supermegashow - EP 28 - Thanksgiving
Episode Date: February 24, 2017Eat some turkey or ham. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Hi, can I take your order, please?
Can I get a Big Mac, McRab, McFlurry, and a McDouble?
Keep it rare, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets.
Tasty golden fries, a cold drink, one extra ice.
Junior chicken will be fire
And a sweet hot apple pie
Is that it?
Let me get a quarter pounder with cheese
A flat fish show, please
Make grittas, a McMuffin, and a large coffee
A hamburger, cheeseburger, hodgepodge, hotcakes
Vanilla cone shake and a hot fudge sundae
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Welcome to Super Megacast.
I am Matt Watson.
I'm Ryan McGee.
And we just wanted to make sure you're celebrating with your family and eating...
What do you usually eat for Thanksgiving?
Turkey?
I usually do honey-baked ham. Ooh, that's also a valid choice. family and eating, uh, what do you usually eat for Thanksgiving? Turkey?
I usually do honey baked ham.
Ooh, that's a, that's also a valid choice unless you are not from America.
If you're from Canada or Europe or Australia or Asia and you're listening to this and you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, you don't matter at all.
So turn this podcast off.
Thank you.
Uh, now that we're talking to the straight up Americans of the world, we just wanted
to make sure that you know, you know, make sure you know that we hold your values intact.
Thanksgiving is a day just like any other day to remember the destruction of other cultures in support of our own.
And just doing the American thing and eating a lot of food.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
So, guys, it is today when this podcast comes out.
It is Thanksgiving.
The day.
So we hope that this podcast can be like a little dessert
after your Thanksgiving meal.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, it's like after you eat, you go upstairs, turn this on, fall asleep.
You don't really listen to it, but, you know,
you use it as a way to just kind of clock out.
Doesn't matter.
We're still getting the ad revenue, so it's all good.
We'll probably put 15 or so.
Mid-rolls?
Yeah.
But Matt, you recently saw a movie that I really liked, and I couldn't really talk about it that much because you didn't see it yet, and that movie is Moonlight.
Oh, God. it was so good.
So fucking good.
It's one of the best movies of the year.
It is.
Hands down, it is one of the best movies of the year for me that I have seen.
It was fantastic.
It was, oh, it was just, I went and saw it by myself.
And it was just a beautiful, heartbreaking, incredible film.
Very real.
Yeah, very real. It didn't do, like, movie shit a film. Very real. Yeah, very real.
It didn't do like movie shit a lot of the times.
Very eye-opening to that kind of like culture and what it's like to be.
The movie's about a gay guy growing up in the hood, the drug-riddled hood of Miami.
And it is incredible.
So good. We definitely recommend to watch watch I give this movie two kisses that's good we talk about Ryan tell me what so what's your uh I mean
obviously I mean you live in LA now so you don't you don't do it anymore, but what was your traditional Thanksgiving like?
What would you do?
Well, I have two families,
so mom's side, dad's side.
I think everyone, of course, does,
but mine is a lot more separated
because my parents got divorced,
so I have two separate Thanksgivings
instead of a big family gathering of sorts, I guess,
or mom and dad coming to both. have two separate thanksgivings instead of like a big family gathering of sorts i guess or like
mom and dad coming to both um so i'd go probably either at the beginning no i'd probably go to
spartanburg greenville or something like that and then spartanburg spartanburg and then uh
my i don't know thanksgiving has always been great because we don't really eat the typical
stuff when it comes to my mom's side of the family just a bunch of uh i don't know. Thanksgiving has always been great because we don't really eat the typical stuff when it comes to my mom's side of the family.
Just a bunch of, I don't know, my grandmother's Dutch and my grandfather was Middle Eastern,
so there's a hodgepodge of delicious foods that weren't really American.
Typical.
Yeah.
But of course we did have turkey and stuff, but of course the sides, we would have like
hummus and what is it?
I'm trying to think.
Kibbe?
I can't pronounce it right because I'm a dirty little man.
Get out of here with that shit, Ryan.
And then over on my dad's side,
we just have nice little honey-baked ham,
some mashed potatoes,
some sweet potato salad.
Speaking my language.
Macaroni and cheese.
Don't put any pineapples in that shit.
In the mac and cheese?
Yeah.
People do that?
Just warning people.
People do that? I don't warning people. People do that?
I don't know. I'm just saying don't do it. Oh.
I thought... If you have the urge to put pineapples in mac and cheese, don't do it.
That sounds fucking... I thought you were saying that's actually
a thing people do. No.
But people put pineapple on pizza.
That's perfectly fine and delicious.
That sounds gross to me. No, it's...
Have you ever had it? Wait, wait. Have you ever had it?
It's like putting an apple on pizza. Have you ever had it?
Have you ever had pineapple on pizza?
No, I've never had pineapple on pizza.
Don't judge it! I'm gonna judge it. It sounds
gross! Yeah, it sounds gross. It sounds fucking
disgusting. Of course it sounds gross. I'm gonna cut up some apples.
I'm gonna cut up like a fucking pear and put
it on a pizza. Completely different, Ryan. It's not completely
different. It's different fruit! They're in the same
family. It's different fucking fruit. And no, pineapples
and apples are not in the same family and pears and
pineapples are not in the same fucking family. I'm gonna put like a little kiwi
Not in the same family. A little fucking dragon
fruit and put it on my pizza. Completely
different. No, I'm not gonna do that. Pineapple is different.
