supermegashow - EP 254 - Jeff Dunham, War Crimes, and My Wife's Boyfriend

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Exactly what the title says. Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 25% off when you go to LiquidIV.com/SUPERMEGA at checkout. Click the link and use the code [SUPERMEGA] for $5 off or go to magicspoon.com/SUPERMEGA to save $5 today. Get started today at StitchFix.com/SUPER and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Go to Keeps.com/SuperMega to get your first month of treatment for free. Go to Curology.com/SUPER for a free 30-day trial, just pay for shipping and handling! manscaped.com/supermega Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Promo code searching. It takes skill, speed, sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,

a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Hello, everyone. This week's episode will be a bit different.

And basically, Matt is not here currently. And we don't know when he will be back. Because he is busy fighting a court case in some state. I honestly can't remember. I'm not that interested. Especially since it fucks us over with ad reads. But I'm here, and we have our guest, Matt Watson. So let's welcome the co-host.

Until Matt gets back, we'll have Matthew on. Thanks for having me, man. Yeah, of course. And you are the part-time co-host now, so feel free to be as comfortable as you want just until Matt gets back. I've never done a podcast before, but I'm more than willing to, you know, try it

out while Matt's gone and, you know, hopefully, you know, it's not too awkward. Hopefully it goes well. I don't think it will be. You seem like a stand-up guy. Thanks, man. Thank you. So, what have you been up to this week? This week? Oh, welcome. Sorry. It's the episode 254. 254.

Yeah, you knew it. That's a lot of numbers. You did your research before getting on. Oh, yeah. I knew it because I actually have listened to every episode from episode one of your podcast. The one you do with Matt. I gotta say, man, it's some funny stuff. Thank you.

Sorry, what have you been up to this week? Let's see. So I've been waiting on a desk to show up at my house for months. It came by, I thought I saw. It did, it finally showed up. So I put it together and then I- It's a really nice desk.

I was in my master bedroom was where my bedroom was. And then I also have a guest bedroom that was my studio, but the guest bedroom's a little small. So I swapped, I made the guest where my bedroom was and then i also have a guest bedroom that was my studio but the guest bedroom's a little small so i swapped i made the guest bedroom my bedroom and i made the master bedroom my studio for editing and making making tunes and shit and uh that was an all-day thing of taking my bed apart and it was a big swift uh swift switcheroo yeah and that desk was heavy as fuck and it did not come with instructions no you just figured it out yeah uh and i mean were the pieces kind of oh yeah i mean it was it was it was pretty easy the hardest part though is like so the there's a slide out part underneath that i put my my uh keyboard like my piano keyboard on so i can like slide it in and out uh and that

has to go on two tracks, like a drawer tracks. I had no idea how to get that thing on there because it was like 60 pounds too. So I was like, it took me probably two hours just to get that on. But it was worth it. When I did, it was the best feeling. When you saw it all just perfect. It's a great desk.

I love it. It's by, I think it's called AZ Studios or something. I still have that old desk. You gave me my current desk, right? The one that I use at my place? Yes, that's the one that I had at my... It's a nice desk. How long have you had that? Whenever you

gave it to me. Did I give it to you, like, in the last few years, or was that, like, old, old? I think that's... I've been living in this place for a little bit. That desk is the one that I think I used at our old apartment we shared. Okay. Edited some of the first Super Mega videos on. It's a relic.

And you didn't bring it when you moved into your old place. No, I actually just bought the desk again, I think. Because I'd already given you that one. Then I got rid of it, though. It's a nice desk. It's from Ikea. It's just too clunky, man. I want more open air now. I used to like desks that were very compact and kind of like a battle station.

I still like that, but I like having breathable room with the desk now like kind of minimal there's one way i would have to change the setup because i like having my computer screen a little closer to my face especially when i'm in gamer mode because i noticed like it was it was different for me editing with like the screen a bit further yeah it is it is a little bit far away with that desk because it's like there's like a riser that I put the monitor on and there's a lot of desk space in front of me. Yeah.

So it's farther away. I also consider getting like a flat screen TV and mounting that on the wall and making that the monitor. Then you're always just looking right up at that motherfucker. I don't know. What do you think about that idea?

I like the monitor on the wall. Hmm. Hmm. Or if you wanted to, you could have the computer still have a monitor on the wall or if you wanted to you could have the computer still have a monitor on the wall because you're gonna be watching tv and movies there anyways so it's like have the monitor on the wall so you can always switch and show people okay this is what i just did boop switch and show people or people can be watching something entertaining themselves while swap it over while you're doing something well i edit on edit on a Mac and Apple has AirPlay.

So I can actually just share my screen onto the TV, which I just figured out recently. And that's super cool. I do, Justin showed me, he's like, what are you doing? Like, I feel like whenever Justin visits, he teaches me some new fangled way to use my technology that I just didn't. Because before I would just use my Xbox,

go to the YouTube app and then like type it. If I wanted to watch stuff on my TV, I just, you know, for each letter I wanted to search for. But then Justin's like, oh, you can just, your TV, right? You have like the smart TV. I'm like, yeah.

He's like, just airplay it to your TV. I'm like, wait, I can do that? And so now I just write from my phone. I figured that was great. Especially when you have like people chilling over, I can just keep doing videos so now I just write from my phone. I figured that was great. Especially when you have like people chilling over. I can just keep doing videos. That's existed for years. Yeah.

So like- You guys are on Bluetooth? This is, I know. But like, I didn't ever think of doing that. I was always like stubborn, not stubborn, just stupid. When I just always, just one letter at a time from my Xbox.

And you can have multiple phones hooked up at once. So what I'll do is when I have friends over, we can all connect and we can all add videos to the queue. I like that. The queue is really nice. What Jackson and I would do

is we would go do one of those nights where we just would get drunk and go down YouTube finding new videos where we would search terms like rant or like I hate my brother or something and then sort by newest

and the videos you get are incredible if you search cover you get great things well that's what I do for a lot of our videos I'll like I'll search for covers of songs and then I'll go to like the newest ones so it's like the ones that people are just uploading so it's

usually not the ones that have been filtered and pushed to the top not at all it's ones that are like less than a day old that with zero views it's like karaoke versions of them singing i i try oh the nascar video originally oh yeah had a cover but the cover was apparently too good it was a yeah it got copyright claimed it was a cover of my immortal by this this one person we found and it was it was perfect it was it was really funny the the song in general still i think the nascar video turned out wonderfully great fantastic but little did we know when we went on that trip to the nascar thing that an even grander adventure would have been would be bestowed upon us. Because this is several podcasts in.

This is old news. But for us, we just released the Hooters vlog today. We took a fan to Hooters. If you guys, well, for those who haven't seen it yet, that are listening to the podcast, maybe you haven't seen our videos, you just know the podcast, go check out We Took a Fan to Hooters because it's a good example of our shit.

Yeah, of our live action content, the stuff that we used to do more of, LOL. I think we do more of it now, actually. I feel like in the very beginning, it felt like we were just constantly releasing stuff. Yeah, in the very beginning. Yeah. Actually, I went back and looked,

and it wasn't that much. It wasn't as much as we thought. It just feels like a lot more. In terms of live action. Yeah. Or like we'd add, no, we still add live action. Yeah. Um, or like we'd add, no, we still add live action.

Like we added live action in, uh, the Sonic adventure to play through live action camera. I think like with male videos and such, we've been releasing more live action. The poo poo camera is always just such a great idea. You know, I clicked on that fucking episode six finale of Sonic and I watched the first like 30 seconds

and it was just vile because it's literally just, you can just hear yourself like shitting. Just. Yeah, you can hear it spray into the toilet. I saw like that comment. Someone's like, I just sat down with my Burger King meal and I put this on and now I can't even eat it. And I was like. It's your fault for eating while watching Super Mega.

Exactly. You never know what to expect. We're so, we're so zany. We're just a little bit random. A little zany. There might be some poo-poo humor that, you know, those fourth graders do love. I like when people say they just divert to poo-poo humor now. When it's like, where have you been since episode one of, like, Super Mega?

Yeah, when people's like, they just do, you know, just like, it's just poop jokes. Or like, poop humor. Like, toilet jokes. It's like, dude, go back to 2016. It's literally the exact, it was probably worse in 2016. It's like more of your mom than so now, I would say. Yeah, like there's, like, go back to 2016, there's the your mom jokes, there's the poop jokes. Well, we still got those, you know.

Yeah, so, you know, it's like not much has changed. Except, you know, unfortunately, Matt with the court case. Yes, but you were so kind to kind of pick up the slack on that one. Yeah. Again, anytime, man. You're really helping us out with ad reads and stuff.

Yeah, anytime, man. You know? But we're not going to do them yet. No. Or our own personal break isn't put in. Who knows where

they put the breaks in? Yeah. Could be in the middle of us talking. I don't know where they throw ads in. I know that like we say like,

all right, it's required to be like, all right, time for ads and then they play us talking. I don't know where they throw ads in. I know that we say, all right, it's required to be like, all right, time for ads. And then they play our ads. I don't know if they put other ones in. I don't know where those go. Yeah. Hopefully it doesn't interrupt. Today's episode of the Super Megacast is sponsored by Hennessy. Have you been feeling down in the dirt?

You know something that's going to make you happier? Matt, tell them all about it. If there's one thing that makes me less depressed when I'm feeling down, it's alcohol. Straight from the bottle. And Hennessy is a great way to get there quick. Don't waste time on beer or cocktails or wine. You can just drink Hennessy straight from the bottle and get rid of those sads. It goes down like butter. And I couldn't ask for anything sweeter and smoother to drink as I'm sad and depressed alone in my club.

