supermegashow - EP 253 - Funny Pirate Stories

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

We tell some GREAT pirate stories and then ramble on about some other stuff. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Maple syrup. We love you. But Canada is way more. It's poutine mixed with kimchi, maple syrup on hollow Halo. Montreal-style bagels eaten in Brandon, Manitoba. Here, we take the best from one side of the world and mix it with the other. And you can shop that whole world right here in our aisles.

Find it all here with more ways to save at Real Canadian Superstore. Hey, everyone. Happy Halloween. It is not Halloween, Matthew. I just tricked so many people, dude. They're like, whoa, what the fuck? No, it's October already? That's crazy.

It's just, it's Christmas though. Yep, Merry Christmas everyone. Which is even more exciting. So this is our holiday episode and today, hold up one second. Hold up, wait one second. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Today, hold up one second. Hold up. Wait one second. I just realized something, man. Interesting Christmas facts.

Christmas is an annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. Primarily on December 25th as a religious and cultural celebration by billions of people around the world. Wait, primarily? December 25th. That means there are people that do Christmas on not December 20th. Christmas Eve. Okay, cool. The Eve of Christmas.

You know what? Christmas is so big, it gets its own holiday the day before. To celebrate just the excitement of Christmas. I know. Same with fucking 4 fourth of july this year man there you know it was on a sunday and then monday the fifth people all had off work yep because it was it was the observation of independence and a week before and like a week before the fourth fireworks were going off every day at random times scared the shit out of me

honestly like then they all got it out on the fourth and then a few slipped out on the fifth and continue to slip out every now and then in my neighbor well my neighbor i've always heard kind of like around summertime and i hear yeah people just get their hands on some illegal fireworks and you gotta shoot those off you know what's funny is uh give people used to fireworks they're not then they're gonna get used to gunshots and they won't tell the difference. That was a conspiracy theory. Because remember during COVID, there were nonstop fireworks all the time. And it was like, they're prepping for the Civil War.

They're getting used to gunshots. On the 4th of July at nighttime, on the app that I use to see around LA what's going on, what kind of incidents are taking place. like to see around LA, like what's going on, like what kind of incidents are taking place. It was just nonstop, like shot, shots fired or shots heard it. Blank, blank address shots. It's like it's the 4th of July. They're not shot. It was like 50 alerts of like shots reported. Maybe a lot of crime is happening under the guise of the fireworks.

That is a good time to shoot someone is the 4th of July, because if you go out like you don't need to hide the sound, you can go you can go somewhere and shoot someone and no one's gonna be like was that a gun well i guess clearly a lot of people did think that but yeah it's fourth of july dude like that's the time to shoot someone that or new year's eve shoot them right when the clock hits and or on they or on their birthday so they stay young okay that's a paul walker impression that I'm working on it's pretty good you should shave your head and look like him what it do

he's a hard accent to get down have you ever thought about imitating more of his lifestyle Paul Walker's yeah no nothing really interests me except for maybe going fast you know what I'm saying Nothing really interests me, except for maybe going fast. You know what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying, man. He's in those Fast and Furious movies. He is. He's fast and furious in those movies. Did you, have you seen F9? Nope. I don't think I want to, Matt. I haven't seen any of them.

Doesn't have Paul Walker in it. I actually, I, doesn't he, he like CGI have a cameo or something? Hey, spoilers. And it's still not him. It's still like his brother acting like them putting his face on his brother or something. Really? I don't know. You probably don't even see his face. It's probably, it's probably like as we got one more guest, the door opens, everyone turns

and you don't see who it is. That's probably what it is. Yep. I'm back. And it's making people money. Yeah, it is, man. We were a family. Those memes are big now.

They are, man. Sorry, they're big as we're recording this podcast. We're also recording this podcast on July 6th. Recorded two podcasts in one day, baby. On December 5th. December 25th, sorry. Well, you know, there's Christmas in July. That is true.

I remember one time I turned on the radio in July and I heard Christmas music playing. I was like, what the hell? And they're like, it's Christmas in July. I was like, what? I don't want to listen to christmas music in july like i changed the station it feels wrong you know it's like putting on wet underwear it doesn't feel right maybe if you put have them on long enough you'll get used to it so like maybe if i have the maybe if i have the uh christmas music long on long enough i'll get used to it but it's like

man i just i was not a fan yeah that's nuts i can't see you you're blocking your face with your knee i know i know i need eye contact i saw you trying to peek over at one point i was trying man i was trying to peek my little face over there seen any good movies lately i watched tenacious d in the pick of destiny last good movie it's great i haven't seen it in so long. The ending's great. Yeah, it's fantastic. I didn't realize some of the- When they get in a rock off with the devil.

Oh, yeah. That's such a fucking good- I love Jack Black, dude. Did you see his penis and his wet tighty-whities in that one scene? They're not wet. Sorry, whatever. But yes, when he does the cock- He uses his cock to disarm the lasers yeah jack black's

such a good actor like he has so much energy like it's crazy how much like do you think he's do you think coke was a popular thing in jack black's i was wondering that just because i was watching i was like how does he fucking have that level of energy for every take have you seen him on tiktok i know we mentioned this every time we bring up Black Jack. Black Jack. Black Jack. No, I haven't seen his TikToks. Jablinski? Yeah, Jablinski Games.

Man, dude, I want to, like, that's my dream collab. Let me check out Jablinski Games. My dream collab is to do something with Jack Black. What's Jablin? What's JB up to? No, come on. Finish it. What's J-Blin? Jables? Oh, I haven't...

Jablinski? He's a new name. He handles paparazzi really well. He'll like run away from them but make it funny. What's he doing, dude? What's he doing, dude? What's he doing? Is that two Jack Blacks?

Yeah. And then... What? He has an amazing voice. Did this just take me to some other website? Blackjack.com What is this? Look at this.

I click on this video in videos and uploads. Takes me to this fucking thing. No, it's a YouTube short. That's their own version of TikTok they're doing. Dude, YouTube could... I don't know. That's what the algorithm's grabbing right now. We should upload some, dude.

