supermegashow - EP 52 - The Alleyway Surprise

Episode Date: July 22, 2017

Ryan stumbled upon some midnight pleasure in this episode of SuperMegaCast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to episode 52 of the podcast. 52? 52! Is that how many cards are in a deck? Is it? 52 pickup. Yeah, my dad, I was at a cabin once and my dad said, Hey, you want to play 52 pickup?

And I said, yeah, sure, dad. And he threw all 52 cards on the ground and said, 52 pickup. I was just a cabin once and my dad said hey you want to play 52 pickup? And I said yeah sure dad and he threw all 52 cards on the ground said 52 pickup It was just so mad and I was saying like dad you pick these up He's like no you you said you wanted to play and he just walked out of the room and I was like All you wanted to do was play with your dad, but he just I know care That's why I don't want to play with my dad anymore and every time he's like son spend time with me I'm like Ted remember that time you threw those cards on the ground and made me pick them up? It ruins your relationship to this day. And we're going to get to the end of it.

We're calling Dale right now. Dad? Hello, I'm Dale. Dad, is that you? It's me, Dale. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for playing 52 pick up with you, Matt. Dad, that means so much. Well, that was Dale.

That was Dale's first time on the podcast, actually. It was, and I'm glad that I could actually, you know, sort things out with my father like that. You know, only two minutes into the podcast. That's incredible. But, uh, we got some other stuff to sort out. We do? Yeah. Like, what games are we gonna play? We're running out of games! Shit, yeah, we are.

Um, we're gonna play Mario, and we're going to play One of them Kirby's Kirby We could do Donkey Kong Country 2 I would love to do Donkey Kong Country 2 Donkey Kong Country 2

As long as you play I am not good at that game I'd like to do Link's Awakening Link's Awakening? I've been wanting to do that for a while But you never want to record it. No, I mean, I'm ready now. Are you?

Should we talk about the Pokemon tragedy? Oh, yes, the Pokemon tragedy. Yeah, guys. It's going to be, for those of you who have been enjoying our Pokemon Emerald series, it's going to be a little hiatus, but it will be back. But why will there be a hiatus, Matt? Well, Ryan... Because I was excited to edit

the series. I was... You know, I was getting there. You know, I already got probably around 12 episodes done. And I was going to head on to make even more. We were probably going to have around 15 episodes. 15 or 16. Yeah, 15 or 16 episodes. I, uh... to have around 15 episodes. 15 or 16 episodes. I goofed, Ryan.

I went in the computer and I accidentally deleted a little session of ours. Don't throw the word accidentally in there. It was an accident. I didn't purposely delete it. You did purposely delete it. You don't accidentally delete something. Yeah, but when you say purposely that means I had the intent to delete the footage knowing that you didn't have it yet. That's not what purposely meant.

You did purposely delete it. Aaron was standing on my shoulder asking me to delete stuff. And it had been like 10 days since we had recorded that. So I thought you had already started editing it. Aaron is intimidating. I have to give you that. He is. But I don't.

That's all my fault, guys. I deleted a little session of Pokemon. And the problem with that is like, oh, we can't just go back and re-record it because it's Pokemon. You know, we leveled things up. We evolved things in that session. You forgot the main thing that we actually did. We legitimately... See, I took time in between episodes

for this next recording session. I probably took, you know, an hour, a little over an hour probably, leveling up the Pokemon since we didn't have enough time to do it during the playthrough. We evolved three of our Pokemon. In one session, yeah. And we

went through... We beat a gym, right? Yeah, we beat a gym. And we made it to the next town. Well, uh... And we got a bike. So now, the only options left are we can either reset the game, try to get all the same Pokemon, name them the same

thing, and get back to the same point, or possibly I don't, and get back to the same point, or possibly, I don't know, maybe people in the comments can help us out with this. Maybe there's a way we can use an emulator and get one of those ROM hack things and just give ourselves the same Pokemon with the same names and continue from the last episode that's

on YouTube. The problem with that I've heard is that sometimes then the game could just fuck up at some point during the playthrough. But if it fucks up, can we just make a new ROM with the Pokemon from when it fucked up? Hmm. And it's just a cycle? That would be a fun cycle. But we'd be playing on an emulator, I'm guessing, right?

Yeah, it'd be on the computer. Okay. There might be a way we can fix it so I don't have to go back and redo the journey. Well, I'll go back and level up all the Pokemon and shit. I don't trust you, Matt. You're going to delete the save file. Yeah, you know, I'm always doing that. But we're going to figure out this Pokemon thing.

We won't keep it from you too long. We're going to figure out some way to get it back so we can continue our Pokemon playthrough. Unless you guys absolutely hate the series, then... I think people like it. I like playing it, so I want to keep playing it. You like watching me play it? Yes. You're taking credit for my playthroughs now?

Matt, what's going on? Let me take a sip of this tea. Hold on. I just brewed some tea. Let me take a sip. Let me just see how hot this is. It's real hot. Hold on. God, that's hot. Are you one of those people like, I know people that they'll get a cup of coffee

or something, and they'll be just billowing clouds of steam coming off it, and they can just take a big gulp while it's that hot. On the inside, they're hating themselves. But on the outside, it's like, God damn, people just saw me take that gulp. It's like the same people who don't

wait for their super hot food to cool down. They'll be like... It's good this way. It's good this way. No, it's not. It burns your fucking tongue and mouth and you can't taste shit. How are you enjoying that? Listen, guys.

To eat hot food, you need to take your ego down a peg. That's a big part about eating hot food. Here's Matt and Ryan going to teach you how to eat hot food, you need to take your ego down a peg. That's a big part about eating hot food. Here's Matt and Ryan going to teach you how to eat hot food. Number one, just take your ego down a peg. Okay. Number two, Matt? Wait until the food cools off. That's a good one.

That's a good one. And then put it in your mouth. Number three, stir that shit around. Stir it around, yeah. Create some fucking friction in that shit. Get some kinetic energy working up in there so there's a release of energy. Yeah, get some of that steam out of there. Hey, if you get a bowl of soup, it's too hot.

