supermegashow - EP 322 - Inaugural Defecation

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Ryan makes slime. Right now, go to https://BuyRaycon.com/supermega and use code EARLYBF to get 20% off SITEWIDE! Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/supermega. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/supermega and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish.

Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone.

Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. And then I said, what do I look like, a lawyer? Oh my God. Anyways, welcome everyone to another episode of the Super Mega Cast. Matt and I are ecstatic to have you guys watch and listen, however you decide to.

However you may choose to do so. Yeah, to consume our product Thank you You know some people their product is they have to bake a cake They have to get a bunch of different Plastic pieces from Chinese manufacturers And ship them across the ocean And assemble them not us

Our product is laughs and giggles And happiness An intangible product And sometimes Just sprinkled in unwarranted and non-studied opinions on non-political events that are happening also intangible yes so we offer quite the array of products and we're we're white not afraid to say it not afraid to fucking say it.

Not going to back down on that one, guys. I'm not afraid. I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. I'm white and I'm proud. I will not apologize for being white. Is it wrong to be proud of your whiteness? I don't think it is.

Why? Like, generations for me to be white, you know? For me to have this skin tone. Four billion years. Four billion generations. From a single-celled organism to a path to make me white. I didn't have any say in that. To become a reptile-type creature.

I went through all the steps. We were fish, we were reptiles. Mammals. We were mammals, And we were monkeys. And now we're white. You know? We're still mammals. Still mammals.

We ain't nothing but mammals. Eminem. Elvis song? Oh. Well, Eminem lifted those lyrics from Elvis when Elvis goes, what does he fucking say? He goes, feminist women love Elvis. Yeah, you know. Elvis, I'm sick of him. Look at him walking around grabbing his you know what, flipping the you know who. Yeah. Someone's. Elvis, I'm sick of him. Look at him walking around

grabbing his you-know-what, flipping the you-know-who. Yeah. Someone's going to clip that white thing. I hope so. And just put it on. And then mainstream Twitter

is going to get a hold of it. I don't think we're big enough for mainstream Twitter. It doesn't matter. Well, no. If the clip of us saying we're proud of being white, which we are,

hits mainstream Twitter, we're cooked. Our goose is cooked. So people are proud to be Mexican? And I can't be proud, or in these days they're proud to be black? And I can't be proud to be white? Now why are you doing that voice?

You're mocking my culture now. I'm mocking white culture. White. You're mocking my culture and all of its good cultural things like coleslaw and string cheese. Red hats. Plungers maybe. Plungers might have been invented by a

white person. Plungers are a crucial part of white culture. I don't think indoor plumbing was. I mean I'm still down to shit in a bedpan. Who invented the bedpan? I'll tell you right now Was there a person like That actually is charged with

Charged like it's a crime? Dude I don't think anyone specific invented it Because people just Someone was like I got a shit and there's just a pot And they're like alright I don't know While healthy adults could use a chamber pot Which might be kept in a cabinet or attached beneath a hole in a chair seat,

the bedpan was designed for the immobile. Ooh, the particular bedpan was made by a New York pewter named Frederick Bassett. Ooh, Frederick Bassett. In what year? The 1800s. Mmm. I'll tell you, I'll tell you. I'll tell you who he was. You better

You got everyone excited to learn who Frederick Bassett is I can't find any fucking pictures of him dude Just give me a second man I need to know who That's not him Maybe that's him Does he look like a Frederick? No that's a poet

There's no pictures of him Of course there wasn't it was a long time ago 1800 I bet he was handsome He invented the shitting pan There's no pictures of him Well of course there wasn't it was a long time ago Yeah 1800 I bet he was handsome He invented the shitting pan It's not called a bed pan I don't go to bed in it Why don't we use that I have to like wake up And walk to a toilet

I wish I could just pull out a pan from under my bed Lean my ass over The side of the bed just Do what I need to do Do a quick little squirt And fall back asleep You know it'll dry and there won't be too much of a mess on the sheets, I hope. We need to normalize bedpan usage in 2022.

That's the least we can do. That's the least we can do as a society these days. Well, super mega. I was saying that's the least we could do. Oh, the least we could do. Yeah, for sure. We got to normalize bedpan usage. I want everyone out there to go buy themselves a bedpan and start using that.

We got to make it normal. And it's not going to become normal unless you guys start doing it i'll be doing it people use bidets that that became a more popular trend in america in the last five years why can't using a bedpan why very convenient why would i want to waste my energy and wake up in the middle of night and you know what if your bathroom's down the hall you could get murdered while you're walking down the hall you guys ever wake up in the middle of the night you're scared to leave your room and go into the darkness of the hall because Because that's where a murderer could be. Yep.

Or a ghost. Why not just, you know, do your business? Honestly, now we're just getting into, like, convenience. Adult diapers could come back into fashion. If we're going full, if we're going all the way. See, the thing is, it's a pendulum, Ryan. The bedpan is mid-swing. Adult diapers all the way. And it the thing is, it's a pendulum, Ryan. The bedpan is mid-swing. The adult diaper is all the way, and it's a progression.

We can't go full swing. I think that we could have celebrity backing, because as we have seen, there are celebrities out there, and I'll name one in particular, Liam Neeson, who has, on multiple occasions, soiled himself in public. He has, yes. And you know what would have saved him from embarrassment? A diaper. Super mega brand adult diapers. Super mega brand adult diapers. Super mega brand adult diapers.

