supermegashow - EP 25 - Madea (w/ Ding Dong and Oney)

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a Big Mac, McRab, McFlurry, and a McDouble? Keep it rare, I need a Happy Man, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink, one extra ice, and McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice, junior chicken will be firing a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder with cheese, a flatfish, oh please. Make grittas, a McMuffin, and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, HodgePot, hotcakes, vanilla cone shake, and a hot bar sundae. welcome to the super mega cast i'm ryan i'm matt and we have two very guests here we got chris o'neill and ding dong guys thank you for tuning in to this one. We've got a lot of fun things to talk about that we've planned out ahead of time.

So let's get right into it. Chris, what do you want to talk about? What you put on before. Each time. Let's talk about your cerebral palsy smile. Oh, yeah. I was looking at a picture of Walter Jr. and he kind of reminds me of Matt. Okay, so every time I talk, I talk out of one side of my mouth.

The right side more than the other. It's his handsome smile. It's not a handsome smile. It's like something's wrong. It's like a circus smile. No, I looked it up and it's like some palsy or something. Handsome smile palsy. You're just being humble.

Oh, it's... I know you all think I look great. It's... No, it's called Bell's palsy or something. It's called you smell's palsy. Chris, come on, dude. Yes. It's called...

Fucking ride out the gate with the roast. Farewell. What if I legitimately have some minor palsy or something? Like, if I try to talk... You're shaking right now. You're actually being serious. If I try to talk out out the left side of my mouth. It comes out all weird Right right right now right now. I'm trying to talk to you I just think it's because the way your face is structured

Like why would one side of my mouth because you're one side of the face isn't isn't like the other side of the face You can also have like a crooked jar or something yeah You're just like Sonic the Hedgehog. Like if I look at, if I objectively look at my face, my jaw doesn't seem crooked. It's just like. You sound fine! You look fine and you sound fine! Yeah. These people in the comment section, they go, Matt,

you look, he's handsome. You're handsome, Matt. No, I'm just doing. You sound pretty. I don't need a validation. It's like that girl on Facebook. No, you don't. You're great, Matt. You have a good it's like it's like that girl it's like that girl on facebook you're great matt you have a good smile good voice really shitty opinions on twitter but i look past it matt why do people on twitter dislike you because i because he's mean and yeah i bully everyone i'm mean i'm i'm hashtag brat watson he juts his opinions out there

where they're not welcomed. No, every time I tweet at someone, I get like 30 people with Let's Player profile pictures just jumping on being like, Matt, you're gay. So I was like, I made a joke like, if you have a Let's Player as your profile picture, change it. And God, it set off. Was it a joke because all you typed was if you have a let's play I'm sarcastic joke. It's a fucking joke Social experiment guys everything is a joke, but but yeah, I well I was also you know

I I wouldn't say it's really a complaint either because you didn't complain about it all you said was you know I voiced a few opinions. I just said I said hey I just don't like fiveights at Freddy's either. Most of our fans are crying out of just suppressing their frustration and not being able to interject into what we're saying. Okay, here's the thing. I don't have a problem if you have a Let's Player or a YouTuber as your profile picture on Twitter,

but it just so happens that almost everyone that does spams me every time I tweet something, and it makes me look bad. Essentially, that's... You're fucking making me look bad! I'm just going to say it. That's the tweet something And it makes me look bad Essentially that's You're fucking making me look bad I'm just gonna say it And it's embarrassing You're not Matt Watson I'm Matt Watson

God but that's it And then basically like I voice my opinion on that matter And everyone's like you're a bully you're a brat And it's like okay Jesus Christ I'm sorry Hey Chris How'd you like the Medea movie? Oh God Oh, yeah, so we all went to see the new Medea movie not ding-dong. I didn't well fuck

Okay, what are you gonna do tonight? I? Want to go I want to go see another movie. I don't wanna see Medea. There's nothing in theaters. There's Doctor Strange I want to see that we all agree to disagree that the new Medea movie was worse than Ghostbusters It was it was busters. I disagree because I new Madea movie was worse than Ghostbusters? It was much worse than Ghostbusters. I disagree. It was very bad. Because I didn't see it. It was so fucking boring.

Fousey Tube was a main character. Here, Ryan, tell us about the condensation on the mirrors. Oh, yeah. Okay, so there was condensation on the mirror, as Chris so keenly described. And it was spelling out, what was it? It was like, get your fat ass out of here to the fat black lady.

Yeah, get your fat ass. He was trying to scare her out like a ghost was riding in. And so she goes, oh, Lordy, and then books it out of the bathroom. Oh, Lordy. The right quote from the movie.

Or something like that. It's whatever. And so basically, later they go into this church and it's the priest's daughter and she's like, yeah, the college boys, it was just all a prank. They hacked into the church and it's the priest's daughter and she's like yeah the the college boys it was just all a prank they hacked into the tv in the bathrooms they hacked into the

plumbing they hacked into the plumbing so basically it was just hacking they hacked into the mirror condensation oh ryan you you act like you've never done that no i'm what you act like you've never hacked into a mirror some plumbing no you're. You're not even good at it. You're not even good at me. Okay, I was genuinely surprised when we walked into the theater and it was only white people. You were terrified of all the white people? No, I did not say terrified. I said surprised.