So go ahead, crack a bottle of Hennessy and chug that shit down. Okay, so I guess that's the first ad read yeah out of the way yeah so we're done with that one um can we sometimes like with i was just thinking like with the real ads put in like our own fake ads so people like i thought i won the other day that was is that allowed they never said no. Man, you hear the news about George Lopez? What happened? You didn't hear? No. You didn't hear?

Oh, God. He's not dead. No, he's not dead. It's worse, though. It's worse than dead? Yeah. Is he canceled? He's too funny.

Oh. There's no breaking news about George Lopez, except that he's too funny. Actually, there is. I just saw this in the news today, Ryan. Wait, let me find it. It is warrant issued for ex-Disney star Kyle Massey. Oh, I saw that. But that's not George Lopez.

George Lopez is resting happy with his beautiful kidney. In the grave with his kidneys. No, no. He didn't go into the grave because of his new kidney. Did he get a new kidney? Yeah, from the ex-wife he was cheating on. He got it and he said, I got this. You know about that.

No, I don't. He had some sort of condition. He was going to die or some shit like that. And then his wife at the time gave him her kidney so he could live and live a wonderful life. And then he just cheated on her. After the kidney? Yeah. Which you know then, but you know, it was before, during and after probably.

Come on, George. George. She gave you her fucking kidney. If she at least does that, you know. Yeah, I'd be like, all right, I won't cheat on this one. I'll at least break up with her or get divorced first. Think they signed a prenup? Who knows?

He doesn't. He has to give the kidney back. That's part of the divorce argument. That's what he's saying. George Lopez's final words. He puts his fingers on his arm and goes, Sheesh, Angie. Angie. Zoomer George Lopez.

Sheesh, Angie. That's lit, Angie! Dude, what's Max up to these days? Mofo? He passed away. No, not Max Mofo. Oh, the kid that played Max? Yes.

I remember there was a whole arc where he was pissing his sheets or something. Yeah, he wet the bed. And then Carmen was making fun of him. But it was because he... Or the grandma was making fun of him. The grandma was mean. She was awful, man. She was a bad mother.

But sometimes there would be episodes where she would say something really nice. See, I like the George Lopez show because I love sitcoms that are funny, but then they have those times where it's like, oh, man. Fresh Prince did it full house. Malcolm in the Middle did a great job at it. They always have those moments where it's like, no, we're real television. We're telling stories. Malcolm in the Middle did a great job at it. They always have those moments where it's like, no, we're real television. We're telling stories. Malcolm in the Middle did it so well.

Well, Malcolm in the Middle, I feel like is the one where I don't feel a weird feeling whenever they're doing it. Because whenever a sitcom does it, except for Fresh Prince does it well, I think. Sometimes. Sometimes it's just like... With the dad thing? Yeah, the dad thing was really good.

I got hairs on my arm standing up. I didn't like the part where like... I know it's a famous episode, but like when Carlton gets a gun and Will finds out and he's like, he got a gun because of me. Yeah. Yeah, because I think...

Was Carlton... Wait, was Carlton shot or did Carlton get a gun? Carlton was strapped. No, Will Smith was shot or something. Got put in the hospital. Got put in the hospital for something. But then Carlton got a gun. No, Will Smith was shot or something, got put in the hospital. Got put in the hospital for something, but then Carlton got a gun. No! He just finds all this stuff that Carlton has in a closet,

like a bunch of sawed-off shotguns, like ammunition. I think Carlton just pulls up and shows him in the hospital. He's like, look at this. Let me see it. It's just a sawed-off Carlton's gun. Carlton, I've read your journal. It's got a lot of stuff about Columbine in there. Don't worry, Will.

Just for protection. I didn't know that this was... They hug. Who's that? Oh. So they're hugging. And he feels it. Who's that? it. Yes. For protection. Carlton, whoa, man, what do you think?

Is that easy to just shoot somebody? Yes. What the hell? What the fuck? You just threw off the tray. I saw this late at night one night. Dude, I love the audience laughing, though, like not sure if they're supposed to be laughing or not i was gonna eat that man but wait hold up my father give me the gun carlton

see he's tearing up give me the gun i saved your life i want the gun now they're looking at each other he's pointing it at will whoa no holy fuck will's pulling one out too whoa okay i didn't i don't remember that happening. But like, isn't that like surreal hearing that? It's like, what is that? It's a gun, Will. And it's like silent.

And then he like flips the trays and everyone laughs. Dude, it's a... But then aren't the nurses just gonna... Give me the gun, Carlton! Aren't the nurses just gonna come in, he's gonna have a gun? Like, here's your apple so... It's just in there strapped he just has to hide it

he has to sit on it the whole time just looks like he has an erection it's like it's like a a little like goofy comedy thing he has to hide the gun one time he actually goes off

and all of a sudden like the nurses turn around and then he's like aw you know how it is been eating a lot of protein then the last track happens oh yeah sorry you you honey's looking fine Been eating a lot of protein Oh yeah Sorry you

You honeys looking fine Cause he called them honeys a lot if you remember Remember Carlton you and I are gonna get some honeys Oh yeah we are Will And he pulls the gun out That's not what Carlton sounds like Take it easy cut Are you talking about Paul Walker take it easy cut

He's like what does he say Forget about it cut I told you forget about Paul Walker's Take It Easy, Cuh? He's like, what does he say? Forget about it, Cuh. I told you, forget about it, Cuh. Dude. Dude, I just remember. I love that that exists. Forget about it, Cuh.

He said it. It was shot and filmed, put through the editing. It was first written, though. But it went through all those stages, and then it ended up in theaters. And I'm so glad it did I'm so glad it made it through all of that process without being like you know like they cut several scenes out of that movie

but they always forget about it forget about it I was just laughing because I was remembering remember the video of like the FBI agent dancing at the party and he does like a flip and his gun falls out of his pants and fires and it shoots somebody. Well, he's not like in uniform at the, it's not like. Yeah, but he does like a flip and his gun falls out.

Does it? It shoots somebody, right? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure it goes off. There's a lot of those videos of people like shooting off guns at like weddings and just ending up killing someone. Yeah, because what goes up must come down. So you shoot it.

It's not the bullet coming back down. Like the gun will fire like this. They're going straight up, but then it'll start to go to the right because it's a fucking gun and they can't control the recoil that well. I saw a video of a dude doing that, like shooting it with friends.

It shoots like someone in the head. Yeah, and he like fumbles his grip and just like three dudes. And it's like, well, you shouldn't play with guns. Shouldn't. Unless it's, you know.'t play with guns shouldn't unless it's you know unless yeah sometimes it can be i actually i'm not i do like uh i do like guns i do like shooting guns it is fun shooting like a handgun is is is very i would like to get a

handgun actually go dance monkey dance i'm gonna go to the zoo with my handgun and point it at the bonobos and see what they do. See, they're not, dude, they can't tell on you. What are they going to tell the zookeeper? They don't speak English. Dude, would it make national news if I brought a gun to the zoo and I just went in and shot the monkeys? Like from like the, like viewing area? That would be a horrible fucking.

Like, guys, watch this. Bah, bah. And they'd all go hooting and hollering and running. Ex-Markiplier editor. Slaughter of monkeys. Like six years onwards, that's what this is like. Editor for Markiplier. No, it hasn't been more than six years.

How long has it been? I moved out here six years. Since we were in the firm grip of child star Mark Fishbaugh. Six years from two weeks from two days ago is when I moved out here. Okay. And that'll be six years. Damn. Wow, that's crazy, man.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I'm like, I've been out here six years. Wait, I've been out here six and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you just came out shortly after me. You came out February 5th. I came out July 26th. Yep, yep, yep.

I remember this shit. And then when my friend Christian moved out here, coincidentally, he moved out here same day as me on the five-year anniversary so now he's having a good time dude i just remember christian doing y'all finished your uh he's doing good man d campaign recently he's been streaming a lot he made a vtuber i uh i was just i remembered this and i forgot so i've told the story about the pot brownie, right? Yeah. On the podcast. Which story of the pot brownie? In college when Jackson and I put a bunch of oregano in a brownie and I like mashed it up and I put it in some tinfoil.

But you haven't told it in a long time, I feel. Well, we gave it. I bought a brownie from our like freshman dorm, like food area. And, you know, none of us had smoked weed before. And I got a bunch of oregano and I like I poured it into it and like mixed it up so it looked like you know it had some like and then I molded it back into the shape of the brownie wrapped it in tin foil and I came upstairs

like yo Christian dude check it out we scored a weed brownie but the thing is no one thinks that their friend is gonna go through that much effort to fuck it and he was like oh shit and we're, let's do it man. So me and Jackson and Christian all ate it and Christian ate like half.

It couldn't have been good because there's oregano. No, of course not. So you even have to eat it and you're like I think I spit it out when he wasn't looking. Like 20 30 minutes in he's like, oh man, I'm feeling it. And then the rest of the night we were just watching as he was like giggling to himself

and like oh man cause placebo effects is real it's real strong but we never told him he found out cause someone ratted years later after I moved out to LA and he called me about it was he like hey what the fuck I heard about the brownie no he goes

he calls me and he's like quiet and he's like remember when we ate that pot brownie and i was like oh you're like yeah some fucking kid named michael you never told them i love that you never told them i wanted i have a picture from that night where he's like he couldn't stop laughing because he was high and he has his hands on his hips like like standing up laughing and i have that picture still it's fantastic but we actually did something very similar again recently where it was his birthday and we got a bunch of beers but we bought him 0% Heineken, non-alcoholic

beer and we were just drinking regular beers but pretending to drink the Heineken. Did the placebo work again? No, not this time. Maybe he learned after the first time. To just be honest. It's his birthday night. He's trying to have fun. Three and a half of those in.

