supermegashow - EP 24 - Trick or Treat

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

Ryan and Matt come up with a way to keep all your halloween candy this year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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24. And it's spooky mega week. I needed to clear my throat. I was doing the little beep from 24. Yeah, guys, but it's uh it is it's Halloween week Halloween is Gonna be in between the next podcast. It's like it's coming up this this weekend. Is it on Monday? I don't know what Halloween is it's on a day. We're recording this far before Halloween though because Matt where are you going? I'm going back to South Carolina for a week you lucky bastard bastard. You get to go to the fucking South Carolina State Fair.

I know, but it's one of the reasons I planned my trip for these days, because I love going to the fair. Did you see my sad little boohoo tweet about it? I did. I shed a single tear for you. But you get to go with Ping, right? I do. Lucky. Going to a fair with like a

significant other. It's a fun experience. I've done it the last two years, so it's a fair with like a significant other. It's a fun experience. I've done it the last two years. So it's kind of become like a little tradition now. So that's why going back this year. I like visiting South Carolina in the fall. It's nice. But that's besides the point.

We got some big stuff to talk about today. Like? The Nintendo Switch. Yes. That's pretty fucking big. It's pretty big. It's not the NX. Why?

And the air conditioning unit in our recording room is broken right now, so it won't turn off. Or else it'll shut off for the whole building or something. So basically, if you hear any background noise, it's only going to be for this podcast. Just think of it as a creepy, spooky Halloween ambience. Ambience. whatever that word is ambience ambiance what's the difference between ambience and ambiance uh tomato tomato all right so yeah the nintendo switch i i have to say this is one of my favorite uh this is probably my favorite looking console since the uh gamecube really because the wii well not favorite looking but just favorite i don't know i just feel like it's it's it's not

going for that gimmicky kind of pattern that nintendo was taking okay let's that may be giving them a little hate maybe not gimmicky just they're not trying to revolutionize in a way that impedes gameplay you know i mean i don't think the wii u was was that gimmicky i think it was just a controller with a screen in the middle but i i like i don't know i think this is really cool because it's kind of taking it's almost like an addition to the wii u because you've got the the screen on the controller or if you choose to play that way for For those of you who don't know yet, I'm sure everyone knows by now, but it's, you know, Nintendo announced a new console with a little release video. It's really cool where it's like, you know, it's a screen, and then you, on the side it

has the controllers, like the buttons and the circle sticks and everything, and you can detach those and use them as like wireless controllers or you can clip the whole thing like into the console and then play it on the tv so i think it's a cool uh i think it's definitely really cool i was impressed when i saw it and it seems like they're bringing over like mario kart 8 and stuff like that but they're adding to the games too are they really yeah king boo is a playable character oh shit in the mario Kart stuff and then in the Splatoon gameplay that was shown in the trailer I believe like it showed like different headgear and stuff like that oh yes

I'm excited cause I already knew they were doing an HD or not HD but they're doing like a remaster uh I don't even know if it's a remaster but they're re-releasing Splatoon for the Switch along with um I think Mario Kart 8 and some other game

but I'm definitely getting the Switch. Oh I am too. I mean I have to get every Nintendo console when it comes out it's kind of like a thing for me. Even if it's bad. Dude think about it. It's a console we can have at home and then just like unclip it or whatever. Take it to the office or bring to the office and shit. Take it to the car.

It'd be great. But dude I am excited the most. Holy shit, I forgot. I didn't even think of that. Like when we're just driving somewhere, you could just bring your NX and play like fucking Skyrim and shit like that. I know, because in the trailer, what was that? Someone playing Skyrim? I'm pretty sure that was Skyrim.

Yeah, then they showed a bunch of basketball bros playing NBA 2K17. Yeah, my basketball bros. Oh, hey. Yeah, but. Want to shoot some hoops, dude? What? Want to shoot some hoops, dude? What? Want to shoot some hoops? I've been practicing all day.

I'm just thinking. Let's get a little basketball, a little dribble, a little. Just watch me dribble. Watch me. Nothing but net, baby. Four point. Can we talk about the cartridges? Two chain.

What? Cartridges. Okay, that I creamed myself over. Dude, me too. When I saw. Because, you know, there were rumors that the NX change what the cartridges okay that I creamed myself dude me too when I saw because because you know there were rumors that the NX would be using cartridges and then when they showed like you just like the DS charges like that sound oh dude sound and and the sound of the switch like they kept showing it in the in the commercial when you detach and reattach the little side controllers that little like that that satisfying click. I hope it's that satisfying in real life. It's like, it's the same satisfying, like, sound effect that a typewriter creates.