And, and, and, yeah. Do you put carrots
on your pizza? Ryan, your argument
does not hold up.
Pineapple, I agree, looks and sounds
gross on pizza, but it is my favorite
because the flavor combination is delicious.
Isn't that like a Hawaiian pizza thing?
Yeah, Hawaiian pizza.
Oh, God, Hawaiian pizza is the best with a little Canadian bacon.
No, no, just plain cheese or just pepperoni and cheese is the best.
It's boring as shit.
No, it's the best.
I could eat that shit up.
I don't get bored.
If you get bored of the pepperoni, take a bite of the cheese.
If you get bored of the cheese, take a bite of the pepperoni.
Boom.
I feel bad for you, Ryan.
I truly feel bad for you.
We mostly only order all that shit.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm always down for cheese.
You know, I'll be honest, Ryan.
I'm not the biggest fan of pepperoni.
Really?
Like, I can do pepperoni pizza, but it's never my first choice.
Yeah, mine is usually just plain cheese. I like
plain cheese pizza. It's just good.
You can dip the crust in the garlic.
Papa John's is my favorite place to order pizza
from. I like, I think Papa John's
and Domino's are tied for me.
Where? Papa John's and Domino's. I think they're tied
for me because I like... Domino's crust is better.
Yeah, Domino's has better crust,
but Papa John's, I think,
I don't know, I think they might just have better pizza overall.
I like that they don't use the, like, the sauce isn't that, there's not so much sauce on it.
Like, there's a good ratio of sauce and cheese on a Papa John's pizza.
Chris, Chris told me, he's like, oh, I figured out the best way to order a pizza, just ask for less cheese and less sauce.
And then, and then, then like he ordered a pizza
and i had a piece of it and it was so so dry and and like he had like no cheese he's like this is
the good stuff this is it's just like old and withered and gray and like flaking apart chris i
think you're just eating a piece of aged leather it's literally just dried out pita bread with some
mexican cheese sprinkled on top and ketchup ketchup. This is the good stuff, Matt.
Okay, Chris.
Yeah, but back to Thanksgiving.
My Thanksgivings usually,
you know, I didn't get to celebrate Thanksgiving
with my family last year. I didn't do anything for Thanksgiving last year
which sucked because it was my first Thanksgiving
away from home and
did absolutely nothing. And it was
not a good feeling
knowing that the rest of the country was eating turkey
and enjoying Thanksgiving
festivities and so usually like
it's either people come over
to our house and like
family members come over and my mom
will make like a ham or a turkey
and then
you know people will bring over sides
and my mom makes this delicious
broccoli casserole with richitz crackers and it is so
good.
My stepmom makes a casserole with Ritz crackers.
That is like my favorite dish she makes.
Is it like broccoli and stuff?
No, no, no.
It's, it's kind of like, it's with rice-a-roni and chicken and they, they, she like, the
crust on it is Ritz crackers.
Yeah.
It's really fucking good.
My mom does that. It's Ritz crackers, but. It's really fucking good. My mom does that.
It's Ritz crackers.
But the inside is like cheese and broccoli and stuff.
Which sounds weird, but it's really good.
Ritz crackers go so well with that shit.
Dude, Ritz crackers are amazing.
And it's weird that we're talking about Ritz crackers.
Because the past three nights in a row.
Have you been stealing my Ritz crackers?
Were those your Ritz crackers?
There's not a single one left. That box with like five sleeves of Ritz crackers? Were those your Ritz crackers? There's not a single one left.
That box with like five sleeves of Ritz crackers?
I can order more.
I was, wait, I thought that they had just been in our cabinet for like months and that's why I ate them.
No, I ordered them back when, remember when I like had the flu, I guess?
Oh yeah, the stomach thing.
And I was like, I'm just going to order a bunch of like saltines and crackers and chips because they're easy to digest.
Yeah, so the other night, I have this thing where I wake up every single night in the
middle of the night and I just like binge eat and I'm starving.
So I woke up, I'm like, I need food, but we don't have anything.
So I just saw a box of Ritz crackers.
I'm like, these have been here forever.
I'll eat these.
We cleaned out the fridge this morning.
We did clean out the fridge.
I'm going to go grocery shopping today.
I'm going to get, oh dude, I can't wait.
I'm going to have my cheese sticks back.
Oh God Christ.
What?
Just solid sticks of sharp cheddar cheese.
Oh,
it's so good.
Anyway,
uh,
like every night I'll just wake up in the middle of the night and I'll just down a whole
sleeve of Ritz crackers in my bed.
It crumbs everywhere.
Do you have anything with them or just plain Ritz crackers?
Plain Ritz crackers.
You don't like put cheese on them?
No,
just Ritz crackers by themselves are good.
You don't dip them in honey or anything?
I don't like cheese that much, to be honest.
I like it on things, but I don't like sliced cheese, and I don't like individual cheese bites.
It smells too bad.
I'm a man of my cheese.
I know you are.
I love it, and that's probably why I have bad gas.
Yeah.
But I haven't been eating cheese.
