prince of prince of philip wasn't the prince of philip wasn't prince philip an asshole i'm pretty sure isn't just all the royal family a bunch of assholes they're all inbred aren't they yeah they have that uh what is it called the inbred there's like something with the jaw there's something with like the chin and jaw specifically they're not too uh blessed with

looks probably due to the inbreeding i love when they killed diane what they killed diane no well jesus christ that's a that's a dramatic event in someone's life they definitely had her killed look into it question mark exclamation point they definitely had her killed they killed princess diane question mark yeah exclamation point, at 3 a.m. I called Princess Diane at 3 a.m. And she said that the queen had her executed. Who's that dude that did all the like... Jay Station.

Jay Station, yeah. I contacted Princess Diane on a Barbie Ouija board. He had one where it's like he took the... On my new Mario Ouija board. He drank the gay potion with kermit the frog and kermit the frog like kissed him that's one of his he has a thing about like drinking the gay potion uh which if you guys see that don't drink that gay potion that will make you gay and he actually my favorite thing was when his girlfriend died and less than a day later he

uploaded a video where he was like calling my dead girlfriend at 3 a.m did she actually die that's or was that just like a thing he said it was staged and then she's and then she's just like i'm not dead i didn't die he's crazy girl he is crazy man you look at that guy and uh oh okay here we go alexia morano the now former girlfriend of youtuber j station has spoken out publicly for the first time following the series of videos In which he claimed she had been killed by a drunk driver That's what I'm saying It's like he just like He just started saying this shit

And she's just like wait what the fuck He got arrested for this Good Has been arrested after confessing to faking his girlfriend's death to gain subscribers The arrest for assault and assault with a weapon What? What the hell? He assaulted?

Goddamn Dude I don't want to talk about this i just want to go fucking i want to go watch valkyrie okay i want to go watch saikuno and valkyrie and corpse play among us with with jimmy fallon the jimmy fallon while while while lip-syncing to the newest justin bieber song peaches and then and then also in the corner was a tiny camera of Addison Rae doing the most popular dances created by black entertainers that she is doing.

Half-assed. It's really awesome. Yeah. Jimmy Fallon, you keep it up, man. But if you ever want us on your show, pretend that we're not digging on you right now. Yeah, exactly. Just as a bit.

We'll come along. I'd go on Jimmy Fallon. We'll come give you a high five. If you wanted. I might forget all my lines i had a dream last night that i was playing jimmy fallon oh no sorry that you were playing i have that dream every night of course and it's actually become more of a nightmare recently but i had a dream that i was peter pan uh you look like peter pan you got your green

shorts you got your sorry i'm turquoise they're more blue but you got I don't know they're like in that cross between and then you got your green shirt you got your

boyish blonde hair these are from Turban Outfitters and you look as you look so light that you could just float up in the sky a little light in my loafers

you could say yeah I had a dream I was Peter Pan it's another recurring dream not about me being Peter, but that I was Peter Pan in a play. And the play had just begun. But you were not. You were Mowgli in the play.

I was Mowgli, yeah. And the play had just begun and I didn't know a single, I hadn't looked at the script once. And I remember I was on the side and there's this old woman in the play who was being a bitch to me. And she had the script and I was like, can I see the script she's like no no you should have read it first and she wouldn't let me see it and then she'd go out on stage and it'd be my cue and she'd be like look off stage like very angrily at me and I'd come out and be like oh like and I'd try to just play it off try to like like I would try to play along figure out what's going on but the problem is everyone has to go off of what i'm doing and the audience is watching and

it was terrifying and uh then at some point i was like i tried to i just broke like the fourth wall and i was like i didn't read the script i'm peter pan and then they canceled the play right there and then one of the girls that played someone came up and kissed me uh that's crazy dude and that was my dream man damn and the old lady was angry at me. It was a very stressful dream, though. Very stressful. Sounds like it. Sounds like you have a lot to work through.

I know. You should probably go to a therapist and say, Hey, I had a dream where I was Peter Pan, and I didn't know what to do on stage. That means you're gay. Okay. What? Yeah, you're gay. Yeah, that's actually a textbook definition of gay. What do you mean? No, I mean, I don't think you're gay yeah that's actually a textbook definition of gay

what do you know i mean i don't think you understand me i had a dream that i was i forgot my lines in a play but i was i was peter pan but yeah gay well i don't i mean i'm not sexually and you're gay you're gay you're gay he starts looking at you, having the fucking like, like a pocket watch going like left to right. You're gay, Peter Pan. Okay, I'm gonna leave. You're gay little Peter Pan, aren't you, Matt? I'm just gonna leave. Here's the, I guess, $200 for the session.

Snaps his fingers. He disappears. Like a poof of smoke. The door disappears. I'm stuck in a no windows no doors what is this fucking thing that just happened

I'm stuck in purgatory for all of eternity I never die you have to question the fact are you gay cause you're never giving anyone the test out that's the thing I can never see any kind of stimulation you won't even see any women anymore no women or men so it's only in my mind. And because I can't leave that room for all of eternity, I'm like, well, am I gay?

Because I'll never be able to try it out now to see. And that's what it's like moving to Hollywood. Yeah, it's actually a true story. They lock you in a room until you confess you're gay. And then you're allowed to enjoy the splendor of Los Angeles. Only if you're taking your daily estrogen. That is true. Which we got injected into us.

