supermegashow - EP 39 - Dirty Laundry

Episode Date: April 15, 2017

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The big 4-0 over the hill. Anyway, guys, this is kind of a special episode because it's also, this is coming out not exactly on, but one day after the birthday of our channel, the one year birthday. So I guess, look at that. Happy birthday to SuperMega. Yeah, a whole year has happened. We have over 200,000 subscribers. We have over 3 billion YouTube views. 3 billion, guys. Thank you so much for that. We have opened

up 5 new bank accounts in our names, thanks to you guys. Couple overseas ones that the good ol' IRS don't know about, but don't tell them for us. Yeah, they're gonna legitimately use this for information. Because you know people who work at the IRS don't understand YouTube or any

sort of, like, kind of internet communications. Or humor, and they're gonna hear this and be like, well, let's audit them and investigate. So, geez, well, fuck. Well, now someone's going to, someone's dad's going to work for the IRS and hear them listening to this in the background and be like, those sons of bitches. Yeah, the IRS are only afraid of people in airplanes. Yeah. Anyway, guys, welcome to episode 39.

Got some fun topics today. But like we said, it is the one year anniversary it is the birthday of our channel so I just want to give a thank you to everyone who has listened to our podcast watched our videos our live action our gaming stuff and supported us throughout this year it's been a really fun ride

so far oh shit I'm sorry dude my phone just went off as you're picking up but I also like to say thank you it's really cool to see the support we get uh we've actually started to get some super mega animations which is which is really cool i don't know there's something about seeing people be creative on top of just our bullshit commentary. It's almost like, here, see what you can make out of this. Yeah, we really appreciate animations that you guys make, and some of them are really, really good.

So thank you guys for whoever, any people who make those. I think that we are both incredibly thankful for you guys bringing us to 200,000, over 200,000 subscribers in just one year. That is a, when we started the channel last April, we did not think that we would get to, we thought maybe 100,000 in the first year. We did not expect. Yeah, that was our goal. Our goal was 100,000 in one year.

We did not expect to double that goal, go over 200,000. I think we're at 208,000 right now at the time of recording this, because at the time of recording this, it is Wednesday, April 12th, 2017, which is the one-year birthday of our channel. So, I'm really proud of how far

we've all, you know, brought it this far. Why were no special videos uploaded to celebrate your one year? Because we're fucking busy! We got busy lives! Why do you need to celebrate your fucking busy we got busy lives why why do you need to celebrate you can celebrate yourselves you can draw pictures you can you can make a little birthday cake which says super mega on it and send it to us don't send it to us like take a picture and send it to us don't send us an actual birthday cake in the mail because that shit would be disgusting and send us those pictures uh You can do that through super mega birthday cake podcast talking pictures at gmail.com.

That's not a real – oh, yeah, go ahead. Just send it. Send it to that. Sure. See what happens. a lot, but at the end of the day, we are very thankful for the last year, all the support we've received, and all of the people who have come to enjoy our content in one form or another, whether it be the podcast, or the games, or the live action, or all of it all together. We have so much more of that on the way. You know, it's only been one year, but here's to another year of fun content, of new games, of a lot more live action.

Fingers crossed. We've been promising that, and then we've had nothing to show for it in the year of 2017. We have some good live action. No, we have good. Oh, in 2017. We have one male opening video. I thought you meant since we started the channel. Yeah.

Well, life is, believe it or not, we've got lives outside of YouTube that have, they're very busy. They have, we have our own, you know. Ups and downs all around. Ups and downs that happen here and there. So it's not always easy doing highly produced content like live action stuff. It's not always easy to, it's easy to drop the ball on that stuff. But from this point out, we're trying to make an effort. We've been talking about it a lot, making, we really want to get back into doing sketch comedy we love doing that you know I did

that on kids of problems Ryan did on syndigo so we really want to make super mega a new platform to release get back to our roots with the sketch stuff and release that on here and it is eventually coming I know it just seems like it's taking forever we keep promising stuff and then it just seems like it's taking forever but we are very thankful for all of the support and all of you that that watch and uh listen to us so thank you thank you thank you thank you so much looking back a year in reflection you know we've played what about probably 100 games i'd say yeah some series a lot of one-offs i think total we've played, what, about probably 100 games, I'd say. Yeah. Some series, a lot of one-offs. I think total we've played about 100 games so far in one year.

We've released 38, 30, I guess if you count this one, 39 podcast episodes, big handful of live action videos, a couple experiments here and there. So looking back on the first year of our channel, what do you have a specific favorite moment? Let's do it. Let's pick a favorite moment and then pick a favorite video and then pick a favorite series. Can you do that? Okay.

Favorite moment was unfortunately not caught on camera, but it was a part of the narrative. It was when we went to Area 51, that whole experience. But there was something about the lights turning off and just being out in the middle of the desert where you know like... Oh, yeah. When we were at the gate

to Area 51 and they shut the lights off on us. Yeah. I wish we got that on camera. I turned it off right when it happened. I know you... It was so cool though, but...

Because I'm a dirty boy. Well, I don't blame you. That scared the shit out of me. I would have done the same thing. I would have just been like, all right, we're done filming. Let's go. No, no.

Like I turned it off before they... Oh, yeah. It was right before they done the same thing. I would have just been like, all right, we're done filming. Let's go. No, no. Like I turned it off before they. Oh, it was. Oh, yeah. It was right before they shut the lights off. Yeah. So fun, fun, fun. Let's see.

What's the favorite video? What's your favorite video we've done on the channel? It's definitely one of the live action ones. I'm just, I'm trying to think of which one would be my favorite. I mean, I definitely, I had a great time. I think as far as like memories go, I think the Area 51 video was the most fun to make. Yeah. Because just that whole trip was really fun.

You and I still, I think, agree that we wish we kind of kept our R rating. Yeah, we kind of viraled that one up, made it more family friendly. Hoping to see, it was kind of like an experiment to see like, hey, can we do something kind of viral? And I mean, it worked. We reached a million views on that. Yeah, but someone knew how to be more viral than us. we've talked about this before but fuck you yep sorry i didn't mean to you didn't find me too don't put them in the thumbnail and make people think you did just yeah don't well they got a lot of dislikes for that for putting you two in the thumbnail and

then yeah they didn't find it who turned the ac on god damn it turned it, Ryan. Someone had turned on the AC, which is very loud in the back, especially of a podcast, because there's no other background audio. If we had two million subscribers, that shit wouldn't happen. Nope. So for me, favorite moment. Oh, did you finish? Did you pick up? I didn't.

I don't know. I just say any live action video, I think, is just a good favorite. I don't think I have a favorite, favorite video. In terms of series. Your favorite podcast episode? Oh, favorite podcast episode? The one with Chris. Back.

Because my favorite moment of the podcast is like, I fucked your son and threw him in the river. Like that whole thing, which is in. Oh, yeah. It belongs to a larger story that was told on the podcast. I think that was episode 11 of our podcast. Was it episode 11? I think that was it's the first one with Chris his name is in red font it's called an evening

with Oni that's the name of the podcast episode that's definitely my favorite podcast episode that's taking it way back to when we recorded the podcast and all the gaming videos we recorded that in our living room we'd pull chairs up so basically we'd like we had a computer hooked up to the TV.

Yeah. Before we get back to talking about like our favorite moments, let's go back to how we kind of started doing it. We'd had a, we had a TV in our living room that we had this computer hooked up to that would be recording the audio or the game, both usually depending on, but for a podcast, just the audio. And we'd all pull chairs. Well, shit, I almost spilled a drink.

We'd all pull chairs up and sit all around the TV. And we had these microphones on these like bendable arms that we'd clip on to the like TV stand. And we had the take on and off that ruined the table because it scraped the edges of the table. But it's an Ikea table, so who really gives a shit? I think we saw it recently. It was like $30. But we'd all, you know, we'd sit around and we'd just pull the chairs up and sit in our echoey apartment that we had just moved into we just finally started putting more furniture in so it's not so empty but we just sit there uh

like late evening just record podcasts and it was good time well i had a really good time very fond of those uh those days of recording in our living room because i love this recording studio at the grumps office that we use it's incredible great sound quality and everything there are also a lot of moments within the apartment that we kind of took advantage of too just like the comfortability of being in our own home and also just being able to record something live action right away if we needed it here it's a bit harder because either a camera's being used or the camera's back at home yeah so it was a lot easier probably to like...

