supermegashow - EP 48 - Ryan Takes a High School Girl To Prom

Episode Date: June 24, 2017

DISCLAIMER: Ryan does not actually take a high school girl to prom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Louder with Crowder. I'm your host, Steven Crowder. And I'm Gay Jared. And today we got a fun little episode for all you guys, episode 48. we this isn't just us coming back from going home to take like an hour nap and then coming back to record a podcast that's not at all what this is no we have it all planned out man it's it's 100 to the t on the list doing the twist we got it down doing the twist drinking sierra mist this podcast is that's how you know you're know you're a podcast host or a radio host. You rhyme and you're slick. You're rhyming all the time.

Dude, you know what? They changed the name of Sierra Mist to Mist Twist. Unless that's just a completely different drink and they killed Sierra Mist. I think Sierra Mist is still a thing. I still see it on soda pop fountains. Soda pop fountains? I know it sounds weird. I thought I would see it on, like, soda pop fountains. Soda pop fountains? I know it sounds weird.

I thought I would try it. That's not what we caught. I just thought I would try it. I did. I was like, let's see if it sounds like... What the fuck was that? I heard it twice. It sounded like a rat screeching.

That's what I thought the first time. It sounds like a rat. Yeah, there's like a... What was that? Should I go over there and... Yeah. Okay. And actually...

Was that a... Hold on, let me check. Was that a rat? Is there a rat giving birth? Dude, if there's a rat giving birth, that'd be awesome. Sorry, we're back from that. There's just a weird noise. Sounded like from the corner of the room. Was that it again?

I didn't hear it. Okay, well, there was a weird noise. Sounded like a rat crying out in pain or something from behind the TV that's in the room. Yeah. But anyway, Ryan was talking about Soda Pop. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. I got back on it.

I should stop because I'm gaining weight faster than Jeff Gordon. That's it. Oh, just faster than Jeff Gordon I thought you had some good I was waiting for a classic Ryan McGee Supreme God damn it I'm sorry dude It's every fucking podcast Every fucking one

You'd think you'd learn your god damn lesson Do you plan this? Let me set a 5 minute timer Into the podcast My phone goes off Mom text me in ten minutes I want to annoy Ryan I want it to become a thing

I'm putting Ryan through a little experiment Because I'm a sociopath and I like to test people That I call my friend Me making my phone go off makes me a sociopath? Yeah No I didn't confess I'm not making my phone go off But my phone goes off That doesn't make me a fan I'm not making my phone go off. But my phone goes off. That doesn't make me a fan.

My phone goes off. My phone go off. Dude, you picked it up. I'm proud of you. Of course I picked it up. We did a whole series where every other joke was based on that. My gun go off. Hey, if we haven't pumped that series enough, go check it out.

Blood on the Sand. It's the 50 cent game with Ding Dong and Julian. Really good one. Right now we're actually doing another series with them. Katamari and the Great Love Seed. You can go watch that as soon as possible right now.

Stop watching the podcast. Well, you could, I guess. Actually, don't. I live for these little, these Ryanisms you come up with. It's when you let me go on and you don't you Don't stop me. I love that. You'll be going on you'll be rambling I just don't interjectors keep you going because you don't want to be awkward

No, and you see you make it sound like you're like this mastermind just looking on this fucking pathetic lab experiment That's that's what that's why you're a sociopath. How why do you care? This is the third time you've called me a sociopath this week You know, you're trying to make me feel guilty Did you just learn that word? You're gaslighting me, dude I'm not gaslighting you

You're gaslighting me by making me think that I'm a sociopath Okay At every twist and turn Okay And just like that, I said the word twist Which ties it back to the opening of the podcast Full circle So, guys, thank you so much for listening to this podcast It's been episode 48 And just like that, I said the word twist, which ties it back to the opening of the podcast. Full circle. Good job.

Good job. Guys, thank you so much for listening to this podcast. It's been episode 48. And we'll see you next week. Dude, what a weird coincidence. This is seriously freaking me out right now. Okay. So while we were freaking out about that, that's it, the sound right there, that sound.

While we were freaking out about- It's definitely electrical now that I'm listening to it. Yeah, but while we were freaking out about the sound that we said sounds like a rat, then my phone went off. It was a picture of my mom holding up a dead rat from a mousetrap does she look happy? is it like someone who just caught a buck?

or like one of those people that goes out and shoots African wildlife and holds it up as a trophy yeah it kind of looks like it mom can I see it? she's really fucking proud of that but no isn't that weird though like as we're talking about the rat sound my phone goes off and it's and it's the fuck it's my mom with

a rat that she killed speaking of killing things uh we're actually gonna kill this podcast guys so thank you so much for listening we'll see you next week have a great day god bless psych gotcha gotcha again guys did it did it again oops i did it again as britney said so i was reading this thing recently about uh this guy who just basically traveled around the world for free on cargo ships. Yeah. Because apparently you can just get a, like a, apparently you can travel on cargo ships. If they have open rooms, you can pay them like a couple hundred or something and they'll let you ride on the cargo ship in a little. Will they? If you pay, yeah.

I would love to do that once just to see how it works. And apparently you got to do like a little bit of deck work, but not anything hard. That's what this guy said, but that's crazy because... Okay, I was about to say that's crazy because I was reading this article about this guy that traveled the world in 80 days. So that's pretty cool. Keep it together, Ryan. Keep that composure.

You're laughing at your own joke over there. That was the lamest joke I've ever heard. I love stupid bad jokes. I think the best part of that was the crux of the joke was you changed what I said to just make it just the title of Around the World in 80 Days. Of the Jackie Chan one. Of the good one. With Jackie Chan.

Yeah. And then you couldn't keep it together. You know that he was in the world in 30 days? 80 days. 80 days? Yes, I do. Okay. 30 days?

I always forget shit the moment after I say it. Well, nowadays you can go around the world in two days, probably. Nah. It can't take that long to fly around the world. True. I mean, it took you, what, like 13 hours? Nine hours to fly from Tokyo to LA. So yeah, I mean, you'd you, what, like 13 hours? Nine hours to fly from Tokyo to L.A. So, yeah, I mean, you'd be cutting it close.

