supermegashow - EP 26 - President Donald J. Trump
Episode Date: February 24, 2017Trump. It happened. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Welcome to the Super Mega Podcast. I'm Ryan McGee.
I'm Matt Watson.
And Matt, you want to take the reins on this one?
Absolutely, Ryan.
Okay.
I would like to announce the 45th President of the United States of America, Mr. Donald J. Trump.
The man, the legend, the god, Donald Trump, everybody!
Yes! We don't like getting
super political on this podcast, but
this is different. This is...
America has elected Donald Trump
as their next president.
I never thought I would be saying those words.
President Trump.
President Donald Trump. Oh, guys,
come off it. He's gonna make America great
again. You're just biased liberals.
No, I'm not even a liberal.
Who are you?
I don't know what I am, actually.
Are you a libertarian?
No, I'm not a libertarian.
Are you a Green Party member?
I'm not a Green Partier.
Are you a cunt?
I'm a cunt.
Yeah.
I'm part of the cunt party.
Grab him by the cunt.
Jesus Christ.
It's just shocking to me that after such a disastrous
campaign losing every debate you know that's the thing that surprises me so we lost all three
debates and then what basically i paid attention to florida because usually whoever wins florida
will uh eventually you know since i think it was since 1992 florida's pretty much whoever
florida's voted for has become president so So Florida was a big thing to look at
And then of course Pennsylvania and Virginia
A bunch of the swing states as well
But Florida was the big one
You and I were just
Florida was counting the votes and we were just like
It went blue
I was watching it as it switched blue and then red
And I think it switched to blue again
It went back and forth a few times
It went back to blue for a while and then
it went to red and he led by just
a little tiny bit.
And then just started those other
those mid states started coming in. Then he got Texas?
Yep. But she got California
New York of course. I mean
I mean I don't think that's a
surprise. No. California New York
will always be blue. I don't I can't
see a situation where those would be red.
Yesterday, I will always remember.
I will always fucking remember.
Just hearing the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Fuck. Fucking damn it. Oh, they did it. He's probably just like, oh, you fucking idiots. God damn it. Shit.
He doesn't get to have any fun anymore.
He's gonna be president. The rest of his life
will be stressful as shit. I know.
There's no room for fun
now with Donald Trump. Then you're like, oh, yeah?
Well, why did Obama play basketball?
Here's the thing. Donald
Trump, you know, he's gotten everything
he's ever wanted in his life. He's,
what, four to five billion dollars net worth.
He's 70 years old.
He's an old man.
This could have been the perfect time.
He could have retired, never worked another day, never made another deal, just relax until
he checks out.
But now he's been assigned with the most stressful job on the planet, being the president of
one of the biggest countries in the world. One of the biggest world superpowers.
Now he is the leader of that.
Donald Trump.
The host of The Apprentice.
The fucking orange man.
You have to think about this, Matt.
Think about this hard, okay?
I'm thinking hard.
About the words that I'm about to say.
Alright.
For the rest of his life, his title will be President Donald J. Trump.
Mr. President.
Mr. President. For the rest of his life. Trump. Mr. President. Mr. President.
For the rest of, when he's out of office, for the rest of his life, it's Mr. President.
He's gained that.
A man who's gotten, as you said, everything he's ever wanted in his life.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Whatever.
It's happened.
Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo.
Cry, cry, cry.
It's set in stone now.
There's no going back.
Hillary Clinton shit her pants last night.
And Donald Trump is going to be the next president.
So that's Jesus Christ.
I am.
I will admit, though, there are a few things that, you know, try to look at the brighter side of every situation.
Here are a few things we can take from this.
Maybe, you know, like 14-year-olds on the internet can complain about something that actually matters now.
Yeah.
They can complain about real issues.
And also, I feel like whatever, it'll be a very exciting, interesting four years.
It'll be shitty and a lot of progress will be undone.
But it will be.
Maybe.
Hopefully not. Because the thing is, they won the house and the senate as well yeah not too much of a surprise that's why i'm saying
a lot of progress uh when it comes to like social stuff can be undone very easily with this situation
now but um whatever happens it's going to be an interesting and honestly funny and exciting to watch debacle because you know I
guarantee I don't know maybe
he now that he's going to be
president maybe he's going to completely change his role
and be very presidential and that
was all just to win the fucking campaign
maybe loud obnoxious and
he only got the elect last
night so I don't know what's going to go but if he
if he continues to be the Donald
Trump that the world has gotten to know then his four years the donald trump that he's been his entire fucking
life yes uh then the next four years will be quite the shit storm entertaining oh it'll be
super entertaining it'll be and that's all that american politics are it's entertainment it
doesn't fucking matter it's all entertainment that's why I think like when 2020 comes, it's like the
it's like a movie. The Democratic Party
Trump is going for
Trump is going for a second
term and the only way to stop him
is with the same amount of crazy
Kanye West
If 2020
is Trump versus Kanye West
Oh God. I will be convinced that I'm in a coma.
