supermegashow - EP 317 - Ben Shapiro Feet Pics

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

We want to take those socks off. Get premium wireless from just $15 bucks a month and no unexpected plot twists at https://MintMobile.com/supermega Start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at https://chime.com/super When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/supermega today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack

at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 biweekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. That's good coffee.

Just like how this is probably going to be a decent, well, good episode of the podcast. It's going to be one of our best episodes yet. People are going to go bananas, okay? People are going to go wild. They're going to go hog wild for this episode. Yep. Welcome, one and all, to another episode of the Super Megacast.

Fuck, hold on, man. Y'all know how we do it here. You know, like adjusting our microphones after we start recording. Just kind of talk. It's kind of like, this podcast is the exact conversations people have, like like during a lunch break. So I feel like we can accompany a lot of lunch breaks out there.

These are the exact conversations that you and I have when we're not recording. Like people wonder if we put on like a face, but it's really like... Well, you do because you're a bit... Oh, yes. I have to save appearances, but... You're a bit feminine, which there's nothing wrong with. Well, I mean, how I am off camera in terms of my masculinity is not something that you need to necessarily... I was talking about the makeup. I just didn't want you to think that I was being disrespectful by saying that it was something about your personality.

I was hoping that you would just let the sunglasses fly this time and not have to bring up why I'm wearing them. That'd be cool. You know, every now and then. Just let me do my thing, man. I'm wearing sunglasses because I had on eyeshadow and stuff last night for the reason of a photo shoot, not because I was out at any specific clubs in West Hollywood. If you can call just taking pictures of yourself with your iPhone a photo shoot, then yes. I guess that's what influencers call a photo shoot these days. Ryan, it was a real photo shoot.

Okay. There were PAs. Yeah. It was for Time Magazine, dude. Now you make me go out and spoil it for everybody. I'm sorry. Look, I apologize. Not really, because I don't believe you.

No, they're probably on Instagram now. You can just say you put on the makeup for yourself, and I would not think anything of it. I would actually commend you and say, yeah, okay. I can't get all the eyeshadow off. I tried so hard. It's just, can you guys see? I look like a little more dead than usual. People are like, huh, it's hard to tell the difference.

Yeah, probably. Like, I didn't see a difference. You always look dead like a raccoon. Damn it, I didn't get a water. It's fine. I don't a difference. Yeah, probably. Like, I didn't see a difference. You always look dead like a raccoon. Damn it, I didn't get a water. It's fine. I don't need water. Hey, man. Well, in about 20 minutes, we'll go to our first ad break,

and then you can get as hydrated as your little heart desires, Mr. McGee. Oh, yeah. It's good to stay hydrated. I've been doing better with drinking a good bit of water. Me too. And, of course, I forgot my water bottle today. Mine's in my car collecting, uh, all the sun's wonderful heat. Well, that's good because, uh, it, it,

it collects vitamin D and that's good for depression. Oh, okay. So if I drink that, there'll be vitamin D in that water. Yeah. Okay. That's how that works. Vitamin D actually. So, uh, if you're depressed, a lot of people, uh, just need to go step out into the sun and take a walk. For real, actually. Because depression, vitamin D plays a big role in depression. And you get vitamin D from the sun hitting your skin because your body creates the vitamin D when the sun hits you. So basically, go take a walk in the sun early morning. Touch grass.

Take a few sips of beer. Yes. And you should be good. Well, that's the Keemstar method. And from past experience, that does work pretty well. Just a couple sips of beer. If you're having a panic attack, I got two pieces of advice. One's from me and one's from Keemstar.

From me, stop being a pussy. From Keemstar, just have a few sips of beer. It's not that hard. It's kind of the same thing stop being a pussy drink some beer he has a you could align them yeah together as like one solid bit of advice well he has a phd in uh psychology keemstar oh i did not know that he understands uh human emotion and uh the brain uh wiring quite well and how a lot of mental illnesses function and operate. That's why he himself is so mentally healthy.

Okay. So basically, yeah, just have a couple sips of beer. Stop being a pussy. And do you want to add anything to that? Maybe, you know, rules of three? Anything to help those little crybabies out there? Go play some sports. Sports do help.

Sports are a big one. Recreational activity. Some exercise. Get you to let out a lot of that. All three of those actually do work. Well, the three sips of beer. Well, three sips of beer for like a panic attack, no. And that's not like a medical. But alcohol does reduce stress and elevate your sense of well-being in a smaller quantity.

Just drinking a few sips of beer and then playing some sports, getting some exercise. There is some science. Your doctor would give you a round of applause for doing all of that, honestly. Especially the beer. Except, yeah. Your doctor would definitely say, have you been drinking beer? Oh, that's good. That's good.

How much? What I hate, though, is that there is some science behind what Keen starts doing. A case a day. How many is in a case for you? 12. No, 24. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So you've been feeling good then. So you're a light drinker, I would say, right? Doc, it's just beer. I mean, it's not liquor. Yeah, it's essentially just watered down bread juice. It is just bread juice, dude. It's like dirty piss.

You love beer. I adore beer. Beer is one of my favorite drinks. If I'm anywhere and someone offers me a beer, I go, hell yeah, brother. You know what I say? Because I don't take beer from women. I go, if someone offers me a beer, I go, no thanks, I'm not drinking anymore. That's nice.

But I'm not drinking any less. And then I take that thing and I crack that little shit. That's awesome. And then I down it like Popeye with a fucking can of spinach. That's sick. Do you hate that there was like, love him or hate him, there was some truth behind what Keemstar was saying? Luke, can you throw up the original tweet for everyone so so people know what we're talking about tweet no luke change not the dog tweet the beer one um yeah that's that's uh medical advice from keemstar phd um because he's a pretty huge dick if if you ask me. Nice. He is. That's sick.

You like Keemstar a lot? You like Keemstar? No. Sure you want that on record? I think he's an asshole. No. I know. Come on, man. That's a hard opinion to have. Because I fight every day. Most of everyone loves Keemstar.

I'm jumping on... I have probably a very um rare opinion it's a hot take yeah saying that keemstar is an asshole so i'll take the bullets on this one i like when when when someone says keemstar is an asshole and then he gets upset like it like that's like a uh he knows he's an asshole though he realizes that's a that's a part of what makes him big and he uses that to his advantage. Yeah. So like he uses it as marketing.

Yeah, he does. And it works. Yeah. That's the thing. People are always going to be mad. You could make an argument that Keemstar is a smart businessman. Like Jake Paul. Yeah.

Or Logan Paul. Hate those people. They are good businessmen. They're good businessmen. They make millions of dollars. They know. Do we make millions of dollars? We do not make millions of dollars. Hate those people. They are good businessmen. They're good businessmen. They make millions of dollars. They know. Do we make millions of dollars? We do not make millions of dollars.

Nope. Surprise, surprise to some of you little rats out there that think that Ryan and I are bumping uglies with the coastal elites. Yeah. No, we don't make millions of dollars. High hundreds of thousands every month, yes, but not millions. Straight into our pockets. Yeah. I'm i'm lucky they pat well we are lucky that they passed along california to where you don't have to pay your employees like a wage because it's seen as it's seen as more of like a doing your part as a

moral upstanding citizen and to entertain the common folk well Well, that's what I like about California is, you know, a lot of people like Republicans will say that California is like a socialist hell hole, but because it is socialist here in California, I'd say even bordering communist. The best part is that no one gets paid for their jobs, employees,

but we're owners. So we get to keep all the money. And that's what I love about communism is that you and I get to keep all of the money. And then Jim Layton, Justin Luke get to keep all the money. And that's what I love about communism is that you and I get to keep all of the money. And then Jim Layton, Justin, Luke. They have to pick up side jobs, but I don't think that's our responsibility as employers. That's their personal. That's more of like their personal life.