You can always go. I used to do this. I'd open up the freezer. I'd stick my bowl of soup in the freezer for about three, four minutes, pull it out. It's good to go. Or if you're not at your home and you're at a restaurant, what you can do is if they do have flavorings that you can add to make your soup stronger or your broth stronger, what you can do is

take ice from your water, put that in the soup, just do like an ice cube at a time to see how it cools down. You don't want to water it down too much. If you cool it down and water it down too much, it's a bad idea. But I think one ice cube to two should be enough. Yeah. You don't

want that. Add more flavoring to bring it. And then it's like you have more soup than when you first started. Exactly. And when you're not, see, it's important to eat warm soup. Yeah, it's got to be warm. It's got to be warm, but not even say hot. Yeah, hot, but not burning hot. Exactly. You don't

want to cause pain in your mouth. So there you go to all those people wondering, why am I not enjoying eating this hot beverage? That's why. Yeah, but I know people who can just take sips of stuff when it's boiling hot. I gotta wait for my coffee to cool down a good

10, 15 minutes sometimes, and it's still a little hot. This tea, I'm not gonna be able to take a good sip of this tea until probably 10 minutes more into this podcast. Really? I mean, there's still steam coming out. Well, you do have those baby teeth.

I do have, I have all my baby teeth still. I had a fun little occurrence recently, Matt. What was your occurrence? I was walking Lego. Okay. And I was going through the alleyway. Okay. Just like any other day.

And I spotted pushups next to a shopping cart. Just like any other day. And I spotted Push Ups next to his shopping cart. Push Ups, my man. How's he been? He's been good. He's been working out in other ways. Let me bring it back down to the alleyway. Oh. So as I was walking Lego, I kind of saw Push Ups was, I don't know, moving erratically.

In a way that I didn't recognize as normal. Like jumping back and forth? No, it was like he was shaking back and forth. So as I get closer, I realized the cause of the shake was one arm moving forward and backwards very fast and violently. Wait, he was, was he jerking off? He was masturbating in the alleyway. Are you serious?

I am serious. And I felt bad because the thing is I've talked thing is I've talked to him and I've had conversations and like, you know, we kind of know each other. Whenever I you know, whenever he sees me, he waves and we have a little back and forth. But now you're going to view that hand differently. But I'm walking up to him

and he's jerking off and I'm at that distance where like if I turn around. Wait, his back is to you? His back is to me. Okay, so he's not looking at you, Jay. No, no, he's not looking at me. He's not like, our eyeballs aren't touching. You know, his eyes aren't coming out like a cartoon character.

Veiny red, just... Goddamn! Wait, what time of day was this? Was this daytime? This was nighttime. Okay, alright. So he thought he was safe. So he thought he was safe.

I mean, honestly, I don't know where else he would masturbate. Probably not in the middle of an alleyway standing up next to a shopping cart. I would think he might want to go somewhere a little more... I get it's nighttime, but maybe a little more private. Maybe behind a building. Maybe sit down and do it. Maybe he's one of those guys that can only J.O.

standing up. That is true. That is something that some people have. But at the same time, when I was coming up to him, I was at that distance where I just had to Bite the bullet and keep walking Just pretend I didn't see him But when I walked past him In my periphery

I see him kind of jolt a little bit That wasn't him coming by the way Might have been, I don't know He could have seen Lego's ass And just went, damn He got so lucky that day He was waiting for a dog to walk by the way might have been I don't know he could have seen Lego's ass and just went damn fuck he got so lucky that day he was waiting for a dog to walk by but um he jolted then I kind of like I turned back a little bit and I saw him walking back kind of like looking around like you know

doing that whole whistle thing whistling yeah like nothing happened and it I saw him recently but it took two whole days for him to show back up in the alleyway. He just disappeared? He just disappeared for two days. I'm guessing out of embarrassment. Oh my God. I do feel bad for the man. He was masturbating in public, but I still feel a bit of compassion for him.

He doesn't have anywhere else to masturbate? Yeah, he can't masturbate in private. But here's the thing. He doesn't have anywhere else to masturbate. Yeah, he can't masturbate in private. But here's the thing. He's... There are better areas to masturbate in public. You know, I can't defend the man too hard.

It was in the alleyway. It wasn't like off to the side in the alley. It wasn't like off in a little nook. It was on the leftmost side of the alley. For masturbating in public, he could have been a little more private. Like, I get that he doesn't have a private place to go masturbate, but he could have done it a little more privately. Yes.

That alleyway can be busy even at nighttime, so. In terms of other updates regarding the populace around our apartment, Ming, I saw, by the way, running around in the middle of the street. Oh, yes. Just screaming and yelling. Like, I'm not talking about, like, when the light turns red and she has the crosswalk,

she just takes her precious little time. I'm talking about lights are green. Are you serious? She's in the middle of the intersection, wailing around, casting her spells. It looks like she's, she's casting fireball spells. I would expect fireballs to come out of her palms. And so I pass her doing this, and I see a cop.

And I see a cop, he's at a stoplight, and he's about to go, and I'm like, oh, he's about to take care of her. Then I look at him, and he's looking at me all surprised, and I'm wondering, why is he looking at me all surprised? Then I see him hurriedly putting on his seatbelt, and I'm like, wait a second. So a cop was just driving around without a seat belt we make eye contact he gets scared he's like fuck fuck fuck and i guess that distracted him enough to where he missed ming entirely so it's your fault man i didn't you saved his life probably he could have

gotten into a car accident and he wore his seatbelt now because of you How come weird things always happen in tandem? I don't know Did I even mention it on the podcast? I think I did Did I mention the story of the guy who said You know why Hitler did what he did? No, you haven't talked about that one Oh, Jesus Christ

And also for those who were like How is all this so brand new news to Matt? They talk I've been out of town, I just got back in town recently. I texted him updates of my surprise every now and then, but I haven't really gotten to sit down with him. He hasn't elaborated this to me. So this is all new to me. So there's this guy in the alleyway.

He usually rides a bike. And I've known him for a while. He's the guy with the conversation. I'm not even sure I told this one where he said, hey, you're right by all of us, man. And I'm like, okay, awesome, thank you. You're right by all these people. Yeah, he's like, you're right by us, and I just want to let you know it's a good thing you know us. I'm like, haha, yeah.

He's like, seriously, man, if anyone's giving you any problems, just come to me. I'm like, what? If anybody's giving you shit, you come to me, and'm like, what? If anybody has given you shit, you come to me and we'll figure it out. That's like, is that like, maybe like he's going to give him a swirly or he's going to shoot him in the head. I think he's going to beat the shit out of them.

Yeah. But the thing that makes that even more scary is about a week later, I come up to him again and, uh, he's just sitting in the alley and I'm walking past. He goes, hey, come here. So we get in a regular conversation and he's like, he's talking about my facial hair. And he's like, I can't grow facial hair.

I can only grow like a reverse Hitler. Like he can grow hair anywhere but a mustache, essentially. He's like, it's like a reverse Hitler, man. I'm like, ha ha, reverse Hitler, funny, ha ha. And that's legitimately what i said to him verbatim but i you know i thought it was you know comical because whatever he's funny joke um and then he goes yeah but uh i mean you know why hitler did what he did and then the conversation took a sharp turn just Just like the mood just. I know.

