supermegashow - EP 242 - Babysitting Twomad (ft. Twomad)

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Pure chaos. We're joined by one of the internet's most WACKY and GOOFY boys to talk about stuff. Get Honey for FREE at Join Honey dot com slash MEGACAST. Blueprint RARELY offers discounts this big but for the first 100 listeners of my show who go to BlueprintPrep.com and use promo code SUPERMEGA, you will receive 20% off. So if you’re like me and believe your online activity is your business, secure yourself by visiting ExpressVPN.com/SUPERMEGA TODAY! Use my exclusive link, E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash SUPERMEGA and you can get an extra three months FREE. That’s ExpressVPN.com/SUPERMEGA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit angie.com that's a-n-g-i.com too mad in the house yeah sorry too mad i was like at the end of a yacht this corian house yeah well we do be in house that is true i was watching orlando brown videos oh yeah dude he's down bad in. In 4K. Apparently he's better. He's like, I think

I don't know if it's actually him. Do you remember that? The guy from That's So Raven? The fucking, yeah, Bobby? Orlando Bloom? No, Orlando Brown. Isn't that the motherfucker you were going to call yesterday? Not Orlando Bloom, Orlando Brown. They're the same fucking people. Orlando Bloom is from Pirates of the

Caribbean and he played an elf in Lord of the Rings. I'm not versed in my fucking fucking people. Orlando Bloom is from Pirates of the Caribbean and he played an elf in Lord of the Rings. Orlando Brown is from That's So Raven. He's Eddie. He got a big meth addiction. There's just videos of him running around with no shoes on in Vegas and someone's like, get out of my fucking yard!

He's just running around tweaking out of his mind. I like the clip of him where they ask him about Raven. It's because she gave me a little... He's just like running around Tweaking out of his mind I like the clip of him where it's They ask him about Raven It's cause she gave me a little And then I gave her a little And it's just like what?

You think they did bro? What? You think they did? I don't know You think Corey ever got any pussy? Why doesn't Raven say anything about it? She saw Into the Future and she was like, he's going to be addicted to crack. He got a big cock.

Yeah. I'm hopping in, boys. Oh, yeah. I need to feel this in the present. I haven't seen the dad from Corey in the house in a while. The dad? Rondell Sheridan? Yeah.

I know his name because I have an autograph from him. I got it for Jackson as a gift. And it's like, to Carrie, thanks for the lift. Ron Dell. That's awesome, dude. What is he doing? Probably nothing, man. Well, he was the chef for the president.

That is true. He might still be. In the show. Doesn't he just eat McDonald's? Is that just me? Donald Trump? Oh, Joe Biden's probably drinking some good kush. Doesn't he just eat McDonald's? Is that just me? Donald Trump? Yeah, Donald Trump. Oh, Joe Biden's probably drinking some good kush.

Joe Biden's probably on like five Adderall every day. He's probably talking to Jeffrey Epstein through the fucking telepathy. Definitely, dude. Absolutely. He's getting them from the other side. They got this kind of soul-connected bond. I see in the future Obama's going to be re-elected for a third term. That's possible.

And then the riots will stop. He could. It would bring peace to America. Bring these nuts to America. Dude. All right, man. That's a zinger right there. That's it, man.

That's it. We got two mad in the house, though. We got Corey. Yeah, we got episode 242, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back. And... What? What? What shit?

All the fucking appended. Oh, it's all going to be. It's all going to be. It's all going to be. We're starting officially now. No, it's already started. We've been going. This is just us saying hey to everyone.

What the fuck? We're saying hello. Should I introduce myself? Talking to the audience. So, I'm too mad. What are you mad about? I'm mad about literally the universe. Yeah.

You know? My real name is Muday Sadiq. That's what you find if you Google me. I'm from Winnipeg, Manitoba. I used to play a lot of CSGO. And I used to make videos where I'd get this soundboard and I would spam it at people in jailbreak and I'd get banned by the admin.

And that's me. Did you do CSGO videos? I used to fucking make some banger CSGO videos, dude. Is that what you first got big for? Yeah, I fucked popped off on Reddit with that shit. With those CSGO vids, dude? I fucking suck at CSGO. Were you doing compilations and stuff, or were you doing a bit of trolling? He was doing a little bit of trolling. A of trolling he was doing a little bit of trolling

a little bit of trolling a little bit of trolling I mean I was fucking I was making videos where I was okay from my recollection it's like me with an op

and I shoot at somebody no no it's with rewind that bitch back no no we're keeping that in M4A1S I was fucking holding it I was in a hallway

or some shit it's like this is old ass CSGO by the way old ass not even like the fucking new ones CSGO it's like 1.6 like fucked up I shoot in a hallway or some shit. It's like this is old ass CSGO by the way old ass not even like the fucking new ones It was go. It's like 1.6. I fucked up I shoot around a dude and the bullets just completely miss him it like outlines the motherfucker

And then I died goes black and white and then if I can respawn get an AWP I jump outside and I shoot some fucker through a wall I think this is what happens and after I shoot the motherfucker I'm like Da da da da da da da da da and then I get fucking killed and it's like oh and then the fucking dude who killed me that his avatar pops up and it zooms in the motherfucker, I'm like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then I get fucking killed. And it's like, oh. And then the fucking dude who killed me, his avatar pops up. And it zooms in on the avatar because it's like some fucking Indian dude.

Dude, I actually don't even need to watch the video because I just got the whole thing. But there's like a whole element to it that you don't see. You know what I mean? I can describe it to you, but it's like, dude, there's this zest to it. There's this fucking. A little pizzazz, yeah. It's like in videos, man come in in videos man you gotta you gotta have that extra little that little you gotta do that youtube editing with really fast zooms in

on everything and a lot of sound effects yeah a lot of fucking jizz yeah fucking that's what i used to do i used to take this i'd call asian people i call them up on the phone and i say hello asian fuck eric dude how blazed are you right now? I smoke like a pretty... You didn't even have that much to drink yet. Well, I saw him puffing on that little pan, so... I've been poofing about a poof right now. Poof this bitch.

Apparently that's a bad word in Australia. Poof? Oh, yeah, it is. Poof or puff? Puff. Puff or poof? Jigglypuff. That's in video game.

It's fine. Yeah, exactly. Jigglypuff? It's not a bad word in America, so I could say it all I want. Yeah, fuck off, Australia, with your weird-ass words. They got some weird slang. How did you like Australia? You went to cold ones.

Dude, I went to cold ones, and then Chad fucking got his dick out. Oh, yeah, but same thing happened to us. Yeah, I was pissing in the sink once. Nice. And we're in the Airbnb. This is my first time. He had a hospital wrist strap that said, I have AIDS. So I'm in the washroom.

I'm pissing in the sink, right? Because I can't be fucked to use the toilet. Toilet do be I'm in the washroom I'm pissing in the sink right because I can't be fucked to use the toilet toilet do be kind of hard to use I love pissing in the sink. Oh absolutely. I advocate for liberating to do that shit I'm pissing in the sink and then fucking max the chat. They open the door. They're like nice car Look, I got do I pissed in the sink last night? I took it I Took a picture myself pissing in the sink last night because it was Matt be like yo Can you put that on Twitter real quick? No, I'm not putting that on Twitter.

If you put your dick on Twitter right now. Yeah, well, Chad, I'm not Chad. If you put your dick on Twitter right now, I will put my dick on Twitter. Ryan, that means you have to also. I'm not putting my dick on Twitter. I am not ever putting my dick on Twitter. Dude, it's 2021. Dude, Chad, I don't want to roast on Chad, but he's got a small penis. I think my mom's put my dick on Twitter.

Your mom did. She put that baby picture of you. Your mom technically leaked his dick pics. Oh, shit. That means there's dick pics of me, too, I think. Are there pictures of you naked? When I came out, I came out white. Really?

I mean, they just kind of like... Why didn't you stay white? They adjusted the settings. Yeah, they adjusted me. It was a character customization. That's a damn shame. They're random. You're the first black dude on the podcast.

There's no way. Pretty awesome, right? Are you being serious? There's a chance that's fucking true. In this society today! You say it's a chance, it's a high chance. What is the fucking... Are you for real? I think so, yeah. Where in the nigga's that?

Hey man, but it's good to have you here. Just this one time, you know? They say when you go black, you never go back. Well, actually, for all future episodes, we were just going to do blackface. Is that cool? Oh, what's up, Jackson? Who's giving you this, actually? Speak of the devil.

Oh, shit. That would do be a bottle of something. It's Hennessy, dude. Hennessy be like? You want some Hennessy? I'll take the Hennessy if you hit up my boy, Morgan Freeman. He's black, right? Yeah. Yeah Morgan Freeman. He's black, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. He's black, right? Is Morgan Freeman black? Next episode. Get him. Samuel Jackson. Is he a Mexican fella? What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do? Do you want me to open it? I don't fucking know what you're giving to me. I don't know what you want me to do. You would want to- I gave you- You wanted Hennessy. Jackson!

What the fuck you bring that shit for? Yeah, that actually feels kind of racially motivated. What, the fucking, okay, dude, hand the black guy the Hennessy? Yeah, that's kind of what that felt like. Rest in peace. That's some cognac. Dude, do you like Hennessy? I hate Hennessy.

I hate cognac. I don't like brandy or any of that shit. Cognac? Cognac, bro. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope holding this. Rope now? What do you mean by that? Because it's so small, I feel like people all the time just go, and go, Oh yeah, dude, I-

That's some Shoenice shit, like just chugging a whole bottle of Hennessy. Oh, it's a Shoenice. If you had a camera, I'd Shoenice. We have a- I got a video from Shoenice for Ryan. Oh. Uh, because Ryan was having a hard time fasting during Ramadan. So he, I got Shoot Nice to give him money. You Muslim? Huh?

You Muslim? What is that to you? Are you Muslim? You fasted for Ramadan, you gotta be Muslim, right? I feel like you're coming at me about something. You're kind of attacking him right now. I grew up Muslim. I didn't ask you.

What's your question then? You're getting a little too personal, dude. I'm confused. I don't want to talk about it your question then? You're getting a little too personal, dude. I'm confused. I don't want to talk about it. This is like, there's a separation of religion and podcasts. He's Middle Eastern. Are you Muslim? Dude, you're really going too far now.

I just said, did we not just go through this? We did and he's just not getting it. Something's not clicking. Wait, like not allowed go through this? We did, and he's just not getting it. Something's not clicking. Wait, like not allowed on the podcast? I'm just doing a bit. No, we're just fucking with you, man. It's creating a really uncomfortable moment for you. Fucking, yeah, my brain is on like swole mode right now.

I grew up a little Christian boy. Yeah, we both grew up super fucking Christian. You grew up Muslim? I grew up Muslim. How was that? How was it? So you're not Muslim? No. The fuck?

He's Palestinian, though. You didn't fucking fast for Ramadan? No. That's Haram. You know what I did? That is Haram. I dunked some bread in some grape juice and ate it. Okay. Do you guys have that in Islam? Sounds awesome. Went to Sunday school, went to concerts and put my hand in the air

and forgot. Oh, I did too. I was always doing this. With the. Working through me. I cried a couple of times doing this. Cause like they'd be playing that Christian music and I had both my hands up and I'm like, Oh Jesus Lord. I could feel him. I could feel him touching me. You could feel him?

Yeah. I could feel Jesus. That was the priest. Yeah. That actually, that's why they move around so much. Legitimately. That is actually why they move. Why they're always shifting.