Yeah, money is their personal life. Here we're doing work, all right? We're trying to create something, and they're helping us out. I love like an employee comes to ask for like a raise or something. we're doing work. All right. We're, we're, we're trying to create something and they're helping us out. I love like an employee comes to ask for like a raise or something. They've been working for the company for years. Haven't, you know, complained about not getting,

getting a raise or anything like that. They're like, okay, I'll, I'll take this like a bonus. That was nice of them. Let's say five years down the company, you come in,

you ask for a raise. They respond to you with this they get they go nope how would you feel well considering we just did that to justin uh how would you feel well i'd be pissed off to quote walt jr i off. But, and this is where it all comes to a head, making it full circle, facts don't care about your goddamn feelings, so the employer still wins in this case. That's true. It doesn't matter that you feel bad or feel owed money. No.

Because those are your feelings. Anyone can feel like they're owed money. The fact of the matter is that California law makes it so that employers can keep 100% of the profits from the business that they own, which we do. Listen, don't shoot me for taking advantage

of the legal loopholes. It's not even a loophole. It's a law. Yeah. Actually, I'm pretty sure California's making it illegal to pay employees. Look it up.

Look it up, assholes. Look it up. It's not my job to look it up for you. It's your job to do the research yourself and come to your own conclusions California actually unless they're different from mine

yes I want to make that and mine absolutely but ours are the same yes except for the ones that you don't agree with so those are wrong but I would say that's cool that you can have that perspective

but it would be the wrong But I would say that that's cool that you can have that perspective. But it would be the wrong perspective to hold in terms of the disagreements we share and who's right or wrong in those. No, I think that what you're I think the opinions you're holding there are wrong because that's the thing about opinions, Ryan. They're like assholes. Everyone's got one and they all stink. Well, my opinions are backed up by logic and science. No, I don't think they are actually. Imagine us in a legitimate, like, debate. Like, not against each other. You would win every time because you were fucking fantastic at debating.

I'm fantastic at—nope. Fuck. I mean, dude, if you do that in debate, you're not losing. If you don't give them the win, if you're not giving them the win, then they can't win. If you're just going, nope. And someone, like, gets off to just like, and that's why I believe that people within the trans community deserve at least the smallest modicum of respect from everybody who lives on this goddamn earth. Nope. And all of a sudden just, it's like, what, like Dr. Brent Cunterson will now respond, have a five-minute response?

Um, nope. Oh! What are you doing? That's not even a response. Yes, it is. Ooh. And then, like, put a vine boom in there? Listen, I am using logic right now.

I am using facts, all right? And what you're saying is you're not even offering a rebuttal to my argument. Yes, I am. Oh! I responded, didn't I? Hmm. I mean, how do you win? But that's the things you can't win against someone like that.

Someone who just goes, well, I mean. Yeah do you how do you win? But that's the things you can't win against someone like that. Someone who just goes, well, I mean, yeah, you are. We're dumbing down the actual cases to a to an absurdist degree. I mean, it would be very impossible to not have a conversation with someone. Well, that's not a debate. Nope. It's very hard to to debate some of these actual people. Like Ben Shapiro is probably one of the top debater-esque people that the right clings to. And he's very good at debating and very good with his

words. That's the thing about a lot of these people is even when they're wrong, the thing is they're good at debating. And they're good at twisting things and framing things to sound like they're winning. I mean, most of it's confidence. Like debating is largely confidence.

Dude, I saw a video. That's why Ben's so attractive. Yeah, he's a fucking, you get chatted to me. Daddy Ben. Daddy Ben. Have you seen him flex? Yes. Have you seen Daddy Ben flex?

I have seen him flex. He flexes every time he debates, dude. Did you know he's 6'5"? Yes. I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought he'd be shorter, like at least like 6'4", 6. Did you know he's 6'5"? Yes. I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought he'd be shorter, like at least like 6'4", 6'3", but he's 6'5". That's without shoes.

Yeah, when he wears those platforms too. He's like 6'7", when he puts those bad boys on. What if Ben Shapiro was fucking 6'7"? He'd be terrifying. Because not only would his muscles be big, so would his brain. Yeah. And that's a man that...

He'd have the brain, the brawn, and the beauty, because what he says is... It's like a... Now I can't help but imagine like a seven foot tall, beautiful, just long, flowing, thick haired Ben Shapiro. Would his voice be any different?

No. Deeper? No. No, it'd still be the... Yeah. Meh. I mean, listen, I'm seven feet. I win in the argument automatically.

Yes. I could beat you up. I think if he had that body type, that's how he would debate. Instead of using the talking points he's paid to use he would just be like well, I mean, if you want to really talk about the facts I could beat you. With one punch I could probably knock you out

I could take you out back right now Causing severe damage to your spinal column Whiplash, baby I could cave in your cranium right now What was the O face for? Not the O face? Not that face. Sorry, not that face.

The oh my God face. The OMG face. Yeah. Matt made a wide-eyed going gaspy look at his phone. Okay, we're going to play a game. And if you get this correct, you get a reward of your choosing. Oh, I get to choose of your choosing. Oh. I get to choose anything as my reward.

So go ahead and pick your reward now. But I also want you to pick a punishment for yourself if you get it wrong. It can be anything. Is it easy? Is it going to be easy? I mean, it's... Are you setting me up to fail on purpose? No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not... Is there a chance that I could... Yes, 100%. It's not an unfair question. It's just like, I say you have a 50-50 shot. Okay. My reward? You're going to be guessing a number, basically.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. And the range is not that big. Okay. Reward? You have to go get me a glass of water or a plastic cup of water to drink and my punishment

is um I have to get you a water to drink setting the stakes high here man I know I think I think I might have gone a little too far, honestly.

But. Well, you're locked in. Yeah. Okay. Shake on it? Shake on it. Okay. Ryan, your question. Yeah. How tall is Ben Shapiro? How tall is Ben Shapiro?

Yeah. Now, do you think I made that O face because I was shocked at how tall he actually is or how short he actually is? I'm going to say Ben is 6'1". Looks like you're going to have to be giving me a cup of water, Ryan. You know why? Why? Ben Shapiro's real height is five foot, six and three quarters.

Oh. He's short. I thought he was going to be one of those people you made the O phase because I thought he was going to end up being one of those people who's like Bill O'Reilly. No.

Bill O'Reilly is like six five. But I felt like Ben Shapiro might have been like, oh, he looks small behind that desk, but when he gets up, and he stands over you, and looks down upon us. I was like maybe 5'9".

Yeah. But 5'6 and 3 quarters is... I knew I was overshooting it, but I had a feeling there was a reason for that look. No, that look was, I was shocked at how short he actually is. Nothing wrong with a short king. No, absolutely not. I think Napoleon was literally a short king. Yes.

He was a short emperor. He died and was, wasn't he like put on some island? Yeah, he was exiled to the island of Helena. Yeah, so. I think. Was he actually short or was that just like a smear thing that his enemies came up with? He wasn't like short, short, but I mean, a lot of it was a smear campaign. Oh, I like this.

I have a feeling he was known to be a smaller stature in terms of build i like this i'll look up how tall napoleon was in a second but quora that that website for q a stuff the legend said it's very nice thanks how tall has been shapiro they didn't even like add anything else they just asked how tall is Ben Shapiro. James Chapman replies, he's 5'9". How our left is so twisted that they're even going to claim he's lying about his height. The fact that his

height is being challenged tells you nothing about Ben but a lot about leftists. So is he 5'9"? Or 6'? Why does Ben Shapiro lie about his height? Oh, I like this Quora thing. I caught my 14-year-old son watching Ben Shapiro. What should I do?