And I just, I got really tense and butterflies. That's, that's the way to describe it, right? Totally. You got butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. Anxiety up the wazoo. Little Nazi butterflies. So I'm like, okay, where's this conversation headed?

Maybe it's not going where I think it's going. Cause the thing is I just shaved my head and he commented on my shaved head oh yeah you had just shaved your head yeah so maybe he thought he was comfortable bringing this stuff up oh yeah that that might have presented the atmosphere he was he was waiting for so he asked me uh as i said he asked me so you know why hitler did what he did right i'm like uh because crazy people do crazy things he goes yeah but you know why he did what he did. I'm like, I mean, yeah, you know, he goes, oh, I know. I know why he did what he did. I'm like, okay. And he goes, okay. Hitler killed all the Jews in retaliation for them murdering Jesus Christ. And I was like, okay. He goes, and then he repeats it three times in a row, just slowly staring me down.

He just goes, Hitler massacred. And he gets like kind of excited. He goes, massacred, just wiped out. Like a little boyish glee in his eyes. Yeah, just all of them for what they did to Jesus Christ. I'm like, okay. He's like, think about that. You crack open a history book, it says that.

But he just kept going, think about that. I'm like, okay. I'm going to head back now. He goes, okay, just think about it. And so I went upstairs and thought about it, and it makes a lot of sense. No, but like, but like, it's just like like what's going on in the

alleyway like i feel like i i've transported into like an alice in wonderland type scenario you have you you have like one of them and the thing is like this all started out over a year ago with just ming right it was just ming when before that it was just an empty alleyway a very nice clean alleyway ming appears she, clean alleyway. Ming appears. She comes into existence somehow from another dimension. And then all of a sudden, it's like this portal has opened and every now and then someone new crawls through the portal.

We got push-ups. We got bike. I'm just calling them bike. Or bikes. I don't know his name. There's a bunch of people. There's a bunch of new people. There's Reese. From Malcolm in the Middle. He kind of looks like Reese But with long hippie hair and a beard What should his name be?

Just call him Malcolm Or Reese Just call him Sitcom Boy Okay, we'll call him Sitcom So we got Sitcom, Bikes, Pushups, and Ming That's a good crew. It's just an eclectic group right there. It's a wonderful group of people.

You got the wacky bunch. So those are all the updates for anyone who's interested in that sphere. That sphere of social life. On a more important note, my tea has cooled significantly to where I can take- Mike's tea? Oh, your tea. My tea. Ready?

Can I have a sip? Of course. I do have strep throat. I don't know how contagious it is, though. Nah. All right. No, I'm heading home. It's better safe than not...

Sorry. Well, let me actually elaborate on that strep throat... Let me elaborate on that strep throat thing. So, I've had some pain in my throat for the past like two three months i've heard i mean you've heard me complaining about it like a little baby yeah i have like a lump in my throat when i swallow it feels like there's something there and my voice has been rough and like certain notes when i when i speak hurt so i went to the doctor when i was back home and uh they're like well we need to look at your

throat so i had to go and you know what they had to do ryan i had to sit sit in a chair in a doctor's chair and they had to take a really long it looked like something you used to like fix the oil in a car is this like a this did this feel like a horror movie it did like an alien abduction scene i hated it they have a very long like camera tube that they stick up my nose and it goes down my throat while i'm awake completely awake i just have to sit there what oh jesus oh wait a second is it kind of like the i get i get that same feeling uh do you remember in the dentist's office when they have to take that x-ray picture of your teeth and they stick that thing like they stick the thing in your teeth and they stick the thing like they put the like condom wrapper on top of the whatever it is and stick it down your

throat it's like and like it's just almost hitting your uvula yeah it's kind of like that but it's different just because it's going all the way up your nose around and down your throat and then he looks through a little camera and like looks and he was telling me to make different sounds with my vocal cords to say different vowels so I had to I sat there perfectly still my eyes are watering because it's like a response but

finally he pulls it out and he was like yeah your vocal cords are really burnt from acid reflux because my acid reflux has been so terrible not from smoking all those cigars? I did smoke a cigar while I was home why? acid reflux because my acid reflux has been so terrible. Not from smoking all those cigars? Yeah, all those cigars. I actually did smoke a cigar while I was home.

Why? Because my brother-in-law and my dad wanted to smoke once I smoked on with them. They're so gross to me. They're pretty gross. Coming from the guy who smokes cigarettes. So you're not actually, I mean, you're not actually inhaling it, but it's just my acid reflux has like gotten up into this area of my throat, which means it's burned my vocal cords, which is why it hurts to record. So I got Prilosec, which is awesome.

I've been taking it. The moment I took that first pill, I've not had acid reflux once in my life. It's one of those things like I didn't realize how bad my acid reflux was until I started taking this medicine and like lived without acid reflux. It's one of the rare circumstances where there legitimately is a magical, a magic pill to solve your problem. It really did solve my problem. Like, cause with other medication, I feel like most of the time it works in the way of like, oh, I'm feeling better, but it does it slowly. So you don't know whether it's placebo or actually working.

This is actually like a magic pill that's solving all your problems. So guys, if you have acid reflux and it kills you real bad, go get Prilosec. I see why Larry the Cable Guy, you know, why he's the spokesperson for this medicine. Because it's fucking amazing. It's a beautiful little purple pill. And then at the same time, I also have strep throat

somehow. I don't know how I have strep throat. They were like, oh, we tested your throat and you have some type of strep throat virus. Not the regular type, but some other type you've had for a couple months. So here's some penicillin to get rid of that. So I'm mad at you, Matt. I just realized it. Why? Because for like a week straight, you were saying we're going to see Baby Driver. You know how many times I've seen it? How many times have you seen Baby Driver? I've seen it three times. Seen it three times? How many times have you seen it,? I've seen it three times. Seen it three times? How many times have you seen it, Matt? Seen it zero times.

Exactly. Fucking watch that film. It's fun. Well, the thing is, I've seen it three times. Not to be like, the first time I saw it, I saw it with a group. Second time I saw it, I went to go see it by myself just to kind of get my feelings really grounded. Because I was going to record a podcast with, well, I did record a podcast with Barry and Chad. It's the fourth episode of the G Club.

Go check that out if you want. And the third time I saw it, I went to go see it with Ding Dong and Julian. Nice. Yeah, so. Yeah, I, no, so I really did want to see it, but it was, it came out right before, it was that week I was about to go out of town for a week. So I was like under the gun to get a bunch of stuff done. And then when I was in Charleston, I just didn't get the chance to. I was.