And this is a crazy dream.
Nice.
Thank you.
But, God, I mean, that's pretty much all I have to say about Trump.
It's an embarrassment, more of anything, you know, to other countries, to the rest of the world.
It's an embarrassment.
It's almost like this dirty billionaire car salesman
won the presidency.
The best steaks in the world.
And then people are going to get upset
when we fucking name-call Donald Trump,
even though that's the game he's been playing
this whole fucking campaign.
So I swear to God, do not turn around and say,
stop making fun of him.
Stop calling him names.
That's how he ran his fucking campaign.
He bullied people yeah
He got to where he was with a loud mouth
And it worked
And it worked
And I mean he knows the rules
He knows the rules of entertainment
And that went in his advantage
But we've been talking about this for a while
We've been talking about this for a while now
Yeah I mean there's nothing we can do
Sit back for the next four years
Relax and just let President Trump
Take our country
in whatever direction he takes it.
So all the crying's out of the way, all the boo-hoo, fucking let's hold hands and blah, blah.
It'll be a good four years for comedy.
South Park, Saturday Night Live, they're going to have a, they have, they're happy, the writers,
because now they have material for the next four years.
The Daily Show, they're all set.
Yeah.
Turn off your cell phone, Matt.
Sorry, I've.
You talk about me, touching the mics, and you always leave your fucking cell phone on yeah it's my it's i'm sorry
it's my sister calling me here did she just find out she just i actually i had to break the news
to my mom this morning um because she hasn't like she she's just stressed out she doesn't like
either one she doesn't mean she doesn't want to see it so i texted her i was like i'm disappointed she's like and what and i'm like president trump and she was like no way what
and i was like yeah mom president trump so but if you followed throughout the night it was almost
like he's gonna do it he's he he's he was in the lead for almost the whole time because you and i
were looking at the polls from the beginning. Yeah, all day.
Once they actually started to announce it
and my eyes were glued to the phone.
I thought that she would, I thought, you know, like
those early states were coming in, you know,
it was like Kentucky and I think
it was Tennessee or something. I thought,
I don't remember what states, but they were, you know,
red states. So I'm like, oh,
of course he's in the lead right now because those just wait
for the rest of the country to come in.
And all of a sudden I thought he was just going to get knocked out. Yeah, but holy shit.
He got Donald Trump.
You gotta, Jesus Christ, it's impressive.
It is impressive how he managed to do this.
Chris Chan.
I'm kidding.
Oh, yeah.
Can we really talk about that, though?
Chris Chan, everyone's favorite.
He made a tweet like,
someone needs to get a sniper rifle and shoot donald trump in his head but then this morning they put it on
info wars and if you don't know what info wars is info wars is alex alex jones's website they got
water turning the freaking frogs gay that guy so yeah he's he's psychotic but info wars is
probably the one site I would never trust.
If I had to pick one site to be the least trustworthy news source, it'd be InfoWars.
It's like a big conspiracy theory site.
But Chris Chan tweeted out that he wanted someone to snipe Donald Trump in the head.
And InfoWars put it on their website.
So seeing Chris Chan and InfoWars, the past 24 hours you know we see donald
trump nothing's real it's all a simulation it's not real glenn beck said that obama made him a
better man and he's a supporter of black lives matter now info wars and chris chan on one little
one little thing together donald j trump as president of the United States of America?
It's, it's...
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You say I want a revolution.
Well, you know, we i want to change the world after after everything
that's happened in my life in the past two years nothing will surprise me like there's so many
curveballs it's to what the fuck what is life what is life where is laughter is confused and
the sky's getting heavy tonight i want to to know, I want to know tonight.
I'm trying to pick up on what song that was. I was squeezing out some farts.
Yeah, I could.
Just think about it, guys.
We could have had President Dr. Ben Carson.
And you threw it all away for Donald Trump.
He's a brain surgeon.
Come on!
He's the only one on that stage who had performed a neuroscopy.
I don't know.
I just made that word up.
