supermegashow - EP 42 - The Pitch (ft. Oney, Ross, & Julian)

Episode Date: May 6, 2017

The Boss Baby came to us in this episode of SuperMegaCast with Oney, Julian, and Ross. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit ConnectsOntario.ca. Hey y'all, welcome to the little boys' room. Got a couple guests. Who are they? Who are they, Matt? Or should they introduce themselves? Well, I wanted them to introduce themselves. And now they're singing a song.

Are they going to introduce themselves in song? That's the pixel 8-bit song you do. We don't need the song this time. It's just Julian doing it. I was doing the hi-hat. We got Julian, we got Chris, and we got Ross, and Mother Teresa. She's not here.

She's here in spirit. Her soul is here. I don't want that bitch here. Christ let her out for a day to come. Get her out with a bodyguard for this. Let her out. She let people die. They're sick. God will help you.

As they're throwing up blood and pus. She used her broom to sweep them out. She'd fly around on that thing Heresy Hey everybody it's Julian and Chris And Rostifer There we go introducing them again in case you forgot Chris

Hey Julian Ryan McGee Matt The water bottle that Ryan's got. I have... I got a... Ross has a water bottle. Ryan has a...

You're not Ryan. I'm holding an Xbox controller. Other Ryan. Are you playing a game? No. Am I other Ryan now? Yeah. Other Ryan.

Other Ryan. Ryan, what did you want to talk about today? Yeah, why are we here? I wanted to talk about how... Children? Yeah, children. Let's talk about how... Children? Yeah, children. Let's talk about kids. Do you want them? No. They're delicious. I'm married and I don't want them. Me and Holly both said

that if it ever gets to the point that we're just like, man, I really want a kid who's gonna fucking look after us when we're old. I don't know, just adopt a Korean kid who's good at math. Why don't you just hire someone to do that? Like a hospice nurse. The kid's gonna, like, you know... Love you? I can give him my Xbox when I die, you know? who's good at math. Why don't you just hire someone to do that? Like a hospice nurse.

The kid's going to, you know... I can give him my Xbox when I die. You can do that to him. That's going to save the kid from mourning your death. My dad died, but at least he gave me his Xbox. Look, in the year 2050, he'll have my Switch also. He can play Mario Kart. Whatever.

He can't because everything will be shut down by then. There won't be any servers left. Oh, that's so true. Ryan, how would you feel if your parents passed away and the only thing in their will was a Nintendo Wii? That's the only console I sold back. Like, I'm serious. I played Rock Band on it and a few of the Rabbid games, and I was like, okay, this is essentially what the Wii is made for. A few of the Rabbid games.

It is a shit console. And then I bought an Xbox 360 in place of it. Yeah, well, yeah. The Xbox 360 was actually surprising. They had a lot of good titles on the Xbox 360. Yeah, you're right. It did. Name five great titles for the Wii. Great. Wii Sports?

Epic Mickey? Mario Galaxy. Mario Galaxy? That was on the Wii, right? Yeah, 1 and 2, but that counts as 1. Okay, Animal Crossing was on the Wii, right? Yeah, one and two, but that counts as one. Okay, Animal Crossing was on the Wii? That was a good title, yeah. Okay, two. No, it was on the Wii. It was on the Wii?

Okay, what am I... Oh, fuck. Mr. Rooster first flip-flopped the adventure. Yep, that's another one. Good job, yes. Yeah, that's my favorite. Shit, that's a good question. Elebits?

Twilight Princess? Club Penguin? Okay, maybe I was wrong about the Wii. Maybe it's not as... shit that's a good question Elebits Twilight Princess maybe okay maybe I was wrong about the Wii maybe it's not as it's not it just didn't have a lot it had a few good games

Wii Sports yeah that's what I said I remember it for a lot of shovelware yeah like every shitty game was made for the Wii for some reason well we have a whole

kind of like thing on the channel where we play shitty Wii games because it's like that's the console where the shittier games shine. And it was the easiest to hook up to the recording software. No, we did it because

it was funny. Who's because I like doing it? I do it because I enjoy it. So how does everyone love doing video games for a living? Thumbs up? I don't have to anymore. I got doodle doots. Fuck you, Ross. I got both. Technically, I've been doing Doots. Fuck you, Ross. I got both. Technically,

I've been doing it on Holly's channel, but Holly hasn't really been feeling that confident lately because now her Patreon for her art is now making more money than her YouTube channel. Thanks, YouTube. Very fun. That's awesome. Patreon's becoming more and more popular. What's that? Patreon's becoming a more and more popular

thing. You know how there was the wave of Kickstarter? There's a wave of Patreon now but like do you think do you feel like the products from patreon are better than the kickstarter stuff well let me i actually have an insight on this so the thing about patreon is it the individual is responsible but on kickstarter if a project fails tough fucking cookies you don't get a refund you know it's like what happened with that yogscast game i don't know if remember that, like a few years back where they're like, we're going to make a Minecraft clone and then it failed.

And so here's a key to a game you guys probably already have and everyone was like really pissed. So I think that put a lot of, like left people with a very little faith in like Kickstarters and stuff, which is kind of a shame. And there's a lot of people

who have investors for projects and then they're taking it to Kickstarter and then getting, making it. So, okay, so let's say you're developing a game, right? And you need every single dollar. What game am I developing? What's up? What game am I developing?

I don't know. What game do you want to develop? It's an RTS. Okay. I was about Julian. About me. It's an RTS where you control Julians. Yeah.

Many, many Julians. A bunch of Jul and you're you're you're just that's all you do you fight are there are there are there different types of Julian it doesn't matter all right so let's say let's say you want to do a Kickstarter for clan of Julian's right so it fails miserable so

let's say everyone really is excited about Clan of Julians but there was this game before called I don't know like Clan of Ding Dongs right? And Clan of Ding Dongs was really really popular but Clan of Ding Dongs had investors so the money they were requesting for

Kickstarter was sufficiently less because they didn't need all the Kickstarter money they were more so using it for as a promotional tool, like as like a promotional platform. So when games that come out, they're purely looking for funding the entire thing through Patreon. They ask for a lot more money. But when people see that, like the average Joe, they just go, oh, well, that game didn't ask for that much money.

It's like, yeah, because they had fucking investors, you idiot. Yeah. So I think that's a big problem, and of course, fulfillment. But with Patreon, it's just the individual who's responsible. So I don't know. I feel like maybe we're not going to have any disaster cases with that. Speaking from the creator side of things, I think it's probably just more motivating anyway,

because then you have... When you do a Kickstarterstarter you're like oh i here i raised fifty thousand dollars that's enough for me to be for me to make the game right but then you like run out of resources or something at least from patreon you can you know it's a constant yeah a lot of horror stories where people run out of like uh funding and they just have to stop and it's like sorry yep here's some screenshots from what would have been it's over there was actually like I remember reading this story on like Polygon about like there was like a

furry game that got like shut down on Patreon because it was called Clash of Julians dude it's very funny haha it was it was that was actually sincere I was not being i was not being so yeah there's this game that got shut down i don't know what it was called but i guess like

one of the programmers like bailed and like took all the assets and then they had to tell all their patrons like yeah the game's not coming out and they had like something like something crazy like $20,000 to $30,000 a month coming in for this game. Holy shit. Yeah. And all they were doing was posting progress. So there's more people now who are using Patreon instead of like Kickstarter I guess. So I don't know. It's interesting.