Yeah. They're like, uh, they're always, I like to think like they move around just really fast. Like, just like. Like they have like an actual schedule where it's like, well, we're going to have to move them anyway. So we might as well plan it out. Well, we got these kids this week and I got to move next week. So do you think that Pope Francis is a. I don't know, but we talked about rapist.

We talked about Catholic pedophophiles he's a good one he's okay yeah he's like the only good one from what i've seen he he's the he's a progressive pope hmm he works for progressive i mean twitlonger's out there he knows about it he's not that old he's fucking he's careful yeah man he uh somebody like canceling the pope on tiktok like one of those people where they like have the thing where it's like, I'm tired of being silent. They're like, I'll fucking do it right now. What's another? Is the Pope just always going to be like an ancient dude?

Is that the thing? Like, is there an age limit for the Pope? How do you get selected as the Pope? Do you just have to be really close to God? Sheesh. Guys, I was molested by the Pope. Are you serious? Are you making a

TikTok right now? Yes. I think he's, dude, he's creating content. Always creating content. He came in vlogging. Yeah, it actually scared me. I walked down the hall and then I realized I was on camera and I looked really bad. I turned around and ran. Please cancel. I was out on the patio and I Are really bad so I slipped by the Pope. I turned around and ran. Please cancel. I was out on the patio

and I... Are we back? Alright, done. He was making content, bro. He was making content. Bro, you want some... I'm bidding. You're bidding?

I'm bidding. What are you bidding on? I'm bidding. Bidding? Yeah. What is that slang? It's like a fucking bit. Bit?

Oh, like Bitcoin? No, not like Bitcoin. Like camera bit. Camera voice Yeah. What is that slang? Fucking bit. Bit? Oh, like Bitcoin? No, not like Bitcoin. Like camera bit. Camera voice bit. What? Huh? What are you talking about? I don't know.

Going by the camera bits. We're just fucking with you, man. It's really fun just confusing you on the pocket. We have guest time. I'm 20 years old. I'm seeing like demons right now. That might just be the schizophrenia mixed with the drugs. Maybe something like that

maybe it's like a psychosis I'm on fucking ADHD meds are you? what are you on right now? dexedrine dexedrine 10 milligram

daily dose I have never even heard of dexedrine that sounds intense generic Adderall is it fun though? it's not necessarily fun it's more like it's like essential to function it makes oh do you like

uh do you like need like adderall to function on a day-to-day because adderall is if i tell you i don't need it but it's probably a lot better if i use it yeah i'll just be like bruh moment all day just like hello i'm literally the world literally the world. It's so bad for you, though, Adderall. It's awful for you. It's going to make your heart explode. Dexedrine is better, though. It's a bit better. It's still a fucking gay shit stimulant, but there's a fucking non-stimulant that exists.

Yeah, well, I take methafenol for narcolepsy. Is that not a stimulant? It is a stimulant, but it's not an amphetamine. So it's non-habit forming, too. When I take Adderall, I really, really like afterwards feel just like shit. Yeah. Like coming down from Adderall,

I feel like I got hit by a train and my body's like, why did you... You just did meth essentially. It's only one molecule different from meth. Adderall. It's hard to like come back after doing it. Like you have to...

It's almost like coming back from like overseas, like travel or something. Yeah, yeah. It kind of feels like jet lag. Yeah, you have to, it's almost like coming back from like overseas, like travel or something. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of feels like jet lag. Yeah. You have to like get back into like the rhythm of things because I usually don't sleep at all.

Oh, when I take Adderall, I will like literally stay up all night. So even if I take it at like noon, like I'll be up at like 6am because it just, it's not even that I'm like energetic. I just am not sleepy. I'm not tired, which is exactly what I need. So, but instead of Adderall, just try meth. Can you get prescribed modafinil? I'm not doing meth.

Yeah, yeah. You can get prescribed it? Mm-hmm. Oh my God. Because it is used for ADHD, but. It's not FDA approved. It is. Bruh.

It's like a. My doctor said it's not. Modafinil? Yeah. Yeah, it's FDA approved. Bruh. It's for, it's mainly for narcolepsy. So it's like a my doctor said it's not modafinil? yeah yeah it's FDA approved bruh it's for mainly for narcolepsy

so it's better but it increases focus narcolepsy means you cannot sleep or you can sleep I can sleep okay I'd be fucking falling asleep

like a motherfucker narcolepsy means that my body randomly they don't even know how it works like just on my head out moments yeah

yeah exactly my body's like alright bro I'm a head out moments yeah they might yeah exactly my my body's like all right bro i'm a head out like throughout the day but i actually need to go take it i forgot to take it oh she's gonna take it right now yeah okay are you can you guys hold down the yeah we'll hold down we'll hold down the four we'll talk about uh fucking talk about talk about fortnight and call of duty i'll teach you fucking halal fucking moments angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.

Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps because when it comes to getting the most out of your home,

you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Brian, you've been studying for the SAT a lot lately, right? Oh, it's super hard. And, you know, it's... It's okay. it's okay it's okay i just always found it hard to get in a routine of getting my big brain in check finding days where i feel good to study or or just where i'm on it you know

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Conditions apply. Air Transat. Travel moves us. I love Halal Guys. That's a huge Halal moment. Halal Guys is great. Have you had Halal Guys? Is there food? Yeah.

Let's talk about the Mecca and fucking Muslim book What the fuck is it called Quran? What do you mean you grew up Muslim and you just said you asked not anymore I what yeah, but that's like that's like ah man. What's the Christian book Bibli Bibliotheca the Bibliotheca Who the fuck that's like a like a fucking Israeli word for dancing. It's Torah. No, it means library in Spanish.

Fuck off. Biblioteca? Biblioteca is nuts. Oh, God. Yeah, Bibli out, this bitch. Motherfucker. So teach me something. All right, so there's four times a day where you fucking pray.

You get a carpet, and then there's this script that in Arabic that you fucking need to say. Yeah, you have to face a certain direction. Oh, fuck off. I thought you weren't Muslim. Yeah, you have to face a certain direction. Oh, fuck off. I thought you weren't Muslim. Well, I think this is a generalized thing. Like, people know about communion. People know about, like, Jesus on a cross. Like, I think I know the fundamental.

Go out Muslim and not know the Quran. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to teach you if you want me to teach it. I was like, teach me something. And he's like, yeah, so we pray. We get a carpet out. And then I'm just like, yeah, and you have to face to teach it. I was like, teach me something. And he's like, yeah, so we pray that we get a carpet out. I'm like, and then I just, I'm just like, yeah, and you have to face a certain direction. He's like, well, I thought you weren't Muslim. I'm like,

this is like general knowledge stuff. Give me the hard hitting come, brother. I would think so. I feel like even like right wing people use that as like a series for jokes. They're filthy little jokes. Steven Crowder, you dirty boy.

I would like to see a boxing match between Steven Crowder and Too Mad. You know what it's like? That'd be sick. When you pull out your fucking... Would you do it? What? Would you do a boxing match? Steven Crowder and Too Mad?

Yeah. Steven Crowder is a fucking epic YouTuber. I like his bread. He do be breading up. He looks like the big brother of David Dobrik. Okay, dude. Doesn't he? That's my boy.

Yeah, you're talking about. They're like, they're kind of cheeks and their nose. They're like Santa Claus nose. You like Steven Crowder? I'm actually kind of interested in like philosophy. Yeah, he's a great one for philosophy. I'm not sure I would go to Steven Crowder for philosophy. This is how I connect it.

No, no, no, no, no. This is how I connect it. My brain is spitting out straight facts. It's like, there's Steven Crowder and I'm remembering this conversation

with a friend who's really into philosophy. I was like, if you were to do what Steven Crowder does, you know, you'd do great because you're very good

at rhetoric and talking, communication, and news. He's a very nuanced fucking guy, very fucking, whatever the fuck.

So yeah, he do be Steven. You know he's really racist, right? Wait, wait, wait. Steven Crowder is nuanced or your friend is nuanced? Steven Crowder is like... Steven Crowder is not nuanced. This is all I know about Steven Crowder, okay, is he

goes to fucking campuses and he fucking shits on fucking children. And he's from Canada. Is he from Canada? Yeah. He looks like a fucking Canadian. He's a Canadian. No, he's not, motherfucker.

What do you mean? He's American. He's Canadian. He's American. He's a Canadian idol. Dude, you're... Okay, dude. He came from Canada.

Fuck off. One of his bigger talking points is like, long lines are dumb. And that's why we need... Hey, Siri. What? Where's Steven Crowder from? I love the long line argument it's like well steven crowder was born in gross point michigan why does he say canada then whoa dude he doesn't say canada he does there's several occasions hold up

yo ryan just got caught in 4k. Fucking 8K right here, my boy. 16K, man. American Canadian commentator. Conservative political he hoes. You're not going to convince me. No, C. Reed doesn't lie. Oh, he has a citizenship in Canada. Oh.

For what? Well, he's a jackass. Just to be Canadian? I don't know. He lived there for a while, I guess. There's no fucking... Dude, do you ever get louder with Crowder? I watched a Christian movie

that he, Ryan made me watch this Christian movie where he played, Steven Crowder was in it and he played like a high school jock. And he looks like

he's like 40 years old, like muscular and stuff. We should watch that. What was it called, Ryan? Jimmy, pull that up. What? What was the movie that you made me watch?

How to Save a Life? The Christian, yeah, yeah, yeah. About the kid that comes to school. What? What was the movie that you made me watch? How to Save a Life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. About the kid that comes to school. The black kid's the one that comes to school with the gun. But he saves a Mexican kid in the end, right? Or was it like a Filipino? No, no. So it's like the main character's the white guy that saves the...

I can't remember that much about the movie. But there was another emo kid that the white boy saves. Yeah, yeah. I think he was Filipino or something. A cute little Filipino boy. Dude, I, you know what?

Yesterday I was driving and I, you saw a cute little Filipino boy. I swear to God, I saw the guy from Bruno that plays the, like the pygmy, like, uh, like his little boyfriend.

Yeah. I swear I saw him on the side of the road and I was like, holy, that looks just like him. And he was short and should have honked at him and pick them up. I thought about swinging around, let him get in and say I'll give you a ride wherever you need to go yeah actually we I also got a cameo for Ryan from Chris Hansen but I never posted it that's true you do not smoke a mid all for free McGee 69

it's not supposed to mean no that's a compliment Ryan doesn't smoke mid. Smoke home. Is it a compliment? Yeah. Mid's not good. It's mid. You don't ever want to be accused of smoking mid. Yeah, it's mid. That's embarrassing as fuck. See, I'm not caught up on the latest...

You want to smoke high. Ryan, as a stoner, you should know about mid. I got some fucking high if you want. Is that high? This is high. What is it? Fuck you. You offered it.

Is it cannabis? I extended my hand towards him and then I pulled it back. That's just not, that's dude, that's just so rude. Honestly, that's just fucking. Did I fucking e-wagged it back? I can't trust you after that. You actually want to trust me? Yeah, you actually trust.

I have trust issues. It takes a long time to build trust with Ryan. And if you fuck that up. Every YouTuber would be like, I have zero Bobox, dude. Dude, you can't. I do. Oh shit, I haven't checked my Roblox stock. See how that's going.

I haven't checked it since I bought it. I bought it the day... Did you make sure to get Roblox stock? What? Thank you. What type of weed is it? He was very aggressive this time with handing it. I saw that, yeah.

