supermegashow - EP 26 - President Donald J. Trump

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

Trump. It happened. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:38 a flat fish show please make good as a mcmuffin and a large coffee a hamburger cheeseburger hot brown hot cakes vanilla cone shake and a hot coffee, a hamburger, cheeseburger, hash brown, hotcakes, vanilla cone shake, and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Welcome to the Super Mega Podcast. I'm Ryan McGee. I'm Matt Watson. And Matt, you want to take the reins on this one? Absolutely, Ryan. Okay. I would like to announce the 45th President of the United States of America, Mr. Donald J. Trump.
Starting point is 00:01:41 The man, the legend, the god, Donald Trump, everybody! Yes! We don't like getting super political on this podcast, but this is different. This is... America has elected Donald Trump as their next president. I never thought I would be saying those words. President Trump.
Starting point is 00:01:59 President Donald Trump. Oh, guys, come off it. He's gonna make America great again. You're just biased liberals. No, I'm not even a liberal. Who are you? I don't know what I am, actually. Are you a libertarian? No, I'm not a libertarian.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Are you a Green Party member? I'm not a Green Partier. Are you a cunt? I'm a cunt. Yeah. I'm part of the cunt party. Grab him by the cunt. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:02:23 It's just shocking to me that after such a disastrous campaign losing every debate you know that's the thing that surprises me so we lost all three debates and then what basically i paid attention to florida because usually whoever wins florida will uh eventually you know since i think it was since 1992 florida's pretty much whoever florida's voted for has become president so So Florida was a big thing to look at And then of course Pennsylvania and Virginia A bunch of the swing states as well But Florida was the big one
Starting point is 00:02:53 You and I were just Florida was counting the votes and we were just like It went blue I was watching it as it switched blue and then red And I think it switched to blue again It went back and forth a few times It went back to blue for a while and then it went to red and he led by just
Starting point is 00:03:08 a little tiny bit. And then just started those other those mid states started coming in. Then he got Texas? Yep. But she got California New York of course. I mean I mean I don't think that's a surprise. No. California New York will always be blue. I don't I can't
Starting point is 00:03:24 see a situation where those would be red. Yesterday, I will always remember. I will always fucking remember. Just hearing the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Fuck. Fucking damn it. Oh, they did it. He's probably just like, oh, you fucking idiots. God damn it. Shit. He doesn't get to have any fun anymore. He's gonna be president. The rest of his life will be stressful as shit. I know. There's no room for fun
Starting point is 00:03:54 now with Donald Trump. Then you're like, oh, yeah? Well, why did Obama play basketball? Here's the thing. Donald Trump, you know, he's gotten everything he's ever wanted in his life. He's, what, four to five billion dollars net worth. He's 70 years old. He's an old man.
Starting point is 00:04:09 This could have been the perfect time. He could have retired, never worked another day, never made another deal, just relax until he checks out. But now he's been assigned with the most stressful job on the planet, being the president of one of the biggest countries in the world. One of the biggest world superpowers. Now he is the leader of that. Donald Trump. The host of The Apprentice.
Starting point is 00:04:29 The fucking orange man. You have to think about this, Matt. Think about this hard, okay? I'm thinking hard. About the words that I'm about to say. Alright. For the rest of his life, his title will be President Donald J. Trump. Mr. President.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Mr. President. For the rest of his life. Trump. Mr. President. Mr. President. For the rest of, when he's out of office, for the rest of his life, it's Mr. President. He's gained that. A man who's gotten, as you said, everything he's ever wanted in his life. I don't know. Whatever. Whatever. It's happened.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo. Cry, cry, cry. It's set in stone now. There's no going back. Hillary Clinton shit her pants last night. And Donald Trump is going to be the next president. So that's Jesus Christ. I am.