Well, I drink about half a bottle of soy sauce every day. So I'm good. What? What was that face? I'm pretty sure you can kill yourself by drinking soy sauce. That's why I said half a bottle. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Don't. Would half a bottle kill you, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't... Would half a bottle kill you? I don't know. It could. That's a lot of sodium, dude. Wait, let me see how much sodium it takes to... I don't know, dude. How much sodium kills a man?

There's no way half a bottle, because think about how much... Think about like a guy gorging on sushi. You know what I mean? He goes through a lot of soy sauce. That gets soaked up pretty fast that soy sauce into that rice and that fish right but you gotta think you're with the soy sauce thing you're you're only only that big bottle's only that big think about how salty that little

dash is though yeah but like we're talking like you we've been to soy like we've been to sushi places and we've gone through several bowls of soy sauce or i've gone through several bowls on my own like i've had to refill the soy sauce thing at least two or three times if i'm just like fucking but hammering down i don't think i'll die i might get a bad headache a woman actually did in uh 2011 by drinking half a bottle of soy sauce she commits suicide by drinking soy sauce but how much soy sauce uh half a bottle let soy sauce? She commits suicide by drinking soy sauce. But how much soy sauce? Half a bottle? Let me see.

It's an NPR article. Because you can die by ingesting too much salt in general. First, let's spoil this tale right away by telling you the 19-year-old man in Virginia who downed a quart of soy sauce on a dare survived. Jesus Christ. A quart? You know, our system, I don't know how much a quart is. I never learned all that shit. But let's see.

55-year-old woman diagnosed with depression, died after drinking a large quantity of Japanese soy sauce. Let me see. A salt dose ranging from 0.75 grams to 3 grams per kilogram of body weight can kill someone. A tablespoon of salt weight can kill someone. A tablespoon of salt weighs about 15 grams. Okay, so I can calculate exactly how much salt would kill me.

So let's say just one gram for every 15 grams. I am 145 to kg. 145 pounds to kg 145 pounds to kg so I am 60 66 kilograms so then 66 divided 1 kilogram for every 15 so 66 divided by 15 right? Please tell me I'm doing this right

I'm going to be very embarrassed if I'm doing this math wrong. 4.4 grams of sodium would kill me. Is that a lot? Wait, what? Put this in the fucking Super Mega Sucks at Math compilation. No, 4 grams of salt won't kill you.

Or sodium. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know where I got 15 from. 0.75 grams to 3 grams per kilogram of body weight. So basically I need to do, I would like 60 66 or more to kill me. You would need to be chugging 66 grams. And how much how many grams of sodium are in one bottle of

soy sauce? That's what we gotta figure out. How many grams of sodium in soy sauce? So I can figure out exactly how much soy sauce I would need to kill me. Dude, in just a bowl of soy sauce it's 879 milligrams bro damn okay so i would need to drink a lot of soy sauce yeah but that doesn't

sound what do you mean i mean i feel like i would 66 i feel like i would die much before a bottle of soy sauce that's not gonna kill you if that you. No, no, I know that wouldn't kill me. They wouldn't leave that out on restroom tables because kids would just. Restroom tables? Sorry, restaurant tables. Walk into the restroom in the little. No, but like, you know what I'm saying? Restaurant table.

They wouldn't leave that out for kids. Yeah, that's true. That's true. But I feel like I would die before 66 bottles of soy sauce. Why? I didn't say 66 bottles. Take one down, pass it around. 65 bottles of soy sauce.

So the answer is no, you will not die by. I mean, it'll be disgusting. You probably won't enjoy it. You will not die if you if you sip on half a bottle, a little bottle of soy sauce. OK, wait, but a little bottle of soy sauce okay wait but a lethal dose of sodium is 40 grams that's what Dr. Bernard says

okay and the woman that died that's still not even a bottle I would say the woman that died drank a liter of soy sauce containing 200 grams which is 5 times the lethal amount a liter so yeah see that I can see fucking you up 200 grams, which is five times the lethal amount. A liter. So, yeah. Ew.

See, that I can see fucking you up. That's gross, man. That's icky. That's icky. That's nasty. He was not happy, by the way, with our- Who? Michael.

No? Apparently, we didn't cut enough out from the podcast of him talking. He wanted more cut out, but too late. After he's back from the doctors, I'm sure we'll talk about it that man actually did it i do that man actually tried to say i re-watched the living with michael jackson documentary in 4k this time and he's so michael you've never had plastic surgery no never but no that's ignorant that's stupid that's made up by tabloids you haven't had a dim by tabloids. You haven't had a dimple put in your chin. You haven't had

on your nose. No, I've had one on my nose so I could hit a higher note. Was that really? Really, Michael? He said he's never had plastic surgery. And he's like, but Michael, you were a black boy and now you're a white man. And he's like, it's called adolescence. People change. No, is that what he said? Yeah, he said

it's like change, like just adolescence. Wasn't there a name for what Michael Jackson had, though? Vitiligo. Was it from? Vitiligo is like a skin pigmentation thing. And from what I understand is that he bleached his skin to make it match because, you know, he was black. Was it splotches of white? Yeah, and I think that with his dysmorphia and

shit i think he just bleached all of his skin uh to look white but also some people think with the plastic surgery it all started from when he had the burn really bad from the it's just so weird because visually when i picture michael jackson at least me because my timeline michael jackson i know he's not a white i can't help but see him as white. Oh. Well, also, he had his facial features reconstructed too to almost look more like white. He's a black man. I know.