Ben Shapiro is... You said 5'6". 5'6". Everyone's rounding. 5'7". Every website I find in everything says 5'7". I love people going out of their way to defend him over two inches, like typing paragraphs like,

Okay, no! I love people going out of their way to defend him over two inches, like typing paragraphs like, okay, no. Like if he were any taller, it would make his opinions less shitty. Well, every inch you lose online with Ben Shapiro makes his opinions less valid. Ben Shapiro height 5'4". They're like making it out to be like the shorter he is, the dumber he is. What is Ben Shapiro's IQ? Well, let's go over his feats.

Ben Shapiro. He has feet? Does he have feet pics? Oh, I'm looking that up next. Ben Shapiro feet pics. Yeah, he looked that up. He went to study at UCLA two years earlier than his peers. So, went to Harvard Law School and excelled at it. Published

seven books by the time he was 33. Guess what? I'm 26. Ryan's 28. We've published a book and it's a New York Times bestseller. So, suck it, Ben. Could rock the violin when he was 12 years old. Now, that is true. I'll give Ben that one. He could rock the violin at 12 years old. Never loses on the debating ground. Ever.

Tends to humiliate anyone he debates with, with logic and witty insults. Is the epitome of intellectual honesty. That's the only picture I could find. He's wearing socks, man. I know. Whoa, wait, wait, let me see his feet. That looks like he has the same foot condition I have

with the bunions, like the shape. I think he's flexing his toes up. Oh. He has a smirk in that picture. To wrap it up, Ryan, Ben shapiro is the epitome of intellectual honesty demonstrated throughout the election when he was critical of his own side for supporting trump and never once lied to push an agenda my guess it's probably in excess of 140 maybe 150 give or take though i wouldn't be surprised about that what do you think about that

Though I wouldn't be surprised if it was even higher. What do you think about that? Luke, can you put that up? Zoom in on that, Luke. Now, Luke, put yourself flexing. Compare the two right now, Luke. Put the two next to each other, Luke. Yeah, for the visual enjoyers of the podcast. For those listening on audio, they don't exist anymore.

Stay mad. Yeah, you guys can stay mad because SuperMegaCast stays winning. Winning. Hey! You got a little tiger's blood in you today, buddy. Yeah, but thank you, Luke, for that. Oh, I recently, as of writing this, got into an argument with a couple of users claiming Ben must not be that smart because of his transgender and religious beliefs.

I was just like, seriously? Oh. And one more point. And then it's just a screenshot of the tweet that says, facts don't care about your feelings. Ah. What do you think your IP is, realistically? My IP address?

I don't know. It's kind of a hard thing to guess. Did I say IP? Yeah. I meant to say IQ. Okay. Guess your IP, dude. 247.99.81.067.

Go ahead. Hack me, losers. That probably is someone's actual IP address somewhere. Well, too bad. They're getting hacked now. Thanks to Matt Watson. Some poor dude in Istanbul is trying to file his divorce papers after his wife cheated on him, and now he's just going to get DDoSed.

Here. What you looking at? What you looking at the iq scale okay just to kind of see where we think i think i'd probably be a little below average dude no you're smart as hell doesn't like jokes aside isn't iq like about logic like i so i they test about like actual subjects and shit like that? Give you actual problems? No, I don't think it's- it's not like your knowledge on topics. It's more of like your reasoning and logic skills, I believe. Uh, so... I, uh, have never taken an IQ test.

We should take an IQ test for a video. For- yes. Like actually find out our IQs. We should take an IQ test for a video. Yes. Like, actually find out our IQs. What do we call it right now? 3,000. Doesn't even go that high, dude. Well, watch it. I'm about to make it go that high. They're just going to be sitting there and just, like, grading me, like,

Jesus Christ. I've never seen it. They have to call the Pentagon. Get the president on the phone. They put me in, like like this giant cylindrical glass tube and I'm just floating in it. You're floating in like clear liquid. You have like anodes and shit

like hooked up to your brain. We've never seen anything like it. We can't let China or Russia know about this. Here's our most valuable asset. They keep me locked away to one day you come and rescue me and it has that shot

where it zooms in on the tank and my eyes just go poof. But you look so decrepit at this point. What have they done to you? I have to break you out. You've lost all muscle mass except for your brain. You wear me as a little backpack. Come on, buddy.

And they're shooting at us, and I kill someone with my bare hands, and I get their gun, and I'm walking. It's boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Like in District 9 when they're breaking out of the facility. Exactly. Great movie. Great movie, for real. As much as... I was just going to say the median IQ

looks like it's 100. 95% of people are between 70 and 130. With only 0.1% being above 145. So no one else is up to 3,000 or anywhere close to 3,000. No. So let's... if you guys want to see that I would love to go get our IQs tested

well what do you guys think your IQ is put it in the comment section down below I got tested in 6th grade I'm 142 it's like okay dude cool people that got tested in middle school or high school that doesn't count

well most people are probably going to comment a high IQ Because they don't feel bad about it I doubt people would post their Well as many people would post their low IQ scores That's true People wouldn't lie on the internet There's more negative connotation to having a lower IQ But don't you think someone with a higher IQ would be more prone to lie?

They'd be better at it probably They might lie and make it A little more up Which is a low IQ move to do Because if you already have a high IQ they'd be better at it probably. They might lie and make it a little more up. Which is a low IQ move to do. Because if you already have a high IQ, then it shows that you have a lower IQ. That's why they have a kind of a mid-tier IQ, not a super high IQ.

I would... I'll take a guess, honestly. I think that I'm probably, if I'm being fully honest, I think that I'm probably a little over 100. Okay. That's my honest guess. We'll find out. What do you think you're at? I have no clue. I honestly, I'm probably a little over 100. Okay. That's my honest guess. We'll find out.

What do you think you're at? I have no clue. I honestly, I'm not kidding. I think you have a higher IQ than me by far. I don't know how to gauge that, really. I'm bad with logic questions. I just think about it. I took a logic class freshman year of college,

and there were two grades, midterm and final. Got 50 on both. Well, you just said it wasn't like a test so but he got he gave me a 90 overall

because on my final did you put a smiley face in it or a winky face or something I put on lipstick before and I kissed it no I wrote a note that was like

I was I was just like dude I it was a prereq for the business school and I was like I can't fail this and take it again

it sucks I went to like the tutoring sessions you sent him like a crying note like hey help me no I just wrote on school and I was like I can't fail this and take it again it sucks I went to like the tutoring session you sent him like a crying note like hey help me no I just wrote on the bottom I was like um I really appreciated this class and the way you taught it I

like the way my brain works this stuff is harder for me to grasp but I appreciate part of me sorry to interrupt you Matt but part of me feels like when we recorded something yesterday it was the exact same okay okay hey hey yeah they're the exact same. Okay, okay. Hey, hey. Yeah, they're the same.

I think I'm just talking closer and louder. Okay. So you weren't really talking right now. Oh, no, no, no. I was just more so I didn't see much of the waveform. It was more for because I know yesterday we shot something and I think the gain was put up, but it might have been on the other. Yeah, it was. This is, this is.

Okay. Sorry to interrupt you. No, it's okay. It's okay. What were you talking about? I'm on track get back on track I just said that I was Very I was appreciative of his course

And I enjoyed it And even though it was hard for me to grasp the concept of I tried and thank you And he gave me the final score of a 90 For the class which is an A Did you wave at Jim? Oh hey Jim What's up? Got some news?

Got some tea? Is there some tea? The mini-pod after. Yes. The mini-podcast after? Super Mega After. That people can watch on our Patreon? Yeah, Super Mega After Dark.