See, we can, you know what? We could lead that train. Photoshop pictures of diapers on Liam Neeson. And that's what, that's our marketing. And Photoshop out

like the piss stains and stuff on his pants in those pictures and say this is what could have been. You know? Not a bad idea. Would you guys buy

adult diapers branded with our with our company emblem not to be used for kink no fetish purposes no strictly unless you're in the middle of a sexual act and nature calls yes and it's strictly unrelated as as a kink right it's i'm not oh i'm poop my diaper. It's all about convenience. Convenience is the number one with this product. Matt and I, I feel have been pretty clear. You got to use it correctly. You know, it's a power, you know, you use it or you lose it.

And if you use it in the wrong ways, you're going to lose it. So, yeah, I think that we've started this podcast off with a number of good topics. Yeah. Welcome back to Super Megacast, everybody. I know. Or if it's your first episode, welcome. Glad to have you. Got quite a nice beginning to introduce you, if you've never listened to Who We Are as People.

I'm sure it was very entertaining for you, and you enjoyed yourself, and you sat in your chair, and you thought to yourself, damn, these two young men are very witty, funny, nostalgic, because we like to give throwbacks sometimes. We do. And, most of all, handsome. Handsome, but don't forget there's another one up there with that. Ooh. Intellectual. Yes, very intellectual.

Sometimes we talk about space. Sometimes we talk about video games, which you have to have a pretty you have to have room in your heart and your brain to be able to succeed in video games yeah it's not just mind games you're consistently learning you are

that's the whole thing about being a gamer is growth you're constantly learning you think you just stroll into Hyrule and just beat the game no you have to learn as you go and progress and grow as a person. You get to go fight Ganondorf without even completing a side quest or seeing what's going on in the nearby villages and helping them out? Absolutely not.

That would be self-serving. Absolutely. And that's the whole point of being a gamer is growth. It's not self-preservation. It's not. Gaming is not a selfish act. No. It's something that you do.

You do do it to help yourself, but you also ultimately do it to help others because the lessons you learn in video games are things that can be applied to the real world to help other people. Yes. I full-heartedly agree. But we do have, this is the first time we actually have a planned topic,

more so a planned performance. Matt has agreed to perform his favorite song off of his newest album, Acapella. That's right. Just like with music that needs its fucking instrumentals and shit to hit home the narrative. Do you think I'm not good enough to do it without instruments? No, I feel like you're-

You think my voice isn't good enough just to do an acapella? Is that the joke? Your voice is fine, but your music all the time more so lends to the music kind of invigorating the emotional feelings you want uh the audience to feel which your voice does help with but i feel like the music in it is a huge factor in that as well otherwise you wouldn't make it or produce it that's true, now I feel like to be a real artist, my next album has to be fully acapella. How do you like them apples? Odds are you have to release a single acapella and it can't be comedy.

Or it can't be seen as comedy. 20, 3, 2, 1, 19. Fuck you. Yeah, we have not been matched lately. We haven't. When's the last time we've lost an odds are to each other? It's been a while, man. We did it on the podcast with Freddie.

Yeah, and we lost both of those. No, we got one. Did we? Yeah. Which one was it? Maybe it was with Baby No Money or Waleed. I don't remember. It was like odds are we go to ad breaks or something.

One of those whites. Yeah, and then we went to ad breaks because of it but i'll do an acapella for you you want me to gotta be starting something gotta be starting something that's not that's not that's not off i did a cover idea it is i did a cover of michael jackson's gotta be starting something on my album it's the opening track so one. One, two, three, four. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be

starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. Gotta be starting something. I don't want to spoil the first track. Okay. Okay. I was going to see how long you'd let me go. I would have genuinely gone on as long as you would have let me.

I wish I let you went on. I would have been one of those. One, two. No, I'm just kidding. I gotta be starting something. What song is it that he says that... Every single one. It's an Easter egg.

He plants it in there just for the lucky listeners he had like fried his vocal cords god I miss him dude why do you have to go up and fucking die why do you have to OD on a mixture of

barbiturates and opiates it's his doctor's fault Dr. Conrad Murphy Murphy was he sentenced to death? He should have been. He should have been that bad. They should have done

a public execution with Dr. Conrad Murphy. Stadium style. For everyone to tune in publicly. All the Michael Jackson stans could show up. Because you know, that's a rabid crowd.

If they were still to do public executions, would you go for shooting, beheading, or hanging? Or electrification? Shooting.

Okay. Hanging, you've probably got like a good, I don't know. You got some time to feel it before you lose consciousness. Yeah. Or suffocate. Electrocution is not a fast death. Electric chair is your... It's fun to watch.

It is fun to watch. I do have to say, it's a lot more satisfying than, you know, watching just... Boom. It's over. But electrocution, the guy's gonna go... And you're gonna see a skeleton, too. You're gonna see a skeleton through the black and white, like, zaps. He's gonna be like...

What's his name? Marv from... What's his... Is his name Marv from Home Alone? The one who gets electrified. Do you see his skeleton? Yeah. He goes.

I wish that's how electrocution was because then the electric chair would be a very fun spectacle to watch where you can see their skeleton. And then like their hair is like, you know? Yeah. And it's like. But unfortunately, it's not that funny. I mean, they just go you know as a joke that'd be great man comes back yeah well no it stops for a second and his face is all like charred his hair is like all black and sticking out and he's like

you know there's like a brief, a brief pause. See, that would be fun. If I had to be executed 100% gunshot to the back of the head, what other way? What other ways is instant like that? Beheading is they had their scientific evidence. The beheading is not blade dulls. Or are you talking about even after that? No, I mean, because they, they sever it, but you know, you've, you've got a few seconds of consciousness when you're ahead, when you've got a few seconds of consciousness.

