supermegashow - EP 258 - SuperMega’s Fast Food Franchise

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

We introduce the newest SuperMega boy, talk about our own restaurant, and even listen to some of DONDA. Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to Upstart.com/SUPERMEGA. Find a vaccine at Vaccines.gov Get 20% off + free shipping by going to manscaped.com/SUPERMEGA Go to Miro.com/SUPERMEGA to start your free account  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Is that it? I like your socks, my man. Thanks, man. I bought these at a suit store in Charleston, South Carolina. Was it the one with your friend?

Mm-hmm. So you knew the guy. Yeah, my friend Tim. Him and his dad have a suit store. He was the kid that wore suits to school every day since 6th grade. That kid with the briefcase. When did those suits come in? They just came in yesterday. Have you tried them on?

Yeah, I tried some on last night. Did you post them to your story at all? They just came in yesterday. Have you tried them on? Yeah, I tried some on last night. I got them custom tailored. Did you post them to your story at all? No, I didn't. But I'm going out to a restaurant tonight, and it's like the perfect opportunity for me to wear one of my suits. So I'm going to have to fire up one of the old suits, hopefully spill my food all over myself.

What colors are these suits? Well, Ryan, I have one that's like a navy uh and it's very slim fitting like a navy orange yeah like a nice navy oh it's almost more like a navy red and then i have uh like a purple kind of like plaid one by a suit brand called psycho bunny it's real it's real nice and then i got a i got a i got a seer some seersucker pants and i got i got a couple of nice dress shirts that I'm going to try rocking. But these socks are, I like these socks a lot. You know, and my friend and his dad actually made their own cologne.

And they gave me a bottle for free. And I've been wearing it every day. It smells very nice. Have you been? Yeah. See, it's so subtle. It's so subtle, but so pleasant. They just put water in like a little bit.

Just water. This is the guy who bullied me so subtle, but so pleasant. They just put water in like a little foot. Just water. This is the guy who bullied me at school, pa. Okay. Put some piss water in there. Just like scoop up some toilet water into a fucking little thing. Like sell it to me for 75 bucks. You get the suit and it's just covered in piss. This is not Matthew.

This is high quality linens. See that? It's kind of damp. See? It stinks. That's it. Because it's so fresh. No, see, now, we won't tell you this, but really nice suits, they're like this.

The heat of the animal is still within the suit. It's so fast and fresh. And that smell you notice, that actually, that's fresh from the hide of the animal. Oh, and this cologne right here, yes. Women will be flocking, some boys, but you can bat them away if you please. Trust me, Matthew, you'll bat them away for sure, but

this is the best smelling cologne I think we've ever sold, and if you go ahead and spray a little bit, see? Oh yeah, that's nice. Trying to impress a sales person, so you just go along with everything they say. We were in Macy's the other day for a video, Ron and I.

And I went to the cologne section because for our video I wanted to smell really good. That Macy's had a pothole in it. Did you notice that? Inside the store? Inside the store. There was like a pothole. Like there was like tape

and like the tiling was up and it was just kind of like slightly underneath the floor no it's weird i didn't notice that orange tape outlining it that's awesome i know so maybe uh maybe your mom tripped when she was okay buddy you know put them up dude put them up put up those fucking suckers uh sucker you mean your mom the one that's sucking on me? Listen here, you limp-wristed nerd. Yeah, my wrist is so limp because I'm tired from holding myself up all night on top of your mom. My arms are shaky from holding, positioning myself above her for missionary-style sex.

Mom? She's not listening. She is. She listens to every episode still, unfortunately. Still. Still. So she knows I've put a sharpie in my butthole before. Well, my mom, when I talked about the first time I jerked off and I said that it was in my grandma's bathroom,

my mom, when I came home to visit last time, not last time, the time before that, I was over at that house and my mom was like, oh, well, you know, I heard what you did in that bathroom. And I was like, oh, great. So my mom knows exactly my first jerking off experience. And every time my mom uses that bathroom, I guarantee it crosses her mind. And this is what we sacrifice to entertain you all. Listening right now. We put images of myself masturbating in my mother's head just to make you guys laugh.

Okay? So you're welcome. Okay? You guys owe us one. A few. You guys owe us one. A few. You owe us a few. And the best way to pay us back is to go to our Patreon and give us five smackaroons a month.

Where you would get behind the scenes content. And extra stuff. You get extended cuts. Videos like our Hooters one, we released a second Hooters video that is just as long as the first with completely different footage that we didn't keep in the video.

So it's like a director's cut. But it's an alternate cut. Yeah, it's an alternate cut. We do a month of Q&A. We do super mini casts where you can listen to us talk and we'll talk directly to you guys on Patreon. And I think we're going to do a

Discord soon. Maybe even a Minecraft server. Who knows? But for just five smacks a month you can go support the boys and get access to the two years now of content that's already backlogged on there. So there's plenty to go through. Nice little community too.

If we build this community up enough we're actually thinking of adding another $1,000 tier where you'd get a robe and just some special super mega drinking water that will help you feel cleansed of your past woes and sins. of water. Yeah. And you write a check for $3,300 to us and then you sprinkle the holy drinking water onto it and it's going to bless the donation and you send it

in and your wildest dreams will come true. It's M-A-G-E-E. No capitalization on anything but the M. Not Mickey. No. Not M lowercase a capital G-E-E. That just looks weird. Yeah. Like Muggie.

Maggie, Ryan Maggie. As almost as if it were spelled M-U-H-G-E. M-U-G-G-E. Muggie. But don't spell it that way on the check. Yeah. Because then we won't be able to cash it. If I spelled, like if i gave you a check and

it's a legit check but i spelled your name wrong like would they they would probably they wouldn't let me cash it because it has to match your id i cash well i cash my check your form of identification i just use the the bank account app that i i just take a picture of the check and deposit my checks that way and it seems like there's not a lot of verification in it they're just like okay there you go so it's like like because i've kind of tested where i've like done really poor handwriting on my my checks to see if like it just looks like someone if someone stole a check and they just wanted to fucking right now i should try and i should write myself a check for a billion dollars and see and see if they bank goes, fuck, we gave them all our money. You become the richest man in the...