It was Halloween and we went to go see the Madea movie and I walked into the theater and it was only white people. We're in California. We're not in South Carolina. It's not a 50-50 ratio of black and white anymore. That's true. There's a bigger melting pot here. I'm just surprised. It was just like

Did it scare you? No. Why would it? No. If you didn't laugh at the Madea movie while there was like 60 buff black dudes laughing their asses off, would you be worried? I'd probably laugh. I'd laugh too. We've heard guns cocking every time a joke was told why do you that's not that's racist

no this was about the theater with all the white people in it he wasn't talking about right ding dong okay they were probably yeah yeah yeah i i don't know about ryan but chris and i we laughed at probably four parts in the movie and it was all because of one character played by did you look over at me did i laugh no no i just well i did like sarcastically like when it was a joke that like missed should i be happy i wasn't there because when we saw sausage party i was this wasn't get up this you it was not bearable like i would even as a fun even like ghostbusters was funny because it was dumb it was dumb entertainment it was like dumb to make fun of i walked out of though for 10 minutes so what i have actually been able to sit through no i don't

i i don't think i think we were all kind of like i'd walk out if the other two walked out but the other two never walked out angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. I fucking said it at one point. I was like, should we stay? And you guys were just like, yeah. Then he looked at me and then I was like, I don't want to be the one to cause us to go out of here. Same. I was like, you know, we could stay.

So we all just fucking tortured each other with indecision. Halfway through, Chris leaned over and was like, why did we do this to ourselves? No, he looked over and was like, God, this sucks. We still have 45 minutes left. The movie's almost two hours. I know. It's almost two hours of nothing but unfunny improv. Every scene goes on for like way too long. Yeah, that's the thing.

A scene should last two minutes, but Medea and her stupid fucking friend don't shut up about fucking people and stealing from children. She pees a little in her pants, Chris. That's pretty funny. The funniest part of the movie is when the fucking old black dude is like, I'll fucking beat the shit out of you. He's talking to a 16-year-old girl. It's like, that is cool, okay? I only laughed at his character

because I thought that he had a few funny one-liners, but everything else was awful. And Raven-Symoné was incredibly cringy every time she spoke. Who's Raven-Symoné? Was that Raven-Symoné? That was Raven-Symoné. It's gotta be, right? It was Raven-Symoné.

She's the one that was like, That one. That one. The little lady? Yeah. You're right. Medea seems like a more sympathetic character, though, than anyone in Ghostbusters, because I know if she got a lot of wontons, she would eat them.

She wouldn't complain. She wouldn't be complaining. How many times did Medea punch someone in the movie? She punched the clown in the... Spoiler alert. She punched the clown in the beginning. The clown? Yeah, it pops up out of a box.

She got raped by white people a lot in that movie. She got what? What, Chris? People kept, like, squeezing her tits over her. Oh, yeah, you're right, actually. She got raped by white people a lot in that movie. She got what? What, Chris? People kept like squeezing her tits over her. Oh yeah, you're right actually. She asked him to. She unbuttoned her dress and was like, touch him. That's molestation. That's not rape. She got molested and then everyone was like, ugh, wait, it's real.

And she was like, do it again. And she got her tits out and everyone was like, ugh, ugh. And it was really unfunny. Remember that one part where the guy is in the bedroom and he's like, wait a minute, you're 16? No, 17? Oh yeah, that was it. And she was in the bedroom, and he's like wait a minute You're 16 no 17. Oh, yeah, was it and she's like yeah, and he's like This is wrong yeah, they were at a frat party in this guy's in a bedroom And he found out that a girl is only 17 he's like wait you're 17. That's illegal many screamed in the rain Oh, but it was like I don't let my parents hear me kind of scream that you record in your room. He was like,

and he like ran out of the room really awkwardly. Wait, can we talk about FouseyTube? Why? No, because like, when I saw him in the trailer, I thought that he just had a cameo. And then when we were on the way to the movie, I asked like, what'd you guys think? And you guys were like, oh, he'll probably only have like one minute of lines. He was the first

person to appear in the movie, the first person to have dialogue. He's in the first and last scene of the movie. He was a main character in the movie. Yeah, he was. And I was... His acting was appalling. No, it was cool. Whose acting wasn't appalling in the movie? Tyler Perry? Who played her friend? Who played

the big friends? She was the one real old black woman. Everyone else was either a man playing a black woman or a young woman playing a black woman or a young woman playing a black woman. A young woman? How about that? That's literally what the casting is. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the cast.

You're really up in arms, aren't you? He's just wanting to get in a fight tonight. She's on Facebook and she's using a YouTuber avatar. How would you feel about that? Would you be upset? She's tweeting at me saying daddy fist me

Whenever I respond to somebody Oh lurd Okay if you went to the movie theater and Smiley was showing and Madea was showing which one would you go to? You have to see one Fucking Smiley, Madea was horrible But I know Smiley's horrible. I said this. Didn't Madea feel like a holiday special on Nick at Night

that just was supposed to be 20 minutes and then they'd be like, here's the extended hour and a half long cut. It's the same problem that happened with like, did you ever see the Accutane Hunger Force movie? No. It just felt like an episode and it drags and drags and drags. And same with that like Stewie Griffin movie. There was a Stewie Griffin movie? It just feels like it. Yeah, it just feels like an episode and it drags and drags and drags. And same with that, like, Stewie Griffin movie. There was a Stewie Griffin movie? It just feels like it.