Starting point is 00:05:13 I will admit, though, there are a few things that, you know, try to look at the brighter side of every situation. Here are a few things we can take from this. Maybe, you know, like 14-year-olds on the internet can complain about something that actually matters now. Yeah. They can complain about real issues. And also, I feel like whatever, it'll be a very exciting, interesting four years. It'll be shitty and a lot of progress will be undone. But it will be.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Maybe. Hopefully not. Because the thing is, they won the house and the senate as well yeah not too much of a surprise that's why i'm saying a lot of progress uh when it comes to like social stuff can be undone very easily with this situation now but um whatever happens it's going to be an interesting and honestly funny and exciting to watch debacle because you know I guarantee I don't know maybe he now that he's going to be president maybe he's going to completely change his role and be very presidential and that
Starting point is 00:06:14 was all just to win the fucking campaign maybe loud obnoxious and he only got the elect last night so I don't know what's going to go but if he if he continues to be the Donald Trump that the world has gotten to know then his four years the donald trump that he's been his entire fucking life yes uh then the next four years will be quite the shit storm entertaining oh it'll be super entertaining it'll be and that's all that american politics are it's entertainment it
Starting point is 00:06:41 doesn't fucking matter it's all entertainment that's why I think like when 2020 comes, it's like the it's like a movie. The Democratic Party Trump is going for Trump is going for a second term and the only way to stop him is with the same amount of crazy Kanye West If 2020
Starting point is 00:07:02 is Trump versus Kanye West Oh God. I will be convinced that I'm in a coma. And this is a crazy dream. Nice. Thank you. But, God, I mean, that's pretty much all I have to say about Trump. It's an embarrassment, more of anything, you know, to other countries, to the rest of the world. It's an embarrassment.
Starting point is 00:07:22 It's almost like this dirty billionaire car salesman won the presidency. The best steaks in the world. And then people are going to get upset when we fucking name-call Donald Trump, even though that's the game he's been playing this whole fucking campaign. So I swear to God, do not turn around and say,
Starting point is 00:07:38 stop making fun of him. Stop calling him names. That's how he ran his fucking campaign. He bullied people yeah He got to where he was with a loud mouth And it worked And it worked And I mean he knows the rules
Starting point is 00:07:51 He knows the rules of entertainment And that went in his advantage But we've been talking about this for a while We've been talking about this for a while now Yeah I mean there's nothing we can do Sit back for the next four years Relax and just let President Trump Take our country
Starting point is 00:08:05 in whatever direction he takes it. So all the crying's out of the way, all the boo-hoo, fucking let's hold hands and blah, blah. It'll be a good four years for comedy. South Park, Saturday Night Live, they're going to have a, they have, they're happy, the writers, because now they have material for the next four years. The Daily Show, they're all set. Yeah. Turn off your cell phone, Matt.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Sorry, I've. You talk about me, touching the mics, and you always leave your fucking cell phone on yeah it's my it's i'm sorry it's my sister calling me here did she just find out she just i actually i had to break the news to my mom this morning um because she hasn't like she she's just stressed out she doesn't like either one she doesn't mean she doesn't want to see it so i texted her i was like i'm disappointed she's like and what and i'm like president trump and she was like no way what and i was like yeah mom president trump so but if you followed throughout the night it was almost like he's gonna do it he's he he's he was in the lead for almost the whole time because you and i were looking at the polls from the beginning. Yeah, all day.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Once they actually started to announce it and my eyes were glued to the phone. I thought that she would, I thought, you know, like those early states were coming in, you know, it was like Kentucky and I think it was Tennessee or something. I thought, I don't remember what states, but they were, you know, red states. So I'm like, oh,
Starting point is 00:09:21 of course he's in the lead right now because those just wait for the rest of the country to come in. And all of a sudden I thought he was just going to get knocked out. Yeah, but holy shit. He got Donald Trump. You gotta, Jesus Christ, it's impressive. It is impressive how he managed to do this. Chris Chan. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Oh, yeah. Can we really talk about that, though? Chris Chan, everyone's favorite. He made a tweet like, someone needs to get a sniper rifle and shoot donald trump in his head but then this morning they put it on info wars and if you don't know what info wars is info wars is alex alex jones's website they got water turning the freaking frogs gay that guy so yeah he's he's psychotic but info wars is probably the one site I would never trust.
Starting point is 00:10:07 If I had to pick one site to be the least trustworthy news source, it'd be InfoWars. It's like a big conspiracy theory site. But Chris Chan tweeted out that he wanted someone to snipe Donald Trump in the head. And InfoWars put it on their website. So seeing Chris Chan and InfoWars, the past 24 hours you know we see donald trump nothing's real it's all a simulation it's not real glenn beck said that obama made him a better man and he's a supporter of black lives matter now info wars and chris chan on one little one little thing together donald j trump as president of the United States of America?
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Starting point is 00:11:59 You say I want a revolution. Well, you know, we i want to change the world after after everything that's happened in my life in the past two years nothing will surprise me like there's so many curveballs it's to what the fuck what is life what is life where is laughter is confused and the sky's getting heavy tonight i want to to know, I want to know tonight. I'm trying to pick up on what song that was. I was squeezing out some farts. Yeah, I could. Just think about it, guys.
