supermegashow - EP 62 - Tales From The Past

Episode Date: October 6, 2017

Ryan once hung out with the cool kid in school and unexpected things happened, Matt floats his idea for Space sponsorships, and many stories from the past arise. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, welcome back to SuperMegaCast. It's me, Ryan. Uh, Matt is currently standing shirtless across the window pane in the control room. Is that what we can call it, Matt? The control room? Is that what it's actually called? What is it- What is it called boy this is Matt Watson everybody let's hear a round of applause but like is that what is that called the control room or you and I gotta have a stern what do you fucking call it Matt it's

called the control room that's what I call it is that actually well I just call it the hallway but I think the control not a hallway anymore I mean it's it's it's a Yeah, it's not really a hallway because now we actually have a legitimate hallway in the office. Yeah, this is just like some room that's got a bunch of computers and shit. It's cool, though. Yeah, but I'm gonna put my shirt back on. Yeah, that would probably be good. I mean, oh, man, nobody can tell.

Yeah, but I feel weird sitting. You know what, dude? I'm gonna do this podcast if you shirt on if you're comfortable like that yeah it feels good man it feels free I don't know what it is sometimes if I'm in a hot like just kind of a warm room and I take my shirt off I feel like this tickling down my side and I look

and it's just a sweat droplet running from my armpit all the way like down the side of my stomach and stuff I'm like ugh really? yeah I don't know why oh my god dude doesn't even matter how hard I try. Keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme. To remind myself why.

That's that's those are the actual lyrics. That's from the unrated version. He just goes. Oh, man. But, yeah, it's 1153 p.m. on Friday, September 15th right now. Because we said, you know what? Let's just fucking go into the office. Let's go record a podcast.

Why not? You just got back from being in the office, and I got back from being at Universal Horror Haunts. Whatever the fuck they call it. Horror Nights? Horror Nights. Yeah, I'm more into Universal Horror Nights if Whatever the fuck they call it. Horror Nights? Horror Nights. Yeah, I'm more into Universal Horror Nights if you catch my drift. I stood in a line for the Saw haunted house, whatever, for 30 minutes. And then I looked at the thing and it bumped up from 40 minutes to 90 minutes, which means I still had an hour left in the line.

I'm like, fuck this. I can't stand in lines. I don't know. But if you get out of the line when you're already in it, then you stood in that line i'm like fuck this i can't i can't stand in lines i i don't know but if you get out of the line when you're already in it then you stood in that line for nothing no for i i had a good experience i got to uh watch some trailers that were being displayed on a building man seriously when i go to amusement park my favorite ride is the line yeah absolute favorite i went to uh the fried chicken plate what's what's the cletus's cluck bucket i don't know oh it ate the simpsons area yeah yeah it was bad was it bad not like

while i was eating it i liked it just because i was fucking hungry and didn't eat it and i hadn't had anything all day besides a diet pepsi or two this is fried chicken man god it's just like afterwards i'm like going on rides and it's like I can feel it settling in. I'm like, you know, you know, the difference after you eat like regular food versus fried fruit food. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know that difference. I have feeling it's you feel it a lot at the South Carolina State Fair because that's like the thing to do. You get French fries, you get fucking fried whatever the fuck they have.

They're special items. Fried donuts. Oh, my God. Do you remember that? Sorry, I'm going back in nostalgia. You know at the fair, that donut stand they have, and you see the donuts kind of like going along this like conveyor belt contraption and their little donuts that they shovel into a bag.

It's like every state fair. It's fucking amazing. I know, but I'm talking about our state fair because it makes me feel special. Well, guess what, Ryan? I'm talking about our state fair, too. And I'm saying that those donuts are freaking delicious. They're good. I've only had them like twice. They're so good. And they put the fucking powdered

sugar on it. I'd love to go in and actually count the amount of calories. Like go back in time and like have a little, be like a little fucking dumbass calorie counter man. I'll follow my past self. Like I'll try to hide from them. I'm wearing like a cloak or some shit. Yeah.

Top hat, maybe a monocle and mustache. One of those like opera masks. Yeah. No, I'm wearing those, what are those glasses with the nose? Groucho Marx glasses.

Yeah, I'm wearing like Groucho Marx glasses with a fucking snapback and a, like a Harry Potter fan shirt. And I'm like following my younger self, documenting the calories. Just to count calories? Just to see how many calories I ate way back when. Just at the state fair. I'm thinking about all the fried food, all the bullshit that I ate.

Just because it's like, do you want anything? And I'm like, ooh, cotton candy. Just a little cotton candy. Lemonade. Candy apples. Donuts. Turkey leg. Elephant I'm like, ooh, cotton candy. Just a little cotton candy. Lemonade. Candy apples. Donuts. Turkey leg. Elephant ear.

Dude, I just realized something. What? I was thinking about those Groucho Marx glasses, which people don't know. Those are those classic glasses where it's like, you know, black circular glasses with a fake nose and a mustache and big eyebrows. With a big pink nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There has to have, just statistically, in history, been one person who used Groucho Marx glasses as a disguise and actually pulled something off.

Oh, 100%. Like, there has to have been one point in history. Like they walked into a bank and was like, can I get a loan and use someone else's social security number? Yeah, but it's got to have been someone that's fooled someone with those glasses before. Like on a security camera, or they just pulled a quick one on someone. Like I had no idea it was him. I didn't recognize this man I'd seen on TV, this man that is one in Fugitive. I didn't know it was him.

I couldn't report because he had a mustache and glasses and a big nose. I want to see like a film where, you know, like those movies where kids, like three kids stack on top of each other and one of them wears like the groucho marx glasses or whatever yeah like i want to see a movie where like they accidentally commit a crime and then the cops like get the description of the guy and they bring in three groups of three different kids doing the same shit oh god could you step to the front please make you step to the front, please? Make shovels to the front. Could you open your cloak? No. God, dude, do you think...

And that's had to have happened, too. No, that's never happened. No, no, like three kids have gotten on each other's shoulders and gotten like a large duster and worn it. Do you think that shit has spawned out of like reality? That's had to have happened. Do you think kids shit is spawned out of like reality that's had to have happened do you think kids actually were like let's let's get a big fucking cloak and yeah they it's not a cloak it's a duster whatever well the same thing whatever dude like there's got

like cloak like they're fucking wizards dude picture this it's the year like 1910 it's like this didn't happen in 1910 this happened in like 1950 something excuse me 1950s or 60s okay the year is 1950 there's some kids that want to get some alcohol but they're not old enough so they get on each other's shoulders put on a cloak go into a bar and sit down

and then they get a drink cause it's a full grown man clearly that's had to have happened I like your idea of hiring a priest oh yeah i had this idea well i might have said it i think have you said it on the podcast i might have been but it's been a long thing you've like been keeping a secret no so like i might have said it okay it's just it's been a long time because obviously i can't do this anymore because i'm over the age of 21 some of legal drinking age but before i was legally old enough to drink, I had an idea on how to legally drink,

which is where I would hire a priest to come to a bar with me or to come to just wherever there's alcohol being served. And then I get him to perform a blessing on the alcohol so it's considered a communion so then I can legally drink it. Because I had wine at church when I was a kid. But it's not, you're technically, you would be breaking the when I was a kid. But it's not, like, you're technically

you would be breaking the law, but more than you, it's the establishment that's breaking the law. For serving me alcohol. But they were serving the priest alcohol. And he blessed it for you. And that's my communion. I'm not drinking alcohol underage, I'm drinking the blood of Christ underage. So that's

what it is in the eyes of the law. It's not alcohol. The only way you'd get away with that is if your dad was like mayor of some small southern town what about what what if i just because i think you can be 18 i justine i justine i took that great picture with her at vidcon oh what a lovely picture you met her in person which is she like super short she's very short yeah women she let me smash a whole cinder block over her head it was fucking hilarious but um what if i ordained myself as a minister like i spend my whole teen years getting ready for the minister challenge however you become a minister um what's up guys welcome to the minister challenge then i go to a bar and let's say i'm 20 and i'm a minister at 20 i could just bless the the shit myself and drink it So then I don't even have to have a priest with me.

You know? Matt, I don't think you have to bless shit to eat it. But, um, because you said you're going to bless your shit. Like your poo-poo, your caca. Okay, for real though. What if a priest... That won't work legally. Yeah, but what if a priest blessed some shit?

