supermegashow - EP 37 - Horsemeat

Episode Date: April 13, 2017

Ryan's back from Mexico, Matt's back from Japan, and we've got an update on our favorite alleyway all-star. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Uh-huh. And this is our Super Mega Podcast, also known as the Super Mega Cast. Technically, we do have Super Mega Productions Incorporated. Yeah. Not a joke, but welcome to the podcast. We smash small businesses for fun. We do. And this is episode 37?

Yeah, 37. Wow, that's, holy shit, that's a lot of episodes. I mean, it's not that much in the long run. It's not 50 episodes, but it's 37. 37 is too many to count on one hand. Wait, yeah it is, I just tried. Let me try two hands. Nope, can't do it. Can't do it?

Not even four hands? Both of our hands put together? All of our hands and feet put together? Almost. You can do it. You can do 37. It'll be 40, yeah. It'll be 40. So in five episodes, four or five episodes from now, we'll be able to be like, hey,

now there's an episode for every single digit in this room. But we're not gonna do that stupid shit because it's really fucking dumb. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we got a fun episode for every single digit in this room. But we're not going to do that stupid shit because it's really fucking dumb. Yeah. Anyway, we got a fun episode for you guys today or tonight. I don't know when you're listening to this. We have some stories to tell from recent times in our life.

Ring-a-ding-ding. It may be Ming. Yeah, that's all I'll say. Later on in the podcast. You didn't say it. I said it. Don't take credit for my shit. I'm sorry. Later in the podcast, we are going to give you some updates on that. And then also, you know, just a lot of fun, fun, fun things here and there. Ryan and I have not seen each other in like. Two weeks.

More than that. Three weeks. Three weeks. More than three weeks. Yeah. What? More than three weeks? No.

You were gone for a week and I was gone for. Two weeks. Yeah. I guess. I guess two and a half weeks, three weeks. Just round it. A sizable time because we usually see each other every day. Every morning. We're up each other's ass every day. Every night we see each other.

We drive to work together in the mornings. We say good morning and then at night time we go good night. Yeah. Then we go night night. Wow, oh my god you guys are so cute no it's because we're fucking roommates and friends and we have a youtube channel together and co-workers it's because it's strictly because we have a youtube channel together we wish each other good night yeah but anyways you were gonna i think uh before we started this podcast you said you were

gonna bring up vacations it's all i've ever wanted vacations gotta got a getaway. Vacations all I ever wanted. Vacations got a getaway. Vacations all I ever need anymore. Baba, baba. Yeah, we both went on vacation to different locations. Wow. Did you plan that one?

Yes. Did you really? No. Wait, what are you talking about? It rhymed. Oh, no. I thought you meant that I planned that we went on vacations at different locations. Did you plan my vacation for me, Matt? Yeah. I didn't check. I made your itinerary. I bought you the ticket.

I dressed you up the morning you had to go to the airport, and I told you how to fly a plane. I mean, how to ride on a plane, not fly a plane. You just told me to go to the airport, and I ended up in Mexico. That was weird. And I went to the airport, and I ended up in Japan. What a weird difference. Yeah.

I finally did it. I went to Japan, the place that I've always wanted to the airport and I ended up in Japan. What a weird difference. Yeah, I finally did it. I went to Japan, the place that I've always wanted to go and I've always thought is super cool. And Ryan, where did you go? I went to Mexico. Went to good old Mexico. I just went to Mexico. That's where I went. That's pretty exciting.

Went to Cabo. It was nice. I got to relax a little. It was fun. Okay. Christian's cool. Yeah, Christian is a stand-up guy and I like to make fun of him a lot. If his parents are listening to this, they'll hate me even more.

But I went to go visit my good friend Christian because he's going to study abroad. If you know what I'm saying, he's going to go study abroad in Japan. Women. So he's there. So he's never been to Japan, and I was like, I want to go. And he said, hey. He went, dude, I. He went, I'm not going to do the voice.

Well, dude. Hey, Matt. It's Christian. Oh, my God. He's going to listen to this. My friend is going to kill me. Anyway, Christian was like, let's go to Japan. And then before I start start classes we can just go

you know explore japan and have fun so that's what we did and i went he sent you a letter you received it and it was pocky lined up in a row and it said on each one they had a single word and it all read out will you come to japan will you come to japan me with you messed it up imagine having like a wedding proposal that's all cute and stuff and you fuck it up astronomically like will marry you me will marry you me like the skywriter writes it backwards or something so it's completely mirrored the skywriter's just writing it the other way or he's like slightly too far away and there's a hill in the way and it's all hazy it's like well what does that say nothing never mind could you imagine if a guy

jumped out of a plane to hold up a thing to propose to his fiance or his girlfriend at the time she's looking through binoculars because like yo he told his friend hey look through these binoculars and you'll see me holding a sign falling from a plane that says will you marry me she's like and he's like okay i'll definitely tell her look through the binoculars at the sky. Yeah, and she'll see it. But then he, like, falls and his parachute doesn't open. And he splatters to the ground and his blood splatters, will you marry me? That's a great idea, Ryan. There's a little frowny face that's sprayed in as well.

How the hell would he set it up so his blood splatters, will you marry me? It was an accident. That's just by chance. That's just sheer luck. It's like that guy that got struck by lightning like so many fucking like over ten times. There's got to be something up with him. Like something with his body is different that attracts fucking lightning to strike him ten times in his life. His name's Rod.

Did you like that one too? Yay! I'm throwing him out here. Dude, that one's good. That's pretty good. I'm throwing him out there big time. But back to vacation, Ryan. Let's start off with you. Why don't you tell me a little bit about Mexico? It Dude, that one's good. That's pretty good. I'm throwing them out there big time. But back to vacation, Ryan. Let's start off with you.

Why don't you tell me a little bit about Mexico? It was nice. It's relaxing. My favorite thing was getting intoxicated, then going out to local taco stands. Getting in-taco-cated. Whoa! That's funny stuff. It is.

Whoa! That's funny stuff. It is. Believe it or not, my favorite taco was not the like chicken taco or the steak taco. Okay. It was the sausage taco. The sausage taco. There's this taco stand.

It's called chorizo, right? Yeah. That stuff, chorizo? It's really fucking good. So good. There's something about it. And like some of the taco stands have their own little sauces out there. Ooh. Ah!

Dude, I am such a sucker for like special sauces that you can only get in one place. Cause usually they're so good. And chorizo is, I like chorizo cause that's what people make breakfast bowls with, with the eggs and the peppers and you know, that stuff. That is delicious. So good. Chorizo. I had an alcoholic beverage.

Um, there was something, I can't remember the name of it but tell me if this makes sense it's made with lemonade and corona and they say it tastes like mother's milk that's that's that's mike's semi-hard lemonade that's mike's firm lemonade that's what i'm talking about yeah yeah that's a good one right i just like the feel of being there. It was nice. I got to ride an ATV in the Mexican desert and then on the beach, which was really fun. That sounds awesome. Yeah. I got bullied into giving a Mexican woman $20.

What? This guy on the street, he was like, hey, hey, man. I was like, hello. Hombre. I'm kidding. Anyways, I was like hey hey man i was like hello hombre i'm kidding anyways i was like hola hombre i was like hola hombre my dude buenos dias senor he was like como se dice i was like what up coconut bro what anyways so there's this guy on the street and they have a lot of people trying to i guess advertise for bars and stuff in the air. So he's like, hey, we got a deal at our bar right now. It's going to be five dollars for two beers and a shot.

And I was like, OK, I'll do that because I was walking around town. I was people watching. I was having a good time. And so we enter this building. And he sits me down in this chair that smells like wet dog and kitty litter. Oh god. It was disgusting. Those are two terrible smells. I know.

You have a dog and I have a cat so I know what both those things smell like. It was disgusting. They smell fucking putrid. I looked around and then like near the end of the room I saw like a pole and like oh shit. Uh oh. Oh no. Uh oh. And so just before I was about to get up the guy comes back. With a gun and like oh shit oh oh no oh and so just before i was about to get up the guy comes back with a gun and he goes pole dance bitch no he comes back and he has this girl like this

stripper i guess and he's like hey he said that he liked you and i was like i was like no no i did i did not say that but of course i can't say that because then i'd seem rude i don't know my mind worked weird i'm like uh i said i said no thank you like like he was like he was like no thank you and so like i was like i'm just leaving i want to i want to uh just uh leave and he's like but you didn't even drink wait a second do you not like the girl oh and i was like i was like what what and he like he kind of got in my way as I was trying to leave. He's like, that's very rude. I think you hurt her feelings. Dude, I hate this shit. I hate it.

