supermegashow - EP 252 - 2020 Annual Water Report

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Matt's wife's boyfriend has been stirring the pot and the boys read some fantastic things from the mail, including the annual water report! Save 20% on your Halo Collar by going to ShopHaloCollar.com/SUPER.   Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/MEGACAST. Don’t forget to use my link at ExpressVPN.com/supermega to get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free! Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to Upstart.com/SUPERMEGA. Find a vaccine location at vaccines.gov Get 20% off + free shipping with the unique URL manscaped.com/supermega Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. That's aggressive.

Layton is flicking me off. I just want that for the records. I watched it. He's doing it again. He's doing it again. He's flicking me off again. Who do you think the people are going to trust? Probably someone that doesn't fuck with people constantly all the time for multiple years over YouTube.

I don't fuck with anyone. You guys are constantly lying and shit. No, we don't. Ryan. I love everyone listening. Ryan. We don't lie. Ryan.

I love you, man. He's flicking me off again. No, you're not. Put it down, Layden. Shut the door. Put the finger down. Shut the door. Put the finger down. Shut the door. You guys are really mean to me.

You smell... I didn't put on any deodorant today. I didn't either. So I think we're both in the clear. Okay. So... In terms of... Well, I can see the thing is like your BO smells very different from my BO.

So I can tell when it's mine. You know? You know, what does my BO smell like? You put it, well, it smells like the seasoned taco beef. Yeah. Where mine smells more like the onions of the taco. Okay. You know?

Like. Yeah, no, mine smells like. My BO tastes and smells more like onions, bro. And yours smells like, just like the. Wait, once you said the taco beef thing that one time and I sniffed your armpit and smelled it like it's kind of sweet isn't it yeah it just like a sweet smell that's mine is like that too it just made me like feel so ill just like thinking of something i like god hey that's life baby you want to get a sniff of this i can bring it over if you want to bring it over because i'm already so comfortable.

Check this out, bro. Get up in there. See, I just smell fabric softener. What? Really? Yeah. I only smelled your shirt, I think. Well, just imagine you're sautéing some onions. I'm imagining it right now.

You sliced it, you know? Put them together, you got a good taco. So, Matt matt what are the hip and happen topics of this week uh what what have you seen that's hip and happening it's july 2021 uh there's july 6th 2021 we just observed independence day not like what the hell is that the garage door opening. Do we need to close this window? Wind you? We could.

But, I don't know, it's kind of a nice little breeze in here. It is. Dude, these shores aren't, they're not omnidirectional. They're not going to pick up. Who cares? Who cares, man? Some noise canceling in post after, you know? Yeah, that's true. I kind of like hearing the birds outside.

Me too. But what's happening this week? Fourth of July happened. That's right. A lot of fireworks went off. Oh, so many, dude. Like, it sounded like a war zone outside. Like, usually it does, but this year...

My mom said she had to go inside because it got to a point where it reminded her of when she was in Lebanon. Damn. She was like, nah, I've had enough. It sounds like Lebanon. Damn. She was like, nah, I've had enough. It sounds like war. It's like, yeah. I'm like, did it really sound like that? She's like, sometimes. I'm like, damn. Yeah, imagine

living somewhere and you're just laying in bed and you can just hear in the distance just like, I think, yeah, she told me she had to some night sleep under the table with her siblings and stuff. Really? Because bombs were going off. There was a bomb that went off across the street from her. It was in the apartment building over.

It was a guy, I think the story was it was a guy making a bomb and then he just blew himself up accidentally. I don't mean to laugh at that. It's just like. Well, he was going to use it to blow someone up. Okay, yeah. I mean, that's kind of karmatic, you know? Yeah.

That's God going, okay, buddy. Okay. R word. I'm kidding. Myatic, you know? Yeah. That's God going, okay, buddy. Okay. R word. I'm kidding. My favorite subreddit. Yeah. What a... Is that subreddit still around?

Yeah. I have a friend that... No way. ...sends me memes from it, like, every week. You'd think that would be... I never respond, but... ...one of the ones that, like, got taken down. Because you know how a whole slew of them got taken down?

I'm not... A big chopping block when they axed all those subreddits? They didn't take Mega64. They took down some podcast. What was the podcast? Chapo. Chapo. They took down Chapo's subreddit, which, to be fair, was a really awful subreddit.

I mean, I usually... I didn't go on it, but... The subreddits I visit are r slash Sea of Thieves, r slash Super Mega. Yeah. Because that's the best subreddit on this website. Or r slash Super Mega Show, r slash Super Mega Show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.

R slash Super Mega Show. And r slash Rant Grumps. Yes, that's some of the best. That's some of the best dude uh any of like the leftist podcast subreddits are just awful toxic wasteland why is it people like going like like like i'm guessing like destiny subreddit like like chapo or just anyone hometown all those like leftist subreddits like like leftist like podcast subredd? Like Chapo or Comptown. All those leftist subreddits. Like leftist podcast subreddits. You get a bunch of tryhard kids that are

that just make a bunch of death threats. It's like the Donald but just flipped. Kids are horrifying and now they have the full extent of the internet to wield their power. I have anonymity and I can say whatever I want with no remorse

yeah and it's fun at the time I don't later you'll get to go I shouldn't have done that but you know that's about it yeah yeah that's so you don't need to worry about it I don't remember who said it maybe it was Eddie Burback but if someone was like

Eddie Burback don't say his full name or else he will fucking be here in a heartbeat. You only said it twice, right? Yeah. I didn't say it a third time. That's good. EB tweeted something like, I wish Twitter put in a system where you have to verify your age and it would show your age next to your username. So in a Twitter debate or when you're getting blasted on Twitter

it's just like 14, 15, 13. It's like, oh, okay. So, you know. Because, you know, Twitter and TikTok and social media is bad for mental health. It is one of the worst things for mental health I think.

I don't know. I go on Twitter to like art and see what people are saying every now and then, but I don't like go into the trending shit. I like don't even, I don't. The only place where I go to like the homepage, I think, is like Reddit, where I'll just go to popular and just scroll if I'm like already updated with like what I'm checking. I just have this weird fear of... I'm scared that if I'm not on Twitter, I'm falling off.

Oh, I have that feeling. Well, it's true in my case, but... You haven't fallen off? I guess I haven't fallen off, but I haven't accrued the consistency that you should have working in what we do. But I'm trying to fix that.

I started streaming again, for example. I just streamed before we started recording this podcast. I took a piss. What are you checking? I was making sure it was recording. Were you like, did I start? I was like, did I press were you like did I start yeah I was like

did I press start we've done that before we've done that before I mean it's only been twice but I have started it yeah nice nice

hey man it's uh it's don't think of it as like uh just do it when I want to yeah just do it when you want man just have fun with it

I told chat let's see how long this stint lasts let's see like how long long this stint lasts. Let's see. Like how long will this stint go for? And then how long will the break be before the next stint? You know what I mean? Because there's always like this big fucking few months to it.

