supermegashow - EP 321 - Sharing God's Light (ft. Wahlid)

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Nothing brings the boys closer together than the light shared between friends. Get premium wireless from just $15 bucks a month and no unexpected plot twists at https://MintMobile.com/supermega See for yourself why Chime is so loved at https://chime.com/super Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases, and so, welcome back to Super Mega Cast. Today we have a very special guest.

If you remember, maybe a year and a half ago, we did a hot tub live stream with our friends over at Market. And you might remember Waleed. This is Waleed, everybody. A lot of you in chat were asking, who's the one that looks like Markiplier? And that's Waleed. That's Waleed. I look like Markiplier? You look just like him.

Really? People kept saying that in chat. You guys have a similar voice. It was like one of the top things that's Waleed. That's Waleed? I look like Markiplier? You look just like him. Really? People kept saying that in chat. You guys have a similar voice. It was like one of the top things I saw, at least. Really? Yeah. But I'm brown. Well, so is Mark. Is he? He's a POC. He is. It sounds awful when I say it.

He is a POC. He sounded so serious. Markiplier is. What's his ethnicity? German. Really? German. Really? German Korean. Oh, okay.

But he just tans a lot. Yeah. Looks good. I'll take it as a compliment. More recent, like the newer years of Markiplier, he's really started doing the tanning thing. I haven't watched any Markiplier videos. Is he cool? You didn't watch?

We used to be in the Markiplier videos. We used to edit them and we were in them. Did you ever watch Five Nights at Freddy's? Yes. Okay in the Markiplier videos. We used to edit them, and we were in them. Did you ever watch Five Nights at Freddy's? Yes. Okay, with Markiplier. Yeah. Yeah? Did you?

That took the most amount of time, editing those subtitles. Those subtitles, tough work. I was about to ask Luke to edit some in like that, but I don't want to do that to him. No, you do it right now, Luke. Oh, my God! We have Waleed on the podcast today. This is epic. Amaze balls! There you go.

You gotta make it shake when I say balls. But don't forget if you ever, if he ever said like, fuck, you just have to censor it out. Why? And like show a duck, like a rubber ducky and stuff. Yeah. You guys ever edit those? Yeah. That's sick as fuck. It is. They have like a hundred million views now. I didn't know you guys were editors before.

That's how we started. I thought you guys just came out of nowhere. Just like two cool... We snaked our way up the system. We tend to always come out of nowhere. People are like, how do they know these guys? Because we show up on every corner of the internet, I guess. We've just been around the block.

We've just been like in a... People are always just like, what, they know them too? We're just pretty popular. You've seen some stuff in the space. Got a little blackmail. You know, some little dirty tea. Of course they're gonna. That Twitch stuff earlier, like a few weeks ago, was just the start.

Really? Yep. That was actually us. That was us. What happened? What happened? Yeah. You don't know what happened with Twitch?

Really? Do you not keep up with Twitch drama? Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Like the surface level. Well, let's just say that some people pissed us off, and now they're sitting one out.

That's the best way to put it. We're in deep legal proceedings with them, and I don't want to chance a countersuit. But everything you said in the car earlier today, Wally, you might have been recorded. Yeah. I said every slur in the car earlier today, Wally, just you might have been recorded. Yeah. I said every slur in the book. Well, so did we, but we're not going to blackmail ourselves.

But we can, we coax you into conversations where he doesn't actually say anything bad, but we specifically coax you to say certain things that we can cut together. We get you to say certain words and stuff so we can cut a perfect sentence together. Sorry, go on. I was going to say I have to make an apology video after this podcast.

Guys, you guys know me. I want to say everything. Every single one. We used an AI to recreate your voice. That scares me though because to create an AI voice, you need like a high sample volume

of high quality audio of somebody's voice, which is on the internet for both of us. Oh, shit. You're a podcaster too. Damn. Yeah, so basically. Makes me a little scared.

Now I don't want to do the podcast. What? Yeah. Well, you can still do this one. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. My podcast. Yeah. Your podcast though, which you just started a brand new one.

That's right. That airs every Tuesday at TMG Studios. Sorry, I have to plug. It's fine. It's the world we live in. Yeah, I understand it. I mean, they didn't clear it with us. I was impressed you had Blake Anderson from The Workaholics as your first guest. I was very surprised he said yes.

If you should get him in touch with us, just as a prank. Oh, yeah. I'll do a little prank. That'll be funny. Yeah, prank him, dude. Yeah. Like, hey, these guys are cool. Yeah, that'll be a fun prank. And what would you guys him dude Yeah Like hey These guys are cool Yeah that'll be That'll be a fun prank

And what would you guys do Once he's all like Interview him and shit No We don't interview our guests Sorry Or like talk to him We just talk about things like

Israel and Palestine Yeah Oh Which one are you rooting for Um Well I guess this year I kind of flip flop Yeah who's playing again this year

He's Palestinian oh really are you are you actually no it's fine oh no but I don't want that you want to quick the jump on a side you were like oh

who do you agree with more whose ethics do you agree with more I would say both okay okay I'm just really I like probably the worst answer we've had From a guest so far

I like asking every guest so we can get a super cut compilation Of us asking guests Israel, Palestine Everyone's always just like Oh man Well But yeah man You work at Market

I work at Market I worked there for fuck four years four years now. Nice, dude. Nice. Selling t-shirts with smiley faces on them. Making basketballs. Hey, I mean, Ryan, did you wear your, the one day you didn't wear your Market shorts? No. You always wear Market shorts? I have like three or

four pairs of Market shorts. I have the brown ones. Well, they were white when you got them. Oh, ew. I have the money ones. Yep, yep, the. Well, they were white when we got them. Yeah. Oh, ew. I have the money ones. Yep. Yep. Yep. Love those ones.

The very colorful ones that look like a puzzle, but it just says Chinatown Market. Yep. Yep. And like orange, yellow, green. I remember. I remember. You guys gotta get some new swag. Yeah.

Come by the office. Yeah. I haven't been by the new one yet. Yeah. I've only been by the old one. It's five minutes away from here. Wait, really? You're gonna dox us, dude.

I swear to God. No, it is pretty close to here. Shit. Will you stop by, grab some shorts? Yeah. Okay. You really need shorts.

I need some new shorts. It's been a while since I've gotten some new shorts. I was going to say, these shorts are kind of cool. The ones that you're wearing right now. Ryan will get a good article of clothing. Wear it to the end of time.

What brand is this? Oh, are you asking me because I'm like a big... You're a big, yeah, a little clothed guy. Clothed guy. I would cloth guy. Cloth guy. I would say maybe like ASIC or something. Is it AND1?

What is that? Oh, I have never seen that logo in my life. Yeah. Audience? Is that a real... It's probably like some Amazon brand. You guys love shopping at Amazon. There's nothing wrong with Amazon.

What did Amazon do to you? Nothing, I guess to you nothing I guess I guess you're kind of right when I say I got these on Amazon I mean that I was in Brazil and there was a boat with some shipments going through and Uncle Matthew stopped and got himself a couple pairs of shoes fresh off the truck

the funny part about what you were saying about the fucking AI doing what is it the voice shit didn't they do that with Mario recently? They did. That's the thing, man. It's like, there's such a big audio catalog of high

quality audio of me and Ryan's voice since 2015, 2016, where someone could just get an AI to analyze all that and make us say some heinous shit, and it would sound 100% accurate. Well, that's why you gotta say it now. See, that's why I'm getting ahead of it. So when the actual, you know, racist stuff comes out, it's like,

that's AI. That's obviously AI. Well, how's there a video, too? AI, deep fakes, dude. Those deep fakes are fucking creepy. We saw it live in person. Holograms. AI holograms. Tupac. They're gonna make AI holograms, I bet.

They already did. Kim Kardashian's dad showed up for Kanye's concert Kanye, you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you Keep it going, son That was my favorite thing, that Kanye got that as a gift for Kim, but then just had Kim's dad just basically congratulate Kanye on all of his success

He still did that, projected it outside of her front door Hey Kim, i think you should go back to kanye this is a really nice guy and rich and the father of your children you should really show him some love because he loves you come on kim it's your father speaking it's your father fix up your act it's the father wait the father's not the one that was played by ross from friends on the OJ show, right? I think he was.

