supermegashow - EP 44 - The Ming Dynasty (ft. Ding Dong & Julian)

Episode Date: May 20, 2017

These funny fellows are back on our couch (plus new Ming report). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. We already started. No, we're starting now. No, we already started. We already started. Hey guys, welcome back to our podcast, episode 44 with You Know Em, You Love Em.

We got Ding Dong and Julian. They don't love me. No, they love you. No. You're welcome here. They love you more than they love us. That's true. That's a good point. That's because nobody loves you. No. They love you more than they love us. That's true. That's a good point.

That's because nobody loves you. Thanks, Julian. Listen, I love you guys more than anybody else. Matt specifically. Thank you, Julian. I walked into a room and I heard you say ding dong and I shut the door and walked out. Yeah. But on the way here, we got an Uber together.

Oh, Jesus. We did. Julian almost died. Julian did almost die. here we got an uber together oh jesus we did julian almost died julian did almost the guy everybody else piled in the car and i was in the middle of getting into the car and the guy starts driving and so i'm hopping on one leg that's awful i'm sorry that's awful oh oh my god i'm sorry that is bad i'm sorry i don't smell it. I don't smell it either. Okay, now I smell it. No, you don't. Yes, I do.

No, you don't. You're trying to be funny. No, Julian. I'm not going to go over there. I'm not going to go over there. Why are you blowing it at him? I'm going to blow it away somehow. I don't smell it. Inhale, Julian. Take it. We're fine. The coast is clear. Alright, back to the story. Julian was getting in the Uber.

He's, you know, he's rolling himself in and The uber driver just started driving off while Julian wasn't even in the car the car with the door open like he didn't Did he did he do it on purpose? Well, he laughed because he did never said sorry He looks back to and goes Jesus Christ. Oh his feet are dragging Jesus Christ, oh! And his feet are dragging on the ground. He's like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck? He's like, oh, oh, what the fuck? I did. And the Uber driver stops in the middle of the street,

and he turns around and goes, oh. He was this old, I don't know, Spanish guy? Then your hair got caught in the door. Yeah, because I was trying to close it in a hurry, and my hair got caught in the door. Yeah, your hair got caught in the door, too. And he just turned around. He didn't give a shit.

All he did was he laughed and kept driving. He thought it was real lousy He didn't even say sorry Just the image of Julian being dragged by a car What the fuck You were there You don't have to picture it But since I was there I can picture it It's funny what are you talking about I can't picture funny moments

I say you don't have to picture it You were there to witness at the begin with That's the only way you can remember something. You have to picture it because you're not there. You're not there in the moment anymore. You have to remember it using your memory. I keep being really pleasantly surprised because your hair looks so good. It does look good today. Thank you. I can't tell if you noticed. You're trying something not as good as Matt's.

Yeah. Thank you. I haven't... The reason I liked it is because Julian he couldn't do anything because he had one foot in the car. Yeah, exactly. It's not like he had both do anything because he had one foot in the car Yeah exactly He had one foot in the car He turned and laughed and he was still doing it too Yeah he hadn't stopped all the way

He was a bad driver He wouldn't have been laughing if the fucking car door Hit another car It almost did There was another car parked next to it Is there a Ming report this week? Yeah there is. We got a Ming report.

Tell us, because people get mad when we're on the show. Because they think we're not going to have a Ming report if we're on, so prove them wrong. She's finally back. To kick some tail. Yes, dude. Yes. That reference was on point. Julian.

No. No. I know that one. I just got I just got zapped I just got zapped back to when I was

a little boy zapped back my yes zapped back is the term I chose it just it warmed up

I got taken back from the past to play these shitty games that suck ass go on tell us about Ming oh yeah

just out of the blue one day she'd been gone for a couple weeks like always just reappeared in the alleyway. And she's out there.

She's screaming. She's dancing. That's how she materializes. She screams into existence. You'd just be out there and just... Appears into reality. A ghostly face opens up in reality and she steps out. She pulls her arms through the...

She's in a T-pose and she's rendering in while screaming. But Ryan, you've had some encounters with her. My encounters were... It was about 4.30 in the morning last week and I'm awoken by screams outside my window. And I look out my window, and I saw her out on the street, and she had a Gatorade bottle, and she's slamming it on this glass window. And she's going, and screaming, and she started dancing.

And then another time, I saw her outside at an intersection, and she was dancing very sassily in the middle of the intersection. Sassy, huh? She's so sassy. And there was a pickup truck. She's a free spirit. She's got so much sass in her step. No, she's really aggressively sassy. She always puts her hands on her hips and kind of like does this posture where she gets up in your face. She did

to Ryan the other day. She asked for weed and a cigarette and I had to decline. But I saw her dancing on a porta potty like on a Like up on top of it? Not on top but like you know it's on a grate and she was with it dancing around like She was with it? When was this? This was like

midnight. Yeah it had to be about midnight. How can you get mad at her? I can't. She's living free Ryan. Actually I do get mad whenever I see her. When she was asking you if you knew this one and she was singing, why didn't you go along with it? Why did you get mad whenever I see her. When she was asking you if you knew this one and she was singing, why didn't you go along with it? Why did you get mad?

Because I can't. You just go, blah, ooh. You just go along with it. On a related note, we've been saying, what, you're going to cry? We've been saying that to each other. You're going to cry? Do you skateboard, though? No. She has a scooter.

Yeah, the scooter. With the car. No, but Ming has a scooter now. She just has a little razor scooter razor scooter but uh push-ups put it in his cart and took it away so she doesn't have her scooter anymore yeah so she had the scooter she'd been riding around on and weaving down the alleyway she ride by and like scream at people while riding i haven't seen i've only seen her ride at once but she was just she wasn't really riding it she was just she just dancing while standing on it, I guess. One foot on, one foot off, doing the sassy butt shake that she does.

Start a channel for her. I would like to. I keep saying do Ming Sings. Ming TV. I forgot about that. Hey, I have an update. I drove by her with Chris in a U-Haul. And she called me a faggot and flipped me off.

Oh, my God. Why? Is Ming a hobo-phobe? I think she's a hobo-Haul. And she called me a faggot and flipped me off. Oh my God. Why? Is Ming a hobophobe? I think she's a hobophobe. I didn't... Hobophobe. That was not on purpose. I didn't mean to say that.

A hobophobe? I walked by... I drove by and I rolled the window down and I went, hello! And she stuck up her middle fingers

and went, faggot! Oh my God. She's making all the homeless people in the area mad though. They hate her. Pushups was like,

shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Yep. homeless people in the area mad, though. They hate her. Pushups was like, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Yep. They got in a big old verbal dispute. And all she was doing was, no, no, no! And he was just screaming, shut up. I didn't see this.

Ryan saw this. You should have joined in. You should have started screaming about something, too. Oh, and Ryan saw her chase a woman. That was in the same instance, because a woman walked out of the garage, and on one side she had pushups. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! and then there was ming going so on both sides she walks out and she's automatically jarred into this reality of of homelessness i guess i don't know

but but uh you gotta let it out no sudden ding dong he starts he stifles his laughs. But then Ming comes along and starts kind of... What's the thing? Don't chew gum on a podcast. Like the fake charge at someone. She did that. How bears will fake charge, or gorillas will fake charge at you. She like fake charged the woman and started screaming. The woman just like turned around and went right back into the garage.

She whipped right in there. And you know what she did the other day? Ming has a habit of, she'll put things out in the street and sit back and watch cars run them over. She had like a I think it was a 40 bottle. Big glass bottle. She stuck it in the middle of the street for cars to run over. I had to drive around it

and I got in my car and I took the pick to the bottom and I threw it somewhere else. I'm like, you fucking bitch. Why are you trying to get cars to run over glass and pop their tires and shit? Oh, come on. She's like a little 11-year-old. Let her have fun. If my 11-year-old put a bottle in the street, I'd scream at him. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you're not the parent. I wish I was Ming's parent. I'd put her in timeout. You do not wish you were Ming's parent. I'd put her in a little corner with a gun. Do you wish Ming was your parent? Yes. Yes.