But if you had a one-way ticket around the world, that would suck. Oh, my God. I mean, I would probably do it. Why would you do it? Just to do it? Because that's cool. It's like, wow, I flew all the way around the globe. Yeah, but who cares?

What do you take pictures of? Nothing. You'll be up in the sky. No, you'd probably see some cool stuff. Oh, for all you know, they could be, like, flying the plane up and going in circles. And then probably see some cool stuff For all you know they could be like flying the plane up And going in circles and then there's like Oh here you go And say wow there's the beautiful arid deserts of Mongolia

You'd be so high up you wouldn't see that shit I don't know tell them to fly it lower Hey could you please fly it lower please I'd say yo Cap fly this shit lower And he'd go alright dog And he'd fly the plane a little bit lower And I'd say yo Cap it's a little too low for my comfort. And he'd say, nah, this is just right.

Yo, Cap, could you please slow the plane down? I'm about to throw up. Imagine ringing the flight attendant and being like, can you ask the pilot to slow the plane down? I'm getting a little air sick. I'm about to fucking barf, dude. I'm about to lose my lunch. Can you slow the plane down? Oh, I'm gonna hurl.

I think hurl is my favorite synonym for vomit. I like toe jam. Get it? Toe jam and hurl. I don't know who that is. What? I don't know what that is. What do you mean you don't know what that is?

I don't know what that is. Who's that? Toe jam and hurl? Yeah, I don't know what that is. Do you really not know what toe jam and hurl is? No, I don't. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm serious. Are you Ryan McGee-ing me right now, or are you fully serious?

What's going on? Is he a famous film director? ToeJam & Earl? Yeah, it's one person. It's a famous film director. Who is he? Ding Dong has him. He has a shirt or a hoodie or something.

Wears them all the time. And? That's them. I'm going to look it up. You know ToeJam & Earl. Do I? Yeah. Are you sure?

Yes. What is that sound, dude? It's a little electric wire. Is there a rat trapped in the PlayStation 1? These people? Yeah! I don't know them. You don't know them? No, they look freaky. Ah, we should play it on the channel then. They look like they're from Osmosis Jones. Yeah, we should play it on the channel. Okay. If you guys want to see that, let us know. Sorry, I got a weird feeling in my throat nice um bringing it back though i think working on a container ship would be i don't know i feel like if i got super depressed and i was ready to just like be done with life i just like you know what i'm gonna change and i'm just gonna go get on a cargo ship and we're gonna go change into a new outfit i'm gonna i'm trying

to you know talk about my emotions. About, you know, my depression. And here you are making a big joke out of it. Yeah, but it's YouTube. They don't care about your real emotions. They want that fake shit. Alright, well... Get on it. Guys. We're nearing

250,000 subscribers. And I'm leaving Smoshosh i'm not gonna lie when i saw that smosh was breaking up it hit this weird like i know dude like string of my heart because one of i think yeah the first video i saw on youtube was the pokemon theme song thing which of course got taken down yeah and that was the first video to hit a million views i think wasn't it i have no idea and i don't know like smosh back when i was in fifth grade uh was when they were first starting out i think and i was and i was i would my friends showed them to me there's that sound again my friends showed them to me uh and and we'd watch i'd go sleep over his house we watched smosh all night and they they only had like a hundred videos or something at the time.

Which, I mean, that's still a lot of videos. Was this around the same Shane Dawson phase of yours? But, you know, they kind of are what made me start making videos in the first place. Because I saw these guys doing this sketch comedy and I was like, oh, you can do that? So I got a video camera and I tried to do it myself and it was real bad. That was the same for me. I was like, what cameras do they use? What editing software? How do I get effects

like that? And of course, looking back, they're all horrible effects. And cameras. Yeah. But for back then, it was like, what? Everyone's carrying around a Nokia phone that takes like... I remember first hearing about how they lived in a house or something together and they would just film around there. I was like, what? That would be cool.

I'd love to have my own place and film sketches. But I just started making videos where I'd jump off a porch and then reverse it so it looked like I was jumping on it. Okay, now that's badass, dude. Give me a high five. Then I'd use LS Maker and make some lightsaber duels, dude. Okay, what are we doing making Let's Plays in a podcast? Then I'd face my arch nemesis by putting him in and keying him

in through Pivot Stick Figure Maker. Oh, dude, Pivot. Now you're speaking my language. I know, right? What are we doing doing this podcast? It's stupid. Why don't we go back to making that stuff? Let's make videos of you jumping off a porch in reverse. Let's make Halo 3 Machinima.

Yes! Yes, dude! Let's do it. That's make videos of you jumping off a porch in reverse. Let's make Halo 3 machinima. Yes! Yes, dude! Let's do it. That's where the money is. Okay, I'm down. Halo 3 machinima, Ryan going off a porch backwards. Hey guys, we're here to announce that Deus Ex Machina season... The new season

is being made by Matt and I. It's gonna come out next winter. Make sure to keep your eyes peeled not only that but included in the special box set we're gonna include uh a rb and chief christmas special so we're bringing all of that back um so yeah that's cool the saying keep your eyes peeled makes me cringe every time simply because that spongebob episode where he like peels his eyes off when he says keep your eyes peeled and he just and like every time i said i hear keep your eyes peeled i imagine peeling my eye like that just like jitter a cheese grater on your eye ryan you just made everyone listening stop oh god why'd you put that image

in my i guarantee so many people doing the same thing as me right now. Sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, fuck, man. Oh. Oh, my God. I almost want to not put people through the pain of hearing that. No, it's fine.

No, I'll leave it in. I'll leave it in. It's fine. Let Ryan know how you feel about that one in the comments. Dude. There's going to be a lot of comments that are like, Matt, you're a little bitch. There's probably going to be some calling me a little bitch. Yeah.