Well, not even close. I'll write myself a check for $100 billion. The richest man in the world? The bank accidentally clears it. There's a trillionaire. No, there's not. By 2030, we'll have the first trillionaire. There's no trillionaire.

There's not anyone even close to a trillionaire. The richest man, I think, is $200 billion. I actually typed in frillionaire. There's no trillionaires. There's not anyone even close to a trillionaire. The richest man, I think, is 200 billion. I actually typed in frillionaire. Hold up. How many trillionaires are there in the world? There's zero. There's no trillionaires. The world has 46.8 million millionaires.

Whoa. That's a lot of millionaires. Collectively owning 158.3 trillion. On top of this, are according to forbes 2,153 billionaires wow but how many trillionaires are there first what constitutes a child i hate this fucking what do you mean they have a trillion dollars and then it goes to in numerals it's one and then they write out a trillion this is so stupid they're like padding the article because because the answer is this.

There are zero trillionaires, but they're like, well, I got to write a whole fucking article. So one trillion is this many zeros. And it actually starts with a T instead of an M or a B. I think by 2030, we're supposed to have our first trillionaire, which actually, when you think about it, it's a little bit fucked. I don't know. Bezos only has like a tenth of what it would take. Right. I said those don't even close.

It's actually insane that like you know, people say billionaires shouldn't exist. Just wait until you find out about trillionaires. Zillionaires? There's like, honestly the fact though that someone can amass a trillion dollars is absolutely fucked. When I was young I wholeheartedly believed

like elementary school, I thought they were, like, zillionaires. Yeah, you're sitting next to one right now, right? I don't see Justin here. Justin's a negative zillionaire. I wonder what, what's the most debt anyone's ever been in? Do you think anyone's ever been a billionaire? I'm gonna look that up.

Like, you're, like, an anti-billionaire where you are, like, over a billion dollars in debt, so you're actually, you're a billionaire, but, like, a anti-billionaire where you are like over a billion dollars in debt. So you're actually, you're a billionaire, but like a mega billionaire. Okay, here we go. Japan, with its population of 125,185,332, has the highest national debt in the world at 234.18% of its GDP, followed by Greece, Japan's national debt currently sits at $1,028 trillion. What?

How did Japan— Oh, wait. $9 trillion USD. That was in yen. Yeah, but still $9 trillion. How did Japan amass that much debt? The thing about national debts is they're never going to get paid off. So it's like when people worry about the national debt, we're not ever actually paying off the national debt.

I might come through and pay it off for America if I'm feeling like it one day. Damn it, not Joanna. Japan. Joanna Biden? I'm trying to figure out these things japan's debt began to swell in the 1990s when its finance and real estate bubble burst to disastrous effect with stimulus packages and a rapidly aging population that pushes up health care and social security costs japan's debt first breached the 100 of gdp mark at the end of the 90s wow 100 of gdp that's

why so it was just like like, just a real estate bubble just fucking destroyed them. It's a good time to be a Japan in the 90s. Okay, so I found an article by The Atlantic. It's from 2012, mind you, but it's Jerome Curville is the answer that I keep seeing for the man with the most debt in the world.

$6.3 billion. So this guy's like a billionaire, but on the opposite side. He's like, yeah, instead of having $6.3 billion, I actually have negative $6.3 billion. How'd he get there? Let's see. Let me meet the most. Even just in the pictures of this guy. How does someone allow you to get into a billion dollars worth of debt

how does any bank or partner trust your money he knows he's like fucked up like his face looks dead he's like yeah I know exactly my position let's see uh he can earn million dollar gains without anybody knowing he can execute make believe trades by sending fake emails from hacked computers

but he doesn't always lose money but when he does he loses more than $6 billion. It's like the meme, the most interesting man in the world. I don't always lose money, but when I do, I lose $6 billion. Yeah, I'll be right back, buddy. Where are you going?

Ryan just left. Okay, well, I'll finish reading this. Oh, because he had fraudulent trades in 2007 and 2008, cost French bank Société Générale and how much he's been ordered to pay in restitution after he gets out of jail in three years. God damn, dude.

73 billion in unauthorized trades. Man, this man is a genius. Wow. That's pretty impressive, I will say. 73 billion dollars in fake trades but like how do they he's not going to be able to pay the 6 billion fine

what happened to Curveville is the financial equivalent of sentencing someone to life plus 100 years garnishing is usually what they do in cases like this there's the fine then there will be a structured settlement so I guess they just make him pay a certain amount every month until he dies dude Michael Jackson died 400 million dollars in debt.

I don't know why. Fruit? Yeah, of most fruit. I can eat some fruit. What fruit are you talking about, Leighton? I'm sorry, Leighton. I'm sorry. Leighton, do you want to come in here and...

He's having his... I can put it away. Are you eating a berry bowl and a side bowl? I'll sit here. You can sit in that chair if you want. Don't eat into the microphone, Layton, because that's right off the jump people are going to hate you. That Obey shirt is very reminiscent of a Braindead shirt.

I'm wearing a Braindead shirt. That's why this is the only Obey shirt that I have, and I just can't afford Braindead. Well, now you will be able to. With that $1,000 a month you're getting from SuperMega. $1,000? month you're getting from SuperMega. $1,000? We told him $800. Guess what?

He grabbed that and swing it your way. You want it to be about a fist away from your mouth. It's a Joe Rogan special rule. I always have to give him credit because I don't want people to think that that was information that I amassed on my own. You gave that information to Joe Rogan. Don't be so humble. Joe Rogan took that idea from you. Ladies and gentlemen,

getting off the topic of debt and into the topic of something fun, SuperMega officially has a brand new boy we've collected. His name is Leighton. And Leighton is officially the newest employee of Super Super Mega Productions Incorporated, a California company. Can you put some applause in there so it's a big sweltering moment? A little fanfare for Leighton.