Like I think one time it was like over a year break. It happens, man. I mean, like you're not like, it's not your job to stream. Exactly. But this is your job. This is my job. You're right. Bowing down to the advertisers it's not your job to stream. Exactly. But this is your job. This is my job. You're right. Bowing down to the advertisers, that's your job.

I mean, it is. It's what pays the bills. Yeah, it is. It's what keeps the lights on. It's what keeps Lego fed. It's what gets me to buy copious amounts of drugs. And condoms for your wife's boyfriend. Well, they haven't been using them lately.

What? That's unfair. No, I know. And we made an agreement. Because the marriage is a sanctity between you and her. So if you're going to have kids... I have to wear a condom when I have sex with my wife. Still? Yes. I've never had sex with her without a condom. But he, lately, I just found this out like two days ago.

He doesn't have to wear a condom with anyone. Was it when you were videotaping? No. I go through the trash in the bathroom every morning just to see if there's anything good in there, like worth keeping. And I noticed. Sometimes people throw out. Well, I noticed there were no condoms. There used to be condoms.

There weren't any condoms in the trash. No cum filled condoms tied off like a little balloon animal. And I noticed this. I was like, they've been going at it. Oh, yeah. They make it obvious. I mean, the last week I have not slept in the same room as them. I've been sleeping.

Have you brought that up? Have you talked to them about it? I just know my place. But what happened was I just noticed there's no condoms. And I was like, okay, I won't say anything. Maybe they flushed it. And the next day I heard them going at it all night like a couple of monkeys didn't didn't hear anything or I well I didn't see anything in the trash can no condoms so I was like all right now it's starting to get

weird third day nothing still so I when they were sitting down uh eating the breakfast I had cooked for them I said hey can I ask you guys something and he was like what and I said I haven't I didn't find any condoms in the trash can this week like the last three four days and he looks at me and he goes yeah it's cause I've been raw dogging her asshole

and I couldn't tell if he meant like raw dogging her asshole or like he was calling me an asshole yeah cause the way he said it was like I've been raw dogging her asshole so i couldn't really tell with the intonation so he's foreign so like his when he when he the intonation like it's not always very clear okay it's from abu dhabi but like dude that's just frustrating man like that she like he can fuck her without a condom but i still have have to wear, you know, protection. And I'm the husband. I mean. That's my wife.

The thing is, you could if you saved up a hundred of your tokens, but you can usually only get to ten because that's where a handjob's offered. Yeah, man. But you gotta save them up, and maybe you can talk. Do you know how hard that is, dude? Do you know how infrequently I get those tokens? And he's the one that gives them to me. You were in, like, four last year. He's the one that decides when I get those tokens. And he's the one that gives them to me. You were in like four last year.

He's the one that decides when I get them, not her. He's like the one in control of the tokens. So when he thinks I- Can the tokens be taken away? Oh yeah. Oh, see, that's unfair. Yeah, no, he takes them away more than he gives them. And that's the problem.

I burnt his toast last week and he took one away. And that was really upsetting because I had finally, it had been like six months and I finally got up to three and I burnt his toast and I told him, I said, oh, I'll make you another one. I'll make you another one. It's fine. And he said, no, no, give me a token. And I had to go up into my, into my room or I guess their room. I have a little air mattress next to the bed and I had to go into my little my little Ziploc bag

and pull a token out and give it to them and it sucked. It was awful. It was not fun but But I'm I'm praying for you to get to 100.

I don't think it's gonna happen man. But that's okay. You know like I said I know my place. Yeah. I mean you got in this relationship

knowing what it was. Maybe I'm not supposed to ever have 100. You know? But it's episode 252 of the Super Megacast. Oh, she-eyes. So, whoo. 252. Yeah, 252.

Yeah, 252. I know that. 252. 252. You can read it forwards and backwards. That's a palindrome, guys. That's crazy. But this isn't the palindrome episode.

The last time we had this was 121. Yeah. Wait, palindrome, guys. That's crazy, but this isn't the palindrome episode. The last time we had this was 121. Yeah. Wait, no, no, no, 242. Never mind that. Oh, true. That was a really stupid moment of mine right there. I was like, 121? I was just agreeing because I was like, yeah. Because you're like, oh, I trust that my friend is smart enough to have basic

math understood. I don't. We've established this many times. But the first palindrome episode was... 11. Then we had 22. Then 33. 33? Yeah. I wonder what it was like back then. 32 was The Maintenance Man Cometh.

I know that. 31 was... 33... Oh, fuck. It was 33. 33 was the reality space show. I was about to say, yeah. The space one. I don't know why I remember that. 33 was the reality space show. I was about to say, yeah. The space one. I don't know why I remember that. There it is. I want to see how we introduce a podcast.

Oh, yeah, back at 33? Like, yeah. Because that's far enough into it. Oh, no. I just shifted. I just peed before this, and I just shifted. And I just felt a bunch of pee come out. Because, you know, you don't always get it all out.

I guess some things haven't changed. Dude, that's the thing. I have listened back to some older episodes here and there and I'm like, oh, there is some different stuff, but it's like, really, it's not that much different. It's like, oh, I'm still talking about pissing my pants.

Gosh darn ads. Yeah, I'm going to be honest. When we signed our contract, I mean, I don't know. I didn't know they were going to put ads in the old episodes. Yeah, neither did I. So at least for the next year, we're locked in with that one. So, oops. You know, we don't read contracts.

Because, yeah. Why? Why am I going to waste time doing that? Why am I going to waste time reading something that legally binds me to something? But we also don't know if we can talk about this because we haven't read the contract. So we probably just shouldn't, just in case. Yeah. Because we didn't read the contract.

Actually, I don't know if there's anything that says. Did you read it? I can go through and see. I can read the contract live on the podcast. It's not super long. Yeah, it is actually. I could just read every section of the contract and make that the rest of the episode.

