supermegashow - EP 64 - Our First Quest (w/ Ross O'Donovan)

Episode Date: October 21, 2017

Ryan and Matt roll the dice as Ross shows them the ways of Dungeons and Dragons...and other stuff. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guys, this podcast is the same number as a pack of crayons with a lot of colors. 64? 64. 64 crayons. Like 64 crayons. And that's a lot of colors in one pack of crayons, you know? There's like an 8-pack, a 24-pack. And with those, you can mix and match and get a lot of different colors out of it. I love that

observation. Are you trying to say that they should sell certain colors separately because you believe in segregation? That's not, that's not, how would you even, how would you get that at all from what I was saying? Ross O'Donovan is here, by the way. Yeah, look at this racist asshole. I'm not, I was literally saying this is episode 64 of the podcast and 64, there's 64

crayons in a pack. Yeah. I mean. I'm not racist. i don't know how you i mean by judging by how defensive you got i gotta stop getting so defensive anyway hi welcome to the super mecha cast this is your host once again uh ross the true man of super okay ross is the true man of super mega the true man that's what he's gonna go by from now on the true man of super mega yeah we got we got ross here um yeah what up we're recording a late night podcast uh just chilling uh on the way here ross wanted some kfc but yeah i heard it was fucking closed because they close at 10 and i closed at 10 yeah it's bullshit right i told you matt i told you i

thought i said they might close early are you sure we should get his hopes up for some kfc and i said no of course because they should be open to like midnight or something that's what i said it's kfc it's not mcdonald's but kfc is so popular that i thought that maybe it would be open until midnight i just don't like whenever someone says kfc i don't picture them going to a late night drive-thru and picking up some kfc like a bucket of chicken we got in and out instead which is you know i didn't get into that you know what you're getting into when you get in and out instead which is you know i didn't get in you know what you're getting into when you get in and out you go in you come out you got food you're done it's it's whatever it's it i'm not saying it's bad it's actually pretty good considering like all the shitty options i had in and out seems like a place where it it seems like it existed in a movie beforehand

and then it got famous because of that and they're like well it's like yeah it's like well we have to make something out of this now and so it's just marginal burgers and marginal stuff most of the time from there but just because the name is big okay so on previous podcasts ron and i have discussed our tastes on in and out and how it is not the best burger like people claim yeah people are nuts about it i don't think it is like i'm not saying it's horrible. I might be wrong on this, but if I'm to understand, as a foreigner living in the United States,

there is a rivalry between the East Coast and Shake Shack and the West Coast in In-N-Out. Shake Shack is infinitely better. Shake Shack? I know I am an LA native now, but as someone who is an immigrant, I can say without a doubt that Shake Shack is 100% better. And you know what's funny?

Yeah, but it's not as cheap as In-N-Out, but that's why people get In-N-Out, because it's so cheap. McDonald's is cheap. Someone got mad at me because I said that Funkos look ugly and that I would prefer to have a Nedroid. Not Nedroid, that's a comic. The fucking anime ones. Ninjago. No, not Nedroid, that's a comic, the Nendroid, the fucking anime ones. Ninjago. No, no, Ninjago. The more poseable ones, like the Figma small...

Knickknacks? Ned, how the fuck do you pronounce it? You keep saying Ned. What, Ned what? It's like a... Nintendo. What are you talking about? There's these fucking toys that look the same proportions as fucking Funko toys,

but they look good, and they've got articulation and shit, and they're really cool, and they come with separate parts. I've got some on my desk over there if you want to go look at them. I'll show you later. They're really great. What characters do you have? I have Saitama from One Punch Man. Do you have anyone that I'd know? Have you not watched One Punch Man?

He hasn't seen One Punch Man. What the fuck, man? I'm sorry. Or Popsicle. Ross, I feel like you just have to start introducing me to these, because no way am I going to watch it on my own time. Okay, here's some good animu to watch. What kind of animu do you...

What do you like? Tell me, tell me what... He's only seen one. Okay, no, I know, I know. What is the one he saw? Full Metal Alchemist. Did you like it? Yeah.

Okay, what, did you, did you ever see Cowboy Bebop? No, but my cousin loves it. Okay, so tell me what kind of, what kind of films do you like? Films? Yeah. I don't know. It's hard to see. Yeah, cars.

Okay. Do you like... I like good movies. What kind of pop culture? Entertaining movies. Do you like superheroes? Do you like... It's like good popcorn movies, but I wouldn't say I'd go...

I'd never watch a superhero movie more than once. Do you like emotionally heavy stuff? I like that yeah okay I could say for a fact Ryan would like One Punch Man if you watched it my thing is I'm afraid to watch One Punch Man right now because I feel like to to get the humor on a like a because I feel like it's an anime made for anime fans I should watch other anime like anime that actually commits those sins yeah I mean first so I can kind of get into it like get into the culture get into the stereotypes of anime but I think you can watch it without watching other anime

Holly liked it Holly never watched anime before yeah she was one of the first anime that Little Witch Academia and well that ruined anime My Hero Academia they're the three shows that Holly really really enjoyed. Okay.

And this is coming from someone who, you know, she grew up in a very Disney family, did not watch anime, thought anime was for like those awkward kids that drew like DeviantArt stuff. Ross, that's like 90% of our listeners. She married one. You had stuff on DeviantArt? Do you still have stuff on DeviantArt?

I don't know. I mean, i did have a deviantart account but it was just mostly like trash like if you go look at it i i think there was like some old silly drawing i did of some of aaron's characters way back when um have you ever been embarrassed about something you've done online like oh yeah of course or like fans totally totally i mean could you like recall maybe one what's something you might be embarrassed about? I got plenty. Like a fandom that you were very open about being a part of that now you look back and you're like, probably shouldn't have been so adamant about.

Okay, yeah, I got one. I got one. So early Game Grumps, I had just started watching Doctor Who and I love Doctor Who. And I never looked into how crazy the fan base was. And I just fucking enjoyed it. I still think it's great. I haven't watched it in years now. I just when I finally met the fanbase

I was just like, oh god these people suck. Sorry. You know what Ryan did? Some really mean people I met. What did I do? One day on Twitter Ryan just said, hey go tweet at Matt H. Watson your favorite Doctor Who memes. Oh yeah! That was when we had was this before we started On Twitter, Ryan just said, hey, go tweet at Matt H. Watson your favorite Doctor Who memes. Oh, yeah. That was when, like, we had, this was, was this before we started Super Mega?

Oh, yeah. This was much before we started Super Mega. I just was like, go tweet them. And, like, people would send them their, like, legitimate, like, this makes me laugh. I think, like, 85. No, Ross, do not do that right now. Let's see some funny memes. Ross, for the love of God, do not do that right now.

Please. But we have to pick a different thing than Doctor Who, Ross. What should it be? Steven Universe. No! Send your favorite Steven Universe memes to Fat Agent 1. I got a Doctor Who meme as recently as like a couple months ago still. Wait, really? You still get

Doctor Who memes from that shit? Yes, like a couple months ago I got one. And I was like, why am I getting this? Oh, okay, that's why. Send your favorite Doctor Who memes. You know what we do to Barry? Sometimes we'll just be like, hey guys, go tweet your favorite picture of sulfur at Barry. Please send your favorite Steven Universe memes to...

Thanks. Okay, if it's not Steven Universe, then what do you want? I don't want any tweets. Okay, well, too late. Then it's already sent. I just got a notification on my phone. I haven't seen Steven Universe. Your favorite Steven Universe memes to Matt Watson. Ross, you piece of shit.

You have like 440,000 followers. That has a large reach. When Ryan did it, he had like 50,000. You have like um you have more followers than that so oh god it's getting likes and retweets

let me go check my notifications oh Ryan McGee liked the tweet I did hold on wait are you filtering out fans Matt? do you not like the fans? No, I just have to change my notifications. When the audio wasn't on, Matt said that he thought Super Mega fans were terrible.

I did not say that. And then I told him that he's not the Matt of Super Mega, and then I took his job. It was a meme for the longest time, like a channel meme of like, Matt hates the fans. Yeah? I don't hate the fans. I love the fans. It was that, yes, yes, yes yes yes daddy like and splatoon why do you always make it singular

I don't know because people go god damn it yes yes yes daddy like you just keep it that way I think I like that better yes yes yes daddy like it sounds like some like it just sounds like some shithead drunk piece of shit

yes yes yes daddy like I like to think just sounds like some shithead drunk piece of shit. Yes, yes, yes. Daddy like. I like to think of it as some 60-year-old Indian man that watches. What? Daddy like. He doesn't quite grasp the grammar. He doesn't understand what it kind of is referencing to. Yes, yes, yes.

Daddy like. No one sent any memes? Oh, wait, actually. Yeah, I haven't gotten any. But it's not. I hope they don't reply here. If someone does reply here. said oh damn where my hot spicy steven universe memes when i need them no look i'm refreshing my mentions i have nothing no one has sent me a meme so far ross

you know what my favorite tweet of all time has been what it's uh it's october but in all capital letters oh are we going down my tweets now? Criticizing them? Oh yeah, let's look at this idiot's tweet. Are you guys really going to go to my fucking tweets? Live on this podcast? What a loser. I'm just kidding, you're great.

He's best friends with Skrillex. When did I say I'm best friends with Skrillex? He said, anyways, here's a picture of me and my best friend Skrillex. I didn't say best friend Skrillex. Looking really cool. I didn't say that. I said... Back in 2006, I asked my mom on RuneScape to be my girlfriend.

You're making shit up now. No, and honestly, I still feel the pain. Hold on. On that topic, I actually did get my mom... My mom is a good mom. I got her to play RuneScape with me when I was younger. I got her into it for a little bit. I got my mom to play a game that you guys probably don't remember because I'm too old.

Laid on me. Earth Special Forces. Do you remember that? No, of course not. Nope. All right. Earth Special Forces. Let's just explain what that is because you guys probably don't know what it is.

It is a Half-Life 1 mod that turns Half-Life 1 into Dragon Ball Z. Really? I set up a LAN in my house and then I realized I didn't have anyone to play with me. So I asked my mom if she'd just sit on the other computer and just let me kill her. I have one of those things where I haven't thought about it since that actual time frame, probably like a decade ago or more. I just remember I got my dad into playing a certain aspect of the Rocket Power PlayStation

2 game. Wow. He became obsessed with it. Like, I'd come home and he'd be playing it. It was like this mini game on the pier where it's like you're shooting something. I can't remember exactly what the mini game was. I wish I could remember it.