Leighton, say hey. Hey. That's Leighton, everybody. Yeah. He is the guy that, yeah, Super Mega Mart was his idea. He's been helping us all year with merch. He's doing a great job. He's a very hard worker. And he's been helping around the office, so we were like,

hey, let's just bring this guy on full time to help facilitate Super Mega Productions Incorporated. I mean, you guys just clearly needed the help. That's true, yeah. You're some messy boys. Yeah, it's a messy office. Business is a mess. Showing up late some days.

Well, as the bosses of our own business, we're allowed to show up late. I mean, you need to be here at 7 a.m. We can show up at 4 p.m. When you mean 7 a.m., that's like chores have to be done and like

Yeah, that's why we hired you. Yeah, but like when you guys say 7 a.m you mean like working inside at my desk under the stairs like making design stuff like would you do you just mean like originally i have to be out there no like for instance the cereal bowl that i just finished is still in the sink and like that and that's gonna get fruit flies that's that might collect mold. And if there's any dairy left, which no one knew this, probably not. But if there is, it'll curdle and it will go bad and stink up the whole kitchen.

And then that's not working out for us if that happens. Yeah, but I'm just saying, to be clear, my work begins way before seven. And you all know that. Yeah, and we appreciate that. But that's just not on the... That's not what you're being... I know it's not on the books, but the way that it's put

and the fist that you put into it... You guys are pretty aggressive. Yeah. But how do you think we got to this point, Leighton? Leighton, you don't... Well, I don't know who SuperMega is. We have 900,000 subscribers on YouTube. Ever heard of us?

No. I'm going to start being that guy that has a big ego, and every time I meet somebody new, it's like... I have 900,000 viewers. Ever heard of SuperMega? Really? Well, guess what? It's like, hey, ever heard of SuperMega?

You're looking at him say that to your uh restaurant i love like like trying to brag to someone and then they say no i don't know you but then you like you you you're kind of forced to continue the like oh yeah well you're uh sitting next to him you have to brag about yourself yeah um do you guys go straight into it or do you just like lightly be like i've been on youtube for some years i go straight into it or do you just lightly be like, I've been on YouTube for some years. I go straight into it, man. I don't have time to waste, man. No time to fucking waste. I have a card that I flash him.

When I'm talking to these hoes, these hoes need to know that they're talking to Matt Watson, American YouTuber, comedian, musician. Songwriter. Sex offender. I'm working on getting that one wiped from the record. Should be expunged by the time this podcast is out, actually. I'm working on getting that one wiped from the record. It should be expunged by the time this podcast is out, actually. If Layton puts in enough work, hopefully, you've got all that stuff filed,

all that done, hopefully get that out of the system. Yeah, I mean, we've got way more. Jackson's unfortunately going to stay. Jackson has done a little too much where there's no way to get his. I mean, the good reason for being in California is that it's harder for people to find the office with all the red dots if you look at the red dot map. There's so many in the LA area. That's actually true. It's little to no

chance that they can figure out where the office is. If you go in Los Angeles and you look at the red dot map where sex offenders live, it's unbelievable how many there are. It's like back in South Carolina how do I find this? There'd be like one in my neighborhood and it'd be like, oh my God. Just Google sex offender.

How is this the first topic that I'm a part of on a podcast? You've listened to our podcast. You know exactly how this goes. But Layton's been a long time bud of ours. We became friends at the beginning of this year. We officially talked for the first time in December last year. Over a Zoom call. And Ryan and I said, who the fuck of this year. We officially talked for the first time in December last year. Over a Zoom call. And Ryan and I said, who the fuck is this guy?

And that's when he presented the idea for Super Megamart to us. And we were like, that's genius. That's genius, Layton. And now... It's making me click on chimneys. What? To verify something. Oh, I have to look up someone specific.

I just want to see the map. I just got a great text from a fellow specific. I just want to see the map. Yes. I just got a great text from a fellow YouTuber that I can't share on the podcast, so I'll bleep it out. But I just got a text from ******. It says, bro, know any drug dealers? That's good. I don't think there's a mile between any of these sex offenders. That's pretty exact.

No, I don't think there's a mile between any of these sex offenders. That's pretty exact. No, I don't think there's 10 feet between. So in my hometown, when we found out about that, my brother and I were like, oh, fuck. And so we like went on the list and there's these like apartment complexes down the street from, I lived in like a pretty bad place but like um but so like down the street this apartment complex had like there was like four of them in that built the same complex and then like nowhere else in the neighborhood and probably because like that was a place like i imagine if you're a sex offender uh because when you have to go like rent property or apply for a lease that's gonna come up so i imagine that there's only certain places that will accept i just wonder if they all know each other that's really what i'm getting at like i'm not hinting at anything else i just probably but like yeah

like they all like or if they just like see each other like they're locking their doors and they go outside and they look at each other and they're like i'm a sex offender too what about um yeah i'm a licensed sex offender got my license right here officer no officer look here's my license I uh yeah

licensed sex offender I'm on the FBI's website uh sex offender registry I'm trying to find uh okay megan's law

dot c-a-n-g-o-v yeah I'm like Megan's Law yeah I'm glad Layton's first appearance on the podcast is like we're just going through

sex offenders database let glad Layton's first appearance on the podcast is like, we're just going through sex offenders database. Let me, Layton. Search it, I'm loading. Oh, Layton, you're on here. Man. We probably should have done it. We hired him with no background check, no. Nothing.