I really suggest you try to see it in theaters. I want to. Just because it's all about the music, and you know music just sounds better in the surround sound theater. So, I mean, it's fun. I definitely recommend you should go see it. Dunkirk's coming out too.

Well, you're going out of town for eight days, and I'm going to be all by myself and bored, so I'll probably take one of those nights to go see movies. You should. I'll go see Baby Driver. I think Dunkirk comes out this week, does it? I think so. So I have to go see that and I'm going to go see War of the Planet of the Apes with my dad because You gotta see monkey movies

with your dad. Yes. 100%. I've heard mixed reviews of War of the Planet of the Apes. You got a bunch of people saying it's good, and then you got other people saying, like, it's not as good as people are saying. But the thing is, the people who are saying that

are, to me, known to be strict. It's YMS and Ralph makes, sorry, Ralph the Movie Maker. They're known to not be contrarians, but they have a more strict line of view with movies, which is good. So I'm, I'm kind of happy. They think that way.

I haven't, uh, watched any of the reviews cause I don't want anything spoiled. But I think the good part about having people like that, um, in kind of like your line of sight is that you don't, your expectations aren't build up so much because now there's a little bit of now hearing that their opinions are like that and sometimes

my opinion movies kind of melds with theirs sometimes um it just uh i don't have that expectation and i think that's what kills movies a lot of the time for me is expectations just because i get it's hard for me not to get excited about a film that i that I'm really hoping will be good like Baby Driver yeah when I saw Baby Driver I'm not gonna say I was disappointed upon first watch but it wasn't exactly what I was expecting in terms of Edgar Wright um through like I guess the characters and story because I just love the characters in Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead and all the past films. But overall, I had a good time and the movie is meant to be a fun fucking time. It's a fun musical. It's a musical?

It's not a musical in the sense of that. Everything's kind of to a beat and rhythm. Ooh, I like that. You'll see. I'm going to go see it this week. Mark my words. And if I don't see it this week, Ryan, you know what can happen?

Get to pour boiling coffee in my face. Okay. I promise that, okay? You've got gotta send me your thoughts on it I will I'll send you my thoughts I will I'll send you a single SMS text message and I'll say it's good I hate that Dunkirk is coming out while you know I'm gone because

you and I like to go see war movies together I like war movies we like we want to go see war whenever whenever you and I whenever there's a trailer for a war movie it's always in the back of my head like that's something that matt and i are gonna go see the week of type of thing it's just they're um especially since it's christopher nolan and some one of your i think your one of your favorite movies is a full metal jacket yeah so i mean war movies are just interesting i like that i think the thing about war movies that i like a lot is that it kind of focuses not on the uh the war not the war but the the the heroics i guess yeah

what like those big moments i like war movies that kind of bring it down and show the horror and terror and kind of the realistic nature of the mindset of war yeah i think what i like about or the war movies i specifically like it's not the ones that are like um you know packed with action it's more of like the character studies about people that are you know in war and kind of watching uh like their characters change through war and stuff like that that's why i like full metal jacket so much and you haven't seen jarhead right i haven't seen jarhead i've seen scenes from jarhead but i haven't seen jarhead itself i? I haven't seen Jarhead. I've seen scenes from Jarhead, but I haven't seen Jarhead itself. I'd recommend it. I think you

might like it. I haven't seen it in a while. War in Afghanistan? I think it's Iraq. One of those Middle Eastern wars, whatever. Same thing. Speaking of movies, a trailer recently came out. Yes! The first trailer in a long time, but it's

a teaser trailer. Yeah, it's not like a full blown trailer, but it's the trailer for The Disaster Artist, which is the movie by James Franco. It's by James Franco, right? Yeah, he directed it and he's starring in it. Yeah, about the creation of the cult classic, infamous

bad movie, The Room. And of course, A24 has their stamp on it. So, you you know it could be good yeah I trust that studio they do have some movies that aren't that good but they make good stuff more than not whenever I see an A24 movie I like it I saw an A24

movie recently that I actually really didn't like the ghost story with Rooney Mara and what the fuck is it uh Casey Affleck oh I oh yeah I saw the trailer for that would you would you believe me if I told you there was a I'm not saying this is something I liked or not like this is not a critique of the film but this is something that I'm just telling Matt, would you believe me if I told you there's a five minute uncut sequence of Rooney Mara eating pie for five straight minutes?

Well, if you're bringing it up, it probably happens. So does she say anything? No. Why? Why is that in the movie? Because it's like to show her yeah the movie the movie was very conflicting with its uh art artisticness and with i guess the writer or director really ham fisting the themes which doesn't blend well together yeah i think when you're trying

it was kind of like some of the movie felt i'll let you develop your own ideas from what's going on here i guess i'm gonna do things in a simple way. Like he doesn't give us like a bunch of scenes with characters to introduce him. He gives us long takes of the characters to introduce them as people, as regular people, which is fine, blah,

blah, blah. But then in the middle of the movie, he has this one character just in a 10 minute sequence, explain the direct themes of the film and explain what is trying to be told in the movie. And it's like, pick one. Do you not trust yourself to tell the story or do you not trust the audience

to get the themes that you're trying to express? And I think that was my major flaw with it, but I don't think that many people even saw it. R.I.P. I saw Michael Cera's in some new movie coming up. It's one of those ones where I don't think anyone's going to see it. Is it the one with the bear? No.

Brigsby bear? No, no, no. You know which one I'm talking about, Brigsby bear, right? No. It's one of the independent films. Never mind. Michael Cera. I know what you're talking about.

He has goofy hair. Yeah, he's in some new independent movie where he plays some reporter or something. I watched the trailer, and from the trailer I couldn't get a read on what the movie's actually about. It just kind of looks like one of those A Bunch of People movies. It's got a bunch of people in it. A Bunch of People movies? Yeah, where it's like...

Like This is the End? Is that like an A Bunch of People movie? I mean, it doesn't look like it has one central plot. It looks like it's just a bunch of different people living life or something in one of those movies. So like it's just a bunch of different people living life or something. Okay. So like slice of life or slice of group. I don't know when you if there's character study and then there's like group

study. Yeah I don't even remember what it was called though. I just watched the trailer last night. Speaking of last night you know what I did? Nothing. Absolutely accurate. But what did you actually do last night? I got furious at my cat at four in the morning. Why?

Why was this? So it's like, you know, he'll be in my room and the door will be shut and he'll want to go out in the living room, play around, frolic, do what cats do in the middle of the night. So he'll start like trying to open my door with his paws, which makes a very loud sound because it like shakes the door on its hinges. And I'm like, stop. And it wakes me up. And I didn't get to sleep until a little later last night. I wasn't feeling too good. Go to sleep.