Oh, okay. Yeah, remember to do that. Okay. Thanks, Jim. We would have forgotten. Thanks for reminding me because we also have to run some ad reads, but this is a little something new we're trying.

Love you, Jim. Goodbye. Okay, so I was able to get my hands, because usually the smoke shops are sold out. What is this? I've been looking at it. But I finally went in and they had a supply. This is invisibility potion.

No way, dude. So I'm holding up the vial right now. You've been talking about this shit. I haven't tried it yet. For the audio listeners, just to... Yep, hold up. It's like a beaker. That's invisibility potion. So you know I'm actually holding something.

We're not just saying shit. Matt's watch went off for some reason. It's 3 p.m. So before the ad reads, just because we need to give it some time to settle, we're going to take it. See what happens. Are we drinking this on the podcast? Oh, yeah.

Okay. Watch this. How is it? Oh, shit. Hey, I don't know. Not too much, man. Dude, how much are you supposed to take? I have more body mass than you.

That's true. That's true. That's actually like, that doesn't taste too bad. Smells good. I heard a lot of reviews saying that the taste was like not people's favorite. It was like one of the parts that it's almost got like a fruity taste. Yeah.

But when we come back from the podcast, it should be good. How long does it take to kick in? Five minutes or so okay well let's take an ad break and uh we will be right back yep i'm excited angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in

everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that.

Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning,

in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome back, everyone.

Back from the ads. It looks like it worked to me. Or maybe it doesn't look like it. Well, you get the joke I'm making here? Yes, I do. But it looks like it did work. Yeah. I mean, it's cool that you can just buy this shit at a smoke shop.

I know. Is that a California thing? I guess. You can buy shrooms at smoke shops now in California. A lot of stuff is changing in California, thank God. Yeah. But big news. Yeah?

We're super mega fans. Oh, what is this big news? Guess what? Chicken butt. Yeah. Is that really what you were going to say? Yeah, yeah. How'd you know?

We share the same brain cell, dude. We share one brain cell. Yeah, we're overriding it today. I know, man. Is that really what you were just going to say? Well, guess why? Chicken thigh? Chicken pot pie? Chicken pie. I'm writing it today. I know, man. Is that really what you were just going to say? Well, guess why. Chicken thigh?

Chicken pot pie? Chicken pie. I saw a tweet the other day. That's it. That's it? Yeah. No, I saw a tweet for someone that was like, I just got the chicken joke.

The cross the road, the whole point is like, it means that it's dying and going to the other side. Oh man, I should get an autism test and all this stuff. And then everyone was like, no, that's actually not the point. It's an anti-joke. That's the point. To get to the chicken on the other side. Remember that one?

Yeah, man. Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the other side. Oh, what? It's nothing like the 1800s. Is it? I don't know.

I don't know the history of that joke. Man, they were popping off in the 1800s with the other side. Oh, what? Isn't that from like the 1800s? Is it? I don't know. I don't know the history of that joke. Man, they were popping off in the 1800s with their fucking jokes, dude. I want to look up some jokes from the 1800s. Do you think there's any medieval jester type shit where we would have been busting our balls laughing? Oh, dude. You and I sitting down in a little courtyard watching a jester, we probably would have been cackling our asses off, dude. We'd be like two little peasants and like scrubs sitting there just like... I'm the blacksmith and you're my son.

I'm the white smith. Why no white smith? That's what I've been wondering, man. Why no white smith? You know? Think about it. I'm glad you are thinking about it, though. Why is it even called a blacksmith? Was it just a guy

named Smith who was black and made weapons and they're like oh that's blacksmith. Maybe from making the weapons he gets soot all over his face or some

maybe some ash. So they're named after basically medieval blackface. Yeah. Yeah. You know let me let me

look deep into my mind and look up why they were called. You know, I'm searching this on my invisible phone right now. Yes, of course. And I spilled a little on my phone. And I was talking while I was typing. I just typed why they called blacksmith. The process which blacksmithing got its name is actually a fairly simple one.

Iron is one of the common materials that blacksmiths forge, and when it's heated, it turns black. Wait. So close to my thing, kind of. The iron turns black, yeah. So it still had to do with color, unfortunately. You know, even back then. I don't think things should be about color. I don't think things should ever be about color.

They should be about the content of your character. Only time I care about color is when it's Splatoon. Yep. Can't even talk about. You know what sucks, dude? Is because of the whole, like, Splatoon joke, the old Super Mega Splatoon joke, like, I can't openly talk about or enjoy Splatoon 3. You can. You just, you need to be confident and show that it doesn't bother you.

I've been playing Splatoon 3, and I love it. It's fun. What's, uh, do they have any, what are some new mechanics, if they have any? Um. A new mode, maybe? There are new modes uh weapons i mean it really is just splatoon again splatoon again just with some new new new maps does it look i mean it looks great i mean with that art style it's kind of like hard to look better than it was yeah Yeah, I mean, it already looks pretty good, so. No, I'm really enjoying it. I feel like either I'm just really rusty or they made it harder.

Well, people have had like three games long to get good, you know? Dude, I remember the first time I ever played Splatoon. That's when it was the best. The first Splatoon when that came out? Yes. First time I played it was on the Wii U at my ex-girlfriend's apartment

which Markiplier was staying at with me for a night. Nice. Remember that? Yep. And Mark, well I remember Mark showed up

because we were in South Carolina and he needed a place to crash. So I asked my girlfriend at the time, I was like, okay, Mark is sleepy. Can he like sleep in your bed for a bit?

Mark is sleepy? Mark is sleepy. Mark's sleepy. Listen bed for a bit? Mark is sleepy? Mark is sleepy. Mark's sleepy. Listen, baby, Markiplier's pretty sleepy. Baby, he's had a long day. You just hear him in the background. Oh, what a long day. He comes out into the kitchen

in his nightcap and his little candle. You know, I could really use a bedtime snack. Makes eye contact with your ex. Well, who was your current girlfriend at the time? Yeah, well, they went into the room together and... Who knows what happened? But listen, it's Markiplier. I don't mind.

He's had sex with every one of my girlfriends. Yes. Including current girlfriend. He's had sex with many times. Really? Yes. Which one? Because there are like...

There are a few. Two of the three. Okay. You broke up with two of them and I forgot how much that left you with. Nope. Those were, I was at five at that point. Oh, okay. Current girlfriends.

So now I have three current girlfriends. Okay. Mark has had sex with two of them. Okay. The third one I do think it's happening. That's not even counting your boyfriends. No, he has had sex with all the boyfriends. Yes.

He gets to use them whenever he wants. Oh, I'm fine with that. Yeah. You know. They're fine with it too, the way well it's my decision you know the boyfriends are comfortable with it it's like a subdom relationship thing

they like Markiplier no but I remember like Mark came in and you know it's a small apartment in Columbia South Carolina this was 2015 and I'm like hey yeah we were like you like hey you can go take a nap in there mark mark goes into there and just passes out in my girlfriend's bed goes into markiplier's famous hibernative state yeah he was in there

sleeping for i think he slept all night in there actually he just took a nap and then was just out all night. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. He yells in his sleep. Mark. Mark having night tears. Chica! Bonnie's at the window! Oh, God! Mark, are you okay?

Not again! Doc, I! Mark, are you okay? Not again! Doc, I've been having those dreams again. Oh, Mark, have you been taking your meds? Mark, having night terrors to Freddy Fazbear is honestly a hysterical concept. Just, just... They just don't understand that that was my nom. Market player telling off a Vietnam War veteran. You don't know what I've been through.