I feel like you had... You're like, I have to break... You had like jerked it in my face. It was very... Yeah, he jerked it in your face. Very assertive. And I respect that. You to break, you had like jerked it in my face. It was very. Yeah, you jerked it in your face. Very assertive. And I respect that. You jerk off.

You just jerked it right in my face. Jerk off motion. You jerk feet. Is there no button or is it just like pull? Just fucking. Man, I love how some of you guys signed super mega up for all these political emailing lists. Like we just got one from Rand Paul that says throw away your masks and burn your vaccine passport that's the subject what was I looking up

uh Ron Paul's age no I was not looking up RuPaul's age Ron Paul they're the same person RuPaul and Ron Paul the same fucking person oh Ron Paul's the fucking the bald head looking ass no Ron Paul's the drag race one RuPaul's the politician

vote for Ron Paul vote for Ru. RuPaul's the politician. Vote for Ron Paul. Vote for RuPaul. I vote for RuPaul. RuPaul's the other bald motherfucker. RuPaul's not bald, man. He's a great politician. Can I try that?

You want to try some sweets? Yeah, I'll try some of these cookies. Yeah, the gaming. I'm about to game right now. I'm actually gaming. We should get cookies. Like cookies from McDonald's's like milk and cookies. Fuck about it order some dude I can't I mean we can order some cookies right now on Postmates That's the great thing about LA man. You can just be like which mic is the one that's plugged in uh

That one on the right yeah This one they're both they're both this one was this one was near my mouth, this one was off to the side. Oh wait, tap that one? This one? Is that the one that's recording? It's the left. Tap the other one? Tap the other one?

It's that one. It's that one. Okay. Is this one? Mm-hmm. Fuck. I'm just screaming into it, man. Dude, you're not drinking your drink I made you.

I thought you said you liked it. I don't fucking... You want me to put some Hennessy in it? You said it tasted like Kool-Aid. It tastes like fucking alcohol. And, yeah, it does taste like Kool-Aid. No shit. Just give me the Kool-Aid.

I'm already fucking on some good kush. Kush is all I need. You're on that good kush and alcohol, though. I wake and bake and I'm just like, I don't need shit. Do you wake and bake? I fucking... I hate waking and baking. Just because I already have such a hard time waking up, it's like, that just puts me back to bed.

You do be sleeping. I do be sleeping. I was late to work today because I slept through my alarm. Well, I woke up, my alarm, and then I hit snooze and then I just didn't wake up again. Max said, he's nuts. So I apologize for that. Max texted you. I was going to be late too. I was going to say, fuck this.

You should have. I was going to be like an LA man. Why would you do that, man? You can't say those words. I would have been rolling on the floor laughing if you did that. Dude, we would have been like, dude, he got us. That was fucking awesome, man. That was awesome. Can I taste this drink that I made for you so kindly with a little umbrella and a maraschino cherry inside?

I would never say no. You did put an umbrella in that, too. He did be putting a... I would never hurt a child. So is it... Does it taste like Kool-Aid? It had Kool-Aid, right? Mm-hmm. Am I just like the smoke and air world? Like, fucking... Well, I mean... Is it not Kool-Aid? It was Kool-Aid. What? Huh? No, it's grenadine. So this

is a hologram, right? What? We're in the holographic world? Life, yes. So, that's lit. And you guys are just fucking with me, right? What? Where's your gun? What are you fucking talking about, dude? Grab this Hennessy, and I'm gonna fucking bust out of here.

Better not bust out of here. You wanna get the gun and the Hennessy and run down the street with it? Is Halal guys on fucking Ubers? Yeah. Are you looking to get Halal guys? I'm looking to fucking eat something. Jay, what are the odds that you have to go next door to our neighbor's house completely naked with a bottle of Hennessy and that gun and ring their ring? Did you actually just say that to me? Yeah.

Why? What's- With a gun? Yeah, that'd be awesome, dude. I have this switch in my brain that says, I must do everything, every challenge. Don't, do not do this, because this will, this will also be better off. That was a challenge, that was a joke. And I just had like this moment where I was just so shocked with the fact that you said that.

It was like, there's no way that you would think, you would say that if this was the real world. Because that gun will kill me, dawg. It's not a real gun. It's a prop gun. And every time I... Police don't give a fuck. That's true. The police actually...

But you're Canadian, so they... Yeah, dude, you're Canadian. Okay. Let me hit it out. Fuckhead. Gun's awesome, though. If you... We're going outside with a gun.

Fell man. Let's do it. We're going outside with a gun. You're fucking agreeing. We're going outside with a gun agreeing We know we're not stop not back out go in the back with a gun. Yes, we do we got no We're not you're not going outside that that's literally how the cops show up and shoot you on site down And then and then the landlord's gonna be like why were cops called about a firearm you didn't even you move your hand And warn us about a firearm you didn't even you moved your hand. You didn't even warn us about a firearm. You moved your hand. Start filming this. No. No no no

no no no. No this is this is not good. Give me my phone. This is bad. No. We're not doing this. No you're not. Legit no. Where's the gun? Jackson. Legit no. That's how you get shot dude. Where's the gun? Nowhere. I think I hit it.

If he walks outside with the prop gun. That's literally just how you get shot. That's how our old neighbors will call the police. Our old neighbors will call the police when they see him, and then our old neighbors will be scared. First of all, there's a black man in the neighborhood. With a firearm. And then he's

gonna have the firearm when the police show up and it's no don't film outside you'll dox us it's actually a real gun just repurposed to be an airsoft gun so it looks like a real fucking gun

it's an officially licensed Glock it's like an official Glock and there is no it's it's it's an officially licensed glock it's like an official glock yes uh and there is no like you could it's heavy you could not like if you if you pulled that out on me is he still is he still looking for it i don't jackson don't let him have the gun is he outside with the gun right now Is he outside with the gun right now? Good work, bitch!

How was it? It was epic. I didn't even fucking go outside. The Netherrealm was fun. The Netherrealm was fun? Do not edit that bit out. Oh, I'm not editing that out, man. But you actually... After you left, Ryan and I just looked at each other and were like...

You fuckers are fucking... You trust me way too much, dude. It's not that we... No, no. I think it's the exact opposite. It's the opposite. You're reading this completely wrong. If I brought that cocaine, I would 100% went outside.

What do you mean that cocaine? You act as if you've mentioned the cocaine. What the fuck did you mean I'm reading something wrong? I can read. No, I'm not, never mind. Dude, reading do be epic. People are actually going to read this as, whoa, this is a heated episode.

Are you still trying to order food? No, Katerina texted me. She said, I respect you. I love when I get a sex paired with the message, I respect you. I said, I respect these. Let's go, dude. We're friends.

We fucking talk about music and shit. Katerina? Yeah. Nice. Come to you. You think she appreciates that? this guy's my friend's asking me

hey when's the podcast that you're doing I said right now exactly right now right as we speak yeah right right in the middle of the

so like you'll go back in those messages and you'll see like you'll be like wow I was I was sitting here in this in this room

in this heated episode comfortable room comfortable I was sitting here in this room, in this... Heated episode. Comfortable room. Comfortable. I'd say it feels comfortable. Maybe some... We need some plants in here.

Yeah, honestly... Should I go fetch some plants? Oh, we should get a bunch... Would that make you feel more comfortable? Hey, how about we get a bunch of real plants? Dude, you got little peats, dude. Dude, nice little peats, bro. The fuck?

My toesies? Your toesie-wosies? Or my fucking socks? Your little piggies? This shit feels good. Yo peats, dude. Dude, nice little peats, bro. The fuck? My toesies? Your toesie-woesies? Or my fucking socks? Your little piggies? That shit feels good. Yo, careful, man. Dude, you're giving me oxytocin. Dude, this little piggy went to the mic.

Hey, man. You know what I'm saying? This little piggy about- You need a camera for your fucking podcast. Why do we need a camera? I'm going to bless my toes. This little piggy's about to be in my mouth. No, we don't.

Because it comes out in the voice, I feel. Oh, for real? We're so comedically talented that- Fuck, nigga. Your mic is just dropping but you've well you've

because you've been grabbing the mic the whole time and like violently moving it around so that's probably why it fell off so like

several times in the episode people hear like here I can fix it fuck it nigga we freestyled I'll hold the bitch

okay you can hold it if you want we'll make a lot of noise. It doesn't need to be more like station. We should probably put it on. He's rubbing the microphone into his penis. You're always worried

about my mic. I feel like this is the new mic. That's the one that I'm not touching. You would rather use my mic now. I would much rather use your mic. Hold up. Matt's leaning over to fix the mic. My mic is heavy. After Too Mad spun it like a top.

Spun that nigga like a flip. I'm about to suck on those jaws. Amogus. It's not an Among Us tattoo. Dude, he spun that ass in a circle. Don't move, okay? Statue moment. Dude, it has to.

Stop moving. Among Us. It's not an Among Us tattoo. I'm, okay? Statue moment. Stop! Among Us! It's not an Among Us tattoo. I'm gonna put an Instagram, put like an Among Us sticker. Where does it look like an Among Us tattoo? He says that it's an Among Us tattoo. It's an Among Us tattoo. This boy crazy!

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And you can shop that whole world right here in our aisles. Find it all here with more ways to save at Real Canadian Superstore. What are you doing? What are you saying? He's the one making that noise. You asking me?

Hello, guys. I love the fucking video of you doing the burnouts and then you that noise. You asking me? Hello, guys. I love the fucking video of you doing the burnouts and then you pull up and you're like, hello, guys. What are you saying? Hello, Barack.

That's not what you said. Hello, Barack. Oh, fucking Obama. That's his, I wish he, I wish his name was just, oh, fucking Obama.

But it's like, you know, it's like, it's like a middle-aged man. He changed it right into his second term so it's like very apparent. President, oh, fucking Obama. But it's like, you know, it's like a Middle East term. He changed it right into his second term, so it's like very apparent. President-o-fucking-bama? Yeah. Okay, if a president legally

changed the name to like fuck-ass or something. I think there's a, you can't legally probably change it. But he's the president. He could probably sign some executive order. Be like, if you got enough people behind it. I'm gonna let myself change my name. Because he can't, he probably just My name's Too Mad now. He'll have to go through Congress, right? President Too Mad. All my niggas. I love when he said that name. Because he can't. He probably just. My name's too mad now. You'll have to go through Congress, right? President too mad.

Oh, my niggas. I love when he said that. You laughed. At his. You're racist. It was funny. Race is funny? No, race is not funny.

Ding, ding, ding, ding. Race is funny as fuck. It's not. It is. You should never joke about it. It's so funny. What's so funny about my race? Dude, you're not even Muslim.

What? I didn't even bring that up. Dude, I was talking about. You're talking about religion. He's talking about his race. He's Palestinian. Fuck? I didn't even bring that up. Dude, I was talking about religion. He's talking about his race. He's Palestinian. Fuck, I got to post this on story. I was talking about my white blood.

Fuck. I think Too Mad's a little racist towards us white people. I am. Yeah, and it offends me. It makes me uncomfortable. Well, I don't know. You guys be fucking protecting me from the other blacks, dude. What? I got punched by a black dude at Taco Bell in LA

What what I imagine what did you what did you do to him? When I walked past him wearing my biker gear my fucking glove like like touched his bag Like scraped his bag when I walked out like to the point where I didn't notice I did it at all Okay, he fucking I'm on my dirt bike. He's come. Oh he comes up to me He starts giving me the fucking soliloquy about I'm on my dirt bike. He comes up to me. He starts giving me the fucking soliloquy about fucking.