It sounds like something.oscopy yeah I'm
surprised how close Jill Stein
came to you know defeating
Donald Trump every other
candidate with a whole point
nine percent of the yep or
Daryl Castle of the
constitutionalist party oh yeah
by the way we got gifts because
Aaron got us stuff from Japan
and okay I'm so fucking jazzed about this.
He got me the Nintendo, like, the original Super Nintendo.
The SNES, yeah.
Yeah.
The Super Famicom in Japan.
He got me the Donkey Kong Country, like, originally wrapped, like, from 1994.
Yeah, it's unopened.
It's in the plastic wrap still.
I'm not opening that shit.
Don't open it, because that is... Not even don't open it like, because it's like you could
sell it one day.
Don't open it because it's just like, it's novel.
It's like a piece of time.
And it's just so, it's a big part of my childhood.
Just boom.
It's my favorite.
I like to think about things this way.
Every memory that's ever happened in your life, that game has been the exact same in
that box.
And then like, you know, that's weird.
Like when you find a penny from like 1940 or 50, it's like, think about all the historical
events that have happened.
All this penny has existed in someone's pocket.
Just like a time lapse with the penny in center frame and just fast forwarding like a year
every five seconds.
To make like a video about like a penny from 1920.
Yeah.
Like a wheat penny or something.
And then just like a time lapse like a you know some
well-shot thing of the penny and just showing all these historical things like like you know
the guy drops the change on the counter and the tv in the background has some like news event like
kennedy assassination and like all the way up through 9-11 and then like trump being elected
that would be a great way to intro a movie and like tell kind of like tell the history of something
just following like a piece of a
dollar bill or some shit like that
that would be really cool that's what's cool about money is
you know you can use it for cinematic
where were you going any
given you know most coins
like if I get changed usually
you know they're from the 90s
they're from the early 2000s stuff like that
it's just it's cool to me how
long coins stay in circulation.
How, not so much dollars because most money nowadays is pretty current because dollars,
like the designs actually changed.
They changed over a few decades.
And whenever I see an old $10 bill from like the 90s or 80s or something, you can tell
because the design is different.
And I remember when I worked at Chick-fil-A, someone would give me
an old $10, $20 bill that has
a different design.
I remember the first time I saw one, I was
like, whoa, is this fake?
My favorite thing to come out was
the blue strip 20.
No, the 100, right?
It was the $100 bill.
Are you sure?
When we first got
when we first got When we first got
Yeah I remember
The first time I saw one
As a cashier
I was like surprised
It looked cool
Yeah it looks futuristic
It's much harder to counterfeit
You know what
That's another thing
America's money sucks
It's so boring
Compared to other countries
I'm not trying to sound
All like
But have you ever
Like held like
Canadian dollars Or like Mexican We used to have a bunch of cool stuff we used to have the 50 cent we used to have
the dollar coin i know i don't i don't that's way too much to produce though i mean yeah but
other countries have some like japan like their their coins are rings like they have a hole in
the center that's cool and then i don't know i think it's afghanistan uh i don't know anymore
but they used to have these really cool coins
that were like weird shapes and stuff.
And I don't know. I love
the designs of money. I used to be
really into it when I was back in high school.
And I used to like, really nerdy, but I used
to design my own
dollars and coins and stuff for
like, not any specific country.
I just thought the designs of coins and stuff
were really cool
because i used to collect them i have a really big coin collection and like currency collection
with dollars from other countries and stuff and i don't know american money just looks so old and
boring when you compare it to like these vibrant things with like clear like dollar bills that have
parts that are completely clear on them and all these like other countries that have cool animals
and shit on theirs and we just got these these old white dudes just with very disapproving well give
us a little bit of credit i mean you're not giving what about the quarters you have the big map where
you can collect all the state quarters and they all have different design no that is cool that's
cool that is definitely cool i i had one of those maps and you just placed them in the little circles
of each state oh i did too i got I got a lot of the way there.
But I remember when I had mine, they hadn't released all the states yet when I was doing it with my grandma.
Same, yeah.
So I never finished it because, I don't know, they hadn't released all the states.
So I just kind of lost interest.
But Australia did the same thing, I think, with their coins.
I think they put a bunch of different animals, like a ton of different animals on their coins.
I think they had like one coin.
The Madagascar animals.
They had Alex the Lion.
Alex the Lion.
God, what would you do if they just changed the design of our currency to be Madagascar themed?
With Donald Trump with his arm around all of it?
I would, it wouldn't surprise me anymore.
After everything that's happening, it's like, oh, I'm not shocked.
Wow.
