supermegashow - EP 257 - Turkey-Style Sandwiches and Chocolate Water (ft. NothinButLag)

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

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Thank you. Welcome, guys. Episode 257 of the Super Mega Cast. And today, Ryan and I are lucky enough to be the guests on our good buddy, Justin Butlag's podcast. Welcome back to the Lagcast. Why have you not done that yet, dude? The Lagcast? Yeah, you should starts podcast. Welcome back to the lag cast. Why have you not done that yet, dude? The lag cast? Yeah.

Well, you're on it right now. You're on it right now. That's right. Thanks for having us on. He just also uploads this to his channel. It's like the lag cast episode. You have permission to do that. Thank you.

Did you replace all the maids? The what? The maids. What are you talking about? At the lag plex. At the lag plex? Yeah. You said you wouldn't come to the Lagplex. At the Lagplex? Yeah. You said you wouldn't come to the shitty super megaplex, so we had to come all the way here.

And I will say, Justin, this is nice. Yeah. Beverly Hills Real Estate. I like how we're like in kind of a glass sphere overlooking like all of Los Angeles. It's very beautiful. But what I like is that it's like the two-way or the one-way mirror thing where it's like people can't see what we're doing inside. It just looks like a metallic silver ball.

Yeah, Tom Cruise is right down the street. Fucking Christina Applegate. Ooh, is that him? Oh, down there walking his dog. Oh, I think that is him. No, that's not him. That's fucking Bradley Cooper. Oh, they look... Yeah. Dude, they're pretty similar. Yeah, same hair. But thanks, dude.

Yeah, but you you don't have the maids here today no the topless maids usually get no why is that funny sex work is work right what sex work is work why are you why is that funny no i just i just i just it's a little it's a valid job justin justin gets good crack up here i thought that beverly hills crack would be whack but the crack and beverly like because sorry i'm still just off the yeah go downtown you get good crack but beverly hills i thought it'd be like my own that's my own brand how do you think i afford this just in the kitchen with the baking soda fucking cooking it's it's

lag cane nothing but crack it's his own little brand we know someone that's cooked crack do we? you and I yeah who? Brent oh yeah Brent used to

when he was in his 20s used to cook crack for his mom off the record Freddie okay which makes sense Freddie's like

yeah dude I've cooked crack several times yeah his mom would require it like several times a day. But she would, it would die if she didn't get crack. But he was a good son, so. Yeah. Downtown, a guy.

Now you're talking about how I used to cook crack for my mother? Come on. First, the penis shit wasn't enough. You had to go for my mom? Why do you bully this poor guy so much? Because he's lame. Never done anything. He's a hard worker, Justin.

What do you mean he hasn't done anything? Oh, I found out his official business name. Like registered business that he uses for tax purposes. Dude, I love Brent Tholomew. I met him once. Once, he shook my hand, and then he asked if I worked more than two hours a day. That was a dig on us.

Yeah, I know. But I'm like, Brent, we fucking work on holidays for you when we worked for you. Dude, we stayed at the office until like 3 a.m. half the time. You didn't work in the first year. You didn't work on the weekend. We worked on his birthday. And Brent fucking-

Usually we're supposed to get off on Brent's birthday. It's a national holiday. Well, I do get off on Brent's birthday. Did he force you guys to work on the weekends ever? Yes. All the time. He held us at gunpoint. We worked most weekends. We learned later on it was just a water gun spray painted because he actually did pull the trigger and I flinched and then it was just

water and he laughed. Did I ever show you that video of the dude that's the old guy that's asleep and like his grandson I guess like starts playing trumpets and like wakes him up and the dude's like what the fuck? No. He's trying to make him think he died and went to heaven.

I'll see you guys later. I saw this video where it's like this dude asleep on the couch at a party like all of his friends have like hand guns and like they film just waking him a party like all of his friends have like handguns and like they film just waking him up where like all six of them have them just like

pointing at his face like wake your ass up and he's like like they're all around him I saw another one where there's like a mouse like in the corner of like the garage

sitting there and everyone has their guns and he's like man fess up fess up come on it's good shit good shit

they didn't shoot it no are you sure well that'd be awful if they did but it was fine what does mouse taste like Man, fess up. Fess up. That's good shit. Good shit. They didn't shoot it. No. Are you sure? Well, that'd be awful if they did, but it was fine. What does mouse taste like? People eat guinea pig. I wonder if anyone that listens to this has eaten mouse. A lot.

Of course, Justin. You think so? Someone has eaten human that's listening to this. I guess similar to what squirrel would taste like, right? My dad used to shoot squirrels as a kid. Squirrels are rodents, yeah. Why? My dad was like, son, when I was a kid, I'd go hunting squirrels and I'd cook them up

and eat them. I'm like, yeah, you're from South kid, I'd go hunting squirrels and I'd cook them up and eat them. I'm like, yeah, you're from South Carolina for sure. Dwayne, which he goes by Dale, his middle name, because Dwayne, he thought sounded too redneck.

And I'm like, Dwayne sounds less redneck than Dale. I mean, he already eats squirrels. Why is he worried about his name? Exactly. No diss on people that eat squirrels. Didn't he go around your old neighborhood with a BB gun

and shoot all the cats? Squirrels. Which that's go around your old neighborhood with a BB gun and shoot all the cats? And squirrels. Which that's actually not a bit. He did. The BB gun I had as a kid, like when he sees like- He just shoots squirrels with it? Yeah, dude. And my mom-

Psychopath. My mom and I would get so mad. She'd take that sting. What the fuck? She would do it because they would get onto the bird feeder and like start eating the bird seed. And he's like- He's the protector of birds.

And he would hit it and the squirrel would like go running oh no the squirrel tried to eat the fucking nuts that were left in the feeder that's exactly what I said I'm like dad they're scavenging animals and you literally have like there's like a large quantity of nuts like you think in

the wild the birds are like like they only eat a certain type of thing and squirrels eat something completely different so you don't understand the birds are gonna starve unless we do this its instinct is to eat nuts and it's just readily available like perfectly like not even uh like hard to get it's just like here's a whole bunch of nuts and seeds of course the squirrel's gonna go fucking eat it i fucking love nuts man have you seen those squirrel obstacle courses this guy makes on youtube he has just like these squirrels that are just i guess just hang around he makes these obstacle courses for him i have yeah little brain to get to like the to get to like one was a heist themed one that

they had the crack the safe to get all the nuts i love is that his name yeah he's so awesome yeah he gets like 50 bajillion views on every video. Good. Because he uploads like 12 times a year, but like every time it's like, hey, this is like number one on trending for two months. What was, I used to watch this channel. I don't remember what animal it was, but it was like taste testing chips. And they like got like 20 different types of chips and they just had the animal just

like taste testing all the different chips. It wasn't a squirrel. It was a raccoon. It it's like they would put it put them next to each other and like they would either keep eating one or it was a little raccoon or like pick it up and like taste the different chips and like pick what he likes and they'd like what was the what was the number one chip um i think it's like my barbecue or something i don't remember i watched a long time ago it was a whole channel for a raccoon barbecue sweet like trash i fucked with the kettle cooked barbecue chips. Kettle cooked are good. Kettle cooked are good.

That's the way it is. I'm really on that like Pringles, like, what is it called? Like spicy southern heat or whatever. The one that's like kind of dark purple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite Doritos are the- I don't know what that color is. More red.

It's burgundy. Sweet and spicy chili Doritos are my favorite. The purple bag. Those are good. Yep. I'm a Doritos expert. I've had the pickle ones. I've and spicy chili Doritos are my favorite the purple bag those are good I'm a Doritos expert I used to eat nothing but Doritos they were limited

and you could only get them in certain stores in LA but they had pickled Doritos and my friend had them and she said they were like

incredible and I've never been able to find them see I can do like pickled flavored things cause it's really just I just don't like eating pickles

you don't like pickles I just had pickles on my five guys burger pickles are good on I just don't like eating pickles. You don't like pickles? I just had pickles on my Five Guys burger. Pickles are good on... Disgusting. I'm not a fan of pickles by themselves because like, especially a big pickle because it's like too,

like, you know, like crunchy, but then it's like... But I do like gherkins, like the tiny little ones that are like this big with like the bombs all over them

that they give you like... Are they crunchy or something? And they're kind of sweet and they give them to you with like charcuterie boards. So good. Ever had boiled peanuts, Justin? What?

Boiled peanuts? Yeah. Is that a thing? Yeah. Have we had this conversation with you before? Or is it just... I feel like we asked this to a lot of guests. I have no clue what a boiled peanut is. Dude, we should get a box of... You just boil peanuts. And then you eat it?

In salt water. Yeah, and it's delicious. They're fucking delicious. Did you guys also put peanuts in your Coke? No, my dad did that. His dad did that. My dad was like, son, we're on road trip. I've never tried it.

And he's like, did you ever try it? Yeah. What did you think? It's fucking stupid. He's like, son, you gotta try this. And I'm actually pretty sure i had a coke and he had some peanuts and like he didn't even ask me he just like took a handful just dropped them in my coke and was like now try that i did this all the time as a kid and i was like i did it and it's

like this is like backwash but worse is it kind of like a he gets a little treat sometimes when he's drinking well i was like why would you do this he's like it's like a snack and a drink i'm like or you could just eat peanuts while you drink coke and also like why do those go those don't like coke and peanuts it's not really a god i'm so disappointed in you boy well i'm gonna go shoot some squirrels to get my anger he also uh i remember one time was like hyping it up to me like son when i was a kid oh such a treat my my grandma would give molasses you gotta try molasses and he like made me a piece of like burnt toast and he put some molasses on it and like the way molasses you gotta try molasses and he like made me a piece of like burnt toast and he put some molasses on it and like the way molasses looks i was expecting like something

really sweet like a like a fatherly figure like fuck that shit up completely burnt it plays right into like the 90s stereotype of like a family guy i knew i knew someone that used to pronounce it that way from high school when he died he said South Park and Family Guy but then he died a couple years after high school that sucks shouldn't have pronounced it that way but basically my dad got like the heel end of the bread and then like burnt it

and gave it to me probably wasn't the heel but I remember it being that bad just making your dad sound like the worst fucking cook ever well he is dude but when my mom would go to like book club or probably just out cheating uh my dad would make dinner and he would make uh kale because he got into this like health craze with kale and he would like boil kale and it would be like you know i like kale but i'm not like crazy about kale like by itself like just, like as eating kind of like just a salad. It's all right.

It's not my favorite, but he puts so much salt on it. I'd be like, but the molasses, he puts the molasses on. He's like, try this, son. Like his eyes were glowing a little bit. Do you have that though? Do you have like a question to all here? The nights at the Oval Table, do you have like a childhood food that like you could just – that's what I want. Like it's like it would be your go-to comfort food if you had it.

Yes. What is that? It was – so it was two things that I'd have in the same meal. My mom would make it. my mom would make it it was like this microwave it was I think it was

creamed spinach but it was like a microwave one it was like frozen you microwave it really good and then also baked apples

which we also microwave where it's just like these like little apple slices that are really soft like apple pie type like covered in like this like sweet glaze

and oh now I want to call my mom and give her a kiss but molasses taste like shit it's disgusting honestly anything my mom and give her a kiss. But molasses tastes like shit. It's disgusting. Honestly, anything my mom makes,

I really like. What about love? I love my mom. I just didn't want to give it any credit. Any credit? Yeah. Don't good jokes deserve credit, Justin? Justin, we're always talking on the podcast about how funny you are.