Yeah, it just feels like an episode that just drags and drags and drags. Because it's not structured like a movie. It's just like a really long episode. Okay, like, and I'll be honest, okay? Unpopular opinion here once again tonight. I know what you're about to say. Dude, are you the unpopular puffin? Wait, what do you think I'm going to say?

You're about to say, I liked the other Madea movies. The other Madea movies aren't that bad. They're actually quite funny, goal. You're not going to say that, are you? Well, I was going to say something along the lines of, never mind. Yeah, you were going to fucking say it. He was going to fucking say it.

Say it. What were you going to say, Matt? I have, there have been. Say it! It has been years, but there have been Madea movies in the past that I have enjoyed when I watched them. Maybe looking at them through who I am as a

person today, I might not like them anymore, but I watched them with my mom and I... With your mom? Your mom's just a racist. She laughs at the fucking black people. That's what my dad says. Like subhumans. That's not why she laughs at them.

Look how goofy and funny they are. But I feel like that's part of the appeal to Madea. Like a lot of the white people in the theater laughing at these goofy black people. Well, yeah, that's why. I mean, a lot of like when I went to church, a lot of like the congregation, like just the white women, the older white women, they loved Madea movies. Like even in our fucking. I think the most popular demographic is like middle aged to older white women they're not like us at all

it's so loud it's like when I go to a restaurant they're just like how I thought they'd be like let's spit on them your mom hates them no my mom really likes the Madea movies

What about them? What has she said to you that she likes about them? You think that him and his mom had like Really big conversations What did you like about this one? If they've seen a ton of these movies I'm sure she said offhand Why she appreciates them I couldn't tell you

She likes the characters and the humor The caricatures My I'm sure. My mom is going to call me after this podcast. It's just going to say, you made me out to be a racist. Fuck you, you old bitch. I love you, mom. You dirty old slut. Jeez, Chris, I'm going to put my mom on the phone with you tomorrow.

Super glue that thing shut, bitch. There was a point when my mom was cradling me in her arms as a child. And you were sucking on her nipple. She was just spitting on your face. And now it's come to this. She was doing that thing where she'd spit a little and suck it back up. Just to test to see how close she could get to spitting on her own child. She was wearing too much makeup, so when I touched Matt's face, a little bit of makeup came off.

We're making my mom out to be a monster. A racist, horrible whore. Do you think she conceived you? Do I think she conceived me? Do you think she had you just to have a friend to go see Madea with because nobody else did? My dad doesn't like Madea movies. Well, there you go.

How old were you when she stopped cradling you spitting lipstick onto your face? 12 Then your dad started doing it He started wearing lipstick He was he was like in a fucking silence of the lambs Why'd fuck me so hard? Does he say that in silence of the lambs? Come here, son. Got a little present for ya. God, my parents hate me, dude.

Every fucking video turns out like just shitting on my parents. Okay, let's turn it around. I almost threw up. It's cause you say something defensive about it and you get- This is why you get into fights on Twitter, too! You shouldn't be blocking people! I'm not getting into fights on- You should mute them! I blocked one person, and I unblocked them, and everyone was like, Wow, just- Look how odd-edged you are!

He's all- Once you went to Twitter... Listen, listen! I only blocked one! Only one! It's been a rough night, guys. I've had a rough day. All right? It's been stressful.

It's been stressful. I've been fighting with kids on Twitter. God, what a stressful day. Oh, baby. Oh. There's people in Syria, like, fighting for their lives. And I'm over here like, I'm on edge. I got in a fight with kids on

Twitter with Jacksepticeye profile pictures yeah there's a guy getting beheaded right now as we record this there is and ISIS is filming it in beautiful HD they have some good I'm gonna get on a list for that but they have good production they should have a Patreon

Chris you're gonna come to us afterwards and say cut that off no I had to cut out a good bit of this podcast my name is Patreon. Chris, you're going to come to us afterwards and say cut that out? No. I had to cut out a good bit of this podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm sorry. Just a bully, Chris. I'm sorry. That was pretty accurate. Hey, Ryan, okay, I'll do a laugh and you do a laugh, okay?

What do you mean? I'll do your laugh and then you do your laugh and we'll see who can pick it out. Okay. Okay. I can't stop it! God damn it! Fuck. I'm sorry. That's pretty funny. Hurt my feelings. My ego!

Wow. You're right, this isn't fair. Let's go back to talking about Twitter. So anyway, who have you been arguing with now? How old? Eight? Nine? Twelve? Okay, hypothetical.

You tweeted out that you hate syncing up audio and someone says, well, isn't that your job? Why do you get on here and whine every day? What's your response? I wouldn't respond to that normally, but if I had to... I me block me you fuck you trash you fucking trash no i can do it if i block them it would give them the what they wanted right he changes his avatar but you updating your status 10 000 times after the right you were defending me i am defending you but i'm not saying that what you're doing is helping you or not helping you.

I think when you post more about it, it's going in the opposite direction. You were the one on Twitter messing with him. You're trying to get him to stop. I just think that you just say your piece and just quit. Or delete your tweets like I do. I don't want to delete my tweets

afterwards because then people just think that you're weak. Matt, I sent you a funny picture. We are weak. I sent you a funny picture every week. You should respond with those pictures. Yeah. You're right, Chris. Just retweet a bunch of pictures of gorillas

and never tweet anything else ever again. Matt, what was the picture I sent you this week, Matt? What was it? I don't... Let me check. I don't remember. We've got to talk about this picture. Don't check.