And I, could I eat that? Like if a priest blessed some shit and i could i eat that like if a priest blessed like let's say like the priest the part of the wine is that he's blessing it and it's like symbolism for jesus's blood or some people are like it turns into blood when it's in my body yeah i guess that'd be pretty sacrilegious so the poop would be what what would the poop be is it the the feces of christ the feces of christ i mean christ was human he he shit of course he shit so yeah he could be blessing it and saying this is the the feces of christ and he shit pissed that's weird to think about man jesus jesus grew up sometimes probably he did all that stuff i bet jesus snored he got stomach aches. I bet you he had one of those

times where he falls off of something and hits the ground hard on his back and it knocks the air out of him and he's just like, Oh! And he turns into Santa Claus. That's the origin of Santa Claus. Jesus fell over and got the wind knocked out of him.

Just instantly turned into this big cherry red fat man. But he gets teleported to the North Pole with a bunch of fucking reindeer. They thought they were moving the boulder. They were just moving Jesus when he was Santa Claus. They were rolling him like a Katamari. Because you can roll fat people.

Remember those funny rolling fat people jokes in high school and middle school? I wonder if there's anyone that's proportionally fit to be rolled. Like, if there's anyone out there that's, you know, they're fat and their proportion's just, you know... No. They fit more of a sphere shape than a human form,

so you could roll them if you had enough, like, people pushing. A sphere shape than human form. Like, not so much as, like, a human shape, but, like, more of a spherical object. Violet Beauregard. Yeah, like in Harry Potter. Fuck it, not Harry Potter. Willy a human shape, but like more of a spherical object. Violet Beauregard. Yeah, like in Harry Potter. Fuck it, not Harry Potter. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Yeah, they're really close. Yeah, they're very closely related stories. When I think of Willy Wonka, I think of fucking Griffith, Gryffindor, or whatever. Dude, did you ever read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? We had to in school. Okay, did you ever read the sequel, though? I knew there was a sequel, I never read it. Dude, that shit's fucked up. He's killing people

left and right in that book. Like, Willy Wonka's killing people. No, he's not. Seriously, dude, he kills people left and right with that glass elevator shit. He's killing people. He's out there massacring people. What's the premise of the sequel? I don't even remember. They build a glass elevator. Glass elevators in the first one? Yeah, they have

that, and it flies around and there's some I don't I seriously I think I read that in like 5th grade I don't remember any of the plot I just know it's about

the glass elevator you know what the sequel to the Iron Giant is the Iron Woman yep is that really just the Iron Woman mhm

I actually have a copy of the book you said you read it right it's weird I didn't read the Iron Woman I read the Iron Giant the original one in the original Iron Giant isn't there like a dragon and shit?

yeah, there's a dragon like the size of Australia or something oh my god dude, I didn't know your mom was in that book is she the dragon the size of Australia or is she Australia like, is she the size of Australia or is she the dragon the size of Australia uh, she's just

she's just the size of Australia. DUDE! I'm sorry! Imagine having a friend that freaked out at that level. Just like at an instant. Just like he gets that he's being made fun of or gets that something is just like...

He's like, dude, I don't know... WHAT THE FUCK?! It's like a fucking balloon popping, man. That's like you're playing with a rubber band and it snaps. I know. It's like, oh, jeez. There are people like met i've met like probably a few of them in high school i had a friend like that and he would just like snap i remember one time we were playing guitar hero and uh his guitar wouldn't connect and dude he just fucking he threw that shit against the wall

fuck and he just like walked out of the room and he went in his room and slammed the door and i thought he was joking and i was like oh i really hope this is a joke cause if this is real that's real awkward oh no um and like he was in there for like 30 seconds and I'm like okay he'll come out in a second like a minute goes by so I go over to his room and I open the door and he's like on the bed and he's like fuck stupid shit

I was just like man it's alright it's okay dude I've been another time we were playing WarioWare smooth moves and I was beating him and he just threw the Wii controller down and then he's and then he went and he stood he stood in the doorframe of Our playroom just staring down the stairs going Stupid stupid and Like the rest of the time he was a fully normal dude. Like never. But in moments like that it would happen.

He would just get really fucking pissed. Just snap dude. Did I tell you about how I put a hole in my wall? Back at my old home? A lot. What happened? You did a long time ago. I don't remember.

Did I tell you the story? Ages ago. I don't remember though. Okay. Well one day it was me and two of my friends. We were all up in my room having a good time. Epic dude. And I was doing this funny gag where it's like, could you imagine if my parents walked up and they saw us all masturbating or whatever?

Like masturbating together and dancing or some shit. and dancing or some shit and then i proceeded to pantomime the action of me jerking off drunkenly dancing and then i lost my footing and fell backwards and slammed into my wall and my shoulder put a hole in it holy shit i got so scared i didn't want to tell my dad so i covered it up with a jaws poster for the longest time the hole is still there it never got patched it never got patched dude i was i was there was there was a time when i was that kid where like not often but sometimes something would happen at someone else's house i just know my parents were like we're the parents who brought the kid to a stranger's house and then this happened my parents went to this like church group once and they brought me along because they're like

yeah there'll be other kids there. And this was like Sunday night, like eight o'clock. So I'm like, OK, I'll go. There's food, blah, blah, blah. So my parents go to do their thing with their the people from church. And I go upstairs with some other kids. I find out upstairs they have like a like an indoor gym in this person's house and they just have regular drywall walls. Yeah.

So I turn on the treadmill and me and this other kid start having a good time. And we're, like, climbing on the treadmill, and, you know, you get on your butt. So when you, the treadmill makes you slide. Get on your butt? Like, no, yeah. You get on your butt, and then you climb on the treadmill. So, like, it's like a fun little thing. And you get on like this.

Look. I'd be too scared to do that. Well, it was going slow. But anyway. I stood on it and hopped off when I got to the end. I've done that. Oh, yeah. Well, we did that on our butts.

It was fun. It's kind of like a water a water slide but so we're playing on the treadmill we're having fun and for some reason like i turned it up and i just got this genius idea to put like a 20 pound weight on it while i was doing that what do you mean like with you no just by itself i just put the weight on it i don't know why like i don't know what the fuck i was thinking and the weight flies off the treadmill and slams into the wall. Because you've got to think, the treadmill has to be able to handle your weight and the weight of a very large person. So 20 pounds isn't that much to me. Yeah, I put a dumbbell on it.

The iron dumbbell flies off the treadmill, smashes right into the wall, making a giant hole. Oh, my God. And this person's wall that my parents are coming over to for, like, one of the first times. And I'm just the kid they brought so i effectively put a huge hole in their drywall just playing around on their exercise equipment i shouldn't have even been on oh that's horrible there's a lot of moments like that when i was a kid where like i just do some shit and it's like oh wait that was fucked up or like just it went down a totally different i went then it went down a rabbit hole i wasn't expecting um i'm trying to remember this one just like just stupid shit that happened when i was a kid i told you the story of when i was uh playing in a tree house with my friend and i was like

having fun and i was trying to just like jump off of it and swing a little like tarzan and then then i i don't know how it happened i literally don't know the physics but the way i landed just like jump off of it and swing a little like Tarzan. And then, then I, I don't know how it happened. I literally don't know the physics, but the way I landed the rope wrapped around the tree and tied me to the tree. How does that happen? I don't know. All I know is I jumped in the next thing,

like the back of my head hurts and I, and I opened my eyes and I'm like tied to the tree for a little bit. And then it like, then I like start scraping down on my back it scratched up on the tree what there's I have a bad um run with tire swings there's this other time where these people and I'm I'm a dumb ass these people do they they had a just a rope swing on a tree and let's say the tree was kind of bent a little and the rope was hanging off so people people could kind of like go from one, like the far right side of the tree and swing. Right. Cause there was a dip on the ground and then,

uh, you know, get on the left side. I had the bright idea of not swinging my momentum to the left, but just going straight out. And I come right back, slam into the tree and fall back. And it's just this awkward moment of like,

like I'm obviously like the one ruining everyone else's fun because I'm getting hurt and Connor then like Connor has to leave and we just got there and nobody was swinging yet and I'm like I'm gonna try are you sure that first story like you didn't just get snuck up on by a bandit knocked you out and tied you to a tree

that's definitely not what happened it just like somehow I got like wrapped to the tree i don't fucking know dude i was trying to because the thing wasn't happening the thing was when i got because it caused a rash because it was just one like loop around it wasn't yeah it wasn't like i was like tied like to the tree i was like this and i fell and the rope was around me like this and it tightened on my waist so when I fell it tightened and it like scraped up my back

and I got rope burn right here that's crazy dude it was like right here see my belly I wonder if you can hear it like sloshing around it just sounds like I just slapped my nuts against my thighs. Or my ankles.