We uploaded one. RyanMilk.mp4 or whatever we did didn't we upload that no no that wasn't a short i mean it technically is no the shorts are a separate type of upload like like a tiktok style but they show up in your regular video uploads feed that's weird man the times is changing they are changing times is changing for those super mega boys looks like it's about time we uh you know dude been doing this five years i think maybe it's time that we we you know bow down and let the new generation of of creators you know step into the scene matt scene. The new TikTokers to take over. People don't want us anymore, dude.

They don't want our style of comedy. They don't want two fucking 20-something-year-old assholes complaining about shit on a podcast. What's wrong? You look sad. What's on your phone that's so sad? I just, uh, I was wondering if you could

answer this person's question. Sure. Okay, hold up. Let me get it, let me get it already, okay? I'm always down to answer any questions. Or if you could give them some advice. Okay. Okay?

So, let me get back up to it, because I was just making sure they're, you know. Okay. Okay. They say, we noticed a brigantine sat anchored for quite a long time near the edge of the map curious we decided to sail over to see what loot they had we also had one powder keg so sinking was definitely a suggestion as we got closer it seemed no one was on board and yet their ship had a lot i set down the powder keg and searched the ship while my crew repositioned to come back for the loot while under the deck I noticed they were doing a tale, the sunken pearl. Part of me was keen to explode the ship, mainly because we had just been killed and sunk ourselves, so I was looking to take my anger out on someone less fortunate.

anger out on someone less fortunate. Having not yet done this tale, I assume part of this tale has the crew venture somewhere else, so instead of sinking them and being a dick when there's no one to defend their ship, I told my crew we would steal their loot and I would leave the powder keg on top of their wheel to let them know someone had boarded

them, but let their ship continue to be in one piece. Would be nice to hear from them, but regardless, I hope they enjoyed the tale and perhaps disappointed to find their treasure stolen, but at least reassured to know their ship was left untouched. Now, what I'm gonna ask, do you think he did

a no-no or do you think he was justified? Um... I think he's still an asshole, man. But that's also the name of the game. It's not called Sea of Friends. Sea of Thieves! Yeah, okay, yeah. I think it's still an asshole, man. Why? But that's also the name of the game. It's not called Sea of Friends. Sea of Thieves. Yeah, okay, yeah. I think it was actually pretty nice

that he didn't blow it up and just took their loot. Yeah. Let's write a pirate story, dude. Okay. Word by word. Arrgh. Matey.

Avast. Land. Ho. I. Am. A. Pir ho. I am a pirate who does piracy a lot. Here me is. Here me is. Where is my super? That's a good ass pirate.

That's a full ass kids book right there. That was a good pirate story, dude. That's a full-ass kid's book right there. That was a good pirate story, dude. I'll start with a sentence, and then we can go on. One day on the open seas, I was. One word. That's just the beginning. I was. Sailing.

My. Ship. On. Water. Very. Well. was sailing my ship on water very well suddenly big whale Bite. Me. Hard. Ouch! I screamed. Ouch! Ouch! I screamed again. As the pain shot up my...

Penis. The pain shot up my... Penis. Ouch! I yelled again. When whale went away and pain went felt. Pain went felt. He still felt the pain. Anyways. Tired.

Me. sleep now. It's a beautiful story. The end. Because it's like, did he just get tired and go to bed after a long thing? Or was he losing blood because of bites? You don't know. It's like, you have to decide for yourself. Tired me sleep now does sound like you're dying. Yeah.

But he also was speaking pirate and they didn't know full. They didn't know how to complete full sentence as well. That's true. They weren't very educated. They didn't have much education. They grew up on the high seas, just pillaging and looting and, and R wording things,

you know? So it's like pirates be crazy, man. Can we do another story and I'll start with a sentence? Yeah, let's do it. Matt had just recently been arrested for sexually harassing a woman at his workplace. He offered her...

This is compensation. Alright, let's go with it then he offered her compensation the end that's the best one yet you can put the three of these into a pirate children's book collection. You can sell that as a book, dude.

Oh, dude. Put that one on Amazon Books for free so children can read it. It's going to be a great book. The Great Book of Pirates. It has pop-up pictures. And the last one is like me getting put into a police car. You're going like in and out. Like a woman giving her statement to the police.

And then like me with a lawyer in a suit in court, like you're given a settlement. The end. It's like a lone jail cell. My head in my hand. It's like I'm bobbing my head up and down crying. Or. Or I could be, you know, bobbing my head up and down off someone's belt buckle in prison. You know what I'm saying?

Like in Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. They were about to have a cock meat sandwich. Love that movie, man. Actually, the belt buckle thing. They put their mouths close to that cock meat sandwich. I think they put their mouths on that. Did they not? Did they put it on it? I thought they put it like really near.

Maybe Harold got his tongue on it a little. I could see Harold getting his tongue on that thing, you know? I mean, Harold always struck me more as the one that would be willing to put a cock. That movie, I remember I watched at my friend's house when I was like 14 on DVD. And it was the uncensored version. No way. And it shows boobies vagina

she has like her boobs dyed to be like a design and I was like whoa was it dyed like the American flag it was it was the American flag cause Neil Patrick Harris the crazy sumbitch in those movies goes on a bender he's wild man

can't stop that Neil Patrickris it was i mean that movie was legend wait for it Dairy Yep It is a good movie It's a great ass movie man Really good Stop dude Just smash the candle with your foot

Bleeding everywhere Sick of that shit The Hennessy is actually more than No it's about half gone Who drank it? Odds are I take a sip out of the Hennessy bottle 3, 2, 1, 2 No Hennessy for you

Odds are I have to take a sip out of the Hennessy bottle 3, 2, 1, 2 Okay Odds are I have to take a sip out of the Hennessy bottle 3, 2, 1, 1. Okay. Odds are I have to take a sip out of the Hennessy bottle. Three. Three, two, one, one. Oh, damn, dude. Take a sip.

Oh, man. I didn't want to do this. I'm sorry, man. Smells good, yeah? Last person to take a sip was Justin. His first sip of liquor was Hennessy. How's it taste? Gets a good burn right oh yeah

some good cognac there's anything I love it's just that that's very pirate sounding like you're about to have some rum on the open seas I've got a jar of rum guess what's inside

I can feel it corrupting my innards I do love that feeling of like the hot warmth going down your chest it is warm Dirt rum. Dirt rum. Guess what's inside. I can feel it corrupting my innards. I do love that feeling of like the hot warmth going down your chest. It is warm. Yeah. I think that's why Russians drink so much. That's why they drink out in the ice and go out there in their Speedos and slip around with each other.