Don't check. You're going to see the little kids. What? He's going to see the little kids tweeting at him. I don't let me check. I don't remember we got to talk about this picture. Don't don't check you're gonna You're gonna see the little kids what he's gonna see the little kids tweeting Chris was sending them little kids Hold on Chris Chris All right, I'm out of here. What's up Chris? All right, you sent me. Hey, why don't you sit down Chris? Here Chris. Why don't I take a seat it's a picture

of a dog with milk being poured in his mouth this is mickey mouse with i don't know what falfa here i don't know what that is it's his ear being rendered from the side it's so much more funny now it's a facebook chat screenshot of a guy saying, you want a picture of my chest hair? Someone saying, I don't even know you. And then a fat guy with his shirt off. That's a good one. It's Patrick Starr with Homer Simpson's face. I like the caption.

And it says, teacher, why are you smiling? Me, nothing. Me, in my mind. And then it's Patrick Starr with Homer Simpson's face. I love that picture That's it Why aren't you tweeting those out? I can I'll change my Twitter ways, alright

I'll stop baiting people I'll stop getting in fights on Twitter with people Alright, I'll stop egging people on To respond and everything I'm done, alright Consider this Consider this my reformation, okay?

Matt. What? Matt! Chris. That was Matt. Chris, you're making tooth sounds with your mouth. That's not me. Okay. Yeah, sure. I'm out of here. Ryan's sick. I'm sitting next to him. I'm not sick. I'll fucking' spit it all over my face!

You don't want any ding dong? No. It's tangerine though. Oh, it's burning my hangnails! Get on the microphone. I got it on my fuckin' jeans. Here, Ryan. That's why I don't want it. It's leaking everywhere. It smells really nice. It smells amazing! I want a smell! It smells great!

You're making me squeeze out the rest- Ah, fuck! God! I closed the cap and it just sprayed into my fucking eye. That's pure alcohol. It got it in my mouth. Are you feeling drunk? That hand sanitizer's not worth the effort, mister.

There's a bottle of just rubbing alcohol over there if you'd rather have that thing gone. You can just rub that on your face. You Oh my god. It was just regular alcohol. You alright? Yeah. I'm just I need I'm not hydrated so like I'm dry heating every now and then. Why are you you're sick you need hydration. Make your best vomit noise. If I do I'm gonna throw up.

No. Do it. Do it. Do it. I can't I need a burp. Remember I need a burp to really get the good one out. Ryan if I bring you a trash can can you do your best vomit sound? No. I don't have a big burp ready. I always need my big burps. Ryan! I got- Chris, I got you this weekend with my fake vomit sound. This is the only fucking-

You flinched away like a little bitch, Chris! I don't know! I'm so gay! I don't know! Jesus! Ryan, listen, when is the next fucking time you will have the chance to vomit into a bag live on your fucking podcast? It's true. He's got you on that one.

It's true. That is true. Go get a bag! Do it. Will you vomit on the podcast for us? I'll try. Okay, do it. Do it.

You know I'm terrified of vomit, Ryan. Yeah. We're gonna have to move away. Please do it. Well, even more reason to do it. Yeah, but then we have this trash bag filled with vomit in the- It'll be worth it! Put it in Vernon's chair.

No one sees it. They just hear it for all they know. It could be fake. I'd rather throw up on video than just it be audio. We'll record it and put it on top of the podcast on YouTube. Okay, yeah. See, there's a good idea. What you do is you drive your camera phone into the bag of vomit.

Let's do it. Get a GoPro attached. Yeah, do it. We could use the new GoPro drone. Is that out yet? Yeah. Let's do it. Get a GoPro attachment. Yeah, do it. We could use the new GoPro drone. Is that out yet? Yeah, there's a GoPro. It's like a foldable drone. Isn't there one in there?

Not the drone, I don't think, is it? They have a drone with a camera in there. I didn't know it had a camera on it. It's a little piece of shit. That's a shitty old drone. It looks like one you'd get at like an airport kiosk. Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's not a good drone. It was like $15. Vomit! Vomit! Vomit! Vomit! Vomit! Come on, Ryan. What are you, a pussy? What am I supposed to vomit into right now? My mouth. Make your shirt like a bag, like you gotta own something.

I'm good. No, you're not. And then when you're done, you can rinse your mouth and vomit. I'll get you a bag if you do it. I can't say that I'd do it. I could try. Oh, okay. I'm gonna get you a bag. Yeah, get him a bag. Get him a bag. Oh my god. Okay, so welcome to the podcast everybody. This is the barf podcast. This is the first barf segment on the podcast. Are you ready for this?

It won't be the last either. Every episode from this point on. We're gonna bring on special guests to do some vomiting. And we try to trick them to open their mouth and then you hit the back of their throat. I'm gonna go grab a coke or something. If you actually are afraid of vomit, now would be a good time to turn off the podcast.

Don't warn them. Ah, shit. Are we really doing this? I don't know if it's gonna happen. Try all your hardest. It just hit me. The fear just hit me. Try with all your heart. No. I'm terrified of vomit.