That's if you were a teacher, you'd put a dunce cap on her. Apparently, she is a mom. Apparently. She carries around worms in her... No, she used to... Apparently, she used to be married and has kids. That's what another homeless person told us. Which is sad, if that's true.

It's very sad. They probably hate her. They confirmed that it's apparently a meth is what makes her so crazy. She put the kids in the middle of the road for a car to hit them. I'm gonna sit back and watch this one. And then when it happens she goes, faggot!

Chris was there. Chris confirmed that that actually happened. We went by in a little U-Haul and she did that to me. Very mean. You're a meth from Super Mega! You're the worst part that to me. Very mean. You're mad from Super Mega. You're the worst part. What would you do if she actually was aware of Super Mega? I'd be devastated.

Mortified. What if she went to the local library to get onto a computer and tell everything that she knows about you? What does she know about me? That I drove by in a car and I said hi? She knows where you live. She has your license plate.

Yeah, she does know where I live. She has your license plate. I don't think she can remember my license plate. She doesn't even have a cell phone. Five. She doesn't have a cell phone. Six. A lot of homeless people have a cell phone.

Yeah, I've noticed that. Ain't it great? Oh, you guys don't like us? No, I didn't hear at all. I don't think it's funny that you're making fun of homeless people, Julian. I don't think that's funny at all. I was one. So there you go.

It's true. Yeah. All right, we just got full immunity. Okay. Fuck yeah. I've got everything. No, you know, I'm not transgender. I don't have that covered.

It's true. But I've got everything else. Could you just do it so we could talk about it? Could you identify? Yeah, just do it for a second. Yep, now he's transgender. I'm a woman. Okay, cool.

Hey. No, I'm not. It's me again. All right. Is that what transgender is? Yeah, that's what it is. You got circled by magic sparkles like in Cinderella. Oh, my God.

We can say whatever we want on the podcast now. We've got gay, transgendered, homeless, and brown. We're immune from any attacks from people saying you can't make fun of that. I'm not that brown. Well, you're brown. I could be browner. You're pretty brown. Anyone could be browner.

Inspirational words. From Ryan McGee. Anyone could be browner. Be as black as you want. Are you brown? You could always be browner. That's the Prozac song. Be as white as you want to. Yeah, they say be as white as you want to. Are you brown? You could always be browner. That's the Prozac song. Be as white as you want to.

Yeah, they say be as white as you want to. But anyway. We went to the Mexican place and Julian had the margaritas. Which he called marijuanas after saying. He said, I only had two marijuanas. I feel like that. Didn't we talk about that last time we did the podcast? Did you?

I don't remember that. I don't know that long ago. You guys were on the pod. Or you weren't, but Julian was on the podcast two weeks ago. You almost threw up. Remember? Oh, yeah. You kept freaking out.

I felt bad for you. You were really upset. I went out in the parking lot and I was like... Yeah, he really wanted to. He was upset he couldn't do it. I went over by a tree and I started gagging. I was like, uh-oh, I think I'm going to throw up. Not because I had too much to drink.

It just happened. There was a family on the other side of the fence just watching you as you were doing it, too. They were playing basketball. They were watching you. They stopped the game to watch you. They did. They stopped to watch. Did they really?

Yes. I guess I was too focused on the puke. These stupid little Mexican kids that were all standing around staring. You can say that, though, because you're Mexican. It's true. People have gotten mad at him for that before. Because they hear him through a microphone. They're like, what fucking racist?

Because in their eyes, in their ears, he doesn't sound like a Mexican to them. So they're the racist ones, right? I mean, I don't know what would even... What did you say? The Mexican children at the old apartment you were at? Oh yeah, I was saying they were like animals. Because they were running around and they were making a lot of noise. That's a

classic thing. Kids are like, oh, they're acting like animals. Yeah. But he said Mexican children, so it's because they're Mexican. Yeah, but then if he says Mexican children, then they can paint a better picture. They're like a bunch of chupacabras. Like a story. Julian, do you believe in chupacabra? Uh, no. Why not?

Probably just because I don't live there. What if you were the chupacabra? Uh no Why not? I don't think Probably just cause I don't live there What if you were the Chupacabra? I'm the goat sucker I suck goats Is that what that means? Yeah I don't think it's a literal translation Well Chupa means suck right?

That's what it's about I don't know I guess that would make sense Suck my dick is Chupa There's Chupa Chups Something like that So that uh I guess that would make sense

They're called sucky socks Yeah Wait what's goat? Fucker Chupacabra? Oh Chupa Chups. Something like that. So that, I guess that would make sense. It's called Sucky Socks. Yeah. Wait, what's goat? Fucker. Cabra? Oh. I used to know what goat. It's chief?

No. Is it cabra? I don't think that's it. Cabra? Cabron? It's goat. It's balls, right? You can say, you can say.

Does that mean balls? Pinche cabron is a swear word. What does cabron mean? I don't know. Cabron. You always say let me see when you want someone to get out of the way. Yeah, that's a thing I think I picked up. I don't know if that's a... Anybody who's Mexican

leave a comment. Let's do some research. Let me see means get out of the way because that's I always tell Ding Dong that. You say it in general and I always say see what? You get really mad. I mean he says see these nuts. It's funny, right?

It's funny. It's one of those these nuts jokes. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years

of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that.

Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. One of those again. Why do you look so appalled? One of those again. You don't think that's funny? Come up with one of those again. Why do you look so one of those? I don't think that's funny one of you Come up with one of those what? I'm supposed to say these nuts. I'm do you want to see monster trucks?

It's been out of theaters for like two months You do want to see his embrace reds already on DVD by now get out is already available to download Is it well Things are available so much quicker now after they hit theaters. Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, I would always be like, I really like that movie. When's it going to be on VHS? And it's always like months. And it's like six months at least.

It would be like the next year it would come out. That sucks. And now it's like, what, two or three months? I guess that forced people to go see things in theaters so they'd make more money. I remember there's,. I remember the Hunger Games movies, those types of movies. Those are always still out in theaters whenever the DVDs and Blu-rays release. Yeah, that's really strange to me. I think the Hunger Games was out in theaters at least in South Carolina for six months.

Monster Crush was successful. It was in theaters for... It's still in theaters. Well, I mean... Is it? No! That's just a thing that happens is when a movie's doing really good, they keep it on so that it can keep making money. Yeah, like all the Harry Potters were in theaters for a long time.

What else? Wasn't Frozen in theaters for like almost a full year? And then they re-released the sing-along version. Oh, wow. And then they did the not sing-along version. The re-release of the not sing-along. You know what? Every time there's a song, they just mute the audio.

That's a topic. How do you guys feel about Frozen? I haven't seen it. Oh. It's not. Okay, that's not a topic. It's not horrible. I can get my opinions on it without seeing it.

Okay, what did you all think about Moana? I liked Moana. Did you want to make her moan? Yes. Moana. But I said that and Ryan's like, she's 14. She is. She's young. Is she? She's young. I was under the impression

she was over 18. Well, see, the problem with all the Disney princesses... Her voice actress isn't even 18. The problem with all the... They always sound like full-grown damn women, and they always make them really fully developed. They don't look like they're that young. I know. She didn't look like a 14-year-old. Did you like when she said, it's my job? What do you mean She didn't look like a 14-year-old. Did you like when she said, it's my job?

What do you mean she didn't look like a 14-year-old? It's my job. Yes, she did. That made me laugh in the theater when that happened. It made me laugh, too. Because you looked at me and I knew exactly what you were thinking when that happened. Because it sounded like the Brown Brooks. Yeah. It did. That was the joke. Do you remember that? She says, it's my job.