Yeah, or like a really nice mechanical keyboard. Oh, yes. It's just that nice little click. What do you think about the name? The Switch. Like it. I think it's, I think it's, I like it a lot, too. I have to say, my least favorite Console name was the Wii U

Just because it was like a branch off of something Like it made people Feel As if it was an add on to the Wii When it was completely different It was a completely different console I don't know why they even called it the Wii U Like yeah it could play Wii games but Wait do you think the

Oh yeah no I think the Switch will Definitely be backwards compatible with Wii U games Because it has like the same, it has basically the same layout, like the same kind of interface. Yeah. Of like the design of the controller could easily play any Wii U game. One thing they didn't show, or they might have, I just didn't notice in the trailer, it didn't look touchscreen. No, they didn't touch the screen once.

So I don't think it's touchscreen, which I'm honestly don't mind that I'm fine I'm with that screen honestly because when it comes to touchscreens it's always gonna get smudged it's all something's always gonna happen those finger I'm gonna lose the stylus or some shit that'll be nice not even to worry about losing and buying new styluses the but the console looks great I'm excited for the games that are going to be released on it They said I think they're going to Talk about a game lineup of course more in the future when is this supposed to release like 2017?

It's coming out March, and I know that I think that breath of the wild the new Zelda game is gonna be released I'm looking forward to that Pikmin 4. I'm pretty sure is gonna be for the switch really I think so because why would they Because why would they be designing a huge IP title that they're just going to release on a console? It has to be for the Switch. Of course it's got to be. It's probably going to be for both. It's already done, isn't it? Pikmin 4? Yeah, Miyamoto said it's just about done.

Yeah, it's going to be like the Xbox 360 and the Xbox One how they still released Xbox 360 games a little bit after the release of the Xbox One? Well, they'll probably... That's what they do with every console. They let it bleed out over time.

Right, and I wouldn't be surprised if they made, for games like Pikmin 4, if they made a Wii U version and a Switch version, or just make a Switch version, I don't know. As of the time that we're recording this podcast, they haven't announced pricing details or anything. I think it's probably going to get, what, $250? No's probably get what 250 no no i feel like it's gonna be uh like i think there might be two models one two ninety nine one three ninety nine yeah i just think because of the quote-unquote technology

they're displaying well nintendo's always they've always usually been the cheapest console though right yeah they've never gone up at least from what i can, they've always usually been the cheapest console, though, right? Yeah. They've never gone up, at least from what I can remember, they've never tried to battle wholeheartedly on price with Sony and them. And when I mean battle, I mean, like, kind of match it so they could get more. I think they just try to make, like, a price that seems, because I've never seen Nintendo as the, like, competition type. Like, they don't really care about competition. They just do their own thing because they're Nintendo.

And they try to make shit that they think is fun and genuine, I guess. And sometimes it flops. But, I don't know. You've got to give them credit for that aspect. And recently, they've been doing really well with listening to what fans want and giving the fans what they want. Yeah. It definitely screams a $299 price to me. I could see it being $300.

We'll see. We'll see. It might be $350. I'm going to pre-order it regardless, unless it's like $800, which I'll probably save up for a few months and still pre-order it. No, don't.

No. What? No. No? No. Don't pre-order. Pre-order bed. You supporting company before product even release. I'm No. Don't pre-order. Pre-order bad. You supporting company

before product even release. I'm gonna get it anyway though. I'm gonna get it regardless even if it's shitty. Even if it's proven to be shitty you're gonna get it? I'm a Nintendo dude. I gotta at least get it. I don't know. It's like a thing for me. I follow. I gotta waste my money. Follow, follow.

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It follows. I'll follow them off a clip, but this does not look like it's going to be a disappointment. No. So the release trailer, or I guess the teaser trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2 came out and it looks beautiful. It looks fucking gorgeous. It does. I've never played Red Dead Redemption, the first one, but I was watching the trailer with you this morning

and I was like, damn, that looks pretty good. And of course, you know, by the time we're talking about this stuff, it's old news, but it's a week old. Yeah, we were lucky enough for all this to drop the day our podcast comes out It dropped on a third dropped on Thursday last week, so we're talking about Thursday this week, so yeah, yeah, but but it's Red Dead Redemption 2 looks like a lot of fun

It looks really neat and if you guys want to see us played on the channel We might just have to do that as a little series. I wouldn't be opposed to look beautiful of course not I like Western shit I Like Eastern shit, too. Yeah, but that's pretty exciting. And I'll tell you one thing, Ryan. My neck is very sore today. Why? It's been going back and forth too much?

