supermegashow - EP 51 - Stand-Up Supreme

Episode Date: July 15, 2017

Matt explains why Arthur was justified in punching his sister and we go over our perfect stand up routine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, welcome back to SuperMegaCast. Uh, as you might have already noticed, we just got brand new microphones. These are... We're upping the budget. I can't fucking do it. I can't, that's awful. There were a few people out there who were just like, wait, what? Did they really get new microphones that sound like this? Can you hear my McDonald's soda in the background? That's awful. There were a few people out there who were just like, wait, what?

Did they really get new microphones that sound like this? Can you hear my McDonald's soda in the background? Hey, I got one too. Listen to that. It's the ice. I got sweet tea, but it's not very good because it's McDonald's sweet tea. So what did I expect? Not only that, but it's not Southern sweet tea.

It's so sweet. Or from Zeke's. It is burning my teeth. Like, I feel it drilling holes in my teeth. Jesus. Creating cavities as I speak. Really? I I speak I get another sip of that sweet stuff Your teeth are weak when it comes to cold shit My teeth are just weak in general

Personally I can bite into ice cream Like full force And like it's nothing So I can't like Sometimes even just water that's slightly cold Will send like my teeth into a terrible pain Or anything slightly hot Like I just ate that's slightly cold will send, like, my teeth into a terrible pain. Or anything slightly hot.

Like, I just ate that, uh, McGriddle, and it burned the hell out of my sensitive-ass teeth. It burned your teeth? Yeah, like, it sent, like, pain that lasted for a good minute afterwards. Jesus. I need Sensodyne. But, okay, I did a whole tube of Sensodyne. Nothing happened. I didn't feel anything from it.

What's up with that, Sensodyne? Yeah, Sensodyne. And speaking of brands, we have a sponsor. Wait a second, Matt. Is that MeUndies I smell? Yes, it is, Ryan. That's the fresh smell of this very nice, cheap underwear. Cheap as in it doesn't cost a lot, but not in quality-wise. It's very good.

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20% off. Free shipping. Oh man, that's good stuff, isn't it, Ryan? Ryan, did your parents have any... Why would you do that when I'm talking? I'm sorry. Did your parents have any other names they wanted to name you besides Ryan? Uh, I don't

know. I think just... I don't know. They never told me. Dude, I'm sorry. Why are you laughing? What's funny? You just started laughing. That's just an odd question. I don't know.

I just thought of it. I'm Ryan. My mom wanted to name me like... I could have been a Tiffany. Well, I don't know. A lot of people say like, oh, my parents were going to name me this or that. But then they chose Ryan. I think my mom was going to name me Scout or something.

Scout? I'm glad she didn't because that would have been really dumb I think you'd have been a little shit Scout sounds like a dog that gets shot at the end of a movie exactly it does sound like a dog I would have a dog's name Scout Watson

I mean it's kind of cool sounding but at the same time Scout would be cool if you were already like an old man that's a cool old man name that scout he lives across the street and has all the kids over to his house for stories yeah like for me when i was young like it always i always felt like people's names uh kind of like it was weird like existed in the age range they were in i was like oh he looks like a george because george sounded like an old man's name and then and then like my name ryan sounds young and matt sounds young to me yeah like i

just don't picture like an old like an old man hey look that's matt his name would be matthew yeah that's the thing so when you're older your name is like i wonder if when i'm old am i gonna go by matthew or matt like will there come a point when I start going by Matthew instead because I'm older and it just fits more? Like, as a senior or something? Yeah, because probably most people read my name off of papers. Yeah. Like, nursing home people and shit. So they'll say, hi, Matthew.

Got to take your pills today, Matthew. And I'll say, bitch, I had a Let's Play channel. It was funny. That's very good, Matthew. Got to take your vitamins and your pills. Gotta take this one today. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you trying to do to my father?

Is that my son? Why does he have a Boston accent? Why would that be your son? That sounded more like a feminine, like, Bob's-y burger. But you said father. You said, what are you trying to do to my father? So it's my son. Why would I be the son? That sounded like a man. A father can can have that was a man like a man it was a man's voice this voice

i don't know what it was i thought maybe it was a little boy and i had a little boy in brooklyn or something do you have a little boy in brooklyn no yeah my so my name was matthew my sister's name was your name is still matthew it is it was matt now ain't no one calls me matthew these days matthew i kind of like matthew though what if i went by matthew instead of matt it's still more work why are you making people do more work i don't know just matt that's easy matt i don't know it has a weird like nasally hey matt weird sound to it hey matthew matthew sounds more official more grown up yeah but it's it's a bitch to say. Matthew? Matthew. Makes your mouth do a lot of work.

Matt's weird. It's like nasally like Matt, Matt, Matt. It sounds like a bird, like a big raven or something. Sounds like if Bernie Sanders were a Pokemon, that's what it would sound like. What would like Obama's Pokemon sound like? Michelle, Michelle. Michelle, Michelle. Okay, what if...

Well... Sorry, I was thinking about my sister's name and I just thought of the word Samanthony. It's just a funny name. What? Samanthony? Dad, why'd you name me Samanthony? Your mother really wanted to name you Samantha. But I'm a boy! I know, son.

I couldn't convince her otherwise. And I wanted to name you Anthony. So I'm a boy. I know, son. I couldn't convince her otherwise. And I wanted to name you Anthony. So we met in the middle. Samantha-ny? Is that the best you could fucking come up with? Why'd you do that? Everyone makes fun of me. Well, you can just go by one of them.