He starts giving me the soliloquy about, while you were walking out, I don't know if you realized, maybe you didn't know or notice with your big gear, you swiped my bag. And I was like, huh? He was like, my bag. You swiped my bag. I don't know if you noticed. And I was like, I turned my fucking bike on. So he's like, my bag. So you didn't say sorry. I didn't even fucking, because he's like coming up to me turned my fucking bike on. So he's like my back. So you didn't say sorry.

I didn't even fucking because he's like coming up to me about the fucking fight me. He's scaring the shit out of me. I'm fucking. Oh, see, see the with the way you told it. He sounded like, hey, man. Hey, man. Now he was intimidating me. He's like, hey, you hit my fucking bag.

It wasn't like that. So that but that's or was he like, hey, you hit my fucking bag. Okay. Do it exactly as exactly. I could have said sorry. But at the same time, I was like, this guy's intense. Or was he like, hey, you hit my fucking bag, dude. Okay. Do it exactly as he said. I could have said sorry, but at the same time, I was like, this guy's a fucking crackhead trying. He was trying to press me. It wasn't like some guy like, let me be like polite. It wasn't like that.

It was like, this guy is like. But I want to feel it. Say it the way he said it. Look at me the way he looked at you. Pretend Ryan is you. Well, I had my helmet on, so it was like a bit fucking foggy. You should be able to. Well, I mean, you can.

Did you put the visor up? I'm not doing the fucking impression. Why? Are you too scared? I lost it. No, I it was a bit fucking foggy. You should be able to... Did you put the visor up? I'm not doing the fucking impression. Why? Are you too scared? No, I'm not scared to fucking do an impression. Is it bad memory? I lost track of the fucking story. I want to go back to it.

You want to go back to the story about you bumping into a dude? You didn't get to the part where he punches you. Yeah, that's where I'm trying to fucking go. Okay, so he fucking... So after he tells me that shit, I turn my bike on, and then he was like, he started making some noises. Started scatting.

And then he... He started scatting. Yeah, he was pulling some shit like that. And then he fucking two-handed fucking shoved my head. I had my helmet on, so it wasn't bad, but my neck jerked pretty bad.

I was like, this reminds me of fucking the last time I got hit. You know, I haven't been in a fight in a long time. Did you start recording him? Have you been in... I fucking... I was in fucking Firefly, I haven't been in a fight in a long time. Did you start recording him? I was in fucking Firefly.

I immediately zoomed off. Oh. I was like escaping him. I almost fell off my bike and fucked my life. Was he running after you? If the bike fell, like when he shoved me, like I could have fucking broke my life. Oh, yeah. That's like 300 something pounds.

I don't know. Yeah. It's fucking bad. Dude, that guy was acting pretty sus. I guess you could say that. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah. It's fucking bad. Dude. Really heavy bike. That guy was acting pretty sus, I guess you could say. He was being a sus imposter. What other fights have you ever been in? Been some Worldstar shit? Keemstar?

No, Worldstar. Keemstar. No, I fought Keemstar. Like a fist fight? Yeah. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. But I had an opportunity to in Australia.

You did? Yeah. We actually had a huge Skype conversation, me and keeps are where he was just like really really really fucking angry at you me because yeah because i made a video about fucking oh my god let's not go here yeah okay wait if he if if he's saying let's not go here then it's probably best we don't go i just i don't want just have to bleep the whole thing out. I must be on that good coach. Yeah I can tell bro. Is it Maui Waui?

Maui Waui is great. It's great dude. Dude you're gonna make the whole microphone fall apart. He keeps moving from different pieces. First it was up here and then he's like and now you're like with the screw. It's like fucking automatic behavior.

Do you want like a... This is my most comfortable state fucking with your mic. Do you want like a fidget device? Want a Rubik's Cube? No, I already have one. Nothing will suffice this. This is the best I can get. It's natural.

Well, the problem is it actually is... If you bring me something, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be squeezing a fucking like little... No, the Pikachu fucking... But when you're playing with the wire, dude, it picks up on the fucking mic. The problem... That's true. He was over here like- I'm like, dude, you're going to hear that on the microphone. This is even worse.

You can just fucking- It's like going through the mic. The fucking- Yeah. Dude, if I was Joe Rogan, I'd scream right now. That shit scared the fuck out of me. I haven't been screaming in a long time either. You haven't screamed?

You haven't screamed yet? I scream a lot, but it's like my normal talking. When I scream scream, it's like very painful. Oh, you haven't screamed in a while. No, I haven't screamed super loud in a while, and I haven't been screamed that super loud in a while. You know, Ryan's famous for his laugh, and I'm famous for my funny scream. Don't fucking... You haven't fucking...

Okay, you'll kill me. What? He was loud, but he was like still... Do the scream. Yeah. It's really hard for me to do unprompted now. It takes a lot out of it. You did it last time prompted.

I can search it up. Jackass. When did I do it prompted? I don't know. Also this tweet. You don't have to do it. Yeah, it kind of hurts. What do you think of this guy?

I'm holding up a Yoda face mold. What do you think of him? You could say that's a toy Yoda. He'd be green. I think I really like that mold of Yoda, but it's a little bit like too... He looks like William H. Macy a little bit. You see that? What do you think?

Sorry, Ryan. Sorry. Oh, he's watching Super Mega. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to show him the Yoda mold. Is that a scream compilation Getting there what part is this you niggas is playing Mario You like super mega dude

The screams coming up dude fuck this what dude you didn't watch the whole Super Megamix? Dude, I don't know what the fuck's taking so long for you to get to the goddamn screen. It should just be one second long. Here. Not a fucking compilation. I'll show you the most famous one. It's when we were on game... We were playing with Game Grumps.

Bye, Jackson. Bye-bye. I think I fixed it, but I don't know if you guys know. It turned it off. So don't use it today on my monitor. Cool. That toilet in the office. Okay.

Okay. Cool. See you, dude. Peace out. MacBook. Dude. What, dude. You saw... MacBook. Dude. What, dude? What about a MacBook?

I'm taking a picture of you. Dude, what the hell are you talking about with the MacBook, dude? Do you want me to put my hands up? She got the booty for me. Dude. Ryan McGee does not smoke mid. That's a good thing. Is that Ryan's laugh? It is. Here, dude. Here's the legendary scream. Is that Ryan's laugh? It is.

Here, dude. Here's the legendary scream. Oh, Game Grumps decided to re-upload it on their other channel and get 320,000 views. What's it titled? The legendary scream. Oh, wait. This is on Game Grumps channel? They have a clip channel.

And they got 320,000 views. I didn't see a fucking penny of that. That's my scream. That is your scream. They didn't... Oh, my God. Any scruplers? Yeah. And it's like a rude joke, I don't want to come up and be like,

Hey, I just wanted to let you know, like, that was just a bit. Oh my god. Just wait for it, dude. You'll love this. They didn't notice, so don't worry. Okay. Just don't make a scene or anything. Don't make a scene. No!

Over Mario! Aaaaah! You must have got the fucking big mushroom boy i love watching sometimes i'll just sit down and watch soup i actually do sometimes hours of super mega i binge watch it like i binge watch popular netflix show sometimes like if i'm if i'm drunk or high late at night i'll go like back to like five-year-old videos and just like i don't remember this at all and it's like watching a brand new video i'm always like just i i think for some reason i try to just leave videos in the past i'm like i don't want to go back and like accidentally get nervous about like how like

how i edited back then that is true i don't like watching like and all and also like like when i hear myself not being funny five years ago or today uh it's like i'm like ah man dude early super mega man's the so it's better days yeah i remember watching every let's play when we after oh yeah we used to watch every single video even when justin started editing like i remember watching them and shit but now i used to watch every single super it's just like it's better for me mentally if i just like keep it behind me and I can just move forward. You don't watch it back? No.

Not left plays. I don't watch my shit either. I never knew other people. I watch the live action stuff. We watch all the live action shit, but we don't watch the left plays. I don't watch any of my – I try not to. Unless I edit it myself, I try – I don't watch. That's why I upload videos and I have fucking editing errors and I want to fucking news.

Dude, that's the worst. If my editor makes it, I don't fucking watch it at all. I try not to until he's like bro you gotta make sure it's good and I'm like bro it's probably fine

are you self conscious yeah I mean I don't know if that's the right word to use fucking something that pussy also you can say your pussy

it's where you look at it and it's like what the fuck I don't care I don't wanna look at the imperfections just pose it yeah

you know we're such perfectionists we have to stare at the imperfections all the time. And then stay, like, after, like, after, like, you watch something for the billionth time, you're just staring at it straight-faced, like, nothing's, like, it's basically new edits you create that make you laugh, but none of the jokes are landing to you.

It's, like, you have to keep... Because you've heard it so many times. You have to sometimes keep yourself from cutting too much. I know I cut a lot back when, like, you and I edited you and i edited let's plays oh my god we cut a shit ton i mean our videos we cut like back then we'd cut like 40 minutes down to like 10 minutes yeah and now we just do more of a long form but also back then we didn't really know how to riff on each other very well like we got we got better as the time went on uh because i just remember like a year or two and i was like man just like what's not there was bad but like we weren't

we couldn't do like a smooth flow for a while there always had to be like cuts remember we used to have silence a lot and we were like we'll cut the silence out oh yeah we always used to address it like yeah we'll just cut the silence out but uh I'm glad that now we can we can do without shutting the fuck up

yeah it's great I'm sure everyone around us loves it. I'm sure everyone around YouTubers loves the fact that they can just talk. That's like a symbiosis. It is. That's a big word, dude. Soliloquy? Symbiosis? Synergy?

Hey, high five for that big word. Come on. Come on, man. That's an SAT word right there. Sure. Yeah. You're fucking on another level right now, aren't you? You smoke too much marijuana.

I don't know if he would describe it as too much. Not enough. He described it as too bad. I'm doing the Trump voice. You guys are fucking, you guys are really inspiring to me, like the fact you guys just hit record, you know? I just feel like you guys do that, and that's awesome. I've never really done that. I've always been very

Like setting it up? Self-conscious, a word well i mean what's the word i don't know just fucking where you're just like you're fucking you're like it's hard for you to just like actually be like okay we're gonna do it now are you saying like we just like come here press record sit down and talk or no it's because I do best in my natural state. I mean, I'm really just talking about my old videos. Nowadays, it's not really like that, but I don't know how to describe it. Yeah, I mean, I was surprised

when I first met you. You're pretty different from your videos. A lot gayer and a lot more quiet. Layton told me that I'm like exactly the same. Yeah, you're way more chill off camera. I'm fucking chill now. The second the camera turns on, you become a screaming child. Sociopath.

I like it though. I was actually called sociopath on the street when somebody was like, I was just, I was like, you have a lot of street encounters. Yeah, I was on the street and I fucking fell off my bike and the dude was like, are you okay? And these big dirt bikes just started rolling down the street and I was like, oh shit, look at the dirt bike because I was screaming. I was streaming with the camera in my shoulder

and the homeless dude was like I don't know if he's homeless he was going home fuck it just the dude he fucking he was like fuck you man I was like fuck me? he was like fuck you bro I was like why? he was like fucking

I'm a sociopath bro? well no he's why'd he call you a sociopath? bro? Well, no, he's... Why'd he call you a sociopath? He's probably leaving some shit out, like, he, like, slapped him around on stream. Oh, no, no, before... He, like, pantsed a homeless dude.