All I remember, it was some mini game, like carnival-esque mini game on a pier or something like that. And he was just obsessed with it. I would come home, he'd be playing it. I'd be like, I'd just be playing Rocket Power. He's like, hey, where's that spot? I'm like, oh, it's on the pier.

Do you mind if I play a little bit? Don't you have some homework to do? I'm like, okay, dad. Yeah, I'll go do my homework as you play Rocket Power. You're still playing this? Yeah. Dad, did you go to work today? No.

My dad used to play us. What's that game? Something feed, not centipede or silfeed. It's like s-p-h-i-l i don't know it's it's this game where you use one of the atari sticks yeah atari sticks remember those uh top down ship games where like there'd be boss like big boss robotic helicopters or something and they not just shoot oh it was on the it was on the playstation 2 as well it's a specific game it has like this holographic cover something feed I really can't remember the name of this shit

and when you're shooting the parts like they blink white and then they fall off it's a genre of video game my dad was super into those they're really hard I was into them but it was too hard for me those are the only two video games that I remember my dad being into Well, just that one specific one. Yeah, and I was into them, but it was too hard for me. But, yeah.

Those are the only two video games that I remember my dad being into. I don't think I ever played... Did I ever play video games with my parents? I played Guitar Hero. My dad saw my thing. My parents couldn't play Guitar Hero. I think my stepmom tried it once. She's like, just...

How do you... She just watched... I'd play on Medium. She looked at me as if I were playing on expert, and I was playing on medium. Dude, you can impress your parents playing video games so easy. I know. It's like, mom, watch this. What is it about?

When I play a song on easy. I don't know. I think some things just don't resonate with that age group. For instance, I was playing WoW, and WoW would just come out. And Ross's parents went, wow. Yeah. like wow would just come out like i was fucking parents went wow yeah no but my dad walked in and he's like he just sees me i'm like a tauren walking like a bull man and i'm like walking through like the meadows and and he just like and i'm obviously it's like a ridiculous amount

of walking to get where i needed to go but like i'm just so enthralled by how beautiful this is at the time and like how big and open it is and how anything could happen i meet anyone just felt like this rush and i'm like playing it my dad just walks in and he just like looks he's like what's that i'm like oh it's world of warcraft he goes that's world of warcraft i'm like yeah and he's like it's like a lot of walking and he just walks out i'm like i just felt bad i just didn't want to play anymore you're right i just know i had that realization of like oh my god i am wasting a lot of time just walking okay so i've i couldn't get into world of warcraft one of my friends not even a friend he was actually he was actually a jerk but he tried to get me into a world of warcraft and he

put me in as in like a dark elf or whatever and i played the first few stages but like i never bought it myself a blood elf whatever or was it was were you purple yeah oh then you were a night elf night elf yeah that whatever I'm sorry Ross see over there just just don't fuck it up again but um I just couldn't get into it and

also it was like a lot of money to drop down I remember I was like my parents will never pay for this oh yeah oh yeah it was I mean at that time I was like kind of making money like I wasn't this is before I was making I was like, my parents will never pay for this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was, I mean, at that time, I was like kind of making money. Like I wasn't. This was before I was making, I was even allowed to make money. It's not. Could you still get it?

Could I still get into it today if I wanted to? Or is it just, it's just too late? It's too late. Why is that? Because it's just, it's not what it was. And it's like. It's a different game now pretty much. It's just a different game now.

Oh, it's one of those situations. it's like, it's not the same. Like RuneScape. I just, I don't even play it anymore. The story's just gone fucking bonkers, and I think that, I don't know, I just, I don't, I'll definitely go back and check out expansions, because me and Holly, it just gives us something to do, but we never stick around. Yeah. I, uh, I say that, um, sorry, I completely forgot what i was about to say we're gonna say

something about runescape because i was super obsessed with i never played roots no it was it was on the topic of these mmos i just completely just i always went to this site it was like free mmos there was this one yeah i went there there's this one where you you were on the moon with other astronauts and you'd like what you'd have like a cart and like drive it around. And all you would do is like, it was just like a giant chat room, but with astronauts on the moon. Just a bunch of people. Like Club Penguin on the moon.

Yeah. Except there's, there's no, it was nothing but being able to chat with people, running around, playing with the gravity and playing on the like rover thing. That's awesome. My, my favorite most recent, I guess, MMO would just be Space Station 13, which I haven't played it in months. We played it together. I never played it. I never got into it. You tried it though, right?

You have to role play. You never even tried it? Well, Space Station 13 is an incredibly difficult game to get into, I think. Is it too much for my little pea brain? It's a little bit too much. I'm just wondering. You know how my brain is. There's a big learning curve. It's uh i'm just wondering you know how my brain is there's a big learning curve it's no club penguin okay it's no club thing the thing about that i remember i bought a membership to that oh my parents did remember fucking toontown i never played toontown i played once but i kept crashing out of it i got it i got like the free

trial of toontown did you ever play one of like did you ever play one of those free shitty MMOs? Yeah. I don't mean to. Oh, wait. I played Guild Wars and Guild Wars 2 a little bit as well. Okay, I can go way further than that. Well, of course you can because you're older than us. Yeah, I played.

So in 1999 or 2000, I started playing a game called Estonia, the Lost Mer- Well, sorry. That was the next bit. That name rings a bell. Estonia V2? Yeah, I know that. Version 2. What?

I know that. Have I showed it to you? Um, I think a girl I know showed it to me recently. How the fuck? I don't know. She showed it to me though. Really? Yeah, for real. Like, this is a game that like 50 people played.

Yeah, she showed it to me. I'm not kidding. Fuck off. I'm serious. I guarantee you we probably played together. Well, she's- Who was she's she's my age or a little older than me so probably not but thanks for judging my that doesn't seem right she would be way she showed it to me though estonia there's well there's there's two versions

though there's estonia v3 which was like round runescape time and there's estonia v2 which was like early early 2000s she could have shown me the newer one i just know it was estonia okay because i remember it reminded me of the country. Oh, okay. All right, all right. Well, the game was like, it only could hold like 50 people on the server at a time. So it was a really small, tight-knit community.

They had this thing called, and it looked like, the best way I could describe it was like a really, really low graphics Ultima Online. And they had this whole thing, like you'd log in, you'd appear at this temple and then this like you'd hear the guards go

mayestu past the last gate and then you'd just walk forward there's like this really compressed audio clip and then there's these janitors that would walk around the town and every time someone like left an item on the ground the janitor would come over and like pick it up right and they just keep picking up this

shit all this trash that had been put on the ground. And they'd also turn back on lanterns that people turned off. So I remember one day I was like, all right, you know what? Let's get more of my friends playing this game because I think it's awesome. And I invited my friend Attilio, who was like this obviously very Italian guy.

Anyway, so Attilio, I invited him on and he didn't really play video games, but he was still like a good friend of mine. And Attilio was just invited him on, and he didn't really play video games, but he was still, like, a good friend of mine. And Atilio was just, like, he came back. No, he met with me, and I logged on, and he was like, I've been playing for hours, and I've been trying to talk to this one girl, and she won't talk to me. She keeps ignoring me because he was, like, a real, like...

He's a ladies' man. He's a ladies' man. So I go on to find this, like, girl that he's been trying to talk to, and it was the fucking janitor NPC who'd been walking around the town picking up shit and he's like she just won't talk to me I've been chasing a jan he said it wrong he's like jan janeth

janeth it was so funny I was like losing my shit laughing because he'd been chasing and trying he's like hey hey do you want to talk do you want to chat and I was just like oh my fuck god I've been trying to talk to the janitor NPC for like that's incredible it was so funny holy shit um i had a runescape girlfriend yeah well i tried and it didn't work out i had one really yeah i told my mom and everything i'm like mom was it like that official wow yeah we only played twice it was it lasted like two days

i'm sorry she's now like i know like whatever what does she watch maybe she watches he probably has kids He probably It was a grown man It definitely was I guarantee that happened All the time Like a grown man Pretending to be

Like a young girl Catfishes In fact I did think it was weird They did like ask me How old I was Oh dude I had a weird

Creepy pedophile story You told that I think before the podcast I told it on another podcast With Ding Dong and Julian Yeah Was Chris there as well And we did fucking Was it the Clash of Julians was that the episode was a different julian wasn't there because

that was oh that was the other one okay that was the one that was that the one with like uh ding dong chris you me and matt yeah the big one look never had all three on whatever it was it was uh it was the i was just telling the story that i used to go on this chat room called on chat which is fucking super gone now. And it was like a Java window or flash window that you'd log into. And you just had a picture and there's a picture of a background. And then you just had your PNG GIF image that you'd move around, like just click. And the character would just slowly move to that spot.

And then people would just be talking with speech bubbles above them. So just this big flat image that you just stared at. And it was super dumb. And it was not interesting but this one time two stories one time and i think this is the story i might have told i there was a show called cyber cyber zone that was a gaming show so i just called myself cyber zone on the on the on the chat room and a guy pulled me into a room and i had a female avatar for just like a few minutes because i just was fucking around just goofing around yeah and he and he was like he's he's like hey so you're down to cyber and i'm like i okay and he's just the person that had sex with you yeah some guy was just like clearly cybering me but he didn't know like i

didn't say how old i was he was just trying to cyber with me and i was like oh i don't know what's happening this is weird and i just logged off off. And I said, sorry, I'm a dude. Okay, bye. And he goes, that makes it even better. Yeah. But the other one was that because of the way that the chat worked, I figured out something really funny. All my friends like stole it after this.

Was that if you made your avatar a one pixel square and then just submitted it you were invisible so what I do is I also made my name a bunch of like those like weird characters so it wouldn't register in the game so my name was I was just fucking completely 100% invisible yeah

you know other people probably did this too I never saw anyone else do it because they were invisible probably so I was walking around going to chat rooms and stuff and what I would do is i would look at someone who was like this guy like a real gangster you know like really cool yeah yeah skater avatar of like a guy sitting down looking all like fucking cool and he'd be talking to girls like acting all tough and then um yeah and then they'd have their speech bubbles set to a certain

color and all this shit so I would like match the the RGB I would match it and then I click my little dot to go behind their head and then just layer it perfectly I'd wait for them to go silent and then I'd say something like Man, I can't watch the taste of penis out of my mouth Everyone be like what? What the fuck I didn't say that he's like just kidding yes i did i would just fucking do this and my friends found out about him look crazy yeah and i started doing it to like this guy that i that was kind of a dick and like i knew from school and he got really mad

and were you cyber bullying someone ross yes of course that's a federal course i was federal fucking crime bro is it really no it's just it is a crime well no i don was! It's a federal fucking crime, bro. Is it really? No, it's just, it is a crime. Well, not in Australia. Yeah. That's a crime? Bullying, yeah. After all those cases of those, like, girls at a high school. I didn't know bullying was illegal. Cyberbullying is serious because now, like, a fucking kid could be in, like, ninth grade

and have a million YouTube subscribers. He's like, this bitch Pauletta said this stuff and fuck her! Go out, here's her email! People have killed themselves over this shit. It's totally illegal. It has to be. I mean like the act of bullying.