Well, I mean, if you're drunk enough. Butter themselves up. It's not going to feel that cold if you're super drunk. Even though alcohol lowers your body temperature. Do you know that? So technically you're even more cold. You just don't realize it. I always feel a lot more warm when I drink though. So that's weird. Maybe it's because your body temperature do you know that so technically you're even more cold you just always feel a lot more warm when i drink though so that's weird maybe your body is heating up and that's probably why your body temperature is lower when you're lower but then your body in response is trying to heat itself up so that's maybe why you feel hot maybe i don't know

maybe who knows maybe alcohol does a lot to your system a lot that i didn't even know it did to your system it's poison i would never put that poison in my body ethanol it's just pure ethanol so i stopped drinking i switched over to meth no no it's good to have i heard it's good to have a handle at least once a month in the morning in the morning i handle i handle in the morning the best part of waking up is vodka in your cup or i don't even use the cups the bottles will you will you do me a favor man yeah what's up um will i do you a favor is it like you get a snack get some more ads in here angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled

professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that

and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Is Folgers good? I mean, it's coffee. It's just basic coffee. How about Folgers versus Maxwell House? I like... I do like fucking...

Is that what it's called? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I've... Because there's the red container. And then the blue. The blue container. Matt and Ryan from Super Mega.

I don't think... I do like... I don't like it. Folgers is just like an easy quick cheap coffee and I don't I don't dislike Folgers Maxwell House I don't know if I've ever remembered having now let's throw in some Starbucks what do you what do you think is better now Starbucks coffee itself I'm not a big fan of Starbucks hot coffee. We're moving. We're moving. Starbucks hot coffee, I think they will.

We're talking about if you got it from the store, the grounds. Have you had it? Yeah. Well, it depends on what. I think Starbucks roast the beans a little too hard. I'm talking about each one of these is just your average cup of joe that Matt would pour himself. I'd get Folger still. Okay. Because Starbucks roast their beans too hard okay they're cold brews i do like their

their nitro now let's introduce phillips phils no what's what's phils phils yeah yeah phils let's introduce phils you still going with folgers i haven't had fills enough to really know you know I can't make an informed decision on that now McDonald's coffee McDonald's has really good coffee the McCafe I'm going with McDonald's I'm not gonna lie dude McDonald's has pretty good coffee don't they sell ground shit

at grocery no they do yeah they have the K-Cups and everything I've had them like I got the K-Cups once I don't have a Keurig anymore but I need to get a coffee. I got the K-Cups once. I don't have a Keurig anymore, but I did get a coffee maker. More like the KKK Cups. The KKK Cup. The K... Yeah.

Something like that. Something like that. Because they're white and if they had a point to them, they'd look like little hoodsmen. That's smart. Little hoodsmen. Hoodsmen. There's a couple hoodsmen in the woods. They're coming with torches.

Dude, I'd piss my pants if I was walking in the woods as a kid and all of a sudden I saw a few hoodsmen out there. Dude, hoodsmen in the woods they're coming with torches i'd say dude i'd piss my pants if i was walking in the woods as a kid and all of a sudden i saw a few hoodsmen out there dude hoodsmen like the kkk looks scary yeah like like there's something about the point of the like the cloak like the the hat well if you remember it used to be just like these fucking like plungers they'd put on their head you remember like what they used to look like it wasn't like this big ceremonial looking thing it was just kind of like a sack tied tight with like just a stick or whatever they could find to make it point. They do look, I don't know what it is, but the fucking, it's scary. Like the triangular head.

It's very like alien like. Cone heads. Yeah. That's why it scares me. It's because I'm terrified of the movie Cone Heads. And when I see the KKK, it's not the racism that scares me. It's the resemblance. That reminds you of the cone. Because any one of those Klansmen, any And when I see the KKK, it's not the racism that scares me. It's the resemblance of the Coneheads. Because any one of those Klansmen, any one of those hoodsmen could take it off and it's one of the Coneheads.

And that's what's most scary to me. How the Coneheads perfectly fit in that society. Because if we saw a Conehead walking around, we would absolutely shun them and say, what the fuck? They'd probably be sent to a government lab. But if they're like, oh, I'm part of the kkk and they're always wearing the what if what if the kkk is just a front for coneheads to try to like try to just survive i got a question maybe they're misunderstood you know so how do you like your your uh moral corruptness do you like it blatant like the KKK or do you like it more insidious like Scientology? Like more in the background, like which is more harmful?

Yeah, I think it's insidious because I think it's insidious more shit gets done. You know, we're like, like, you know, like, I think, you know, like passing insidious laws is easier if it's quiet than out in the open. Right. But I think they're both dangerous because when it's out in the open, then people will gravitate towards it. Insidious is insidious. Is insidious.

I think bad, bad is bad. Is insidious. Is insidious. Insidious is insidious. Is insidious. Insidious, insidious,

insidious, insidious. That was in the, I think it's one of the first trailers that came out for insidious. Is insidious. Insidious is insidious. Is insidious. Insidious, insidious, insidious, insidious. That was in the, I think it's one of the first trailers that came out for insidious. It was always like insidious is insidious is insidious is insidious. That's crazy, man. That's so many words. That's so many fucking, so many words for one trailer. Trailers that always stuck with me.

Was the promethaz the Promethazine Promethazine? Prometheus that's cough syrup Prometheus. It's always the ones that start with a red screen instead of a green one. You're like I'm gonna remember this cause I remember fucking. I don't see too many red band trailers coming out no

it's not as fun to be raunchy they don't make raunchy comedies anymore we'll show boobs at least once during this comedy. Role models, boobs at least once. Well, also back then, like the only place you could go to like get like that kind of R-rated comedy. Superbad? Superbad was R, but didn't have any boobs? I don't think so.

Tropic Thunder didn't have any boobs until the director's cut where they just just added Matthew McConaughey looking through a Playboy magazine or some shit. I was hanging out with someone last night, and I wanted to put on Tropic Thunder, and they were like, no. What? So we ended up watching Tenacious D, which is still good, but I wanted to watch. I haven't seen Tropic Thunder in a while. Tropic Thunder's fun. It's great.