You can see in recent Let's Plays, we're putting some more live action back into them. Yeah, we want to do more of that. We're just... As much as you guys want the live action content, you have no idea how much we want to make it. But we're, as Matt said, really fucking busy. Because we keep saying we're about to clear up fucking busy because we because you know we keep saying

we're about to clear up but every time our schedule clears up something happens we just one of us goes on a trip more work is dropped on to us life is unpredictable because we at the end of the day we do edit all the game drums videos we edit all the videos for suzy's channel and for our own channel so we we manage a lot of big daily channels that release videos on the daily and that's not a uh you know that's not something that we can just do really quickly that's something that takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to do but yeah that you know that's that that is our job so that has to be our main focus over super mega because you know that is we are employed so that's our job um so we gotta take that very seriously but you know

sometimes super mega unfortunately does fall to kind of be like not a priority it has to kind of go on the back burner for a while and we you know i hate when that happens but unfortunately it just kind of is what we have to do sometimes it is what it is um but you know we always do come back and pick it um back up and put a lot more effort into it whenever we're not so busy. But, I mean, it's to expect with our channel. It kind of happens sometimes. We're always making videos on a website. We're not a... Two 21

year olds, or you're 22, but two young dudes just trying to pay rent and make videos the best they can. Just two young dudes trying to make it through the world. some of y'all got all these high expectations, but we're just two young dudes trying to make videos and trying to manage editing videos for other people. So, yeah, it's kind of stressful when you add in the stress of personal life on top of all that. But, yeah.

But, guys, yeah, I have deeply enjoyed doing this channel a lot. If I had to pick a favorite video... Wait, I didn't get to say my favorite series. Say it, say it. My favorite series, honestly, my favorite series right now is the Destroy All Humans series. Ever? It's the most current series. Right now, because I'm just having a lot of fun playing the game.

Like, it's a game that I love playing, and I also, like, I really enjoy editing it. It's just a goofy game. I'm just having a good time editing playing and all that shit so yeah if I had to look back at a favorite series I don't know I really like the Pikmin series just because I think that stretched through a long period of time that's kind of nostalgic so I did like the Pikmin series a lot um and then it spawned the whole soup video we did Ryan's soup that was disgusting I mean as much as I do like don't the Donkey Kong Country playthrough and I know that's was probably expected to be my favorite or one of my favorites like what it's I have this weird thing that's back when

we were making all of the every single old joke that I kind of disdain today is really. In that series. It's in the Pikmin series too here and there. I think we stopped throughout the Pikmin series. But I mean, our humor has definitely changed because I was watching. Well, we've become more comfortable. Yes. I don't know.

It's like in the beginning we were trying to find a voice and then we just. Because we were new to it. We didn't really know how to go about a Let's Play channel. You sink more into it as time goes on. What we like more, which I'm glad we're finding what we like more and what we make, but a lot of the old videos I go back, I still think fondly of them, but I don't necessarily laugh at them anymore, because I'm just like, eh. We'll probably...

Say that about this. Yeah. We'll probably be thinking that about... No Yeah, we'll probably be thinking that about... No, there's no way we'd think about that with Katamari, would we? Who knows? Katamari was probably my favorite series because I think I just had a really good time playing that. And I thought all the episodes turned out real nice. I really like the Bible series, too.

I'm disappointed that... We can't get that thing to work. Yeah, we can. The game's not working. It's not the game. It's the GameCube thing. We haven't tried it in months. It might work now. We could try it that thing to work. The game's not working. It's not the game. It's the GameCube thing. We haven't tried it in months. It might work now.

We could try it live on the podcast. If you want. Can you give Jose a call? Jose, we're not recording this podcast at like 11 p.m., so it's almost 6 p.m. where Jose is. He's definitely probably working. What was this, like episode 33 we first brought this up? Like six episodes ago?

We can't get a hold of him. So explain for those who are a little confused of the situation, why are we calling your good friend Jose? Good friend Jose. Because I've met him. He's a great guy. That slams his hand on windows passing by strangers. He does do that, and that makes me very embarrassed.

But Jose, we had a discussion a long time ago windows passing by strangers he does do he does do that and that makes me very embarrassed but uh jose we had a discussion a long time ago how jose spent hundreds of dollars on the app clash of clans yep and we were wondering what was going through his mind that made him do that so uh we wanted to give him a call and i think on two or three podcasts we tried to give him a call to get his to get him on an interview on the podcast and he never answered. So here's another try. Yeah, we're going to give him a call. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can

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That's A-N-G-I dot com. Come on, Jose. Come on, don't do it again. Don't make us wait for another episode. Does he never ever answer his phone? He always picks up his phone. I don't know what he's doing. Oh, come on.

Do I have the right number? Yeah, I do. All right. Hold on. Please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. Hey, Jose. It's your boy, Matt.

We called you back on episode 33 of our podcast, hoping to get you for an interview. We've called you back on 34 and more, and now we're recording episode 39 right now. That was like four or five weeks ago, and you still haven't picked up the damn phone. We really want to get you on an interview on this podcast because we want to ask you some

questions about something and i have a there's a story i would like for you to tell on this podcast um so so please hopefully in episode 40 you'll pick up the podcast the phone for the podcast so wait a second wait a second hope you're doing well maybe he'll do my number hmm you want to give him a call yeah okay bye Jose I didn't even think how that was also going in the uh okay alright here's Jose's number we're cutting so you don't okay

just forget to cut out his number swear to god if he's just ignoring my calls and we find that out live on the podcast he might just be ignoring my calls hello son of a bitch hello hello hey uh i have a question for you jose this is ryan what's up man hey i was just about to call now back i'm not oh oh were you yeah yeah yeah okay we caught you we caught you Wait, wait, wait.

Are you at work right now? No, I'm at work right now. Are you managing? Yes. Do you look unprofessional on the phone right now? I'm in the tea room, so yeah. Ah, he's in the tea room. What's the tea room?

It's where we made tea. Oh, okay. Do you have time to answer a question for us, or do we have to wait for the next podcast? Is this about the Clash of Clans? Yes. Oh, my gosh. I guess I can answer a quick question.

Okay, Matt. All right, Jose, I just want to know, how much money did you spend on Clash of Clans, and why? Jose? Are you why? Jose? You there? Jose? Did we lose signal? Did we lose-

No I- Jose? Hello? Let me hear- Hello? Yeah, Jose how much money did you spend on Clash of Clans total ever? No it- Call failed!

No! God damn it! Is my service in here horrible? No. God damn it! It's not bad, it is my service in here horrible ah damn it it's not bad look at my service he's at work right now and he's he's also a manager so i don't want him to get in trouble being on the phone so maybe we'll have to wait for the next episode to figure out the exact number jose spent on clash of clans shit we got so close people are gonna be like no i know sorry guys uh

but i actually calls back if he calls back we'll see i do want to actually get jose on as a guest for the podcast he's the guy from uh some of I do want to actually get Jose on as a guest for the podcast. He's the guy from some of my old videos on Kids With Problems on We Sell Drugs. Oh, wait. He's calling me. He's calling me. Okay, okay, okay. Jose? Hey.

Hey, dude. Sorry. Sorry. The call was cutting out. Yeah. It went pretty, like, the service was bad. Yeah, dude. Would you mind, Ant?

Do you know how much money you spent on clash of clans total it was it was a little over 200 like wait how much did how much would you spend at a time um it started really you know it was it was very i was very innocent and i started with like the five dollar ones and i realized man if i just bundled this to get like if i get a ton at once, I save so much money. Yeah, you saved a lot of money. Why was it worth it to you? The addiction started whenever I got some,

I got like iTunes gift cards at Christmas. Okay. And I already had like all the music I liked, so I wasn't going to buy anything with iTunes. So I just had a bunch of iTunes credits stored up. And so that's when my addiction started. But I spent a little over $200 of my own money. Was it worth it? Did it make the game better?