Wake up. And he's like, he's like trying to open the door. So I get up. I turn on the lights and I'm like, banana, get out of there. Go, go get. I'm real mad at him because he woke me up. I get back in bed, turn off the lights. Five seconds later, doing the same thing again. This went on for like 20 minutes. I kept getting up, yelling at him because he woke me up. I get back in bed, turn off the lights. Five seconds later, he's doing the same thing again.

This went on for like 20 minutes. I kept getting up, yelling at him, throwing things across the room at him. Like, banana, stop. And I'm throwing shit at him. Finally, I get boxes. I have some boxes in my room. I stack them against the door so he can't do that. And he just starts going up and like scratching on the boxes or like rolling around on top of the boxes, making noise.

And I'm like, banana. So I got a broomstick and I chased him out of my room a little bit and uh finally he stopped wait what at 4am you're chasing your cat around with a broomstick I can't believe you didn't hear me dude I was so loud I was fast asleep well I got to bed this must have happened

like right when I got to bed so I must I think I was probably when did you go to bed um I went to bed probably around like 3 something this was like I remember looking at my clock it was 4 12am when this was going on I definitely got to bed? I went to bed probably around like 3 something. This was like, I remember looking at my clock. It was 4.12 a.m. when this was going on. I definitely got to bed around 3 something. So I was definitely in REM sleep while this was going on. So nothing was bothering me then.

Deep REM sleep. Yeah, like. REM, like my initials. Ryan. Oh, I never realized that. Like the band, too. Like the band. I love REM.

I don't even, what's a song that I would know by them? Would you believe they put a man on the moon? No, I think you probably know It's the End of the World. That's R.E.M.? Yeah. What? That's R.E.M. I didn't know that.

They got a bunch of famous ones. I didn't know they did the soundtrack to Chicken Little. Yeah. And then this one goes out to the one I love. Yes. They did that one. Okay. So now, so it's, I shouldn't be embarrassed to share initials with them.

I should, I should be like, holy shit. How can I ever live up to their iconicness? What else? What else does REM have? What does it, what does REM stand for? Remote Encyclopedia Management. No, it doesn't. Yeah, it does.

It does. I'm not looking it up, but that's not what it stands for. it does it does i'm not looking it up but that's not what it stands for yes it does look it up no ryan stands for ryan elias mcgee elias you have ass in your name that's the way people want to pronounce it what is it elias like how how do you how do the arabic people say it i don't know. Like, how I hear it is just Elias. Elias. Elias. More like smelly ass. Kind of sounds like there's a Y in there, but, you know, Elias is fine.

Elias just sounds goofy. I always thought it was Elias. I like Elias more. I always thought it was Eli Rye McGee, not Ellery McGee. Ellery Eli Rye McGee. See, when people look at our usernames I think they look at mine and they say Math Watson or Matthew Watson because it's two T's and then an H and then Watson

because my middle name starts with H so it's Matt H Watson but people see Math Watson that's why I wish my handle wasn't that and then yours people look at it and they're probably like Ellery Ellery McGee with my username like I get the feeling that it comes off as kind of like a girl's username because

the brain kind of squishes the I don't know it looks like Emily McGee like at first glance I could picture people seeing that You should change your Twitter handle to put no just put the little male sex symbol emoji by your name Well if I married my first girlfriend

Emily McGee would have been her name segue ryan let's get on the segue with me okay well it's not it's this is a smaller segue than usual man i'm not sure i can fit on it i really want to get on like an actual sleep schedule my life has been without a sleep schedule for like two and a half years now i can live without a sleeping schedule for me it's more of like a dietary discipline schedule thing. For feeling good? For feeling good, yeah. Because like sometimes I eat when I don't need to and then I don't eat when I don't need to.

I think for me it's a mix of both. Or I don't eat when I need to, yeah. Yeah. I feel like I would just be so much – I'd feel so much better if I got on a real sleeping schedule because it's, it's getting to the point now where I've been off a sleep schedule so long and I just kind of sleep whenever. Like I'll take naps or I'll go to bed like six hours apart from one night or the other. And then I never wake up when I'm supposed to. I wake up at the wrong time.

And it's like, if I got on a nice nocturnal pattern, maybe my body would not feel so damn tired all the time. And if I change my diet. I just can't, I don't think I'll be able to like develop a good sleep pattern just cause I love the nighttime too much. And I try to, I, I literally squeeze all I can out of it where I, I go to bed. I try to get to bed of course, before the sun comes up. Um, and sometimes I'm just tired and I do that, but I just, I love nighttime. I love it it too it's like but but what I really love is morning time I love the morning like early morning I never get to experience it so maybe I could start trading

out some nighttime for some morning time it feels good early in the morning like when you wait like remember I used to wake up probably around like eight yeah you used to wake up way before me and I I would have hours before we'd even head out and I just just like, it would be a whole section of a day. And I'd be like, holy shit, this is something that I'd usually sleep through. Because also, I think one of the reasons like, it's so hard for me to gain weight because I sleep through when I would normally eat breakfast. And if I skip breakfast, I'm not hungry for the rest of the day. I don't know why.

I'm not hungry for lunch and I'm not that hungry for dinner. And then I get really hungry at like 2 a.m. So it like throws everything off. And if I'm skipping breakfast, then I'm not getting that energy I need to record these funny podcasts. I had breakfast a little bit ago. I had a banana and I put some peanut butter on it because I thought I would try something new and it was actually delicious.

I think banana, I'm wrong pet. I think Lego would actually like that because apparently on his thing, it says he likes bananas. Like when I adopted him, he says him, they said he really likes bananas. So I don't know. That's why he likes my cat so much. I need to get him a Kong. I need to get him more toys.

He always a Kong. What's a Kong? The thing, the little like poop shaped things that you stuff treats into. Oh yeah, those. But essentially just destroys all the toys I get him so instead of giving him getting him regular dog toys I'm gonna need to get him like rope and shit yeah that he can't really

get the stuffing out of and all that I'm trying to figure out like what I can do to make banana so he's gotten into this habit where like he he starts meowing a lot to get because he wants to get out of my room in the middle of the night. And I don't let him out

because I know that he goes and messes with your door or he'll knock stuff over and be loud. So I try to keep him in my room. But he'll want to go out so he'll do this thing where he just tries to get my attention. He'll go...

Like rapid fire meows. I know. One after the other. When you're gone and I come home and he's, like, hungry, or, no, he just wants attention, he's like, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, I'll give you some love. Just shut up. And I pick him up and I throw him against a wall. I'm just kidding. I love my cat so much.