Yes, but not in the homosexual way you're thinking of. I went to a concert last night with Vernon Shaw of Game Grumps. So, what did you... Did you headbang? I did. I did a little head nodding. Sometimes a little headbanging, sometimes a little jumping. Coconut Kaniya? What's her name?

The fuck are you talking about? Karo Karo Bonito. Yeah. And their opener was this band I really, really love called Slime Girls. And they were just like fun all around. There was one part of the song where went quiet And they all like dropped dead on stage and then one guy brought out like a melodica and played it into the microphone It's just a really really fun group, and I met some of you guys at the show. I think about six of you

I met and you guys were all super sweet. Let's talk about anger management Okay, I feel like I need some help Okay. I feel like I need some help. And I feel like you need some help, too. Why do we need help with anger management? Because I went to the doctor the other day. Yeah? And he watches our Let's Plays. Really?

Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. He was watching our most recent Mario Maker episode. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And he said the anger is not healthy

and we need to play a little, we need to play quieter games. Oh dude, I know where this is going. I know exactly what the doctor recommended. Yeah? Minecraft. Exactly. Yes! So, just what the doctor ordered. Yeah, so we're gonna be playing

Minecraft from now on on the channel It's gonna be a strictly Minecraft based thing starting next week. Thank you. Dr. Stevens And I'm also glad for wasting all of y'all's time for that stupid bullshit story because we had no idea where the podcast was going So let's let's try to bring it back somewhere Where we where we bring it back to Matt Where are we bringing it back to, Matt? I got it, Ryan. Tell me your best Minecraft story. My best Minecraft story.

I'm not... I'm trying to think. Well, guys, it's almost Halloween. What's my... It wouldn't, you know... You guys have been seeing the stuff we've been putting out on the channel so far for our first year of Spooky Mega. We're going to do that, like, annually now.

So every year around Halloween, we're going to do a little Halloween week. We've seen a couple other channels that we're friends with do that kind of stuff. We thought it was a good idea. And we're going to keep doing it until we get tired of each other and our friendship ends. Probably, yes. Yeah. So we're gonna play creepy games. If you guys have

suggestions for next year, uh, put them in the comments and we probably won't ever check back at this video. So, um... Spoiler alert. We're not playing Slenderman. Ryan. Five Nights at Freddy's. Ah! Dude, why you gotta shut me down

like that? Or... Or... Do you gotta shut me down like that? Or. Do you know what I'm gonna say? I don't actually. Really? What are you gonna say? Undertale? Yeah.

You're gonna say Undertale? No. Oh, what were you gonna say? I was hoping you'd fill in the blank. Oh, cause you don't have anything? No, it's the rule of threes. I had to think of three things. You just didn't think of anything? I couldn't know it.

As you guys can tell, this is one of those podcasts we didn't plan ahead of time. I'm very fucking tired. Dude, I'm tired too. My sleep schedule and your sleep schedule has been all over the fucking place. I've been rushing to, the last few days, I've been like, I stayed at the office until like 6.20 the other night. In the morning, not in the evening. Yeah. And then like I got two hours of sleep.

Came back to work. And then I worked all day again and then I went to a concert last night and I went to bed again late and then I was going to wake up early to go to work this morning to get more done but I'm running on such little sleep I completely slept through my alarm

you knocked on my door and I was like what did I even say I was tired no because it was like 10-20 and I was like oh slept through my alarm I'm just going to get ready and I guess I'll just go to work with Ryan I'll just go to work with Ryan I knocked on the door and you were like what and I was like time to go to work and you were like I thought you were going early and I was like I don't remember what I say I was like yeah I just I ended up not doing that and then you were like just drive all uber there I was like all right yeah I was just I was not in the mood to get up.

You were just not ready? My heart was beating fast. And I had like, I don't know. Did I wake you up when I knocked on the door? Yeah, you woke me up. And I was like. Dude, you just did not sound like. You were just not in the mood for anything.