Didn't call his past employers. You guys, like, had no idea that I've been getting all these designs sourced through, like, Fiverr. It's been, like, we're going on Alibaba and just doing like cheap designs no I just I take advantage of you know there's all the YouTube stands that come and they're like oh I would love

to do a design for people that you've designed for so I just go yeah here's this and then and then I block them. Taking advantage of fans is ultimately that's true that's going to come out on Reddit. We're going to have so many posts. This is my art, and they used it. Leighton, if you ever actually did a steel art,

now you've opened us up to some extreme. No. I mean, they're going to do it as a joke. Body language, Leighton. Oh, I know, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, like 100%. When Leighton said no, he like fluttered his eyes and looked down.

Body language, when someone's lying, they cannot, like, it's very easy to tell because they'll look to the side. He's now one of those people that watches six body language videos on YouTube that's suggested. And he thinks he's an expert. Hasn't been proven that like body language experts, it's like you can't really get, you can get like some good information from it. Well, psychopath, like if you know this body language stuff, then you know how to overwrite it. So if I know that looking is going to make me look like I'm lying, then when I'm telling a lie, I'm going to be like, I'm not going to look. You're going to look directly at someone in the eye.

Yeah. I'm going to be like, Leighton, I'm really glad we hired you. And just really overwrite that. Just like that. I'm really glad we hired Leighton. That's how it's going to be. Body language, man. See, I'm a body language expert when it comes that's how it's gonna be body language man see I'm a body language expert when it comes to women

happy you're a part of the team yeah I mean if anyone listening on the podcast like has any suggestions on cause I mean super mega we want purses we want nail polish I'm part of the FBI the female body inspectors

all these boys are wearing nail polish now. You notice that, dude? You notice that? All of these Minecraft streamers with their nail polish, their nail paint. Show me your nails. Show me your nails. I didn't paint my nails, dude. They're bright red.

Yeah. Come on, Ryan. Don't out me like that, man. And they're long. All right, Ryan. In this office, how do we check our nails? We don't check them like this. We check them like this.

I love that that's like a thing like throughout the South and Midwest. It's like if you check your nails like by. Yeah. What I'm doing is I'm holding my hand out as if I'm saying like stop to somebody. Like I'm checking it that way. And then the other way, it's just like you kind of like close your fist. You're like gorilla palm it. Right.

But this way, that's not okay. Not at all. Oh my God. Look at me right now. Look how I'm crossing my legs. Disgusting. Like a Nancy boy. Yeah, but I do feel like the gorilla palming way is, like, so much, like, easier.

Like, this, I'm just, like, straining my hand. Like, this is actually, like, it hurts. Well, that's because you're straight, Ryan. Well, is it because, like, I'm not, like, looking at how it looks? You know what I mean? I'm not looking at how, like, nail polish or... Well, I guess people want to see how the whole thing looks. Ryan's literally just describing why he's heterosexual.

Is that like that's why? That's the gays, that's just like a part of it. If I ever saw my son checking his nails this way... Ryan's like 100% convinced on this right now. That's a gene thing, right? Yeah, it is in the DNA.

You're already wrong there. It's not built in, It's built into the choice. It's when you sign up and say, I'm gay now. Yeah, then you just start doing that. How hard is it to become un-gay? Not at all. So, wait, you're gay. Yeah.

So, guys, we've hired a homosexual. So, stop trying to say we're homophobic because we've officially hired a homosexual man. I mean, well, that was like a part of the precursor. You guys are like, hey, does anybody know any like gay designers? Because like at this point we're about to get canceled. And then like. And Justin's Mandarin. You vetted through.

Yeah. So that helped with the diversity thing. But we needed, you know, unfortunately, all these straight, super straight white men. Like. all these straight, super straight white men. At this point, it's starting to look like a more like white nationalist kind of thing. We do not. We don't look like white nationalists. Well, Matt may, but I don't.

Yes, I might with the blue eyes and blonde hair and just the... I don't think they... I mean, I also have blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm not saying that like in a... Yeah, I don't think they... I mean, I also have... I'm not saying that like in a... Yeah, I don't think they'd wear what you wear. They wouldn't, I don't think. Yeah, white nationalists aren't very stylish. That's the problem, man. It's like these neo-Nazis, it's like y'all gotta wear something

other than a fucking Legend of Zelda t-shirt. Didn't we just pass the anniversary of when all those... Oh, he has to. You have to, Leighton, because every time we have a guest on there they're going to see You have to take out the cork near the near the mic.

We've already gone over the fact that I'm a fan of the podcast. He listens to the podcast. He's going to go back and listen to this and be like I'm definitely going to skip this one. I skip all the ones I'm on too. Are you going to let me open the cork? Yeah you can open the cork. That's the best part.

Every time. Doesn't it feel nice, too? Yeah, it's like zoom. So a lot of boys' lips have been on that. Yeah, so you might like it, Layton. I'm sorry, man. That was too far, man. I'm sorry. No, I mean, that's literally what I was about to say. Was it me? Matt? Oh, my mom's calling me.

Your mom's calling you? My mom's calling me. Hey, say, sorry, Mom. I'm big time now. You're about to say. Matt. Oh, my mom's calling me. Your mom's calling you? My mom's calling me. Hey, say, sorry mom, I'm big time now. You're about to let all the Hennessy out? It's evaporating. You know, alcohol evaporates like the fastest. Hey, where are you? I'm on a podcast right now at the office, and I'm about to

take a little swig of Hennessy. Do you mind if I call you back after? Welcome to the office. I don't mind if you call me after. Alright, Mom. I'll call you in a little bit. You driving home from work? Yeah, I'm leaving. Good. I'm proud of you.

She stays late all the time. She's been out of bed for a while. She got her license back? Come on, Matt. Don't do that. Alright, Mom. I'll call you in a little bit. I love you. Okay. Drive safe.

Bye. Layton loves his mom. Dude, my mom is literally the coolest person in the world. So don't even start, Matt. Sandra Bullock. Obviously. Come on, man. Don't out her. Don't fucking out her.