Starting point is 00:12:30 We could have had President Dr. Ben Carson. And you threw it all away for Donald Trump. He's a brain surgeon. Come on! He's the only one on that stage who had performed a neuroscopy. I don't know. I just made that word up. It sounds like something.oscopy yeah I'm
Starting point is 00:12:47 surprised how close Jill Stein came to you know defeating Donald Trump every other candidate with a whole point nine percent of the yep or Daryl Castle of the constitutionalist party oh yeah by the way we got gifts because
Starting point is 00:13:00 Aaron got us stuff from Japan and okay I'm so fucking jazzed about this. He got me the Nintendo, like, the original Super Nintendo. The SNES, yeah. Yeah. The Super Famicom in Japan. He got me the Donkey Kong Country, like, originally wrapped, like, from 1994. Yeah, it's unopened.
Starting point is 00:13:21 It's in the plastic wrap still. I'm not opening that shit. Don't open it, because that is... Not even don't open it like, because it's like you could sell it one day. Don't open it because it's just like, it's novel. It's like a piece of time. And it's just so, it's a big part of my childhood. Just boom.
Starting point is 00:13:35 It's my favorite. I like to think about things this way. Every memory that's ever happened in your life, that game has been the exact same in that box. And then like, you know, that's weird. Like when you find a penny from like 1940 or 50, it's like, think about all the historical events that have happened. All this penny has existed in someone's pocket.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Just like a time lapse with the penny in center frame and just fast forwarding like a year every five seconds. To make like a video about like a penny from 1920. Yeah. Like a wheat penny or something. And then just like a time lapse like a you know some well-shot thing of the penny and just showing all these historical things like like you know the guy drops the change on the counter and the tv in the background has some like news event like
Starting point is 00:14:14 kennedy assassination and like all the way up through 9-11 and then like trump being elected that would be a great way to intro a movie and like tell kind of like tell the history of something just following like a piece of a dollar bill or some shit like that that would be really cool that's what's cool about money is you know you can use it for cinematic where were you going any given you know most coins
Starting point is 00:14:36 like if I get changed usually you know they're from the 90s they're from the early 2000s stuff like that it's just it's cool to me how long coins stay in circulation. How, not so much dollars because most money nowadays is pretty current because dollars, like the designs actually changed. They changed over a few decades.
Starting point is 00:14:55 And whenever I see an old $10 bill from like the 90s or 80s or something, you can tell because the design is different. And I remember when I worked at Chick-fil-A, someone would give me an old $10, $20 bill that has a different design. I remember the first time I saw one, I was like, whoa, is this fake? My favorite thing to come out was
Starting point is 00:15:15 the blue strip 20. No, the 100, right? It was the $100 bill. Are you sure? When we first got when we first got When we first got Yeah I remember The first time I saw one
Starting point is 00:15:28 As a cashier I was like surprised It looked cool Yeah it looks futuristic It's much harder to counterfeit You know what That's another thing America's money sucks
Starting point is 00:15:38 It's so boring Compared to other countries I'm not trying to sound All like But have you ever Like held like Canadian dollars Or like Mexican We used to have a bunch of cool stuff we used to have the 50 cent we used to have the dollar coin i know i don't i don't that's way too much to produce though i mean yeah but
Starting point is 00:15:55 other countries have some like japan like their their coins are rings like they have a hole in the center that's cool and then i don't know i think it's afghanistan uh i don't know anymore but they used to have these really cool coins that were like weird shapes and stuff. And I don't know. I love the designs of money. I used to be really into it when I was back in high school. And I used to like, really nerdy, but I used
Starting point is 00:16:16 to design my own dollars and coins and stuff for like, not any specific country. I just thought the designs of coins and stuff were really cool because i used to collect them i have a really big coin collection and like currency collection with dollars from other countries and stuff and i don't know american money just looks so old and boring when you compare it to like these vibrant things with like clear like dollar bills that have
Starting point is 00:16:39 parts that are completely clear on them and all these like other countries that have cool animals and shit on theirs and we just got these these old white dudes just with very disapproving well give us a little bit of credit i mean you're not giving what about the quarters you have the big map where you can collect all the state quarters and they all have different design no that is cool that's cool that is definitely cool i i had one of those maps and you just placed them in the little circles of each state oh i did too i got I got a lot of the way there. But I remember when I had mine, they hadn't released all the states yet when I was doing it with my grandma. Same, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:11 So I never finished it because, I don't know, they hadn't released all the states. So I just kind of lost interest. But Australia did the same thing, I think, with their coins. I think they put a bunch of different animals, like a ton of different animals on their coins. I think they had like one coin. The Madagascar animals. They had Alex the Lion. Alex the Lion.