How fucking epic would a diggy diggy hole Yogscast be? I was gonna say that earlier. I was gonna say I wanted to play that at your funeral. A diggy diggy hole. Yeah, the YuggCast song. I wonder what my parents would do, like their tear, you know, they have tears down their face and you go up to give a eulogy and you just start

playing diggy diggy hole at my funeral. Is this at the like, the wake or is this like as you're being lowered into the ground? This is as I'm being lowered into the ground. Because there's a hole. What if that was like the end credits song of the next Marvel movie? Like Guardians of the Galaxy 2. galaxy to do like a bagpipe cover of that for funerals Want a creeper coffin? That would look really funny. Yeah, it would easily fit a human in it. Yeah easily. Yeah, well, what if that's what creepers are?

Constantly in court corpses and coffin every there's a little boy in every creeper a dead little boy that's my next game theory video there's a dead little boy in front of every computer playing Minecraft he'd find a way to make that work though

there's a dead little boy in every creeper if you look at the face he's sad just like little boys are when I see them did I tell you whenever

I have a story I actually did this did happen so one year Brent was like you should do YouTube rewind I was like I have a story. I actually did. This did happen. So one year, Brent was like, you should do YouTube Rewind. I was like, Brent, I really don't want to do YouTube Rewind. And he's just like, yeah, just do it. I was like, all right.

So I was the only member of Game Grumps who went to YouTube Rewind. And I didn't like it. Were you in the Five Nights at Freddy's thing? Yeah, yeah. I was like a background prop. You were a background dancer in the Five nights at freddy's musical for youtube i was in it for like maybe i was there for like 10 hours or something it felt like and i was in it for like 1.5 seconds and uh basically i just remember um oh god i'm getting sidetracked but um it what were we talking about before we're talking about you starring in five nightsights at Freddy's YouTube.

No, there was a point to it. It was leading back to something we were just talking about. We were talking about Creeper Coffins. Oh, yeah, MatPat. That's right. So MatPat was there, and we were waiting between takes, and I just said to MatPat, just being sarcastic, I was like, hey, MatPat, what if the Halo energy sword

could clash with the lightsaber and then he just went hmm and then two months later that was a fucking video and and i told gerard about it um the completionist and he's like oh yeah matpat didn't write that and i'm just like suspicious i've still never talked to matt pat about it well can an energy sword clash with a lightsaber i apparently it could actually wait you're watching i didn't watch it at least i watched the start of it i think it's because because it's plasma so plasma i don't know super fucking i don't know dude i'm cares who cares it's never gonna happen luke skywalker's not gonna halo fictional material! Fictional material.

Those videos are made for, like, the kids online, like in Xbox Live, where randomly they'll just go, well, at least this is stronger than a lightsaber, so. Did you see MatPat's new video? Stronger than a lightsaber. Yeah. You're right! Also, I fucked your mom. It's like those, it's like, it's made for those people that like to bring up facts,

you know, a lot, but those facts aren't really based in anything but speculation. I saw this in a video someone else wrote, so I'm pretty smart. That's how people treat a lot of movie reviews. I see a lot of, on our movies or whatever, a lot of... I'm getting really sick of people being like, just quoting Red Letter Media. Exactly, that's what I was about to say. Too many people do that specifically with them.

They do have good opinions, but you have to realize that they're their opinions. They can have their own. They're great, but word for word, everyone does it. I hate it. They get drunk. Isn't that they're half in the bag? They get drunk and just talk about movies. I don't think they're actually drunk.

Are they? Yeah. I'm pretty sure they're actually drunk. They're drinking and they slur, and then their faces get red. Mike is always throwing his bottle. Oh, that's true. Their faces get red. They're down, they have strokes. They piss themselves. You remember the

episode where they went to the... They get alcohol poisoning? Yeah, they went to the ER with them. One of them falls asleep and starts throwing up and it fills up his throat. He chokes on his puke in his sleep before the funeral. Yeah, and they lower him down. Is this all in one review? They have to turn tragedy into entertainment.

It's for the Ghostbusters reboot. And then the next episode, Mike's back as a green guy. He's puppeteering. Oh my god! Are they gonna... Do you think they're gonna make a sequel to the Ghostbusters reboot? Or was it too much of a flop? They're not, they're not, no.

I don't assume so. Paul Feig is still mad about it. The only way I can see them doing that is Paul Feig, whatever, how you pronounce it. Paul Feig, what did you say? I didn't say that. Paul Feig. Fucking Feig. Whatever his name is.

Do you think he actually believes that what he did was right, or do you think it's cynical and he's just pretending? He's crazy. There's videos of him being like men are fucking stupid women are funny men are not he's like

he's just an asshole I never saw that film it's awful I've heard it we all saw it together in theaters that's the first time I ever met

Julian in Ding Dong we were there and it was really uncomfortable Matt doesn't Amy Schumer look like Elmer Fudd a little bit she's kind of like

yes I thought I saw a joke here somewhere Matt, doesn't Amy Schumer look like Elmer Fudd a little bit? She's kind of like, yes. I thought I saw a joke here somewhere. Shh. Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting jokes. Be very quiet. She can't see me because I'm a joke. Jokes aren't real.

That was good my sister asked me she was like do you like Amy Schumer and I was like no and she was like why I don't think she's funny

and she was like you just don't get girl humor and I'm like it's not girl humor there's no such thing as fucking I don't think she's funny

genderful humor that's not a thing there's funny female humor there's funny I don't my fucking problem is not with the

fact that it's ladies that has nothing to do with it it's just not funny jokes why stupid humor is subjective i'm julian i hate you know i i think i laughed more than you guys did well i think one of the main problems with um amy schumer is that she delegates a lot of her humor to just female centric stuff and like yes male comedians that too, but they also go very general and they can bring in everyone to kind of have that like, oh, I do that too. And humor in and of itself is very relatable and gets you to recognize things. And when Amy Schumer throughout her whole special kind of only delegates that to one demographic, I think it makes her fall flat as an overall comedian to a mass audience. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home,

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your home you can do this when you angie that download the free angie mobile app today or visit angie.com that's a-n-g-i.com there's a lot of comedians that will take stuff that you know might be subject matter to uh you know women and then make it a part of their routine. And it still plays out just as well. Well, because they play to a general crowd. If the joke is my vagina stinks because vaginas are gross, then it's not going to really sell well. Hold on. Is that a real joke she did or is that?