I was going to say, let's come up with more visceral things like that. But then I decided that is not a good way to keep people listening to the podcast. What were we talking about? I don't know. That thing, that fucking squeaking noise keeps resetting my brain. I know. Every time I hear it, I like, what? And then I have to work my

way back to the conversation. Ryan, we haven't had one coherent conversation on this podcast yet. This is gonna be just, can we just call this one the fever dream? Sure. Because it's just a bunch of fucking nonsense. It's like, we start to have a conversation and then that noise happens and it derails my train of thought and sends me somewhere

else. It's making me crazy, dude. I don't know what the fuck is going on. Okay, where is it coming from? I don't know. Can we figure out where it's coming from? If I had to guess, it looks like it's coming from the original Xbox, like that area. Yeah, it's like coming over right there.

Okay. I'm going to go sit over there and wait for it. Okay, yeah, go sit over there. Turn your mic towards yourself. Here. Yeah? You got to speak loud, though. Speak a little louder.

Speak a little louder. A little louder with Crowder. It's like something down here. What is it? The... Look at- wait, next to you. Next to you. With the orange light on it. This.

No, no, no. To the right. Uh, the left. The thing with the orange light. I wasn't- I was thinking like it's either that or this. Hold on. What the hell is it? Hold on. Wait. It's gotta be this.

The Genesis CDX. It's the Genesis CDX doing it. Because there's a disc spinning in there. That's it then. It's probably scratching the disc. You know what? Just leave it. If it happens, we can deal with the sound, okay?

We'll deal with it, Ryan. We'll deal with it. Alright. Sorry, guys. We're back. You know, we had to assess the situation. It's getting hotter. We have like 10 conversations every two minutes.

But guys, you know what? That's what you're paying for. That's what you like. What are they paying for? They're paying for nothing. This is free. It's not free, Ryan. They got to pay for internet.

No, their parents pay for their internet. So you're assuming all of our listeners are children that live with their parents? Okay. Honestly, I think we do have somewhat of a mature fan base i think if i had to personify i feel like probably 90 of the people that recognize um us or either one of us when we're out i'd say it would probably have to be like like, just a carbon copy of Jared Fogle. Yep. I always get handshakes from them.

Jared is always coming up to me in public and saying, like, hey, Matt from Super Mega, right? And I'm like, yeah, you're Jared. No, no, no. Nice save, man. Just stop. These stupid lamps. Anyways. Sorry, I almost knocked over a lamp.

Yeah, I almost knocked over a lamp. In the middle of my story about meeting Jared Fulger. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Continue, continue. Anyway, Jared's always coming up to me. I see probably two or three of him a day. Two or three Jareds a day? They're everywhere now, dude.

Hey, are you Matt Watson? Yes, I am, from Super Mecca. Okay. Look, I was just walking by and I noticed you and I couldn't, I couldn't believe it. I mean,

I really, I really like Super Mega. I really enjoy your content. Thank you. That really means a lot. Glad you like it. Would you, would you want to take a picture?

Yeah, of course. Okay. Let's, I'll get over here. Let's get in. Sorry, I was just jogging, so that's why I'm all.

That's fine, man. So I'm all. Here, ready? Sorry if I smell. It's okay. Here, I'll take the picture. I was just jogging so that's why I'm all That's fine man Sorry if I smell It's okay here I'll take the picture I got a longer arm No no no I want to Alright ready No that one's a little too blurry You want another one? Alright ready

3, 2, 1 That's good Thank you so much If you ever need anything Or anyone, just give me a call. Yeah, sure, man. Nice to meet you. What's your name again? Jared.

Jared? Yeah, man. I know you work for the Game Grumps. Yeah, I do. So, I mean, I never thought that I'd meet someone that could open doors for me in other ways. But if you ever need another editor or something... Oh, man, I think we're good. But thanks for the offer, man.

That really means a lot that you would... Yeah, okay. Bye, Matt. See you, man. Have a good day. Yes. Part of that was based on a legit conversation I had while I was walking through the mall. This kid came up to me and he asked me... He's like, wait, you edit for Game Grumps, right? I'm like, yeah.

So you know Danny and Aaron? I'm like, yeah. Oh my God. I just, I never, I never would have imagined meeting someone who had all these connections. Do y'all need any new like editors or something? He's like, uh, no. Aaron. Yeah, I got a new editor.

He's going to be great. I met him at the mall. Yeah. Is that Aaron? Yeah. Is that Aaron's voice now? Okay. It's me, Aaron Hanson.

I wish Aaron talked like that. What if Aaron had a minor stroke and then his voice was that forever? I would love that. If my boss had a stroke, the man paying my paycheck had a stroke, that'd be so funny. That'd be hilarious. God, Aaron. Aaron, our man! Aaron Handelson. Ha ha!

Aaron, you know, I know you listen to every single episode of this podcast because you always come up to me and you're always telling me how much you love the Super MegaCast. You love Super MegaCast. He's wearing the shirt that's not out yet he's wearing all sorts of cool things too he's wearing our snapback Aaron's always coming up to us in the morning

when we're sitting at our desk at work and he goes guys I just want to let you know I listened to the new episode of the super mega cast podcast on iTunes and on YouTube and it was really something else and I really had a great time listening to it but I would really like it if you guys could put it on SoundCloud or.

How can I listen to it on Android, even though it's been on, you know, Google Play Music or whatever it's called ever since the beginning and it's already available on Android. So you can, you know, please keep asking us the same question that already has an answer to it. But some of your episodes are uploaded not on time. Usually like sometimes a day or too late to iTunes. Sometimes honestly like a week or so. And you know even though I know you guys

get no benefit out of putting it on iTunes because you make no money from putting it on iTunes. Whoa whoa whoa. Wouldn't it become about money? Aaron it's not all about money. Aaron what are you talking about dude? It's not about money. Jesus Christ Aaron. Yeah I know. I just love money and I am gay. And seen. Oh hey boys. Oh. No no no. We're not bringing, and I am gay. And seen.

Oh, hey, boys. Oh. No, no, no. We're not bringing Brent into this one. Were you playing around? I knew that Brent would naturally end up in that scene as soon as we started talking about money and gayness. I'm sorry, Brent. I know you have the power to fire me from my job.