I'm sure people would love that. Any legal students could be like, oh, yeah, you guys fucked up with that one. Yep. The wording on that one, they got you. It's like they always know. I feel like legal students, it's like once they hear the start of a certain phrase,

it's like, oh, that. Okay, legal students, what's the start, or those who are studying law, right? What is the start of a phrase that would be in a contract or something that's a big automatic red flag? Just like, da-da-da-da-da,

and then that's it. Not a whole sentence, just kind of like the start of something that kind of tips your ear or what is something that tips your ear to a bad contract that's not as blatant as I just read the contract usually it's like

the word things very specifically where like you'll just gloss over it and not realize like what it could actually imply you won't get your like thesaurus out and you'll just kind of like try to weasel your way through it. Well, it's the kind of shit, like the kind of word trickery like I brought up on a previous episode

where it's like Subway can say made with 100% chicken, but it's actually like 20% chicken, but it's made with the chicken that is in it besides the filler is 100% chicken. So they can say, maybe it's not made of 100% chicken. Just like how egg salad

is made with mustard. Yeah. It's not made of mustard. It's made with some mustard. So made with 100% chicken. Dude, why this is far too late to have this realization but why don't we have

a lawyer to read over contracts for us? Because we're smarter than any lawyer. That's true. Yeah, that's the answer. We're two brains. A lawyer's just one. That's true, man. And I'm not hiring a whole fucking team of lawyers.

Sorry. You know how expensive lawyers are? Probably like 25 bucks a day or something like that. God, no, I'm not paying that shit. I'm not paying. Fuck. You know why God made snakes? Why? Why did God make snakes? Wait, fuck. What was? I think I got it wrong. You know why God

made lawyers? Why? Do you not remember this one as well? Because he already made snakes? Dude, I don't remember. What's the saying? I don't know. I bet you I don't know. Let me just Google. You know why God made snakes? Dude, I don't know. What? No, what's the saying? I don't know. I bet you I don't know. Let me just Google, you know why God made lawyers. See, I don't know things, Matthew.

I know some things. I don't know things either, dude. But here we are with a podcast. Anyone can have a podcast. That's the thing. The least we could do is know things. What's one thing you know? Just top of your head.

What's one thing you know? I know the your head, what's one thing you know? I know the names. I know a lot of stuff about space. And the deep sea. That's just a statement on that you know these things. What's one thing you know about space? Uranus. I'm not making a joke. Uranus has a moon named Miranda. That's awesome.

You know why God made snakes before he made lawyers? Why? He needed the practice. Jimmy? Why? He needed the practice. Jimmy McGill. He needed the practice. That's good. That's really good, man. Wait, is that...

Did I get that wrong? Is Miranda not a moon of... More like Saul Fartman. Yes, Uranus. Yeah? Dude, did you hear that? Did you fart? No.

More like saw fart man. Oh, okay. I gotcha. Right? Yeah. Do you ever just go- Pretty sick, isn't it? It's good.

Do you ever just go on Wikipedia and just go down like just rabbit holes looking- Yeah, sometimes I'll look up some porn and it leads to more porn it's crazy I remember when I was too scared to look up porn like when I was younger I was like I can learn it felt like a mission impossible event like turning on the computer

like shutting the door so quietly so they don't hear I've definitely said this before but if the speakers were accidentally on they'd'd be like, go real quick. I mean, that still has happened to me as an adult. That would be like abort mission, like hold, turn it off, and then like restart. Just stay quiet for a bit to see if you hear any movement. I was thinking about this the other day, actually, because the way my house was set up, it was two stories.

And my parents' bedroom was right below my dad's like workroom. And that's where the computer was. But the house was like built in the 70s or 80s. And it had some like squeaky nails. So when to walk to the computer, I had to like go around the desk from the doorway. And when you would walk, it'd be like. And you could hear it from my parents' bedroom so clear. So I remember at night, I'd have to be like, I don hear it from my parents bedroom so clear so i remember at night

i'd have to be like i'm gonna watch porn fuck so i'd like very very no i'd leave the door open so i could hear them coming just in case you could hear them what matt come on man i'm not talking about my parents having sex i'm talking about myself watching porn yeah i would i much rather would have listened to that though because that's, that's the real deal. Yeah, that is. But basically,

if you hear like the, for like 20 seconds and then just, and it just stops. And then you'll start, you'll just hear like the sink turn on. Like the light turn on for like five seconds and then it's like the sink turn back like the light turn on for like five seconds

then turn back on and then like five minutes later you see my dad snoring no but I'd have to walk around to get to the computer and I'd be like on my tiptoes and it'd be like and I'd be like fuck and I remember every now and then I would hear from downstairs thank you

I'd zoom back out, dude. I wish there was like a camera set up so I could see you in like cinematic beauty, like have the narrative splayed out before me. Matthew. I remember one time I was like pages from like a desk out in the hallway. Just eyes start swirling. A little dust cloud behind me. I was looking once and I remember looking as in looking

at pornography once when I was a wee teenager. Also, my dad came out of nowhere. Came out of nowhere? Yeah. He had to come from somewhere, man. He didn't just come from nowhere. Like a portal opens up like

right behind me a portal in the fabric of space and time open he climbed out what are you doing son hey what are you using the family computer for then my dad came out of nowhere i love that um no but i i suddenly realized he was much closer closer to walking into the studio than I thought. Yeah. And I was like, fuck. Whip my pants up real quick. I go to close out and the computer freezes. And I was like, no, no, no.

You can't just turn off the monitor because then that's super suspicious. Nope. It was a Mac. Like one of the old Macs. You can't turn off the monitor without turning off the computer. So I just hold down the button on the back. It's not turning off. Right as he walks in and i was like man the computer just messed up and then i another time it doesn't and those old computers didn't like save your shit

no but another time i heard him coming so i closed out real quick and pulled something else up but my favorite thing about porn websites is they're like oh let's silently open up some pop-ups of disgusting porn in the background that you don't even see. So he comes over and he's like, hey, I need to get on for work. I was like, okay. So I close it on my windows. And it's just like this big-ass live Jasmine ad of like a girl fingering herself. Like, ah.

And he's like, what the hell is that? And I was like, we might have a virus. I don't know, Dad. I told him I thought we had a virus. So I did this whole thing where I downloaded antivirus software. I i got rid of it dad he probably knew but i i uh i think i got away with most of my escapades they i even they had to know oh they had to know at some looking back like my parents like they had to know when i was like like hey i'm gonna go to my room to study oh exactly like it's just kind of like

I'm gonna well I don't know I spent most of my time in my room playing games and stuff yeah playing with yourself I played video games by myself sometimes only sometimes I had a lot of friends I was saying earlier

how I have friends around the world. Well, actually, I say that in an ad read that you're about to hear. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process.

Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP. Plus, with FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL.

19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running

late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find secret at your nearest Walmart or shoppers drug Mart today. Welcome back. God, make sure you put the right ad read there. I will, man. Well, I'll also,

but well, in the video version, yes. Yeah. You know, the audio version, who knows? Cause that's streaming services.

That's up to the fucking monkeys. That's left up to a bunch of monkeys and suits that are like, ah, these guys making dick jokes again. just throw the ads in right here. Go mix them up, whatever. So, I don't know. I really don't. Also, I don't know if it works like if when we record ads, if it replaces like the old ones in other

episodes. So if you listen to an old episode, you'll hear like the ads we just recorded. That would be interesting. I don't know how that works. I don't know if they would be playing like old ads still. Beats me. That's probably why they make us... I don't listen to the super mega cast. Yeah, you do.