That's why I said, oh Christ, when you said you're about to order more cheese. Yeah. So prepare for that. Because I haven't been eating cheese. That's why I said oh Christ when you said you're gonna you're about to order more cheese.
Yeah. So prepare for that.
Because I live with you so.
Aw. Poor thing. I live and
work and record with you so I
whatever your diet is I'm
not gonna be able to escape it. Yeah but
we're gonna we gotta go grocery shop. When's the last time
we went to the grocery store and just got groceries?
Almost two months. Jesus
Christ. Do we eat out that much?
Uh, we just kind of like, they order
lunch every day at the grump office, and so
it's like that, and then afterwards
we'll usually just not be hungry after that.
And just snack. Yeah, that's not
very healthy at all. No, it's not.
We'll have, I'll have, we'll both have like
soylent, or you'll have your protein shake in the morning
for breakfast. Yeah, soylent.
And then we'll have an ordered lunch, maybe.
And then dinner is a hodgepodge of whatever.
Or I'll go to McDonald's or something and get dinner.
McDonald's is...
McDonald's and Taco Bell are your two favorite places to go for dinner.
Well, not so much.
I've kind of run my course with McDonald's at this point.
It's like...
I'm tired of that location.
They always get the order wrong.
Yeah.
It's like, whenever I go there, it's like, oh i could use mcdonald's but they screw it up so bad
and like i'm not one to complain about fast food or fast food service but this one mcdonald's is
fucking unreal how bad it is like they will not no matter how many times you repeat it and they
even put it on the screen they still get the order wrong and they don't care yeah laugh and smirk at
you or roll their eyes like it was like hey oh you got my order wrong and it's like it's their inconvenience if they got your order
wrong and like you're being we're being nice about it yeah like hey my order's wrong it's like hey i
think i hey i ordered this but i think i got this they're like okay and then they spit in ryan's
face and rub it all over his eyes look they, they can do whatever they want. Their, I don't know, their punishment is having to deal with customers every day.
Yeah, that is truly an endless hell.
And that's probably why they don't do their job, because they hate it so much,
because they get to deal with, especially in L.A.,
because it's one thing working fast food in the South where everyone is super sweet,
but in L.A., I feel like everyone's really mean.
Yeah, it's like everyone's very self-entitled in L.A.
So I feel like you have to deal with a lot of shittier people working fast food in the West than in the South.
If I worked at that McDonald's, I'd probably act that way.
Yeah, I would too, to be fair.
But it's just that since I'm the customer, I have that bias for the food that I want to eat.
Because I'm a fatty.
With those stretch marks, they go...
Put some coconut oil on that.
That's the sound of my stretch marks stretching over time.
If I filmed you For like two years
And then sped it up to a two second clip
The sound it would make
Is that your stomach coming out
And then just like bouncing
I can do a sick stomach drop
Yeah I know you can
You should put it on r slash belly drops
I should
I should do it as a joke and put it on what is it tit drop yeah not that i go on that but no of
course not you should uh you should do that in fact speaking of things that go sorry speaking
of things they go i can't do that fucking sound effect that was good uh i liked it i'll be following
you know banana has discovered my cat has discovered the little door stopper thing.
You know that, the little like coil on the wall?
Yeah.
He's discovered that.
And I'll be laying in bed and I'll be like 90% asleep.
Do we have those in our rooms?
Yeah, we do.
I just never notice it. Exactly.
I'll be 90%.
I never notice it either until I'm 90% asleep and my cat charges across the room, smacks it with his paw, and it goes.
And then runs under your bed.
Yeah, he does that.
So I can't grab him or yell at him or anything
because he's at the very end of my bed.
The thing is, the apartment's all clean now.
Oh, it's so clean.
It's so nice.
So, like, he shouldn't have that much stuff to play around with,
but I think he just gallops around your room.
Yeah, what he does is it'll be...
Sorry.
Are you throwing up?
Excuse me.
You okay?
Mm-hmm.
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I don't know 3
2 anywhere between 2 and 5
a.m. or even 6
and he will decide that that
is the time that he's going to
have his fun and
be active you know he can't
he can't do it when I'm not at home
because he stays he's at home from
probably 1030 in the morning
until
you know 4, 5, 6 in the afternoon
so he has all that time home alone
and he can play around
he can run around do whatever he wants
he's got peace and quiet
yeah so he just sleeps then and then when I get home
that's when he decides
I'm gonna fucking go crazy
so but it's not even right when I get home.
It's when I turn the lights off and go to bed.
And he runs around my room.
Every time you get a drink, he somehow gets the bottle cap from the drink.
And it makes its way into my room.
But I throw my drinks away and shit.
I don't leave them out.
Not anymore.
But a while back, I don't know how he would just get the bottle caps.
Because both of us were lazy as fuck and would never take the garbage out yeah but i know but all the trash
would collect on the in the fucking kitchen in the living room i don't know how he got the bottle
caps off and he and they would be in my room and he just at 5 a.m he'll be smacking the bottle caps
around the floor and chasing them and slamming into walls and stuff and then you let him out of
your room in the middle of the fucking night and then he comes over, smacks the bottle cap under my door
and then starts pawing under my door when I'm
trying to sleep. Because I can't, I can't, like
there's nothing that can stop him when
he's freaking out in the middle of the night.