But then when they call my name out, every time in class, they always go, uh, uh, uh. Sam Anthony? Every time in class, they always go, uh, uh, uh. Sam Anthony? And, you know, everyone laughs at me, and it makes it hard to make friends. Listen, Sam Anthony, you're a sweet boy. Stop calling me that! I'm gonna name my kids Sam Anthony now. You little asshole. What?

Why would you name your kids that? How does it make me an asshole? That would ruin them. I have the right to name my children what I please. That would ruin them. No. It would make them into a strong... That's like the guy who named his son Sue to turn him into a strong man.

Isn't there a law where you can't name your children brands? Samanthony's not a brand. I'm not talking... Fuck Samanthony. I'm like... Whoa. Hey there. That's my future son. That's he's not a brand. I'm not to fuck Samantha. I'm like, whoa. Hey there. That's my, that's my son, dude. Or whatever that it is.

That'd be my son. If it's a girl, I'll name it. Anthony Samantha. Nice. One was a good one. No, no, just one. This is a good follow up. Um, I've seen Baby Driver.

We were supposed to see it tonight. But Matt wanted to record another podcast. Well, we have to record another podcast. We could have recorded it tomorrow. We have to record a lot of other... I mean, I've already seen it twice. We have to record a lot tomorrow. We don't have time to do another podcast. It's better to get things done early. But I do want to see Baby baby driver but by the time this

podcast comes out i care more about them than you do me matt you won't go see a movie with your boy ryan i'm trying with your boy i'm trying to milk every single dime out of these kids so we got to keep making content gotta milk them so we have something to drink at the movies you're talking about milking kids? Change it. Do you ever get scared by any episodes of Arthur? Arthur? Yeah, I got real scared of one when I was younger. There's this one where he gets, there's this part of the episode where he gets a really deep voice.

What? Oh, D.W. Oh, when he punches her? Oh, yeah. Square in the jaw? That shit was hilarious. No, that scared me. It's fucking Arthur

like physically assaulting someone. Yeah, dude. I was like, what the fuck am I watching? Little bitch deserved it. She threw his model plane out the window.

And he told her not to touch it. What did she do? He might have not said it in slow motion. He goes, I told you not to touch it.

And then it's like he fucking pops that little bitch square in the jaw. He goes, I told you not to touch it! And then it's like, he fucking pops that little bitch square in the jaw. He's getting so animated about about a little kid punching his younger sister. He said, okay, if you watch that episode, Arthur puts a bunch of fucking work into making this little airplane. And what does he tell D.W.? He tells her one thing

specifically. He says, this is very important to me. Did she do it out of malice? No, she did it because she's an idiot. He said not touch this she she did not listen she goes in the room not only does she touch it she throws it out the fucking second story window what would be what would the episode be without her touching the plane what do you mean there wouldn't be a good episode yeah like so she has to do it she has from She was created to touch that fucking plane. Her whole existence relies on her touching that plane. What do you mean?

I mean that she was going to touch it from the start. Like there's a plan? Yeah, there's a master plan. And if you guys just understand that the earth is flat. Remember the Arthur episode where DW's teacher tried saying that evolution was a real thing? That was fucking ridiculous. And then Arthur goes to the school and protests and says, I'm not going to go to class as long as they're teaching this bullshit monkey theory. Monkey theory?

Yeah, that's what I like to call evolution, monkey theory, because it's just a bunch of monkeying around. God, dude. No, but there actually was an episode of Arthur that scared me this is my whole original point it's the one where Francine remember her scary woman yeah she she throws up in the cafeteria and it really scared me really

bad because I was scared of throw up was it green they didn't show the throw up but you could hear it you could hear it yeah she watched like and like it pours out of her mouth and everything do you hear like the splatter sounds you do dude let me see oh let me see if i can find it real quick oh nice i was francing tossing her cookies that's that was good that episode really hit home with me but you're not as scared as vomit anymore no i did it recently so now i realize it wasn't as scary oh in tokyo yeah i threw up in tokyo but i i threw up for like the

first time in mini a mini a moon and it was a lot scarier ahead of time than i thought and then i wasn't too scared of it afterwards i'm proud of you thank you honestly you're getting over a fear do you have do you have a fear that is starting to be equal with that like do you have something that you might be as afraid of in terms of actual fear no because you know i'm a man i don't get scared of things yeah you're a big strong boy but um big strong man yeah like i don't know i'm really scared of cock cockroaches really scare me really bad i'm terrified of those little things so it sounded funny at first what did i miss what funny at first Did I say it wrong? You began to say cockroach but you only said the first half of the word Really?

You were like I was really afraid of cockroaches Oops Dude cockroaches scare the ever living Shit out of me I cannot stand them Why that's the most irrational fear you have Well cockroaches yeah I guess they can't really hurt you I mean they don't bite they don't sting maybe they signify a dirty environment and just kind of unclean areas maybe that's why i'm

scared of vomit so maybe that's why we currently are like people are afraid of them i think that's what their brain actually like apparently like babies will try to play with cockroaches and shit so they're not inherently scared of them that's that's something that we teach we teach our kids to be scared of spiders and cockroaches Spiders make sense I don't know why cockroaches are so scary though I hate them I think anything that's tiny that moves really fast is really fucking scary