When you're ahead? When you're just ahead? Yeah. I mean, you're going to pass out real quick within a matter of seconds. But think of it. Your brain doesn't just stop working the second that's severed, right? Justin put a pumpkin, a little pumpkin or squash. A squash. It's like that big.

And he's making it look like a thin little penis. Like it's a thin little penis. All right, Justin. Are you heading home, Justin? I'll see you tomorrow, buddy. All right. It's only 1130, but... Got here 30 minutes ago.

That's fine. He's got games to play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man. Yeah? What's up, dude? Justin pushed his head in. I was going to say something,

and then I didn't think it was funny anymore here take this for the rest of the podcast it's a good luck charm thank you it's Justin's little penis his thin little penis yeah

so uh have a good podcast thank you Justin and uh I'll see you guys tomorrow check it out dude I'm uh Edward Squash Hands

keep working no wait I'm what uh what not Captain, I'm... Uh... What? Not Captain Hook. I'm Captain, uh... Captain Gord? You must be out of your gourd if you think that's funny.

Arrgh. Alright, I'm leaving. Yeah. I'm a pumpkin pirate. Arrgh. Alright, yep. It's not a pumpkin, but it's close enough. Anyway, yeah, dude, would you still love me if my hand looked like this? Yeah, I'd love you. 100%.

If I just had, like, a yellow single. With all my heart. Oh. Like a Postmates order or something? It's, like, three packages of tampons? It has your name on it, so it's on the front door. You want me to bring it in? No, just leave it out there.

Someone must be pranking us again. Okay, well, you guys can cut it out. That is the third. Yeah, cut that out, Luke. That is the third order, though, this month. must be pranking us again. Okay, well, you guys can cut it out. That is the third. Yeah, cut that out, Luke. That is the third order, though, this month. Someone's pranking us again. It's a monthly thing. I don't know what to tell you. Someone's pranking me.

Somebody is pranking me. They got my phone number. See ya. I'm hungry. Yeah, let's get ad breaks. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.

Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. Big Mac, McRap, McFlurry, and a McDouble. Keep it rare, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets.

Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior Chicken will be firing a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pounder with cheese, a flatfish, oh please. McGrudas, a McMuffin, and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, HodgePot, hotcakes. Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Yeah, get me a, um, uh, Layton, can you get me a large go fuck yourself?

Nah, I'm just kidding, actually. Let me get a, let me get in on that. Jumpin' jellyfish, we're back. Yep. Uh, Matt's putting in a food order, uh, for, for a sandwich place, place, which only some people have heard about. It's our favorite sandwich place. Yeah, it's a pretty good sandwich. Got some good morals.

That they do, Leighton. That they do. We actually can only order it because of Leighton. Because of his approval. They're very picky on how they make their food. Their quality. Yeah, I worked there at the Prager University pop-up food shop. Quality's their main focus. You can say they're pretty anal about it.

They are pretty anal about their quality, which is... The way that bird's cooked. That bird is cooked up good, I'll tell you that. That man's spicy bird's pretty good. I wish they'd let me choose more sauces, you know? It's fucked up I only get two. What? Only two sauces? I know if I go large, but I'm getting a sandwich meal.

But then if you get the large fry with it, then you also get the three sauces as well. Oh, life hack. Oh, you're right, dude. That's a fucking life hack. Do you like the honey roasted barbecue? I don't. Well, I do like it. I just don't.

I only eat it when I have the club sandwich. Oh, really? I put the honey roasted barbecue on the spicy chicken sandwich. Yeah, I just got an array of sauces. I'm proud of you, man. And you're going to get the regular? No, four count. There you go, Leighton.

Tenders. Four count tendies. Okay, okay. Yeah, so. Sure, sure. I'll do it. Is it just the three of us at the office now? Did everyone else go home?

Yes. So it's just the real OGs now. Now that Justin fella is, uh... He's skedaddled on home. Oh, he... Yeah, he's got a temper. He's quite bullish in the office. He is very bullish.

Oh, it's an intimidation thing for sure when he stands behind you and breathes down your neck well he does it to you mainly i mean he knows he knows better than to you know mess with the bull get the horns you know yeah he is an asshole layton and layton if i'm being honest i think you might he picks on you because of your size. Him being 7'5 or 7'6, you need to drink your milk so you can get taller. And I know it's not fair because he does wear huge ass... He's 7'6 inches? 7'6 inches. Ever since he started wearing those platforms.

He's lifting, you know Yeah, the platform the platforms I you know, it's like he was already intimidating just normally but yeah with the with the the platforms I know I know it's it's practically stilts at that point, right? He also counts the fro. He does count the fro, and that adds a good, what, eight, nine inches? Does he call it a fro? He calls it a fro. I didn't call it that. That's what he calls it.

And I said, well, Justin, you know, there's implications behind calling it a fro. You know why they call it a fro? Yeah, I do. Do you? No, I don't, actually. I was trying to sound smart, but why do they call it a fro? I mean, Kramer said it best himself when he apologized. Oh, what type of people he called out. There are a couple Afro-Americans.

No, he doesn't even say Americans. He says Afro-Americans. Afro-Americans? Like one word? One word, yeah. Michael Richards, you clever son of a bitch. Coming up with new words all the time. Well, at least he meant that apology.