It's all in good taste. I'm the one deciding it's in good taste. So it's all good. What if, like, Aaron actually listens to in good taste. Yeah, it's uh, it's all good What if like Aaron actually listens to this one episode and goes yeah that joke about the money, uh What the fuck was that about Can't see Aaron acting like that, just imagine. I know. Well, you know, we're at our desk editing and he's like hey guys Come here. We got talk and he like takes us into the back room and he's like So uh, he makes sure like the heat is blowing instead of the AC.

As hot as it can be. So we're just drenched in sweat already. Yeah. Guys, I was listening to your podcast and I heard you were saying some things about me. You were doing an impression of me and I noticed, you know, it was all fun and games until you started. Yeah, it's all jokes, Aaron. And then I, you know, you made the joke about money and me caring about money. And then you made the joke about the gayness and that really wasn't cool guys uh we didn't mean anything by it

was just a joke there was no like correlation but you know you're putting that out to potentially hundreds of thousands of people nobody's actually gonna think that's true we just fuck around on the podcast and then you guys did this whole you know this really weird role play as me pulling you aside and telling you i didn't like those jokes that was just a joke aaron and and you know you just did this you carried it on and you or you said everything you're saying right now in this hey guys well the door opens and it's aaron yeah guys i just got back from the future and i was listening to this and i had to stop it before it started. What the fuck is going on? All of a sudden he crashes through the ceiling.

Jesus Christ, don't stop them. They have to make this podcast. What would happen? What would you do? I don't know. How would you react? I'd freak out and be like. Imagine being trapped in a paradox like that where you can't do anything.

What if every choice you make has a ripple effect? The butterfly effect. What if by us doing this podcast on this topic, we create a paradox somehow? It's like Ashton Kutcher's butterfly effect. Yeah, that's a good one. Did you ever see that? I never did. No, of course I didn't see that.

Does he die in the end? I don't know. I just said I didn't see it. Hey guys! Put on some game show know, welcome. Hey, guys. Put on some, like, game show music or something. Hey, guys, what's up? Welcome to the part of the show where we spoil the butterfly effect starring Ashton Kutcher. Okay, so as I look this up, Matt, entertain them. Hey, guys, what's up?

Hey guys, what's up? While my co-host looks up the spoiler for today's episode of Spoiling the Butterfly Effect with popular actor Ashton Kutcher, I'm going to give you some Ashton Kutcher trivia that you might not know. Okay, ready? Did you know Ashton Kutcher was actually the son of a religious zealot who had a little bit of stock in warner brothers studios so he was he made a nice amount of money to buy his family a bigger house that's some ashton kutcher trivia trivia for you guys uh couldn't be more excited to reveal the answer i mean the uh fuck the spoiler

to today's episode. Ryan? Evan travels back to the birthday party where he first meets Kaylee and whispers to her, I hate you, and if you ever come near me again, I'll kill you and your whole damn family. Kaylee runs away crying. After a montage of his memories disintegrating, Evan returns to present day in the dorm room with Lenny. And the two of them burn all of Evan's journals. Eight years pass.

One day, Evan and Kaylee, Amy smart, are walking down a street. Going in opposite directions. Are you reading the whole? When they pass each other, they seem to recognize each other for a second but keep walking away. He chooses to never know someone because he fucks up some lie. I don't understand the ending. I didn't watch the movie.

That's almost the exact same plot as Your Name. Your Name? Yeah, the anime movie. But thanks anyway, guys, for stopping by the spoiler hut. Take it back, Matt and Ryan from the Super Megacast. Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thank you so much.

That was definitely a very funny bit. Thanks, guys. I'm glad they committed to it. Yeah, they really did commit to it. I don't think we're going to have them on again, though. Definitely not. Speaking of Your Name, that anime movie, I watched it on my flight.

The one that they were talking about? Yeah. It was fucking beautiful. Was it? Okay. It was so good. I need to see it. I need to see that and The Red Turtle, I think it's called.

The Red Turtle? I might be stupid. Red. Yeah, you might. It's called The Red Turtle. It looks like this. This is what the movie poster looks like. You never saw it?

No, I haven't. A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island and encounters a red turtle which changes his life? I thought it would sound right up your alley. You like deserted on an island shit. I do. I love movies about being stranded and shit. Do you want to watch that though? Yeah, we should watch it. Is it out? Yeah, it came out in 2016.

Oh, cool. We should check it out. But your name, if you haven't seen it and you like Japanese stuff because you're a fucking nerd, you should go watch that movie. It's very emotional and it's very beautifully done. The art is insane. And it was awkward because I'm on this flight across the Pacific. So I got the TV screen in the back of the seat type of deal.

Like every seat has that. And I'm like, you know what? I got a nine-hour flight. I'm going to watch some movies. So I start The Infiltrator with Bryan Cranston. And I'm watching it. And then some titties come on the screen. Well, they weren't like exposed titties, but it's a scene where Bryan Cranston, he's undercover.

And the cartel people are like, hey, we got you a gift. And it's like a hot babe. So I'm going to cuss to a shot of- Like an escort? Yeah, like an escort. And she's, you know, she's dancing for him. And she's not wearing really much clothing. And then I realized, I'm in a dark airplane cabin where everyone can look at my screen behind me.

So I had to turn it off. So I put on this other movie. I'm like, you know, I'm going to watch Your Name. So I start watching Your Name. And then the guy, like, the guy wakes up in the girl's body. That's not a spoiler. That's the plot of the movie. And first thing he does is he, like, feels her breasts and, like, looks in the mirror and, like, j not a spoiler. That's the plot of the movie. And first thing he does is he feels her breasts

and looks in the mirror and jiggles the breasts. And I'm just sitting there. Are they animated well? They're animated very well. So do they look like... Yeah, they look like real breasts. Are they real or are they fake?

It's fake because it's anime. No. Are they natural? Yeah, it's very natural. Okay. But, you know... What cup you think we're talking about? Probably, I'd say a B cup.