And it's like they're dark and they have like a shell And these little prickly legs Oh and by the way You listening you know who you are Turn around there's a cockroach on the wall There's gonna be one person turned around there was actually a cockroach on cockroach then you're gonna have that person that lies so they can be the one person in the little karma whore in the comments there's nothing scarier than back in south carolina like because you know we got this metal bug those big scary fuckers like i'd be

about to go to bed and i would just see one i'd be like fuck and then i'd like i'd throw my shoe at her i'd try to kill it and it would run under like a desk and then disappear and i can't find it again and i'm like i'm not sleeping in here tonight i can't sleep in here are you describing a moment from the thing yeah that's what i equate them to they're terrifying i hate them but like has have they ever hurt you no it's like i'm not scared of them hurting me i don't know what the fear is i just can't oh i can't stand them like one time in the middle of the night it's like being tickled not like on the same thing but like you know you just yeah i don't like that feeling makes you cringe it's like you don't like the the way it makes you feel when you see one yeah no no no i guess like

i imagine them on me and they're crunchy and like what do you imagine them gross like when i see one i just get that sensation whenever you see gross. Why do you imagine them on you? Like when I see one, I just get that sensation. Whenever you see something, do you have to imagine it on you before you're comfortable with it? Yeah, dude. That's how I got to know your mom so well. Ow! Yeah. Damn, dude.

No, but I remember I was in bed one time and I felt like a tickle on my back. And I remember slapping my back and falling back asleep. And then I woke up in the morning. There was a cockroach leg where I'd been sleeping, which means there was a roach on me. That's happened several times in my life because I grew up in Charleston. There were like three times in my life where I've woken up with a cockroach leg where I'd been sleeping, which means there was a roach on me. That's happened several times in my life because I grew up in Charleston. There were like three times in my life where I've woken up with a cockroach crawling on me. And that's one of the reasons I hate them so much. That's such an unpleasant feeling.

Why don't they just need to like respect our space? Seriously, do whatever you want, cockroaches. Just stay out of my space. Respect it. Just come on. I have my bed. It's the place where i go where nothing can hurt me and they're going in there spreading their ideas and their culture and it just scares me i

don't like it but uh cockroaches yeah very scary thing yes ryan i've i recently watched the very first episode of dragon ball not dragon ball z the, the original Dragon Ball with Ross and Chris, Ross and Chris. And I really enjoyed it. And I want to watch more Dragon Ball now. Cause I, that's one of those shows that everyone I know is a big fan of, and I've never seen any of it.

So I thought I'd give it a try. Have you seen any Dragon Ball? I've seen like some of Dragon Ball, but I think I've mostly, I've seen more Dragon ball z because that was was that was on tv a lot more i guess when i was growing up or that seemed to be what was on whenever my stepbrother was watching it um but i could never i was never really interested in them just like i was never interested in power rangers uh i don't know i could never get into

dragon ball z or dragon Ball It all looked really cool Maybe I need to go in now since I'm older Yeah I want to know about it It looks fun I like all the characters The reason I got into it was when I was in Tokyo I saw a sticker of Bulma She had her booty popping out It's on my Instagram go check it out

But um I saw it and I was like whoa So then I'm like oh that's from dragon ball i want to watch it she's so cute dude bulma yeah she's a cutie with a booty you got the sticker like you like i can't find it online well i found it someone in the comments on instagram was like here is where you can get it but they were all sold out so oh fuck you know i'm sorry i'm sorry but like that's also one of those things i could never get into as a kid, but I kind of want to now. Stickers?

No, Dragon Ball. Like, I remember I really wanted to... I was into Yu-Gi-Oh! only to have the cards, but I never played the game or watched the show. I just got the cards because I thought the cards were cool. I played Pokemon, though. I didn't play any card game as a kid. I was a fucking little loser. I...

I... Yu-Gi-Oh! is... I feel like more people collected them just for the look of the monsters and not to actually play yeah i know because then you have to actually put effort into them but if you can just say hey pops throw down throw down a few bucks with that soda pop what and uh maybe i can get a little pack of cards and i'll get me a blue eyes drag, blue dragon, white dragon, whatever. I think that's what it is.

I had that. And then I had the little red one. What's the red dragon's name? Red eyes, red dragon, red eyes, red dragon. I love those red ears. Green. It's not a nope. Wizard stuff.

Blonde hair, black man. That's the one we have to get like the different parts you have to find the fucking hair beautiful blonde hair some tims oh man what's it what's it with tims they're just funny i don't know no one ever mailed us tims you're gonna get a psychopath to mail you tims you're really i'm gonna get a psychopath to mail you Tim's. You're really I'm gonna get a psychopath to mail me Tim's? A psychopath is gonna mail, like why would a psychopath be mailing me Tim's? They just have a thirst for blood. Yeah, cause they wanna

fucking kill you. They wanna lure you in. That makes no sense. How would they kill me by sending me a pair of Tim's? They're gonna send you Tim's and all of a sudden they're gonna start like, throwing in messages with the mail. And and you'd be like, Oh cool. Maybe,

maybe this person's cool and I'll talk to them and tell them thank you. Then they'll hook you in and they'll be like socially like really funny and they'll become like a really cool internet friend of yours. And then you invite them over one day. You say, Hey friend, come over to our place. I'm like,

Matt, come on. This person was a fan. What are you doing? I'm like, it's cool. It a fan what are you doing i'm like it's cool it's it's it's cool i'm just i'm just clearing i'm just i'm just he's he's cool but you bring him into our place and what does he do what does he do he kills you he murders you he fucking stabs your nose in and slits your stupid throat okay All because you wanted fucking Tim's, dude.