Before I fell off the bike, I asked him, I was rolling down the street with my bike, and I was like, he was, like, talking to, like, some white family there on vacation, and he was, like, fucking... It's this, like, crackhead moment where you're, like, yelling at somebody you're like yelling at somebody you're not supposed to do and then the fucking

I fucking but what did you say I want to know classic crackhead moment I want to know the details the details are motherfuckers he keeps leaving the details

of the stories out and I'm like there's more to that the detail is that I said do you have any crazy stories so he connected do you have

you ask me for stories I follow I follow the bike I'm trying to go home. And then you're looking at the content rather than caring about me asking if you're okay. He's like, you didn't reciprocate the feelings there. He was checking on me, but I was more concerned about the content of the dirt bikes. He's like, so what's he about, dude? You know David Dobrik killing his fucking roommate or whatever the fuck?

He didn't kill him. He killed his fucking Jeff nigga penis. Yeah, that's David Dobrik's roommate. I or whatever the fuck? He didn't kill him. He killed his fucking Jeff nigga penis. Yeah, that's David Dobrik's roommate. I'm sure that's not his name. No, that is his name. That's what he goes by. That's his name, bro. The dude on the tractor.

Oh, on the crane? On the crane, yeah. Was there a video of that? Yeah, they released a video. Didn't he fracture his face, like his skull or something? Yeah. It's like, here's the thing. At the same time, okay.

I don't know the full story. At the same time. One minute, site. It's like, here's the thing, at the same time, okay, I don't know the full story. At the same time, the dude, where's my weed at? The dude went out there and did a dangerous stunt, right? With his friends,

yeah. It's not like David Dobrik forced him to do that, right? Yeah. It's like, get on the fucking crane. No,

I don't want to. I think, I think, I think probably the thing was, David just kept like, going up and up, and like, he kept going faster,

and the dude's like, no, I don't want to go faster. Oh, that's not cool, but. I think he probably did that, maybe. going up and up. He kept going faster. And the dude's like, no, I don't want to go faster. Oh, that's not cool. I think he probably did that maybe. My sister did that to me on a fucking... What's those things you run on? Treadmill. Oh, that's a nightmare.

And then she fucking put it to max out of nowhere. She jumped onto it and I just flew and hit the wall. One time I was at... My parents used to go to these church group dinners at this nice, fancy, rich person's house that went to our church because they would host dinners for everyone. The Bush family.

Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah. No, the Bush family. Barbara was so sweet. So sweet. But I remember I would, I'd have to go with them and I would, they'd be like, just go upstairs and hang out, Matthew. And there was this other kid up there and they had like a really nice like movie theater room and they had a treadmill and I was playing with the treadmill and I had it

on full speed and for some reason like I don't know what I expected to happen but I picked up like a 25 pound weight and I just put it on the treadmill and it flies off and just smashes a huge hole in the wall and I was like oh... Oh, nigga, what the fuck? So I went downstairs like, Mom, quantum physics. Mom, I... How much trouble were you in? I was in a lot of trouble.

Did you have to do extra chores around the house? Yeah. Fuck that bitch. Enjoy that wall. Fuck it. Nice 25-pound wall, dumbass. Dude, it actually really damaged the wall. Fuck the wall.

My mom gave her money for it, which we didn't have. Okay, great. She was on a payment plan. I also fucked up that one time I went to a Godiva store in Seattle. What store? Godiva. What's that? The chocolate. Oh, okay.

And I went in and there's a huge tray of chocolate covered strawberries that I thought were samples. So I ate like six. And then he's like, sir, what are you? How old are you? Imagine a guy walking to a chalk store and starting to eat the chalk. Wait, how old are you? Like 12.

Okay, so you're just a kid. Yeah. But imagine some dude walking in his feet. He calls you sir? Everyone calls me sir, Ryan. 12 years old. It's a level of respect. Matt, you chief.

I'm imagining you no but I eat like I ate quite a few like six he's like what are you doing and then he's like go get your mother and I had to bring my mom in

and then she had to pay for the fucking strawberries dude and each one was like $15 so she was not and then I remember my cousin was with us and then my cousin's mom

my aunt got her some chocolate while we were in the store and I was like why does she get chocolate then my cousin's mom my aunt got her some chocolate while we were in the store And I was like why does she get chocolate and my mom's like you already fucking had Your life, but yeah, she had to go fucking pay for it almost $100. They were delicious though I still remember how like chocolate covered strawberries are just fucking You know Airbnb in New York and this motherfucker like was fucking around with a bag and he knocked off this mirror off the fucking Wall and it made a big asshole $200 down the drain damn dude motherfucker had a fucking thing just fell off

I was there's also this fucking like 500 pound friend I got his name is Tito and he was like squeezing his ass cheeks together while he's laying on is he from a Face down does he like surfing Vegas? Yeah? I went swimming with him once in his fucking He's like that Nick you know that one episode of Homer where you like turns into a ball He's like that in real life. Are you sure you're not just friends with- Have you seen Rocket Power?

Have you seen Rocket Power? No, it's Tito, not Rocket Power. No, we're not saying his name is Rocket Power. We're saying the show Rocket Power. I don't know what the fuck

was his name. You don't know what the show, Nickelodeon. Do you know what Jimmy Neutron, Fairly Oddparents? Yeah, Jimmy Neutron. But you haven't heard of Rocket Power? No.

There's a really obese character named Tito. And he likes surfing. Surfshack Tito. I have a fucking Twitter fucker in my replies whose name is Tito. Surfshack Tito does edibles. I know, he's in my replies too. Yeah, fuck that guy. No, he's actually really cool.

I actually talked to him. I fucked his mom. Whoa, dude. He's going to hear this, man. He's going to get mad you said fuck him. Fuck the kids, dude. I do like him. He's one of the few people that I get

constant laughs out of in my replies. I talked to him in the DMs. I sent him some free merch, actually. For me, it's when Chris Hemsworth is in my mentions. Yeah, but he's always saying that weird shit. What are you doing? You're turning the light on and off? Does Chris Hemsworth even have a Twitter? I don't know. Who is Chris Hemsworth?

Thor man. Is he Thor? Yes. Oh, yeah. Does Chris Hemsworth even have a Twitter? I don't know. Who is Chris Hemsworth? Thor man. Is he Thor? Yes. Oh, yeah. Does he? I know Captain America has a Twitter. What about Captain Underpants? Captain Underpants is cancelled. Is he? No. Dave Pakil. What's his name? Right? Pac-Man?

Pak-illa? What's the author? Oh, Dav Pilkey. Not even Dave. it's just Dav. But some of his older books, he had to like apologize for incest and shit. Well, the way he depicted African natives was just horribly offensive.

Wasn't that Dr. Seuss? Or did Dave also do this? No, Dave drew some really like very racial native Africans. I'm going to look this up. Seuss? Or did Dave also do this? No, Dave drew some really very racial Native Africans. I'm gonna look this up. Who was in Paris? Are you gaslighting me, dude? I am gaslighting you. So that was Dr. Seuss who did this.

Sorry, what? You're gas smoking. No, Dav Pilkey didn't have to apologize for anything. That was Dr. Seuss. Dav Pilkey had to apologize. I'm sorry for making a book that has the word underwear in it. Dav Pilkey. Dude, Super Diaper baby was my shit. Yo, y'all niggas read Bones? Bones?

I don't think so. The N-word gets them every time. It does. Nigga! Dude. We could... This is sick, man. That was a good soundbite right there.

The shit bounce, yeah. It's not the N-word that's making me laugh. It's the way you're saying the whole phrase. It's because whole phrase it's because of the nigga doobie soundbite it's the way he drew the uh it's that it's the way wait so is it actually the way he drew a black guy i think so um i mean i don't what's what's your what's your how you that? it's cause you gave him like an afro and like looks like fucking uh alinity and fucking

try hard screenshot that for reference you've got a great phone heavy like Jamie pull up alinity

and triax please who? it's the case it's made out of uh titanium yep

solid titanium where's the bike they use on the space shuttles. Ryan, where'd the bike at, bro? Where'd the bike at? Why you no bring it? I don't know. It's in his trunk.

You fucking didn't trust me with it? I didn't say that. I just didn't bring it. Do you think I can ride your epic bike? Well, he doesn't trust you because you broke his trust earlier. And when you break Ryan's trust, you know, it's going to take you. You said you were going to bring it on a podcast. I said I was going to bring it Wednesday.

No, I said I might. Oh, hell no. I did bring it, though. I to bring it on a podcast. I said I was going to bring it Wednesday. No, I said I might. I did bring it, though. I did bring it. I wrote it to her. I'm just clicking the microphones together now. Let's go ride your fucking bike. Where do you live at? I got plans tonight.

Where do you live at? What do you mean where I live at? I'm curious. What's your specific address? Your fucking area of the city. I'll tell you afterwards. He's got a mansion up in Beverly Hills. your fucking area of the city. I'll tell you afterwards. Oh. He be living in the bushes, my brother.

Beverly Hills. Yeah. He's got a mansion up in Beverly Hills. Yeah. He's got a couple of maxes. Dude, I live in the valley. It's just I got a shit ton

of like gay shit. Because I live in the valley. Where do you live? The valley. You live in the valley? Live in the valley. Deep in the valley? Deep in the valley.

Where do you actually? The fucking. Because we'll cut this. No ho. No, keep it in. I live in. Yeah, because he's got no ho's. True. I don't cut this. No ho. No, keep it in. I live in. Yeah, because he's got no ho's. True.

I don't be having no ho's. Do be living there. The women just don't be. Dude, you're literally just like holding the mic and just like. It's going to. Dude, it's going to sound like shit. Don't you have ADHD too? No. It's going to sound fine. Don't worry about it. What do you mean it's like it don't you have adhd to know it's not gonna sound fine don't worry about it what do you mean it's gonna sound fun fucking be fine dude that's why I fell off earlier what the

my microphone fell off something else with it you fix it it's fine Matthew as he's undoing it again I tightened it Matthew yes kneecap did come on man ow got your ass boy Ow Owie I'm gonna call the police on you Wow That hurt Fuck call them bro I just went out with a fucking pistol

As a prank I was one step away from that shit Were you Yeah I'm so glad Nobody would have seen it Were you feeling the excitement I was like dude I'm about to fucking

Shoot literally nothing He lives for He lives for the thrill Of walking outside In a In a Neighborhood With elderly neighbors That are watching with a gun in his hand.

I scared the shit out of your neighbor. Oh, God. The dude down there, you know, where that's that dead end? Oh, God. I thought that was maybe your house, and it was pitch dark. Oh. They're bringing in groceries. Their whole family was outside.

And I roll up. My dirt bike. A black guy on a fucking dirt bike. And in the dead end. And they're all frozen just there. Like, I'm talking NPC fucking bug. Oh, yeah, because it's the dead end. You roll up. Yeah there. Like I'm talking NPC fucking bug. Oh yeah.

Because it's the dead end. You roll up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I pull up. I'm in a green dirt bike. Dual sport.

KLX 230. My nigga. It's loud as fuck. It's pitch dark. Like little kids. Toddlers to fucking grandmothers. Outside walking inside laughing. The lights are off on the car.