Starting point is 00:17:30 God, what would you do if they just changed the design of our currency to be Madagascar themed? With Donald Trump with his arm around all of it? I would, it wouldn't surprise me anymore. After everything that's happening, it's like, oh, I'm not shocked. Wow. Everyone on Twitter would freak out about it. It'd be trending, and then it would be a completely normal thing. Isn't he going to slick his hair back, Donald Trump?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yeah, he mentioned, I read something. I don't remember where I read it, but he said that if he's elected president, he's going to ditch the goofy hairstyle and slick his hair back. Is that what he said? I'm going to ditch this goofy hairstyle. I don't think he used those exact words. He said, I'm'm gonna ditch my ridiculous penis looking haircut. Penis looking? He looks like a penis from certain angles. What?
Starting point is 00:18:09 From front, it's cause it's like, it's just this weird like, I was looking at a picture of him last night. Do you have a toupee on your cock? Does hair grow from the tip of your penis? Ryan, you're acting like that's not normal. And Ryan legitimately, there's his penis. Ryan, put that away. Stop stretching it. Does it look like there's Ryan put that away Stop stretching it
Starting point is 00:18:26 Does it look like there's hair on that Does it look like there's hair on that No there's no hair on your penis Hair or no hair Hair or no hair look No hair Ryan That's what I thought I made direct eye contact with
Starting point is 00:18:41 Your urethra Wow That's the first time I've made direct eye contact with the hole in your penis. Yeah. The meatus, I believe. Your dad is crying. My dad's just listening to this. He's sobbing.
Starting point is 00:18:54 I'm bad-mouthing Trump and then looking at another man's penis and commenting on it all in one podcast. No, my boy. My dad and my conservative family are just, oh, no. He moved to Southern California. I knew this would happen. I do have that side of, a lot of people have that side of their family. It seems like everyone has a side of their family that's very conservative. They have like a conservative countryside.
Starting point is 00:19:17 We grew up in the South. Of course we would. Maybe that is just us because we grew up in the South. It kind of makes sense when you think about it. Yeah. Also, when we went to area 51 uh nevada i'm sorry nevada nevada when we went to nevada um for our area 51 escapade it opened my eyes because i've never been out in the the midwest in the desert before
Starting point is 00:19:41 and it opened my eyes that the midwest is, that area is very similar to the deep South. Oh yeah. I'd never realized that. Same with Northern California in some places because it's very rural. Yeah. I hate that word. It's a fucking awful word. We're talking about this in the car the other night.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Rural. Rural. It's a hard word to say. It's uncomfortable. Just doesn't roll. It doesn't roll around your mouth very well. Unlike the N word. It's uncomfortable, but it's not a hard word to say.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Yeah. I just had to say it in my mind a few times to... It's a bad word, though. Yeah, it's a very bad word. Pretty bad word. You shouldn't use it. You should never say that word. Unless you're making a hilarious joke around your white friends, then it's alright.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Yeah, what are good words that just feel... Let's get some positivity going, Ryan. What are some nice words that just feel nice coming out of the mouth? Plump. Plump. That is... Plump. Trump.
Starting point is 00:20:35 No. No. No! You ruined it! Plump Trump. You fucking ruined it, dude! Fuck you! I like the word caterpillar.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Caterpillar's good. Caterpillar. It just rolls around the mouth and slips There's another word we're talking about in the car. That was like really good. What the fuck was that? peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter I like a jelly Hippopotamus hip, oh, that's a good word don't like spelling it. Oh, I can't hold on How do you spell hippopotamus h-i-p? It's these words when there's just random extra. Yes
Starting point is 00:21:01 Hold on, how do you spell hypoponymous? H-I-P... It's these words when there's just random extra... D-A-N-A-N-A-S. There's random extra, like, double consonants for no reason. I never understood in English, why do they randomly have two letters sometimes? For words like... I get it if it's like a harder sound, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense. For example?
Starting point is 00:21:20 Mississippi? Vernon? Is that Vernon? Yeah. Vernon, shut the fuck up! Stupid fucking liberal. Oh, is he coming in? Is he coming in?