He looks at all of us. He's like, you guys feel drunk at all? And I was like, yeah, man, I'm pretty drunk. And he's like, I just don't really feel drunk. It's weird. And my favorite part is on the can, it says zero. Huge. And he just keeps drinking.

I think he drank four of them before he realized that they were non-alcoholic. And then he's like, this sucks because like i'm not in the mood for more beer because i just had four but they were not alcoholic yeah he's like i don't know those calories and shit for nothing uh so we injected him with pure grain alcohol no it was pretty cool if you inject someone with pure grain alcohol you know it skips the liver so you can get really drunk and i urge everyone to try it isn't't that what happens when you put the tampon in your ass, soaked in alcohol? Doesn't it bypass your liver?

Soaked in versions blood? That shit's good. That shit gets you a different type of high. But you know how people will do this shit where they'll put the tampon in their ass that's soaked in vodka? Yeah. I'm pretty sure that bypasses your liver, right? It goes straight to your bloodstream. Ain't good. Because when you drink alcohol, your liver breaks it down and puts it into your bloodstream but right but that's how

they would assassinate people back in the day they'd slip in at night and slip a little pill up up their rump that's how we got castro that son of a bitch he was asleep one night and we stuck a little cyanide pill up his ass no we just we just took a shot glass and poured it into his ass and then he got too drunk and died i watched a documentary recently about a frat uh that was doing hazing um and there was this kid where it goes too far yeah it usually does there's this kid that they locked in a room and was like gave him a bottle of uh like a whole bottle of whiskey or jack daniels yeah like drink it and he died because well like there's security camera footage like he was passed out like he couldn't move and they carry him back into the house and they just like dump him on the floor and they're like kicking him and like taking selfies with him but he was dead what the fuck are those were those released

and shit it's on youtube uh they got they got so they're just playing with like a dead they don't know he's dead but the fact that he's like he, like, shit himself and stuff, that's usually a sign that. But, like, being them and knowing that, like, in retrospect, like. No, it's all videos of them, like, taking selfies and kicking him and shit. Who knows? Actually, he wasn't dead then. I'm acting as if they, like, upon realizing he was dead would be like, oh, no. Oh, when they realize it's really sad because, like, the one, there's,'s like one sober guy that's watching everything and he's trying to get him cpr and

it's really sad he's like freaking out but uh i mean if you get when you're drinking with your so alcohol poisoning happens when you uh you don't throw up from alcohol poisoning because you drink you get drunk too fast for your body to like reject it and that's when alcohol poisoning happens so tip for you guys and your friends if you're getting too if you're drinking like that which you shouldn't drink like that but if if you, if you do and you notice that someone is like passing out without throwing up or whatever, their lips are turning blue or something, or they soil themselves. Good time to, you're not going to be in trouble.

Like if you go to the, take someone to the hospital. You're not going to get in trouble for help, like saving someone's life. It's much more worth, uh, you're going to be in, if someone dies, you're going to be in a lot more trouble. Also, if you're underage you're gonna get in trouble but you know but don't be scared

to take someone to the hospital if you're underage they're not gonna lock you away for you might get a stern talking to by your parents but it's

it's definitely I've never I've never seen the appeal of I've never like been a big party drinker where like I've never blacked out

from drinking I've never needed like hospital but the people that drink to the point where they have to like I've never been a big party drinker. I've never blacked out from drinking. I've never needed hospital. But the people that drink to the point where they have to go get their stomach pumped and shit. It's like, god damn, that's a lot of alcohol. Usually it's how fast you consume it too. People when they're just chugging straight liquor, it's disgusting. That is so gross.

Do a keg of liquor. Me and my friends pulling out the keg of vodka. The keg of Everclear, which is like 90%. Chug, chug, chug, chug. Oh, bro. Yeah, but, you know, just alcohol's for losers. Yeah. For daft fools.

For daft punks, you could say. Fucking idiots, morons. Dude, especially that sake. That stuff's gross. Sake, you mean? Sake? Sake? Yeah, it's pronounced sake.

You, uh, I have, uh, I'm trying not to drink this month at all. Okay. So, I've gone two weeks so far. Today's the 14th. Haven't drank in July. Feels good. I have more energy. Well, yeah. I mean, it kind of

it makes you more sociable. I've been sleeping better. I don't wake up as much during the night because I usually would drink before bed every night, but now it's like I don't wake up as much because it fucks your sleep quality up. Makes it harder to go into REM sleep. Oh, does it? Okay. You've always had trouble sleeping. I've been sleeping pretty good. Oh, does it? Mm-hmm. Okay. It's just, you've always had trouble sleeping, so.

I've been sleeping pretty good. I'm sure it hasn't helped. Sleeping pretty fine. Like a baby? Like a, not like a rock, but like a. Okay. But like a baby. Like a baby, yeah.

You know, you still wake up every now and then. And when I say sleeping like a rock, I mean the country. Because damn. We put them to sleep. Woo-hoo. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we did. Back to the Stone Ages with you. we put them to sleep. Now we did. Back to the

Stone Ages with you. Sorry, Iraq. Sorry, Afghanistan. We apologize for our country's misgivings, but boy, wasn't it the journey that matters? We're still there. It was the friends you made along the way. It was the war crimes you committed along the way.

Didn't, uh, I mean, gas, have you noticed gas prices have skyrocketed lately? It's like $4.30 or $4.30. Sounds like we need to go to war again. That's what I'm saying. I think we need to start bombing the Middle East again. Or, we are, under Biden. You know, I'd be like, hey guys, you know, we still have these capabilities and we need to make sure that we

can secure some nice, you know... Dude, what I like is President Biden's keeping his promises and still drone striking the middle east the same as the two presidents before him but you know when kamala orders the drone strikes that is some girl boss energy i will say so i just love the thought of the u.s just going into just another country and just killing people in it that's literally what we've done for decades well yeah but i just like just like the rest of the world a lot of people in other countries don't like americans thought that's such like a fucking

like you like i picture it if someone did that to the united states it's like something when someone flew a plane into our you know the twin towers retaliation that, we blew up a whole lot more people. Yeah. But, it's... Oh, dude, that fucking like, day, was it the that same, like, day, or was it the day after when we, like, we fucking, uh, we blew a whole area to Kingdom Come,

essentially. Where's my phone? As a show of, like, so we could get the Americans happy. Oh, yeah. I don't remember the week after 9-11. I remember 9-11,. I don't remember the week after 9-11. I remember 9-11 but I don't remember the week after because my mind kind of threw that away. But my parents said that like that week was like unlike anything else because like everyone

was like united or like it was like so patriotic and everyone was united. Listen to how many But like if someone else did that in our country it would be like an act of war. Oh like imagine China flew in and was like blowing up people's houses you know like we literally just well it's cause we're going to poor countries

they can't do anything back and just blow shit up we're freeing them by killing those pregnant women inside that hospital in Iraq listen what's crazy to me is like how many you know know, people talk, it was like how many casualties of the Iraq war on our side is, let me see real quick.

Um, God damn. Like I see people talking about like we several like thousands of American soldiers died in Iraq uh oh my god Iraq war casualties range from 151,000 violent deaths as of June 2006

to 1,033,000 excess deaths that and a lot of those are just civilians god damn well thousand excess deaths. And a lot of those are just civilians. Goddamn. Well, it shouldn't have been so civilianized. War's war, baby. I think one of the most

disturbing videos I've ever seen was what's it called? The helicopter tapes? That got leaked? I think Snowden released that, actually. Yeah, because those came out a long time ago. that got leaked. I think Snowden released that actually. That, yeah. Cause they, those, those came out a long time ago. Dude,

that, that made, I watched that a while back. For like the first time. Yeah. Cause I had watched it for the first time. Probably. I was in South Carolina when I saw it.

It made me like sick. What's it? So it had to be like, what's it called? Um, it's not worth looking up, but it's basically, it's like security, like security camera It's not worth looking up, but it's basically, it's like security,

like security camera footage from like a drone strike helicopter that has like one of the onboard machine guns. And you can hear like the radio chatter of the guys like in the helicopter back with like base. And they're just like killing people for fun, like down in the village. Yeah. And they're blowing people up.

They comment on it. It's like, Oh, look at this guy. And then, and the thing was like so the worst part of it is they lit a bunch of people up with guns and then their family members and friends like came and tried to help them and get them in a van to take them to a hospital and they just blew it they just and it's just like it's so fucked up uh because they're like cheering and like shit when they do and like oh got them and then uh they're sitting and shit when they do it. They're like, oh, got him.

They're sitting there with their Xbox controllers. Yeah, and there's a guy. It's blinking because it's almost out of battery. They're not allowed to engage. That's not how the controllers work. There's some dudes there that aren't posing a threat or anything, and they want to shoot him. And the guy's like, you can't engage. There's no threat.

And he's like, please, let us engage. Come on. He wanted to kill them. They're bloodthirsty. War changes you. You should be on you know like a mission not like an i like not like an ideology of like these people bad and they must die type of mission but like you should be going like i don't know you don't aren't they given like certain tasks to do and their tasks aren't kill as many people as possible their task is like clear the area of any hostile people or whatever.