Everyone on Twitter would freak out about it.
It'd be trending, and then it would be a completely normal thing.
Isn't he going to slick his hair back, Donald Trump?
Yeah, he mentioned, I read something.
I don't remember where I read it, but he said that if he's elected president, he's going to ditch the goofy hairstyle and slick his hair back.
Is that what he said?
I'm going to ditch this goofy hairstyle.
I don't think he used those exact words.
He said, I'm'm gonna ditch my ridiculous penis
looking haircut. Penis looking? He looks
like a penis from certain angles. What?
From front, it's cause it's like, it's just this weird
like, I was looking at a picture of him last night.
Do you have a toupee on your cock?
Does hair grow from the tip of your penis?
Ryan, you're acting like that's not normal.
And Ryan legitimately,
there's his penis. Ryan,
put that away. Stop stretching it. Does it look like there's Ryan put that away Stop stretching it
Does it look like there's hair on that
Does it look like there's hair on that
No there's no hair on your penis
Hair or no hair
Hair or no hair look
No hair Ryan
That's what I thought
I made direct eye contact with
Your urethra
Wow
That's the first time I've made direct eye contact with the hole in your penis.
Yeah.
The meatus, I believe.
Your dad is crying.
My dad's just listening to this.
He's sobbing.
I'm bad-mouthing Trump and then looking at another man's penis and commenting on it all in one podcast.
No, my boy.
My dad and my conservative family are just, oh, no.
He moved to Southern California.
I knew this would happen.
I do have that side of, a lot of people have that side of their family.
It seems like everyone has a side of their family that's very conservative.
They have like a conservative countryside.
We grew up in the South.
Of course we would.
Maybe that is just us because we grew up in the South.
It kind of makes sense when you think about it.
Yeah.
Also, when we went to
area 51 uh nevada i'm sorry nevada nevada when we went to nevada um for our area 51 escapade
it opened my eyes because i've never been out in the the midwest in the desert before
and it opened my eyes that the midwest is, that area is very similar to the deep South.
Oh yeah.
I'd never realized that.
Same with Northern California in some places because it's very rural.
Yeah.
I hate that word.
It's a fucking awful word.
We're talking about this in the car the other night.
Rural.
Rural.
It's a hard word to say.
It's uncomfortable.
Just doesn't roll.
It doesn't roll around your mouth very well.
Unlike the N word.
It's uncomfortable, but it's not a hard word to say.
Yeah.
I just had to say it in my mind a few times to...
It's a bad word, though.
Yeah, it's a very bad word.
Pretty bad word.
You shouldn't use it.
You should never say that word.
Unless you're making a hilarious joke around your white friends, then it's alright.
Yeah, what are good words that just feel...
Let's get some positivity going, Ryan.
What are some nice words that just feel nice coming out of the mouth?
Plump.
Plump.
That is...
Plump.
Trump.
No.
No.
No!
You ruined it!
Plump Trump.
You fucking ruined it, dude!
Fuck you!
I like the word caterpillar.
Caterpillar's good.
Caterpillar.
It just rolls around the mouth and slips
There's another word we're talking about in the car. That was like really good. What the fuck was that?
peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter I
like a jelly
Hippopotamus hip, oh, that's a good word don't like spelling it. Oh, I can't hold on
How do you spell hippopotamus h-i-p? It's these words when there's just random extra. Yes
Hold on, how do you spell hypoponymous?
H-I-P... It's these words when there's just random extra...
D-A-N-A-N-A-S.
There's random extra, like, double consonants for no reason.
I never understood in English, why do they randomly have two letters sometimes?
For words like...
I get it if it's like a harder sound, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense.
For example?
Mississippi?
Vernon?
Is that Vernon?
Yeah.
Vernon, shut the fuck up!
Stupid fucking liberal.
Oh, is he coming in?
Is he coming in?
Oh, there he is.
There he is.
Hey, Vernon.
Hey.
What's up?
That was him, not me, Vernon.
No, I didn't say anything.
Vernon, come here.
Vernon.
Vernon, get in here.
What, what?
Can we get a live reaction
Of Vernon Shaw of the 2016
Speaking of the mic buddy
Presidential election
Well I kind of want to talk about
How you guys are just ruining me right there
That was him that was him
That was not me
I was like doing work man
What did he say
You told me to shut the fuck up
Then he called you a dirty liberal.
I know I did.
And truth be told, like, that hurts to hear from him.
Well, then ignore him.
It's just me here.
You didn't hear anything?