He's a black king of pop. And here's the thing. I was watching the documentary and they had his kids. Popping those cherries. No, he actually didn't. At least with women, no. Yeah.

He has his kids in the documentary. They're young. He has like Paris and Blanket and Prince Michael. Those are... No way!

Prince Michael? Prince Michael II. I knew about Blanket. I didn't know... See, I like... Blanket and Paris. Prince Michael. That's a good one.

Let me show you... Is his first name Prince and middle name Michael? Or is his first name Prince Michael? It might just be Prince Michael. I a good one let me show you is his first name Prince and middle name Michael or is his first name Prince Michael it might just be Prince Michael

I think it just goes by Prince Jackson but let me how are his kids doing let me show you this kid okay in the documentary

he says these are his kids are those kids half black no not at all. In the documentary, the kid comes out with his blue eyes

and blonde hair. Well, who was the mother, right? Well, the mother was white, but Michael Jackson's genetics, black. So the kids would be... Well, Michael Jackson's defense on that was he says,

well, they called them colored people because they come in all colors from very light to very dark. It's like a blanket – okay, actually blanket I think could be a genetic child because blanket does look a little bit more. But, dude, do you think Prince listens to us? Yo, Prince, if you listen, please hit us up. After what you said about my late father? Like, I'm just looking at, like, that's the thing. Michael Jackson, kids, white. Is Blanket the one on the far right?

Mm-hmm. See, he looks a little more like his dad. Here's a Reddit thread. Ask Reddit, how and why are Michael Jackson's kids white? The top response is they're not his biological kids. I've been asking this for question for years they look nothing like the real michael jackson but they do look like white michael jackson oh here we go wait well here's here's someone said so many of these comments in this section

are either offensive or are our word jackson's first two children michael jackson jr 97 and paris jackson 98 were conceived between jack Jackson and his wife at the time. Debbie Rowe. Rowe is Caucasian with strong Caucasian genes. Both children have an olive complexion. Biracial children, not 50 50. Genes are complicated. I wouldn't say that.

Like, are we just TMZing it up this episode? I'm just I'm just like I'm not like no disrespect. I'm just very just intrigued I mean maybe maybe they really are his kids and I don't know I

I don't know I think Blanket changed his name Michael Jackson's daughter Paris responds to criticism for saying she considers herself black well at the end of the day I guess this is not my

not my thing to comment on, I guess. It's just like it's weird because it's a story where the blanks are never filled in. The blankets. Yeah. There's so much about Michael Jackson, the blanks will never be. I watched Leaving Neverland.

I finally watched it. Did he commit these horrible things? That definitely tipped the scale a lot further in my eyes. He's definitely odd. The thing that really sealed the deal for me with the Michael Jackson stuff was when the kid could accurately describe the birthmarks on his penis. That was what I was like, okay, that actually, that does it for me. I'm going to look up and see

how people defend that. Is there a... Dude, okay, well, Michael Jackson fans, like, there's diehard Michael Jackson fans that to this day are very defensive of Michael Jackson. And, for instance, Martin Bashir, the guy that made that documentary,

they'll tell him to kill himself every day and stuff on YouTube videos he regardless of if Michael Jackson did this or that the man's creepy as fuck you cannot say the man's not creepy when you look at him

god damn he did make some good music though I will say that's what the shitty thing is Michael Jackson I think Michael Jackson is one of the greatest musicians ever he's an incredible dancer an incredible composer of music incredible singer

I think he made some timeless hits that you know we'll still be listening to in the year 3000, when not much has changed, but we do live underwater. Ad break. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality,

it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly,

which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a big Mac McWrap McFlurry and a McDouble? Keep it real. I need a happy man. I'm a crispy and tan McNuggets.

Tasty golden fries. A cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pound of a cheese and flatfish. Oh, please. Make good as a McMuff, and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, HodgePot, hotcakes, vanilla, corn shake, and a hot bar on Sunday.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Alright, we're back. Ryan, have you found any defense for the Michael Jackson penis situation? Yeah. The kid was psychic. Later district attorney Thomas Sneeden whatever the fuck claimed that Jordan's

description was a match on May 25th 2005 about a week before the end of Michael Jackson's four month long trial Sneeden attempted to introduce Jordan Chandler's

description and drawing as well as the photographs of Jackson's genitalia so a courtroom got to see it imagine being on that jury dude you get to see Michael Jackson's penis in the motion he claimed courtroom got to see it. Imagine being on that jury, dude. You get to see Michael Jackson's penis.

In the motion, he claimed, the photographs reveal a mark on the right side of the defendant's penis at about the same relative location as the dark blemish located by Jordan Chandler on his drawing of defendant's erect penis. I believe the discoloration Chandler identified in his drawing was not something he could have or would have guessed

about or could have seen accidentally. I believe Chandler's graphic representation of the discolored area on defendant's penis is substantially corroborated by the photographs taken by santa barbara sheriff's detectives at a later time knowledge is relevant because it could only have been acquired in the course of a close and intimate relationship with defendant uh this one mark is all sneed's motion mentions the one mark okay so nothing about any other features uh in either jordan's description or on the photos it is uh because out of the whole description he could find only one mark as matching so that's why they use that one particular oh

there's polaroids it's always a whole lot more complicated yeah there's always there's polaroids of michael jackson's dick from 1993 out there somewhere under police lock and key that's uh and they uh here here's something here michael jackson facts the autopsy report revealed that michael jackson had a 12 inch long black penis an enigma of a man 100 yes totally false god but it. He made good music. Shit was good. Yeah. You like Michael Jackson's music? I mean, it's not a mainstay in my, like... I could personally live without it.