We always credit your jokes, man. I make one joke and you don't fucking like it and shoot me down? Why you give me that face? Deal with it, bro. How would you react if when he said that, like out of thin air, like those sunglasses come down? Some fucking meme music plays. Who the fuck just texted me? Oh, it was something from Reddit.

We're getting Larry King'd right now. Larry King? What does that mean? It was something from... Oh, Larry King. When Larry King answered his phone and had a full conversation on Dave Rubin's show. Yeah. Now he's fucking dead, man. Dave Rubin, do you know who that is? Yeah, I know Dave Rubin. Okay. Who is it? Dave Rubin's like a... I don't like Dave Rubin's show. Yeah. Now he's fucking dead, man. Dave Rubin, do you know who that is?

Yeah, I know Dave Rubin. Okay. Who is it? Dave Rubin's like a, kind of like a, he's a self-described libertarian, right? He speaks for the common man. He's like, he's like,

he's one of those. He's a political commentator. Yeah. Who's gay on the right. He's not homosexual, he's like, he's one of those. He's a political commentator. Yeah. Who's gay on the right. He's not homosexual, he's just gay. But he doesn't make it his thing like Milo Yiannopoulos did, you know? I don't even know who that is. He's not like, I'm not.

You don't know who Milo is? I don't know who Milo is. Do you not keep up with far right commentators? No, I don't, actually. Just a bunch of white dudes screaming about Milo Yiannopoulos. You'll recognize Steven Crowder. Yeah, because you talk about him all the time. Ben Shapiro?

Ryan talks about Steven Crowder and Ben Shapiro so much. He's always talking about Crowder. That is true. Because I... Well, you have their posters. Yeah. Well, I'm a part of the Mug Club, actually. What's that?

The Mug Club? You don't know what the Mug Club is? Justin, we got you a membership as part of it. It's one of the benefits of working. You get health insurance and you get a Mug Club membership. Mine must have gotten lost in the mail. We'll have it reset. Well, something came in the mail today.

Mug Club membership. I also have the Daily Wire subscription where I get my leftist tears coffee mug. They love mugs, man. Yeah. I love having all my mugs. Dude, can we make one that's like that, but it's like leftist cum? Like leftist semen and then sell that one? No.

No? Okay, well, fine. Damn, everyone's just shooting you down today. Pitch me something else. Got any good ideas? I got some great ideas. Okay, pitch me these ideas, any good ideas? I got some great ideas pitch me these ideas funny man don't mind me

I'll be playing with the rings the multiple million dollar rings on my finger don't get distracted I won't it's like shining in my eye Justin told me a magnifying glass and like so it's a family of asparagus and they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells.

What's it a reference to? What? I know. Miles Finch. What? From Elf, right? You know that, Justin? They're going like when they're having the pitch mini with Miles Finch, the little man, and they're like.

I mean. I fucking love Elf. Peter Dinklage, you mean? Yeah. My mom just texted me and sent me a. Nudes? Khalid. What's his name?

Khalid? Khalid. Khalid? The artist? The music? DJ Khalid? Yeah. Or little Khalid? Little Khalid?

Yeah. She sends me this dude's music. She thinks I like him or something but like every time I see him come up it just reminds me when I was on Ellen cause that was the song

oh yeah that was the song the song from when you guys were on Ellen and it's like can we just talk can we just talk songs that you've never

that's a nightmare song to me it is too I hate that these pop songs spiked my anxiety just some stranger. Fuck Ellen. Fuck Ellen. I fucking hate Ellen.

Dumb motherfucker. What do you think of Dory though? Stupid. Fuck Dory. What? Fuck Ellen. I think Dory's fine in the original. Finding Dory is not that great. Fuck you. Your show fucking sucks. Your show fucking sucks. You're not going to get any of your audience members to awkwardly fucking dance on stage anymore.

They're just having a party. Fuck Ellen. The only time I want to see Ellen is if she's scissoring some hot chick. Apparently lesbians don't even scissor. What? Yeah. It kind of shattered my whole world when I found that out. Because it would hurt, wouldn't it? Don't ruin this.

Well, Justin, it's not what you think where they have a pair of scissors and stick it in their vagina. I got in world when I found that out. Nope. Because it would hurt, wouldn't it? Don't ruin this. Well, Justin, it's not what you think where they have a pair of scissors and stick them in their vagina. I got in trouble when I was in like seventh grade because I looked up scissoring on the computer and then didn't clear the history.

My mom was like, Matthew. It's when you put two pieces. It's a thing you do in school. It's like taking two pieces of lunch meat and slapping them together. It's like, mom,

like I think it was so dumb getting, like, grounded or in trouble for, like, looking up. Like, I get why, like, it's like, that's bad. My dad saved me that one time. My dad did the opposite. Threw me under the bus. But it's like, you're like a seventh grade boy. Of course you're going to want to look that stuff up. Yeah.

It's human nature. I mean, I can't continue to use my teddy bears exactly jesus well it's great cut one open get like some raw steak yeah put inside and when you fuck it it feels like a woman's pussy or a man's butthole or a woman's butthole whatever whatever you or a man's bleeding anus what the fuck i'm a bleeding it's a raw steak i'm a bleeding anus you're getting a little blood on there. A little muscle juice, yeah. You know the term bleeding heart liberal?

Yeah. More like bleeding anus liberal. Do you remember that story you told when we played Sonic where you shoved the sharpie marker up your ass? Yeah. I always told that story many times and I have done the same. What about it? Come on. Justin, you said you've never put anything up your ass.

No, I haven't. Ever? Never. Never. That's crazy. Justin, I don't believe that. I'm telling the truth. Justin, never put anything up your ass. No, I haven't. Ever? Never. Never. That's crazy. Justin, I don't believe that. I'm telling you, Justin, everyone's stuck something up their ass. I, honest to God, don't think I've ever stuck something up my ass.

Not even your own little finger to dig some poop out? Well, that doesn't count. Not even Wally shitting, just sitting like. I don't think it's stuck. I gotta, you know. You know what you've shoved up your ass? What? My dreams.

What the fuck did I do? You not have any nostalgic recollections of yourself shoving anything up your ass. Justin, I put a Nintendo DS styler down my urethra. Oh, fuck. I hate that you did that. Why are you judging me? Because it makes me cringe. No, it hurt really bad.

I've told this story many times. Did you actually do that? I forgot that I ever told that story, and then I regretted telling that because I see memes about it. But basically, when I was younger, Stop. Nintendo DS stylus.

But you have to lube stuff to stick it in your dick. Also, I didn't stick it down my dick. I put it maybe like that. Still. Like a fourth of a centimeter just i was like i was like what does this feel like and it hurt really bad you don't stick shit down there man not even soap well somebody listening right now ryan likes sounding the fact that it's called sounding upsets me why is it called sounding because you make a sound when

you go because you go ah because then you blow into it. It's like, you know, there's a like, like an empty wine glass. Fucking Don always sends me sounding stuff.

Does he really? Yeah. That makes so much sense. Where's the sounding art, Don? Don loves it.

Would you guys all he talks about on discord on Patreon? What we should do is we should have Don draw like some actual sexual art

of our characters and it's like official Rule 34. And you have to go to our Patreon to see it. I want him to just draw both of us sounding. And then put that on Patreon. He's probably done it already. Probably in his free time. Have you ever seen the porn Don draws?

It's great. It's really good. That boy has an imagination. I've never seen Don's porn. Really? Never. He's really good. Yeah.

But it's like, it's so... He he's really good yeah but it's like it's so he's a talented man it's so like visual it's so like like you could tell like this is visceral this is a horny man like he like like down to like detail like the like just specifically what's going on it's just like this is exactly what don wants and And what Don wants, Don gets. Where do you find Don's porn? On his Patreon. Yeah, we're subscribed to his Patreon to support him. But then I go and it's just like a naked anime girl with her big pussy.

My sister's call. Big pussy. Should I answer this call for my sister? Yeah. Put this one in the compilation. No, I won't. No. Hey, Sam.

Hey, what are you doing? Nothing. Working or at home? Nope. You at home or what are you doing? Nah. Where are you? Are you a cop? What are you? Are you a cop?

What are you? What's the, what's the, what's going on with you? Why are you acting like this? What's up with you right now? What? Why are you being like this? What's going on sam you can't talk about that on my podcast i'm recording it's your podcast yeah matt no our podcast. Hmm. That's rude.

I'm slipping the tongue, eh? There goes my ego again. What was your Adderall suggestion? You should take it like 30 minutes to an hour before you want to wake up. Before you drink a glass of wine at night before bed. 11 p.m., down it with a glass of wine. Because it works for the next day. Yeah, that that mom told me that she's like your sister said that what you should do is take it 30 minutes before you wake up so then you won't have a hard time waking up that's a terrible impression of

mom but tell her to do a better one do a better one i i feel like i probably already sound like her no but you look like her kind of true but no really it is life changing I don't know why I waited so long you like set your alarm for an hour before you want to wake up and then you just take it and go back to sleep and then you wake up naturally with Adderall I might be the only person

who's ever been able to take an Adderall and then take a nap I did that when we were in New York. I did that too, but it does help. Okay. No, you should try it. Well, thank you for the drug suggestion. If you play this, anyone else out there on Adderall should do it too because it helps.

Are you trying to get my viewers into using amphetamines? No, you actually really shouldn't take it because I can't function without it. Druggie. You fucking junkie. No, yeah, no. Adderall is horrible for you. It's so bad for your heart. It's going to make your heart explode.

I have a legal prescription. I do too. I'm not illegally taking Adderall, but I only take it when I really need to do work. I take it every day. Say what you need to say. Sam, you're going to have a heart attack. Justin, you take like two or three a day, right?

Four. Oh, okay. All right, baby. Well, I'll talk to you later. Oh, Matt, one more thing. What? That one time we talked about it, but you never answered. Is that you really should consider playing Papers, Please.

Oh. You see, you're just trying to appeal to the fans. You're trying to become a fan favorite. That's why. Oh, you guys should say yes, yes, yes, Daddy likes more, and play Papers, Please. We do want to play Papers, Please again, and we are. I don't know those references, so that was a weird thing to say.

Ooh. That game is super fun. i've been playing it again on my ipad i know i love papers please it's for ipad yeah that's the only way i've ever played it also oh i'm playing hypnotica right now that's a fun game i couldn't do it i finally got it i couldn't do the fun game too scared justin is on the podcast and right now he's making like a talking too much just i know that's how you think of women that they just talk too much but I was I was making it for you not your sister well don't you think she feels left out now no I mean I don't I don't mind hearing her talk and talk to Justin hello wait wait wait real fast one more update can you please

update uh everyone for the wedding video? Yeah, sure. Oh, what's the update? See ya. What's the update for the wedding video? It's done. Is it? And I gave it to her. Yeah?

And we watched it. Legit. Is it an end to an era? It is. I didn't announce it yet because I didn't know how to, but I did the wedding video. Can you post it on Patreon? Well, okay, so... Can you make a funny edit and post it on Patreon?

So there's a full highlight reel. And then, so, I mean, there's like a full wedding video, which I'm not putting that on Patreon. No, of course not. But then there is a, like a highlight reel that's like three minutes long. And I should, when i go home today maybe i'll edit that add some fart sound yeah you know give them give them what the patrons love i think i think honestly ryan if we want to become rich just be like sam's wedding video on patreon now i'm gonna upload two monkeys fucking

yeah but that's i did the wedding video. Oh. I gave it to her for her birthday, for her 30th birthday. It's like, remember that thing I was supposed to just give you five years ago? Well, now I've saved it so it's a birthday present. That's a good idea of like five year anniversary gift. Well, their five year anniversary actually already passed. Oh. But, just by a little bit though.