Is that illegal? No. That's what I thought. That would be like being a dick is illegal. It's not illegal to be an asshole. It's looked down upon though. I'm thinking about joining the cyber bully police. Cyber bully like defense squad or something. Is that a thing?

Let's make it a thing. We could call ourselves the white knights. Let's protect everyone from mean trolls online. No, you're not. You're not getting in here today, trolls. I'm here to protect all the beautiful women on the internet. I actually, if you guys would be down. Yeah, I'm down.

I'd be off crack to start like a group of men online specifically to protect we start a youtube channel called the white knights where we just protect like there is already one called the white knights probably what do they do i don't know i'm gonna look it up right now let's let's let's give everyone an update on those those oh yeah i haven't checked on my twitter let's see oh i have 20 notifications more than 20 um let's see i have 20. Don't send them here. It says, I don't care if I'm blocked, so I'm posting them here. Here's one. When there are too many characters and you can't decide who to ship,

and it's a Steven Universe character saying, why don't we all marry each other? And then Cartoon Network responded to, it's the only solution, with the princess emoji. And then everyone, something's telling me he doesn't want them. Thanks, they're catching on. Here's some real Steven Universe memes. Here's, uh, someone saying, now watch me whip.

And watch me nay-nay. And it's a character, um, throwing their fist towards the camera. Which one? Show me it. This one right here? Oh, that's, uh, that's Garnet. What? Oh, the character? Yeah, that's her name. Here's some more Steven Universe memes, okay?

That one's funny. It's Pepe the frog mixed with uh this character paradox that is funny that's actually really funny that is funny can i get a high five from both of you for that one yeah sure there you go i'm thinking about changing the logo for this podcast now keep your hand real steady what are you doing ow ross to. You hurt me. Guys. Sorry, I didn't mean to. I looked up the channel The White Knights. The first thing that comes up is a channel called Loyal White Knights. Oh, is it like a white supremacy thing?

Yeah. It is? On a horse raising a cross with a Confederate flag and an old American flag. That's not what we meant. That's the opposite of what we meant. Then the one below that says White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. No! It's not what we meant. That's the opposite of what we meant. Then the one below that says White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. No! Another one then says Christian American

White Knights with that cross kind of white nationality. That's the opposite. Then another one is just White Knights with the Confederate flag. These are like the first channels that come up when you type in the White Knights. Can you imagine that would be a big part of our branding? Just like, no, we were going to-

We're the White Knights. We stop online bullying, but we're not the KKK. That's a different thing. They do the online bullying. We're here to stop it. They were there. They were here first, but we came second. But we still think we have better claim to the name White Knights.

We try to take the Twitter handle, The Real White Knights. Yeah. Ross. Ross. Yeah. Have you played a Call of Duty game before? Yeah. Which ones have you played? The first one.

The first one? Yeah, the one where it was just World War II. Did you not play Modern Warfare? Which one? One or two? Or three? I played two. The one where you kill a bunch of people in an airport?

No, not that one. That's two. That's two? That's Modern Warfare 2. Then I guess I played Modern Warfare 1. Okay. One is the, did you play through the whole thing? No, I just Warfare 2. Then I guess I played Modern Warfare 1. Okay, one is the... Did you play through the whole thing?

No, I just shot people online. Oh, you only played multiplayer. Why would I play the story mode? That's cyberbullying, Ross. Matt, did you ever play Call of Duty? Yeah, I played, like, Black Ops or something. Did you play with friends, or did you just kind of watch someone play it? I played with friends.

I was... At my age, when that... You want to start a clan, guys? No. Are you sure? Halo was my thing when I was a kid. You called the White Knights? I liked Halo more than Call of Duty.

Did you- Was that whole thing just so you could make that joke? Yeah. That whole bit was just so you could make a joke about making a Call of Duty clan called the White Knights? You know what my clan was called? My clan was because you could only have four letters in your clan name. Yeah. My clan name, huh?

Go, go, go, go. What was yours? It was the letter. It was the number four. Me and my cousin. Well, I can think of three of them. No, Ross. It was the letter four.

I mean, the number four. Yeah. And then S-K-N. So it said foreskin. Oh, that's smart. Mine was Rhino. R-Y-N-O. Who was in that clan?

Just me. I just wanted it next to my name. On Halo, I remember there was this whole thing. So on the first Xbox, you could get Xbox Live and then play online, whatever. But if you didn't have the online subscription for the first Xbox, what people used was this software called XKai Link, or I think there's another one, I can't remember the name of it, or Xbox Kinect.

So basically what you did was you went to the land section of like halo 2 or halo 1 actually and you would connect because your xbox was on the network you would run this program on your computer and it would feed a virtual network from the internet to your xbox so you could just play land games with people in like the united states that's awesome really so it's totally free but the only thing was there was no obviously policing of like cheating and stuff yeah so it was like the fucking wild west like i would log on with my friend uh uh mike um he works he works at riot now fucking nicest dude best man at my wedding actually wasn't me

yeah I know but he he was at the time we were really young let me just preface this we were really young we would have been like 16 17 at the time and we got onto Halo 2 and the

the Pope had just died at the time. Hilarious. So what we did was we made our we all made our name on XKai Link, Badass Pope. Ross, I'm gonna stop you right here. If you go any further and disrespect the Pope, I'm gonna have a serious issue.

Okay, so then what we did was all as Badass Pope, we would fuck it. It's such a 16 year old i know i know badass look how edgy i am it's like all the kids with fucking anime avatars i love that you know yeah i love that but anyway i was i guess i was one of those kids uh but anyway so i we were all we were all named badass pope and uh mike who was like really fucking good at like fucking he's mean, he's a fucking programmer. He's good at fucking, yeah.

He's good at fucking. That's why he was the best man at the wedding. Yeah, dude. Dude, gay. So he was amazing at screwing with the code in the game, and he set up so many funny things, some of them that only he could see because it involves too much heavy coding,

but he had swapped some assets of Halo. So for instance, the machine gun on the back of the Warthog, you know, the chain gun one? I don't know, did you play Halo? I played with Ryan. Okay, so, you know the chain gun on the back of the Warthog, right? Yeah. He changed it, so every single bullet that came out of that

was the fucking tank shot. Wait, really? Like, the tank. Jesus Christ. How did that not crash anyone's system? I don't know. That's overload. It was going like, and it was like this explosion, explosion, explosion, explosion. Because you know the fire rate of the machine gun. Yes, it's insane.

Every bullet turned to a tank rocket. It was so funny. And we would just charge the base. I'm sure the sound was just like... It was just obliterated speakers. Just obliterated speakers. But it was hysterical. We were just losing our shit laughing over Skype.

And what happened was our buddy Spencer, who also works at Riot, was there too. Works at Ryan's? He works at Riot. Great restaurant. Oh, I thought you said the buffet. No, it's awful. It's such a bad buffet. That was my favorite restaurant when I was a kid.

I used to, yeah, same here. Sorry, Roscoe. We'll talk about Ryan's later. What we did was, we're such fucking dumb young kids, so he set it up so when you held down the horn on the warthog, it just went, like, you know, did the normal warthog noise.

So he'd run it into the bass, and then just let go of the horn, and when you did that, it activated an explosion of a hundred rockets from the center of the car so the car literally like exploded in the base and killed everyone so he basically turned the car into a bomb and uh one of the other things we did was if he was driving if mike was driving um wait was this

like on blood gulch i'm no was this yeah it was on blood gulch yeah if mike was driving and because he was the one with the the the fucking fiddled xbox mine was just a normal xbox he could set it up so when he was driving the car could fly what so the car was flying around in halo 2 and it had this fucking turret that was shooting, like, tank shots in, like, secession. And then if we'd fly down to the base and just explode, it was just, oh, it was so much fun. I just played Vanilla Halo. I never did that stuff. Although, have you seen that they're working on a Halo 3 for the, like, computer? What?

Well, not, like, an official one, but, like, one of those fan projects. Oh, it's Halo 3. I haven't kept up with that, but Halo 3 was so good. Halo 2 is pretty good, though. Like, multiplayer and stuff, like, with friends. Yeah. That's where I had, that was the peak of my Halo fandom, I guess. People didn't like good, though. Like, multiplayer and stuff, like, with friends. Yeah. That's where I had... That was the peak of my Halo fandom, I guess.

People didn't like Halo 4, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. I didn't like it that much. It was fun. Matt loved it, for some reason. I loved the Mantis. I loved the mech. The mech was so much fun. Matt's favorite character was Johnson.

Who? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was my favorite character. He's such a good... Did you see the... Remember that time, like, did he just, like, walk off the edge of a cliff in our playthrough? Yeah, he was like, he, like, spawned somewhere else,

and we couldn't carry on the mission unless he was with us. And he just walked off and killed himself. And we had to wait for him to spawn to continue, and it took, like, minutes. Have you seen the... Have you ever beaten Halo 1 on Legendary? No.

So when you beat Halo 1 on legendary it would show the ending cutscene would show like i don't know like an elite looking around and he'd see the the ring exploding and you'd be like oh fuck but if you play it beat on legendary the the cutscene was uh johnson and he was is that his name johnson johnson no i've seen this cutscene before yeah and then he just hid there he's just like fighting with an elite over a gun and they see the explosion and he just looks at the elite and he goes hold me and then he like hugs and embraces the elite as the explosion encompasses them so worth it such a good ending if you want to go through fucking library that that uh the the flood one i loved all the easter eggs and all the halo like that in at least from uh one through three like stuff like that i always enjoyed that bungie always made sure to put really nice easter eggs in games and

which is something that i can't i don't find easter eggs that much anymore like fun ones yeah i see like oh look here here's a dog that's based on one of the game developers dogs but like i don't see like references the stuff that developers intentionally put there for like just to there's there's a bunch of like shit you have to go through to get an easter egg and now like back in the day they just throw something in and be like ah I just hid this the programmers would do it just for fun but nowadays

you actually have to tell the production manager you can get fired for it so business fucked it up maybe an easter egg DLC pack you can buy easter eggs you get a random box and it an Easter egg DLC pack? I don't know. You can buy Easter eggs? You know, you get a random box and it puts random Easter eggs that you don't know about into the game? That's great.