Like, if I never heard him. Like, I don't know. I don't even think I have one song of his in my Spotify. I don't have any in my Spotify, but... See? You know? I do love it. You can live without it. I love the music still. And put it in your likes. So it'll pop up every now and then. I'm not gonna put every song I like

in my likes. I only put the specific... I only put the ones that I find, like, that are new. These are old songs. I find every song that I like, I like and that's my general library. And then I make playlists to differentiate like, I like, and that's my general library. And then I make playlists to differentiate, like, what I find and stuff. Nice. My Spotify's still fucked up from my dad.

When I was in high school, my dad would get on the computer and use my Spotify account to listen to, like, Dale music. And all my likes still to this day are just, like, things that my dad liked, like country, like, Dixie Chick stuff. that my dad liked, like country, like Dixie chick stuff. I'm sure it's a, you know, it brings you back to a time of sitting on the carpet, watching your dad watch porn. Yeah. On the tube television. Yeah.

Putting his porn tapes. The porn tapes were cool. He made me polish those off a lot. He'd say, son, make sure these are all nice and shiny. Because, you know. One day I'm going to make a film as good as this one. He did. He's a star son.

Yeah. She's not too happy about the existence of that tape. I just want to see the fucking kid rock. Sex tape. Kid rocking. Were they high five? Mm hmm. What's better than being the king? Nothing.

No, nothing's better than being the king, dude. I saw Jackson out there punching the punching bag just now. Yeah, how's he doing? He looks like this. That's what he looks like. Oh, was he just punching it for fun?

The little tiny one, yeah. I can see those Tucker brothers outside the window working out right now. You know, Ryan, they may be making gains physically, but right now we're making gains mentally men by doing this podcast are we every second we record this podcast the stronger our brains become yeah because because we're learning how to how to conversate we're and we're we're we're we're spitting out misinformation left and right and discovering oh wait actually no that was incorrect so we're learning yeah and also just now i can say actually that birthmark thing is actually only off of one description from the drawing that he could find partially true right

partially it was a snopes article it would say but it's not it's not a smoking gun by any means right it's a 12 inch black gun still no proof to corroborate that one do you think he had a big penis i don't know people surprise me yeah. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes he would net like, Justin, Justin's got the biggest cock, the fattest cock. Oh, yeah. That thing is like a fucking summer sausage. Exactly. Times two. No balls, though, which is weird.

I think it's because the cock absorbed them. They're inside the cock. Yeah. Like he has that thing where the balls don't hang outside the body. They're inside the penis and they freely float around within the shaft. Okay. And remember the time he told us one of them got stuck in the head

and we had to help him squeeze it back down to the base of the shaft. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Well, we want to say thank you to everyone that showed up for our first Super Mega Mart merch launch. Yeah, it went

really well for us. You guys are fucking awesome. Hopefully stuff should be handled a lot better this time. Yeah, actually, let's talk about that without throwing anyone under the bus. Besides the people who are responsible.

Basically, some... We know that for the Black Friday sale so a lot of people's merch took a long time to get there and uh we apologize and we hate that that reflects poorly on us um i'm not throwing anyone under the bus but a certain company got a little overwhelmed with some merch company were with got overwhelmed with uh a bigger The merch company got overwhelmed with a bigger YouTuber's merch. And kind of we

you know. Which we can't blame them for since they literally probably make over a hundred times what we pull in from this client. But I mean it's just business. But we apologize that stuff was delayed and we have talked to them and they've assured us how things are going to go differently

moving forward and we just want to make sure that we can maintain that trust between the people buying our stuff and us because I never want people to buy our merch and be like it took so long and it sucks

because that stuff is out of our hands but we have taken the, uh, you saw me, man. And that email thread, I was getting a little fiery. I was getting a little spicy up in there. Yeah. You were, you were, you were sending photos of your angry face whenever they responded. Shaking my fist at the camera. And then, and then whenever they would send something to try to fix it, you just responded lamal which you know hit hit the conversational points of 100 proving your point of anger yeah but

didn't really um but what's good well lamal said um what i meant by that was was let merch again ordered which is a message to the fans. I'm not sure that's how they took it in the email. Right, right. But yeah, we've straightened this out. And for the 90 orders of the XL Lavender Future Mega Hoodie, which we just recently found out were delayed, you should all have been personally emailed and refunded and you will still be receiving the sweatshirt

when it's ready but thank you so much for everyone that supported us with Super Mega Mart we've been working with our friend Leighton, Leighton Stollard he's a recent friend of ours who is a fantastic graphic designer and

really really worked so hard with us on this launch with the whole Super Mega Mart thing. He took all the pictures. He designed a lot of the merch. He came up with the general idea of the Super Mega Mart. Yeah, he was the one that came up with the idea. And we were like, that's genius. And then, you know, we might have merch.

Honestly, you know what? Fuck it. We have merch coming very soon. We have another drop coming around very soon. We're just going to hype it up a little bit. We should just hype it. Just hype it up. It's a 420 sale.

This is from everyone that I've shown this merch to so far. I showed my cousin last night. Everyone says, like, fuck, this might be the best shit you've ever made. I'm really late. I can't wait to see it. We sat down with Leighton and we were like, do we get the shirts in? I mean, did we get the. I got the socks and we got the grinders.