And I was like, ah, I'm sorry, I guess. And I'm getting nervous just thinking about it. It was just, I just felt back. You know how I am. I have like, just, I get very anxious easily in social situations. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I don't even get that nervous in social situations, but shit like that,

oh, it makes me fucking like, no. And so he's like, so he's like, why don't you give her $20 so she can have a drink and then you can go on your way? I was like,

and I just gave him $20 and went away. Who am I gonna do? Am I gonna go to the Mexican police that are carrying fucking scars and shotguns and shit and be like, this guy made me give $20

to a stripper. Help me, help me, help me. It's like 20 American dollars? Yeah. Really? Yes. Wait, do they accept American money in Mexico? Yeah. A lot of, yeah. When I was in Jamaica, you could use both. You could use American or Jamaican money.

It was, that's one it freaked me the fuck out. Dude, I hate situations like that. And you know, he's like, it's to buy her a drink. She never saw that money. Because she's part of the plan. Yeah. How old was she?

I don't know, I didn't ask. No, like how old did she look? How old did she look? Was she like middle-aged or like 20? She was like probably 30s, early 30s. Oh, okay. Yeah. Damn, man. I mean, you could have easily landed with that.

I could have. Kind of a shame you didn't, but. If she was a mother, I would have had a better chance. I will raise your child in America. You should have said, like, listen, I'll take that baby over here and I'll let Trump be the president of it. Before that wall is built, I'll get your baby across the border. You should make a documentary about me. Ryan and the Mexican Baby.

Ryan and the Mexican Baby. Ryan and the Mexican Baby. I'd see it. If that came to theaters, I'd see it. Man. Wait, did you bring any pesos back? Do I have any Mexican children on me? No, did you bring any pesos back? No, I spent them all.

But pesos are so fucking cool. They're so colorful and beautiful. I love them. Yeah. Green, pink, orange, blue. Okay, same with the end so like I'm just gonna say it American money is the most

fucking boring money on the planet we've discussed this before it sucks you and I have either discussed it on the channel or discussed it privately but we have talked about this before yeah well I will say for a second time if I've said this before American money is so boring it looks so old and it's just a bunch of old farts on it and

they're just like like all these like intricate they'll have bad haircuts yeah they're not it's not even their hair get a fade man is did ben i franklin doesn't even really have hair was that that had to be his hair he didn't wear a wig that made him look bald is he wearing a wig on the on the hundred100 bill? No, he'd be covering his big old bald spot. No, you know those wigs they wore? The white ones? The powdered ones?

I think they only wore those during ceremonies and shit. Like how judges wear... That's so stupid how judges wear those wigs still. No, no. Some of them do. Some of them do? Yeah, so like... Think about Goofy there. No, they don't.

Yeah, they do. There's no fucking way judges still wear that shit you're saying all judges but not most judges don't wear that shit i'm talking about like snl cast members dressed as judges yes no no no like the supreme court i think wears those put a pull up a picture my phone's in the other room charging my phone's in the other room too fuck now there's just gonna be a bunch of comments to a question we already looked at they're gonna be like uh Matt's completely wrong which maybe I am.

I don't know. Matt stop hating on him. I'm sorry. I love you guys. I love you. But sorry we went off on that tangent. What even got me on that

tangent? Money. The people on the money. How amazing pesos and yen are. I think that the coolest money I've ever seen is the Canadian dollars.

They smell like. They smell like maple syrup. Yeah. That's so cool. And they're all colorful and plasticky and have clear spots But yen's pretty cool It's really easy to spend a lot of money And not realize it because

Pesos have clear spots It's so cool Like With yen the first paper money Is equivalent to like $10 So $5 and $1, they're coins. And being an American, change feels so kind of not worthless, but you only use change for like small things.

But in Japan, it's like, oh, I have a handful of coins. It doesn't feel like that's a lot of money, but it actually is because you can have $9, $8, $9 in change in your hand. It's just a couple of coins. So you feel like you can buy all this stuff and then realize like, oh wait, that was actually $9. And I thought that was just a handful of change. So yeah, but it's pretty easy to convert.

Yen, all you got to do is pretty much move the decimal place to over. So something 1,000 yen is going to be like 982. It's going to be pretty similar. With pesos, I just did like 20 pesos to a dollar. Oh, okay. 20 pesos to a dollar. But it's more of like 18 or something like that dollars, but I just rounded it to 20. Yeah, it's like 90

something yen to a dollar. So, it's super, super easy to calculate stuff. It just takes like a day to kind of get used to. Yeah, same. You know, I couldn't get used because in Japan, they drive on the left which means they also walk on the left. So so they walk on the opposite side of the sidewalk which i could not get used to i kept like i'd walk out of a storm like shit which oh fuck and i'd have to get on the left and then sometimes people just obviously like every society break

the rules and walk on the wrong side so i'd walk on the wrong side too and then it's just very confusing did you did uh did all of them look surprised when they saw a white boy? A tall white boy? Yeah. What is that? There were the only people. Did they start poking you with sticks and shit? Yeah, they started poking me with sticks.

They started like stretching your cheeks and like. Touching my hands. Like opening your mouth and inspecting your teeth. Wow. That did happen to a degree and it was only with little old ladies. Not the teeth inspecting and the stick poking. You had an old lady just crawl up your back like a monkey and just, woo! I did see monkeys, and I'll talk about that in a minute.

Did you just connect old Asian ladies to monkeys? No, because you said they crawl up like monkeys, and I said, I did see... They do crawl like monkeys. They don't crawl like monkeys. What if I showed you a video of just every Asian woman in the shot that was just crawling like monkeys down the street? Like Tarzan swinging from

chandeliers and shit. Do they have chandeliers in Japan? I didn't see any chandeliers, but that's not strictly numeric. We don't have chandeliers in Japan. There's one thing they don't have. The Japanese don't have chandeliers, but that's not a strictly merit. We don't have chandeliers in Japan. There's one thing they don't have. The Japanese don't have chandeliers. They just don't get them. They just don't understand them. Angie has

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you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Yeah, but old ladies would always look at me and be like, oh, takai, which means tall. And that happened all the time. And then a guy that worked at 7-Eleven was like, oh, takai. And I was like, yeah. Going back to what the Japanese don't have, there's two things. They don't have trash cans. That's, yes.

But they don't have trash cans out in public. They don't use trash cans like ever What? Like you can't find trash cans anywhere Where do you throw away your trash? You don't you keep it with you and throw it away when you get home Therefore there is no trash on the ground anywhere in the city The subways, city

You can't find trash on the ground It's like not there If you took away trash cans Americans would just start throwing their trash on the ground Exactly but cause it's like The whole Japanese society is based on on respect for each other and respect for society and nature. That's not a thing you do. I'd like to have the freedom to disrespect my environment. Thank you.

The Japanese do not have freedom. When I went there, I was shocked. There's no freedom there. They don't have freedom. They don't? No. freedom when i went there i was shocked there's no freedom there they don't have freedom they don't no the other thing japanese don't have is they or i mean they have it but it's very rare good sense of humor yeah a set of good looks like in public bathrooms there's nothing to dry your hands with there's no paper towels which i get is like yeah cutting the waist down but most bathrooms

wouldn't have hand dryers either i'd'd wash my hands, and there'd be nothing to dry my hands on. And it, especially, because it was really cold when I was there, I went into a bathroom that was half outside, it was kind of like an outdoors bathroom, and I got my hands all wet, and then it was freezing cold outside, and I had nothing to dry them on, so it sucked. But, everyone's asshole

was pretty clean, as you mentioned. Oh my god, yes, like, because the toilets, they spray your ass with hot water. Boudoir. It is heavenly. What's it called? A bidet? Yeah. The French have it. Yeah, Europe has it, I think. No, just the French. Oh, just the French?

The French have everything. Someone's gonna be like, Ryan, it's not just the French. No, actually, here's a list of countries that use it. Dude, bidets, I don't know why we don't have that in America. Like, holy shit. Because America's free. We have the freedom to have a clean ass or not.