I need to smell this. No, no! Ah! Oh! I'm terrified of- Oh god! I need to like smell this like really- No no no no no! Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! No no no no no.

Ah! Ah! Oh! I'm so fucking scared! There's nothing- there's nothing in my stomach. I'm so fucking scared! I'm hocking up big fucking things I can't. I can't get a bunch of liquid up. One more.

Yeah, one more. One more for us. One more. It's like sliming out. God. Sliming out. Oh, no. My heart is pounding.

Three, two, one. Oh, God. Hello, ladies. Please subscribe. Yeah, guys, please subscribe to Super Mega and Oni Plays. You tell I'm trying. I'm shaking and my eyes are watering. We're done. No, do one more. Don't make him do one more. Do a promo. I tried. I don't think there's enough flick to it. Go Super Mega. I tried. I don't think there's enough liquid in my stomach.

Go super mega and go super... You give us a little podcast promo? He's done. Leave him alone. You can dispose of that. I tried. I really tried. You can give her the old Cosby sweater. It's when you eat a bunch of colored fruit cereal and then vomit it all over your partner's chest. Cosby.

Colored cereal. Colored cereal, not as in... What is wrong with you? say colored? Cosby. Colored cereal. Colored-colored cereal not as in- What is wrong with you? Not because Bill Cosby's colored, just because- First you go to- first you go to Medea to be racist, and now you're starting with this. No, I- you take- What has Bill Cosby ever done? You're twisting my world to- What? I don't know. Hello, I'm Bill Cosbo. He did Fat Albert?

He did do Fat Albert, and he did Lil' Bill. See, people, why are you mad at him? He brought us so much joy. He did Lil' Bill. Yeah, Lil' Bill is about- Why do you think it's called Lil' Bill? I thought it was just a fucking black kid called Bill. It's Lil' Bill Cosby. Of course he did Lil' Bill. Fuck of course he did Lil' Bill. And then teenage Bill Cosby is in Fat Albert. Am I supposed

to assume that every black kid called Bill is based on Bill Cosby? Yes. You should assume every Bill Cosby product has Bill Cosby in it. I didn't know it was his product. Why? Chris named one black fictional cartoon character named Bill that's not created by Bill Cosby. I almost threw up again.

Please. Uh, Bill Smith. Bill Nye the Colored Guy. Bill. Dude, there has to be one. Yeah, go ahead. ahead Yeah we're waiting If you give Bill from King of the Hill blackface Well he's not black then is he

He's masquerading It's so easy to get the paint bucket tool in Photoshop And make that happen Billy Bob Who's Billy Bob See you can't do it Chris He used to date Angelina Jolie. Really?

In her bad girl days. Really? Billy Bob Thornton? Yeah, she also hates John Voight, who is her dad. Are you excited for Bad Santa 2? No. He looks hilarious. The little fat kid grew up, now he's a big fat kid.

They got the little midget dude. I want to watch this movie. Did you say midget? I'm sorry. What is with you? It's little people. Man with dwarfism. No. It's little people, man. You want to watch this movie. Did you say midget? What is with you? It's little people. Man with dwarfism. No! It's little people. They call them hobgoblins now.

God. They call them foul gnomes. Oh, Mr. Hobgoblin. Foul gnomes. Come here, foul gnome. Spit my shoe shine, please. That's their purpose to society? Oh, man.

That's good. Sorry, I'm still recovering a little bit. Take a breather, Ryan. Sorry we did that, Ryan. No, I was actually... You made this the best one? I thought this would be a big moment because he's afraid to throw up. And if I could throw up on a podcast in front of him...

And I love to throw up. So it's a good pairing. You did it close enough. You saw me. I was scared. Is that going to beep? It's going to beep in about a minute. Oh no. The timer's going to go off.

That's good. Let it. Why? Because I don't want it to. We can just be talking and go off. It's going to beep regardless because I'm about to do this. Whoops. Is that what it does?

There we go. Whoops. Come on. Exit. There we go. Whoops. You know, exposure therapy is the best way to overcome a fear. What if you fear death? I don't have an answer for you. Are you telling people to go kill a lot of people? No, not at all. Maybe go visit a morgue

or something. Or go to r slash watch people die. You could do that too, but that's not for kids, Ryan. Are you recommending Why? Are you recommending Am I supposed to be giving out kid recommendations? Go to bestscore.com

That's the one said, like, I don't know. I'm an 11 year old. I'm afraid of death. What do you recommend? I don't know. A book about, like, Dia de Muerto? I don't know a book about like dia de muerto i don't know about what what oh dia de muerto i thought you were just mumbling kids don't read is it muerto or muerto right muerto muerto muerto i don't know

dead i'm a four-year-old who's afraid of death. What do you recommend? You can't comprehend the concept. Yes, you can I had a pet butterfly that died I remember in kindergarten when I showed up and we're looking at the goldfish in the tank and one of the kids was really happy Watching the goldfish. I told them that it's going to die eventually I said it's like sleeping for a long time because you didn't understand the concept of death exactly You just stand it you can understand at that age Okay, so what's the question Did you kill his parents

If I was a four year old and I was afraid of death What would you recommend to me A doctor a psychologist A therapist Why he's four years old right I'm four years old Oh sorry twitter Just contact Matt Watson

That's true twitter is probably the best place to go for everything. If you're four years old, yeah. People, if you want to yell at celebrities directly, can I recommend Twitter? It's a great place. It's the closest way to communicate. Are you calling Matt a celebrity? Kids are supposed to know about death. The opposite.