David Schwimmer? Yeah. Have you seen the OJ show? Uh-uh. American Crime Story? David Schwimmer plays Daddy Kardashian. And he's serious? Yeah.

He does a good job. He's serious. He does a good job. Cuban Junior plays OJ. Who else is in it? Big. What's her name? I'm a really big fan of her

and I don't know her name. Some fan. She's in the Bill Clinton one too. What's her name? Alice. Oh, geez. You know what I'm talking about, right? You know what I'm talking about? No. You guys don't have a Joe Rogan screen guy?

No, I mean... Pull up the thing. Wean screen guy? No, I mean, fortunately. Pull up the thing. We have our phones. Well, my phone's out above the fireplace, the mantle. Right, of course. It's a, it's a. Where's the damn cast, Google? He's going to find it.

I know. If you had the guy, the guy would. You got to get a guy, man. Sarah Paulson. Who would play you if you were in a documentary death situation? Maybe if it was like... Maybe Steve Buscemi could play a really older version of me. Oh, wow.

Like your final days. Yeah. Like when I'm real sad and depressed after just doing drugs and hanging out with high schoolers to try to relive my YouTube years. Getting them drunk. Buying them drunk. Buying them alcohol. Well, that hasn't happened yet. You're like, come back to my place.

We can party. Yeah, I got all my old props. That's the thing, man. I'm going to be wanting to relive these YouTube days. Sip some beers, lift some weights with some high schoolers. Who would play you? Goodman. John Goodman. I was thinking either Goodman. That'd be sickman or, or hear me out, Jared Leto with prosthetic.

Christian Bale, maybe? Danny McBride? Oh, that wouldn't happen. I just want my guy to, I want the thing to be when he plays me, he's like, damn, did you recognize that was him? But they put him in prosthetics to look like me. They could have got an actor that looks like you, but. So get someone who doesn't look like me? They could have got an actor that looked like you. So get someone who doesn't look like me, and then they have to put on Cuba Gooding Jr.

He was great as OJ. Just get the full prosthetics. I think that, who realistically, right now, if they had to cast us, all three of us in something. In a sitcom or something? I don't know. If we were to kill Waleed at the end of this episode, and they did a docuseries about podcasters that killed podcasters, then we could, I don't know like like if we were to kill Waleed at the end of this episode and they did like a docuseries about like podcasters that killed podcasters then we could I don't know who would play me

Timothee Chalamet yes yes sure I would say maybe Riz Ahmed for me that would be a cool one okay

he's like a serious actor a little bit is he buff he's kind of sexy yeah yeah maybe they get really ugly guys

to play as some of the most handsome dude in the world to play Aziz and sorry for me Hey also from South Carolina That's right you guys ever talk to him. No. Well, we used to be tight, but what happened? It's falling out. I don't wanna talk about it. I don't leave They don't feel like some part jokes and put him on like just it wasn't like on a special of his, but it was still during stand-up

that we were it's too much. It's fine. And then a lot of Human Giant was actually just sketch ideas we had that he went and just But we just, uh, this isn't a drama podcast. Oh, sorry. Yeah, what category

do you guys fall in? Business? Yeah, business and economics. Business, economics, and fun. Well, I mean, speaking of economics and fun, Waleed, we actually have a... Every guest that comes on, we surprise them with something. We have a special present for you. You do?

Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and reach under that seat? No. Yeah. I put everything way too far down every time, don't I? You gotta get on your hands and knees and get that shit. That was a bit. Hey, don't look.

You're going to spoil the surprise. Yeah, don't look. Just reach. Just feel around. I'm scared. Just feel around. You'll find it. Nothing scary under there.

Oh, hey. Nice. Hey, there's some more. There's some more down there, too. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go fishing.

Yeah, get under there, man. There you go. Oh, my God, get under there, man. There you go. Oh my god, look at that. Damn. You've been doing a... This dude's still got a BBL. Can you arch that? Arch that shit, Walu.

There's only two dollars. Nope. Nope. You're missing a... Three dollars and one cent. What's this for exactly? It's your gift for coming on the podcast. Gift for coming on the podcast, dude. And this is what you guys give everybody?

We give everybody something different. Random Wardell, we gave him about $25,000 of cocaine. What else? Rocco, we got a cake with his face on it. Hassan. We got him a chair. We got him a chair. And a book. Nice. And a hat.

Yep. Remember the hat? So funny because earlier I saw this dollar and it was rolled up like this. It's a good way to keep them in your pocket. Yeah. Save space. Yeah. Yeah, you know? And I saw it on a table with... Nope. We have a lot of cash around the office, dude.

It's dangerous. And those are just super mega smoking trays I think Leighton bakes a lot. Yeah, Leighton has a lot of baking soda bacon. Yeah bacon Yeah, I asked him about it later he'll say the love baking. I love baking goods. Right. And... Bread. He likes playing around with the baking powder

just for... Oh, like a stimulant kind of thing? No, he just likes the way it smells, so he'll put it on the little trays and stuff and just play around with it. Don't try any, though, because he keeps a track on the weight. Oh, that's so weird. Yeah, don't dip your fingers and rub it on your gums or anything. I was going to ask, have you guys figured out who, what's like the,

trying to figure out the right questions to this. Who's like the leader out of the two, you know? Who's the leader? I don't see it. We don't see it that way. Really? Super and Mega. That's me, some guy.

Are you asking because, I mean... It's 50-50, man. We're not looking for any... There's no openings right now. Not at the moment. I know market probably pays pretty well, but... Yeah. There's not any openings at Super Mega right now.

You guys want to get like a third guy? You know, someone kind of... Of color we've thought about it it didn't work with the last guy we had oh yeah that we thought that it would work out and third guy of color though yes that's good yeah you always need a diversity hire that's why i really milked the Ryan's Palestinian thing. It just helps us out. Can you tell the Palestinian blood running through my veins? If you told me you're Middle Eastern,

I'd be like, yeah, I believe it. Because you're the only one here who could grow a beard fully. What if I said I was like, I can't, I just don't. Are you sure? No, I can't. Dude, it comes out like if I don't shave for like three weeks, I'll get this real scraggly blonde, like, it's gross. You never really let it grow.

Here, I'm the one always campaigning him to try it and like grow it out. Yeah, you gotta shave it more. And before I can ever see it in person, he only sends me pictures. Before I ever can see it in person, he shaves it. That's true. Well, there's always some circumstance that requires me to shave it before I see you. Like what? Yeah.

Oh, I gotta come to the office today. I'm in a kissing competition. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I told you, I take that shit seriously, man. I can't show up to the fucking kissing competition and expect to get the fucking gold trophy like I did two years in a row if I got all that shit around my mouth. Well, I mean, if you have skill, nothing should really get in the way of it, huh? Right? You know, Ryan,

some ladies don't like facial hair. And it depends. The judges change every year. I don't know what they're gonna be in. What about a mustache? Can you do a mustache? I can do the, uh, yeah, but the problem with the, I can grow the mustache, but it's just so thin that it doesn't, okay, here. It's an art house mustache.

Oh, that's you? That was me after not shaving for about three weeks. It looks like Markiplier, right? It actually does look pretty dark in this picture, but I think that's just because I put the black and white filter to make it look more legit. Did you up the contrast? No, I didn't. That's just the filter. But it looks a lot more

legit. That's not you. That is me. Is it him, actually? Do you not trust those? That is him. That's me. Can you not see it? That's the most I've ever grown it. People do look very different with even just a little bit of facial hair. Yeah, you look completely different. Luke, put this picture up, but I'm cropping everything out except for the facial hair. You look like a cuck. You look like a cuck. Thank you, Waleed. Is facial hair cheating? Like, you're more brave for not having any facial hair. You're like, this is my face. This is how God intended me to look. And you have great skin for not having any facial hair. You're like, this is my face. This is how God intended me to look.

And you have great skin for not having facial hair. Well, you have really nice skin, too. Yours is really soft and smooth. Yeah, they were touching it earlier. Yeah, well, it's nice to touch. You're also touching his hair and going, I love the texture of this. Well, that was just for jokes. Just friends goofing around, man.