I mean, it's like with war, it's what always... But they were hostile when they tried to pick them out up and take them to a hospital in their van. It's the classic like demonize the other side so much that like they're all evil. Oh, that's just propaganda, maybe? So it's like you see the Middle Eastern people and it's like, oh, they're like rats.

They're evil. So it's like, you know, they hate America.'s like oh they're like rats they're evil so it's like you know they hate America they hate freedom they blew up the World Trade Center let's you know so

this is Uncle Sam's Revenge it was very well I like I remember like I'm not saying I experienced like I'm very white passing

well you were in that helicopter no I guess what I'm what I'm saying is when I was in middle school or high school I think it was mainly like middle school, early high school. And like, you know, you talk about like, where are your parents from? You know, when I say my mom's, you know, from Libya, went to Lebanon and that, you know, her father is an Arab.

And so they go, go oh you're part terrorist yeah so I'm not saying like I experienced any racism but there is there was definitely a sentiment

no like you know 2000s dude Middle East equals terrorist Middle East equals guy with beard with bomb

blowing up plane oh yeah I mean back in the like you couldn't have a beard back then like you would you know

it was like associated as like you better shave that you look like a terrorist and there was a huge trend of men not having beards after 9-11 back then like like you would you know it was like associated as like like you better shave that you look like a terrorist and uh there was a huge trend of men not having beards after 9-11 and dude like that was big in the south now beards are back baby dude honestly like as a naive kid i was probably like that too like like you know seeing the middle east is like villains and stuff because that's all i knew and i didn't know shit about the world yet so I probably

was like that too and I was god damn proud of it you would have been that kid I would have gone I would have said something like oh you mean those fucking dune terrorists over there well I wouldn't have said that but I would have I'd have been like Jesus dude you can't say that

I probably would have made my fair share of terrorist comments and jokes. Oh, I mean, I think, I mean, there's the big popular Ahmed the Dead Terrorist. I went to go see him. He was in. I saw him live. I had an Ahmed the Dead Terrorist t-shirt at one point. All the jokes about blowing shit up.

Yeah, I remember. A wonderful present. Dude, you had. Wonderful gift. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

Almost as awesome as these ad reads angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain it's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro

who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home,

you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hey Ontario, got any plans? How about a trip to the casino right here, right now? With DraftKings Casino, all your favorite games are in the palm of your hand. Play the classics like Blackjack, Roulette, Slots and Baccarat. Or take a spin on exclusive games you won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone. Download the app and play whatever, wherever and whenever. Your options for fun are endless. On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play.

Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means. The best part is it's safe, secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario, 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over

and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. We all have the power to shape the world. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West.

Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Hey, we're back and it's Wednesday, which means that the leaf blower is going. It's been a while. We missed the guy.

We missed him. But now he's back. Louder than ever. Yes, he really is louder than ever right now. I was going to say my first GF, her connecting this back to before we were talking. Dude. Gay friend? Listen to that fucking leaf blower.

My first, yeah, my first gay friend, my first girlfriend, her dad loved Ahmed the Dead Terrorist. And he was like, he worked for the military. So I feel like you know, it was one of those kind of, haha funny like back I don't know it does feel a little bit like propaganda

a little bit, even though it was just I mean the pepper too, you know it was just like racial stereotypes yeah, what about Peanut? he's not a stereotype Which one's Peanut? He did have a black stereotype dude Yeah he did didn't he? He had a little pimp character

That's right Dude why doesn't he use those Does he still bust those out you think? I gotta Wait does he use those still? Pimp What's his What's his fuck

I forgot his name Jeff Dunham dude How do I always forget his name? You've literally seen him live bro I know Pimp Jeff Dunham Dude Jeff Dunham. Dude, Jeff Dunham's pimping.

Sweet Daddy D. Oh, God. I'm looking at it. Looks like a fucking minstrel show puppy. Oh, my God. I loved whenever he created it. Oh, dude, remember when he did this shit? I remember, like, watching this and not really thinking much of it. I was a kid.

But look. He brings up, he made a little second character. It's half grown up. That's his son. Oh. character it's half grown up that's his son oh so it's just a half grown up middle eastern child puppet what's literally what's funny is literally like as the people are sitting here laughing at this probably right then in the middle east some kids getting shot up and killed or like blown up by like in front of his family i love that we just got to a point where like the the charred dead corpse of a middle eastern child became a puppet for comedy.

And I probably laughed at that. I probably did too. I thought the Achmed shit was hilarious. Of course. I kill you. Dude, when he brought out his Mohammed puppet, people thought that one was hilarious too. I'm surprised he didn't get more backlash for that. I can't find that anymore.

It's off YouTube. He retired the pimp in Sweet Daddy D in 2010. What? I want to say 2010. He retired Sweet Daddy D? Why didn't we say, like, 2007 or 2006? Because it was, like, 19, but then it was, I guess, 2000 changed it. You don't want to say 2000.

So say 2000, and then, because you already have 2000 on the mind, I'm going to say 2001. Makes sense. Hold up, dude. Does he still do Achmed? The Dead Terrorist. I don't know. Does he? There's a movie? Achmed Saves America? Jeff Dunham's Achmed Saves America. Sorry. There's an animated movie. We have Achmed

The Dead Terrorist movie? It's an animated film. Jeff Dunham's Ach Ahmed Saves America. And that... Is that even a leaf blower, dude? I don't know. I don't know what that is. It sounds like he's running a generator.

4.3 out of 10. Do not worry. I will get it right this time. So, uh... Ryan, what are the odds you have to watch it and then put a review on Patreon of it? You have to vlog yourself watching it and then review it for Patreon. Two.

Oh, fuck off. All right. Three, two, one. Two. That means I have to watch. Fuck me, man. God damn it. Shit looks awful.

Why am I always having to watch fucking awful movies? You set the odds. Well, I said watch fucking awful movies? You set the odds. Well, I said the odds. No, you set the odds. But you gave me the odds, R. Technically, hey, what I did was better than even three, because then at least Patreon gets some content, you know? Okay, well...

Fuck. Come on, man. Achmed saves... Dude, it has a 4.3 out of 10 on IMDb. This does look pretty good, though. No, don't... I don't want to spoil it. Dude, it has a 4.3 out of 10 on IMDb. This does look pretty good, though. No, don't. I don't want to spoil it. Stop. You're spoiling it for me, dude. Sorry, I'm just getting so excited for you. I really liked watching Loquisha.

I really liked watching How to Save a Life with Stephen Crowder. More like Stephen chowdered his pants because he pooped in his pants. Because he got so scared when he saw Sam Heater. More like Sam Hyder. High Decker.

Have you ever seen the video when Sam Hyde calls into Tim Hydecker's podcast? And he's really mad at him and confronts him. And they get into an argument. It's really uncomfortable. Good. Because he thinks that the reason Million Dollar Extreme got taken off of Adult Swim and cancelled is because of Tim Heidecker pushing for it, because he has

so much power at Adult Swim. Also might have had to do with the fact that they were hiding swastikas in their television show and stuff. Oh, who was? Sam Hyde, like Million Dollar Extreme. That's good. They were like hiding shit in the episodes. Like swastikas and stuff perfect which might have you know

a lot of TV networks some of them are cool with swastikas in the shows yeah just don't hide it like just be you know be up front about it yeah I'm cool I'm down with it you know as long as you're honest about who you are who am I to complain exactly man fucking exactly

god it's hot outside right now there was a nice breeze this morning. Yeah, a nice Drew breeze. The football player came over and sucked me off. Did he? He did, yeah. How were his lips? Horrible at giving head. Were they chapped?

He's a good kisser, but he's horrible at giving head. Okay, okay. Like, his lips are pretty nice. Does he have any facial hair? Or has he shaved? He shaved it for me. Okay. But, you know, we made out for a bit, and it was pretty hot. And then he went, you know, he did a thing where he, like,

kissed my neck and then down my chest and belly, and then he undoes my pants, and he takes out my hard shaft, and he starts sucking on it. Was it like going up on a roller coaster than just realizing you're just going on a flat level? Yeah, man, I was running my hands through his hair and everything. There's no downhill. It's just flat. And I was saying, Drew, I thought you'd be a little better with level. Yeah, man. I was running my hands through his hair and everything. There's no downhill. It's just flat.

And I was saying, Drew, I thought you'd be a little better with balls. You know what I'm saying? He didn't pay any attention to the balls. Did he even laugh at the joke? No. He was gagging on my cock. Yeah. My big fucking 12-inch penis.

And I got the surgery to extend it a couple inches. That's good. But a lot of teeth involved. Not enough saliva. Kept making weird sounds too yo mama makes weird sounds when i have sex with her i go miss hand and then she goes she goes lick my lick my nips and I go Is that you drinking breast milk?

Yeah dude Dude I was watching I stick a crazy straw in that nip God What? The one that spells your name in cursive. Yeah. And you watch it like

go through the letters, the breast milk. I watch it curdle as it almost makes it through. You gotta suck real hard. It's cottage cheese by the time it gets there. Dude,

I was watching this show, this TLC show. That's someone right now is eating. He's like, okay, there it is. We always come out of nowhere with it.

First, it was the bullshit political discussion. I wish they'd shut the fuck up about with their uninformed bullshit, and now it's there. We are uninformed. Yeah, I'm uninformed. But, you know.