Yeah. She's like, my pussy smells like a whatever. It's just her vagina stinks. Really? Because it's sweating in my jeans all day or whatever. My vagina stinks because I don't wash i've never understood can you guys we have four guys four guys besides me in this room because i'm a guy as well i have a penis so we have five guys in the room julie can you explain to me what it i always hear it described like oh there's a pool of water

in my in my underwear i don't have a vagina i don't know no i fucking louis ck had a bit like there's i hear that from different people they're like oh water sits in my underwear what what what does that mean that doesn't happen that doesn't happen to me it's because the jokes are so funny they become wet and are attracted to i see i see instantly wait wait julian is this like something women say or no men i hear men people say like, around my ass crack there's a lot of water. It's because they don't wipe. My ass does sweat. I don't get fucking pools of water.

I do. I do too. It might be because we're skinny or something. Well, no, actually... Yeah, sometimes I'll get swamp ass so bad that you can see it through my pants. One time I went out to dinner with my girlfriend at the time's parents and I was wearing shorts and I was nervous and it gave me swamp ass. And when I stood up, there was just a big wet spot on my ass.

And I tried my best to walk behind everyone when we left the restaurant because I didn't want them to see that I had shit myself. As a man who's like three times as big as you, shouldn't I have more sweat? I think it's because Ross and I have smaller, bare-boned asses. So it's easier. I don't know, dude. I don't know. You come from the desert, Julian. I don't come from the desert.

I come from the jungle. No, you don't. I come from the big stone pyramids. I tossed little men down the stairs. Dude, that's my favorite Fucking leveling clan of Julian So I remember Every year I went to comic con

I used to go I don't go anymore But I would have to bring Because the first year I got like Ass chafes so bad that it like hurt And I didn't want to walk around Did you shave your ass is that why No just fucking swamp ass combined With, I guess, a rash forming. Swamp ass will give you a rash.

Yeah, exactly. You get jock itch on your ass. Yeah, yeah. So what I started doing is every Comic-Con, I would bring the powder. And I powder my asshole. And then that would let me go to... Lay you down in baby powder. I used to sprinkle it like the guys sprinkling like salt on the, yeah, no, yeah.

And so like I started doing that and Comic-Con became a lot more enjoyable for me. I used to go to the beach and get like rashes because of the salt water in the netting of the bathing suits. Oh, that sucks. And to fix it, my stepdad would hand me a Budweiser and tell me to put it in my swim shorts as that would fix the problem.

It's because you see that, he just gave me a can of beer and just put that in. The alcohol kills fix the problem. It's because you see that. He just gave me a can of beer. The alcohol, the alcohol kills all the bacteria. Wait, really? I think he just wanted it. I'm being silly.

I think he just wanted me to warm it up for him. Did you guys warm it up? Here's son, put this between your thighs and warm my beer. Who wants my lips? We'll touch it later. Did you guys ever like go to the beach and get like, like gross,

like salty nipples that hurt? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't think so. Because they're swimming in the ocean sometimes, and then my nipples start to sting because all the salt water. Yeah. Isn't that a thing?

Well, I would get that, and I would be surfing, too, and then my nipples would change. Happens to me all the time. Why did you both look at me for? I don't know. Because you have the biggest nipples. I got normal nipples. Show me your nipples. Normal nipples.

Julian's got the biggest nipples. I probably do. They're pretty big nipples. They're fucking normal. Let me see. I have three nipples. They're the exact same size as Matt's, except my titty fat is bigger. See that nipple? I have more titty fat than you, Chris. That's not fair. It feels like a real breast. You guys tell me. Holy shit, that is a huge

nipple. Whoa! Julian. Damn. Whoa! Julian. Julian. Damn. Julian. Listen, guys fucking love it. It's fucking amazing. They do.

Okay. See this? See this? That is a third nipple. My cousin has a third nipple as well. It's an undeveloped nipple tissue. Can I touch it? Yeah, sure.

So what happened is my grandfather and my dad both had the same birthmark, and my grandfather, who was a scientist, he tested the tissue to see what it was. It's nipple tissue. Actually, so to tell if you have extra nipples, basically take your nipples and then draw two lines from your nipples connecting to your crotch. And then if you have anything that looks like a freckle going down those lines, that's where the nipples will be. Whoa. Right? It's on that line.

Yeah, it's on that line. Holy shit. Now I see. I have five of them. I'm like a piggy. Look at that. One, two. Who has a third nipple?

Jennifer Lawrence? Not Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lopez. Some big celebrity has a third nipple. Like some woman. Weird Al Yankovic? No. Rossa Donovan?

Brad Pitt? I have a third nipple. Weird Al Yankovic is a woman. But I am to eat cheese. He's a man. That's Weird Al. That's my- Cheese!

Ryan's giving me looks. That was a good impression, Julian. Sounded just like him. Oh! I like the part where Julian showed us his nipple. It was huge! Thank you. You have big areolas, that's what it is.

I think the nub itself is pretty big. Can I see again? Yeah. Yeah, no man, Jesus Christ, that's huge. Jesus. What's? Yeah. Yeah, no, man. Jesus Christ. That's huge. Jesus. What's with the Jesus Christ? It's like, Jesus Christ! Oh my God! Dear God! Listen, it's not the first time

I've heard it. Like, NASA guys in a control room, they see that on the screen. Jesus Christ! And they all just start clapping. No. Damn. I love it. That nub is bigger than mine. Excellent. Hmm.

God, Julian, that's the name of the episode, Julian's Big Ass Nips. It's a thing. Everybody knows me has seen them. They know you for your nipples? They fucking stick through my shirt. Your areolas. Even if I'm wearing a jacket. Your areolas take up your entire breast.

My leather jacket has little bumps. You'd do well in a wet t-shirt contest. Oh, I'd like to see that. Anyone have any water? A dump on Julian? No, I'm going to drink it. I could use it. It's really hot in here. It's fucking burning.

It's not burning. It's just hot. It's pretty hot, Chris. You're pretty hot, Chris. Ah! Let's talk about trees. What about hot, Chris. Let's talk about trees. What about trees, Chris? Have you ever fallen off a tree?

One time I was swinging from a tree by this rope and the way it slammed me against the tree and wrapped me around the tree so I was like tied to a tree. I was tied to a tree. I remember I was like Because all the air left my system. Yeah.

It's like IRL tether ball. Except that is also real life. There's like two little guys like Oompa Loompas smacking him back and forth. I just, I picture Ryan as a kid when he always tells all these stories

because I've seen pictures of what he looks like, and I just picture this goofy little kid by himself. With big old ears. Yeah, just like slamming into a tree and screaming, tied to the tree. Oh, man. And that's when the man walked up and fucked you.

You guys might trap Warren. You fell right into it. You put out a little swing knowing Ryan would stick himself to the tree. Spider's nest. He just leathered the tree in like sap. Swing that and strikes again. The tree rapist. The tree rapist. After he's done with the kid, he moves to the tree.

They still haven't caught him. He lives in the tree. He just lives up top. He's got a huge beard with like leaves and sticks in it. He looks like Robin Williams from Jumanji. Yeah, exactly. Robin Williams.

Oh, okay. He's dead. He's dead, Chris. Did you say who's Robin Williams? No, I said Robin Williams from Jumanji looks like Robin Williams and everything else, but then I remembered he has a beard at the beginning. Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah, he does.