But they're on in the house. They got groceries in hand. The dad is like. Hey I'm not he looks like he's in a blue shirt dress shirt whatever the fuck and I fucking I rode away and I was just like I probably should have said I'm sorry my African Americans

I bet they're just laughing like yeah it was something like that they were they were moving until they saw me and then they froze did the husband at least get in front of like the kids and the wine he was like he was holding the groceries and out of the out of the trunk just holding it and then they froze. Did the husband at least get in front of like the kids and the wine? He was like, he was holding the groceries and out of the, out of the trunk,

just holding it and then he was staring at me holding the groceries. So he was in like a vulnerable position. He's like, oh yeah. He was like,

cause he's like, he doesn't want to drop the groceries either. Grocery mode. And he's got like, he's got like eggs and shit. Yeah. Bruh.

Dude. Tell me a little bit about your van. What fucking van? The Canadian van? Don't you have the Brudimobile? Is that what it is? The Canadian fucking van? It's in Canada.

What? You gotta drive it. Dude, you gotta drive it down here. Motherfuck, man. You got $3,000 just to cross the border. What? Yeah. It's like some fuck money, bro. $3,000 to cross the border border. What? Yeah. It's like some fuck money, bro.

$3,000 to cross the border? Yes. That's ridiculous, bro. That's like really sexual. That's a black man fucking saying that. Yes. Now, it's okay for you because you're a sexy white boy, so it's like normal for you. But for a black man, it's like black man, uwu voice is like different.

I don't do an uwu voice, though. You just did it. I know. I was trying to be like a sexy woman, not like an ooh. Okay, woman is ooh. Do you think I could be like a cute little soy boy twink? Like fin boy? If you wanted to be. Should I start doing the fin boy look? You're too

rigid, bro. You're too fucking rigid. You need curves and shit. Yeah, I'm a little angular. You're like a fucking fucking robot. He's robotic. His body is like arms and hinges. Skeleton.

Fuck ass. He's not wrong. This nigga has a bow and micro. This nigga got... What? Are you making fun of my friend, Matt? When I walk around, it's just... This nigga got zero bo-bucks.

First of all, that's not true. First of all, you will address him as Cracker, okay? Be respectful. Crack ass! Crack these nuts! Bitch ass, nigga! Crack an ass, boy! Skeleton-looking ass!

Hold up! Ring-ding-ding-ding! You know when you're in a cave in Minecraft and you hear the skeletons nearby? Doonk! Doonk! I remember you teleported me to 2Mad when you were in some... On Epic SMP, yeah.

I teleported him to outside of the map. Leroy, you got mail. You fucking teleported me to some weird ass fucking place. You started killing me as soon as I teleported there. Fuck you. I'll fucking last up. I know you will. Suck my dick. I'm from New York. Are you? Are you from New York?

I'm from Canada. Well, as soon as I sucked, I had his gym pulled up. So I pulled up his gym because I wanted to see how he reacted when I teleported you outside of the world. And I was like, my nigga! You were like, what the fuck? And then I teleported Ryan. You were mostly silent after that.

I was like, hello? Then you went... And I was like, what the fuck? I was sneaking up on you. So I teleported you at the last second back because I was so scared. I was like, oh no, he's going to kill Ryan. And I know Ryan's actually going to be upset because he has items. And you can't come back and get them there.

I had a fishing rod that if I died it would have been gone. I got you back at just the last second too. Yeah. You were about to kill him. You were just running around Epic S&P killing everyone. That fishing rod did go away once you modded me there. Yeah, sorry about that. I don't have my brain faculties

yet. I stopped playing Epic S&P just because I couldn't control my power too mad to go into the last one when is the last one? I ain't doing shit I should go Trevor sent me the video he made

I haven't watched it yet though you know Epic S&P ultimately was fun in the beginning none of those people are Minecraft streamers either except for a couple so they didn't keep up. I didn't fucking keep up with it. Yeah. Well, because I didn't have a

thing, a good streaming setup, so I was, like, waiting, like, a week to get my thing revamped, and I was waiting for something in the mail, and then after a week, I just kind of lost interest in streaming. What are you missing out on fucking not playing it? Dude, GHLT and Swagger fucking popped off, Selma. Swagger fucking blew that shit up.

Yeah, they owe me. Their careers, they owe their careers to me because I made a Minecraft server. You gave them like a fucking sick ass platform. Wait,

it's cool that we, it did, it did a bunch of creators I'd never met got to get together. This is a fucking, that's how I met Schlatt. When I was just in the tutorial,

like when we're just like testing a server out, that was fun as fuck. I thought the whole like first, because I, like the first like, I think I played for two weeks or something like that first two weeks were awesome dude the beginning was fucking like that first day was so then i just got off of twitch completely that's my thing is like it it's

not that it's not that i'm lazy it's really just that i i can't get into streaming i try and i just can't like i just i have so many problems and i and i'm self-conscious and i just like i'm not i should i should get over that some gay shit yeah sorry i just did you just headbutt the mic he's been headbutting the microphone ah just allow it dude yeah i mean i mean we're allowing it we're not let i'm just making sure that's what i saw because it's not something i see every day you have logicked you just logicked him, dude. I have no logics. You know the brain finish grows at 25. This definitely isn't done.

You know the brain finish grows at 25. All I think of is I'm going to kill Ryan in this unfamiliar place. For you, you're like I must save him. Oh no.

We were talking about this. That's like your laugh. You know one of the most famous LA riots started between really bad relations between the Asian and African American community in the city. Koreans and African Americans back in in the city. Mm-hmm. Koreans and African-Americans.

Mm-hmm. Back in 1994, right? Yep. 92? No, it was, I don't know if it was. It was early 90s. Y'all were alive then? No, I was born in 96.

Very beginning of 96. And he was born in 94. Ah, history, dude. Wait, are you born in 2000? Yeah. That's weird, dude. That's weird to think about. That's the fucking. That's such a cool year to be born in you born in 2000 yeah that's weird dude that's that's weird to think about that's the fucking that's such a cool year to be born in though 2000 it's cool yo we're 90s kids

man you didn't get to even experience the 90s we did and i have vivid memories it's just kid is bop yeah like it's i don't well it's because the 90s like the stuff bleeds through and kind of... A decade's whole vibe doesn't really get set into the last half of it, right? But then it kind of goes a little bit further than that into the beginning of the next decade. I wasn't... The early 2000s still felt very 90s. I have memories of the 90s, like very faint ones. I remember some things, i never like i wasn't old enough to like understand the culture or like that's the culture just like cassette tapes vhs

yeah i i remember mainly i remember because my sister was older uh floppy disks and shit because i what i remember mainly was my sister was older than me so she actually was a 90s kid she's born in like 91 so she uh i just remember like she would just have all those 90s, classic 90s things. She loved Aaron Carter. Dude, I listened to Aaron Carter too. I know. And Britney Spears. Yeah, yep.

So did my sister. And I remember she had, they were called hit clips. The little things you put with the music. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? I don't remember that. And remember that thing that you put on your ankle with the ball and you like spin it and jump? Yeah.

It's fun. It looked fun. I cracked my fucking ankle with it. You do it wrong. I didn't crack it. Like with a scooter, you like crack it. Oh, man. Can you do any scooter tricks?

I can't do trick for shit. Could you try? Yeah. What's the craziest thing you've ever done? I think it was being set on fire. Yeah, did you put on like a flame suit? Yeah, it was like a flame suit. Was it fun though?

For the off-canny video? It was very cold. Yeah, it was for off-canny. It was a very cold like suit. So it was like fucking very cold to get in, but it was like worth the picture. Huh? Yeah, it looks sick cold. Yeah, it was for all candy. It was a very cold, like, suit. So it was, like, fucking very cold to get in, but it was, like, worth a picture. Huh? Yeah, it looked sick when you were on fire. I was like, holy shit.

Because burning is one. I feel like there's... That's what's cool, like, outwardly, like, I could say, and somebody would be like, like, that's cool. That's why we're trying to... We're writing our book right now so we can become New York Times bestsellers. That is true. What's your book called? But what is cool to you?

Uh, fucking... Yeah, fucking is pretty cool. I wish. I like this. Vibing. Just vibing, just guys. But we could all just chill on our phones for the rest of the podcast. Let's do it. I'll browse TikTok and YouTube.

That's mine though. I take TikTok. You have YouTube. I want LinkedIn. No have YouTube. I want LinkedIn. No, I want Dailymotion. You want to own Dailymotion? Remember those obscure websites? There was like Dailymotion. There was a... Wasn't Dailymotion where you could go for like porn

like really back in the day? I don't... Like they would put... Not like porn porn, but you would go there because they would have like uncensored parts of movies. Oh, of movies and shit? Yeah. I remember when I was a teenager, I subscribed to the subreddit,

like, boobs on YouTube. Boobs.com. Lesbians.com. Girls kissing. Grooba. Dude, my favorite thing, go on Google. My grooba.

Dude, doesn't he look like a booba? A booba? Booba! Booba! look like a booba A booba Booba God fuck boobas Doesn't he look like one Take a photo Take a photo if it's funny dude Well do you know what boobas look like Yeah boobas

Do you We're not talking about boobs We're talking about like the kids show Boobas This man Bro this show. Boobas. This, man. Bro, this is you. Boobas. I look like a mogus right now.

That's you, dude. See? He has like appendages. Take a picture. Take a picture of that. Ryan, will you take a picture Of me holding something Next to him

Yeah He looks like a fucking booba Is that actually called booba A booba Yeah Okay hold up Yeah there we go People can zoom in

And shit yeah Nice Can you take a picture I hope you don't take any offense to that It's all good Dude Layton said that you Crushed his self esteem People can zoom in and shit, yeah. Nice. Can you take a picture? I hope you don't take any offense to that. It's all good. Dude, Layton said that you crushed his self-esteem because you told him he looked like an 18-wheeler driver, like a truck driver. Are you fucking kidding me?

That's, like, something you should be proud of. He looks fucking sexy as fuck, driver-ass. Yeah. Did you fall asleep at Layton's? Show me the photo. Please send it to me before you forget. Oh, dude, wait. You fucking... You fell asleep at Layton's, please.

Layton sent me a video. I slept my ass. He's forget. Oh, dude, wait. You fucking... You fell asleep at Leighton's place. Leighton sent me a video. I slept my ass. He's like... Why you guys scoping me out? You guys went over and slept. Fuck off. We do background checks on everyone we have on the podcast. Yeah, yeah.

You're a fucking FBI. No, he... Phoebe. I named my Wi-Fi. I got set up yesterday. I named it Russian surveillance. What am I doing? Give me the...

Send me the fucking photo of me looking like the boob. But, dude, literally... Literally, I just get this video from Leighton, and he's like, this man really just fell asleep on my floor. And look, look, like, look at the video he sent me. First of all, your phone is playing Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd so loud. Yes. While you're, like, just laying there asleep. I died, dude.

Here. Sleeper moment. Can you put this in the podcast or just voice? What? I'll put it on screen. So everybody can go watch the video, but look it's fucking this. I love this video. You're just like dead.

I need Layton to send me that. You're out cold, dude. I'll send that to you right now. You'll love it. I'm vibing. I just airdropped it. You know when niggas be vibing? And they're just on that good vibe.

You just smoked a shit ton, I'm guessing, and then just passed the fuck out, right? Well, just now, he just did that, too. Minus the pass out. Sorry, I mistracked. Dude, you are high on the kush. Booba. Very. Oh, I need to see that booba photo.

It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Pretty good shit. If we're all compared to something, my Minecraft skeleton, he's a booba. What are you, Ryan? I don't look like a booba. I think you're Ryan? I don't know who I'm a booba. I think you're like the Lion King King. You're a thumb thumb?