No. It made it awful because I used the gems to speed up time. But then what ended up happening is I didn't have enough money once I got to a higher level to speed up the time that it would take to upgrade higher defenses. So I just ended up just leaving the app, just not playing it. You don't play it anymore? No, man. I'll go back every once in a while. I'll look at it, but it's pretty sad.

I actually have something that is on par that I just remembered. What did you do? With Halo armor permutations, because sometimes you have to get limited editions or do certain things. So you spent a lot of money on Halo? I went on eBay, and I bought codes off of eBay for Halo armor variants. Because they had, like...

Were they expensive? They were sometimes like $20, $50. Oh my god, for Halo armor? I just remembered I did something really fucking stupid as well. But it's worse because, Jose, it was Clash of Clans. It's not a

AAA title, is it? Well, Clash of Clans is huge, or it was. It's not that big anymore yeah well dude thank you so much for finally answering that question for us we've just been curious you know listen dude it's my pleasure oh that's good old Jose hey we want to have you on as a full guest sometime maybe you can tell us that that one story you know you know the one at the beach oh the beach story yeah dude oh yeah you'll Oh. We'll have to save that one for later. All right, man.

We'll get back to work. Make some people happy. Serve some chicken. We'll come out here soon. Yeah, man. Yeah, come visit us soon. Miss you. Yeah, you know it.

All right. See you, man. All right. Have a good one. All right, bye. I forgot that I spent a shit ton of money on Halo 3 armor shit. I'm trying to think if there's anything. I think the app I spent money on was Tiny Tower. I spent a shit ton of money on Halo 3 armor shit. I'm trying to think if there's anything. I think the app I spent money on was Tiny Tower.

I spent a lot of money. Not a lot of money, but I think total I maybe spent between $20 and $30 on Tiny Tower. Which is still very... I think if I pick that up again today, I might get re-addicted to it. That's a very fun game. Did you ever play Tiny Tower? No. I don't even know what the premise is.

It's where you make a... You have to make like a skyscraper. And you start with one floor and you add different floors. There's like restaurants, residential, like a whole bunch of different types of floors you can add. And you move people in and give them jobs. And it earns money and you have to restock items in different shops. And you can change the colors and everything. It's so much fun.

Is your name on top of the tower or something? No. Oh. They can make tiny trump tower these days or you gotta run trump's tower dude i'm not gonna lie his his buildings do look cool like have you ever seen trump tower not the one in we have seen the one in vegas it's like a big golden tower and they that reflects the yellowness of the desert so it's just this big monolith of piss yeah it looks like a big piss monolith. I mean, it is cool, but

it's kind of funny how he made his building to look like it was made out of gold. And then the one in New York City, the architecture's really cool. It has, like, chunks taken out of it where they put trees growing out of the building. Wait, really? Yeah. It's a cool building, but, I mean, I don't, you know...

I want to... Never mind, I forgot what i was gonna say but yeah i mean maybe uh we could move into trump tower sometime we could get an office there and do super mega from trump how cool would that be dude if we did super mega out of trump tower if we twitch live streamed from trump tower just like just just just telling people like yeah we do all our all of our funny let's playsays and podcasts out of Trump Tower. People would be like, what? He's got a lot of properties.

How many Trump Towers are there? There's one in Vegas. I don't know. There's one in New York. Are there more around the country? How many Trump Towers are there? I know he has a lot of buildings. He's got a bunch of golf courses.

He's got a bunch of hotels. A lot of hotels. Lay Epic Trump Tower. He should rename it that. And he should get those big golden letters that say Lay Epic over Trump Tower. So it's called Lay Epic Trump Tower. He should rename it that, and he should get those big golden letters that say Lay Epic over Trump Tower, so it's called Lay Epic Trump Tower XD. I really don't feel like looking this up

and waiting for it to load. I just don't care, and I don't think the people care. Well, I like Trump Tower. I think Trump Tower is the best tower that's ever been built. Good old Trump Tower. It's the greatest tower. You look at all the other towers, they just get knocked down. See old Trump Tower. It's the greatest tower. There's never been...

You look at all the other towers, they just get knocked down. See, Trump Tower's still standing. It's the best. It's the greatest. You know, I don't like towers... That fall down. That fall down.

I prefer towers that don't fall down. Yeah. And that's why I like Trump Tower. Alright, so recently I went to Universal Studios for the first time in Hollywood With my loving family And I'd never been there before And I went on all the fun rides

And I went on the studio tour But something that stood out to me Was I Got some Dippin' Dots The last few days I've had Dippin' Dots twice Dippin' Dots are good but I've honestly kind of burned myself out on them Just after having them twice What flavor do you get? What's your favorite flavor of Dippin' Dots twice. Oh, it's so good. Dippin' Dots are good, but I've honestly kind of burned myself out on them just after having them twice. What flavor do you get? What's your favorite flavor

of Dippin' Dots? Rainbow ice and cotton candy and the Sour Patch Kids strawberry one. What's your favorite flavor, though? Rainbow ice. Mine is just chocolate. I don't like chocolate ice cream, though. I like fruity-flavored Dippin' Dots. I like the kind of fruity-flavored

ones. No, no, no. I've never been a fan of... I've had Banana flavored Dippin' Dots. I like the kind of fruity flavored ones. No, no, no. I've never been a fan of... I've had banana split Dippin' Dots. They're good. But you know what the thing about Dippin' Dots is? What's the thing about Dippin' Dots, my boy? The thing about Dippin' Dots is... What's the slogan?

It's the ice cream of the future? Yeah. They've been saying it's the ice cream of the future for like 20 years now. When did Dippin' Dots start? You can't put Dippin' Dots in a fucking cone and expect people to have a good time eating it. Okay, so Dippin' Dots start? You can't put Dippin' Dots in a fucking cone and expect people to have a good time eating it. Okay, so Dippin' Dots. Here's the thing about Dippin' Dots. Here's the thing. Here's the thing

about Dippin' Dots. When did Dippin' Dots hold on a second. When did Dippin' Dots start? 1988. 28 years ago. So it's called the ice cream of the future since 1988. Well, the future's now, Ryan, and it's not the ice cream of the future. It hasn't replaced ice cream. Well, I mean's now, Ryan, and it's not the ice cream of the future. It hasn't replaced ice cream. Well, I mean, if it was made back then, and it's still kind of going on this far.

Well, it is. Technically, it is the ice cream. It's ice cream of the future, but it's not the ice cream of the future. They still don't sell it. I can't get it in stores. I can't just go to the store and buy Dippin' Dots. Didn't you used to be able to, like, buy little cups? Little packets?

I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. But, I mean, the packets are never as good. They're always kind of melted, and then they've rezen together well i'm gonna go on amazon.com you can order dipping dots online in bulk which i would love to get a bag to put in our free amazon though uh i'm looking it up dip and is it no it's dip in dots not dip and dots dipping without the g dipping dots oh i always thought it was a dip and dipping dots

dip and dots yeah dip dip and dot really yeah there's dipping tape nade what's that what tapenade tapenade top a nod okay top a nod a top tape nade tape nade dipping dots is an ice cream snack invented by Southern Illinois University Carbondale graduate Kurt Jones in 1988. The confection is created by flash-freezing ice cream mix in liquid nitrogen. The marketing slogan is Ice Cream of the Future. Okay. Yeah, like they sell them in these packets. On Amazon?

See? Oh, you can get on Amazon Prime now? Did it say Amazon Prime now? Wait, are you on Amazon Prime now? Did it say Amazon Prime now? Wait, are you on Amazon Prime now or is it Amazon Prime? I'm on Amazon Prime. Oh, shit, dude. You can't get any on Prime. I don't see any Prime.

Well, I wish Dippin' Dots were Prime. I wish you could get them in the store in big containers like regular ice cream because I fucking love Dippin' Dots. I would definitely have a big old fucking container in our freezer of Dippin' Dots. Well, you can get the big bulk bags online. I just don't know how cold they're going to be when they get to you. Because here's the thing. If Dippin' Dots even melt just a little bit, you refreeze them, they're kind of ruined.