He says, what year is it? What year is it? Do you think it was a real beard? I was frozen. I think it was real. It was definitely. I was frozen. He grew it out for like

all those, what, 20 minutes? I wish I was brave of him. I can't grow any fucking facial hair. Yo, Peter versus Judy. Who would win? Judy? Peter, who? You're right, she's older.

Mm-hmm. I'd have to say. But which one would you rather be friends with? Why? Why are you laughing? Because I don't want to be friends with either of them. Their parents are dead and they're depressed.

Jesus. It's true. They're really depressing and out of control at the beginning of the movie. Chris doesn't need that in his life right now. I'm stressed out enough. Do you remember they made Zathura? Which was like the weird, not not sequel but kind of the same thing where they played the board game. It was the spiritual successor.

Yeah, and then she kisses her brother or something. It's the same twist as Jumanji, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, she twists him. Twists his nipples. Around a tree like Ryan. Speaking of Jungle Kids, what was the name of the... What was the name of what? What was the name of the cartoon show with the girl who talked to animals?

Oh, uh... Wild Thornberries. The Wild Fuck. What was the name of the cartoon show with the girl who talked to animals? There's the Wild Thornberrys. Yeah, the Wild Thornberrys. The Wild Fuck. What's Nigel sound like? Do your best in the radio. Nigel Thornberry. He's just Tim Curry. I'm going to fuck you.

If he talked like that as the clown, I would have loved it. Hello. Georgie. Wait, so she was talking to animals, right? Yeah. If you're talking to animals wouldn't they just be like me find fuck me fuck that me walk me fuck too walk here eat berry go away now metal mouth monkey want fuck wait i just made a connection yeah direction is nigel thornberry

the clown from it the tim curry yeah yeah are Are you serious? He's also the... Did you actually not know that? I didn't know that. Matt, hold on. He's also the transvestite. I don't think he would know that. Do you know Home Alone 2? Yeah. He's the guy that works at the hotel, too.

Yeah, he is. He's also the slime monster in Inferno. He is a slime monster. He's Hexus. Yeah, Hexus. Yeah. Poison, slime, sludge, and shit. Go to Rob and Liza's clit

This is the wild Thornberry I'm more of a mild Thornberry I had a birthday I had a birthday where I went to the movie where they meet the Rugrats and they have the scratch and sniff cards but they didn't work so it all just smelled like cardboard Tommy's foreskin He's a Jew nevermind

No, he would still have foreskin. It's just old and dried up somewhere his parents probably the parents keep the kids No, they eat it. Yeah, you eat it Tradition they keep before didn't know my parents kept my um you eat it. That's the actual tradition. You didn't know that? My parents kept my umbilical cord. That's like a thing. That's not a foreskin. They eat the foreskin. I'm sure they treat it the same way.

Ross, I'm 21. I would have heard about parents eating the foreskin. Matt, there are people who eat after birth. Yes, they eat foreskin sometimes as a ritual. If you eat foreskin, leave a comment below. Tom Cruise ate his child's placenta. Yeah, that's a Scientology thing. Yeah. They also say he birthed in the dark

or some shit. I don't know. Tom Cruise has to be there for every Scientologist's birth. Can you imagine birthing a child in the... A child? A child? Birthing a child in the dark? Pretty chill style. He comes out and he's here.

He's like, shit, where'd it land? It'd be dead. It just dropped and just hit its floor. I can't imagine. It could have done it in a bouncy castle. That'd be a nice birth. He has a happy first experience in this world. Yeah. He'd grow up to be a clown and be Tim Curry.

I'm always scared because it's way too easy to kill a child. It is. It's very easy to kill a kid. You just shake it a little and then the neck goes whoop. Not speaking from experience, but it is easy to kill a kid. You just shake it a little and then the neck goes whoop. Not speaking from experience but it is easy to kill a kid. All you do is scream I'm Chris O'Dell! And they die instantly.

They go Oh I know you! I'm sorry. Their last words Can I be on Doodle Doodle? Doing stupid shit to babies to make them scared is really funny. If you just open your eyes really fast, then they just, like, retract. Yeah, they just jolt back.

One time, I actually hurt my friend's little brother when he was a baby. Oh, my God, you monster. Yeah, I know. So, do you remember those things? I don't know what they were called. They were, like, dragon riders or something, and you'd spin this, like, this thing. Oh, no, not Beyblades. Not Beyblades, but their arms would go out, and then they'd spin.

Bakugan. No. What is it? It's like a helicopter man. I know what you're talking about. When you pull it, they spin really fast and go like a helicopter. Did you put one in his rectum? No.

Me and my friend, we were hanging out and then we let it rip. And then it went flying. We were like, wow, this is really fun. And then it landed and was going down towards his newborn, like, not newborn, but like less than a year old brother. His open mouth and his little face. It just hit the, it just landed on the baby and hit him in the face. And we're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, shit.

Oh, shit. And there's like, oh, oh, oh. And we're like, oh, we're in so much trouble. We're in so much trouble. And then mom just came and was like, oh, he's fine. And we're like, but like that whole time I thought like the kid was kind of weird. I just thought like, maybe he's thought like her and her husband just fucking throw beyblades at her baby's face

all day daddy of five throwing beyblades because the kid ended up being a little weird when we were growing up I just thought like this whole time

oh you fucked him up I was the one that made him this way and it was his origin story but no you scrambled his brains yeah I did um

fuck I forgot what I was gonna say cool no I what I on what Chris was saying earlier like scaring kids I'll be out in public I've done this before scaring kids in public? no like there'll be a baby looking at you and you make big eyes

and it freaks out and then it starts crying but no one saw you do it so it's just like oh I just did that whenever I see a kid look at me like a little child that probably can't even speak yet I get kind of I get nervous because I feel like it's going to tell on me about something. I don't know what. Do you have something to hide?

Are you jerking off in front of the baby? Well, that's besides the point. That's just a day out. What if dogs could talk and then when your significant other got home, the dog was like, oh, he was jerking off. Oh my God. Why would your significant other care if you were masturbating? Isn't that normal? Because they weren't

there for it. There's nothing more. They wanted to be included. They wanted to watch. The dog is trying to initiate a three-way. Oh. I think a lot of listeners can relate to the uncomfortableness of masturbating and then looking and seeing your pet at the foot of your bed just staring at you, just like calmly, just staring

directly at you masturbating. Or that's something I've had to get over like completely i just have to push him off the bed and be like go away or your cat like walks up to you while you're in the computer and like rubs against your leg you're like stop this is like not the time friend oh please stop i would tell you guys about the ihop kid that was like it was like a movie scene i was eating ihop and i was with my friend and then this like was it me no it was like, it was like a movie scene. So I was eating IHOP, and I was with my friend, and then this like... Was it me? No, it was like in Philadelphia, but this fucking, this little fucking toddler came up behind me, and it was just,

he put his head up to my, like, head, but I didn't see him yet, but he went, psst, psst. And I was just like, what the fuck? And I look around, and I see this kid just like, looking at me, like, with his hands on the chair. I'm just like, yeah? And he didn't say anything, so I look around, and then he's like, psst, psst. I'm just like, what the fuck is going on?