Starting point is 00:21:33 Oh, there he is. There he is. Hey, Vernon. Hey. What's up? That was him, not me, Vernon. No, I didn't say anything. Vernon, come here.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Vernon. Vernon, get in here. What, what? Can we get a live reaction Of Vernon Shaw of the 2016 Speaking of the mic buddy Presidential election Well I kind of want to talk about
Starting point is 00:21:52 How you guys are just ruining me right there That was him that was him That was not me I was like doing work man What did he say You told me to shut the fuck up Then he called you a dirty liberal. I know I did.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And truth be told, like, that hurts to hear from him. Well, then ignore him. It's just me here. You didn't hear anything? No, Vernon, it's just me here. Yeah, well... What do you think of last night? Well, I don't think anything right now because I'm just really sad.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Why would Matt do that to me? God damn it, Matt. We had the chance to get Vernon to bad mouth I'm sorry okay I admit I'm wrong if you start smelling eggs that's me I fart I farted cool I got work to do but you guys have fun with whatever the hell you're doing about the election I love you both he doesn't want to share his opinion here first Vernon shot Trump. He's shaking his head. We made him mad. Yeah, but anyway. Let's call Brent in here. Brent, we need to ask you a question.
Starting point is 00:22:53 You want to get Brent in here? No, no, no. Wait, wait. Let's stage it to be like, ask him something about like, let's find something in here to ask him a question about. And then let's just think of something. Like secretly? Yeah, secretly. Go ask him and I'll and then let's just think of something. Like secretly? Yeah, secretly. Go ask him and I'll direct the mic towards him.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Okay. I don't know what I'm going to do. No, no, no. I just farted though. It's on the opposite side of the room. Okay, so we got, we have Wii remotes but we don't have like batteries fired them. It's on the opposite side of the room. Okay, so we got... We have Wii remotes, but we don't have, like, batteries for them.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Is it possible to, like, order more batteries and stuff like that? Do we need them today? Uh, not necessarily today, but, like, there are, like, three Wii remotes and only one works, and they're... Brent, give me your honest opinion
Starting point is 00:23:41 of this fucking election. Um... I'm disappointed. You heard it here first, folks. It's recording right now. There we go. We got Brent Lilly, Trump supporter. Yeah. If he can.
Starting point is 00:24:02 If we can. Brent's cool with that, keeping that in. If he can... Yeah, and I saw trending on Twitter today, Cal Exit people... Oh, California's fine. Yeah. Regardless of what happens, California's a good safe haven. Yeah, no, I don't...
Starting point is 00:24:19 I'm wondering how much... Prop 64 passed. Yeah, it did. Which legalizes recreational marijuana in California, which is cool now now now you know you don't have to go out and pay Money to get a fucking card, but apparently what's not going into? Brent Where were those? Did you actually go and find batteries? I was looking for these no there's a lot of them that don't need batteries
Starting point is 00:24:44 We do need batteries. It wasn't a prank. There's a difference between a prank and a ruse. It was a ruse. Love you, Brent. Anyway, California wants to... There's people that are like, I want to succeed. They want to succeed? They should succeed.
Starting point is 00:25:04 They shouldn't succeed, though. Succeed. Man, you remember when South Carolina succeeded? From the union? Succeeded? How do you succeed from something? Uh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:18 But, real talk, though. Do you, give me your opinion. Do you think, you know, people are freaking out about Trump. Do you think You know people are Freaking out about Trump Do you think he will Actually be able to get What he wants done Okay wait hold on Wall
Starting point is 00:25:30 Do you think the wall Will happen No No Definitely not Do you think That Under his
Starting point is 00:25:37 Rule Well here okay Let me tell you I can lay this out Plain and simple I'm just holding a Handful of batteries Hold on
Starting point is 00:25:43 Okay put them down I think In terms of Getting stuff that he Wants done Not gonna happen I can lay this out plain and simple. I'm just holding a handful of batteries. Hold on. Okay, put them down. I think in terms of getting stuff that he wants done, not going to happen. In terms of stuff that the Republican Party wants to get done, will happen. Because he's going to be used as their little puppet to pass stuff. Right. And what scares me is with the Supreme Court judges he wants to appoint. I'm scared that, especially because there's a Republican House and Senate.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And I'm not generalizing that all republicans want this but i'm scared that they will try to return um overturn same-sex marriage you know yeah because donald trump says i think it should be left up to the states and and the supreme court judges he wants to appoint are not in favor of same-sex marriage so i'm scared that they will it's not a fuck it's it... Between a man and a woman, Ryan. Jesus Christ. What do they think? What do they think? Just a bunch of assholes are like, no, you know what?
Starting point is 00:26:34 We're going to have sex in the buttholes in our private time to piss you off. Fuck you. Like, no, you idiots. Fuck off. Jesus Christ. And then it's like, we're protecting our religion
Starting point is 00:26:46 your religion it's not affecting your religion at all you're still you can still worship God God will not be mad at you at all it's it's perfectly fine God was like yeah then he did drown a majority of the planet you did do that too not just people but apparently the animals
Starting point is 00:27:02 were being wicked too Ryan there were gay animals. Fucking penguins. Fucking gay ass bisexual bonobos. Bonobos. Bonobos. I don't know how you say it. I've heard people say bonobo and I've heard people say bonobo.