I like it. It's a funny comedy, man. It's got all these big actors. I hate Tom Cruise, but I think it's so funny that he did that role. I just remember at that point in time, because he was just kind of known as the actor that my mom liked, that your parents liked. He's very handsome. Yeah.

And he's a good actor. He's in some of my favorite movies, like Eyes Wide Shut or Magnolia. He's great. I still want to see... Oh, what's the one where he's with Jamie Foxx, and like Eyes Wide Shut or Magnolia I still want to see what's the one where he's with Jamie Fox and he plays a hitman with gray hair the hitman's bodyguard no the hitman's bodyguard's

wife wife of the hitman's I've just seen so many billboards around LA for that I saw the first one I know what you're talking about what movie you are talking about I don't remember dude what's it called I saw the first one. I know what you're talking about. What movie you are talking about. I don't remember, dude.

What is it called? Oh. Not Crash. I know exactly what you're talking about. Marketing didn't really do a good job, did it? They're in the taxi. Yes. What's that movie where Will Smith's running from the government?

It's not an M. Night movie. Is it the... What? the one with Tom Cruise and uh Jeremy Smith no that's M Night Shyamalan of Steven Spielberg Tom Cruise has been in an M Night Shyamalan movie wait dude now I need to know this fucking it's not crash it's not drive it's it's collateral collateral that's it yeah it's collateral that's right i watched that movie like two years ago three years ago good fun i just want a fun yeah it's an action movie it's intense tom cruise plays a bad guy it's got it's got a really good climactic scene in it so it's a tom cruise plays stone cold killer huh he does yeah with gray hair i do think tom cruise is probably one of those celebrities that actually is a psychopath.

You know? Yeah. The Scientology stuff, the... I don't know. I don't know the... Well, I do know the man. I'm not allowed to talk about it in that... The lawyers... His lawyers said I can't mention that.

Just cut this out. I can't mention that I know him. No. His lawyers. Got it. The big ones. Once Scientology hired... I can't disclose I know him, so I actually cut that out. I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, I Scientology hired them. I can't disclose I know him.

So I actually cut that out. I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, I'll cut that out. I don't know him, but I think that if I knew him, he'd probably be an asshole. You know? And he'd probably like just have a weird like off presence. Yeah. Like when you're eating dinner with him, like no one's talking.

And it's just like him going, you know? Every now and then. That would just be weird if that happened. Like sitting in his chambers. Like imagine that just like crazy. He's at one end of the table and you're at the other and you're just cutting a steak and he's just. Good steak. It's funny that he did the movie Eyes Wide Shut because he's. Because he's so closely linked to Scientology. Yeah. It's like. It's funny that he did the movie Eyes Wide Shut because he's so closely linked to Scientology.

Yeah. It's like, it's almost like a biography. I said biology. Of who? L. Ron Hubbard? No, it's like a biography of Tom Cruise. Oh. Yeah.

That's a good ass movie though. There's another one that I watched, I think last year. What's the password? It's Joaquin Phoenix and... Oh, fuck. What's it? Philip Seymour Hoffman. It was kind of loosely based on Scientology.

The Master? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Paul Thomas Anderson movie? Yeah, yeah. Really good. Yeah. It is a really good movie. It's not my favorite PTA movie, but...

What's your favorite PTA movie but what's your favorite PTA movie Boogie Nights okay by far Boogie Nights is one of my favorite movies such a

such a such a good ass movie it is and Magnolia well it's like Magnolia's amazing too I still have to see Magnolia you haven't seen it?

no wait wait wait never mind I was thinking of Eyes Wide Shut for some reason Eyes Wide Shut is It's like, Magnolia's amazing too. I stopped to see Magnolia. You haven't seen it? No, wait, wait, wait. We saw it together, didn't we? I was thinking of Eyes Wide Shut for some reason. Eyes Wide Shut is a fantastic movie. It's long, but it's like, I had no interest in seeing it,

and then, I think one of the Tucker Brothers put it on one night, and I watched it, and I was like, this movie's fucking good. It's just about like, Illuminati stuff.

It's very scary. Let me see what the last movie I saw was. That was Kubrick's last movie, and he died like four days after he finished it. I think the Illuminati might kill him. I want to see Luca. The last movie I saw was A Quiet Place 2. I haven't seen anything in theaters since before COVID.

I might actually, I might go see Zola this Friday. Zola. Is that what it is? Zola? Luca? Noola? Luca? No, not Luca. I want to see Luca so bad. It's a... Yeah, Zola.

It's based off that Twitter thread. A waitress agrees to accompany an exotic dancer. The trailer looks pretty good. Her put-upon boyfriend and her mysterious and domineering roommate on a road trip to Florida to seek their fortune at a high-end strip club. It's based on a Twitter thread to Florida to seek their fortune at a high end strip club. It looks really,

it's based on, it's based on a Twitter thread, like a really long Twitter thread. Really? That was really famous. Yeah. The trailer looks great though. Look at all these movies.

I have no idea what, no sudden moves and has fucking, I don't hear about movies really anymore. Or no sudden move in the Heights. Honestly, the main way I hear about movies and now I was seeing billboards around la so it works hey maybe uh with them next year you might see some billboards around your city that maybe has some familiar faces on it dude this movie looks like ass man what okay i'm gonna show you the trailer and just look how uninteresting

not the trailer the poster just does that look interesting to you the tomorrow war starring Chris Pratt I feel like I've seen the same movie like 10 times everybody has seen this movie I want to see okay so an ordinary family man named Dan Forrester is recruited

by time travelers from 30 years in the future to fight in a deadly war against aliens because we're losing all of our people we got to go back in time recruited by time travelers from 30 years in the future to fight in a deadly war against aliens. Because we're losing all of our people. We got to go back in time and grab more soldiers. That's why it's called the Tomorrow War. Why don't they just go back in time and just stay there where there's no aliens yet? Just live in a constant loop.