And he just kept doing that for the entire time. He wouldn't say anything to me. He was just freaking me out. You should have stuck your fork in his nose. It was Tim Curry. Just lifted him off the ground. It was Tim Curry. If he talked like Tim Curry, I'd freak out.

Hello there. I'm a little boy. Welcome to IHOP. IHOP. IHOP. Remember that time we went to IHOP and we were out

in the parking lot? What happened? The farting? Yeah. Oh, that was good. That was really fucking funny. I still got the footage of that. Yeah, I still watch that

and laugh sometimes. I'll send you the footage for this podcast. Thank you. I'll put the audio right here. Oh, funny stuff. It is. Good job. Yeah, farts.

I saw Despicable Me in theaters. You shameful fucking... No, okay, so Mike... What were you about to say, Julian? Little boy? I went with my friend, because he had to take his little sister and he's like do you just want to go with me so i was like yeah i went and we were besides parents i think we're the oldest people in the theater and it was there was a birthday party in the row behind me and all the kids what they do is like they repeat every line that's funny and they like they clap and they laugh

and scream and the kid behind me uh decided halfway through the movie he was gonna stand up and watch the movie standing up by holding on to the back of my seat so he started like he'd climb on the back of my seat and actually breathe down my neck where i could feel his hot kid breath on my neck and when he found your pee and you felt your penis unraveling kind of unraveling yeah it's all rolled up and he started shaking the chair every time he would laugh he'd be like just shake the shake the chair and he would touch me and... Sounds great. Yeah, like, what's the problem?

I don't know where this is going. Did you have to, like, sue him and, like, go to court and show where... This child was sexually harassing me. He was breathing down my neck and laughing. That was reverse pitiful. Can you report a child for sexual assault? No. I don't think...

I think... Maybe? Spraying with water. What if he's, like, a little baby genius? Like, he knows what he's doing. Like a boss baby, dude. No. I don't think. I think. Maybe. Spray him with water. What if he's like a little baby genius? Like he knows what he's doing. Like a boss baby, dude.

Yeah, like a boss baby. Boss baby. He's a boss pedophile baby. How many people do you think out there want to be raped by the boss baby? I think there's

Jesus Christ. Like 80? Around? Be raped by the boss baby, Julian? I guarantee you. I guarantee you somebody out there.

He's trying to make himself feel better. I called the boss baby and he came to my house and raped me. What percentage of the people are old Indian men? Oh, the boss baby. I fucking love the boss baby. I want him to come in my window at night. It's perfect fucking skin, my friend.

My wife won't talk to me. My wife. I want my wife to watch helplessly the bus baby came to my house I saw him in my fucking dreams it was the prophecy it's a spiritual experience what if like that kind of like generated an ISIS-type situation? Like a fucking ISIS cult that hailed the Boss Baby? Yeah. If you do not like the Boss Baby, you must go.

The second coming of the Boss Baby. We will spoon your insides out. Leaving the Boss Baby will fucking kill you. Don't equate Muslims to boss baby. Don't equate Muslims to boss baby. That's the number one commandment of Islam. It's a false equivalency.

Yeah. Equivalency. Equivalency. Oh my god. It's the first rule of Sharia law. Call the boss baby when he comes to your house. Worship the boss baby. I'd love for there to be like an instructional video in the boss baby, he comes to your house. Worship the boss baby. I'd love for there to be an instructional video in the boss baby movie about Sharia law.

How to pray to Mecca five times a day. Holy fuck. You got that right. Can I turn on the AC, guys? Yeah, it's a lot of balls. I'm gonna turn on the AC. Leave a comment below if you can turn on the AC. Why don't we take a 10 minute break

I'm okay with that I really need to pee Yeah just a 10 minute break I need a snack too Hey guys We're back from lunch What's that I wonder what's for dinner My boy Hey guys, we're back from lunch. Squat a lot. Squat a lot. We're off. What's that? I wonder what's for dinner.

My boy. I wonder what's for dinner. I'm producing Arc de Roc. Welcome back from the... Welcome back to biggay.org. Slash. Is that taken? Can we take that? No, it's not.

Apparently somebody's going to buy it. Biggay.org. They bought the other... what did we say? Bargingo. Bargingo? See if that exists, man. What was it? BigGay.com?

BigGay.org. BigGay.org. All right. What are you finding? No, it's not. It helps big gays. You landed on BigGay.org. This page is parked free, courtesy of GoDaddy.com.

All right. There you go. You guys know what to do.org. This page is parked free, courtesy of godaddy.com. There you go. You guys know what to do. Where does it redirect to? My Twitter? I'm sad. Ding Dong was supposed to be here today, but he died. He couldn't make it.

He's a miserable little wreck. They're doing construction next door, so he didn't get any sleep. Miserable little wreck. He was stuck working on Clash of Ding Dong. Julian. He's programming the new game, Clash of Julian. He was stuck working on Clash of Ding Dong. Julian. He's programming the new game, Clash of Julian. I have to work on Clash of Julian. Oh, man.

These Julians won't clash themselves. We love you, Ding Dong. It's Clan of Julian. Clan. So we changed it to Clash. Julian, these... The rigging is all wrong, Julian. I didn't make it.

Luigi, remember, said that. I got no more YouTube poops. Turn off your phone, Ryan. My phone's off. Ross, weren't you going to say something about your first experience? Oh, yeah. We were talking at lunch when we took a little break here. We were talking about, I don't know how we got on to it.

We were talking about hentai. And I said that the first time I saw hentai, and I was just telling the story of like, I was, someone asked me about this recently, and I was telling a story about the first time I saw hentai, and when I was explaining it, I was just like, oh, he was a pedophile. Yeah. Oh my god. Because you just explained it like it's this guy that's like,

hey, look at this, how does this make you feel? And you're like, pretty good! Yeah, like, oh,. Oh, so good. It looks pretty cool. I was on this chat service. I would have been like 13. And I remember this guy was in the chat room. And he's like, hey, look at this link.

And I clicked on it. And it was like Jasmine getting fucked by Aladdin or something. I guess that's... Is that hentai still? Is that hentai? I don't know. It's not. Hentai is like anime.

I don't know. I don't know what hentai is. I don't know. Hentai is rad.'t know. It's not. Hentai is like anime. I don't know. I don't know what hentai is. Hentai is rad. Whatever. It's adult cartoons. Yeah, so like fucking the, uh, then what happened was I like, he just goes, how does it make you feel? I'm like, yeah, I mean, pretty good. Wait, did he know you were 13, Ross?

Because then that's legitimately a pedophile. Yeah, he was legitimately a pedophile. I don't know. But like, I just remember that. And I was just like, oh, fuck, that was a pedophile. I thought pedophilia refers to prepubescence. I had this discussion with someone. Apparently it was another one. It's like if you're teenage it's not pedophilia, it's something

somethingphilia. We don't want to be unfair to predators who go after younger people. We want to give them the rights that everyone else I don't want to bump them all in together. Older children. Give them a chance. They're only 15.