Starting point is 00:27:15 What's your favorite monkey? Oh, rhesus monkeys are pretty cute. What? Rhesus monkeys. Rhesus? Yeah. Like Reese's Pieces? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:27:24 R-H-E-E-S-U-S, I think. Wait no R-H-E-E-S-U-S I think Wait R-H-E-E S-U-S S-U-S They're pretty cute Reese's monkeys They're really smart too
Starting point is 00:27:31 Oh those are Oh those are like monkey monkeys Like when you Yeah And then there's capuchin Uh monkeys Which are Look at this one
Starting point is 00:27:38 He's smiling Yeah that's why I love them They're little furry funny monkeys I love uh I think gorillas are Will always be my favorite Just because they're little furry funny monkeys i love uh i think gorillas are will always be my favorite just because they're i here are my three favorite gorillas chimps and gibbons gibbons are pretty funny they're creepy they're the ones that go oh and and same with uh howler monkeys i have a
Starting point is 00:27:59 cousin i actually uh i have part of my family lives in cost Rica, and my cousin, Forrest, he would tell me stories of, so they have a house that's right, it's not like in a, it's in a very rural area of Costa Rica. Rural. It's like a mile from the beach up on a mountainside. He told me once that, you know, at like 4 a.m., the howler monkeys start going like, ah! Ah! Ah! So like every morning at 4 a.m., they all start like screaming. And he said that one time it was thunderstorming in the middle of the night and a monkey came up to his window to get dry.
Starting point is 00:28:37 And like he said something about like there's like a flash of lightning and he could just see the monkey like looking in the window. He's just peering in his window like did he cuz monkeys they're funny because they do human like shit So I'm picturing this monkey Looking at the window with his hands on his head through the glass How cool would it be to live somewhere where there's monkeys everywhere and they'll just come up to your windows and shit That'd be awesome. They're just like there's looking you just give them something they grab they know they like fucking grab it and run away yeah like he said he said um he said that you know he'll go out on the back porch and there'll be one like right there
Starting point is 00:29:12 and it'll run away and like kind of like how a rabbit would be near the coast exactly but he's like just monkeys and then i think they saw a uh a jaguar in their yard once too jaguar jaguar in their yard once too. Jaguar. Jaguar. I'm kidding. A nardwar in their front yard. With his little beret and funny voice. Scarf or whatever he wears. Looking for the next musician to interview. I wonder if he's interviewed Donald Trump. I gotta look that up. Has nardwar...
Starting point is 00:29:37 Why would he interview Donald Trump? I don't know. He's interviewed other celebrities. Has nardwar interviewed Donald Trump? It says... Check checking on that okay i found this on the web okay for first thing that comes up from bing search donald trump has big plans for radical islamic terrorists yep well that's what comes up doesn't he want to doesn't he want to like put badges on muslims and refugees like kind of like similar to what germany did with the
Starting point is 00:30:06 jewish yeah but come on there is a problem i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm just saying isn't that a thing that he wants to do he mentioned it i i believe i don't know how up to date uh that policy still isn't if he still don't come to us for political facts go research we're just speaking our minds don't don't be blind asshole idiots and actually do research for yourself when it comes to political things don't do here let me give you guys a hint do not listen to youtubers and people that you look up to for political advice do your you know we have our own opinions we say our stuff at the end of the day there are opinions you know please recognize them as that please recognize them as solely that whether
Starting point is 00:30:44 you're not advocating for well, in a sense we are, but we're not truly advocating for anything. This is just where Ryan and I sit down and we riff and we say what's on our mind and we talk to each other. We're not trying to promote. If you like Donald Trump, you're free to do that. Go ahead. But, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:59 don't look to us for political opinions or advice. You can listen to us and you can scoff at what political opinions or advice just you can listen to us and you can scoff at what we say or you can agree with it or laugh at it but regardless you know we're not we're not trying to start a revolution here i was uh downtown um la this summer um and i woke up at about 6 a.m you don't say i was going somewhere and i was walking down the street downtown la i was walking down the street to a hippie little beat and here's what I had to say.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I tried to burp but that shouldn't be drinking this coke. I haven't had alright anyway. I was walking down the street and they were Listen to a beat and here's what I have to say. I was walking down the street I'm not, nevermind I'm not saying it. I was going my
Starting point is 00:31:43 route. I was going my route and I got a little boot and here's what I had to say. I don't know. You bought a fucking little boot. I bought one boot? Yeah. One single boot? A little one. A tiny little one I can wear.