It was not. You were like, drive all Uber. All right. So I just like silently took the key. I thought you were mad at me. I was like. No. I thought you were like pissed. You you're like why didn't you go into work early that i well i mean when i was tired of waking up i was angry i mean i'm not angry mad but i was

angry when they first wake up i was just like he said he was going in early yeah so why is he knocking on my door oh yeah it doesn't but it doesn't affect the time you go to work I know, it doesn't affect the time I go to work But I thought I could use that As an excuse to sleep in Yeah, to sleep in Because I was going to be like Brent, here's this

Because I was going to be like Yeah, I woke up late and I didn't have any clothes to wear And I had to dry them Brent didn't show up today Dude, you can't tell because these are the excuses we still use with Brent. If Brent listens to this, do not go tweet Brent these excuses. They're going to tweet. Don't do it.

Stop. Oh, my God. What's another? I think that's the only excuse. Yeah, I threw some clothes in the dryer. No, but those are real excuses because the only time I've ever used that excuse was I actually had no clean clothes. Well, no, I think the thing was I had my clothes in the washer and then I fell asleep that night and I woke up and I never put them in the dryer. So I was like, fuck, I got to try them before I go to work.

I got to do laundry today too before I get on my airplane tonight. Fuck. But dude, like there's nothing more. And it's not you at all. It's not your fault. It's just like nothing makes me more angry than just lying in bed and hearing that knock at my door to go to work. I know, I know. I hate that fucking knock. It's like, when you knock on my door.

You've been doing it more recently too, because I'm the one that's now staying in bed a little more. It's pretty much, recently it's switched over to just me doing it. Because I wake up, I set my alarm and wake up and shower and shit. It's like, for two months straight, it was just me. Just every morning, like, time to go, and you're already ready. And I'm like, fuck, I and shower and shit like for two months straight it was just me just just every morning like time to go and you're already ready and i'm like fuck i gotta shower and everything yeah and now it's just i don't know it's just something about that it's it's in no like and it's not it's not the person that you get mad at it's just the general like but i don't want to hear that right now i just want to sleep like i've always i've always hated that getting in high

school and hearing my dad knock on my bedroom door to wake up or hearing my dad Downstairs like Matt get up. It's like ah No, my mom just used to come in my room. She's just open your eyes and hey yep Good morning. Good morning little son sunshine My mom used to sing no songs to wake me up when I was a kid my mom when I was like even in high school I'd be sleeping she and I don't know I think high school age is a little too old to be doing this But maybe I was that stubborn to get up, but she always made me breakfast because she's a wonderful mom I don't know why she did that she spoiled me like crazy She always made me breakfast in bed

Yep, but uh she would go and open up the blinds and then take off like. Her shirt. Ryan, wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. She'd open your blinds and take off what? Just like take off the thick covers I had. Ah, that's the worst. When someone takes the covers off of you. It's like, I'll get up.

Just don't take the covers off of me. It's like, I'll get up. Just don't be an asshole. That's just going to make me wake up and be pissed off. I know. I hated waking up for school. Dude, waking up sucks. Just waking up in general sucks. And the thing is, what's weird about me is there's no time for me that doesn't feel too early. If I wake up at two in the afternoon, it still feels like I'm waking up too early and I'm like, ah, I'm not ready to get up. Then this might change your mind about kids. Now imagine in the afternoon, it still feels like I'm waking up too early. And I'm like, ah, I'm not ready to get up. And this might change your mind about kids.

Now imagine in the future, you have to get up early for work. But you have to get up even earlier. Yeah, to make sure you're a kid. Because you have to get someone else ready that's stupid and moronic and can't take care of themselves. Can't even put their fucking pants on. Yeah. Like, what is that? Like, I think I've said this before.

A deer comes out of a vagina and they're walking within a day. A baby comes out. It takes them like a year to walk or two. No it takes them like until they're like Ten years old to get ready for school by themselves. Yeah, I didn't get my mom dress me until I was like 10 Wait what? I don't know maybe your mom dressed you when you were 10. I might I might I might have been younger I mean my mom picked out my clothes, but like did she did she like take off my clothes? But she she trying to remember like how old was I when she stopped dressing me? I might have been younger. I mean, my mom picked out my clothes, but, like, did she, like, take off her pants? My mom picked out my clothes, but she...

I'm trying to remember, like, how old was I when she stopped dressing me? I don't know. My mom will listen to this and text me the correct answer, I'm sure, and I'll say it in the next podcast, but I think I was... My mom always gives me reviews for the podcast. Really? Do you want to hear the review for the most recent one? Let's hear it. Of today's podcast?