Yeah. I love it. When's the last time you guys went on an actual Easter egg hunt? When I was little. Like real Easter eggs. I was very little. I was very little, dude. How about you, Matt?

Last weekend? Yeah, actually, it was in the last two months. Last Christmas? There was a church down the street that was having one. For some reason. And I just kind of showed up and did it in la yeah i had a great time it was me and then like 20 other people kids but well yeah why are we so close to the kids because i was just i was trying to doing the same thing they were doing finding easter eggs trying to introduce them to splatoon oh that's real funny bringing super mega memes into this now yeah

dude man god damn it ross yeah you and those uh when we're on a podcast together it's just back and forth of god damn it ross yes yes yes daddy likes it's a fun battle we should sell a t-shirt that's like yes yes yes god damn it ross daddy likes daddy god damn it ross likes times new roman white shirt how about it not centered god damn it god damn it yes yes yes daddy ross like daddy ross like let's sell it split the can we split can we split the profits absolutely sure what would you do if you just found it like one day you looked in our merch store we were just selling a god damn it ross shirt i'd laugh would you like do you think found it, like, one day you looked in our merch store and we were just selling a Goddammit Ross shirt? I'd laugh.

Do you think Aaron would try to sue us? Why? He doesn't own the rights to someone being frustrated at me. You can't get frustrated at him. That belongs to GameGroves LLC. The internet owns that, right? Yeah. Yeah, right.

I definitely think, like, Aaron, Barry, Brent, and Dan would file a lawsuit against us. Yeah, you think? Yeah. Wait, why would Barry? Just because... Barry just wants to be involved. He just wants to be part of the lawsuit? He just wants to be a part of it.

He doesn't want to be left out. Yeah? I mean, why would... Why would he want to be left out if everyone's suing each other? If there was a lawsuit, I'd love to get in on that. Like, if Game Grumps had a major lawsuit, I'd love to get in on this. Who could we sue? Smash cut to, like, a year from now when Game Grumps is gone from a major lawsuit and we're looking back at this like, shit.

Why did we fucking think it was fun to sue each other? We should all sue each other as a big video joke. If we sued each other and just gave, like, if I sued you and I gave you the money back, like, what was that? You'd have to pay taxes on the money that you got back. Wouldn't you? Like, wouldn't there be some weird tax thing? Is there? Maybe.

Do you have to pay taxes on, like, court winnings? Yeah, money that's rewarded via, like, a court ruling. A court ruling there maybe you have to pay taxes on like yeah a money that's rewarded via like a court rule court ruling but it's your it's your money well you'd be taxing the money either way the money would be taxed either way eventually through is the money you lose from being sued tax deductible well actually when you that's a business expense it's a business expense this lawsuit was a business expense. We should call up our fucking accountant and be like, hey, I just had a question. Just hear me out. I think that...

It's our accountant. We do actually have the same accountant. Really good guy. Beautiful. I love him. He is beautiful. He is. He's gorgeous. Every time Ryan and I see him, we give him a kiss on opposite sides of his cheeks. I get the right, he gets the left.

We have young people watching. They don't want to know about taxes and accountants. They want them to tell them a funny joke about Mario right now. I got one for you. Okay, let's do it. Mario walks into a dang bar. But he's in Minecraft. Wait, is Sonic there?

Sonic the Hedgehog has got a Minecraft bar. Okay, there's a Minecraft bar. Mario walks into a Minecraft bar. Sonic's behind the bar. Sonic's the bartender. Sonic's the bartender. Sonic's the bartender. Yes. And Mario goes, I'll have one gin and tonic, please.

And Sonic goes, coming right up, senior Mario. Dude. Yeah, right? And so he pours him a gin and tonic. And Mario goes, hold on. On the rocks. So he makes it on the rocks. And he gives it to Mario.

And Mario says, he takes a sip and goes What is this? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Is that it? That's the punchline? Keep going dude What is this? And then right before Mario takes a sip Hero Brian walks in SHIT!

No fucking way! Hero Brian walks in! He doesn't even exist in the real game, did you know that? Are you serious? Yeah! No, he's in the patch notes. He's in the patch notes? So wait, hold on. Are you sure?

Yeah. Is this canon? Sorry Matt, continue. I was very enthralled. Hero Bryant sits down next to Mario. Okay. And he goes, I'll have what he's having. And then, steam comes out of his ears. Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho Sonic goes right away, sir, and he gets a big bowl of circus peanuts and Mario takes us

He eats one of the circus peanuts and goes I caramba. I forgot I'm allergic to these suckers And then in came Crash Bandicoot AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm dying I'm dying I'm even get to finish my joke I thought that was has an allergic reaction and the pediatrics... He gets smaller and then he's too young to drink. Okay, yeah, that's it. And then he gets arrested for underage drinking. Alright guys, animate that one. I can see that. Just like, it's like got clips of the fucking shit happening

and then just like long pauses of us on the couch trying to think of what happens next. Ryan, you're laughing. That's like one of my favorite moments ever yeah it was all that laughing you say all i have to do is do a do a big old fake laugh and i get matt laughing there's nothing that'll make me laugh quicker i your laugh is like it's like gold i want to mine i want to i want to make sure you know that wasn't an actual laugh, though, Ross. It still made me laugh, which made it genuine. Aw.

Thank you. No, no, no. It was a real laugh, Matt. I'm sorry. Do you know that's actually a thing that some people do? They're like, to fake laughter for a while, it actually gives you endorphins and makes you happy. It does.

I felt very happy afterwards. I feel happy right now. I actually have a fucking tear in the corner of my eye from laughing so hard at Ryan's laugh. You were doing one of those silent laughs where like you weren't making much noise. Because it's like the laugh is so deep that it's just, it's too much. And it's like holding me down. Yeah, you look like a squirrel having a brain aneurysm. Have you seen that?

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what I looked like. I was like, it felt like there was a large man sitting on my chest. Which it's something I'm very into. And I was, it felt like I was underwater and there was a man sitting on me at the bottom of a pool. Like sleep paralysis.

Dude, have you ever had sleep paralysis? Yeah, it's scary. I've only had it once. I've had it once. Freaky as fuck. But I fucking willed myself out of it. I like, I woke up with it. I couldn't move.

And I said, I know what this is. I've read about it. Okay. I feel someone's next to me. That's not real. Alright, let's try and move. And he opened his eyes and fucking healed. And then I moved. I was like, I got out of it. I willed myself out of it. So you felt the creepy of...

I felt the creepy like there's someone on my chest. There's someone next to me. I might have even heard a voice. But I was like, none of this is real. Actually, one thing that happened really recently was so fucking weird. But I remember it really vividly. I was like, none of this is real actually one thing that happened really recently was so fucking weird but I remember it really vividly I was having a dream about like a doctor or something scary like that

the doctor was clearly doing some scary shit and I woke up but my, for half a split second when I woke up the image of the doctor was still in my eyesight so it looked like he was like right there when you woke up

no no not like he was there like perspective wise it didn't even fit with the ceiling I was looking at but he's like the image of his like medical uniform and stuff was still there when I opened my eyes for like half a second I was like whoa what the fuck like I just saw that that happened to me once when I was young

I had a dream that I was falling down a hole. This is a nightmare that stuck with me ever since I was like four. I had a dream I was falling down a dirt hole that was bottomless. And every few feet in the hole, there was a hand or an arm coming out. And they're all grabbing me and hitting me as I was falling down. And then I got to the bottom of this pit. And there were a a million like balloon people. That's the best way I can describe them.

People made out of balloons. Creepy clown balloons. Creepers. I would much rather have creepers. They're much less scary. Just a bunch of creepy floating creatures. I don't know about that. And I woke up and they were still in my fucking room and I saw them floating around. I screamed and my mom came in and I cried a little bit. But I had a fever so it turned out it was just

a fever dream. But that shit's scary. And also Ross, I'd like to let you know that a very close friend of mine she just texted me a Steven Universe meme she didn't even tweet it she just texted to me so thank you same friend that what was the game? yeah it is it's the same friend

on a something Estonia yeah look this girl look, this girl. Look at this. Well, I want to ask her. She's texting me. You need it. We need it.

Ask her right now if it's this game that Ross is talking about. It was Estonia. Are you sure? Yeah, but like the one that Ross played. Because like how old is she? 22. Dude, that's way too young to know what it is. It cannot be Estonia.

It had to have been. A-S-T-O-N-I-A. It was created by a man by the name of Daniel Brockes. He's a German developer. Wait, it starts with an A? Yeah. Okay, hold on. Let me ask you.

Let's get to the bottom of this. It's impossible that it's the same. She could have just been a young genius. She would have had to be really young. We're talking this game was played in the year 2000. How old were you? I was in the first year of high school so i was 13 okay which means she would have to have been in middle school or some

shit there's no way she could have known about it what if you showed me ross i think i showed you dude so why do you then how did you confuse some girl with ross because in my is right here so it should click automatically in my head okay here's my line of thought i remember being showed as i was sitting on a couch and he was the couch in my room and i was i swear i was being shown on a laptop which i had and we were both in my room were you high no i was not high he was not high i promise i was sober on life i was high on christ it's good let me ask you right now we'll get to the bottom of this no i don't yeah no i did show it to you i remember did you show it to me i did it was you why did i I think it was this girl? I don't know.

Why do I have this memory of being on my couch with her and she showed me this game? Because we were talking about, we were talking about RuneScape. Does this girl even fucking exist, Matt? He just sent himself Steven Universe memes. Wait a second. Matt number two? No! What's the second cell phone doing under that pillow?

What if like- With lipstick on it. With lipstick. So I put lipstick on myself. To kiss me own phone look at this Ross look at this Steven universe Me and mine just received. Are you happy with yourself? It's just a bunch of Steven universe. Oh cool. Good job, man. Very look at this Ryan Oh, what the fuck hit me in the face with a fucking dragon dildo What are you talking about? I you stood up and you threw a dildo at my head.

I've been sitting here the whole time. It smacked me in the face. I've been sitting here the whole fucking time. People don't hear the sound of that fucking podcast. I don't know. Maybe it was. That scared the shit out of me. It smacked me in the side of the face.

