supermegashow - EP 243 - The Big-Money Briefcase

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

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Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Feminist women love Eminem. Freaking, freaking. Slim Shady, I'm sick of him. You were practicing right before the podcast. I know. Well, I wasn't practicing it to do it. I just, no, I was just singing it. And then when

the podcast was starting, I was like, I'll sing it. I know, it was a little too close for comfort to not call it practice. Dude, I was just singing it and then when the podcast was starting, I was like, I'll sing it. it was a little too, a little too close for comfort to not call it practice. Dude, I've been singing it all morning, man. Yeah, you were practicing for your big moment

at the start of the podcast. And I was like, I'll start the podcast by singing Slim Shady. No, I like it. You're like planning now. We usually don't plan for stuff that far ahead,

but. I haven't written down in my planner. You had it going. Start episode 243 with Eminem. This has to come off good. This has to go off perfectly without a hitch.

But then Ryan fucking interrupted me. I'm pissed, man. You interrupted my big Eminem debut. You're going to have to memorize Rap God now. Can I try again? No. And Dr. Dre says, Nothing, you idiots.

Dr. Dre's dead. He's locked in my basement. Feminist women love Eminem. Nope, nope, nope, no. Flicky, flicky. Slim Shady, I'm sick of him. Look at him walking around, grabbing his you-know-what. Yeah, practicing.

The practicing's coming off. Yeah. That's nice. I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose. You practice this in the morning in the mirror? No, I just, this is the like. Do you like record yourself in the shower on your phone and then you play it back that's good you play it back on loop before you go to bed

no uh i just uh the real slim shady that song is uh it's been stuck in my head a lot lately so i've been i i have to admit i've been playing a little bit and i've kind of played it quite a few times so i kind of have the lyrics down now. Of course. As any great, long-lasting song will do. It's a good song. Happy birthday is the same way. You don't forget happy birthday. You don't forget the ABCs. No.

They teach you in song. A, B, C, D, little star, na, na, na, little lamb. They're all the same tune. Yeah. It's crazy, right? It's magical yeah but you should uh you should teach

uh music theory at an elementary school that's an awful dig man that's an awfully hot coffee pot should I drop it on Donald Trump I watched that whole video last night and I I think that's where everything turned it's the calm before the storm right here

right that's where like no. It's the calm before the storm right here. That's where like... No, he was making some bad albums. Relapse. Yeah, he was making some bad music before he did the Trump freestyle. Yeah, but for me, I think that's what killed him. I think that's what... I was fine with the Machine Gun Kelly stuff.

I thought... I was like, oh, he won that. He was better. Too many... He sounds bitter to, modern day, you know. Well, he called Tyler the creator a bad word. Did he? The F word, yeah. Oh, did he?

In a song, yeah, he dissed him. How did Tyler respond? Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Yeah, yeah, usual Tyler. Dude, you know what? I sawinem went on like some dude's little music podcast that has like 4 000 subscribers i think we can get eminem on our podcast maybe maybe he'd be chill i he might hate us he dissed anthony fantano in a track oh oh he did he knows about youtube dude damn yeah he i think he might hate us if he ever met us

i think eminem would love us i think he us. I think he would get tired of us real quick. I like Eminem's music. Not all of it. No, I love the goofiness of it. The goofy shit is funny. And it's fun. Like the real Slim Shady and My Name Is. It's just the way his voice is. It's just nice.

It's very cartoonish. I know he can't in this political climate he can't do it anymore but I will say the accents he would do when rapping were very entertaining didn't he do like a Jamaican accent in one he's done a lot he did a lot of like Hispanic

and uh he said some Ching Chong stuff in one of his songs Matt he's Chinese ass like that that song he does the whole thing is like triumph the insult the joke was that I was correcting Matt

on his bad the joke isn't that I'm equating the two just to cover my bases here yeah dude well you know stop stop apologizing! I have to. I have to to go to bed at night and sleep well.

Without being like, do people think I was being serious? Yeah, exactly. Not just fucking waking up and like, so I heard you said this. That's an awfully hot coffee pot. I will say. It's very hot. Steaming sometimes. It's fun for me just to grab a boob.

Plus my penis got an attitude. I watched On the Way to Work the other day, Jackson. I listened to the entire thing of that. It's 11 minutes long. And it's about five minutes in where he says, It's fun for me just to grab a boob. Plus my penis got an attitude. I think...

It's great. It's fucking awesome. Did he just film that in the same spot that he did the donald trump shit no the donald trump shit was in like a parking garage with a bunch of old cars because it's not okay because never mind i think it's actually the freestyle that he did the 11 minute long one where i'm like that that's the one that i think i saw the donald trump one's much worse than the 11 minute one is it the 11 minute one just goes on it does donald trump one like starts and like through it you're like oh he's making good points it just sounds goofy yeah it's

just kind of cringy but the uh the 11 minute one he's got some he's got some good lyrical but he also has some lyrical miracles he's got some lyrical miracles but it's uh like it's fun for me just to grab a boob but like in the first minute he's talking about like an islamic extremist blowing up ariana grande's concert and it's just like it's like it starts off really like jesus he's like with a bomb strapped to his chest blows up ariana grande's evening as the crowd is leaving like you know well he did uh do a whole song from recently from the perspective of the Vegas shooter. Yeah. All about gun reform.