Yeah, and then you fingered my ass, too, on the way here. Why'd you look at me? Matt was the one that fingered your ass. Well, you can never tell from behind. Now I want you to. We do a little switcheroo, a little Houdini where, you know, you think I'm back there and you're like, damn, Matt. And then all of a sudden I walk in from the other side

and I'm like, hey, Waleed. And you turn around and it's Ryan. It's like a better version of the touching one shoulder getting out of the way. Yeah. I like that. I like that as a prank. It's good goo. a prank Blake would like that If you guys can hear any kind of like It's because Waleed insisted that he bring a fan today

Not like one of his fans but like a fan From home like an electric fan because Our office was too hot so we brought a fan I brought it because I have so much body hair Because these guys don't know how to grow hair properly Look how hairy my armpits are dude It's not even that much. It's because he shaved them.

No, I did shave my armpits recently. How, wax or just straight razor? I was in the shower. I was in the shower, and I just had a razor. And honestly, this sounds stupid. I was just like, I shaved my feet. I was like, damn, these shits are hairy. I shaved them, and I was like, that was funny. It was just like, I shaved my feet. I was like, damn, these shits are hairy. I shaved them and I was like, that was funny.

That was satisfying watching it become not shaved. So then I was like, what else can I shave? Obviously. Need I say more? But then I was like, I went for that. And I was like, damn, it's smooth. Because I've never felt my armpits smooth. And then I went for the gooch, the ass.

Big mistake. Because the last week walking around, dude, it's fucking. Prickly. It is just. Dude, the ass, big mistake. Because the last week walking around, dude, it's fucking. Prickly. It is just. Dude, my ass is so hairy. Wiping's been great, though. Yeah, I can imagine. So nice.

Do you ever trim your ass? I just, how do I know what I'm doing? No, dude, I literally laid down in the shower. I had a razor, like a. Straight, yeah. Yeah. Not everyone can get in the position you can, man. I just did this because it wasn't cutting me

That's actually not a bad idea It worked great That's actually not a bad idea Because I'm thinking I gotta turn around and use a mirror Lay down, put your feet up over your shoulders And then you just fucking contour it And then it gets it all Works great

How close is your dick to your mouth when you're doing that? I'm not like upside down with like my cock and balls hanging um I guess I could but

I just kind of had my legs up and did it works good dude I need someone to help me need help yeah

well we gotta go to ad breaks in a second we can maybe we have razors here yeah I mean we have a razor oh

a sponsor I don't know if they're not a sponsor this week but we have some razors here. Yeah. I mean, we have a razor. Oh, are they a sponsor? Luke, bleep that out if they're not a sponsor this week. But we have some razors from a company that sells razors to escape yourself. For your lower body parts. Yep. And it's preferably for men. Well, here's the thing.

Sure. Anyone can use it. Said razor company that we sponsor, I wouldn't say that's necessarily for a super clean down to the skin shave. That's for a trim. See, I went with a straight razor to get a clean down to the skin. That's a little dangerous. Well, no, dude, the thing is with the Gillette Ultra Glide razors and shit, for men, it's like you really can go crazy with it.

Literally, I squeezed my scrote and I was, does not cut you. Like there's no risk of cutting you because of the way it's designed. So I was just literally doing this. Didn't cut myself. I'd be so scared. No, if you squeeze that shit. Were you going that fast? I was like.

Okay, that's not too bad. Alder like scraping it. Yeah. No, you glide it over it. Peeling it like a cucumber. If you, if you squeeze that shit and make it into a second brain, then you just fucking glide the razor over it, and it works great. Guys, don't try this at home.

No, please try it at home. I remember going on, like, WikiHow in high school, looking up how to shave my pubes. Remember going on WikiHow, like, how to finger? I used to do it with scissors. I used to get scissors from, like, a drawer. That's dangerous. I feel like that's a little bit easier sometimes.

No. What? By the way, I didn't start shaving my pubes until middle school. Because kids were laughing. Why? Were they looking at your pubes in middle school? Yeah, because we'd take off our shorts or whatever. When would you take off your shorts in middle school?

I think my teacher would. No, we'd have a locker room. In middle school? Yeah. I didn't have that until high school. Yeah. And yeah, I'd shave for that because I wanted to school? Yeah. I didn't have that until high school. Yeah. And yeah, I'd shave for that because I wanted to look slick, sexy. It makes your dick look bigger.

We also would do body shots in the locker room. You ever play that in middle school? Where you like... We did back shots in the locker room, you know? No, you'd find your opponent and then no face... Slap boxing? Yeah, it'd be slap boxing. Okay.

But you have 60 seconds and you just fucking We did something similar called Freshman Friday where there was like a there was a part of the locker room that was lockers that had a cage door and they'd throw two freshmen in there and shut it and make them fight Were you one of the freshmen? No no I was a senior I was a senior. He was the bookie

They'd get into it too. Like it wasn't like against their will Was it a pride thing? or was it for fun? Kids just need to get a little steam I think for them they were like I gotta impress the seniors And we'd be cheering them on It never got actual fist fighting

No blood was drawn? There was one time it got a little serious My friend Gavin who was a junior And this other guy who was a senior Named Ethan who was a big meathead like he was like like he was like the Zac Efron of our school okay very like masculine a lot of testosterone sexy they got in there and he and it got one of those like you know play fights but then one of the guys you could tell was actually kind of getting pissed off and starts getting a

little too hard yeah yeah I was like whoa dude dude put someone in trouble we're fucking around yeah and then Gavin was a good friend of mine and we were leaving the locker room and it was just the three of us. And Gavin and I walked out and Ethan's like, hey Gavin, stay back for a second. And I was like... And they fought? No, so I walked and I stayed around the corner and he's like, Gavin, I'm sorry.

And I was like, okay. It's all good. Did you play any sports in high school? Look at me, of course I did. What did you play? Football. No, really? I was line man. Yep, he was one of the line men.

I feel like you would play a little football. You played baseball. No, the only sports I did, if you even count it, I would surf some and a little bit of skateboarding. Oh. It's more than what I can do. Yeah. Well, those are balanced sports. See, that's the only thing I had going for me because I could, you know, my dad was always

like, damn, son, if you could learn to shoot some hoops, you'd kill it on the court. Yeah. You had a volleyball. I hate sports. I mean, well, I mean, you have a sports podcast. Yeah. I don't know anything about sports. The whole point is Zach, my co-host.

Okay. He's the fucking sports nerd. And I'm just, I'm the. Have a song. We'll talk about sports. The whole point is Zach, my co-host. Okay. He's the fucking sports nerd. And I'm just, I'm the. Have a song. We'll talk about sports. Yeah. You're the what? Just like the goofball.

The. Oh, he made it to the hoop. His title is goofball. Yeah. Oh, Waleed, I'm going to bless this episode with something for you. A gun shoots me in the face. Oh. Let's go to ad reads. That was nice. A gun shoots me in the face. Oh!

Let's go to Ad Reads. That was nice. I told you not to do that when we have guests. I'm serious. Ryan, I'm serious. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality,

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exclusively on fan duel casino where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hello. Thought you were going to say something, Waleed. No, I thought that was the ad read I thought you guys were going to do.

We already, the ad reads are done. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm not going to say something, Waleed. No, I thought that was the ad read. I thought you guys were going to do... We already... The ad reads are done. Oh, really? Yeah. So you just... I'm not going to read them in front of you. Oh. So we'd have to pay you.

You said before we got on that you wanted to say something about the... And then you stopped there because I was like, this just sounds great. I really have to say something about the... Like a particular group of people or something like that. Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, now he's playing dumb. Okay. What? You're the one that wanted the spotlight wally did i say that yeah it was in reference to i don't know that's why i'm asking yeah he had a little fire in his eyes

though i could see it has the moment passed no it hasn't passed okay then go ahead uh i just forgot if i was was i gonna say something about? About what? The specific group of people? You, and it was in the ad, in between ad breaks, he's like, oh, I got to say something about the, and then you've got distracted, but you had a little fire in your eyes when you said it too. I did. Your demeanor changed.

Well, I was going to tell you guys a little funny story. Okay. You guys like stories, right? Yes. Love stories, man. You guys ever heard of a fleshlight? Yep. Yeah. You guys like stories, right? Yes. Love stories, man. You guys ever heard of a fleshlight? Yep. Yeah. You guys ever use one? Yep.

Is that the story? No, no, no. It's not the story. They're pretty great, right? So, fleshlight sent me... Jim used mine. But that's a story for another day. That's a story for another day. And you shared it? He said he washed it out. Oh, I found out after the fact.