Sorry, go on. Someone could analyze it and get a cup size. Yeah, go on. I don't care about that stuff. I was just asking because I was just... Yeah, but anyway, just think about this image. I'm just this white guy sitting on a plane. Does he play with her ass though? And I'm watching this

anime girl jiggle her breasts and get all red in the face and there's like a ton of japanese people on the plane around me i need to go to the restroom i think i got a poo poo so it's gonna take like a quite a bit so i'll be back in like uh 30 30 minutes okay cool yeah i'll just uh do the rest of the podcast by myself i guess okay i'll be back. All right. Okay. That was fast, man. Yeah. That was like four minutes.

Yeah. That's crazy. Shit really fast. Yeah. Anyway, I was talking about your name, the anime movie, where she was like feeling her breasts and everything. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

And I don't know. It was just awkward because i guess the whole point of the story is it just looked funny that i'm just watching this anime kind of porn scene on that happens a lot on planes like when you're when you're on a plane and like one of those scenes pops up you i i automatically think that if people see me they think that the reason i sat through this hour and a half to two and a half hour movie is just to watch this scene. To like watch a hot scene and get horny on the airplane. Yeah.

Just for like, like a two minute period. If that. That's what it looks like. It looks like you chose something sexual in nature. Because if I look over at a guy watching a movie and I see like hot sex on the screen, your mind instantly goes like, oh, he chose. Why? Why?

You know, he's thinking about the sex in that moment. Or do you think he's like, just kind of like not making eye contact watching that? You know he's thinking about the sex in that moment. Or do you think he's like, just kind of like, not making eye contact with anyone? Like, no, just go with it. Commit. You're watching him. You're just a guy watching a movie.

It's kind of like watching a sex scene with your parents, you know? Yep. Except there's a lot more people around that you don't know, which almost makes it, you know, worse because you don't know them.

So their mind doesn't, they don't know you. So their mind is free to make a million assumptions. Oh boy. There was two scenes that scarred, like, not scarred me, but I was like, it was the most just kind of like nerve-wracking situation when I was a kid. I'm going to go ahead and get it out of the way for both of us.

The rape scene in Lilo and Stitch. Yeah, that was fucked up. But what were the movies you were thinking of? Well, I went to go see Tropic Thunder with my dad. And then, of course, the movie begins with a song called I Love That Pussy. And it's really loud and obnoxious. And, of course, I'm just sitting there like, okay. No, no, I saw that with my mom.

Oh, God. Yeah. And so what I went to go see with my dad and my stepmom, because I wasn't old enough yet, I don't think. We went to go see Watchmen. And there's a very detailed. it's a naked guy right detailed well there's that his dick and balls were hanging out i didn't mind that that much that was that was yeah you didn't because you're a big fat homo yeah that's me ryan the homo uh call me at 1-800-RYAN anyways so there's a big sex scene in that and it's like really it's a really awkward

sex scene leonard cohen singing in the background it's like this owl dude and this and this mountain this actress named malin ackerman or whatever you pronounce it they're having sex in this like owl spaceship thing nice sorry it's like an owl hovercraft or whatever whoa dude i heard there was a secret chord that david played and it pleased the lord that the sauna plays when they have sex yeah and they have sex in like zach schneider slow There was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord. Is that the song that plays when they have sex? Yeah, and they have sex in like Zack Schneider slow motion. Ooh, damn. Do you see full penetration?

No, but you see her titties. Whoa, dude. You see his buttocks thrusting inside of her even though, you know, they're not really inside each other. How do they film sex scenes like so naked and close up and realistic? Patches. So they're pretty much just smashing their junk together with like... Their genitals are like still, they probably still get that stinging sensation. But no, no, no. Every time you

ask an actor, they're like, no, it's just the scene. It's about the scene. Yeah, well, what's his face? Tommy Wiseau from the room had to, I remember he had to apparently had to tape his dick to his leg or something because he kept getting boners during the sex scene. Oh, God. So he had to tape his dick to his leg or something because he kept getting boners during the sex scene. Oh god. So he had to tape his dick up. Didn't he write the movie? Yeah, yeah. He wrote himself

in on the sex scene. I know. You've seen that movie, right? No. The sex scenes go on for like 15 minutes. I've never seen the movie. There's several of them. I haven't seen the room. I should. I hate that I haven't. I've never seen. It's like this cult thing. You know, like, I have never seen it from start to finish, but I've seen so much of it so many times here and there that I've pretty much seen it.

Yeah. But the sex, I've seen the first half fully. I mean, the rest I've seen, you know, spots of. Bits and pieces, yeah. But, dude, the sex scenes go on for so long. I think one of the first scenes of the movie, if I remember correctly, it was back in high school, but. Are there boobs? No.

What? I don't think so. I don't think there are. Come on. I just remember, like, the sex scenes go go on and on and it's just music playing. It's like emotional R&B type. I could be misremembering this, but I just remember it was- I see you winding and grinding up on that pole.

No, that would have made it better though. I wish they played that during the sex scene. Hey, someone make an edit of that and send it to us on Twitter or some shit. Yeah, that would be excellent. Do it. Put some funny edits in it too. Hey, someone make an edit of that and send it to us on Twitter or some shit. Yeah, that would be excellent. Do it! Put some funny edits in it, too. Yeah, just make it funny.

Make sure you do that liquified video face thing that a lot of shit posters do. Content-aware scale. Well, in the videos, people liquify shit and it looks goofy. It's like they put it, not liquify, but they put it through that, you know in photo booth? I know what you're talking about. Yeah, they do that shit with the faces. They do it to a lot of ghetto memes. Yeah, but do that with the room sex scene and put that song that I was jamming out to.

And then tweet that at Ryan. Yep. He's gonna have a good time. I'm gonna be in my room and I'm gonna hear you go, I haven't done this in a while, but I'm opening up the garage. I'm blowing the in my room and I'm gonna hear you go I haven't done this in a while but I'm opening up the garage I'm blowing the dust off the old segway and I'm climbing on okay here we go god damn

some of the dust kicked back into my throat I'm sorry okay it was the best segway we've ever done to a different conversation you think so? yeah it was really good good job dude high five awesome've ever done to a different conversation. You think so? That was really good. Good job, dude. High five.

Awesome. Did you go to prom when you were in high school? Twice. Junior and senior prom. Same, dude. Senior prom sucked. You know what I remember at prom of the senior variety was they got this guy named DJ Kyle, just this goofy white man. Oh, I remember this.