My mom would just give me, like, a little, like, one sentence, like, I liked the podcast when you said this. I didn't like those mom would just give me, like, a little, like, one sentence. Like, I liked the podcast when you said this. I didn't like those jokes Ryan made about me, but, you know. Really? Okay, this is my mom. Okay. Podcast was funny, except for the gross part about Matt's cousin pooping.

Poop emoji in the backyard. Reviews by Cecile. And then three blush faces. Oh, I made her blush. Yeah, see? Look at that. Damn. There's a. And then three blush faces. Oh, I made her blush. Yeah, see? Look at that. Damn. There's a poop emoji and three blush faces. Oh, and there's three hearts afterwards.

Well, you don't have to share that. And then above, she's telling you how much you have in your checking account, Ryan. I don't have much. It's not a lot of money. It's not a lot of money at all. I'm probably in the same boat, though. I doubt it. I just bought two plane tickets.

I bought one to go visit South Carolina and then one for Christmas. And I'm about to buy a third one to go see my family in Seattle for Thanksgiving. My checking account makes me want to cry. Dude, my checking account also makes me want to cry. People get the idea that just because we do YouTube that we're rich. And just because we do YouTube gaming stuff.

We don't have a big audience really. We have a good audience. We have a large audience. But in terms of youtube we have a very small audience let me let me say this very niche audience right now we have never touched a single penny of youtube earnings yep it's still sitting in just a bank account because we need to figure out how to like tax it and separate it but even then it's not that much. No. I mean like, well, yeah, I mean it's not. You and I took out of our personal accounts to like buy whatever.

When we first started, yeah, all that shit was, it took us a while to break even, I think. Yeah. It took us a long time, months and months just to break even for the money we spent to start the channel. Because, I don't know, starting a channel and starting it right, I think takes you you gotta buy shit sometimes and we gotta hire we gotta we have a wonderful animator Kia

he's wonderful lover she is great so thank you Kia you're fucking great and thank you to everyone everyone who watches us and like you know we make fun of you guys all the time but you guys genuinely at the end of the day are are awesome. And, uh, yeah. Holy shit, what's that? What's what? Hold on. Is there something alive? Oh.

Something's in this box over here. Ryan, it's a segway. It's a segway! Holy shit! I thought there was a cockroach or something. I got scared. No! I know what path we can take, because I thought about it just now.

I had a path. Ryan, we'll drive down your path will drive down your path. Okay, I've done your path, and then once we're done. We'll track back and drive down mine Okay, let's go down The presidential debate the final fucking presidential debate yeah, it will we're not gonna get into specifics of course on What we've oh yeah yeah we are I mean come on bad hombres you're a puppet Ryan

you're a puppet Ryan you are a nasty woman train wreck honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be I thought it was gonna be much worse yeah I was hoping it would be much worse me too I was I was like shaking ahead of time cause I was so excited to see like what would happen

And I mean, you know, it was still great. Don't get me wrong It was still the debate a great spectacle watch but the debates were like a good trilogy Yeah, got your started off fun. Then the middle one is like where the big climactic shit happens Definitely the most climactic one and then the third one is a kind of like Resolution in a way, of course, there's no resolution when it comes to this presidential election. Yeah, there's not going to be. But like, I don't know, like regardless of his political views, I think Chris Wallace did a good job moderating. I think he was the best moderator out of the debate.

He seemed the most balanced. Yeah. I mean, of course, his bias, you know, his bias showed every now and then but it wasn't like obvious it wasn't all too obvious yeah I think I think he did a good job moderating it he laughed a few times because every now and then Trump would like interrupt him or just like see some off and then he'd start laughing and be like thank you sir because because I mean he's Trump's making it look like the guy's like do it like uh you're helping me out and the guy's like nah okay then then he goes in on the uh kind of like offensive with Trump then Trump's making it look like the guy's like, you're helping me out. And the guy's like, nah. Okay, then.

And then he goes in on the kind of like offensive with Trump. Then Trump's like, whoa. It's rigged. It's rigged. Oh, no. Yeah, but it was a fun debate. And I am excited. I mean, by the time this podcast drops, all this shit is not relevant anymore.

But by the time this podcast drops, maybe something new has come out in terms of American politics. But by the time this podcast drops, maybe something new has come out in terms of American politics. Because I'm sure in the last, because there's less than three weeks from when we're recording this until the election. And I guarantee that probably some big stuff is going to come out. Maybe it's already come out by the time this podcast drops. And if it has, well, I didn't know because I'm not a time traveler. There's one thing that I wanted to share. It's this Facebook interaction that I saw of someone quoting the debate and then like giving a Don Donald Trump answer.