You can buy a bidet if you want to. We're the only country that gives you the freedom to have a really dirty ass. Seriously, I realize that. I feel like countries that don't have bidets, I never thought of it until I went to a country with a bidet. I feel like countries that don't have that. Everyone's walking around with a shitty asshole. Yeah, they're they're they're living large. You know, toilet paper, toilet paper doesn't living free.

Toilet paper does not. It's not get all that shit. But when you wipe and then you spray with hot water, that shit squeaky clean. Does it feel good? Feels amazing. Did it ever hit the little peanut up there? No comment. Whoa. No, it did. Water massage therapy it is it is wonderful though it's just hot water on your ass another

thing about mexico the sex trade there is like fucking like it's it is fucking it's yes but it's so blatant it's in your face for instance almost every massage parlor in like cabo or whatever there's like women standing out and there's this one time this old white man was walking by and they were like do you want a massage he's like no they're giving me a better deal at the other place and they're like how much they offer you and he's like so we haggled for a happy ending nice with some massage enthusiasts good for him dude and then um oh there's something else i forgot wait but it's but it's super just blatant and in your face like vega compared to vegas vegas it's not legal though yeah but but they still like kind of throw it in your face yeah is it is it kind of the same mexico

uh just with real people they don't have to put it on cards and billboards it's just oh it's just you want sex here's the sex here's some sex do you want the sex come here and find out i went you want sex i'll go over and find out i went to a uh a sento which is a japanese it's like a public bathhouse where people go to um get clean and then like relax in hot tubs uh which it's like it's like a big steamy room with a bunch of different types of hot tubs did you show off your dr doolittle yeah no so my buddy christian and i we went to one and we get there and we got our bathing suits and we're in the locker room and this naked japanese guy walks in and i look i peek into the room like where all the baths are and i just look and the first thing i see is a penis and i was like oh christian we have to be naked to go in

there this is not a bathing suit thing. And I got out my phone. Turns out, those are all fully nude. Like, you don't wear bathing suits in these things. It's just a bunch of naked guys. So Christian could not stop laughing. We got naked. Listen, so we get naked.

And it's like, of course, it's a little uncomfortable. Because, you know, I've known Christian like half my life. But we've never been naked around each other. Even though we were roommates for a year we've never been fully nude like that so all of a sudden we're standing there fully naked and there's naked Japanese men walking in like dripping wet and Christian just starts laughing

and I'm like Christian stop laughing and so he like pulls it together and then we walk into the room that is right before the sliding doors that go into the bathroom. And he starts laughing again while someone's walking by. And I'm like, Christian, stop.

Stop. Because the bathhouses are also famous for... Killing people if they laugh. The Yakuza. The Japanese mafia. Jesus Christ. And I'm like, Christian, you do that in here, dude? If you laugh at a Yakuza dick, they're going to kill you. Yeah.

If you laugh at a Yakuza member's penis gonna kill you yeah if you laugh at a yakuza member's penis they will fucking murder you dude they're crazy powerful it's the biggest organized crime syndicate in the world biggest mafia in the world and they like run japanese politics and businesses and everything like they they dominate it they also run the porn industry which is japan's biggest export but uh they have tattoos yeah they all got yakuza tattoos got those crazy i didn't see anyone with tattoos while i was there so i didn't see any yakuza people you're not it wouldn't be i i well because it's isn't it kind of looked down upon super looked down like if i'd have to cover my tattoos yeah you like to go to public bathhouse you'd probably have to wrap it up yeah

and i just have to be like yeah an injury huh well i think i think they i think if they see that they know it's like oh well at least he's trying to cover it up so yeah. And I just have to be like, yeah, an injury. Well, I think, I think they, I think if they see that they know it's like, Oh, well at least he's trying to cover it up. So I saw a dude actually in, I saw a white guy with a tattoo in the, uh, bath house, but the bath house was me,

my buddy Christian and probably 15 or 20 naked Japanese men over the age of 50. And that was it. And, uh, it was wonderful because it was the, it was just a bunch of big hot tubs so i love hot tubs and they had an electric one where the water shocks you while you're in it which i got in what yeah the water yeah there's like electricity they have metal bars in the water that yeah the whole

time you're in it it's shocking you and it's it's not like a bad shock but i got in and i was like oh what the fuck this is weird because you you're getting shocked yeah not to the point where it hurts but you can still feel it and if you get close to the walls because there's metal in them to conduct the electricity your muscles start to like contract and do this and everything and uh it kind of hurts if you get close enough and then after i got out my hands were tingling i mean there was a hot tub for it was like brown water it was medicine water that's vitamins and everything. Yeah. And they had a cold one and ones

with waterfalls. I ended up going three times total because it was so. The bat house? Yeah. Because it's so nice. Did you feel like the big man on campus? Nope. Ryan, I have a small fucking penis. Yeah, that is true. I did see one. Did you see a big honker there? Uh, no. No big honkers? No big honkers.

I did see a Japanese man whose penis was so. You saw a Japanese honkers i did see a japanese man uh whose penis you saw a japanese man i did see a japanese man his penis was so small i could not see it through his bush not that i was you know checking out these japanese men's penis it was just an observation well that would have had to require a double take you didn't make that observation on the first glance yeah and also not to mention uh he would well I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He was, like, 70 years old. 60 or 70, so. You know, he doesn't really need it anymore. I'm sure it wasn't always that small, but,

there you go. How old are you when you stop becoming, like, super sexually active? Probably 40. What? I don't know. Well, like, you always, you're a human. I thought 40 is, like, when you go through your big horny stage. For women, because they hit menopause. Not 40, like, 50 they'll hit menopause or something. And then, like, men, when they're that age, they're, like, you always have, you're a human. I thought 40 is, like, when you go through your big horny stage. For women. Because they hit menopause. Not at 40.

Like, 50 they'll hit menopause or something. And then, like, men, when they're that age, they're like, oh, I gotta fuck all these women before I can. Are they? Oh, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. Right?

Right, men? Well, men are obviously. No, I don't know. I remember when I was a kid. I just picture being 40 and just being like, um, oh, my penis isn't gonna work anymore after this i need to i need to fuck any man woman and yeah ryan i remember i had a uh sex ed book as a kid that uh congratulations it taught me about the birds and the bees and i just remember there was a there was like a q a section and it was like do old people have sex yeah like yes old people enjoy

having sex just as much as young people and do it regularly. So apparently that's always stuck with me. So I've always been like, yeah, I guess old people fuck. They have to. Yeah, I guess they do. It's something like you don't really think about. But old people fuck. They'll still get mad at each other.

So if you're listening to this and you're maybe you're in your 20s or 30s and your parents are getting elderly. They still probably fuck. Just think about that. Just think about that one. Think about your parents having sex. I'm sure that right now within a five-mile vicinity of where we're recording this podcast, there's at least one old couple having sex. Yes, 100%.

Do you know how dense it is? You could probably say there's... In a one-mile radius. Yeah. It's so dense where we live. You know probably say there's... In a one mile radius. Yeah. It's so dense where we live. You know there's gotta be at least one old... There's a lot of old people in Glendale. Dude, Japan. Just so many old people. Just old people everywhere. So many older people.

So many old people everywhere. Just old people. So many old people. You can't... There's one over here. There's one over there. So many old people you can't even count them. Come to Japan! Too many old people, you can't even count them. Come to Japan. Too many old people. Let's go. Let's have this trip.

Come on. There's an old person right there. There's an old person eating ramen. There's an old person dead. Holy shit. Someone help that person. Anyways, back to the old people. I saw two homeless people the whole time I was there in Tokyo, like the biggest city in the world.

Two homeless people. We have so many home... No many homeless people. No homeless people. No homosexuals. Just... No many homeless people. No homeless people. No homosexuals. Just a bunch of old people. That's not true. I did see some homosexuals.

I will say that. Were they whipped in the streets? No, that's fine in Japan. Is it? They weren't whipped in the streets. I don't know how other... It's not some third world country. I don't know how other countries deal with homosexuality.

Well, Japan's not one of those like... Oh, man. Yeah, but at nighttime, like on Friday night, the subways are just... deal with homosexuality. Oh, man. Yeah, but at nighttime, like on Friday night, the subways are just... Is it super open and okay in Japan? Not like America, but I don't think it's looked down upon.