So don't put that hex on us. That's all I'm saying. Don't send Tim's. I changed my mind. I'll buy a pair for myself. Let me spend $200 on a pair of shoes. Wow. Why do people do that? Like, when we were in Melrose Boulevard that has all the

fucking... Yes, all the crazy like... Had like $6,000 like Nike sneakers. What's that goofy brand? What goofy brand? What's it called? Supreme? Yes Supreme. All the goofy people wear Supreme. It's like really expensive Supreme shirts. It's like a plain white shirt for $60.

Every time I see someone wearing like Supreme I like laugh a little. Like inside. It seems to be mainly Asian fuckboys. I'm serious. Like those are like the only, the main Supreme wearing people I know. Really? Yeah.

Like, especially, dude, when I was in Tokyo, every dude wears Supreme. It's like every guy had Supreme on. It just looks so, just. Let's do the Supreme logo, but it says Super Mega. It's clear under parody, so we could do that. Yeah, and it's got enough similar letters to almost look like Supreme. If you would buy that. Comment in the comments, because we're doing merch now, soon. I don't know if by the time this podcast.

A poster should be up. Maybe not this week. Not this week, but like. Might be next week. Soon. It's in production. You know who my favorite YouTuber is? Mr. Anime.

Ray William John. Yes, Mr. Anime. You like Mr. Anime? Who is he? Come come on you know my boy trey sessler mr anime the uh shake my memory up he killed his whole family oh wow yeah uh so guys next week we have mr anime coming on the podcast as our guest uh we're actually going when did he do this? It was Mr. Okay, he did anime reviews. He had like a bowl cut kind of, and he did anime reviews.

And he slowly started like putting more guns in his videos and shit. And he did kind of like nostalgia- He was in some of your older videos. He was actually, yeah. No, I never knew him. Just for people that don't realize- I never knew him. He did like anime reviews, kind of like angry video game nerd, nostalgia critic style.

I mean, not as good, but you know, he kind of did the little skit side of it. And then one day he just like killed his whole family and drove to school with a bunch of ammunition to shoot up his school. But I think he either turned himself in or he got caught. Good fucking Lord. I know. Now he's in prison for life. Can't do no anime reviews from prison.

Well. Kids, if you want to do anime reviews for a living, do not kill your family. That's a very crucial step some people somehow miss. Like, that's just a prerequisite. The prerequisite to becoming an anime reviewer on YouTube is to not kill your family. You cannot be one if you do that. So, let's just keep that in mind, alright? All you wannabe

anime reviewers, just think about it. You got it. Let it stew. Let it sink in. Ryan, what if Barack Obama walked in the room right now and gave you a free Wii Mini and walked out? How enthralled would you be?

I'd run after him to take the picture of the back of his head as he was leaving. No, but the second you get out the door, he's gone. He was never there. Don't even see him. You'd be here. You'd see it with me. Yeah, but he's just gone when we get out there.

And we're like, was that fucking Barack Obama? Would you be an asshole and tell people that it's not Barack Obama and have people think I was crazy? Yeah, probably. Nuh-uh. It'd be funny as hell. But dude, you would have seen it too. I'd say, yeah, Ryan went to Goodwill and got a Wii Mini. And then was like, now he's telling people that Barack Obama gave it to him?

I'm like, Matt, you were there. Matt, you were fucking there. We were both in the fucking recording room. And he came in. No, stop. Where do you keep getting this story? Stop fucking belittling me. Yeah, Barack Obama came and gave you a Wii Mini.

Yeah, Barack Obama came into the recording room and handed me a Wii fucking Mini. And you saw it. Okay, Ryan. Stop doing that shit, Matt. I and you saw it. Okay, Ryan. Stop doing that shit, man. I'm sure he did. Some serious dad. Barack Obama. Pfft.

That was a funny sound. High five. I like it when you do funny fart sounds with your mouth. That adds a lot to the podcast. You're a gifted comedian. with your mouth. That adds a lot to the podcast. You're a gifted comedian.

Did you spill your drink on the carpet? My Sprite soda. Dude, here's the thing about Lil Yachty. Like, he's one of two things. He's either like a genius or he has two brain cells. I can't, and when I watch him, I can't figure out which one.

Like he just comes off as like such a dumb dude, but I love him. They'll be like, so Lil Yachty, like how did you react to getting this fame so quickly? And he's like,

I just, it was all planned. You know, I, yeah, it was planned. And like, that's it.

It was planned. I watched an interview with him where they're like, what's your favorite food? He's like, pizza. Man, I eat pizza every day. It's all I eat. And apparently Lil Yachty says that he only eats pizza since he was 14. He hasn't eaten anything else. He only eats pizza every day for each meal.

How you doing? I'm pretty good. You know, I just had some pizza. It's pretty good. I've actually had pizza. Oh, my God. Every day of my life since I was 14. If we can get Lil Yachty on the podcast.

God, I'd love to have him on. Oh my God. Hey, Lil Yachty, if you listen to this, come on our podcast. I'll give you $5 and a stick of gum and we'll have a good time. We'll talk about stuff. Where's my $5, bitch? He just zaps in.

Come on, man. Give me my fucking five dollars. I'm on your podcast. Manny hands you a Wii Mini and walks out of the room. See you later. He nods. I look across the room. Barack Obama's in the window of the recording room and then slinks out of view.

Oh, you gave him one too? He's like, see you, Sprat Soda. Come on, Miles. I think that's his real name is Miles. He always leaves the room. And as he, as, as he like floats or hovers in, into nothingness. Give me that Sprite soda. It's a good commercial. Give me that Sprite soda. I like him a lot.