She cried when she watched it. Because she finally got it. Well, because it was so bad. And she's like, I remember when I married was this good. Can you unedit it? Justin, we need you to go unedit some videos. Okay. What you need?

Everything. Justin, would you mind going through our channel and making a highlight reel of everything? Yeah, I would mind, actually. A second from each video. The best second of each video. Oh, a second from each? Could you imagine having to download every single one? A second from each. One by one on the YouTube to MP4 websites?

Yeah, just one by one. I used to have to do that for a whole month's worth of videos all the time. That's right. And I couldn't cut out sections of it. So I would have to just one by one download the whole thing and it would take hours and like i'd have to like drive places try to bum wi-fi sometimes oh yeah the days where you would go sit in parking lots and then i got i got pulled over by a a cop one time who lied and said that my license plate didn't match my car when it did you're selling. Yeah, he got a drug dog to search

my car because he just felt like fucking with me. Wait, really? Yeah. They can't do that unless there's probable cause and they have to ask you to. Well, Justin had drugs in his trunk. Oh, yeah. He was dealing drugs. He had the bumper sticker that says, I am a drug dealer. He ran my license plate and he was like, hey, for some

reason your license plate doesn't match your car. I'm going to search. I'm going to have my drug dog go around your car real quick. And he fucking did it. And then. Was this in the Bentley? It was in the Lambo. Oh, shit. So, yeah, that's the Aventador?

No, the Mercy. Oh, not the Diablo? Fuck yeah. I sold the Diablo to fucking. What's his name? Terry Crews. Oh, I would have bought it, dude. Anyways, he had the dog go around my car.

And then on his radio, the dispatch lady was like, hey, I checked. She didn't sound, they don't talk like this actually. She was like, hey, I ran the plate. Like it matches the car. I don't really know what you're talking about. And then he turns his fucking radio down on his belt as she's talking and he's like well uh we searched your car so it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong uh you go to school around here and then i'm like he just wanted some conversation because his wife kicked him out he looked like so uh he had a fucking punisher skull

on his on his car and he had a big blue lives matter you know exactly what type of cop yeah are they allowed to have that on their cars? It's ironic that they have the Punisher on their car. I associate Punisher with police. Yeah, that's ironic because he doesn't fuck with the cops. No, he kills them. But a Punisher is like a cop killer. Yeah. But Punisher, like the Punisher sticker

like do you ever see anyone with a Punisher sticker that it's not also paired with like a Blue Lives Matter sticker? No, they go hand in hand. Or like I've seen the Punisher Blue Lives Matter combo. Cause people think that it means like they think the Punisher's on their side. They imagine themselves as

Frank Castle in like a shooting scenario. Beating the shit out of innocent people. I'm the savior. I'm a hero. Well that's why they like it. Cause that's what cops do. They come from the blood of a long line of losers. I mean racist. Because that's what cops do. They come from the blood of a long line of losers. I mean, racist. I mean...

Cops. They all go hand in hand to me. There you go. There's their fucking politics again. Deal. Cops are just gay, guys. It does say that. What, you disagree?

Some cops are gay. Some of them are. I've read some articles. About gay cops? Yeah. Can you call this episode gay cops? No. Don't call it gay cops.

Why, Justin? Do you have something against gay cops? Silence is deafening. My lawyer has advised me not to say anything. My loyalty lies with gay cops. Me too. Well, the gay side of them, not the cop side of them. Oh, I love the gay side.

I mean, I still don't like I don't like when I'm in bed with one of them, I'll say, listen, like, I really don't like respect what you do for a living. And I don't like it. But you as a person are beautiful and complex and your gay side is really beautiful and you know it's just kind of touching

to see such a duality in one man but anyways goodbye I don't think I can do this again i thought you were ending the podcast i was like no we saw bad reads a little soon justin do the ad reads no okay we'll do the ad yeah angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain.

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Well, those are some great ad reads. Good. You know, I had a dream last night, actually, that we were doing the podcast, doing the podcast and uh see i can't even escape it in my sleep pinch yourself are you dreaming just wake up in bed what would you do well it kind of sucks because i'm like well damn it it's like it's like doing work and then undoing work but basically i um i had a dream last night that we're doing the podcast and we're like dude we, we only have two ads. And we're like high five. We're all excited. That'd be great. One day we'll have no ads on the podcast.

Whoa. Also, even Joe Rogan has ads on his podcast. Everyone has ads on their podcast. Unless you're a poor little bitch, baby. But basically, we even Comptown has ads. But they just get like the shittiest gambling websites and like uh or blue chew i'm i wish we could have done more blue chew ads we only did one and then they didn't look at you yeah you know what that is uh yeah it's some kind of isn't it just is it viagra yeah blue chews in gum form

not gum in chewable form. Delicious. I thought about getting some. I'll take three. I thought about getting some just in case. What do you mean just in case? It doesn't matter how like. What are you preparing for? War. In the future, Bluetooth will be currency like bottle caps and fallout.

You know like in Saving Private Ryan like when they stormed the beach everyone popped Bluetooth before that. And that's why we won the war. Just imagine that scene but they all just have raging erections that you can just see through. Like through their pants. You can see like all their bellends through their wet pants.

That movie's so fucked up dude the first time i saw that movie my mom was gone one night uh probably cheating and my dad was like son let's watch a movie and you know he's like little pussy boy you're gonna grow up today and you're gonna see what what what the real world's like um so instead of watching fucking uh in Grouchland, like I wanted to, he puts on Saving Private Ryan. And I don't remember how old I was. I wasn't like super old. I hadn't seen movies like that before.

And I had no idea like- Old Steven Spielberg. Yeah, I didn't know how intense it was. He did direct Jaws. And I sit down and my dad turns the lights off and volume up. I'm like, oh man, I'm excited to watch a movie with my dad. And the fucking first scene happens, this beach.

And I was like, my dad's like, right after it ends, he's like, I'm gonna go grab a drink. And like pausing and goes downstairs and I'm sitting there in silence. And I literally was like shaking. I was like. I think it was actually one of the most like terrified, anxious experiences I've ever had watching. Was that like your first violent scene? Yeah, yeah. And that's a fucking graphic ass scene.

Yeah. Like the dude's face caved in from a bullet and people on fire. And the guy walking around picking his arm up off the ground. That happened to me with Saw IV. I saw Saw IV when I was like seven years old. What? Yeah. That's an awful movie to take seven-year-olds to.

I don't think I would like saw as a 25 year old. No. It wasn't my mom, if you get what I'm saying. Pastor. Huh? Pastor Rick. Oh, yeah, I cut that out. I know he doesn't want.

I specifically just. More like Pastor Prick. Well, in Justin's case, yes. For multiple reasons. I don't want to talk about Rick right now. Can we change the topic? We all have long hair now. I'm Pastor Rick.

We do all have long hair now. We all have long hair. It's the era of long hair. It is. And I'd like to say that Ryan pioneered it. Oh, wow. For sure. I was the first man with long hair.

Yes. You know, I decided to grow out my hair one day, and I went, no other man. Now everyone's doing it out here. The Beatles copied you. Everyone's doing it out here. Yep. I mean long hair's in right now. You know. Well it's funny cause like Fabio got the idea from me. I know

dude. His whole fucking appearance is based on you. So do all women. They looked at Ryan and they're like we should try that instead of shaving our heads. You're just a trendsetter. You are. You're a little trendsetter. Thank you. Thank you boys. It's hard work. I wake our heads. You're just a trendsetter. You are. You're a little trendsetter. Thank you. Thank you, boys. You're a little.

It's hard work. I wake up exhausted, you know. Building empires every day. Watching them fall. Well, hopefully not. I do like the long hair saga of Super Mega. Yeah. Because, you know, like the longest my hair ever was, was when I was in sixth or seventh grade. When it was like Anthony from Smosh is what I was basing my hair on.

Oh, back in the Matty B. Raps days? Yeah. And I'd walk with my head tilted sideways to keep my hair like that. When I would be wearing my skinny jeans and my Vans. And my button-up flannel shirt buttoned all the way to the top. Because it was that era so that's the thumbnail it's all three of us with extremely long hair

I don't think Justin calls the shots here disgustingly long hair I think it should be Justin sticking a sharpie up his ass in bed with a gay cop well we're watching in glee and we have long hair but Justin's shaved bald. I mean, or we could just do long hair, but, you know, this is your podcast. See, that was more creative.

See, long hair, Justin. Think of all the things, like the focal points in that image. People aren't going to just click just because it's us with long hair. They'll click if you're shoving a Sharpie up your ass. They're not going to click in general. I think that we actually should make that the thumbnail. Okay. You like that?

We'll get Don. Are you cool with that, Justin? No, but you're going to do it anyways, so it doesn't matter what I say. Exactly. Yep. Exactly. This is why we make the big bucks. High five.

High five, Justin. No. Okay, well, just for that, we're we're gonna also in the thumbnail Justin you're he's gonna be wearing a ball gag yep and you're gonna have instead of shoes on you're gonna have watermelon

on both your feet why? and a clown shoe on your head and the sharpie's gonna be like two feet long like a big ass sharpie and then there's gonna be a cop in bed wide too like just like a fucking tree trunk

yeah dude and next to the cop in bed is there's gonna be another gay cop and they're gonna be kissing cause Don's gonna draw this uncensored and then the thumbnail's just gonna get pixelated every time we tell Don to draw a thumbnail where it's like hey can you draw like ryan with no pants on but like censored he draws like a super hyper

realistic cock and then barely blurs it like and just blur like he just blurs like just the outline too so it's like don has drawn us naked oh yeah yeah but basically the uh the thing is it's like don when you zoom out on this first of all even blown up it's not censored enough but when you zoom out and it's a small thumbnail it just looks like he has his cock out I know because it's like if you just slightly pixelate it and make it like the pixelation

the exact shape of his cock hanging out it's like that's the point I've had to censor shit so much that Don sent us I'm like dude we can't make that the thumbnail tell him to send it uncensored so we'll do the censoring. We'll put it on Patreon. We'll put the uncensored one on Patreon. My sister texted me.

Jason's or Cheesecake Factory? Sorry, wrong person. Hmm. I'm thinking Cheesecake Factory. I'm thinking Cheesecake. What are you thinking? I've never been to Cheesecake Factory. I still want to go.

That's right. We got to take them. I'll go. The Buffalo Chicken Fillers. There's a Cheesecake Factory around here. I'll vlog it. No, wait. I'll vlog my first trip to Cheesecake Factory.

There's one in Glendale. I think there's one maybe in Burbank too. Yeah. No, Glendale has one. This is what the people want to see is the three of us going to Cheesecake Factory. I'm going to cut that out just because of future referencing. I don't know. We've already said we live here.

People know we live here. Just obnoxious. I mean, you can keep the Glendale in. Yeah. But, you know, one of my, I don't know why, but I think like my favorite moment in the entire Christmas Tree 4 video is when we're walking like in our hazmat suits, the Americana, and then we like stop and point up and it's just the Cheesecake Factory. I've never been to the Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory.

I haven't either. I want to go there. It sounds disgusting. I want to go to Spaghetti Factory. I've never been to the Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory. I haven't either. Sounds disgusting. I want to go to Spaghetti Factory. You want to go to the Spaghetti Factory, boys? Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory. Let's go to Spaghetti Factory tonight. Wait, is it Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory or The Spaghetti Factory? I think it's just, it's The Olde Spaghetti Factory.