Yeah, dude. I hate when my nuts touch my ankles. Dude, I hate it so fucking much. Dude, I hate when I'm walking around and my nuts, just because they're so big, just hanging down and slap my knees. Dude, I hate having a huge penis. Dude, yeah. they're so big just hanging down and slap my knees dude i hate having a huge penis dude yeah you ever you know you never like when you're peeing and and your your penis goes into the

toilet then you pull it out and there's a fish on the end you know like all the way through the pipes yeah i hate when that happens god i having a big dick sucks yeah dude sometimes my dick is so big i'm sitting on the toilet and I flush it It sucks my dick down And then I have to call the plumber And he says sorry it's just too long This one time I used my dick as a body pillow Dude one time

It's so big Cause it's the size of a body pillow And it can lengthen That's when it's flaccid Cause it's so big One time I went to a soup kitchen and it can lengthen that's when it's flaccid because it's so big oh yeah yeah one time

I went to a soup kitchen and they couldn't get any of the cans of soup open so they lined them up and uh with one swift swing

I slapped them all open with my penis oh did it spill everywhere no not a drop was lost that's what big penis yep

woo did I tell you the story matt of uh have i told you the story of the time uh i went over to this cool kid's house like he was like known as like a cool kid he was he was a cool kid yeah i was like this is middle school so you know they had those clicks yeah he was a he was uh what you could call a matt popular yeah um i didn't run in that circle when i was in school um but i remember he invited me over to his house and he lived in this place in south carolina called ascot which do you know about ascot at all yeah you know it's like for rich people it's where all the mansions are and shit well he had a house there and like dude you know Yeah. He was rich and cool, and I think he played football later in high school. I think it turned out people started thinking he was a loser, and it was kind of funny to see his downfall.

But he was a dick to me throughout middle school. After we hung out, he started bullying me, which was weird. But he wanted to make new, cooler friends. Anyways, the first time I go over to his house, he showed me all this cool stuff. And I'm like, oh, this is so cool. I'm making a really cool friend or whatever. Then all of a sudden he goes, wait a second. Do you know what lesbians are?

I'm like, no. So he looks up porn online. He's a lesbian. And we're both looking like, wow. And I had no idea about you know porn or anything this is my introduction to it because i remember specifically um after this going to like my computer at the desktop and typing in like lesbians lesbian videos girl kissing girl lesbian videos like stuff like that yeah yeah yeah um the innocent google search like big boobs yeah like that shit naked woman but um i used to search naked woman and big boobs

but this friend we found this website and we're starting to watch the videos and i'm just like whoa because like i don't know what i'm feeling at this point i'm like i'm definitely like this definitely something dude yeah i'm feeling something this is new but then my friend goes hold on on one second, man. I got to use the restroom. Then I'm like, okay. And so then I just sit down, like I sit there and like 10 minutes passes. I'm like, what's going on?

And I'm like, Hey, um, just hold on, man. Hold on. And then I go back and I noticed and i'm like hmm i want to i want to watch more of those videos i guess one of those funny lady videos so then i go to where the computer was and it's gone and so i didn't know it at the time this is like something that i figured out years down the road is that he spent a large portion of that night continuing to go to the bathroom over and over again to masturbate to porn we found and he totally did not hang out with me that night at all he just spent the whole time hanging out jerking off by himself yeah in the bathroom with

his laptop and then he would come out like have a conversation then he like go get some water or whatever then he'd go back into the restroom and like take a bath or whatever I just realized this and I thought like he was just I thought he was just like oh he just wow he has to go to the bathroom a lot but no this cool kid that became like super popular in school my first time hanging out with him all he did

was ditch me in his room as I sit there alone oh yeah his brother also had girls gone wild CD like DVDs and shit. Damn, really? That's why he was cool? His brother was one of the people that actually bought that shit. That's why they made money, because people like him.

Yeah, no, I kind of sympathize with him. Every time my wife's boyfriend comes over, it's that story with me. Did I ever tell you about the kid that lived in my neighborhood? And he would always, like, he lived on the other side of my neighborhood the title of this podcast should be dude did I ever tell you or just like did I ever tell you did I ever tell you dude

there weren't that many kids in my neighborhood that I knew and this kid lives on the other side of the neighborhood and I didn't know him that well we weren't really friends what was he known as like he didn't go to my What was he known as? He didn't go to my school.

Oh, was he known around the neighborhood as like the weird kid or the cool kid or like the just, oh, no one really talks to him. Like, I don't know anything about this kid. I remember we were in seventh grade at the time, and he was the only person that I knew of in my life that had ever smoked weed. So he was that kid. I was pretty of in my life that had ever smoked weed so he was that kid i was pretty off put by that knowing that i was like oh i don't want to i don't want to hang out with him he's bad yeah um but he he really wanted to keep hanging out with me and he came over one day and he just knocked on my door and he's like hey is matt home i was like and i came i come down he's like hey man just thought i thought i'd hang out and i was like okay um i'm a little nervous because you know he's i heard that he did weed so really wait how old were you seventh grade wow holy shit so back then that was that was really like whoa whoa i don't think i knew anyone

who did who actually like smoked weed until maybe god senior year of high school If not freshman year of college Yeah well that's why this was such a Shock to me Cause I was really straight edge growing up I never drank or smoked or did any of that in high school I was a straight edge boy You could put a big L on my forehead But he pulls out his cell phone

He's like hey you know I got a military cell phone I was like no what's that And he's like check it out and he's standing on my front porch he just chucks his phone out into the street like as hard as he can and it just it just hits the ground and just breaks into pieces oh my god

like the battery flies out and the back flies off and he walks and he's like shoot and he puts them back together he's like yeah but it's pretty durable oh my god you know what this fucking kid did as well the same and he's like, shoot. He puts them back together. He's like, yeah, but it's pretty durable. Oh, my God. You know what this fucking kid did as well? What? The same day he's over.

This might have been another time the next week he invited himself over. He told me how he was getting into parkour. This is right when parkour is becoming a thing. This is right on the very horizon of parkour. You just found out about it through a trend on the internet. And it's like kids my age were getting into it. It's like, whoa, parkour. We're watching parkour like you just found out about it through a trend on the internet and it's like kids like my age were getting into it's like whoa parkour we're watching parkour videos and shit he's like you know i'm learning how to parkour i was like really he's like yeah check it out the my back porch at the time was raised it was probably the porch is probably five feet off the

ground okay with three feet of railing yeah so in total about eight feet that's what I meant so he goes to show me this parkour move and he just like runs and he springs himself off the railing of the little porch and he just falls and he smacks into the ground hard the type where you can hear that like

like the grass in the ground just yeah you hear that bassy boom he kind of rolls a little bit and he gets up he just dusts himself off what and i was like ow dude he was like that's fine it's not it's not easy it's just weird i just remembered that i hadn't thought about that in years had another like weird like happening in uh this was probably middle school i would say yeah definitely middle school um so there was this kid he um he hung out with like all the popular kids but he was one of the athletic ones he was like a big black football player and he was really cool and he hung out

with all the cool boys and girls at school and there there I was not a cool boy. So there's the dynamic. They, they like would go out and play football and all the girls would talk about them. And I'd be like, fuck it's, it's that whole like mental thing where I put myself below them. And I think they put themselves above me.

It was that with me. And then one time, one of them, uh, one of the kids, he, he asked me if I want to come over to his house and play video games with him or sometime after school and i'm like what i'm like uh sure uh yeah

he's like okay whatever and like he he go i end up riding my bike to his house and i get there he's like okay let's go play some video games man I'm like oh sweet okay uh because I like playing like Nintendo 64 I used to go over to my neighbors and watch them play like Super Mario 64 and shit like that because I was never really good at video games just when I was younger I used to run around and open video games Ryan yeah I mean I'm I'd say I'm average probably just poor in a lot of ways that people could of course judge me for but i like playing them blah blah blah so i get there and he turns on this slow ass fucking computer and it starts whizzing on and i'm like oh i thought we were playing blah blah whatever so it like turns on and on the desktop there are like just a few icons one of them is like word or something like that in powerpoint

i think it was like that whole pack of like microsoft office and then there was this bright pink one this and it was like some like barbie pet makeover game and he clicks it and then he starts to play it and i'm sitting there going what the fuck are you serious yeah and then then he hands it over to me he goes come on you make you one and then and then i and then I sat there in his house. And I'm sitting there making this Barbie pet grooming fucking game or whatever. I don't even know. I just remember it was some girly Barbie-ish dog grooming game.