You listen to it right now. Well, technically, yeah. You listen to it live. I'm creating it. With every word we utter, we're creating gold. Did you guys know Ryan and I have edited every single episode of this podcast up to 252? That is right. We have edited every single one. Every single one. I usually take evens. Ryan usually

takes odds. It's been that way for a while. There was a period where you would do six weeks and I would do like five or... Getting a phone call? Hello? Welcome to Spectrum. The country's largest cable TV network

If you are facing issues With the service or feel the bill is too high Press 1 and speak to a feedback agent Otherwise hang up the call Yo mama Dude you just Spectrum ain't gonna recover from that one Spectrum

Stupid old Spectrum I'm on the Spectrum That should be their new catchphrase for people that have like spectrum internet yep I'm on the spectrum I wish they would do that like a whole advertising campaign that would be good that would be great I think that would be fantastic

then we could all be on the spectrum we could all be on the spectrum network we're all on the spectrum although I can't promote being quote unquote on the spectrum because their internet's not the best it's fine it's fine it's fine it's do i do i have spectrum i i don't think you do do you i thought you have like eight i don't know if i have at&t or if I have Spectrum. I just have literally like there was only one thing available for me that was like high speed, which was stupid because like where I used to live, which was pretty close to where I moved to, I had like way more options. And then just like right down the street, it's like only one. Yeah.

Why? Also, like I had I lived in an apartment building once where for internet you only had one option like they had signed a deal with I think AT&T and it's like you have no option for internet except this package and you have to pay like this amount which is so stupid so just effing dumb dude oh guess what

what? update on the fleas situation let's hear about these fleas Ryan I actually real quick if it doesn't work, what you tried, I think I actually do know how to get rid of them. I'm not kidding. Okay. So this is what the bug man said. Bug man came today, and he put more granules in the lawn, and he used, like, two different types of sprays. It, like, kills them on contact and then also works residually up to like a month or something like that.

And all the problem areas that I was having. And when I went out there to show him the problem areas, a bunch of them were jumping on us as I was talking to him. So I was like, yeah. He actually answered the door and he's like, are you sure it's fleas though? And I'm like, I'm very sure it's fleas. Come take a look, Buster. Yeah. And so we had that moment and he said, he went, okay, I might've like over sprayed, but it seemed like an anxious little man.

Cause he didn't want to flee on him. Cause he's like, I have a Husky at home and I don't want to bring one home. I have a husky at home and I don't want to bring one home. So he was talking and he said, even if there was a dead animal or an animal under my shed, there wouldn't have been that bad of an infestation. So this was a pretty bad infestation because he said there was like 10 to 20 of them on his little trousers at one time at one point.

But he sprayed the hell out of that area. And then when I went out there to go check on it, you know, only one jumped on me the whole time i was out i was out there for like five minutes walking around up and down shit here's the thing that that means that there's at least like more eggs or something somewhere and the advice he said was was if this works that's good but if it doesn't then that means maybe your neighbors have it. And I'm like, well, what if my neighbors are irresponsible and they're not, like, I'm not going to go.

Y'all got fleas? Yeah, exactly. Y'all got fleas? Get your shit treated. Come on. Like, I'm not going to do that. So he's like, then if this doesn't fix it, move. I was like, all right.

I forgot about this. My sister told me this ages ago to get rid of like ants, fleas, bed bugs. Okay.

It's crazy. It's called, I forgot what it's called, like diatonaceous earth, I think. It's like a white powder and it's not toxic to dogs or anything

or humans, but like. Does it work similar to like salt where it like breaks through their exoskeletons? Yeah, it just absolutely kills.

Can I use it on my patio? Yeah, because you can even feed it to a dog to kill worms that a dog has. Really? And it's like the best for killing bugs apparently. So like that right there. And actually I got a lot of DMs on Instagram for you. People were like, tell Ryan to use diatomaceous earth. That's what a lot of people were saying that.

In fact, I was reading on Reddit or I was reading somewhere. Maybe it was a comment on the video. It's a diatomaceous earth. That's what a lot of people were saying that. In fact, I was reading on Reddit or I was reading somewhere. Maybe it was a comment on the video, but it's like. It's a diatomaceous earth. But it was, it's something like that. It's something. Diatomaceous earth. Diatomaceous earth. Well, they were saying how their exterminator guy was like, hey, you're wasting money using me.

Just get this shit. It's magic. And so. Diatomaceous earth kills household and garden pests. Fleas? Ticks, ants, cockroaches, slugs, bedbugs, and more. Within 48 hours of contact. Home Depot or something? Just sprinkle it around. And also, if your neighbors

were to have fleas, you could just do a big line along the fence or wherever and they wouldn't be able to cross over because they'd die. I'm pretty sure it's something like when they touch it, it sucks all the moisture out of them or something. Similar to salt. Salt works in that way.

Yeah. So try that because it's like, I mean, double check. I read that you can feed it to a dog to get rid of worms the dog has. So go ahead and just feed Lego a couple spoonfuls. Okay, just to make sure it's safe. I'm going to look into that more. I'm also going to wait like a few days, and then I'm going to go back out in that back area and see, you know, one or two may get on me. But I'm going to see if it gets as bad as like – because if I get down and stand out there and like give it just a little bit, I'll have like five, ten on me, no problem.

Well, why don't you give it a couple days and then just cover your bases and sprinkle the diatomaceous earth on top of what the guy did, even if you don't see any. Just in case there's a couple eggs laying around that's like, oh, just wait. Just wait. Just wait. We're going to fuck you up, Ryan. But then the wind might blow the diatomaceous earth because it's a powdery type of stuff, right? Dude, also, yeah, it's like cocaine.

You could get handfuls of it at nighttime and throw it over the fence to your neighbor's place. I could. I could. He's just out there. His wife and him just broke up. She's got a huge fight and she's packing up her stuff and he's out there smoking a cigarette like he's throwing and goes in his eyes

over the fence and fucking it's flammables goes up in flames he sets on fire and no one knows how he fucking died you know wasn't me officer I swear to god it wasn't me if you knew that you had done that but they had no way to ever tell it was you are you gonna be like I killed him of course not

dude no dude I still have so many commendations to get in sea of thieves had no way to ever tell it was you. Are you going to be like, I killed him? Of course not, dude. No. Dude, I still have so many commendations to get in Sea of Thieves, okay? Like, you're not scared about, like, losing, like, your livelihood or, like, anything. It's literally just like, I have more Sea of Thieves to play. The season, like, I'm still not level 100 renown or whatever. I still got to grind that out. Afterwards, maybe I'll take some responsibility for my actions. They should give prisoners video games.