It doesn't mean I can't fucking say shit. Have a conversation. And tell lies to hundreds of thousands of people. There was, there's this show I watch called Extreme Cheapskates. It's a TLC show, and it focuses on a couple different people per episode. And one of them,

they had a baby, but buying the formula was too, like they didn't want to spend the money on that. So she would just like ask her other friends that were pregnant like, can I have breast milk? She would just keep their breast milk like in their fridge and freezer. Like and always get more from them. And like labeling. She's like, she likes

Jennifer's breast milk the most. She can always get more from them. And, like, labeling. She's like, she likes Jennifer's breast milk the most. She can't get enough of it. And they, like, forwarded the woman's breast milk. She can't get enough of it. And then, oh, my God, it's disgusting. What she does for change. So, like, the woman, the same woman, when she would clean, like, the kid's ass after the kid shit itself with the diaper she'd use homemade wet wipes

that she made and then she would just fold them and reuse them like save them and put them back into the box and reuse them to clean off the fucking kitchen table what? yeah well dude they're folded you can't waste good wet wipes just cause there's a little poop on it doesn't mean that the whole thing's bad is that what she said you can't

waste good wet wipes? essentially and it's like she makes them out of paper towels too. So it's like, she like soaks, she soaks paper towels and like cleaning spray and shit. That's fucking, that's fucking disgusting.

That, that, wet wipes aren't that. That makes me want to vomit. I won't. There's a thing as being frugal. I mean, there's a thing as it's like,

penis? Is there ever, is that like classified as, man, would you knock it off? You know how there's like, pack rats and there's hoarders and that's considered a mental illness?

Is there one for frugalness that's to that level? Because this show looks like it. Does it have a name? Because it looks like that is a real condition. There are some people out there that actually it affects their lives. I feel like there's an extreme for everything. I'm sure there's a name for it.

I don't know it. But like, you know, there's like, even for every addiction, there's some sort of name, even though most of the time it's just them lazily putting addict at the end of it. Well, you have WBSD, right? Yeah. Women Be Shopping Disorder, where you're always going out and buying lots of, lots of clothes. And I can't stop.

I'm always, I'm always wearing always wearing the the the fanciest stuff looks good not not on super mega because i don't want to you don't want to look the brands are so high class that i would actually be served to cease and desist if i used any of their merch on our on our content well it's also like you don't want to look like a dick by wearing something so nice i don't mind i want people to know but, when you go out with the fucking Louis suit on and the fucking Alexander Wang socks and the Marc Jacobs hat, you look – I mean, the hat looks goofy, but it was 20 grand. I mean, my favorite – Sorry, the belt buckle was 20 grand. The hat was more.

The hat was like 65? The hat was like in between. It was like 65, 75. It was something five. I can't remember in between, it was like 65, 75. It was something, something five. I can't remember, but it was, I don't know. I just, it's just fun to wear it around and see if people, you know, look at me in a certain way. To realize that I am better than them. Well, the paparazzi, when they follow us home from the office, they usually ditch me and go straight for you because they want to-

Do they see what I'm wearing? They want to see the fit. They want to know what I'm wearing. They want to know the drip. Every day they're like, okay, what are you wearing today, Mr. McGee? Those Alexander McQueens. Alexander McQueen killed himself because his mom died. And he was so sad.

That is sad. Yeah. You know, that is very sad. But it's just such a, never heard of that. Someone's mom dies and they kill themselves over that. That's crazy. Well, he must have already been pretty depressed. I didn't know the guy i wouldn't know you didn't know you didn't know alexander mcqueen like alexander mcqueen it's like it's like for me in my head i

i just picture like people having a nice dinner discussion it was like they're talking about fashion then you you know alex mc the fashion guy, you know, he killed himself because his mom died, then like the forks just come to a stop and also Giovanni Versace actually was murdered by a gay lover shot dead at his place

that's interesting okay, so did you end up actually getting the new Tesla down payment down or like do you have to reserve it or Derek Zoolander

what I gotta watch two again I gotta give two another shot I told you when I rewatched it a couple years later

because the first time I saw it I did not like it at all I wouldn't say it's good but it's you and I saw it together it aged better I think like the jokes are

a little more funny now I think than they were Justin Bieber gets killed the Justin Bieber Like, the jokes are a little more funny now, I think, than they were. Justin Bieber gets killed. The Justin Bieber part in the beginning was really funny. Okay. I don't know. Also, since... Does he do a model face?

Yeah, where he takes his last selfie. He's like, you know. Remember when everyone hated Justin Bieber? I think a lot of people still do. Well, Justin Bieber went in phases. It was like the teen heartthrob that all the boys hated. It was like, oh, Justin Bieber's so gay. And he started giving legitimate reasons for people to hate him,

like pissing in mop buckets in the back of a restaurant. Or like throwing water balloons at his rich neighbor's houses or like causing a ruckus. His deposition video, I remember watching when it came out, and I hated him because he was so smug in it. But there's always like someone worse eventually. Like then the Paul brothers came along. But Justin Bieber then turned it around and then started making music for like older,

the generation that grew up with him. And then all of a sudden, you know, he's all chill. I get my peaches down in Georgia. That sounds pretty good. I'm not going to lie. I can vibe to it. Justin Bieber, like in middle school, I would never admit. Like Justin Bieber's awful. Like, oh, but remember like Smosh made fun of Justin Bieber. Like Justin Bieber, like, in middle school, I would never admit. Like, because Justin Bieber's awful.

Remember, like, Smosh made fun of Justin Bieber? Like, Justin Bieber's the joke. I have a meme on my phone that's like, it's a picture of Justin Bieber and it's like, like this picture if you see a girl. And it's just a picture of Justin Bieber. Which I think's pretty funny. I gave the Justin Bieber movie in high school a positive review

in the school paper. Me and a buddy, Dallas, went to go see it together and we both reviewed it. It gave it a nice positive review. Said this documentary was nice. Nice, man. And I love Jay Biebs.

You know, back in high school, I had a few, I downloaded, I told you, I downloaded his acoustic album, I Closed My Eyes. He had one Christian song called Pray. So I remember laying in bed with my iPod Nano, the one that had radio. The little tiny thin one. Yeah, that had radio on it.

I was like, sick. And Baby came on. Radio the movie with Cuban Gooding Jr.? I took up every gigabyte on there with multiple copies of radio. Radio director's cut. There's just several scenes with him just jerking off in Radio director's cut. There's just several scenes with him just jerking off in the director's cut. But it wasn't in character.

No, it was just Cuba Gooding Jr. back in his trailer, just, finally, after playing radio all day, I got to bust one out. But he still had the teeth in. And he did the voice sometimes. But he was just still he would do it when he was coming and it was pretty funny uh but basically i listened to baby for the first

i was like it's so good and i looked and saw it was justin bieber's like oh i was like baby baby baby i like i like justin bieber's music ludicrous was in baby that's right can you imagine like they i don't know it just seems like a weird thing for Ludacris to do. I mean, the kid's popular, but it's like he goes from being like... Was he in Fast and Furious movies yet? I feel like he was. But he was also, you know, doing, Get back, motherfucker.

You don't know me like that. You know, that type of stuff. And then all of a sudden he co-stars in a little boy's music video. I made a facebook group when i was find that odd at all i think if it was like his like i want to do this but may i think probably was like his his label was like do this yeah but if we saw this at because back when we were like around justin's age we didn't think because it's just like oh big rapper got into this got into justin's beat well i i thought it was weird when Ty Dolla Signs went on Bad Baby's track.

Well, Ty Dolla Signs, isn't he just weird in that way? Well, he went on the Bad Baby track. He said some things. When I see weird in that way... See, I like Ty Dolla Signs' music. Okay. I thought the bad... Isn't he a bit sus, as the kids would say?

You know, Ty Dolla Signs going on like... No, Tyga's sus. Yeah. Tyga's sus. Yeah. Tyga's very sus. It's pronounced Tiger. No, it's not. But I made a Facebook page. Remember like back then when you just like Facebook pages that were like, soda is better

than water. Yeah. I made one that was called, like this if you think Justin Bieber is totally gay for Usher. And I actually found it recently and took it down. How many? Not a lot. I also had one that was like this if you plan on never smoking pot.

And? I was part of it. You had to take it down. I looked in the mirror and I cried a little bit. I was like, what have I become? Because you did smoke pot. I looked in the mirror and I said, what have I become?

The first time wasn't with Daniel and I, but the first time you got high was with Daniel and I, at least. Well, see, the first time, yeah, you're right, you're right. Well, I don't even know if I could count the first time because I don't know if I really inhaled it. I was just kind of doing it for like looks

and I felt guilty and called my mom afterwards and told her I smoked pot and she was like okay. I hid that shit from my parents until they found out because I was stupid and got like a bong delivered to the house And it came in there's like a bong sized package and just literally bong shaped like the cardboard It's like it's a tripod and they're like, okay, but then of course my dad because he's He knows when something's from it's for

Tobacco my favorite thing dude Have you ever seen the video where like the mom opens they're like he opens the package, and it's a bong, and the mom's like, what? What is this? And he's like, what the heck? I ordered an Xbox card. What the heck? What even is this? Is this, like, a vase?

It looks like a vase. He's like, China Pernade doesn't know what it is. And she's, like, yelling at him. I ordered an Xbox card. Isn't that, like, the sister filming, like, the mom finding out? Same with the video of, like, the mom listening to, like, the teenage son's, like, rap same with the video of like the mom listening to like the teenage son's like rap playlist oh my god

and he's like he's like less live she's like you're smiling it's this video the kid opens bong in front of his mom in front of his mom well she makes him open it I just love how he looks like he tries to look so I have no idea what this is I have no idea She makes him open it. I just love how he looks. Like he tries to look so... I have no idea what this is.