No. I remember, it's my job. What? No. I remember it's when they were arguing about what to do, and she swings on the mast of the boat, and she goes, that's my job. What do we think of The Rock's singing abilities? He's fine. He didn't know it was The Rock. I didn't know it was The Rock.

I didn't. That makes it really uncomfortable for me. I heard a lot of people saying, like, he's fucking terrible. He's super auto-tuned. I didn't that i that makes it really i heard i heard a lot of people saying like he's fucking terrible i'm super auto-tuned i didn't notice i like you can't tell like when it's so you know what i think in general i'm really stupid when it comes to music i do not understand a lot of music theory so that's probably same here i just enjoy it that's probably why i don't i didn't notice but uh it made me really uncomfortable because I think he's attractive in real life. Dwayne Johnson?

He's one of the few people, real life people, that I think is attractive. What about Maui? If Maui pinned you down, would it make you... See, that's the thing that makes me uncomfortable is because I feel this weird... I should not be talking about this. I shouldn't be talking about gay shit. Go on, go on. Would Maui make you go wowie?

Or would he make you go yaoi? You've been saving that one, haven't you? I feel like both of those mean the same thing. That's what makes it uncomfortable for me is because I don't... I feel like I'm supposed to like him because he's a big muscle man, but I don't like him, and so there's this weird... He's not exactly... He just looks really wide.

It's because he's too smooth. He's very stout. It's because if's too smooth. He's very stout. It's because if they made him look really buff and defined, I think that would be too intimidating. And so that's why they made him all smooth. If he tangled you in his messy hair, how would you feel? The hair looked really good in the movie. Make a little scene song.

Did you like the funny chicken? The problem... Did you laugh every time? I didn't hate the chicken. I'm fine with the chicken because... But it's the it's did you like the funny chicken the problem did you laugh every time i didn't hate the chicken julian i'm fine with the chicken because but it's ableist well that's the thing is i'm glad that i'm glad that they can still i'm glad that they can still make jokes about somebody being malformed and stupid i don't think that was that that was their intent it's an idiot we gotta have the mongoloid chicken in the movie with big's what it is. It's the only way we can get away with this.

That's what it is. He has big bulging eyes pointing in different directions. I know that's what it is. I just don't think they were going, let's make fun of retarded people. No, they weren't trying to be edgy. But how do we do it? I'm happy that we didn't end up like this. How do we be safe about this?

I'm happy that we didn't end up like the... When they say Resident Evil, how do we achieve this? How do we achieve this? I'm happy that it didn't end up like the stupid My Little Pony thing where they had to censor it because people got mad. What are they censoring? There was a character that sounded like that, and he was supposed to be stupid on My Little Pony, and then everybody got upset, so they recast it, and it just sounded like a normal fucking person. Would people be mad at Kronk today, then? Like, Kronk's character?

I mean, Scooby-Doo had Scooby-Dum, who couldn't exist anymore now. Really? Because he just had too many chromosomes. Was that a super power? Have you seen Down Syndrome Animals, though? What is that? Scooby-Doo characters don't have super powers. Was that a spin-off series?

Did you miss the movie where they had... Did you ever see Scooby-Doo and the Super-Doos? That was a spin-off series. Look up Scooby-Doo superheroes. Have you ever seen the RobonicDoo and the Super-Doos? Look up Scooby-Doo superheroes. Have you ever seen the Robonic Stooges? Yeah. I just said yes. Do you know what that is?

Julian, would you fuck the crab from Moana? Sure. He said he wanted to fuck the Hydra from Hercules. That was a cool scene. They drew its mouth. How do you fuck it? They drew it a really sexy mouth. it's mouth how do you fuck it they drew it a really sexy mouth he's got like really pouty lips

I thought it was a 3D model it's a 3D model you know what no I shouldn't say that because I think that might be misattributing a quote I feel like I heard that there was a quote from Gerald Scarfe who was the character designer Gerald?

did I say Gerald? No, just that name sounds odd to me. Gerald. It's a name. I mean, it's like there's Jared and then there's Harold. And then there's Gerald. It doesn't sound like a real fucking name. Gerald.

I like mushing names together. I think it sounds really funny. You did Shepiphany. Shepiphany is not... That was just me going Epiphany because it sounds like a... I meant for it to sound like a really trashy name. Like how certain people...

Shut up! They like... Listen, white people too. They like naming their kids after words that they don't understand. Like Shepiphany. I just thought Epiphany and then I put sure because that's the that's just the go-to sound of like making You know those people no It's what you're trying to make something sound dumb. You just put sure like when I mean white people white people do that, right? Yeah, I would say like ding dong shmink shmong. That's what you would do to make something sound

Are you being offensive against Chinese people now? What are you doing? Julian, you need to settle down. I don't even remember what we were talking about. First you're praising the ableist chicken, now this. Oh my god. Okay, Julian, how would you fuck the Hydra? I don't know.

Getting back on track. You could probably... It's got an asshole. It's got an asshole. That's a good point. It's an animal. Yeah, he could fucking crawl inside of it. The thing the thing is though i want to take advantage of the mouth why that sharp teeth that's kind of fun i like that but when hercules went inside i mean that's

that scene that looked really that looks that looked pretty i think for for people for people who like vor that probably did a lot for them because it was very like goopy and like it was very like i remember it looking very like goopy and like it was very like I remember it looking very like slick yeah and you're watching and you went oh if only me I would I would fuck its mouth that's what I would do how big do you think your penis is

listen that's kind of what makes it fun is that it's a big giant creature it's a puzzle it's like a puzzle giant creature and you're making it do something degrading that's a super power well you can transfer all those body mass directly into it listen that's It's a giant creature and you're making it do something degrading. That's his superpower. Well. He can transfer all his body mass directly into it. Listen, that's not too far from something that I would probably actually enjoy. Oh, Julian.

Learn a little more about Julian every day. I'm sorry. I didn't want to talk about it. Let's change subjects. I didn't want to talk about it. It's fun to talk about, but I don't want to bring it up because that makes me one-dimensional. And people already say that. It makes you like five-dimensional.

Oh, Julian always talks about how gay he is, and I'm sorry. What does fucking Hydra have to do with being gay? What are you talking about? Everything. That's the gay community. You don't talk about... Hydra's huge in the gay community. You know what?

That's true. That's a good point. They don't define what gender... If it was a lady, I would still fuck it. It doesn't matter what gender an animal is. You're still fucking an animal. That's true. That's good. That's a good point. I'm shameful in any

capacity. There's a few people who were probably actually kind of taken aback by what I was just saying. Whoa, I didn't know they were so close-minded. Yeah, I've never actually thought about that. Now I have, so. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm like, whoa, I didn't know they were so close-minded. Yeah, I've never actually thought about that. Now I have, so thank you.

You're welcome. I'm glad I could do you that service. That's the song. We pulled it back together. Full circle. Full circle. Yes.

Woo-hoo. Look at those waveforms. Those are huge. What do you guys want to talk about? You. Matt. How have you been? Good. That? You. Matt. How have you been? Good. That's good.

Matt, why are you so skinny? He's beefing up. I've been going to the gym like every day. That's true. You flexed your bicep. And you made a weird face. Muscle does weird things to me, okay? Julian. Julian! That's all it is. What are you talking about?

No, no, don't answer that. Don't go any further. We're good. King Don, did you like my muscle? Do you think it looked good? It looked disgusting. Do it again. Well, it's because you're... Yes, see, look at that.

It's because it's like separated. Like Matt. If I zoomed in on that and cropped it out... He doesn't have any body fat. So you see all the delineations. That's what it's like. It's like someone cut his skin open and just jammed like a smartphone in there. You can't bulk it out.