Yeah. He's very political now. He's not rapping about his mom anymore. He's rapping about Donald. Or wanting to kill women in visceral ways. He's still, yeah. Does he still rap about killing people? His new album, the newer one, is music to be murdered by. I see this girl, I creep up behind her, I try to be friendly, and then I slit her throat and gut her, and then I laugh and walk away, masturbate on her corpse.

It's probably something that he's done. That sounds like something ripped out of Relapse, right? Yeah. I've never given Relapse and those albums a full listen. You should. I've listened all the way through the Slim a treat uh the slim shady show or the eminem show some friends played some tracks on it last night just to go back in time and see uh how good it was what about relapse refill dude the like extended deluxe i don't think we want one of the worst things i've ever heard was i'm serious like he made this

song where he's apologizing to his mom for like I'm sorry mom it's very sweet it's like you know it's like he's saying sorry for all the bad shit he said and he's like I love you cause you're my mom and he's apologizing but it has the guy from Fun on the track but there's a version where they

replaced him with Elton John and Elton John is on Eminem it's so bad. What? Dude, it's Elton John. Dude, can I just show you a little snippet real quick? Elton John's actually the worst part of it, believe it or not,

but it's... No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Elton John was on Stan. There's a version of Stan with Elton John. There's a version of Stan with Elton John? Yeah. Sorry, I'm confusing my song. So does he

replace the woman singing? Oh, I can imagine that not sounding good. Yeah, that's not good. That's not good at all. Yeah, I don't... I don't... Or maybe it wasn't an official release, but he did it live

at least with no I remember him doing something maybe it was because SNL they did their little Pete Davidson one

and they have they have Elton John in there is it the real Elton John no it's not but the real Elton John was the theme of Bruno

dude Pete Davidson's in a world of hurt oh after he went for the king yeah Jake Paul saw that he was he was being all two-faced Dude, Pete Davidson's in a world of hurt. Oh, after he went for the king? Yeah. Jake Paul saw that he was being all two-faced in the locker rooms during the presentation. He was sweet-talking Jake Paul, then the moment he left the room,

he started trashing Jake Paul, dude. Really going after my man. Jake Paul caught wind of it. You come for the king, you best not miss. Jake Paul's about to knock his lights out Dude Pete Davidson better be careful Jake Paul could Kill me by beating my face in within 30 seconds

Probably He is very strong I feel like he always has Like an ounce of cocaine in his bloodstream Jake Paul has to be faster Than Pete Davidson whipping out a 9-11 joke at a friend's party i know people that died in that shit man that video is i was thinking about the video the other day of just the theater kids yeah like improv group or whatever improv group

and the guy gets really offended by the 9-11 joke and like walks out of the room and waits till they come pouring out and like so confront the teacher yeah it's just the way he screams and like throws the chair and then walks out and slams the door just makes it so fucking awkward like like i would if i if i were him i'd be like afterwards i'd be like that really wasn't cool man but he's like man like flips the chair and shit well the he he was cued in with one of those terrorist beards, I think was the line. Yeah. So it was pretty... But I mean, that's not why he was

upset. He was upset because of the lives lost in 9-11. He, you know, he wakes up every morning, he thinks about it, and he's just... We're about to, you know, this year is the 20th anniversary of 9-11. Damn. Yeah. And the day before 9-11's 20th anniversary is 21 day. 9, 10, 21. Crazy.

It's going to be a great day and then a sad day. Yeah. Is your stomach? My stomach just... Are you hungry? I'm very hungry, man. We do have food on the way. Hold up. Where's my phone? Dude, I don't know. Am I your phone's keeper? Well, you should... Ooh, I was sitting on it. Where is it? We're going to have to

take a little food break in the middle of this podcast ladies and gentlemen do some ad reads um i mean are we gonna do ad reads this early into the podcast because it's it's here oh the food's here yeah i could i could put in a goofy sound effect like a cartoon sound effect i don't want to spring the ads on every on all these not so soon not so soon unless it's on youtube okay again um the problem with youtube is that they sometimes automatically put a shit ton of ads on and i forget sometimes and i don't catch it until later but like we usually have to go and manually delete a shit yeah of ads and i just recently had to do that with the last one we don't typically put 20

fucking ads no and and now on the podcast i put I put a lot less on the YouTube version now because we have more sponsors, like actual sponsors on the podcast. So I put like maybe just three ad breaks on YouTube. But the thing is, YouTube has this thing where if you check it to be monetized and then we don't go and manually place where they go, they will put 19. Usually it's 19. That's the exact number they put. Yeah, it used to be a lot better. They put 19 on the podcast and everyone's like, why the fuck? Is there an ad three minutes in, six minutes in,

nine minutes in? It's like, that's not on purpose. If that happens, just freak out and scream at us on Twitter until we realize and delete it. I go to see what the comments are like on the podcast to see how people are, you know, what they're reacting to and then I see too many ads and I'm like, fuck! I didn't delete the ads.

It's not us. We're not that money hungry. We might be little cheap-ass money hungry grubbing fools. We're little gremlins. We're little gremlins for cash. Not that. We're not going to put that many ads. We're not going to put an ad every five minutes.

It's time to eat, because usually they don't know where the plex is. It's time to eat. Cartoon sound effect, and then we'll be back. It'll be like a second for y'all. Bye for a bit. We're back. Back in action.