Take a sip of that Hennessy, man. That was a big sip. I could hear that swallow. It's not the best, is it? It burns, doesn't it? I'm going to put the cork back on in the right way. Hold on.

Oh. Sealing it up. Nice. Not to be open until we have another guest. Doesn't that shit burn? Do you want some water? Do you have water?

I have a bottle of water if you don't mind drinking out of the same bottle. Give it to me. Oh! It was open when he threw it. Pranked you. Gotcha! The old wet pants trick. Oldest one in the book.

To be fair, I was only lightly capping it because it was next to me. You soiled my dress. Oh, dude. His nail polish is running now. He's going to cry and his mascara is going to run. Way to go. Way to go, Ryan. Dude, you look good with the... One of the oldest tricks, though.

You're water falling. Are you scared of Ryan? No, I just... Are you scared that I'm going to turn you straight? I mean, when you're next to two minutes straight as us layton it it's easy to be convinced to become straight yeah i mean you guys like definitely i mean it's starting now starting after like eight months get used to the consistent women at the office and i've gotten to the point now where I don't even try to learn names

because it's just like it's always it's just like an it's just like an open we don't learn their names either Leighton I assume so but I mean like when when you guys like my whole role is to meet them at the door and then go over like I mean the the NDAs that I have to make them go through

per your request. Well, we know that if you let them in, there's no worry of you trying to come on to them, right? Yeah, exactly. So that's why we do that. And Justin, we would never let answer the door because I know for a fact that he's a little hog in the sack. If we let Justin open the door and let the ladies into the super megaplex, they're not even going to get down the hall. I'm just going to hear. It's the. Justin oh oh fuck justin will i open the door to let the ladies in and then i instantly have to look behind me and justin will be at the top of the steps and he's looking like through the little the peak of the railing and then i have to turn

around and i've yelled justin get the squirt bottle and then I have to turn around, and I've yelled, Justin! Get the squirt bottle. Yeah, and I have to yell at him all the time. He's always asking, where the honey's at? I have to do, like, the Cesar Romano dog sound. Yeah. Yeah, but, uh, he's fiended. That's Layton, everybody. Uh, Layton is, uh, the newest, the newest addition to the team, and do you want to

segue us into some ad reads, Layton? Here you go. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. First, where can people find you? Oh. What's your plug? And then you gotta do better than here we go for the ad reads.

Well, I mean, you guys literally would just like say ad reads? Well, we're a lot too late and we're the hosts. Well, what do you want me to say? Like, okay, here, Matt and Ryan are gonna talk about some shit.

Introduce yourself first. Give your plugs. Well, I mean, not, you know. Okay. Okay. Yes. Okay, Ryan, I mean, not... Okay. Okay. Yes. Okay, Ryan, I'm going to introduce myself. My Instagram would then be at Leighton Stollard, my name.

And then Twitter is at, yeah, sure, I guess. Good name. Good name. That's because my name is one letter too long for a Twitter at. Leighton Stollard. Yeah. And that would just be ridiculous. All right, man.

Well, you want to bring us into some ad reads? Enjoy this shit you're not going to want. Layton, we can't do that. Yeah, sorry. Come on, buddy. You know what? This is actually reflecting very poorly on your employees right now. You have to say, man, these products, I have every single one of them.

I mean, I will say, like, I did get Mint Mobile because of the podcast. Mint's not. They're not paying us to promote it. Okay. Oh, well, then I won't talk about that. Have you used Manscaped? Raycon? Do you have the vaccine?

Oh, yeah. Okay. CDC is sponsoring this one. So say something about that maybe. No, actually, they don't want anything said about the vaccine other than what's on the script. But this isn't an ad read though. That's true. This is a part of the podcast.

Well, yeah, I got vaccinated because I'm smart. So enjoy these ad reads. Perfect. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs,

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Enjoy the rest of your melting ice cream. It's not ice cream. No, sure. You know, you said it was a smoothie at first, and now I figure out that it's a your melting ice cream. It's not ice cream. No, sure, you know, you said it was a smoothie at first, and now I figure out that it's a bowl of ice cream. It's soft-serve with chocolate fudge, Leighton. Stop trying to pretend like that's healthy. There's rainbow sprinkles.

It's a pretty, you know, common... What are the rainbow sprinkles, Leighton? Well, I didn't get it. You're the one that got it, Leighton. Maybe you're the one who should tell me about the rainbow sprinkles. I don't want to hear it, Leighton. Now, we're going to have a talk after the podcast, Leighton. Hey,'re the one who should tell me about the rainbow sprinkles. I don't want to hear it. Leave. Now. We're going to have a talk after the podcast, Leighton. Hey, remember, bowl of cereal in the sink?

Yeah. Also, I did... It just occurred to me, I forgot to flush when I took a shit earlier. So, if you would mind doing that so it doesn't just get rancid. It's already rancid, trust me, but if you wouldn't mind just... This was yesterday, by the way, too. So, if you wouldn't mind going rancid. It's already rancid, trust me, but if you wouldn't mind just... This was yesterday, by the way,

too, so if you wouldn't mind going to flush that. That's like the third bathroom in this house in the past four days to get soiled. It's our office, Leighton. I want to hear yes, sir, right away, sir.

But also... Can we what? Not me. away sir yes but also at this point but also can we what you i believe one of you needs a colonoscopy not me it's definitely me but yeah you'll tell from the shit in there that one's mine for sure yeah it's very solid yeah it's solid it's thin it's very it's almost like a mustard yellow all right mine's like moss in a swamp yeah Yeah. Thanks. Bye. Nice guy, man. Yeah. Nice guy. Did you know that I just read that South Park... So Matt Stone and Trey Parker have been making some moves, the creators of South Park.

They just signed... 14 movies? How many movies? Yeah, I think like 14 movies. Maybe it was like way more than that. I think it's 14 of them and nine more seasons of South Park or something. But they signed a $900 billion deal. No, I'm sorry.