Smartphone. No, it looks like they took one of those, like, you know, the Joker bomb in the Dark Knight. It's like they just put that, you know, with the guy's stomach. I was going to say, like, from like the gel pads for a desk to put your wrist on for like using the mouse. How much can you bench, big boy? I don't bench. I don't know.

You don't bench? I don't bench. They don't have a bench machine thing where I work. What do they have in here? Because I'm jealous. I'm jealous that you guys have access to a gym, but I don't know if they actually have anything I can make use of. What do they have? They got this thing where they got the cankle crunch. What do they have? They got this thing where you...

They got the cankle cruncher. So they have like the machines, but not like loose weights. No, they got loose weights. They don't have the big ones that you got to like bench. The tug and pull. Yeah, they got the tug and pull. They got the twist and spin. The wacky sack.

The twist and shout. The slimy slander. They got the up, up and away. The twist and shout. The slimy slander. They got the up, up, and away? I want... If I had time, I would draw all these wacky Dr. Seuss machines.

Someone else will do it and attribute it to you. Yeah, I did it. How about these abs, Ryan? Don't hurt your friend. I look good? Yeah. Yeah?

Pretty rock solid. Thanks, dude. You're welcome. Will you punch me in the stomach? Yes. Can I test look good? Yeah. Yeah? Pretty rock solid. Thanks, dude. You're welcome. Will you punch me in the stomach? Yes. Can I test my abs? Yeah. Stand up.

Don't do it that hard. Stand up. Do it. Do it right here on the podcast. Please don't do it that hard. Give me your palm real quick. I'll show you how hard. Just...

Okay. Ready? Ready? Mm-hmm. Ah! Oh! You flinched. I saw you.

Ah, it hurts afterwards. Oh! Pink belly. Ow! It's not... Ow! Oh, man. So, uh...

Did anybody ever do that to you in the pool? Give you a pink belly? What's a pink belly? When they go... No, no, no. It's just when you have your stomach out, and they just go... That's hard.

Yeah, oh. Well, people do it to my back. It's called a five-star. Okay, there you go. You spread your palms, oh, well, people do it to my back. It's called a five star. You spread your fingers and you go, like that. Hurts like shit. I used to do that to one of my stepbrothers. I can't remember, probably the older one.

I'd be floating on my back in the pool and he'd just, poof, right on my stomach. Oh, God. He'd go, poof, yeah, what I just said. Poof, poof, poof! And your mom would call him. Yeah, what I just said. Boo. Boo. Boo. And your mom would call him back inside, put him down for his nap. No boo today.

Bad. My stomach's hurting real bad now. Yeah? The pain wasn't there at first, and now it's slowly... That's after we just had a big lunch, too. It's slowly seeping in. Yeah, I punched you after we had a good big meal. I didn't eat that much. You guys, you guys...

You ordered so much sushi, Dan. Because I was expecting you guys to have a bunch of it. I thought you were ordering that for yourself. No. It was like a million pieces of sushi. Because it was good, wasn't it? It was really good. The Vegas rolls are really good.

I like Vegas rolls. There's a lot of places that have a 911 roll, and every time I see it, I see it as 911 roll. What does that mean? Is it like really spicy? It comes stacked up instead of laid out. Oh my god. You gotta take your chopsticks. Oh my god. That's why you have two chopsticks

we make a lot of 9-11 jokes around here is that like it feels to me like that's really edgy are they generally more accepted now like is that not yeah has it been long have i been sheltered it's it's very fucked up. Because whenever we make one here, I'm like, oh my god, we're not going to use that, right? But then we always end up using it in public. Well, it's like, you like testing the waters with your friends, just kind of like, okay, what's the most

fucked up thing I'm going to say right now? But then we put it on the internet for thousands of people to listen to it, ruining our reputation for the rest of our lives. This is true. Most of the audience being small children. That's probably what it is. It's probably because most people who watch us are too young to remember 9-11. They were probably born afterwards. They keep saying never forget.

How are people forgetting? Well, that's actually a good point, though, because if a lot of people watching it are younger, then they wouldn't have had any emotional impact. They don't remember what life was like beforehand. And then people who grew up with it get to go, you know what? I'm nostalgic for that. So it hits with two audiences. I'll never forget. I remember when that South Park episode went up.

Those were good times. Oh, the 9-11 one? Yeah. I remember I watched that on my sister's iPod. What was that big iPod? The iPod Big? It was the Zune it was the first not the iPod big it was the first one you can watch videos on it was that then you mean the

iPod video was it called the iPod I think about Nickelodeon's video now In your Gameboy, and it would play it really shitty a bit crushed. Oh you like you would play like Game Boy and it would play it really shitty and bit crushed. Oh, like it would play like a three second Nickelodeon clip. Yeah. Yeah, and they had like Very Oddparents ones and stuff. Yeah. It's called Fairly Oddparents. I messed up my... I haven't watched that show in years. You fucker.

Would you guys be on Fairly Oddparents if they asked you to be guest stars? Yes! Yes, 100%. Why would I say no? Like they drew you in little triangles. As Super Mega? Yeah. Like on fairly odd paths? Yeah, as the Super Mega logo. They call you slightly different names because you're fairies, so you have really big heads.

Like Mac and Brian. And tiny bodies. Mac and Ron. Yeah. But you're shipped together, you're dating in the show. That's the only reason they want you on. Yeah, okay, so that's the stipulation. You can do the voices, but it has to be that you're a gay couple.

I'd do it. I'd still do it because it's the Fairly Oddparents. I'd say, wow, I can't believe I get to be on Fairly Oddparents. Fucking busted. Fucking busted. We figured it out, everybody. No, no! That's a good recording for the episode.

Yeah, I've been really far from the mic. I've been in between two mics. Maybe if we had more microphones. I tried to move the mic right here between us. Why don't we have enough mics? Why don't we? Why don't we have more microphones? Ryan, I would be perfectly... Not Ryan. Fucking shit! Never mind!

Just say it, Julian. I always forget which one is which. Speak! Shut up! Let him speak! I lump you together. You lump us together? I'm so sorry. We're very different people.

That's really... No, that legitimately... You hang out with Matt more than you hang out with me. Legitimately, that's really... Ryan, you never want to hang out with me. You always say no. It's just because... He wants to stay home.

I understand. I understand because I'm the same way. Every time Ding Dong is like, let's go out. I always fight him on it I hate going out. I'm very sheltered. I just like being in my room. Well, there's nothing wrong with that Just know you're always invited invite all of us in your room. Okay have 20 people over to sleep I could I could I could play some video games for you boys. You can't entertain you Like a live let's play everybody. That's really exciting. I get a microphone in there put speakers So it's like actually like on yeah, put speakers so it's actually on...

We could play it out on the street for people. Project it out the window, yeah. And Ming can come and watch it. What if you went to a comedy club and you just brought a GameCube onto the stage? That's the future of stand-up. It's GameCube's live. You know what? I would not be surprised if at some point soon like next five years or something

someone stick it's a comment no it's a comedy club where the back is a giant screen and they have a bunch of consoles hooked up okay you know that's not a bad idea and so people go and they do don't suggest it it's gonna be a thing julian i'm predicting it i'm predicting it like this let's play comedy clubs that's really not a bad idea in terms of... It's an awful idea. It's a terrible idea. No, I'm not... I'm saying it's a good idea business-wise because that would be popular. Yes, it would be, but it's gonna... It would be fucking terrible at the same time.

Ding Dong, you are a Let's Player. Yeah, we don't want to be. Neither do we. Listen, I... Excuse me? I'm gonna make an official statement here. You're not allowed to say shit about BuzzFeed. I'm gonna make a...