Like a thumb? It's the dream team, man. A booba, a thumb thumb, and a Minecraft skeleton. Maybe like a pill shit. Just the shape of a pill. Is there a better one for me than a Minecraft skeleton? Like a thick pill. Don described me as a... Maybe like a pear with legs and arms.

You look like a... What do I look like? You look like a... Dude, I... The video when you're in your van and he's talking to drive-thru people or something. He starts playing that. I love being in that van, dude.

That van's sick, dude. The fucking soundboard was like... It starts doing the Skype. It is a great video. Oh, it's so great. And all of those... I need to do more of that. All those teens...

We'll not be filming anytime. And all those teens literally... They all said the N-word? They're all fucking racist, dude. So, yeah, because your video was, you would say, if you say the N-word, I'll give you an iPhone, and you go up to a bunch of white. Yeah, fucking the N-words.

I gave people N-word passes, white people on the street, and they fucking said it. I scoped out specifically, like, young people. But did they also get the iPhone? Huh? Yeah, they fucking got iPhones. One of them came back with the AirPods, and she was like, she came back to me Like crying and shit She was like Take me out

I have to go to school And I was like Of course I'll fucking take it out And she was like She wouldn't believe me She was like Well why did she say

In the first place Did you take her out? I don't know Because she wanted the AirPods Huh? Is she out of the video? Yeah she's She wanted the AirPods

Okay She wants the AirPods So fucking bad She's like, alright, I'll say the N-word on camera for a channel with millions of subscribers. I told her she could

put her hood up and fucking cover her face and just- Oh, that girl? Yeah. And then she said it, but it was really shitty and I was like,

no, say it like your dad was trying to- something like that. I'm gonna have a great time editing this. It's been a really fun episode so far. I keep it-

instead of my license, man. Fuck! Jackson has my fucking license. Fuck! I keep it right there. Bitch! fuck Jackson has my fucking license fuck I keep it right there yeah last night I had Ted Nivison at my place and we went to get some drinks at 7-11

and he had to buy them because I didn't have my ID come on we'll take a break come on we can take a head break we'll take a break we'll both suck your cock and then we'll go back

to the podcast y'all wanna take a little break real quick we'll delete the audio afterwards we don't have to tell anyone I don't think I will fuck off dude

well fuck you dude you don't know how good we get hit you're probably not good at it no don't you got Invisalign in yo we give good head that shit hurts

we don't have Invisalign we have perfectly straight beautiful teeth okay maybe then I'll say yes you should have clarified that at the beginning why do you just assume we have Invisalign in? Yo, we give good in. That shit hurts. We don't have Invisalign. We have perfectly straight, beautiful teeth. Okay, maybe then I'll say yes. You should have clarified that at the beginning. Why do you just assume we have Invisalign off the bat? Look, you look like a... Dude, I don't look like a... Matt fucking Watson be like,

don't fucking touch me. Dude, I was trying... Dude, I was... Dude, I was just trying to bond with my friend, man. I like. Nice. Oh, Ryan's popping him off over there. I just had to. My favorite part in our book is just every time we unnecessarily just put like Ryan.

Body cam shows cop shoot at Rottweiler. What? I want to fucking. Oh, that's good! Oh, that's funny! Oh my god! I... No.

I can't figure it out. You just would have to watch a Rottweiler shot. Dude, I was ready to see some bodycam footage of... From... In our front yard at the Super Megaplex of Tumat getting shot. Because he has a fucking gun in his hand. Why the fuck did you stop me? You niggas are fucking... What do you mean? We were like, don't. Seriously, don't. from in our front yard at the Super Megaplex of Too Mad getting shot because he has a fucking gun in his hand. Why the fuck did you stop me?

What do you mean? We were like, don't. Seriously, don't. You guys are men. You should have stood up and been like, hey, nigga, you fucking relax, bro. I wouldn't have said that. If there's a point where I have to like physically hold you, I'm not going to go that far. I'm not going to... You yelled at me earlier. You're an adult. I'm going to yell at you cause it's a bad decision

I felt that monkey energy excuse me? monkey why would you say that to him dude? cause I fucking wanted to that's really offensive man well maybe if you didn't fucking give me the monkey energy I wouldn't call him monkey okay but does my cracker blood put off some monkey energy?

string the hennessy if you have reparations what's up guys welcome back to the cracker cast that's what we should call it. Super Cracker? Yeah. We'll start after this episode. We're going to change it to Super Mega Cracker. And, yeah.

Jackson, bring me my sweet tea. He's gone, unfortunately. Jackson, would you bring me my sweet... Would you be a... Georgia Ann, would you be a doll and fetch that job? Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Fuck off!

Get the whip, boy! Jackson, would you be a doll and get me? Sit down! Sit down! We're from Charleston. You sit right there! That's the Charleston accent right there. Now get me the fucking nuts. The nuts?

Get me... Jackson. Drain my nuts, would you? Would you be a gentleman and drain my nuts? Oh, you're a real peach, Jackson, for draining my nuts all year. Nigga, I know you shot ten bullets. I got two guns, nigga. Dude, Django?

Django! Django Unchained? Django. I love that movie. Django, if you ever love someone. Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, I'm a good man. I'm a good man. I'm a good man. I'm a good man. I'm a good man. I'm Jango chained. They're both Jango! Brango? Sit down, bud! I'm Brango. Jango.

Brango! Yo. What's up? It's Jango Unchained. All right! What is going on? Why did you put the mics back together? He's been clapping them together. Oh my god, wait.

He's been like, Dude, this podcast is going to be one of the most chaotic, this might be the most chaotic podcast we've ever done, and I expected that too. Bro, your colon is pretty good. Ah, fuck that video, dude. It is a good video though, man. No, I know it's good.

It's just, it is embarrassing for me. Uh, because of just... What you watching? But they lied about how much alcohol they were giving me. In Greenville? Hey, Slugger, what you watching? Greenville's in South Carolina. I'm trying to find the right quote. What are you... What are you... Oh, there's that part in Django where it's like,

I can't see out this damn mask! Oh, the KKK part. My wife made them! Fuck y'all, I'm going home! Is that Jonah Hill? No. Oh, the KKK. My wife made them. Fuck y'all. I'm going home. Is that Jonah Hill? No. Oh, Jonah Hill is awesome. Jonah Hill plays the Klans guy in Django. Right?

I'm not making that up, right? He plays one of the Klansmen. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is a Django. I love Jonah Hill. I love him so much. Jonah Hill is a grand wizard, dude. He's a grand dragon?

He's the grand dragon of acting. I actually, I entered sweepstakes to have lunch with Jonah Hill. Did you win? I don't know yet. He's going to see your name in the choir. He's going to go, actually, you know what? Rig it. I want this guy.

He's a funny YouTuber. What's going on? I'm going to put this on. Yeah? Put this on these nuts. Casey Neistat. Are you Casey Neistat-ing right now? That's a good fucking feat.

Fuck my feet. Do you have a foot wiki page yet do you know girls who have like tumblr pages and twitter porn accounts do I yeah that's me you run all of them no no I do that shit what do you mean you do that shit you have an only fans

that's my energy I do have an only fans he actually does have an only fans because it's fun because we do that every podcast we always shit ourselves You have an OnlyFans? That's my energy. I do have an OnlyFans. He actually does have an OnlyFans. Why are you shitting yourself? Because it's fun. Because we do that every podcast. We always shit ourselves. We see how Phil, we can get our diapers by the end of it.

We really, we fill our diapers with big stinky poop and then we pancake it. Come on. That's what you're saying? Come on to? Out of everything on this pod, you're like, come on. Poop.

I know. I know. I think it's just because it's it's I purposely described it the most juvenile I know I'm excited to read the comments dude

they're gonna say you had who on they're gonna be like this episode was too fast it just wasn't good like listening experience it could be because

you're playing with the mic the whole time it could be yeah you're clapping two microphones together I'm just saying them niggas are gonna be out there like dude

my podcast wasn't fucking... I had to listen to... What's that one podcast? Call Her Daddy. I had to listen to Call Her Daddy instead of my regular fucking Super Mega... I had to listen to Comptown instead of Super Mega Cast. I don't even know what the fuck Comptown is.

Dude, it's a funny podcast. It's a podcast. Dude, what if I pull it up on my phone right now and listen to it? Yeah, let's play another podcast on our podcast. Why not? Bob Saget tries to play his fucking shit on ours. Don't they just say Trump is funny like XD Trump Orange? Comptown? Yeah.

Isn't that what it's about? It's about Trump XD funny orange? Yeah, Amogus! That's the description, man. Amogus us. Amogus us? Yep. What? Why did they use that guy, man?

He's playing Comptown now. Don't play Comptown, dude. Comptown's too vulgar. No, stop, dude. I have seen two of the guys from Comptown do stand-up before. I saw Adam and I saw... We saw Stav together. And that shit was funny.

Well, there was this asshole in the front row, though. Dude, he handled him. He handled that heckler so good. He was a plant. To make him look good. She started screaming that. And then when they kick me out for that, you say, he was a plant. Yeah, it keeps going down the line.

You know, if you ever want to do really good stand-up, dude, hire someone to go on before you and just totally bomb. So then when you come on, you're funny no matter what. you and just totally bomb. So then when you come on, you're funny no matter what. If you don't go to a popular comedy cellar hangout with your cameras and run in and scream and have footage of that, that's a great idea.

I'm going to be sad. You should do that. That's an amazing idea. You know where Joe Rogan and them used to hang out and all the LA fucking comedians. Flappers, the Laugh Factory. The people who take themselves seriously as comedians. Fuck you. Me.

I'm going to put comedian in my... And so you'd be a new age comedian coming in and showing them what... You're like the Dane Cook. I guess by definition we're comedians, but we're not comedians in the sense of the respected term comedian. Because we do comedy for a living. We comedians, bro. We comedians? We comedians. We are the jokes. We

are farmers. Dum-ba-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Nice. Synergy. Dude, drink this Hennessy already, man. It's just, it's staring at me and it's looking too good. I'm gonna drink it all if you don't. Wait, I'm about to lay down. You're about to lay down? Yeah. Yeah, because he fucking has that weed vape and hit like

40 fucking hits off it since we started the podcast. Yeah. It's not true. Are lay down? Yeah, because he fucking has that weed vape and hit like 40 fucking hits off it since we started the podcast. It's not true. Are you filming? No, remember he set the camera down? He's been filming since that. A mocha sauce. It's going to be like a cut in Casey Neistat.

For what? Oh, is this for your vlogs? Yeah. Nice. Before you upload anything, though, can I watch it just to make sure we don't accidentally show something we don't want to show

or dox ourselves? Yes. Because you were filming outside of our house at one point, and if you fucking show where we live, I will suck your ass. Okay. In a sexual way.

Give me the thing. Out of pleasure. That's what I thought. Gotcha. You know, there's gonna be some... There's definitely gonna be some, like... Fuck you. He sounds like a...

Ah! Cunt! Well, at least we have a camera in here. Hello! Hey, at least I have a camera in your mom's bathroom. Oh! Fuck off, fuck off. You know what I like?

There's gonna be... I know there's gonna be at least one, like, 15-year-old Minecraft stan that's gonna hear this podcast and she's not gonna know who Tumat is and she's gonna think he's white and then hear him start saying the N-word and be like, Fuck off. Fucking little girls, dude.