I want to go to the Spaghetti Factory tonight. That's such an unappetizing name. They didn't have to put old. It's not like The Spaghetti Factory. It's like the old spaghetti old spaghetti you guys want some old spaghetti the old spaghetti yeah i worked at a spaghetti yeah it ain't that bad of a drive not even it's outside of la it's uh if you're going towards like monrovia yeah let's go to the fucking spaghetti factory because you pass it when you're driving to vegas we should go to the spin we should go take a nice little family road trip to the Spaghetti Factory.

Let's go to the Spaghetti Factory. We can vlog going to the Spaghetti Factory. I would love to do that. And get some spaghetti? Yes. Spaghetti. You know, like the little YouTube poops? Spaghetti.

Mama Luigi. I hope she made lots of spaghetti. Mama Luigi. We got to put a bunch of those sounds in the vlogs. I wonder what's for dinner. I already do that in all the videos I edit. Dude, let's just go to the spaghetti factory

and fill it with nothing but like 2009 memes my boy Justin will sit down and then like like troll face him and then like

make his mouth move and be like I wonder what's for dinner we'll order it they'll be like hi what can I get you and I'll be like can I have a hamburger

troll face they might actually have hamburger but I'll say can I has cheeseburger I'm taking over their menu look at their menu, actually. I want to see what they have. What if it's just a big cauldron of spaghetti and you just go up with your bare hands? That would be fine.

Can we get you something on the side? Yeah, I'll take the awesome sauce. We could reserve a table whenever we go. Our waiter. Tomorrow night? We went to. I can do it tomorrow night. I'll do it.

We went to Bubba Gump's yesterday. Without me? Yes. All'll do it. We went to Bubba Gump's yesterday and our wait. Yes. And our. All right, Justin, just for that, you're also going to be holding a fucking plate of spaghetti in the thumbnail. At this point, I already have a massive Sharpie in my ass. I have a clown shoe on my head.

Like anyways, our waiter said awesome sauce when we gave one of the plates and then Ryan refused to tip him. I'm just looking at the spaghetti. Does it look like good spaghetti? I've seen pictures and it looks like mom's spaghetti. Sicilian garlic cheese bread. At the old factory eating mom's spaghetti. How about I show up to this for the vlog?

I'll show up with vomit all over my face. What? Layers of noodles, marin marinara sauce ground beef and pork oh and four delicious cheeses lasagna i don't know if i don't know how i feel about like pork sausage i'd probably get oh yeah oh meat lovers treat sicilian meatballs italian sausage and dude we have to have the meat sauce the best fucking spaghetti feast ever we're gonna have a big spaghetti dinner I love the term spaghetti dinner like because for some like

people say what a church would like a church would have like a spaghetti dinner I went to I went to a few like church was it potlucks yeah whatever luncheon yeah luncheons and every single time there's always be some

mom that just brought spaghetti and that was the only thing i'd eat because everything else was disgusting right have you ever had baked spaghetti yeah i think baked alaska's baked spaghetti is delicious isn't baked alaska like a crazy an absolute piece of shit yes but it's also a food okay uh i i think that uh we call the video like like three grown men have a spaghetti dinner or like – Yep. Or just something about like having a spaghetti dinner. And then I think also what we should do once COVID is a little bit better is we should have an annual luncheon, super mega luncheon.

And it's like we just literally just go to a park and just tell everyone the address and everyone just brings food. And like bring like casserole and just bring a couple tables out and then just tell people to come show up to them to like the luncheon. What if we're not even there? Like we're just not even there. Just hire dudes that kind of look like us. Yeah. Just decked out in Super Mega Merch. Hey guys

it's me Ryan. We should do that next week. I just bring milk and cookies. Milk and cookies? That goes great with a spaghetti dinner. I'm so excited. Milk goes great with spaghetti. Do you guys dunk your meatballs in milk? I used to.

Don't tempt me. When I was a child and I would eat my Chef Boyardee spaghetti to signify that I was done to my mom, I would just dump my milk in it. Can we, no, for the Sumega luncheon, can we just prepare like pots and pots of Chef Boyardee? Dude, I used to eat the shit out of their ravioli, like little ravioli cups as a kid. I used to make, I don't like Chef Boyardee at all. SpaghettiOs?

SpaghettiOs are great. Chef Boyardee, no, no, no. SpaghettiOs with meatballs. Yes. When I was a kid, I used to make chocolate water. And I used to be like, why didn't anyone ever think of this? Oh, then it's just, then it's just, it's just it's just hot chocolate it's just it was just chocolate syrup mixed around some fucking purified water so just chocolate milk yeah chocolate water back to what yoohoo is yoohoo isn't made with milk it's it's a chocolate beverage yeah I've noticed so it's just that's crazy we need to have a yoohoo stream soon what else

what else oh I did. I would make sandwiches, but only have one piece of bread. And I called it turkey style. Oh, yeah. Y'all get that shit. Turkey style. Justin, for the luncheon next week, Justin can make a turkey style and just bring a bunch of sandwiches with no top bun. It's a good way to save bread.

Before Justin leaves, can we have the Super Mega Luncheon? Yeah. Legit. We're going to like you can we have the Super Mega luncheon? Yeah. Legit. You mean publicly go and open a luncheon? We go to a park like one with picnic tables and we put the show up for our luncheon from noon to lunch. I would love to do that too. And we bring a lot of Chef Boyardee and some

turkey style sandwiches. We'd be providing food to people. Yeah. We'd be like scooping it into their bowls. It's also BYOF would we would have to get a permit yeah you gotta get a permit to have a little get together little family get together but i feel like a lot of people show up you know it's like officer we're just having to get together you know but also if the cops show up it's even better if we want to film it super megas like keemstar talking about how our spaghetti luncheon

got shut down by the fucking fuzz. I say we have masks are required. Spaghetti luncheon. Should we call it a spaghetti luncheon? Supermegas first annual spaghetti luncheon. Why is it so fucking funny? We'll grill up some spaghetti. Supermegas spaghetti luncheon

we should just bring a grill and just like take cans of and just literally serve that and glasses of like milk no I want to make my fucking chocolate water I'll handle the drinks and I'll bring turkey style sandwiches I'm fully serious like

about this next week I think this will also make a great video turkey style bro the spaghetti luncheon sandwiches. I'm fully serious about this next week. I think this will also make a great video. Turkey style, bro. The spaghetti lunch. I'll bring the cigars. Smoking a cigar while having spaghetti and milk sounds so fucking disgusting. There'll be some people

smoking cigars with me if they're over the age of 21. And straight. Dude. Straight with cigars. I mean mean not like 20 21 21 like the meme

21 legit though are you guys like if we start playing say you're down to have a a luncheon next week yeah yeah

well we'll talk about it I want to talk about it what's there to talk about because there's an opening for just crazy motherfuckers to show up and we don't have security

like we do with shows to walk away excuse me everyone does public things like like grumps and everything i got i got it's i got our security right here okay yeah you see these guns yeah knife couldn't penetrate that shit we should test it is that sarcasm you want to try it justin you know you're not allowed to bring guns over stay bored go get it go get a knife i don don't want to bend all of our good... Those are expensive knives.

Folks, you heard it here first. My muscles are so big that they bend knives. Ryan, you know what we should do? We should just announce it like an hour in advance and where it is so people can't plan on it. We can just find a big park with picnic tables. I like the idea...

If this actually happens like we can have three or four people can we can we hire just on craigslist like a huge ripped bodyguard you could do that you could totally do that it's just like some big seven we have an entourage well i mean justin's almost i gotta help you know i gotta help fucking make the food i've been working out though for real like your muscles actually looking pretty good not really oh wow Justin that muscle whatever this is that's looking Justin look at us man

I got another trapezius sounds like some like Greek this is trapezius like Roman god he's the biggest triceps trapezius that's not what your trapezi biggest triceps trapezius that's not what your trapezius is dude trapezius is right here

is that an actual thing? yeah trapezius the trapezius were you just making that that's a real muscle yeah I just was saying some shit that sounded like that no yeah that's a muscle

that's this right here trapezius I don't know if that's actually what it is what Casey Frey does when he flexes and it's like up there it's trapezius

can I sing for you? trap I love him he's epic he's so funny he's epic spiritual lyrical miracle five motherfucking bars five seconds dude imagine pulling that that would not feel good what trap trapezius oh have you ever hurt your trap yeah hurts really bad you know have you guys ever uh you guys ever stepped on a lego yes yeah he steps on his dog all the time come on he beats the shit out of him actually yeah that's whatever though oh that's what happens when you put your dog down and then doesn't work and keeps coming back yeah say stay down next time but well i mean you have him tied up right now

yeah with the barbed wire yeah yeah so it doesn't move well you don't want them to escape no i love them too much what the fuck where did this come from look the tattoo looks like a cat uh looks like a poorly drawn tattoo oh it looks like a cat scratched me but it but it's three i haven't been around any animals except for your mother people she is coming people say that's like yes she is ghosted scratch you when that happens like that wasn't there last night but that's like i get that too oh yeah that's that's that's that's what i tell uh it's a wraith my girlfriend's like gin love that drink my girlfriend's like oh my why do you have

scratches all over your back and I'm like it was a ghost when really it's just because I've been cheating on her and having sex with other women that are scratching my back well can

I don't I don't understand why people get so pissed when dudes cheat it's just in our nature am I right it is in our nature and maybe

if the girls don't want to get cheated on maybe they should be a little more better for their game they should smile I'm not that's stupid I fucking hate people that say that shit hey mom you'd look so much prettier if you just smile more you know you you'd look a little prettier if you just smile i fucking hate my mom says that uh like men her age say that all the time still like to her like like men will say

to my mom like come on smile more you know you look real pretty with a smile on that face disgusting and like there it is like what i'm just trying to make your smile trying to make your day i know they don't day by putting you down and yeah they don't understand that they're like just objectifying like hey you are supposed to smile at all times for me yeah where's my hug hug? That entitlement. I feel like walking out of a place and all of a sudden some big old son of a bitch is like, hey buddy, you should smile more. I'd be scared. I'd be like, what the fuck? You should smile.

But really, he's actually just a dentist and trying to promote dental hygiene. He's like, you have a really good line. Can I take pictures? Please smile more. I want to ask a question. Out of these three microphones, which ones have you farted on this one is that i'm using right now is by far the worst i don't know if i've ever farted in that mic this one actually has probably like what you've like pressed your asshole pretty much against this and farted this one maybe because i

have sat here sometimes and the odds of me farting in those boxes you've done it on all of them probably once i'd say it's a safe bet. Yeah. That's the one that I use every week, Justin, that you're using. So it's pretty clean. Besides maybe a little bit of spit, a little bit of blood when you cough. You know, it is what it is. I'm going to just stay a little further away from Noah.

Well, don't do that. You got to fist away from your mouth, as Joe Rogan says. Like that. Like this? Yeah, people love it when it's close to your mouth. See, I was going to do the same thing as you guys, but I'm not putting my lips that fucking close to your microphone. Come on, put your lips super close to the microphone. Welcome back to 93.1 Super Mega FM.

You're listening to the Super Mega Podcast. 93.1 is a station in LA. Is it? Well, 93.1 is a station everywhere, isn't it? Helicopter Shadow just went over. That was cool. I saw the shadow. Rafflecopter?

Dude, I'm gonna wear... Can you pass the Hennessy real quick? Should we all wear matching meme shirts to the Spaghetti Factory? Can we get Trollface shirts? Wait, no, we should all, we should each have like, I'll have Trollface. You can have Bad Luck Brian. And then Ryan can have spaghetti.

Yeah. Doesn't like spaghetti. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then Ryan can have, uh, Ryan can have the Goosebumps girl, but it's like Irma Gerd, Spagurder. Dude, I forgot about that meme. Irma Gerd. Irma G Gerd Spagurder. Dude, I forgot about that meme. Irma Gerd. Irma Gerd.