And I did it. And he's like, huh. I'm like, yeah. He's like, this is a good game, man. I love it. I really like it. Oh, dude. I'm like, OK, it's like, this is a good game, man. You know, I love it. I really like it. I'm like, okay. He's opening up to you.

I know. And then, um, we never hung out after that. I don't know why. What if he just like, like he read you wrong and like you had a great time deep down, but I remember how that hangout session ended. What happened? We were biking back. He was like, uh, we were like biking around cause we were going to we were going to go to the park and then uh

some other i i'm about to say their names because i still remember their names like two of his other friends or three of his other friends came up and like he's like hey man we were thinking about going to the park you want to go and i'm like oh like to him he was like yeah sure then he like turned back to me it was like like, it was like, Hey man, I'll see you some other time. And like, as we had plans that we were going to the park, he immediately was like cut and run with me. Oh dude,

you just played a Barbie game with me. Does that not count as anything? You should have said that. You should have just dropped it. He was more open to me than probably any of his friends. He probably like, I was the one like way he could be like, I want to talk to someone about this.

Like, like he chooses the fucking dopey little white boy. That's why, dude. It's because he liked this game and he didn't know how to tell anyone, but he wanted someone to connect with about it, man. He was like, I got to connect with someone. He actually grew up at our high school. This is so weird how people end up doing this.

The same kid where I felt like he was above me went up to be a I think he played basketball a little bit. But then he played football. But he was actually better than the other kid that I'm talking about. Speaking of like hiding shit like that Barbie game. Yeah. I worked with this guy. He was he was kind of off putting. He was this dude that's like kind of like tall tall lanky dude off-putting as in like

intimidating or just gross? just gross like just weird you know just odd yeah and he had like some greasy black hair and he had a very raspy voice

and he worked back in the kitchen a lot and as I got to know him more I started to pick up on the fact that he's like a pathological liar like one of the people that has lying is like a mental illness where they lie about everything.

And you catch it on it really easily. I worked with a kid like that at Food Lion. Yeah. So he would say stuff like, yeah, I speak seven languages. Is this the same dude? This dude was like, not lanky, but he was like, he did

this. He looked like this at Food Lion. He sounded the exact same way. He was like not lanky but he was like he did this he looked like this at food lion he sounded the exact same way he was like and he lied all the fucking time to get out of shifts that I would have to cover for and shit oh that's so annoying yeah but like he would lie frequently and it became known around the restaurant that like he

lies it's all he does is lie and he would always say all this crazy stuff and I was like alright dude that's all he does is lie. And he would always say all this crazy stuff. And I was like, all right, dude, that's cool. He's clearly lying. And I remember one day he rushed out in the middle of a shift all panicked. And my manager's like, oh, man. He just got a call from the hospital. And they said that his dad's been in a horrible accident.

And he's not going to make it. So he has to go say his goodbyes. And I was like, oh, man. That's awful. That sucks. Fast forward. Later that night, man, that's awful. That sucks. Fast forward. Later that night, the fair is in town. My manager gets off and goes with another coworker. And they see this dude at the fair just having fun, just like eating a candied apple or cotton candy or something.

They just see him at the fair. So next time he comes into work, they're like, what? Is your dad OK? And he's like, oh, yeah, what, is your dad okay? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, he's going to be fine actually. Turns out he's going to be fine. And they're like, all right, well, we heard that you were at the fair. And he's like, no.

And like, well, we're going to need to see some proof that you were at the hospital. And he goes, all right, let me go get it. And he goes out to his car, came back never showed up for another shift just gone really? just chickened out and just left didn't know he was caught just never went back to the restaurant

how did he think he wasn't gonna get caught on that shit? and if you wanna go to the fair like just say you're sick and go home or just go to the fair just say you're gonna like say hey I threw up in the bathroom

I need to go home and then go to the fair kids if you wanna get out of work say you threw up in the bathroom cause there's no way they can't prove it or if you have going to like say, hey, I threw up in the bathroom. I need to go home and then go to the fair. Kids, if you want to get out of work, say you threw up in the bathroom because there's no way they can't prove it. Or if you have a manager like me, they won't care. Or if you had a manager like mine. I had to stand up there and I was sick and I was had a bad back at that time. Some jobs just don't give a shit if you're sick.

They're like, oh, man, I remember. I mean, I'm kind of being a bad boy by admitting this. But I mean, there are a lot of girls that like bad boys. So I might be doing myself a favor. Who knows? Anyway, I remember there were just days when I got home from school and I'd have to be at work in 30 minutes for a five hour shift until 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night. And I'm just thinking like, man, I just I need a break. I'm calling in sick.

So I call in and I'd be like, hey, I have a fever. I can't come in today. Because truth be told, there were so many of those days after school where they just didn't need me. I'd be there. And like 75% of the time I'm twiddling my thumbs looking for like faking work, you know, like sweeping shit that doesn't need to be swept and just kind of like restocking stuff that's already full. Just because there's nothing to do. It's a slow afternoon.

And I'm like. I'm really. I'm sick. I got a fever. And I just remember the first time the manager was like. Alright. Just bring a doctor's note next time you come in. And I was like.

Shit. Oh shit. And I didn't enjoy my day off. Because I panicked the whole time. I never brought the doctor's note. And they just didn't care. Oh. Okay.

So. Guys. Guys. Don't lie to your employers unless you got some badass something else to do

like you know the boys are like hey we're gonna go fishing and play basketball tomorrow you wanna come so then if it's something like

that's that cool you can't miss out then you can lie to your managers but otherwise just don't do it just my advice yeah yeah

the dude that lied at our place would lie about odd shit. Like, he would be like... He's sort of the guy at my place. I'm starting a brewing company with my dad. It's about as big as, like, a Budweiser factory. We got this building all laid out, and he's, like, talking about how he's gonna compete with Budweiser and Bud Light, and him with his, like, home-brewed beer that he made with his dad.

Imagine, like, the guys over at Budweiser in the border. Shit. Ah, shit. This backwoods chaping freak has figured out a way to brew the perfect beer with his father. And get this, he's 15. Ah! And one day he decided that he would just, he didn't feel like working, I guess. But this is during a Thursday night.

And Thursday nights were truck nights, which means we needed everyone we could to unload that truck and get out of there before midnight. Get all that inventory out, you know? Yeah. Just spoiler alert, we were there till 2am that night. This guy said he couldn't make it because he had to study super hard for an

exam. He had to study. Work doesn't give a shit if you're in high school and you got to study. They don't care. Yeah, I know. But, you know, they were like, okay, you have to study. This guy that I worked with, I can't say names, so it's so odd flipping back and forth between characters. Dude, make some names up.

Let's just call the liar. His name is, no, no, let's name him Ed. Ed, okay. Ed. So Ed lies a shit ton, and then Tonk is the other guy that I work with. He's actually from Samoa. He was like a 50-something-year-old man, and he had a ponytail that went back to mid-back. All right, this guy's cool.

And he had a porn mustache, too. Dude, this guy this guy is yeah he's banging chicks when he gets off work so tonk you know was just being nice because he's he's well respected around the food line because he's been there the longest because he's like one of the oldest there and he's you know he's usually really nice would you say he's uh epic he's fucking epic. Okay. So he's like, okay, Ed, I'll cover for you. I'll tell the grocery manager or whatever that you can't make it in. And I'll help. I'll work twice as much. And we end up calling other cashiers to come help us out with this truck because it's a big fucking truck.

it's so weird because while we're working and unloading stuff, he's uploading photos to Instagram of him at some football game of him just drinking and like having fun with his girlfriend and friends and shit. And it's like, dude, like, I don't care that he did that.

We care that it wasn't even a good game. It wasn't like a, ooh, it was like one of those games where it's like, oh, most people skip that shit. It's not like the big time. Yeah, it's not. It's like a little football game. It wasn't even for, it was for a school that he wore shirts to and said that he attended.

He didn't go to college at all, we found out. He didn't, he wasn't even in college. He dropped out after high school. So he'd been lying about going to college to the workplace for the longest time. What? Also acting like he was a student there and going to like see the games and like chatting up with people at the games and shit being like, yeah, I'm in this class because he tell us he was in like a certain class or whatever. And I think he knew some people there because he throw in teachers names, but he was not enrolled at this school at all. he'd throw in teachers' names, but he was not enrolled at this school at all.