Oh my god, Ryan. I see him, like, fidgeting. You need a fidget spinner. Calm down. Fidget spinners. Let's make a funny video about fidget spinners. Whoa, it's popular in here! Anyways. This came at a perfect time, this spinner thing, because Ding Dong bought me

one at the store, and I was like, oh boy! That's because... I like that... I need things was like, oh boy. That's because I need things to do with my hands. It's stress relief. I don't know why it became a meme though. What the fuck is that about? Is that just anything now has to become memes? Yes, everything's a meme.

It's Wendy's now because people were drawing the Wendy's girl. Now Wendy's itself is a meme. So if you say, I like Wendy's, they're like, oh, you're just going along with the fucking meme Our memes created is like a protective mechanism It's like these things are popular But they still have to be somewhat relevant and cool So to make them cool

The jokes about them are now cool I partially blame YouTube Because that's what people do with clickbait content Anyways they look at what's popular So that's why it becomes a meme Like the fidget spinner Now you have Freddy Fazbear plays with fidget spinner and calls the boss baby. Yeah, I don't I like I'll be honest I'm thinking by the way that did not do too great

But you saw the marketing like the the toys and everything they're selling that's making a lot of money I saw yeah the it review. I was surprised it reviewed poorly. I See it it I assumed everybody would run tomato has Did you see it? Did it? I assumed everybody would just love it. Has anybody else seen it besides me on this couch? I haven't seen it. I have not. Rotten Tomatoes had like a 38 or something.

That amazed me because no matter how shitty an animated film is right now, it always will get beyond a 60. Okay, Chris loved it. Did he? He said he loved it yesterday. He really liked it. I think he did, yeah. I remember I saw it on Twitter. He said that.

It's probably the second best movie Illumination has made. What's number one? Minions? What is number one? I'm curious. I think the first Despicable Me was all right. The first one. I don't think it's a travesty.

I just disagree with a lot of the- I'm not saying it's a good movie. I'm saying that's the best movie they've put out. I mean, they haven't done very many good movies at all. That's what I'm saying. They just disagree with I'm not saying it's a good movie. I'm saying that's the best movie they've put out. I mean, they haven't done very many good movies at all. That's what I'm saying. They've done Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2, Minions, and then... Don't forget the Lorax. Angry Birds movie, I actually

did the Lorax. Okay. That was their lowest point. By the way, I'll say fucking, I liked Minions better than fucking the Lorax. Well, the Minions had a Tom and Jerry kind of feel in the beginning before, like, the narrator kind of ruined everything and the human characters came in bullshit. Oh, Minions. Well, Minions had, like, that.

They're the exact same thing. Minions and the. I thought they were doing something. You say Minions? Minions. Minions and they scream and run around. Ask you if you skateboard. Imagine a bunch of little Mings in like a Minions universe.

They all go on the streets and lay 40 bottles. Sorry, I just want to make... Do you think, Julian, do you think the Minions movie would have been better without the narrator? I think it would have been. I haven't seen the whole thing. I think I've only seen the second half because it's all the shit when they're in England and they're making pop culture references. I want to go see King Arthur the other day. How was that? It was a Guy Ritchie movie. because it's all the shit when they're in England and they're making pop culture references. I went to go see King Arthur the other day.

How was that? It was a Guy Ritchie movie. I would love to be able to go and see every single movie. But since I can't, I gotta be selective. You wouldn't see Monster Trucks with Ding Dong. There was a rule for a while where I was like, I have to go see every single animated movie.

And then I don't remember what it was that broke it where I was just like, this is not worth it. We saw Trolls and Sing. You saw Sing on Christmas Day, right? It wasn't Sing. It was before that. What a Christmas. And I remember they had the song from Wham appear in the movie and some people in the theater went, ooh. Because that was right after he died.

That was the day he died. Yeah. He died. That was sad. It was his last Christmas. What was that? He died. Get it?

Get it, everybody? Isn't that funny? That's a shock. It was George Michael's last Christmas. He didn't wake me up before he go-goed. Matt. He go-goed to heaven. I'm sorry.

I like George Michael a lot. I got to also throw this in because I get to be paranoid about this every single time now. When I said it didn't do well, I just meant review-wise. Which movie? Boss Baby. Oh, yeah. It's all I meant. Oh, I thought you meant review-wise. I'm not sure if it made a lot in the box office,

but it's definitely gonna make a lot in marketing. I'll look it up. I got the phone out. Is there any way to check how much it's made due to toys and all that shit? Marketing people just make estimates by multiplying out the budget. Okay, let's see. Boss Baby. That's why Ghostbusters wasn't profitable. It has a 53 on

Rotten Tomatoes, 6.5 on IMDb and a 50 on Metacritic. What about the box office? IMDb and then you scroll to the bottom of the page and it should tell you the numbers. Who broke your phone? It's not broken. It's the screen protector's broken. Can I fix it, Matt? My ass is gonna explode.

Yes, Julian. Um... Jimmy Kimmel played the dad. Yep. Top box office. Hold on. They may not have the numbers. Well, they should, it's been over...

Here, budget was $125 million and opening weekend made $50 million. Ooh, that's pretty bad. Oh, wow. Okay. Gross by May 16th, which was yesterday, was $162 million. So it made more than the budget. Yeah, but that's the budget. But they were marketing it like crazy.

Yeah, that's true. It might not have been profitable at all. Because it happened to Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters seemed like, oh, they made a decent amount. It's because they spent it all on marketing. They spent so much fucking money on marketing it. Can we take a break so I can shit?

Yes. Fine. Shit. We'll leave it going. Hi, Ryan. Hey, Ryan's back. Hey. How was your shit? It was nice. Describe it in detail. Why are you out of breath? Huh? You're out of breath. I had to go quick. You had a fun time in there? I had to go very quickly. There was a man in there and, let's just say say it was a sticky situation.

Burning? Would you ever poop into somebody else's butt? Like the log goes in out of yours. Well, what am I getting out of it? Do you see my face? No, Ryan. Ryan, not you, Matt. What is that?

Your butt has to stay clean. I'm asking about this. What am I getting out of it? Is there asshole already gaping or do I have to like smush it in there? It just, it's, it's like, just luckily it slides into it very easily. Like a triangle. It's just about what you, how you feel about the situation. Like, do I get anything?

Yeah. Like there needs to be some kind of return. Would you just do this for fun? No, I wouldn't. It's a hot girl asks to do it with you. A girl that you think is attractive says, would you shit into my asshole? Yes. No, because I'm still not getting anything.

You get to be with the hot girl and see her butthole. I get to shit in a hot girl's butt. You get to see her butthole. The fact that she thinks it's hot. Buttholes are great. You don't want to be smeared with my shit. You don't want to pleasure a girl? I'm voting yes on this one, Julian.

Okay. You know, two straight guys the ladies right you shit in their butts right that's what you do ryan yes would you if your life if if if i was going to die yeah and the only way for me not to die was to shit in your mouth down your throat would you do it shit in my mouth down your throat. Would you do it? Shit in my mouth down my throat? Like I was going to die. How do I shit in my mouth? No, I have to shit in your mouth or else I die. Oh.

Why can't it be I have to shit in your mouth or you die? Because I'm putting this on you. What if you had to intake my shit? But you're also really horny and there's a hot girl who wants you to shit in her butt hole. So it has to pass through your entire body, come back out, and go into her. I see it right. My mom is sitting on the couch with her iPad, with her headphones in right now, listening to this. As she does with every podcast.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Watson. She's just sitting there just, I'm sorry. And my mom's just sifting through kids' pictures of me, just posting them without permission. Just going, hmm, I wonder which one I can post today without him. And interact with people that like Ryan. Well, mom, I... Her Instagram kind of looks like a fan account. That's why it's weird.