But I'll go to an officer and be like, officer, let's say I accidentally caused someone's death and didn't come out about it, knowingly because I was so embarrassed. What kind of trouble would I be in? Serious trouble, young man.

Thank you. Then I go and whistle and i walk away that that's that's a uh second degree manslaughter the the the mental torment that i give myself is is enough punishment exactly i shouldn't have done that you know that type of thing that like you want a drunk driver kills a family why send him to jail he's gonna live with that for the rest of his life exactly he's gonna have to you know he's gonna have to go around breathing air drinking delicious beverages once again eating wonderful foods with the weight on his back that killed a family yeah did your did your high school have like a like a guy that was a drunk driver that killed someone come and speak no but we did have a a very kind of there was every few years there was a big kind of accident where either the student was drunk

or they were hit by a drunk driver and they would like spell their name and like red solo on the fence yeah yeah i'm on the chain link fences. Big drunk drive, like don't drink and drive campaigns, but. Okay, wait. Kids are stupid. And also adults, because adults also drink and drive too. Adults drink and drive a lot. I actually had a friend in high school that three or so years after graduating, him and this other kid I knew got into like an escalator,

an Explorer, a Suburban, one of those big cars at like 2 a.m. from a party. And they were hammered and they drove and flipped the car and my friend died. And the other one

was his best friend. He has to live with the fact that he killed him. He didn't go to jail or anything. Which he's lucky for that. Yeah. He didn't go to jail. Well, I remember seeing his mugshot, dude. His mugshot taken right after the wreck go to jail or anything uh which is which he's lucky for that yeah go to jail well i i just i

remember seeing his mugshot dude his mugshot taken right after the wreck and he just looks like the most like broken fucking like person i've ever seen it's he killed his best friend yeah and he knows he's like well i killed him and now i'm gonna be in trouble too i'd be more upset that i'm gonna be in trouble than i killed my friend but yeah i don't want people to know that i'm an asshole they're gonna say wow you're a fucking asshole the rest of your life. That does suck, though. Like living with that is like ultimate prison, kind of like knowing that. Yeah, that's why you should just send these people back out into the world.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Drinking and driving is fine. You won't do it again, right? No, officer. I feel bad. No, I won't do it again right no officer i feel bad no i won't do it you're looking at me like that you're you're looking at me like that and that makes me say you're gonna do it again oh no i'm not gonna do it again okay pinky promise okay pinky promise oh you moved

it away all right no this time for real this time for real okay okay okay here we go wait you got your fingers crossed behind your back don't you ah come on all right this time for real. Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Wait, you got your fingers crossed behind your back, don't you? Come on. Alright, this time for real. I'm serious. Pinky promise. No fingers crossed. No fingers crossed. I'm gonna have to pull you over. We're gonna have to do this song and dance all over again. No drinking and driving next time, I promise. Okay. A couple meters away, there's like a flipped

minivan with a fan just on fire. Alright, you have a good night, sir. There's this video of these two inebriated dudes who have crashed into a pole and the officers see this they see it happen on the dash cam and as the officer's walking up the dude has his window rolled down and he's just like what's up officer like nothing had to play it off yeah the dude's like well and and this pole is like like on top of this man's car maybe you want to do that cool cool good evening officer cool dude he won't notice hey let me see if i can find it real quick like just just like hoping that the officer just doesn't notice hey you, you got a taillight out, son. Okay, I'll get that fixed, officer.

Oh, there's so many fucking videos of people crashing into poles. The Reddit can find it, maybe. Probably not. They'll probably put a bunch of the videos that aren't it, and I won't even give them hints. I won't be like, nah. I think I found the video

Ryan was talking about. Nope. Sorry. Nope. Oh, man, dude. Let me tell you something, Ryan. One thing? I don't know why.

Doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme to remind myself why. Tried so hard and lost it all. In the end, it doesn't even matter. I'm very sore today. Cool. Why are you sore, Matt?

I'm sore because... Yeah. Oh, shit. I almost spilled a little drink. I had so much sex with your mom last night. And I was up on top of her all night. So now I'm all sore. Ow, dude.

You hit the microphone, not even me! Do you know how expensive these things are? Don't touch! Did- What is he even doing? It's Fun Dip, dude. Oh, dude, we're gonna have to get Jackson here to clean this up. Jackson!

Ryan picked up a candle to pretend to throw at me, and for some reason there was an open packet of Fun Dip inside. Who brought this Fun Dip? I didn't eat that Fun Dip. No, no, no. I remember there was someone on the podcast. Like, why'd you get Fun Dip? I think this Fun Dip's old as shit. It's more than half a year old. It's been there. Was it like Eddie?

Was it E.B.'s? It was someone's. You remember it was a guest's Fun Dip. And like, they weren't even eating it with the stuff. They were just eating the powder or whatever. Yes. Yeah. Who was that? Who was or whatever. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Who was that? Who was that? It was someone weird Wait, it wasn't too mad. It wasn't Jacob. It might have been too mad. No, that's been there longer No, this has been here for a while. I see it every time

Because it's also got the toy fish inside the candle Yeah That's the state of our office, but Ryan picked up the candle and threw it at me and fucking- and a bunch of powder just flew up Yeah. That's the state of our office. But Ryan picked up the candle and started throwing it at me. And a bunch of powder just flew up. Like in a movie.

You can also hear the real tear in my screen because I actually thought you were going to. You're like, stop! I knew I just had to look at something heavy where for you it would be like, it's that item where it's like, that's definitely too heavy for it to be thrown at me, but maybe this person thinks it's light enough or something to where it's not. Yeah, maybe he's like taking the joke a little too far, doesn't realize it, and then it's going to like hit my knee and like fracture it or, you know, because he already threw a water bottle at me. Right. Maybe he thinks this is kind of like the same deal. The next step up, you know, because you could have thrown that bottle or the bottle of Hennessy that's sitting there.

How many, okay, speaking of, how long is that? Okay, this table. Hennessy has been here since two men. That's right. And the table right here between us has, it doesn't really get cleaned off that often. So it's just the same things on it that have been here forever. There's an educational book about methadone. Yep.

A candle with some fun dip. A half-drank bottle of Hennessy. Which, where's this, when is this newspaper from? That's from today, I think. Did you just bring this? Yeah, I brought that in from the mailbox. Oh. No, maybe not. I don't know. That bottle of Hennessy, though, you know what I realized? No. Ever since 2M, we've had

every guest try it. So I think that maybe we should keep it around. And like every time a guest comes on, they got to have some Hennessy. The super mega Henny bottle. There's some good deals. Tell me some deals to organize your home. Custom closets, garage cabinets, home offices, laundries, pantries, hobby, hobby rooms, wall beds, wall organizers, a garage flooring, units, sliding glass doors, and sliding mirror doors.