The thing is, to clean those things. Well, I hadn't used it in a very long time. So I'm going to see if Jim wants to defend himself at all. I got one and I used it once and I was like, that's it? Yeah. It's not that great. It's not. It doesn't feel all the same.

No, it doesn't. Unless you get the alien one. No, I thought it was good. It literally just felt like I like a trash bag full of olive oil between my couch and fucked my couch. It wasn't that great. Like a leather couch or some shit. Yeah.

I did that in middle school. There's, they sent me a box of them. A box of fleshlights. A box of them. Cause I was doing vines with dildos, their dildos. That was my thing on vine. I was making dildo. I remember.

Yeah. And, uh, they also sent me like 12 fleshlights so my boy zach had his hometown friends come you can sit in my seat i'll sit next to wally for a little bit that's okay yeah and so i gave his i gave the fleshlights to his friends and one of them out of the package it was like a dude's butthole and we didn't tell him damn yeah did he freak out no he he was he's been using it still after he does he still not know yeah no we told him oh but it was like after a year hey a hole's a hole yeah speaking of holes jim i just i didn't want to i mean i i ryan brought what what what did you do do you know where this is going no talking about flashlights oh yeah why are you bringing this up we're talking about i had a little

funny flashlight i had a funny story and they told me something interesting that you gave me one i didn't give it to you jim you gave it to me no i didn't dude it was downstairs with all my shit that i hadn't moved out of my boxes yet and you said go go for it. I don't remember ever telling Jim. I swear to God. I just remember finding out that you used my fleshlight and thinking it was really funny. As a guest? I would never. But that's what I thought

and it made me laugh. I would never. Not even like in a drunken stupor? No, but he literally gave me a gift. You know if you tell Jim go for it, he'll... Wait, here's the thing, though. Even if Ryan was like, oh, here's my used fleshlight. You can have it. I probably wouldn't use it.

I just assumed that you never used it. Oh, no, I used it. Yeah, dude. I thought you knew that. I don't remember saying you could have it. Maybe I did, but I forgot. I swear to Christ you gave it to me. It's one you used. I thought that Jim just found it because it was downstairs, used it, and then was like, yeah, it's pretty good. No way!

Okay, the record's been cleared, but we have shared a flashlight now. Did you clean it? Of course I cleaned it afterwards. Before, did you clean it? Did you not? Well, I didn't think anyone else would be using it. Before did you clean it? Did you not?

Well, I didn't think anyone else would be using it. Puts a whole new meaning to the term tunnel buddies. Hey. Yeah. It's for lit, yeah. Yeah, just put some of that on. Jim, if it makes you feel better, I hadn't used it in probably a year and a half up to that point. Yeah, thank you. If it makes me feel better.

But the worst part is you trying to throw me under the bus and saying that you- I don't remember ever- because why would I say, oh, here's my used flashlight, you can have it. Because I was going through a breakup! Well, you know, I could've just- He said that exactly, he said specifically, he was like, I know you're going through a breakup, man, there's this thing downstairs underneath this. You literally said that-

I guarantee I was joking. I was like, hey, but there's this thing that my fleshlight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in a dark place. That's okay, Jim. I'm not mad at you for it. But now you're aware that you did use the... So you didn't know he used it before. No. But he said you said you washed it before using it.

No, he didn't wash it before using it. He washed it after. Wait, what? Yeah, so there's... I thought it was unused. Jim has literally... It's cum crust. Jim's literally had my sloppy seconds. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did it feel crusty at the end? If it makes you feel better, I never busted it into one.

Okay. It never felt good enough. There's some pre-cum in there, I'm sure. Sure, but it wasn't... That makes me feel honestly a lot better. No, I never... Good. Jim, I...

I truly feel... Twice. I used it twice in my life. Very far apart. Because the first time I was like, God, this truly feel... Twice. I used it twice in my life. Very far apart because the first time I was like, this is not that great. And then I didn't... I put it away for a while and then I tried it again one day and then I moved and it was downstairs in the room you stayed in. I was addicted to them.

Are you still addicted to them? No, thank God. He went to group therapy. Isn't that the thing where you threw it out like dramatically? Yeah, I remember. Did you get it back out of the trash? No, basically one day, I don't know, it was one of those days where you don't do anything I used it like five times

one day Like in a row? No, no, no, I had to go back He stops, takes a breath and basically I was so disgusted with myself I was like, I need to get rid of this. And I threw it in the bushes.

That's how you go friendly, dude. Yeah, and then I was like late at night. Where were you where you could just like, while he was outside. You could throw it in some bushes. He uses it outside most of the time. I was at home and it was like suburban area, you know. You just threw it out your window into the bushes?

No, I was like. Don't children live in suburban areas? How does, go and, wait, okay, I'm trying to like... He threw it in his neighbor's bushes to have kids. You said you throw it in some bushes. I feel like that's such like... You just go over that part so simply. No, it was like across the street.

There was some bushes. So you just walked out of his neighbor's bush place and you just went... And then walked back in your place? I chucked it. But couldn't like... Someone then would find it. He throws like a letter into the ocean.

Except it's into their neighbor's yard. No, it was like a low-key little alleyway. Okay, a worn down fleshlight. Okay. And it was late at night. I couldn't go to bed. I was like, fuck. It would be nice to have it right now. Bro, you went back out and you grabbed it

from the bushes. I went back out, couldn't find it. Oh no! Jim! Find Jim in the bushes. Oh hey! It started raining. It was a sad visual in general. But you didn't buy one after that. No, I didn't buy one. I said, I learned a lot

about myself. That was it. The Lord was testing you. And I failed. Damn. You have like a sad standing in the rain moment? Like soaked like the thunder and lightning? Just like... With a boner? Yeah, with a fucking raging hard dick through your jeans. Were you wearing jeans?

I think it was when you look at little gym shorts like this. Oh, so it was very visible then. Yeah. These are normal size gym shorts. Oh. You could wear little if you wanted. Little cute short gym shorts. That reminds me just like you ever just like you look like you're watching something on the internet

and you bust and then you have that like, you know, that immediate like bat like that. There's probably that. It's like Christian guilt I think we grew up with. But then you see your reflection in the screen and you're just like. Oh. There is a chemical reaction that happens That specifically is why The whole post-nut clarity thing too Really?

Yeah For real? That's not just a meme? No It does clear your mind Before a big decision It's because your brain is actually going Fuck, fuck, fuck

And not in like a To get at it Like you still have control over your actions You're not like a ravenous animal It's just like Not if your actions. You're not like a ravenous animal. It's just like, you're not thinking clearly. Yeah, you're not thinking too clearly.

You're thinking with your other head. You know what I'm saying? The screen thing is funny because the worst is when you're, are you going to use a laptop? Well, or phone. Yeah, phone. It's when someone fucking FaceTimes you. Dude. And like immediately the selfie cam turns on and both whatever you're laughing well you have to accept the no no no the selfie cam will

just turn on oh yeah yeah you're like dude i i remember my mom watches this mom uh one time i was i just remember like this wasn't that long ago i was like yesterday i was like i was beating it and then it was just like it was like my mom calling me and she calls again and i was like, I was like, I was beating it. And then it was just like, it was like my mom calling me. And she calls again. And I was like, mom, please. Do I need to spell it out? I'm jerking off, mom. You need to tell her the times a day you plan the jerk off.

Don't call in between these times. Don't call between 630 and 635. I'm editing. Yeah, no, the worst is though that fucking reflection of yourself on the screen. It's just like, you're like, you're sitting're sitting there you're like you already feel disgusted like you could take like the breaking bad like score it's like like the droning kind of like see yourself and you just you look nasty man you're just like not good they should just remove that feature it's kind of embarrassing coming you know god in the next human should just remove that feature. It's kind of embarrassing. Coming? You know.

God, in the next human update, please remove that feature. No, just say when you FaceTime having the selfie camera turn on. Oh, yeah. It'd be cool if you could, like, it's a front-facing camera instead. And they could see it, too, right away. Even if you didn't pick up. They see a blurred preview, so they can still see by the shaking. They just say, hey hey what are you doing

itching myself dude still as like nothing's more embarrassing than being a grown-ass man and someone catches you picking your nose that happened to me recently oh but yeah everyone picks their nose i know but it's one of those things that like well like i was by myself and i wasn't fucking like digging for gold but it was just kind of like, you know, sometimes it's just like, you know, just a little. You gotta get it out. And I didn't realize there was someone in the room. They're like, hey. And I'm like, hey.