To DJ the prom. Yep. DJ Kyle. And then they sold too many tickets for capacity. So just told people that already bought tickets, like, sorry, you can't come in. And then they told some people they had to leave because they were over capacity.

And people were like, no, we paid. We're not leaving prom. Some people did have to leave though. They did, but people wouldn't leave. So DJ Kyle said, I'm not playing the music until you guys listen to the administrators. So then everyone left and got refunds. Really?

The worst prom ever, yeah. That's not why it sucked. I just had a terrible time personally. There was a chocolate fountain at my senior prom. There was a bunch of fondue shit. They always got that fondue shit. Cheese and crackers and some meats. Were you the guy at prom that just kind of stood by the snack table

and would nod your head to the music? No, I had a date both times. Nice. The senior year was with my girlfriend at the time. Junior year was with the same girl. But she wasn't your girlfriend at the time? No. Dude, nice.

I know, right? That's pretty cool. I really went in there. You slid in, as teens these days would say, you slid right into her DMs. Yeah, and our limo driver was awkward because since we were teenagers, you know, making out was the thing to do. Did you make out in the limo?

Oh, yeah, but we tried to tell the limo driver because he had the window that you can see his thing. He was always like, he had it down. We were like, hey, could you put that up? He goes, nope, not doing that. Like, uh, okay. I get why, because, you know, he's a limo driver, and you're high schoolers. He doesn't want two high schoolers fucking in his nice limo.

Yeah, that's cool, but there's something creepier about him. Oh, he could have been like. Because we did anyways. We just, we, it was, you know. You had sex in a limo ride? No, no, no, no, no, no. I never had sex. I haven't either.

I'm saving it for marriage still, so. Same. High five. High five, dude. Another high five. no, no, no, no, no. I never had sex. I haven't either. I'm saving it for marriage still, so. Same. High five. High five, dude. Another high five. But, yeah. I just wanted to cut in there. I'm sorry.

So, yeah. I mean, junior prom was all right. Senior prom was cool. I had a good time at both of them, but senior year, I think all around looking back, even though I didn't like high school when I was in it, I think looking back, I really enjoyed those times. Like senior year. Definitely. Definitely.

Same for me. Cherish high school, high school listeners, because you will look back at it and it's like a, you know, like you won't miss like the hard shit you had to do, but you'll look back at like the kind of, uh of the relationships you had or not like girlfriend boyfriend but like the friendships and just the teachers and just the whole kind of just going to classes and seeing the last phase of your childhood essentially because you kind of still are like when you live with your parents like it's the last phase of living with your parents and i know it sounds awesome like getting out from your parents but there's like a weird uh party that

like we'll look back and be like oh man that man, that was really nice. No one brought any like – no one brought Tim Heidecker to our prom, unfortunately, or any other celebs. You see those stories where people are like – Yeah, they'll bring like Kanye or XXX to their prom or something. Did Kanye actually do that? No, not Kanye. Who went to someone's prom? Someone big. Cat Williams?

I bet Cat Williams would go to anyone's prom. He's so washed up. Can I DJ for y'all? He got in a fight with a 7th grader. I was a voice on Boondocks. Remember when he got in a fight with a 7th grader over a football game? Wasn't it like an 8th grader? He was a middle schooler.

I know. And then Cat Williams is just sitting on the ground and everyone's filming him and he's like, meh. And then he got up and walked away all angry. Did he get his ass kicked by one of them? Yeah, he got his ass kicked by a middle schooler. The funniest shit. Cat Williams. He doesn't like Quentin Tarantino.

What's he doing with his life? He was a comedian. Now he's getting in fights with middle schoolers and getting his ass kicked? Hey, stop trash talking me, bae. I'd love to have Cat Williams on the podcast and make things right. I'd love to beat the shit out of that man. I'd love to put a spell on you so you'd have Cat Williams' voice. I'm just kidding. Cat Williams,

if you listen to this, I don't actually want to beat the shit out of you in case you take that seriously. He's gonna come find you. Yeah, we're gonna get a knock on our door at like 3am and I'll be like, what the fuck is that? Is that apartment security? I open the door and it's gonna be Cat Williams and he's gonna dive through the doorway and just stab a knife

into my stomach. Then I'm gonna come running in with an ultra ball, throw it down and an 8th grader's gonna appear and kick Cat Williams' ass and I will make a speedy recovery and all's well that ends well. But yeah I do see that shit shit with celebrities actually going to...

Is that something like their agents like, yeah, just do this this once. It'll make you look like a good guy, okay? I feel like it's... What celebrity would willingly be like, I've got a problem with this ninth grader, yeah. Not me. I'm not saying I'm a celebrity,

but I'm saying that I've gotten those... You've gotten those, right? Have you ever seen at least one person that's like, Matt, will you get a prom with me? Because I've seen like a few of those. I think I've seen like one or two. Yeah. But I never know if they're serious or if it's just someone just being a goofball. Judging by some of those profile pictures, though, you can bet that some of them are serious.

You've gotten those? I've gotten like, I've seen like one or two. Would uh would you ever do it ryan no come on ryan okay picture this though in your head picture picture this this fucking 17 year old girl like in a beautiful prom dress in a beautiful trump trump in a beautiful prom dress she's walking in and then here comes me in like a black t-shirt, gym shorts, flip flops, and a bag of Buffalo Wild Wings. Like shaggy hair. Yeah.

Your hat's a little crooked. My hat's a little... Your beard's all messy. Just walk in. I got invited. So I brought this if you want to like just... Some wings. Yeah.

And like in the limo ride there, you're just eating messy... Yeah. Like all over your face. And I'm like looking like back and forth. I'm like, hey, y'all got any wet naps? You guys got wet wipes? It's like all in your facial hair. Yeah.

But they don't. So I just forget about it. And I just have wing sauce on around my mouth and on my fingertips for the rest of the night. You wipe. Like when no one's looking, you like, you casually wipe your hands on the upholstery of the limo. Like the nice white seats. I mean, like, during the dance, you get it all over her dress. Yeah.