You don't know what it's like sitting at my desk in my mansion when Freddy Fastbears went around the corner. Especially on the second night when Foxy comes out on the stage. Runs down the hallway. I'm sorry. I can't talk. Drops to the ground. Ah! I'm sorry. I can't talk. Drops to the ground. He has like that shell shock face.

Just like staring. He has that thousand yard stare. Yeah, but fuck Mark. Ryan. That's my boyfriend's and girlfriend's jobs. That is true.

Man, you ever thought about maybe we should just become Mormon because then we could have multiple wives and it's totally kosher. Well, we already do and we don't need to be Mormon to do it. That's true. Man, you ever thought about maybe we should just become Mormon? Because then we could have multiple wives and it's totally kosher. Well, we already do and we don't need to be Mormon to do it. That's true.

But moving to Salt Lake seems like a cool city. Salt Lake City. Is that the national anthem of Salt Lake City? I hope so. They just chant that over and over? Over and over. They all gather around Salt Lake and they go, Salt Lake. And they do like the back and forth like kumbaya.

Okay, what were they saying? Like Bahudoris or what were they saying in the Grinch? At the end, they do like the back and forth like kumbaya. Okay, what were they saying? Like Bahudoris or what were they saying in Grinch at the end? They're like, Bahudore, Bahudore, welcome Christmas, blah, blah, blah. I never knew what they were saying. So to me, it always sounded like Bahudore. I thought it was Bahudore. Bahudore. Sounds like some cold shit what do they say uh they're saying um dahudores

so so just does that mean anything in another language or is it just gibberish is it just uh um dr seuss gibberish Dahu means daughter and no oh Dahu is the words daughter and who smushed together and Doris equals gift the one

this closely reminds me of the similar sounding Scottish name Doris that's just why are they all singing about a daughter being a gift

a beautiful gift because Cindy Lou man she saved Christmas true so they're all saying sir your daughter is a beautiful gift and the entire Lou, man, she saved Christmas. True. So they're all saying, sir, your daughter is a beautiful gift, and the entire town starts singing about how beautiful his daughter is, his child daughter. In my mind, like,

from what I got out of that scene was that that was just like a holiday song that has been sung for years and years. They had to have planned that, though, singing about the beautiful daughter. Like, that was all, like, they didn't just instantly, like, they all instantly knew the words to sing the song Beautiful Daughter, like, daughter gift. Maybe it is just a, they didn't just instantly, like they all instantly knew the words to sing the song Beautiful Daughter. Like Daughter Gift.

Maybe it is just a, maybe in their time realm, you know, Beautiful Daughter, The Gift, Jesus was a woman. Oh, that is possible in that timeline. Christ was a woman. It's possible that Christ was a woman in the Who. Especially with that long hair. They could have just thought Christ was a woman because that that long girly hair that damn long hair yeah what if jesus was a woman it's the biggest cover-up of all time da vinci code sequel come on come on hollywood let's go jesus was trans get my ideas honestly we need to walk into warner brothers studios right now well since they made ariel

black i i'm not surprised anymore i saw a a tweet that was like, I pitch a compromise and it was just Rachel Dolezal as Ariel, like Photoshop. We should have Rachel Dolezal on the podcast. We've had her on the Patreon. Have you seen her OnlyFans? No. Luke and I are big Dolezal heads.

Dolezal has an OnlyFans? Yes. I'm sure it's very like safe for work. And there's feet pics. What? Luke got me a, Luke, throw up a picture of this. Subscription to Rachel Dolezal's an OnlyFans? Yes. I'm sure it's very safe for work. There's feet pics. What? Luke got me a... Luke, throw up a picture of this. Subscription to Rachel Dolezal's OnlyFans?

But one day I checked my mail, and I just have an envelope in the mail. And I'm like, who is this from? And I look, and it says Rachel Dolezal from her apartment. And I was like, what the fuck? Why do I have something in the mail from Rachel Dolezal? It was like a cardboard envelope. It was a big thank you?

I opened it up and it was Rachel thanking you and I for what we've done for the black community. Really? Yeah. What did we do? A lot.

Okay. Just making sure you remembered all that we did. Of course, I remember everything. But no, I opened it and it was a picture of Rachel Dolezal looking like a fine forest minx

Sitting there like like a like an elven maiden By like a creek I think and she's scampily clad and it was signed Scampily clad yeah, is it scantily clad okay? Sorry? I mean could be she was scamp Well, she was a little scam looks like like an elf queen so scampily clad right Okay, sorry. But I mean, it could be a little scamp. She was scamp. Well, she was a little scamp. She looks like an elf queen. So scampily clad, right? She's scampering around the forest floor. But I noticed that she cut her feet off in the picture. You start to see a little bit and she cut it off.

And I know she did that on purpose. So Luke, thank you. I've always, I've always, it's on my fridge. It's been on my fridge for over a year. So every morning when I wake up and walk downstairs to go to work, I see that picture of Rachel Dolezal. It gives me inspiration. It reminds me that there's people in my life

who love and care about me. And on top of that, I also have a signed picture of Soulja Boy on my fridge. Okay. From Luke? No, I don't remember where I actually got that. I think maybe I just ordered that for myself. It makes tracks.

Yeah. I mean, you got me a wonderfully framed picture, like a signed framed picture of Uncle Cracker. People around the office continue to take and put up places. What's the deal with that? They take it off of my desk. And they put it up like near the ceiling or something. It's like, what's the joke there? And it's also, it's a gift Matt gave me.

It's Uncle Cracker. So why are you taking my gift off of my desk and making a mockery of it? I don't get it. Because I didn't, did I get the Uncle Cracker gift for Justin? No. Did I get the Uncle Cracker gift for Jim?

No. No. I don't think Jim's ever touched it. The Uncle Cracker gift for Layton? It's Layton and Justin. Yeah. I don't even know if Luke knows that we have an Uncle Cracker thing.

Well, now he does. Now he's going to try to steal it. Luke, he's sitting there editing this right now, and he's going, Wait, what? Do I really have to do that? There's an Uncle Cracker. Here, Luke, put up a picture of yourself with Uncle Cracker. Luke, like, the other day he was sitting at his desk here, and he was like, You guys have really been mentioning me a lot in the podcast.

Because you edit the podcast now, Luke. You're the honorary third podcast member you're jamie like on the joe rogan show yeah luke uh throw up an estimation of how many cigarettes you smoked in the year 2021 he smoked a lot of cigarettes yep now luke throw up an estimation just a wild guess of how many people died on 9-11. Don't look it up. Show me your guess. And now put the real number right next to it. That's good.

Yeah. That was close, Luke. Very close. But not exact. Which means you forgot a few souls. Or he might have overcompensated. For a few souls. Which shows that he might have a little bit of a racial bias towards

middle eastern people by assuming that there was that much of a of a death toll or maybe he's counting the pilots that's true if you want to call them that are they i said this recently they technically piloted a plane so i bet you couldn't do that i bet you if you were tasked they don't know how to fly a plane for taking a plane and flying it into the World Trade Center, you would not be able to. I probably could. If you took flying lessons, but not right. I'm planning on taking flying lessons, and the first thing I'm going to do is, can I even make that threat as a joke? What?

I don't think I can make that threat as a joke and then actually pursue a pilot's license. I am, for all the Megheads interested that already do this, I'm looking at flying lessons and getting certified as a pilot. You were looking at all the buildings you could potentially fly your plane into, too? Listen, all I'm saying is, what the hell happened with Building 7? Looks like a demolition if you look at it.

That's all I'm saying. Think about it. 9-11 conspiracies, that one is the one that does get me going a little. Mine is the falling man. Why didn't he just fly? God damn. I don't know if we can keep

that in. I mean, what's the deal with falling? You know? They never identified him. They think they did, but it's kind of hard to identify someone from a- Seth MacFarlane. You know, dude, if Mark Wahlberg was there at ground zero, he could have caught him.