If you have a kid that's not afraid of death, then they'll just run out on the street and get run over. Matt, you look... You look so sad. All kids know about death I just We're having a moment here You know what dude Stop stop

They called you Brat Watson But it's not right Maybe I am No you're not Brat Watson You're Splat Watson Chris this is like reading a fan fiction This is like a live reading You're not you're not bratwats. You're splat wats. You're not bratwats Chris this is like reading a fanfiction. There's like a live reading your rat watch I I lean over what is with that? I see people picture like post pictures of like disgusting looking rats and then like a side picture of you

They're calling you a rat no because they don't like you it's because my name rhymes with a rat It's that's it's Matt because it's people that don't like you that do it. Yeah, I saw it today They were calling me. They're calling me a dirty rat and i'm like okay that make what the fuck is up with your following i i do not i i'm just gonna say it a lot of the people that follow me on twitter i do not like and i'm gonna get a lot of shit for that i'm just saying i mean you don't even do anything though you play video games you edit videos i don't know why i'm not doing anything that should upset people i know oh playing video games upsets more people than it should. It does, but it shouldn't.

That part's confusing. Whatever. Let me clarify. Honestly, most of the people that follow me are really good, but there is a portion of this Let's Player fan base that follows me that are really awful. It's because you don't know how to play the games. If I was here in the room when you're playing it

and you're having a good laugh, drinking a beer on the couch, you know, just playing a game casually. You can't drink a beer, he's not 21 yet. You're not 21? I'll be 21 in a few months. Why do you gotta tell people that? It takes me down in their eyes. The point is, if I was here, I would be screaming at you and yelling at you every moment while you're trying to enjoy that video game because gosh darn it, you're not playing it the right way. I'm not playing it the way they want me to.

Well, I mean, you miss it. If you're not good at a video game, then you're not enjoying it. That's true, too. Yeah, right? Value-added tax, Watson. What'd you call me? Value-added tax, Watson. Chris. What?

You're laying it on. You're a troublemaker. Something below the belt. That's what it is. I didn't mean to call you that one. How would you like it if I called you Miss O'Neil? The look you gave me me you turned away and screamed and then you looked back at me and you just had this all right let's play a game what are the odds

that after this podcast you have to go see the movie again by yourself tonight out of 100 out of 100 ready count us down ryan three two one thirty two shit thank god all right all right 3, 2, 1, 52. Shit. Thank God. Alright. Anyone else want to take a chance? Ryan? I already did this. You haven't done it though. What are the odds? Yeah, 100. Okay, 1, 2, 3, 100. 44. Oh. We were close. That was a close one.

Holy fucking shit. Ding dong? I don't even understand what the hell you're doing. Explain it because a lot of people listening don't get it. Okay, so basically I explain it cuz a lot of people listen. Oh you explain it Okay, so basically I'll say ding dong What are the odds that you have to go see Medea by yourself tonight and then hundred cuz I want to go see it No, no the lower the odds are one. Oh, okay. So no, okay. Well basically we have to say I'm gonna go see it right after It's not hypothetical I want to go see it. Do you actually want to yeah, I'll see it right after You after? It's not hypothetical, I wanna go see it

Do you actually want to? Yeah, I wanna see it I'll see it again tonight Really? If you wanna see it, I'll go with this You enjoyed it! I knew it! It was all a trap, Matt

I knew you liked it It was all a trap It's not your mom, you like Madea Oh god! This podcast has been an out-of-body experience for me Cause I'm just, I'm learning all these things about myself that I've been hiding from myself. Are you alright? Because you've been like shaking the whole time. I'm not fucking shaking!

God! Ryan, you know how to make really shitty background noise? By shaking your mic with your foot. I was just thinking that! I've actually, uh... Uh... Been a loser. Yeah. That.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It's just a bully! You came in here just to bully everybody. They invited me in to bully them. That's true Can I can I can I get on wait wait? Fuck oh What good idea? All right, so let's say you don't want to do it you would pick a big number like a hundred okay one

Ding dong and then say zero no no that's not okay one is that mathematically impossible i'm not i'm not me i'm not being able to explain the game well if i said zero does that mean it just nullifies everything at that point i guess so but that's no fun oh so then we zero god damn it i can't i can't win with you i can't do it he's a real piece of work but do you want to go see meda after this Yeah I see Madea Would you sit through it again I would not If you guys came with me

I would not No There's no way I'm sitting Through that movie again You're paying 15 dollars To be tortured for two hours What shitty movies are playing Doc I don't know

Doc I don't know Doctor Strange is bad You said doc I don't know though Doc I don't know He's I don't know What's playing

I don't know There's nothing fucking play To see about this white dude any snipes typical illegal immigrants trying to cross the border Typical I want to see this movie That's border town. That's a TV show. No, it's called this deserto or some shit like that Does I don't know You're making this up You just want Hollywood to make this movie What?

You want Hollywood to make a movie like this No, I'm gonna fucking look it up There it is It has Jeffrey D. Morgan in it And I like him And it also has, I don't know how to Gail Garcia Bernal Who was in the John Stewart movie

It has a bunch of dead brown people. It's everything I ever wanted from Hollywood. It just looks interesting and weird and creepy. I get it. I get it. Look. Look at this. First Medea and now this.