About 50 years ago, maybe. No, the apology was less than a decade ago. Actually, it was more than a decade ago. That took place in 2006. So actually, it's almost... We're going to be coming up on two decades of Kramer's oopsies. It's hard to believe. Time flies. Do you remember when that happened?

I remember when that happened. I don't remember the exact day. I remember it was a Tuesday. It was a Thursday. Nope. It was June. Better not say 14th. No, it was November.

Wait, the anniversary just passed. I want to say it was like November 4th, 2006 or November 14th. The anniversary just passed. Do you like keep it on your calendar I'll tell you when it happened I think November when Michael Richards said the n-word appreciation day is that what you have written on it on your google cal oh yeah um uh I'm just trying to find when he did this Here's a TMZ article

From November 20th 2006 Okay it was November 19th 2006 Okay So now we know exactly For all of you If you want to put that in your calendars Matt already has it in his Yeah so that's next month or this month

When this podcast comes out This might come out The week of Which We didn't do on purpose No but Obviously It would be awesome

If this did come out On November 19th 2022 You know Showing our support For Michael Richards Yes To be able to speak his mind freely.

It's really fucked up what the woke media did to him. Fucking took his comedy career right away from him. Also that, and now Kanye West is the one being attacked by the woke left. The mob. The woke mob elitists. Whatever happened to freedom of speech, Ryan? I don't know. I thought I could say whatever I wanted to without any repercussions. You know? That's what freedom of speech, Ryan? I don't know. I thought I could say whatever I wanted to without any repercussions.

That's what freedom of speech is. It means you can say whatever you want, especially on national television, and have zero consequences. If I work for a business and I decide to go on a—let's say I work for UPS. Right. I ring the person's ring doorbell, and if I decide to call them a bunch of slurs, epithets, and dirty things, luckily for me,

with the freedom of speech, because the company doesn't want to be represented that way or doesn't want, you know, those views to seem like they're their own or they're defending those, but unfortunately, America takes the side of this one right here. to seem like they're their own or they're defending those.

But unfortunately, America takes the side of this one right here. This guy right here. You can say whatever you want. Freedom of speech, baby. It doesn't matter. Just the only stipulation is that you have to mean it.

You have to mean it. Yeah. From the bottom of your heart. And I'm glad that so many Americans do understand what freedom of speech truly means. It means that you can say whatever you want with no repercussions. Yes. You know, if I go up to a big guy on the street and I call him an asshole and he wants to fight me, guess who's in the wrong there?

Him. Him. Because he didn't respect your freedom of speech. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. If I go up to, let's say, if I go to another country, right? Right. I'm a U.S. citizen.

Right. Therefore protected by the sanctity of U.S. law. Yeah, that applies abroad too. So if I try to protest in this country or if I start holding up signs or whatever, claiming that they're dirty or disgusting, and people get upset with me, that I'm trying to clench, you know, the dirty portions of the world. You're protected under American law.

That's freedom of speech. It transfers with you when you go to other countries. All American laws transfer with you when you go to other countries, which is fucking awesome. Which is why Americans walk around big dick swinging in every other country they visit. Because we're not afraid, you know? We're not afraid of all you Europeans and Australians.

Americans are the only ones with rights. With promised rights. We're the only ones with freedom. We just got back from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Yep. We were doing a week-long protest. We had cans of tomato soup, which we threw on the statues of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-un. I mean, I say all those things about, you know, the dirty regions of the world.

But our U.S. president did say, you know, shithole countries. The shithole countries thing? Still president, so that just proof in of itself that America stands by, you know, the whole freedom of speech doesn't matter. Speaking of freedom of speech, I'm getting a FaceTime from Luke,

the editor of this podcast. Here we go, Luke. Yeah, guess where I am, Luke. My desk? Does this look where I am, Luke. My desk? Does this look like your desk, Luke? Fuck, podcaster was shit. Fucker. Well, this is after the first ad break,

so we're about 20-something minutes. Something like that. I don't know. Sorry, I did not realize you were podding. I had a premiere question. Oh, yeah, lay it on me. All right, well, are you recording right now are we like in the pod we are in the pod Luke so this this is going to be beneficial to you as well as you aspiring editors out there okay here it's a really fucking nitpicky thing and I've already restarted premiere but I might

need to restart my I haven't restarted my computer so I'm saying I've restarted okay so watch this I'm watching you put a little disclaimer at the end of this one about the fucking you say you're gonna beat up Aiden Ross and then you're like wait Luke actually throw this in at the end right

like I'm not gonna beat him up this is making fun of Connie or some shit right okay so I've been I put it in here you're not gonna beat up Aiden Ross Right. I'm not going to beat him up. This is making fun of Kanye or some shit. Right. Okay, so I put it in here. You're not going to beat up Aiden Ross? We'll talk about that in a minute. Luke, you're breaking up, bro.

He's going through a tunnel. He's on his laptop editing while driving. He just went through a tunnel. Luke! The service isn't great here. Well, I guess he'll have to figure it out all on his own. We're back. Not that we left.

But we're back. I probably should answer his question. Yeah. Go ahead. Give him a call back. If it breaks up again, that's his problem. He's getting into the work hours. He's getting in the work hours. He's getting in the way of us creating gaffes and giggles. Hey, buddy.

What's the issue? Uninformed satire. He's gone. Did he freeze again? What happens when you play it? Tell him to try harder. I can't see what's going on at all, brother. Yeah.

Send me a video and I'll text you my response. Yeah. Fuck. Here, I'm gonna send you a little video. Send me a video and I'll text you my response. Alright. Peace, brother. Peace. Sorry about that, guys. Luke is a little ill-informed when it comes to social cues.