Spagurder. I'm in my mom's car. Get out of my car. If I get us some shirts made today, can we wear them to the dinner tomorrow? Which shirts? If I make us some meme shirts to wear to the spaghetti dinner.

Would you be able to get them in time? Yeah. How? I can make them myself. Okay. Go to Walmart and you get the transfer paper. Okay. I'll do it.

Yeah. Bad luck, Brian, is a good one where it's like, I like eats dinner, isn't spaghetti. I love that idea. And then Ryan, you can have the Irma Gerd Spagurter. And I'll Photoshop instead of Goosebumps books, just a big plate of spaghetti. Okay. And we can wear them to the spaghetti luncheon too. And then Justin, you can

have something with problem on it. So you can be like eating spaghetti. Problem? One does not simply eat too much spaghetti. Okay, wait. Fuck. Wait. I don't know if I want a troll face or if I want one does not simply.

One does not simply is like my favorite old school meme ever. One does not simply eat one plate of spaghetti. One does not simply eat spaghetti. But if you love... One does not simply not eat spaghetti. No, it's gotta be one does not simply eat

spaghetti because you gotta eat spaghetti. One does not simply eat spaghetti because like you gotta eat spaghetti you know but one does not simply eat spaghetti makes it sound like like you don't eat spaghetti no cause you can't eat spaghetti simply it puts it on a higher plane so one does not simply you can't eat this simple like a fucking burger there's like an art to it

there's an art when you spin that fork yeah dude I just thought of something so cool we can probably get made your mom naked on a poster I don't need to get that made i got it at home already gotcha bitch makes two of us bitch bitch imagine you're a bitch bitch imagine a spaghetti fork a super mega sorry I don't speak. Bitch. A spaghetti fork. That's a... Don't.

Zip it. A spaghetti fork that... It's like a... Bitch. You know what? Add something else to the thumbnail for that. Mustache. You have a mustache.

Whatever you say. I already have a mustache. Oh, you call that thing a mustache, Justin? Yeah. I thought you just had a little bit of shit over your mouth from eating some ass. That's more than what you got, bro. Dude. Ding, ding! Come on, man. You can't fucking come at me like that.

Matt's mouth is agape. Matt doesn't know what to do. Oh, he closed it just now. Chomped it shut. Swallowed a fly. He tried to talk over the commentator. Yeah. Don't do that. But a spaghetti fork that it's like, it's like a scene on TV type thing where the fork

is like, this is like a mechanical fork. You press a button and it goes. You click it and it just spins. Yeah, the robo fork. I've seen something like that before. I swear to God. I've seen a Parkinson's fork that like is a stabilizer. So the guy's like. Oh, that's fucking like, then it's like stabilizing the fork.

That's sick. He's eating soup with it. A gyroscope fork? Mm-hmm. Or it was a spoon. He's eating soup with it. You know? Dude, I'm actually like so excited for this spaghetti dinner.

Oh, yeah. For this spaghetti dinner. I am too. It's my night. I'm going to drown my noodles in meat sauce with Parmesan cheese. I like a little spaghetti with my sauce. This whole video was planned on a podcast. It was. So like when we came into this room, this was not spoken

about at all. Neither was the Super Mega Luncheon. The Super Mega Luncheon. That's right. First annual Super Mega Spaghetti Luncheon. But okay, if we're actually going to do that, for real, I really want to get a huge ripped motherfucker to play a bodyguard. He's not going to play a bodyguard. He's going to be a bodyguard. I know that's a thing that you can get. Can we get an open carry guy though so he has an ar

cop show up there's like a bunch of fucking like i've 20 year old kids eating spaghetti and a guy with an ar-15 i i fucking hate people to like go to walmart and they have their fucking pistol on their hip and they're just like a little too proud about it. It's almost like they're carrying a gun for protection. When you do that, it's like, yeah, I have a gun and I could shoot you. Yeah, I could shoot you. I think it's like

a pride masculinity thing. Don't test me. Hey, if you fuck with me, I can shoot you if I wanted. You know who brought a gun into a Walmart? The baby. Did he? And he shot someone in the face and killed them. When? A while back. I can shoot you if I wanted. You know who brought a gun into a Walmart? Who? DaBaby. Did he? And he shot someone in the face and killed them. When?

Years ago. It was self-defense. Jesus. But he did. Actually, the Walmart was right next to the Hooters we went to in North Carolina. And I wish we had gone to the same aisle. It wasn't the Walmart we went to. It wasn't. We went to a different Walmart.

We could have gone and vlogged in the same aisle when DaBaby killed him. So DaBaby has killed someone before. Multiple people, I'm assuming. Let's go. He's pretty hard. Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg has killed someone. He did kill someone one time.

Yep. I'm sure a lot of rappers have killed people. Slim Shady. Yeah. No, well, not Eminem. Slim Shady. On the open mic night, am I right? Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Because he killed him. Yeah, he did. With his words, with his facts and logic. I don't think Eminem's ever killed anybody. Of course not. What other rapper?

His hands are too small. The rappers that aren't like... Little Baby hasn't killed anyone. Little fucking bitch. Hasn't murdered an innocent person. I killed three people today just on the way over here. Well, we actually do need

to talk about that after the podcast because we've kind of been... Gotta go to driving school buddy well it also seemed a little bit intentional and also your lack of remorse is weird but it was a good hit and run

it was a good hit and run good style if they were in the Olympics they would have gotten like that would have been like probably some it's the old flick of the wrist you're on the side of the road you go whoop just real quick and I'm sure I didn't check but I'm sure they got up right afterwards

and were fine he said he killed three people he like killed them like oh yeah like I killed that like not like yeah no like I actually just fucking killed three people on the way over here like they're fucking dead you're gonna buff out those ad reads

Justin you're gonna buff out those ad reads? Justin, you're going to buff out those dents? Why would I? I'm just going to go hit more people. That's the electric Porsche, man. That's brand new. But why would I bother when I'm just going to hit more people? I'm just going to hit more people, so why bother buffing this shit out? It's just a waste of time.

It's just going to happen again. Plus, it adds character. It does. Do you like Logic? The rapper? Yeah. more people so why bother buffing this shit out because it's just a waste of time it's just gonna happen again logic that's a good point yeah that's actually plus it adds character it does do you like logic the rapper yeah no I like the program the software do I like logic yeah I don't even think I've ever listened to a full logic song I haven't either okay we're gonna listen to

logic right now we're gonna listen to his most popular song Bobby Tarantino I love his movies dude the uh fucking this weekend, my friend. We're going to take a break real quick so we can listen to Logic. We're not listening to a Logic track. No, turn it off. Turn it off now.

Turn it off now. We're going to get demonetized. Ryan, you're going to have to pitch that whole segment now. This is the aftermath it caused. Bickering. Yeah, that shit was ass, not going to lie. That shit fucking sucks. Well, Khalid was on it too.

Yeah, it fucking sucks. Well, you don't like your mom? No, I have nothing wrong with Khalid. I have nothing wrong with him. Khalid never did nothing to me. It was that stupid fucking bitch, Ellen. Justin, that sounded a little pointed towards women. It wasn't pointed towards women.

It was pointed at Ellen. Yeah. Because everyone hates Ellen. But not Dory, right? Are you saying Ellen's not a woman not dory ellen's a woman she's a she's just a horrible woman that mistreats her employees but dory is a fun little fish yeah dory's fine i like dory she never hurt nobody her fucking second movie sucks well it's no i guess her first movie the sequel to finding nemo's fucking garbage i haven't seen it but logic i love logic do you do you want

to listen to another one? No, no, no. I love the software Logic. It's what I make music with. And this weekend, my friend Caroline Loveglow came over, and we stayed up all night because she taught me. She was teaching me how to mix and produce. It's so much fun.

It's the most fun I've had in, like, years. Justin, I was going to teach you how to use Logic, and she taught me so much that now it's like... I don't have a fucking Apple computer, bro. What, do you live in the stone age? I got the laptop you guys bought for me three years ago that is falling apart that's a really nice laptop though

is it falling apart? I have exported so many videos on that fucking laptop I used to use it so much that like it doesn't hold a charge anymore with the battery oh yeah really? the cable like fucking sucks. Is it time for Justin's new laptop? I do need a new laptop, yes. We'll ask people to donate

money at the luncheon for Justin's new please donate money so I can afford a... I want to get a MacBook Pro. Because if you get a MacBook Pro, then I can teach you Logic. Logic is awesome. It's my favorite DAW. What's your favorite DAW, Ryan? Broody Loops.

Yeah? Amen. Good answer. Francisco Javier Contreras would be pleased. Yeah. Avicii uses Fruity Loops. Did you know that? Tyler uses Logic.

And Billie Eilish used Logic. Tyler? You mean Phineas? Phineas uses Logic, right. The guy from the Marketplace? Did you know that Phineas did Ray and Me? He produced Ray and Me, apparently. Ray and Me?

Is that how you pronounce her name? Hold up. Raytheon? That's the name of our album. Super Megalum's just Raytheon. Oh, yeah. He's a good producer. I had no idea.

But yeah, Logic, I've been making music, but the no idea but yeah Logic I've so like I've always I've been making music but like I the thing that's always stopped me from releasing is I don't know how to like mix and shit but Caroline Loveglow

fantastic artist she came over haven't heard of her well she's pretty small so in size? very small or are they like

8 feet tall 3'7 3'7? yeah but she's cool she taught me she's been teaching me how to mix and produce

and it's been really, really fun and I've been very hyped. So, this is good news for the Super Mega album. Is she going to produce it? No,

but she can help. She taught me like so many, like I got all these plugins and like I've been really learning how to like really mix the music and it's like, and I learned how to master through a really cool.

Yeah, I did, man. Gotcha. Yeah, I did. Put it there, man. Come here. There you go. Justin. I like doing like,

Justin, give me a high five, but like I don't make any effort to get closer, so I'm like six feet. I got my foot right here. Boom. Nice converse, brother. Thank you, brother.

Brand new. They look nice. Day before I came out here. I would have. These are my lag shoes. I would have bought those. That's got to be cubic zirconium. There's no way that's all diamond.

No, that's diamond. Gold plated, diamond encrusted, platinum soles. Good God. Guys. It's beautiful, too. You want to see some diamond? Oh. Woo.

Get you in the eyes. That ain't diamond. That's quartz I used to collect that in grade school I did quartz? just all rocks go to the rock store anytime you go to a rock store you get like a piece of fucking quartz

it's like a crystal diamond remember the rock stores that have the tumbled rocks so it's like the purple and green and blue the rocks that are really really smooth and shiny shiny because they put them through a tumbler. This is what the Chaos Emeralds would look like in real life. The Chaos Emeralds. My little kid brain would be like.

Sounds like a Reddit thing. If the Chaos Emeralds were real. I was always like. They had little toy Chaos Emerald things, but they didn't have weight to them. Dude, the Chaos Emeralds are so fucking sick. Because they're plastic. Did you guys know that I love Sonic? You do love Sonic.

Did you guys know that? Okay, Chris Chan. Have I ever mentioned? Don't say that fucking name when I'm talking about Sonic. Sorry. Yeah, it's Sonichu. It's a completely different animal. Yes.

Justin. So we want to play. While you're here, we're going to do the Dark Saga, right? Or the Dark... Maybe, I don't know. With Shadow, Rouge, and Dr. Eggman. Wait, is it possible to download a mod for that where we play as Sonichu? It might be.