I get it. It's some angry, mean white man. Ew! And he's sniping all the immigrants trying to cross the border. What is the immigrant running like a ballet dancer? Yeah, that looks like an inspirational Is this like a vigilante movie to you Ryan No

I'm sure to our home state it would be South Carolina Hey guys let's sing a song together Okay let's all start at the same time and see if we come up with the same song Okay 3, 2, 1 Have sleep Have cerebral palsy Yup That was it same song. Okay. Three, two, one. Have sweet, have cerebral palsy.

Yep. There it was. That was it. What were you singing, Ding Dong? I wasn't singing anything. He was just singing the Icy Zane. Hey, Matt, you do this note. Do that. Okay. Okay, now, Ryan, you do this. No, no, you go do that.

No, go go lower. One, one lower. No, no, you go Do that Go lower, one lower No, no, go Okay, now you go Now you go I can't do that I love this shit, this is so stupid We almost had a minor going

Chris, what's with you and kids and minors and shit? You're sending them to man And now you're trying to get us to roleplay We almost had a minor going. I don't care. What? Let's harmonize, Chris. Chris, what's with you and kids and minors and shit? You're sending them to man, and now you're trying to get us to role play. I was trying to do a cult song to lure the minors. If you're a minor, go follow me on Twitter. Chris, let's harmonize. Let's sing a song. Let's do the Jurassic Park theme.

Okay, Matt, do one note. Can you sing ding dong? No. This ding dong singing. I got my web to brace it. My last resort. Vacation. Say vacation. Vacation. In Hawaii. Vacation. No brain. Say vacation. No, I said vacation in Hawaii.

Vacation, Tahiti. I said suffocation, but I just didn't like vocally express the first part of it. So it came out as vacation. Do you guys remember Dog the Bounty Hunter? Yes. I never understood the theme song. It's like, there's something blabbering all around you. The criminals are on the run

something with a heart I don't know what he's saying didn't he get does he still have his license I thought some shit happened with him I thought he got in trouble wait is he a real guy yes of course he's a real guy I've never watched it I didn't you rendered

I don't know if dog I I've never watched I don't know if it's not've never watched it. I don't know if it's like... He was not a real dog, okay? No, I... He was a human. Triumph the insult dog the bounty hunter. Have you ever watched the Eiffel 65 music video Blue? He's actually in the background. It's just an old 3D render they had.

You guys remember the Crazy Frog video? There was a version where he had his dick out. No, yeah. That was the version. The old commercials too for Jamster, he had his dick out. Yeah, that's what I thought! I remember seeing that, and I was young when I saw it, and I was like, What the hell? Is that real?

I mean, I remember I looked it up online and I watched it, and then like, I forgot about it, and a year later I looked it up, and the only versions I could find were like, uh, on YouTube were him with no penis. Yeah, they censored it. They re- they- did they, like, remove his penis? Yeah, he doesn't have a penis anymore. They re-rendered the whole, like like music video and stuff with no penis. They neutered him.

Yeah, they took away his manlyhood. His froglyhood. Crazy Frog's pretty epic. Dang dang. He's a good example of toxic masculinity. Do you remember his famous quote? What? He didn't say that.

He did, he looked at the camera and he went No he didn't, Chris. He went If you're at the camera and he went... No, he didn't, Chris. He went... If you're going to come on our lies, don't spread... What? If you're going to come on our podcast, don't spread lies. What was that? Come on our lies? It's a Freudian slip.

Look, Chris, if you're going to come on my Facebook... If I'm going to lie down, you're going to come. You better do it or I'm going to go home. You guys are being real mean to me on this podcast. I'm going to get out of here. If you come on my... Come on... Shit! God, I'm never go home. You guys are being real mean to me on this podcast. I'm gonna get out of here. Come on my thigh. Come on. Shit!

I'm never having you guys on my podcast again. Get out of here, Ryan. Get out of here, Chris and Ding Dong. Rat Watson. Rat Watson. Okay, you got me with that one. You got me. You backed me into a corner.

Rat Watson. Rat Watson. Rat Watson. Rat Watson. Rat Watson. He's a rat and he's a rat. I can't take this anymore, guys. You're really pushing me into a corner here.

I'm gonna have to start fighting. Ow! I didn't do that. That was Chris hitting himself. I would never hit Chris. Hey, Matt, take this. Nope. Not doing it.

Take this one, fucker. Ow! Ow! Oh, I had a panic attack. Fucker. Ow! AHHHHH! Oh, I had a panic attack. Uh, not a panic attack, but I hate you. Why did that remind you of a panic attack? I know, I had a moment of like, a moment of, listen. It's how it's you too when you have a panic attack.

No, I was driving last night to get some gas. I was driving to get some gas. You were driving to get shit and you went, No, I tried to- He can't even go as high as he does. Let me speak, Chris. I tried to do some gas. I was driving to get some gas. You were driving to get shit and you went No, I tried to go as high as he does. Let me speak, Chris. I tried to do the scream. This is why people call you Rat Watson. You fucking sound like a rat right there. Have you ever heard a rat sound like

that? Yes. What sound does a rat fucking make? That fucking high-pitched squeal that you just did. It fucking shatters the sun. What? What? No. I was driving to get gas. Rats do squeal. And I was listening to a song. Are you sure you're not a rat? I? No. I was driving to get gas. Rats do squeal. And I was listening to a song. You sure you're not a rat?