He doesn't understand not to call when we're doing the podcast. It is his job to edit the podcast so he's the one editing right now. I don't know if he wants to put himself out there more and be in more episodes

no Luke go ahead and just get that selfie of yours off the screen that's not what we were saying we didn't ask for a selfie of you to be put up also the vacation photos Luke don't need those either thank you Luke well yeah I mean he's a nice guy

I love Luke he's got some funny tweets we play video games every now and then My favorite tweets of his are the ones about professional basketball I always know what he's talking about Oh yeah When he tweets about basketball I mostly The basketball stuff, you know, I wasn't too big into sports

But the stuff that I can usually follow is like He likes to review like children's shows. Yeah. But like kind of not well-known children's shows. Right, right. That's pretty cool. It's a cool hobby. That's his own solo podcast.

Because he has the movie podcast and then he has the solo children's show reviewing podcast. Because like he says and like I like to think he's a child at heart. Like MJ, like Michael Jackson, you're a hero. Yeah. Well, Luke's another hero of mine. Him and Michael are similar in many ways. Yep. It's so hard to not.

He's like, no, no, keep it with Jim. He's like, don't make those jokes with me now. No, no, no, no, no, no. Please, just, we haven't made any lasting jokes about Luke yet. I know. So... But, I mean, he can't steal Jim's thunder in being the predator of The Office.

Right, so... Well, not just The Office. In the outside world. So I would say Luke can be a... We have a gay one. We have a gay one. We have a predator. We have a gay one we have a predator we've got all the diversity

Justin is Puerto Rican and Syrian yeah oh a little did he mention

the nevermind Inuit yes yeah I thought it was pretty cool he speaks the language he doesn't want people

to kind of know his genetic makeup because he's afraid of clone. Cloning. Clone someone just based on knowing, like, he's white. Let's clone him. I get the percentages just right. I can create a second Justin. They're going to be in a lab.

The percentage is just one off. It creates just a real fucked up version. More fucked up than the one that already exists. Philip Seymour Kaufman. What's that? What? He died. It's like a fucked up version of Philip Seymour Kaufman. What's that? What? He died. It's like a fucked up version of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Luke buys alcohol for minors. That's his thing. Oh. No, he doesn't. Yeah, that's Luke's thing. No, it's not. Luke's... You know Luke.

Luke sells drugs to... Minors. To minors that are in addiction rehab programs to get them off the drugs. Yes. And he's waiting outside the meetings for them because it's an easy sale. He doesn't, it's his interaction with minors is not the way Jim's is.

Luke's is strictly to turn a profit, which I do have to respect. Well, I mean, there is, he does have his way of kind of coaxing kind of a better viewpoint out of people when he talks about it. For me, I know he mentions that he's just trying to prevent violence within the community. And by giving them these drugs, it leads to less withdrawals and less violence.

Luke is a modern saint. He's a fantastic guy. Giving fentanyl to the children. Love you, Luke. Luke, you gotta make sure that, I mean, what, there's been what, four deaths so far? Luke, you gotta start testing this shit before you sell it. Test it

for us, at least. I can't force you to test it for the kids, but for YouTubers Matt and Ryan, you gotta make sure the drugs we're using are clean yeah and a taste test too yeah because last time that cocaine did not taste good not at all i spit it out a group of dudes at a party just they don't know how to do cocaine they're just like oh oh this tastes like shit is Is this good? They have like spoons, spoonfuls of cocaine. Oh,

blows out like a big cloud of powder. Like, oh, why do people like this? You'd still fuck it. It would still absorb it to you. Oh, you'd get high as,

dude, if you did a spoonful of cocaine, you would die. Prove it. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and men, ladies and men, ladies and men and men i mean it makes more sense ladies and men you know i don't know i don't know if they're gentle you know any gentle men i don't

know any gentlemen every man gentle no jim definitely wasn't gentle i'll tell you dale was dale is our jim is not gentle our jim is not gentle in the slightest work on that now he does need to work on that he is he is not gentle layton slightest. He doesn't work on that. No, he does need to work on that. He is not gentle. Leighton has a black eye right now. Yeah. But, you know. Wait, you got a new boyfriend? Fuck. The second I said that, I was like, oh, I set that one up. I know, I had to.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I feel bad. It's good. It's good stuff. It's like, it's a tick, and I have to. The running gag of just these kind people in our lives that are true friends to us and just on our public show that is consumed by... Jim not included by the way. We're talking about Luke

and Justin and Layton Danny from Game Grumps consumed by hundreds of thousands of people monthly. We can't talk. And we're out here just spreading vicious, life ruining lies about them. It's not like spreading lies like,

oh, Jim pooped his pants. It's like, he's a child predator. And we're just getting shits and giggles out of it. Like, just lying about these people that genuinely love us. Well, Jim, if you genuinely loved us, you would. We just show love in different ways. Everyone shows love in different ways.

You know? Is there anyone that we haven't, any of our close friends that we haven't spread a vicious lie about yet? We usually do it to their face when they come on the podcast, too. We did it with Freddie, for example. Well, those weren't lies.