Cool. It might be possible. We got to put more modded games on the channel. Moving forward with Let's Plays, I'd like to do more zany shit. Can we go into GTA roleplay servers? Yes. We got to do more. Remember that?

The only time we ever did anything like that was- But not like the huge dicks actually commit to the roleplay, but you know, cause a little mischief. Remember Red Dead when we did the Christmas one? Yep. That's one of my favorite videos because we were- Because online- We were hanging out with people.

Yeah. It was really- We were dragging people from horses and shit. We took that guy up to a cabin and killed him. Yeah. Like made him walk in the snow and like those guys were fun. And shot him in the back of the head. Well, he kept shooting.

That was a fun ass. That was. We got to do more online shit. I think we're nervous because we're like, what if it's not funny? But like, I think that we can do some really funny online role playing videos, especially Second Life. I would like to do some Second Life. Sea of Thieves.

Oh, yeah. It's fun. Just saying. We're going to get Foolish Kia on for that, then. Otherwise, she's going to scream about it. What the fuck? They don't call her Foolish Captain Kia for nothing. Mm-hmm. She's a Foolish Captain.

You didn't invite me on to play fucking Sea of Thieves. Don't invite me then, you motherfucking bitch. Yeah, put him up. Put him up. Put him up. Piece of shit. That's really good. Come on, guys.

I don't see why the Confederate flag's a problem. Imagine a pirate ship with a Confederate flag. That's Kelly's. She calls it the Dark Barnacle. You ruined it. She ruined it herself by calling it the Dark Barnacle. I just don't think the critical race theory should be taught in school. I think it should be mandatory.

Wow. Wow. Nice. You guys are doing my fucking voice on the podcast. Real mature. Man. Now everyone's going to think I'm a big fucking meme. Is that all I am to you is a fucking meme? Yes.

Yes. No. Yes. Nice fake out. She's like almost, it's like French but worse. French Canadian. That's even worse than regular French people. It's just so much racism in one small, tiny fucking person.

Exactly. There's so much anger. So much nationalism. She fucking loves that. The French people. Yeah, she fucking loves that part of Canada. She has a statue of French people in her house every French person in one statue

yes and it's just a very short person that's really ugly she with a huge bush of armpit hair and it's a woman too and you can actually smell the statue it smells so bad there's fucking like an air there's little fucking like air holes in the pits it releases an odor every hour it's like a cuckoo clock she buys american

flags like once a week she burns one every day of the week that's like the first thing she does in the morning that's fucked up oh say can you see they said that it was a form of protest in that case. To burn the flag? Yeah. It's a form of protest. It is legally a form of protest. Is it illegal to burn the flag? It used to be. It's legal, right? Now it is.

You guys want to go burn some American flags? We'll do a flag burning at the luncheon. Guys, we have a surprise event we should get a huge American flag for it though Justin accidentally puts it on upside down oops alright guys what are the odds for the luncheon we are flying a huge

confederate flag that's how people know it's super megas they're like ah there's other ones and we all have to wear sleeveless shirts and fisherman hats we could make a version of the super mega logo that is fused with the Confederate flag. I'm really excited for this. Okay.

So you're going to do the Confederate flag? No, not that. I'm not excited for the Confederate flag. Well, he would be excited. No one is dead. In protest of them tearing down all those statues, we should get to, we should make, get models made of the statues and put them up around the park. We should make a big statue of Markiplier and then just pull it down at the end of the day. Markiplier, my favorite Confederate monument.

Let's get an actual, like, fucking marble statue carved of him, like, with some stupid, like, fucking sword. It'd be like an Easter Island head. Dude, an Easter Island head of Mark? It kind of looks like that already because his face is so chiseled his in his neck his neck is so fucking huge his neck is massive dude it's like the shaft of a massive hard cock Mark going to the gym be like oh

it's neck day he just lays down puts a weight on his head yeah so uh you want to do what? Biceps and legs? Neck. Always neck. Only neck. Chugs a gallon of milk and starts...

It's like a... Hey, Mark, how you doing? Neck. It's like an enemy in Gears of War. Neck. Neck. Neck. And then he smashes.

You necking? How about neck wolfhard? And it's Nick Wolfhard, but his neck is just sucking dick. It's necking, isn't it? Necking is not sucking dick. I thought it was just kissing. It's making out. Yeah.

That's necking? Yeah. Necking is making out, yeah. Oh. Well, I wouldn't know much about that. Neck wouldn't. Head is some dick, you know? Yeah.

I'm getting some. Top. Some dome. Sloppy top. Head. Brain. head. Some dome. Some sloppy toppy. Head, brain, top. Come on, there's some more. Low job. BJ.

We don't say BJ enough. Dude, I got a BJ last night. That's like a middle school word. Dude, dude, imagine. HJs or BJs? Dude, I got an HJ and a BJ last night. HJ. Dude, Samantha gave me an HJ under the lunch table. That's my sister.

I know. Yeah, Samantha gave me an H-J under the lunch table. That's my sister. I know. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. She gives crazy H-Js. You would know. Dude, that's your sister. Yeah, of course I would know.

Well, you are from the South. Mm-hmm. I noticed something. I was watching some trash TV, and Southern people are just like abnormally more ugly. Jesus Christ. Other people. I think they're the most beautiful specimens on this planet, Matthew. Thank you, Ryan.

I'm just kidding. The Southern people aren't ugly. But I got some cousins. Did you just pull a prank to all Southern people? Yeah, I pranked them all. You went, you're ugly. Pranked you. Gotcha.

You're kind of ugly, though. No, there's some beautiful. My dad has always wanted me to marry like a southern belle he's like son one day you're gonna come back to south carolina you're gonna marry a christian southern girl i'm like no i'm not horseback rider horse face horse girl dude i would love to marry that video the other fuck uh last night yeah there's this video oh explain it Justin you want to just

get his live reaction yeah yeah yeah okay okay I'm not even going to tell him what it is anyways make sure the title's away

it has to do with horses go ahead and I've seen Mr. Hand so it's not you're going to do a live commentary on this you guys go ahead

and fill the void while I get it all set up fill the void with speech did you have a good weekend yeah how about you I had a great weekend we had. Did you have a good weekend? Yeah. How about you? I had a great weekend. We had a little bit of a long weekend. We took Friday off and Monday off.

Yep. Because we've just been working so hard. Yeah, we needed time to fan ourselves and to rest our feet. Well, we gotta prep up for the spaghetti luncheon. I'm actually excited for that. Me too. We should give away prizes. Dude, that's a great way to get rid of merch. We can sell merch there

oh true you know because we have so much extra or we can just give it away for free psych alright Matt go ahead and just

press play watch this don't tap the screen because I don't want you to see the title is it okay if it's yeah that's how it's supposed to be big ass phone

oh he's wild Yeah, that's how it's supposed to be. Big ass phone. Oh, he's wild. He's excited. Yeah, he is. What do you notice? He's got a huge erection. Yeah. Horse has a... Oh, he's horny.

You gotta commentate for the audience. Alright, it's a horse and he's bucking and he's got a big... What the fuck? Justin just came on screen and... Fucking put that in the fucking podcast, motherfucker. Just beep that. Okay, Justin just came on screen and... Another horse came in and kicked it in the face and knocked it out.

Oh, man, it didn't knocked it out. Oh, man. It didn't get knocked out. It killed it. What? Yes. You just showed me a video of a horse dying? Well, you ate one. It's dead.

It's dead and it shit itself. Give me that shit. Well, at least he died with a boner. Can you believe that shit? That's how strong. Also, apparently, Justin was telling me it's because the people had it tied yeah so i guess to just let him do his fucking thing yeah i i'm no horse breeding expert but when i saw this video on reddit a yeah uh there were just people in the comments who were like, horse my feeding tube? Yep.

It's good, right? Yeah. That was great. You're supposed to not have the leash on him so that he jumps up and he gets kicked in the chest, not in the head. So it was actually the people basically killed him. Wow. That's a powerful kick.

That's why whenever I see a horse kick someone in a video, I'm just like Jesus I'm really scared of things like bulls, horses he was so close to that pussy but he died, at least he died like ready I know he didn't know what the fuck happened he was just like I'm about to fuck I'm about to fuck

yeah they're just black he shit himself instantly you can hear himself emptying himself out remember when you were a kid it was like, oh, you're gonna poop yourself when you die. Some people do. Not everybody. What? I didn't. Some people poop themselves when they die.

Yeah. I think everyone poops themselves when they die. Remember that South Park episode with that? Not everyone, Justin. Some people are stronger than that. No, not everyone poops themselves when they die. Some people's buttholes are just stronger. So much tighter. the saddest people shit the loud you know because it's it's it's because you didn't shove a sharpie up your ass is you're not gonna shit yourself because we lose because we loosened our assholes up with with sharpies and pens and and styluses well i might shit out

my dick i got the tightest asshole this side of the Mississippi. Give me that pussy, boy. Give me that boy pussy. Let me see that pussy, boy. Give me that pussy, boy. Pussy boy. Got a tight little man pussy on you, don't you? Boy, give me that pussy.

Pussy boy. Let me get a pussy. I want that pussy, boy. Is that Mickey Mouse? Is that Mickey Mouse trying to get some pussy? I need some pussy. That's just Kelly. Yeah. I need some fucking pussy.

I need some pussy. Hey, why don't you bring a little pussy over here, pussy boy? Where the bitch is at? Oh, I need some pussy. She looking thicker than a bottle of oatmeal. Dude, I love that video. You should smile more. Justin, have you ever than a bowl of oatmeal. Dude, I love that video. You should smile more. Justin, have you ever seen that bowl of oatmeal video?

Bowl of oatmeal? It's like in court where like the rich kid was like, quote, girl, you thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. And then he goes, it's such a good video. Well, I mean, some people make oatmeal real thin and watery. I like it thick. Me too. Like, I like thick. I like it thick too, buddy. You know I like thick. I like it thick too, buddy.

You know, like, uh, fucking, you know what I really like? Oh, have you had, uh, cream of wheat? What? Cream of skeet? Cream of wheat? Dude, don't do this. Dude, I fucking love cream of skeet, bro. Cream of dream? How much could Dream Seamen be sold for? Like, a little vial of Dream's cream.

Of Dream's cream. Realistically, like, it'd probably, like, get up there into, like, little vial of dreams cream of dream like realistically like probably it'd probably like get up there into like hundreds of thousands of dollars and then wouldn't sell on ebay because like the person that bid would well also yeah because everyone that's so obsessed with him is is 12 years old so they don't have they don't got any fucking money price goes down because he's not fertile you want to hear something funny i heard this week I was like he's a fucking like horse that you're trying to get bred dude you know what Justin some men can't

reproduce and that's nothing to be ashamed of unless you're dreaming then it's funny I just thought it was funny how Ryan said it were you about to fucking rant about I was talking to somebody earlier oh that's interesting you talked to someone I was talking to somebody earlier. Oh, that's interesting.

You talked to someone? I was talking to this girl. Oh, no. Not like that. Matt knows girls, apparently. Allegedly. A bunch of them. Yeah, I'm sitting next to two of them.

Where is she from? Where is she from? She goes to another high school. Yeah. But I'm talking to this girl. And it was the first time we had met. Oh. Right? Did you kiss her? Nah. Did she kiss you? Yeah. But I'm talking to this girl and it was the first time we had met. Oh, right.

Did you kiss her? Nah. She kissed you? Yeah. What was her name? I actually don't know. What? It wasn't like a friend.