Things would have been a lot different. Things would have been a lot different with Mark Wahlberg. Especially if he was there for Pearl Harbor. No, we know who the falling man was. It was Tom Hanks. That is true. Remember? From Incredibly Loud and Incredibly Close? Yes. Sandra Bullock played his

wife. It's implied that Tom Hanks was the falling man. Yes. Are our fans too young to even know what the falling man is? I wouldn't think so. It's a famous picture. It's a famous, very depressing, sad... You don't need to go look it up if you haven't seen it. So why are you making fun of it? Well, Matt was making fun of it. I wasn't think so. It's a famous picture. It's a famous, very depressing, sad. You don't need to go look it up if you haven't seen it. So why are you making fun of it?

Well, Matt was making fun of it. I wasn't. People get our voices mixed up a lot. Especially with this invisibility potion. That was Matt saying the joke. I just looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed. Well, I couldn't even tell. Yeah.

Are they furrowed right now? Not anymore. I got over it. Guess what I'm doing right now? What? Flipping you off. What? With both hands.

Wait a second. Dude. Yeah. Oh, zoom in on this, Luke. I'm pulling out my invisible penis. Yo. Look at this, Luke. You better be zooming in on my invisible penis. Oh, dude, I can pull mine

out, too. Yep. Zoom in on Matt. And I'm gonna flop this shit around. Ready? Now, go back and forth between both of us flapping our genitals around. Helicopter, bitch. Yep. I think I'm just gonna leave my cock out.

I'm gonna leave my cock out too. One ball though, not two. I mean, we can't see each other's penises. Oh, I can okay, you know, I'll fully take my pants off then. Okay. Dude, I am, guess what? I'm erect right now and you can't even tell. I am standing stiff.

I'm like a soldier saluting the flag. Let me see if I can, what was that? What did I hit? Dude, that better not be what I think it is. What am I hitting? That's my leg. Oh, okay. Hold up.

Okay. That's my belly. How about... That's my dick. You see, it's hard, right? Yeah, yeah. It's fucking hard as shit. Yeah, it's standing straight up.

Jesus Christ. Hold up. Do you need a... Thank you. Hold on a second Give me a little more Give me a little more spit I think you missed that time

That's on the Wait wait wait wait see Center of the chair like center of the chair Wait I'm following your voice Okay yeah yeah just drool it out drool it out Oh yeah I got it I got it I got it I got it You want help here reach down right there yeah Yeah you are hard buddy drool it out drool it out oh yeah i got it i got it i got it i got it let me just you want to help

here reach down right there yeah yeah you are hard but i know right god damn man you're getting better at this man thanks hold it hold up there's let me oh my god fuck dude you've been practicing you want to go to you want to get a you want to go to you want to get a I haven't showered since yesterday so I could yeah it's a bit spicy down there spicy yeah oh that's that's like a you know men can actually get yeast infections you know that and it's I've been struggling with that recently oh well I wasn't trying to make you feel bad no I know it's just an observation it will it get on nah I don't you can get a yeast infection in your throat oh so actually let's maybe go gurgle some mouthwash.

Yeah. How long does this stuff last? It should be wearing off soon. It'd be awkward if it wore off while I was sitting here erect and naked. But it didn't. And it won't. I'm going to pull my pants back up, just to be safe. And let's go gurgle some mouthwash.

Well, I don't need to. You do. I do. You can at least put some medical cream. If you know that you have a problem, you shouldn't try to spread it. I've had it for a couple months. It's fine. Okay.

I'm used to the itch by now. Smell, though, is something else, right? Yeah. We'll be right back. All right. Let's go to ads. Introducing Tim's new Savory Pinwheels, the perfect flaky and flavorful snack for those on the go,

like me, who's recording this while snacking. Ooh, delicious. Try the roasted red pepper and Swiss or caramelized onion and parmesan pinwheels only at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Welcome back, everyone.

It seems, yeah, it's wearing off. Yep, there we go. Coming back into picture, baby. Look at that. Nice. Look, now we're big and strong again. You can see us. That's right.

That's right, baby. That shit was cool, man. That shit was... I might be down to do that again sometime. Okay. Maybe every episode of the podcast. Okay. Sure.

Well, not every episode. I almost feel like we should just make it like... I mean... Do they have other potions at smoke shops? I've never fucked around with potions. I could check. This is the one that has been not really on the shelves that much because it's so rare because a lot of people want it.

How much was it? How much? Yeah. It was like plus tax. It was like 15 bucks. Really? That's it? Yeah.

For a whole fucking thing of invisibility. Yeah, I know. It's crazy? That's it? Yeah. For a whole fucking thing of invisibility. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. That's not bad. But, I mean, you'd think it would be more expensive because there's a lot,

there's a big market for it, but. Yeah, especially after Harry Potter. A lot of people see it as like a party trick, so it's cheap. Yeah, I get that, man. I really want to

have another Halloween party this year. You should. Last one was fun. I know. That magician was something else. And it was the first time I did ****. I would, I'll put it here, I'll put out a nice word of advice for everybody.

It doesn't matter if you live in a big city or a middle of nowhere. Okay. I would avoid doing any kinds of... Hard drugs? No, hard drugs are okay. But I would avoid doing any kind of... Hard drugs? No, hard drugs are okay. But I would avoid doing any kind of powder or pill, especially in 2022 in this day and age because fentanyl is an all-time high.

One sniff of the stuff and you're dead and you have no idea that it's even in there. And something scary also to keep in mind for you little drug heads out there, you can use test strips and you can test things like cocaine or ketamine or whatever, but guess what? There are fentanyl analogs that won't show up on test strips. So, just keep that in mind.

Really? Yeah. Okay. So, it's what I've heard. Good to know. I still don't understand the reason for cutting drugs with fentanyl because fentanyl is, is it cheaper? But I mean it's way more powerful than morphine and- Because it gets you addicted.

Is that it? Isn't it more addictive? It makes it more addictive? Well yeah but it's crazy it's a completely different drug from like cocaine so you do cocaine and then- I don't think it's just to be like, oh we need to cut it with something else because then they would just use like fucking baking soda, whatever the fuck. But yeah I think it's just to get their clients hooked on it. And then people fucking die. Like Mac Miller. Mac Miller.

There were like three or four comedians in LA, I think last year or maybe earlier this year. They went out to a bar and someone was like, hey, you guys want to do some cocaine? And they're comedians and they're like, yeah. They all did it. They all did a line and all four of them died. Jesus. It's that easy with fentanyl. Well, isn't it like one of the leading causes, if not the leading causes of drug-related deaths is fentanyl at this point?

It's everywhere right now. I don't want to be spitting non-facts. Well, I mean, I don't think it hurts anyone to even to say that to over exaggerate fentanyl because it is we have a friend who was in a two week coma from it. From a fentanyl overdose. They had no idea. Well, he said he, I mean, we already mentioned

him, Luke. He said he tested it wrong. So. Well, testing in his mind was lining up three or four lines of it and then doing it and seeing how he felt. And then watching, I can't remember, some TV show. Do you remember what he was watching? Ugly Betty.

Yeah. Yeah. Which for me, that was... I am sorry. I was not expecting Ugly Betty of all shows. That's like around that New Girl era, or maybe it was before New Girl. Ugly Betty?