Belly's full. All fueled up. You know, probably energy's going to go down because we're doing nothing and our body has to... Start digesting. Yeah, exactly. We're going to want to take a nap after this, probably. Yeah, dude. We're going to want to take a nap after this probably. Yeah, dude. Excuse me.

Are you texting during the movie? I don't know. During the podcast? I'm not. I just, I got a message from TaskRabbit about... A hot young man coming to your front door? To help me lift some stuff. Shirtless?

Holy shit. Did you say you have to be wearing a leotard? Mm-hmm. Good. Very specific directions. Well, he actually need a guy need help moving something and he's like i can actually i actually want to come now instead of 6 30 i hope he looks like bronson has the accent has the same kind of small penis it's a good movie it starts with a fantastic scene i's just beating them all up. Yeah. They let them in the cage. It's a good movie. They got that great Walker Brothers song. Seen any good movies lately? Or just any movie?

What are we, on a first date? I'm just asking. Have I seen any movies lately? No. I have not been watching any movies. I've been busy, but i have been watching

90 day fiance nice there's new seasons out so that's something they just started the to have a new season of happily ever after and it's got all our favorites on it it's got so many good people so how's big ed doing that's he's on the single life and he's getting pussy really a lot of it well he's got a girlfriend who is very young and she's incredibly beautiful and i don't understand well i don't be right you know yeah but like even off camera you know they're having sex and i just don't get it man there's a lot of things like you know like uh hugh hefner you know how well he had a lot of money and an empire to provide. Big Ed has the Big Ed empire and the stickers.

The stickers of himself. Mm-hmm. You know? He's probably selling those Big Ed t-shirts. He has a tattoo of himself on his leg. He has a tattoo of his Big Ed sticker on his leg. Not as legendary as Steve-O's tattoo of himself on his back. No, see, that's awesome.

Big Ed is just lame. See, that's awesome. Big Ed needs to come on the podcast. Nah. We could probably get him. You want to get Big Ed on here? Not really. Hey, guys.

Oh, oh, oh, Super Mike's awesome. I was watching your guys' stuff, and you guys are pretty mean sometimes. No, just kidding. He's wild, man. Big Ed is truly something else and always will be I'm glad they got him back for another season

same with Colt it's like is Rose a part do we get to see anything about Rose no she's she is out

she's out she wants nothing to do with him that's good yeah very good very good she has a good social media presence

I think Big Ed is so stupid and he lies and he manipulates. Yep. And he's just, he's dumb. He's dumb Big Ed. Short Big Ed. I love he also catfished Rose. He lied about his height.

And then she saw him and she was like, oh. I know. He looks like Humpty Dumpty. He looks like the Mucinex man Or the He looks like the fucking The booger creatures Yeah He also looks like a Russian doll

Like one of those Russian babushka dolls or whatever That you like That grew legs and stuff I'm only dogging on the man's appearance Because he's a shitty person Yeah Well it's nice to know entertainment hasn't changed that much

we're all still you know I don't know trash TV's great apparently there's going to be a new season of oh what was it called the circle which I like the circle I haven't seen it I heard it's good though I enjoyed it I watched all the foreign ones too and I read subtitles because I was like, this is just too fun.

I mean, is it a romance show? No. Some people try to like manipulate others in that way. I do want to check it out. It sounds cool. I know what it, you know what the premise is. I did. I forgot it though.

What is it? It's like, I can't, let's, let's say, I don't know the exact number of people. Let's say 10 people, 10 people live in let's say, I don't know the exact number of people. Let's say 10 people, 10 people live in this place called, I don't know, whatever. It's an apartment complex. And then they can only interact through the circle. So they can either be honest and just create a profile about themselves,

or they can be dishonest and just kind of like use a friend's picture, like just kind of catfish anyone, you know? And so they interact with people only through chats and through like these competitions and so you can actually see each other not until uh when someone gets voted off they have a choice to see one person and so they go visit that one person whoa that sounds sick and sometimes it's a little like uh-oh oh that's awesome you thought they were yeah exactly i like that it was. It was fun. It was fun. Everyone loves Love Island. I haven't seen that.

Neither have I. I'm ready for the Bachelor. Bachelorette to come back. Cause I got addicted. Is the host still a part of it? Didn't he get canned? He got thrown in the john. See ya. Big doo doo on his head. What? Yeah. What'd he do?

Um. It really was, I think, kind of overblown. So there was a girl, the girl that won The Bachelor this season. People found that she went to a super southern antebellum type sorority party, which is obviously not good. But then she was getting canceled pretty hard because Bachelor fans are crazy. And then she apologized for it. And then Chris, I forgot his name.

The guy that hosts The Bachelor since the beginning told people to like him. He kind of defended her and then they kicked him off the show. Huh. So, yeah. Well, who's the host now um nick cannon someone like that i hope it's nick cannon it's it's a black dude um and i don't remember who it is lawrence fishburne i mean we should host the bachelor dude will smith would host the fuck bachelor nation i'm matt and this is ryan it's your boy will smith get jiggy with it man you know will smith doesn't have to curse to sell records oh he curses a lot in bad well i do so fuck him and fuck you too what the f dude

he was in bad boys he drops the fuck bomb in there. Eminem line. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Just making sure you know. Oh, I, trust me. You didn't acknowledge it?