I would never do such a thing. Oh, by the way, I came up with a revelation of why I did. I don't know. I finally put it into words or thought of why I dislike the Paul brothers. Because, you know, they're a big thing. A lot of people dislike them. They're pretty big right now, yeah. But I like I watch stuff with them. And I like I watch music videos. You're always watching that stuff in your room. I hear you watching the Paul brothers and just laughing. Oh, yeah. But I watch stuff with them, and I watch music videos.

You're always watching that stuff in your room. I hear you watching the Paul brothers and just laughing up a storm. Oh, yeah, laughing up a storm. That's me. I love the Paul brothers. So I watched one of their music videos, and I kind of watched an interview with them, and I looked through a bit of a movie that Jake starred in. I wanted to get a feel for who these people are i guess um because it was

late at night and i was curious and so i came to the conclusion that the reason that i dislike them so much is because they are proof that those assholes that give everyone like the teachers or the student body such a hard time in high school it's proof that they just make it out and they can continue being the like kind of just shithead that they are mr hotshot yeah and they're always gonna be like that and they they never have millions of dollars both yeah and they it's like they don't have that self-corrective point in their life where they need to like grow up yeah and be like a normal person that's not a complete asshole to everyone. But it's just all about, I guess, bragging. It's all about them.

One music video kind of put it. It's called Rise of the Pauls or whatever. It is one of the worst things I've ever seen. Oh, God. They made a video about their own rise? Yeah. But you know that they're like Jacob Sartorius. No one's going to remember them in three years three years like still making a shit ton of money and that's that's the thing that they don't they

don't see that and they don't care they just want to be making money they just want to be doing you know whatever they're doing and here's the thing you know i don't have a problem with them making the content they make you know blah blah blah i shouldn't have a problem with them because they're technically not doing anything wrong i guess morally besides i don't know being jackasses um of course uh jake or whatever takes down videos uh yeah when people like make fun of them or purity him or anything yeah but overall i guess i'm confused by like the millions of people that watch their content. And actually get real enjoyment out of it.

Because it makes me feel like maybe I'm the one that's just not getting it. No, I mean, because like a majority of people watch that shit and millions of people watch that shit. And it's not just people making fun of it. Sure, a lot of views come from the people that, you you know make fun of it and they channel traffic over to them but if that's entertainment that's what most people want and then that and that's the general consensus are we are we in the wrong when it comes to like what's like what what what is i guess funny no good what's what's good because then it's just personal preference right yeah that's all it comes down to is personal preference. It's just so crazy.

Because, okay, I kind of want to show you this video. The Rise of the Pauls? The Rise of the Pauls. Mainly because you can tell that they're not good at lip syncing. Like, I gotta show you, dude. I'm sorry. Let me see this.

You gotta see what I'm talking Let me let me see this thing Yeah, yeah, oh he's he is so bad at lip-syncing. Just wait. But like, they think they're cool! They think they're the fucking coolest people. Wait, what is that- you see the Geek Squad thing in the background? Why is that there? They had Best Buy? Oh. Oh, who's this lady? Just a random hot lady. Is that iJustine?

God, if I- Ryan, if I walked in on my, like, my kid watching Jake or Logan Paul, I'd probably grab them by their shirt collar and slap them until they passed out. I guess at the end of the day, all you can say is Jake and Logan Paul are assholes and the world is not fair. But that's the thing. They're a flash in the pan. They're going to be gone after a while. You think? They're not going to be popular.

We're more of a flash of a pan than them. I mean, look at our channel size compared to theirs. I know, like, don't compare our size. No, I don't think channel size has anything to do with that. I'm talking about just, like, people that genuinely, you know, like, care about them. They're famous. They're big because they're in your face. They're assholes.

They brag. And they're fit. It's like they're just like Jacob Sartorius. They're popular for a year and then they're gone. Yeah. It's like, of course, there will always be a fan base behind them even after they've like fallen but um they're just they're a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of things here's the weird thing too because you and i of course are youtubers we're much smaller channel but um what are your thoughts on just kind of like i guess talking like we are

right now about other youtubers well like do you feel like it's i don't like um like bashing other youtubers and stuff um because i guess everyone's got a different style on this but like i think it's different when it's people like jake and logan paul who are openly in your face bragging and being assholes they kind of open themselves up to it yeah but maybe i mean honestly maybe that's what they're capitalizing on i think of course that's what they're capitalizing on i think of course that's what they're capitalizing on they know that that's what getting people watching they know but that's what is going to get people because i think they're one of those people that ride on the hate because so many people hate them yeah that it's like oh uh well you hate me which

means you're going to talk about me which is going to get me more views which gets me more money so i'm going to keep doing things to get you riled up and it works because it's a good marketing it's a great marketing tactic to what they're doing is wonderful wait let me quote you on that no no no no no no no like the way they're doing it is

honestly very I'm not going to say smart but it's it works yeah it works tremendously by the view counter right there 31 million views they came out last month they came from vine they made horrible vines before this and now they they pay people a lot of money to make their videos to make these music videos for them there's that kind of thing in me as a creator that is like i'm not talking about why isn't my content being recognized but there's a bunch of content

that I see on YouTube every day that doesn't get a fraction of the views that more talent and love and just everything is poured into it. Passion is poured into it. This shit is not they don't have a passion for rapping they have a passion for

making money and being a business and you can't fault them at that. But at the same time, I would love to see other creators that are more passionate and more talented. Get the recognition. Get the recognition. So like, but the thing that sucks is like, that's never going to change. No. It's always going to be like that in all industries, you know, Hollywood, YouTube, music.

Yeah. That's how it always is. I mean, that's how it has been for a long time. And I guess, you know, it's not fair, of course. It's not fair. And you get upset when you see that. yeah that's how it always is that i mean that's how it has been for a long time and i i guess you know it's not fair of course it's not fair and and you get upset when you see that so i guess all i can do with the platform that i have is encourage people listening to support smaller channels and smaller people that you can see pour passion into their work like when you like i don't know read makes me want to share videos that i see on facebook like i was always like i don't know read makes me want to share videos that i see on facebook

like i was always like i don't want to share this because you know people will comment yes yes yes daddy likes on it and all that bullshit but yeah but i think at least here's the thing yeah shitty shitty people um will comment cancerously on stuff that you don't want but do you think the eyes that it does hit of you sharing it that that kind of uh i think that's more important that's more important even though and then i always have to backtrack it's not like you know when you and i share something it's gonna become big or whatever but it's just content that i wish people would watch more well i don't share that much stuff like serious music and stuff on Twitter.

And when I do, it's because it's something I really like and I want more people to see it. Yeah. It's, I want, it's got like, you know, I listen to a lot of music and stuff, but there's certain things I just want, like I say, hey, I would like this and I want more people to like this

and more people to see this. So, but that's why, you know, you should always go out and support smaller channels, you know, people that, small people that have Patreons that put a lot of work into it. If you just got an extra little amount a month, you can donate to people like that. I think that makes a big difference to, uh, people that pour their hearts and souls into creating things.