The aliens show up. All right, time to go back. Like live in a nice loop of like 100 years. I think it is possible to go back in time, but I think that. Do you? I think. Well, obviously, we don't know how. I think it's I to go back in time, but I think that Do you? I think well, obviously we don't know how. I think it's, I think that there's a way, but I think that you enter like a new timeline. Like

it's not going to be like the same timeline. It branches off. Yeah. Like it's not like. Like in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Like if I traveled back in time right now and killed my dad like I would. The timekeepers would be so upset with you. They would. I'd still exist in that timeline. Like I'm not going to shoot my dad and then I instantly disappear from existence. In that timeline, my history is that I came from another timeline.

So my dad didn't even give birth to me in that timeline. But he still exists. Well, I kill him. Okay. So he doesn't – Now he doesn't exist after you killed him. Before he's able to impregnate my mother. You know?

Yeah, you're right. You still would exist in that timeline. It's not like if you kill you, then you're not, well. See, we see, time doesn't exist, Ryan. It's just a linear line to us. That's because that's the best way we can comprehend it. But the fourth dimension. So there's.

You can freely move through time. So that means as soon as you travel back in time, it's going to be impossible to get to the origin of that. Because now you're in a new stream of time and you can't like go forward or backward to the time that you came from because now you're on a new branch i don't know i i think it's probably just something we can't even comprehend like the way it would well i'm sure some people could but definitely not us matt maybe ding dong could not julian no julian has a has the yale degree That is true. He's a doctor. Ding Dong went to DeVry. So, I don't know.

I think time travels, I don't think we'll ever discover. I don't know. Maybe. I think that, see, for time travel, you'd have to be able to enter the fourth dimension. And that's how, our brains can't comprehend the fourth dimension, so we can't do it. We can understand what it would be, but we can't picture it. Unless you smoke hella DMT. Then you'll be taken to the fourth dimension and you'll meet super beings. And super mega.

Fourth dimensional beings you'll meet while you're on DMT. Dude, everyone says that. Everyone that smoked DMT says, I haven't smoked DMT. Yeah, but you know what that shit does to your brain? I got a book about the science of DMT. Boing, boing, boing. It does some, it does some. You're bouncing off the cuckoo banana walls, my brother.

It makes your, like your brain, so like under like a scanner, like your brain lights, like the part of your brain that lights up when it's under use. Like when you do scan someone's brain. Well, like, you know, like they can see like parts of your brain lighting up when there's activity what a photocopier no dude jesus christ with a big ass expensive machine with probably some uranium or some shit in it uh when you're on like psychedelics dmt like your brain like lights like all of it or like a lot of it so you're using like a lot more it's like the limitless it's why it's why you become so you access 100 of pill. It's why you become so open-minded. You access 100% of your brain. It's why you become so open-minded

when you take psychedelics. Because we only use 10% of our brain. Well, it's so weird how much you actually don't remember of the day when you think about it. Like, your brain throws away

most things. Yes, I know that's a myth. Stop writing that comment. Thank you. Well, now I'm still going to post it. Damn it. Someone paused it

right before you said that just to write the comment posted it and then went back up and you're like oh now you're embarrassed i'm gonna see a lot of edited oops or just deleted comments we can see which comments you delete guys exactly we're god when it comes to this stuff we see everything we go into the fourth dimension and we can go back in time and we can see before you deleted those fucking comments because we're smoking hella dmt joe rogan told me to and i did. Does Joe Rogan do DMT like often? Or is he just like, he had like a few experiences with it

and then he just talked about it forever and that's where the meme came from? I think he has a couple. I don't think he smokes it often. I don't think it's good for your brain to smoke something like DMT often. There's DMT vape pens. Oh my God, what?

Yeah, there's DMT vape pens. Like you get them online. Well, it's just a vape pen and then you put the DMT. I mean, you could vape crack. You can vape pens. Like, you get them online illegally. Well, it's just a vape pen, and then you put the DMT- I mean, you can vape crack. You can vape meth. Good to know. Dude, one of these days, Ryan, like, if you start, like, juuling, I'm going to just get,

like, a little DMT juul pod off the deep web and just switch it out one day where you're not looking. You're just like- How long does DMT last? Isn't it, like- It's, like, 10, 15 minutes, right? Oh, my God. It's that short?

Yeah, you go through a fucking, but it feels like forever. Well, you apparently like you enter it. Well, you got to smoke a lot to like break through and then you break through and then it's really like 10, 15 minutes, like the peak of it. And then like you come back to earth afterwards. But I know I have a lot of friends that have, that have done it and they said it was crazy. They said it was like one of the most like transcending like crazy experiences of their life. Because everyone

says the same thing that you go, you like break through like a tunnel and then there's like extra dimensional intelligent beings that talk to you on the other side. Everyone says that. I watched a Harvard talk about it. Like a Harvard lecture. Are they saying these beings are like, it's just cool because your brain does this.

Are they saying that these beings are reaching out to us when we do dmt because now we can finally see them and they're interested in conversation well some people believe that you know your brain evolves over time particle or things like dmt which is true open up smarter as we go on and things like dmt open up your brain to allow you to see beyond a little bit more. And the things on the other side have evolved to their brains be at that point. So they're already on the other side. We just can't see them with our brains. But when you smoke DMT, that's when it kind of opens your brain up.

They can see us? You're able to temporarily go to the other side. So we understand these beings? Telepathically. They speak English? Everyone says it's just telepathic. They don't speak. You just understand it.

Okay. I know someone, Eddie Burback, did it and was given a bunch of four-dimensional toys to play with to understand how they work. Did he bring any back?

Nope. Oh, you can't. No, you can't. But they said that they existed long before us and they've evolved to that point and one day we will get there too.

Aw. In a few million years. Yeah. Have you ever heard of the stoned ape theory? This is literally like, it sounds like a Joe Rogan podcast. The stoned ape theory. It's a theory that humans evolved so quickly. And so, cause you know, like nothing's even close.

We did it so quickly and became intelligent like that. Some people hypothesize that it's like, because primates like ate psychedelics and that like expanded their minds and consciousness to be able to comprehend more. And then that like, do you know how many videos of like dogs and stuff though, that like they find who have eaten mushrooms and are just like primates already had really, really advanced brains. Dogs didn't. True. Well I mean I mean

yes and no. I mean like it like accelerated the process of like. Dude we need to start giving DMT to whales. What happens if you give an animal DMT? I'm gonna look up whale. Have we ever given DMT to whales? They gave an elephant like 10,000 tabs of acid and it died from a heart attack.