I can spray him with a squirt ball. Break his paw!
I can yell at him, I can take everything away that he
plays with and he'll just start running back and forth.
He won't even be playing with anything. He'll charge
from one side of my room to the other.
And it's super loud and he'll slam into the wall cause he runs so fast
And then he'll run under my bed or he'll jump up on my windowsill and then play with the curtains
We just need to lock Lego and him in like the living room for like a good 30 minutes
Have them play together have Lego annoy him
We should stick him in your little closet area
They'll be more confined and they can just fucking go crazy and bounce off the walls
Cause Lego won't hurt them.
No.
They have a good time together.
It's funny to watch, actually.
If anything, Banana will hurt him.
Yeah.
Because they like to play in this way.
I mean, I guess it's playing.
But it's like Banana will be on his back on the ground with all four paws up in the air.
And he's staring at Lego.
And Lego's above him.
And Lego will put his entire head in his mouth.
Lego will just eat
Banana completely. He'll put his whole face
and head in his mouth and Banana will be like
smacking Lego and kicking him and stuff
and then they just roll around and
play like that and then Banana always
hisses and gets mad and then keeps
doing it. But just Lego looks like he doesn't understand
he's just like oh look at this thing.
Yeah I don't think Lego does understand.
This thing's swatting at me.
This thing's having fun.
I think Banana likes it because it's the only way he can get his little hunting urges out maybe.
That's why he plays with the bottle caps.
Probably because they're like little cockroaches.
I don't understand this.
I did a little research online.
Still not very clear on it.
You gotta move the mic, Matt.
No!
I'm moving it. I'm still not very clear on it but you're gonna move the mic matt no i'm moving it
i'm still not very clear on on why they do this but i've seen a lot of people's cats online do
this um banana will get on top of like my dresser or the counter or anything and he'll look at a
bottle or a cup with with a drink in it or deodorant or anything and he'll just knock it
off with his paw and then watch it hit the ground and just stare at it he'll just it'll sit on top
of like the the surface knock something off and then just stare down at it like whoa didn't we
look it up and it's like they're like interested in like watching things fall and shit it's like
gravity or something there they don't he does that with everything it's so fucking annoying i can't
get him to stop i don't know how to make him stop.
Because I read online you can't discipline them for that
because they don't know what they did wrong.
Even if you punish them right when he knocks something off,
he won't understand why he's being punished.
So it'll just make him hate me and then start to get mean and bitter and stuff.
The only solution is not leaving drinks and stuff out,
which we both do sometimes and then
i'll hear a big crash and i'll walk in the room and then there's water or gatorade all over the
floor and i'm just like god damn it you stupid cat and i pick him up and i'll put him in the
washing machine and turn it on for for a whole cycle just to punish him what do you think like
is something that could just i'm trying to think of just something that'll
scare him into submission.
We could beat the shit out of him and break his paws.
You could just like grab him by his two hind legs
and start flinging him around.
You'll probably hear a few snaps.
Throw him across the room.
He'll be like one of those balls
at the end of the string on a paddle.
Just throw him out the window.
We don't live on the first floor, so we can just...
Yeah.
Cats can
survive a long fall, can't they?
Cats can fall from a really...
And for the dumbasses,
no, we're not serious about any of this.
But cats can...
Yeah, there are other stupid people out there.
Oh my god, you're actually, you're so mean to your cat.
You really do that? Oh my god, I have to report this video right now. Yeah, there are those stupid people out there. Oh my god, you're actually, you're so mean to your cat. You really do that?
Oh my god, I have to report this video right now.
Yeah, but cats can fall a really long way and land on their feet.
I don't know how they, they take a good shock.
They apparently can, like, their head, if you put a cinder block on it and then step on it, it can like, it won't crush.
Like, their head can thin out to like paper thin.
I've never heard that one.
Because it isn't true.
And if anybody's listening and is stupid enough to actually believe it,
then now you know what your IQ level is probably nothing to brag about.
I mean, ours isn't either, but if you actually believe that,
then there's something you need to go get checked out.
I saw a video of a cockroach and how they can fit through small spaces and and get flat and everything it was
really disturbing and disgusting it was a cockroach in a tube and it was being crushed until the point
where it didn't get hurt and they get they can they can go through the tiniest holes and flatten
themselves and it's so fucking gross. Ew.
That's how they get inside.
They get through, like, the sides of windows and shit.
It's disgusting.
You can't keep them out.
They're so fucking... I'm just glad that we don't have them at where we live.
God, I'm not going to do this, but we're doing the soup video very soon.
We are.
And what would be your reaction if I just had a dead cockroach floating in the middle of the soup?
I wouldn't even touch it.
But what if it was a clean cockroach that I bought from a store?
You can't buy a clean cockroach.
I can kill one and then clean it myself.
No, you can't.
What if I get one of those lollipops with a cockroach or whatever?
They don't make the ones that have the cockroaches in them as far as I know.
Usually it's crickets or scorpions.
What if I just put a little cricket, like a bunch of crickets
in it?
Then I dress the cricket up as a cockroach.
I gave him a little cockroach costume.
Well, I would
do two things.
I would applaud you
for your dedication
and just the...