Starting point is 00:31:55 No, that you just carry around. Okay. I can, if I go to a soup kitchen, I can fill it with soup and have something to carry my soup in. You did what I did with a stopwatch except with a little boot. Like a little Build-A-Bear boot. You put it on like a little necklace chain and wore it around your neck. A little Build-A-Bear boot. Build-A-Boots workshop.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Just go and make some boots. Build-A-Boot, dude! Let's go build some boots! Anyway, there were posters all over the street and hung up everywhere that morning for the radical, or not radical, the Revolutionary Communist Party. And they were talking about how they want to like start a revolution i think i posted a picture of one on twitter but they were talking about how like they're ready to overthrow the government
Starting point is 00:32:31 at any moment now and and you know they need people to join their movement and and revolutionary comments this isn't even the regular american communist party this is like the more radical version so uh if any of you uh malleable young teens are looking for a new political party to join, if you're disenlightened by this election, consider the Revolutionary Communist Party. No.
Starting point is 00:32:55 No. Ryan. Nah. Yeah. Nah. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to.
Starting point is 00:33:04 You don't have to if you don't want to. What? You don't have to if you don't want to. with that. You don't have to. You don't have to if you don't want to. What? You don't have to if you don't want to. Do what? You don't have to. Join the revolution. That party's a ripoff. What if communists talked like that?
Starting point is 00:33:14 All of them. All throughout history. Is he a communist? What's your name, sir? Yep. Let's get him. Get him. Stalin walks in.
Starting point is 00:33:23 That guy's Stalin. It's Stalin here. And I'm here to say I don't like gays, hooray That wasn't even me clapping guys You thought that was me clapping That was me slapping my stupid white thighs Monster cock on your thighs Like a fucking pendulum
Starting point is 00:33:39 I got a segway Matt Let me get on the segway with you buddy Series of Unfortunate Events trailer came out last week. You read the books, right? I read up to the 10th one. I really loved them. What do you think of Neil Patrick Harris' Count Olaf? I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt with this one.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Because when I heard Neil Patrick Harris was playing Count Olaf, I was like, come on. Can't they get an old, famous actor? Someone good that seems like they'd fit the role. But then when I saw the trailer and I saw the makeup and everything, I thought he didn't look that bad. I thought that maybe he... I like Jim Carey's tall presence. I always pictured Count Olaf as tall. I mean, he's
Starting point is 00:34:17 illustrated as pretty tall, I think. Yeah. I called Nick Canons Olaf. I don't know why I was about to say that. Nick Cave and the Bad Olafs. But Neil Patrick Harris' Olaf is just tiny Olaf. Just little mean Olaf. Little tiny Olaf.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Little mean man. Little mean. I am going to. It looks very well shot, though. Oh, yeah. It looks nice. So I will be watching it when it comes on because I love that as a kid. So I am excited to see where it goes because I thought when they made the first series of
Starting point is 00:34:47 Unfortunate Events movies I thought it was going to be like a Harry Potter type series it was going to be popular and they were going to make a movie for every three books and it wasn't they made one and then yeah bombed well did it bomb all I know is I was one of those kids that was just
Starting point is 00:35:03 nothing happened in the book! Ah! In the middle of the theater. Every time something happened, I wouldn't exclaim, that didn't happen, just, ah! Ah! Ah! I hear a ringing sound. No.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Wait, that was your phone? No, no, I, okay, okay, give me, give me. Why haven't you turned off your fucking phone? I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. Shut sound. No. Wait, that was your phone? No, no, I... Okay, okay, give me... Why haven't you turned off your fucking phone? I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. No, what do you mean you didn't? Shut the fuck up. How did it go off? I muted my phone, and then when I had to ask Siri something, I turned the volume back on.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And then I forgot to turn it back off. Okay. Okay. Fine. Here, here's something to talk about. We were driving to work the other day. Had my window down. We drove past a very popular outdoor um area and what were they doing ryan they were playing christmas music out
Starting point is 00:35:52 loud yeah i like it i don't mind i don't think i love i don't have a problem with christmas coming early because i love the christmas season we're gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles yeah we are god we sound so gay are we gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles? Yeah, we are. God, we sound so gay. Are we gonna start getting apple cinnamon candles? Fuck! No, I'm not calling you gay. I'm just saying... Did you just put a, like, a negative connotation on gay? No, not at all. Whoa, look at us. We're
Starting point is 00:36:16 gay. We're not normal. Uh, no, it's just that, you know, those kids like to take that shit and run with it. They're talking about buying candles. They're so cute. We're gonna go to build a candle workshop and make our own apple cinnamon candles. But I don't have a problem with Christmas coming early. How about gays? With
Starting point is 00:36:31 gays coming early? Gay people that have premature ejaculation problems? Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't have a problem with it. It just feels weird for me if I start listening to Christmas music early. It always comes off at first because we just got done talking about gay people a little bit like a slight comment also you're like it doesn't bother me too much i'm talking
Starting point is 00:36:50 about christmas coming early not gay people coming coming early um yeah but i don't mind if it comes early i just like um i like christmas i like christmas music um it's a good time of year it's a happy time of year it's it's the of the year. Everything's wrapping up. It's like that time of year where white people in the South go out of their way to shake the hand of a black person. Yes, that is the perfect way to describe it. I started watching Stranger Things. Is it good? It's really good. I only have two more episodes left.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Really? I watched probably the first five minutes, and I don't know. I don't think I gave it a fair chance. I watched it, and I don't think I was just in the right mood think I gave it a fair chance. I watched it and I was, I don't think I was just in the right mood to watch it that day. It gives me that fun Spielberg vibe. Fuck, I bought a Netflix account and I haven't used it once. Why did you buy? I have one.