And it sounds 100% accurate. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So it starts off. This person just quotes Trump and it's Hillary Clinton wants to rip perfectly healthy babies right out of the womb to one days from birth, everybody's babies.

And so like, that's the quote that donald trump is quoted on saying type of thing because he said he pretty much was like no you're allowed to rip the baby out a day or two the day before birth yeah and she's like that's not how it works donald and then this person got donald's shit down to a t someone responded and said and let me tell you folks, these are tremendous babies. You've never seen babies like this. And she wants to rip them right out. It's a disaster.

I would leave these babies in. I'd let them stay as long as they want. It'll be tremendous, folks. Let them stay 10, 11, 12 months. It'll be a win. It's like, if he said that, my night would have been made. Oh, I would have died. That would have been me oh i would have i would have died that would have been the best fuck the thing the thing about trump's rhetoric is he is he

he just says a bunch of just incomplete sentences that just add on he's like and they're great and let me tell you and i'll say and and they're great it's wonderful the tremendous yeah and i have and no one respects women more than me and And I respect women. Trump speaks more generally. Clinton usually kind of uses... Sounds more scripted. Yeah, it definitely sounds more scripted. She definitely rehearses ahead of time. And of course, they're both lying about certain things.

They're both telling the truth about certain things. So it's hard to even kind of understand where the fuck each of them lie sometimes. Yeah, I don't know if people ever figure that out. I mean lie, not like lie. I don't know. What lie am I talking about? It's hard to see where they lie. I'm not talking about truth lie. I'm talking about... In their bed at the end of the day. Yeah. Woo! But yeah, the

debate. Yeah, it was fun. So we want to get back on the segue and go down the path that... Well, I thought you saw a cockroach so it scared me. So I was gonna say, say ryan do you have any like are you scared of cockroaches like i am i am absolutely petrified when i see a cockroach i hate them i'm terrified of them and even as like a 20 year old man i i cannot i become like a little four-year-old girl when i see a cockroach it i'm not scared of. I'm scared of what they represent. Because that means if I see, like, one in the building, I'm like, oh, this is a dirty building now.

Yeah, but, dude, I just, well, we grew up in South Carolina. And they have palmetto bugs, which are, for those who don't know, huge, huge fucking cockroaches. Huge. Huge. These roaches they've got, they're huge. They're tremendous. They're seriously massive. It's're seriously massive It's a disaster And I'll tell you what, no one hates cockroaches more than me

No one, alright And these cockroaches are hated By everybody Nobody likes these roaches They're so big and I remember one time I was laying on the couch, I think I was watching South Park And one of these massive things Just like climbed across my chest time I was laying on the couch watching, I think I was watching South Park, and one of these massive things just like climbed across my chest.

And I was terrified. I was like frozen in fear, and I flicked it off my chest across the room, and I grabbed a dictionary and I destroyed it. You grabbed a dictionary to find the words to express the amount of fear that had been instilled in you. Oh, I just, I don't have the words. Oh. Gotta flip through this fucking dictionary! Where is it? Where is it? Do you remember in elementary

school, like, it'd be like, maybe reading time, like silent reading time, and you'd go grab a dictionary, and you'd like, look up dirty words to see the definitions? Do you remember that? Yeah, you get a you get a laugh. When I tell you what I used to do. Oh yeah. I did this for about a week.

I had a week period in elementary school. You didn't jerk off to the dictionary. No, no, no. I used to take the dictionary, and I used to just open it to a random page and just copy the dictionary for fun. What? Yeah. Like, just write it down?

Like, I'd look up the definition for shark, because I was interested in sharks, and I'd write the definition down. Ryan, you were, like, that's not bad. I just you were an intelligent autistic little boy. I'm not intelligent though But you're not denying the autism. I don't know I've never been tested. They never put me in a testing chamber a testing tube Alright, we're gonna pour these fluids on it'll tell us if he's autistic if they turn red. He he's autistic. If they turn blue, he's fine. He's normal. And good. It turns fucking purple. What does this mean? He's a hybrid. It means he's a bisexual autist.

Jesus Christ, what do we do? We've never seen one like this. And all of a sudden they turn around and the glass is broken. What the fuck? Oh no! Where'd he go? They'll also just... We're calling for a complete lockdown and evacuation of the city. Well. Anyway, we probably

just offended quite a few people with that one. But uh... That one's justified. I can see why people would get offended by that one. And if you're offended, that's alright. I understand. I'm not calling why people would get offended by that one. And if you're offended, that's all right. I understand. We understand. I'm not calling you out for being offended by that one.