I'm trying to see what it is. I'm trying to see. It's on screen for the YouTube viewers. His brain is firing off to figure out like how the hands are sweating. Potentially get out of this situation. It's like a vase. He's like getting... He's like...

He knows that there has to come to an end Of him opening it It's a base for a bunch of things Xbox card to Xbox remote Dude some people just aren't born to act Matt I was just like what the frick I order Xbox remote some people just can't even act

you know like he can't oh I have no idea I wonder if lying is just like that as a kid you're just never actually good at it too no parents usually unless you're like a little snake like a little socio, you might be able to live like that. Like a little socio-psychopath. But, no, I mean,

you know, people never know when we're lying. That was real. Is that a lie? Was it a lie? Who knows? It smells real. Dude, if it was like the one you did earlier, it smelled like a fucking baby's diaper

Like I'm in like a fucking Target Yeah it smelled like I shit my pants Yeah And you did it It's in my direction You know I can't wait To have cameras on the podcast

So people can actually see This one's sticking around a little bit But it's not as bad as the last one But it's still It's like a It's like a dry poop It's like a dry dog Like dry dog poop

It smells like a diaper Come on dude Are we gonna have to put more Ad reads here then? I guess so because I got to fucking get out of here. We'll air it out for a little bit. Here's some ads. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental

health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register

today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder with cheese and play a fish show, please. Make grittas and McMuffin and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, HodgePot, hotcakes, vanilla, corn shake, and a hot bar. Sunday. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Okay, the room is now, has been cleared out of all smells. Awful. Of all awful smells, yes. Then we went out and we took a little break and we went outside and you did it again.

But outside. Did you do it again outside? I farted outside, yeah. Yes, you did. It smelled like so fucking bad. You were going crazy out there with the farts, man. Wanda didn't mind, it seems. Yeah. We got some news here.

We have an unfortunate update regarding Wanda. She is still well. Regarding Wanda. She is still well. She's, in fact, if anything, she's better than ever because she has now had three different litters of little baby doves this year alone. Yep. Every other year she only came once and had doves and then left. But this year she's been back three times. But today we came to the office and we saw that the new, because she'd been sitting there for a bit

we saw a baby dove in the nest and we thought it was weird because usually there's two and we remember there was one incident where one of the baby doves previously had fallen out of the nest or something happened so we had to put it back in. But he was it ended up being fine.

And so they eventually grew up and flew away. So this is the new litter. We only saw one. We thought it was weird. And I was recanting the story of how last time one jumped out, I think all of us at the same time just looked down and unfortunately was a dead baby dove. Yeah, looks like poor little guy fell out of the nest

and didn't make it. The fall just was too much. Where it was located, it looks like it probably might have just died from the fall. It was right underneath, and it looked like its neck was... So I picked it up, put it in my pocket to take home.

Yeah, but we were real sad about that. There should be an update on Patreon with some pictures. Not of the dead bird, but of Wanda and her new baby. She's very protective over this one. See how close they were? She's cuddling close to it.

She has a lot more room now that the other one's out of the nest. I loved the last batch of doves. They looked so stupid. Like, she'd be up there and they'd both just be sitting there, just perfectly like, perfectly still, like, blinking, just staring. They're so goofy looking. You were asking if you're, like, do you think that they, like, grieve over that? Yeah, do, like, I bet you I could look that up right now. I was saying, I feel like animals like that just run, like, computer programs just on instinct, and I don't know if they have the capacity to feel emotions like or to even comprehend that like oh the baby died the doves have been known to watch over their

deceased mates and try to care for them and to return to the place where the birds died it's best not to attach human emotions to animals but it does appear the surviving birds feel the loss in some way the morning dove got its name because of its mournful sounding call so it's more like it's yeah I wouldn't say it's like oh no you're dead no it's like they can't like process but it's like

it's more like not even I don't even know if a sadness just instinct elephants mourn and that shit's Elephants mourn. Yep. And that shit's sad. Whales mourn.

Yeah. Whales experience depression. Killer whales. And dolphins. Animals like that, like octopuses and shit. Octopi, octopussy. Very smart. John Oliver's new special on octopuses.

John Oliver? John Oliver? He has a special on octopuses? Not like a comedy special, but he had a segment or something. I saw it on my YouTube thumbnails. It was like John Oliver and then a picture of an octopus and it was titled Octopus. Oh, I thought you meant like he made like a full documentary about octopus.

And I was like, what? I wish. Narrated by none other than the soothing voice of John Oliver. I'll never forget that time he said Drumpf and then the big letters went crazy. Cheeto hands Trump. Commander in Cheeto.

Him and Trevor Noah should team up. Comedy geniuses. You know? Trevor Noah? One time on a dating app, this girl said that she was obsessed with Trevor Noah. And she went on a date? Well, in her bio it said, so I messaged her and I said, I know a Trevor,

but I never Trevor Noah. And it made no sense and she didn't respond. Oh, wow. Jackson and I came up with that and thought it was really funny. She probably didn't get it. Yeah, no.

You know women are. They don't get comedy the same way we do. Yeah, everything's so serious because they have to like, okay, that's the thing. Well, periods, you thing. Women are better at multitasking, but men are better at being

funny. That's just how it is. Are they though, Ryan? I mean, think about it. There's a lot to do. You gotta sweep the floors. You gotta clean the toilets. That's true. You gotta cook the meals for the children. And you know what's... And the husband. And the husband, yes. And, goddammit, dude,

sometimes when I get home from a long day of recording Let's Plays and there's not dinner on the table when I get home, goddammit, that pisses me off. Yeah, usually first servings go to your wife's boyfriend. Yep. Hopefully he leaves you leftovers sometimes. If you think I'm pissed off when I get home and there's no food on the table. Dude, I can't imagine Eric, I mean. Stop.

Sorry, just cut that out. I'll bleep it out. But I can't imagine your wife's boyfriend. He gets more mad than me. Well, he's more macho and has more testosterone, so I think that it's natural

for him to get more angry. Because he takes a lot of testosterone supplements. So he gets red and he gets like very, there's times where he just gets like I can smell him from another room because it's just man musk.

And I mean it's good for my wife because when he gets that way like maybe it's steroids I don't know. Maybe it's roid rage. She gets more like wet for him because it's like pheromones you know. So it's essentially pre-lubed for you. You know how dogs like sniff each other's ass. It's pheromones, you know? So it's essentially pre-lubed for you. You know how dogs sniff each other's ass?

It's pheromones. It's kind of like that. And then he'll take her up into our bedroom, and I just hear... Well, this wall's made out of cement, so I don't... Does he beat her? He does sometimes, but I was making the motion of sex. But it's like, is that what they're into?

No, no, no, no. They're not into it sexually. So he's just abusive. Well, when he beats her it's always for good cause. It's always justified. For a good reason. It's never for no reason, right? So like she messed up.

She burnt the casserole or some shit. Something that she should know not to do. She accidentally wore mismatching socks on a date or something. Well, that was embarrassing. I was embarrassed for her for that time because they were black socks and they were both black socks but one of them was slightly taller than the other

yeah because it was from a different pair of socks and I guess she didn't notice that and you know took her out back to the restaurant taught her a lesson or two

I didn't get to see that I'm not allowed to see it when he does that but you know you still have to go out in like the suit and bow tie the sex

yeah the sex though the sex is I can hear him on the sex and it sounds great, man. So the sex is better than ever in your household? Yeah, it sounds like she's really enjoying herself. Good. And him, it's just a bunch of low guttural groans and growls, snarls.

He's just there to provide a service for her at the end of the day. Oh, and also the emotional side, you know? Yeah. He's a very tender lover when he chooses to be. And when he lets me, you know? Yeah. You know, he's, he's a, he's a very tender lover when he, when he chooses to be. Um, and when he, when he lets me,

you know, it's very emotional. Just maybe he gets a little too emotional when dinner's not on the table, as you were saying, unfortunately. Yeah. But I mean, also with,

with a guy that muscular and macho, you need sustenance to sustain that level of muscle, right? Do you, do you, do you still cook them snacks for like, you know, the post coitus snacks?

Yeah, I don't cook. I'm not allowed to use the oven. Well, do you go in with the water bottles like you usually do? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And the celery sticks.

I'm sorry, you used to do, but you still do that, right? Well, now, yes. So now he just told me to start leaving outside the door. It's the little mini muffins, the little bites. Okay. The little chocolate chip ones. That's nice. I got blueberry ones and not happy. See, I love blueberry. See, the little bites. Okay. The little chocolate chip ones. That's nice. I got blueberry once and not happy.

See, I love blueberry. See, I do too. And I thought I'd mix it up. I would prefer blueberry over chocolate. I thought I'd mix it up for him. Like, oh, he's used to the chocolate chip. You know, this time after he's done having sex with my wife, maybe he can be like, ooh, blueberry.

Thanks, man. Would he enjoy raisin or do you think that's definitely not good? Oh, absolutely not. Okay. No, no. So no oatmeal, raisin cookies or anything? He doesn't eat fruit or vegetables, I found out. So just actually just meat. So no oatmeal raisin cookies? He doesn't eat fruit or vegetables, I found out.

Actually, just meat. I would cook for them if I could use the appliances that I bought. It used to be the point where he had to use a bell, but now the synergy between y'all is so good that he barely has to... Maybe one little dink comes out, but you're already there. Well, he's usually breathing really heavy, and I can always tell when he needs something because I stop hearing that. I hear, because I can feel it.