OK. And we got one of the shirts ends in my car. A sample. But we sat down with Leighton and we were just like, all right, let's do this, this, this. Uh, and he sat down at the drawing board and some good shit on the way.

So if you're, if you're a four 20 fiend, you're going to like what's coming on four 20. Exactly. You can steal mommy's credit card ahead of time because, uh, you're going to like what you, and there's cheaper stuff too.

It's not like it's going to be all super expensive stuff. It's, it's good. It's good. There's some, some good shit. I'm also brainstem. Wow wow this isn't official yet but i am brainstorming with layton for all you people who are like me and like dressing down uh i'm trying to work on the the ryan mcgee collection to see i'm not i don't want to spoil anything else about it sounds

but pretty dope but man if uh if you want to be comfortable like ryan let's just say hopefully there's some merch coming if you want to be uh i was thinking about this yesterday it's like people like to dress like their idols you know but hopefully it's cool we have we have a a lot of cool you guys have been wanting more merch forever so we decided one of the big things about 2021 was wanting to prioritize actually uh because we have a lot of fun designing it you know uh you know not to be holier than thou but uh you know we always uh are hands-on with designing it and we are very picky about what designs we put out there because we like the we want to make sure like that we like the stuff we're putting out and we always want to be in the creation process and modeling

it and you know all that stuff so uh we ain't just having a design team do it and then collecting a check we we we really do care and it really helps support uh your boys so thank you so much for everyone that ordered uh you should be getting that stuff uh real fast because i know that there was uh some quantity already made like 200 something of each item so those will get shipped out first and then the rest were pre-orders and everyone that ordered like the limited edition

trucker tee the tie dye one or the limited edition sweatshirt thank you you guys are sweet you guys are so sweet I like the sweatshirt sweatshirt's my favorite thing from the drop my sister I gotta tell them to save one for my sister fuck oh shit i gotta save some for people too i'll be like oops my brother-in-law wants something shit if they ran out because it was limited i'll be like all right someone's got to give it up for sam i'm sorry

and in exchange i'll give you a $19 Fortnite card who wants it? and yes I'm giving it away Matt season 2 of Sea of Thieves starts April 15th are you excited? you've been playing a lot of Sea of Thieves? a lot of Sea of Thieves?

I've been playing hours each day I always say Sea of Thieves by accident but Sea of Thieves. Playing hours each day. I always say Thieves by accident. But Thieves. Okay. I did, um, I got off earlier yesterday because a nice pirate called me the N-word. So, like, in that session I was like, okay. Typical pirates.

I was just kind of like, there's jackasses on this server. And usually when there's douchebags on the server, all they do is chase you for hours. And I'm a solo sloop they're they're a three-man brig that is probably just gonna destroy so the difference between a sloop and a brig matthew my sloop so i have to do all the steering the hoisting of the sails and the like the anchor like in the fixing of the, patching the holes from cannon fire. They have three people. I only have one cannon on each side of my boat. They have two cannons on each side of their boat. So if I get on their broadside, I'm fucked. And they can launch someone over

to fuck with me and anchor my sloop. I like, you know all the boating terminology because you played the games. You know all like starboard and... Dude, in the game, I'll just be like, yep, there's a uh there's a brig uh south by southwest like like like the festival the festival or northeast you know i'll call out directions sometimes i'll be i'll be lazy i'll be like yeah there's this

there's a brig to our right there's a boat yeah there's a boat on the right i i want to play with you man do you play by yourself do you play with i play by myself and then i play with you, man. Do you play by yourself? Do you play with Justin and Kelly? I play by myself, and then I play with Kelly, and then sometimes some of Kelly's friends or Justin or Frank will join. But Kelly's really – well, Kelly and – yeah. So if we have a crew that, like, knows what we're doing, we'll usually get, like, a galleon. And the last time we had a full crew, I i think of people who knew what they were doing was like me kelly um joe and twigs joe joe joe mama that's not it's not a joe mama joke oh okay sorry you got fk twigs

to play with you yeah that. That's crazy, dude. Sick, though, right? Yeah, it's awesome. You never believe it. I know. I have to shit. I have to shit really bad, too. Maybe we could do some more ads while we go empty our colons.

Oh, my God, yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Right now. Look at Jackson lifting those weights out there. All right, enjoy these ads. This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel.

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Travel moves us. Oh, wow. Those other ads were also ads. Yeah, they were ads. And how was your... We took actually a big break. Every time I shit, it feels wonderful.

It's just like, oh. I had a prostate orgasm while shitting, so. A weight, it's like weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. And it's quite physical. It literally has. More like lifted out of your colon. Do you think every time you shit, it's at least like a pound of shit? Yeah.