No, Vernon, it's just me here.
Yeah, well...
What do you think of last night?
Well, I don't think anything right now because I'm just really sad.
Why would Matt do that to me? God damn it, Matt. We had the chance to get Vernon to bad mouth I'm sorry okay I admit I'm
wrong if you start smelling eggs that's me I fart I farted cool I got work to do but you guys have
fun with whatever the hell you're doing about the election I love you both he doesn't want to share
his opinion here first Vernon shot Trump. He's shaking his head.
We made him mad.
Yeah, but anyway.
Let's call Brent in here.
Brent, we need to ask you a question.
You want to get Brent in here?
No, no, no. Wait, wait.
Let's stage it to be like, ask him something about like,
let's find something in here to ask him a question about.
And then let's just think of something.
Like secretly? Yeah, secretly. Go ask him and I'll and then let's just think of something. Like secretly?
Yeah, secretly.
Go ask him and I'll direct the mic towards him.
Okay.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
No, no, no.
I just farted though.
It's on the opposite side of the room.
Okay, so we got, we have Wii remotes but we don't have like batteries fired them. It's on the opposite side of the room. Okay, so we got... We have Wii remotes,
but we don't have, like,
batteries for them.
Is it possible to, like,
order more batteries and stuff like that?
Do we need them today?
Uh, not necessarily today,
but, like, there are, like,
three Wii remotes and only one works,
and they're...
Brent, give me your honest opinion
of this fucking election.
Um... I'm disappointed.
You heard it here first, folks.
It's recording right now.
There we go.
We got Brent Lilly, Trump supporter.
Yeah.
If he can.
If we can.
Brent's cool with that, keeping that in.
If he can...
Yeah, and I saw trending on Twitter today, Cal Exit people...
Oh, California's fine.
Yeah.
Regardless of what happens, California's a good safe haven.
Yeah, no, I don't...
I'm wondering how much...
Prop 64 passed.
Yeah, it did.
Which legalizes recreational marijuana in California, which is cool now now now you know you don't have to go out and pay
Money to get a fucking card, but apparently what's not going into?
Brent
Where were those?
Did you actually go and find batteries? I was looking for these no there's a lot of them that don't need batteries
We do need batteries.
It wasn't a prank.
There's a difference between a prank and a ruse.
It was a ruse.
Love you, Brent.
Anyway, California wants to...
There's people that are like, I want to succeed.
They want to succeed? They should succeed.
They shouldn't succeed, though.
Succeed.
Man, you remember when South Carolina succeeded?
From the union?
Succeeded?
How do you succeed from something?
Uh,
I don't know.
But, real talk, though.
Do you, give me your opinion.
Do you think, you know, people are freaking out about Trump. Do you think You know people are Freaking out about Trump
Do you think he will
Actually be able to get
What he wants done
Okay wait hold on
Wall
Do you think the wall
Will happen
No
No
Definitely not
Do you think
That
Under his
Rule
Well here okay
Let me tell you
I can lay this out
Plain and simple
I'm just holding a
Handful of batteries
Hold on
Okay put them down
I think In terms of Getting stuff that he Wants done Not gonna happen I can lay this out plain and simple. I'm just holding a handful of batteries. Hold on. Okay, put them down.
I think in terms of getting stuff that he wants done, not going to happen.
In terms of stuff that the Republican Party wants to get done, will happen.
Because he's going to be used as their little puppet to pass stuff.
Right.
And what scares me is with the Supreme Court judges he wants to appoint.
I'm scared that, especially because there's a Republican House and Senate.
And I'm not generalizing that all republicans want this but i'm scared that they will try to return um overturn same-sex marriage you know yeah because donald trump says i think it should be left up to the states and and the
supreme court judges he wants to appoint are not in favor of same-sex marriage so i'm scared that
they will it's not a fuck it's it... Between a man and a woman, Ryan.
Jesus Christ.
What do they think?
What do they think?
Just a bunch of assholes are like,
no, you know what?
We're going to have sex in the buttholes
in our private time to piss you off.
Fuck you.
Like, no, you idiots.
Fuck off.
Jesus Christ.
And then it's like,
we're protecting our religion
your religion it's not affecting your religion
at all you're still you can still worship
God God will not be mad at you at all
it's it's perfectly fine
God was like yeah then he did drown a majority
of the planet you did do
that too
not just people but apparently the animals
were being wicked too Ryan
there were gay animals.
Fucking penguins.
Fucking gay ass bisexual bonobos.
Bonobos.
Bonobos.