Just, like, Buffalo Wild Wings fingerprints over a nice prom dress. Then, like, I'll just, like, you'll just see me at some point just, like, off on the side sitting on, like, some bleachers or some shit. Just, like, going at my fingers. Biting your fingernails? Trying to get the sauce out from under my fingernails and shit. You smell like cigarettes and you got dog hair all over you. And you see me just ruffling through like the bag

just to be like, are there any more wings that accidentally dropped in there? There's some mozzarella sticks. Any ketchup packets that suck dry? I'm imagining that if you actually said yes just because maybe like in this high school maybe like a couple kids would know who you are from YouTube maybe because they would

know YouTube but then everyone else would be like who is this grown man coming to prom with you know Bethany like they'd think I was the shit though they'd be like whoa he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't care I I'm kidding. They'd think there was something wrong and they'd have

to call a police officer. An administrator, like a chaperone at the prom would come up to you and be like, sir, are you here to pick someone up? No, hold on. I got a ticket. I know what you're going to say. I got a ticket though, so you can bugger off. I'm here with Tiffany.

As a chaperone at a prom, like if I was chaperoning my kid's prom and I saw you walk in with a 17-year-old girl. And a bag of Buffalo Wild Wings. And you got sauce caked around your lips. And like as you're walking in, you're just like taking the last drag off a cigarette and you drop it on the ground.

You just walk in. I smell of just, like, a damp cigarette and weed. You walk in and, like, hack your lungs out. Then I, like, jiggle the bag around to just kind of be like I don't want to see the spit You spit in the Buffalo Wild Wings bag? Yeah You take a cup and there's the punch bowl And you just dip the cup in the punch bowl

Put my hands in the punch bowl like with the cup Like they dip, they accidentally dip a little bit in There's like strings of chicken just floating in the punch bowl Now I'm imagining like you get a bowl Like you know they have a serving ladle for the punch. Yeah. But instead you're scooping it with a cup but you drop your cup on the ground and spill it and it's all wet and has some dirt

on it from the ground. You pick up that cup and scoop some more. Tiffany's sitting in the punch bowl crying. The YouTube idol that she invited to prom was a disgusting mess of a human. Then with her inside I'll frisbee her off a cliff into the sunset. And then she'll smile, a tear will run down her face, and then she'll go bing in the distance.

And then I'll walk away coughing. And that's the end of Ryan's prom, when he went to prom with a fan. Yep. So if anyone is interested in that experience, it's only hypothetical and will never be reality. You're telling me you don't want to take an underage girl to a dance? Nope. Come on, Ryan. No, it's fine.

Oh, it's getting hot in here. Or is it just me? No, it's getting very hot in here. It's not just you. Okay. Just making sure I might be. You were drenched in sweat. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Just...

Your face is pretty flushed. I need to wring my hair out. Oh, God, dude! Looks more like olive oil than sweat. The hell is going on with you? I don't know. Wait, wait, sit forward a little bit. Man, the couch is...

It's soaked! What? It's not even... Oh, it's shiny! That's just the material of the couch. No, it's like a glistening substance. What the fuck is that, man? I don't know. I think I'm stuck to the couch. What the fuck? Are you okay? No, I'm fine.

Ryan, do I need to call someone? Let's just finish the podcast. Okay, sorry. You know what it's time for, Ryan? Blue's Clues. No, not time for Blue's Clues. It's time for this week's Ming Report. It's been a Ryan. Blues clues. No, not time for blues clues. It's time for this week's Ming report. It's been a couple of weeks since our loyal listeners have gotten a Ming report and we got some. It's also been a couple of weeks since, you know, we've seen Ming too. She's been away again.

She went on vacation again. Yeah. And she probably went to the Caribbean. Probably maybe, maybe the Bahamasamas maybe mexico maybe vietnam went to atlantis as in the resort with the water slide where you go through the shark tank oh yeah yeah i love that place but but just like she has done countless times in the past ming has disappeared and then reappeared into an existence screaming and just as lovely as ever she has a new outfit this time she usually has her classic hoodie with the hood always pulled up uh gray sweats yep and just shoes i don't know

what kind of shoes she wears shoes just general shoes but now she's she's uh sporting a black tank top and some shorts just big baggy shorts just a big baggy shorts. Just some big baggy shorts. And she's not yelling as much, but she's doing some weird kind of like not kung fu, but some weird like... She's moving her arms all fluidly. Looking up in the sky. She's going down. She's making an L

shape because her waist is bending and she's doing all this stuff. Like an interpretive dance. It looks like an interpretive dance. But the screaming does happen every now and then like uh i love when i can hear it very loudly at you know 7 p.m or 3 a.m or 6 a.m you know any time of the day really she'll just start that up and be screaming and singing and i man i love listening i love it when it wakes me up especially when i you know i have to go record and I need to get some rest and I hear her screaming. I think she knocked over poor Push-Up's cart.

Why would she do that? I don't know. Push-Up's was sleeping. Remember, we were driving and we saw Push-Up sleeping. And his cart was fine and she was out there moving around. But then I go out there and she's gone but cart is pushed over, and stuff spilled out of it. And no regular person walking by would go and just fucking push over his cart. A car didn't hit his cart, you know, because it's off to the side. It's always off to the side.

Remember when she kicked up all that landscaping? Like, everywhere. She just went along this, like... She went digging. Yeah, there was some stone landscaping, and she went by and kicked all of it up into the street so but she's back god knows how long it's going to be until she disappears again and i know why she's wearing the new clothes she's sporting her summer look her summer attire it's the it's the ming summer collection from uh from kohl's pick it up today the m. We walked by her on the sidewalk, and she was, like, sticking her head out at us and just smiling like a creepy clown smile.

And she started saying stuff, and we just kept walking. It looks like she dabbed, though, too. She did. She did dab. I have video proof of her dabbing. Yeah, I think she's been on the internet, dude. She must be watching Super Mega. Uh-oh.

Not much else new on Ming. That's pretty much it. Nothing that exciting has happened with her other than the fact that she's back, which means next week there will probably be another Ming report. Odds are, most likely. Be on the lookout for that. She might kill my dog and throw him against a wall 20 times. And you're just standing there with your hands on your head going, oh, no.