He's like 19. That's one of my favorite commercials right now, I think. It's just such an odd commercial. Give me that Sprite soda. Yeah, it's good. It's pretty good. They show up for movies at the movie theater. it's pretty good they show up for movies the movie theater what would you do if all of a sudden yeah one of your old channels became like the number one best channel on youtube

like it got like it just overnight went to like two million went past pewdiepie all in one day yeah right past pewdiepie yeah right pastPie. I don't know, dude. I guess I'd have to embrace it. I would have no choice. Like, you couldn't get the money made off of it. Oh, fuck. Well, but wouldn't that mean I'd be able to get, like, brand deals and, like, go on talk shows and shit? I guess, yeah.

You'd be, like, super famous. But then the Wall Street Journal would try to, like, take down your character. your character yeah they probably would speaking of the wall street journal what what's your dream company to work for if you weren't working for super mega productions incorporated an llc corporation company any i guess uh production uh studio do you have one that I respect. What's one you respect? Like A24? A24's good. I like... I don't know how to pronounce some of them. How do you pronounce the Christopher Nolan one?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It starts with a labyrinth. Yep. That one. If I had to work for any company other than working for game grumps right now it'd be clickhole without a doubt yeah fucking love clickhole i want to write articles and direct videos for them okay anyone listening to this works for clickhole people who work with clickhole look down on us yeah i know like they're so funny though they are

cool is like right now for me it's like the peak of comedy it's like that is what is the funniest shit on the internet to me right now they have some ones that are just so like painfully funny I love pretty much everything

they've done even like when it comes to like the onion and the movie reviews they've they've done which like when it comes to like the onion and the movie reviews they've they've done yeah they're always hilarious um but i just we've we've ranted we've ranted so much about clickhole before but it just always amazes me how they're always spot on with their representation of what they're trying to replicate oh they they get it perfectly every time like whenever they're trying to like make fun of something or be like a Buzzfeed video they get it down to the last detail how do they get these actors too they get the weirdest

actors to be in these videos but the actors are also good in the role that they're playing like when you look at this person and the context of the video it fits 100% like it doesn't it doesn't feel like a Tim and Eric where the jokes on the actors the actors feel like they're part of the joke.

You know what I mean? They'll do a video where it's inspirational. Watch this man kiss 10 lemons, then go to bed. And it'll be like an old six-year-old white man getting in bed, and he just kisses 10 lemons and then turns the lights off, and that's it. And it's like, what? It's beautiful. And then they have the BuzzFeed type videos where it's like, watch these people describe

the first time they tasted Gatorade. I love those videos a lot because they do really accurately present the problem that I have with BuzzFeed, which is, I read some of the titles to you the other day. Like sometimes just to make myself laugh, I try to just go down BuzzFeed's video playlist and just find the most just kind of just ridiculous just kind of just normal one day yeah like two strangers try coleslaw blindfolded and then go home like whoa dude i think but i think like punching on buzzfeed is punching down isn't it yeah i mean i mean they're they're a bigger corporation than us but i'm talking about like beating a dead horse i'd say sorry i used the wrong phrase bro 10 gifts of ryan mcgee that'll make you beat a dead horse the number one the one that he hates uh hold on ryan hold on hold on you know what you're over here talking shit on buzzfeed but who was in a buzzfeed article on this account i was about is about farts and it's

because i i made a a funny little tweet about you're in a buzzfeed article i know about farts with raven simone yeah not with raven simone but she was in my tweet because her her her uh like mantra is yup that's me you know yeah and so i made a little funny tweet it was hilarious i was slapping my knee when you toot in front of your friends or something like that i worded it oddly yeah and then it was just the picture of her and it said yep that's me and then just like two weeks later you were like dude my tweets in a buzzfeed article and it was like ridiculous thing because it's like what was the article even i don don't know, but I feel like the, the article thought that I was being legitimate in my,

in my description. Definitely. I don't think they caught it all that I was making fun of the exact thing that they were like thinking that my tweet was, I guess. Yeah. So it was odd to see that just kind of, all right. That was just,

did you find it i found the article you were featured in what is it called 31 tweets about farts that we all secretly relate to and it's an official like buzzfeed article too it's written by like a buzzfeed yeah buzzfeed staffer david bertosi good job david let's see uh let me scroll down until i find it it's uh a little further down hold on this person's admirable pride, and it's Raven Simone. It says, yup, that's me. And it's Ryan McGee. That moment your friends sniff that smelly fart.

It's just right there on BuzzFeed.com. That's your big break, dude. I feel like they legitimately thought I was a person who's like, oh, my God. How relatable is it, though, when you fart and your friends smell it. Oh yeah. Yes. Make the article. So it's like just seeing the, uh, the self-awareness stripped away from it.