And you try to play it off, or you're just like, you do, like, this kind of thing, like. Like, were you just picking, were you picking your nose? You're like, oh, fuck. That's not clear. Yeah, explain it, yeah. Yeah, it's embarrassing, man. I do a little, I do, like, a mustache. You ever do this with your mustache? I don't mind. It never gets, like, big enough to yeah. Yeah, it's embarrassing, man. I do a little, I do like a mustache. You ever do this with your mustache?

I don't, mine never gets like big enough to do anything fun with it. I like play with it sometimes. It's a little mustache. I'll come off and I'll kind of like fuck with the hair on my teeth a little bit. It's kind of gross. Hmm. I got called out for that a few times. You fuck with, wait.

I haven't thought, I have never thought of that one. Because your mustache hair is so like sturdy. Not mine. So you almost use it as like a toothbrush. That's the thing about mine is mine's so thin and so fine. It's like pubes on a face. No, it's still wiry, but it's more like it's a... Like pubes, right?

My pubes are not wiry. What are they? Very different genetics. Well, you're shaving your pubes. Yeah. So now they're just prickly. No, my pubes are very soft and fine and fluffy. They're not...

It's not like... I see pubes that are fucking thick and fine and fluffy. It's not like I see pubes that are fucking thick and wiry. We have very different pubes, I think. It's very fine. You seem very defensive. I'm not being defensive. We all get a pair of scissors. Cut a little piece. It'd be very easy to tell who's who.

Do you actually think so? Yes. Whose pubes are these? I mean, I would be able to if I hadn't shaved recently. I mean, it's already grown back a little bit, but it's... It's, yeah. Shave your little happy trail?

Yeah, because it looks weird if I just, you know, trim the hedges and then the rest... Well, I went all out, dude. I shaved this, but then I was like, well, there's hair all over here and here, so I shaved all of this, and then I was like, well, I gotta get the legs, too, well I went all out dude I shaved this but then I was like well there's hair all over here and here so I shaved all of this and then I was like I gotta get the legs too and I went like no so you do a whole fade I did I did a fade down my legs yeah looks cool I'll show you guys in that next time his beard to his body just slowly 3 2 1 yeah it looks good though looks pretty good here here's an example. Look how fucking

fine my leg hair is. This is a good example of what your pubes would be, right? Is that what you're saying? No, my pubes are actually a little thicker than this, but like see how like fine and thin and soft my leg hair is? Yeah. Like I don't really grow a lot of body hair. Like look at that. See that? Yeah, it's cute. Yeah,

it's cute. I don't have a lot of testosterone, I think. We haven't measured our levels yet. We won't do it for a video, but I don't think that I have a lot of testosterone going for me. I think you got... Go ahead! I'm not, I'm not, like... Guess our level. The alt-right loves to blast me from my low T levels. Well, guess what? Okay. You just chug a few pills before the... I did recently. I was out and I bought one of those gas station like rhino pills as a joke I was with some people

did you take it? no dude it said it lasted for 18 days on the thing it was like 18 days and I was like I don't want that curse in my system because apparently if you take that shit worst headache in the world yeah worst headache you might have a heart attack so I had a video idea where I wanted to try them all out and review them

at once? yeah all at once the thing like i have to wait so because think about how much of my life i'd have to dedicate to being on those pills i have to take one feel the effects for like over two weeks immediately take another one two more weeks like i can't do that it's gonna fuck you up at the end anyway yeah no but uh i did uh we were at a bar and we were like joking around with it and we we all sprinkled a little bit in our cocktails. You didn't feel any effects though? No, I got a horrible tremendous headache at about 3 a.m. Okay.

Horrible headache. Nothing else? No boning? Did you feel stronger? Nope, I was not sexually charged. I wasn't... Nothing. Just a headache. The brain, I think it's a placebo thing.

Well, I mean, if you read the ingredients ingredients the stuff that's in it is like it's uh supplements and stuff that are like used for libido and stuff like horny goat weed and milk thistle or whatever it's like all that like old shit that's like oh yeah you know cultures have used this forever yeah what our

old men used to take horny goat weed that's really what it's called sawgrass that's another one like I went to a What our old men used to take. Horny goat weed. That's really what it's called? No, I remember seeing it for the first time. Sawgrass, that's another one. Like, I went to an acupuncturist-type place, and they had, like, a little pharmacy shop where you could get, like, Tiger Balm and a bunch of other stuff. Oh, that's nice.

And they had horny goat weed. And I, of course, I took a picture and had to send it to everyone I knew. Yeah. The cry laughing emoji. Those pills don't seem safe. 18 days. There's definitely stuff in there that they're not listing on the back because it's not FDA regulated so I don't think

they actually legally have to list it. They can put whatever they want in it. I used to embarrassingly take these little kratom shots because I was like oh this stuff seems cool and I would take them a lot. What's it for?

It just makes you feel nice. Oh. It's a little high. Yeah, a little bumper. Yeah, yeah. So you get them at, like, smoke shops. I started taking them, and I was like, oh, you can't get it. I read online, like, you can't get addicted to it,

and I got full-blown addicted to it, where if I didn't take it, I'd get, like, withdrawals and shit. But then I found out that they're not FDA regulated, and a lot of those little shots, if any of you kids out there are taking Kratom, listen to this. Also, stop taking it. It's very bad. It makes your hair fall. It's very bad for you.

It's addictive. They lie online. A lot of these shots put this legal opioid in it that's registered as a research chemical. So it's legal. It's called like ODSMT. I found out they put that in the shots. So it like gives you like a legit opioid high. Damn.

It's kind of nice. Do. Remember the withdrawals I would go through when I quit? I haven't done it in like 120 days. I've been in the bathtub several times. Damn. Shivering. When I was when Fleshlight used to send me all that the dick stuff, the dildos or whatever. They sent you a lot. They sent me a lot.

Did you try each of them out? No, unfortunately it was too much. Too much for a guy that's like, you do five times in one day? How many did they send you, like 300? No, they were telling me, because I kept making shit in my videos or whatever, and they're like, hey, do you want to do more shit with us?

Like, do you want to make your own dildo? Like cast your own penis? Yeah, cast your own penis. And they're walking me through the process. They're like, hey, actually, it's kind of illegal, but we'll tell you anyway. They give you a shot in your dick, and you're hard for eight hours. You have to stand there in the mold for eight hours. We got one of those kits in the mail once, like the clone-a-wheelie thing.

And the hardest part is you have to stay hard for it while you stick your dick in this cold goop. And I'm like, how do you do that? Yeah, you can't unless you're a freak unless you're jim yeah unless you're jim i was about the same anyways here's my new dildo busting it out on the podcast we release it on the super mega mart jim's cock but i would love to do that and like he's like real confident excited about but we don't tell him we tell the manufacturers scale it down just not enough where it looks like a mini version but like just enough where it just looks like a smaller penis like could actually be real yeah just like just like like just a horribly average penis you guys should tell jim that you took his

cum and made a clone of a baby jim yeah biggest prank yet we harvested your cum and we've been uh we took it to a sperm bank there's a woman carrying it there's six women carrying your seed right now he wouldn't all have different countries no growing up one of my best friends was

from like a sperm bank him and both his sisters and recently one of their siblings through that that they've never met found them through like a database thing reached out and then they all started this like group chat and they found like 20 siblings and they all met up and hung out so they were this who's the who's the daddy yeah they I mean I don't know if they know who he is, but they all... I don't think the dad knows about this,

but they all got together and they... I think they rented like an Airbnb and spent the weekend together. That is nuts. Yeah, it's nuts. And I saw pictures from the hangout and it was crazy because like, I grew up with these three kids

and I knew them so well. And then seeing all these other people that just look like them, I was like, oh my God, it's crazy.. That's imagine being the dad and like walking in that room He walks into like the wrong Airbnb by accident and he's like So if you donate sperm is there like a I'll think you could reach out to them after yeah, you can't but it's also is it like a I don't think you could reach out to them after Yeah you can't but it's also

Is it like a I'm guessing it's not just like a one pump and dump thing Where it's like that's for one kid Can they just take it and use it for tons of kids Sure they don't want to waste it It's good stuff My buddy Zach he's donating Because he might be he had cancer or whatever

He might be a little infertile So he's been donating his sperm And he said he had to do it like three times Wait he might be infertile so he he's been donating his sperm. And he said he had to do it like three times. Wait, he might be infertile, so he's donating his sperm to fertilize. Sorry, because of the cancer, before chemo. So he wants to keep sperm just in case he wants kids? Yeah. Before the chemo, they were like, hey, there could be a chance you could be infertile after this.