Just made fun of autism. No, we didn't. We made fun of autism. We made fun of people's perception of autism. Yeah, but my dad, I think my dad's going to come visit in April, Ryan. Yeah. And you know he's going to kick your ass when he sees you. He couldn't kick your ass the first time he saw you.

No. But. But what? I'm telling you something, Ryan. I'm telling you what? I'll tell you what. When my dad sees you, it's going to be huge. Love at first sight.

It's tremendous. You know, like, no one will kick Ryan's ass like Dale. It's going to be a disaster for Ryan. It's going to be disastrous. It is the worst fight you will ever see. We should all record you guys fighting and make it like a pay-per-view event. Maybe we'll do a fight between you and my dad and make it like a paid live stream. So it's like a VIP event.

You got to buy tickets ahead of time to come see it. You sound like some corporate boss at Disney. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to take Dale and we're gonna do. We're gonna take, we're gonna take, we're gonna take Dale and we're gonna take the, Ryan. The, yep. And we're gonna make him fight. And the thing is, we're gonna make

people pay for it. And then we're gonna be rich. Ugh. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just looking at the TV screen right now. Just a monkey face. It's just a chimpanzee. A little monkey. Chris changed the looking at the TV screen right now. It's just a monkey face. It's just a chimpanzee. Little monkey. Chris changed the background, the desktop of the computer, and the recording room to just like a chimp.

Making like a little face. A cute little chimp. It was cute. I love chimps. I'd love to play with a little... I don't know. They look very dirty to me, though. What? It's just their skin is wrinkly and their hair is frizzy and frail. I don't know.

It bothers me, but they're cute. I'd love to kiss one. Ryan, you haven't been on Steam in 15 days. That's also pulled up. It's gotten to the point in the podcast where like, we don't have nothing to talk about, so I'm looking at the TV screen, commenting on the desktop. You haven't been on Steam in 15 days! It says it!

You have not been on Steam in 15 days! I haven't! And then Chili was on 3 hours ago. God. He called me gay. I don't like that, man. What is there to talk about, dude? I don't know. I don't fucking know. We can't end the podcast this early.

Let's talk about one more thing, Ryan. Okay. It's almost Halloween. Let's talk about trick-or-treating. You like trick-or-treating, don't you, as a kid? I did, yeah. How old were you when you stopped? I was too old when I stopped.

I was too. I think I was approaching six feet tall when I stopped. Are you fucking serious? So it's like, I remember the when I stopped. I was too. I was approaching six feet tall when I stopped So it's like I remember the year I stopped there were people that would like refuse to give me candy And I'm like come on. Yeah that happened one time. I was like and looking back at it Then I knew I was old but like looking at myself then I'm like I'm still a kid Give me candy, and I'm sure there's plenty of people listening to this that are like gonna go trick-or-treating this year. I think it was when I was like a freshman. Yeah, I think I was a freshman in high school. And then I stopped afterwards.

Fuck, I might have even been a sophomore. Oh no! I don't know, man. I love trick-or-treating too much. I wish I could still do it. Why is it socially unacceptable? Why is Halloween for kids? Why can't I go trick-or-treating? I fucking love candy and I love dressing up and I love, it's fun like walking around the neighborhood on Halloween.

Yeah, but you know there's always those assholes that just go in, like, the clothes. They, they get off of school, and they just go knock on a door and, like, candy. Yeah, but in my neighborhood, there was this group of kids that weren't even from my neighborhood. They lived, like, down the street, and they were the ones that would go and empty the entire bowl into their bag. Oh, yeah. and empty the entire bowl into their bag. They came to our door. They emptied the bowl and then took the bowl and like broke it. Or they didn't break it. They took the bowl because my mom had this like bowl of like it was like a novelty bowl with like a dude's head sticking out and when you put your hand near it he would like move his eyes and like scream and stuff. So they took it and they like

I think they took the batteries out and like threw it in the middle of our cul-de-sac or something. You know what I'm surprised hasn't been done? What? Someone takes a Halloween bowl, takes a big nice shit in it, and then puts candy on top of it so when kids go digging for candy... No, no, no. That's a security

measure to keep the kids that grab like a whole handful. I know! Because if you're a good kid and you'll see the Halloween candy, you'll take one or two pieces like you should. Yeah. You should never take a whole handful of Halloween candy because that's rude and you need to save it for everyone else Now see what crime can you be fucking like charged with if you get caught for that? Yeah? I don't know that's could you be like a

Could you be on a sex offenders like list for poop? If you if you got like a good lawyer if they got like a good lawyer to go after you yeah for sure If you got like a good lawyer, if they got like a good lawyer to go after you. Yeah, for sure. Because I mean, that's feces on a, that's your feces on a, okay, I don't want to get into this anymore. No, Ryan, say what you were going to say. No, it's fine. You were going to say that's your feces on a child's hand. Yeah.