He's starting to get pent up, angry. He's like, okay, where's the water? Where's the... The wheezing, the groaning has stopped. Where's the muffins? The chocolate chip little muffins? But the way my wife sounds when she's getting fucked by him does sound like he's doing a...

Do you think it's going to save y'all's marriage? It's borderline painful. It's screaming, but it's in a good... Do you think it's going to save y'all's marriage yes it's already saved our marriage dude I mean I on the nights the rare occasions when they let me

pull my air mattress up next to the bed and watch? no I don't watch but they at least I can when they go to sleep after they fall asleep I can pull my air mattress up sometimes and I don't watch, but they at least, when they go to sleep, after they fall asleep, I can pull my air mattress up sometimes. And I don't know. She just looks so happy and peaceful when she sleeps with him. It's just really.

Most of the time you can't see that smile because they're usually facing each other. Right. When she turns over in the middle of the night. It's such a beautiful love affair. And I wish that I could have a love like that one day. You will. I just like making my wife happy. Well, I mean, I'm married. I'm not a love like that one day. You will. I'd just like making my wife happy. Well, I mean, I'm married.

I'm not going to ever, you know. I would never cheat on my wife. 50% of all marriages end in divorce, something like that, right? I don't think that's a real statistic. Well, it's probably higher than that then. I mean, your parents are together. My parents are together. My parents got divorced.

My parents got divorced too. Are Matt's parents really divorced? Yes. Yes, they're divorced. So they got divorced a couple years back while we were Dale got caught with a few strippers male strippers

you know well one of them was that Filipino dude the pygmy guy but basically he's cute for those that keep talking about it online yes my parents got divorced a couple years back it happened while we were making Super Mega keep talking about it online. Yes, my parents got divorced a couple years back. It happened while we were making Super Mega.

And I'm not going to say Ryan's, the things you were saying about my mom, I'm not going to say it did not contribute to the tension in the marriage, but... There are a few things I've said, I'm sure, where your dad was like, okay, why is he so comfortable saying these things? I do ask that everyone respect this because I don't want my parents to be like, why did you

put that out there and people are harassing? You know. But yeah, my dad has a problem with that. Well, maybe they should have thought about that before they had a failed marriage. You know? Yeah, honestly, yeah. I mean, the only good thing to come out of that marriage was American YouTube star Matt Watson. Yeah.

Nothing else. What's your sister going to do? Sam does not count as an achievement, as an accomplishment. She counts as kind of like a consolation prize if all things go south with the YouTube ventures for you. Like, then it's like, okay. I don't even know if you could call it a consolation prize because if the YouTube stuff goes south, which it will, I think that. Always does. It always does. But I think that, think that i don't she just doesn't have that many redeeming qualities going for her she's got a thick ass yeah she has a really thick ass it's

nice and a nice juicy ass but i don't you know i just like she's not she's smart maybe if she shacked up with me your parents would be a little more you know well she's really good she's what so her specialty is finance she's really good at, she's what, so her specialty is finance. She's really good at finances. She works in finance and honestly, now that you and I are making about six million a month, maybe you guys could get together. Only six million? Oh, I thought it was more than that.

Are you making more than six? Because we're supposed to write ourselves six million dollar paychecks each month. Are you writing more than that? I don't write, I don't write. I haven't noticed. I don't even need to check the bank account. But basically, you know, if you got my sister... Whatever the email saved for my assistant to do, he does. So, you know. Eddie? Hmm? Eddie?

Yeah. He writes the checks for me, at least. Yeah, Eddie does a good job. Not like he's in charge of the money, but like, I just don't... I don't check the bank account. I don't have time to go to the bank early or like to... But what I'm saying is she can handle your finances and you might be a good couple. Okay.

Because my brother-in-law... Do you think me and your mom would make a good couple? I do, yes, actually. Do you think I could make her laugh? Absolutely. Do you think I could tickle her fancy in the most charming of ways? I do think you could tickle her fancy in the most charming of ways, because my mom always says it. So, like, well, I'll send her, like, a new video we're working on. I just sent her one that's not released yet.

Oh, yeah. A very good, high quality one. And, you know, I'm excited for her to be like, wow, Matt, like, you guys did such a good job. We're like, wow, Matt, your verse on that was really good. And, God, Ryan is so attractive. What your mom said? Yeah.

She said, God, he's just so attractive. And then, uh, um, I showed someone else the Hooters video and they just said, you know, they didn't say, wow, Matt, that's funny. You're a natural comedian. They said, God, Ryan's skin is so nice. I think you're missing the sarcasm

in these people's tone whenever they're saying things. Ryan, your skin is actually, you have insanely nice skin and hair. Like you got, in terms of collagen and biotin, you got it good, man. You got really fucking good skin for real.

And hair. I don't see any problems with your skin. You got really fucking good skin for real. And hair. I don't see any problems with your skin. Your skin looks baby smooth. No, my skin is... No, what do you mean no? I'm looking at it right now. I don't see any red bumps or ker-smudge-ins or anything. I do, I do break out.

I'm breaking out right here, but... I can't tell. I don't see it. See, my skin does get a little oily, but... The problem with my skin is you have a good complexion. I have that very pale, sick, crack is, you have a good complexion. I have like that very pale sick crackhead look. And especially under my eyes, I've always had these dark circles

under my eyes. It's the duskiness, you know, thanks to my mom's side of the family. Yeah. Yeah. The added little, added little like sand coating. Have you ever seen a Middle Eastern person with acne? No. So, I mean, that's, that's why you don't. That is true. I don't think I've ever, as far as I can remember. Because every Middle Eastern person I meet, I keep a catalog in my head.

Not a single Middle Eastern person on this earth has ever had acne because of the way their skin has developed for the desert. You know what? A lot of Muslims don't drink alcohol. Maybe that's why. They don't break out. Hey, I don't drink that much alcohol. Yeah. They don't break out.

Hey, I don't drink that much alcohol. Yeah. Well, I doubt like all these kids in high school that like get a shit ton of acne when they're going, you know, when they're, when they're, I think, well, acne is usually the worst. It was like in middle school. Like middle school, early high school-ish. For me and the people that I knew that struggled with it, it was, it was high school. I actually, I used to, actually, the worst I ever had acne, I didn't really get it in high school. It was actually after we already started Super Mega. And if you go back in old videos, there are videos where I do have like pretty bad breakouts in some of them.

And I go back and like, whoa, I don't get acne anymore. Like really because I honestly all I all I can contribute it to, which I've been told apparently is real, was just when I just stopped dairy pretty much not like in a vegan way. I eat nothing but I drink milk, I eat cheese, nothing. I think my body's just stupid. But I've tested it. If I drink a glass of milk, I do break out the next day. And apparently it's a real thing. You gotta get your body used to that God-tier beverage.

Not by choice, I just kind of stopped drinking milk and eating cereal with milk for like five or six months just because i didn't buy any i didn't have it so i just didn't but then uh when i fortunate like ice cream and cheese and stuff it's always a sad day to know that my my friend had stopped drinking milk i wonder how much milk you've consumed in your life gallons wise shit ton so many gallons well we almost had a full gallon in that one take when too mad came over. Yeah, that was great. You know, I actually, um, so I like, I really

like oat milk. It's good. Do you like Oatly? What do you like? Oatly's good, but nothing beats like real whole milk, like that creamy thickness, like nothing beats that. That's my go-to milk. Horizon whole milk? Horizon, the Omega 3D Whatever the fuck. Whatever, all that shit.

Delicious. And the thing 3D, whatever the fuck, whatever, all that shit. Delicious. And the thing is, I just because I do break out when I when I have it, like I'll buy it. I'll test. I keep testing. I'll test it. And then I have couples of cereal and then like same week I break out like on my forehead or my cheek. Usually it's also if I smoke nicotine, I break out on my cheeks. And when I back in like 2018 or 2019

when we did the noob dude E3 shit I had the cyst in my face and that was when I was heavily drooling and then when I stopped tobacco it just kind of went away which apparently according to the Chinese charts of the face and stuff this is lungs and then this is stomach

like gut so. Want to feel old piss boy? Well also one of the reasons i i was like i got stopped drinking and not drink as much was because alcohol ages you pretty bad so i was like i don't well so does tobacco and look at me man you look your age i feel like i feel like i i feel like i i don't know maybe we're all we're always the tougher critic on ourselves yeah you know dude like you're you look great for your age. The skin is just so... For my age? Well, you're an old man. Yeah.

27. Yeah, I know, dude. We started this channel when I was 21, right? And I'll listen back to this, but goddamn, I miss when I was 25. I'm 39 now. Yeah. But I graduated high school like 10 years ago. Damn, yeah. Almost 10 years ago.

It'd be in 2022. It's going to be a decade since graduation seven for me i just passed seven seven years out of high school that's weird but oat milk i'm so milk substitutes like almond milk or soy milk like i'm not a fan of almond milk or soy i'm not either soy milk is the way to go. Soy milk makes my mouth itchy. Because it's kind of like drinking a nice sweet oatmeal. That's how I kind of have it in my brain. Oatly is my favorite brand of oat milk. What I just discovered, I got Chobani extra creamy oat milk.

And it is by far the closest thing to like Horizon whole milk I've ever had. And when I eat it with a bowl of cereal, I cannot tell the difference. Okay. I'll have to test it out. Soy milk, like silk had. And when I eat it with a bowl of cereal, I cannot tell the difference. Okay. I'll have to test it out. Soy milk, like silk. I don't know if, I don't know what is with soy. It makes my mouth and my tongue and my throat itch really bad.