Oh, wow. Save up your gum. Go in those loads. Yeah, freeze it. So he did. He saved up like three. He went there like three times. He said it was a very interesting experience. Yeah, freeze it. So he did. He saved up like three, he went there like three times. He said it was a

very interesting experience. Apparently they have to pay for porn. Dude, you know what we should do? Wait, you have to pay for it yourself? Yeah, you have to, the TV, you know like a hotel,

like pay-per-view or whatever, like that. Why can't they just supply it? That's what I said. Some do. It's a lot of work. Yeah. Pulling one out.

And I was saying, under pressure. Because the first time he didn't want to buy the porn so he used memory. It takes a lot of strength. Yeah, it takes a lot of power. And then I said, he didn't want to buy the porn, so he used memory. That takes a lot of strength. Yeah, it takes a lot of power. And then I said, why didn't you just use your phone?

And now the second time, he did use his phone. Wait, he didn't think to use his phone? No, he didn't. So first time, he's pulling raw memories, man. He's like... He's getting the good stuff out of it. Think about his first kiss. You know what we should do, Ryan?

We should go donate our sperm to a Los Angeles sperm clinic. And then put out an announcement and say, Hey, fans. Anyone want to carry our sperm to a Los Angeles sperm clinic and then put out an announcement and say, hey fans, anyone want to carry our baby? First come, first serve. We'll put out our DNA publicly so people can test. Yeah. So it's like a roulette thing. But they can't legally

be like, hey, it's your child. They can get some hair and just find out. If they won. It'll be a Patreon video. We'll show that it's our sperm. You know? Have you ever thought about. I don't want kids. But have you ever thought about.

Maybe what if I do. But it's too late one day. What if I'm too old. Have you ever thought about. While you're young. Freezing it. You have a good specimen now. As you get older.

My uncle told me something weird. In Afghanistan. You want a horse that's young. have a good specimen now so as you get older maybe it's... My uncle told me something weird. He was like, you know, in Afghanistan you want a horse that's young and strong. Alright. You know? He went like this to it. And he said, when you get older, no one's gonna want this old horse. So you gotta

have a baby now. So I kind of believe it. Do you want a baby? Is your uncle from Afghanistan? I want a baby now. Do you eventually, are you like... I'll have a kid eventually. So I kind of believe it. Do you want it? Is your uncle from Afghanistan? No, I want a baby now. But do you eventually, are you like... I'll have a kid eventually. Do you want a kid eventually? Yeah, I think... A little Wally Jr.?

A little Wally Jr. We're both fucking around. I used to be a teacher. Okay. Yeah. You used to be a teacher? I have a, yeah, I used to work at a kinder care. I went through the whole thing, the classes, whatever.

Really? I used to teach toddlers, which was like not really teaching. You just hang out with them. Mr. Wally. Yeah, Mr. Wally. Mr. Wally. Wait, how old are you? Uh, 28. Oh, okay. Yeah. I, uh, you guys are the same age. June 14th? May 1st. Sorry.

Ooh. Sorry. February 5th. Sorry. How old are you? 26. Oh, dude, you're a baby. I know, right? This guy's a fetus. I'll be 27 in a few months. So young. He's so behind us.

Wait until he gets to 28. Then he'll see. It's going to hit. Ooh. It's going to hit. You're going to feel it. It's already hitting. That's what you say now.

Feeling like I'm getting older. 26, 27, good age. 28, downhill from there. 28 is kind of that age where it's like, man, I'm getting close to 30. Yeah. 25, great. Oh yeah,

25, I'm on top of the world. I'm gonna live forever. And then, 26. I feel like, even at 26, I'm kind of like,

damn, I'm starting to get older. I think it's as soon as I pass 25, I was like, damn. Yeah. Because 24 still feels young. 25 is the middle.

That stage is over, huh? And then 26, you're past the middle. Yeah, you're midlife crisis. Yeah, I'm getting middle. That stage is over, huh? And then 26, you're past the middle. Yeah, you're in midlife crisis. Yeah, I'm getting there. Already there. No, but

yeah, I maybe I should just get a little snip snip. A vasectomy? You should save it just in case. Oh, actually the kid, they could always undo it. Yeah. You could always adopt. I don't want to. I don't see. I don't. You've seen the procedures, right? I don't like kids at all. Like

they irrationally make me angry. Why? They're gross. They touch everything. They're stupid. They're loud. I was sitting in a park the other day, minding my own business. Watching the kids. Just enjoying watching children having fun. And these kids

are playing soccer, dude. And I cannot tell you. It was like I was in this my own space. And, like, I literally ended up in the middle of their soccer game over and over. Getting hit by the ball, running by me, screaming. And I was like, it's a whole fucking stop. Did you kick it away? I should have. I should have just grabbed it and said.

No, stab it. And then you said, get fucked. Yep. Get fucked, kids. Well, no, you know what I mean, guys. Shit. Yeah, no, I know what I mean, guys. Oh, shit. Yeah, no, I don't want kids, though. When I used to work at Kindercare, there's a thing called Bounce House Fridays.

Okay. And there was a time where... That does sound fun. Yeah, it was hella fun. I went on break, and I could still see the kids, whatever. There was another teacher who was watching them, of course. While he just lets them out, play on the sidewalk. And as I was eating my lunch, I see one of the kids jump out of the inflatable. Teacher doesn't see.

Sneaks around the back and unplugs it. There's 11 kids in there. Genius. I'm watching this happen. Kids are screaming, crying now. But you know exactly who it is. I know. I saw the whole thing.

But I fucking ran. Because it's dangerous. Yeah. I ran and I was holding The bounce house like this And I fucking just yanked You saved children I saved children yeah I'm a hero

Podcaster Child saver Yep Did they give you a medal No Just one of the parents thanked me Oh But there's one kid

Who's now traumatized From the bounce house Really He was the last kid I got out He's gonna grow up and watch this And be like It was him He saved me

What was the kid's name Just so the kid's name? Just so the kid can get revenge. Full name. Nicholas. Nicholas? Nicholas. So close to Nicholas.

Nicholas. Very easy to remember. Last name I don't remember, actually. Damn. Why not? No, he does remember. He has a mental note of every kid on the spot. All right, we're going to break, guys. See you.

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, he does remember. Here's a mental note of every kid on the spot. All right, we're going to break, guys. See you. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR

for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone.

Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. That's SunriseChallenge.ca. CEOs can't be held accountable for financial crimes in a company. You know that, right? What? Really? I thought you were left out. Right, Ryan? I didn't misread that, right?

From what? I just thought that was a thing. CEOs cannot be held accountable for financial crimes in a company. That's the treasurer who deals with that type of stuff. And I'm not the treasurer. Real quick, so is it 50-50 in the company? It is. No one has like a 51, you know?

Well. He doesn't know. No. There's a 49-51. 49-51. We worked it out. Yeah. Who has the...

He has the 51. Damn. He is the CEO, technically, and I'm the president. Same shit. It's not, actually. He has full legal authority to fire me. You should do it right now. And then hire me.

I'd have to get a hold of... I couldn't just... If he actually wanted to fire you, we'd have to go through lawyers and shit, so... And you could probably... You can call up the lawyer right now and say, hey, I'm firing Matt. Yeah. And he... I mean, as our lawyer, he'd probably have to be through like lawyers and shit so and you could probably you can call up the lawyer right now and say hey i'm firing matt yeah and he i mean as our lawyer he'd probably have to be like okay well let's just check i'm the ceo just check ryan mcgee you should know me watch my videos you follow me right i mean as our lawyer he probably would just have to listen he'd be like okay i'll fire him right do you like no more payroll for you, buddy. Do you think he'd come to me after that?