But yeah, I just remember that. I was just like, who was I talking to? They were just like, we're talking about hentai. And I just said, yeah, the first time I saw it, I was, oh, God. Dear God. Never really thought about that as an adult. That's scary. When I was in Japan, I bought Chris some hentai.

It's still at my house, though. You didn't take it home. It's the girl putting the small version of her brother inside her pussy. That's perfect for me. I love that shit. Next time you come over, I'll give it to you. Ryan, can I climb inside you? Sure. You need a snorkel. Matt, what's your favorite

hentai? I don't have a specific favorite hentai. I don't watch hentai. You didn't watch Teen Titan hentai on xxx.com? Funny joke, but you... Zone's awesome. Zone's fucking... When Zone was on Newgrounds, I was like, this guy's fucking incredible.

Zone? You never saw Zone? No, I don't know what Zone is. You don't know what Zone is? You don't know what Zone is? I'm sorry, I don't know what Zone is. He's like a Newgrounds legend. Yeah, he's a legend. He makes amazing, really well-anim animated parody hentais of popular shit.

Literally. But he puts in the most... His stuff is better animated than most shit on the internet. Did he do the one where Raven's been fucked? Yeah. I jerked off to that. Yeah. That's the best.

He showed me that a year ago. Ryan was like, check out this video I used to jerk off to. And it was just a video of Raven being fucked by a slade. Yeah, exactly Oh my god was his other name in the series. I was like slayed. Why is that fucking okay? What do you mean? Why is that okay? She's a teenager. He's an adult You're a little kid when you're watching it. Probably. Yeah, it's fine. That's statutory rape It's a cartoon. It's statutory low. I used to jerk off to Simpsons porn. Really? That's awful.

I should not be saying... My mom's going to listen to this. Matt, I'm a furry and I'm judging you. I don't know. I like monster girls. Disgusting. Hey, nothing wrong. No, okay, let me correct the record here.

When I said I jerked off to Simpsons porn, what I meant was in high school, I looked at Simpsons porn once and I Bless you. What I meant was in high school I looked at Simpsons porn once and I didn't knock it until I tried it. Why'd you wink? I didn't wink at you. Fair enough. I did not wink. No, I didn't.

You winked at Ross. I didn't fucking wink. Yes, you did. What, was he in it? Badly drawn, heavily shaded Simpsons porn is the funniest shit. There's a lot of it.

I don't understand why. It's like when Homer's head is on like a perfect muscly man, like anatomy body. And it's like heavily shaded with a coloring pencil. I always just see Bart fucking Marge. That's a big one for someone. I love that shit. I remember when I was younger,

I had this friend, Atilio. He was really cool. And we both loved Dragon Ball so much. And he came up to me one day. He's like, dude, you're not going to believe this. I'm like,'m like what he's like before dragon ball was on cheese tv

which was the kids morning show in australia tv that's what we had he's like it was a hentai i'm like or like it was it was porn and i was just because we don't know what hentai was and i was just like what he's like yeah dude it's like legit it's online and then he like sent it to me in private like my parents could never catch just uncensored dragon ball yeah no no but no it wasn't that it was like actual parody it was like really well drawn was it dojin what did you say it is that what goku's fucking boma i don't know no it's like it was like uh everyone saw that one back no it was it was like goku fucking everyone saw that when it's true all this stuff that you

guys have seen i haven't seen because i have no interest in human characters that's fair enough how did how did this podcast evolve into us oh yeah comparing the different types of cartoon porn we've seen i don't know we're talking about ross's ross's first boyfriend yeah my pedophile boyfriend yeah well did we did we solve whether he's a pedophile? Oh, he's totally a pedophile. He was definitely a racnophile. What are the others? I like spiders. They're nice. Julian, would you dress up as one?

Imagine one of those kid costumes with those little legs coming off the side. With little strings. That's a good image. Just Julian swinging around on a crane. On a crane! Ding-ding-dongs controlling it. Julian! Julian!

Julian! Julian! Tuck in your arms, Julian! Chris, do the, uh, do, let's do a song. I'll do the kazoo and you can do the backing track. Okay, go, go.

Literally, go. Do the Simpsons. Oh, Simpsons, do Simpsons. Do the backing track. I'll do the main. Okay. Go, go, go, go, go. You guys should do the

and someone should go Okay. I, I, you do not, go. You guys should do the... And someone should go... Okay. You do not want me involved in this. Come on, guys. I have no rhythm. Can you do it? That's the next couch gag. I would die.

I'd like to point out Julian did all that rhythm by banging on his belly. That's what I do at some point during that I ran out of breath and started just doing the mouth motions and hope no one would notice and I just sat here quietly because I have no rhythm which makes no sense do you like it? I don't have rhythm either but I tried it's weird because as an animator they're like

yeah you should have pretty good rhythm and timing and I feel like I have that. How does that correlate? no it doesn't at all. No it doesn doesn't really, but like timing is a thing. Animation timing is you spacing. But it's not timing like music. Yeah, it's spacing frames out. That's all it is. I know, but I'm saying when I say that people are like, that's really weird, you're an animator. I'm like, yeah, but it's not the same. Yeah, but those people are dumb.

I know! I'm just saying, I get told that a lot. You fucking throw boiling water in their eyes. That's how you animate. That's how you handle every situation where someone disagrees with you. You always keep a flask with you just in case you have to boil water. It's just a gland.

I have a contraption in my pocket that has a little lighter constantly boiling it. I can play drums, but I can't play piano. But hypothetically, with drums you're doing three different beats at once. In piano it's just two different hand things and I can't do that. Can you play drums? You can do piano, but can, with drums, you're doing three different beats at once. And piano, it's just two different hand things, and I can't do that. Why can you...

Like, can you play drums? You can do piano, but can you play drums? I've never tried. Why not? I just never had the chance. Come over, we'll play rock band. Yeah, we got rock band. I'm good at rock.

It's the same thing as playing a real instrument. It's not... I mean, the drums are pretty similar, I guess. I fucking love drums and rock band. I can't do it. With the foot pedal thing, I go like... I look like I should be in a special little class. I look like this.

I do that very jerky kind of like, I gotta get this one. Fuck! Do it all at the same time. So you missed the note. I am terrible at rhythm games. I love rhythm games. I'm terrible at rhythm games too, but it's my favorite genre. It's probably one of my favorite genres too.

They should make a Sonic rhythm game. Called Sonic Underground. No, like the fast parts in the 3D version, like the 3D games. They're known for being really bad because they don't know how to focus that, but what if they just made it into a little rhythm thing and then they made the combat good so it's like two separate things.

I feel like, you know that game, I can't remember, you played as a little beetle or whatever. Buck Bumble. If they made or whatever. Buck Bumper. Or whatever. Thumper? If they made it kind of like Thumper during those fast parts. Yeah, what is the little bug and everything's musical theme, right? What is that called?

Thumper, I thought. Is it Thumper? It's Thumper, yes. Let's talk about like killing people. Okay, my favorite method is... I want your pretty blood all over me. What? It's crimson.