$900 million. I was like, what? Yeah, so they just signed a $900 million deal. Jesus Christ. That's almost a billion dollars for South Park. That's wild. But I love South Park. I'm glad they're going to.

I'm excited for the movies they're going to make. And then, but also they just, they're buying Casa Bonita. Like they're buying the actual franchise. I wonder movies they're going to make. And then, but also they just, they're buying Casa Bonita. Like they're buying the actual franchise. I wonder what they're going to, are they a South Park themed restaurant? Well, cause you know, in South Park Casa Bonita. Yeah. How it's like there, like, it's like, do you think they're going to put any references or do you think they're just going to keep it as is?

That's genius that they bought it. They'll probably turn it in some South Park references. They'll do something Matt and Trey related. Those guys are. They'll have cardboard cutouts at the front. They'll do something Matt and Trey related. Those guys are... They'll have cardboard cutouts at the front. Take a picture with Matt and Trey from South Park. There's no South Park references. There's no, like, South Park imagery.

It's just them. They brand it after themselves. We should buy a restaurant. They put their names on the front. And, like, big light-up sign with their faces on it. We should franchise, like, a Bojangles or something and then in our Bojangles location just make it themed after us. It's always

doing Let's Plays and it's playing Let's Plays on the TV too loud too. And we only get speakers. The speakers are already a little bit we blow the speakers before we even use them for the first time so it's like We make sure our menus are flickering.

So they have to like pay, like really like pay attention multiple times and piece it together in their brain, like a puzzle when they're ordering. We'll have the spelling like flicker between correct and incorrect. So it's, it's kind of like, wait,

did that just say, no, just really confusing to people. I like this man. We should franchise a restaurant we can we can have like an order on our app but it's just like a png image with like buttons that don't do anything i love that or like like one of the digital ordering like like booths where you can go

and order but it's just a png of a menu so you're like what the and like people always and and make it so it's like. One of them's working. All of them have paper on it that say out of order. The only one that's working is just a PNG image. And then anytime someone tries to complain it's not working, just be like, yes, it is. It's working.

You're just not doing it right. Oh, then show me. Get out of the restaurant. But we could have it like change, like go to a different thing. We click a button so then it actually works. So we show them, like, it's not that hard, see? And then flip it back to just a still P&G image. Oh, man, dude.

What kind of restaurant would you want to franchise? Hmm. An Outback Steakhouse. Yeah? Yeah. There's some things. What would you do with your Outback Steakhouse? Ryan McGee?

Put a rideable bull in it. A rideable bull? Yeah. That's actually a great do with your Outback Steakhouse? Put a rideable bull in it. A rideable bull? Yeah. That's actually a great idea for an Outback Steakhouse. Except it would be a kangaroo instead of a bull. That's not the one. Even though usually it's just a saddle, but it would be a kangaroo saddle. A kangaroo would be pretty similar.

It would also be a saddle. It would be maybe more upright. Or you get in the pouch. It would have more of a bounce to it than like a rock and back and forth. It's still rock back and forth, but it would also go up, you know. I've never. Like a saddle. No, I did ride a bull once.

Like a bull at the fair. Like a fake one. Like one of the electric bulls. Same. I rode also a little donkey one time. A real one? Yeah. Yeah.

And a pony. Have you ever ridden a pony? I have, yes. At a birthday party when I was a kid. Wasn't it great? It was great. A beautiful, majestic creature. Man, horses are really just such beautiful animals.

What are they connected to again? I know we looked it up at some point. Was it deer? Like they're deer-like? Equestria. They're connected to good feelings for me. Because when I think about horses, I think of MLP, and that always is a good feeling for me. Because when I think about horses, I think of MLP and that always is a good feeling for me.

You know, so the guy from Breaking Bad that plays James' dad. Wait, no. Yeah. Horses, donkeys, and zebras. Zebras make sense. Zebras just look like a painted horse. No deer. Where are giraffes? We had this conversation before. I just don't remember. They gotta be related to horses. Let's see what giraffes are related to. There's no way bears

aren't related to dogs. You look at a bear and it's like, that's a pooch right there. You know? 100% a pooch. Like somewhere down the... Bears are just big, fat pooches. Yeah, they're just their own thing, giraffes.

His mom's a big, fat pooch. Gotcha. Gotcha, Cecile. I know you're listening. How's that for your self-esteem, bitch? Matt. Probably not great. Tell Matt that he's making these jokes too much. I really don't like the way he's talking about me. Ryan, I know he's kidding, but still.

Come on, it hurts a little bit. Dude, have you listened to Donda? So good. Holy shit. Jeff Bezos' rock would be looking hella sus. It's on Spotify right now. Is it really? Yeah, just released You're fucking with me. It didn't. Oh, yes, it did. Wow. I want to I want I want to play you My my favorite track off of it

We're gonna get copyright strike for that copyright strike for that. Are you hungry? Was that an ad? It was a... But followed by the farting, you hungry? Ancient forgotten animal vines to watch when you're depressed as fuck.

I guess it was a related video. I accidentally hit the arrow. You hungry? But I can go back to the... We're getting copyright. Don't. Turn it off. Doesn't it fucking slap?

That does slap, though. Kanye's done it again. I can tell. i have a lot of faith in that man he's um epic kanye yeah epic kanye have you seen that he that he's uh like to get into shape again he said he's only he's only skipping he skips everywhere no walking walking? Just skipping? Just skipping. He skips out of bed. He skips to the shower. He's actually taking inspiration from that John Lennon song. Imagine there's no walking.

Yep. Only skipping. Classics. Classics. Beautiful. John Lennon is... I do really like John Lennon a lot. Yeah. Too bad he's so fucking ugly. Too bad he's so dead, you know? John Lennon's not uh, I do really like John Lennon a lot. Yeah. Too bad he's so fucking ugly.