No. He was supporting Kanye. He made us cut out quite a good Kanye ASAP Rocky chunk we talked about. Yeah. Freddie actually did tell a genuinely cool story that we had to cut out, which sucked. Yeah. Involving his kind of come up in the community for anti-semitism which was i thought was cool um i think it shed light on you know this the warning signs that a family member a friend could look out for in a person

it's a dark path but he chose to cut it out which is all on him he he he's a he's a big boy he's an adult he wants to cut out then we're going to cut it out. But, you know, I was a little disappointed. Because I thought that it would have been a good tool to help youth that might be going down the far right path. I have noticed, though, like usually like our podcast, we would throw in some white lies every now and then. And now I feel like every now and then I'm like, wait a second. I'm like, was this whole episode a bit? Did we just lie about people this whole episode? It used to just be more white, like quick white lies.

And now it's just like, yep, our friends are pedophiles and racists. Maybe we should reel it back for a bit. We're not the company we keep. Yeah, because you know what, actually I just realized making those jokes about our closest friends doesn't speak well for us. Yeah, our best friends are racists and

predators. Anyway. Enough about Jim. Like that's our company. We're talking about our company that we've worked so hard for and our friends. Yeah. It's funny. It's hilarious.

Do you have my vaporizer? Ryan, I need my vape. And I need it now. It's my vape and I need it now! This is my vape. What the hell is mine? I don't know. Can I hit it?

This has blueberry and lemon. Can I hit it? This has blueberry and lemon. Can I have it? A taste? Please don't make suggestive sexual faces at me. Don't do that sensual bullshit, cause you know what it does to me. Just let me hit the vape. Stop, Ryan. Holy shit. Hit it a little hard, huh? I just need to stand up real quick.

Careful. Hey, hey. Hey, whoa. Ryan. Hey, I'll get you to... Hey, buddy, buddy, buddy. Ryan, go to ads. Whoa, what are you listening to this for?

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Hi, do you have guided tours today? Imagine having Europe all to yourself during the Air Transat off-season promo. Book your flights to Europe starting at $549 at airtransat.com. Conditions apply. Air Transat. Travel moves us. Hey, everyone. Welcome back. Unfortunately, due to a misunderstanding and an argument that took place, Matt decided not to be here. But that's totally, that's his choice.

And I respect him because I respect him as an as an artist as a comedian as a as a mutual as a musical artist uh yeah I'd say I respect him as well but it's uh his decision not hey man how's how's it going good dude you know just chilling big chilling you know big chungus more like you like that meme big chung Chungus? Yes. I have not laughed as hard as the first time I ever saw Big Chungus. I remember the first time I saw Big Chungus, I was I still remember exactly where I was.

I was at Subway. I just got my food. I was waiting for some friends to get their food. I was sitting at one of the booths about to chow down on my $5 foot long cold cut with honey mustard. Okay. No onions.

And I remember I looked at my Android and I saw Big Chungus. I know. And I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life. Okay. Does anyone in the comments section... Good thing I wasn't eating. I would have choked. People who are watching who remember the first time they saw Big Chungus.

Like, what were your thoughts on Chungus the first time you saw him? I just want to know what your first interactions were in the comments. I actually didn't even, um... ...be eating my sub because my stomach hurt from laughing so bad. And I wouldn't even have... I can't blame you. I wouldn't even have been able to chew or swallow because I would have choked.

I was laughing for that long. And by the time I had finished laughing, which was brief, my sub was cold. My friends were done. I didn't want to waste their time and say, Subway, you know, when it comes to microwave...

It's better fresh, you know. Yeah. And it is. It's surf fresh. Especially toasted. Eat fresh. Why'd they get rid of that slogan? Remember that?

Yeah. Subway, eat fresh. Remember that? It's because people started making a meme and going, eat flesh, and they're like, no. I doubt it. No, I think... Do you think they're that big of babies? Man, think about how much fast food branding's changed.

Remember when McDonald's had a fucking clown? What happened to him? Where'd he go? Where's Ronald? I'm sure Ronald's still sitting on one of the benches somewhere. They axed Ronald, man. They fucking murked him. They took him out of the equation.

Wendy's still there, front and center. Yeah. Is the king still associated with Burger King? I feel like he is. He's the king. When's the last time you saw the king, though? Right? I'm sure. I'm going to look up Burger King? I feel like he is. He's the king. When's the last time you saw the king, though? Right? I'm sure.

I'm going to look up Burger King on TikTok, and I'm sure one of the ads has the king in it. Remember that game Sneak King for, like, PlayStation 2? There's the Sneak King, and then there's the king cart, whatever the fuck it was. I remember there was Fuck King, too, and that one was banned for good reasons. Okay, I'm looking up Burger King.

There has to be an official TikTok account, right? There is. There's a lot looking up Burger King. There has to be an official TikTok account, right? There is. There's a lot of official Burger King TikTok accounts. Oh, for like Burger King Saudi Arabia. Yeah. But we're just going to do the main one. And, ladies and gentlemen, there's no sign of the king anywhere.

Ah, fuck me, man. Hold on a second. I don't see the king. Hold on a second. I got to see the king. Hold on a second. I gotta look this up, man. Oh, here he is. Oh, so he's still around. Babe.

I'm not your babe. When your GF calls you babe in front of the king. I see, okay. That's good. Okay, so the king's still there. The king's still front's good. Okay, so... The king's still there. The king's still front and center.

Well, not like Wendy is, but... The king's still... It's very... ...respect given to him. That's a good... That is a good mascot. I understand why McDonald's axed Ronald, because that one...

People don't like clowns, but the king is not creepy, to say the least. He's very handsome. Everybody loves a monarch. Everyone does love a monarch. Everyone wants to be king. Well, let's see the king is not creepy, to say the least. He's very handsome. Everybody loves a monarch. Everyone does love a monarch. Everyone wants to be king. Well, let's see the king of. Burgers. Yeah, I guess. He's the burger king. So, obviously, he knows one thing.