You know what I'm going to buy you in Japan, Julian? Last time I was in Japan, I found King of the Hill in Japanese. Why didn't you buy it right away? Like just the show? Like it was a dub DVD or something? It was a dub DVD, but the whole thing, like the whole case, it had all of them up against the fence and it was all in Japanese

and stuff. How would Hank Hill's Ba transfer into like Ba! Oh! the fence and it was all in Japanese and stuff. How would Hank Hill's bah transfer into like... He does the sound effect for sarcasm. What is that sound effect? That's the kabuki... I love that. I love that sound.

Can you try to recreate it? I can't do it. I need to hear it first. I need to hear it. You add reverb to it. Yeah, King of the Hell in Japanese would be like, Kuso, Bobby, San. It wouldn't be San, it would be Chan. You're talking about the sound that goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's called the Kabuki. Add reverb to it. It'll go like this. It goes, I love that. He fell down the stairs. There's no stairs in his house. He fell down the mountain.

I have a picture. I took a picture of the King of the Hill DVD when I was in Japan. Let me find it. I want to hear that played on a shamisen. I want to hear the King of the Hill theme done entirely with Hank's You already did that with Crash. Yeah? Let me see this.

A picture of a baby. I forgot I had that on my phone. What is that doing? Is that baby being waterboarded? With milk? Okay. Is the baby being waterboarded? With milk? I'm trying to do the harmony. Oh. Wait, I'm trying to go...

Okay, yeah. Alright, ready? So, yeah, go. Go. Ready? So yeah, go. Go. Oh, fuck.

I can't get it. It's hard. I can't get it. It's hard to do. It's a tricky thing. Never work at Fox. I always do it. When I watch a movie, I get the harmony right, but I can't do it without hearing it. This is how you get a job at Fox.

You have to play it correctly or else you're gone. Please. I can't get the harmony correct. Please. I can't get the harmony correct, please! I can't get it right! Listen, I've been living in the Hollywood area for like three, four years now and I still haven't seen that building.

I haven't seen the giant Fox building with the spotlights everywhere. Where is it? The giant words that say Fox? Yeah. You'll know it when you see it because it's the giant building that says Fox. That's the studio, right? They've got like offices in there. The offices it's the giant building that says Fox. That's the studio, right? They've got offices in there. The offices are in the spotlights that swivel around.

So shit gets thrown around. Universal actually has a satellite that circles the planet that just says Universal. I started Kickstarter to get that thing in the fucking sky. Ryan, I want you to act out the situation, right? What situation? Okay, so this is real now. This is completely real. Okay.

Am I the only one acting here or are there going to be other people other people doesn't matter everyone else can chime in if they want right? So you get a call you get a call right this second and during this podcast, okay? The guy says hello, I'm from Fox and I like your shit. I need you to come in today and pitch me a movie Okay today, yeah get in here in the next hour. Okay. Tell me the movie you're gonna pitch him right now. Okay? Okay? So you get to his office you walk in he's like, okay Okay. Tell me the movie you're gonna pitch him right now. Okay. Okay. So you get to his office, you walk in, he's like, okay,

now go pitch me this movie. Fuck. This is your chance. This is your big chance, Ryan. If you fuck this up, you're blacklisted from Hollywood. Get a bunch of Fox execs

to cross the table at you. Just like in suits and shit. You're at the end of a huge, long table and they're at the other end. You haven't prepared, Ryan. You gotta make this movie. They're all wearing

matching Buffalo Bills jerseys. You gotta make this shit up right now. Go. You gotta pitch him the best movie ever. Give us the movie, Ryan. You gotta make this movie up. They're all wearing matching Buffalo Bills jerseys. You gotta make this shit up right now. Go. You gotta pitch them the best movie ever. Give us the movie, Ryan. Okay. Um. There.

There's this. Yeah, speak up. Okay. Okay. Sorry. What was your name again? Uh, Ryan. Oh.

Ryan. McGee. Ryan McGee. Anyway, go on. That can't be a real name. Uh, so I gotta. You wanna start crying, Ryan? No.

Fucking pussy. What a faggot. That's our crying Ryan. Fucking pussy. What a faggot. That's what they call me. Anyways, so picture this. The synopsis is in medieval times. Everybody loves a good medieval epic. Like the restaurant. Yeah. What? Yes. Kind of like that.

Where you used to be able to eat with your fingers. So this exists in a world in medieval times. There's this young little boy. A whippersnapper. Yeah. And he travels long and far. And he finds a caveman.

And the caveman. Hold it together, son. I'm sorry. This is a pitch. It's such a good idea. I get so excited about it. This kid's on the Giggle Game. So when he finds the caveman, the caveman shows him how to be a real friend. Is this a love story?

Yeah. Think of Brokeback Mountain, but in medieval times with a caveman. As executives, we like these stories of the boy-man love. Yeah. Why is he a caveman? Because he's a caveman because he's stupid and he can't speak right. He can only speak. Can we work in Dwayne Johnson?

Will he be the caveman? The caveman can only speak by hitting a tree with a stick in certain kind of patterns. Like Alan Geller. Like Gigantus Pythicus, Bigfoot. You guys know about that? Yeah. Of course! So that's the way he communicates. But one day,

the king comes and breaks the caveman's stick. So the caveman can't speak anymore. Is he Robbie Rotten now? Is he sitting in the boardroom? Was this a special... Look at this bitch. I just found.

So basically, it's all about the caveman trying to find the stick with his medieval little boyfriend. Was it a special stick? Yeah, it allowed him to speak, and when he hit trees in certain ways, it's kind of like a... Did it say words? It reverberates into words! Yeah, right? Well...

And so you asked for me. What do you think, Robbie? Well, you didn't hear the climax. Oh, I want a climax. Give me the climax. Okay, so the climax, they walk, the boys, like, he has to hide the caveman because the knight's after him because they destroyed his stick and he wants to destroy his people. So he's like, here. So then the people come in and there's this big climactic moment where the guards and

stuff walk in and the mother's trying to hide them. So she hides them everywhere she thinks. Under her bosoms. Sexual humor for the adults. What? Sexual humor for the adults. Yeah, exactly. No, no, no. I got it. The caveman accidentally farts and she has to act like it's

her fart. Like Ritman. It'll be like a very tense moment like the beginning of Inglourious Bastards where they're hiding the Jews. It'll be like that. Someone needs to add a fart sound effect into that scene. Under the floorboards? I am an eagle, I'm a hawk

and they're the rats. Hmm. What was that? What was that? I may have to pretend it's him. So that's the pitch. When I say no, get ready to go! I think it's a great idea.

Can you imagine if the meeting was adjourned and they all just stood up like monks and started chanting the fucking the fucking fox theme you got you got the you got that means yes they just all in unison do that. Thank you. They accepted it. That's great. I'm so proud of you.

It's going to be Little Boy and the Caveman. You fucking sellout! Fucking loser. Starring Dwayne Johnson. I love Buff. I love Buff. Starring Jane. Jane.