And he went to the football games and ditched all of us on a big truck night to a school that he only supported because he was faking being a student there. That's so weird, man. He's such an odd fella. Like, when your life is that fake, that's weird. Ed was a weird kid.

If I said his real name, please use these. Ed. Ed. Ed. Ed! Hey, Ed. Ed. Ed! Hey, Ed boy. Ed boy. Yeah. Oh, I totally got what you were saying in the movie It. He says egg boy.

Yeah. He goes, egg boy. He says Ed boy. I just pictured him going, Ed boy. And it like pans back and it's Ed. Yeah. Dude, can we talk about the new Hey Arnold movie? That's so weird. I was about to talk about the same thing

because the trailer just came out today. Like, it's with Fox Searchlight, but Fox Searchlight is notoriously bad at, like, marketing their films. It's not going to be in theaters, unfortunately. No, well, I mean, it's going to be in a theater near us. I checked. Really? Yeah. It's going to be at the one with the reclining seats.

Oh, alright. Yeah. Dude, when I think of Hey Arnold, I mean, I just assume because I saw the poster there when I was there last time. Perfect. When I think of Hey Arnold, for some reason, I think of cheese nips and I can taste cheese nips. Really? Remember cheese nips? They don't make them anymore. As far as I know.

Wait a second. Were we talking about Hey Arnold? We were. No, this has to do with it. This has to do with it. See, that whole time I was running a stupid little bit because i thought you said the live action um arthur movie no there's an actual hey i know i know now like i'm making that connection but you and i were on completely different pages i said live action

arthur yeah just in my head i read it as that and so I went on this fake bit about seeing a trailer that only had a few hundred views and Fox Searchlight which is notoriously bad at marketing films but I'm legitimately excited for this Hey Arnold movie because I saw a scene or whatever they posted it looks good and the voices sound pretty the same

dude if Fox Searchlight put out a live action Arthur movie take my money man they use a real aardvark and they do that shitty like thing that commercials do to move the animals mouths where they just kind of warp it a little bit I'd rather just have a bunch of people dressed up in furry costumes that are modeled

after the Arthur characters that is true DW it does just like I need a fucking DW costume no it looks like um you know the old teenage mutant Turtles movie where it's all them in goofy little turtle suits. Why doesn't someone wear that at a furry convention? That's an animal.

That's a fursona. And like that, that's a really good like suit too. Like the eyes like blanked and shit. Dude, let's fucking go to a furry convention just up as like live action Arthur characters. But anyway. Can I be DW? Yeah, of course you can be DW. Okay, good.

I'll be Ned Flanders. Anyway, talking about. It's Family Guy, not Arthur. Sorry, sorry. Talking about cheese nips because they were Hey Arnold shaped cheese nips way back in the day.

And cheese nips. I remember that. I remember Arnold's fucking spiky shit. Yeah, do you remember? Because my cousin loved cheese nips and I watched Hey Arnold and then he got them.

I was like, what? Do you remember cheese nips? Yeah. Like they got rid of them because I guess cheese nips and i watched hey arnold and then he got him i was like what do you remember cheese nips yeah like they got rid of them because i guess cheese it's beat them out but yeah i liked them a lot better than cheese it's actually they were i think they're a lot better than cheese it's still to this day that was uh my cousin's catchphrase for the longest time was ah cheese nips such a classic middle school swear then he moved to cheese it's oh wow he was he's stepping up he was ahead of the time he he predicted that shit far beyond Such a classic middle school swear. And then he moved to Cheez-Its. Oh, wow. He was stepping up his voice. He was ahead of the time.

He predicted that shit far beyond when it actually went out of business. He knew that the crash of the Cheez-Nips market was on the way. There was a commercial where they were playing basketball. And they have a bunch of Cheez-Nips in their mouth. And then too many of them, they spit them out and it covers the screen or something. They're playing basketball we playing basketball do you remember that commercial though uh no he's like spitting cheese nips out you're talking about basketball and it just makes me think of that the movie that

i've seen probably over 10 times which movie is that like Mike like Mike dude I remember like Mike what the the only other movie I know the like antagonist from I think is this movie about rats and like he controlled rats or he was like friends with like a bunch of rats and shit because there was a poster of him like

looking like a little rat in like our movie through the Columbiana Grand you sure that's not stewart little what's that kid in stewart little no i'm talking about not the kid the antagonist of the film the guy the the guy in charge of like the or the what not orphanage i guess orphanage i don't know what it is i don't remember anything about like mike you don't i don't remember anything dude i watched that so many. I just know he wants to be like Mike. Like Mike was... We should review it.

If you can't remember shit about it, we should review it. That's an interesting movie. I don't remember anything about Like Mike. We're going to watch Like Mike and we're going to review it at some point. Let me tell you what I think it's about. It's about a little kid in an orphanage. I'm going to try to remember the best I can. Little white kid in an orphanage.

Nope. Okay. Little kid in an orphanage named Mike. Did I get that much right? Yeah. Okay. No, I actually don't think his name's Mike. No, it's not.

I don't think so. No, no, no. Little kid in an orphanage and there's a basketball player named Mike. And he wants to- But who, Mike? Who, Mike? What do you mean? What basketball player?

Is it LeBron James? What basketball player? Mike.bron james what basketball player mike mike what michael jackson what famous basketball player could it possibly be matt what big all-time basketball player could be a little black boy's hero michael jordan yes like mike yes it makes sense mike Mike, Michael Jordan. There's these pair of shoes that get stuck up on like this bully throws this kid's like pair of shoes that he found that were like Michael Jordan's old like sneakers and shit. The bully throws them on electrical wire. And during a storm as as the kid is trying to get them from the wire, lightning strikes and gives the shoes magical powers. And then when he wears the shoes,

he's like Mike. He's as good as Michael Jordan. Dude, are those the same shoes Hector Zeroni throws at the overpass that hit Stanley Yelnats in the head in the movie Holes? It's all in the same universe. It's the same fucking universe with magic basketball shoes, dude.

That's the connector with magic basketball shoes. Holes is legitimately good, though. Holes is legitimately good, though. Like Mike is. I know. He was good when I was a kid. I think, like, at least 50% of our podcast episodes, we've stated Holes is a legitimately good movie. Because I want people to know, like, when we're making fun of it, I love that movie.

To me, when I was a kid, it acted as both a horror movie, an adventure movie, and an action movie. Or, sorry, a drama. Snuff film, too, because Kissing Kate Bart... Barlow? Bart Simpson? Kissing Kate Bart Simpson? Kissing Kate Barlow actually dies in that movie, and that's a real death they show. So that was a little fucked up on 20th Century Fox's... Yeah, when the goofy

because the lizards when you watch it back you can tell that they're just like kind of lazily painted with art supplies or whatever I mean Ross has like one of the same types of lizards yeah they were called what were they called in the movie yellow spotted lizards

yeah that was it that was their thing the yellow spotted lizards what is that it's a yellow spotted lizards. Yeah, that was it. That was their thing. The yellow spotted lizards. What is that? It's a yellow spotted lizard. Wait a second. What's that? Sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds. Mr. Sir. He's always

about those sunflower seeds. You don't touch those fucking sunflower seeds. Dude, you know one there's one fucking rule. There's one rule. You do not fuck with Mr. Sir's sunflower seeds. You don there's one fucking rule there's one rule i do not fuck with mr sir sunflower seeds you don't touch those things just quit smoking why would you fuck with those seeds the man is fresh off of nicotine why would you touch his sunflower seeds i don't get it you gotta be a crazy man that's why they call him caveman he's a bungo bagongo caveman archaic stupid shit and he had the audacity to touch Mr. Sir's

sunflower seeds. And everybody knows if you touch Mr. Sir's sunflower seeds you're being driven right away in a pickup truck to go see the star of aliens. You get a first class ticket to Sigourney Weaver, baby. Autograph and everything. So maybe you should touch Mr. Sir's

sunflower seeds. If I could go back and watch the movie and I'm watching it and I'm like, I remember this when I was a kid. I'm going to watch it again. And I watch it. It's like, here Sigourney. I found this kid. And she actually played Sigourney Weaver.

This is after she retires from acting and she's working out at Camp Greenlake is that what it was called? Camp Greenlake yeah she's working out as the warden at Camp Greenlake where they build character you take a bad boy make him dig five feet is it the dirt in the shovel will give him a beat

you try to find something never found before but if not then you better dig some more. No, then you're going to have to dig some more. I don't know. I don't know this. You know, when you remember lyrics, you don't know the specific kind of like connecting little words. But you know the meter.