Congratulations on 1,000 followers. Yeah. I keep getting misled because there's like four different people on Twitter now that use your avatar and have names. Oh, like Brat Watson and stuff? I get misled. I see them sometimes I'm like I didn't know that's not me are you like whoa he tweeted Chris Chris uh favor did one their tweets cuz he thought it was you oh no no did he unfavor it no that means they're just as funny as you oh shit yeah Chris saw it was a big Chris

got pleasure was like this is funny Matt and favorited it Matt Is that more of me or Chris Matt you're replaceable No I'm not It's just the idea of Matt Watson Matt Watson is everybody's ideal Matt Watson is an idea

Matt Watson is It's a way of thinking It's a way of life Like nepotism Let's all be Matt Watson It's a way of thinking. It's a way of life. It's a way of life, yeah. Like nepotism. Let's all be Matt Watson. Anyone can be Matt Watson. You can be Matt Watson.

You can be Matt Watson. If everybody was like Matt Watson. You're Matt Watson. You're Matt Watson. If everybody was like Matt Watson. No, you're Matt Watson. It's my opinion that you're Matt Watson. Say it, Ding Dong. Ding Dong was saying something.

I get cut off so often. Ding Dong. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was trying to be real funny, man. I'm not going to say it anymore. If everybody're Matt Watson. Say it, Ding Dong. Ding Dong was saying something. I get cut off so often. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was trying to be real funny, man. I'm not gonna say it anymore. If everybody was Matt Watson. Say it or I'll fucking punch you. Jesus Christ.

I'm not saying it. If everybody was Matt Watson, finish it. Do we have to burp you to get this out? I'm not gonna say it. Do we have to sing you a song? I have made my decision. I'm not going to say it. I attempted it three times. This is the lost joke.

It's going to be like SpongeBob's The Lost Episode, except Ding Dong's the lost joke. We'll never know the ending, too, if everybody was Matt Watson, dot, dot, dot. What is it? Are you implying that it's a string of walk cycles? It's just Ding Dong flopping his arms? He's shaking his head. Do-do-do. He looks like he's about to cry.

Are you about to cry? Do-do-do. Go cry? Go cry? Yeah, what if Ming walked in? What, your mom's gonna cry? I'd be really happy if Ming walked in. Have you ever seen her before?

Have we shown you? I thought I saw... You thought you did. It wasn't her, though. Okay. She does not have dreads. I'll send you a video next time I see her in the end. You want to see a video of her right now?

Yeah, I do. It's slow motion. I sent you a bunch of videos. I forgot to save them. This is her screaming in slow motion. In a group with you and Christian on Instagram. I could get along with Ming. I can scream. This is Ming screaming in-

Play. Have two channels. Have Ming sings and Ming screams. That's- there you go. Oh my god. Do you have it not in slow motion? No, I only have it in slow motion. Can you pitch it down? So we can hear her actual scream? You know what, that might have been me screaming.

Why were you screaming at her? You see, she's doing shit. She's casting spells. Yeah, she's fucking casting spells out there. She's a cave wizard. She's doing counter spells. Someone's trying to cast bad spells cave wizard. She's doing counter spells. Someone's trying to cast bad spells on her and she's doing counter spells. That's what she does. She's saving her life every day.

She's putting a circle of protection around your apartment. This is her mannerisms. No one can see this, man. That's what she does, right? Yeah, she's very sassy. That sounds very entertaining. She's like a homeless... How does she have that much energy?

Because she's on meth! Methamphetamine! I'd get tired. Okay, what if that is what she's doing? She's doing protection spells this whole time. That's why she's putting the glass bottles in the street. That's to protect you. It's part of rituals and shit.

Yeah, it's a force of charm. What if she's specifically protecting us? She goes, wall of glass! And then she puts a bottle down. She's letting genies free to protect the... Dude, what if just one day we looked out in the alleyway and Ming is out there and she doesn't think anyone's around? And she just shoots a little fireball out of her palm. Like, just for the hell of it?

Like, just shoots little sparks. I would freak out. Remember that time I told you what would you do if you were walking through the alley, you looked up to the right and on the building she was like creepily attached like Spider-Man to the side of the building? Her head was like 180 around. Yeah. What are those

sound effects they use for spiders? How do they do that sound? I hate the bug sounds they use where it's like I can't do it. It's like crackling and slimy. Yeah. Like in the close-ups of the nature documentaries where it's like where they add like the ant sound effects Yeah, I used to think those were actually ant sounds like ants made those sounds up close They got a little boom. They got a little tiny little a tiny little boom microphone He's running on it's a full no. It's a full-sized man like a regular person

And he has to hold this tiny little easers Now I want to make a tiny camera crew and like go out and take a picture of uh filming little ants ding dong finish that joke if everyone was matt watson wasn't even a joke to be everyone was matt watson finish the thought no we'll get it out of you someday you never get it you never get it now if you're gonna cut it off three times in a row... I didn't! Julian cut it off! I didn't say shit! I was listening! I'm not gonna say it. I'm sorry.

Look what you've done, Julian. You fucked us over for the last time. This happened earlier! And everyone's gonna notice it in the podcast. I tried to speak ten different times. We all tried to speak and we all talked over each other. I'm gonna talk over you now! How about that? That's what it is! Now I'm gonna do it again! No!

No! No! We all talk over each other. I'm gonna talk over you now, how about that? That's a good joke. Can you fit three? Hey, now we each get a microphone, though. Can we have four? Four microphones, maybe? Let's talk about why we're missing microphones. Because a little someone by the name of Vernon Shaw came in right before, you know, Wednesday is when we record Super Mega every week, and Vernon came in and said, I'm gonna have to take these mics and stole the mics. Can this be in the video?

Yeah. Please. Yeah, it could be in the video. It deserves to be in the video. I'm calling Vernon out. Did you hear that? Respond, ACV Play. It's actually pronounced Jif. Yeah, bullshit. You, it could be in the video. It deserves to be in the video. I'm calling Vernon out! Did you hear that? Respond, AC Vu Play. It's actually pronounced Jif. Yeah, bullshit. You know what? Gif. It's called, it's called Graphic!

Graph! Ggh! Drap! Not G! Yeah, Drap! Just because he made a word doesn't know he knows how to pronounce it! Just cause the fucking stupid creator! He's an old, senile, stupid, idiot man! For those who don't know, the creator of Gifs said that it's pronounced jif he's been saying he doesn't know shit that's so stupid it's gif i'm sorry gif and then after saying that he made a stinky in his diaper it's an oh he's just embarrassed because he messed up his own fucking word and now he's like trying to backtrack he's too prideful he's too prideful he wants attention he wants attention he wants attention he going to make a YouTube video.

Whoa, whoa. And he's back, everybody. Okay. Julian, my man. Get back on the couch. Dying without me. Get back on. Julian, is it gif or jif?

It's gif, right? Okay, good. Oh, thank God. Is it ghoulian or julian? It's ghoulian. Because I'm a ghoul. It's grueling Little grueling. What do you think about me? I love it. I love oatmeal brown Oh, I brown brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal meal is like the thing and I hate the most is it really all for me I Julie and I love oatmeal. I hate I like dinosaur eggs. You like dinosaur egg oatmeal at least I've heard of it

I've never had it what have you like dinosaur eggs. You like dinosaur egg oatmeal at least? I've heard of it. I've never had it. What? Have you had dinosaur eggs, Ding Dong? It's good stuff. What do you think of oatmeal baths? I've never had one. Isn't that for chicken pox? Probably.

Yes, for chicken pox. I think, yeah, I had an oatmeal bath when I was a kid. Yeah, it's because your parents were trying to cook you. Yeah. That's why I'm so big in meat. Trying to make grullion. My favorite dish. Put gr julien in a big bathtub. Am I your favorite dish Matt?