Obviously, Japan is not as caught up progressively when it comes to stuff like sexuality and stuff as America would be. Oh, because we're so caught up, Matt. You knew that's going to gonna happen but they're not um you know it's not like super shameful i don't think i didn't actually think they they would whip them in the streets no i totally know i'm like you know maybe jamaica they might do that yes or the dominican republic or conga Yes. Or the Dominican Republic or Congo. Is that a country? Is Congo a country? Congo is a country.

I've heard of the Congo. That's a country, right? The Republic of Congo. Oh, yeah, sure. I just always heard of like the Congo as in like a certain area. I didn't know it was. I don't know. Okay.

Nigeria. They'd whip them in the streets probably. Would they? Matt, you mean fucking racist? No, I'm just... Never mind. But, um... Yeah, I had a good time. I saw a lot of old people. To wrap that up. So many old people.

So many old people. Oh, that's unfortunate. See a lot of old people in Mexico? Uh... A lot of old women making little crafts, trying to sell them. Oh my God, I had a breakfast. It was so good.

It was so good. I don't care if anything I say is not inherently a Mexican dish. I don't give a shit. I'm talking about the food I ate on vacation. It was... Fuck. What are those? Dude, I had fuck too.

There's a... I'm trying to think it's a brunch food it's a type of brunch food what is it it's on an English muffin they have a special yeah I had a lobster eggs benedict oh my god it was so fucking good that sounds amazing that was like that in the

sausage taco was my favorite fucking thing lobster eggs benedict. That's making me... I'm about to make some hollandaise sauce in my pants. They had... I had French toast with some nice bananas on top. And the French toast was stuffed with cream cheese. Dude, if we're talking about breakfast foods, I had Japanese pancakes.

I'm so jealous of those fucking fluffy pancakes. They're like two inches thick. They're souffle Japanese premium pancakes I went to a cafe to get where it's these three small pancakes that are like an inch, two inches thick. And they're so fluffy and they melt in your mouth the second it goes in your mouth. It just kind of dissolves because it's so fluffy. Best pancakes I've ever had. There's a place that made guac in front of us. They have that here in the U.S.

Table side guac. But it's like a legitimate kind of –'s a legitimate mexican restaurant in mexico and it was really cool and like that's awesome it just it was really nice but every after every meal i i had to go lay down and sleep for hours because it's just so it's heavy i mean think about it every time you eat mexican what do you feel like afterwards oh yeah it's that yeah every time every time i ate but it's worth it because it's so good i love mexican food i had the best ramen of my life in japan and that's the thing i have good ramen dude i don't even i'm not even there's a lot of good ramen in uh glendale well there's one good place that i really like well la just has a lot of good ramen but oh my god here's the thing you're gonna you're gonna

criticize me whatever probably him i'm not the biggest fan of ramen i like ramen but oh my god here's the thing you're gonna you're gonna criticize me whatever probably him i'm not the biggest fan of ramen i like ramen but i'm not often that in the mood for it but in japan it was so what you do is they have machines you go up to and you put the exact you put some yen coins in and you select what ramen you want and it gives you a little ticket and you give that to the person at the counter and when you sit down you've already paid and everything and they bring out the ramen and it's so fucking good dude I took pictures of every ramen I ate cause it looked so delicious

and I was like I need to remember this there's this place down down the way in Glendale and I we need to go cause I'm craving it actually I wish it was open till midnight cause then we could go after I'm done editing this podcast yippee yay hello and it's essentially just

make your own ramen like it's like you know how picky I am yeah it's just like you just tell them what you want in it and like you can exclude whatever you want you can add in whatever you want it's really good and the broth is like super uh it's like thick and good it's not like that I don't like ramen where it's watery broth

I like that uh where it where it's light brown broth. Yep. You know what I'm saying? I totally know what you're saying. That's how it was in Japan. God, that place is good. I'm not a fan of bamboo in ramen or just food in particular. I don't like bamboo.

Me neither. Well, I don't like a lot of things. I don't like ginger. Oh, I love ginger. Oh, holy shit. On that topic of ginger, it reminded me I went to some amazing sushi restaurants. I only went to rotating bars. I didn't go to an actual high-end sushi restaurant, which I probably should have.

You should have. But I went to a rotating sushi bar couple where they put wasabi on almost all of it. You don't put wasabi on. They put wasabi on. Really? And it's real wasabi because what we have in America is mainly, usually it's horseradish that's colored green. That's what most wasabi is. But in Japan.

It's got to be a little more than just horseradish. Yeah, yeah, of course. But in Japan, it's full 100% wasabi. And you know the difference. It's got to be good, though. Have you ever had real wasabi? I don't think so. Oh, dude.

The second it touches your tongue, It just clears your whole sinuses And your eyes start watering It's like a brain freeze You get kind of like a brain freeze sensation Because sometimes I'd get something with a shit ton of wasabi And it would hit my tongue and I would chew And it would spread throughout my mouth And I would get this shooting pain all throughout my head

My eyes would just Tears actually coming down my face sometimes Just from one sushi It's a rush though it's nice It felt amazing i don't know why it feels good but it just i was like that was so good and i everything i got had wasabi on it and i really liked it because i didn't like wasabi really before i went to japan i'm kind of sad i don't have a i haven't found a place in la where i've been like that's the sushi place I'm going to for sushi every time. Besides Kuluwa, probably. Yeah, Kula.

Kula, whatever. Kuluwa. Kuluwa. The liquor. Yeah. Kula. Kula. It's in Little Tokyo.

I mean, it's all right, but like... Oh, I love it. It's great. I still feel like I don't have that place where it's like, that's where I want to go every fucking time. Kula's that place for me. Yeah. I love Kula.

It's probably because I've only been there once since the renovation, but sometimes it was hit and miss. Sometimes because before the renovation, I don't know. I went with Chris and Ding Dong and Julian, and we ate, we just split it four ways, and Ding Dong

and Julian, they can both put down a lot of food, which is ironic because Ding Dong's pretty thin. Whoa, you can't release his personal info? I'm sorry, I can't release information. But we didn't realize how much sushi we were eating and it came out to be really expensive between the four of us. We fucked up. Want to go to Kula this weekend?

Yes. Let's go to Kula this weekend. Let's get some ramen this weekend. Someone, they're going to listen to this podcast and be like, oh, let's go to Kula this weekend. See if we can see Matt and Ryan. Oh, fuck. You won't, because we'll pick a weird time. Or we'll pick a normal time.

Who knows? Or we just won't go to Kula at all. So fuck you, and fuck your fucking computer, and fuck your parents. Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck them. Alexa!

Hey, Alexa! Yeah, fuck you! Alexa, order toilet paper! Hey Alexa, bang their dad! Alexa, play 311! Alexa, play the Lion King soundtrack, track 3! And then play 311. And then play Beastie Boys!

Play the whole Beastie Boys fuckin', what's it called, catalog! Alexa, sell my private internet history. Alexa, off. People that don't know what Alexa is, they're just like, what the fuck are they talking about? Who are they talking to? They're talking to me, my name's Alexa. Some girl named Alexa who has no idea about the Amazon Alexa products. That's why I'm glad that no products like i get alexa that's gonna be a product name but there's not gonna be a famous product called

ryan like you know there's not gonna be that product matthew so so i feel pretty safe and like i could never picture someone hey ryan order me a coke like it just doesn't say no one's gonna fucking do that ryan's the only thing the only business business I've seen of Ryan's is Ryan's buffet in South Carolina. What happened to Ryan's buffet? It sucked and it closed. It's a chain, you know, it's like around the country.

Well, it sucked in South Carolina. I never see them. I haven't seen one in like five years. I don't, they just didn't get the customers they used to get. It was my favorite restaurant. I used to love Shoney's.

Shoney's was a good breakfast buffet. I never have never been to Shoney's. I don't think. Speaking of Asian food, you know what I'm craving? I won't be able to have probably for a year, maybe. What? It's been almost a year or more since I've had it.

Mama Kim's. Oh, yeah. I miss Mama Kim's. That's a restaurant that's in Charleston, South Carolina. That's downtown Charleston. It's a Korean restaurant. Good old King Street restaurant. It's so goddamn good. It's like a bowl of rice with steak or chicken or shrimp or whatever.