To get like a grasshopper
in a cockroach costume. The fact that you went through all of grasshopper and a cockroach costume
the fact that you went through all of that effort to make a
cockroach costume and put it on a cricket
and then
I would also just not eat the soup
oh okay
fine yeah I just spent a lot of time
making the soup
well if you put bugs in it I'm not gonna eat it
but bugs have protein
yeah okay well people are like Well, if you put bugs in it, I'm not going to eat it. Bugs have protein.
Yeah, okay, well, people are like, oh, bugs have protein.
Yeah, but no more protein than like, I can have a protein bar, like an energy bar, and get like five times that amount.
That's not natural, though.
I saw some guy online long ago that was talking like, I can drink my cum, and it's a lot of protein.
And the person's like,
yeah, but you can also just eat like a fish filet and get twice the amount. Why would you?
And the guy was defending it like, well, no, it's. Was this your youth pastor?
No. Yeah. We were all in a group. He said, guys, you can drink your cum. It's protein.
And it's not a sin. No, there are multiple people online in this group trying to say like, well, no, but you can look, it's protein. It's natural. It's like, yeah, but it's not, it's not like it's not a sin. No, there are multiple people online in this group trying to say like, well, no, but you can look, it's protein.
It's natural.
It's like, yeah, but it's not like it's so protein enriched that you're not going to get that protein.
I can go drink a protein shake.
I can buy for $2.99 at the gas station and get twice that amount.
You can think of Popeye instead of like pulling out triumphantly like that thing of spinach.
It's just like he pulls down his pants, strokes his cock.
A little spittle of cum comes out.
He goes, boom, boom, boom.
The buzz is da-da-da-da.
Or like in another episode, it'll pan into like a bathroom.
And he's just giving like that whatever the guy with the black beard.
Just like a big, just a blowy.
What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, boom, boom, bah! Oh, man.
I think Popeye was gay.
I don't know.
He sure was overcompensating a lot of the times.
And his arms were, his arms were fucking huge, dude.
His arms were, uh, something wrong with his arms.
I think Family Guy made a joke about it.
It's like Family Guy and Robot Chicken, I think.
About the tumors on his arms?
Yeah.
Because I was about to make a joke, and then I was like, wait a second.
That's, I think that's already been done and then i remembered uh back to my
family guy days so my family guy days dark time in my life yeah we were just talking with brent
and he was like is family guy a good show we were just all like no it's not you know his exact his
exact words were do we like family guy oh yeah do we like family Guy? Yeah, do we like Family Guy?
He's like, no.
I think, as I said, South Park is,
it's probably the popular thing to say,
and everybody loves South Park, but it's true.
There's a reason, because it's fucking great.
I haven't seen any of the recent seasons.
I haven't watched South Park in ages.
I don't know why.
It holds up.
Probably because we don't have cable,
and that was the only,
I'll be honest, dude.
I kind of wish we had cable.
I love just kind of flipping through the channels and watching TV.
Putting something on.
Hey, if we make more money.
When we ditch our current internet provider because there's something way better that we could get,
we can look into cable and see what a package would cost.
Why are we...
We've been wanting to switch for months.
Why have we not just done that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
They sucked.
Too much work. I don't want to name for months. Why have we not just done that? I don't know. I don't know. They sucked. Too much work.
I don't wanna name- I don't wanna name drop them.
I'm sorry, my sister just texted me that Ben Carson's getting a position.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bullshit.
Yes!
Yes! What? Ryan, high five!
What? No, no, no. Where'd- no, we need to fact check this shit.
Yeah, fact check it. I don't know.
I don't have my phone. Where's my phone?
Well, I would look it up if my phone wasn't-
Hold on.
Incredibly broken. Hold on. Where'd she find this. I don't have my phone. Where's my phone? Well, I would look it up if my phone wasn't incredibly broken. Hold on.
Where'd she find this?
Okay, I got my phone out. He's getting director of
brain surgery
and drunkenness.
God damn it. My phone.
I have big old thubs and then I have a small
ass phone.
Ben Carson. Donald
Trump? I don't know.
Ben Carson expects announcement on Trump administration role soon, one hour ago.
Ben Carson hints at potential nomination for Trump cabinet post.
I thought he was going to make him like the Surgeon General or something.
As housing secretary?
Housing secretary?
I don't know.
Don't take this as fact.
It's like Donald Trump close to picking.
I don't think he's actually picked anything yet.
If you could make a dream team, Ryan, if you were president, who would you pick for your team?
Anyone, Ryan.
Anyone.
Who would you pick just to create the most just havoc?
Like where the public is genuinely just, what the fuck?
Then I'd have to say...
Politics aside, who could you pick that people would just be shocked
and you would run the country straight into the ground?
Secretary of State would be Dakota Fanning.
Because she was in War of the Worlds.
Her sister is so hot.
Ella Fanning? Yeah.
She's a beautiful woman.
She's a very pretty
young lady. She's 18, right?
I don't know. Now I have to check
for you. I'm assuming
she's older than 18. I just know she's around
my age and I can't be saying that if she's not.
She was in Super 8. Is that how you found out
about her? Yeah.
Hold on. Ella Fanning. She
is 18.
Woo! Alright. She just turned 18
recently. Really? Not just turned 18
but she uh. Okay well I'm in the clear.
I'm in the clear. Cool. You are in the clear.