But Ryan, are you ready to close the book on Logan and Jake Paul and never mention them again? Yes. Let's, let's both put a hand on this book and just slam it shut. It's shut now. That is the book of the Pauls. Let's throw that one in the

incinerator. They're gonna continue doing what they're doing. We're gonna continue doing what we do. We're gonna enjoy it. Anyway, let me move on to, you know what everyone loves, video games. Video games! Splatoon 2 is about to drop. Anyway, let me move on to, you know what, everyone loves video games. Video games! Splatoon 2 is about to drop. No, fuck!

What? You just made me realize. What did I realize? I'm not gonna be able to play Splatoon 2 for a whole fucking week. Damn, that sucks. I'm sorry. You're gonna be tired of it. You're not gonna play anymore by the time you get it.

Yeah, it's true. Splatoon is fucking fun. I'm not gonna get tired of Splatoon. I'm mainly excited for Splatoon 2 just for the salmon, whatever it is called. What is that? I played that at E3. The salmon wave? The salmon, what's it called?

The mode where it's like the boss rush. It's very fun. You know, me and my co-op wave-based modes. It was my favorite. I played at E3 with two random guys and then some Nintendo rep. We were all on a team together. It was my favorite. I played at E3 with two random guys and then some Nintendo rep. We were all on a team together. It was very fun. I am so excited for Splatoon 2.

I can't even tell you. Like, it comes out so soon. So soon, baby. The 21st? Yeah, 21st. The day after I leave? Oh, fuck. I'm going to be busy that night and everything.

Why? I'm going to have to cancel all my plans. Oh, yeah. I might just have to be like, sorry, can't do this. I might go to Comic-Con this weekend. I think I am going to go to Comic-Con Saturday in San Diego. So if you're going to be there, keep an eye out. And if you see me, come up and say hey.

And don't cough on me because I got sick when I went to E3, and I'd like to not get sick from going to Comic-Con. Maybe I'll just wear a mask. Stick your fingers in his mouth. Please, please, if you see me at Comic-Con San Diego, do not stick your fingers in my mouth. Do it and say Ryan sent me. No, but in all seriousness, if you do that,

I will actually be very mad at you. He will probably get security. I will be really, I'm not going to get security, but if you stick your fingers in my mouth and I don't know you, I'm going to be very mad. So please don't do that. Just, just, that's it. That's a fair warning. It's a once in a lifetime chance, ladies and gentlemen.

I might have pepper spray on me. Just think about it. Just think about it. You'll have Matt mad at you, but he won't remember you. Stick your fingers in my mouth, I'll bite. Okay, that is fair. You're invading my personal space so I can bite down. Sorry, I'm constantly getting

angry. Take them off the screen. take them off the screen rip them off the screen no no don't click a rice gum video okay now it's just back to the nice japanese wallpaper okay that's very nice okay back back back here you know i i'm gonna i will take a moment i can i could talk about something i've been reading a book lately uh which is a rare occurrence for me because I don't read that often. Because you're stupid. Yes. That's not untrue.

I really – see, like I never read because I never have a – like there's no books I'm ever interested in. And I like reading when I have a good book, but I just never have a good book. But a couple friends recommended a book called Norwegian Wood to me. And I've been reading that. I'm like 20 pages away from the end. And I recommend it. It's very sad. It's very bizarre. But it's really good. Do you like blowjobs?

I like blowjobs. Do you like receiving blowjobs? I like receiving blowjobs. That's the dialogue, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of blowjobs in that book. But that's not why I like it it's actually a good book I want to get back into reading

I want to read books it feels good just burning through a book I think what's burnt me out is the past three times I've tried to start a book I've lost interest in it and I'll be halfway through the book but I'm like I don't care I don't know

this is about to be the first book I've finished in a while. And I know that, I've heard that when people get like Kindles or Nooks, like the e-reader stuff, that they just start reading a lot more. But I really like physical books. I like the feeling of holding a book, and I like the feeling of like, I don't know, give me a feel of the progression as you get through. And then when you're done, you shut it and you hold it and you're like, all right, I just finished this whole thing.

And you can stick it on the shelf with your other books. So, guys, if you have any books that you think I might like or maybe Ryan would like, why don't you recommend them in the comments? And maybe I'll look some of them up and check them out. The next book I'm going to read is 1Q84. Is that the next one in the whatever series? It's not a series, but by the same author. And it's like 900-something pages.

So I'm going to try to tackle that. Have you ever tried Cormac McCarthy? He made The Road, right? He did The Road. He did No Country for Old Men. I didn't know that that was a book. He did a bunch of stuff. Yeah.

The movie's based on a book? Yeah. I had no idea. The book's really good. I remember when I found out that Forrest Gump was based on a book. I was so shocked. If, I don't know, do you like the feeling of No Country for Old Men as a movie? I haven't seen it.

The intense, oh my god. I really, I suggest, even though, like, a lot of people already, you know, really like him, Cormac McCarthy's a great author. I definitely want to read The Road, because if it's your favorite book, I'd probably like it too, so it's got to be good, so. Love that book. Do you have a copy of it? Yes. Maybe I'll have to borrow it. Maybe we can trade books.

Maybe. Maybe you can try Norwegian Wood and I'll try The Road. I think the last book I read was The Martian. It was either The Martian or some short story book that had an owl on the cover. Mr. Tom's Owls. Let me see if I can find that book.

What was it? I'm going to look up on Amazon short story novel or something. Is that what you searched to find the book in the first place? Norwegian Woods about this 20-year-old guy living in Tokyo in 1969 and he meets a really interesting girl and then

he meets another interesting girl and one of the girls has like has some mental problems and that's all I'm gonna say that's all I'm gonna say about that it's very good though touching my emotions you know what else touches your emotions what women last time a woman touched my emotions

was when my ex-wife left me you know she got a breast implants yes I know she's been posting but she doesn't post them on like Instagram You know, she got a breast implant. Yes, I know. She's been posting. I know. But she doesn't post them on Instagram. Yeah, I know.