That's it. Let's be honest. You give a kid a piece of shit when they're like two years old, they're going to play it. Not two kids that don't go trick or treating two years old. They're going to be like two years old they're gonna play it they don't go trick-or-treating two years old like 10 years old whatever yeah yeah if you give a 10 year old kid some of your shit give a mouse a piece of shit yeah you're

gonna end up in jail what is that crime though I'm sure there's some law students listening or something like if you can if you can tell us or some of you I'm sure I have lawyer dads lawyer lawyer I don't know say dad because dad lawyers go fucking ask your dad what that crime is. Like, if I shit in a Halloween candy bowl and then put, like, a layer of candy on top

and then, like, a kid reaches in and grabs a handful of doo-doo, what would I be charged But it's on your property. What if you're like, that's my toilet on my property. That's where I store my poop. They reach, I put a sticky note that said toilet and they still reached in. Could you win with that? Because, you know, like if I stick a sticky note on a bowl of candy and it says like caution doo-doo or something, they're still going to ignore it and reach in anyway.

Could I get off like legally? I warned them. I warned them there was poop in the bowl, officer. It was on my property and I said, I said, warning, there's doo-doo in this bowl, and they still reached in on my property, and they grabbed it willingly. How am I in trouble for that? Officer would be like, no, I understand, I completely understand. Now, given the full, you know, run of events, kids, would you like to say something to this man? Apologize, you took his feces.

Now return his feces and I'm gonna have to take you into the station. Put her back in the bowl. Then afterwards, the cop just reaches in the bowl, takes like a fucking tootsie roll and just... Have a good night, sir. Another day of duty. Doo-doo!

So stupid! That's so stupid! Oh's good right yeah yeah why are like our podcasts usually when i see podcasts they're like hour to two hours long ours are anywhere between 30 minutes to 45 i i would be i would like to in 2017 extend the length to like an hour i would like to over an hour because people have been requesting that. And I don't see why not. I mean, the thing is like we record them and usually they're about like 50 minutes. But we usually cut a lot out so they get cut short

whether we said something. We're like, we cannot keep that in. Or if there's awkward silence or a conversation just fell flat and awkward so we cut it out. But yeah, we're going to probably be making these longer in 2017. And also, on top of that, we're going to probably be making these longer in 2017. And also, on top of that, we do have two scheduled guests on the podcast coming up.

I still won't name them because I want to get a little hype going. But I will say this. Someone who you guys have been requesting back on the podcast will be returning to the podcast within the coming weeks. So you can get all excited about that. Yay! Yay, aesthetic. Yeah. Oh. There it is. I don't know who that could be. You guys want him back,

so he's coming back. But we're bringing a guest this time. We're bringing another guest. What is this, Matt? You just, we got a guest coming up? Yeah, aesthetic. So yeah, there's this guest. I don't know. You're drawing it out. No, I'm not even saying that. I'm saying you're drawing this out as long as you can.

It's almost like you're looking at the timer. I'm Donald Trumping it right now, dude. How much time is being recorded on this podcast? You're like, come on, I gotta buy you some time. We're gonna extend this podcast a little longer. Listen, guys, we're gonna have a guest. And no one likes having guests on more than me. And this guest, he's huge. He's have a guest. And no one likes having guests on more than me. And this guest,

he's huge. He's a tremendous guest. Alright? And the guest, he's going to be on the podcast. Mark my words. He will be on the podcast. Okay? It's going to be the best podcast you've ever listened to. And the podcast, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. We're going to bring this guest

back. We're going to bring him back. And it's going to be the best podcast. It's going to bring this guest back We're going to bring him back And it's going to be It's going to be the best podcast It's going to be wonderful You've never heard a podcast like this one before And no one loves podcasts more than me No one respects podcasts more than me And Ryan let's fucking end it here

Bye