Dude, Ugly Betty. i was trying to think of like a very obscure television show that you'll remember from like when you were like 12 but like what it wasn't really like that popular but everyone might remember give the bitch some glasses and let it be done with ugly ugly whore she is she is very pretty in real life yes betty's also just very pretty as the character too i I don't feel like Betty's ugly. Yeah, let me take another. You'd pork that. You'd pork Betty. Watch. I'll give you my real honest answer here. 2006. We're talking about the actress. We're talking about the character of Betty. Okay? We're not sexualizing the actress here. I mean, we technically are because she plays the character.

Yeah, I think I would. Right? Yeah, I would. The only thing that bothers me a little bit is there's this one picture and she looks a lot like Coconut Head from Ned's Declassified. And that would... Dude, what do you think Coconut Head's up to these days? Do you think he's a Chad now? Well, he was always a Chad.

If I were an actor like that, I definitely would try to have like a Chad transformation. Rob Pinkston. Rob? He's 34. Kingston? Pinkston. Pinkston? Yeah, that's what he looks like now.

Oh shit! You can kinda see it in the eyes still. Yeah, you can. He looks like a... wait, let me see his face again. Can you get a full shot? That's a good like vine boom sound effect picture. Yeah, he went from coconut head to pineapple head more like.

Nice. You know what I'm saying? Zoom in on that, Luke. Because he has pineapple head. Listen here, football head. What's Drake Bell up to these days? Is he still in Mexico? Chilling out? No no i don't think he's allowed to go to mexico um let's see uh i've seen spanish articles uh frank drake who led search for life on other planets dies at 92 oh that's sad drake yeah drake drake drake died that Drake and Drake Drake Drake died Drake Bell on child endangerment

sentence I was very stupid when I found out she was underage bro why Kyle Massey did that too man did what Kyle Massey got in trouble for some some children stuff he was I, grooming a minor that he knew since she was four. Do you think it's safe still? I don't know if you should drink anymore. Because we're both pretty much fully back.

You're right, you're right, you're right. I mean, it tastes good, man. It's fun, it is fun. What, that lasts like 25 minutes? Imagine taking someone and driving home. Dude, the cops I'm just gonna- It's fun. It is fun. What, that lasts like 25 minutes? Imagine taking some and then driving home. Dude, the cops would pull you over and be so confused. And then you could just roll down your window. They'd come-

And then they'd walk back to the cop car. You'd start going again. They'd pull you over again. Roll down the window. That would be a good prank. I want that bumper sticker that says, only gay cops pull me over. That would be a good prank. I want that bumper sticker that says only gay cops pull me over.

A lot of people who are in like little, do you know what groms are? Like little motorcycles? People do like, there's little grom gangs that go around like Santa Monica and LA in general too. No, I mean I see the guys on the bikes always doing the wheelies near my house. There's like, think of like a motorcycle and then make it small. Like a crotch rocket size? Like a shrink, no, no, no. Like think of like a motorcycle and then make it small just like a crotch rocket size like a shrink right now Like it looks like a toy What are you describing your cock and balls no I was just gonna say They're like these things oh

Yeah, so there's like groups who go out like that and they'll have If you pull me over your gay on the back of their t-shirts and stuff. That's awesome, dude. Because they can easily get away from cops, especially in New York City. Oh, I've seen those videos on dash cams where dudes outrun the cops on their bikes. Because, I mean, it's easy, especially in a city, like a dense city. I saw one that was on I-26 in South Carolina and the guy was going like 130 and he just fucking, and he got away. Good for him.

Did he get his license? I guess he didn't have well I've been watching a lot of not recently but I have watched a lot of like running from cops compilations on dash cams we watched some road rage last night we did we did I had dreams about road rage now because of that of you getting the one no just witnessing some wait yeah

okay no I had a dream that some road rage happened in front of us, and the dude gets out of his car, and they start yelling at each other, and then they broke into like a choreographed dance thing together, and everyone was like, oh, they got us. How long ago was this dream? Last night.

Oh, okay. Probably because we watched those videos last night. We also watched some other videos last night. Yeah, we did. Porn. We watched porn together. We watched porn. Ron and I watched porn together,

and people might say that's gay there's nothing gay about it strengthens the relationship between brother and brother i said wrong with it i said this last night the ancient romans used to do heterosexual male bonding where they would get naked and they would all get erect and they would give each other blow jobs well they would never there'll never be any ejaculation you don't have to ejaculate from a blow job i never have no one's that good at a blowjob. No. People try to pretend like they are, but.

I'm so good. Yeah, bro. Okay. You choke in that shit like you're strangling someone to death. Sometimes they bite it off and you have to get it reattached. No one knows what they're doing. One time a girl swallowed mine. Whole.

She bit it and swallowed it. She didn't mean to. She bit it and swallowed it. She didn't mean to. She bit it and she was so surprised. You have to wait for the digestive... Yeah, luckily my penis is acid-proof, so it made it out alive. Put it in a bag for you. It's not fully acid-proof.

There was some damage, but it's since healed relatively well. There's still some scarring, but... Well, I was going to talk about the Twitch drama, but I guess that's old news when this comes out. Who cares? We probably want our opinions. Yeah, you guys want our opinions on the Twitch drama? It's stupid.

I think that, you know, there's always the war of it's like, what's better, Twitch streamers or YouTubers? YouTubers. Take a look, guys. YouTubers slash Twitch streamers. Listen, streamers just turn on their camera and sit there and beg for money. And go on YouTube and watch other people's fucking content and get more money off of them streaming it than the people put into creating it. We are sitting here. Look, we built this set.

We make highly produced content. Do you see this sign? This wasn't cheap. Do you see it hanging from Home Depot chains? Those aren't cheap. Nope. You see this sign? This wasn't cheap. Do you see it hanging from Home Depot chains? Those aren't cheap. Nope. You see this table? It's pretty cheap, actually.

The table's pretty cheap. The Pickle Rick motion-activated thing that when it's turned on and not out of battery? Not cheap. Candles. This candle's almost gone. Brian goes on vacation? Not cheap. Definitely not cheap.

Not cheap. This is book four. One of the most expensive things we have in the not cheap not cheap this is book four one of the most expensive things we have in the office actually something about book four is rare I don't know what it is

if any of you actually have book four tag super mega because I'm sure I'm sure Jim when he's running the social media would love to see

your copies or just tag Jim yes throw up Jim's at Lou so people know where to find Jim can actually all of y'all just at Jim with a all of y'all just

at Jim with a picture of a penis a real penis not your penis yes don't do your use another penis go to google images type in flaccid penis and then at Jim

you want to be different than everyone else don't choose when you think everyone else is going to choose. And also don't rat us out. Matt and Ryan said to send you a penis because then you ruined the joke. Jim, I want you to sit down on Twitter and say where all these penises are coming from. Yep. Or if someone could please, please Photoshop Jim's face onto the head of a penis. You guys, there's some good Photoshoppers out there.

We know that because of Ryan's balls. Yes. Be careful with that, by the way. a penis. You guys, there's some good photoshoppers out there. We know that because of Ryan's balls. Yes. Be careful with that, by the way. These balls. See? There are no balls. I didn't pull my balls out. We should do a book club show where we read books like this and then people have to read along with us and then we

put out a homework challenge and the winners get free merch. We can read Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. I was thinking more like Hero Brian Goes on Vacation or Lolita. Yeah, that's a good idea. Or the first episode could be our own book. I could

read some of the book anytime. I mean, we wrote it. I'll flip to a random page right now. It's that time of the podcast again where we selflessly promote our own New York Times bestselling book. Now remember, for those who don't know, we wrote a book. Between 1 and 160. I'm going to give you 100 and...

No, no, no. Sorry, sorry. 78. So while Matt gets to the 78th page, we wrote a book. I turned directly to it but one page away. A bit ago. And now Matt will read you a passage to hopefully get you to buy this book. I know a lot of people already have.