It hit my ear. You see me sitting in this chair right now, correct? I'm taking a picture of this dragon dildo you just threw at me. So what? I know I shouldn't be on my phone while we're doing this. But like, I guess a fucking cop with a body cam came across a set where some guy was robbing a bank and then as they came out the cop shot one of them what yeah wait did he kill him wait what dead serious check this shit out raw video croft crawfordsville

indiana police officer shoots an actor on a movie set mistaking him for a real bank robber. No injuries, but he shot at him. Are you putting this in the podcast? Put sound on. Okay, hold on. Guys, you're hearing it here first. How did the director not yell? Drop the gun now! Drop the gun!

Drop the gun! We're doing a movie! We're doing a movie! Step back! Step back! Step back! We're doing a movie! Step back! Step back! Step back now! Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! Hey, you guys better get out of here, man!

Hey, stay inside! Stay inside! Stay inside! Stay inside. Jesus, what movie, though? Like, this must have been an independent thing. And usually if you have the proper paperwork... They did. They had traffic cones all around the bank. Oh, okay.

Hold on real quick. Matt, you're still playing with that dragon dildo. Wow. That is not what a dragon's penis would look like. Yeah, it is. No, it's not. It's like a lizard cock. Is that what a lizard cock looks like?

Why would a dragon's penis have this bulge right here in the middle of it? That's like a dog cock. How would I have the dragon dildo if you hadn't thrown it at me in the head? Because you picked it up off the floor and you're like, oh, how can I transition this? I'll just pretend that Ryan threw it at me. Oh my god, Ryan. You are killing me. You are tearing me apart, Ryan.

You're tearing me apart, Lisa. Tearing me apart, Ryan. I still haven't seen The Room all the way through. Neither have I. We got it in the mail. We should watch it. We got it on DVD. You got to watch it before the documentary comes out.

Oh, the disaster artist? Do you mean the movie about it? What do you mean the documentary? Is there also a... Yeah, the disaster artist. I mean the documentary. You know what I mean. Oh mean the movie about it? What do you mean the documentary? Is there also a... Yeah, the Disaster Artist. I mean, the documentary. You know what I mean. Oh, the movie based on the book?

Can we watch it at your place, Ross? What, the new... The room. Just the room. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Have you ever seen it all the way through? Of course.

I've seen it many times. No. Is it funny? Yeah. Is there boobies? Yeah, there are boobies. There are boobies. There's lots of nips.

In fact, it starts off with just one too many sex scenes. Like, he just did it it I've seen the beginning the sex scenes are like way too long like they just go on and on and on it was just it was just one whole thing

of like I think him wanting to show off his bod he also apparently had to like tape his cock to his leg in those scenes because he kept getting hard on and it was making like

the woman uncomfortable or something so he just had to tape his dick to his leg with tape like in that show The Hard Times of R.J. Berger well usually they have

a thing where like your dick isn't actually like slapping or slapping around on the woman during the scene i could say i i could bet that like tommy wiseau got there and just like got fully naked and then like lubed himself up and she's like what are you doing he's like my character soon and she's like we're not actually having sex i mean he's like oh fuck that's the whole reason i made this movie i mean he had to like go through the rest of it and that's why that's why the movie's so bad yeah yeah because he's like fuck now i just have to get this over with it's like the nathan for you when you've made that fake film had to make the fake award show that's one of my favorite

favorite episodes when he makes them with the bill gates impersonator and the johnny depp impersonator the last episode of the new season's gonna have that guy again yeah it's the documentary oh god i can't wait for that shit. I cannot wait for that shit. Wait, is there a new episode yet? Thursday, I think. Thursday, okay, cool. Which is the day this podcast comes out.

But this podcast comes out not this Thursday, Ross, but next Thursday. So there will be two episodes. Oh, shit, what date? That this podcast comes out? 16th? Thursday the... No, no, no, sorry, the 14th or something like that? 12th.

Oh, yeah, whatever. Thursday the 12th. It's Thursday the 12th right now, guys. I'm sorry. Thursday the 12th? No, I was just trying to see. I was going to say, if my new project, the new Grumps thing

that I've been working on. Well, we don't know yet. Have you not even said what it is, like the name? Do you want to announce it on the Super Mega Podcast? No, we've got a new project coming. We might have announced it on Twitter by now we actually probably have because we're going to be showing off stuff up to the release so oh this project never mind i was thinking of game overs yeah everyone knows about game i'm sorry that's that's what do you mean everyone knows about game over ryan come on i didn't mean it like that I'm just saying like people

like when I said on Twitter that I was working on some stuff for a new it's this thing this everyone was like yeah we know what you mean cartoon shows like no it's a fucking other thing I'm not give us gonna take fucking bajillion years to make it's so hard it's difficult is it the first episode 20 28

minutes long but it's looking fucking good thank you looking really good. I'm so glad I get to behind the scenes look because I really enjoy the process of watching it happen. Guys, I have to say, Gameiverse is fucking incredible. Like, Ross, you have put it... I'm not just busting your balls right now. You have...

As someone who has watched it get developed and I see where it's at now, it is unreal how talented you are and how good that shit looks thank you that means a lot my favorite part honestly about it this is gonna sound like i'm sucking your dick no i mean we just suck his dick right now take it off but the thing is you and i had that talk ross about just the world of game over yeah just the fucking thought you put into it like you made sure to just think of everything

you legitimately made a world it wasn't like I want to make a cartoon about this I'm going to make a show about this it's going to exist in this world and you built that world I can talk about it a bit but I just can't reveal details about it okay

how do I word this because people okay if you don't know details about it okay I'll how do I word this uh oh uh cause people okay if you don't know um we're making a cartoon show at Game Grumps

uh it's a really long process obviously cause we're making it with a skeleton crew but um we have all the talent it's a crew of skeletons crew of skeletons

they're very talented I don't know how they move it's amazing Matt's the leader um so uh Amber known as Crooked Glass is StarX's

star pirate Ashley super great concept artist Chad who you guys might have known he's been on some Gangrams podcast I think I was on one of the movie podcasts he helped write it with me I was definitely on one

Aaron also helped write it and essentially it was a show that stemmed from a bunch Yeah, he helped write it with me. I was definitely on one. Yeah, Aaron also helped write it. And essentially it was a show that stemmed from a bunch of old silly shorts I did on Newgrounds back when, what do you mean, like 18 or 19? And me and Aaron made them together and they were just really goofy. But we loved the characters and we're like, we should come back to this someday. And then we actually did. but what I wanted to do is a lot of times when people ask me about it they make assumptions about what it's going to be

because of the name what I actually set out to do with this show is I wanted to make a show that where the aesthetic and the themes, oh sorry not the themes, the aesthetic of the show is video games and the setting is video games but I wanted to tell a story driven action comedy in the universe of the show is video games and the setting is video games but i wanted to tell a story-driven action comedy in the universe of video games but without making any video game

jokes like not making the typical like oh luigi like you know that's the mushroom it's like drugs you know like i i literally i i think i wrote a bunch of rules for the the show like there's no viruses there's no user we're like a folder or something like pages of like this like all the rules and yeah yeah so so in no point in the show are we like okay the humans are coming there's a user because i like when i went when like record ralph yeah when record ralph was coming out i was still like kind of working on building the universe for it, and I was really nervous. I was like, fuck, are they going to do

something exactly like what I'm doing? And I watched and I'm like, oh, thank God, it's just fucking Toy Story. It's just Toy Story with video games. They're playing it so safe. Not that it's bad. I actually like Wreck-It Ralph. But it's not going... There was, you know, they had their story, but there was a lot of references. There were a lot of

video game characters and icons that they used. Yours isn't, the comedy isn't derived from that. It's the characters. Yeah. It's like a regular show. Yeah, so like, I can say a little bit about the characters. I'm trying to talk around all this. That doesn't spoil the...

Nice face, man. Yeah, that doesn't spoil the concepts of the show. Because there's some pretty weird out there concepts that I introduce about how this universe works. And when I tell people, they're like, that is fucking insane. And I'm like, yeah, it's pretty weird. I showed it to Sky Williams when he was in the office. And he was just like, he sends me messages every other week about like, wait, I had another idea. What happens if this happens?

I'm like, this, this, this, this. And he's like, goddammit, you always know the answer to everything and I'm like yeah but anyway the main characters is uh Kit and Kaboodle they're uh essentially like um uh it's they're the amalgamation of like the the entire 90s from like video games so like they're like Banjo-Kazooie Mega Man Ratchet and Clank like everything like all pushed into one like character yeah wise um kaboom is a huge asshole kit's kind of like she wants to be something more than what she is and she's i like her she's the protagonist but then also on their team they have uh they have a team so like i'm not going to go into that but there's gobbles and flappers gobbles is a uh a pudgy like magenta dinosaur from a

children's learning game who who's completely unassuming other than the fact that his only ability is to learn, but he's surrounded by all these fucking amazing characters. So over the course of the show, you learn, like, oh, learning's actually a really cool fucking thing to have. Yeah. You're really good at learning. And then there's Flappers, who's insanely strong,

and he's a dolphin. He's a super dolphin. I love Flappers. Yeah. Aaron loves voicing Flappers. But, yeah, it's... I'm really fucking happy with it. The storyboards look fucking amazing. They're so fucking tight.

If you watch the first episode in animatic form, it's just watching the cartoon. You have 100% bragging rights on those storyboards. That is... Well, I mean, me and Amber, I couldn't have done it without her. Well, y'all worked tirelessly on them. Like, I was doing, like, 12 to 14-hour days. I remember when she was in the office

and just, like, y'all would come in, just work yourselves, like, just till, like, technically early morning, essentially. Yeah, we'd get in really early. We'd get in at nine and then we'd be there till, like... I mean, I would always say to Amber,

because, I mean, she's, you know, I'm only paying her to do, like, eight hours work. Like, I didn't... I was like, you don't have to stay working i mean she's you know i'm only paying her to do like eight hours work like i didn't i was like you don't have to stay working she's like well you know i don't i'm gonna go back to your place and just sit so i mean might as well i was like all right and she didn't want to work i was just like you're fine just go do whatever you want um because obviously i don't want to work amber to the bone because you know it's not her problem yeah but you know amber's such a sweet girl i mean like you you've done you've gotten so much work done like you were so busy making this

but you still had time for like everything else in your life like the other shows and like helping out with like Holly's channel and stuff and just having a fucking social life too like that's that's cool oh my god I I don't know how you fucking do it I don't know how I do it either

I mean I that was one of the things Sky said to me when I was showing him he was just like holy fuck you must have an understanding wife and I'm like you have no idea there are times when I get home and it's like I've gotten home from work

and it's been like 11pm and I'm like hey do you want to hang out and watch a thing? And she's like, I kind of want to go to bed. I'm like, it's OK. Like, but she totally gets it. You know, I always make time for Holly when I can. And I always try to make sure that on Saturday and Sunday I do something to keep me sane.

Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't want to I didn't want to gush about all this stuff because I don't want to take you away from your podcast. And it's like you've been doing so much. But I mean, I'm telling, it's kind of, the thing that sucks about it is I'm essentially telling these people, oh, there's a really awesome thing I'm making and you're not going to see it for a really long time because it's 28 minutes. That's the process. Yeah, I know. Well, like, let's look at, like, examples.

I mean, like, I'm not trying to compare anything, but just in the general way events go. Like, Uphead was announced years and years and years ago. True. And so like, it takes time to make a quality product and you want, and you want to make sure it's quality. And I know that because you'll go back and redo, you're like,

I didn't like the way that looked. And you'll spend a whole day working on like seven, like three cells or something. Oh, you mean the panels? Cause these shots, like I had a lot of shitty shots and like generally speaking,

you'd have, you know, you'd have your board revisionists, you'd have all these other people that would do all these different jobs. But for what we're doing right now, you know, it was me, Amber, making storyboards, like a 28 minute long cartoon,

which is, I talked to a lot of people, friends at like Cartoon Network and Nick, and they're like, that's a bit much. Well, they're more than the usual storyboards, too. They're way more. Some of the bits are actually animated. So there's some fight scene stuff in the show, and there's a lot of action

in the show. There's some fight scene stuff where I took a few months to teach myself how to do proper sakuga, which is basically like the japanese fight like anime fights like naruto yeah that kind of like intense perspective all that stuff i wanted to i wanted to learn that because i was like i want my show to look like this it's so cool

so i spent like a few months doing it and i posted all these animation tests on twitter and people were like wow this is looking great these are great clips from the show i'm like these aren't clips from the show like these are literally just animation tests they were just practice so when I finally got around to doing a fight scene and like in this one fight scene it's like flappers and he's like beating up someone I

did this really fucking cool shot that I'm so proud of and I can't wait to show people it's like he fucking like charges into a dude and like boom like crushes him against the ground the ground just fucking like ripping, charges into a dude and, like, boom, like, crushes him against the ground. The ground's just fucking, like, ripping apart. And he's bouncing and smashing him into the ground. He whacks him against a wall. And then, like, the wall ripples.

And I'm just like, I made this. This is so fucking rad. I'm so excited to see the, like, finished product. I'm excited for people to see it. The moving background and shit. I was like, oh, fuck. But it's, like, so, it's kind of annoying because like i and now i talked i'm doing anim monthly which is the the monthly um uh animation um thing if you don't know on twitter on the 27th of every month i host a hashtag where essentially i say a theme it's

optional and on the 27th people post some of their animated sequences doesn't have to be the theme and then i retweet them and try and get an exposure i try to get people some eyes on their work because it's kind of hard for some artists to get eyes on their work on twitter and it's been a big success uh a lot of these uh animators that do really cool fight scene stuff i've discovered them through this um and uh yeah it's been cool because i'm just saying that i've met so many cool people that are doing all this really cool stuff. And I want to talk shop with them and show them what I'm working, but I can't, I can't on risk of it leaking.

So a lot of them are just like, we'd really like to see what you're doing. I'm like, I just can't. It's like, well, don't you have anything like animation tests that you're doing? Like other than that,

no, you got to keep it close to the chest. Literally every hour of every day that I have, I am working on something for something that is not ready or going out but i don't know it's it's i think it'll be worth it when you finally get to release it and like you're done you get to look back at the project and look at like the amount of work it takes like it's i don't it's i'm i'm excited because i've just pictured this moment where you going to like kind of show the office or like show like close friends and stuff.

And I'm excited to just like watch it and just see people's reactions. I'm excited for that too. I think I'm going to have a screening to show like all my YouTuber and artist and animator friends just to get some like feedback and see if there's anything i need to fix or any like things like about because the problem with the first episode of anything and this is just talking in general like it has a lot of heavy lifting to do so if the show has a bunch of concepts that aren't like grounded in reality which none of the show is you have to do so much heavy lifting in that first episode yeah like the episodes after like with characterization and stuff like that well more more so like just rules of the universe and this is like in this show

like rules of the universe are quite very much that like there are rules and they exist because of the artificial nature of their setting and I have to get those across because once those are across the next few episodes I'm just like the fucking like piccolo

weighted armor you know what, Piccolo weighted armor, you don't watch Dragon Ball, weighted armor falls off, and you just, it's just like, you don't have to explain anything, you just go fucking nuts with it. Like, over 9,000? Totally. Yeah, no, I'm really excited about it. Oh, I just hate it, I can't talk about it.

I fucking hate it. Well, the time will come, and it will be beautiful. Just end it, and explain why it's the way hate it. The time will come and it will be beautiful. Just end it and explain why it's the way it is. Generally speaking, if this was a production that was going on at Cartoon Network or it was going on at Nickelodeon or wherever, right? And we didn't have control of it and it was just something we were working with them on.

I guarantee you we wouldn't have spoken about this show until it was like way closer to being released. Just the nature of me being like an internet personality and if you just disappear and people don't know what you're doing, people are so quick to assume

the worst about anyone. They're just like, he's fucking lazy, he's not doing anything. So it doesn't hurt for me just to be like, I'm working on this thing. It's a big passion project of mine

and it's going to take me a really long time, but I guarantee you I'm working on it. That's that. Working on it he is folks you're not done with a whole fucking season of a show of an animated show in two months Ross

that's fully animated and doesn't use symbols at least as far as I know hopefully well we'll see it looks like shit and Ross it seriously looks amazing dude and I hope that people keep the thought of Gameiverse in their heads

so it's like fresh and they can keep getting hyped for it. I hope not. I hope they all forget about it when they come out. They're like, oh yeah, I remember this, and then they like it. I was like, oh! Sugoi! Sugoi Disney! Oh man, yeah. Dude, animation's fun. I love animation. Also, if you're just

hearing about Animonthly on this podcast, if you happen to, maybe that's something you'd like to look at. Oh, yeah, please. Check it out. Hashtag Anna Monthly. A-N-I Monthly. Anna Monthly. Hi, my name's Anna Monthly. It's just really chill, and it's a great way to meet

other artists and animators. Well, mainly animators, because this isn't QD Saturday or whatever. Can Ryan and I submit some animations for Anna Monthly? Of course. artists and animators well mainly animators because this isn't like cutie Saturday or whatever like this is just purely can Ryan and I submit some animations for Anim Monthly of course I don't know if I'll retweet you though can I use pivot stick figure I've had some like

a lot of people are like oh such an elitist thing but it's like no I like I retweet like kids who are like really young and like just trying man like they put in a lot of work if you saw me with pivot stick figure like maker or creator or whatever you did a lot of work if you if you saw me with pivot stick figure like maker creator whatever you did a good job yeah if i if you could see that i tried my hardest so here's the good thing about it we've had a lot of animators try and do this like really look up

tutorials and how to make animators who will actually go through the hashtag and give advice to people and be like hey the arc and this was bad or you really yeah like not bad they're not mean no i know that but like i like the sense of a constructive community that's looking to better each other's art i think that's important because like you know the animation on the community online has been a little uh not splintered but kind of just like a little everywhere there's been no super central hub for it yeah um so twitter has kind of become that because you know obviously we don't really have a big animation community on youtube anymore. And then whenever I say that, people are like, well, what about this person?

And then I go check, not to shit on that person, because I know how hard it is to run an animation YouTube channel. But then I go check on it, and it's just a bunch of picture, me talking, me talking, me talking. Picture. It's a slideshow. It's not an animation. It's the equivalent of an animation. It's by definition an animation, but it's a slideshow.

It's not what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to diss those people because honestly i fucking 100 understand so i don't do it on youtube anymore um yeah i'm just that's awesome why don't you just do game averse in pivot studio it's a good idea i've never thought of that actually i was laughing a minute ago because i was imagining like animonfly imagining like ryan and i submitting each like 20 different pivot animations like stick fighter animation did you do steven universe one oh it's steven yeah i should steven universe memes and that's right if you want to send if you want to uh okay so here here's here's my thoughts i've never seen it i've only seen like the fan base around uh yeah i i hate fan bases i actually

and that's what that's the thing when people go uh oh the fan base sucks for. Yeah, I hate fan bases. I actually, and that's the thing. When people go, oh, the fan base sucks for that. You don't like obnoxious fan bases, but you like fan bases. But at the same time, you kind of fall into them because you're like,

I really like Dragon Ball. I've always loved Dragon Ball. I've loved it since I was young. So you can connect with people who like Dragon Ball, but just not at that weird level. That over-the-top level. I don't like bright fan fiction

and I don't do this and that. Because at its core, fan means fanatical. Okay. Let's think about it fanatic fanatic right so um when it comes to shows like that i can enjoy the show for what it is and the substance but i don't want to get involved with the fanatic community surrounding it can that hinder a show because like you're really big into animation and does like, because if it doesn't, does it community, you put the sour taste in your mouth.

A lot of people won't, we'll see that as kind of a barrier of like, I don't want to, it's like, if I mentioned it, if I mentioned it, people are going to like think that I am not serious about it. I'm like,

you know, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have, I have bad taste or something because they haven't seen it, but they've seen the, the, the just disgusting shit that's around that fan base.

So do you have fears for that with like game overs? I answered your question before you said it. Okay. Yes. You knew exactly where I was going. I've had, I can't, there's a, so there's, there's something that happened on a Twitch stream and it's confusing. Uh oh.

You want to talk about it? Yeah. I can't talk about it without talking about the lore of the show. Okay. But someone was like, will there be LGBT representation in the show? And I was like, one, I can't answer that without talking in great

length about how the universe works. And how reproduction works in the show. Yeah. The answer is currently, as it stands, none. But there's no, none but there's no no no there's no there's no straight people i'm like okay well anyway what i was trying to say is there's no reproduction okay in the show so i'm just saying like there are relationships but they're not but that doesn't that doesn't change the fact that people are just going to drop porn of them anyway

so oh yeah maybe we can get ryan back in the room whatever I'm the new Ryan of super mega dude well I now it's just us Ross I am gonna submit some animations for a month do it I submitted a drawing to cutie Saturday that Aaron just did not retweet are you serious I got like I got like 4,000 like Aaron doesn't retweet them anymore well the state like he didn't he didn't engage with it at all this was this before he did that it was a it was a beautiful portrait I did a Michelle Obama and he just- You're fucking kidding me. Did I- have I ever shown you this? No. I submitted this- Yo, Ryan, get back in here, you fucking tool.