She direct message them to people and shit. Yes, I know she does that. I'm fully aware. She did that when I was married to her, too. You saw the guy she was with. Yes, I have seen the guy she's with now. Something that I wanted to bring up that i'm that i'm kind of bring it down about what this will mark like the second or third year in a row where i will have not gone thanksgiving no this will be the second year in a row i think where i have not gone to uh

the fair the columbia fair like in south carolina I went last time I went was 2015 oh wow I think I went last year didn't I I happened to be going back to Columbia when it was there I like the fair I like going especially with like a significant other but guess what there's none of those around are there

where are the significant others where are they I'm lonely god damn it! But uh God I love the fair. Well what I like about the Columbia Fair is it's just small. It's not like a big like well it's big but it's not like a massive

fair where it's like it's just like kind of a small town fair. You know I was in Maryland once and the whole town I was near Antietam and the whole town was at a demolition derby, which was next to the fair. I went to the demolition derby to see a little bit of it. I've never been to a demolition derby where guys crash cars into each other. Super loud?

I heard it's super loud. It was really weird. It was a lot of redneck-type people. In fact, from South Carolina, I've never seen a more redneck place than Maryland, which is up north. I've gone to like a monster truck thing once when I was younger. I just remember not liking it. I remember it just being boring to me. This wasn't like that.

This was literally a dirt pin with guys in old beat-up cars smashing them into each other. That seems like fun. It was fun. It was interesting. And then the fair was open, and everyone in town was at the demolition derby. So there were probably like four other people at the fair. My friend and I went. There was not a line for anything.

And the guy would let us ride the rides for like 20 minutes straight. You lucky son of a beach. Do you have a favorite ride at the South Carolina State Fair? Because it's a traveling fair. I do. It comes to Charleston too. So I like the, the one, it's like the hang glider where you lay down and then it, you know, it's on the arms and it goes around in circles.

That one, I like that. I did that in Japan too when I was in Yokohama. Very fun. And. Sorry, I was, I was, I was just going to say mine. No, go ahead and say it. Say it. What's your favorite?

Mine's either going to, it's going to be boring, but I'm thinking of the ride that I could connect the most good memories with and the ride that I actually just enjoy. It's not even a ride. It's the thing that just carries you across the fair. Oh, the skyline. I love that. The skyline is just great. It's so much fun.

Except for the assholes that always like to spit from them. Have you ever encountered them? Yeah, and it's like, hey, I can just followholes that always like to spit on, like spit from them. Have you ever encountered them? Yeah. And it's like, hey, you know, I can just follow the skyline back to where you get off. Yeah. Like, how stupid are you? Like, I'll just, okay, fine.

You think you're real big up there in the sky, but guess what? You're coming back down to earth like the rest of us. Well, my thing about the skyline was it opened my eyes to the basketball booth. It's an oval. Yeah. When you go over it, you see it's an oval. Like the hoop is an oval. Yep.

And it's like I could see that from up here. Why would they put that right by the skyline where people can see the shape of the hoop is an oval? I mean, those games are not for like... If you're a 100% intelligent person and you go and you always listen to that intelligent part of your brain, you're never going to play those games right you're just never going to I think they're fun

they're fun but I'm talking about someone who knows what they're for knows what they are and is going to take that consideration into spending their money they're probably not going to do that honestly I would have played it until I saw that it was like an oval hoop because before

it just seemed like fun and games. But then when I saw it was actually a scam that like kind of opened my eyes to the rest of the fair things where I'm like, oh, most of these are probably scams. The only one that I legitimately won was the guess the speed of your pitch. You guess the speed of your pitch? Yeah. Why are you doing this? Why aren't you playing baseball?

Because I threw my arm out. And now when I throw too hard or for too long, my, like, joint and my, like, elbow hurts. Oh, shit. I actually, I won a goldfish at the fair once. But I gave it to my friend and he kept it for, like, a year or two. And he got a really big tank for it. You should have dropped it on someone from the skyline. That would have been good. Yeah, just a live little goldfish.

I should have dropped the whole bag so it popped on someone's head. But he went on vacation and he came home once and the goldfish was like three feet away from the tank on the floor. It was three feet tall? Sitting in his bed smoking a cigarette. No, it was out when he got home it had jumped out of the tank like three feet away from it. And it's dead. No, it was out. When he got home, it had jumped out of the tank

like three feet away from it. And it's dead. Yeah, it was dead. It was just on the ground. Because apparently they do that. They do that when they don't have enough oxygen in the water. They'll just jump out. Well, that's why you always get covers for your aquariums.

Well, my friend, you know who you are. I haven't talked to you in a couple years. But if you are listening, you messed up. Okay? You fucked up big time, boy. Your goldfish's death is, the blood is on your hands. It's all your fault. It's all your fault.

I missed that little thing. He was cool. Your friend? No, the goldfish. I miss the goldfish more than my friend. I think you're talking about your friend. I missed that little thing. I can't believe that goldfish survived that whole 13-hour drive from Maryland just sitting

in a bag on the floorboards of the car. I had a good time, though. I'm sure you had a great time. I like fishing bags. I like, oh yeah, I wish like It's like a water balloon with a little fish in it. I like the feeling of water balloons in general. And then when you got a little creature swimming around, I would love to get an aquarium like some fish, but it's just

that's just something else that adds another layer of responsibility in my life that I just don't want or need right now. Yeah. It's like I want to get a little aquarium, but then that means I have to take care of the fish. I have to feed them. There's aquarium maintenance. Yeah.

I got to change the water out and make sure. Yeah, all that. And I have a cat, which I'm sure would love to either get into the aquarium or eat those fish any chance or knock the whole aquarium onto the ground. So that's something I would not like to see happen. What if like banana choked on the fish and then they both died and I was down a cat and, and, and a banana died.

You take him to the vet. The vet does an autopsy on your little cat. He sees the goldfish, but for some reason in that pocket of the throat, a bunch of water was there. So the goldfishfish is still alive and he goes out of this tragedy came something beautiful would you keep that goldfish and call it banana well i already it already had a name i already had the goldfish it's not like brand new it is now it's been reborn yeah through the throat of my dead cat like a born-again virgin however the fuck that works i remember i remember going to the hymen the abstinence show or the abstinence concert

whatever you called it in church because it was like you went to an abstinence concert it's like a big fucking thing uh you could buy them for like 50 or 60 bucks you should go to one of those like it's grown men i love the fact that you can be a born again virgin ryan should we we should do like a public like we should do a meetup but instead of like a regular fan meetup where we just like meet with people we should just put on like a pop-up concert for for an abstinence concert a purity concert and throw purity rings out and then that's it what message would that show yeah that actually would not send the best message to grown men. You have an audience of.

Yeah. OK, yeah. Never mind. We're not going to do that, guys. Sorry to burst your bubbles. But but girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble. And that is the end of this podcast, guys. Thank you so much for listening.

See you next week. Episode 53. Peace. That was a bad ending. Can you do a better one? Yeah. Okay. I got one.

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Matt. Why'd you throw it to me? I thought you had something. I'm sorry. Okay. Let me do it. Outro Music