Almond milk, it's too watery and nutty for me. But oat milk is fucking, Chobani extra creamy. That shit is like. Those are the yogurt guys, right? It's really creamy. It's really thick. Those are the yogurt guys, right? Also the guy from Chobani is the CEO of Juul. So yogurt and nicotine.

That's interesting. But the two things that make me break out. Yogurt and nicotine. Nicotine. He's the fucking, he's the headmaster of my acne. Yeah, but that's, you know, if you ever want to try a milk substitute, try the Chobani Extra Creamy. It's very thick. When I can always have my delicious whole milk.

That's true, man. Your body is obviously very clearly acclimated to milk. Sometimes I just want milk and cookies and I'll just... Milk and cookies, man. Dude, Oreos and milk, like late at night, you're really hungry. It's just warm chocolate chip cookies dipped in milk. And it gets softer. It soaks it up. When you dip Oreos, do you like, I hold them in for like 10 seconds.

I want it to be soft. I just dunk them. Like, no, I put it. I don't want there to be a crunch when I bite it. I want it to be right before it's going to break off. Like, because it's too soft. But I hate when you actually want to drop the Oreo in. And then you got to like, you like fish it out.

You got to fish it out with your big fucking fingers. Usually. Your sausage fingers. The thought of sticking my fingers in milk and then drinking it feels gross. So I'll just let it stay at the bottom and then at the end I'll just like drink the sludge

that's the I don't like like the chunks sometimes flying back into my throat of like the crumbs and stuff left behind if you leave one

at the bottom of your milk I got these canned protein shakes ew and sometimes I forget to shake them first

and are they good? yeah they're fine but the bottom has a the bottom has the bottom will have a lot of like protein

like that's globbed up and like congealed and I'll forget and I'll be it clumps dude well it's like kind of grainy too

so I'll be at the very like kind of like sand and I'll be at the very end and I'll just like like lift it like swig it up and it just blows into my mouth

like all these like gooey chunks and sandy shit and I'm like and I gotta spit it out it's disgusting. I remember one of the worst things was like in the high school or middle school

well they serve the same milk throughout elementary to high school but in the milk cartons whenever they just freeze them too much there would be ice collected in them. Like a slushy milk. I don't want slushy milk. Come on. I'm a growing boy. Do you remember I remember in elementary school when they'd read the announcements, they would say the

lunch menu every day. Today is peach slices, pizza, peas, and milk. Every single day. And, well, for us, the big thing was in a barai, in elementary school. You know, we had Navigator the alligator giving us the uh the school lunches in the morning and he kind of sound and he kind of sounded like this or just anyone doing that type of voice so it was just like the voice would switch out every now and that's fun yeah and so the big thing at the end be today we're having pizza peas rice pil rice, pilaf, hamburgers, and a variety of milk.

And it was always on that beat. And a variety of milk. I have it just in my brain now. A variety of milk. A variety of milk. Speaking of sipping things that are gross, I just picked up the sparkling water next to me thinking that it was the one I was drinking earlier today. It's old, right? It's probably over a week old.

Was there some mold in it? I felt something physical in my mouth when I took that first sip and I spit it right back in the can. You saw me, right? It felt like it could have been like a fly or something. It went in my mouth and I spit it back. We should pour it out and see what it was.

Now it's like there's nothing I can do about it. Can I see the drink real quick? I'm going to go pour it into a bowl. Hold up. Or pour it in the sink or something. Yeah, you can pour it in a bowl. Hold up, I'll be right back. There was something in there.

Yeah, I poured it out and I was shaking it back and forth and I felt like a little like... There was something in there. It might have been a little fly. Did you get it out? No. I just threw the can away. I couldn't get it out of the can.

It wasn't pouring out because the little lip thing was still like. Yeah, there was, there was, there was something in there. There was something. And it entered my mouth. Could have been a little mold. Could have been a little, you know. I'd rather it be mold than fly. Than a fly.

Why? Because mold is a beautiful creature. Mold is, mold is like fungus. And like, I can rationalize that to be less gross in my mind. See, for me, I think I would rather... Flies are just bugs. Flies are just so gross and dirty. They're maggots grown up.

But mold, for me, if it's on a drink, it's... That fly could have been born out of a rotting possum's organs just two days ago. Beautiful. It's the circle of life, baby. The circle of life baby mold the circle mold is it consumes our soul dude i just got a great prank for someone like brent let's start going over to brent's every week like let's have steak dinners every week but what i'll do is i'll get like black mold and then i'm gonna go use the bathroom and i'll go inside from his back and i'll start i'll sprinkle like black mold around his house every week so because you can get to a point with

with black with mold and shit that like you have to just like you can't you can't fix it like it's too much um i saw a video of a guy that had like his tv had black mold and he's like how can i fix this everyone's like just get a fucking black mold well the mold was all over the TV, and it was on the inside, and it wouldn't leave. And it's like, bro. But I think we should start, dude, at Brent's, bed bugs and mold. Let's start introducing that into Brent's nice-ass house. Maybe that'll teach him to clean his penis a little more. Dude.

How do you even, what do you do if you were, like, to find mold in your bathroom to clean it? Oh, mold in the bathroom i use uh there's a uh i use like there's sprays there's that pink ring that sometimes about i just use a cleaner for the toilet but for the tub just toilet just tub cleaner what i do is i have this uh actually the tenants before me left it for me i guess but it's it's like a spray bottle that when you get out of the shower you just spray it around a little bit and it keeps mold from growing. Okay. It's like a cleaner.

But like if you get like the pink mold in your shower, that's really normal. You can just use bleach or Mr. Clean or like any cleaning products to get rid of that. Yeah. I mean, if it's a moist environment. I just use regular toilet cleaner or tub cleaner and that's it. I mean, toilets and tubs grow mold because it's just a warm, wet environment. It's fancy, like, not fancy, but if there was like some home remedy that people use. I just spray garlic on it and it dissolves within the next 24 hours.

Just got to make sure to sprinkle some sugar on that garlic though or else you will see a more ravenous case of black mold. Sugar and spice and garlic. Sugar, spice, everything nice. What you need? Some woman killed her husband with sugar water recently. Essentially like caramelized water. Or like caramelized. How?

Because it was too much sugar? Huh? How did he die from it? Because it was boiling sugar water. Oh. So you know how people make caramel? Yep. We just like melt sugar, burn it.

That's what she melted the sugar essentially. And so like it's not really like just water with some sugar grains in it. It becomes this kind of like it's like hot sludge yeah it's like lava so yeah fucking killed him just poured it on him in his sleep jesus yeah that sucks for him getting burned getting burned is off it sucks dude burns are the worst i i think uh people were saying that when like you're making a lot of comments in the youtube like i've tried to make caramel before in a little bit got on my finger and there's i've never felt the worst pain of my life because it stinks man it's like tar it's like it's like a

little it's like it's like we're gods and we just made lava mm-hmm i mean that's probably the closest shit to lava that you can make at home just caramel caramel, or sugar and water, put it on the stove. Don't fucking get... Hot water challenge, y'all. Hot caramel challenge, y'all. Hot caramel challenge. That would have been a lot worse because the water will come right off and evaporate.

The caramel sticks and burns. Yep. What's the worst burn you've ever had? When I put my leg on the side of a muffler on my dad's old motorcycle. Not when I fucked your mom? Yeah. No, but it was the muffler. And I still have like a, like, oh, you can, it's barely visible, but you can, okay.

See if you can get up close. Hold up, let's see. I'm trying to point out, because it's here to this day. Let me see. See this? Wait, hold up. How it's like a little more, like, scaly looking. I knew a kid that, when he was a baby, had an iron placed on his hand.

It was wet after the burn. So, like, it looked damp. Your body produces, like, blood. I was screaming. My dad, like, I was young, so my dad, like, picked me up and ran me upstairs, started pouring water on it, I think. Because when you get burned, you gotta put ice and shit, like, water, like... I think the worst burn I ever had was at my friend's house in, like, 8th or 9th grade.

Mm-hmm. And they had a coil stove. Oh. And I leaned back and put my hand down, like, to lean on, and his little sister had left the stove on, and it wasn sister had left the stove on, and it wasn't red anymore, but it was, and I just put my hand down,

and it had been on there. Because it takes a while for your body to tell you. Register, and then on my hand, I had the coil rings like that. Like in a comedy film. I feel like that's out of, it was my whole hand though.

I feel like that's out of Home Alone. Like Marv. Like Marv puts his hand on the stove or puts his head on the stove and the whole gets the coil figures the whole spiral of the coils would like swell up with like pus and shit

I just remember that night like I was asleep over and I remember like in bed like crying holding my hands it's so fucking bad I remember one of my friends made a

made a like a hot pocket when I was back like this must have been elementary school they bit into it and like that Jesus I remember one of my friends made a hot pocket when I was back. This must have been elementary school. They bit into it. That cheese is deadly. It burned their mouth to where they were embarrassed.

Because for about a week, they had just blisters all around their mouth from the burns. Good cover up for herpes. I was eating a hot pocket. But I was there when it happened, so I believed them. I remember their reaction was just like bite into it just wide eyed and then just ran to the bathroom like pizza if you bite into pizza if it's too hot and the roof of your mouth the cheese hits it oh my

fucking god it ruins the rest of the meal you can feel the roof of your mouth like peeling a little bit too and like it doesn't taste as good cause when the pizza hits it it hurts cause it's hot I had my feet were really sunburned recently. I didn't realize. And I ran a really hot bath and I stepped in.

Holy shit, dude. That was one of the most painful things I felt all year. Your mama. Bye, everybody. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality,

it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the

free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.