I submitted this, uh- Are you gonna change your mind about the LGBTQ- I didn't- you didn't let me fucking explain myself. I was trying to say there's no- Okay, but then explain yourself. I- You like walk away and don't let me explain myself and then you come back in and like explain yourself. Come on, explain yourself. You like walk away and don't let me explain myself. And then you come back in and like explain yourself. Come on, explain yourself. There needs to be an explanation. I said there's no reproduction in the show.

Yeah, so how... Which means there's no relationships of a sexual nature. Because that just doesn't exist. Is what I'm trying to say. Alright, Ross. Here's my cutie Saturday submission. Wow, that is fucking beautiful. You didn't retweet it. That's so mean. My cutie Saturday drawing submission wow that is fucking beautiful you didn't retweet it that's so mean my cutie saturday drawing i did a michelle obama he just didn't retweet but to but to but

to reiterate there are relationships between people of uh you know platonic nature is just the end result isn't like they're not they're not they're not pussy fucking each other yeah i mean it's a kid's show but they're not pussy fucking each other yeah yeah essentially and i know people are maybe there's some people going to get really irritated at me but i do uh they're you'll it seems like more you'll understand when you see what i mean this seems like one of the more those things where it's like is there a representation in the show it's like technically not but there are characters but there are there's many different demographics that are that are there are characters that would allude to that but if you were to look

at it objectively as like as in how the story works then no yeah because it's like once again let's use steven universe's metaphor they so you created the universe specifically so that lg so gays would not exist that's exactly what i did i went into it the solid no of course not of course not like of course not um i i but i actually like it's it's stuff like that that interests me the yeah the world creation and little details like universe building is like my favorite fucking thing like so much fun i i after this show if if everything goes great i have a few other ideas I want to do but I just fucking love universe building

because that's why I love D&D Matt and I have been wanting to join in on some sessions when can we do that do you want me to give you a little rundown on what happened in our campaign sure sure yeah so this is

are you allowed to invite us or do you have to go talk with the elders to make sure that we're okay? In my house, Holly is a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan. She got me into it. Holly, when she was in high school, she started a D&D club with a few of her friends, very academic

girls in her school in Redlands. News got around that they were doing this dnd club and the principal called them all into his office and the first thing he said to them is like girls i hear that you're doing a dnd club all i want to know and you're fine to do it will you be using actual human blood for the sacrifices oh come on unironically like he thought they were like wiccans or something yeah essentially and holly just like looked at him like they're all dumbfounded these are like young girls at the time they're like um it's a board game like a lot of these baby boomers back then they don't fucking get they didn't get no idea what dungeons and

they just saw they just heard kids going like, I'm a wizard of a black cast magic missile. Can't dodge it. And I can't evade. They just hear that shit and they're like, oh, they're channeling demons that are giving them alternate personas. No, they're just fucking playing make-believe with rules. Their little friend is a computer that's like

dictating the rules. I thought Dungeons and Dragons, I was always like, I'm not sure, I can't get into that. I always thought it was just this overly complex game with all these rules and all these different types of cards and just things that made it difficult. It's like, well, if you move to... I always thought it was like, oh, your character moves to space A, B,

but B spaces are different than C spaces because they don't have these power... You can't use certain power ups on A spaces. Okay, let's do a scenario right now. Okay. Okay. Let me show you how Dungeons & Dragons works. Can we just do a mini, can we do a mini game right now? Yeah, I'm gonna tell you right now. Can we

make our characters? Okay, let's find a random number generator, alright? I need to find this. Can you just pause the podcast for one sec? Yeah. We're about to have a mini version, like a very quick, fast paced version of very quick fast-paced version okay yeah sure okay okay um can we call this the fastest game of dnd ever played yeah as the title and some big red arrows or something big red circles can you throw those can you throw those in there don hey don please throw in a bunch of red arrows in this thumbnail i need to find a dice roll oh my god there's an actual d20 dice roller app on the google play store sure yeah get it let's get

it so wait okay can we think of our characters real quick okay i'm gonna i'm gonna give you characters oh so we can't choose what characters well just just for now uh uh hold on i'm gonna do this real simple all right can i could i be a person with a like a bear hand okay so here we go here's the scenario okay so ryan yeah you are a busty elven woman yes so like you're you're a wizard you're like you got magic okay do i look like zarya sure you look like i'm a bus like i'm ryan you're hot as fuck Alright I'm hot but Masculine no you're just hot Okay I'm fucking gorgeous

And you are a dragon man You're a dragon dragon Born okay I'm a dragon born so you're a dragon You're a dragon man does he live in Skyrim That's a different dragon born these are dragon people Okay so you're a dragon born and you are Uh You're blue I play a dragon born And you have lightning you're blue. I play with blue Dragonborn.

And you have lightning breath. What color am I, Ross? So here's the scenario. I'm your DM, right? Am I ebony? Am I? Okay, sure, you're a dark elf. Okay, sweet.

I think that's a thing. Or is it dark elf? Are black elves just called dark elves? I'm not very well versed in the lore of D&D. I'm still learning myself. Just say I'm a spanking hot elf. I'm a spanking hot elf. You're a spanking hot elf. Alright, so here's the scenario. Alright, so I'm

going to be your DM right now. Okay. So what's your character's name? My character's name is Alanda. Okay, Alanda and what's your name? So Alonda. Alonda sounds more Elven. Alonda? Yeah, Alonda. I don't know, Reptile? Yeah, Reptile. I'm going to be Screndor. Screndor and Alonda. Okay. Okay, so Screndor and Alonda. I don't know, Reptile? Yeah, Reptile. I'm going to be Screndor.

Screndor and Alonda. Okay. Okay. So Screndor and Alonda, you've known each other for some time. You're walking through the forest. Okay. All of a sudden, you guys hear a noise. So let's make a perception check.

Okay, so now you're going to roll a d20. Okay. I'm rolling my dice. Okay, so you just roll your dice for me. I'm going to hit the button. Snake eyes, baby. Okay, so you got a 19 out for me. I'm gonna hit the button. Snake eyes, baby. Okay, so you got a 19 out of 20. Okay. Wow. Okay.

So, um, your perceptions, your, whatever your perception stat is, you add it to that. So let's just say your perception was something something. It ended up being 20. So natural 19 plus whatever your perception. Damn. So you got, yeah, unless he had one. He's stupid. But for some reason today he was really sharp. He ate a good breakfast today. He ate his wee bits. I drank my protein. Yeah, drank his protein. So all of a sudden, what was your character's name again? Screndor. Screndor. Screndor.

You see some rustling in the bushes. What are you gonna do? I have like full freedom. You can do whatever you want. Holy shit. What do you wanna do right now? You've got a sword and shield. You're a fighter. I'm gonna just lunge my sword straight into that bush. You sure? I'm positive.

Alright, let's roll a dice for the attack. You got a one. I got a one? You got a one. You're a warrior and you got a one! I thought you ate a good fucking breakfast, man. I did too. You go to lunge and then you up, and you fall into the bush. Unfortunately, what was going on in the bush is you have come across a guy who's peeing. Oh, jeez.

And this guy's peeing in the bush. How tiny is this guy? Tiny? Is this... Oh, he's a halfling. Oh, okay. So this halfling is trying to pee in a bush, and you've just tripped up while you're trying to go attack the bush, and you've landed in the bush, and now he's urinating on your face.

What do you want to do now? Could I just laugh? How- do you want to roll for laughter? Yeah. You got 11, that's pretty decent. Okay, so that's a good laugh. That's a good, like, do your best 11 laugh. Okay, there it is.

Great. Alright, so, um, you got got uh you you stand up would that actually stand in the game i can roll an 11 for laugh i mean i you don't really brawl for laughter but whatever i just thought why not okay so all right you you stand up you're you're you kind of you wipe off the urine off your face and he didn't roll for that though and the half the halfling is laughing like, Oh, I'm sorry, did I startle you there? What is your name? Screndor. What?

Hi, I'm Screndor. Screndor, Screndor. My name is Small Mannington. I'm a halfling. Hey, Small Mannington. I was just on my way to town. I think I know your brother, Peyton Mannington. Give me a high five.

I was just on the way to town. I wanted to go and buy some apples but it's so dangerous in this forest could you guys help me get to town sure it's his turn will it cost you anything yeah it's gonna cost you half those apples so one apple i was gonna buy two yeah yeah we can share an apple we'll split the apple split the apple. We'll split the apple. All right. You're a lizard. You don't need much. So with small Mannington, you continue along the path. When all of a sudden, Ryan, make a perception check. Roll your dice. I'm rolling my dice.

Okay. So you got a nine. Okay. But then I have to add that to my regular perception stat. You didn't do great. You just. Do I have. Am I dumb like Matt?

Do I have a one? No, you just. It wasn't good enough. Oh. You didn't. great. You just... Do I have... Am I dumb like Matt? Do I have a one? No, you just... It wasn't good enough. Oh. You didn't perceive nothing. Okay. So you keep walking. He's a blonde. Am I right? Yeah. Blonde elf? No, just blonde. Oh, okay. So you keep walking, keep walking, and then all of a sudden, um, bandits

jump out of the forest. You didn't see them, hear them coming because your perception was shit. Fuck. Um, alright, make a... What do you guys want to do? Okay, hear them coming because your perception was shit. Fuck. All right. Make a, what do you guys want to do? Okay. So we can decide as a. You can do anything you want. Anything you can even imagine.

Separately or can we like come together? I'm going to go by turn. So let's go initiative order. This is what we normally do. So you roll for initiative, which means we'd roll like, let's just say rolling D20. Okay. So you roll a 10 for initiative. All right.

So let's see what you roll. You roll 11. So you get to go first. But first we need to see what the bandits got.. You roll 11, so you get to go first. But first we need to see what the bandits got. The bandits got 12. The bandits get to go first. Uh-oh.