And I'm like, oh wow. It made me realize that maybe a lot of people actually took that tweet seriously. Seriously. Just like the Buzzfeed article. Like the writer of that buzzfeed article like nothing nothing against him all the power to him because it's his job i mean that's what he has to do but like what he had to do was go out of his way to find 31 funny tweets about farts that was his day bottom of the barrel like that sucks like that just had to be no fun like he

just had to sit there and be like uh just search the word fart on twitter and see what comes up how did my tweet show up because he? Because you probably just got very lucky. I was very lucky. If I were to describe the definition of lucky, it would be that moment in my life. It was, you know, like the writers, you know, they had this one sitting in the chamber for a while. They were cooking on it. It's like, this is going to be good, but we need 31 tweets about farts that everyone can secretly relate to. No, what if it was originally 30, then they saw mine and just went we gotta add that one. We

have to add that one. Like they were in the process of publishing it and they had to pull it from the place. Pull it! Pull it! Pull it! We got another one! This one's good! Oh my god! How did we miss this fucking masterpiece? This, this quite clearly displays what we were trying

to say! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna print out that, the page from that BuzzFeed article and I'm gonna frame it and we're gonna hang it up on our apartment. We should! We should. We should screen capture. It should be the window of our computer. Like, it should be a Chrome window or an Internet Explorer window

or some shit. And it's just your little tweet. Oh my god. I never, I never, I don't think I ever congratulated you on that so congratulations officially like this is my real genuine congratulations for that thank you imagine someone doing that on tv like receiving the medal of honor receiving a purple heart yeah they're receiving like a purple heart. The president's like putting it around them like... Why the fuck did you cough on me? You just looked at me and just coughed directly on me.

You thought it would be funny. You're spreading germs. It's funny, dude. Like the time, you know, you put your fingers in my mouth. You always bring this up. You always bring this up. I didn't get sick. Oh, boo.

But I was lucky not to. Blah, blah, blah. We shook hands with people for like three hours at a convention and ryan stuck his fingers in my mouth yeah if i got sick you know i would have purposely gotten you sick too after that i would have deserved it i would have deserved it i would have like when you're sleeping i'd like i i'd like spit on my finger and then like stick it in your mouth but you ended up getting sick from E3. Oh yeah, I got sick from E3. Like instead of shaking hands

with like hundreds of people at VidCon, I go to E3, shake hands with like 25 people max and then I got sick. Oh my God. I'm just trying to imagine your thought process. What's my fingers right in your mouth? You must have just been like, fuck you.

I was mad. You must have been like legitimately angry. I was I was mad. You must have been legitimately angry. I was. Like inside. Because I was like, now I'm going to get sick. So my legitimate thought process, though, was first thing was that I just like the sensation. Your fingers were grimy. Like they were dirty.

Like almost as if you had been playing with dust with your fingers. And it's the kind of grime where like the moment I feel it, it's dry. But as soon as my saliva comes in contact, it becomes wet and moist. And I can feel the moist grime. Like the grooves and shit? Yes, it was that type of shit. And I could feel the residue of old dirt and just sweat when you pulled them out of my mouth. And then it sunk in that, oh, germs.

There's germs in this. And I was like, Ryan, what the fuck, dude? I'm going to get sick now. You make it seem like I, oh, germs. There's germs in this. And I was like, Ryan, what the fuck, dude? I'm going to get sick now. You make it seem like I have black tar hands. You do. No, I don't. You're always getting tar all over everything. It's all over the fucking pillow.

Ryan. I'm sorry. I'm fucking splashing it everywhere. Whenever I laugh, it spews out of the guttural part of my throat. You just got a bucket of tar on your lap during every podcast. You're just like flicking it around. Just like throwing it around the room. Like, Ryan, put the tar away.

Stop. Oh, my God. You're always bringing that fucking jar of tar out. Go to the tar pits, you fucking tar baby. Tar baby is a racial slur. Is it? What? Oh, my God.

Is it really? Do you not know that? i'm gonna look this up our baby's like a bad word tar baby it's like from the south way back in the day are you kidding i'm serious no way i'm serious i'm looking up tar baby oh my god tar that's that's awful i i now know that yeah now you know won't say it no more on my podcast, Ryan. Nope. Anthony Hopkins. Who's that?

What? Just kidding. Who has he met? Anthony Hopkins? Yeah. It's the chef. You know who Anthony Hopkins is. He goes to places unknown.

You know who he is. No, I know. I just can't remember right now. He was in the most recent Transformers movie. Yeah, like I saw that pilot. Hello, Matt. He was in The Right. The what?

The Right. R-I-T-E. What's that about? An exorcism. Come on, Matt. Who's Anthony Hopkins? All I know is Anthony Weiner. The guy who took a picture of his wiener

anthony hopkins is he was in silence of the lambs oh yeah yeah yeah he played uh hansen yeah what's his name grundalo what's his name hansel the guy from fucking reddell no no is he the wicked witch of the west who's the guy what is his name scarester? Who's the guy from Silence of the Lambs? What's his name? Hannibal. Is his name Quagmire? It's Hannibal, I remember now. Sorry, I just, hey, I got, my mind is spacing right now. It's Hannibal. See Larry the Cable Guy? Is that his name?

Got any more funny ones? Yeah, what about Anthony Hopkins? He's in the most recent Transformers movie. Why did you bring him up in the first place, though? Because I want to give him a round of applause. Why am I clapping for Anthony Hopkins? Because he was in the most recent Transformers movie.

Why did you bring him up, though? Because I'm proud of him. That he's in the most recent Transformers movie. Speaking of Transformers, what celebrity did we see the other day, Ryan? We saw Chris Pine the other day. Oh, is it because he's not in the Transformers movies?

Yeah, that was the joke. Yeah, but we saw Chris Pine. He's very handsome in real life. He is. He's so handsome. He is, like, graying in the beard and shit. He's just, like... His head is big though.