About a pound of shit. When I think of a pound, for some reason, what I always go to is the one pound bag of pretzels at the store because i'm always like oh that's one pound yeah if i put that on a scale and then on the other side of the scale i drop trow and took a shit i imagine the shit would outweigh the bag of pretzels i wonder how many pounds we just shit out of our bodies we could check man we have a we have a scale yeah we'd have to weigh ourselves before. And after, right? And then after, yeah. Well, we'll do it next time. We'll start keeping like a log

in the office. Alright. And you can't shit without doing that. I got an update, actually. I got a victory royale in the new season of Fortnite. My man! That's it. Duos or singles? Duos. Nice, man. I don't like playing solos

I feel like I get a lot more tilted if it's in solos cause it's like I drop in a game and then I spend like 15 minutes running around not finding anybody getting a bunch of decent shit and then being clowned on by some dude who just like

builds and edits like it's a championship I'm sorry man then when i play duos or i play with people who are kind of just starting almost it's it's it's great because i'm in like the low level lobbies it feels like lower level lobbies okay they put you with the newbies my first game back i killed five people off the drop just just because it was a low-level lobby and i was like oh like none of them were building or anything like they they were just like like they would ramp up and stuff but it puts you with like

the better you are like it puts you with better players right i i believe it still has skill-based matchmaking which means that there's this underlying kind of rank the ranked system going on where you'll still run into bad players you'll still run into god players um if you're an average player but if you like i feel like if you're not building that much and you don't do that well then it's going to put you in a lobby with people who also don't build that much or if or if it takes notice that you build a good bit which i do must have some crazy algorithm it's gonna put me in a lobby some algorithm to deal with that and i don't know how it judges skill but there's there's the whole debate in gaming where it's like skill-based matchmaking can ruin the fun of a game

but then the other argument is it's only ruining it for the people who would be ruining it for other people like the people that are good just donking on people and stuff I get that so it's like I get both sides of it but I like skill based matchmaking because then it puts you with people of your similar skill set yeah because if I just start I don't want to be playing

against fucking you know pros for me when it's a battle royale when it's fortnight i would much rather have every match i wish there was no skill-based matchmaking there was only skill-based skill-based matchmaking in arena which is more of the ranked uh game so like in public matches i really do wish it was all random therefore it felt i like the feel of that like you'll have like people who are just starting and then you'll have really good people who sometimes die at the most inconvenient ways i retract what i said i actually

agree with you on that it's like that changed my opinion just like that vibe of 100 people of strangers of all different skill sets and who comes out on top because they added a whole bunch of like environmental shit to where it's like a high school player can like one fuck up they can go down like if if they're standing still for a second and like a new player just is testing out the sniper rifle for the first time done you know so it's like or they can be killed by velociraptors that are now in the game i just love that they add and i what i like is the environmental aspect of like you can be killed by non-players too. They just added a lot. They added Velociraptor. I love they had like traps like landmines and shit. They added boars. Boars?

Come up with this shit. Boars and chickens you can use to like glide and fly with. You can kill the boars and eat their meat. And you have the stonk skin. I've played probably about five games this season.

You have the stonk skin? I do not. Jackson has the stonk skin. Does he? Yeah, he plays as it. I have all the fish stick skins. I walk in the middle of the night to get some water in the living room, and Jackson's pretty much naked on the couch, and it's just Travis Scott with two huge Hulk hands just like running on like a Bruno Mars dance plane.

Dude, all of the emotes in that game look the best when they're on fish sticks. I'm just saying. There's something about it, yeah. Like I used to play as pirate fish sticks, but there's something about the classic fish sticks with that stupid fucking hat. And like he's just kind of like peasant wear. Yeah, he looks great when he does the dances like it's just like no matter what

Travis Scott looks good too when he dances Travis Scott it fits one of my friends has the uh the new Bruno Mars emote that's what Jackson has

and that song that song's stuck in my head because of it cause like I'll be in my room and I'll just hear in the like in distance keep the door

open Bruno Mars epic man he got arrested for cocaine once in my room and I was here in the like in distance keep the door open Bruno Mars epic man he got arrested for cocaine once and I remember when I was in high school

I was like what was he doing who cares unless he was endangering people like if he was driving on cocaine well I thought

he was a bad person because that happened when I was in high school because I thought that doing cocaine instantly made you like a sinner same you know

like drugs it's like fuck it's like, he's a bad guy. My mom smoked, so I couldn't tie cigarettes to bad people. Oh, my mom did a lot of cocaine, so, you know. Yeah. Shows. Especially while she was pregnant. Guess what?

California's reopening. June 15th. June 15th. All the COVID stuff. The day after Donald Trump's birthday. Oh my God. Everything opens the day after Donald Trump's birthday. Yep. And Arbor Day. June 15th. All the COVID stuff. The day after Donald Trump's birthday. Oh my God. Everything opens the day after Donald Trump's birthday. Yep. And Arbor Day. And Flag Day. Flag Day. Sorry. That's awesome, dude. I know. What a great

day after that. I will be here. Dude, California opens the day after your birthday. It's kind of perfect. I know. It's like a little birthday present. It's like, hey, I know we ruined last birthday.'m being vaccinated what did i even did we do something last year yeah we hang out we did it wasn't the steak thing that was two years ago was the steak we did something for your birthday i thought this year i just no no didn't you you i think i just spent it alone

something happened where like you you had to go to the hospital. Did I? Because of your colon. Remember? That's right. I spent, I remember because your mom texted me while I was there. And I'm like,

yep, just spending, just spending the day in the emergency room. That's right. Because I remember we wanted to do something for your birthday, but you had to go to the ER. Wait, was this when COVID was still like going on wait i don't i thought that

then that was that was two years ago and then the steak was three years ago no way steak was not three years ago that was two years ago but i was i did go on my birthday but i just don't remember because that would have been at a time where like i was anxious i would be anxious to go out i feel like i would have remembered a lot of that anxiety of like going to the doctor's office with a mask or like going to an emergency room with a mask. I remember you went to the ER on Thanksgiving 2019. Okay. 2020 on your birthday. I don't know what happened.