We should try that. What's up, guys? Today, SuperMega's doing the 10,000 tabs of acid challenge. I think psychedelics are really cool. Oh, my God. This is actually a question Joe Rogan has stated before. Have we ever tried giving whales DMT? You're fucking with me. Is it really? Yeah. Joe Rogan has stated before. Have we ever tried giving whales DMT?

You fucking with me? Is it really? Yeah, someone put it in quotes, Rogan, have we ever tried giving whales DMT? And then someone else is like, what? Whoa. I think that psychedelics should be at least decriminalized so they can be used for research for like therapeutic stuff because there's like so much promising stuff there for like ptsd and you know stuff like that like depression psychedelic therapy so people do ketamine

ketamine clinics apparently that's like super depressive i i read i was reading about ketamine clinics recently because i i keep seeing the signs for them. I'm getting ads for them on Instagram. And I looked, I read, and apparently. You're going to show us a sign. It's one of the, like, apparently highest success rates of treating PTSD and depression and shit. They had a little center, like, right near College of Charleston. I think they were, like, funded through them in some way.

I mean, you can, in California, you can just go, you could just sign up and go do it. It's like a therapy session. And because I think ketamine makes your brain more like malleable. So you can kind of rewire. Give me some powder to snort, doc. They don't give you powder. They give you an injection. They don't give you powder anymore?

No, if they, if they prescribe it. They'll give you an injection and then they can prescribe it and then give you some powder. If they prescribe it, it's like a nasal spray. Yeah, it is. So. Ding, ding, ding. A ketamine inhaler, man. Let me get that K.

Let me enter that K hole, bro. Can I just eat it? Sprinkle it on a donut. I doubt that would taste very good. Well, the donut already has sugar and cinnamon on it. Academy is very bitter. So maybe it'll balance out to make a very neutral flavor you can't taste anything neutral donut hotel like the band you love neutral milk hotel

right what who neutral milk hotel the fuck is that you just pissed off all of 4chan's music board, Ryan. Oh, Jesus Christ. Have you ever listened to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea? Nope. Neither have I. It's one of those bands and albums that's like highly revered and it's like Yeah, I know music.

I mean, it's a good band, good album, but it's like Yeah, have they ever heard of the beatles probably not dude or aerosmith i want to go on try listening to some kiss and then tell me about music can you go on the 4chan music board and just post like a thing of kiss and it's like kiss is the best band in all of music history like go try listening some kiss jackass would they be upset yeah what if i People would start a fight with you. What if I just said, Kiss is better than the Aeroplanes,

whatever it's called. That'd be like, just like a picture with like Kiss and then like the greater than sign Neutral Milk Hotel and you're going to piss off a lot of people. Or like, just kiss over like most bands. And can I title the post,

Don't Shoot the Messenger? Or like, kiss over... Put put like kiss over the beatles i really do like it's just a weird comparison i know because they're not even like they're not even the same wheelhouse i mean i guess they're both boy bands yeah they're both rock bands technically uh yeah that's a that that's something that rock stars did because they're homophobic, didn't want to be called boy bands. They're still boy bands. They're rock bands, right? They're not boy bands. Unless there was a girl in there, it's a boy band.

Mm-mm. Yeah. You know what band? Okay, then One Direction's a rock band. They don't make rock. They rock out. They're a pop group. But they're rocking out.

Rocking out is a vibe. No, it's not. It's a state of being out is a vibe no it's not it's a state of being type of music it's a state of being rock and roll maybe the fourth dimension that's where you experience true rock only experience true rock and roll if you enter the fourth dimension which very few of us have compared

to the amount of people that have been alive on this but if you experience rock and roll while you're in the fourth dimension it's something else because you can you can feel and taste the music to smell it you can i don't look like interesting life stats like just just things just interesting little tidbits about follow uber facts on twitter i used to and then they started i i think they posted like two non-facts in a row yeah i actually i think i follow them right now i used to follow them and then they posted two non-facts in a row. Yeah, I actually, I think I follow them right now. I used to follow them and then they posted no non-facts.

Because some people would start to call them out in the comments and go, um, actually, that's not right. Some of the stuff Uberfacts posts, I'm like, is that true? Or is it just like a... Dude, I remember, like that's when I think Twitter was the most fun. When you were just following like a bunch of gimmick accounts and you would create little gimmick accounts, too. Yeah. But I guess people still do that a lot. It's just we don't. Well, I have a gimmick K-pop stan account where I've gone undercover into the BTS fan.

Have you? They have no idea that it's me. I have I have a you know, you've infiltrated. I have Jimin that it's me. I have a, you know. You've infiltrated their legion. I have Jimin as my picture. Are you asleep or so? I'm asleep. For canceling Jimin? There's thousands of us, dude.

Just ready to cancel Jimin on a moment's notice. Jimin, once the signal goes, Jimin is done. Juman. Juman. Juman is done, dude. I'm telling you, dude. Juman's a stand-up guy yeah he is because he has two legs he's sexy do you think jaman has a penis i don't think any of the k-pop stars have

penises do you think they cut them off so that they can't truly lust after the fans and then ruin i don't think they're allowed to date are they all right i don't know because i know with like japanese girl groups and shit, it's like K-pop groups. That's a really bad industry. Yeah, there's this K-pop girl who had to apologize for being seen leaving or going to a dude's house.

Yeah, it was a Japanese pop girl. She was seen going into some dude's house. So she shaved her head and made an apology. That sucks. that sucks. That sucks. Big balls, dude. Not little balls, big balls.

Big hairy balls, bro. That's why they just need to wear masks. The Japanese? The members of those groups. Oh. Like Dream. So no one actually knows

who they are so they can enjoy their life. Because that's what the mask is. That's what the point of the mask is. That. Oh. Like Dream. So no one actually knows who they are so they can enjoy their life. Because that's what the mask is. That's what the point of the mask is. That's what the mask is. Every time I hear that song I hear Damascus.

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Or one pride sale. An epic 10% of... Dude, the gays really earned their 10% with that one. It's awesome. Let it go. Okay, buddy. Okay, Elsa. Jesus Christ.