And then there's this white sauce. Which they don't do anywhere else. I think the south. That's like a southern Japanese thing. Really? Yeah. That's what my sister said. I love going to Miyabi's and getting the white sauce. Oh my god. It's saying no vegetables and they give you super extra rice. Yum. I love the vegetables. I love it all. Fuck you. Okay, yeah.

Fuck me for my preferences in Japanese cuisine. If you think differently than me, then you are my enemy. Yeah, but overall the food in Japan was unbelievable. I figured out how I'm gonna get through a long flight and finally come with

you to Japan. How? I'm going to get through a long flight and finally come with you to Japan. How? I'm going to stay up 24 hours beforehand, and then once I get on the plane I'm going to sleep for probably 9 to 10 hours. Maybe wake up every now and then, but I'm going to sleep hard. Sleeping on planes is hard. And then I'll only have to, uh, not for me. Dude, I can, if I'm

tired, I can, but on the way to Mexico, I fell asleep like, I remember this moment kind the way to Mexico, I fell asleep. Like I, I remember this moment kind of, I just remember the last thing. Well, okay. The last thing I remember was closing my eyes and hearing the plane kind of

build up to take off. And then, and then I woke up when we were landing, like taxiing in. I was like, ah, yeah. So nice.

I took air China, which was total of 13 hour flight. How was China by the way? Yeah. I'll talk about China. Um, which was total a 13-hour flight. How was China, by the way? Yeah, I'll talk about China. Well, first I'll talk about Air China because it took me to China. The first-class seats on planes that go over the Pacific, because they're huge planes. They're massive planes.

I've never been on a plane like one that goes around the world. Did you fly first class? No, it's expensive as hell. I always do economy. Even if I had a lot of money, I'd still probably do economy just because I don't really care. But first class, you could lay down and stuff. What? It was crazy. But I

flew to China. The flight, honestly, overnight was not that bad. It went by way faster than I thought. I did sleep a lot of it, but went to China, went to Beijing. It was like early morning when i got there when the sun rose and i got a lot of cool videos of the sun rising in china and uh it's cool if you look at the window of the plane beijing is very oh it looks very uh all the buildings are the same

it looks like sad yeah it was kind of sad looking it's well it's very socialist looking if you take uh what it looks like is they would take one building design and then make eight of them and put them all next to each other and then take another building design make eight of them and put them all next to each other so there was never just one building there were multiple of the same building always next to each other it looked super communist it was really cool though and then the water okay everyone's like i'm about to a water review because I don't like LA water. And we talk about South Carolina water and comparing it.

I can say this. Japan had the best water I've ever had because I think Japan. Okay. Well, let's, did you look up facts about Japanese water? I read that Japan has the cleanest water in the world. I don't know how true that is, but I did read that they have the cleanest water in the world. Was that from like Asians are slash Asia's great. And you you nobody can say otherwise maybe i don't know i'm sure they have the cleanest water in the world imagine south carolina water because you know south carolina is

very clean but it has a kind of earthy taste yeah imagine simply south carolina's water how good that is cut out any earthiness and that's just what it tastes like it was so crisp and clean and smooth kind of like fiji water yeah it like just picture the best bottle water that's kind of what the tap water in japan tasted like the water that came out of the faucets in mexico was soft water it's i know what you mean by that it's kind of like leaves a bit of a soapy residue it feels like afterwards like your hands they don't get fully kind of... It's not just wet. There's another kind of stickiness to the water.

Yeah, another texture in there. It's not like gross, like, oh, God, get it off of me. It's just, it feels different. That's what I feel. I don't think you feel it, but that's how I feel about L.A. water. I feel like it has a texture to it. Like, almost a kind of waxy, chalky texture. Do you know what i'm talking about

with la water uh not specifically with la water but now i think since i've had a gross exaggeration being mexican water that i i'm understanding what it might be like for you yeah okay and by the way la water is not the worst on the list chinese water was the worst in beijing you tried chinese faucet water yeah i went up to a water fountain it was just it was warm and it was the worst in Beijing. You tried Chinese faucet water? Yeah, I went up to a water fountain. It was just, it was warm. And it was the most chemically tasting. I mean, it did not help the fact that it was warm. As the water was coming out, was there a voice recording in Chinese

that said you will not complain as you're drinking it? I was probably saying this water is not for drinking. This is for like something else. And I was like, oh, okay. It was gross. It was chalky. Wash your dirty chalky lips. Oh,

you know what people do in China? I noticed. What? That sounded like I'm about to be like, oh, China, you know what? You know what those Chinese do?

Oh God. Just something I noticed is people in China tend to, and now of course, I'm not talking about all Chinese, just what I noticed. You gotta put that disclaimer there, Matt. People are gonna be like,

you're racist. They do this they go and then spit they walk up to trash cans and do it in trash cans all the time some of them have their own little spit cups yep and then someone subways and shit yep so I heard that non-stop being in China I was in China for a

total of probably seven hours and then not all at once that's between the two why did I do that I was in China for a total of seven hours. Ugh. I mean, it wasn't... I mean, to be fair, I did not leave the airport. But from what I experienced, going through customs in China sucked. In fact, going through customs in China, they have a big sign...

Judging a country by just staying in its airport. Imagine if someone judged the United States by just like, I spent three hours in a united states airport and this is what i have to say yeah i know it sounds so dumb but i think it's like experience it's just a different culture um going through customs they have the sign that says what you're not allowed to have and you know in america they have like you know it's like guns lighters big batteries stuff like that in china on the sign it said no crystal balls uh no seriously it said no crystal balls no fruit knives no yogurt and then like guns and stuff it's like it's just a

random slot machine decision 100 like each no like they're little flipper cards and like on that on that sign they like pull a lever and then it just a symbol of some random object there was a not today there was a russian guy behind me with it with his daughter and they were speaking russian and i saw them even in russian pointing at the crystal ball and laughing like a crystal ball like because it's so weird but uh i mean i can't judge china too much just because i was only in the airport um but you know it was it wasn't bad i'd like to go back and visit China because I think it would be a cool experience I just noticed that the water

didn't taste too good and people spit loudly and also a guy farted really loud while he was having a conversation with people he didn't mind it was like

and no one they carried on like he didn't even do it I don't know if that's a thing but might be a Japanese thing yeah it might be one of those things those Japs do, you know what I'm saying?

Whoa, you can't say that, dude. What? You can't say that. Japs? Did you, uh... So, uh, this is a question I've been meaning to ask you ever since we've been friends. Have you ever eaten horse? Make me tell everyone that I ate horse.

Yeah, I ate some horse. I did. I ate some horse in Japan. How was it? I'm interested. Are people going to be mad about that? Would people be like... You can order in Japan, you can eat horse. I did. I ate some horse in Japan. How was it? Are people going to be mad about that? Would people be like, You can order in Japan.

You can eat horse. Yeah. Whatever. The horse wasn't killed for me. Oh, yeah, it was. There was horse sushi that went by on the conveyor belt. And my buddy Christian and I looked at each other and we were like, Okay, when am I going to get to try horse again?

So it was horse over rice. So I had raw horse. And it tasted just kind of like, I guess like roast beef is the closest I could say what horse tastes like. And then the main course came and you had shark fin soup. I forgot that's a thing. Shark fin soup. Yeah.