Well, I'm, yeah. You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Do you want me to stop what I'm saying and acknowledge every time you? Yes. I would like that, honestly.

Okay. Because you have been practicing and you don't want your practice to go to waste. Yeah, I mean, when you just ignore it, it just kind of hurts my feelings. know for me it's like a tick it's like i try to i just try to like ignore it out of like just like decency hoping it'll just go away well just i don't want to draw attention to it you know why man if your friend's been practicing hard or something

yeah but the bachelorette is coming back and I want to be on the bachelorette man as the bachelorette yeah put me in a dress dude do me up you can do anything I would look so great

I can't wait until they're not allowed to have sex until the end until there's three people left yeah but do they actually no no they're strict about it

yeah they don't are they you don't have sex with anyone until it's the last three and then and then you can just have but then those three like people you're each given a night

you know it's like oh he's fucking her this night he's fucking her this night it creates an awkward thing because the three people have to live together so then they'll go off for a day and they all know that they fucked they know but they're fucking right now so you'll see the two people the person will come back the next morning and then it's clear they fucking it's really awkward and the next person goes off and then the two

that's so just like emotionally crippling for these people who are like all their whole self worth is involved in how they look and how others perceive them and shit and like that's got to be fucking devastating to these producers the bachelor, the producers of The Bachelor are awful. They will purposely like find someone's ex that they haven't talked to in three years and like accidentally bring them to an event. Oh my god. Accidentally bring them to an event. There was one where this girl dated this

country singer a long time ago and then for the date they booked him as like the singer. That's fucked. And it was coincidence. Oops. Were they like like oh no yeah we had no idea this was happening the producers suck they're awful do they always play it off as like we had no idea or like if uh if someone has like an extreme phobia of heights like extreme like they'll be like all right surprise you're going skydiving today and you don't know

until we're about to get in the plane like type of shit that's why you gotta tell it like you gotta do a little reverse psychology you know it's like what do you hate oh I hate birthday cakes

I hate seven layer birthday cakes they scare the shit out of me I just like phobia I can't explain it hey for today's date we got a seven layer birthday cake

no I hate I hate I hate just one of my biggest fears just stumbling upon a bag of money down at the train tracks is it just a big bag of cash yeah bag of a hundred thousand would you be afraid if you took it

then there'd be people after you like in the movies yeah so I'm really scared of stumbling upon that yeah that would be crazy if uh if a big for today's date you're taking a walk down some train tracks some abandoned train tracks is romantic what's that a hundred thousand dollars cash oh no how am i going to finance this what would you do if you uh if you, let's say you and I are walking down, okay, let's get fully real. You and I are walking down by the creek

or by the train tracks. Overcast day. You and I are walking down some old train tracks in the woods. And we see something but distance, right? Yeah. Like, what's that thing? What's that?

And we go up to it. And it's a big brown sack with a money, a dollar sign painted on it. And we're like, what? We open it up and there's $ big brown sack with a money a dollar sign painted on it and we're like what we open it up and there's a hundred thousand dollars in cash inside what do we do i i give it to the police it's the right thing to do so then they can use it to get better weapons yeah kill more people because when it stays in there for too long without it being uncovered it's the police's business now, right? We found a sack full of money.

See, the problem comes. What if we're getting in the way of the protagonist trying to buy back his daughter? That's the thing. It's like, what if his daughter has been kidnapped? And it's like, you leave $100,000 here in a bag. No one's going to find it. And then you get your daughter daughter back and if there's any funny business she's dead and then like he drops it and like five minutes before the guys show up to pick it up we're like oh what's this and fucking they just kill her he's like i know i put the money there what do you mean hmm if i actually found a briefcase of that much money i don't

know what i would do just because it's like I my biggest fear is that like I. I might ignore it because I feel like someone's looking for that. I'd feel like someone's like if if I'm looking at that money and there's like a like let's say one hundred thousand dollars in there. I feel like someone's looking at it, too. Someone else is looking at it or someone's looking for it. Yeah. Well, there's no way I'm like I'm like, oh, it's probably in my head. Realistically, I'd be like, this is some fucking Ellen prank.

And they're trying to see who would pick up the briefcase. And I'm not going to pick up the briefcase because maybe I'll win the prize that Ellen gives. $10 gift certificate to Chili's? Whoa. A bike lock? An Ellen bike lock? Dude, I wouldn't pick it up. An Ellen Pez dispenser.

Wait, there's no candy. You gotta go buy that separately. Okay, that's sold separately. All right. Also, dude, definitely rinse that out before you use it. It's from China. It's got a lot of plastic chemicals. Dude, but for real, I would leave it because I'm like,

someone's looking for this. Someone's gonna be looking for this money. And if they find out I have it, then I'm going to, because I would just live paranoid, especially if I spend it. And when they come for me and they're like, where is it?

And I'm like, I spent it. Then I'm getting a bullet in my head. You know, I'm just going to be at home one night. And then you'll just write him a check for 100K. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't support organized crime. Just kidding. I support organized crime. Just kidding. I support organized crime hella hard.

Dude, it's fun. It's organized, you know? Yeah. Organized crime is pretty crazy. We should get into it. Like biker gangs? Like the Hell's Angels? Yeah, it's literally like a business, but it's bad. It's a business, but it's a legit business, but it's like bad, bad stuff.