She was born in 98.
So. Yeah but who would you
pick as your dream team?
I told you I got...
Just Dakota Fanning?
Yeah.
Who would you choose?
Secretary of State?
I'd probably do Carrot Top.
For my UN ambassador?
I'd probably pick...
I gotta have Bill Cosby in there somewhere. Oh my god. But he has to
always be doing the Fat Albert voice. There's a lot of good people. I'd probably pick George
Michaels from Wham. The fuck is that? I don't know, he's just... What's Wham? Are you serious?
What's Wham? What's Wham? What do you mean what's Wham? I mean what the fuck is Wham? That's exactly
what I mean. Is this... You don't know what Wham is? Is this mean, what's Wham? I mean, what the fuck is Wham? That's exactly what I mean.
You don't know what Wham is?
Is this one of those things where you don't know, and you're like, what do you mean you don't know what Wham is?
Everybody knows what Wham is.
I'm gonna look it up.
Wham.
Oh my god.
Ryan.
Uh.
This?
Yes.
Wham.
I don't know.
What do they do?
Wake me up before you go. Okay, I know the songs. I don't know the fucking name do? Wake me up before you go
Okay I know the songs I don't know the fucking name of the band
George Michaels
I don't know
George Michaels he's so famous he's huge
I'm sorry you're pissing your pants about this
Guys he's crying
He's spittering
He's like sputtering in his pants
I'm sputtering in my pants
I'm gonna sputter
I just sputtered my pants dude
i was making out with this chick last week and it was so hot that i sputtered my pants dude i think
i think she did a little sprinkle as well i'm gonna sprinkle you know i'm gonna do something
i haven't done on the podcast before i'm gonna go to twitter and go to news or whatever you know
the thing where it's like trending shit trending topics i just want
to see if there's anything interesting going on moments today target star studded lineup of
spect oh that's a promotion yeah that's an advert that wasn't whoa i just laughed and farted at the
same time happy 24th birthday miley cyrus wow how jk rowling got the harry potter
birthday, Miley Cyrus.
Wow. How J.K. Rowling got the Harry Po-
This sounds like BuzzFeed.
Wait, what is this?
Brad Pitt will face no charges
as FBI closes investigation?
On what? What did Brad Pitt
do?
An allegation altercation
with one of his children on a private plane.
Like he hit his kids or something?
I don't know. I'm not gonna spread rumors.
Uh, oh!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Matt. Yeah.
Have you seen the trailer for Martin Scorsese's new
movie, Silence? I haven't.
About Christians going to
Japanese
infested Japan.
I like Japan,
but it's so Japanese infested. I know!
No, I haven't. I saw a screenshot from it. It's got a little Andrew Garfield in. And it's so Japanese and custom. I know. No, I haven't.
I saw a screenshot from it.
It's got a little Andrew Garfield in.
And it's got Liam Neeson.
We saw Andrew Garfield in person.
Driver.
Adam Driver.
I don't know.
Oh.
I could check it out.
That sounds like an interesting movie.
The trailer looked really good.
I'll have to watch that afterwards.
In fact, I might be, today after this podcast, I might actually be purchasing a plane ticket to the land of Japan to go visit my buddy who's going to be living over there.
What's his name?
Christian.
What's his real name?
Christian.
No, he knows what I mean, but what's his name?
Oh, Flynn, yeah.
His nickname, Flynn?
Yeah.
Yeah, he goes by Flynn for some reason.
I don't know.
Okay.
How do you spell that in Japanese?
Fudin.
Yeah, he loves going by Flynn, though.
He gets everyone to call him that for some reason.
You used to tell me you used to have a bunch of friends that were, like, I guess were exchange students or something, and you'd make them say, like, curse words?
Yeah, well, I didn't make them they they didn't know how to use that's that's the
thing is like they have a good english education and they're they were all surprisingly and one of
one of my friends but when it comes to slang they're just not yeah they don't they don't know
anything about it but one of my friends he was almost fully fluent and i was like how long have
you been learning english and he's like five months and I was like what the what they're they pick it up so fast but um they I was at like a coffee shop
with a bunch of Japanese exchange students a lot of uh a couple friends of mine from Japan and they
didn't they were curious because they don't know how to say fuck they don't know when you use it
like what it's used for so that was one of the best conversations of my life getting to explain
to foreigners different variations of the word fuck.
How to use it.
Because it's such a...
Fuck is a word.
Fuck is one of the greatest words in the English language.
And I sound like a 6th grader when I...
Oh my god, dude.
Fuck is such a good word.
But think about all the...
And it has so many uses.
It's so expressive.
Noun, pronoun, adverb, adjective.
I mean...
Verb, everything.
Like, it's...
It's incredible. Yeah. A verb ending in I-N-G.'s it's incredible a verb ending
in ing hello
mad libs but a number that begins
with the letter f fuck
five Matt five
fuck isn't a number well I put it down
okay but uh they'd be like
motherfucker
motherfucker fucking
it was just fun listening
did you point and laugh at him i did i said
you you're stupid you're not american you sound funny you don't sound normal but i remember i
got them to say um we were we were like giving each other hard words to say and i gave them
make them say i saw this on reddit and that's where i got the idea a long time ago but
um try to get them to say lar Parallelogram Larry Parallelogram
Larry Parallelogram
Larry Parallelogram
Larry Parallelogram
It's funny because
What is it?