They're not those... The thing about Dippin' Dots is they're those perfect little balls. Those little spheres. And if they melt, they lose that. And when they refreeze, it's just a bunch of little globs. A bunch of little... I mean, they still taste the same, but... I like it when they start melting and mushing together. Yes. That's like my favorite point of Dippin' Dots.

That is the best, because they're still like cold on the... Like when you're scraping them out of the bottom with a spoon. Ah, dude! I want Dippin' Dots now. Am I speaking your language? You're speaking my fucking language. Good, good. You're Dippin' my Dots right now, man.

I really want some of those. Dip and Dots? I want some Dip and Dots. Nice. Ew, that just made me think of like dipping dots and then someone doing dip and uh spinning the dip spit into their dipping dots and then eating it i had a step uncle do you want to do you want to do you want to know what he used to do okay well i'm guessing it has to do with dip because it's my stepdad's sister's husband

so my step wait your stepdad's sister's husband sorry So my step uncle. Wait, your stepdad's sister's husband. Sorry, husband, yeah. Did I say uncle or husband? You said step uncle. He's my step uncle. That's your step uncle? He's not my actual uncle. Yeah, no, but he...

Wait, your dad's sister's... My stepdad's sister's husband. Sorry, I'm being dumb. You're right. That's a step uncle. Yeah. And so what he would do as a hilarious practical joke is he

would, he did dip a lot. So when he needed to spit his dip out, he would always just spit it in the toilet and leave it there. Dude, that's funny. For one of the kids to find because it looked like poo-poo. His name is, we call him Uncle Sonny. Uncle Sonny. Uncle Sonny.

Who would go spit his dip in the toilet and leave it for someone else to find because that's a funny joke when you walk up into the toilet and there's poo-poo in it. He's a big hunter, too. Wow. Actually, that whole side of the family is pretty big on hunting. Yeah, yeah. I got some family that's that kind of a, you know, South Carolina vibe. Dip is disgusting. That is probably the grossest form of tobacco to do.

It's like, you know, I've always heard this. I don't know how true this is because I've never researched it myself, but I've heard that dip, they put tiny, tiny little bits of fiberglass in it. So when you put it in, it makes little microscopic cuts on your gum to get the dip in, to absorb in your gum more. So there's little bits of fiberglass that. Wait, what? I think that's what I've always been told.

Dip fiberglass. Although small, glass-like particles can be seen. This is due to the formation of salt crystals. There is no fiberglass in dip. The addition of glass to dipping tobacco would be extremely ineffective as a delivery method, as bleeding and inflammation

would be likely to decrease the intake of nicotine. Well, I'm wrong. I've been proven wrong. By Google. Thank you, Google. But I've still dip. You should not dip. That's gross.

I've only known one person around my age that I was friends with that tried it once. And they said. I've tried it. Like the buzz is just sickening. It is. It's nauseating. So I. It's a big buzz you get.

Yeah. I had friends that uh i i knew this my friend's older brother he used to dip and it was really gross because they he just get an empty water bottle and just spit his dip spit into it so the water bottle would get filled to the rim with spit and it was just brown black spit god like watching people dip is gross yeah i i had a like i i don't know what that buzz is like. I only know what a cigarette buzz is like. It made me dizzy and I had it in my mouth like five seconds before I spit it out and felt like I was going to throw up.

I tried it just to try it and it was, ugh. We should, you know, let's do a let's play where we just take like, we each take half a can of dip and just chew it in our mouths. No, it's weird. It's nasty. Is it like, what does it taste like? It's tobacco. It tastes bad.

It's just tobacco? Just like, if you, if I just ate a cigarette? No, it's like smoky and it burns. Oh, it burns really bad. Yeah.

Or maybe I'm just a pussy and it's because I was in, I was in like ninth grade when I tried it. Yeah, it burns. Burns really bad. I remember he, he didn't want his parents

to know he dipped so he would hide his dip bottles under his bed. Yeah. I was in his't want his parents to know he dipped, so he would hide his dip bottles under his bed. Yeah. I was in his room once wearing flip-flops, and my foot went under the bed, kicked over a months-old bottle of spit. God. And it just went all in between my toes. That's so gross.

All over my foot and my flip-flop. And, yeah, it was just congealed dip spit. Well, chasing a buzz is super important. You got to chase that buzz. It's weird. The reason I actually started smoking, I started smoking at 18, I think. I think that's when I had my first cigarette. But I did it because I smoked weed beforehand.

And I'm like, and all of a sudden I had, it was disgusting. It was like a Marlboro Skyline. It was this blue pack. It was gross. And I just remember, this all of a sudden I had, it was disgusting. It was like a Marlboro skyline. It was this blue pack. It was gross. And I just remember, this is like, this is like a little mini high. Because the buzz you get from a cigarette. I'm like, this is like mini weed. This is like weed toned down.

And, and God, it's just so, it was so disgusting. Yeah. I, I, I remember getting super lightheaded. No, I've, I, I have smoked a cigarette before a cigarette before, and it made me really dizzy and lightheaded. But you smoked it like an idiot. You tried to inhale the whole thing. Like, you thought you just sucked it all down. Yeah, you just sucked it all down.

No, seriously, I don't remember. That was one of the worst feelings I've ever had in my life. You just thought, like, you know, I'll try one. I'll see what the big fuss is all about. I just sucked it all down, and then I just remember i just remember sitting there and my world was spinning and i felt like i was gonna throw up and like 10 minutes flew by in five seconds it was uh it's not i don't i don't recommend uh anyone out there to do that and i don't recommend anyone to use tobacco process those are bad for you they're bad for you very bad for you and i'm sure that they're very addictive it's it

sucks yeah it's it's a hard habit to kick so i i recommend people don't even try it don't even because you know i don't think anyone that smokes cigarettes is like ever been like you know what i'm gonna get addicted to cigarettes it's always like i'm just gonna you know i'm gonna try one i'll try another one you know why not and then you get addicted so the only pass i think people get is when they start smoking hookah because Because hookah is like a social thing. Yeah, so we, you and I used to smoke hookah. A lot. And I've had like three or four hookahs because Daniel broke one.

Daniel, he shattered that one. Yep. I just remember when I first came out to hang out with you guys for the first time, we did hookah like five nights in a row. Every night. I felt like absolute shit. I haven't done hookah. You were the one always asking, you were like, are we going to we gonna hook it up yeah because it was like it was like we'd always do are we gonna hook it up we're gonna fire up the hook that's what it was because no i'd never

i had never like smoked tobacco before yeah and i there was like the first time i had felt like a buzz and it feels awesome it feels great so i'm like oh let's do it again let's watch a movie and smoke the hookah it's like thick clouds so like it like, it's fun. It's fun. And it didn't taste bad. And then after like the fourth time, you're just like, Jesus Christ, I'm ready to die. I never want to, I haven't smoked hookah in over a year now because I don't want to. When I think of it, I feel sick, like deep down. It makes me feel nauseous because I just remember I would, I would just like do a whole bunch

of like hits on the hookah and then i would just have to go lay down because i felt so shitty i think the i think it's also way worse for you than cigarettes one hookah session is is like what like a pack of cigarettes or something like it's like a ton of cigarettes so regardless whether well whether you're smoking tobacco shisha marijuana uh i guess that's the three that i'm thinking of right now. You're still like burning shit and it's going in your throat. You're still not. It's it's it's smoke going down your throat regardless.