I'm positive, guys. I'm positive. And I went to sing with the song. I get it. Like rat paws. Go on. And I went to like do my. Are you a brat?

Yes, I'm a brat. Look at my Twitter. I went to do my screech, my scream like that. And it came out. It was like. And I started freaking out. And I kept trying to do the scream over and over. And I couldn't do my screech, my scream like that, and it came out, it was like, and I started freaking out, and I kept trying to do the scream over and over, and I couldn't do it, and I was getting really upset,

and I was scared that, did my voice suddenly change a little bit, and I can't do it anymore? I've been fucking telling you for weeks and weeks and weeks. I just did it, though. It's evident I can still do it. We'll fucking record more. Does it even register?

Do that into my mic. It's so weird. It's not the charts. How is it not peaking the audio when you do that? It hurts my throat. It hurts my ears. So wait, you had a panic attack because you couldn't do it? No, I misworded it.

You misworded it? It was a slip up with my words. Matt, how low can you go? How low? Yeah. Hold on. Okay, uh. Yeah. Yeah.

That's not, that's just inhaling. Ding dong, how low can you go? Yeah. Hello. Hey, I'm ding dong. Oh, I can't go any lower. I can't go any lower than this. I can't go any lower.

Who's got the deepest voice when they do it as low as they can? Probably Chris. Oh, oh. I can't go as low as they can? Probably Chris. I can't go any lower. Hey, I'm Chris. Hello! I'm Christopher. No, leave! I'm Christopher O'Neill. I'm cool. Fuck, dude. I'm, you know, I'm getting hot water on Twitter, getting hot water on YouTube. Why do you keep bringing up Twitter?

I'm done! I was gonna say- We haven't talked about Twitter in 30 minutes. What are you talking about? I looked at the clock. That's not right. Yeah, it's been stuck at 11th It's it's a 30 minute well says well It just changed as I was saying it's been stuck at 1130 it switched to 1131 the second he said it Yeah guys, I've getting my ass handed to me in this podcast on a silver platter Matt here Let's let's settle this once and for all. Who's cooler, me or Ding Dong?

Why do you have to make me answer these questions? I don't know, Ding Dong. Chris. Chris, it was a joke. It was just a joke, man. Wait, ah, Ding Dong, he doesn't like you. Who doesn't? Matt, he just said it was a joke.

He said it was joshing you. No. He's a joke, so I don't care. Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Are you all right? I don't know what to say. I said I'll see Madea with you.

These two won't? When we're out of here, will you- I'm the number one Madea fan. Will you hold up to that promise and go see Madea with me tonight? Yeah, not these two losers. Yeah, fuck these guys. I would do that. I'll go have a movie day with Ding Dong then. We'll see Madea. Yeah, we'll see Madea with me tonight? Yeah, not these two losers. Fuck these guys. I would do that. I'll go have a movie day with Ding Dong then.

We'll see Madea. Yeah, we'll see Madea. We'll be good. Do it. I'll get Ding Dong's commentary. I'll bring my Madea t-shirt. I have a whole costume. All he'll say is that's all right.

Do your Madea cosplay. Wait, wait, wait. Real question. Real question. So Madea is played by a man, right? Yes. He puts on the costume. Tyler Perry, of course.

Yes. If I put on that costume, what would that be? Would that be racist? That would be blackface. He's putting on the black... He said the costume. Tyler Perry, of course. If I put on that costume, what would that be? Would that be racist? That would be blackface. He said the costume. He didn't say the skin. He's not ripping the skin off of him and putting it on. He's doing woman face. Is woman face a thing? Like if I put eyeliner

on? They used to make little boys play women in Shakespearean plays. Of course woman face is a thing. They're part of the human race. If black people Well women are a pratt's very in place that was from a face. No race I Mean women are a human race Would you care what if black people did white they did it was called white chicks Which anyway and was hilarious anyone give a fuck well, it's not we're not oppressed so it's fine Well, I mean they used blackface to kind of just belittle them and shit, too.

And it's like, they're too dangerous to be on set. I spaced out for a moment, and I was snapped back by hearing... I knew you guys were talking about black people. I'm spacing out, but I hear you saying... You're talking about blackface, not black people. They're too dangerous on set? What were you saying? What?

That's why people get mad about blackface. No, they didn't. They just, like, there's a whole bunch of stupid shit. I mean, that's why... That's even why marijuana at some point just became criminalized or at least demonized against the, against a lot of people is because they associated it with race at some point. Wow.

They said marijuana makes this group of people act this certain way. And they wouldn't allow certain people on set just because, I mean, they didn't, they didn't want black people on set with like an all white cast and stuff like that. Is that really why they did blackface back then? That's not the pure reason why, but there's a bunch of reasons why they didn't do it. What? Number two is that they didn't like them so much at the time. Why?

Because they were mean, naughty, naughty people. That's what it says in the history book. Give me a kiss. You kissed me right on my dick, it tickled. Can we all get a good group kiss before we end the podcast? Kissing a penis is weird. It's funny because no one does that. It's funny because it's gay.

Ha ha. Let's do ASMR. More. What's more? ASMR. ASMR. I'll have some ASMR, please. This is the worst podcast.