I still haven't seen Frozen. Really? Not missing much. Not according to everyone else, Ryan. You're not. It's the biggest movie in the world. Who cares? I mean, unless you care, then watch it.

I don't care. I'm not putting down people who, I'm just saying I don't care for it. Why? Because I think it's boring. why do you think it's boring? because see you can't give an answer I don't know something's just boring to you

I'm eating a fucking Thin Mint dude just to prove you wrong watch this I used to not mind it and I think I watched it like a couple years ago and I was just kind of like mmm yeah oh yeah i was i watched the second one and i thought it was just awful okay maybe not the worst it's not like the worst fucking thing in the world because there's so many bad things that exist but it's like it wasn't i didn't think it was great i didn't think it was anything to write home about you know that's why i want to. I saw the letter you wrote to your parents.

You did write home about it. Luca looks like a cute movie, and I want to watch it. Luca does look pretty good. Have you seen the Paddington movies, Matthew? No, I saw a billboard yesterday for Paddington 2. You should go watch the Paddington movies.

They're sad, right? No. Wait, Paddington 2, right? The bear, Paddington bear? Isn't that coming out? Paddington 2 has been out for years. Oh, maybe I'm thinking of some rabbit movie that's coming out. Oh, you're thinking of

fucking, uh... What's his name? The bodacious British talk show host. James Cor... Yeah, he plays Peter Rabbit. Peter Rabbit, that's what it is. Yeah, I saw a billboard

for that. Dude, James, uh... Dude, fucking James... What is his name? I saw a billboard for that. Dude, James. Dude, fucking James. What is his name? Corden. James Corden, dude. He is one of the, he's legendary, man. I hope one day we can be on Comedians in Cars getting coffee.

Comedians in Cars getting ketamine. He's more successful than we are. Why don't you shove it? Shut your fucking mouth, you know? You're a little just jealous. Yeah. I wish I could be in a Camar. Dude,, you're a little just jealous. Yeah. I wish I could be in a Camar. Dude, you can be in a Camar.

Dude, why don't we make a Camar with a comedian? Can we do comedians in cars getting ketamine? And it's like, we just start and then like with the, with the IV. You definitely said this. I feel like. Crash the car like 30 seconds in. Have I said this? I think so.

I feel like I tweeted this once, maybe. Maybe. Jackson might have tweeted it because I said it and he stole it. Did you steal his joke? He might have stolen my joke. He stole your joke or you stole his joke? He stole my joke. I don't know. Well, what he doesn't know is every time he does that, I dock $100 off his pay. Which is about half of it.

See, we never signed a contract. We're allowed to do this stuff. We don't have a set pay, you know. Just throw him a whatever, a couple bones. Yeah, as long as he makes rent, just buy enough. Just buy enough.

I don't want him to have any expendable income. Yeah, you don't want him to get too comfortable. Because if he gets comfortable and he's able to, you know, go out and enjoy a nice dinner with his girlfriend, I don't want him to be able to do that. Every now and then, it's good to let him, like, buy a new TV, have a nice dinner with his girlfriend. Exactly. I don't want him to be able to do that. Every now and then it's good to let him buy a new

TV, have a nice dinner with his girlfriend, but you always have to... A couple times a year. You have to rein it in so that they're always needing that. He needs to know that it's not like, oh, this is something I can go do because of my job. It's like, this is something that if I work hard enough, I might get enough money to do this

twice, three times a year. Exactly. And my favorite part is that we told him he has health insurance and we gave him a fake card and he thinks he does. Just wait. Just wait. He's going to get in some horrible accident. He's already been a few times. I don't think he checks his mail because there's definitely been some bills that have been sent his way.

My favorite thing about the health insurance thing is on the card we have a different address. So they're all getting sent to a different address. All the bills and shit. Oh, shit. But he's still getting charged. He just doesn't know he's getting them.

And the loan collectors, like the debt collectors, they don't even know how to find them. They just get a new number each time, yeah. Yeah. Debt collectors. I got a voicemail from a debt collector recently and I was freaking out. A real one? And then I was like, oh, wait, this is fake. Most of it's fake.

Watch this. No, no, no, it wasn't fake. Sorry. They called me back and I answered and I found it was for the dude that used to have my phone number who gets calls from debt collectors

and fucking loan sharks all the fucking time. And they're like, Vardon? And I'm like, nope, it's not Vardon. I still get calls from Vardon years after changing my number.

He must have been a very popular man, this Vardhan. Literally, like, loan sharks end up calling me. It's like, Vardhan? And they, like, yell a bunch of Armenian. And I'm like, no, it's not Vardhan. And they yell, like, more Armenian. Well, some people think just getting rid of their number will help in moving addresses. Well, it worked for him because they're fucking calling me still, like, three years after changing my fucking number.

I'm going to need to go do some investigating and find out where Varmon is. It's always, it's always like big debt collectors or, it's never good. It's never good calls. It's always like he owes someone money. And I'm like, oh, that's, I wonder why he changed his phone number. Varmon. Varkon. Varmon the Martian. Varmon. Varkon. Varmon the Martian. Varmon?

Vardon? There are times, every now and then, like maybe once or twice a year, I get a call from someone really angry, screaming in like Armenian. And I just, I'm like, you got the wrong number. And they'll like yell and I'll just hang up. Sometimes I get calls from this guy in English who just yells

and then I hang up. That's your dad. Yeah. That's my dad. He's going through some shit. You really should actually listen to him. Well, he just stopped yelling in my ear. He's not yelling. Then I go, ah, too loud. He's not yelling at you. He's just so emotional. It's probably just him sobbing. I really don't check. He's breaking down.

But to me, it's just yelling. It's all the same. Just turn the phone down. I do get it, though. That is annoying when someone like your father comes to you with their fucking emotional problems. It's like, all right, homo. I don't want to hear that stuff. It's like I already had to sit in your house for 18 years while being your property, you know? Yeah, it's like go tell it on the mountain, buddy.