What's the rule?
What's the like
They're kind of like
Why is it hard for them?
Well they can't
There's no L
And there's no R
Really
It's like It's a different Well it's not like the English R.
It's an R, but it's not like.
The R is very different.
Yeah.
Like the sound.
In English, it's R, R like that.
We have R and we have L, R and L,
but in Japanese, they have neither,
and they have a sound that's like da, da, da, like that.
So trying to say R and L,
just kind of, unless you're really good at it um
you know because you you you didn't grow up knowing or learning that sound so you you end up just
saying it how your brain knows how to say it so it translates it to like you know instead of saying
larry you say daddy then parallelogram parallelogram parallelogram there's actually a book
I wish
I wanna just
I just wanna have a talk show
where everyday
we go out
into the streets
and find
like little Asian people
and get them to say
funny words
and then point and laugh at them
no
just point and laugh
oh just
look and there's one
oh
I bet you
I bet you smell bad.
What?
That had nothing to do with being Asian.
I was just trying to be mean.
You get mad when I fart.
What?
That wasn't me.
That was Ryan.
Wasn't me?
Liar?
Wow.
Does it smell?
Is it stinky?
It smells like canned dog food.
I can't say that.
That doesn't sound like it smells bad it doesn't smell good
but um
I realize that when I do that
on a podcast I'm broadcasting
my flatulence to like
the entire world
you know something that
99% of the population
are terrified to do in front of anybody.
And then you and I just kind of do it in the microphone.
You and I also appear nude.
Yeah.
A lot.
Or we used to.
We don't really do that much anymore.
We dropped a lot of stuff from the beginning of the channel.
I'm not saying we dropped the nudity.
I'm sure it's going to come back.
But there's certain things that we just dropped.
Which I'm kind of glad we dropped.
Well, there's things that are funny for a certain amount of time and then they're not funny
anymore otherwise you know if you if you keep doing the same thing people get tired of it
it's just like i never wanted kind of like a catchphrase type thing i didn't want to be known
as like people with a catchphrase and we kind of made one yeah but we don't really use we have not
we have not said yes yes yes or daddy or or daddy
likes in in what four months i don't know the last time we said it but it's shocking how prevalent
it's rampant like i see it every day on twitter and stuff every video it's yes people are like
when are you gonna make a yes yes yes shirt and i mean the honest answer is probably we won't so go
ham and make
your own have a fun little art project make your be be be unique go ahead have your own unique shirt
and make it we're not we're not your pictures we will we will eventually do merchandise like
t-shirts and and stickers remember we said that a lot of this stuff isn't gonna happen till 2017
though we just have a lot to get through when it comes uh with the holidays with game grumps and
super mega recording and everything like that yeah but but like i know we've been saying this for a while but we we do
have merch um that we are eventually going to do we just need to nail down the best way to make
merch or the most distributed yeah the best way whether that means going through a website
or um uh weaving them ourself yeah Yeah. Weaving a shirt.
Not sewing one.
Or you can make Super Mega weave.
Oh, God.
Like, basically, when all the weave is down on a woman, it shows our logo and it's yellow.
Yellow weave.
That would just look like some gross SpongeBob deformed bullshit.
What would SpongeBob look like if he had weave?
Can white people wear weave? I'm sure they can. It's just extra hair, isn't it? But, if he had weave? Can white people wear weave?
I'm sure they can.
It's just extra hair, isn't it?
But I mean, like, do white people wear weave?
I'm sure, yeah.
I thought old people wore weaves before anyone else.
Okay, wait, what even is weave?
Is weave just, like, hair that you tie to your other hair?
I don't know how it works.
I thought that's what that was.
I'm going to look it up now.
What is a weave?
What is a...
I love when you're walking down the street or something,
or you're just somewhere in public,
and you find a little bit of weave on the ground.
You're just like, yep, someone lost some weave.
You ever seen that video of the big woman on the swing set,
and she flies out of the swing,
like big, very large African-American woman,
and she jumps off the swing, and she goes flying,
and she hits the ground, and her weave just flies
off 100%.
I think it was on Tosh.0 many years ago.
It's very funny. Weave is
pretty much hair extensions.
Just hair extensions.
On Urban Dictionary, it said,
mostly used by black women and
celebrities.
Black women and celebrities.
So, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp.
God, Brad Pitt looks great with weave.
He does. That's why the FBI's
investigating him, because he looks too good in weave.
There are celebrities where I'm
just kind of looking at them and I'm like, just, your time's
up. Stop looking good.
Like, why do you still look decent?
Like, Tom Cruise still looks good.
A little something called plastic surgery.
Keanu Reeves.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I wonder how often those celebrities get.
It's got to be multiple times a year, probably.
But I could never be talked into doing that shit, man.
I'd be scared that I'd turn out like one of the horror stories.
Yeah, like, what's her name?
God.
What's her name again?
Dolly Parton?
Dolly Parton.
Joan.
Oh, Joan Rivers?
Yeah, Joan Rivers.
Like, before she died, she looked like just. What's her name again? Dolly Parton? Joan Rivers? Yeah, Joan Rivers.