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How is it? We can see how fucking dirty the water we've been drinking is from the tap. Let me see. Lead. Okay, so lead, we're good. There's.2 amount of lead in our water. But action level is 15, so it has to get to 15. Ooh, you could save $537 on auto insurance.

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All right. Find anything else juicy in those? Microbiological sampling results. Stop tickling my... Stop, dude. Okay, so really really no microbiological

no E. coli in our water yeah so that's good poop feces don't see that well actually disinfection byproducts and disinfectant residuals total triholomethanes let's see how we're doing.

Okay. So, 13 is the highest for total triholomethanes. We got eight. Whoa. By drinking water disinfection. And then, let's see. Oh, this one's high. Chloramines, which I'm guessing is chlorine and shit.

The highest says 3.3. We got two. And then bromate, when you're mating with your bros, we got 1.4. And the highest is 4.2. Oh, that's- Oh, God. Uh-oh. Detection of contaminants with secondary drinking water standards. Aluminum,

chloride, color odor. Oh, shit. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let me see if there's anything that's, like, alarming in here. Okay, that one's pretty high. What is that? Total dissolved solids. Runoff or leaching from natural deposits or seawater influence. Industrial waste. You know what's in the

ocean? Poop. Well, listen to this. Industrial waste, the highest number is 215. Got 92. So there is some industrial waste. And that's parts per million. So we're drinking some pee? Yeah. Oh, this one's really high.

Specific conductance. Substances that form ions in water. Sea flu or influenza. I don't give a fuck about that. Is there any... I'm just looking for... Whoa, what the fuck? What? What happened? Dude!

Radionuclides. Uranium. The highest is 14. Our drinking water is 8.9 uranium. They make bombs out of that, don't they? What the fuck, dude? The fuck? 8.9?

That's, dude, that's a little too... Just go look in your water report. They're trying to make us all individual nuclear explosives so they can just drop human bodies, which are the most... what we have a wealth of in america dude that's that's a lot of uranium dude that's that that's that's more than than half of of the the limit oh wait is this this is a burbank news newsletter oh what's going on in our community? I'm reading the best Burbank newsletter, which is the water in Burbank.

Summer 2021. That's the water report for, I guess that, man, the fucking uranium in the water. That was the biggest shocker to me. And it comes from erosion of natural deposits. There's no byline. It's not even for any of these. There's no way to see a byline. What's a byline?

By the author of the article. Oh. Like who wrote these articles? Yeah. Mr. Burbank wrote them. Eddie Burbank. I was going to give credit. Or maybe it's not that type of thing.

Let's see. Take out trash. Over the past year, many of us have been supporting our local restaurants and taking a break. Yeah, this sounds like something. I don't know. Or maybe they want this. Like this is coming from Mr. Burbank himself. This is Mr. Burbank.

This isn't like a local paper or anything. You know, EB. Can't say his name a third time on the podcast because he'll be here. Whoa! Ryan just threw the newsletter and it landed standing up against his drink. Pretty cool. That's stiff. Thanks, man.

Some of you guys might have seen EB on Twitter getting real upset that he can't get verified time and time again. That's actually because of us. So we have connects at Twitter, and it's a joke. We just tell him not to. Just don't do it.

It's not hurting anyone. It's not like... Just don't do it. Just don't verify him. So Ryan and I up on the hilltop with our check marks looking down. Because we go to those parties every month. The influencer, you have to have the blue check mark verified. That's mainly why he wants it.

He pretends like he's like, oh, I just want it. I don't really care. He wants it so he can come to the influencer parties. Because when you get to the door, they check if you have a check mark. And if you don't, you don't even get to the second gate. You have to get to the first gate where they check it. Then you've got to walk about half a mile through the property to the second gate. And then if anyone recognizes you as you're going through that walk, then you're allowed in.

But if no one recognizes you on that kind of like boardwalk, you know, half mile walk to the actual property, then you have to turn around. They're like, all right, send your application. And that's because there's people that are verified with like 2,000 followers. You don't know who the fuck they are. So if one of those guys, like, I'm going to go to one of these verified parties, goes in, don't recognizes them, turn away.

But when Ryan and I go, every time. We get swamped. They're chasing us. We have to run. It's like the Beatles. I mean, I guess it would be at the benefit because then EB would be one of those people that would help us get recognized. But I don't think I have the courage to like admit that I, you know. Well, I don't.

Maybe one or two people would recognize him, which is the way, you know, would still get him in. But, you know, there's a lot of people there. Yeah. They would care about us man it's like Beatlemania when they see us girls are passing out did you notice how venomous Twitter was in their response to them how mean and heartless they were

yeah that was cold man Twitter really clapped back at EB they did he who shall not be named at least for the third time not in this specific one I don't want to fucking risk it you know

the planets are aligned and you don't want to test it when that shit's going on what is it the stars are aligned or the planets you know I just can't remember which is aligned one of them you can check it right there see they're not aligned

Neptune is in retrograde dude dumbass that's why everything bad's been happening to you Pluto's a planet Pluto's a planet it is they reinstated it didn't they then why planet X isn't real

planet X isn't real planet X isn't real there's more planets beyond Pluto we just don't know about. Because they have such ecliptic orbits. Then if they exist, why don't we know about them? Fuck. We can see into other solar systems.

Why can't we see what's in ours? That is kind of weird that we can detect planets light years away, but we still have not found everything in our solar system. I mean, they're small. It's just goofy, man. I mean, there's a... Like a... Not a micro planet, but there is like a moon type thing

that's bigger than Mercury, but it's not considered a planet because I think it... I don't know, dude. I said earlier, I was like, I know a lot about space. I'm now embarrassing myself Yeah

I had a dream last night We were doing a Super Mega Live show And we were about to go on And we had nothing planned So pretty much just what What really happened I thought you were gonna say So far of course

But it was really scary I'm just sweeping away Just sweeping away the Fun dip I'm trying to see I'm trying to get it collected Get a little razor blade Razor blade Get a little razor blade. Razor blade.

Get a little razor blade, dude. Ron, what are the odds you have to snort a line of fun dip? Wouldn't that go into my lungs? Yes. That's not good. But it can't be worse for you than, like, snorting drugs. You're right. Which I have done a lot of.

Dude, don't. Well, I almost brought him up again. I was going to say, you know. Quaaludes? Well, EB. Yes. Well, I almost brought him up again. I was going to say, you know. Quaaludes? Well, EB. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He made us try it once.