I don't know how you say it.
I've heard people say bonobo and I've heard people say bonobo.
What's your favorite monkey?
Oh, rhesus monkeys are pretty cute.
What?
Rhesus monkeys.
Rhesus?
Yeah.
Like Reese's Pieces?
No, no, no.
R-H-E-E-S-U-S, I think. Wait no R-H-E-E-S-U-S
I think
Wait R-H-E-E
S-U-S
S-U-S
They're pretty cute
Reese's monkeys
They're really smart too
Oh those are
Oh those are like monkey monkeys
Like when you
Yeah
And then there's capuchin
Uh monkeys
Which are
Look at this one
He's smiling
Yeah that's why I love them
They're little furry funny monkeys
I love uh
I think gorillas are
Will always be my favorite Just because they're little furry funny monkeys i love uh i think gorillas are will always be my favorite
just because they're i here are my three favorite gorillas chimps and gibbons gibbons are pretty
funny they're creepy they're the ones that go oh and and same with uh howler monkeys i have a
cousin i actually uh i have part of my family lives in cost Rica, and my cousin, Forrest, he would tell me stories of, so they have a house that's right, it's not like in a, it's in a very rural area of Costa Rica.
Rural.
It's like a mile from the beach up on a mountainside.
He told me once that, you know, at like 4 a.m., the howler monkeys start going like, ah!
Ah!
Ah!
So like every morning at 4 a.m., they all start like screaming.
And he said that one time it was thunderstorming in the middle of the night and a monkey came up to his window to get dry.
And like he said something about like there's like a flash of lightning
and he could just see the monkey like looking in the window.
He's just peering in his window like did he cuz monkeys they're funny because they do human like shit
So I'm picturing this monkey
Looking at the window with his hands on his head through the glass
How cool would it be to live somewhere where there's monkeys everywhere and they'll just come up to your windows and shit
That'd be awesome. They're just like there's looking you just give them something they grab they know they like fucking grab it and run away yeah like he said he
said um he said that you know he'll go out on the back porch and there'll be one like right there
and it'll run away and like kind of like how a rabbit would be near the coast exactly but he's
like just monkeys and then i think they saw a uh a jaguar in their yard once too jaguar jaguar in their yard once too. Jaguar. Jaguar. I'm kidding. A nardwar in their front yard.
With his little beret and funny voice.
Scarf or whatever he wears.
Looking for the next musician to interview.
I wonder if he's interviewed Donald Trump.
I gotta look that up.
Has nardwar...
Why would he interview Donald Trump?
I don't know.
He's interviewed other celebrities.
Has nardwar interviewed Donald Trump?
It says... Check checking on that okay i
found this on the web okay for first thing that comes up from bing search donald trump has big
plans for radical islamic terrorists yep well that's what comes up doesn't he want to doesn't
he want to like put badges on muslims and refugees like kind of like similar to what germany did with the
jewish yeah but come on there is a problem i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm just saying isn't that
a thing that he wants to do he mentioned it i i believe i don't know how up to date uh that
policy still isn't if he still don't come to us for political facts go research we're just speaking
our minds don't don't be blind asshole idiots
and actually do research for yourself when it comes to political things don't do here let me
give you guys a hint do not listen to youtubers and people that you look up to for political
advice do your you know we have our own opinions we say our stuff at the end of the day there are
opinions you know please recognize them as that please recognize them as solely that whether
you're not advocating for
well, in a sense we are, but we're not
truly advocating for anything.
This is just where Ryan and I sit down and
we riff and we say what's on our mind and we talk
to each other. We're not trying to promote.
If you like Donald Trump, you're free to do that. Go ahead.
But, you know,
don't look to us for
political opinions or
advice. You can listen to us and you can scoff at what political opinions or advice just you can listen to us
and you can scoff at what we say or you can agree with it or laugh at it but regardless you know
we're not we're not trying to start a revolution here i was uh downtown um la this summer um and
i woke up at about 6 a.m you don't say i was going somewhere and i was walking down the street
downtown la i was walking down the street to a hippie little beat
and here's what I had to say.
I tried to burp but that
shouldn't be drinking this coke. I haven't had
alright anyway. I was walking down the street
and they were
Listen to a beat and here's what I have to say.
I was walking down the street
I'm not, nevermind I'm not saying it.
I was going my
route. I was going my route and I got a little boot and here's what I had to say.
I don't know.
You bought a fucking little boot.
I bought one boot?
Yeah.
One single boot?
A little one.
A tiny little one I can wear.