No, he'd have to come consult me, too. He's my lawyer, too. He can come consult you, yeah. He might just be like, he's firing you. Yeah. There's nothing we can really do. It's a conflict of interest. Legally, he can.

Because if he's both our lawyer, we couldn't sue each other and use him. It would be a conflict of interest. You've got to get She-Hulk. I'll get him first. I call Waleed. Sorry. I call Jim. You know Jim's a good lawyer.

Why? He's just good at law shit. No, he's a... This guy's a wuss. He's good at jokes. You hear him argue shit, he's good at it. Jim probably would make a pretty good lawyer if he applied himself. Once in his life.

He'd be a pretty good at lawyer if he applied himself. He'd be a pretty good anything if he applied himself. Yeah. Fuck Jim, am I right? Hey, that's our friend, man. Jim, he was talking shit, man. We're protecting him. We're talking about how great you are. What'd you say this time?

Nothing. We didn't say anything this time. Well, he was the one who said some shit. I didn't say anything. You didn't say anything. You know this is going to be on a recording I could just watch it later And you're going to see that he said nothing Luke

AI Did you say Luke? Yeah Just so he'll cover You know what to do Luke Poor Luke What is he seeing from you guys? Luke's seen a lot oh fuck you guys gotta pay him good

we gotta get him to sign something soon we pay him about like I'd say like 5k per minute of video edited cause all the crazy shit it's 4k footage that's 4k per minute cause it's 4k oh okay I thought we gave him a little extra just because it's nearing the

end of the year in Q4. No, no. Q4 is rounding up, guys. Gotta make sure you button your shit up. Well, Jim, like I said, Jim's doing the taxes, so.

He said basically we don't have to, he said the way he's gonna do it it's basically like we're not even paying taxes. It's like, it's something about

offshore something. Like, I don't know. It's too complicated for me. I don't know. It's too complicated for me. I just make the money, you know? Okay. He said, hey, man. I just, hey, man.

I don't deal with that account and shit. I just make the damn money. Okay. Something about the Cayman Islands. I don't know. I got audited. Really? Yeah.

Why? Is the IRS going to come? Why? I mean, you're allowed to talk about the IRS's dealings with you. Basically. Just talk shit about them. You know they're in, you're like, in their scope forever now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, once you're audited.

I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Basically. I challenged the IRS to audit SuperMega. Anyways, go on. Basically, I made some money. Do not, you have to cut that. I challenge the IRS to audit Jim. Jim wants to be audited by the IRS.

Jim Auditor Challenge! Jim gets audited challenge! They don't know Jim's last name. Twitter, do your thing. Jim. Your last name's public online! No it's not! Is it not? No!

Do you even know his middle name? Wait, is your last name not public online? No it's not! Oh, it's Jim John! I've said it so many times, dude. Jim- **** ****

**** **** Dude, I didn't know your last name wasn't public! Where online have you seen my last name? You're at. No! Go check. We changed it.

Full, like put his social in his bio. Alright, bleep out when I said Jim's last name then. It doesn't matter now, apparently you've been doing it. Have you been doing it? He has been doing it. Fuck you, dude! Dude, how was I supposed to know your private- But why?

What are you hiding? I'm hiding something. Your fam- why? What are you hiding? I'm hiding something. Your family. Why? What do they do? They're just a bunch of racists. Yeah. My family's nice. Racists can be nice. Yeah.

That's how they get you. That's how they get you, yeah. That's how they got me. Hey, man. From the South, I mean, some of the nicest people could suddenly turn around and say the most racist shit. That's true. You know? You know what it is?

A la carte motherfuckers. What? What was that? What's from South Carolina? That's supposed to be a white person? Oh. That's a good white accent, right? Oh, but the second Ryan does his famous Nigerian accent, it loses their mind.

I can only do that at live shows now. Yeah, when no one's recording. Yeah. You do a good job, though. It's really convincing. You actually can do it? Yeah. Do you want to try?

We usually get a guest to try an accent, and we pick one. There's like a wheel. I can't do any accents. Can't do any. Even if I was asked to do a brown accent. What's a brown accent sound like? What do you mean?

Like an Indian? There's a lot of brown people that exist that aren't just Indians. I'm just saying if Marvel came up to me. Also, it's a Native American, by the way. No, but if Marvel came up to me, they're like, hey, we have this role for a brown person, but we need you to do an accent. I'm like, I'm just not good at it. But if it was Marvel, you'd do it for the money.

Yeah, I would. Now, pretend I'm the exec from Marvel. I say, all right, Wadley, let's see it. Best Indian accent. Let's go. Hello. Hello. That's right.

You passed. You passed because an Indian man can live in America and just, you know, have the exact same accents as you and me. Oh, yeah. Technically, I'm doing a Nigerian accent right now. It's a man that lives in Nigeria that grew up in the United States. My uncle was an Iron Man.

He did an accent. Ooh, really? Who was he? He was a terrorist. I was about to... Wait, your uncle actually played a terrorist? Yeah. Was he a doctor?

Was he a scientist? No, he was the... No, he was a terrorist. No, he had some lines, which is cool. But apparently they were paying him like 5K a week. Fuck yeah. Damn. Yeah, I would give him an accent.

That's before Disney, too. Dress me up, dude. I'll do the same role for that much. That's awesome. He's crushing it. I'd probably do a pretty good job. You did play Mowgli. I did play Mowgli.

Who's Mowgli again? From the Jungle Book. Oh. Did you actually? In that 5th grade play Oh They tanned him up and everything They did brown me up a little bit Yeah

And there's a DVD of it I've never shown anyone But I'll show you When you come to South Carolina Over Christmas We're still gonna watch Signs Can we watch Signs

On a stormy night In South Carolina? Oh yeah That sounds good. And then Signs with Mel Gibson? I know you love Mel Gibson. I've never watched anything from Mel Gibson. Braveheart, never watched. Same here, I don't know. I've seen Braveheart. I heard it's really good.

I don't really, I didn't care for it too much. I don't like movies like that. I'm not a big fan of movies like that. Machismo, babe. He's brave. He's ripped. Die Hard maybe. Die Hard is great. I still haven't seen the original Die Hard. I've only seen a live free Die Hard

with Justin Long and Kevin Smith who's the hacker in it. I think Kevin Smith plays the hacker. Oh, you remember? Yeah, it was bad. It's all in theaters with With me? No. Your dad. Yep.

He sees any bad movie from the 2000s, bring it up. I saw it in theaters with my dad. That's sick. Didn't you see Little Man in theaters with your dad? That's the one with Marlon Wayans. I probably saw that with my dad, but it also seems like a Jim type of movie.

It's definitely not that Jim. His stepdad, Jim. They're pretty similar people. Jim doesn't watch movies with the Wayans brothers or actors of that caliber. He says caliber. I don't know what he means by that. We all know what he means a little bit.

I try. He doesn't like comedy. Exactly. He doesn't like black comedy, like dark humor. Well, I think I'd call it that. Black comedy. Yeah. Well, I think I'd call it that. What, black comedy? Yeah. They do just, I mean, they have, I mean, you can just say dark humor, dry humor.

I guess that's not the same. Yeah, I guess it's like more. Yeah. Well, because like if I'm on a, if I'm on like Netflix and it has the genres, it says black comedy, I assume that it's, it's not referring to like dark humor, you know? Dark humor? No. What do you mean by that? No, you know? Dark humor? No. What do you mean by that?

You know what I mean. Waleed's right here. Do that accent again. We're joking. You gotta do an accent. Oh. Do you guys like Marvel movies? No.

I watch them. Did you like them at all? I like some of them, yeah. Yeah, I like the earlier ones. Yeah. Now they're all bad. They're all shit. I don't know. The past like four, five, six, that's like four or five six maybe shows the i'm so sad i was a fan of all the shows

yeah well the thing is they know it's gonna make ass loads of money regardless and it does and it's good and the shows are just good like marketing yeah keeping these characters alive now we can sell this with that character on oh yeah now we got this with that Disney buying Marvel and Star Wars was such a big move for them. Because they were like, oh, yeah. We're going to fucking. Yeah. Yeah.

Simpsons. Dude, I just watched. I don't want to spoil anything. What did you watch? She-Hulk. Oh, dude. Don't you dare spoil She-Hulk on our podcast. Are you sure?