I didn't like it. You didn't like it. But he pushes it on people to do the Quaaludes. And they're expired, too, because they don't make Quaaludes anymore. So they're more potent. Yep. And I don't know. He's just got a drug problem.

EB just needs to get rid of his needles, get rid of his trays, and just kind of like just flatten out for like a week or two just at least a week you know he's been strung out lately and then you know for the good graces if that happens then we'll probably we'll talk to twitter a little bit maybe but I don't know it's just kind of funny

even if he cleans up his act it's still funny to me you know oh fuck dude there's a big box of girl scout cookies in front of me I just noticed thin mints fun to me, though. You know? Oh, fuck, dude. There's a big box of Girl Scout cookies in front of me. I just noticed. What kind? Thin mints?

Thin mints. Ooh-wee. Ooh-soo-wee. Soo-oo-ee. Yoo-ee. If I was a Union soldier and I'm in the woods at night

and I hear a group of Confederates running through the woods coming close or doing their little battle cries, I'd be fucking terrified I'd be like it's like monsters coming

it's a pig call dude we watched that video yesterday of like the pig call tournament yeah I've been doing this since I was a little boy and I studied under a master doing all these weird fucking sounds pig pig pig pig come here pig, pig, pig. Come here, pig.

Here, pig. It was really good. Layton put it on. It was great. That's good. Now I know how to call your mom to bed. That was a zinger, man. That's a good one.

That one I can't be mad at. That was good. Thanks, man. That's a good one. That one I can't be mad at. That was good. Thanks, man. That's really good. You know, I try not to be so disrespectful sometimes. Well, I don't know. I don't think she still listens to the podcast because I haven't heard her bring it up in a while. She's retired now.

My mom definitely still brings up the podcast and watches. She posts pictures with our merch. I talked on my phone with my mom this morning. She brought that up. Why doesn't your mom do that? Is she not as supportive as my mom, I guess? No, she's not. Hmm. I wish she was, but she,

my mom's like, I saw Cecile posting some pictures in her Ryan McGee shirt and pictures of the July calendar. Yep. I haven't seen them, but that's what my mom said. She was wearing the Ryan McGee shirt. pictures of the July calendar. Yep. I haven't seen them, but that's what my mom said. She was wearing the Ryan McGee shirt. Not the Matt Watson shirt. No, no, no, no, no, no.

She wouldn't be caught dead. Your mom didn't buy the Matt Watson shirt? I sent her one. Really? Did she not wear it? Because it's a gift. You know what? That's actually funny that you mentioned that

I have not right you should call her up and see what's going on with that I have too big of a fear that maybe I didn't actually send it and she's like you never sent me a package and then I'm gonna be like no I did I definitely did odds are you ask your mom

to take a picture of herself wearing your shirt you just do it now let's give her a call and see yeah it's your mom like hey mom to take a picture of herself wearing your shirt. You just do it now? Let's give her a call and see. Yeah, it's your mom. Like, hey, can you take a picture of yourself in the NASCAR shirt? And that will confirm if I sent it to her. Mama?

Yes, Matthew. Yeah. Hello? Mama? Hi, honey. Yeah. Hello. Mama. Hey, honey. What's happening? Not much. I'm just heads up.

I'm recording a podcast right now, but I had a question. Would you be able to take a picture of yourself wearing the Matt Watson? Not for the podcast. No, we need you to wear like the Matt Watson NASCAR merch shirt. Would you take a picture of yourself wearing that one that I sent you? We wouldn't post the picture anywhere. You didn't send me one of those. Yes, I did. Well, I never got it.

All right, Mom. I love you. Hope you're having a good day. Well, I guess I didn't send my mom one. So what other things has Matt Watson Claimed to have done And then ultimately not have done I don't think he ever met George Bush

I have proof of that one I have a letter from the governor That said they're thanking me I don't think Super Meg is real It's a figment of your imagination Could you imagine like how weird it would be If someone heard this conversation And like fell asleep woke up the next morning It's a figment of your imagination Could you imagine like How weird it would be if someone was Like heard this conversation and like

Fell asleep woke up the next morning Like we just deleted our channel and everything Like we tried to scrub as much as we could Like what the fuck Like they can't find anyone talking about it online I know like we just delete the subreddit Delete everything Maybe the internet would be better if SuperMega never existed

We'll penis anus ourselves. That's the voice as that's the voice of the villain in our big movie. Who's played by? Markiplier. He would play a great villain. I'm not going to lie, wouldn't he?

He's big. Their views have been reduced to atoms. Their views have been reduced to atoms. Their views have been reduced to hundreds of thousands. Consistency is normalcy. Consistent uploads is key, boys. And what we have here is... Can you put on some pants Mark

what we have here is a failure to upload yo mama when he casts lightning bolts I wouldn't be surprised if Markiplier could shoot lightning bolts out of his hands

honestly with all the soul-searching he does, he's got to have some sort of mental energy built up. You can tell in his forehead veins. Well, that's the electricity going through. Because he can charge it up and fire a lightning bolt. He throws lightning bolts like Hercules. Zeus? Zeus?

Zeus, yeah. Hercules is Zeus' son. Well, he should be able to throw What? Zeus? Did Zeus throw light? Zeus, yeah. Hercules is Zeus' son. Well, he should be able to throw light in both, too. Isn't that genetic? But he's a half-breed. Oh, okay, never mind. Zeus went down and fornicated with some humans. God damn it.

He pulled a god. Or, I think, I don't know, in the Disney one, they make him just drink a bottle that takes away his god, or half of his godness. I think Zeus had sex with his wife in the movie. Zeus had sex? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he had a lot of sex. Okay, I gotta rethink.

Jesus didn't, though. Pussy. You know he got some pussy at least once. No way. There's no way. Jesus, what? Wasn't he like 33 when he died? There's no way that man got to 33 without some pussy.

How can you fuck a pussy when you are one? Stop. That's what Christ was talking about. And seriously, how the fuck? Dude, imagine going to 33 and having no pussy. Smash cut to like one of the listeners right now. Just like put his head down on his desk. Picture of Jesus checking his manicure while he's being crucified

now that's bottom energy classic callback classic super mega moment battle for bikini bottom play the new one it's the same thing it just looks slightly different and we'll say earlier this morning you were asking me why was May 2019 our biggest spike in subs

ever I looked back it's because that's when we started Spongebob battle for bikini bottom so maybe we should play it again Why was May 2019 our biggest spike in subs ever? I looked back. It's because that's when we started SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom. So maybe we should play it again. Dude, you know how many people we could actually just probably copy the audio from that and just put it over new gameplay and they wouldn't even notice? We just have to talk over someone else's gameplay. Because we don't even talk about the games. Sorry. GD F word.