Have you, have you had shark fin soup? No, I don't think I want to. Yeah, that sounds. Have you, have you seen like the rooftops, the bunch of like just a bunch of shark fins because they just kill and pretty much are destroying... That's not Japan, is it? Is that Japan? I think that's China. Oh. I think, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, on my flight

to China and from China, they give you I got served two meals for free and they were good, but for breakfast there's this rice stuff. I think it's called congee or something. That's what my girlfriend said. There's this rice stuff. It's like rice porridge, or something that's what my girlfriend said there's this rice stuff it's like rice porridge but you know what you put in it?

you put a century egg one of those preserved duck eggs so I got one in a little plastic package did you try it? I did yeah I ate half of it there was a little Chinese woman sitting next to me and she didn't speak any English but she was she was pointing like telling me to put it in so I was like okay Like brown juices are leaking out I dropped it in

Did it smell? Oh yeah I dig into it, it's brown, it's goopy The yolk is like dark yellow Can I say pass? Because I don't want anything I don't want to eat No I mean it was a good meal minus that

And I ate it, I took a couple of bites It wasn't terrible to be honest But it's not something I would necessarily Jump for If I saw it again I'm not going to be like You know what I think I'll have that I tried it, it wasn't too good And the little Chinese woman next to me

She kept trying to make conversation with me But she spoke zero English And I spoke pretty much zero Chinese And she's like looking at me And she's like What at me and she's like what does she do? She's pointing out the window. She kept pointing out the window at things. And I'm like that's great. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And in one part she's trying to explain something to me and she's speaking Chinese to me and I'm like sorry I don't speak Chinese. So she pulled out an envelope and she started writing down. She was writing in English and she wrote clean no. Like the word clean and like the word clean i'm in the word no and i was like oh uh like the water because we were right over the ocean so i'm like

oh the water's not clean she's like no no no like that's not what i was trying to say and when she had this moment of like oh she rewrites it and she wrote clean with an m so it's a clean no i was like i have i'm clean no. She kept writing it over and over and pointing to it. She was calling you dirty. She said you're not clean. She started doing hand gestures. She made a fish, and then she did a dying gesture.

I finally figured out what she was trying to tell me was the area we're flying over, the water isn't clean, so the fish have been dying. That's what she was trying to tell me. It took so long to figure out she was really sweet though what was her name uh something Lynn I did really I saw

her writing on her customs paper it was um I don't know something Lynn I don't remember Marty Lynn Marty Lynn Jr was this old Asian woman's name Yeah Martin Her name was Martin

Martin Lynn Jr. She went Ni hao I'm Martin Hello I am Martin She was sweet though I may have the body of an old Chinese woman Did you hate Japan

As much as I hated the experience That is the latest Ming update. We need music. We need to get someone to make us a tiny little jingle. So whenever it's time for the Ming update. Are you doing that Groundhog meme thing? What? No, no.

I was doing a late night news. We need something like that. And then you just go. It like fades out day three we need we well guys we need to make a we need a mingle let's get chris or someone to make us a mingle for the mingle report a mingle a jingle

for the mingle report a little mingle a mingle jingle is a mingle so anyway ryan has some news about i'll open it up and i'll throw it to you so where we last left off a couple podcasts ago, Ming was gone. We saw her with the security guard. She was screaming, fuck a cop.

He was calling for backup or something. He has walkie talkie. Wasn't looking good. And then Ming disappeared a week, days. She was gone. She was gone for a while. Yeah. So we assumed, okay, she got arrested.

She's gone for good. If she was gone for four or five months last time in jail or whatever, she's gone for She was gone for a while. Yeah, so we assumed, okay, she got arrested. She's gone for good. If she was gone for four or five months last time in jail or whatever, she's gone for good this time. And then, lo and behold, while I'm in Japan, I get a Snapchat from Ryan, and it's from the roof of our apartment, and it's like, hey, look who it is. And he zoomed in, and it's Ming.

And she's dancing around and waving her arms and screaming and throwing trash. So I'm like, oh my god, she's back. Later that night, Ryan sends me a Snapchat where he's out in the alleyway and Ming is like 10 feet away and then the snapchat Roughly ends with Ming just turning around Towards Ryan and the caption was like Last thing I got to film before

She came over and talked to me and you still You've been holding it off for this podcast you Haven't told me what went down between you And Ming because you guys had A conversation that is right She uh she Uh okay so I'm excited I wish I had popcorn you and Ming. No. Because you guys had a conversation. That is right. She, uh, she... Ugh, okay, so... Oh, I'm excited. I wish I had popcorn. Right after

that Snapchat ended, because it ended with her turning around and taking a step towards me. And your phone kind of like... Yeah, my phone dipped down, because I was like, oh, shit. And so, she came over, and then she just plopped down beside me and was like, hey! Hey, man! I was like, like hey got a cigarette

i'm like no wait no i'm sorry because ah sometimes you can't tell what she's saying yeah i couldn't tell what she sometimes i could sometimes we've talked to her before yeah but it's always been like hey you got a lighter it's like no but like she'll always end it with like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, no. No, I don't. This seems like it's from some wacky sketch. I feel like she's fucking, it's almost like she's self-aware. She'll say a bunch of gibberish.

She'll be like, hey, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so some people would walk by because I was sitting in silence looking at my phone because I was like, I can't make a conversation with her. This isn't. So these people walk by and she looks at him. She's like, oh, what are you looking at? And I'm like next to him. And I'm like, oh, really?

Yeah. I'm like, stop. And then she throws her arms up in the air, falls back. Her tummy shows and everything. And she starts throws her arms up in the air, falls back. Her tummy shows and everything. And she starts scratching her tummy. Then she sits back up. And she goes, man, do you skateboard? And I was like.

And you told her yes, right? I said, I told her I haven't skateboarded since like middle school. And I asked her, do you skateboard? She was like, no. A hacky sack though I was like that's really cool Ming okay but I legitimately was like oh okay she's like yeah

y'all better be and then and then she'd pause and then I'd be like what you're supposed to finish you're supposed to finish you know you know that you know that where it's're supposed to finish you know you know that you know that where it's like hey you don't even know a day and and then she like gestured towards me and her eyes would like she threw it to you yeah she threw it to me i'd be like i've i told

her i'd legitimately was like i have no fucking clue what that is i said that verbatim she was like man how do you not then she paused and she kind of her eyes squinted at me and then she just went what you gonna cry i was like i was like no she's like your mom's gonna cry what yeah i don't know what and i was like what what do? But I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. She goes, come on. What is that? What is that? And she was like pointing at my eye. What is she talking about?

I don't know. And then I'm like, I don't know. And then I just stared at her. Then it became really silent. And the eye contact lasted probably 10 seconds. And I was scared at this point that she was going to like bite my face off or something. Were you going to cry, Ryan? No.

Was your mama going to cry? I was mostly just kind of like, I want this to end. Please go away. I was mad because she was in my bubble. She was hardcore in my bubble. Because she has her own part of the alleyway and we have ours. I mean, when she kind of, she comes in very unwanted. We don't encroach on her space unless.

Because I don't want it. I don't want this to happen. Unless she's been taken away and we get to kind of investigate. We under the police tape no joke yeah check it out but um and then she was she started doing the singing stuff again it sounds like i i make this shit up when i'm about to say it because i finally get what you were talking about back when uh daniel would always give you shit and tell you you were saying that i was making it like this didn't happen to you i'm like no this stuff really did happen to me go with me on this please like believe me 100 okay she asked me if i knew nickel back she asked me if i knew nickel back and then she started singing a song with the word photograph

in it but it wasn't photograph it was some song. And she expected me to finish it. She's like, do you know Nickelback? I'm like, yeah, I know Nickelback. She's like, okay. No, she meant do you know them personally, Ryan? Are you friends with Nickelback? She started singing again. And I'm really trying to rack my brain.

So she's singing a song that's not Nickelback and then saying it's Nickelback. Yes. And then she started doing all this shit again. And she just got silent. We had another one of those staring matches. I'm like, I'm going to, I'm going to go.

And then I like got up and started walking away. She's like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I like turn back and she goes, just,

just finish this one for me. Oh no. Why? I'm like, what? Okay. Okay. You don't know.

It is my, it's gonna lie. I'm like, I really don't know what is my it's gonna i'm like i really don't know what you're fucking saying and so i'm getting all anxious and i'm like hey i'm just gonna i'm gonna go i'm gonna go she's like okay go cry stop just should have walked over and slapped her. Ming! No! You can't do these things, Ming! Bad Ming! You can't do these things! You scare people! She does. She's scary. What if right when Hey, finish this last one for me! It's just like silent and a single

spotlight shines on her. It's like I dreamed a dream in time gone by! The spotlight shifts to you. I'd sing right back. That'd be a fucking beautiful moment. But Ming is back. Ming is back and better than ever.

Yeah, she is, apparently. So, guys, I guess the Ming report will continue until she disappears again, which is going to happen eventually. Right now, Push Ups has taken her spot. There's another homeless person that's found the alleyway. Push-ups, my man. I call them push-ups because one time I was walking down into the alleyway and I saw just this guy doing push-ups. And you can always tell it's push-ups because he always carries around a little shopping cart with him. Oh.