I'll take a bowl of gruelian please. Okay hold on, wait. Gruel is the uh, it's like the stuff they ate in Oliver Twist right? And it's also cum coming out of a vagina right? What? I've never heard that. You could say that about cum too. I've never heard that. No, I'm serious. Gru's gruel is a I'm not

I read it on Urban Dictionary It said Hillary Clinton is devil. Well, this just says gruel is a portmanteau of the words great and cool What? This word was accidentally- The fuck is that? Who says that? Did you misspell it? Who says gruel, dude? No, no, no. Gruel is when gross stuff's coming out of the pussy. I've never heard that once ever. There's a whole subreddit for it. No, there isn't.

Isn't that just called cream pie? Chris called you gruelian and Chris and I both laughed about it. Because we both figured it out. Because it sounds funny. No, I'm going to call Chris right now and ask him what gruel is. Call him right now. Put it on speakerphone for the podcast guys stop talking

it said what restaurants can call Chris hold on call Chris stop talking when she's trying to listen alright I'll prove this he probably does know because it's an urban dictionary thing it's a real thing is it in a dictionary somewhere

put your phone up it's gotta be picked up by the mic hey Chris thing. It's a real thing. Is it in a dictionary somewhere? Put your phone up. It's on speakerphone. It's gotta be picked up by the mic. It is. Hello? Hey Chris. I got a question. Do you know what gruel is? What? Do you know what gruel is? Yes?

What is it? The shit that comes out of a pussy. I told you! I told you! I didn't make it up! What the fuck? Alright, thanks, Chris. Is that an Irish thing, Chris? What the fuck? No, it's not an Irish thing.

Why'd you hang up on him? He didn't hear me. Because we were done! No, we weren't! He said okay, and I hung up. We're trying to figure out where it came from. From the pussy. Urban Dictionary says...

That's not an official thing, Matt. Listen, if two people... Okay, if we can get a third person... You know what? I guess it's a thing. I've never heard it. Here, look. I clicked on one of the top things.

It says not safe for work. Let's look at gruel. Ready? Eating her gruel with a spoon. Oh, it's spelled gruel with two O's. Fuck off. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why.

I thought it was like G-R-U-E-L. I thought it was like how gruel is spelled. I understand that because- Oh, this is like one of those made up words kind of like when they do the whole like eyes for the pussy shit, like the googly eyes. It's gruel because you could also be like drool like it's pussy. Well, let me see how big this subreddit is. And let's see if gruel is-

You should work for the New York Times. Hey, wait, wait, listen, listen. 125,000 subscribers to r slash gruel. That's gross. You are so excited about that. I know. I'm not excited about it. It's because he's a straight boy.

He likes eating pussy juice. We stopped caring almost immediately, Matt. Well, you guys were shooting me down, so I'm trying to just show you I'm right. Because you didn't show me... He's really invested in vagina. I thought you just spelled it... I didn't know that the spelling mattered. It does matter that

what do you mean the spelling doesn't matter? Words are made up of spelling things correctly. That's a hylophone. But English spelling doesn't matter in English. Yes, it does. What do you mean it doesn't matter in English? What was that? What did you just say? Spelling doesn't matter in English? Yes, because what are you talking about? There's no rules with spelling. Spelling matters

because they make up words, Matt. It makes up words! Why is everyone a kids' fee? Because you just said that spelling words correctly doesn't matter in English! It does because they spell things like... Hive and give are spelled almost exactly the same but they're- You're tripping over yourself! Oh my god, I-

Fuck it, fuck it. No, no, never mind, never mind, fuck it. Calm down. I'm done. You're wrong though, by the way. We'll move on. My mom is probably still listening. She's cheering. It is Gruul.

Tell him, Matt. Tell him. You go, boy. My mom's on Team Gruul. Put that on a t-shirt. No, don't. Do not do that. I'll make it for your mom and send it to her for Christmas.

Oh, sorry. I choked. I thought you were doing that for... Too much air was coming out and spit was trying to go down my throat. For Christmas. For Christmas. I thought you were doing that for episodes. Christmas. Something like Alex Jones.

Christmas. Something like Alex Jones after he got out of his custody battle. Christmas. They're trying to take it. They're trying to touch it. It's cruel. Do you ever like cough and like you have the feeling that you're going to throw up because you're coughing so much? It's cruel.

That's spelled with E-U-L. I'm sweaty. I'm sweating my ass off. It is hot in here. My favorite animation that you... What? Yeah, Julian. What?

I can't speak. No, go on. Go on. My favorite animation that somebody made of you guys is the one where Ryan... You're saying about your dog. You used to have a dog named Casey. That's like 10 seconds long. I love you, Casey.

I love you, too. I love you, too. Like from The Vint? Yeah. I like the idea that you tricked Matt into believing that his dog is from beyond the grave he grabs his face like Casey

I love it is that on our animations playlist? I think it is there's some new animations that I need to add to the playlist oh by the way there's an animations playlist so go check it out there's a lot of funny moments there's a button on the page that any moment. There's a word in the animation

I am sweating for you Spun on the page that says unsubscribe if you click that one you cannot win a million dollars some bonus You get a free Barnes & Noble gift card By the way guys if you like this video and subscribe you can enter to win a 500 dollar gift card to Applebee's So just say you two are fucking vile. I watched that one video. Which one? Rice or puke? Come on, guys. Guys, come on. It was neither! What was it then?

It was a fucking compost pile. That's what a lot of people said. That's why it's on a tree. It's because they have like a bucket. That makes sense. They have a bucket in their kitchen where they put like plant matter and dump it on something afterwards. Did it look like plant matter though? It looked like rice and carrot. It probably had chicken in it.

It probably put like food that they don't eat. Oh, it's a bunch of biodegradable shit. Yeah, but why that tree? It's surrounded by concrete. It's an alleyway. You want it to be puke because you're deathly afraid of it. And that's probably why it smelled. And I want it to be food because I'm a fat, hungry boy. You know what? The thing is, I actually

yesterday I looked, it's completely gone. Like, someone cleaned it up. Someone ate it. Ming ate it. Ming probably did. With a bendy straw. She crawled out. She used her mouth parts.

She like, the predator. Like, her mouth opens up like the predator. Yeah, he scoops it all in. It ain't rice. Smile. It ain't puke. But it good. With a little hot sauce on it.

We'll never know what it was. I ain't got no love for this puke. It was a pile of her eggs. Oh my god. It was her placenta. That's where she, when she goes away for a few weeks, she's not going to jail, she's going to mate, and she comes back and lays eggs. Little Ming.

I wish she laid eggs. You know how amazing of a story that would be? Like, what if we went over to Ming's corner and just found, like, a... That's a scientific breakthrough. It would be a human being that lays eggs. That's, like... A clutch of them. Imagine going over to Ming's corner.

She walks around, there's a big pile of them stuck to her abdomen. You pick up her scooter and underneath are a bunch of, like, shiny little eggs. She'd be putting them in the car, Julian. Yeah, she would. She'd be sticking them right in the... I'm sorry for describing Ming as if she was an insect. What are you looking at? I forgot Gru was on my phone.

What are you looking at? That's very disrespectful. What are you looking at? It's Gru. Hold on. Is it just... He's got to get his fix. I'm not into that.

Okay. All right. I'm fine without seeing that. You did it, man. You sure proved us wrong. Well. I'm fine about saying that. You did it, Matt. You sure proved us wrong. Well, I'm... Being a little smartass today, Ding Dong. Uh-oh.

It's okay, Matt. Celebrity Wacky Fights by MTV. What was that show called? Celebrity Deathmatch. With professional Let's Players Matt Watson and Ding Dong. It's on right after Looney Babies. Looney Babies? I watched that show. Remember Lil' Bush It's on right after Looney Babies. Looney Babies. I watched that show.

Remember Lil Bush? It wasn't called Looney Babies. Nobody's talking about that. That's why we laughed so hard when you said it. You didn't call it Baby Looney Tunes. You called it Looney Babies. Who cares? It's funny.