Fuckers. Yeah, but still, GD is what pissed me off. I'm sorry, dude. I feel dirty even saying GD. I mean, it's implying the same thing, so is it even any better just to say the initials?

No, it's not. It's the exact same thing as saying the actual swear. I like when someone says goddamn on the radio or TV, they censor God. It's like, god damn it. Can you believe that's what the liberals are doing? They're censoring the word God on television. Those are the right-wingers who don't want kids listening to it

because they don't want their little babies to be sinners. Here's an interesting question that someone asked me this week. Okay. Do I get to answer it? Yeah. Is it a question you're posing or just a question that you're posing and then you're going to give your, like. Well, I've answered it. I'm curious about you.

Now, neither of us at this point in our lives plan to or want to have children. Correct. We've said, but if you did have kids, would plan to or want to have children. Correct. We've said, but if you did have kids, would you swear in front of your children? Yeah. Not like all the time, but I like wouldn't beat myself. I wouldn't make it a point now. Like, whoa, I let them know what words are not good to say around like family and stuff. I had the same answer.

I think I would. I think when they're like elementary school, I'd try to not do it a lot just so they don't go saying it. But like when they're older, it's like, I definitely tone it down. Once they understand

like the words and the power behind the F word. I rarely hear my dad cuss. Same. I don't hear my dad. But I like, I'll say something

during a phone call and I'll be like, same. But I'm usually good. I'll like replace it with like frickin or gosh darn I just try to do I just try to go PG with it yeah I feel a little awkward surrounding my dad

my mom swears like a damn sailor so I my mom's the one who taught me most of the curse words I know to this day she taught you how to have sex too I have a fucking like oh I just said a swear word right there. Sex? Mm-hmm. Basically, I feel fine swearing around my mom,

because she swears around me. It's mutual understanding. My dad, though, I hear him swear every now and then, but, like, when I'm on the phone, and I'll be talking about something, like, ah, you know, it's fucking stupid, I'll, like, I'll instantly be like, ah, fuck, I shouldn't have said that.

It's like, I know, he that he says it too but it's like my dad doesn't give me a reaction if I do slip up he doesn't give me a reaction but it's like I can feel it kind of for me it's just like ah don't do this he doesn't talk like I do he has a very calm manner of vocabulary

I think that saying swear words like viewing saying swear words as immoral is, like, it just feels so dumb and outdated. Like, obviously you shouldn't use swear words, like, to hurt someone or, well, unless it's EB. Or, like, there's situations where you're not going to use swear words. But it is crass. It's crass because we say it's crass. I mean, yes, but, like, then those words would have no meaning if they weren't crass it's crass because we say it's crass i mean yes but like then those words would have

no meaning if they weren't crass that's true i i just think like like the reason it feels so good to say them is because they are crass fuck yeah it does feel good really does feel good sometimes i think because i grew up so straight it's not saying swear words until like 8th grade or something. Sometimes at 25, I have realizations like, oh my god, I'm an adult. I can just swear whenever I want. And it like feels cool. I wish I could remember like back when I started to say curse words.

Because I definitely became, I think it was in elementary school. For me, it was a week where I felt like I was a big sinner. I was like, oh jeez, what am I doing? What am I becoming? And now I do it for a goddamn living, fuckers. Yep. So it was just a waste of time and moral integrity boosting. Are we, would you say that we are heavy cursors?

Yes. Are we? I'm definitely a heavy cursor. Do we fucking swear a lot? I have something in my throat. Fuck. What fucking shit's in your throat, dude? Huh? What fucking shit's in your throat, dude? Huh?

What fucking shit's in your throat, you dick? Whatever you put in there, Latin. What were you asking? What were you asking? I don't remember, actually. I don't fucking remember, asshole. Oh, you're saying, like, do you see us as big cursors? Yeah.

I do. We're potty mouths. I guess I do, but I guess everyone else I know cusses the same amount, so it doesn't feel like it. We're not going to, like, fucking dinner parties with people, you know? Oh, you cunts! Yeah, we're not like... That's a good one. We're not bursting in doing a, pulling a Larry David.

You pussy! Dude, what I was pulling a Larry David. You pussy. Dude, what I was thinking about Larry David. He starts crying. Curb's such a good show. He made that like one year after Seinfeld. Because he's a genius. He has not taken like a break. Who's Jerry Seinfeld?

A character that Larry David came up with? But a man who finds beautiful romantic love with a high schooler at the age of 35. Now, Ryan, I'm sick of you slandering Jerry Seinfeld with these true statements. Christopher Nolan was right. Love is the extra dimension. It travels through space and time. Yeah, if you've seen Interstellar. And in Jerry's case, a few 13 years.

But in Interstellar, most people miss this. So, yeah, they're like, oh, the point of the movie was that love is, like, beyond dimensions. It can travel through dimensions. The deeper message was that, like, all ages should be able to love all ages. That's what that means. Oh, sorry. 17 years, Jerry. 17?

Yeah, 17. Double her age, actually. Yeah. Oh. Oops. 17 years, Jerry. 17? Yeah, 17. Double her age, actually. Yeah. Oh. Oops. Whoops. I thought she was 71. Read the numbers backwards.

Yeah. Dyslexical Jerry. There I go again. There I go again. I have deja vu. I feel like we just made that same bit within the past 10 episodes or five episodes. What? Jerry Seinfeld?

Jerry Seinfeld slipping up in the same way, saying 71. I feel like that was in a Sonic Let's Play. Okay. I've really got a bad cough right now. What's wrong? Well, I went to several clubs because I wanted to test out this theory of the Delta Strain to see if it was real. And so, I guess we'll find out soon. I took a test.

Yeah? Yeah. When did the cough start? Just a few moments ago. Before the podcast. Like, it started to pick up. Okay. So.

How are you feeling? You feel fine? Yeah. Can you smell and taste okay? okay oh i can still smell and taste the clubs if you know what i mean yeah oh yeah yeah yeah that that scent does not wash off no that sticks around for a couple days you know i'm smoking cigars all night baby i'm wearing sunglasses indoors smoking cigars indoors and i'm busting the nut indoors sometimes outdoors they don't let me in the club because of my flip flops.

I was about to say, last time you did it outdoors, they didn't let you back in. Well, it's because they didn't allow anyone with flip flops and gym shorts in. I was like, you know what? I'm going to bust a nut on the side of your building. You had cum down your gym shorts. Very visible. And the club's at blacklight, so it glows. That's why they didn't let you.

It wasn't the gym shorts and the flip flops. Well, it was that too, but it was mainly because of the cum. I really, uh... I went to a club once with... Once? Well, I've been to clubs many times. I remember one time, the worst time I ever went was probably with Eddie Burp. No, Eddie, no!

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