Jane Johnson. I was like Jane Dwanston. Jane Dwanston. I love that guy. Jane Dwanston. Jane Dwanston. I love that guy. Jane Dwanston. He's my favorite wet foot. Jane Dwanston. That's just the rock, but his head is where his dick should be.

The rock, Dwanston. His what? That's just the rock, but his head is where his dick should be. And his dick is on his neck. He doesn't have a dick. That's my ideal man. I actually, I read a one of those threads on reddit

that's like have you ever slept with celebrities and someone said Dwayne Johnson's cock was like painfully large I believe it I don't believe it

you think he has a small penis no no no I'm just saying I don't believe that person had sex with Dwayne The Rock Johnson of course not

um Julian is gay you can say that again Chris I'm doing a really bad job. I've been trying really hard to not talk about my sexuality in every fucking appearance. Julian, just talk about it, dude. Julian, we're the ones who always bring it up.

That is true, and also it's too much fun for me to turn down. I really enjoy how weird it is compared to... Julian. What? Can you feel a prostate orgasm in your dick? That's a good question. You know what? I have not experienced one yet. What? An orgasm? Prostate. I haven't had

my prostate stimulated yet. That's what black cats are for. You jump up there, you let them... You can go to the doctor and ask him to stimulate your prostate. That's gonna happen sooner or later. Take him a little peanut. Can you actually do that? Yeah. Well, that's how they check for cancer. Doctor, my prostate. Just tell him to check a little peanut. Can you actually do that? Yeah. Well, that's why they check for cancer. Doctor, my prostate. Just tell him to check a little longer.

It's real itchy. Keep, keep, keep trying. You know what? It's, I really feel it down there. I would really, I would just rest easy if you could check again. Can I tell you a good story about the prostate exam? Have you had the prostate exam? No, no.

But my, my dad told me, my dad told me back in the. Yeah. My dad told me. It's pretty gay. Sorry. It's okay. My dad, my dad told me back in the 70s that there was a prank that doctors would do. So if another doctor

came in for an exam, what they'd do is they'd be like, alright, so could you please spread your cheeks? And they'd be like, alright. And then I'd be like, okay. They have you spread your own cheeks? I don't know if they did this. I'm just hypothetical. I've never had it done alright. So the idea that

they do is so basically they'd be like all right so and then they cut the the fucking uh doctor would put his hands around the waist the other doctor and be like all right i'm putting it in now and then keep two of his hands there and then get the nurse to sneak in behind and stick her finger up instead so just like he just feels like he's getting violated and the doctors would be like oh and but isn't he still being violated, and the doctors would be just like, oh! But isn't he still being violated since that's someone's finger up his ass that he didn't know about? And they're putting their finger up his ass just for fun. The nurse was doing it. It's totally professional.

It's still bad. Well, the nurse is checking for his prostate. That's true, yeah. She's looking for it. She can't find it. Like, if I turn around while I'm getting a prostate exam and I see just some strange nurse just laughing with her finger up my ass, I'm like, I don't know. What a good little romp. It'd probably be a friend. And you can finger your friends.

I finger my friends all the time. If I had a friend, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be like, hey, since you're my friend, I don't trust anyone else to do this. Can you stick your finger all the way up my asshole and feel my hard prostate? It's to the second knuckle. And when I was in high school, I had a friend, he obviously didn't know what he was talking about, but he was fully serious.

Like, no, the way they check for a prostate exam or the way they do it is the doctor, you know, they stimulate your prostate. And basically, if you cum, that means you're healthy. And if you don't, that's a problem. And I was like, you're telling me I'm going to go to the doctor and he's going to make me cum by sticking his finger in mine? And I believed that for years, that a prostate exam makes a man cum. It would be a nice world. I mean, he might have. It would be a nice world. It'd be a great world. It might have just been something that happened.

Maybe he discovered some new feelings. What if, because you know they put you in those gowns, what if they just did it, and they were tickling your prostate, and then all of a sudden you just get a rock-hard boner, and it's like a new feeling for you, and you're just like, fuck, and then you don't want to turn around to look at the doctor because like the gown is

like then he starts spitting on his finger to go a little bit further make sure you're super healthy he goes that was too real he sticks he takes his fingers oh god i'm sorry that everybody just stopped watching. Is that everyone's prostate orgasm doctor? Everybody close the window. Bring him back. I am the window washer. I come to wash and wipe your windows. Julian, bring him back in song.

What the fuck is that? That's scary stories. Tell in the dark. Okay, go on. Do the song. I love my mom. I love my dad. I love my brother. I love my dad. I love my brother and my dad

Watch the fucking lamb What the lamp do to you? I didn't mean to what I hate these land was looking at you Everyone hates these land. I don't know why they're here. They don't even stand up. They don't balance well. It's just a hindrance Y'all you You're gonna brah bowl whatever who cares no one balance well, it's just a hindrance. Y'all, you broke the glass. No, stop. You're going to break the bulb. Whatever, who cares? No one likes them if it's broken. Yeah, but if the bulb breaks, then we're going to step on the glass.

Everybody get this. God damn it, Ross. Julian, that's a letter to God. God damn it, Ross. Daddy, yes, yes, yes, or whatever, please fuck me. Is that the line? Not right at all. Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes. Daddy, lie. Daddy, fuck me, huh? That's funny. That's funny stuff. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Daddy lied. Daddy fucked me, huh? That's funny. That's funny stuff. God, why do we ever give that up? I like fucking my dog every day. I like fucking my dog every day.

I like fucking my dog. When I wake up, I get up. I put my dick in my dog. When I wake up, I get on my dog. I put my dick in my dog. I wanna fuck them all. All day long. All day long.

I live as my dog every day. I am fucking my dog. Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! All right.

This is the musical episode. Chris? Can you tell us a story? I don't really have any right now. Once upon a time, there was a little boy who wanted to go... Okay, come up with a story. Let's do the thing. Ryan, you start the story.

Oh, yeah, I like these. You do a sentence, then Ross do one, then Matt, then me, then Julian. Oh, I love these. Okay, so I'll start it off. Start it out, Ryan. Okay. A long time ago in a land covered in ice, there was a troll. This troll loved to sit under his old dusty bridge.

He had a nice little parasol that he'd pull out when the sun was out. Parasol? Yeah. Like a little umbrella? Why would he need that? He's under a bridge. Like a little friendly umbrella. Whatever, it's the story.

Yeah, just gotta roll with it. That's fucking yes and. Yes and. Okay, but every time he opened it, it rained on him. We're getting progression. He was on the brink of suicide. He knew that he could hold out hope. How am I supposed to come back from that?

So he was on the brink of suicide, okay. One day, he saw a small little boy with a yellow trench coat walk up to him. In the land of ice. In the land of ice. He walked up to this boy and he said, Hold my parasol for one second. The little boy took the parasol and opened it and then the curse of the rain went on to him and the troll was free.

The troll grabbed the little boy, ripped off his arms and ran into the sunset. The fucking end! Yay! Yay! The fucking end Yay Yay Can we end it there? Yeah why not