But the thing we're thinking about, were you going to the ER? That was Thanksgiving 2019. Oh, where I'm spending Thanksgiving. It was some holiday. It was Thanksgiving. That's right. because i remember my mom was there too with me so that's why that makes sense okay but then what what what did i do on my birthday this year i don't think you did anything i think i just spent it it's it's and i'm not saying that as like i think i just spent it alone i'm i'm okay with being alone i'm fine being alone i like being alone

i recharge when i'm alone there's a thread on reddit i saw where it's like it's like explain like introverts explain how like social interact like the reach like how it is being introverted it's just like it's just for for some people it different. Some people just like being alone in general. And like, I do like being social, but I do have like a social meter that I feel fills up. And then there's, I don't know when it'll end. Sometimes it lasts longer. Sometimes it's very short just kind of like laying there thinking and I'm like just recharging and I can't like, I can't really make plans back to back or else I'm like, oh, that's too much. That's too much for me. I have to like switch up for each like social interaction. Yeah. You just need a, it's like a little battery pack and sometimes it's just, you know, it's

full. Sometimes it's empty. It's like, oh man, it's already empty. Fuck. I got to go back and charge. Sometimes I just don't want to care about anything. I just want to go home and not care about things. That's totally okay to do.

I mean, when my cousin died and I wanted you there at the funeral because you were going to give the eulogy. And when you chose that day specifically, you said, I don't want to care about anything today. That was kind of upsetting, but I do understand i do understand well i mean i didn't know him well you did yeah you just kind of pretend like you didn't after he died well i don't remember that my he must not have left the big impression we the three of us literally hung out i would say between 20 and 30 times he really liked you and you really liked him remember you guys talked about like mumford and sons weak genes shouldn't have died it's probably the most god awful thing you can say well he was hit by a car so it wasn't the genes but

his genetics made him more prone to be hit by a car. We have, actually, we have something to announce. You don't have a cousin that was hit by a car. Yeah, I was just goofing, you guys. Idiots. Was Matt being serious? Yeah. Just so people don't think that we're fucking sociopaths joking about. No, that's a plane.

Felt like an earthquake for a second. You felt that too, too right i didn't feel anything i heard it though there i there was an earthquake uh two nights ago i was asleep i woke up just coincidentally i woke up like five minutes before it and i was laying in bed trying to fall back asleep so i wake up 30 times a night and i'm laying in bed and then uh it's actually kind of ironic because when my air conditioning turns on in the house, it kind of rumbles everything. And I felt that and I was like, was that?

Oh, no, that wasn't earthquake. That was the AC. And then like five minutes later, an actual earthquake hit. So I thought about it right before. And then everything does the little. I love the sound of an earthquake. Maybe you're a wizard. Maybe I think I actually caused that 4.0 earthquake.

Have you? Well, I don't know the specific line. Have you? I don't know the specific line. Have you? I can make things happen to people. Harry Potter? Yeah. It's what Tom Riddle says. Oops.

Little Tom Riddle. Dude. Little Tom Riddle making the spittle. He's making spittle. And he's starting to dribble. When he's on the court. And he's starting to dribble. When he's on the court. And he starts to dribble. And he gets some chips and he starts to nibble.

That's all that Voldemort needed was to play some. And he gets a pin and he starts to scribble. We playing basketball. Would you re-watch Like Mike with me? Yeah, of course. If we have a movie night we can watch Like Mike. Actually, you know what? I haven't seen that movie in years and I used to watch it all the fucking time i'd like to watch it with

you sure i'll also uh in the same vein um i was gonna text you this but i forgot i'd like to legitimately sit down soon and uh watch the green mile if you want to watch it with me okay have you never seen it no i've seen it it's just it's been a while because i thought about because i was watching talladega nights and you know john coffee is in that movie playing John Coffey. So, yeah. But the earthquake was, it was, I'm always so, the second I start feeling one, I get excited. I'm like, oh my God, earthquake. Oh, it's like, obviously, because it's not like a massive one that's destroying or hurting people.

But it's like just feeling everything kind of rock. It's like, ooh. Because you think it's like literally the fucking continent. Yeah. Moving. It's the plates. I know know it's earth doing a little stretch the tectonic plates going when's the big one gonna happen every time i think there's an earthquake i go on twitter i search earthquake and i go to newest and i'll see 50 000 just earthquake in la with that i'm like okay yeah it was I think the big one's gonna happen

while we're in LA every few million years God throws a stone at earth and believe me he's winding up you know what it's a shitty memorization of Ultron I'm watching Age of Ultron right now

I'm in the middle of it I'm actually doing a I'm ranking all the Marvel movies from like like as I'm watching them I'm like okay this one's better than this one better than this one so I'm like ranking them so it's fun how many of you watched let's uh one two three four five six seven eight nine I was gonna guess eight see i am psychic yeah i was wrong but i was close and age of ultron will be 10 oh okay but there are still 20 some odd movies well i'm not watching the i skipped the incredible hulk with uh ed norton because you gotta watch them all man

i don't if that's what you're doing you gotta watch them all I don't have to watch oh well I'm past it now well it doesn't matter but fuck I know whatever I know it's in the same universe it's so loose it's so loosely in the same universe though what I thought was weird about the Ed Norton one was they shot that after he shot

American History X he still had the Nazi yeah I thought I thought that that was temporary for the movie he actually got the swastika on his chest so you could see it in the movie still. And on him as the Hulk. As the Hulk.

He has the big swastika right on his chest when he rips his shirt off. They should have digitally removed it. They could have just put some makeup over it. I don't know why.