Yeah. So it's push-ups and a shopping cart. Oh, he's tall. That's a really tall guy. Yeah, very tall. And he wears like a track suit. Mm-hmm. And he does push-ups in the alleyway. He doesn't mess with't mess with anyone he's very nice yeah he just kind of like rests i

think he takes naps there and then he takes ming's spot every now and then then he goes back and roams around so whenever i see push-ups there i know it's safe because ming's not gonna want he's not gonna mess with you he's yeah he's a nice dude so uh wait so on this podcast we've had quite the the repertoire of uh of of homeless individuals we know. Started with Dirk. Remember Dirk? Yes. We got Ming. Yep. Then we got Bozo. Then we got Push-Ups. We got a whole fucking gang. And we got the bike crew. The two guys

that ride bikes. Yeah. The nice bearded guy that knows me by name. Are they still around? I don't know. I see the Mexican guy a little more often. They biked on somewhere. I see them every now and then. They have multiple spots.

God! The guy told me, bearded boy, bearded guy, he talked, he's like, yeah, there's a lot of good spots around here. And so I think they just transition depending on the attention they're getting. Ming likes that one spot, though. You know what? I just remember, we've had more encounters with other people in that alleyway in the past. Like you had that guy that asked if you had meth and sang to you.

Oh, yeah, and sang to me. Sing like a Christmas song or something. What is with people? They just like singing. They're like, hmm. It's the second time you have been sung to in the same place by a different homeless person. Yeah. Both probably on some hard drugs.

And then there was the other guy that night. We were out there. Ming legit acts like she's on bath salts. I think it's gotta be bath salts. I mean, maybe people in the comments know more about this. I don't know what drug she's on that makes her scream non-stop. She screams and she's very aggressive and she throws

her arms around. She throws trash around. She wrecks shit. And I don't know. I feel like it's bath salts. Maybe. Or like a brain parasite. Yes. Maybe. Maybe she's a social experiment. Maybe she's a okay maybe maybe she's a social experiment maybe she's a time traveler it's a social experiment she's a time traveler that they you know didn't want back so now she's gone crazy and no one's dude no one believes her you know that'd be a i had an idea for a movie where homeless people that are crazy like crazy homeless people are

actually time travelers sent from the past or future. But they just send them because they don't know what's going to believe them. They're like, oh, they'll just think it's a crazy homeless person. He's like, I'm from the future. It's like, oh, it's just a crazy homeless person. But they're telling the truth. You need to believe me. Help me.

Yeah. I know Nickelback. Finish their song. You know, the one. Yeah. And he sings it incorrectly because he's from a different universe. Where there's another Nickelback that has another song about a photograph. Exactly, but it doesn't exist in this timeline.

Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I understand. I roll with the flow on that one. I wish we could interview Ming on this podcast. After that, I'd say it's impossible. There's no way to correctly

interview her. Yeah, and no, we're not ever gonna film her or take pictures of her, because I'm not gonna, we're not gonna go to that level of, you know, releasing this poor woman online, but we could still talk about our interesting encounters with her. Leave it up to the imagination of the audience to kind

of depict what Ming is, what she looks like. I mean, we painted a pretty good picture. Yep. Have we said she's black and not Asian? Yeah. Okay. It's a black woman who's not Asian.

Yeah, because people hear Ming and they're like... Yeah, they think it's an old Asian woman, but it's... It's just a regular old African-American lady. Loves her hoodies. How old is she, you'd say? 35? Not 35. I'd say mid-30s.

Mid-30s, definitely. I feel bad for her. I really do. I want to know, like, how did she... What is she doing? And why is she... I mean, it's gotta suck being at this level for so long. It's been, well, at least over a year now, right? Since she showed up. Let's hire A24 to make a movie about her.

I thought you said Eat24. Eat24. Let's hire Eat24 to make a movie about Ming. To sponsor a documentary about Ming. Oh my God. I'd watch that documentary. I'd love to make a documentary about Ming. But you probably wouldn't go anywhere. Yeah.

Also that could possibly be seen as exploiting a homeless person. So, I mean, something I'm good at, but yeah, let's call this podcast exploiting homeless people. Okay. Let's go get them to fight for money

remember that guy that that was big in the news the guy that he made the uh before the internet he made these dvd series or there's like a crocodile hunter no uh have you seen that one though the guy like puts on an australian accent and goes and like he just fucks with homeless people it was fucked up might be the same guy shitty what do you oh that and then like there'd be a homeless guy sleeping then you go like tackle him and tie him up oh fuck that yeah fucked up yeah i know there was this guy he made this this like series called bum fights i think where he'd just pay homeless people to beat the shit out of each other jesus and film it and then sell these dvds and get rich he ended up being on dr phil and dr phil kicked him off because he

dressed up as dr phil oh yeah i know the guy that dressed up like Dr. Phil, and that's why he kicked him off. Because he was mocking him. I don't want to see you. You're despicable. And the crowd's like, oh, Dr. Phil, yes! Dr. Phil, I do not like Dr. Phil. He just seems so, like, better than you. Like, even though I feel like most of his stuff is

bullshit, he's just like, you are. You are despicable. And I'm not talking about the bumfights guy, I'm just talking in general. Wasn it oprah who helped him out like who got him kind of big Me I probably I don't know I don't know that that might just be conjecture But I'm sure they chill together. You know have a have a drink or a smoke together Do a line I'm sure they do you know you know dr. Dr.. Bill Dr. Bill you know Dr. Bill Cosby does coke I'm sure Bill Cosby's done coke

and I'm sure Dr. Phil has done coke 100% think Oprah's done coke I'd have to say maybe I feel like most celebrities have done coke I mean why not what celebrities have you have we ever talked about like any celebrities we've seen I think we did early on

but uh I unfortunately mostly see Vine stars instead of actual celebrities still yeah i i too have seen it's only with you i see vine stars because i have to point them out because you don't know who they are but you attract like you've seen attract vine stars you have something about you where you always see vine stars i have a curse it's like it oh it's definitely a curse it is 100 a curse you always see it's like six times a year it's like hey i saw this fine star i don't shitty they're all the same like cookie cutter douchebag snapback vine stars pretty much i i don't see them as much anymore because now they're becoming you well they are youtubers now vine ended a large i think most viners became YouTubers. They made that jump.

Get more money that way. I think Vine eventually. And their personalities, their personality channels. Those people did that in the beginning, those popular Vine stars that, you know, because he couldn't really make money off Vine. Was that just for an ego thing then? Like all the, for the attention, I guess? What do you mean? Vine?

Like, you know, famous Vine stars back then, if they weren't making money from Vine, but they were still doing it and like. Some of it, some of. Some Vine channels are actually interesting and fun to follow. What I'm talking about is like, you know, like bleach blonde hair styled back with a Snapchat. I mean, with a snapback resting gently. You're talking about like Weekly Chris

and Boris Larson. Fucking Boris Larson. I love that. What's his name? Brennan? Boris Larson has the most unattractive name, Boris Larson. It just sounds like your third grade teacher. Mr. Boris Larson. the most unattractive name, Boris Larson. It just sounds like your third grade teacher. Mr. Boris Larson. Sounds like something you'd name a malignant... Never mind.

It does. This is my tumor, Boris Larson. Jacob Sartorius is still the most famous Vine star we've spotted. Yep. It's our little Jacob. Who am I thinking of? Brent Riviera is who I'm thinking of. Brent Riviera.

I don't know any of these people. He's this, I know my Vine people. Dude, you know your Vine. How do you know? Oh, I forgot. I totally forgot. When I first met you, you watched Vine so much. I did. I just always was watching Vine. Right when I first moved in with you guys, I would just be wherever and all I'd hear would be like a silent apartment and I would just hear vines replaying over and over and over hey Chuck yeah look at this hey Chuck yeah look at this

and then you scroll to something else teachers be like teachers be like and I just hear everyone play like three or four times I'd just be sitting there but you never hear me laugh it would just be like scrolling through silently in my room silent judgment I'm imagining you're kind of like it's like reading the newspaper for you just sitting like yeah i guess it was that was my version of like the morning

news i don't think you ever would be like i don't think it ever happened once right here hey hey oh and you can be like hey watch this one. I don't think ever. The only, one of the only Viners that was legitimately funny and made me laugh, who is not, I wouldn't say a Viner, he's an artist. It was, who is Maxwell? Yeah, the guy that you and Daniel collaborated with back in synagogue days. Really funny. I love that video. Visit to Uncle Max?