You know? Selling drugs is a legit business. You know's like bad, bad stuff. You know, selling drugs is a legit business. You know, hey, I bought drugs in college. I bought weed from like a sorority chick selling it. I bought, I did that once. The rumors that she had a gun, like a little gun that she kept with her. A little pistol. Yeah, but I never saw it.

A little stripper pistol. No, not a stripper pistol. I think just, I don't know, just a handgun. Yeah, I bought weed from a girl that had a gun too you know caitlin bennett she had a huge ar-15 on her back every time i bought just make sure no funny business yeah mud in her shorts mud in the shorts stunk real bad but uh the weed stunk too so she makes sure no one steals the money she puts it right in there and no one's gonna go digging in her drawers for some for some other that's that's that's the chocolate river at willie wonka there's not too there's not many reasons you would even want to want to go into those drawers even if there wasn't poop

yeah yeah but basically i did i've only i've only ever one had one drug deal in my life and it was i was in columbia years ago and i my my friend was like let's let's buy some weed man i was like really nervous like okay so we went to this uh uh oh what's it called it's off campus at usc but it's like oh yeah you didn't start smoking till you were out here really yeah oh dude i've had a lot of like uh like there's a guy who cleaned the food line floors that would sell me after like after we both got off the clock and stuff i'm not scared in south carolina though because that's a like here we can do it for funny hahas in the videos there i'm gonna go to jail yeah i was always i remember daniel and i would drive

around always paranoid and we would make sure it was like wrapped in plastic that was wrapped in tin foil that was wrapped in saran wrap that was wrapped in tinfoil that was wrapped in saran wrap that was wrapped in more tinfoil that was put in another Ziploc bag that was then put in like some uh just probably like the glove box or something that was also hidden under shit. Nothing? Just a bag of tinfoil

for leftovers when we go to Lizard's Thicket. Lizard's Thicket dude what a gross name for a restaurant Lizard's Thicket it dude. What a gross name for a restaurant. Lizard's Thicket. It's cool. It's a cool name. It has fine food. I've never had it. I heard it's actually really good, though. It's alright. I heard it's good. I'm not blown away by Lizard's Thicket.

Also, the branding is... CC's Pizza on the other hand. The branding, from what I remember from Lizard's Thicket, is black. For a buffet restaurant, I don't... It's very black. Lizard's Thicket is very black? Yeah, dude. It's like a buffet restaurant. I don't, I don't, it's very black. You know, lizards thick. It is very black. Yeah,

dude, it's a very black restaurant. No, the brand, the branding I remember was black, like with the, with the green lizard on it. And it's just,

it's just black, white text. And then the lizard, you know, it's like black is not a very appetizing color for like a buffet style restaurant. It's like, you know, like,

like color psychology type shit where it's like red makes you hungry kind of shit. Like black just doesn't really make me that hungry. Just pitch black. Unless it's a fancy ass restaurant. You're pulling up to like a Bojangles. You look at that sign, you go, mmm. The orange. Oh, Bojangles is orange?

I thought it was like yellow and red. I might be completely wrong. It's warm colors. Warm colors make you, like what fast food restaurant doesn't's warm colors. Warm colors make you... Like, what fast food restaurant doesn't have warm colors in its branding? Arby's? I'm kidding. It has red. But it's also black.

They have the meats. Well, that's the text. The text is okay, but... Yeah. Dude, let's make a restaurant, like a fast food restaurant, where, like, the walls are black, the ceiling, the floor, like, everything. Aren't there restaurants where you just eat in pitch darkness? Mm-hmm.

It enhances your other senses it enhances when you lose one sense it enhances the sense of smell and taste it's probably true but i feel it is true but i probably feel a little goofy doing it in the moment i'd be like oh this is i'd buy into it i'd be like oh i can taste so much more because if you don't kind of placebo yourself you're wasting your time and money it's like i might as well just enjoy it, you know? Even if it's probably placebo effective, I might as well just go with it and have fun. It's like when a guy hands you some pills on the street, you know, if

you feel nothing in the first 10 minutes, you gotta try to work yourself up to have a good time regardless. Or take more. Yeah. Sometimes they're different colors though, so it's a gamble. Well, that's the thing is with pills, especially when you don't know what they are, just take a few. See what happens. And if you don't feel anything within five to ten minutes, take some more.

Yeah. That's usually how it goes. That's actually a good rule of thumb with all drugs. You don't feel anything within the first five to ten minutes? More. Take more. Way more. Like LSD, if you drop acid and you don't feel anything in the

first five minutes try another tab and then after i've been five minutes later if it doesn't double it try two tabs next time even 50 like 15 if 15 minutes up you know just quadruple the take because for some reason you're a strong human and you can take it so that's eight tabs of acid then and then by the time 30 minutes comes you're gonna be having a real bad time you're gonna forget you're you're gonna come out a different person you're gonna forget that uh you're gonna forget what the hell is even going on you're just gonna be sitting there and like i don't feel uh-oh and then everything starts melting everything around you starts just dripping and then like the wicked witch everything becomes a salvador d painting. You know what I'm saying? It becomes an MGMT music video.

But if you're on any type of drugs, then it'll make these ad reads a little more entertaining. Yes. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's in everyday maintenance

and repairs or making dream projects a reality it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps, because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com.

That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a Big Mac, McRab, McFlurry, and a McDouble? Keep it real, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pound of a cheese and flatfish, oh please. Make good as a McMuffin and a large coffee.