But instead of digitally removing it, they ended up digitally adding it onto the Hulk model. Yeah, yeah. So, weird choice, but hey.

Definitely weird choice. I understand why you wanted to skip that one. Bad CGI in movies, dude. Did you ever see the famous one with the the rock there's the rock but there's the the newer famous one is justice league's uh superman when the mustache and they took it out i have i remember seeing justice league in theaters and being awful and now people are like the schneider cut. It's a better movie. I'm like, I don't want to sit through fucking four hours of Schneider.

If I didn't sit through the original because I didn't want to, I'm not going to sit through four hours. Oh, wait. Godzilla versus King Kong is out. I got to watch. Oh, I got to watch that, too. It's in theaters. I hope King Kong wins. It's in theaters.

Yeah. Hey, hold on one second. Never mind. I won't do that to you. I had it spoiled for me. Oh, don't tell second. Never mind. I won't do that to you. I had it spoiled for me on TikTok. Don't tell me. Of all fucking places. Don't tell me.

I'm so close to deleting TikTok. I used to have fun watching TikTok and now whenever I watch it, I just end up getting upset because now I get I don't know why it's feeding me this bullshit. it's not feeding me the the stuff that i usually like just giving you guys who are saying james charles snapchatting me and then spoilers for king kong and godzilla yeah for some reason fuck i'm going

back to that rock thing you were talking about like god's winding up there could be uh ultron said that believe me he's winding did i say god said that huh did i say god said that believe me he's winding up did I say God said that? did I say God said that? you said God's winding up but I'm saying I didn't say it Ultron did what's weird is there could be a fucking massive comet heading straight towards us

and we can't see it yet but two years from now we could all be gone but it's going to become the biggest thing in the world as long as everyone goes at the same time, I think there's some sort of solace in that. If it hits,

like I'm fine with dying from a meteor as long as it's not like it hits far away enough and like the air around me becomes like 200 degrees and I burn to death. It's like,

it's not like an instant, like if it hits and it's boom, I'm gone. Sure. Have you seen the movie Seeking a Friend at the end of the,

I've seen the ending. For the end of the world? The Steve Carell one? Yeah, Steve Carell and Keira Knightley. I've seen the ending. I remember watching that when I was younger

and I was like, like fucked me up. I was like, this is so sad. It is really sad actually, the ending. Well, just the idea was haunting.

Knowing that like, Earth is done in two weeks yeah dude that would be oh my god that would be scarier than the actual asteroid hitting I think isn't that what

is that what melancholia is all about or something I don't know I watched Greenland Greenland? what the fuck is the Gerard Butler movie what? about the comet hitting earth

it's new is it new? yeah is it on Netflix? where's it on? I watched it on Amazon. It's Gerard Butler. I love Gerard Butler. I think it's by the people that made it. Gerard Butler's such just like a

he's such a strong authoritative screen presence. And I like the way he yells. His son and his wife. And he's trying to like get them to a secret base in Greenland to protect them from

the comet that's gonna hit I'm not gonna lie I think it's by the is it by the people that made London is Fallen 2012 oh let me see

yeah but it what's that director's name yeah no he made Angel is Fallen that's not Jerry Bruckheimer no it's who's the disaster movie guy Rick Roman Wah

what no who's the who's like the disaster movie guy who like makes those films? 2012. Yeah, I forgot his name. This guy made Angel Has Fallen, Shot Caller. Shot Caller was really good, actually.

I still have to see it. I like Shot Caller. But yeah, it was kind of a fun disaster movie. The effects were good. Let's see. Roland Emmerich. That's it. Roland Emmerich is the disaster movie. The effects were good. Let's see. Roland Emmerich. That's it. Roland Emmerich is the disaster movie. Day After Tomorrow, 2012.

I saw 2012 in theaters, and I remember my dad hated it. And I remember leaving the theater, I was really scared, because that was still at the time where it's like, is something going to happen? I know. And I remember the guys in front of me were like, best fucking movie I've ever seen. My dad was like, what a bunch of fucking idiots.

He was like really mad at them. But it's biblical. It literally is. It's like based on religion i had a fun time that movie was fun that's one of those movies you go see in theaters that's a modern day retelling of noah's ark how did your dad not like that literally oh my god it is like one it's it's it's that's the point i didn't even i never that's the good greenlands i'm so surprised your dad didn't like that i uh just due to the fact that it's like the world's ending and noah's epic no he was just scared man that's what it was he was scared he was just ruined because because woody harrelson was in it and you know oh is the hippie dude in the eyes like eating a pickle yeah dude

i didn't remember any of this until just now it's strange how like your brain is just well right before we end the podcast, I'll leave everyone on a nice note that definitely won't terrify you. I read about gamma ray bursts. And gamma ray bursts are the most powerful thing in the entire universe. The brightest, the craziest.

It's when two neuron stars collide and they emit a gamma ray burst that is so bright and so fast. It's stronger than anything in the universe. And they are firing out frequently every day throughout the universe. And if the Earth would have come in the path of one,

we wouldn't see it coming, first of all. It would just instantly hit. There'd be no way to predict it. It would just, boom, hit. It'd be the brightest light imaginable, just instantly like and then lethal dose of radiation instantly. And it would cook everything

but not instantly. So you'd have a couple minutes to die while the wind is destroying everything and lightning would be everywhere it said. Anyway, that can literally happen any second with no warning. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home home it can be really hard to maintain it's hard

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