You know the main beats and the message behind it. Oh my God, man. The Shrek soundtrack and the whole soundtrack were big when I was a kid. I played the, I would like, ee, ee I was a kid I played the I would I would like on one end and I go on the other you know what I'm saying I'd have them on my fucking flip disc track

I'd be DJing that shit making hot fucking remixes oh man dude movie soundtracks were a lot bigger to buy back in the day because I remember because CDs like I mean like people bought movie soundtracks because I had the whole soundtrack I used to listen to that shit all the time I remember CDs like I mean like people bought movie soundtracks because I had the whole soundtrack

I used to listen that shit all the time I remember the the title song was all of them singing going dig it up oh dig it dig it up oh oh oh and then in the making of they show

zigzag going um you've got to go dig those holes but there's like there's no way he sung that it's none of them singing except for little Hector Zeroni. He has a nice voice. Well, they all sing their part. They showed him in the studio.

But when Zig Zag does it, I don't believe he's the one going, You've got to go. When you listen to that, that's like an old Southern man just like, You've got to go and dig them holes. But also they show this kid, and I'm like, no, it's not him. Everybody else is doing something. But I remember I had the Kangaroo Jack soundtrack. Now that's a good soundtrack. I did not have that.

But I love the soundtrack. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Isn't that like a Snoop Dogg song? It sounds just like a Snoop Dogg song. Then he goes, la, la, la, la, la, it's the motherfucking, yeah, that song.

If you were to take a small moment out of every single one of our previous podcasts and make a compilation, this exact podcast is that compilation. We haven't told a lot of these stories before. I know, but it's like, it just feels like a remix of a lot of stuff, the new stuff mixed with some stuff

that we might have kind of hinted to or said in the past. Yeah. I'm never sure of what stories I've told and people remember. I gotta remember, we have like over 400 videos. Oh man. So I mean I always like. Who's gonna remember like every single fucking thing. There's someone out there.

You know what the thing is? You know what I like about this podcast? No. Alright guys, well thanks for listening. What I like about doing this podcast is it makes me remember things frequently that I don't normally remember because it just brings up random stories

so it kind of paints a picture of my life like little things I've forgotten so throughout a year we record like 40 to 50 episodes and it makes me remember all these things I wouldn't normally remember on a daily basis like oh yeah that happened because like my mind's searching for shit yeah exactly you uh you believe in giants i used to like beanstalk giants i used to believe in them specifically beanstalk giants what's it what's a beanstalk how do you define a beanstalk giant

a giant that lives on a beanstalk what else have you ever seen a fucking massive beanstalk that extends into the heavens? No, but I also did, like, I lived in South Carolina for a lot, like, I didn't travel that much. There could be, like, a bunch of beanstalks places. Like, they're not popular in South Carolina, just like tornadoes aren't popular in South Carolina. Western Kansas, dude.

Beanstalks towering into the heavens. Rumor says at the top, there are giants. With their golden eggs giants don't have fucking golden eggs that's what jack has to fucking steal is that what he steals yeah he steals a golden egg i think why does the giant have a golden egg because it's a giant chicken what purpose comes from a golden egg because they because the giants eat them but to humans that's valuable the giants just eat it like a regular egg but why doesn't the giant

that's a lot of gold why doesn't the giant sell the gold because it's concept of gold isn't of that like giants have a different currency than humans obviously so gold doesn't mean shit it's just a fucking rock like why would they care but to a human that's fucking gold but to a shit it's just a fucking rock like why would they care but to a human that's

fucking gold but to a giant it's just fucking an eggshell it's just an eggshell dude what if there's an alien race and and like one of the most valuable things of them is just something that we throw away every day like like eggshells it's like eggshells are the most the rarest currency among among this race well it's like if an if an exact earth was created habitat everything would kind of be the same except different kind of people it wouldn't be the exact same people because then it would ruin this kind of hypothetical i guess yeah there's another earth the exact kind of same way and i trade i'd where where did i start this trying to remember what i need what i where i'm trying to go with this? What were you talking to phone a friend?

What were you talking about? We're talking about gold and aliens and eggshells. Yeah. Like what would their currency be on the new planet? Like, do you think it would still be gold and silver at first? Yeah. I think if it's like,

if it's the same planet, yeah. Cause I think people would discover that and they like it cause it's shiny and you can make jewelry out of it and it conducts electricity. Okay. I mean, back then that wouldn't matter, but. Because like in the beginning we just bartered, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And people traded shells and stones and spices. Then spices and then they came up with coins and stuff. And man, I actually really like, because I collect coins. I don't have my collection here with me in California,ia but i collect coins and i have a big coin collection i collect money too so i really like the different designs of money and i remember a long time ago i tried to design uh i tried to design my own money just for just for fun i put neil armstrong on it i didn't know who to put on it so i just put neil armstrong like him in the suit him in the super suit yeah it was him in the suit him in the super suit

yeah I made like futuristic the super suit sponsored by Campbell's Soup dude imagine if like where's my super suit imagine if fucking like Campbell's sponsors SpaceX so for the first like manned mission to Mars

on the front of their like high tech space suits just the Campbell's Soup logo wait do you think I said soup when I said special suit no I said you said super suit oh I thought you see now I thought you thought I said super soup

because where did soup come from the joke was you said super suit so I said what does that have to do with soup super the word super. I'm saying what if it meant super like as in soup? And then Campbell's sponsors SpaceX. So then they have Campbell's logos on all the spacesuits.

And it's on the side of the rocket ship. Chef Boyardee gets NASA. They're trying to like. Competing with each other. Like the moment we touch down our first footsteps on mars it's like televised worldwide and just in the background there's a massive product placement for campbell's soup we stick it we we drive a metal rod through just a can of lasagna and it starts kind of spilling out a little and seeping out and then we just stick it in the moon

then it starts kind of like wait the oh on the moon no it wouldn't float on the moon that would be cool though if you dumped out ravioli on the moon how would it look pretty fucking gross in slow motion to the ground yeah it would fall pretty slow I think ravioli on the moon

is something that's on my bucket list I'd like to eat chef boyardee ravioli on the surface of something that's on my bucket list. I'd like to eat Chef Boyardee ravioli on the surface of the moon. I do have to say, being on the surface of the moon would be absolutely terrifying. Yes, it's dark and creepy. Like, it's so creepy.

You know how creepy it was in the middle of the Arizona desert? And we know there's life around us. We know there's a town probably just a mile out or two miles out. We know there's people at this guard zone. Imagine on the moon, just fucking nothing. Would that make you feel more safe? No, I think just- Knowing that there's nothing?

I think the isolation would be scary. I think the isolation would be maddening. You're not even on the same- I think it'd be scary just knowing because I'm not on Earth. I'm not near any other people besides if I have a crew. There is no one here. There is no help here. I am on my own on the surface of this planet

that's barely been explored. Planet. It's a moon. Well, this satellite that's barely been explored. Satellite. That's what you call things in space. Really? You just call them satellites?

Yeah. Do whatever you want, linguists. But I imagine the dark side of the moon, the view of space has got to be so damn beautiful. It's not even funny. Because think about it. You're not seeing sunlight. You can see Earth from the moon the view of space has got to be so damn beautiful it's not even funny because think about it you're not seeing sunlight you can see earth from the moon right? yeah but not from the dark side

isn't it big? yeah the earth is pretty big when you're at the moon but the dark side of the moon you can't see earth and you can't see the sun so think about people correct me if I'm wrong there's no atmosphere so there's nothing blocking space you're looking straight into space how beautiful that's got to be you can see every single star just black into space. How beautiful that's got to be. You can see every single star.

Just black, just darkness. See galaxies, stars. It's got to be crazy. Well, you ready to go over to Ryan's hit new series called Ryan Needs Help? Yeah, of course. Ryan Asks for Help. Ryan, what are you going to ask for help this time? What is it?

Mario and Rabbids Kingdom Battle or Battle Kingdom. I don't know what it's called. Mario and Rabbids Battle Kingdom. Is that what it's Mario plus Rabbids

Battle Kingdom. Okay. I'm on level 3-1. Now, I'm not stuck there. I just, that's how far I am into the game right now.