A hamburger, cheeseburger, HodgePot, hotcakes. Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2.

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Hopefully somewhat entertaining. I hope people liked it. You know? Yeah. Really hope they enjoyed it. But, yeah. Do as many drugs as you can., when they're too short, life's too short and you only get one.

Yep, exactly. So that's why you should do drugs and then get in your car and drive fast. Exactly. See, when, when you, when you snort, when, when you, when you bang several lines of cocaine, nothing feels better than getting in a sports car and fucking flying down the freeway. I was going to say, you know, the best, the best thing that I'd like to do is on a nice, warm, sunny day, drop a few tabs of acid, set my fucking Porsche and cruise control and just lay on the hood, lay on the hood going 70 baby.

Define a few. A few what? Tabs. What's a few? A few tabs, like six or seven. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. I was going to say six to eight.

Just not, I don't want to overdo it, you know? No, no. Just a light kind of buzz. Yeah. I mean, when you're on the hood, that shit, the breeze, it really feels. Oh, in the middle of, oh. When you're on the LSD, the breeze feels so much better. And all the colors.

The sky is so blue. I want to reach out and touch all the colors, but I can't because then I'll touch the car. I'll lose traction off of the hood and I'll fall off. So I do have to be somewhat careful. Yeah. Well, we like to do that thing in the movie Death Proof where, you know, it's like you ride on the hood. So when you're doing it by yourself, that's fun. But also I do like the days where you and I will slam a fifth of vodka each.

And then we'll do the thing where you get on the hood with the belt, you know. Oh, yeah. And then I'm driving and swimming around. It's so fun. And then we'll do the thing where you get on the hood with the belt, you know? Oh, yeah. And then I'm driving and swimming around really fast. It's so fun. And you have to hang on. It's awesome. It's like you get to go to Disney World without paying absurd prices. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And you get to go a lot. Sorry, Disneyland. Yeah. Well, the roller coasters, they only go like 70 miles per hour. But in my Corvette, when you're on the hood hanging on with the ropes at least 120 minimum oh yeah and but also sometimes when we when we you know after we after we hammer down a fifth of vodka each and have a little bit of a little a little bit of cocaine wink wink uh 120 doesn't

feel that fast you got to go faster so i'm glad that i did get the upgraded engine in my Corvette so I can go like two, 210. That's epic, dude. Yeah, you love it, man. You're screaming and howling with laughter. You are right on that one, buddy. Yeah. Yeah, we should do some heroin after the podcast, actually. Jackson has some.

I already did some this morning. I'm not sure if I want to fucking drop again. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two times in one day always feels a little. I'll just sober up with some with some coke. Yeah, that'll do the trick.

But anyway, yeah. Last episode of the podcast, we had too mad. A man child on that. Yep. Speaking of drugs. Watching TikToks and YouTube in the middle of it. Slamming the microphones together. How was it editing it?

It took me four hours to edit that podcast because, A, the number of things I had to either censor or cut out altogether was just, he says a lot of things. Probably the most we've ever had to. Oh, yeah. He says a lot of things where I'm like, he'll say it. I'm like, dude, I can't keep that in the podcast. Or sometimes like he'll say something something that I normally just cut out. But it's like, because it's in the crucial part of a conversation, I have to keep it in. So I just have to bleep it or put a cartoon sound effect over it.

Yeah, man. He's wild. He's 20 years old. And he's a wild child. Living life. He's living life like every day is his last. Which is the way everyone should live. A lot of people should learn that lesson fast everyone should live like too mad you know after that podcast too mad came over to my house and he got on my couch and immediately

fell asleep and then just slept he did that at uh our friend layton's house too yep and then uh i while he's asleep i had to go to home depot so i was like all right i'll go i had to go get some like paint for the painters that were coming the next day and i'm like okay cool i'll take this chance i come back and he's ordered some pizza four large four large pizzas two orders of breadsticks and some brownies uh from papa john's hey uh-huh wish you were there man because he like there's a lot of pizza left over and then one of the painters that was at my house i had to go get more paint so i'd be gone for 30, 40 minutes. And I was like, hey, if you want, you can take a lunch break right now.

Take this time to go get some lunch. And he's like, hey, I saw you had some pizza in your fridge. And I was like, yeah. He's like, can I have that? I was like, I mean, sure. Go for it. So he ate the pizza. Good for him.

My man even used the last garlic dipping sauce too. Oh, did you tell him it was the last one? No. Did you save him though? I wasn't going to did you tell him it was the last one? No. Did you save him though? I wasn't going to get mad at him, but I was like, damn. Yeah. You know? That's why you got to order more.

I like ordering the spicy garlic dippings. Oh, I order a ton. I order like four extras when I order Papa John's, but too mad ordered. So he didn't get all that extra stuff. He got three pepperonis and one cheese, I think. And I'm not a big pepperoni pizza guy, honestly. I like cheese better than pepperoni. I like having half cheese, half pepperoni.

Pepperoni's just never been my... Especially when the pepperoni's a little crispy. See, that's what I don't like. What? I don't like when the pepperoni's crispy. I like when the pepperoni's thick and soft. Just same with bacon. I don't like crispy bacon very much.