Too bad he's so dead, you know? John Lennon's not ugly. He's beautiful. Well, have you seen his corpse? Yeah, not looking too hot, John. It's called a facial moisturizer. You've seen better days, my friend. It's called a skincare routine, sweetie.

It's that one part in our fucking book that every time I read it, I laugh. You're sitting on the toilet going through the People's Magazine. That's the only spoilers you'll get. We're trying to finish the book pretty soon. The goal is by the end of the month. Yeah. But John Lennon made really good music. Beat his wife.

But. Yuki Ono? Yeah. He beat Yuki Ono. And, you know, not very nice. Not very nice of him to do that. Actually, I think, was it his ex-wife or was it Yuki? Thanks.

She's still kicking. She still makes music. I had a Yoko Ono still kicking she still makes music I had I had a Yoko Ono does she still make paintings or who no wait who did the

is that Ringo Ringo Starr and I've been thinking Jackson I was talking yesterday what if we used company money to actually buy one of the Ringo Starr originals the signed ones

he has an OnlyFans now right yes kicking it for 80 which is crazy but the Ringo Starr originals, there's Your Baby, which is the most famous one. And they're just off. DaBaby?

You did a portrait of DaBaby. Ringo Starr. It's signed. It's a Ringo Starr. DaBaby as the boss baby. Mm-hmm. Let's go. I pull up.

I'm really a big fan of DaBaby. He's a very, very, very influential musician. But is that Pyrocynical? Pyrocynical is the grandson of Ringo Starr. Did you not know that? No, he's not. Yes, he is. Yes, he is, legit.

He's Ringo Starr's grandson. Really? Hold on, I'm going to look it up. Holy shit. Yeah, it's right there, right? Right there in black ink on white paper. Yeah. Pirates.

Sitting there on the ground, actually, next to you, right? Just printed out on a piece of paper. But Ringo Starr, I was thinking, what if we use company money to buy one of the Ringo Starr originals? Because when he dies... One of, like, the ones in MS Paint? Yeah. They're all signed, too. I'd be so down. How much are they, though?

Your Baby is $4,000, And there's only 100 of them. And honestly, when companies buy art, it's classified as an asset. If we take a picture of it and post it to our Twitter and go, what a cool painting. Yeah. Then it was like, it was for a little, it was for a short little sketch for our Twitter. The classic, what a cool painting sketch. It is. short little sketch for our twitter the the class so it's tax deductible sketch it is and then also uh it that accounts as uh an asset so that would still if you buy something like that the net worth of the business won't change because art is is one of those things like art property stuff like that

that is factored into a net worth right yeah? So we're spending $4,000, but we're not actually spending, the net worth of the company stays the same. So when the accountants go, why did you just spend $4,000? What did you do? So actually we didn't spend, we just transferred,

we reallocated the money from a liquid asset into art. So it's still there. And it's only going to gain, once Ringo Starr passes passes which will be i think september 2nd 2021 uh it's going to just absolutely just skyrocket in value the sound of ebay my chris chan original drawing that i have i'm sure has gone up in value. Oh, yeah. I have an original Chris Chan. It's a drawing of Pokemon done in marker. Oni had a medallion.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oni did have that medallion. That shit was, you could see little fingerprints in it. Beautiful, beautiful thing. Dude, I just beat the who farted allegations in court. Just a picture of a guy in court with his hands like he's crying and like his lawyers around him crying. Yeah, and it's like when you beat the who farted allegations.

There is nothing worse than when you're with a group of people and you get blamed for a fart that wasn't you. That's why. It's embarrassing. Well, that's why every time I fart. You fess up. I fess up. You never hide it. Either I make it a show or if someone asks me, I will be, remember, you can ask me anytime. You'd be like, was that you?

I'm not like, you know, I'm like, yeah. Well, I always know when you do it because it's almost like you want me to notice before I smell you. You're like, ooh. And I'm like, that means you fart. And then it hits me and it's like, wow. I'm giving you a warning. Justin kept it. We were at Macy's in line buying those fucking white suits for our spaghetti vlog and he did it and it was like dude the poor fucking woman that's already having to deal with us checking out

wearing our spaghetti meme shirts now she has to smell it and so is everyone else in line justin's a growing boy so he's eating that meat slop yeah he's on a meat slop diet fill up his trough every day at the office yep goes crazy over that meat slop well he's getting big from it he's getting someone's phone calling me. Justin Tracy is phone calling me. The other Justin. The one that's already grown. Justin also like besides the

meat slop needs to be taking some kind of supplements man. Yeah. His growth is stunted. I think he needs testosterone. It's 311. What? 311. Make a wish. Hey guess what else it is? It's Friday the 13th. Is it really?

It's Friday the 13th. Did nothing come out about Friday the 13th? Was there any new game or new movie? Is there any marketing? Let's see. Let's see what's trending on Twitter. see let's see what's trending on twitter um taliban claims at least half of afghanistan's provincial capitals in the last week so yikes that's bad luck too r.i.p young um so uh no friday no jason hashtag trump reinstatement is trending, today's the day that Trump was supposed to be reinstated?

Two years. My administration has accomplished. Sorry. The cast of How I Met Your Father is what Barney Stinson would call legendary. That's also on this. Lorde's work here is done. Now she vibes. Dude, article titles in 2021 are some of the worst fucking... Now she vibes dude article titles in 2021 are like some of the worst fucking now she vibes dude jeff bezos rocket be looking hella sus if i'm being honest

dude fucking barney stinson barney gumbel dude hillary duff is in how i met your father that's a thing yeah dude you going to see hashtag free guy? Probably at some point, I'd imagine. Because Justin keeps, well, he's only done it once. Hold on. Hey, Justin.

He's got noise-canceling headphones. Yeah. I thought I heard him respond. Justin? Justin? If he responds, that means he doesn't have a headphone sound, which means he's not working. Let me call this boy up. Like how he could just walk over there.