And I'm just trying to get a feel because I've never played a game like this before so I'm trying to understand like which tactics I should go for so if you have any tips to help me out like things that I should remember when I'm going up against certain enemies or when certain people are on the field if it's important to keep switching out teammates or try to build up like a super team just like a constant three characters i always use or should i beef up all the characters and switch them out and therefore i don't know i i just want to know like some tips to help me out in the future because as i said i'm not that good i'm struggling on some levels and i feel like um i don't know i feel like it would

be fun to get better at a certain type of game that i'm not used to playing at like a certain genre of gaming this This question is for rabid strategists. If you could help me out, thank you. Cool, man. I got a question for the listeners. Matt asks a question. Matt asks

what is your favorite memory of your old man? Not your dad or anyone, just an old man that you happened to. No, no, no, your dad, your old man. And you guys got all the way until next week to submit these answers. Submit them in the comments. You know, give Ryan some strategies on his Rabbids Mario game.

And I just want to know your favorite moment with your pops. Gotta have my pops. I really liked fishing with my dad. Like, looking at it then, I probably wasn't as excited. But looking back, I'm glad that, like, we had those moments of like going out and camping and like oh dude roasting marshmallows and shit same like and like fishing but not catching anything we probably catch a really like usually we'd catch really shitty fish like crappy that's the fun in it because like you know you and dad are together and you're like maybe we will yeah we'll catch it together like my dad

always took me hiking and camping and stuff. And I remember like at the time I wasn't really into hiking or camping and it wasn't my favorite thing to do because I wasn't in physical stuff. Like looking back, I'm really glad that I got to have those memories and like that time with my dad. Yeah. It was really nice. I hope, like I wonder how my dad looks back at that stuff or if, or if he does, because

for me that was, that was a huge chunk of my life compared to how long I've lived. How long I've been in my dad looks back at that stuff or if or if he does because for me that was that was a huge chunk of my life compared to how long i've lived how long i've been in my dad's life my dad went through like our parents went through several different stages of their lives like they're completely different along yeah like they're a completely different person kind of like mentally probably from when they had you oh yeah like like they change your whole life like i feel like in the past like definitely three two years or so i've i've i feel a change in myself not that oh outward but like i feel like i think differently and i see things differently type of thing i think i'm i think we've both changed a lot in the last two years. Just go through stages type of thing. Like, I'll have, like, a phase that might last a few months or a year or so.

God, don't remind me of the fucking emo phase, dude. I never had an emo phase. Go with it. Yeah, I remember emo phases. Your emo phase. My emo phase, specifically. I had a... I used to put a bucket on my head then I used to cut around

cut around the circumference of it so I could get that perfect swoosh you know what I'm saying like I tilt the bucket slightly to the to the left and I'd cut around it and get that perfect emo swoosh imagine a bowl cut but the bowl is like at an angle

has anyone ever pulled that off i want to see someone pull that off perfectly that would look so like geometrically interesting it wouldn't look right because the the bowl cut works because it like it all comes from the center so if it's like off then it would look mentioned asian dudes could do it because they already like i when i was at universal like i just saw like a butt like a group of uh asian bros and they all had like this bullish cut like they have the cut of a white seven-year-old essentially like it'll they'll fade it and then it'll just be like a essentially yeah i know what you're talking about then like essentially a bowl cut over that type of thing.

There's some hypebeasts that have that haircut. Yeah. That's coming back. Like the Supreme Bros, you know what I mean? Dude, yeah. Have you noticed that, like, the bowl cut's kind of coming back? Have you noticed that? Well, with that group specifically, with those, with those things.

Have you noticed, like, it's not the type of bowl cut that used to be big. It's not the type where it's big. It's not like coconut head. It's up high. It's a little above the eyebrows. And then the back is kind of shaved. The back and sides are kind of faded. It's faded. It's not shaved all the way. But the rest is a bowl cut.

It's like a mini bowl cut combined with a shave. And if you're listening and you have that hairstyle, more power to you. I can pull off a fedora. You've seen me. You actually, Ryan can wear a fedora. It looks goofy as hell. Yeah.

But it fits. Not in a cool way. Not in a cool way. The difference between, it's a different type of persona. Yeah, it doesn't look cool, but it's like, oh, but it fits. You can see the type of person I would be if I legitimately wore that.

Oh yeah, he wears a fedora. If I wear a fedora, it's just my head shape. Even if I wore it unironically, not even trying to be cool, in my mind I think I'm cool, but everyone's making fun of me, it just doesn't look good. I think the beret is more your style. A beret? I must start wearing a beret every day.

I feel like I could see you with a beret and I could see you legitimately wearing that. Okay, so if I could, dude, I'm going to start wearing a beret every day. I feel like I could see you with a beret and like I could see you legitimately wearing that. Okay. So if I did, let's just say maybe I wanted to experiment around to start wearing a beret every day. Would you make fun of me? No. Would you think I look goofy? I'd give you a sweet little smile every morning.

I'm going to start wearing a beret then. I'm going to start wearing a beret and a turtleneck. How about I look with a beret and a turtleneck? Bring my glasses back out out start wearing my glasses again wear like some jeans with the cuffs on the end kind of folded up how about this is my look for this fall with some Timbs

just to throw people off oh yeah just to fucking throw everyone off that's an interesting fashion choice it would be interesting you'd see nothing like it before i i know but i wonder if if that could actually get girls because it's it's unique do you think there's some type of neck beardy-esque dude out there who like wears the fedora wears like a like a polo or a button-up t-shirt with like jeans baggy dad jeans but also has tim's like where's tim's

does that person's exist like does oh yeah dude can that can that mathematic mathematically and scientifically in our universe make sense for a person to have the mindset of someone who would wear a fedora you know those type of people that click and the person who thinks like Tim's fashion is really cool and keeps up to date with that stuff. I'm sure there's some overlap out there. Can that mix? Does that mix? And if it does, send

us pictures because I want to know. Or if you wear a fedora frequently and you also own a pair of Tim's, I'd like to see that. Yeah, just send us pictures of you wearing a fedora and some Tim's. I got an unsolved mystery, man. We're going to ruin Tims. We can single-handedly ruin Tims by making that a trend. Oh, dude, New York already ruined Tims.

I got a—dude, I have a mystery regarding Tims. What? I went over to Ross' house last weekend. Did he have Tims? Well, I come in, and there was just like a pair of Tims by the door. I don't know who the fuck, who they belong to. Like, Holly doesn't wear Tim's. Ross doesn't wear Tim's. Where'd these Tim's come from? The guy who wears

flip-flops every day isn't gonna judge anyone for their figure. Man, I bet it was fun. I remember Ross just had a good time. I don't know, I just like, I look at people that are passing by and I can instantly tell like they put effort into their outfit I just don't have that in me like

you know you have that oh I love dude I love I love clothes you like looking nice and like getting your hair all nice and big I'm about to go clothes shop and give all my old clothes to Goodwill and get some new clothes I don't know what it is like sometimes like if it's a special occasion and it's like oh I want to look

nice then I'll look nice. But like I'm just – I just don't have that in me. Because Daniel had the same thing. Like he was into fashion and did that. So like – I love fashion. Maybe you just – you know what it is? Maybe you haven't found clothes that you like enough or you feel comfortable enough in.

Maybe it's just because I'm self-conscious about my weight and I don't think I look good in anything, so I'm like, what's the point of looking good? That might be it, probably. You should get over that, because looking good's fun. Get some shirts you like. Yeah, but I don't think I look good because of my pudgy belly and my man titties.

They're not even noticeable, though. Yeah, they are. Hey, just wearing a regular shirt isn't going to change the way that looks. I mean, I am down over 20 pounds now. We have a round of virtual applause for Ryan. He has been losing weight. I need that. It's working out.

Thank you so much. It's a virtual round of applause, dude. Seriously, good on you, though. That's fucking awesome. Yay. That you've been actually keeping on that. But I still need to lose, like, 20 more pounds to be like at like healthy or average or whatever i want to wait to be healthy i'm trying to hit 185 i'm gonna try to hit 185

i wish i could hit 150 yeah so i wish i could hit 145 but like you have a set body type that's just the way your body is right now this what me this is because of my decisions these are my these when you look at me all of this these are the choices i've made throughout my life with you that's just who you are i can eat whatever i want and it just doesn't go anywhere yeah you you just be who you are matt but you have to get used to yourself i have to try to change myself you can make yourself better i can't i'm stuck with this shitty skeleton well it's because it's because when you try to eat more you just you don't you don't have you don't have the appetite i don't dude i take two bites you cannot you can't make

yourself eat i mean of course i can't say from experience but it seems to me that making yourself eat more for people like me it's just as hard as dieting for people trying to lose no it's harder because like you're in a you're in a worse boat than i am because all i have to do is change my dietary status the feeling of being full the feeling of being full and nauseous from too much food and still forcing yourself to eat, that's a shitty feeling. That sucks. It's a better feeling for me to not eat

as much and not be as full or throughout the day. You have to make yourself miserable. I'll get super hungry some days or some nights, but then I'll just pop some gum in and then I'll start chewing and then my mind will be like, oh, you're chewing something. Oh, does that work?