And into your lungs and being absorbed. So it's never going to feel it's never going to be good for you. It's never going to be, you know, there's not a healthier cigarette, I guess. But that's just a word of advice. I'm sure there's people listening to smoking a cigarette right now and you know what you do you but when you're on your deathbed you'll say man I should have listened

to Matt and Ryan should have listened to them but you guys have a cigarette on your podcast shit I forgot about that well that's for the smoke effect it looks cool it's something to look at you need something moving to look at just so you can just kick back and

just watch it and smoke is a good it's a good thing to look at you know and if you need some lore to help you kind of pick out a reason for that cigarette to be there to be like ryan used to smoke cigarettes there you go it's symbolic just lacks the smoke he just lacks the smell of the cigarette smoke he likes that's weird with people people who've had parents that smoke cigarettes, I'd always apologize and be like, sorry if I pulled out a cigarette. And they'd be like, no, I don't mind. I actually like the smell of cigarettes. No, I love the smell of cigarettes. I don't know why people, I don't like the smell.

I only like the effect. I liked, um. I'm kind of the opposite. I love the smell of cigarettes. Like going into a house where someone smokes or going into a, like, I love. It always seems so cheap to me whenever I smell smoke around. It does. But at the same time, I like that for some reason.

I love the way, I love the way cars that, you know, someone owned it that smoked in. I really like the way cars smell that people have smoked in. I don't know why. Cause I know like it does feel kind of dirty, but I get this like weird nostalgia. Cause neither of my parents smoked as a kid. My mom did. She's quit actually. But she smoked for a large portion of her life. Yeah i i just grew up with that yeah well i had one of

my best friends his parents smoked so maybe it takes me back to like sleeping over at his house like nostalgia yeah of that smell but i but my dad likes the smell of of tobacco too so maybe it's a genetic thing liking the smell of tobacco it just gives me a weird nostalgia even though my parents my family never smoked so i don't know but uh i just know when i turned 18 uh daniel and a bunch of our friends uh we had a just this i guess group that we all went to the same college or just we all lived in the same area blah blah blah this is probably freshman year of college maybe um you know we'd all we'd all turn 18 by then and so we'd go to the cigar i did the same thing yeah and like for i we did it multiple times like i'd get a uh a glass coke and a cigar one of the better tasting ones yeah just sit out there and just puff

puff at it well you don't inhale cigar smoke right no simply just for the taste some people inhale cigarillos just because. Yeah, those are always so nasty to me, especially like the scented ones like cherry or vanilla. Yeah. I hate that smell. Like, I remember when I was in college, my friends and I, my friend Jackson and Christian, what we'd do is at the end of every

semester, we'd get cigars and we'd just go down by these train tracks and smoke like a cigar together. And the first time I did, I didn't know you weren't supposed to like inhale. So I just inhale it. And I was like, oh, God, that had to burn. Like, dude, it felt off. It's almost like getting the breath knocked out of you.

Yeah, it just burned. And I was like, and I wanted to go brush. And I brushed my teeth two times after that. And I could still taste it. That's the worst part about smoking a cigar. It does not come out of your clothes. I didn't do it after the age of 18 just because like we all grew out of it it's like a novelty thing you do it on a celebration

or you do it because you just turned 18 I did it when I turned 18 because it's like oh well you know I kind of have to buy a lottery ticket and a cigar it's like a rite of passage but every time we go to the I guess cigar merchant or whatever it was the tobacco merchant

after a night of smoking a cigar i'd wake up and i just i'd still kind of have this taste it it'd be on me it's very thick it was i remember having to wake up for food lion in that state and that was probably those were the worst mornings having to wake up at like five or six a.m to go to work at Food Lion to deal with customers as I like just imagine waking up. Ah, oh, ew. Well, can't wait to go spend all day at Food Lion and probably take someone's shift because they want to leave early because they want to hang out with their boyfriend.

Fucking asshole. Cigars like, I don't, I like the smell of cigars, but the taste is just something completely different. And it's not a good taste. No, I just don't see the enjoyment out of it because I... It's what like dictators smoke, like Castro and stuff. Do you get a buzz from it or anything?

I don't remember getting a buzz or anything. I just remembered it's like it's the taste and just like hanging out with the boys. It's like a class thing, I guess. It's like, this is classy. Smoke a cigar. Yeah. Ryan, you know what we should do?

What? Let's, you know, from now on every podcast, let's just smoke cigars. Let's just sit. Let's bring cigars into the Grumps recording room without their permission and just light up cigars and smoke cigars the whole time. Dude, if we did that in here, this couch, this room,

probably never get that smell out. And Aaron would be so mad. Rightfully so because making that room smell like shit. My dad, one of the rules with, uh, the cars, cause eventually he found out that I was smoking cigarettes.

It's like, don't smoke in the car or else you're going to stink up the car and it's going to be harder to like sell. Yeah. Well, it's really hard to get the cigarette smell out. Like for somebody, and it stains some shit too.

You cannot get that smell out of cars. Usually it's like, usually to get the smell of cars, I think you have to change like all the seats and you have to change the, you know, the carpets and stuff. And it's gross because when you actually smoke indoors, it'll go into the walls and it's. Isn't there a picture of like someone's grandmother or something who like smoked every day? Yeah. And when she died, you could see kind of like an outline of the couch.

Yeah. I saw it on Reddit where she, she would like smoke on her laptop every day yeah she'd lean up against the wall and it was just an outline of a person because the rest of the wall was yellow and where she was was lighter because she smoked there for like 20 years just always sitting there reading or on the computer in the same spot so it was just lighter there which is really gross because that means like all that shit was just sinking into the walls so they would have to like actually remove all the wallpaper to get that smell out and probably scrub the walls so there's like two things shit was just sinking into the walls. So they would have to like actually remove all the wallpaper to get that smell out and probably scrub the walls. So there's like two things that started just making me kind of gag a little

bit after smoking for a while. Of course that would be the dry smoke. I'd always have to have something to drink, but it would, it was gross when I would get down to the end of it. I'd look at the filter. Yeah. Turn the,

you know, the filter would be yellow. It's all yellow. It's like, that's's going in your lungs and then you do that experiment with the water bottle yeah I did that once where you take you take a water bottle and you take the lid and you cut a hole in and you stick a cigarette in and you put a paper towel in between the lid and the bottle and you fill the bottle up with water and you light the cigarette like you stick it in the hole in the top and you light it and then you cut a hole in the bottom of the bottle so it sucks all

the water out which sucks the entire cigarette into the bottle and then you take it off and you thank you Ryan and then you take it off and you look at you look at the paper towel and it's just like black from all the shit that goes through so that goes in your lungs when you smoke so guys don't do that that's gross

what's going on in your lungs when you smoke. So guys, don't do that. That's gross. What's going on in your lungs? Smoke responsibly. There's such things. Smoke with an adult over the age of 18. No, actually in California, it's 21. It's 21, yeah. So guys, smoke responsibly, you know? Just do it.

Just do it. Be safe about it. Be safe about smoking cigarettes, you know? Mixing Nike's athleticism with good old tobacco. Just do it. Nike starts making cigarettes. Just do it. What if that was Dare's logo?

Like their catchphrase. Just do it. They don't, Dare doesn't exist anymore. Right? Why doesn't, does it really not exist anymore? Because it didn't work? Of course it didn't work. I think they realize that and they're like, we should change our focus more to people

drinking and doing things responsibly instead of telling them not to do it at all it's i don't think dare exists i think they got rid of it they still have the website well i don't think they teach it in schools anymore i don't think because i remember dare would come to my school it was a big thing and i remember they would come and it would be like a three-day thing where they'd show us all these videos and they you know they'd cart in the tv they wheel it in on the little cart and on the vhs player they play like a dare movie and then we'd have to write an essay about why we're never gonna do drugs or drink alcohol and uh i remember that i wonder if i can i bet i have my dare essay somewhere and we got like stickers that would say dare and uh shirts i want a dare shirt i love dare

i like i like that logo it's fun i found the logo I don't think they would show up to like my school that much because it's also like about like gang and violent behavior and just my area wasn't prone to that type of stuff oh really I I remember I think mine was just joints smoking weed and shit that's just what don area is. Don't smoke no joints, kids. But everywhere, like so many people smoke marijuana. That's the thing. Like I thought when I lived in South Carolina it would be the hardest thing to find. But it's so easy just to be like, hey, where's the weed at? Where it at though? And then they take you to an open field and then shoot you in the back of the head.