Yeah, with Uncle Max. I want to meet him really bad. He's really funny. He's really cool. But yeah, anyways, to brent riviera he he was the kid that always i'm trying to think he he had a he had a thing you know how every viner kind of had their thing weekly chris's was you beautiful that type of shit brent riviera his thing was he'd always always say something he'd be it'd be kind of like when teachers be like blank blank blank and then he'd talk back to his teacher and it'd be like

a comeback and be like he'd always make that voice who is stupid my good friend Christian really was into Vine when it was big and he always watched Vines and and chortled to himself about them and he showed me some

showed me quite a few I had a Vine way back in the day. Back when I was in 11th grade in high school or something. It's probably still out there. I know my Vine is still out there. I don't know what's on it. I don't know if people have even...

I don't remember if I deleted it or if it's out there, but I should probably go check and see if my Vines have been noticed. If I go back and they have a bunch of views. Someone noticed my vines. My vines aren't getting the recognition they deserve. So? I'm a professional vine reviewer.

I'm a vine critic. Hello, Mr. Vine Reviews? That's me. We should do vine. We should do like a vine review series. me we should do vine uh we should do like a vine review series i remember this they were making a documentary about vine and how it like all changed the game no it wasn't even like that was like vine changed my life like i i'm this creative person and i can do these new things in six seconds with my phone camera holy fucking shit there was this really cool thing that some people did there was this filmmaker

oh there was this filmmaker very independent his name was tony oswald and he did this story through vine like it was uh kind of like not cinematic but i guess more cinematic definitely it was just six seconds of like little pieces of a narrative that would stitch together and you get things like doing stuff creative like that was but I forgot what it was called it was Tony B-Sides or no that was

his second account I wish he had a vine he probably did have a vine yeah you know only thing worse than vine is musically and which that's still a thing i've never even been on musically once neither of us like why why would i because because it's funny it's funny musically like dub smash but social it was social dub smash or something i think it was just like vine but it would just be you lip-syncing. Jacob Sartorius was huge on it. He died, dude. Not literally.

He died from the public eye. Remember how big he was about a year ago? He still makes a lot of money probably on YouTube. Think about it. Oh, totally. Like, I mean, like, he's still successful. But I mean, in terms of relevancy, he's not... And these people will always be relevant. They'll always have a fan base that will always be bigger than ours. Like, even when they're nothing, their fan base

will still probably be bigger than Super Mega. Yeah. But, in terms of, like, how big they are, it just kind of disappeared. Like, Leafy did, too. Leafy just kind of vanished. And he still gets really good views on his videos. I actually, Chris and I looked at his channel today. He gets really good views still. Hundreds of thousands. But

no one talks about him. No one talks about Jacob Sartorius. And I don't know if he gets views or anything anymore. He is going to grow up, though, to be the biggest asshole in the world. He already is, I'm sure. What about your favorite young YouTuber? Who? MattyBRaps.

Have you checked on his content? Yeah, dude, MattyBRaps. He's going to be collabing with some trap artists in like two years. I'm serious. Do you see how he dresses now? No. He'll wear like a Thrasher shirt and put his hair in a man bun and have like... What?

Wait, he has hair to be a man bun now? Yeah, that's what he does now. He does a man bun. What? And like a fade on the side. Matty B raps. No. I'm serious, dude.

What the fuck? And like he wears like Timbs and shit. I'm not fucking with you. How can I... Do we have internet somewhere in here? No. I need to see this. I'm not fucking with you. How can I? Do we have internet somewhere in here? No. I need to see this. I'm going to go grab my phone.

Okay. I'll distract the audience. He's big into like the trap culture. I'm not kidding. So he's just bringing his phone in, but I'd like to take time to recommend anyone go see the movie Logan. I had a good time with it. It wasn't bad.

I enjoyed myself. Anyways, Matt's back here. He legitimately is on the verge of turning himself into like an actual like rapper. That's not a joke. Show me a picture. Show me man bun Matty B with faded side hair. Let me show you. Hold on.

Internet sucks in here. Has Tumblr really innovated at all? Or does it kind of just stay in its own thing like it's still like it's still tumblr pinterest died out didn't it or is it

still big oh yeah I haven't heard anything about pinterest is pinterest still big I don't know I had a pinterest at one point

I'm afraid to know when is it public these thoughts are running through my head. How long is it going to take you? I'm trying to find a good example. Here, I'll just show you the man bun.

Fuck it. I'll show you. Just show me the man bun. Like this? Like, look. Dude, let's get him on a... Okay, if we actually make an album, I will kill to get Matty B on a song.

I would love to get him on an album. We'll make the song rated G. And you know, but you know, his parents would be like, that's going to cost 30 grand. Oh, God, yeah. You know, they're going to be like, you want him on an album we'll make the song rated g and you know but you know his parents would be like that's gonna cost uh 30 grand oh god yeah you know you know they're gonna be like you want him on your track that's gonna cost more than you make in a year it's like okay fuck you or or maybe they were just gonna let him do it for free but then they're gonna hear this podcast like wow these guys are pompous fucking assholes assuming us like that so then they're not gonna

let him do a track with us we're bad role models for little matthew b do you think if we tried our hardest we could get ice jj fish on a track maybe because you're wealthy babe oh i love i love that song i i i've uh i was introduced to him on vine oh Oh, IceJJFish? His Vine was killer. Him and Brian Silva. Brian Silva? Whatever. You don't win it. Sorry.

I do gay porn. Really? Have you not seen Brian Silva being fucked? No, I've seen um what's his face Vitaly uh in the background of a gay porn just kind of standing up against the wall in the back of a gay porn

no you know how there's the Vitaly video where he's in the bang bus and he can't get it up there's also you didn't know a video came out where it's like dudes it's like a gay porn and it's like a bunch of dudes dudes fucking Vitaly's just standing around he's there like while they're fucking i feel bad for vitality i really feel i just i feel bad for him because he's not like he's not socially aware of just or maybe he is maybe he is aware of his image But he's just a very desperate person And when you see someone

Like very desperate for attention At that age It's just sad Yeah I can see that I mean of course I do feel bad for him In the sense that like you know Embarrassing things I don't like him

He's a douche You've seen videos of him actually being a douche But There's that second hand embarrassment you get for someone who's so attention hungry that they're just ruining kind of their own mental health yeah and also like I feel to a degree

like I do feel bad for him for the fact that embarrassing things like uh porn of him whatever got out there cause like no one wants that that is embarrassing um whether even though like he's well he got on the bang bus which is going to be put online type of shit But still it's like you know I don't think he minds I'm sure you know you don't want people knowing that type of thing, but maybe he doesn't mind I mean I wouldn't get in the bang bus unless I didn't really care cuz you get on the bang bus

You know you know like that's gonna be on the internet for everyone to see. Yeah, they don't blur out your face. Nope. Sometimes they probably would. Maybe. Maybe you could ask. I don't know. But who knows if that's going to actually go through. Ryan, let's go.

Let's see if we can get on the bang bus. What if a bang bus video bus got out of like, like just they pull up like, hey, guys, get in. I mean, it's just like a little old lady and we double team her. Anyway, you want to wrap the podcast up here? Okay. Let's wrap it up with a big bow. A big bow. Wrap it up in a nice little gift package.

Nice. Let's leave on this note. Okay. I think that more people should read. I've been reading a book lately that I think a lot of people should check out. It is called The Giving Tree. So go check out The Giving Tree. It's a long giving tree it's a long read it's a it's a long read it's it's very mature it's a little bit above my lexicon ryan yeah um it's probably the thickest book i've ever read and the vocabulary gets pretty intense about halfway through i've

only gotten about probably only like a fifth into that it comes with its own glossary because it has a lot of lore that you have to get into. Oh, the backstory is huge. The Giving Tree. Go check out that novel. Fuck all. This is a serious podcast. That's good. That's good.

Woo! Yeah, that's good. Good. Yeah. Yeah, keep going. That's good. We're done, right? Bye, guys. Yeah, we're done. See keep going, that's good We're done, right? Bye guys, yeah, we're done, see ya

See ya next week