Does that mean eating at McDonald's or Wendy's is treason? Depends on what territory you're in, yeah. Kneel before the king. Imagine being crowned, knighted by the Burger King. They have those little crowns. You know?

Odds are, one day, if you get married, you know, the flower girl, actually just instead of a flower girl, it's Burger King. And he throws french French fries I like that right and then the ring bear it's an onion ring ooh yes yeah

Burger King's onion rings are amazing pretty good they're actually really good no no meme no satire here folks no cap

I have not had Burger King in a long time same because it's mostly disgusting besides their onion rings i just have never like well that well here's the thing is like burger king my mind is gross but i do remember enjoying like i remember eating whoppers and enjoying them remember when we went we walked all the way down i think from from the grumps office to burger king to try their cheeto like their cheeto stuffed like mozzarella sticks. Yeah, the Cheeto, the stuffed Cheeto mozzarella sticks.

And I got the Fruit Loops shake. Remember? Did you like it? It was, it was all right. Tasted like Fruit Loops. It wasn't just you and me. It wasn't, it wasn't Jory. Yeah, Jory was with us.

You guys remember Jory from Game Grumps? He's the, he's the real little guy. He's what, like 2'8"? Yeah. Really nice guy. But he's so cute. He's cute real little guy. He's what, like 2'8"? Yeah. Really nice guy. But he's so cute. Cute as a button. I love the phrase, cute as a button.

Cute as a button. Hey, Luke. You okay? Luke just cut it. Can you go get different pants on? Yeah yeah That was a joke But some slime came out

Really? Oh yeah You slimed a little? You wanna see? Yeah Dude that's a lot of slime Ryan that's a lot of slime. Ryan, that's a little... I gotta throw these away. That's full-on shit in your pants, dude. That's not even a little spurt, man.

Like, that's like Luke. That's like this much. I can smell it. God, really? I can smell it a little. much. God really? It's just him farting in the mic and then standing there silently no he farted in the mic. I mean he's standing there silently for a second and was gonna smash his pants off. I saw him walking like this. I thought it was a bit. I did too. Can we not even like start with an awkward, just go straight back into a regular conversation? Sure.

Or if you want to talk about the fact you actually shit your pants, you can. I know. Dude, the inside of my ass was covered in slime. So were your underwear. I know, I know. I saw it was like a splatter that was like this much. It was a lot. It was like that much.

It was like splatter, dot, dot, dot, dot, another splatter there. But it wasn't like thick and brown. No, it was- It was very mucusy. But I did shoot some mucus out of my ass. But we received some MeUndies, which thank God- Thank God we got some MeUndies in the mail today. Because I need a new pair.

I don't know if this episode is particularly sponsored by MeUndies. I thought you were just playing it up for the bit. I had no idea you actually shat yourself. I was playing it up, and then I was walking away. And I was like, it feels a little wet back there. And it was. And then I looked. Did you go bidet and everything?

Yeah. Okay. That was, because Ryan comes back and he's like, dude, there's a little slime. Matt, I can't. Luke, roll the clip. Matt, I can't. Those are smalls. I can't wear these.

They're stretchy. Ryan, those are stretchy enough, dude. We're sponsored by them, but they only send you a one pair of small? Did you fill out the fucking thing? No. There you go. I filled out the questionnaire on what I wanted to be sent every month. So I'm supposed to go home in just sweats and no underwear?

You can't do that one to yourself, buddy. Well, I've been meaning to take these back home because these are a nice pair of sweats. That's original Chinatown Market before they changed the name. I don't know if you've... Have you shat yourself on the show Let's Play podcast at all? That might be the first shat of the show. Come on. And it's on video, too.

That's history. High five, dude. That's fucking, that's fucking history. Like, I'm actually genuinely. You know what did it? Because I sniffed this earlier, which loosened up my asshole. Ryan did some poppers, and then he shat himself. Gays beware. Gays be like. Uh-oh then he shat himself Gays beware

Gays be like Uh oh I shat myself I thought I was just gonna be funny And I was gonna fart in front of all the boys Nope well you farted in front of 100,000 plus people You shat yourself in front of 100,000 plus people I mean I could bring

I could fish the underwear out and show people the splatter For the uncensored Patreon edition. I don't know if that would make us gain subscribers. Because people might think we're lying. I don't think people are going to think we're lying. We're not lying. I saw it. I do have to fart again, but I'm staying strong.

Luke rolled the clip earlier. I'm staying strong. When you said there's some slime, I thought it'd be like a dot. No! You full on shat your pants. Yeah. That was like that. I mean, not a log. Not like a baby filled Yeah. That was like. I mean, not a log.

Not like a baby filled diaper. It was like. It's the next best thing. I'm trying to think. It's like. It's like if there were a few cockroaches in my underwear and I went flying. Like a couple. Why do you have to.

Then it's a little slimy. You could have just said like a splatter of baby food. Instead, you have to find the grossest, most grotesque visual to describe you shitting your pants. It's a good visual. No, it's awful. It gets the point across, I think. Yeah, it does. Without the bug bits.

A little slime. You could just say like a water gun squirt. Man. Is this really what? Yes, it loosens up your asshole. So, are you going for seconds? You can't just pop off and not let a brother pop off as well. There you go.

Pop off. I couldn't think of a better episode to create such a monumentous God, I'm on my feet. Yeah, as far as I know, that is the first time Not talking about these. Yeah, I'm not talking about those monumentous feet. But yeah, that's the first time, I'm pretty sure.