No, that you just carry around.
Okay.
I can, if I go to a soup kitchen, I can fill it with soup and have something to carry my
soup in.
You did what I did with a stopwatch except with a little boot. Like a little Build-A-Bear boot.
You put it on like a little necklace chain and wore it around your neck.
A little Build-A-Bear boot.
Build-A-Boots workshop.
Just go and make some boots.
Build-A-Boot, dude!
Let's go build some boots!
Anyway, there were posters all over the street
and hung up everywhere that morning for the radical,
or not radical, the Revolutionary Communist Party.
And they were talking about how they want to like start a revolution i think i posted a picture of
one on twitter but they were talking about how like they're ready to overthrow the government
at any moment now and and you know they need people to join their movement and and revolutionary
comments this isn't even the regular american communist party this is like the more radical
version so uh if any of you uh malleable young teens are looking for a new political party
to join, if you're disenlightened
by this election, consider
the Revolutionary
Communist Party.
No.
No.
Ryan.
Nah.
Yeah.
Nah.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with that.
You don't have to.
You don't have to if you don't want to. What? You don't have to if you don't want to. with that. You don't have to. You don't have to if you don't want to.
What?
You don't have to if you don't want to.
Do what?
You don't have to.
Join the revolution.
That party's a ripoff.
What if communists talked like that?
All of them.
All throughout history.
Is he a communist?
What's your name, sir?
Yep.
Let's get him.
Get him.
Stalin walks in.
That guy's Stalin.
It's Stalin here. And I'm here to say
I don't like gays, hooray
That wasn't even me clapping guys
You thought that was me clapping
That was me slapping my stupid white thighs
Monster cock on your thighs
Like a fucking pendulum
I got a segway Matt
Let me get on the segway with you buddy
Series of Unfortunate Events trailer came out last week.
You read the books, right?
I read up to the 10th one.
I really loved them.
What do you think of Neil Patrick Harris' Count Olaf?
I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt with this one.
Because when I heard Neil Patrick Harris was playing Count Olaf, I was like, come on.
Can't they get an old, famous actor?
Someone good that seems like they'd fit the
role. But then when I saw the trailer
and I saw the makeup and everything, I thought he didn't look that bad.
I thought that maybe he... I like Jim
Carey's tall presence. I always pictured
Count Olaf as tall. I mean, he's
illustrated as pretty tall, I think. Yeah.
I called Nick
Canons Olaf. I don't know
why I was about to say that.
Nick Cave and the Bad Olafs.
But Neil Patrick Harris' Olaf is just tiny Olaf.
Just little mean Olaf.
Little tiny Olaf.
Little mean man.
Little mean.
I am going to.
It looks very well shot, though.
Oh, yeah.
It looks nice. So I will be watching it when it comes on because I love that as a kid.
So I am excited to see where it goes
because I thought when they made the first series of
Unfortunate Events movies I thought it was going to be like a
Harry Potter type series it was going to be popular
and they were going to make a movie for every three
books and it wasn't they made one and then
yeah bombed well did it bomb
all I know is
I was one of those
kids that was just
nothing happened in the book!
Ah!
In the middle of the theater.
Every time something happened, I wouldn't exclaim, that didn't happen, just, ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I hear a ringing sound.
No.
Wait, that was your phone?
No, no, I, okay, okay, give me, give me. Why haven't you turned off your fucking phone? I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. Shut sound. No. Wait, that was your phone? No, no, I... Okay, okay, give me...
Why haven't you turned off your fucking phone?
I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did.
No, what do you mean you didn't?
Shut the fuck up.
How did it go off?
I muted my phone, and then when I had to ask Siri something, I turned the volume back on.
And then I forgot to turn it back off.
Okay.
Okay.
Fine.
Here, here's something to talk about.
We were driving to work the other day.
Had my window down.
We drove past a very popular outdoor um area and what were they doing ryan they were playing christmas music out
loud yeah i like it i don't mind i don't think i love i don't have a problem with christmas coming
early because i love the christmas season we're gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles yeah
we are god we sound so gay are we gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles? Yeah, we are. God, we sound so gay. Are we gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles?
Fuck! No, I'm not calling
you gay. I'm just saying...
Did you just put a, like, a
negative connotation on gay?
No, not at all. Whoa, look at us. We're
gay. We're not normal.
Uh, no, it's just that, you know, those
kids like to take that shit and run with it.
They're talking about buying candles.
They're so cute. We're gonna go to build a
candle workshop and make our own apple cinnamon candles.