Because that's illegal. Marijuana is illegal and do not smoke it. Don't smoke marijuana. You guys learned the lesson on that story. If you try to smoke marijuana, you're going to get shot in the back of the head. Because that's illegal. Marijuana is illegal and do not smoke it. Don't smoke marijuana. You guys learned the lesson of that story. If you try to smoke marijuana you're going to get shot in the back of the head in a field. Guys, please don't smoke marijuana. It leads to getting shot in the back of the head. So I have

a question. Lay it on me, Ryan. Slap it on me. You and I have an elevator in our wonderful apartment building and you and i would be having a conversation are we walking to an elevator where someone else is having a conversation yep but when that happens and other people join in the elevator in the middle of someone else's conversation the conversation just stops yeah it's just silent it's silent all the whole ride why are why are elevators a capsule for awkwardness you know it's like it's weird because the thing

about elevators is everyone in the elevator is 100 fully aware of everyone else yeah they're silence they know yeah i bet you like probably everyone at some point in the elevator at the same time is just kind of thinking well why don't i should try and talk i should i sit now i probably shouldn't say something like those thoughts are going through their head like it's very obvious the silence that's happening like it's deliberate silence why isn't it just like hey how you doing it's like that's awkward it's awkward like you just want to

not interact you just want to shut up and get everyone just starts pulls up their phone and just looks at it even if you're just looking at a blank screen and faking to swipe I just stare at the buttons and just like look around you don't want to look at them you're just looking at a blank screen and faking to swipe, you're doing something. I just stare at the buttons and just like look around. You don't want to look at them. You're just like, hmm.

I would love to see. It's a nice elevator. I really want to put a camera in the elevator and just get a super cut of people awkwardly standing next to each other. Because think about what it is. It's multiple humans standing in a box completely ignoring each other but being fully aware of each other. But completely ignoring each other and just standing with a blank face just silently I wonder if there's an answer I'm gonna look up think about how weird that is just like that imagery how awkward

that is uh here are the reasons apparently you don't have enough room therefore you could feel a bit violated when it comes to personal space I never feel violated in an elevator usually when we meet someone for the first time we have at least an arm's length distance between us and that's not possible in most elev, causing it to be a very unnatural first contact space.

Three, no one likes being locked in a metal cube on the on the. Come on. I'm going to read this verbatim. No one likes being locked in a metal cube on the real. And it's honestly pretty creepy if you think about it on the real on the real. You heard that. Is that a BuzzFeed article? It is.

Who's this from? The Odyssey? I don't know. Oh, The Odyssey. Is it? Yeah, Odyssey. The Odyssey. Did you ever read that?

The Odyssey? Yeah. Back in school? It's that nose. Isn't that just the kind of just typical hero's journey? The hero's journey. Yeah, that was a... I was never interested in that shit at the time.

When I had to like read the Odyssey or the Iliad or... I don't know. Like I get it's a classic, but I was just like, yeah, this shit's boring. I want to learn about something more fun. Me and my ability to enjoy a book wasn't changed by appreciating old literature. Same with like old film when they show you

shit like uh a trip to the moon and stuff it's like yeah i get i get it's old and it's classic because it was like the first thing but at the same time i you know i don't really care i still think the general's pretty decent it's this old black and white film the general the like you're talking about the car commercial car insurance commercials it's a black and white i think it's a charlie chaplin no who is that that's not charlie the guy with the mustache he had the hitler mustache before hitler did it no it wasn't charlie it was charlie it was another a comedian uh raucho marx no no hold on the i'm i hate that i don't know this i'm so dumb why didn't i you fucking idiot It was Buster Keaton. I've never heard that name in my life. You've never heard Buster Keaton?

Buster Keaton? No. He's a big slapstick boy back in the black and white era. Imagine being one of those slapstick celebrities like Charlie Chaplin or Groucho Marx or Buster Keaton. It's just a funny... Did Charlie Chaplin wear eyeliner or were his eyes just naturally dark underneath?

No, they wore a lot of makeup. Yeah. I think to kind of, because I think the like exposure usually was always really high. So to add contrast. Kind of cartoon yourself up a little bit, I guess. Yeah. You got to add like thicker lines. And he had the box mustache.

He's the only other person in history, I think, that's famous that rocked the box mustache, which is Adolf Hitler's mustache, and pulled it off. And I think that, well, it's also because that was before Hitler rose to power. If Hitler had a fucking mutton chops, if it was just mutton chops, would he ruin mutton chops? No. How come this small mustache was ruined? Why was that mustache? If he had any other type of facial hair, it wouldn't have been ruined.

Because I think that was not a common common mustache like where mutton chops has been common forever that wasn't like a box mustache i don't think well it might have been common but it wasn't popular like widespread popular i don't think because you know that took a lot of tending to to keep it that shape i think that was a very unique facial hair thing like people did it but it wasn't huge that's why charlie chaplin is famous for it too because i don't think it was very widespread at the time so then when he came around and okay imagine if a dictator came to power and their mustache was like a perfect perfect rectangle like that or a triangle yeah like a little triangle that they'd be known upside down triangle yeah you know they'd be known for that because that's you know it's so uh what's symbolic because it's just them

it's very when you see that you think of them because hitler was so famous at the time that mustache was like associated with him so he ruined that for everyone but i mean it wasn't a good mustache to begin with it just looks kind of of weird. Yeah. You know, what about, have we had a dictator that had a pencil-thin mustache? No. Those look... Maybe, I don't know. You know who's got that pencil-thin mustache? It's Pico Taro. He's the guy that made

the pin pineapple apple pin thing. He's got that goofy little drawn-on mustache. Oh, yeah. It's like a... It just, like, hangs on to the top of his lip. It's like a single pencil line. It looks like the eyebrows people draw on themselves yeah man have you ever we saw that guy i was talking about this last night with my dad we saw that guy one time in glendale who had a legitimate 100% unibrow yep it didn't even dip down to like 95% in the middle it went full 100 all the way through okay solid black line all the way across. Why is it seen

as unattractive to have a unibrow? Didn't it used to be an attractive thing? For women? Or was it never an attractive thing? I thought way back when, having a unibrow was like... You know how being skinny

wasn't that attractive a long time ago, and it was being heavier was seen as a sign of being rich and more... I think what it is is I think the unibrow, like, calls back to, like, a Neanderthalic era. Like, it kind of looks like very unkept, kind of, like, uncivilized look, maybe? Like, back to, like, caveman look? Because when they draw cavemen, they draw them with unibrows. Yeah. So I think it kind of goes back to that period.

And it's a bunch of extra hair on your face. So I think that it's kind of just seen as like primal. I don't know. See, I was right. Yeah. Ancient Greek and Roman cultures, unibrow were prized as beautiful. Hmm. I wonder why that changed.

I wonder what that shift was. What was the social shift that made it unattractive? was what was the social shift that made it unattractive do you think it was a part of the whole kind of armpit hair leg hair thing where women shave where it's like less body hair the better the more clean i guess the maybe yeah like unibrow like if i see a dude with a unibrow i kind of automatically assume he's not that clean just there are people with unibrows listening like they're that's their they don't have to keep the unibrow. That's their choice. They don't have to shave the unibrow.

Well, then that's their choice. I'm just saying that's what by like society kind of things. That's what you've grown to kind of like accustom it with. Just kind of like a. For me, it more accustomed. It's more accustomed to just social unawareness. Because I have a feeling. Well, when you make yourself up you don't

do it for yourself you do it for other people yeah so when you don't do it it shows that i guess you don't care you know about what other people think about you in a sense or it just shows that you're just not socially aware of that aspect of physicality that you're just kind of like you know this people don't mind this well like think about this in movies and cartoons when they draw someone like really ugly they give them a unibrow hell well helga pataki yeah helga pataki from hey arnold yep she had a famous unibrow she was she had a very famous unibrow like but when they draw when they do caricatures of people to make them ugly they usually give them a unibrow yeah so it's kind of like seen as the i don't know it has become at least in modern society like a

one of those things that's like seen as ugly you know and if you're listening to this and you got a unibrow all the love to you in the world you do whatever you want to do you do you unibrow I'm sure there are people on here I'm not talking like excessive back hair

I don't care about excessive back hair that puffs out of the back of their t-shirt neck. Curls around and starts fraying out. It looks like a lion's mane. When you can see the hair coming out of the shirt. That's always a little... I have those stray back hairs. Do you ever have those?