Yeah, Chris Pine. More like Chris Oak. Am I right? That's awful. Ryan, would you film me if I went to like a stand-up club like an open mic night? No, I told you we want to do that thing where like you go up on an open mic night and we plan like I'll

be the heck out. And we create this awkward environment between like the audience and you so it's like for us it's our show and we're taking we're taking the show away from like the audience i guess in a way yeah yeah yeah where it's like i don't know i just like that but we never tell them it's a joke no it's just like it's like a an art piece yeah between a heckler and a poor a piss poor comedian like i would do this like i would start off with just really bad jokes before you get offended like i have to do some regular ones i'd be like so my mom came in my room do my laundry the other day

and she goes she goes i got some new detergent i go what flavor is it mom and she goes clean linen and when i look at the audience i'm like clean linen more like john linen i'm like no one laughs and shit And then you'll just be like you suck And then we'll just get into a big fight And be like oh yeah idiot Then why am I the one telling the jokes on stage Cause this place sucks

And then the manager just kicks you out The rest of the shit is ruined for me And then I just have to finish my time on stage I have to just tell real jokes Or I'll just tell the John Lennon joke again. I can't imagine that. Me getting kicked out by the owner and ruining this big plan we had. So then I'm just

up there and I'm like, John Lennon. I mean, clean Lennon. More like John Lennon. And then I walk off stage and that's the whole thing. Oh, that would be beautiful. That would be fucking beautiful. Oh my God.

Would you do that? Of course I would. Well, it's because it's like the jokes on them. Like, you know how this is going. It's not embarrassing for you to do this because it's supposed to be embarrassing. Well, we could just do a really funny scenario and then just, just even we could end it where you come up on stage and like, this was all planned.

We, we bamboozled you guys you got comedied you guys just got goofed you got comedied up here and then we throw water balloons at the audience and run out we throw rotten tomatoes from the stage and then that's the end of the show we're never allowed back in any comedy club in Hollywood we'd be known

would we? we'd just be known as the assholes we threw tomatoes at people. Exactly. You can live in fame or you can live in infamy. That'd be infamy, right? Yeah, that would be infamy, yes. You'd be infamous. Just like Mr. Anime.

He's infamous for his terrible anime reviews. How are you ever friends with that guy? God damn it, Ryan. Don't say that. People are dumb. They're going to take it seriously. I never knew Mr. Anime. I never met him.

He lives in a different state. I don't know what state he was in, but I don't think I've ever even been there. Didn't you guys trade Yu-Gi-Oh cards? He looks like the type of guy that would collect Yu-Gi-Oh cards. My mom loves Mr. Anime's reviews, though. Why'd you just take a picture of me? I didn't take a picture. I just flashed the flashlight in your eyes.

One time, I was on a bus, and there was, like, a really weird girl sitting next to me back in high school. And this girl, so one time, like, so she wanted to go by some weird name that was, like, lol random. So. Like Arctic Wolf? Something weird. It was, like, pasta or something. She wanted to go by so like arctic wolf something weird it was like pasta or something like she wanted to go by like noodles or something but i just remember like i didn't see this but it was uh famous around my high school just one day during computer class she reached in her backpack and pulled out a cup and then just like threw up into it and like set the cup down her desk and just kept doing her work what yeah and like that and also the same class period top set the cup down on her desk and just kept doing her work. What? Yeah and like that and also the same class

period. Was there a top to the cup? No she just threw up it and set it back. I mean she got up poured it out in the water fountain and just came back and kept working. Oh my god. And then the same class period she just like sitting there silently just. Oh come on. That's it. She never acknowledged it. That's me. I'm

noodles. I'm so fucking awesome. Essentially, she rode my bus, and she would wear a bicycle helmet on the bus. I was on the bus next to her once early in the morning, and the sun hadn't fully come up yet, and I wanted to take a picture of her because she had this look on her face like she was about to vomit everywhere. And this thing happened recently, so I was like, oh, man, my friend watched it happen in that computer class, so I'll send him a picture, like, say, like, hey, look who I'm sitting next to on the bus. And I go to take a picture, dim bus, and I slam my flash on.

So I flash the camera right in her face. I say that's like, even though I don't believe in it, that's karma. For what? Oh, for me trying to take a picture of her? Yeah. So then all I did, like to try to cover my trail, was I just started flashing my flashlight in all different directions around the bus and trying to take a picture of her? Yeah. So then all I did to try to cover my trail was I just started flashing my flashlight in all different directions around the bus and trying to make it look like I was just playing around with my flashlight.

Because that's what normal people do. It's a fucking... No, no, that must have not been the flash. That's the same as committing a crime and then walking past a police officer and whistling. You should have just said, tag, you're it. And then she thought it was a cute little game. And then she would have wanted to date me and she'd give me a little love letter and throw it up in a cup and give it to me.

She throws up the words I love you with like alphabet soup or whatever. She eats the specific letters and throws it up. She's like she has a talent for making them appear in order. Thank God. Yeah, I had to practice a lot to get here. This one's for you, noodles or pasta or whatever you went by.

I don't remember. I don't think I ever even talked to you. Here's to you, Parmesan. I remember you had short hair and wore a bicycle helmet on the bus. But not off the bus. I think it's because she biked to the bus stop, so she would just put her helmet on way ahead of time. She was prepared.

She came prepared. That's why she brought the cup to class, and that's why she wore a bicycle helmet on the bus. She was just ready to get home. I just remember my fucking bus driver from high school, dude. This old white man who was like 70, and he had a big white beard. He looked like Santa Claus,

and he had like four outfits. He'd either dress up in a full Harley Davidson biker gear, or he would dress up in a full blue train conductor's outfit, or he would dress up completely in like an old military uniform with all those badges. And he would drive the bus every day. And when you'd get on the bus, you'd go, hello. And then as people are getting off the bus, he would go,

bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, just like that. And he crashed the bus three times in one year. What? I remember. He crashed the bus. If you crash it once, you might lose your job. Possibly just at least put on, like, leave or, like, you know, maybe continue. You crash the bus twice, you're definitely let go.