I never thought of that. For me, like I think it's just the habit to get my mind off it. It might not work like that. But for me, it works just because I think like I start chewing gum and then I start thinking and then I'll probably like go listen to music or play something. Yeah, that's smart, man. I never thought of that. I should try using gum to stop cigarettes, too. Oh, yeah.

We got some. We got some nicotine gum. Yeah. Got some. I hate nicotine gum. Yeah, it's gross. It is. It burns your... It makes your throat and tongue tingle. I've never had chewing tobacco, but that's just what I feel like chewing tobacco would make my mouth feel like.

Yeah, I imagine. Chewing tobacco's fucking gross. Like buzzy and... It's gross, dude. It tastes like shit. I did it once. It's disgusting. I mean, you spit that thick brown shit. I have gotten better with smoking. Yeah? No.

No? Maybe. Who knows? No, you haven't. I just know, like, the thing that sucks is I just know the moment I stop quitting, like, I'm going to feel like I've entered a new stage in my life where things are going to be better because instead of, like, because I feel like now, like, I'm just waiting to have my next cigarette. Like, it's like, I'm going to have my next cigarette, then I'm going to be better because instead of like do because i feel like now like i'm just waiting to have my next cigarette like it's like there's i'm gonna have my next cigarette

then i'm gonna do something and then i'm gonna have another cigarette and then i'm gonna do something in the past time till i want my next cigarette and i feel like when i take that out of it i'm gonna need to find more stuff to entertain myself for other things to do throughout the day yeah 100 so it would kind of change my habits a bit i don't know i just it's like right now like i was in I was in the whole stage of like I'm gonna quit you were doing really good too yeah we got vapes yeah we did let's get back into vapes we should we have

the vapes just fill them back up it's cause I think you like the habit of going outside I do I like just going outside and that's what made you start smoking again and listening to music and watching videos yeah but you can do all that without smoking a cigarette but I like going outside yeah but you can still go outside but I also like smoking cigarettes. Find something else to do outside.

Weed. Go outside and... Some crack? Heroin? Maybe? Cigar. Smoke cigars. Ugh.

I hate the way I smell after smoking a cigar. I love cigars. I couldn't imagine, like... Cigars smell great. Being with a friend who constantly smokes cigars. Oh, people that constantly smoke cigars? I'm not... Like, Brent will have one every now and then.

He's got the little tiny ones, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes he has a big one. Sometimes he'll treat himself to a big old cigar. He's such a Hollywood man. I love Brent smoking cigars. I love him so much. I'd love to smoke a cigar with Brent sometime.

Yeah. I like smoking cigars, just not frequently. Well, when we went to oh i think i went to ohio to film the wendy's thing for them yeah uh we went out in the town it was just uh aaron brent and i walking around chatting and just throwing the shit of course of course brent even to this day he still does it but of course we were walking around Ohio and he's fucking just, um, Pokemon go. Yeah. Pokemon go.

He still plays Pokemon go. Yep. To this day. I still see him playing Pokemon go. I'm like, Brent, how are you still playing that game? He loves it. He loves it. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I can't take it away from him. There's no way. Like I, like I can judge him from my perspective, but honestly, like if he's having fun with it, if it's bringing him happiness like I wish I could garner that much fun out of a lot of open world like games where I can do anything I want I end up getting

bored of those games if Brent can keep himself entertained with Pokemon Go god damn I'm jealous of that sometimes oh I'm so jealous of it like it's cause Brent didn't grow up with this stuff you know he grew up in a different generation so this is like mind blowing to him

the way I just said that makes it sound like I'm like Brent's a fucking old man he doesn't understand technology or the ways of the kids these days that's basically what that sounded like well I was we were walking around Columbus and then we went to this place you know I bought a pack of cigarettes and like he smoked a cigar

I was smoking a cigarette and we were just out there chatting there's something i'm sorry to say this this is just from my perspective currently it's the wrong perspective i i here's the thing i every time i smoke and after i smoke i'm like why do i fucking do this like i don't like that i do well that's good but there's a certain social aspect that's really nice like just kind of having one while smoking with someone it's like oh yeah i mean that's nice aspect that's really nice. Like just kind of having one while smoking with someone. It's like. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's nice.

But it's only nice right now because I like smoking. Like I could just as easily be like having a beer, just like having a soda or drinking some water or whatever while my friend smokes a cigarette and just having a conversation with them. No, there is something very social about smoking a cigarette. I totally get what you're saying and and i think most people at some point in their life will smoke socially now smoking that doesn't mean like they're gonna start smoking as a habit but i mean like you're at a bar with friends or you're at a party or something someone a couple people light up a cigarette maybe you'll have one too and it it's like a once every three months or once a year occasion. Like a lot of people do that. Then you'll not contact that person for like two years

and then they'll be like, hey dude, what's up? And then you'll meet them again and then they'll have their own pack of cigarettes. Yeah, I mean, that is how addiction starts. And the best way to quit smoking is to never start. I did. A little word of wisdom for everyone that hasn't smoked yet.

Word of wisdom is don't smoke. Seriously, guys, thank you for the support that you've been giving us lately. I know we've been struck with our channel and all. Oh, my God. Yeah, we didn't even talk about that. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to get too much into it. It's just I'd rather not. I'm kind of like on a good – I'm in a good mood right now.

Yeah, I am. Well, maybe we'll talk about it at a later date. We'll talk about it at episode 63 because then we'll have more info of videos that might have come back. Just how the system's working out right now for us. We'll have an update in a week. So we'd have had about almost a month of dealing with this situation. Yeah. To kind of get the full experience and what's going on.

Patreon's on the table. And who knows? By now we might have announced that. And if not, then it might be coming soon. One of the things we were thinking of making like a super mega Snapchat. So we'd like do like behind the scenes of videos and just like every now and then like day to day life type shit. So like people could follow Snapchat or whatever. Yeah, we'd have a private Snapchat as part of our Patreon.

So you could, you know, just follow. We'd post a bunch of behind the. So for shooting a sketch or something, you'll see that real quick. And we'll just post pretty much every day. Just random shit. We've been putting so much work into YouTube and if YouTube's not going to be as beneficial

anymore, we're still going to put just as much work into YouTube but we also need to think of other things. And Patreon's one of those. I want to get working on other outside projects. I want this to push us, honestly, to do other stuff that we've been promising. I actually do want to start movie reviews. I want to build more stuff with the brand that we have and not just make it a YouTube-centric thing.

I want to go outside of YouTube and venture out because YouTube, you know, everybody knew it. It wasn't going to last forever. And it's kind of on its last leg. So we need to kind of be careful and make sure that we can still deliver content to people that want it. Yeah. And I can say that as someone who's been on YouTube, someone that's been uploading to

YouTube and been an active user of YouTube since 2007 I could say this is definitely I think this is the last leg of YouTube right now as a platform where creators can be whatever they want and actually make a living off of it oh yeah of course things could change but it's not looking like it will it's it's looking

like 99% that you know this this is it the the golden days of YouTube are over I do have to say I think they're definitely over but regardless of whatever happens to YouTube we will still be bringing

you content as super mega we'll still be making these podcasts we'll still be making sketches and music videos I might have already done it and you might have already done it too and we might have already done it as a channel but but Twitch streams coming like, you know, Matt doing his own streams. I'm going to be doing my own streams hopefully. And of course, Super Mega streams,

just like him and I just, we could just play whatever game we want and it'd be live and uncut. We'll call it Super Mega live and uncut. Yeah, guys, but that's about all we got for this one. Bit of a longer podcast. Yeah, but thank you guys for listening, at least for those who made it this far.

And the one last request I have in me is for Matt, and that is, Matt, could you just put your shirt back on? Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll put my shirt on right now. Awesome. Thank you. All right right see you guys come again please come again to this podcast again i love this i fucking love this podcast please come back to this podcast next week and listen to the next episode Outro Music