I like thick. I like the pepperoni nice and... Oh, crispy, babe. Ooh. Woo! Woo! Yeah. just same with bacon i don't like crispy bacon very much i like i like the pepperoni nice oh crispy babe oh i'm getting all hot and bothered right now thinking about a pepperoni pizza oh man it's like my tits are sweating are they yeah really why uh just thinking about the pizza it's getting me a little excited i'm perspirating it's uh It's stimulating your erogenous zones? I guess so. Where are all the erogenous zones? Up your ass. I mean, yeah, that's an erogenous zone.

Totally. Dick weed. Where the prostate is. Up your mom's ass too, or so she tells me. My mom doesn't have a prostate. You know, I didn't realize girls didn't have prostates until I was like 20. What?

Yeah. Your mom has a prostate. No, she doesn't, dude. Then why did she ask me to stick it up her bum so much? And wiggle myself around? She knows that you like it. Man, it is tighter. Oh, yeah.

Grainier, for sure. Oh, yeah. Sometimes get some surprise streaks in there oh a little mudslide alert uh oh california mudslide yeah but you know you just gotta you gotta you gotta take it as it comes or well she takes it as i come yeah i was literally about yay you and we're completing each other's uh finishing each other's phrases I was hoping you'd reference arrested development and say sandwiches no I hate that shit man

what do you mean you don't like arrested development no it's everyone it's always sandwiches man we finish each other's sandwiches I'm sure that was in Frozen yeah that sounds like and we finish each other's

someone says sandwiches yeah not quite almost sounds like a disney channel joke which i love disney channel jokes you love disney channel yeah i used to you don't anymore you don't have it disney channel anymore i wouldn't recognize it no i don't i don't pay for it's all about vision it's all about like influence like now the whole thing is it is like the shows are about like becoming an influencer yeah shit like that well I'm guessing and from the little things I've

seen well I mean iCarly was the big one that started that out she wanted to be she was a she was one of the first influencers on television yeah until Neville got his way with their Neville Neville little fucking bastard little their... Neville. Neville. Little fucking bastard. Little bitch.

Greasy little hands and stupid little fucking haircut. Stupid son of a fucking bitch. I love seeing the events that Fred goes to, Freddie goes to, the actor who plays Freddie, where it's like it's his...

He's a big Christian, right? It's like signings and shit. I don't know. There's like signings and shit and it has his like, what is it? His profile shot. Oh, he has it like he sells his headshot? Yeah, his headshot.

He doesn't sell it, but like it's like part of like with whatever his name is. Nathan Kress. Nathan Kress. It's like, oh. We need headshots done, man. We need like Hollywood headshots done. We don't really have any legitimate headshots. I will say that there's sometimes where an Uber driver or whatever will have a headshot

because they're from a time way back when. I've been handed headshots by Uber drivers. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just in case you need a... They'll be on a business card. You need a buddy.

It's always like like the camera's kind of angled up and they're like looking up a little bit and like their face is super airbrushed and the background's all blurred i want to get professional headshots done because what serious photos are there of you and i but i just want to be like the most inappropriate um marketing what's it called when you're uh with a bunch of influencers you're intermingling and you're networking networking the most uh inappropriate form of networking uh that i've run into was uh the the police officers who showed up to the scene after uh our friend daniel passed away um i remember one of them was telling me how i could actually rent him out and we could use him in our youtube

videos and he gave me his business card i forgot and i sat there and i took it and i was like thanks thanks man oh thank you very much hey man i'm pretty sure i didn't say anything i i think i just looked at it like looked at him and i him and I went back to looking at the floor or something. I really want to be in some YouTube videos. I actually was like, damn. I think that's the moment where I was like, I'm in LA. This is what LA is all about, baby. Hey, man, you got any chance to network, man.

You got to be on that grind. When's the next time I'm going to see this kid? You know, he has a YouTube channel. Next time I see him, he's going to be on the big screen. I feel bad for him. I mean, it seems like a tough day. The thing is, if I don't do this kid you know he has a YouTube channel next time I see him I feel bad for him I mean it seems like a tough day but the thing is if I don't do this now then when exactly

and the thing is you know this is what stands between me and the big screen maybe maybe this is it maybe this is my big break so ridiculous redonkulous more like it's just hilarious because that's something out of a show that's something out of like Curb Your Enthusiasm that paints LA in the typical LA light but it did it just did just happen that's just how life is that's something out of a show that paints LA in the typical LA light

but it just happened that's just how life is that's just how LA is LA really do be like that dude he caught you down bad in 4k he did I don't know if their body cams were on why are cops allowed to turn their body cams off

to have some fun Ron. Why are they? Why are cops allowed to turn their body cams off? To have some fun. Oh, I love that. Like, you know, some boys just want cops. Boys just want to have fun. Oh, boys play with their guns. Oh, they really want. And cops also support their guns. That's all they really want. And cops also support these ad reads. Hi, do you have guided tours today?

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the world and mix it with the other and you can shop that whole world right here in our aisles. Find it all here with more ways to save at Real Canadian Superstore. Yeah, it's crazy that the police supported all of those. They endorse all those brands. And also those brands endorse the police. Yeah.

Specifically the LAPD and the NYPD. Yeah. Two of the best police task forces in America. God bless them. The least amount of corruption. All the corruption's done now. That was back. Oh.

That was way back when. When they got like two thirds of the police force. Yeah. There's no way there's any corruption now. We fixed. We fixed all the problems. They got rid of all the corrupt officers and did not replace them with anyone corrupt. So it's all good.