It was like just a girl that I was talking to that I just met. And but but but she knew about Super Mega, but only like as of recently. And groupie. And what she said was she was like, I didn't know who Super Mega was, but like I watched a lot of YouTube, but I never heard of you guys. And I said, thanks, bitch. And then what she told me, how she found out was this. She's like, I've been talking to a sugar daddy. And we're talking about Super Mega.

We're talking about YouTube. And he's like, asking me what YouTube channels I watch. And he's like, the sugar daddy goes, you ever watch Super Mega? And she's like, what's Super Mega. We're talking about YouTube. And he's like, talking about like, asking me what kind of, what YouTube channels I watch. And he's like, the sugar daddy goes, you ever watch Super Mega? And she's like, what's Super Mega?

And the sugar daddy goes, you don't know about Super Mega? There's sugar daddies that watch our shit? That's crazy. I just thought that was funny. I'd share that. Dude, I need me to go off it.

And sugar babies apparently watch our shit too. I need me a sugar mama. Justin, we can easily get, Justin would be so cute for a sugar mama. Justin, we can easily get... Justin would be so cute for a sugar mama. You know how many sugar mamas out there would just fucking eat you up? Like a little oatmeal raisin cookie.

Yeah, I need a sugar mama. And then she can buy me a Porsche. She can suffocate you with love in her bosom. Big old... But you need a big old sugar mama. Lots of sugar in that pot. And she got the big bosom. And you can just basically get in between it

and like sleep there. And you go, and you know what? She can't get pregnant because she's older. So you can, that's true. You can nut in that sugar pot.

She'll make you a whole Don't call it a sugar pot, dude. The sugar pot? It's the honey pot. I got some, I got some cream for your cookie jar, baby. Justin,

she might let you have a little cookie out of the cookie jar from the top of the fridge before dinner. Hey, sugar mamas, you know where to find me I ran away when I was a kid

I bet Jacksonville Justin do you think in one weekend we could get Justin laid with an elderly woman in Cleveland Ohio yeah would you do it for a video would I get laid for a vlog

with an elderly like how old okay not elderly but I would say at least 65 Would I get laid? For a vlog. With an elderly? Like how old? Okay, not elderly, but I would say at least 65. 65 to 75. Some women that age look fantastic. Pussy is pussy. Your mom? Pussy is pussy.

For a seven-year-old woman? Yeah, she does look pretty good for 75. She looks amazing. So how about that coronavirus? Dude, that shit sucks. Okay, this is a bit of a hot take. Low key, we're in a pandemic right now. This is a bit of a hot take, but this coronavirus shit is fucking stupid. Dude, it's like on God.

I know, I can't wait till lockdown's over because everyone's saying that we have to just stay inside for like two weeks. Two and a half weeks. I don't think it's going to last don't think it's gonna last till next year no no way honestly I think by summer we'll get it under control if we just stay inside for two weeks it's done the sun will kill the virus

if we all stay inside I've heard promising stuff with bleach too well didn't Mr. President say that you were supposed to drink something what was it hydro injected well that's not bleach that's hydroxychloroquine which all you gotta do

basically if you ever had tonic water just drink some tonic water covid's gone I know this guy from Mongolia who told me that they don't want you to know the cure for covid but it's hot water with lemon honey and then some ibuprofen and I was like okay that sounds

delicious yeah i did and i have i gotten covid yet nope yep sounds delicious i'm just glad we all decided as a business not to get vaccinated well we justin wanted to for some reason we said well you're fired if you get that i did it anyways and i'm still here so what yeah you signed a contract you got vaccinated there was no verbal contract you just asked me over the phone that still counts yeah as your employer verbal contract counting our lawyer they were all on the phone we're taking a transcript of the conversation no you are you were smoking weed on your patio i was smoking weed they were doing the work justin i was transcribing everything like one weren't on the call. No, you guys are trying to be all big, scary businessmen. Well, we're not the scary ones.

You are, because you have that fucking vaccine inside of you. How's it feel to have Bill Gates come inside of you, Justin? It's delicious. I can't get enough. I bet you got it twice you loved it so much. Oh, yeah. How'd you know? I actually got the shot like I bet you got it twice. You loved it so much. Oh, yeah. How'd you know? I actually got the shot like eight times.

Hey, Justin. How'd that cancer feel? Dude, that's fucked up that you make a joke about that. Anyways, I got the shot like eight times because I just wanted to be extra safe. So I got Pfizer, Moderna. So that's eight breaches of contract. Yeah. I got Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, Johnson & Johnson.

I got some other shit this dude behind the Walgreens gave me. He said it would take care of me. So I took like a booster. Three of those. Yeah. I don't know. Justin, this is really crossing the line. What do you mean?

Jackson. Well, Jackson, of course, didn't get back. Well, no one else did. Layton didn't. Jackson didn't. Don didn't. Because we forbade all of them from doing that. So the fact that you-

Kelly didn't in solidarity. Yeah. She doesn't work for us, but like, you know. She's a part of the movement at least. Kelly's part of the anti-vax movement. Could you imagine? Yeah. I don't have to imagine.

She's French, dude. The only vax- You're really going to put that in your fucking body you know what you know there's metals in there i i think that the uh french need a vaccine against arrogance earthquake oh no taking the table dude pranked you i've never felt earthquake but it's real this time this table is not sturdy enough for you to be doing that. I've never felt an earthquake, and I've been here so many fucking times. I haven't felt one in a bit. In a hot minute.

Uh, yeah, same. Last one I felt was the one that you and I called each other. We're like, dude, did you feel that? It's been over a year. I think so. Anytime people that are like, anytime I talk to anyone that's like, I guess middle-aged or something, like someone that my parents know or something, they're always like, oh yeah, California. Yeah, that

place is on fire right now. You sure you want to go out there? It is on fire. What the fuck are you talking about? Sometimes. But they're, well, yeah. But I mean more like, they act like it's fucking falling apart and it's hell out here. They act like it's Pompeii. Have you never been to fucking Los Angeles before? It's pretty fucking nice. First of all,

California is also fucking massive. it's almost the entire west coast so yeah yeah california i think we need republic of california california more like california left this paradise where they're making children transgender what did layton say the the plan it's the pandemic yeah the pandemic yep see biden would have you think that this all just happened. Oh, did you see he wore a tan suit in solidarity? Yeah, real funny.

Real funny. With Obama. You know, I heard that the vaccine makes you trans, and they're calling it the transdemic now. Well, good luck with that, Justin. Yeah, good luck with that, Justin. I guess he's got to move to California now. So, how about the weather? It's been nice.

It's been pretty hot, though. Yesterday felt really good. It's pretty hot, but it gets cool during the night. It's fucking nice out here, dude. This is like the best weather ever. It gets hot, but it's not humid. It's usually in an igloo. Give it like a month.

I don't know. North Dakota's not that bad. It's just cold. Very cold. It's is not that bad. Like, it's just cold. Very cold. I got to walk like five hours to go to Target. Well, is it just for some new slippers? No. Just to get out.

Just to see other people. Just to see other humans. I don't know. I mean, the walk here isn't that bad either. Justin has to use the Target Wi-Fi to download our videos and upload them. I used to have, I actually I can remember, I tried using Target Wi-Fi to download videos

for Best Ofs. I tried using McDonald's Wi-Fi. Subway Wi-Fi? Never Subway. Taco Bell Wi-Fi. Spaghetti Factory Wi-Fi. I would use Dollar Tree. They don't have fucking Wi-Fi there, bro. No, oh my god. I don't know if I've ever actually talked about the old days on the podcast. Bye.

No, I'm just kidding. When I would cruise around, I'd have to fucking find Wi-Fi to download the best of because my internet at home just didn't work. Was that bad? Yeah, it didn't work. Now it's better. Yeah. Your internet, it's a lot better now.

Yeah, so I can work from home normally now, but I used to have to just fucking drive all over the place. I would have to drive like an fucking drive all over the place. I would have to drive like an hour and a half away sometimes. Do you feel like you were in a movie where like it was like doot doot doot. It would get like a fourth away. Then you have to go somewhere else to get the bar to continue to go. That sucks, man. I didn't know that.

And like where did that happen at? Just I'm going to get put in jail sometimes on purpose. I almost got into a car accident one time because I was going to go download the footage for Kingdom Hearts. And I had to drive really far away to go get all that downloaded because I wanted to get it out quick because the game just came out. And it was snowing so fucking bad that I had to turn around and I felt so sad. I felt so sad.

That you couldn't watch Kingdom Hearts. No, I was just so sad. I was like, fuck, I'm not going to get it edited on time. We remember that, Justin. And then it ended up going out and everyone hated it. So I I was just so sad. I was like, fuck, I'm not gonna get it edited on time. We remember that, Justin. And then it ended up going out and everyone hated it. So, I'm glad I didn't. I could've potentially wrecked my car and

gone to the hospital. A lot of people actually liked it. A lot of losers hated it. Some people were upset we didn't take the story seriously. There is no fucking story. I'm gonna say it right now. There's no fucking story in Kingdom Hearts. That shit fucking sucks. If you enjoy it, have fun.

Sonic lore fucking sucks too. But don't act like people are fucking stupid for not wanting to watch the fucking lore. Well, also, it's like Ryan and I. Of Zandorf and Glocktadoo. Galeem. Killing Goofy and having sex with Mickey. We jump into Kingdom Hearts 3 as the first thing. You think we're going to understand?

I'm not sitting there watching a movie during a Let's Play. Also, we were high as fuck when we recorded that. When are we not? Look, I mean, you can... A couple stoners, brother. People can like what they want to like, for sure. I have no problem with that. That's one thing.

But, like, I just think, I don't know. When you get that angry about it, like, I don't know. Just chill. Yeah, just let people do what they... I don't know. That's my thing. Like like i don't know just chill just let yeah just let people do what i don't know that's my thing like some people get like like certain songs or this like they have to be like this yeah and like there's not made for you there's nothing wrong with criticizing things sometimes but like there's also a point where it's like twitter takes it too much where it's like yeah like matt doesn't like the 13th amendment but he doesn't go telling everybody. You don't like Ouch. What?

It's the only album in all of 2020 I listened to. Really? Yeah. Got you through the pandemic? Yeah. The plandemic. The plandemic. Or like the bandemic. Because music, band,

you know. Put Margie on repeat. Thanks, man. It's my favorite one I ever did. No, it's not. Except for the three new ones I haven't released yet. Those are the best, actually. Matt, why don't you come over? Come over.

I don't want to go to a fucking 8Glue, Justin. No. Justin's listened to it. Thank you, man. Of course I have. Thanks, that means a lot. I support the bro. Thank you, bro.

Yeah. I like your music, too. The Castaway shit was so when you sent me that before it came out I put it on my my sound system my living room and I put it on loop

while I cleaned and I listened to it probably no joke like 20 times in a row I just want to say I gotta in the new music video when you kissed

the fish tank was that in support for bestiality yes okay what happened to the goldfish I thought so I told my mom where'd the goldfish after? I thought so. I told my mom.

Where'd the goldfish go? He unfortunately passed away. On set? Did he actually? No, not on set. A couple days later. Who kept him? I did.

Oh. Was it the lights? Did you just freak the fuck out? No, it was a... Yeah, I named him Seymour. It was a... Before the shoot? Mm-hmm.

So Seymour is a credit in the shoot? Not listed. He's uncredited, but yes. I really like that fish. So I got him at a PetSmart from the big fucking dirty tank where they have 100 dead ones floating. So he's already at a disadvantage. And man, we were really good with him the whole shoot. I picked up the bull for that one shot.

He was trained very well. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had an animal safety. We had PETA on set. And then afterwards, we humanely stepped on him because we didn't need him anymore. No, but he passed away a couple days later. I was feeding him.