Starting point is 00:37:34 We can just share. Yeah, I don't. Shit. I gotta cancel that. I'm being charged every month. Cancel it and you can use, I have an account called Freeloaders that you can use. I know, I've used your Freeloaders account before. Who's that? Vernon. Vernon again? Yep.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I don't know what he's doing. Should I yell Vernon sucks? Nah. Yeah, I'm a bit late. I'm always late to the party because when something's very popular, it's like I don't want to watch it because I don't want to be in that group of people that's constantly talking about it. I kind of just want to have it on my own time.
Starting point is 00:38:05 So I usually wait till time passes and the fads gone. And then I do like I watch it by myself. I don't know. It's this weird thing where I don't have to like see a bunch of Reddit posts and stuff about it. It's like that's out of the way. It's not on the rise anymore. And I can just enjoy it without having to get into the hype because it's easy for me to get into the hype of things because i did it with breaking bad and my mind was always
Starting point is 00:38:30 on fuck like it was always like oh what's gonna happen it gets too much in my mind yeah exactly i get too excited to it's a fun feeling though i remember breaking bad gave me some really good memories um just like not the show itself but just like the whole um going to fucking reddit and like yeah spoiling Breaking Bad I did spoil it for myself You did a big spoiler Yeah but I actually I did that recently The way late to the train
Starting point is 00:38:53 With One Punch Man cause I've never seen it And I watched it for the first time recently And it was fucking amazing and I watched All 12 episodes in a matter of a few days Weeb I'm not a weeb Ryan Aaron bought you a fucking Gundam. He bought you something from Japan, too.
Starting point is 00:39:10 No. Yes, you talked about it earlier on the podcast. But it's a big monkey. And this is a big robot. Fucking weeb. I'd like to see Donkey Kong fighting a Gundam. Take it back. Take it back.
Starting point is 00:39:22 I didn't mean to say it, Ryan. Take it back. I don't want to see Donkey Kong fighting a Gundam. I'm going to take a sip of this Coke. You want to wrap up this diddly dang podcast? Yeah, I'm upset. This political clusterfuck podcast? Let me just...
Starting point is 00:39:36 This podcast represents how this whole year went. How this whole fucking election went. Just a mess. Sloppy. It made you laugh. I'm sad it's over. It made you just mad. I'm a little sad. It's over because it was the fun's over.
Starting point is 00:39:49 It was the most fun, entertaining election I've ever seen. And now it's just a hard, cold truth. Yeah. And it's just reality. And it's fuck. You and I, you and I kind of came to the conclusion that this felt like the season finale of a TV show. And all of a sudden it's just kind of like, it's like one of those things where like the election was happening, this is the final episode
Starting point is 00:40:08 and all of a sudden it's like, what the fuck is going on? What? What? Like you're like looking at your TV. And now we gotta wait for January for the next season to start. Yep, so we'll see. It's like when people are talking about TV shows, they say, how are they gonna bring it back next season?
Starting point is 00:40:24 What are they gonna do like that type of thing I don't know where it's gonna go from here this is one of the first times in my life where I have actually been like I don't know where it's gonna go from here it can either just get really bad or you know just kind of stay the course oh so you're saying it can't get really good with Donald
Starting point is 00:40:40 Trump as president come on give the man some credit I don't think it could be really good for certain people that I support. So, no. Yep. Exactly. And it makes me sad, to be honest. But anyway, guys, this is a political podcast.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yay, politics. And the president of the United States of America is Donald Trump.

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