We address it in the beginning. We brag about it. That we have a black friend. Yeah. We have a black friend! Do you consider yourself our friend? Yes. So you're our black friend. Yeah. We have a black friend. Would you, do you consider yourself our friend? Yes. So you're our black friend, dude.

Thanks. Fucking lit. We finally got it. Dude, Matt Watson, you're such a character. Thanks, man. So are you. Earlier you were like fucking, yeah, man. Ryan's, Ryan's the biggest character with that laugh and the.

I'm a clown. Fucking handsome. You were like, yeah. I was like, I'm going to get a good shot where it cuts in. And I'm like, yeah, it's going to be real nice. I don't know what you're talking about. And you were like, yeah, man. I'm so confused.

Fuck me then. What? We're on the futon right now? We can. You're spreading your legs. You in a bottom? You in a bottom for a pop of meth? Why is your penis out Yeah put that away man

I'm gonna start touching it Don't No don't start touching it Dude what if he like just started Like he's just one of those dudes That like you know In middle school Start jerking off

It's still loud He's not touching it It's just That's the thing You guys just don't understand Can you please put your penis away Yeah I think

Okay maybe It's like flubber You seen flubber Hit emergency meeting It's like brown flubber Hit emergency meeting And we'll vote If I put my dick away yeah man his dick's like a little sus right now penis what's that y'all motherfucker you said penis yeah i never dude you know what keeps you the

most young this is true when you see people that don't age it's because they're goofballs man and they stay if it keeps you young and when i'm fucking 50 or 60 years old and i hope i'm still laughing at farts and penis we will be we'll be laughing at farts and penis because now that you're turning 27 this year yes i'm i i just turned 25 and it's still funny and i think at point, the test is when we get into our 30s. Yeah. And then, I don't know. I think penis is always going to be funny.

No, I think it's going to deteriorate in the next five years. Think about, as a meme expertologist, it's forecasted to the nuts of the two by three. These nuts are still great. What are you doing?

You're fucking rolling around like a pig in the mud. It's involuntary! I didn't- I don't have a choice! Reep! Reeeeee! He's kicking his little-

Why is there no- SQUAIL BOY! Why is there no film version of this? Cause all we need is the audio, man. Oh! Let people imagine it. Mega n***a. Put it in your ass.

Gotta beep that one. My foot? It's gonna go in your ass now. Do not. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's not fingering. I was towing his ass. Towing? That's the people... Bro, I'm towing your leg. It's not hurt. He keeps grabbing my leg. And he's like, wow, they're like toothpicks. Dude, fucking... Now you got some schmieds here. Ryan's got fucking crazy. Yo, flex. Come on, harder than that.

Control of the... I don't really have any muscle. This thing has leg muscle. Ryan's calves. You can see them already from here without flexing. Look. Look at Ryan's calves. You can see your calves. They flexing look look at my abs you can see your cabs Come there right there. They're just right behind your back. That's my calves, bro. I need a massage this Fuck give me a massage massage

Here's a nice massage for you. That'd be a good vlog you have to pay for money I'll come what the fuck you say see they have to pay for more buddy, and then I slapped your leg or your calf like that Ouch To it again that album. Oh, are you ticklish? Yeah, Do it again, Danny. I love that album. Are you ticklish? Yeah, a bit ticklish, mate. Dude. All right, mate, I'm a bit ticklish. You back off.

I called Ollie. Got on you. Oh, I shit me pants. Oh, love, I just shit me jimmies. Yeah, you're sexy. Shit me jimmies. You're sexy. Yesterday you were talking about popping off in your jimmies.

Popping off in your jimmies. I just came my jimmies. Came in my jimmies. Dude, you're at a 45, you're at a 90 degree angle right now. You're doing an ab workout right now. Like his feet are straight up in the air. You're laying down on the futon.

Dude, look at this shit, man. This is good. Are your socks not matching? Are you wearing two different socks? You're wearing two different socks. Yeah. Wow, man. Dude, am I not?

Are you in fourth grade? I'm a child, bro. You're 20 years old. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, fuck a sock, nigga. Who the fuck cares? Dude, look at my socks. They match.

Look at Ryan's socks. They match. Oh, who fucking cares? They both socks, ain't they? That's true. That's true. And also, no one sees them. I got double power.

They're in your shoes. Well, I see them now because you're... Now he's actually elevated to the point of playing with both microphones with his feet. He's using a hand and a foot for the one that's recording audio. This is good fucking fun. All right, look at the screen. This is literally what he's fucking...

Motherfucker. Wait, look at me. That was cute. You looked... Oh, what position? What do you want? Just be you, man. Fuck your mom.

And the pussy like I see hot. Did you take a photo? I did. Make sure. You're making me feel like I'm in a YouTube video right now. This feels like a highly hyper-edited YouTube video. Yeah. Like talking to you in real life.

It's connected. It feels like I'm watching one of... Because your videos are so... The funny bone is connected to the Adobe Premiere and After Effects bone, but it's also connected to my mouth and brain bone. My brain bone. It's the perfect combination. Yo, I get some brain and eye bone.

Dude, I'll do it for you. Dude, you're literally just rubbing the metal of the microphones together. Wait, you have the camera that you can... Oh, you turned it off. I was about to... Yeah, but it's also what he does to all the girls he knows. Turns them off? Yeah, turns them off.

Turn them on. No, you don't. No, I get them dripping. Do you? Do you? Potentially. Potentially. That's my answer. Do you? Do you? Potentially. Potentially. That's my answer.

Do you ask? Huh? He's randomly like hanging out with the girls, not even flirting. Are you wet? I think I smell it. I just kind of like, it's like a pheromone thing. I could be wrong, but I think I kind of. We do have anal pheromones like that come out of our anus.

Because I'm actually lubricating right now too. I'm self-lubricating. Yeah, you dripping? Yeah, man. I have a. Is your'm actually lubricating right now, too. I'm self-lubricating. Yeah, you dripping? Yeah, man, I have a... Is your mom actually going to listen? Yeah. Both our moms listen.

Yeah, they listen to every episode. So say hi to my mom. Hello, mother. Say hi to his hand. There's no way that... I'm interested to see

what the mic noise does. We should have, like, put him in a straight jacket. I know! This is my prime vibe. His mouth isn't even speaking into it. It's just... They'll pick it up. Dude, you're supposed

to be this far from the mic with these. Not that close. This is close. If you look at the difference of our audio waves, you're at the very bottom. It balances out though because, because he was loud earlier, so now it's quiet. Yeah, just boost it. Boston Pizza.

Well, it's definitely going to boost those mic noises, too. Oh, yeah. Give us a few more. Can you smack them together a bit? I'm done with it. Don't smack them together, actually. That would be bad. They're expensive mics.

Are you playing with your asshole? I was hoping. He is. He's playing with his bottom of his nut sack with his weed pen. He's just playing with it. It's like the sensitive area where he can press it and he's like

ooh, he's probably trying to give himself a fucking erection. It's where a pussy would be. Yeah, he should get an erection. What the fuck? I was going to ask if I could hit that again. You're toying with your asshole right now. Why are you doing this? He's rubbing his pussy ass or whatever the fuck.

Pussy ass? Whatever the fuck he's rubbing. Stop, it's turning me on. His bussy. He's rubbing his bussy. Dude, it makes me uncomfortable. This is a good podcast. It's making me uncomfortable too.

Yo mama's making me uncomfortable. What's your last name? Sadiq. Sadiq? Yeah. Both your parents are from Africa, right? Sadiq these nuts. Yeah, they are.

Ethiopia? Sadiq these nuts? Yeah. That's pretty good. Sadiq, uh, Sadiq. Something about suck my dick, Sadiq. Sadiq my dick. Like in Italian.

Sadiq my dick. Yeah. Hey, Sadiq my dick and Sadiq my deek Sadiq my deek You're pretty Dude you are smoking a lot of marijuana right now Am I? Everyone's gonna think like cause just recently this month There's been a lot of marijuana content on our channel

So people are like they've changed their stoners No it's just cause it's April Well I've always like Ryan's been smoking pot everyday Since before I met him Yeah so smoking, I've always, like, I smoke weed. Ryan's been smoking pot every day since before I met him. Yeah, so. Smoking pot. I've been smoking pan.

Well, uh, you look like you're asleep now. I think he wants to sleep. Do you plan on sleeping here? He slept at Layton's place, and now he'll sleep at our place. Do you want a blanket? Here's an iron giant blanket a fan sent us. It's very comfortable. It's a really nice blanket.

You're pretty epic, guys. Thanks, man. You're pretty epic, too. You're pretty epic yourself, man. Fuck you. Okay. But if you want to go check out that, like... No, I don't want to plug him because he has millions of subs,

and we don't even have one million, so there's no point to plug him. That is true. That is true. He's much bigger, so why would we... We do have a video that we all just did together because Cold One's challenged us to do a bunch of internet challenges and

fair warning if you watch it, there's a lot of puke in it, but for YouTube we fully censor the visuals and the sound of the puke, but Patreon you'll see it uncensored. You'll see how much I truly fire-hosed. But go check out 2Mad. Follow 2Mad on everything.

I just blanked out. You were giving me a really pissed off stare. No, I was just just blanked out. You were giving me a really pissed off stare. Oh, no, I was just completely blanked out. When I made eye contact is when I noticed I was just staring off. I was like, did I say something? No, I was just like, did I cut you off? No. Is that?

Man, I hate that. That's just what my face looks like if I'm just not thinking. It wasn't just your normal flat expression it was this was a more like like a little like stern it looks stern doing it again am I yeah that's just my face then we gotta start pants and

we guys we should start sagging more I love sagging I like sagging to the point where my my balls are out yep so I guess that's the end of the podcast. Yeah. All right, guys. Thank you so much.

We will see you next week. Go check out Too Mad. Next week will be a nice, relaxing episode. Maybe. What? Dude. Oh, well, we need Marisa to come on. She wants to come on next week.

Okay. So we should get her. We got to do that over Discord, though. Oh. Yeah, Marisa. No, they got to come here. Mm-hmm. that over Discord, though. Oh. No, they gotta come here. Mm-hmm. Uh, fly over here from Germany, and, uh,

if you're lucky, we'll do a podcast. She better. Yeah. Or else. Hey, what's 9 plus 10? Final question of the night. What's 9 plus 10? Answer the fucking question, dude. I'm not a police interrogator. Do I make you nervous?

He's holding your hand. He's holding my hand. He's looking to you for support right now because he's too high to function in conversation. It's 21. The answer was 21. I'm pretty... I'm like sober. Well, I mean, he's been ripping on it the whole time.

You've just been hitting it like it's a tool. You look like we should be wrapping you up in a sarcophagus. That's another big S word on the broadcast. I'm rotting. I'm overdosing on cum. Overdosing on cum? On semen. How much cum would it take to kill you? You just inject it into your bloodstream

and I'm sure it'll kill you. Nah, you'd be good. I've done it. There is this millionaire that buys semen from sperm donation clinics, and he puts it in his cereal every morning. Because he's like, it's good for you, it's protein. It's like, alright, bro, well, you can also just eat, like, a fish filet

or, like, drink a protein shake. From McDonald's? Like, a tasty protein shake instead of putting some random dude's semen in your cereal. But... Why doesn't he just put his own semen in? I don't... He just yulks into his own... Maybe he does get his own semen, too. Dude, imagine just yulking into your own cereal. he does get his own scene too. Dude, imagine just yelking into your own

cereal. Wake up, pour yourself a bowl of cereal, bust on and eat it. You're okay. See you everyone. Bye guys. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely

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