I cleaned his tank. I got new water. I got the purification stuff. And I was going to keep him. Put dish soap in the water so it would remain clean. Yeah. I wanted to keep it clean and, you know. Unfortunate. But then I got Michael Jackson shortly after and now I've had Michael Jackson for almost half a year and he is he's going strong he's beautiful man he's a

fucking god's color back well when I got him he was like white now he's like dark blue he used to have some red now he's completely dark I'm thinking about getting a fish or something I want to get a goldfish I want to get I would Japanese goldfish with the funny eyes. Oh, the big popped out ones? Yeah, the popped out eyes. Those are my favorite ones to catch in Animal Crossing. There's black ones. They're so goofy looking.

I'm restarting Animal Crossing today. I'm making a new save file. I'll keep my old one. Because you're like, I need to get reacquainted. I want to get reacquainted, but I also need that grind again.

I've never played it this time of year. So I'm starting it late summer, which means like all the fish and stuff are different from when I played it and got sick the first time. True.

True? I've always put the Japanese goldfish like in a tank in every Animal Crossing game I've ever played. Really? Anytime I would catch one, I'd be so excited. They're like my favorite fish ever. What are they called? They're the ones that are kind of like circular, right?

Is it just called the Japanese? That's what I've been. They're the ones that are like circular, kind of like fat. They have the big eyes. They have the big eyes. They have the big eyes. They have the big eyes. They're the ones that are kind of like circular, right? Is it just called the Japanese? That's what I've been. They're the ones that are like, right. Circular kind of like fat. They have the big eyes. The bulbous ones. Yeah, they have big eyes. Yeah.

My sister had a black one named Jet. Is that what your video essay is going to be about? What? Are you making a video essay? About? For our fishing video. Oh, yeah. The tier list?

You haven't gotten to the end? Oh, that's right. We haven't dropped a video in a week. Is it this big boy? It's not him. Japanese goldfish. I like these dudes. That one is funny looking.

I think it's called a Popeye goldfish. Oh, wow. I've been calling it the wrong thing the whole time. Popeye goldfish. So the Japanese... Oh, wow. I've been calling it the wrong thing the whole time. Popeye goldfish, right? Justin, you should get a betta fish. These dudes? Yeah, that's the one. Let me see.

I wonder why... Why do they call them Japanese goldfish then? No, because see, here's one. It's called a Japanese goldfish. That thing's creepy, but cool. This is the one I like. This dude? Yes.

Yeah. Dude. So it is a japanese goldfish betta fish are beautiful i think i think they're most commonly known as pop-eyed but they might they might be called the japanese goldfish get a koi a big ass fucking koi my dream if i get an alligator if i ever buy a house i would love to name it steve see gators are cool like but also it's crocodiles no there's two different ones I know I know gators are nicer

crocs are fucking crazy yeah you don't wanna and skaters will still fucking yeah chomp you especially if you tease them you guys ever seen the videos

of the dudes that have like gators out in ponds in Florida and they've trained them so that they can like the gators will like swim up and you can hug them

then there's the guy who takes his gators out or his one gator out on a leash and walks with him there's a man in japan who does that with a turtle or a tortoise gators are like i think the closest thing to dinosaurs that still exist technically it's birds but who's counting i think of something like yeah something that has just a primitive brain like birds or like a like a shark. I think birds are... Sharks have been around before trees. Did you know that? I remember you telling me that. Sharks exist before trees. Sharks are fucking ancient.

Birds are actually still considered dinosaurs technically. So we still live amongst dinosaurs. Technically, yeah. I guess some people debate that but in all the science... Because I was showing you eons. They always referred to birds as dinosaurs still

and they referred to old dinosaurs as like extinct dinosaurs. Remember we were like middle school or high school when that like revelation first came out that was like okay dinosaurs

had feathers. I think I was in I was in 10th grade or 9th grade. It was feathers but there's also like the one where it's I remember it was

being taught a lot more broadly that they were closer related to like chickens and shit. I mean it makes sense taught a lot more broadly that they were closer related to like chickens and shit. I mean it makes sense when you think about like look at a chicken. It's like. There's this one. We don't think of it because it has feathers. But like if a chicken were scaly you'd think it's just.

There's this one paleontologist dude that for like the last 15 years has been trying to like brain, like trying to unlock like ancient genes in chickens to like make it have a tail again and shit and, like, have it grow arms and stuff. These emus and, like, ostriches, those are, like, just raptors.

Yeah. Fuck ostriches. I don't fucking trust ostriches. I love them. They're eggs. I would love to eat an ostrich egg. I wonder what it tastes like. They're, like, just emus.

They're dinosaurs. They're dinosaurs, right? Or ostriches from Africa? Australia, maybe? I don't know emus are from Australia ostriches probably from, everything's from Africa they're in the Lion King so they must, yeah

ostriches are cool but they just freak me the fuck out you ever seen videos of people riding them? it's like the only bird you can fucking ride the jockeys that ride the ostriches ostriches I think are really fucking cool it's crazy. The diversity of birds is crazy. From penguin to dove to ostrich.

You guys ever seen terror birds before? Terror birds? Yeah, look it up. Have you ever seen Angry Birds? What's that? Have you seen Angry Birds 2? I haven't seen the second movie, but I liked the first one a lot. Wait, isn't that the movie with Smosh in it?

Mm-hmm. I fucking love Smosh, dude. Do you want to meet him? Mr. Smosh? I'd. I fucking love Smosh, dude. You want to meet him? Mr. Smosh? I'd like to meet Mr. Smosh. Do you want to meet Ian? Yeah. Would that be surreal for you?

Yes, the terror bird. Yes, that would actually be fucking crazy if I ever met Ian or Anthony from Smosh, because I worshipped them. We can invite Ian over right now. Say, hey, Ian, will you come? Ryan's little brother's in town. Are these the things from art? Please.

Well, I mean, they just... Yes, these are in art, right? They are, yeah. They fucking suck in town. Are these the things from art? Please. Well, I mean, they just... Yes, they are. These are in art, right? They are, yeah. They fucking suck in art. Little monsters. What, are you looking at a picture of your mother, Ryan? Stop, dude.

Mr. Smosh, you have a call on line four. Yes. Yes. Smosh is actually... Ian and Anthony were played by the same guy. They just doubled up. Little fun fact. That's a good conspiracy theory for like a video

I don't think I've ever hung out with Ian and not gotten like blackout drunk is he a heavy drinker yeah he's an alcoholic well they always say never meet your heroes I heard he was racist as fuck oh my god yes was he singing box man

he replaced some words in box man with some other words smosh follows me on twitter really yeah the smosh account you can go be on a let's get let's get just they answer your question that's not so did we before we knew you know what you know what i've always kept this a secret but i will mention it now finally officially since it was just brought up. Because I haven't even been thinking about it. I was on an episode of Lunchtime with Smosh. This is true.

It exists. There exists footage of Anthony from Smosh saying nothing but lag. Whoa! Now, I'm not going to say what episode. I'm not going to say what year. The fans will have to go try to find it. That's a lot of episodes. If anyone even listens this far, they might have already clicked off.

That is true. This is far into the podcast. Honestly, also. They might have already clicked off. So that lowers our chances. But if you can find it and send it to me, that'd be. Do you even remember what episode? I remember.

Of course you remember, dude. Hey, you know what's crazy? Actually, same. When I was in eighth grade and I was trying to do YouTube with my friend Fabian and we had a new channel called Mosh Pit of Films or something. Totally not inspired by Smosh. We were trying to do Smosh type videos and I commented on one of their videos when it came out and I was like, one of your best ones yet. And Smosh responded and said, thank you. And I freaked out.

I used to have dreams all the time where I was like meeting or hanging out with Smosh or Fred. Or Shane Dawson. I didn't want to say that one, but yeah. Why not? Hey, Shane Dawson. I met Shane Dawson. We've talked about that.

Yeah, there's a great picture of it too. You guys are... I'm never putting that anywhere. See, Justin. No. Please, why? Because everyone's just going to make fun of the way I look.

Straight up. Justin, no, they're not going to focus. People made fun of the way I look before I even had any clout online and they found that picture. But you're a kid in the picture. So, like, who cares? Justin, look at the shit that we post of ourselves when we're younger. Justin, I have a fucking 60, 70 YouTube videos of myself from, like, 2008 where I'm being a disgusting little greasy haired kid. And you grabbed your dad's penis.

I did grab my dad's penis. I'm trying to find lunchtime with Smosh here it is right here also Justin we mentioned you in the Q&A before we even knew you one of the very first super mega Q&A's back in 2016 we were like nothing but lag you guys never said my username you just read the question

no we said it because that's how people found it it said nothing but lag asks who would win in a fight Matt or Ryan you guys didn't say my name in it. Okay, okay. We're going to figure this out. What video is this? Which Q&A?

Super mega Q&A? I think the first one. And if it wasn't that one, we did it at another point before we knew who you were. This one? No, I'm watching it. Wait, are we synced up?

Hey, everybody. Oh, yeah? Does Matt own more than one shirt there it is 314 listen wait let's see told you no i skipped too far a little bit i'm telling you sweet peaceful dreams of and let's see which one of you would win you're right oh we showed your username okay because i was because i was wondering like how people knew you guys mentioned me on the podcast a lot back in the day i remember that and then i remember

there were there was a group of we still mention you i know oh my god just i'm here right now it looks so young and there was a uh god we look fucking young yep there was there was a... God, we look fucking young. Yep. There we are. There was a group of kids that were very mad at me because you guys would mention me so much. Why are they mad? Because jealous? Yeah, they're jealous of the attention. Anyways, are you guys ready to hear Anthony from Smosh say my name? Yes.

This will have to be cut out. This will have to be cut out, whoever edits this later. Wait, why don't you want people to know? Because I want them to find it. Oh, okay. As an Easter egg hunt. Yeah, I want it to be a surprise. Cut this later wait why don't you want people to know because i want them to find it oh i don't want as an easter egg hunt yeah i want this i want it to be a surprise but cut this out cut it out okay i'm editing we can't even just hear him say it hi ryan smooch here we go nothing for a day what would you miss the most and why the internet, obviously. By internet, you mean porn. Justin, we can't just keep that little clip in there? No. You don't want people to even hear it, but they won't even know what video it's from.

It has to be. I want it to be a surprise. Like, oh my God. Because it might discourage people from going to look for it if they hear the audio already. That won't, I promise. They will look for it. These kids are psychotic and obsessed and racist. Will it make the podcast

better? Yeah, you hear Anthony from Smosh say, nothing but lag. How about I bleep out a part of your username? So if they want to hear it. Nothing but if they want to hear the uncensored version, then they have to go find it themselves. Yes, okay. Wait, wait,

also what a, nothing but lag. Also, what about lag? Lag. Maybe lag should... I don't know. Also, do you guys want... Do you guys want... Do you guys want a downloadable version of the

podcast that has no ads on Patreon? People suggested, why don't you make a version of the podcast that doesn't have ad reads and put it on Patreon? And also, we're putting up a poll. Who wants this podcast to end? Justin, plug yourself with a Sharpie. Nothing but lag

on everything. No G. There's a G in lag, but there's no G in nothing. Nothing but lag on Twitter. Nothing but lag on Instagram. Nothing but lag on Instagram. Nothing but lag on YouTube. And Spotify. Justin on streaming services has some music. Yes, yes, yes.

Stream DTF. Are you going to? And Jinbae. Stream some straight up NBL. Are you going to make more music? Yes. I don't know what to make next. That's the struggle.

My last one fucking flopped, bro. Yeah, just look at board. Sorry. Bye. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects

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