But he crashed it three times, and then he still drove it afterwards. He's driving children. You know what he did? Do you know what would happen if every parent of the kids on that bus knew that he was in three separate accidents? I'm sure a lot of them did. He was such a nice guy, though. So we're driving. Sorry I fucking killed your children.

That's okay. You're a good fucking human. I remember. We were on the way to school, and he just slammed into someone at a red light, and like three cars bounced up on their front tires. Jesus. And they had to take someone away on a stretcher that was like two cars up. That's not funny.

That's fucked up. And I think the person. This is this old man's fault. I think the person, he just wasn't paying attention. I feel really bad for him. You can't say that about automobile. He just wasn't paying attention, you know? Driving a bus of children, yeah.

Yeah, we all have those moments. No, I just, like, I can't help but feel bad for him. Where we almost kill a busload of children. Because he was so nice. Such a sweet man. I remember on the last day. I've never come close to killing a busload of children. Not yet.

Three times. He had the possibility three times of killing a busload of children. I remember I just liked it because it meant I got to get to school late and I had an excuse and it was fucking awesome. But I remember on the last day of school he wanted to take pictures with some of the kids on the bus. And one of them was Pasta or Noodles or whatever her name was. He liked her and they took pictures and he cried on the last day of school every year. He would cry because he didn't get to see the kids on the bus. And one of them was Pasta, or Noodles or whatever her name was. He liked her and they took pictures and he cried on the last day of school every year. He would cry because he didn't get to see the kids anymore.

Looking back now, it's a little weird, but he was a very nice... Was it on his personal phone or like the kids would want to take pictures? I don't remember, just with a little camera or something. Wait, wait. He had his own personal camera that he would take pictures with kids? I don't know if it was his or if it was like pasta's.

I don't remember. But you said he took more than a few pictures. Yeah, he would take like a couple. Did he have like a little disposable camera of his own? He'd get off the bus and he would pose with some of them and take a picture. I'm serious. I'm not making this shit up. Were you one of those kids, Matt?

No, I sat in the back of the bus. Did you pose for any of his pictures? only a few at his house with no pants on no but uh we've all been there he hated me and my friend remember one time cause he wouldn't take off your pants

I just want a picture my friend had like a goofy hat on from Mickey Mouse and he stuck his head out the window we were on a bridge and he pulled the bus over on the side of the bridge and like walked to the back of the bus and was like you're gonna get depacitated! And got really mad and yelled at him. Depacitated. Oh dude, I had another

bus driver named Miss Sheila and she she was like four feet tall. I had one named Miss Sheila. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. She was like stereotypical attitude bus driver woman. I had one of those, but Miss Sheila was nice. She was this old lady, and the only clothes she would wear would be these cheesy Christian lines. One of them had two drumsticks, and it had the Kiss font from the Kiss logo, and it said,

Stick with Jesus. And she had a couple other ones like that that had to do with Jesus puns. But I remember she'd drive the bus, um as soon as she smelled like perfume or something she'd start hacking her lungs up and screaming like shut it shut it because apparently she was in a chemical fire so now her lungs are fucked up and if she smells perfume she starts dying and i remember someone opened up a banana once she was like shut it shut the perfume and they're like it's a banana and she was like hack your lungs up and one morning someone sprayed some axe cologne or some perfume you can't even call

you can't be a bus driver and have your lungs be that weak well that's the pollution of bus I don't know what it is but she pulled over the bus and like on the side of the highway and just like threw up all over the ground and then got back on the bus and just drove us back to school I still remember

that vividly it It scared me. Because I was like, is my bus driver dying right now? Because she smelled some perfume. Did you ever see her again? No, not since high school. I don't even know if she still drives the bus. She might. I had a nice bus driver.

Her name was Miss Daisy. So Miss Daisy was driving us. Yeah, Miss Daisy was driving you. Aha. Nice. Yo, dude, why don't we start a sunglasses review channel? I'm down 100%. You know what we should do on that sunglasses review channel?

What? Not only review sunglasses, but wear sunglasses. While we review them? Yes. Okay. And we have, ah, dude, we should get like little mini, no, we should get gopros and put the lenses on the gopros so people could have a people could have a pov of what it's like to wear the sunglass yes dude that's fucking smart ryan i'm very proud of you for that idea so now we're going to have

super mega and we're also going to have a water bottle review channel and a sunglasses channel why don't we just start making a whole bunch of channels? We should do that. Just make channels. We already have a Diddy Kong dancing with channel. Yeah. We got that one. That's a good channel, you guys.

That has, how many subs does that have? Let me look that up real quick. What's the channel called again? I don't remember. Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong dancing. It says 29,000 views. Jeez. 4,000 subscribers.

I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts. Why the fuck does this video have 30,000 views and this channel has 4,000 subscribers, Ryan? Ladies, gentlemen, thank you for listening to episode 51. This is the number podcast that there are states in the United States.

If you like this podcast, make sure to click the like button below. And leave a comment. Please tell your friends. Come back next week to listen to episode 52. And just, you know, it's been fun, guys. I've enjoyed doing this. Episode 51 of

Super Mega Cast. It's on iTunes. Go listen to it on iTunes. It's on Google Play Music, whatever that shit's called. Thank you to MeUndies for sponsoring us. And thank you, John Lennon. More like John Lennon.

See, it is funny. It is.