I just don't grow body hair, really. Really? I have black, kind of just stray hairs on my back just pluck them every now and then i knew a guy once the short little guy he would he was like the hairiest dude in the world and i it was gross to me yeah like it like come out of the collar of his shirt like barry's got some hair on him barry barry hairy barry let's bring him in here seen barry's torso i have never seen barry without a shirt on can we bring him in here. Have you never seen Barry's torso? I have never seen Barry without a shirt on. Can we bring him in and have him take his shirt off? Well, that's kind of demoralizing,

isn't it? No. Barry, come in here. Now take off your shirt. No, I just want to see if he's hairy. I want to see what you're talking about. Yeah? I'm not saying hairy is unattractive. I just want to see Barry Because he's hairier than I am. I want to see hairy Barry. Do you believe that he's hairier than I am? Yeah, I can see that.

For Barry, for some reason. I don't know. I can see that. He seems like a hairy... Am I like a hairy hairy person? Very, yeah. Is that like very hairy? Yeah, that's very hairy. Is that seen as very? As opposed to this? I got like no hair on my body. Yeah. I'm like, it looks like I just got waxed. I just got like tar and feathered and I just cleaned

all the tar off of me. Because my body hair isn't like coarse and kind of dark. I don't know. Some people just don't grow like a lot of hair on their body. I got leg hair. I don't got a lot of hair

on like my chest or anything. I got no hair on my chest actually. Is it because you were castrated when you were young? No, Ryan, don't stop. Don't bring that up.

Do not bring that up on the podcast. I'm sorry. You better cut this out. I will. Okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, good old

now we all know Barry's hairy. Hairy old Barry. Ha ha. Glad he got his wee back. Yep. I will. Okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, good old, now we all know Barry's hairy. Hairy old Barry! Haha! Glad he got his wee back. Yep. Thank God. Aaron, how dare you. Aaron, you fucking piece of shit. Whoa, dude. Sorry.

I'm sorry. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Dude, dude, I wanna go back to Japan. Why? Cause it was fun as hell. I wanna go. Yeah, come with me, dude fun as hell. I want to go. Come with me, dude. I will. I want to go with a group of people. Sounds like a lot of fun. Anyone listening to this want to go, just shoot me an email and let's go. Just kidding. Don't do that.

I'm going to look up the top five funny questions to ask someone. I'm going to ask you them. The top five funny questions to ask. I'm excited for this one to ask. Alright, guys. Prepare prepare try not to laugh too hard at these these are nothing really came up with funny oh yeah here we go funny questions to ask someone guys a friend someone i'm a guy and a friend and someone so okay uh have you ever

gone cow tipping sorry that one's funny no i have not gone cow tipping? Sorry, that one's funny. No, I have not gone cow tipping because that's pushing over fucking live animals. Okay. It's mean. But that was pretty funny. Do you think people should eat the fish they catch or just let them go? These aren't funny questions. It says, funny questions to ask people, guys, a friend, someone.

Do you think people should eat the fish they catch? Okay, how about another funny question? All right. This is funny questions to ask someone interesting. And you're an interesting person. Thanks, Ryan. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? When do I put butter and peanut butter on the same piece of bread

okay fine I'll look up another question well I put butter on before I put the jelly on cause butter like it's smooth and it melts and then you put the jelly on top I don't dip the knife back into the jelly though if it has butter on it cause then you're gonna get butter in the jelly

and then that shit's gonna get all nasty do you shampoo first in the shower or do you soap first in the shower these are some funny questions dude I'm imagining someone asking this question laughing their ass off I shampoo

it doesn't matter it's just whatever I grab first in the shower I do both probably 50-50 this morning I shampooed first the shower I do both probably 50-50 Okay I'm gonna This morning I shampooed first and then I did body wash And then I did face wash I do three things A shampoo, a body wash, and a face wash Okay that's good

Here's a I'm gonna look up Okay how about this I looked up 30 of the hardest No 50 funny. Come on, Ryan. I need some funny questions. Okay, seven questions that are very hard to answer.

Okay. Okay, you ready? This is from Pinterest. Question one. Question one. What about abortion in the case of? Oh, God. Okay, here we go.

Would you die for anything or anyone? What? Yeah, there's people Would you die for anything or anyone? What? Would I die? Yeah, there's people I would die for. Okay. Now I gotta press the continue button because this isn't like a big page thing. People I love, yeah. What's going on?

These aren't things. What's going on? I think I fucked up. Something's wrong. I would hate having to put that guilt on them like, Oh, he died for me. It could have been me. What is this site?

It's just a bunch of ads it looks like it looks like you're reading through an iMessage chat with a bunch of shit thrown into it that's that's the question but then give me some more questions i press continue okay what is the meaning of life what what kind i don't know okay that was a tough question that is a tough question but it's like, no one knows that. I guess the meaning of life is, maybe it doesn't have a meaning. Just be, live your life to be as happy as you can and make other people happy and be nice to other people. Okay.

There you go. That's the best answer I can give you. Make others happy, make yourself happy, and don't be an asshole. Okay. Make life worth living. Give me another one an asshole. Okay. Make life worth living. Give me another one, Ryan. Okay. Benjamin buys five apples.

If he gives three of them to Suzanne Collins... Are you making this up? Is this really one of the questions? If he gives three of them to Suzanne Collins, how many apples does he have left? That's not on there, Ryan. You're making that up. He has two apples, man. He has two apples,

man. It's not a hard question. It's two apples. I figured it out. Okay. Here's another hard hitting. Here's another hard question to answer. In what funny SpongeBob episode did Pat,

you're making this shit. Give me the real question. There is no real question. They're all shitty. Like questions about relationships. There are many times in a relationship that questions that are very hard to answer beforehand come up. Different people will believe in different courses of action, but ultimately those who are in the relationship have to make their own choices and decisions. That's not a question.

Let's give relationship advice then. Okay. No, no. Let's go to our relationship advice. Read the people's thing and actually give them advice. Okay. Let's go to r slash relationships and what's the top post? Is it relationships or relationship advice?

No, it's relationships. R slash relationships. Yeah, yeah. Here's one. My boyfriend, a 24-year-old male, insists on hand-washing my, a 19-year-old female's, bras and panties himself. Hey, my BF and I have been dating for four months now. We've known each other for longer.

We are currently living together. It is temporary, blah, blah, blah. I asked him why he was washing my underwear at 7 in the morning, and he said, it's okay, just go back to sleep. Later in the day, I told him that what he did was sweet, but I'd really prefer washing my own underwear. He was like, what's the big deal? You're my girlfriend. Yesterday afternoon, I came home home and he was doing it. I don't want to do this.

This is, I just, I'm bored of this. Well, Ryan, what's your opinion on this subject? This person has no idea that we're reading their relationship advice from Reddit to an audience of tens of thousands. So what do you think about this boyfriend that's been washing his girlfriend the four-month panties at 7 in the morning before she wakes up? I will admit that's a bit strange. And she said, what are you doing? He said, go back to bed? This is like one of those times where after a certain event, she'll go, I just should have seen it coming.

The signs were there. I just didn't pay attention. I was washing my bras and panties with the colander in the sink. it coming there the signs were there i just didn't pay attention my bras and panties with the colander and the sink like her friends would be like you know something was off about him but we tried to tell her but you know she just that is that is something off and maybe that person is listening to this podcast and maybe she's fucking shitting her pants right now like what the fuck you know hey yeah okay so well maybe okay if he's getting some sort of sexual pleasure out of it then maybe that's it's okay i guess that's where you got to find the defining.

There's, there's two different options you can do. If he's doing this to get some sort of sexual satisfaction, then maybe that's a little weird. Wait, there's an update. They actually solved it. I think.