Before she died, she looked like just... I mean, no disrespect to her at all, but...
She made fun of herself.
She was one of those people where plastic surgery didn't go too well
because you can really see it.
Because, I mean, the point of plastic surgery is to look better
and not look like a doll.
Isn't it to just stretch the wrinkles out?
Yeah, basically just kind of like stretching your skin
or lifting parts of your face.
But, I mean, it's a face you have.
It's a face you're given.
You can't change it.
There's things about my face I wish I could change.
But aging looks cool.
It does, yeah.
It's like a...
It's like, look.
Look at what I've been through.
I've gone through life.
It's like watching a mountain range form.
Yeah.
Especially, uh...
I forgot what I was gonna say.
You forgot?
Yeah.
We have to go to hell and find what Matt was gonna say!
Why do we have to go to hell to find that?
I don't know, that's the typical, like,
oh no, now we have to go travel to hell.
Harold and Kumar go to hell.
I'd watch that movie.
I've seen every Harold and Kumar movie.
I never saw the Christmas one.
That was, it was 3D.
Hey, I mean, well, actually, I guess I could see it now because it's about to be the Christmas season, so.
It is the season.
It is the Christmas season because it starts so damn early now.
I don't mind.
We've talked about this. It doesn't matter. It's Christmas. It doesn't matter to me early now. I don't mind. We've talked about this.
It doesn't matter.
It's Christmas.
It doesn't matter to me at all.
I'm fine with it coming early.
What's your favorite Christmas song?
Oh, God.
I don't know.
There's so many fucking good ones.
It almost is like whatever fits the mood.
But I think one of my favorites is definitely Feliz Navidad.
Oh, it's so nostalgic to me.
Holy shit.
Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Oh, it's so nostalgic to me. Holy shit. Feliz Navidad.
Feliz Navidad.
Comprero aƱos y felicidad.
I probably got some Spanish wrong there.
But, dude, um, God, wow, that song is nostalgic back to, like, elementary school for me, actually.
That's when I loved that song the most.
My favorite Christmas song is by Wham.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart. That's my I love that song the most. My favorite Christmas song is by Wham. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.
That's my favorite Christmas song.
Sounds like a teen girl, like a mean girl's Christmas holiday special thing.
They would use it in that.
I don't know if I already said this on a podcast, but when I was younger, in that song, they say, you know, the line is um this year to save me from tears but when i was a kid i always
thought they said this year something like chevy frontier like the truck so i always thought they
were just singing about a chevy frontier in that part of the song well it's almost like uh you know
the song where it's like uh i carved my name into his leather seats. Yeah. I always thought she said, I carved my name into his legacy.
And I thought that sounded cooler because it's like, he cheated on me.
So I'm going to like fuck up his car.
And like, because like he was emotionally attached to me at one point, blah, blah, blah.
I'm going to carve my name into his legacy and he'll never forget me.
But that honestly makes more sense.
It was carve my name into his leather seats.
Yeah.
This year, I'll carve my name into his leather seats yeah this year i'll carve my name into his
leather seats and also this year i found a i think i've discovered a new top christmas song of mine
which i've never really like paid attention to until this year i heard it and i'm like this is
a really good song it's the one that's like this christmas a very special Christmas This year
You know that song?
No
I'm sure if you heard it
I probably would
My singing's not doing a very good
Yeah
How this Christmas
It played when we were getting sushi
With Jack and Aaron and Susie
Oh yeah
Remember?
Okay yeah yeah yeah
How this Christmas
It just doesn't have a big foothold in my brain
It's a good song though
It's a fucking great song
I like all the classics
Oh yeah
I like Jingle Bell Rock
Christmas
Jingle Bell
Jingle Bell
Jingle Bell Rock
And then I like
It's not even Christmas
And we're starting to do this shit
Well I mean
By the time people listen to this
It'll be Thanksgiving so
Yeah
So it'll be
Perfectly
Perfectly fine by then
For people to
Listen to Christmas music.
Unless you have not had your Thanksgiving feast yet, then don't listen to this.
Turn it off.
Go eat your fucking Thanksgiving.
I'm sure.
Your roast beast, as the Grinch would say.
On Christmas, my family always makes prime rib.
Like mashed potatoes and prime rib or prime roast.
I don't know.
I think it's prime roast, prime rib.
I don't know.
It's really good though.
Do you mix your foods when you eat them?
Yeah.
I think it's so good.
Like if you have steak, mashed potatoes, and like some toast, you take like you take you
put your fork in the steak, dip it in your mashed potatoes, then eat that, then take
a bite of your toast and all those things in one.
Yeah, it mixes all together into one delicious thing.
Oh, I love it.
It's weird because I like mixing foods together in my mouth, but not on the plate.
Like, I wouldn't mix.
Yeah, not on the plate.
Thank you, everyone, for joining us in this super mega podcast.
We had a grand old time just talking, chilling here with you boys girls and liking alike
everyone listening
whether you celebrate Thanksgiving
or not hope you have a great day
spend some time with your family
or don't I know I won't be
or just stay in your room and listen to
us for some reason
you should be ashamed of yourself if that's what you're doing
you're a despicable human being
however eat some good food have have a good time, watch some football, do whatever you want to do.
Feliz Navidad.
Yeah.
Proro Agnese Felizidad.