It's a great book. And just telling by also something to add, there are pictures in the book. For those who find it hard to read, we get to keep your attention through pictures. They're great, too. All the artists did a fucking fantastic job. I mean, like, look at that. So let's hear what page 78 is. This is the chapter entitled the sad clown

okay it's it's an excerpt from that his back was to the boys as he shed his trench coat and hat revealing a tussled head of dark curly hair so who are you exactly matt asked the mysterious gentleman's back still to the boys he turned around slowly revealing his face in the dim light i'm michael richards said michael richards that's right standing before matt and ryan to their utter He turned around slowly, revealing his face in the dim light. I'm Michael Richards, said Michael Richards. That's right. Standing before Matt and Ryan to their utter disbelief was Michael Richards. Michael Richards? You work for the CIA?

Ryan stammered out, still in absolute shock and awe that he had just met the Michael Richards, the man who portrayed the zany character Cosmo Kramer in the hit sitcom Seinfeld, American television show 1989 to 1998. Trying to hold in my laughter. Surprise, surprise, Michael Richards said as he lit up a cream soda flavored Swisher Sweet. It kind of looked like he was smoking a piece of poop. Ha ha. That's our New York Times bestseller, baby.

Good. It's every time I hear a passage from it, I cackle. I light up with glee. I was trying to hold in all my laughter for that. It was difficult. Alright, I'll read one more paragraph. Give me another number. How about this time you give me a number? So I don't want to do big

spoilers towards the end, so I'll stay away from later numbers. Okay. Let's do 121. 12 numbers. Okay. Let's do 121. 121? Okay. Yeah, we know how to read, guys. Okay.

Page 121. Yeah, I like that. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow turned out to be a drab little town. Gone were the skyscrapers, Lamborghinis, and buffets the boys had grown accustomed to back home. This place was nothing more than a collection of lumpy wooden cottages

whose foundations and lanterns swung with the biting wind. In the center of town was a large bonfire with one lone soul tending to it. Boring, Matt said, rolling his eyes. The boys made their way to the bonfire And plopped down next to the stranger He was a tall, older Siberian man With a short, messy hair and a silly mustache Something in Russian I can read it

How do you say that one? Privyet Is that really just, okay Yeah, it means hello I almost, I was about to actually just say You said privyet Yeah, as a joke, so Privyet

Greeted the man. After Matt and Ryan were finished laughing at his accent, they gathered their composure, asked him to speak English, and continued their conversation. Nice. As you guys can tell, it's a good book. So if you could please support the book, Gino Samuel voices the audio book.

The audio book is a couple bucks, I believe. Have someone read it to you. It's four hours, and we worked really hard. We edited it and put a whole soundscape. There's music. There's sound effects. And Gino Samuel, the guy who narrates the Chris Chan documentary, narrates the audio book in that beautiful Lithuanian accent. And whenever there's all caps, he yells it.

He reads it very methodically. Pretty much like he reads the Chris Chan documentary. A lot of people mostly know him from that. I accidentally did leave in one chapter. I accidentally left him breaking. Makes it better, I think. He breaks a lot. Actually, do we ever upload that?

Because the book is so funny. I don't think we ever upload that to Patreon. I have a compilation of all the times he broke and laughed while reading it. Get ready. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not just because i mispronounced ready right yeah get ready because it's probably already on patreon by the not only will patreon have that they'll have a bonus episode like a minicast at the end when we end this we record

a little more and put it on patreon so super after hours if you want to support the channel and also get some things back like behind the the scenes footage, Q&As, extra videos. We do monthly Q&As where you can ask us questions and we'll answer it. We try to do monthly Q&As. We've been better. Yes. I mean, some stuff happened this year that kind of killed our motivation. Like what?

Some stuff. But, you know, overall, yeah yeah we've been posting a lot more you can get these episodes not only early but ad free as well um so you don't have to sit through those dang tardy ads on patreon you see uncensored penises on the patreon too yep we we post uh penis on the patreon every now and then there is penis penis on the Patreon. It's not all the time. You have to make sure you're a committed member of the Patreon because it's not like we do it every month. But if you go down to Patreon. Monthly penis pictures. Five bucks a month.

It helps support the channel. It helps pay everyone's wages here at the Super Megaplex. It helps pay for rent at the Plex. And we've been keeping this operation going. We've asked this question before. But legitimately. Going back to putting our balls on the Patreon, we have about how many Patreon subscribers right now?

Close to 9,000, I believe, at the current moment. Close to 9,000. How much would that number actually jump if we did a ball reveal? Matt and would ryan's test i think we would have to announce it if we did ahead of time yes and say we will do a ball reveal if we get to this number of patrons oh we'd have to i'm trying to see like how many patrons do you think would be added just out of the curiosity of like oh shit so yep we just posted our balls on patreon go subscribe to see them now see the thing is i'm scared of posting our balls and then getting like 100 patrons from that. Cold Ones posted balls and got almost 20,000 patrons total.

Just from the balls? I believe so. Well, I think Chad's dick too, but... I don't think our dicks or our balls are worth that many. No. I'm okay with posting balls on the Patreon. I just need it to be worthwhile because once my nuts are on the internet, they're on the internet. Forever.

And people will send them to your mom. Yeah, and my mom is gonna call me and go, please tell me that you did not seriously post your testicles on the internet, Matthew. My parents would not be happy about that. I'd be like, what about Johnny Knoxville

and Bam Margera and Steve-O? They show their balls and their butt and their buttholes sometimes. Yeah, I mean, guys, people who are not patrons, and I want to hear this for real in the comments, sound off, and on Reddit too.

We're interested. People who are not currently patrons, maybe you've never considered subscribing maybe you have considered subscribing maybe on the fence it's five bucks a month would you we can make a ten dollar a month ball tier yes where it's like every month you get a picture of our balls for being in the ball tier yeah i mean would you guys five extra bucks a month and you get one picture of our balls every month now how about four extra bucks a month

one for each ball so the nine dollar ball tier yes and nine you could in the commercial you could then flip it over sideways

and it looks like balls and then a little hanging penis you know yep it does it does it does okay

well we'll consider but people that aren't patrons would you or would you not consider actually joining our Patreon if we showed balls? They're just nuts. Yeah. Well, there are not, but you can't say they're just nuts and expect people to be like, yeah,

they're our nuts. Yes. You would see our testicles and you would see that Ryan's got a big old sack and I got a real tiny shriveled up little sack of prunes. I'm waiting for their answers. Text your answers in now. But yeah, we're gonna get

running. It's been a great episode, guys. Thank you for tuning in. We said at the beginning it was going to be a fantastic episode. We said it would be good and it was a good episode. And if you are a patron, you can head over to Patreon right now and watch Super Mega After Hours. After Dark, After Hour.

Well, After Dark. I forgot what we called it the first time. Let's say it's After Hours. I like that. This is only number two. But yeah, we can. There's plenty of stuff on the Patreon. Lots of fun stuff.

Like going all the way back to 2018. So if you go join now, there's a pretty big catalog of shit to watch. Go do that. Please. Please. Support us. And watch our videos. And play us while

you're playing video games. You also get like extended cuts of like all the mail room episodes. Or listen to us while you're playing video games. Extended cuts of all the live action ones

pretty much. Yeah. Alright. Well we'll see you guys except for you $5 patrons. We'll see you guys in the next episode of the Super Megacast.

And Luke, why don't you go ahead and... Luke, why don't you go ahead and... Use yourself as a side wipe to end it. Man, it's always a slam dunk when I see Ryan and Matt. Love you guys angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain it's hard to find people that can help you for a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance

and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish. Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly,

which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.