Yeah, don't you have a wife or something to go tell your problems to? Yeah, that's what she's for, okay? I'm out here getting pussy in L.A. Exactly. I'm not here to be your therapist. multiple times multiple times a week oh yeah multiple pussies multiple times multiple times a day man you know i'll get some snatch and then uh i'll get her to drop me off at my place but instead of my place it's actually another girl's house my guess is my place i'll call you never chowing down on some fucking pumpkin pie if you know what i mean straight in bro i stick that pie right in my mouth.

You know what I'm saying? Maybe later I'll have a plate of cookies. You know what I'm saying? Dunked in milk? Yeah. Yeah, baby. You know? They call me Austin Powers on the streets of LA.

Why? It's either because I'm having a lot of sex or because my teeth are fucked up. Okay. I don't know which one. I think I'm hoping it's the first one. I don't know. But uh I'm hungry.

Are you hungry? No. I had snacks. I ate chips. You saw me eating chips and cheese. Chips and cheese. Do you want to go get a snack or something? Yeah I do. What do you want a snack on? What are you thinking? Something, just whatever food I can find, man.

What do you think you're going to find? I'll just go look in the kitchen. Jackson was shopping. What do you think? I don't know. In your head, what are you hoping you find? Cookies? There's cookies.

There's cookies right over there. Cookies? Hot milk, cookies. There might be milk. There's lemon ups, which you still haven't even had one. Okay, I'm touching those. You haven't even had one lemon up. They're not even open. Do you think my Michael Jackson impression came in better?

Hot milk, cookies. Are you asking me if your Michael Jackson impression is better? Do you think that sounds more like him when he's speaking? Hold up. Go again? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Hold up.

I just need to God knows in my heart how much I adore children but isn't that precisely the problem you never know what's gonna happen when you say bed it's sexual

they make that sexual it's not sexual but we're going to sleep I tuck them in I put a little music on. A little story time. I read a book. It's very sweet. We put the fireplace on.

We give them hot milk. We have little cookies. It's very sweet. But now that you've compared it directly, it's not going to... Give them hot milk. No, I can't do it, dude. Come on. Listen again. We're going to sleep. I tuck them in.

I put a little music on. I do a little storytelling. I read a book. It's very sweet. We put the fireplace on. We give him hot milk. We got cookies. It's very charming. You know, we got cookies.

Give him hot milk. Wait. That sounded like Trump. Trump Jackson. Give him hot milk. Trump Jackson. Give him hot milk. Trump Jackson. Give him hot milk. Isn't that precisely the problem?

Martin Bashir. Martin Bashir, whatever his name is. He's gotten in a lot of trouble recently. For what? He's very famous because he's interviewed with BBC. He did the Michael Jackson huge interview. He did Princess Diane. And the Princess Diane one, they found out

that he had falsified documents to get that interview. Whoa, like what? Bank statements and stuff. Like, to secure the interview. How does he... Doesn't he work for a big program or something? So like, how... What bank statements do they have to like, fudge?

Like, why are they looking at bank statements? What the fuck? It's the royal family. I'm sure there's a big vetting process the royal family can go suck a giant stop stop dude a giant knob use a British word for that they can fuck right off bro the royal family more like the royal rejects

oh that's a good band name more like the royal penises alright man that's a good band name. More like the Royal Penises. Alright, man. That's a zinger. More like the Royal Ballsack. The Royal Nuts. Dude, more like the Royal Buttholes. The Royal Hooligans more like. More like the Royal

Jackoffs. More like the Royal Frenulums. It's a part of the penis. The Royal Fudgeudge sniffers. Oh, okay. The royal fudge packers. Okay. More like the royal Nancy family boys.

I do have a royal family so stupid. Yeah, because they're all stupid and well they're inbred but also it's like it i don't do it's just it's just it's like a weird thing where it's like holding someone else so much higher above regular people that's there's nothing special because they're royalty okay it's nothing special about fucking royalty jackass they mean more to they're a symbol they're a symbol some people get mad if you talk about the royal family bad, bro. Yeah, assholes. I think most people.

I think most people. Dude, you just called all British people assholes. Yeah, good. Which is true. Not all of them, dude. I feel like most people in Britain don't give a shit about the royal family. Yeah, but most people in Britain have never seen a dentist. That's for sure.

It's like how most people in the United States didn't love Donald Trump when he was. That's not true. That is very true. It does baffle me still, though. Technically, he got what? Seventy five million votes. Seventy five percent of the votes. He's going to be back in office by August.

And the my pillow guy also said that he knows that he'll be back in office by August. So go fucking choke on some McNuggets, that. He'll be back in office by August. So. Go fucking choke on some McNuggets, bro. Say goodnight, Mr. Biden. Wishing death upon someone because you disagree with them? I didn't. Choking on McNuggets, jackass? Really?

You know, man, I don't like the man, but I would never wish death on someone. I didn't wish death. I just wish that it would choke on some McNuggets. And when I said goodnight, Mr. Biden, that could have... Mr. President and Cheeto? Dude, Commander and Cheeto, more like. Come on! Dude. Baby hands.

Cheeto Christ Stupid Czar by Randy Rainbow. Woo! Don't go off on Randy again. Sorry, dude. He's going to have his people sick you. He's going to put his boomers on me. His boomer neoliberals on me. They're going to call you a neo-Nazi and a racist.

Well, apparently things are so black and white that when I thought that the video was bad, I'm all right. Is Schlatter racist? Yes. Okay. Just so you know. Yeah, someone was telling me in my ads that he's a racist? Yes. Okay. Just so you know. Yeah, someone was telling me in my ads that he's a racist. Oh, yeah. And I just had to check. I get that a lot. I get that Schlatt's a racist.

I just said one thing to him and then they said that... Oh, yeah. Like, literally the exact same shit we've done. Like, really no worse than what we've done as far as I've seen. It's like him joking about like, blackface or him like uh... It's literally like the same shit. It's like him joking about like blackface or him like it's literally like the same shit. It's like him playing

Drawful. Yeah. And like drawing. See this is why we need more well-mannered middle of the road type of viewpoints like Steven Crowder. Hey man. Yeah? Oh what? Number two and I'm gonna need help wiping.

Let me let me get the alarm going. Yep. Yep. Oh, it's coming. It's coming. It's coming now. Jackson, get the toilet paper already. Oh, you're gonna spill it everywhere. It's going. It's coming out right now. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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