Yeah. I'm positive. Daredevil's in it. And they fuck. Ah! Wally! Yeah, I'm positive Daredevil's in it And they fuck Ah! WALL-E'd! He doesn't care about her looks Because he's blind

True king You know what I'm saying? That's how Jim gets girls usually Can we put a spoiler notice? Just cause one time I spoiled A Marvel movie on accident Dude, I promise you No one watching our podcast

Is gonna get pissed that you You said a spoiler for a shoot. All the comments are all pissed. Thor loses an eye, but he gets a bag. Not because you said that. All the comments in this video, all the top comments are going to be furious at you for spoiling. Hey, those in the comments, share your favorite Marvel spoilers. And your favorite Waleed moment. Back to back.

Your favorite Marvel Waleed moment? Back to back? Your favorite Marvel Waleed moment? Basically, I was on another podcast like four years ago when this movie came out. Endgame. Yeah, Endgame, when that one came out. As a joke, I said, Spider-Man's gonna die. As a joke? As a joke. I watched the movie.

Matt, Spider-Man actually did die in the movie. Yeah, but I didn't... You serious? I didn't know that because the movie. Yeah. Are you serious? I didn't know that because the movie hadn't came out yet. But when the episode came out, it was like the day of the movie. I said, yeah, Spider-Man does. So people actually... People are livid.

They're like, how fucking dare you? Say, I was just fooling. Yeah, but... I was just goofing around a little bit. It was a good guess. That is a really funny guess, and then it happens. Yeah. But I got death threats.

Didn't we do something like that once? What? Yeah. Death threats? Okay, like, fuck you, rotten hell, or I'm going to kill you. Yeah, you think it's fucking funny, you pig. Jesus. Some weird shit like that.

Goddamn. Dude, Marvel fans are vicious. Has a Marvel fan ever actually followed up on that, though? Nah, they're cat. No. Has a Marvel fan ever actually followed up on that though? Nah, they're cat. I hereby challenge all Marvel fans who want to talk some shit, do it. Do the shit. To Waleed. To Waleed. If someone actually kills Waleed now, then I'm gonna feel real bad. You said talk some shit, not kill Waleed.

I said do some shit. Oh. I thought you said talk some shit. But that can mean talk. I said instead of talk shit, how about you do shit? They kill me and they write She-Hulk Daredevil spoiler. In your chest. They carve spoiler word across your forehead with a knife. You know, I do some shit also could just imply like get a job and stop caring so much about superhero movies. Well, WALL-E does have a job.

Well, I'm talking about like to them in general. When I say instead of talk some shit, do some shit. WALL-E does a very good job Wally does have a job. Well, I'm talking about, like, to them in general. When I say instead of talks, I'm sure you do some shit. Wally does a very good job. It's a great job. I love the, mm-hmm. Yeah, they pay me pretty good over in markets. You guys have health insurance here? Yep.

Really? What the fuck? Really good health insurance. It is. It's a gold PPO. No way. Yep. Jim gets it?

Yes. No way. So does Justin and Layton. Holy shit. We don't get it, though, unfortunately. Dental and vision, too. You guys don't get it? No, we do. Jim gets it? Yes. No way. So does Justin and Layton. Holy shit. We don't get it though, unfortunately. Dental and vision too. You guys don't get it? No, we do.

No, we don't. We want to take care of our employees. They're doing a lot for us. Well, you're not an employee. Yeah. You're with someone else. That's a very bold. You can jump ship, psych.

That's a bold way to ask for a job. Shit, sign me up. Sign me up. Well, I can do a job interview. Shit, sign me up. Y'all hired. The confidence, I mean, if I was a boss, well, I am a boss. How about this?

I'll make it easier for you guys. Okay. 48%, 48%, all right? You give me 4%, and I'll just kind of be like a goofball around the office, you know, boost office morale up. 4%. Yeah. 4%.

It's not bad. It's not bad. We're not making any, it's not like we'd be making that much less than what we're making now. We'd have to be making a lot more to lose more,

you know what I'm saying? That's just how it works. We bring on Waleedy signs so that finds out that we're, we're making, netting like 10,000 a year. What the fuck?

But you still have to show up and goof around the office. Yeah, every day. And you sign it, dude. You're our goofball now. You have to wear a little outfit with bells and shit. You're not gonna ring me up and goof around the office. Hey, you signed it, dude. You're our goofball now. You have to wear a little outfit with bells and shit.

You're not going to ring me up? Like a jester's cab. He has to perform magic tricks for us while we're eating lunch. He comes up with a deck of cards. Like, all right, Wally, let's see it. Like she's hella sick at it. You poof into the restroom when we're using it. Pranked.

Gotcha. Snaps a picture. Oh, Wally. Posted to social. Tweet it. Tweet it. Just sitting on the Gotcha! Snaps a picture. Oh, Waleed. Posted to social. Tweeted it? Tweeted it? Just sitting on the toilet taking a shit my dick out. And I'm just like... There's a camera there, a camera there. Got me, dude. Classic Waleed pranks, man.

But Waleed, where can people go see your pranks? Oh, they can see my pranks on Instagram. Well, you gotta say the... At Waleedvestoprank? That's not your ad. Listen, Wally, we're giving you a really big opportunity here, and you're just

making jokes about it. Do you know how big we are? You guys are pretty big. Yeah. Guess how many subscribers? Almost a million. Mm-hmm. Yep. You know. This is a privilege that most people would kill their mom to have, and we're giving it to you, and you're just making jokes? I thought it would be a little funny.

No, it's not funny. It's not funny. It's disrespectful to us. Twitter, my Twitter is Wallyloves2jokes. I hope someone goes and gets that username. It makes a horrible account. So everyone's like, all right, I'll check him out, and they're like, Jesus Christ. It's all racist.

Who is this guy? Hey, Jim. Do you want to plug the Patreon? Nope. I don't want to. Ryan, come on. Please, man. Nobody needs to know about our Patreon. Especially that they can spend $5 to get a bunch of behind-the-scenes shit. Plus an extra 15 to 20 minutes or however

long we decide to record at the end of this episode called After Hours. Super Mega After Hours? Only $5. It's only on the Patreon. That's a deal. You're not going to say a single word about that. No. I think people kind of are getting tired of it and they don't want to hear about them potentially having to spend $5 a month to see behind the

scenes and other extras. Well mainly to support us. And to support us. Who would in their right mind want to hear some bullshit about $5 on Patreon for exclusive content? Not me. us and to support us who would in their right mind want to hear some bullshit about five dollars on patreon for exclusive content not me not not not super mega yeah no i don't i i don't want to hear about it either i don't want to hear about how they could go and you know get podcast episodes early and early videos and behind the scenes and bonus videos and after our segment a monthly q a where they can ask questions and we can...

Yeah, and only for $5. That's a steal. You don't want to give them that information. No. No. Because then we're just... We're losing money, technically.

Yeah. But yeah, I guess we should go ahead and just do that extra segment for Patreon. Yeah. Where Waleed's going to do his famous impressions now. He was pretending like

he didn't know about it on the podcast, but we're saving it for Patreon. The wheel of impressions. Mm-hmm. That's a good do his famous impressions now. He was pretending like he didn't know about it on the podcast, but he was saving it for Patreon. The wheel of impressions. That's a good fucking idea for a video. Oh, Chinese. Let's do it. All right, here's Waleed's actual ads where you can find him.

He has a new podcast out. Foul tip. Go check out his new podcast. Go listen to it. Yep. There's plenty more where this came from and clickety clack that like button

subscribe please we're almost at a million if you really help us out guys tell your friends they're almost at a million we're close you know what happens when they hit a million you guys are deleting your channel right yeah

Unus Onus thought they were the only ones that could do that You guys are deleting your channel, right? Yeah. Unus Honus thought they were the only ones that could do that. Except theirs was a timed thing. Ours is just a subscriber thing. So you guys are about to lose almost seven years of memories. Joke's on you. We're killing our income completely, but the joke's on you. Alright, guys. Thank you, Wally, for coming on.

Thank you for having me. Lots of goofs and gaffs in this one. Sorry. I'm a goofball. Amen. Love it. Can't apologize for what I am. Bye, guys. Bye. Matt and Ryan, that was not funny. But I love Super Mega. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard

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