Here they go again. There he goes. Oh, it's raining raining is it raining still yeah look damn i didn't see the moon last night i saw it trending on twitter my dad told me to check it i was like a pink moon a pink moon a big big old pink moon i've been going to bed earlier than usual i've been going to bed in between like 12 and 130 30. Oh, it feels good. Right? Yeah. Usually I, I would stay up in between like two and four something. Yeah. I usually go to bed between midnight and two now. Last night I did stay up until a little bit past four because I felt bad. Naughty dude. Really bad because I went, when my alarm went off this morning, I was like, already, I still felt just as tired as if I'd gone to bed at midnight, though.

Yeah. Well, you're learning your lessons. Yeah. Valuable life lessons. I spent very late at my place building a TV stand that I didn't finish. What's going to go on it? The TV's actually not going on the TV stand. Seems like.

The TV stand's going to be for like plants and consoles and stuff. So it's a plant stand. Yeah, I guess. So it's a media stand. It's like a credential. So it's not holding your TV. No, the TV is going to be mounted. So what makes it a TV stand?

The TV is going to be mounted on the wall. Because, you know, it's like I always just had my TV just sitting. All my TVs I've ever owned, all 50 of them. Just sitting there. Just sitting. And it's like i always just had my tv just sitting all my tvs i've ever owned all 50 just sitting there just sitting and it's like wait a second i can make it look epic i can buy a mount for real cheap from best buy and then get some guy on task rabbit that's stronger than me just to mount it in five minutes and who knows how the you know putting together stuff would work because i actually suck at that kind of shit and i i like i couldn't mount the tv i just know i'm gonna fuck it up and it's gonna be crooked and then it's gonna but it's not gonna be crooked enough to warrant me undoing the whole thing but it's gonna be just crooked enough where i'm gonna keep noticing it and be like like when you like i hate when i fucking

mount something on the wall and like it's done like i've mounted it but i'm like it's just it's like it's like most of the time i won't notice it. That's why you get those Velcro strips. You can just easily and replace it a little bit. Some things are too heavy for that. Like I'm mounting a, I got this little like,

I don't know what it's called. It's this, it's this old wooden shelf type thing that I'm putting in my bedroom. Oh, like a, okay,

like putting shelves in. It's like a shelving. Hey, maybe it makes your place look a little more funky and goofy. Like it's out of the Harry Potter universe. Yeah, it's like a shelving hey made it maybe it makes your place look a little more funky and goofy like it's out of the harry potter universe yeah it's by choice yeah you know it's like you gotta own it at that point hey man this thing's crooked don't touch it don't touch that picture frame that's crooked on purpose that's by design exactly i paid an interior

designer a hundred thousand dollars to come do this some people that's that's a that's got to be a form of decoration is putting things in uneven spots oh yeah you know break up the evenness man yeah got a fucking interior design it's all about getting funky i want a place designed so that i never get comfortable like walking around in it like so it's always like i have to like be careful and traverse like the furniture is in just a really inconvenient position. And, uh, the AC is always on a little too high or a little too low.

So it's like, it's either no AC and I just have a little ceiling thing I can open up for a breeze or to let the hot air out. It's, it's either always too hot or too cold. There's no, like the thermostat skips. So it's like, it's going to be like in the,

it's like 61 degrees and you try to turn it up to at least like 68, 69. And once it gets to like 63, it skips to like 85. And it's like, oh God damn it. Yeah. Carson keeps pranking me every time he comes over. He turns my thermostat to 85 degrees. And the heater works pretty well.

Because I'll be like building something and he'll be like sitting at the table and then all of a sudden I'm like why the fuck am I sweating so much just doing this little and I'm like oh the heater's on it's 85 fucking degrees yeah or then it'll turn it down to like 59 and I'm like

I had a friend that would we had those trailers like at our middle school like the outside classes were in trailers. And I just remember like one day before leaving, my friend just like turned it down to like the lowest the thermostat would go. And he did it all the time. And the teachers got so upset. It was like coming in and be like fucking freezing cold. My bad.

And also probably cost a lot of money for the school. Oh, yeah. And then it's like. They're already not. That's not your paycheck. They're already underfunded. Yeah, my mom. almost done teaching good almost done finally gets to stop with all these jake paul loving goons yeah her kids are a couple of goons i'll tell you that and i ain't talking he has two students yeah cut they're a couple of goons yeah

it's just a pair of goons just a pair of goons, yeah. It's just a pair of goons. Just a pair of goons. Two asshole grown men, actually. They're just these two goons that she teaches. How to read, how to write, how to arithmetic. My father owns King Street. You may walk on King

Street, but what? I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, the bathroom. But I do miss Mama Kim. I thought you were going to say, because Mama Kim's on King Street, But, boy. I have to go to Mama Kim's. Oh, the bathroom. But I do miss Mama Kim's. I thought you were going to say, because Mama Kim's on King Street, so I thought you were going to say when you go home, you're going to have to go to Mama Kim's. I'm going to try to see if I can make it to Mama Kim's. That would be great. You want to go potty?

I wish it was a potty, but I'm going to have to burst out some solids real quick. Hey, well, you know, actually, I think we might be good on this podcast. You want to use the outro music this time or you want to just... Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need

to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit

Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.