I always thought it would be me. Who did it like, because you have done it during like recording sessions. I've done it during like recording sessions I've done it during work I shat myself while doing ad reads for Luke recently

but because that wasn't filmed and we couldn't obviously put that in the ad reads that was just for Luke was I there? yeah I feel like yeah

you did shit I did I shit my pants but it was for an ad read you remember who the ad read was for? probably one of those fucking corporate motherfuckers

you know hey Matt I know probably one of those fucking corporate motherfuckers, you know? Hey, Matt. I know... I'm going back home for a little bit. You're going on tour. Maybe when we come back, we play some co-op games. Other than...

That aren't... Who's your daddy? I'd love to you know something like sea of thieves portal down for both of those old school runescape together because we could walk around together and shit see we could continue on the mama's boy account and then have a second one that jumps in or we could just start fresh both of us. I'd say start fresh. Okay. Research on stuff of the Old School RuneScape series. I actually recently

I checked in my DMs on Twitter and I had a pretty big Old School RuneScape player hit me up. Oh really? And he said that I'll give you everything.

He has 20,000 followers. He does Old School RuneScape content. He's pretty well known in the community. Okay. And he said that if we start it back up he would

be very gracious to us so i we we should definitely start i mean i i just think like when we're recording the the let's play content whether it be trucks him or other stuff it there's always that dynamic of like i'm'm either super focused on the game and leaving you to kind of... RuneScape doesn't take a lot of focus. It's just point and click action. But if we're both playing, I feel like that just helps a lot more. For sure. Because the

argument before was it allowed you to drum up more conversation for you to think more if I'm playing the game or vice versa. If you're playing the game, I can just say, like, these nuts, and it'll generate a laugh or a topical discussion. Yeah, several laughs. But now I'm thinking that if we choose decent games that we enjoy,

it'll make it fun, funny, and funtastic. All three of those, brother? Funlarious. Also, Second Life. I would. You can fuck up your- Can we co-op Second Life? Yes, we can play together. And dude, you can make your character look so fucked up.

Can we go around together as a couple? We can be naked. Just walk into people's houses. One of us can be really short and- Dude, so like- But how do we visit strangers' houses? I bet you it's like a closed server. You just find them.

You just find them? Yeah, you go to random parts of the world and you find. I found one once and it was like a middle-aged man's house. And he had. Can you fly around the world? Yeah. I went into his house and he had uploaded real photos of himself like in picture frames. And it was like him in a fedora at a bar like 50 year old man and he had a whole porn room with a tv that you could actually go on and search up on like

porn hub and stuff so i'm like damn it's a lot of freaky adults good good for them i know i would love to intervene and create some memories and chaos chaos memories through chaos we're just gonna be bullying like 50 60 year olds. I'm down for it. They fucked our generation over. We're going to be bullying 50, 60 year olds. All at once. They fucked our generation over. Look at house prices.

The boomers fucked us over. We're going to set things a little even. Let's just say that. We're going to even things out. Any Boomer fans watching? You guys are excluded from this. Our parents are Boomers, and they watch. Only one of my parents watch.

Both my parents, as far as I know. My dad says he listens to it when he's at the Gaim. So my mom does watch it. Do you think he uses it to fuel himself? Fuel himself or feel himself? Fuel. Here's our joke.

He gets so enraged. Just runs faster on the treadmill. It's a good hat. Honestly, rage. It's a great motivator. I'm going to start listening to stuff that really pisses me off while I'm at the gym. So I just, if you have something, you know, that's, that's pissing you off, some, some lifts are a good, you know, some, some, some gains are a great way to alleviate that stress. You should, can I get you to record like a, like a 10 minute recording of yourself just

shit talking me and just calling me names and being and being mean to me and calling me degenerate? Come on, mama's boy. So then when I'm working out, I can— Lift up that weight. Yeah. Five more reps, Nancy boy. Fuck you. Just kidding.

Seven more. I'd probably do the trick. We should release like a workout motivation track. But if people actually follow the workouts, they will get ripped and shit. Yeah, if it's us being like 10 reps, go asshole. Just kidding. 20 more. Or like 3, like 2, 1.

Half. Point 25. Point 20. You know, just really piss them off. Get them going. Careful, dude. Careful. I know, I know. Silly, man. Fucked up. Maybe we should end it here. Maybe it's a good place to wrap it up. piss him off get him going careful dude careful I know I know silly man fucked up well maybe we should end it here

maybe it's a good place to wrap it up yeah well thank you guys for participating in this podcast by watching it or listening to it

however you do we do historical episode here it is a historical episode I shit my pants live on the podcast very historical and you

you fine folks out there can watch Matt and I have even more uncensored, wacky conversation in the After Hours segment, which is on Patreon, exclusively on Patreon,

as well as Q&As, behind the scenes. Extended cuts of videos, early videos. Yep. Goofs and gaffs. That sounds interesting. It's five bucks a month To support a channel that

You deem worthy of Five dollars a month Thank you guys, we really It's how we pay our employees Yep I like Jim Anyway guys, thank you so much You know what's funny, in a hundred years

In 21, 22, people are still going to be watching you shit yourself. That's going to make me cry. I didn't mean to get you all emotional. No, it's fine. Thank you, everyone. And see you at the after show if you paid $5. If not, bye. Bye.

Man, it's always a slam dunk when I see Ryan and Matt. Love you guys angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well i absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain it's hard to find people that can help you for a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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