They got fetal alcohol syndrome and everything. It's MTV's Wacky Slappers. Is that a Justin Roiland showacky Slappers. Is that a Justin Roiland show? The Slappers. Let's have a sit down real quick. Do I need to have an intervention? Give me a high five.

We're done. Sit on my lap. One, you said spilling doesn't matter. I can't forgive you for that one. Dead looking me in the eyes. Two, rice or puke, really? You think that's a good idea for a video? What an awful name. Come on.

All they... They just talk. That's all they do. All they do is talk. Anyone can talk. Your live action content is just you walking. That's what you're passionate about? You're just walking around?

Come on. You're right. YouTube is made up of the highest quality content. It's true. Ever seen Daddy of Five? Take some notes. Do fidget spinner parodies? We could be doing funny things. Fuck! Daddy of Five,

we could use a fidget spinner on your son. Hit Cody in the face with one. Get the hardest metal fidget spinner, spin it, and throw it at his forehead. There he is! I feel so bad for that kid. Oh my god. No, he's saved now. He's saved, right? Maybe. What do you mean? His mom might be

a bad person. Who knows? He's in, like, temporary. Yeah, that's saved now. He's saved, right? Maybe. What do you mean? His mom might be a bad person. Who knows? No, no, they were talking about that and they'll probably tip him back later. Yeah, that's the thing. He might go back eventually. Why would they send him back? For more views! Yeah! No, but usually doesn't the mom always have more leeway than the dad? Send the child

back! He's the funny one! The court system says, well, they're not as funny without him. This channel is not epic anymore. Videos just aren't the same. You should get Cody on the podcast. Hey, guys. That's Cody.

Okay, Dan. Blame it, Cody. Cody. You're making me get dislikes. Stop crying. Imagine Cody crying and saying, that's my purse. I don't know you. Guys, do your favorite celebrity impersonation.

Three, two, one, go. Oh, I am. I'm going to eat this hair. This isn't a voice. I'm the dad. Your mother is wrong. Michelle. There it is.

That's it. There she blows. Wacky Obama impression. Family jewels. Fuscus. That's it. There she blows. That's the wacky Obama impression. Family jewels. Tobuscus. That's not even a celebrity. Frosty chocolate milk shake. Tobuscus is innocent.

He didn't rape anyone. Except me. Except me. Guilty as charged. But I pardoned him. Anyway. I like when I make Ryan laugh. That's when I know I pardoned him. Anyway. I like when I make Ryan laugh. That's when I know I've done a good job.

Aw, thanks. Chris does your laugh very well. He does that. Wait, I've never... We were watching Ren and Stippy, and that one laugh sounds just like you. I've never heard you do an impression of your own laugh. What? That's me.

You gotta play it again. Ryan, try to imitate this. Okay, I need to... Should I step back from the mic? Step away from the mic to be... Did I do it? Not pretty good. Not bad. That was pretty close. Did I do it? Not bad. That was pretty close.

Did I do a decent job? That was very accurate. Good job. Very, very good. Oh, man. I feel like I just made Julian's dreams come true. A little bit. A little bit.

Do you think Tom Kinney's ever masturbated while doing SpongeBob? Do you think he's ever had sex and done the SpongeBob voice during sex? No. Yes, he has. No. I feel like that probably happened. Tom think he's ever had sex and done the Spongebob voice during sex? No. Yes, he has. I feel like that probably happened. Tom Kenny has fucked his wife and done the Spongebob voice. It's just as a joke. Like a friendly little...

And then she'd say, fucking stop it. She'd say, Tom, stop it. Tom, stop. Fuck you, Tom. Oh, oh. I like it when you hit me. I can't do Sponan shop's voice worth shit remember my classic impression

oh yeah that was like 12 podcasts ago I was just like hi Patrick it was the worst we put each other on the spot it was like alright we'll give each other an impression I feel like I remember that neither of us can do impressions well, so we were like,

all right, I'll give you a character and you have to try your best to seriously do the impression. And it's so uncomfortable. Yeah. I gave him like... We tried to give each other like the cringiest shit.

Want to do it again? Like Stitch and all that. Want to do it again? Stitch. Because mama Christa. All right. Ryan, do... Okay, okay, what's up, do Bill Clinton.

No, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Please, that's not my cum. That's not me. That's not my cum. You look at that cum, that's not mine. Mine has a different tint to it. Okay, wait, wait, okay, Julian. It's fucking green.

Julian. Yeah, go on. We're just going wait. Okay, Julian. It's fucking green. Julian. Yeah, go on. We're just going to random spout out challenges to a direct person. Yeah, do it. That makes it unexpected. Okay. Do Kronk. Oh, Peter.

Kuzco's. Kuzco's. What does he say? He doesn't say, oh, Peter. Poison. Poison. Poison. Kuzco.

Poison. Poison. Poison. Poison. How did you say? He doesn't say old Peter. Poison for Kuzco. Poison for Kuzco. Poison for Kuzco. Poison for Kuzco. Poison. How did you get here? It actually makes no sense. That was the best joke in the movie. I don't fuck Peter.

I don't know. Okay, that was good. Now you challenge someone. Now you challenge someone, Julian. Okay, Ryan. Oh, wow. Do Lois from The Families. Do Lois from The Families.

No, Peter. God damn it, Peter. Meg. Wah. That's right. Wah. Meg wah. Come on, keep it going, keep it going.

Ding dong. I feel like you could do Lois pretty well. What? Your voice just kind of sounds do Lois pretty well. What? Your voice just kind of sounds like Lois's. Because you're a nag. No, no. It's like the comments section sitting on the couch. They've made it. They've infiltrated the office.

Now go on. Ryan, you got to challenge somebody. Okay, Matt. Do Gru from Despicable Me. I don't even know what that sounds like. Russian Steve Carell. Do it anyway. I am Gru.

I don't know. That was good. That was epic. Alright. Ding dong. Yeah. Do, uh... Can you do Wild Woody? Wild Woody!

Look at how you peaked the microphone so hard. I mean, that's how you do Wild Woody? Wild Woody! Look at how you peek the microphone. That's how you do it. It peeks in the actual game. It does. As he clips through the universe and into another dimension. I love how you can see a little bit of space in the back of his mouth. Yeah, exactly. He does that in the game, too.

You clip through walls. Shall we end it here? Fellows, it's really hot in like the back of his mouth. Yeah, exactly. He does that in the game too. You clip through walls. Shall we end it here? Fellows, it's really hot in here. It is really hot. Come up with a funny, funny ending. Okay, you come up with a funny ending. You do it. Funny.

Ending. That seems like the end of a TV show. Like when... Remember how dinosaurs ended? Yeah. Where they froze to death? That happened in real life, too. It plays the goofy music afterwards.

I don't have an ending. That's the end of our show. Leave him alone. Maybe the music can start fading in right now. How many do you want me to do? What? No, the music is fading in. No it isn't.

It's not. Stop! It just faded out. Doin' do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Come up with an ending. Okay. Music starts now. No! The music can't start until you come up with a good ending. No, the music starts and I say the ending. And stopping. I stopped it. I deleted the video. You reached out of the video. I deleted the file.

So now I can't even play it at all? You're going to have to use royalty-free music off YouTube. I'm sorry. I deleted it. Okay. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. Go check out Ding Dong's Twitter. And they got a Patreon.

Go check out their Patreon. Yeah, play Haunted Hoedown. Okay. It's baiting in right now. Go check out Ding Dong's Twitter. Play Haunted Hoedown. And they got a Patreon. Go check out their Patreon. Yeah, play Haunted Hoedown. Okay, it's fading in right now. Go check out their Patreon. It's called Wan Wan Games. It'll be in the description. Follow Ding Dong on Twitter. Go check out Oni Plays. All that great stuff. Thanks for coming on. You're always welcome back anytime. Next week? That's a good enough ending.

That's alright.