Oh, they solved it. They said update. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Okay. My boyfriend found my Reddit post about what I was talking about.

Update. Sorry for not responding. I was at work. So basically I confronted my boyfriend again and he admitted that he jacks off into my panties and then washes them. I knew it. Okay, there we go. I was a bit grossed out, frankly, and told him

nicely to stop. His response was, what's the problem with it if I wash it afterwards? Oh, no. Come on, dude. It's like nothing happened. Oh, dude, come on. It's making it seem like I'm the weird unreasonable. What? You don't jerk off into someone's... Like, how would he like it if his, like, dad came in, like, came on and was like, dad, my underpants are crusty. Yeah, I've been, I've been jerking off into them.

Don't worry. I'm going to wash them. I'm going to wash them. Well, okay. Here's the thing. It's like, if the girlfriend doesn't like it and she said, don't do that, he shouldn't fight against that. That's her underwear.

Like, she's politely, she's politely just insinuating. Please don don't do that please don't masturbate into my underwear that what's the problem i wash them for you afterwards not the point it's like a personal space thing it's like i for instance it wouldn't matter if you washed my clothes and like you were like yeah i'll just yeah ryan i just jerk off into your t-shirt ryan i'm sorry dude i've been blowing my nose in your shirt i know dude what's the big deal what's the big deal? What's the big deal? I wash it. Why are you acting so weird? Yeah, whoever this girl is, you need to...

Wait, Vernon. Vernon. Wait, what's the username? Daddy Vernon? It's Vernon. Hey. Oh, hey, Vernon. Vernon, we have a question.

Vernon, wait. Was Vernon out? Did you see Vernon out there? Yeah. Was that just a strange... Oh, okay. I thought it was just a strange coincidence. So we've been reading...

We read a post on our relationships. Here we go. And so there was a post that says, basically this girl's trying to figure out if she's the weird one in this situation. So she's recently found out that her boyfriend

of four months, she found out that he's been masturbating into her underwear and then hand washing them afterwards okay and she's wondering if it's weird for her to be kind of upset well she said she said don't she said please don't do that he said what's the problem i'm washing them okay okay are you guys on opposite ends of this like no no we're i think we're in agreeance of saying like well if she she asked not to and he shouldn't be fighting that. We took it to the extent of, like,

picture this, Vernon. Picture if I told you, like, if you're wearing underwear right now and I'm like, oh, wow, Vernon, I masturbated into those a week ago. And you're like, what? I'm like, don't worry. I washed them. I hand-washed them afterwards. Yeah, I hand-washed them. It would still be weird. Like, it's not like, oh, I washed the cum out of your underwear. I think

that relationships are a system of boundaries okay right and and relationships are like they vary relation no relationship is the same all right i think there's value in saying hey uh don't come in this and or wash it afterwards, which I admittedly isn't the worst outcome, but if someone in the relationship says, hey, don't come on my things and wash them afterwards, I, as the other

person in the relationship, would say, like, yeah, okay. Yeah, like, I respect that boundary that you've built. What would you do if, like you walked in the room and if you had a girlfriend at the time, I guess, she has like your underwear on like two poles so it's like up there and she's had her legs spread in front of it and she squirts into your underwear. Well, I don't have a problem with that.

Okay. Is it a guy-girl thing? Do you think it would be weirder? Do you think it's weirder for a guy to come into a girl's underwear than a girl to squirt into a guy's underwear? Wow, these are conversations. These are hard-hitting ones we have an hour into the podcast. First of all, I have to be here. I'm happy to go on record in terms of how I feel about jizz in underwear.

Sorry, foreign. Foreign cum. Foreign cum, not your own. Not your own. Like foreigners cum. I think I would be okay with it if we had a conversation beforehand about the things

that we want well we are having a conversation right now would it be okay come in my underwear Matt alright I can do that also quick side note I read our relationship sometimes too apparently there is a person who was asking her boyfriend knows

that she's afraid of spiders that she has panic attacks when there's spiders uh present and she his her boyfriend had friends over and she was with them and her boyfriend grabs a jar of spiders and pours it on her fuck how why do you have a jar of spiders where pours it on her. Fuck, why do you have a jar of spiders? Where did that come from? There's so many questions. How do you get a jar of spiders? I have so many questions. You attract them. You come into panties and that attracts the spiders.

That does attract spiders, right? Essentially, she was asking if she was rightful in being mad about that. Why, girl, like, do a lot of, okay, this is going to sound weird, but do a lot of, okay, this is gonna sound weird, but do a lot of women have trouble with boundaries? Like, it seems like when a guy obviously is going over the line in our,

I'm talking mainly about our relationships because I see those types of posts a lot. It's like, my boyfriend cut the head off my cat. Am I being a bit too pushy

by saying that was too far? No. What the fuck? You were being the exact right amount of pushy. Like, you just found out that your boyfriend of four months is hiding the fact that he's coming into your underwear and then waking up at six in the morning

to hand wash them. Everybody's like, what's the big deal? It's only your clothes I'm coming on. That is not a normal situation people find themselves in. Anyways, we don't want to kink shame, but we'd also like to thank you. Communication. Communication.

Communicate what you want in a relationship. But thank you for giving your insight on this. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I want you all to know that this happened specifically because I leaned into the engineering window and just made the blowjob sign with my mouth to say hi to the guys. Yeah, and that got my attention. just like made the blowjob sign with my mouth.

Oh, I didn't even see you guys. Yeah, and that got my attention. You know how quick I am to... Vernon, Vernon. ...to avert my gaze towards a blowing young man. Good old Vernon. We haven't... We had you on episode three or four. Oh, shit.

That was 35 episodes ago, Vernon. So welcome back. Yeah, if you guys ever want to bring me on for a full episode rather than just me... All right, well, take care, guys. Bye. I see you, Vernon. See you.

You have a good luck. Goodbye. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Bye. Bye. See you, Vernon. See you. You have a good luck. Goodbye. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you give us, before you go, can you yell any insider info on anything that's going on in the Grump office that people haven't been able to hear of? Yeah, I'm tired all the time.

That's not insider info. All right, Vernon has cancer, everyone. All right, there it is. That was him crying. He wasn't laughing he was crying I'm gonna burst into tears I'm gonna wait that reddit post There's gonna be like update number 3 tomorrow So apparently two guys with a podcast

Two guys with a Minecraft podcast Two guys that have played Roblox on YouTube Went and talked about this Club Penguin and Roblox And YouTube went and talked about this. It's called Penguin and Roblox. And Firefighter Simulator for the Wii. They went on and talked about this on their podcast. So my boyfriend and I have broken up ever since now that our dirty laundry, no pun intended, has been aired to the world. Did you come up with that and you were waiting to use it?

No, no, no. That was on the spot. I didn't even think about that. Well, I mean, I'm in this position because I'm kind of in that uncomfortable state. You're ready because we've been sitting on the couch for over, like, you're ready to end it? I think that pun was a great way to end the podcast, Ryan. Dirty Laundry. Air the Dirty Laundry.

That's a good one. That is a good pun. We can even name this podcast Dirty Laundry. We will. Okay, that's a great name. That'll be the title. Perfect. Dirty Laundry.

All right, guys. Or we can title it Dirty Grandpa so we can put Dirty Grandpa in the tags. It was called Bad Grandpa, not Dirty Grandpa. There was Dirty Grandpa. There wasn it Dirty Grandpa, so we can put Dirty Grandpa in the tags. It was called Bad Grandpa, not Dirty Grandpa. There was Dirty Grandpa. There wasn't Dirty Grandpa. With Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro and Zac Efron. Zac Efron.

Yeah. And Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Mintz. Man, you know it, dude. Did you see that movie? No, I just know shit about when it comes to movies and all that they have folks just know shit well uh thank you for tuning in to episode 39 next episode is 40 that's a big one we got weird on

this one we talked about some new things so love you guys so much catching on iTunes on Saturday catching on YouTube on Thursday or if we forget to upload it to iTunes catching on iTunes sometime later and make sure you bug us about it on our subreddit and our Twitter all the time we really like that thank you guys bye