So the bandit runs in. Let's say there's two bandits. The other bandit got 20, so you're fucked. So both bandits get to go before you. The bandit runs in, and he takes a swing at you, and he causes only like four damage. So let's say you have 20, so you're down four damage and uh the other one attacks you uh ryan and he gets about eight damage in okay all right so then you would mark down how much you lost uh now it's your turn so what what do you want to do okay

i what so like do what powers do i have okay you can shoot you can let's say you can shoot fire balls and so i have fire magic yeah fire magic let's say that like you what powers do I have? I'm magic. Let's say you can shoot fireballs. So I have fire magic? Yeah, fire magic, let's say that. You'd have a list of skills. Okay, I call upon my magical glory. Okay, you got fire magic, you're gonna cast fire magic? To easily, to combust their clothes, to put their clothes on fire.

Well. To set them on fire. You're gonna cast the ability, but we'll see if that happens that's my intent that's your intent okay I'm gonna cast some magic cause I want to specifically light their clothes on fire okay which guy are you attacking the one that

20 because he pissed me off okay cool so the guy that attacked you you got 17 so that's pretty good plus whatever your damage so you you fucking burn that guy he's on fire he's screaming like his skin is his skin melting? Oh, he's in trouble. Yes.

Man, I fucked this guy up. You've got your sword and shield. What do you want to do? You know what? I want to ram into him with my shield and push him down. The guy on fire? With the hope... No, the guy not on fire.

With the hopes that he'll fall back into the guy on fire and catch himself on fire. So that is going to take a grappling roll. So you're going to have to roll for grappling, and there's a skill involved with that, yada yada, that would add on to it, but you actually have to... He will grapple against you. How about I just try to knock him down? He will roll against you.

This is the same thing. Okay. Oh, you're talking about knocking him down and holding him down? Because you can do that. Can I just bump him with my shield and knock him down so he falls down and gets hurt? Okay, sure. That's not going to... It might not hurt him because the ground's pretty soft can i just stab him in

the chest then yep sure okay you got a five so um you miss how do you miss a chest man you're a warrior you're the worst fucking warrior and i got this woman over here just criticizing me all i burned some dude alive i'm doing fucking amazing i don't want to hear some woman talking my head off saying how i could be doing this better. Do you see the guy on fire? Is the guy on fire dead or is he just burning? That's all I hear. All of a sudden, a small mannington springs into action.

Small mannington? He rolls a 16. He goes in and he attacks the guy on fire. He's pierced his chest. The guy's screaming. He's like double dead. He's bleeding out. How is he not dead think he'll be dead in one more turn. Holy shit.

If he survives this, his life sucks. Either way, he's fucked. Going back to the next guy, the guy on fire rolled a 19. What? In his death throw. Does he run into me on fire and catches me on fire? In his death throw, he runs towards Matt and tries to grab him so and

hold him so the fire burns you as well so we're gonna have to have he's gonna grapple with you so grapple with me or Matt? with you he's trying to grab you and give you a bear hug I thought he was you said Matt sorry I meant Ryan he's trying to grab me he's gonna grab what was your character's name again?

Alonda so he's gonna grab Alonda. What was your character's name again? Alonda. So he's going to grab Alonda. You're going to have to roll against his grapple. Okay, how high was his grapple? 19. There's no way I'm beating him. I'll see. You got 15. He grabbed you. But if I get 15, does that mean he does

still a large amount of damage? Is it just like he... Is it just a win-lose? Let's just say you've taken about three points of damage right now. If you don't get him off you, you're gonna keep taking fire damage. Okay, so it's continuous damage. Got it. Continuous damage. So he's almost dead. Like poison damage in Pokemon.

Right, exactly, exactly. And I just wanna just preface, I've never DM'd before, so this is just me imitating my friends. It's working, though, man. Yeah, we've never played D&D, so it's perfect. This is very much what it's like okay all right so uh you're now you're now being grappled by the flaming guy who's bleeding out small minington's just i shouldn't have i shouldn't have caught him on fire you know you did the right thing he's almost dead uh so uh one more

the other bandit gets to go in oh no oh what happened The other bandit got a 19 as well. Jesus Christ. You got some rigged app, Ross. What the fuck is this app you're using? You got a 19 like three times. So the other bandit runs at Matt, and he's, I don't know how much damage you take. You take a... Like a lot of damage. You take about eight damage. Matt takes eight damage.

I'm assuming you've got, let's say 22. So you've taken 16 damage out of 22 so you have 6 more spots left you're actually in a bad spot right now I'm decent who had initiative order? it was Matt

so Matt, what do you want to do? Ryan's in trouble you're low on health this guy that's screaming and burning alive is like screaming and grabbing me and I'm like I'm like it's like that

so what are you gonna do I want to take my sword and I want to try to slice the burning guy's head off so he'll be dead and drop Ryan you got a 19. Okay, dude, this app is just throwing 19s left and right. No, no, it's not.

Okay, well, I got him, though. You got a 19. He's dead. You cut his head off. Okay, sweet. He just falls to the ground. You dust off the fire. I dust off.

You dust off the fire. Well, I'm a fire mage. Yeah, you dust off the fire. You're good. All right, so what do you want to do? You've got one guy left. So what is the guy doing? What was his last? Is he just standing there?

He's right next to I keep forgetting the lizard's name. What is your guy's name? Crendor. Crendor? Crendor. Crendor. Crendor's a YouTuber. Oh, I'm sorry. Crendor. Crendor. So, okay, let me choose what I want to. I want to.

Did you go? I thought. Oh, yeah, it's your turn. Yeah. Okay, sorry. Yeah, your turn. Okay, go, go, go. What what i want to i want to just no no it's did you go i thought oh yeah it's your turn yeah okay sorry yeah your turn okay go go go what do you want to do what because you got one guy left okay what i want to do is i want to i'm aiming and i want to because i have this staff of course that has sure you have a has a little flame on yeah sure why not i want to throw it and spear the dude through the head Spear the band or you want to do that because then you won't have a weapon the next turn Because this is a gamble right now Do you want I want to do it? You got a 10 it just kind of hits him in the forehead he's like fuck

Fucking fire mage and I throw my staff at the dude's head. Oh, it was a staff? It was a staff. I thought it was like a spear. But it hit the whole end of it, just hit him in the head like... Ow, why did you do that? Like one of those cartoon... Okay, so I think it's Small Mannington's turn right now.

Yeah. Okay, so Small Mannington got a 16, so he runs up and... As the dude's distracted by the just welt that's forming on his head. Oh, so Small Mannington's a 16 so he runs up and uh as the dude's distracted by the well he's gonna grapple oh so small mannington's gonna grapple him like he jumps at him like a little like like a little baby grizzly bear and like wraps him around like like like around his leg like chow chow on napa kind of thing dragon ball references uh okay and you're you guys see it and uh let's see what the other guy gets you got a nine so uh he's grappled right now okay so that means uh what do you guys want to do he's actually held so matt you have. So that means, what do you guys want to do?

He's actually held, so I think his neck, he won't, he can't do anything, so he's grappled. He's entangled right now. It's on you. All right.

It worked pretty well last time. Can I just go straight for the head again? Sure. Can I just cut the neck with the sword? Do you want to slice off the head? Yeah. Okay.

He wants to slice off the head. 12. And all right, we'll add your whatever, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you do it. Except it's not clean off. No, it's like one of those like it like gets half there and you feel your

sword hit the bone and the blood is coming down on Small Mannington and he's like, hey dude, what the fuck? It's gruesome. It's like what happened with guillotines when they became dull. They had to raise it up several times. I'm like, Small Mannington, you got your piss on me. It's only fair I get some bodily fluids on you. He laughs

and goes, that's true. Okay, and then we kiss. And then we kiss. Yeah, you guys kiss. Yeah, let's see how good the kiss is. One. Was it really one? Am I that bad at kissing? You're a stupid, horrible warrior. You're fucking awful. Well, I'm also a lizard though, so my kissing sucks. You did kill both of them. You bit him

in the face, and he's like, fucking Christ, why did you do that? That's how my people kiss my people anyway just ruin the moment they fall over uh you guys dust yourself off just off the blood um and you go for a walk and uh you get to town and uh you buy yourself an apple cool yeah awesome good job we got our apple well we each get half judging from like what you've just done i want to do this did you have fun yes i want to do this i want to like imagine this but with like a sheet of paper and you make your own character you're very invested in this i want to do this you would fit into the story that we're playing uh and we all have like a little persona we do it's very fun um obviously there's more rules than what i just did of course

you'd have your sheet of paper with all your stats and like you'd be we don't do like min maxing because some people take the stat stuff very seriously i don't personally like that i like the combat to be fun it's more about the experience and the fun and the storytelling it's the combined improv storytelling that's really fun um i definitely when can we start this up soon well i mean matt is matt's leaving soon so i'm out of town right now well probably end of october because we want to do it aaron's in our group but aaron keeps missing it so we just keep saying that aaron's asleep at the end okay so it just works um um but yeah well so so uh heidi and jared were a part of our group but now they live in seattle i would definitely show up on a scheduled time whenever whenever all right sounds good man well that's so that's your little what do you have any

questions about no i'm excited to play ross i I'm fully in. I'm serious. I would love to play. I would love to be a part of it. How about we... I was just saying, because your group seems so welcoming that I don't feel like it would be very taunting. I watched the documentary you showed me and it seemed taunting to be in one of those groups.

Dungeon Masters? I really liked it. It's sad. It's not about Dungeons and Dragons. But anyways, you were about to say something, Matt, sorry. I was going to say, how about we rolled it

in this podcast? All right, let's see. Okay. You got a three. Well, another hour then. All right, well, guys, it's 1.22 a.m. We've had a wonderful time

sitting on this couch. Thank you so much for joining us, Ross. You're welcome back anytime. Always a good time. Always a good time. Well, guys, thank you so much for joining us Ross you're welcome back anytime always a good time always a good time well guys thank you so much for listening

we'll be back next week with episode 65 and then after that episode 66 is gonna be a little special Halloween one coincidentally it's 66

spookmas I love how that worked out that was just coincidental that was completely coincidental but we'll be back next week guys and until then Ross

would you and Ryan kiss? No. Wait, hold on. Yeah, roll for a kiss. Are we gonna kiss? Wait, wait, wait. Ryan, pick a number between 1 and 20. 11.

Okay, if it's an 11, you guys have to kiss. That's a 1. Is that like half a kiss? Because that's half a letter. No, that's a critical fail. Well, see you guys next week. Bye. kiss because that's half a letter no that's that's a critical fail well see you guys next week bye