But I don't have a problem with Christmas coming
early. How about gays? With
gays coming early? Gay people that have
premature ejaculation problems? Yeah.
Here's the thing. I don't have a problem with it.
It just feels weird for me if I start listening to
Christmas music early. It always
comes off at first because we just got done talking
about gay people
a little bit like a slight comment also you're like it doesn't bother me too much i'm talking
about christmas coming early not gay people coming coming early um yeah but i don't mind if it comes
early i just like um i like christmas i like christmas music um it's a good time of year
it's a happy time of year it's it's the of the year. Everything's wrapping up. It's like that time of year where white people in the South go out of their way to shake the hand of a black person.
Yes, that is the perfect way to describe it.
I started watching Stranger Things.
Is it good?
It's really good.
I only have two more episodes left.
Really?
I watched probably the first five minutes, and I don't know.
I don't think I gave it a fair chance.
I watched it, and I don't think I was just in the right mood think I gave it a fair chance. I watched it and I was, I don't
think I was just in the right mood to watch it that day.
It gives me that fun Spielberg vibe.
Fuck, I bought a Netflix account and I haven't
used it once. Why did you buy? I have one.
We can just share. Yeah, I don't.
Shit.
I gotta cancel that. I'm being charged every month.
Cancel it and you can use, I have an account called Freeloaders
that you can use. I know, I've used your Freeloaders account
before. Who's that? Vernon.
Vernon again?
Yep.
I don't know what he's doing.
Should I yell Vernon sucks?
Nah.
Yeah, I'm a bit late.
I'm always late to the party because when something's very popular,
it's like I don't want to watch it because I don't want to be in that group of people
that's constantly talking about it.
I kind of just want to have it on my own time.
So I usually wait till time passes and the fads gone.
And then I do like I watch it by myself.
I don't know.
It's this weird thing where I don't have to like see a bunch of Reddit posts and stuff about it.
It's like that's out of the way.
It's not on the rise anymore.
And I can just enjoy it without having to get into the hype because it's
easy for me to get into the hype of things because i did it with breaking bad and my mind was always
on fuck like it was always like oh what's gonna happen it gets too much in my mind yeah exactly i
get too excited to it's a fun feeling though i remember breaking bad gave me some really good
memories um just like not the show itself but just like the whole um going to fucking reddit
and like yeah spoiling Breaking Bad
I did spoil it for myself
You did a big spoiler
Yeah but I actually I did that recently
The way late to the train
With One Punch Man cause I've never seen it
And I watched it for the first time recently
And it was fucking amazing and I watched
All 12 episodes in a matter of a few days
Weeb
I'm not a weeb Ryan
Aaron bought you a fucking Gundam.
He bought you something from Japan, too.
No.
Yes, you talked about it earlier on the podcast.
But it's a big monkey.
And this is a big robot.
Fucking weeb.
I'd like to see Donkey Kong fighting a Gundam.
Take it back.
Take it back.
I didn't mean to say it, Ryan.
Take it back.
I don't want to see Donkey Kong fighting a Gundam.
I'm going to take a sip of this Coke.
You want to wrap up this diddly dang podcast?
Yeah, I'm upset.
This political clusterfuck podcast?
Let me just...
This podcast represents how this whole year went.
How this whole fucking election went.
Just a mess.
Sloppy.
It made you laugh.
I'm sad it's over. It made you just mad.
I'm a little sad.
It's over because it was the fun's over.
It was the most fun, entertaining election I've ever seen.
And now it's just a hard, cold truth.
Yeah.
And it's just reality.
And it's fuck.
You and I, you and I kind of came to the conclusion that this felt like the season finale of a TV show.
And all of a sudden it's just kind of like, it's like one of those things
where like the election was happening, this is the final episode
and all of a sudden it's like, what the fuck is going on?
What? What? Like you're like
looking at your TV. And now we gotta wait
for January for the next season to start.
Yep, so we'll see. It's like
when people are talking about
TV shows, they say, how
are they gonna bring it back next season?
What are they gonna do like that type
of thing I don't know where it's gonna go from here
this is one of the first times in my life where
I have actually been like I don't know where it's
gonna go from here it can either just
get really bad or you know
just kind of stay the course
oh so you're saying it can't get really good with Donald
Trump as president come on give the
man some credit I don't think
it could be really good for certain people that I support.
So, no.
Yep.
Exactly.
And it makes me sad, to be honest.
But anyway, guys, this is a political podcast.
Yay, politics.
And the president of the United States of America is Donald Trump.