Ring the Justin bell. Yeah. We need different pitched bells for different employees. So Layton knows when to come. Justin knows when to come. Jackson knows when to come. Bottom. Yes. Hey, we need to settle something we need to figure out what's going on tonight and uh you you haven't done a certain thing in in over 24 hours

what do we need to settle uh the odds are that you said you would do every day on the hour. Oh, where are you? I'm in the podcast room. Just a moment. He's just in time. Here he comes. So, Justin, explain to them what movie specifically and why you chose this movie. Go ahead.

Can you remind me what movie it was? Because I forgot. Some friend. It was Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds. Oh, Free Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the movie looks fucking stupid, and I like watching fucking stupid movies.

Jacksepticeye was in it, dude. Was Jacksepticeye in Free Guy? No, he was in an ad campaign for it. Oh, that's cool. So anyways, as I was saying, the movie looks fucking stupid, and I like watching stupid shit. Ryan does not enjoy

watching stupid shit as much as I do. Because sometimes it just grinds, like it's, it has to be a particular kind of stupid. The Madea movies were,

the Madea boo on Madea Halloween was too bad. I love that stupid shit. It was miserable. No, I love that too, but Madea's Halloween was like two hours longer

than it should have been. All of them. The one exception was Hubie Halloween. I watched that with Ryan. That movie was so bad that it wasn't enjoyable. But yeah, free guy. Of course you would, Jackson. The Hubie Halloween stands are out.

The Hubie Halloween stands are here. I'm more of a Hubie Halloween fan than you are. So we have to do today's, I'm guessing, which we would have to see tonight at some point. Yes, yes. So what were the odds? Was it like three or five? It was five. Okay.

So out of five, does it continue to go down? So now it's four. That seem fun? That does seem pretty fun. Okay. So out of four? Out of four. Three, two, one, two.

Four. Ooh, baby. Nice. Wait, Justin. Justin, what are the odds tonight you have to go see Jungle Cruise by yourself? We already saw that. Yeah, what are the odds you have to go see it by yourself? By myself?

Yeah. I'll pay for your ticket, and I'll drop you off and pick you up. I don't want to sit there by myself when I'm in town. What are the odds? Everyone needs a little alone time. Ten. You can make a video bit out of it. Three, two, 1, 9

Turn 9 upside down at 6 See I always like to play low When I really fucking shouldn't Cause that would've sucked I didn't even really like it that much It was fun I thought it was you know It is what it was

It is what it is Forget about it cuh Yeah forget about it is. It is what it was. Forget about it, cuh. Yeah, forget about it, cuh. That's a good Paul Walker impression. Hey, do you guys know that Paul Walker's a fucking pedophile? Finally, he's gone. Banished him to the shadow realm once again. Yep.

I can't believe he would say something as bold and as false as that. Back to his trough he goes. Maybe he can go enjoy some of his meat slop. Justin's meat slop. Dude, remember Easy Beef? Was that Beef and Go? What was it? What was the Smosh video?

I remember Beef and Go. Was it Beef and Go? It was this disgusting paste in a tube. Yeah, it was beef. I loved that one. I got old Smosh, man. I told you, my favorite video is That Damn Neighbor Part 2,

I think. Maybe it's even Part 1. I can't remember. That's so close. Just that whole series. I loved it. I was laughing my ass off when the guy in the bright 90s, like, jacket, holding the flamingo with the sunglasses on. Can't get better than that.

Just a deadpan face. What about a... I don't remember what it was, but there was one where it's like I'm not being sarcastic. No, no, I know. Old Smosh, classic. And also, major bravo for their work ethic of being able to release a full sketch every single week.

Yeah. And a movie where they walked around their neighborhood for like an hour and a half. I got so excited when I saw that. It was fake. I still watch it. I used to watch Ian is Bored. Or Lunchtime with Smosh. I watched Lunchtime. Ian is Bored was great because in the first

so in like the first Ian is Bored videos, it's back when they're young and they're packing Smosh merch. They look high as fuck. Have you ever asked him about it? I did though. That's the thing. I brought it up to Ian and I was like, you guys were high as fuck. He's like asked him about it? I did, though. That's the thing. I brought it up to Ian. And I was like, you guys were high as fuck.

He's like, actually, we weren't. We were fully sober in those videos. They just look fucking... They look blazed out of their mind. They look toasty. But I asked him in private. He's like, no, we weren't high. And I was like, that's insane. Like, those videos are classic, man.

That bedroom, like, I can see that bedroom perfectly in my head. With, like, the CDs on the wall. Well, you used to show up and look through the blinds. Yes, but the video version too. That desk where they would edit the Smosh videos, I see it. And then that poster, the hot chicks on the wall that they both came on. I just remember when they moved. They did.

They showed it in the video. It's like, we jizzed on them. And there's jizz on the poster. I want to know if Ian and Anthony, like, did that together. Like, they took turns. They had to stand on a stool to hit that. Is that video still up? Yeah.

All that stuff's up on Ian's second channel. That's cool. We don't have any cum stains on the Super Mega channel. Yeah. We got Justin Jackson and Leighton. Zinger, right? It was a good one, my friend Ryan smoking crack

Ryan smoking crack What about it, pussy? That smells good What strain of crack is that? It's belly button strawberry Oh yeah, that's why it smells like beef Let me try this, man Let me try the crack

Oh, that hits man yeah imagine gandalf smoking a big crack pipe instead of uh was in the original in the books in the books they changed it for the movies for the mpaa right but in the books he gandalf smoking crack um which is pretty cool oh here comes the outro music every time i cry by dan mason that's crazy there comes the outro music. Every Time I Cry by Dan Mason. That's crazy. There's the outro music. Guys, thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week for episode 259. Love you as always.

Thank you for the support, and we'll see you next week. Bye-bye. I ruined it. Ha-ha. Yeah, you ruined it with a marker plan. I'm sorry. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain.

It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps.

Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.