Whoa, stop that. Stop. Come on, Ming. Again? What that. Stop. Oh, come on. Again? Oh. Was it the first 13 times enough? Ming. Oh, Lego.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lego. Oh, man. He's going to be dead after this. Oh, Lord have mercy. And she's just, boom. God damn it. Stupid fucking.

I just want my potion. Dude, she's like Eustace, but as a black woman. Yep. Exactly. Yep. What would happen realistically? We took Banana outside, my cat, and we just hand him to Ming. What's going to happen?

She'd bite his head off. Do you think? No, like, realistically, what do you think she would do? She'd take a bite out of him. Or she'd take a bite out of him. Or she'd, like, break his arms and then throw him up in the air. I think she'd start screaming like, what do I do with this? Like and start shaking him around or something maybe.

She'd only hold him by the scruff and start like flinging him around, you know, just like as she's like trying to, like, what am I supposed to do with this cat? And he's gonna be like bobbing and shit. He'd probably, she'd probably try to ride him. He's gonna tear the shit out of her though. Oh, dude, he would rip her to shreds. Imagine Ming versus Banana. That's a pay-per-view fight I would see. Okay.

I would pay for and view. If y'all want to see that, leave a comment down below. We'll set it up. And leave down who you think would win, Ming or Banana. Yeah, that's a tricky one. I honestly don't know weren't you outside once and ming threw a bottle cap and hit you in the head yeah i was hanging out with other people in the you know there's there's more than just her in the alleyway

sometimes there's other homeless people and i and i like them a lot because they down to earth they're down to earth they they have good conversation and i actually i legitimately like having conversation with them because they're cool people conversation and i actually i legitimately like having conversation with them because they're cool people anyways so i was just having a conversation with them and interesting enough uh one of the people was like her brother yeah ming's brother yeah so uh but she just had a bottle cap and she threw it up in the air and then i just i looked up and i'm like that's coming towards me and then it just hit me and fell back and her brother just looked at her and was like

the fuck do you do shit like that but yeah, that's Ming guys that's this week's Ming report you know, you love her, she's doing great she's doing great, we'll update you next week with whatever Ming antics we got going and since you guys have listened this far into the podcast, let's throw you a few bones

okay, for instance a series that we are starting And since you guys have listened this far into the podcast, let's throw you a few bones. Okay. For instance, a series that we are starting to record soon, it won't be out for a while, is a Pokemon game. We're not saying which one, we're not saying what we're playing, but we are going to start a Pokemon game. Yeah, it's going to be one of those just kind of like slow burning series, or maybe in the beginning it's probably going to be pretty quick quick and seeing how much people like it will depend maybe how fast we'll keep going through it but it's going to be one of those things that could go

on for a long time and it'll just be like every now and then we'll throw some episodes up we also have been talking with certain people and you will be you know what Matt? What? You announce this one you know where I'm going with it something that you guys have been asking for for a really long time.

We finally got it through our hard heads. We listened. We've got some stuff coming soon that's not on YouTube. It's something else. Maybe something that you can wear or put on your walls. Rhymes with perch i might as well just announce it yeah yeah we actually uh have merch in the works right now and it's not just talking like hey we got merch coming soon with there are artists legitimately working on designs or have

made designs already we have actually had meetings with you know people to actually get it in production so it is it is we're in the final stages it still might take maybe a month depending on how quickly things move but that is we have made three four we are three fourths of the way to having stuff ready so super mega merch is finally actually a thing that's going to be on the way um so i mean even in the comments if you have ideas for what you would want to see as merch, let us know because we always read the comments and we're always open to feedback and criticism, whatever. So more information about merch coming later within the next month. So just keep your eyes peeled for that. Also, we have been thinking about the podcast placement on the schedule.

And don't worry, it's not going anywhere, but we are thinking about changing some things up. on the schedule and don't worry, it's not going anywhere, but we are thinking about changing some things up. Uh, we are toying with the idea of possibly releasing the podcast instead of Thursday on a Saturday. If that works better for you, uh, tell us in the comment section below, or if you like, uh, the current state of things, the current time and everything of the podcast, uh, let us know. Uh, we're just trying to see what day would be better for you guys, what day you would rather have the podcast, I guess. So positive or negative feelings about that, leave below. We want to hear some feedback because we want to run our ship to our viewers' satisfaction, to what you folks like. So just let us know whatever

feedback you got and just in general any uh anything on the channel recently or currently that you know you want to give any form of feedback on positive or negative uh we'd love to hear it uh to make our channel better and get you guys to like it more so because we're as we continue to guys to like it more so because we're as we continue to make the content we want to make and like making we also want you guys to i guess have the easiest access you can to that content yeah and to and to enjoy it the most you can so any ideas or feedback or suggestions we're always open to hear that so we're always uh just working on the channel Even if they're just small little changes Yeah and also It's been the past month or so It's been a lot of

Consistent days of just kind of One series like a lot of days of Mario Kart Straight in a row or a lot of days of We Love Katamari straight in a row So Nice So we just want to let you guys know that Doing that is kind of we've been very busy.

And we always say this, but we really have been. Because we've been going out of town. But we honestly do have a lot more variety coming up. So we're excited for that. So get excited. Give us this month. Again, I know we said that the past few months. But this is the last month where we are both going out of town.

Yeah, July. We're both going to be going out of town during July. And after that, we're going to be back until the holiday season, so just, you know, a lot more busyness going on there, but July is the month where we're going to start, hopefully, putting out new series and

finalizing stuff with merch and stuff like that. Yeah, and we still actually do have some live action stuff on the way that has already been filmed, and we're going to try to do more regular P.O. Box videos, because we went three months without one. It's been like three months in between the recent ones. So we don't like doing that. So send us stuff to our P.O. Box for us to open up on camera.

It'll be down in the description. Yep. But anyway, guys, I guess that's pretty much all we got to say for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. Speak for yourself, Matt. I'm sorry, Ryan. Go ahead. sorry Ryan go ahead I just wanted to talk about